The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 230 - The Bad News Stairs

Episode Date: October 22, 2019

The party is split as their staggered pursuit of a fire giant leads into an ambush! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chauncey was going to take me on a trip to the place he's from. From the producer of Megan, Five Nights at Freddy's and The Black Phone. Alice! Alice! Alice! Get out! Now. Many kids have imaginary friends. Ready or not. Just because you stop believing in them doesn't mean they're gone. Here he comes.

And they're angry you left. Imaginary. Now playing only in theaters. This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection. Free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH balancing minerals and crafted with skin conditioning oils so whether you're going for a run or just running late do what life throws your

way and smell like you didn't find secret at your nearest walmart or shoppers drug mart today this week on the glass cannon, with the party split. It is now Dalgrith's turn. You are on the Fire Giant's back. MVP. MVP. MVP. No longer a wolf, and this will probably be your last episode. This is... What would you like to do? Preposterous.

And the enemy on high alert. At that moment... Oh, yeah. Both Jimmer, Dalgrith, and Metra feel a rumbling on the ground underneath your feet. The heroes begin to abandon all hope. I don't know

if we can win this fight, Metra. But the worst has yet to come. Okay, I have another plan. There is no other plan. There is another plan. The adventure continues. Oh, God. Oh, my God.

They're falling apart at the worst time. No. Hi there, Matthew here. I have but a few things to share with you all, and then I shall humbly take my leave and yield to this week's episode. I have been asked to share the great news that the poster from the LA Glass Cannon Live! is now available both signed

and unsigned in the merch store. Also in the merch store you will find a handful of Dice and Dice sets back in stock as well. We'll be getting more of those soon. And as for other news from Glass Cannon Land, we're gearing up for the Boston show over here. Pretty pumped for that. Also, between you and me, there's a lot of exciting stuff brewing, but I'm not really allowed to talk about it.

So take up your displeasure with Troy. He loves displeasure. Anyway, I've already said too much. So please enjoy episode 230 of the Glass Cannon podcast. Happy Glass Cannon Day, everybody! Oh, I can't believe it's Glass Cannon Day already! What's the date of Glass Cannon Day? Uh, today! The 22nd of October!

Why today? That explains That explains the street fair On my main avenue this morning I had to drive around the children With their corn dogs And corn ears And everything corn

What would a glass cannon Themed street fair be like? Illegal in most states I think is the primary thing i think still corn i think there's still a lot of corn mostly corn based corn and used cars used cars used horses uh yeah no i uh i didn't i did not open it so i just wanted to say happy glass cannon day we're episode this is episode 230 it's now, it's now canon. It's now canon. October 22nd.

It's episode 230. We're 23 episodes into book five. How's everybody enjoying it so far? Be honest. Be honest, really? Yeah, be honest. It's all right. Yeah?

You don't like it? Fire Giant Fight. Fire Giant Fight. Fire Giant Fight. Fire Giant Fight. Fire Giant Fight. Fire Giant Fight. Fire Giant Fight. Fire Giant Fight. Fire Giant Fight. That's book five.

Yeah, yeah. So far. I think it's been... I think it would have been a lot more rewarding for me if I had already, like, really had a lot of time to get to know all the rest of the characters and all the characters. Like, if we'd had our same characters, if it was, like, the true now four and everyone was real established, like, this is the right time in an adventure to have a sweet dungeon crawl the twist and turns and ends.

I just want to sit down have a drink with Jimmer. We've all had off screen. The characters have had off screen time to do that, but we haven't read it. So yeah, right, right. And it's just well, I mean the trial and all that shit that was book five, right? Yeah. Well, that was awesome. Yeah.

So yeah, opened really great. That was book five, right? Yeah. Well, that was awesome. Yeah. So yeah, it opened really great. That was book five. That feels like ages ago to me. Oh, it's 23 episodes in, man. It's been a long time. Yeah, so that was really fun. And I liked, you know, initially getting in, but you know, the whole... I mean,

all the fights are the same. It's very, very similar. And there's a reason for that. For one thing, it's like you as a team, you're gelling a lot more than you have been in other iterations of the True Now. I'm sorry. No, no. I think it's good.

I mean, what do you think a volcano full of fire giants is going to be? It's going to be a lot of fire giants. And learning how to defeat them is going to be important later in the game. You know, I think if you just if every encounter was completely wildly different, you know, you're not going to learn anything early on. But it's going to change. You're really pushing a weird spin here. Yeah, I am pushing. You know, the thing is, I don't see any reason why there couldn't be five giants other than fire giants here.

Like this is a training camp for the elite of the elite. There were never elite of elite. We just fought some frost giants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I know. But why isn't there more of that? Well, also, why aren't there, like, elite, like, leveled up ettins and stuff like that, you know, in this camp? I just think from a narrative perspective, let alone a mechanical perspective, it would be neat to see these

like all this all star team of giants in this place. There are. You just didn't go down those hallways like you did see some Eddins, remember? And you skipped by that encounter. Right. Yeah. You were able to go by it. But I mean, there were stone giants that you guys didn't face.

Wow. There were other creatures altogether that you didn't face. I mean, right now, as we approach. So it's our. No, no, no, as we approach this room that Dalgrith has now stumbled into, you have passed

by at least 50% more encounters that you didn't do. It's not intended for you to complete everything in this. And, you know, I pushed it on you to keep things going because the giants, if they know you're here,

they're going to come after you. So you've had, it's only been two or three days of time as you're pushing through this mountain. But I mean, there's double the amount of encounters in the mountain so far that you will never do. I actually have less of a problem with fighting the same type of creatures because tactically there've been enough traps

and pratfalls and like a room full of statues that it's been a lot of interesting strategic positioning going on yeah the sensation i have going through the mountain feels like when i was like nine and got on my first roller coaster and it's felt like i've been going up and wanting to get off the ride because i know a drop's gonna happen and i just have this terrible terrible anxiety behind like what's gonna happen behind each door yeah because we we have been kind of that's one of the things that i've liked about it is that we've had we have gelled and we're functioning very well as a team and just the thought like i've said just this special forces navy seal unit just like going through like room to room just boom boom boom just like

knocking everybody out like real quick uh like zero dark 30 style and but yeah you know that like there's something like as soon as you feel like ultra confident that's one right the other shoe's gonna drop and it's gonna right right i guess i could also say that i i would like it more if it did have more of those elements like Like the Zero Dark Thirty thing is a great analogy, but the problem is that they're not 100%, but they're 90% sure exactly what their target is and what they're going in for. And they're using all this intel. We're just sort of running blindly deeper and deeper and deeper in with no idea who is in here or what they're doing beyond just this vague notion of

a training facility like to me that it's not as fun for me because i think that it's like withholding information for no good reason like give us a target give us a story give us something what's like we know right there's no clues we don't have a fee five foe sama bin laden we're like we know that this is who we're going after like we have some vague ideas but that's that's it right exactly and then to me like that's what we had in book four like we saw skir katla very early on in that you know what i mean and so we knew kind of what we were after and going for with this i don't know i both don't like that we don't know and like you said grant i also feel especially as i'm kind of a squishy character you just feel in one round you could just be dead it would be fine and then be dead

the next round with these giants and so it's just teetering on the edge all the time you can never feel safe yeah i think we've also missed opportunities i mean we've had to kill everything but i think we should maybe ask for some more intel now, especially that Sheriff Thunes, I mean, I'm sorry, Thunes, knowledge is kind of running out. Because after we cross that threshold, he doesn't really know where anything is anymore, right? Yeah, this is all new to him as well. He just had a good understanding of the first level.

