The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 227 - Spear Pressure

Episode Date: October 1, 2019

After barely surviving a tense battle, the party forges deeper into the mountain. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection, free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH-balancing minerals and crafted with skin-conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast, in the wake of battle.

But I also wanted to make a statement here. I don't want to keep going from fight to fight, risking everything with these small, petty combats. I don't know, how do we send a message? How do we strike a blow so hard that they don't keep fighting? The heroes reckon with their purpose. You're right, Dalgrith. We need to make a statement. We need to strike fear into their hearts, but it's up to the mountain itself to reveal itself to us,

so we gotta push on forward. Before bedding down for the night. Perhaps there's something we are missing. But the mountain awaits. Ading down for the night. Perhaps there's something we are missing. But the mountain awaits. A patrol comes into the room. And the fight is far from done. Roll for initiative. Oh my god! Oh baby! This is a time for a high one

because I really need it! The adventure continues now. what's going on everybody welcome back back to the Glass Cannon Podcast. My name is Joe O'Brien and this is episode 227. I am by myself in the office today, just packing up a few odds and ends before we head out in a couple days here to Los Angeles. Got a live show this Saturday night, October 5th at the Bootleg Theater and there are tickets still available, at least from what I heard a couple days ago.

If there are tickets still available, you don't want to miss your chance to see your boy Joe roll a couple natural twanzonis, do you? Come on. Get online. Grab yourself a ticket. Join the fun. It's going to be a blast. Actually, these are the last tickets available of the Glass Cannon Live Tour of 2019.

Boston sold out. Philly sold out. Come on, L.A. You can't compete with Philly. You've got to bring your A game. Philly's showing you up, man. All that incredible surfing and gorgeous mountaintop hiking Philadelphia is known for. It's gorgeously attractive people walking the streets to yoga classes day in and day out.

Come on, L.A. You better step it up. You're embarrassing yourself. Get online. Get a couple ticks. Hang out with the boys. Enjoy the show. We're going to have a great time.

That is it for me this week, guys. What I actually want you to do is kick back, relax, settle in, and enjoy a little Glass Cannon podcast. Episode 227, because here it comes right now. Even though last week's episode was an emotional rollercoaster of a combat where Thune's life was on the table and not only did he survive But he leveled up

The only thing That I could think about All week Is how Grant Has been hoarding Bottle caps You sitting on Three caps over there

You were so angry When we left She's like Three caps This is why I gotta Bring the board back I would have known If I kept up on the board

Put it on the board You know where the board is. So I have a bottle cap from the eulogy of Pembroke and Firaza, which I thought was well-earned. Man, these expire after a while, you know. I know this is kind of beside the point now because she's dead, but you can schwa the first syllable of Firaza's name. Firaza. Sorry, say it again.

Firaza. Firaza. I'm sorry. Schwat? Yeah. Even though... That's not fun to say this reminds me last week i saw a video of uh a minute a minute and a half of alex trebek saying genre yeah that was very popular how does he say genre he's because he was french canadian and he says the french way and it was like made me question how I said genre my entire life. I have a bottle cap for the silence on the fire giant trap.

When they ambushed us. Yeah, that sounds right. And then I got a ball cap for the battle with Kavixia. Wow. Anybody else sitting on multi caps? I have one. One. The DKB last episode.

Joe has one, Matthew? One. All right. You sure? No, i have caps for other shows okay and please i know i haven't spent the last two i believe that i have not spent the one for the eulogy but i'm sure someone will email in and correct me just as they do matthew on a weekly basis all right i'm updating the board you found the board i haven't seen that in months

i love how you were like where's the board i don't even know where the board is and you literally didn't have to get up to find it you just pulled it out from under your chair leave from my seat all right so grant's got two right three three two for grant and uh one for matthew none for skid and joe that's what i have here that's not right uh i can't imagine the dead sons and ruins of ass lance ones are correct i for Dead Sons. And currently those give us plus six to a roll? Yes. Yes, which came in handy never. Yeah, ever since that rule changed, they've been nullified.

That was my goal. Mission accomplished. Take our one fake currency that all the listeners like out of the game. You mean the one we mail to people? Right. I aim to not please did everybody have a good week it's fall now it's thanksgiving's right around the corner you've been listening you've been listening to christmas songs already

grant i'm a man of uh principles novemberst at midnight. What principles would those be? I only listen when I say I'm going to listen. That's my only principle. All right. I believe you. You know what? I believe you. Something about the cut of your jib. I've been enjoying this week.

The weather, like the fine, it's like a fever breaking in New York. It's getting close. The fall starts. It's like now, like this has been like 60, high 60s this week. Yes, but you're talking to LaValle here. Yeah. So it has to be 50 overcast with a slight mist in the air. Yeah.

Where he's like, it's balls hot outside. I know. He's sweating bullets and complaining when it's like 65 with the AC on in the studio. The other day it was 68 outside. I'm like, ah, it's what a balmy 68 this is. He walked into the office. I was in here. He's like, You better have the air conditioner on and no windows open. It was

gorgeous outside. It has been. Even though the temperature's been going down, the humidity has still been... It's still very humid. It's gross, man. I hate it. I will say, I've established my own firm love of summer. And I get that you won't like it And you prefer the cold

But I do After over a decade of living in New York City I still Every October, November I'm like Man, winter's never coming It's gonna be great

Just like this forever Yeah And then I am slammed into the ground By a snowstorm at some point Yeah That happens But it's also The way they really get you

Is that December is usually still okay Yeah And you're like Man, it's really gonna like keep really get you is that december is usually still okay yeah and you're like man it's really gonna like keep going and then right at the end of december january february it is brutal bitter nasty skin pain cold i love it right you like i'm getting excited just thinking about it you like this come on let me get through thanksgiving christmas i do like the cold i yeah i mean i enjoy the cold But I don't like the skin pain cold That's just I don't get the skin pain cold

I have an extra layer of skin It just That explains a lot Just hide It really feels good You're a rabid multidermite A rabid multidermite Yeah no

The colder the better And New York fall is such a joke It'll be like really cold one day The kind of cold that I like. And then it goes back to 80. And then you get one more week of 60s. And then it's freezing cold. Like, give me a good old-fashioned New England fall.

Not going to get it here. In this fucking shithole city. I hate it. There are literal songs and bad Richard Gere movies made about autumn in New York. There are? Yes. Yeah. Email me the uh

movies later autumn in new york oh yeah that's a song that's a song in a movie yeah it's highly touted in uh you've got mail featuring tom

hanks and what's her name that movie made me cry i was uh had a big crush on a girl in the sixth grade and i went on vacation with my family and

i hadn't seen her in like five days because she was in my math class and then like i just watched it i was like that's how i feel about her autumn in new york or no you've got mail you've got mail featuring a young dave chapelle that's true yeah he plays tom hanks best friend yeah his unlikely best friend doesn't he work doesn't he work in his bookstore i know it's not a bookstore he well he's like a book chain he's a book he's like an executive book chain he's like an executive

though and he's like an executive she owns a local bookstore yeah oh yeah like a mom and pop yeah that movie is all the time that movie is so quaint in the amazon era it is so yeah barnes and nobles also like a fourth remake of that story it is right it's like a star is born let's shop around i saw the uh whatchamacallit, the play. She Loves Me. Yeah, She Loves Me. That was a good play. Anyway. Thanksgiving is right around the corner. My favorite. Time to break out the cornucopias.

For the theater listeners out there, She Loves Me is one of my favorite musicals, Walter. Oh. Oh. Well, good for you, Matthew. She Loves You. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also a good song, but not from that musical. Matthew loves a good musical, but doesn't like to sing.

Even though I bet you have the voice of an angel. Yeah, well, you like football. You're the worst athlete I've ever met in my life. That's not true at all. He's good. I saw a video he posted on Instagram of doing a squat that was pretty impressive. Lifting weights is not being an athlete. That's true.

Those are two completely different things. You guys played softball together. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. I saw from five feet away. He was bad at softball? You should see the number of throws Joe threw over first base.

All right. Let's get into it. I think those far outweigh the number of grounders that I've done. We really should not have opened up the Japanese gym before this episode. There's going to be a fight. It's not just butchering the grounders.

