The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 232 - And Boom Goes the Rhino's Might

Episode Date: November 5, 2019

A fire giant captain astride an iron rhinoceros stampedes towards the heroes as the battle rages on! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. And respond I did. This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. And respond I did, because around the corner comes the captain on top of the Iron Rhino. With the stampede incoming. It's the top of the round! The game has changed. Don't forget, finish this combat in some way or another. You might level up. Oh, that's right.

Will the heroes hold their ground? And I'm just going to unleash hell in the form of Terminus S. And press their advantage? What do you want to do? Are there still multiple Metras? I can't remember. There are multiple Metras. There are so many Metras. There are eight Metras.

Eight Metras. A multitude of Metras. It's like a baker's dozen of Metras. They all suck. That's uncalled for. Or will they be forced to fall back? The rhino. Smoke snorting out of its, the holes where its nose should be.

The furnace inside of it just shooting fire and smoke out the side of it. The adventure continues. Oh, dear. I mean, when I say a couple of things are gonna happen oh no i'm underselling it no you What is going on, everybody? It's your old pal, Troy. It is Monday, November 4th right now when I'm recording this. Joe and I just got back into the office.

We just drove back from Boston. We dropped little Matthew off at school. No, we dropped Matthew off at home. And then Joe and I came back here, brought all the leftover merch up. And I'm like, I got to record an intro to tonight's episode. But can I just talk about Boston for a second? I mean, what an unbelievable homecoming for me. It was so wonderful. I can't even tell you how much it meant to me to look out there and see that sold out crowd. That crowd was electric. It was a rowdy, wild crowd and a rowdy, wild show. We had an amazing time and we can't wait to be back. In fact, we announced at the show that we're coming back in just a couple of months. What's that, Troy? That's right.

We're coming back to Boston. But before I get to that, I want to talk to you right now about the 2020 tour, because we're keeping the Strange Aeons Glass Cannon live train rolling all the way through next year. Obviously, December, we're going to be at Underground Arts in Philly during PAX Unplugged. That's sold out. Sorry, fellas. Sorry, ladies. Can't get a ticket to that. But let's talk about January, February, March, and April, because that's all I'm going to give you right now. I'm going to give you the first four months of the year and the first five stops.

What? I'm getting ahead of myself. Friday, January 24th, we're coming to our nation's capital, Washington, D.C. We're playing the Miracle Theater. So get ready. We're coming at you. Friday, February 28th, we're coming back to Boston at the Paradise Rock Club. That's happening during PAX East. I may have said Saturday, February 29th at the live show. I don't remember much of what happened during that show.

But it's going to be Friday, February 28th, Boston. We're coming back to the Paradise. And it will surely be another amazing time. Saturday, March 28th. We're playing our hometown. We're playing New York City. And this time it's not going to be in Queens. It's not going to be in Brooklyn. It's going to be right in Manhattan at the Gramercy Theater. Those of you who live around here know what a big deal that is. I mean, you should just see the smiles on these guys' faces when I told them that we're going to be playing the Gramercy Theater. This is

a huge deal in our backyard. That's the one you need to fly in for. And then Thursday, April 23rd, we're coming to Milwaukee, Milwaukee. We're playing the Turner Hall Ballroom. I've seen a show at the Turner Hall Ballroom for the three hours that I was ever in Milwaukee. Why are we doing it on a Thursday, though? Troy, that's a weird date to have a show, a Thursday, because two days later, on Saturday, April 25th, we're coming back to Chicago. We're coming back to Lincoln Hall, and we're going to sell that place out. Milwaukee and Chicago in the same week, Thursday, April 23rd in Milwaukee at Turner Hall, Saturday, April 25th, Chicago, Lincoln Hall. These tickets are going on pre-sale a week from today. That's next Tuesday, November 12th.

So, if you're hearing this message, put a little ding on your phone thing that you have, or your little tablets, or you tell your maid if you're rich, hey, remind me next week. I need to buy tickets to every single live show

happening next year. It's going on sale, pre-sale. You can get the links to our tickets on our website starting next week, Tuesday, November 12th. I don't have much of a voice left. I'm all fired up. I'm just thinking about this episode that you're about to hear.