Yeah, in terms of what you said, Joe, I mean, obviously you know there's a storm tyrant, and now, since entering the mountain, you know there's a king and a queen a king and a queen that you heard about all the way back in uh skier guard i think the they were shipping them the beer liquor yeah for the king and the queen yeah i think that was a cliffhanger of this episode like what now you know there's a king and a queen you also know there is an oracle of the mountain um that is aware of all of you and wait how do we know that from seeing all of our effigies yes and what uh the frost giant said in his he said there's an oracle he doesn't believe in that stuff but yet here you are okay

they spoke of all these things that would happen and created these statues to look like you. And he laughed it off and just went about his training. But yet there you were. Yet again, there's an element of destiny here. And like, I totally understand the feeling that this can be repetitive. A lot of fire gen personally, I enjoy it. But I also have the benefit of knowing what's to come. And I know that you see the Well, you see the whole picture. Yeah.

Which is so fun. Right. I imagine you're looking at the whole thing like, this is awesome. Yeah. Oracle of Glass Cannon Studios. I'm more powerful than ever on Glass Cannon Day, October 27th. But, you know, I can tell you that this isn't the entire rest of the adventure. So we should keep playing it.

You definitely should keep playing it. All right. All right. All right. We'll stick with Giant Slayer. Only because it's glass cannon. I have written down in my notes, Tytarian is the king of Ashpeak. Tytarian, yes.

Do we know the name of the queen? I do. I can't remember if I've said it out loud. And we don't know the name of the Oracle either. We just simply know that there is no Oracle. No, you just know the Oracle of the Mountain. Okay, cool. Oracle of the Mountain.

Tytarian, I remember that now. That's a good name. It is. It's a fantastic name. King Tytarian. I first read it as Tertian because of some weird dyslexia I have, but also I'm never quite sure with fantasy names. Did I spell it phonetically the first time I heard it? And I can't remember you saying it.

I always like when you guys send me notes on things and you've misspelled all of npcs i think thun was spelled seven ways what's what's correct uh th o n oh yeah i did th you and even as i said that i'm like wait let me look it up i like what the une because it reminds me of rune and thun with two o's makes me think of boomer sooners, and I hate OU. Well. Well. They beat Texas yesterday. Yep.

They sure did. Last week, you guys had a fight in a room full of traps. At least two or three of you fell into a pit while trying to save Metra. Then it was Metra who was able to shadow walk her way around the room to get you all out of the pit. Meanwhile, after killing one fire giant, the other one just started running. And I was talking to Skid before we started recording

today. I can't remember where we've done something like this before. If it was something that we recorded, I feel like it was something from Jade Region where you guys just started running after someone and like i had the larger map in mind and i was just like keeping track on this handwritten map as you guys ran about and kind of like doing a little bit theater of the mind i can't remember if we've

done it on the show or not when was that i definitely remember doing it yeah it was if it wasn't this it was jade region i think it was jade region the only other thing i could think it could be is something in the Mindspin Mountains where you guys were like, we got to go down that trail. Because the Mindspin map was... I don't know if I ever showed it to you after the fact. It was so all over the place. Maybe that was it.

It's always Joe that wants to do it. We did do a Second Chance Theater one on cannon fodder. Using the actual chase mechanics. Did we use the actual chase mechanics? Oh yeah, you're right. We did. We used a deck of cards. I can't remember what that was.

That was inside the mountain where we met the rock troll. What was his name? Oh, Fung Farr? Fung Farr. It was in that mountain and it was like Sir Will on Lexington

like chasing somebody through. That might have been it, maybe. It might have been it. I don was like Sir Will on Lexington, like chasing somebody through. That might have been it, maybe. It might have been it. I don't know. This is something I feel like I've done a few times. But it's pretty cool, because I have a map of this level of the dungeon that's kind of like a wide map. And so I know, you know, that's a dead end.

That's not a dead end. And as you're going about, I'm just kind of tracking it and making up in my mind how far the distance is. So he takes off. Dalgrith turns into a wolf and starts patting after him. Now, as you're leaving that room, there's a hard turn. And so if you're using the run instead of like a double move, you have to stop there. And so that's where he stopped, kept going.

Eventually, Dalgrith catches up with him, flips out of a wolf form, and goes straight into Dalgrith, jumps on his back, avoids the attack of opportunity, and climbs onto the giant. Meanwhile, Jimmer is closer than the rest of you. He's like a double move away at this point. And the Baron and Metra and Thun

are way back at that turn. So they're really far away. The giant pulls Dalgrith into the next actual room on the map and yells, they're coming. Now, a lot was going on at the end of last week, so I want to make sure I impress upon you what this room looks like, even though, Dalgrith, you're the only one that can see it. I said it looks like it has multiple successive

elevated tiers. Right now, you can just, you have a good sense with your dark vision or you have low light vision. Dark vision. You do have dark vision. You get a really good sense of the first tier, but you see a gate up ahead and a wall, and it looks like there's more of them as your dark vision starts

to fade out. You see a set of giant-sized stairs leading up to each level, low iron gate, and from your vantage point, looking up past the first wall, it's really hard to tell how long this cavern is. It looks like it just keeps ascending and going on forever. To the throne room! This is it! This is it!

It really does feel like a great stairway. Well, at least we're 100% ready. feel like a great stairway. At least we're 100% ready. The last thing that's important is the sloping face of each rise is carved with representations of a diabolical

armored giant stomping, choking, and cleaving lesser creatures. One diabolical giant. One particular armored, looks like a fire giant stomping, choking, cleaving lesser creatures. That bodes well. The sloped ceiling is 40 feet high above you, Dalgrith, and it looks like at least the first tier is 10 feet up in a weird little slope that wouldn't give you cover if there was anything up there.

I'm sure there's nothing up there, so you don't have to worry about it. And there is a gate on the door. You can't tell if it's open, closed, or locked right now. But you are in the room on the back of this giant. It's a new round. And it's Baron's turn. Just give me a sense of where you all are at. Jim, you are a double move away from being in the room.

Okay. You could double move and be right up next to Dalgrith and the Fire Giant. Metra and Thun, you're right at the turn. So you've got a 120-foot-long hallway, and then another 60 feet or so to get into the room with, you know, Dogwrath and the giant. Baron, you're on the broom. And you can, how far can you go on the broom?

30 feet. 30 feet on the broom. So, yeah, you are on the broom. That is a slow broom. That's still faster than Baron. Yeah, it's true. And you did not cast haste before we ran down here. Yes.

You did? Okay, great. Thun, Baron, and Metra are all hasted. Got it. Yep. I can technically move a little bit faster on foot now with haste but i'm on the broom so let's keep this broom rolling the broom why not uh why not jump on my feet why doesn't the broom have haste i think we were talking does haste affect magical things like that you know i don't know to be honest i think it feels like the spell fiat but does it affect does haste affect flight speed yeah it's all forms of speed if you have a mode of movement that mode of movement right as opposed but not if you're like if you have to

spell oh no light the broom uh can carry 200 pounds at 40 feet 400 pounds at 30 let me see i might be over 200 pounds though though, with all my feet. Probably. Yeah. It's all the hasted creature's modes of movement, including land movement, burrow, climb, fly, and swim, increased by 30 feet. But it's not Baron's fly movement. Right.

So I don't think it applies. Yeah. The broom can fly at a speed of 40 feet. It doesn't give you a flight speed of 40 feet. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's an enhancement bonus,

and it affects the creature's jumping distance as normal. Yeah. I don't think it affects the broom. Yeah, I think I'm over 200 pounds, so I'm 30 feet. The only reason I like being on the broom at this point still is because of it. You like the way it feels between your legs. He likes really,

because he wants us to get there first and absorb all the blows. There's a... The way the seam of your junk sits right on that wooden pot. Just get you going in the middle of a fight. Why else would I have bought these chaps, these assless chaps, if I'm not going to ride a broom all the time? Can't wait for that fan art. Please don't.