It's when the grounder is hit to you, turning away in fear like a child like that is what's off first of all my face is my money maker second of all i made some fucking web gem catchers and you know that's the truth that is true wait so are you the were you the corbin bernson of your uh of your softball team yes he was he. That's a good reference. That is true, yeah. Oh, my God. I only got a few good years left. I need to get those endorsement deals.

Can't do it with broken teeth. That's a major league reference. Oh, my God. Let me stop the billiard. That was so funny. I think I'm going to be playing Hurt the rest of this episode. Just your sides. You know who's playing Hurt? Thune.

Thune. Yeah. He had a rough one. Everyone one everyone's playing hurt i thought we healed thune we did heal thune and he leveled up which i was pretty excited about i talked to you guys when we went off the air and i kind of i think i may have revealed for the first time what thune's situation was he was a a fighter two rogue four and so i kind of left it up to you guys in a certain way. I wanted to see which way you wanted me to go. Obviously, Rogue was the higher class, so I thought you'd lean that way, and you did want me to go Rogue, because Fighter 3 just gave him, like, armor training plus one, one less penalty to, you know, wearing armor, I think.

And then, but whereas Rogue 5 gives him an extra sneak attack damage die. Can't turn that down. Huge. And of course, uh, now, uh, that he's achieved level seven,

he got a new feet and skid recommended. I did a bonus rogue talent. So I went bonus rogue talent and I took a very cool one called offensive defensive, which basically anyone you hit with your sneak attack damage. If you land a melee strike with sneak attack damage, you get a bonus to your AC against that opponent up to your sneak attack damage die. So if I hit someone with a sneak attack, I get a plus three bonus to my AC.

Great. Do you think... The way Thun fights, I figured that would be good for him. Yeah, because he always hits right away. I don't know about that. He does. But this additional insight and level into rogue do you think that will stop him from charging headlong into battle i don't know i think you can you can take uh you can level up

thun but thun's always gonna thun dude i just took offensive defensive he's trying to push the off yeah but he won't get a sneak attack if he's not yeah what i did say that he does if it's the first action of the round yeah you know if he gets in. He needs to do sneak attack. Yeah, what I did say to Joe. He does if it's the first action of the round. Yeah. You know, if he gets in there and hits him before he moves, then that's to be fine. I did say to you, Joe, that like, Thune and Dalgorth should work together. It benefits both of you, you know, immensely.

But the way you said it was like, you should have been training Thune. You should have been working with Thune is what I said. When? When I stand by him. Running and screaming through war for the last 18 hours it's been months of show i know it is months of show uh and man he would really do better than having that just a chain shirt now that you got plus two half plate and a plus one chain shirt but that's for

when you go back to mid halls valley but his his total hp will be up to 92 i only rolled a three on a d8 so right to who'd you roll with i rolled with grant I only rolled a three on a D8, so. Wait, who'd you roll with? I rolled with Grant and Grant rolled a one to my three. Oh, man. Sorry. Yes. Killed him.

So, yeah, I don't know. I'm just excited that he's alive because I really didn't want to kill him but I was ready to do it and now he's around

and you guys are resting. Yes. So go ahead and rest. Give yourself your HP back. Give yourself your abilities and spells back. And during the time that you're resting and watching and whatnot, no one comes into the room.

Beautiful. And this was the... Where did we end up resting? Behind the sets In the The The Amateur theatricals room Ah Yes

Where that filthy orc Turned on us The bastard We had a room In my high school Called the prop room Where they stored all the props And where they stored

Like all the set stuff Is that where you went And smoked cigarettes No it was inside Friends Be realistic It's where people Weren't made out

But someone took the R or prop and turned it into an O. So it was the poop room. Oh, man. What a classic joke. Did you ever poop in there? No, Grant.

It was just a room. Did you ever... Answer the question, Matthew. Did you ever poop in the poop room? No. All right. There was literally a bathroom

like five feet away. But it would have been cool in high school to be like, I'm the guy that pooped. That would have been cool in high school to be like i'm the guy that pooped that would have been real cool you and i have very different then pops the collar on his leather jacket i took a shit in a high school facilities room squares later i'm gonna go push over a cow yeahides across the top of a Cadillac.

I just love imagining Matthew as the Fonz, but with a scatological fascination. Throughout high school. The Scones. Those are the coolest guys. The bottle cans. He gets a jukebox and just... He gets a jukebox It's just For those of you at home

Grant just stuck his ass Onto the microphone And tried to fart into it That is That is as untrue As the fact that you did not poop In the poop room Matthew

Well it's very Howard Stern We appreciate it So we rest Unbothered Unbothered. However, when you wake up, or when the last person wakes up, a patrol comes into the room.

As if perfect timing, it must be minutes after you wake up, a patrol comes into the room and spreads out. It's six fire giants with hellhounds. And the hellhounds get very close to where you guys are. Metro grips everybody's arms.

They fan out. Hellhounds are still sniffing around. Dogwraith is holding back a cough. It's super intense. It's tickling. Choo! Come on! Get it, Dogwraith!

Choo! Roll for initiative I like that your cough sounds less It doesn't sound like a Deathbringers cough at all I smoked for years The greatest warrior That ever lived it's you you're so cute

the fire giants call the hellhounds back and they leave out the way that you guys came in oh no they came from the south and went out the way you guys came in press forward yeah that's what happens.

Well, we know they're patrolling that way, so... Did they examine the bodies? Yeah, they did. But they didn't seem phased by it, because they've seen this type of damage now throughout... And they know it's us. ...three rooms on the grinder that you have completely decimated. The first being the one that you were surprised when they were like,

over the door now! Those guys came out, and then obviously this room that you're in, and then the combat training room with the statues. You know, I chased after those two frost giants as they ran out of the room because I thought we could take them out and let them get back to their kin. But I also wanted to make a statement here. I don't want to keep going from fight to fight, risking everything with these small, petty combats.

I want to send a message. I thought killing this trainer would give us something that would tell them they've got to flee, they've got to break up, they've got to have doubts in their leadership. It doesn't seem to be working, though. They're unfazed by these bodies on the floor. They're still hunting for us like it's nothing. I don't know.

How do we send a message? How do we strike a blow so hard that they don't keep fighting? Sorry. We ain't going gonna give up in here this is their home turf but i think i think you jump into conclusions that we ain't shaking their morale like yeah they're looking for us i would be too that doesn't mean that they ain't affected i think they are i would be i think we just we we have the advantage i think we have to keep moving and we're and we're doing very well i think we have to be sure in our purpose keep going i agree i think we do too i think we have the advantage but i'm just worried there's a small part of my mind in the back that's saying

maybe we're misinterpreting what's happening here. Maybe we don't understand that they're drawing us into something. We definitely don't know what's happening. Draw us into one trap already. All of you have seen plenty of battle in the past, and I respect each and one of you on the battlefield. But I've seen these camps before. of you on the battlefield but i've seen these camps before the difference with this one versus all the others that we had the whole place laid out in front of us no matter where we were we could see all their buildings all their encampments where everything was we could strategize here as here we are at the mercy of how the caves lay out.

And you're right, Dalgrith. We need to make a statement. We need to strike fear into their hearts, but it's up to the mountain itself to reveal itself to us, so we've got to push on forward. Perhaps there's something we've been missing. Outside these walls is a great encampment. Our true

objective is to bring down who is ever in charge of this mountain. We also must dispel and so descend among the camp. Perhaps there's a message we could send to there. Spread our word. Spread our word.

Spread the fear. But what is that fear up against the fear of the storm tyrant? Is that the one they fear more than anything, isn't it? I think we just have to keep moving, keep toppling the dominoes. Until we hit someone in charge, none of this is going to have any effect on the greater plan that they've got going on. But I thought that's who that was.

I thought that was someone in charge. That's a leader, but it's not the leader. No, I know you're right. And that, in toppling him, that may have some effect on the people we're going to fight next, but we don't know. We just have to keep moving. That's all I'm saying.