So please, in the meantime, enjoy episode 232 of the Glass Cannon Podcast and boom goes the rhino's might. Do you guys know what I had for dinner tonight? Glass Cannon Podcast and boom goes the Rhino's Might. Do you guys know what I had for dinner tonight? Take a guess. Just take a wild guess of all the possible dinner

combinations that have ever existed since the dawn of dinner. Microwavable tacos. No. I mean, we gotta rule out the LaValle special. You have to. I don't know rule out The LaValle special You have to I don't know why you would But yes you have to It's too obvious

It's too front door Too front door What do you think I ate? Domino's Domino's That would be really good right now Who at this time No not Domino's pizza

Like a plate full of Domino's A plate full of actual Domino's You know who loves Domino's More than anybody Everyone at home is trying to guess So I bet you it's I bet you it's this person. Oh, Fatty O'Brien.

It's Fatty O'Brien. No, it's Matthew Capitacazza. It's Matthew Capitacazza! Oh, no. Loves it. He introduced me to my rebirth of dominoes. You said the word dominoes, and my mouth started to salivate. That was my response.

Was this after the revamp of the recipe and their philosophy? Truth be told, I think you encouraged my own Domino's Renaissance. Yeah, well. Because you enabled it. Domino's Renaissance? We can't sleep on that phrase. Matthew and I had a lot of... The Renaissance.

A lot of pandemic and Domino's nights. They were very fun. Whenever we're traveling for our Glass Cannon live shows, I don't care what time of day it is, the second Domino's is brought up, Matthew's like, so we getting Domino's? And then until we order, he'll bring it up every five minutes.

So what's the Domino's plan? Do you want me to order it? I just got this email from Domino's. It's a sign, right? It's a sign. We ended up producing a hell of from Domino's It's a sign right It's a sign We ended up producing a hell of a Domino's spread In Atlanta from the apartment we couldn't leave That was pretty good

You couldn't get it to work the first night And then I flew in And then I got it done I was in the middle of a draft I was rewriting We were in the car and I'm like so a Domino's tonight right And we all agreed And then I went into the bedroom to work i came out an hour later and the two of them joe and

troy were spread sprawled out on couches and chairs and we're like i was like all right cool so it's dominoes on the way because we had to go and joe's is like i tried on the app didn't work didn't work i was like take my card you didn't call nobody does that anymore and then you actually it's incredible that you love it so much because you were asleep when we had it in LA, but Joe and I ate like an entire two pies while Troy was passed out on a side couch and we were watching Jackass 3. Yeah, you guys were watching Jackass. I passed out.

I woke up at 3 a.m. I was like, what happened? Did the pizza come? They're like, we came hours ago. We ate most of it. I inhaled two pieces And passed out again True story On our final day

In the Airbnb Troy had already Left for the airport He sent me a text Like hey I'm leaving It was like Five in the morning You're like hey I'm leaving

Can you just take the trash And do all those things And then I realized That Troy had eaten All of the remaining cereal That Grant and I had bought So I was like What the

I figured that was Communal cereal So I was like Well it was I didn't think You were going to finish it And I was, what am I going to... I figured that was communal cereal. So I was like, well, it was. I just didn't think you were going to finish it. And I was like, what am I going to have for breakfast?

And I didn't want to go anywhere because I had a meeting and then I looked in the refrigerator and there was half a Domino's pizza. You're welcome. You're welcome. I left that for you and I ate the Kashi.

What an upgrade. No, but you looked at the Kashi like it was a foreign material the first couple of days and you didn't have any and the fact you finished it... I started banging it on the floor. I think you had

Korean barbecue. I did have, no, I had, no, Korean, that's your guess? Yes.

No, no, I had what is known. This is a, I don't even know if I want to tell you guys. This is a secret. I don't know if I want to share.

No, you know what, I will because it's so delicious. My wife told me about this and she gets really fired up about recipes that sweep the nation what the fuck this is called the mississippi pot roast you ever heard about it no oh i already like the sound of it can i change my guess to methamphetamine for you because that's what it seems like you're on right now that's the

ozarks pot roast there are people at home right now like, He's not talking about the Mississippi pot roast, son of a bitch! That shit is so good. What is it, Troy? Did you make it? Yeah, Sam made it. You just throw it in a fucking crock pot. Joe says, did you make it? You said, yeah.

Sam made it. I didn't mean the plural you. Right, right. I know Sam is the cook, the gifted cook, but you also like to cook. I know. I do like to cook, but she's a stud cook. And she found out about this recipe. I think a woman made it up.