Yeah, so, I mean, at this point, I'm on the broom. Right. Getting off. Can I get off for free? Because I could run a little bit faster if you let it. But if have to use a move action get off i might as well just stay on dismounting the broom um yeah i think it's gonna have to be some sort of an action but then you move double your speed on once you dismount yeah and that but losing a turn spreading the extra 10 feet it would take me like three more turns. You'd lose 20 feet in this movement.

Yeah, exactly. You know what I would let you do is an acrobatics check to see if you can safely hop off of the vroom and double move. I'll make up the DC after you roll it. 26. Man, it was 27. Do you believe that? Do you believe that?

Wow. I had it in my head. That is brutal, dude. That's brutal. So close. No, that's good head. That is brutal, dude. That's brutal. So close. No, that's good enough. I'll let you hop off and double move. Okay.

This is Spratly Dwarf. And I'm okay leaving the broom there because at any time I can shout at the broom to come back to me and it'll return. So it'll hang out here. Maybe clean that corner, broom. And then he'll move 80 feet forward. All right. So you move 80 feet forward. So rude. All right, so you move 80 feet forward. So now you've passed the turn, and you've still got about 100 feet to go through this long hallway to then go another 60 feet into the room. But you should be able to do that now that you're hasted on your next turn.

It is now Dalgrith's turn. You are on the fire giant's back. MVP. MVP. No longer a wolf. And this will probably be your last episode. This is... What would you like to do?

Preposterous. First thing that I'm going to do is stab this fire giant. Okay, you will attempt to stab the fire giant. Attempt to stab in at the fire giant. Okay, you will attempt to stab the fire giant. I will attempt to stab in at the fire giant. Let's see. Natural three. Great fucking start.

God damn it! Every time. Every fucking time, man. Man. Skid, you got a new sound board here. Tell us about this. This looks amazing. I normally have been using my iPhone, plugging in these alpha playlists to do all the sound drops and everything,

but I finally got this cool new DJ soundboard. It can do a lot of cool things. It's way more capabilities than I'm using it for. For visual reference, it's a board of buttons that light up with different colors. It looks like a disco dance floor yeah it does it looks like

Saturday Night Fever but it's the colors scheme and everything it's all like mnemonic devices to like remind me of which one is which I was assuming Joe's gonna roll is yellow because he's a coward well it's green because he's Irish I love it I love it That's blue

Because you like the Giants And then of course Baba Booey Yeah so I have that We also have Baba Booey How is Baba Booey color coded? That's green because Gary Delabate makes me sick. It's like Michael Scott's color-coding.

Green means go ahead and don't mention it. Go ahead and don't mention it. I'm really hoping that by episode 300, Skid has reached Reggie Watts' level of being able to sample and remix and we'll take what Troy says one moment and mix it around into a hot new song. It has the capabilities. It does. Joe, I asked you at the end of last week,

I'm just realizing, and I texted this to you last night, about the giant moving. Does that provoke an attack of opportunity? And we sort of, there's nothing out there that says that. And so we decided, no. No, you decided that. I decided. Well, here's what I stand by.

I think he should get an attack. Really? He's leaving a... He's threatened and he's moving without doing a five foot step. And... But he's not leaving a threatened square. He's bringing the threatened square with him. That's what I think.

Yeah, you're... But he is leaving a threatened square. I mean, if you leave a threatened square into another threatened square by the same creature, you still provoke. It's true. It's interesting. But you're also moving. You're also leaving that square. I mean, if you leave a threatened square into another threatened square by the same creature, you still provoke. It's true. It's interesting. But you're also moving. You're also leaving that square. Yeah. Exactly the same time. If you would just stay in that square and hop off him, I'd give you

the attack of opportunity. See, that's what I think is silly. Like, how am I not at more of an advantage as I'm clung right next to my blade, right next to his skin. And he's distracted. He's not addressing me at all. The advantage is you could do a full attack action and not have to move and still be moving.

And still keep up with the giant, right? Yeah. You know how I feel like I'm right? Because Matthew's agreeing with me. And that really happens. You know what? It reminds me of this image of him on the back of the giant. I was on WWE's Instagram the other day and I saw a clip of Floyd Mayweather knocking out the big show. And he climbed on I saw a clip of Floyd Mayweather knocking out the Big Show.

And he climbed on him. And, like, Floyd Mayweather is, like, a normal-sized guy, but, like, next to the Big Show. That's kind of what I was talking about. You took one attack. Missed horribly, I'm assuming. Yeah. Well, that's—I didn't have my weapon out. I just remembered.

So I had to pull it out and then do that. No, no. You had the weapon. This is one thing, as I was listening back to you. You had the weapon out, turned into a wolf. I don't think there's any reason that you don't remain in the state you are. So it stays in my hands. He came your claw. Yeah.

Okay. Great. I'm a benevolent GM. Great, then I'll attack again. Yeah, go ahead. That is a 26. 26. And does it have any penalties to its AC with you on its back? No. Okay. That is a hit. All right. Beautiful. This does it have any penalties to its AC with you on its back? No.

Okay. That is a hit. All right. Beautiful. This guy has been hit. Okay. Then that is... Oh, that's good.

That is 19 points, 17 points of damage. Nice. 17 points of damage. Beautiful. And then I'll attack one more time as I'm hasted from my boots. Ah, you get your boots hasted. These boots were made for a hoot. Got my boot haste going.

Ooh. Ooh. D'oh! That is a hit. Almost critical threat. Ooh. And this one is 11 points of damage. Okay.

Yeah, so. 11 points of damage. Not bad. Not bad. Not bad. Today, Joe's damage dice are black and white. They seem very serious. He's ready to do business, folks.

Yeah. It's all business right now. Speaking of black and white, Metra, what do you want to do? Have I rounded the turn yet? You are at the turn. I'm at the turn. Yeah, so you're about to round it. So I can't see Dalgrith and...

No, they're gone. Down another turn. 180 feet. 180 feet away from you Okay so I will Stop I won't run Okay

I'll take a move action To round the turn Okay no you're You're at the turn Is what I'm saying Like you can go 120 feet Uh straight

There's a straight shot 120 feet Then you'd have to stop And turn another 60 Oh there's another turn Yeah there's another turn Oh then I'll just keep running Okay

Uh and how far can you run Uh Easily 120 feet. He's hasted. I'm hasted and I have 30 feet of movement so whatever that is I have to look it up.

Great. Okay. And because Thune is going to have the same situation as you when it's his turn. But right now

it's Jimmer's turn. Jimmer, you're a double move away from Dalgirth. Get right up next to him! Yeah, Jimmer, he's just like chugging down along behind him.

And he double moves. The rocks are like shaking free around you, dust coming from the ceiling. So I'll put Jimmer, boom, right there on the map. Welcome to the map, Jimmer! Woo! This is so ridiculous. All right.

And Jimmer is large, by the way. Jimmer's large. Yeah the way Jimmer's large Yeah I can move 240 feet running Okay, so since you have to stop That's a full round action, but I have to stop at the turn You have to stop at the turn And so Thun is going to be similar

Your move speed is 30 feet? Yeah Yes, Thun's is 30 as well Okay, so yeah, Thun's the same situation Remember, he wants to stay close to Mother So we got to that turn And stopped The final turn

Right, on Thunes' turn, he's going to come up to you Okay, Jimmer and Dalgrith Roll a perception check Uh That is a 22 19 Both of you Uh, that is a 22. 19. 22, 19.

Both of you hear a lot of noise up ahead in the darkness. Okay. A lot of like... Lots of noise coming in your direction. And now it is Thune's turn. I'm sorry. Is it completely dark? Completely dark.

Oh. I have to add 66 to my damage. Oh! Because he gets sneak attack damage if this guy can't see anything. Right. He can see. Oh, okay. So he can see.