No, I agree. I mean, we're not going to keep moving, but can we move smarter? Is there something we can do to make it put itself at less risk? Let's be honest, Jim, we came out on top, but it was a close one. If Baron hadn't hit that shot

the way he did, it could have been much uglier than it all turned out. Thune could be dead. We could all be in a much worse state now. I just want to try to minimize the risk. That's all I'm talking about. Moving forward, yes, but maybe, as Baron suggests,

scouting a little more. Peeking up ahead before we move in. Trying to give ourselves that ability to do the strategy. I'll tell you one thing that I felt cut to their hearts more than anything else we did so far. Whenever we touched their food or drink supply we cut at their bellies which is where their strength comes from so we got to keep on going down and keep a lookout for provisions they got to have some inside this mountain we caved

them in i think we already cut off they're eating those mushrooms i think we got to have something else for the i think they got to have something else for the captains. Probably. Some luxury goods. But we've already let them. They're eating those. They can't get at them no more. You're right, Jimmer.

But we've got to keep them. Yeah, but you're right. There's something to keep an eye out for. What about keeping one of them alive? What about taking one of them? And doing what? And getting the information we need. We still don't even know who's leading them in this mountain.

Yes, that could be wise. This information could make all the difference. You talk about the strategy that was ahead of you. You told me at Scareguard you saw the leader with your own eyes long before you were able to strike out at her. We have to try to plan this better and maybe

it's just a matter of getting the right giant to talk. Now, I'm not going to say it's going to be easy or pretty. It's real tricky. It is. I think here in the depths of their own headquarters, that's going to be hard, especially an opponent of that size. It's going to be hard.

You're also talking about special forces here. They're not going to break easy, but in my experiences, they all break at some point. This is something distasteful for me to talk about because I am the sheriff of True Now and I uphold the law. But I need to know from each of you and Thune. Yes? From each of you and Thune. Yes? What are your thoughts on torture?

To get the information we need to save the small folk of this place. We might have to. You said yourself they were special forces and they would be hard to crack. I don't like the idea of making a man, woman, child, any living creature feel pain they don't have to but we might need to know what happens in order to save the day just to be clear are you suggesting we torture children no i'm all for oh well you know that is what i heard if that's the case i'm all for it right let it be known said we shall torture the children i'll follow you into any torture chamber filled with children you like. You know what, Metra?

Dalgris said you were a real wet sponge, but I think you're pretty funny. I think I'm quite the cut-up. Yeah. Speaking of cutting, should we perhaps take a token of our victory with us? And Metra points at the dead trainer. His head might be a convincing bit of memorabilia uh but it's a bit bulky maybe just an eye do you mean the frost giant in the other room the megas you could you metaphorically point we can go i'm mad at

for you i'm gonna say that way we're gonna have to go back that way right because that's for that oh yeah yeah yeah oh yeah right you have to fight six fire giants and six hellhounds. There are two options in front of us. I mean, there's three, which is just go all out and kill that patrol, but that's not on the table, I don't think. No, we're not doing that. The options are either you waste some of your precious time in that cloak, or Dalgrith, and or me.

I can't stealth as good as you. And Metra. Metra can stealth too, that's right. I live in the shadows. We can go follow them with the rest of us behind, especially Jimmer, who is mighty, but mighty loud. It's tough. I feel like scouting is the way to go,

but I don't want to split us up too much in case we get caught in something we weren't expecting. Well, let's just wait them out and then we can follow them along. You think they'll take a roundabout and come back here? Yeah, I think we'll just see. They can't go much further back the way we've gone.

Oh, is that what happened? I thought when you said they left the way we came in, I thought the way we came in last night. You came from the north. They went out. Yeah. You came from the north. They went out the north. They went out the north. We gotta follow them now.

Oh yeah. They might be going further past the Portcullis. So we should just go. I can also scout with you, Dalgrith. I'm quite imperceptible in the shadows. Does anyone have any ability to make Jimmer a bit quieter?

No, I know you're the best at that, but... I can cast silence on him if he's willing. That's pretty good. Yeah, I ain't got much to say normally anyway. So willingly, let's do it when we get closer. Hold on, let me see the duration it'll last 13 minutes that's a good long time so let's just start moving right you stay behind us so you stay i'll say in the back you just gotta say 25 feet back yeah and then you know i think

mechanically at least that's gonna give you and then it makes sense for you and thun to be up front because you're both melee fighters and you gotta go up in their grill. Yeah. Alright, cool. Also, Metra, if you have one, do a little invisibility on old Dogwraith Deathbringer. And he points at himself with two thumbs. He's got two thumbs and is in powerful need of being invisible. Yeah, I mean

yeah. I mean, that's the thing. It's like you can make me invisible and I could go far ahead myself and then come back. Let's not split the party for now. Or vice versa. But stay close. Yes, splitting the party would be unwise against these opponents. Should you get caught.

I think you should well remember. Master Thun. Yes. Yes. Well, let's do this damn thing. Let's do this. Moving forward. All right.

So we all basically, the four of us, go and Jimmer is silent 25 feet behind us. Yep. Do you need off-episode healing before we leave? Yes. Okay, let's do it. Even after the rest of them still live. Let's do off-episode healing real quick. All right.

So you guys are good. And you're going to move forward with Jimmer 25 feet behind. Yeah. To keep his noise from alerting patrols. He's got no noise. He's got no noise. It's to protect us from being in his silence. Yeah.

Silence. Correct. Okay. And how long does silence last? Hours? 13 minutes. 13 minutes. All right.

So you're waiting to get back to the edge of that room and then you're going to start hauling ass. And you know now if you take a right, because Metro's already scoped that area, it's just a dead end. So you're going to get there and take the left. Yep. And haul ass. The talks. Okay. Well, we can't haul ass and stealth.

We're just going to have to stealth. Stealth ass. That 13 minutes will go quick. That's why I'm just going to have to stealth. Stealth ass. That 13 minutes will go quick. That's why I'm asking. Yeah. So I have another spell. I can recast it at 12 minutes, 30 seconds. I have a stopwatch.

All right. So you walk through there, and I assume that you're being careful as you go, making sure that you're not running right into the back of that patrol. So you continue north the way Metra has already scouted. Eventually, you get to the fork again, and you know now to go left. No reason to go to that dead end. Although she didn't roll perception. No time.

You keep moving. You son of a bitch. Along that way. A giant ancient dragon's treasure trove, which has not been opened for a thousand years. We only have 13 minutes. We could head over there. Let's swing back. Just check it out.

You know it's very far. You keep going. You know it's very far and full of treasure. Let's everybody roll a stealth check, including Thune, who had a cracked 20, but instead gets a 26. G-C-P! You rolled a natty 20? Natty 20. Look what I rolled, yeah.

42. Oh, come on, man. 23. What about Barone? 18. Come on, dude! Three on the die. Three on the die.

I'm good at stealth. So you're all like... This is a perfect Joe natural 20. It's like meaningless. I got spurs that jingle jangle. Baron drops his gun at five. Baron, twang! Was that an 18?

Sounds like, yeah, a golden eye. It hits the touch AC of the wall up ahead and it dies. You get a grip point back. Yeah! It hits the touch AC of the wall up ahead and it dies. You get a grip point back. Yeah. Rolling that over, you're going through these caverns, this cavern rather. You're going through this tunnel and it's very twisty here. And again, you're getting a little turned around. You're welcome to roll survival to kind of get a sense of which direction you're going.

Is it twisty like, oh, we're curving at a slow curve for a long time. And then curving the other way. It's not like quick little curves. It's long, sweet, or gross. It's really hard to get your bearings. Probably dungeoneering rather than survival. Yeah, dungeoneering would be good. 16 survival, my dungeoneering will be

a 20 dungeoneering. Okay. 24. Damn it. I'm sorry, 20. He's so good. All right, so 220s in dungeoneering. Okay. 24. Damn it. I'm sorry, 20. He's so good. All right, so 220s in Dungeoneering. You eventually, you see a fork up ahead.

You listen quietly. You don't hear anything. But the fork goes to your left and your right. It appears as if if you went to the left with a 20-dungeon earring, you're going to kind of turn back the way you're coming, just coming from another side. And you've already been kind of in that direction, but you have no idea where that's going to lead. Because remember, Metra scouted over there,

got to a room with, like, it looked like there were things sniffing about, dogs, and you're like, ah, fuck that, let's go the other way. I'm not saying it leads directly to there, but you get the sense from your general direction. It lands in that direction. You're going to kind of eventually, if it loops back on itself, it's going to loop back that way. So, yeah, Baron and Dogwraith are just like kind of whispering up in front of everybody. Oh, the secrets are no fun. I say we go right.