She worked out a million different combinations and she came up with the perfect six ingredients. Six ingredients to make this thing. And you just throw it in a crock pot, set it, and forget it. Let me tell you what it is. It's going to blow your mind. How is that good? Okay. It is, you get a chuck roast, you know, like a pot roast.

Like a rump roast. Yeah, any type of roast. Maybe Grant likes a pot, you like a chuck. Three pounder? Three pounder, sure. Depends how many people you're feeding. You yourself could probably take down a three pounder. Well, that's for me.

Yeah. Three pounder. Maybe another three pounds for your wife and children. A lot of that's fat that just cooks off. Right. You get a packet of ranch seasoning. Okay. Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's good. A packet of au jus. Oh. Butter, water, and pepperoncini peppers. The kind of peppers you get in like a Papa John's thing. And you throw it all together and it just explodes into a flavor delight. Of course it does. You're eating pure MSG.

Yeah. Well, man, let me tell you. It's all salt and butter, dude. No wonder it tastes great. It's salt, butter, meat, and MSG. This is the, yes, sure. But it has a flavor unlike anything you've ever experienced. That's called ranch. It's the best. But when I ate it, anything you've ever experienced. That's called ranch.

It's the best. But when I ate it, I was like, oh, that's a ranch. That tastes like ranch meat. You know, you just put ranch on everything. God forbid your meat tastes like it came from a ranch. That's a good ranch meat. No, it's the ranch, the au jus, the pepperoncini. I think the pepperoncini is the real kicker.

Au jus is like a dry packet of au jus powder. Like beef gravy powder? Yeah, it's like putting in bouillon into something. Yeah, Mississippi roast. You know what? You're a fool if you're not making this at home. It's like prep time, four minutes. I'm prep time, five hours.

Five hours. I'm thrilled to announce tonight our partnership with Domino's, which is bringing the Mississippi Pot roast pizza All across the nation No wait excluding Hawaii and Alaska This is what we're gonna do we're gonna just order a cheese From cheese pie order some Domino's immediately Yeah I'll have my wife bring

Over the leftovers and we'll just throw it on top of the pie Was it just falling apart Like that's what I love about a good pot roast I mean you gotta do a little work I don't have the Bear claws like you would use with a pulled pork but i mean you should need to get in there it really i don't know i was just like what am i eating why is this so amazing the answer is monosodium i'm not gonna let you ruin this i'm not trying to ruin it i'm just saying it's a magical thing that's just all you're eating it was great it was great and i highly

recommend it please please email in your stories your mississippi pot roast uh did you eat it on top of a bed of mashed potatoes like the recipe show online uh no she put sweet potatoes on the bottom and it flavored the sweet potatoes in a way i mean i can't even tell you i was blown away they weren't ranch potatoes have you ever had fries with ranch? They're delicious. You're giving no credit to the flavor of a pepperoncini, let alone the au jus. Oh, yeah. We did say pepperoncinis. Did you say pepperoncini? Because I'm Italian.

Pepperoncini! Pepperoncini! Did Sam dice the pepperoncini so they disappeared in the pressure cooker? No, just throw them in whole. And they're whole when they come out. Leave that stem on and everything. You gotta do a little work. got to bite it off the stem but it's worth it it is it's worth it because did you eat it with your like with your bare hands

the leftovers you want to throw in a sandwich and have it like cold and it's gonna have when we were in la i went fishing with my italian uncle I have one Italian uncle, and he's big time Italian. And we get out on the boat. He's like, I brought a couple snacks, a couple beers, and a little bit of whiskey. He pulls out his snacks. It is a bag of hard but absolutely delicious chunks of just Parmesan cheese. Oh, yeah. And a bag of pepperoncinis.

Yeah, that'll do it. That was the snack on the boat, and it was delicious. What more could you want? I know. I'll tell you what you could want. You would never think to pack that snack, that'll do it. That was the snack on the boat, and it was delicious. What more could you want? I know. I'll tell you what you could want. You would never think to pack that snack, and that sounds amazing. I know. It's phenomenal.

Would it kill them to bring a loaf of bread? Would it kill them to bring a loaf? It just gets wet. You can only bring what you can fit in a baggie. So if you're going fishing, what are we talking about drink-wise? You've got to have a drink with the fish. Peronis? You keeping it Italian, bro?

Peronis. I would have baited the hook with a fresh pepperoncini. It's known that lake trout love pepperoncini and parmesan. You want to catch an eight-pounder? Pepperoncini. You get the Italian fish. Branzino or something. Branzino.