Yes. Oh, that's right. He was throwing rocks in the dark. Both of these fire segments don't seem to be affected by the darkness. I was going to say, it's weird that there's almost no light down here in an environment where the primary occupants can't see in the dark. Right. I think they're trying to draw us into something here. Yeah, it's funny.

What I can say is right at the beginning of the book, there's a whole three or four paragraphs on why that's the case. And I agree with some of it. I disagree with others. But there's... Anyways, I just want to give you guys the book at some point. No, I can't wait to read it after we finish the whole adventure. Learning! Alright, so

you hear the noise. It's Thune's turn. Thune then moves up to Metro with all haste. Shut up. It's the Fire giant's turn. The fire giant that is sitting there with Dalgrith on his back. God, I didn't... I want to be able to move farther into the room, but that's going to provoke from Jimmer.

That will certainly provoke from Jimmer. And... Joe, are you okay? Who said that? Who said... Was that you? It's cold and flu season You should get that looked at Joe

That's the worst part about Glass Cannon Day It always falls right in the middle of cold and flu season I know I know It's weird I want to do like a full withdraw Forward There's no reason you can't do that Yeah Still provokes

It still provokes because he's big Oh because Jimmer's big yeah yeah big jimmer multiple squares god this is brutal um talking multi-squares baby i'm gonna i'm gonna take the chance he's going to well since it's only gonna i'm just gonna to move once and take the provoke. So, Jimmer, please don't kill me. Jimmer swings down at this back. Okay, good. 30 to hit. Yeah.

No! Hey, guys. No! 27 damage. Okay. All right. Still alive. So, he moved 30 feet, and now he'll swing with his sword at Douchebag over here.

Douchebag Magoo. What an interesting pronunciation of Talgras. Might as well do Power Attack. Sounds like Fran Drescher. No, I'm not going to do that. Power Attack. Power Attack. All right, 36 to hit?

That hits. God damn it. Would a 34 hit? Yes. Okay, so I should have done power attack. 11, 26 points of damage. Oh boy. Just boom with the great sword.

26 points of damage. Okay. At that. Oh boy. Jimmer Boulders start flying at you From the darkness You just see like Three boulders come flying

Oh my god Red hot boulders Again, such a low chance to hit First one, natural 20 See that's what you did to me last time Yeah That's just so fucking brutal Because it's like 40 plus damage

To confirm is an 18, so no, no confirm Oh, that's right, you had to roll a natural 20 twice to get that crit off Right, so 18 points of regular damage, 6 points of fire Okay Second boulder comes in, uh, miss with a 16 Third boulder comes in. Miss with a 16. Third boulder comes in. Another miss with a 16. So one really hit you, and you felt like that was an inch away from hitting you in your

duodenum. And the other ones just crashed in the hallway behind you. And now, now we're going to move on to Baron's turn. So how far away is the next turn? A hundred feet. Okay, so I will run. I will run up to a hundred feet to that turn because I can't turn while I'm running, correct? You said turn a lot, but yes.

Yes. So you're now right up with Metra and Thun. Yep. Then it's my turn. That's your turn. Dalgrith. I just want to double check something. This is annoying,

but these fire giants have extended darkvision. They don't just have 60 feet of darkvision. Oh. That's a big difference. That is a good point. Do they have metro-level darkvision or dwarf-level darkvision? No, that's fair. That's a fair assessment.

Yep, that's going to be a missed chance. Is Yep, that's going to be a missed chance. Is it? It's going to be a missed chance. So they knew he was in that square. If you feel good about that, I feel good about it. I've never wanted to see Joe become an attorney more than now. You could ask a question and then turn away from it. I just turned and looked at skin.

That's the recording table equivalent of shutting the briefcase on the table. Click, click. No, that's an excellent point. We'll be in touch. Walk out of the room. Let me get my measuring stick here.

Yeah, no, that would be... I have the range to throw it, but that's a good point about the thing there. The range you can see, because I was thinking I can't see any of them because they're more than 60 feet away. Yeah, no, no, that's a good point about the thing there. Because I was thinking I can't see any of them because they're more than 60 feet away.

No, that's very fair. So it's going to be a mischance. I'm going to add... So normally it would be 20% mischance, but I have to see if I even knew if it was there, right? No, 50... What? 50%? It's 50% mischance if you can't see him

at all. If you don't know where he is. All right. Let me roll the mischance first. 83. So I would have made that, but now to see that if I knew you were in that square, I'm going to roll a D8 on the table. Seven or an eight, it hits Jimmer. Okay.

Seven. Okay. Well, I tried. It's okay. All that for nothing No that's That's fair You gotta keep me honest

On those things You could've just rolled A D4 with a seven or an eight If I roll a seven On a D4 It hits Jimmer I mean I was gonna Call bullshit

But then Jimmer did Like swing out And hit the giant So there would've been A sound they could aim at Well I mean here's the thing He says they're coming There's no reason

They couldn't just be trained To just start hitting The doorway with rocks Yeah You know what I mean Like it's the thing. He says they're coming. There's no reason they couldn't just be trained to just start hitting the doorway with rocks. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, it's a relatively thin... They know the width of the doorway and stuff like that. But yeah. No, that's very fair.

And it also makes me realize I have to change my tactics going into the next round. Baron double moves, gets right up to where Metra and Thun is. Dalgroth, it's your turn. You now see that you have some backup in the form of Giant Jimmer, who's, you know, 30 feet away at this point.

What do you want to do? You saw rocks flying over your head at Jimmer. I am going to... I'm going to jump. Oh, boy. Yeah. No. No, I'm going to attack.

All right. Here we go. Stabby stab. Another natural three. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. I need to hit on that first one so I can get out of there. All right.

Second swing. That's a hit. And, oh, boy. Come on. Need high damage. Well, that's pretty good. That is 17 points of damage. Okay.

And then one more swing. Again, using up all my haste. Well, that's pretty good. That is 17 points of damage. Okay. And then one more swing. Again, using up all my haste. Oh! Oh! Oh, my God. There we go. Hardest one to confirm. Does not confirm.

Okay. But does hit for 14 points of damage. Exploding dice? Yeah, they didn't explode. His never do. Okay. Do you have one more attack? Or you missed? No, that's it. So I did another 30 points of damage. He's still not down. Yeah, they didn't explode. Oh. His never do. Okay. Do you have one more attack? No, that's it.

So I did another 30 points of damage. He's still not down. Yeah, miss, hit, hit. No, he had a lot of hit points left. That's one thing about these fire giants. They all have a lot of hit points. Okay. That was Dalgrit's turn.

It is now Metra's turn, followed by Jimmer. Metra, you are 60 feet away from Jimmer. And Thune and Baron are right with me, right? Right with you, yeah. You know, Baron's a little bit behind you time. We're about six seconds behind you. Oh, I'm only 60 feet away. Yeah, you're 60 feet away from Jimmer.

Okay. Metra will, with her haste, move 60 feet, move action. Okay. Get up next to Jimmer. Put you on the map. Here we go. Welcome to the map, Metra. Welcome to the map, Metra. Welcome to the map, Metro. Welcome to the map, Metro.

Welcome to the party, pal. And then she will, with a swift action, spring sheath out her wand of lightning bolt and lightning bolt the fire giant. Oh, boy. That'll light up the room. Watch out for my ass! And that's a targeted thing.

It doesn't hit... What's his name here? It's a line of effect. that's a targeted thing. It doesn't hit... What's his name here? It's a line of effect. It's a line of effect. But you could target, like, the right-hand square. It's five foot wide. I mean, I could hit both Doggerith and the Fire Giant if I wanted to. If you wanted to.