This looks like it's going to loop back around to the hounds. Let's go to the right I agree You move to the right Stop dropping your gun It's like every 50 feet It's like Sorry Sorry

Is this an episode of Hee Haw or Giant Slayer? I'm not sure what's happening Big shirtless rods Let's go full moon You take the right And you continue forward It's not long before it splits again And

This is really your options here It looks like they're both going in the same direction. One is kind of trailing off to your right, and the other one is, like, forward. Do they appear to be at the same rate of incline? Yes. Quick Dungeoneero. I'll do a Perception.

And I'll do a survival for tracks. See what kind of track. Oh yeah, crushed it. Fuck yeah. 20. 23. It's perception. Dungeoneering. 20. What are you looking for with the perception?

If I'm hearing anything, if I see any signs of... And you rolled a 23 you said? 23 perception. What'd you roll for survival, you said? Yeah. 23 perception. What'd you roll for survival, Joe? 17. 17, okay. You do see some tracks, but they're too jumbled to tell

where the majority of the tracks are going. With a 17. Where are the minority of the tracks going? In fact, they're your tracks. Oh, it seems there's five small travelers in here. This doesn't add up at all. First ones I saw. They must have been captured.

Wait, prisoners. They underrated our fate. There's five medium humanoids working for them. And Baron, what were you trying to gauge With your dungeoneering? Because this is all new territory for you now I'm trying to gauge based on How I generally understand dungeons To be laid out where the tactical area Would be

Is essentially what I'm looking for It's hard to tell because these caverns are All over the place You do feel that The one that looks like it's forward is progressing further and deeper into the mountain. However, there's no reason to think the one to that's kind of slightly off to the right isn't doing the same thing. However, Metra, you hear with your perception not far up the one to the right. Oh.

just sounds of rocks being thrown something like practice again something hitting rocks hammering it's like a hammer no no it sounds like intermittent sounds of like rock something something hitting rock but this doesn't sound like metal hitting rock? Maybe metal. Do we hear sparks? You don't hear sparks. You just hear the sound of rock getting hit and crumbling to the right. Whereas forward, you don't hear anything. The rock's in trouble. Can I help him?

Help me! Can I do a perception? The rock would never be able to do it. I actually want to do like, you can roll it into one or you can make it three separate. Okay. I want to look for secret doors. I'd like you to roll three separate tricks. No, go ahead. Look for secret doors, sense any opponents using stealth, and also look for traps.

Okay. One check or multiple? Give me the stone cutting check. 37. You don't see any secret doors All your allies are using stealth What was the third thing? I'm looking for enemies And I just want to look for traps

Traps, okay That is a 29 Jimmer has huge traps He's been working out That is a 29. Jimmer has huge traps. He's been working out. You don't want to put your hand too close, because they might bite. Snatch, clean, pull, baby.

God, those traps are poison. Those traps are poison. Maybe now would be the time to use a cloak of etherealness. I love it. Oh, I have Dalgrith go invisible. And he widens his eyes again and for it come on come on do you know how troy feels about about the spells that last how long are we from when we left uh at this point you you need to do another silence all right so i'm pretty far hold off i'll hold on why i do i'll take the cloak of ethereal and suffer a spin i'll come back and then we can turn we'll put down the nail. Spike.

Spike. The spike nail. Spiked beagle. All right. So you're going to spike it right here just to be safe. Why leave yourself out in the open? Wait. Do we know this item inside and out?

We know that we can just jam it in and it just works and then turn it off and on and off it will? Just pull it up because I had a feeling we were going to do this. Okay. Yes. When hammered into place, this nine inch iron spike spike creates an illusion, blah, blah, blah. What's the blah, blah, blah? Up to 15 feet high and 15 feet down. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

We're fine. The illusion can be one of the following. A small hillock of appropriate composition for the terrain. A pile of mundane crates or barrels. A mound of rubble or a small structure. The exact size and specific parameters are chosen when the spike is placed, interact, blah, blah, blah.

Hammering the spike into place or removing it is a full round action. The spike can be used any number of times and its effects last until removed. Oh, okay. Boom. There you go. Last sentence seals the deal.

That's right. All right, Metro. Good luck. Good luck. All right, Metro. You start. Minute one. My idea is to go to where the sound is and see what the sound is.

You want to follow the sound? Yeah. Okay. You go ethereal, and you follow the sound. You move forward through the tunnel, and it's not long before those sounds pick up again. Now they sound closer, closer. Those sounds pick up again.

Now they sound closer, closer. And you see up ahead the cavern opens up and chunks of rock are sort of exploding out in front of you as the tunnel opens up into what appears to be a pretty long cavern containing a reconstruction of a human-style castle wall with a turreted gate. In front of the tall castle wall is what appears to be some sort of slope, like a short slope leading down into a wide moat filled with dirty-looking water. There's a ramp of crushed stone extending into the moat, stopping short of the castle door,

like a drawbridge that leads down to stone steps. If you were like, I'm just going to walk up those steps and into the drawbridge, you could do that, but there's a door blocking where the drawbridge is. You see dozens of short spears, many of them bent, broken, or even bloody, lying strewn about the floor.

One hits the wall up ahead, and you see that short spears are just flying from somewhere on the other side of the castle. And they're being fired at two fire giants who are strategically trying trying to storm the castle and they're covered in blood one of them is like on the ground and he's pulling a short spear out of his leg jesus and then like talking to the other one and they're like trying to storm the castle this is like straight up navy seal training yeah this. They don't even give a shit if you get hurt. Yeah. That's what I think as well. Although, I mean, is there a small possibility that there were previous residents of this volcano? Stop it.

Those guys throwing the spears are in front of the poop room, man. This is all a show. Don't knock the poop room. I didn't knock the poop room. I'm just saying it's a show. It's a sham. But this is real the injuries are real these guys are really training for this and i think if they die doing

it they're gonna be like oh that sucks but they weren't strong enough right could i do a quick reception to see if i see where how many people are throwing spears sure you want to see the map do i oh here comes the fucking app. Look at that. What? That water does not look dirty. How in the world? It looks like a delightful spa. It looks like the Caribbean. It honestly looks like a place if you went in it, you'd regain hit points.

Yeah. Yeah. You should try it. So there are two giants on the outside, and every so often, one spear comes out, and sometimes two spears come out, but you don't see the source of the spears because the castle wall appears to be like 30 feet high and these are coming from way back on the other side. Okay. Cool. I won't waste any time then and I will head back to report to the others.

Okay. Grant is indicating that I should roll perception. Troy seemed to intimate that I shouldn't roll perception. I asked if I could. Did I is indicating that I should roll perception. Troy seemed to intimate that I shouldn't roll perception. I asked if I could. Did I? No, you can roll perception. Then I will.

Yeah. 31. 31. Were you looking for anything in particular? Source of the spheres, any weak points into the castle.

Yeah, I mean, there's that drawbridge, which is down, but there still looks to be a door there that's closed. Is the cavern large enough that we could fly up over the side of the castle? Mm-hmm. Yeah, there's space between the top of the castle wall and the ceiling. However, you don't know what's on the other side.

Okay, I return back to the others. Okay, you return back to the others. Okay, you return back to the others. And I describe what I... How much of the cloak did we use? Good question. You used... Ready for this? Don't roll a d10.

How about 1d4? 12 minutes. It's only 10 minutes. You owe me two minutes. Samar, no, I rolled 2D6. Wait, how much is the maximum? It's 12? You rolled boxcars?

You rolled 2D6? Son of a bitch! How many is it? 10. 10 minutes. 10? All right, I stand by it. Oh, come on.

No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. That's amazing. You used seven minutes. All right. That that's crazy that's a lot um well if we want to storm the castle we could do an invisibility fly over the over the wall kind of endeavor i got my oh come on i got my broom of visibility over the wall that sounds so fucking awesome you got your what grant is that possible I got my broom of flying so you can save on a spell to make me fly.

Two of us could be on there, right? Yeah. Well, up to a certain weight. You probably are pretty heavy, Jimmer. You could send the two dwarves on the broom. Come on with this. This is amazing. We're going to fly to the other side of the wall.

It'll be expensive. Paratrooper behind the lines. And take out the Spearman? Operation Market Garden, which was a notorious disaster for the Allies. Never mind. Up to 400 pounds. Forget I mentioned it. Up to 400 pounds.

I think with my gear, let me look up how much away. I'm carrying... I'm about 200 pounds. There's fire giants. I'm 185 pounds, but then I got gear. It's going to be a ton. Do you weigh 185 pounds? Actually, no. I'm wearing light armor.

I'm carrying light weapons. I think we can... Eat a salad once in a while. Do you have like a... He's a very sterile dwarf. I'm telling you, I'll go invisible. I'll run through Do you have like a... He's a very steric dwarf! I'm telling you, I'll go invisible. I'll run through the wall myself

like a cannonball. Do you know the spell I used in Morrowind, Skyrim, and Oblivion all the time at low levels? No, I don't know what spell you used when you played Morrowind 15 years ago.

I know. No, it's the ant hole. But I won't tell! It's a spell that lets you carry. Oh, yes. because in those games you want to pick up everything yeah and it's five minutes into a dungeon you like way too much and you're over in comfort yeah i would only do that when i like i was ready to go back i would do it because sometimes you couldn't fast travel if you were overburdened right right so i would like fast travel this is embarrassing i would straight up like take what i could run to the end drop it outside run back in take what i could drop it outside

it would take me like an hour why i gotta sell all these steel boots like it's just so stupid do you enjoy playing video games i do i enjoyed that hour like i enjoyed it i don't know why something's wrong with me. When I watch you play video games, it seems like the least enjoyable thing you've ever done. No. No. I love it. I love being angry.

That's the thing. All right. I can... We can... There are five of us. I can... It's going to be expensive, spell-wise, but I can make us all invisible. I think it's so worth it. I mean... And what's the goal? To go... Over over the wall all of us over the wall and then well if you go over

you'll see what you see and then you can make your decisions yeah i think the idea the idea is to infiltrate and well we could probably couldn't we scout it invisibly somebody flying over that's what i'm saying one person one person but then come back we could do invisibility to my only fear is that it is the same as the other room we saw and there's nothing beyond that wall. But there's

someone back there throwing a wall. Yeah, but maybe that's it. Yeah, but if we go in and fight the fire giants in front, we're going to have

spears thrown at us the whole time. Right. Yeah. And granted, they might never hit. But that's why I think it's wise to just send

one person first. The other option is rather than going all invisible, I could drop the area into a deeper darkness. But then they'd know something was up. They'd know something was up. So let's send one person.

Metra. All right, give me the broom. Sheriff. All right. I'll come back with it. I'm happy to give you the broom. Metra, we're trusting you to bring this broom back to us. Now, don't go flying out of the mountain.

While you're in there, clean it up a little. It's a dusty room. I've swept many a step with this broom, Metro. It only flies. We have yet to use this broom for its intended purpose, which is sweeping up. It only flies if it cleans every once in a while. Alright, so I'll make myself invisible and I

will hop on the broom and fly over the wall. Alright, so you make yourself invisible. As she vanishes and disappears, Dalgrith just turns to Baron and he's like, She gets to do all the fun stuff. I think you get to do some pretty fun stuff, Daggereth.

I'm jealous of what you can do. You're a vexing dodger. You know what? You need to look at yourself in the morning and say something nice to yourself. Daggereth is nodding. He's like, this is good. You're very talented, and I appreciate your company. All right.

Yes, I'm ready to go. Anyway, meanwhile. He's gassing up. How long does your invis last? I need a good Baron peptide. 13 minutes. 13 minutes. All right, so your goal is to fly over there, meanwhile. He's gassing up. How long does your invis last? I need a good Baron pep talk. 13 minutes. 13 minutes. All right, so your goal is to fly over there, recon, and then you decide what you want to do. All right, so again, you jump on that broom, you go invisible, you get into that room,

and these fire giants, they're beat up, but they're trying to find a way in. One of them is now in the moat, and he is up to his neck, sliding through the moat. Through the water. And spears are coming over and just missing him, while the other one is rushing straight at the door. But you fly over all of this, and as you do,

you see the other side of the wall. Oh. Oh, we got a lieutenant. Ooh. More giants, I knew it. And so on this side of the wall, you see a lieutenant and another fire giant. And they are holding these large, heavy crossbows. That are shooting short spears.

I had a feeling that might be the case. They're using them as ballistas. Wow. And the lieutenant is loading, helping to load the fire giants. So he doesn't have to take a move action to reload every single time. So he's helping to load it and then firing. And then sometimes he'll just fire at the same time and they'll stagger their movements. And you see all that.

And then you see that the cavern exits out the other side. All right. That's all you say. I come back. And we're going to do a little dimension door. Yeah. Right behind. Take him out.

Take out that ballista. You can keep. One of us can keep firing that ballista at the guys coming in. They won't be able to get in, man. I don't think so. It's a large. You guys are never going to get in. You're never going to get into the castle.

Oh, we can resize that crossbow and a bunch of javelins and shoot tiny javelins, which are basically crossbow bolts. Cue, cue, cue, cue. You could also get a crossbow, though, right? No. Sure. We need the tiny javelins. A cue.

All right. So, what's your plan? Am I still invisible? How long has it been? Yeah, you went over there. You found this out. You came back. You got eight minutes of invisibility.

The broom pops out of the invisibility as she hands it back to Baron. Holy shit. I quickly describe the scene. Everyone grab hold. We grab on. Oh, and I cast darkness on a piece of my... Yeah! Yeah.

Awesome. On a rock that I hold in my hand. How fucking terrifying. Okay. And this is really like... The Navy SEALs wish they could do shit like this. Sam Fisher ain't got shit on me. All right.

So you're going to do the same exact thing, but instead just... Dimension door. Oh, dimensionension Door. No broom. And where do you want to end up? Let me place you on the map. On the 300 maps in book five, I have all of the pieces ready to go.

Dimension Door, I'm just not familiar with it. So it has a super long range and... 400 feet. 400 feet plus 40 feet per level. Wow. And you can just... I have to visualize the area. You know what I'm confusing it with?

Was it Galabras that had... Was that dimensional steps? Dimensional steps, yes. So that was a certain amount of feet per day. Yeah, yeah. And Pembroke had it, too. Pembroke had it, too. Okay.

So this isn't feet per day. This is feet per casting. Per casting. Yeah, it's a fourth-level spell. It's a spell. Like, he's casting a spell. So you have, like, 800-plus feet that you can move in one shot. It's like 920.

Yeah. Wow. 40 feet for what am I? Yeah. So. Wow. That's awesome. You can, you can, whether you, you always arrive at exactly the spot desired, whether

by simply visualizing the visualizing the area or by stating direction. That's cool. And that always arriving thing makes sense with the limitation of distance versus like a teleport with the rule of chance. Yeah. And all the creatures must be in contact with one another. Actually, that's, oh, I don't have to be in contact with them. Oh, yeah.

As long as we can all touch each other. Everyone's touching someone. Yeah. You can do like a chain. Yeah. Oh, that's cool. Hands across America. That's actually

really useful it's good to know um all right uh so you feel metro will invisibly position you in the optimal how do we want to be optimally positioned yes you want to put jimmer and dog wreath on one or jimmer and thun on or thun and dog wreath on one jimmer and dog wreath on the lieutenant and Baron closer to the other fire giant. That's fine. Because he'll take out the other fire giant in one round. No doubt about it. Right next to the lieutenant.

I'm going to move us right here. Oh my god. How do you feel about that? It's such a weird little chain. We're all like Lincoln arms. Thun and Dalgr arms right next to each other can we talk about this jimmer and then metro and then it comes back down to you actually i think that works you offered your opinion i think that works uh and uh that we're gonna say is your

surprise round however everyone including the newly leveled dune gets their actual surprise round roll for initiative oh my god oh this is a time for a high one because I really need it. I don't think Grant rolled what he wanted to roll. Doesn't sound like Grant rolled well. I've been rolling just absolute garbage for like three weeks. Well, no.

Two weeks ago, I rolled rocks. Grant, do we have anyone with us with sabi kicks? Last week, you were awful. Two weeks ago, you were crushing. Two weeks ago you were crushing it. Yeah, crushing it. Multiple crits. I don't know why. All right.