Okay, right, right. But you're going to aim for basically the southern, the southeastern corner of the giant square. The right cheek. Yeah, so roll a reflex save. Reflex save. Come on, you gotta fail this, dude. 18? I think that passes.

Hang on. It's a wand, so let me see what my DC would be. I'm sure it's lower. Yeah, that's gonna be good. Yep. Well, my third level spell DCc is dc 19 but the wand doesn't take your powers it takes the base the lowest level usually but the lowest level i can cast that as level three no no no that's the it's a third level spell yeah which you would get

as a wizard or sorcerer wizard at level five five so that doesn't that doesn't matter though right because the dc is the my modifier is the modifier right it's yeah that's what you bring to it is your intelligence modifier your charisma modifier okay so it's just going to be half damage but let me see what that's going to be roll it super high i'm going to try so it'd be 5d6 because it maxes out fifth level okay uh so it's 18 so you take 9 points of damage. What was the spell? 9 points of damage.

Lightning bolt. Lightning bolt? That's a lot. I didn't know it could be that low. Lightning bolt, lightning bolt, lightning bolt. I didn't know it could suck that bad. Well. Thanks for enlightening me, Metra.

You could have hit. That's true. Electricity damage all goes through to this guy. All right. Baron, excuse me, Dalgrith, you feel a little tingle down on your loins. And that's Mettra's turn. Jimmer, you are up. You're 30 feet away.

You are in charging distance. Jimmer! Yeah, I am. Come on. I'm just going to run up. I'm not going to charge. I'm just going to get run up, get five feet away from him with my reach

and I'm going to swing once. That is a 27 to hit. 27 hits. Yes! Please put him down. That is 34 points of damage. He dead.

Yeah! Yes! Dogwrith rides him to the ground. Uh, that is 34 points of damage. He dead. Yeah! That's Jimmer, yes! Oh, cuckoo! Dalgrith rides him to the ground. Rides him to the ground. He skids, like, along the gravel for, like, 10 feet. All right, so Dalgrith moves to his own little space at that moment. Oh, boy.

Oh, yeah. At that moment Oh boy Oh dear Both Jimmer Dalgrith And Metra Feel a rumbling On the ground Underneath your feet And you hear the sound Of chains

Along with that rumbling And then all of a sudden Out of the darkness Out At the top of the stairs The gate Smashes open And an 18 foot long 12long, 12-foot-

high iron rhinoceros Oh boy. Whoa. Loaded with chains all over its body, smoke coming out of its nostrils comes charging down. What? Oh my god. Directly at Delcret. Oh no. Oh, you have to be shitting me, dude.

That can all happen in one round. You know this. Yes. That's fucking awful. He's done. He's dead. This might kill. He's permanently fucking dead. What do you have for hit points?

60. 60? Oh, Jesus. That all 100% can happen in this round. The sound you heard in the first round was all of these things coming up. He was in range for his charge right now, and he's charging you. Wait, they threw boulders. Yeah. And then they can go move and open the gates.

Basically, at the beginning of the episode. It's not a full action to open gates. It was Baron's turn, right? And then Dalgrith, and then Metra, and then Jimmer. That's when, after Jimmer, the rhinoceros started to come down. And then Thun went, and then the fire giant went, and then those boulder-wielding whatever started to come down.

Then next round, Baron, Dalgrith, Metra, Jimmer, and now it's the rhino's turn, and the rhino is within range. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. So there is no gate. They didn't open a gate. It smashed it. He just smashes right through the gate.

Oh, I got you. Okay, I thought they were working in tandem with each other. Yeah. One does not simply work in tandem with a rhinoceros. All right, look at this huge creature. That's the actual artwork. Oh, God. It's like a steampunk rhino.

It is. It's a steampunk rhino. What is it with me getting charged to death? The little scythe blade on the end of the chain. Yeah, I mean, this thing is very, very nasty. If you got tired of fighting fire giants, now you get to fight this thing. It'll just permanently kill Dalgrith probably on this one. I'm going to eat my words.

Hit. All right, so I'll tell you right now, if I crit, I'll kill you. If I don't crit, I might still kill you. Natural one. Need a natural one. All right, here we go. He hasn't had one in a while. Dalgrith needs his luck to come through now!

I'm, like, shaking here. I want to make sure I get that plus two for the charge, obviously. Yeah, you're going to need that. Literally a natural two. And we can no longer disadvantage this man, correct? Correctamundo. Damn. Here we go.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I mean, definitely hit you. A natural two is a hit. I just want to tell you what it was so you know what you're up against. 40 to hit. Oh, no. Okay. Let me just get 6d8 real quick.

Oh, I had them all ready. Right here. So you can't put me down Right now Well, 68 plus Strength and whatever else Oh, he gets a bonus? You got a very healthy roll I was practicing this roll before

We went on air And it was much higher You were in like the batter's box You got a very healthy roll. I was practicing this roll before we went on air. You were so psyched. And it was much higher. You were in, like, the batter's box, like, with the weights on the bat. What's the matter with you? Is that why you needed a half hour to prep before we started? You were just practicing your D8s roll? He puts little donuts on his die.

It's 37 points of damage. Okay. And its AC is lowered from the charge, obviously. Oh, man. And it just smacks you and you just hear, and all these chains are whirling about its body. It's an iron rhino, and it's Thune's turn. Thune hastily moves up to Metra.

I'll put Thune on the map. Well, this is a map, Thune. Second, the fire giant is gone. He's dead. Now you hear shouting in the distance of someone, like, directing

people. Sounds like something effective like, get up closer. Get on them now. I'll be behind. Oh dear. Support the rhino, shit like that. And yeah, so now these fire giants, there are three of them, double move into the room.

Oh. And you see them in a triangular formation spreading out in this rather thin cavern, but definitely long. I think they all, yeah, they all had to double move, so that's all they can do. You've got an iron rhinoceros, three fire giants, and you know there's at least one other person in the back directing them. It is Baron's turn. Baron will rush up, double move, get right next to Metra and look at her and say, I don't know if we can win this fight, Metra. And then he's going to do a knowledge check, whatever you prefer, on the Rhino.

All right, well, I'll tell you what it is. It's going to be knowledge dungeoneering. Okay, great. Baron has that, so this is all... It's really not based on my personal preference so much as the actual rules. I prefer knowledge... 15. Your worst knowledge. 15.

15. You should know what type it is, at least. That's what I'm going for. You don't know anything. This is... Yeah, the CR is pretty high. Pretty, pretty, pretty high. That's the end of my turn.

I've double moved and done a knowledge check. You need to do something else this round. Figure it out. Figure it out. Well, Dalgorth, it's your turn, and you're standing next to an iron rhino. You're standing next to an iron rhino. I mean. It is a huge creature.

I said 18 feet long. Oh, my God. 12 feet high. Well, you're a big one, aren't you? It's eight feet long. Does not have. 18 feet long. 18.

All right, I'm going to do the same thing quickly. See if I can help out my sheriff. Covered in dangling chains. Nope. Instead of thick, woolly fur. Tallow eyes glow windows into a mighty furnace. And smoke that smells suspiciously like burning flesh billows from its smokestack horns. What did you do? You missed?

Yeah, no, I did a knowledge check and got the same exact thing as Baron 15, unfortunately. Unfortunately, that's a standard action turn. Is it made of iron? It looks like it's made of iron, yeah. So it's some sort of automaton yeah dungeoneering that could that could be yeah had this smoke coming out of its horns suggests like there's a sort of

steam engine there or some kind of golem I know golem site perhaps a construct what do you think of Dally I am going to withdraw you're going to full withdraw Let me just check its reach here Alright, so you were 10 feet away from it, right? Uh-huh So 15 feet away is its normal reach

It is? I thought that it was long creature Well, no, excuse me As opposed to a tall creature It's got a 10-foot regular reach It's got a 10-foot regular reach, which means you're safe at 15. However, it's got 20-foot reach with its chains. Okay.