Dogwraith is in good position, and I'm happy with my initiative. I'll say that. Let's talk initiative. What do you got? I got a 24. And I'm really hoping that the lieutenant doesn't, because if he doesn't, then he might die before he kills me. I should probably describe how we ended up. So we put

Foon and Dogwrith right behind the lieutenant. Right up in his grill. Jimmer is a five foot step away and we're kind of in like a little parabola and Metro's at the tip of the apex and then Baron's next to Metro. It's a very interesting placement.

Keep Metro and Baron out of the reach of this giant in case he gets a full attack action off on us. Mettra, what'd you get for initial? 21. 21? Baron? Goddamn 16. Minimum.

Matty won Zoni. Matty won Zoni. Jimbo? 17. 17 for Jimmer. Okay. Surprise round for everyone but Mettra. Starts with Dal Jimmer. Okay. Surprise round for everyone but Metro. Starts with Dalgrith.

Okay. Flat-footed fire giant lieutenant. He just appears in this spot, sees an immediate weakness in the giant. Only because he has dark vision. Only because he has dark vision. And he's going to take a stab. Oh, shit. Damn it. Oh, come on. Thought about using stab. Oh, shit. Damn it.

Oh, come on. Thought about using my bottle cap, too. 25 to hit. Hits exactly. Yeah. Oh, so lucky. Yeah. Oh, my goodness.

So, I'm known for my luck. There's one thing you're known for. You left out an adjective. I had, by the way, a spectacular Spectacular roll 43 points Holy shit Multiple sixes

Multiple fives Imagine going about your day Launching some spears over the castle wall All of a sudden the short sword just stabs you in the ribs All of a sudden pitch black in your femoral artery. I don't care how badass you are. That has to be terrifying. Do they get through? Do they get through? I didn't see them get through.

We'll skip Metro and go right to Jimmer. Come on, Jim. This is the surprise round? Jimmer for Matt. Move or stand. He's too far away. He's going to... You can always take a five foot stepmer, like he's too far away, so he's going to... You can always take a five-foot step or no.

I mean, that's a free action, right? I think a five-foot step is a free action. It is a free action. I believe it is. Yeah, actually, that's true. All right, so I'm going to take a five-foot step and then do just one attack, right? All right, yeah. So I'm going to take one stab with Terminus Est, and that is a 29.

That is a hit. Oh, my God. I'm going to kill the lieutenant and surprise her. That's what I'm saying, dude. Oh, wow. That is 33 points of damage. Oh, baby. He's already down 70. 70. Baron, you're going to go before Thun. Oh, baby. He's already down 70! 70!

Baron, you're going to go before Thune. Now, you don't have the clearest shot, but you're still shooting against Touch AC against the giant. I mean, unless he shoots the other one. I could shoot the other one to draw him towards me and away from those guys. But we're in darkness, so he's not going to know. So I think I'll scare the shit out of this guy and shoot at him. So, Metro, you've created darkness around yourself. Yes.

Okay. And that is a 20-foot radius. 20-foot radius. Let me get that. So the other giant's not in darkness. No, but we are. But the lieutenant is, yeah. That's a 29 against Touch AC.

Yes, that is a definite hit. That is 29 points of damage. Ouch. Ouch, indeed. Okay, that was your action, so now it is Thune's action, and because this giant is flat-footed, if he hits, he'll get to try out his new 3d6 worth of sticky detectives. Come on, Thune.

Come on, Thune. Critical threat, natty 19. Do it for Thune. Miss. No.une. Miss. No. Miss. I rolled a Natty 7. Fucking Thune, man.

He was so excited to play Thune. That is the end of the surprise round. It is now round one, and it is Dalgrif. Yeah. Death. I'm captured. Bring that death, baby. He is Dalgrith.

Is he still considered flat-footed because he hasn't acted yet, or because the surprise round happened? Both. And he's in darkness. Well, he's flat-footed and he's in darkness. Yeah, he's essentially blind to me, so yeah, it's gross. It's gross for him. It's gross.

Now that it's the regular round, I'm going to click my heels and get haste. Haste myself. I'm calling a crit. Oh, you called it, dude. I'm going to click my heels and get haste. Haste myself. I'm calling a crit. Oh, you called it? I'm calling a crit. All right, here we go. Points to this guy. Here we go.

Points to the bleachers. First attack. Wriggly. It's less than a crit. Nope. He's got multiple attacks. Fuck. 22 to hit.

Miss. Is a miss. Come on, Dog Wreath. Come on, buddy. You can see in the dark, brother. Second attack. 26. There you go.

That will be it. There we go. Ooh, I see the GCP logo. That is... 40. Exactly. Wow. 40.

Damn it. Holy shit. Damn, dude. And then last attack. Oh, damn it. 23. Just shot. But wait a minute.

No, no, no. 25 because he's a giant and it's Bane. Giant Bane. 25. That's a hit. Yeah, exactly. Oh, wow. Whoa.

That's a shocking amount of ones. Oh, my God. Why don't you just call it an amount of ones? Jeez. That is 29 points of damage. All right, okay. That's it. That's it?

That's it. Now he's got to die before he goes. They come to the table with a lot of HP, but it is Metra's turn. Oh, I didn't think I was going to go that fast. You're up. Okay. Let us do a little bit of this Ray. So I'm going to roll against the other giant.

Ray Liotta? Not Ray Liotta. All right. Shocking Ray Liotta. 26. Shocking Ray Liotta. 26 against touch. Shocking Ray of Frost.

That is a hit. Okay, roll a four to save for me. Rollocking Ray of Frost. That is a hit. Okay, roll a fortitude save for me. All right, they got great fortitude. Garbage roll 22. Okay, so you succeed. So this gets reduced by half. So this is a ray of enfeeblement. Oh, that's still great.

So you're going to take a penalty to strength equal to 1d6 plus 1 per 2 caster levels. So that's 1d6 plus 6. Are you kidding me? Come on, roll a 6, dude. Holy shit. 4. Wow. So a minus 10 to strength.

Well, you succeeded, so no. Minus 5 to strength. Still minus 5 to strength. Yeah, minus 5. Because you succeeded, you're 4 to safe. That's amazing. Wow. Oh my god.

Where is this bit? It's the first little spell i whip it out every now and then every now and then and wait uh it's first level you can get plus six it doesn't tap out that's good top out at any point i bet you it does it's like pure light plus five yeah you're right it does 1d6 plus 5 Ah So you Oh, that's a big difference That's 4 4 Actually, no, it's no difference at all

Because it divides Oh He succeeded on a 6 No, no, no No, but you rolled a 4 I rolled a 4 Plus 5 is 9 Halved is minus 4 strength

Yeah Yeah, okay Alright, so a Minus ability damage, yes? Yeah Wow, that really It's a penalty Penalty Penalty.

Penalty. That really hurt mine to hit, I must say. I must say. I don't like it. Do you want to move at all? Metro, take a five-foot step. You're a five-foot step. Jimmer.

Jimmer is... All right, so he's just kind of in the edge of the darkness here, but... Oh, that's right. Oh, I shouldn't have moved. Yeah, you cannot move. I won't move. All right, so he's going well, but he doesn't want to step,

make more than a five-foot step anyway so he doesn't lose his full attack. So he's going to take a five-foot step to get a little bit further around this lieutenant and then maybe get either Thun or Dalgrit the chance to fully flank him on the next turn. And he's going to unleash

the full fury of the ancient sword Terminus S on this creature. First attack is a 35 to hit. That is a hit. Question, are you affected by the darkness? No, I have the goggles. You've got the goggles, right? That's what I thought. I forget it every time. So is a hit. Question, are you affected by the darkness? No, I have the goggles.

You've got the goggles, right? Yeah. That's what I thought. I forget it every time. So does Skid. Yeah. 30 damage on the first attack. 30 damage on the first attack.

Okay. Second attack is a netty 16. Oh, still in the middle. Just short of a crit. And that is 27 damage. That's enough to take out the fire giant Oh yeah It's like less than 12 seconds The fire giant lieutenant is dead

Never got to act Never even got to act How we do it And now it's Baron's turn And he could just light up this guy however you've already alerted the other giants that something else is going on because they unless the silence is still active did you do the second round burn i did not oh yeah uh wait a minute i didn't want to affect you so all every one of these fire giants rolled lower initiative than

all of us yeah wow i told you that's why I kind of tipped my hand. I said I've been rolling garbage. Oh, yeah. I rolled like a one for initiative two. Oh, God. And some of them get a minus to their initiative. That's one of my most frustrating things as a GM is low initiative. Yeah.