So it's going to take an attack of opportunity with one of its chains. Come on. God! 21. Miss! Yes! Nice. Thank God.

That would have been so huge. Yeah, it would have put him down, probably. Okay, alright, so Dalgrith gets out of there. I'm out of there. Full withdraw, it's Metra's turn. Metra, welcome to the fight. Okay. Metra is going to point her finger at the Rhino. Okay. And roll, and cast a spell

and roll a ranged touch attack to hit. Ranged touch attack, okay. That's a natural one. Natural one on a spell? Oh, no. You have to be shitting me right now. Oh, man. And all your allies are with you.

So if it's some sort of thing like a blast fail on you, that could kill Dalgrit. I'm going to put that die aside. I guess my better judgment. In the trash. I'm going to read this one. Nick from Philly. Oh, God. What did'm going to read this one. Nick from Philly. Oh, God. What did you do to us, Nick?

Nick Maselli. Oh, no. That is so Philly. The spell backfires and batteries go everywhere. Unfocused Arcana. You are distracted at the last possible moment while unleashing your spell effect, causing you to wildly cast your spell at a random target instead of its intended target. Oh, God.

Your spell hits a random target within 60 feet, friend or foe included. Target receives the effect of the intended spell at half potency, half duration, or half damage of a normal roll. If the spell was an area of effect, the spell centered on the rolled target. Caster receives the shaken condition as a result of the misfire for 1d3 rounds. Will save negates the shaken condition. All right, I'll do the will save first. So it's only allies within that range. 27. Yeah, it's only

allies within the range. So I pass the will save. Is it the range of the spell or 60 feet? 60 feet. Okay, because the range of the spell is much bigger than that. Alright, roll a d4 if it can't hit you, right? I'm assuming. I thought it could hit that rhino. It's not aoe. Oh, okay, good. Oh't the rhino disintegrate?

No. Okay. I thought the rhino was disintegrate. It's still really bad. You did your little point finger thing. The rhino is within range. Can it be anybody? I just assumed not your intended target.

Yeah, that's true. Causing you to cast your spell at a random target instead of its intended target. Oh, instead of its intended target. Okay, so now the only other question is, can it hit Metra? A random target within 60 feet friend or foe included. So it can be Jimmer, Dalgrith, Thun, or Baron. We'll say one Jimmer, two Dalgrith, three Thun, four Baron. One Jimmer.

The worst possible one. Well, it was Enervation. Oh, my God! No! Oh no. Jimmer. The worst possible one. Well, it was Enervation. Oh no! Oh my god! No! Oh no! So it's 1d4 temporary negative levels. Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

This kid's gonna walk right out. So it's two negative levels. Because it's half, right? I don't get a will save? Enervation has no save? Enervation has no save. You have to range. It's a ranged touch Oh my god

Ugh Oh my god They only However these only last Uh Seven days No Luckily

It only lasts a week You'll get your levels back In uh Thirteen hours Oh great You've been in the Mountain for fourteen Um Okay yeah I love this spell description It says your levels back in 13 hours. Oh, great. You've been in the mountain for 14. Okay, yeah.

I love this spell description. It says, Assuming the subject survives. Okay, I'm not done. You're not done. Okay. What other harm are you going to cause your allies? I'm going to use the quicken metamagic rod to cast another spell with the rhino. Okay. This is a first level spell rolling a different die. Okay.

Does a 17 hit touch? Hit touch it does. Okay. That's great. I wish this had happened on the last one, but I'll take it. So you're going to get 1d6 plus 5 negative levels unless you succeeded at a 4 and shoot save. You mean strength damage?

Strength damage. All right. So what kind of a spell is this? This is a necromancy spell. what kind of uh spell is this this is a necromancy spell necromancy spell but like what is the it's a ray ray okay um it's not mind affecting nothing like that okay it's immune yeah it's immune to anything probably with a fortitude immune to necromancy effects all right uh Well, this is bad news bears for all of us. At least you did something.

At least you're able to hurt. At least there was something. Unlike Baron, you didn't just show up and stare. I was out of actions. I don't want to hear your excuses. Sorry, Jimmer. That's all I got. Sorry, Jimmer.

That's all I got. Feebly yells into the darkness. I'm sorry. Stop allowing the fire giants to locate her and throw rocks. Sorry. I don't remember this shit happening in Zero Dark Thirty. The director's cut. Well, it is a now weakened Jimmer's turn.

Jimmer, you see three fire giants in the distance, all armed with rocks, great swords on their backs, and then this huge iron rhinoceros,oceros what 15 20 feet away from you what do you do what do you do 20 feet away wait my oh sorry i didn't hear as much sorry um i i don't know uh i like i can't get to i guess i could charge. We could also just go. Leave?

Yeah. We could also just leave, too! If that's what you're thinking, I see you hesitating. Yeah, this is... I mean, we're not... I mean, you're hurt, right? You're pretty hurt? Yeah, yeah, I'm down to 28 hit points. We have no healing.

I just don't know anything about this rhino. Yeah. It's immune to anything that a fort would save. Did you roll Dungeoneering? I don't have Dungeoneering. Well, I told you it's immune to necromancy effects. I don't want to do too much chatting about it, but I want Jimmer to do what he wants to do.

But I have thoughts on leaving. That's what you all know. Mostly involving self-preservation. But there are some other reasons as well. I personally am just so bad at tactics that I just know I'm going to make a mistake. I think, I guess I'm just going to charge at this rhino. Wow. You are as strong as rhinoceros, at least until I... I guess I'm just gonna charge at this Rhino wow you are as strong as Rhinoceros at least until that's I was this is

the true test waiting for all these years I know you're bigger didn't it doesn't basically just make you yeah now to regular Rhino well no it actually doesn't affect my strength so um okay so I'm not gonna charge I thought he was further away so I'm not going to charge I thought he was further away

So I'm going to just move up Can't Five foot step unfortunately So I'm going to move ten feet And Take an enfeebled swing Natural one Oh god

Oh my god they're falling apart The worst time You do have multiple attacks So roll to see Oh, God. Oh, my God. They're falling apart at the worst time. You do have multiple attacks, so roll to see. Oh, if you confirm the fumble. Yeah. 32. No fumble. Okay.

Great news. Just a big old miss, and it is the iron rhinoceros' turn. It's going to attempt to do some damage here on the gym master I'm gonna do gore chain chain first the gore 36 to hit that's a hit all right so he softens Jimmer up with a gore for 19 points of damage. And then the first chain comes in.

Maybe a miss. A 21? Yeah, it's a miss. Miss. The second chain. Big chain. Oh boy. That's a 30. Yeah, it's exactly a hit. Alright. So the chain hits for minimum damage. Six points of damage. However, it does get a free chance to grab. Alright, so the chain hits for minimum damage, six points of damage.

However, it does get a free chance to grab. Oh, come on! Grabs with the chain. Jesus. 33 against your CMD. Yeah, just barely. Because of the innovation. So it hits with the gore, misses with the chain,

barely grazes you with that second chain, but it's enough for that scythe-like thing to stick in you, and you are now grappled. Grappled and innervated. That's going to be tough to leave now with Jimmer locked within his Thun's turn. Thun looks to you, Metra. Mother, what should we do? Get to Jimmer Stay close to Metra

And get to Jimmer Alright I'm very sick I've hurt very badly Alright, I'll flank out to the right So he moves 35 feet up And is right next to Jimmer Provoking an attack of opportunity.

Moving from 20 feet away to 15 feet. Because that thing has 20 feet of range on its freaking chains. Just get it behind Jimmer. I don't think Thune's been hit, though. Well, no, he has been hit. Thune has been hit. He is just going to stand behind Jimmer then. He'll single move up to Jimmer.