Just like, oh, God, I can't get my plans in order. I'm fine with it. I'm fine with it. I just feel like a 19 or a 20, Troy. Let's see it. A 12. So that's a hit with a 19 or a 20, Troy. Let's see it. A 12. So that's a hit with a 28 against a touch. And again, no penalty for you shooting out of the darkness.

And why is it touch AC? Considering how far away you are? I'm 35 feet away, if you measure. Is this always now your 40 feet? Is that? Yep. Okay. 27 points of damage.

Okay, good opening shot. Look at it, Troy. Look at it. A good opening shot Look at it, Troy Look at it Look at it A natural 20 Look at it Oh, man Animal I felt it

I knew it was coming It was like reaching into a bag Like a hat with a bunch of names You thought it was I knew there was a 20 I thought it was the first one It's the second one Oh, boy

I thought it was dog wraith But you're a fool It's barren 19 to confirm That is a confirm It's against Touch AC, so? Yeah, that's a confirm. Correct.

Oh, my gosh. All right. Let's kick this one over to, oh, International Edition. International. Prep, prep, prep. Mark from Belfast, Northern Ireland. Anastarian. Lucky for some is the title.

Your luck is undeniable That is true Double damage, quadruple damage And roll a d20 If you roll a 7 Your projectile exits the target Ricochets and hits one of the target's allies for normal damage No matter where they are on the map

Even if it makes no logistical sense Whatsoever You're just that lucky He wrote it in the description So if you roll a 7 it bounces and flies over and hits one of the other guys If it makes no logistical sense whatsoever, you're just that lucky. Wow. He wrote it in the description. So if you roll a seven, it bounces and flies over and hits one of the other guys. Wow. I love that he wrote out that it makes no logistical sense.

I kind of appreciate that. I'm a little bit out of it. Hey, if you want to use a bottle cap, I'll let you use it as a plus or minus six. 18. Oh, he rolls too high. Always. That's funny. Oh, he rolls too high. Always. That's funny. Oh, no, it's just quadruple damage.

Oh, no. He's stuck with just quadruple damage. I hate my life. It's the worst. All right, here we go. We're talking about 85 points. Oh, my God. He is dead. Yes, he is. Oh, my God. He is dead.

Yes, he is. Yes, he is. He never really got to feel how weakened he was. I'm disappointed because it wasn't 105. Troy, could you just give us a moment in his final moments where you can role play his enfeeblement? Yeah. Would you mind? Well, in all honesty, his 31 strikes just went down to a 27.

Oh, wow. So for him, it was just like, I feel like I got mono. I feel like I'm out to week six. What is he, Sam Darnold? Yeah, that could debilitate someone. All right, this is a very interesting situation you have here. From where you're standing, you cannot see what's happening with the giants. You knew that one was in the water trying to storm the castle,

and one was making its way to the drawbridge. They heard four sounds. Three or three sounds. They don't... Maybe they don't know what they are. You don't know. You see stairways on either side leading up to, like, a walkway

that is still hidden behind the wall. The walkway is only about 20 feet off the ground, so that southern castle wall that's 30 feet up that is still hidden behind the wall. The walkway is only about 20 feet off the ground. So that southern castle wall that's 30 feet up would provide you with a 10-foot wall. You know what I'm saying? Where they still wouldn't be able to see you at your height. But it helps them. Let's stay in initiative order.

Or order. Let's stay in initiative order here. It is Thun's turn. Thun looks to you. Sheriff Thun, what should I do? I think we need to wait to see if Metra has a way to seal off that door

so we can keep on pressing our advantage. If we stop them, this is a castle wall designed to impel invaders. It's strengthened in any way we can get further in. But what about those?

And he points up at the walkway, and you see like three... Dragons. Three dragons. Chromatic? Yes. Chromatic dragons. But what about those ancient chromatic dragons?

Oh, man. Thank you for pointing those out. I didn't see those at all. And we'll see you next week. Wow. Oh, man. What? Oh, Metro felt a perception check.

Oh, my God. That's amazing. You flew over, scoped it out, looked around, and missed three dragons. They were at the ceiling. You never said you looked up. You see, like, so from where you guys are standing, between those two fire giants was another door. So there's the outer door where the drawbridge is, and then there's an inner door right in the middle of where those fire jams are. Like a castle.

Yeah, like a castle. Totally. Two ways. However, up on that walkway, Thune is pointing at three cauldrons. Oh, right. Like the oil you would pour down onto people as they rush in. So let's arm those cauldrons. Let's head up onto the ramparts.

So he says, what should I do? What about those? Scramble up there. Take the middle one, Thune. We'll get the ones on the side. All right, I'll double move. You know, we've been working on climbing, all that training we've had time to do. So get yourself up that wall.

All right. Prove yourself! Stop! Don't yell! He slaps him in the face. All right, then. Thun can get there in a double move. So Thun moves to the middle cauldron. Great. It's a lot faster than climbing.

So the cauldrons are facing. You're supposed to dump them outward. You could dump them outward. If they were to breach the wall, you could get them in that small little enclosed space. As soon as they come through the door, you dump the cauldron in hot oil. They call them kill holes? What do they call that area? Murder holes. Murder holes. they come through the door, you dump the cauldron in hot oil. They call them kill holes? What do they call that area? Murder holes. Murder holes. Aren't the murder holes where you shoot the arrows through?

They are. Yeah, they are. That's, yeah. But they're, murder holes are where you shoot the arrows through. Yeah. And you do see murder holes and that's probably where they were shooting these crossbows that they turned into ballistas. And they've both had these crossbows in their hands,

and you notice that they're magical. Let's move on from Thun to... Well, let's just move on to Dalgrith. That's all you know. Oh, right. So Thun is manning one right now. Yep. And there's another one... over to the left, or... There's one one right now. Yep. And there's another one over to the left.

There's one in the middle. Okay. They're basically all next to each other, overlooking this middle entryway between the outer door and the inner door. Well, then Dalgrith is going to just run up there. Okay. And he's going to use another round of haste to get there in a double move. Okay.

You're going to want to be on the other side of it so you can actually tip it towards him. That's what I mean. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So double move with the haste for... He has 100 feet of movement, clicking his heels together. Great.

Metra. Metra can't get to a cauldron, but that's okay. So she's going to take the rock with the darkness on it and kind of toss it so it lands right near the doorway. So the darkness will leave, not be on her person, but will surround the doorway. So as soon as they run in, they'll be in darkness. So in the area where the cauldrons are going to potentially dump? Yeah. Nice.

Alright, so you want to try and throw it? Yeah. Over there? So AC5 to hit a square? Well, you can't see the square. You're trying to like huck it over this 10 foot... Oh no. I'm sorry, I'm going to put it right. Oh, if they were to breach the second door. Oh, is that not where I misunderstood? Yeah, no, no.

If you're dumping, you're dumping into the space between the doors. Oh, OK. Then no, I won't do that. OK, so I'll just double move up onto the ramparts. OK, great. All right. So we have Thun, Dalgrith and Metra all on the ramparts. And it is Jimmer's turn. Jimmer is going to...

If I get to where I'm standing on the map, is there a cauldron nearby there? No, the other cauldron is to the right of Dalgrith. Okay, that's fine. Jimmer's going to position himself right in front of the inner door, closest to us, in case they do get through. Okay. He's going to literally kill. That's the murder hole.

Yeah. You walk through that hole and Jimmer kills you. This murder hole is just two eye sockets. It's this empty eye, my eye, I'm missing my eye. That's the murder hole. I got Donald's eye. I got Donald's eye. You see that the door is locked and it's held in place with a stout wooden bar on your side.

So you could just unlatch it if you want to. Sure. And you also probably have a strong enough strength check. Yeah, do that as a standard action. Wait until we drop the... Yeah, but you have that option if you ever want to open it. Moving right along, it is Baron's turn. Baron is going to clack, open his gun.