You know what? Let me see if he has knowledge Dungeoneering. Let's see if I can help you guys. He doesn't. He doesn't, unfortunately. He's got to invest some points. He should have invested at level up. You raise me up just to crash me into the ground.

All right, things are about to go from bad to worse. Fire Giants turn. Where are the air sickness bags, Troy? You need to put these fire chairs. Just tug on something above your microphone. Something will come down. Okay. Just then, in the back of the room, at the top of the stairs, a fire giant steps forward.

Unlike any fire giant you've seen so far, he's dressed in arms and armament that you have not seen on the other fire giants. You've seen lieutenants, you've seen the regular soldiers. This guy seems to be at least a rank above. And he looks like this. Like the lieutenants? Exactly like the lieutenants. Oh no, he's got a different beard.

He's got a different shield. He's got a gauntlet of some sort on. He looks dirtier. He's got a red cape. That's got a red cape. That's what terrifies me. Nice looking long sword. And he stands there.

And just as he walks onto the steps, he points and says, Go! And the fire giants start to fan out. One of them double moves up to the right. He is now within striking distance of Jimmer and Thune. The other two take a single move forward and throw boulders at Jimmer and Thun that will only hit with a natural 20 because they're locked in melee.

So one boulder at Jimmer, miss. The other boulder at Thun, miss. Had to be a natural 20. So, yeah, now the fight is getting a little thicker here, and then another fire giant has entered the fray at the top of the stairs, and he looks badass. But now Baron the gunslinger is in the room, broomless, but with a gun. What do you do?

Also outside of the range increment of all of his weapons right now. So to really be effective, I'm thinking at this point, Baron turns to Metra metron says get us out of here i'm gonna get as close to jimmer as i can and then he looks at dalgryth i need you to stay in this fight brother reaches out pats him on the shoulder cure mod on him 14 plus 6 24 points of healing nice nice and he looks at him and says toragoreg will protect us all. And he like hits himself on the chest and white light goes over him as he calls down a swift judgment of protection on himself. Then he uses his final move action, the final action of his turn to move directly behind Thun. Within range, should this go any further, but hopefully just to keep a connective chain so we can get the H out of here.

Okay. Okay. Okay. It is Dalgrit's turn. What do you need, Metsa? Do we need to touch? We just need to be touching each other. Touching each other. Touching each other it is!

Actually. He runs up to... Let me make sure. God damn it, Matthew. Motherfucker. And find out if it matters if one of the creatures is grappled. It shouldn't. It shouldn't.

It shouldn't. Yeah. Unless his chains are a dimensional anchor. Which they probably are. What is it, shadow walk or teleportation? I'm looking at teleport. Yeah. Oh, dear.

All creatures must be in contact with one another. All right. Okay. So even though they're in contact with you, it has to be a willing creature that you're choosing to bring with it. Yeah. Okay. I'm with the sheriff.

Let's get out of here. And he runs up behind Ben. Actually, it's only medium and smaller creatures, so the rhinoceros is excluded no matter what. But doesn't that exclude Jimmer at that point, then? Why would you say that out loud, Matthew? Oh, no. A large creature counts as two medium creatures.

That's fine. Okay. So can you take all of us? Can you take all of us and Th Matthew? Oh, no. A large creature counts as two medium creatures. That's fine. Okay. So can you take all of us? Can you take all of us and Thune? Oh, and Thune. So two for Jimmer, Baron, Metra. I'm sorry. I'm me.

Two for Jimmer, Baron, Dalgrith, Thune is five. And I can do one additional creature for three caster levels. So no, I cannot. I can't teleport us out. You'll have to leave someone behind if you did. Okay, I have another plan. What?

There is no other plan. There is another plan. There's no other plan! And so, Dalgrith, are you right on Baron? Are you leaving space open? I'm not sure if that's a Roll 20 issue or...

Right now you're a space behind. I was looking at your nameplate. A huge creature counts as four if you want to just take the rhino and yourself. Dalgrith is going to move up. Actually. He's not willing. He's not willing.

You could spend several rounds convincing him. Can I talk to the rhino? I'd like to hear from the rhino. He's wearing chains. I can't imagine he's had a good life. We've had so few role-playing opportunities lately. This will be a good one. It's a role-play with the iron rhinoceros.

Dalgrith moves up behind Baron in one move action, and then another action, he's going to pluck a potion of Cure Serious Wounds off of his belt. Okay. That is an action, right? I can't just, like, drink it if it's not already in my hand? Drink it as your standard next, or move next turn. All right, that means it is Metra's turn.

God. You've got this beautiful chain. Double-sized Jimmer, Thune, Baron, and Dalgryph. Reduced Person, what kind of spell is that? Let me look at that. It's Transmutation. Is that what you're asking? Yeah, I'm sure it's Transmute.

It's Transmutation? Is that what you're asking? Yeah, I'm sure it's transmute. It's transmutation. All right, so I was looking to see if I could cast Reduce Person. I cannot because it's a transmutation spell. I do have Shadow Evocation and Shadow Conjuration that allows me to cast anything from the Conjuration or Evocation schools. There's a chance somebody could disbelieve it and its power would be diminished. I don't believe it! Jira would be like, I believe it! I be its power be diminished i don't believe it uh jerry would be like i believe it i believe it no i believe it i swear unfortunately i can't do that

gullible man so my options are famously gullible famously gullible so my options are basically we can stay and fight or i can retreat with all but one of us. If I leave one of us behind, it's suicide. That person is in really, really bad shape. If I... Who has the tent? The spike?

The spike. I don't know who carries it. This is no time to rest. I would assume Baron does. I would assume Baron does. He's got the spike. I mean, you are the most set up to... No, dude.

You can just take them all on, dude. Boom, boom, boom, boom. I want to pull back the curtain for a minute, but when we skedaddle in the bathroom and when we went off air, Baron suggested that I teleport everyone but me out, which is both against the rules of the game and suicide but then you could cast it again if it worked that way

where you could say go away now that's what the spell is now leave me see you later but then you'd have to survive a full turn of everyone attacking you in this room. Yes. And then you including a rhinoceros. Including an enraged smoking rhinoceros. Alright. What we can do I mean, Dalgraith could literally be like if you're like, I can't take everybody! Dalgraith could he could

be like, just go! Meet me where we rested last! I'll be there! And he could just try to make it. Just try to run. Oh, because you're in your wolf thing? He has hasted boots. He could possibly outpace them.

Matthew, you're on the clock. Do you want to do it and definitely kill one of your allies? Or find another way? My issue is that Dalgrith is really hurt. So, even if we were to stay and fight, and Jimmermers animated because of me I don't think I can keep us in the yeah and if you vanish now they all go

before me so they'll just close on me and I won't be able to get an action to run can you shadow step us really far away or does that not work with this many people oh that's an interesting question let's let's see you could maybe give us some space some more time to think. Huh.

And I'm guessing the horn... I mean, I can move us around the battlefield. I can do that. I just want to get as much space between us as possible. Wait, you can dimension step all of us or dimension door all of us? All but one. It's the same rules. But we...

I mean, we... All right, let me just look at this phone. We haven't gotten Baron involved yet. I mean, I think... Okay. All right. This is dangerous. What? But I can plane ship this away. How mean, I think... Okay. All right. This is dangerous. What?

But I can plane shift us away. And that's just an action? One standard action? Yep. You move yourself or some other creature to another plane of existence or alternate dimension. If several willing persons link hands in a circle, as many as eight can be affected by the plane shift at the same time. However, precise accuracy as to a particular arrival location on the intended plane is nigh impossible. From the material

plane, you can reach any other plane, though you appear 500 miles from your intended destination. Planeshift transports creatures instantaneously and then ends. The creatures need to find other means if they are to travel back, including passing Planeshift again. And can I ask you a question

too on top of this? I can go to the shadow plane, basically. I can I ask you a question, too, on top of this? Matthew... I can go to the shadow plane, basically. I can shift it to the shadow plane. That's amazing. What is it about Metra that keeps her from just throwing up Thun? Like, does she care about Thun? Yes.

I'm asking. He called me Mother. Okay. That's what I wanted to hear. Thank you. Don't abandon me, Mother. Yeah, I think this is... I mean, if you, Dogwrith,

you, Dogwrith, were healthier, I would say let's just stay and fight, and we can get the upper hand on strategy, but you're so hurt. Yeah. And Jimmer is enervated. All right. Metro's going to step up and say...

Oh, my God. Now read the spell. If several willing persons link hands in a circle, as many as eight can be affected by the plane shift at the same time. I can make a circle of us. Can you? Yeah, because if I step up behind them, I can grab two hands. But I think all of us have to,

all of our hands have to be occupied with somebody else's hands. Yeah, and Jimmer is grappled by the rhinoceros. Yeah, I don't think we can do that. Let's try to fight. All right. The innovation is not that bad. The innovation is not that bad? It's not that bad, considering.

All right, then my biggest question is... Yeah, okay. Here is what Metra is going to do. Planeship, by the way, is that potion that Brander gave Baron. Yep. Metra is going to step up Planeship, by the way, is that potion that Brander gave Baron. Yep. Metra is going to step up next to Thun. Scroll. Scroll.

Scroll. Scroll. Scroll. Excuse me. Scroll. She is going to... Can the rhinoceros hit me if I step up behind Jimmer? Yes.

Okay. Metra is going to step up behind Thun. She is going to use the quicken metamagic rod to cast invisibility on Baron. Okay. And then she is going to dimension door everybody but Baron somewhere else on the map, including Jimmer. Oh. Okay. And it doesn't matter that he's grappled. You're taking him out of there, right?

We're just leaving the plane for a moment. Now, here's my other, before I tell you where we're going to end up. Well, that's what we did in the Wicker Man, remember? Yeah, that's right. We Dimension Doored Baron out of there. Yeah, right. I can't remember. Alright, here's my other question, though. I have 120 feet of darkvision.

What can I see beyond the gate? Oh, you have 120 feet. So I can see... Yeah. You see the second level. And do I see any creatures there? You do not currently see any creatures there, no. All right.

Grant is very outraged. Grant is so scared. They're just very, very, very clearly, these things are going to be able to see invisibility. I'm going to die on the way of getting there. That's just what's going to happen. If they can see invisibility. I don't know why you're going to go forward.

You, Matthew, are on the shit list forever. Fire giants can't see invisibility unless they have some sort of casting. There's a lieutenant and a rhinoceros, two new characters, or higher than a lieutenant, at least a rank higher. The lieutenant's going to have other problems to deal with because the rest of us are going to dimension door behind the lieutenant and

putting, if I can arrange it, putting people in position to do it. I can't leave Dogrith. He'll die. I can't leave Jimmer. This is our chance to free him from the gravity. But you could buy us time going the other way. I'm not going to argue anymore because I can't leave Dogrith. He'll die. I can't leave Jimmer. This is our chance to free him from the Gravel. But you could buy us time going the other way. I'm not going to argue anymore because I don't want to drive your character. Yeah, but if you go

backwards, I can run backwards and not have to go through a gauntlet of people. That's all I'm saying. It's up to you. I will vanish Thun because I don't want to hear it from Grant for the rest of my life. So wait, you're vanishing Thun and leaving him behind. He'll be invisible. He's a rogue, so he gets that sneak attack Don't attack, just stay low

Oh, that also makes more sense Because I can help deal damage to this guy if that's our plan We'll be back And then Metro will appear Metro will bring everybody No, just walk me through this You're taking, from where you're standing How can you touch everyone?

I don't have to touch everyone Just everyone has to be in contact Right, but Thun, if you're standing, how can you touch everyone? I don't have to touch everyone. Just everyone has to be in contact. Right, but Thun, if you're not taking Thun, he's not in contact. That's your only contact with Jimmer. He's diagonal, too. Yeah, you're right. Sorry, Baron. You're staying behind.

You can either leave Baron, Dalgrith, or Jimmer. Make me invisible But they'll just kill you Your HP is so low Well they'll just kill Baron too I don't understand what you mean If I'm invisible if you think they can't see me I think Baron can withstand a hit If the one thing that can see invisibility

Knows where he is Alright You get one shot. It matters less if Dalgrith dies than Baron. Gotta think smart here, Maitre. You need Baron alive? Alright, here's what I'm gonna do.

Is this what you're gonna do? I'll make Foon invisible, and I will move up into the space behind Jimmer. I'm not leaving a threatened square, I'm just entering it. You didn't just move into that space behind Jimmer I'm not leaving a threatened square I'm just entering it yeah okay yeah you didn't just move into that space already though I was like I'll move up and then I pulled and I was like no I'll only move up

to the square so I'll move to the square right behind Jimmer so I'm in contact with Jimmer yeah but you still provoke well you just have to cast defensively I can cast defensively don't lose the spell and I'll vanish this I'll vanish soon and then defensively. Don't lose the spell. And I'll vanish Thun

and then I will cast invisibility on Thun with the quick and meta magic rod. You don't need concentration for that? I will have to roll, so let me roll on that. We're one natural one away from perma

vis. Well, can't you do that before you move? Oh, yeah. Okay, so food is invisible. Yeah. Then I move, and I roll the cast defensively on the dimension door. Okay, roll that now. I get a 40. Roll it again, because you originally

had that roll. Nice try. Alright, I get a 21. Okay. Nope. I'm sorry. 25. All right. It's 15 plus double the spell level. What spell level? Fourth.

Fourth. So you're fine. All right. Whew. Okay. And then all of us except for Thun disappear. Yep. And we will appear behind the lieutenant or the captain up on the upper level. Leaving poor Thun behind.

He's invisible. He is invisible. All right. That's my turn. Wow. Oh, God. Wow. All right.

So Jimmer is no longer grappled. He's free. I lived so many lives in that turn. I know. So many stories that happened. I still think strategically it would have been better

to leave Baron behind to shoot while we came at it from the other side, but I didn't want Grant to hate me. I would die with three fire giants and a rhinoceros on me. I think we'll see you. I couldn't shoot while invisible. As soon as I shoot, I lose my invisibility. Yeah, but all of them would react to us

being behind. And then they'd come back and pound me into pulp. I would come back for you. Don't you worry about baby doll. Don't you worry about baby girl. Don't you worry about baby girl. You teleport everyone to the dimension door, excuse me, to the other side of the fire giant. That's going to reveal a little bit more of the room to you.

I had a bad feeling about that. All the other creatures. You see steps going up to a third level and the beginning of steps that look like they go up to a fourth level. Only you, Metra, can see, you know, what, 120 feet? Yeah. Whereas they can only see 60 feet. So actually, you can see right on to the fourth level.

Man. Brutal. Big-ass room. Four tiers. All right, well, as long as we stay up on the tear, the rhino can't charge us. Right? He can't charge upstairs. Charge downstairs easy enough. That's true, it did.

It's a huge creature. That's not really what you need to be worried about right now. What you need to be worried about is as you see the fourth level, you start to see figures emerge out of the darkness towards you. Oh, God.

There are three regular fire giants, one iron rhinoceros, and a fire giant badass very, very close to you, and more figures emerging in the distance, soon as invisible, but all alone. And we'll see you next week. Oh, God! God damn it!

No! Whoa! Oh, oh. Not sure. You really screwed up. You really screwed the pooch. Pooch. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015. Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo.

All Pathfinder images are property of Paizo and are used with permission.