Two shells pop out of the side. Clunk, clunk. He's going to clack open his gun two shells pop out of the side clunk clunk he's gonna slowly saunter 15 20 feet towards the door he's gonna use a standard action to fire one of the barrels into the ceiling it bounces off and it comes through your head dead my name's baron ashpeak and i've killed more of you than any of the small folk have. You come through that door right now, you fucking cowards. Unlock the door, Jimmer. Knock off the

bar. That's his turn. Okay. Alright, Thune readies an action. He's trying to be bait. To dump if they get through. And it is the fire giant's turn and one of them

busts through the door. And you see the other one is up on the platform behind him. In the previous round he was trying to get up and positioning himself to break through. He breaks through with ease. And as he does so, Thun dumps. You see it, by the way, all the cauldrons

have different materials in them. Thun dumps you see it by the way all the cauldrons have different materials in them Thun's has boiling water so he dumps boiling water the fire giant fails his reflex save and instead takes god eight points

of damage I rolled absolute garbage. However, it was 3d6 points of damage on a failed reflex save. Anyone who takes damage from this attack takes 1d6 points of fire damage per round for the next two rounds unless that heat is neutralized or the boiling water is washed away with cooler water or other materials. So just remember, this guy is going to keep taking damage. But they're immune to that damage, aren't they? Fire damage? It's fire damage.

Oh, yeah, you're right. Wow. That's why when you said boiling water, I was like, oh, that's useless. Yeah, that would have been better on you guys. Water isn't fire. That's true. That's true. It's water.

It's true. The problem is it says fire damage. Oh, wow. Thanks for keeping me honest. So Thune is like, I did it. Mission accomplished. Fucking nothing happened. We should have let him die.

Dalgrith is going to look in his thing. What's in there? You look in your thing. Well, it's not your turn, but I can. I thought it was. Actually, it is your turn. I knew it was. Yeah.

All right. So you look inside I doubt you have Knowledge alchemy Yeah I know But it's not Boiling water It looks like

Some sort of Chemical compound Chemical compound He's gonna push it Alright so You push You push what ends up Being a bucket of

Quick lime On there I don't know what that does That's like a fight club, you know, when they put the lime on their thing and it burns. Oh, shit. It's calcium oxide. Oh, shit.

Yeah. It's caustic. You got to hit rock bottom before you can come up. All right, so the giant has to roll a fortitude save. Again, these were things, now you're realizing this would have been a lot better on you. The giant makes his fortitude save, so he's fine, unfortunately. He's immune?

If he makes the save, there's no half damage-y sort of thing? No, if you make the initial save, the poison doesn't affect you. Had he failed, or one of you had failed, the cure is two consecutive saves, and it's 1d2 con damage, blindness, and nausea for 1d10 minutes. Holy shit. And the frequency is once per round for six rounds. I mean, that could get bad really quickly. Wow.

However, this giant is... I have a wasted round! Wasted as well. Alright, it is going to be Metra's turn now. Metra will go over to the last cauldron, also plunging the area just around the door into darkness. Okay.

This one looks like it's full of tar, so you know at this point if with free actions they're telling you It's fire damage It's not going to do anything to them However it might entangle them Oh well then okay I'll go ahead and push it over Alright so you push it over

Rolls a reflex save to try and avoid it Misses the reflex save which however Even though he won't take damage That does mean he is entangled So he's stuck in place by the tar If only you had some feathers He is in darkness So he is very scared

Darkness and tar And it is Jimmer's turn Jimmer, you're right on the other side of the barred door from this guy Alright You know, my old friend Evan is in the fight club Hi, Evan Yeah, hi, Evan. I'm going to...

So the door's not open yet, right? Right. You could attack it and slice that wood with ease, or you could wait and have somebody else do it so you can charge in and get an attack off. I'm just going to delay. Delay, okay. I'm just going to delay.

That's probably the best option for you at this point. And then it goes to Baron. Baron, you are pretty far away from the fight. Baron seeing Jimmer delay will also delay. Well, actually yeah, because

let me just see how far away that door is. Yeah, there's plenty of range for Baron to shoot at where the person is now, so he'll delay. All right, so Baron's going to delay as well. Jimmer and Baron both delay. It's that Fire Giant's turn, and he just, boom, smacks through the door. Is he entangled? He's entangled.

But he has reach. He has reach, so he's able to smack through. Being entangled impedes movement but does not prevent it. He moves at half speed, cannot run or charge, takes a minus two penalty. On attack rolls, minus four to dex, and blah, blah, blah about spell. So he can move, but it's half movement, and he's taking a penalty. However, he's so strong, with ease, he cracks open that door and rushes forward to see Jimmer standing right there.

No, he doesn't see anything. Oh, he doesn't see anything. Oh, he doesn't see anything. So he just rushes forward in the darkness and ends his turn right next to Jimmer, basically. He's a dead man. I'd like to go now. And, yeah, I think you can go. That'd be fine. All right.

I'm going to unleash the full fury of the ancient sword. Terminus S. On this poor unfortunate soul. Already injured. Poor unfortunate soul. It's a 28. First attack. Yes, that is a hit. Alright, and 32 damage. Max damage. Okay. On it. And second attack.

90-19. Critical threat! Oh, there he goes. You knew it was just a matter of time. it and second attack 90 19 critical threat oh there he goes you knew it was just a matter of time and that is to do 25 to confirm oh yeah oh yeah

all right yeah the minus four to Dex really took that AC down a little all right this one from James in Beaufort, Georgia. Georgia. Salt the wound. Your damage opens up a bleeding wound that you spit into, causing it to continue to bleed. That's just mean.

Double damage and 1d4 bleed. That sounds slow and sweet like sassafras molasses. Georgia. That's 48 damage sweet like Sassafras Molasses in Georgia. So that's 48 damage. 48 damage, okay. And then bleed on his turn. And you still have one more attack, yes? All right, and one more attack. That's another netty 18, another critical threat.

Save it, he's dead. All right. Oh, come on. I can't believe how many rolls over 17 you have with this character. I know. This is insane. I don't know if it's happened a lot before and I just haven't noticed it because it's not significant. If it's not like, you know, but yeah, it's hitting a lot.

I mean, the expanded crit range is not nothing either. It's a big thing. The other one just plunges into the darkness full speed. Okay, I'll wait for you to go. I was going to act, but... Okay, what were you going to do? I'm going to wait to see what you do.

I will. That's an amazing waste of time. You've used your delayed action. You're going to wait to see what I do. No, no, no. Come on. You doof. He to see what happens. No, no, no. Come on, you doof. He charges in and is just like, ah, and just swings right beyond where his partner fell because he feels his partner's body there. So 50% mischance against Jimmer.

First to see if I hit. I don't even think I hit. Now, 22. 24. Yeah, so he swings. Even with a mischance, has no chance to hit. Now, 22. 24. Yeah, so he swings. Even with a missed chance, has no chance to hit. Baron. Here.

Kill him. We. Go! 14 on the die. Just roll your damage at the same time. Stop and not having your dice ready for damage. 25 points damage. Okay.

Second attack. Natural one. Oh. See, that's why I always say don't roll the damage. Yeah, yeah. Natural one. Natural one. Okay.

What do you want to do here? Just take a risk? Yeah. Well, you still have to roll to confirm the fumble, which you'd probably only confirm on a natural one. 14. Okay. So, next two attacks.

Grant, it's not worth it. What do you mean, next two attacks? All right. That's not worth it. No, no. I just mean, you're not hasted, right? So, I'm rapid shot. Oh, you're rapid shot.

I wasn't rapid shot. Five attacks with haste. I didn't take the rapid shot thing, because I thought I'd misfire. Here. So, you're shooting. You for the chance to explode your gun. There it goes. Destroy your gun? He's gone.

Natural one. Oh! Oh, man! Come on, dude! That was so unnecessary! Oh, my goodness. Incredibly unnecessary. Now I've just spent all that money.

No, it's magical. It can be fixed. It can be fixed? Yes. You sure? For fear. The last one couldn magical. It can be fixed. It can be fixed? Yes. You sure? For fear. The last one couldn't. It was magical? That's because Troy decided to make it.

Oh, that's right. Fun thing. Yeah, I took it. It can be fixed. It can be fixed, but now you're in this dungeon without a gun. Grant, I have another gun. It's not Giants, Bane. We'll see you next week. Oh, I knew you were going to do that.

You ended the episode. This Giant's dead, but who cares? He's dead and around, but who cares? Holy shit, this is a Glass Cannon Network production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015. Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo. All Pathfinder images are property of Paizo and are used with permission.