It comes out fully cooked. It's like, oh, my God. You only catch branzino or something Branzino Branzino It comes out fully cooked Yeah It's like oh my god You only catch Branzino In the apartment Yeah It's wrapped in newspaper Yeah Yeah

It's like Alright Well hey We've had fun this week I hope you enjoy The Mississippi Pot Roast Hour With Grant Berger Are you playing Atari?

What the hell was that? I turned off all the sounds with the stilts. I like that. It sounded like you were playing Pong, and it was like a one hit. Bonk. You lost. Bonk. Boop.

Guys, let's talk about the Glass Cannon podcast. A couple weeks ago, I asked you how you were enjoying the adventure, and we got some mixed reviews. Joe, you were the most critical of it, and I understand why. But the other day, you told me you've been fired up as of late. It's been a fun combat. Well, this combat, yeah. Yeah, you like this one.

I'm all kinds of fired up. Yeah. It's pretty fun. I liked listening back to it because you, as usual, put me in a situation where I had to really rethink my tactics. By you, I mean Matthew. You're welcome. And, Jimmer, you were rolling out like 40 intimidations high 30s uh at a certain point i had to respond and respond i did because around the corner

comes the captain on top of the iron rhino how much of the weight was the distance was waiting for the right score and how much of you putting one and one together to make two, which is the captain on top of whatever this horrific rhinoceros is. Were you excited when you thought about that possibility? Was that always there? It was something I thought about when I was reading about the combat, but I didn't do it for various reasons. Because you threw me into that combat in a way that I wasn't planning either when Dalgroth came running in there on the giant's back. So I had to kind of improvise as I was going. But then I thought, okay, it was also getting to the end of the episode.

So I'm like, where are we going to go with this? We're kind of playing each other out here, seeing who's going to make the first move. But it was Jimmer that sort of forced the action. I was like, all right, I have to respond. So I had a side map over here that every time I was like, okay, a couple of things happened. A couple of things happened. I was drawing out where people were moving. And so I was trying to stay true to the map while also figuring out how best to handle the situation based on my plan and how my plan had to change because of the things you guys did. So that round started off with Jimmer doing another big intimidation.

I think you got like a 44 or 43. Yeah, that's the thing. 45 was the top. I have a plus 26 skill, and it's like the DC is around for these guys probably about like 25 or 26. Yeah, even if they had through-the-roof wisdom, that's still going to crush the DC. Then goes to Dalgrith.

You delayed. You'd been delaying pretty much since you got into this room, just kind of waiting out. I was drinking potions. Drinking potions, got into position. And then right when I got behind Jimmer, I settled in. Delayed, delayed, delayed. I'm going to follow his lead. Metro, you had also been delaying for a while.

You stowed your staff. But then as we were ending that round, you cast greater invisibility on Baron. Indeed, I did. Okay. I remember. And then Baron, you called down your second judgment. You had already called the judgment of sacred protection, right? Correct.

And now you added destruction. Destruction plus three. Plus three. So that gives you a plus three to attack or plus three to damage? Damage. Damage. Okay. What's the So that gives you a plus three to attack or a plus three to damage? Uh, damage. Damage. Okay. There is, what's the one that gives you a plus three to attack?

Piercing. Yeah, it's wasted on you because you hit everything with a natural two. Oh, no, that's the, the, the, the, the, the, I'll figure it out later and chime in, but piercing is for spell stuff, but yeah. Not piercing, it's something else. Destruction. Destruction. I'll look it up.

Yeah, it's a word like destruction. Like sacred damage. Resistance. Smiting. Sacred accuracy. So clever. So well worded. Well, while you look that up. Yep.

Rumble, rumble, rumble. You start to hear that at the beginning of the round. Rumble, rumble, rumble, rumble. With one move action, the rhino rounds the corner. Oh. With the captain on his back. You now see him. I've changed the map here a little bit.

I've drawn the edges of the cavern because you've gone off the map as usual. So I wanted to give you a true sense of space here. Where they're standing is where that I had put a white diamond on there to say, like, if you walk up to the white diamond, you can see around the corner. there to say like if you walk up to the white diamond you can see around the corner and that corner would run uh basically parallel uh to the map right here going uh to the left um but for right now this thing rounds the corner with the captain on its back oh no second move action it continues forward i just see it like skidding. That was only one move action? Skidding on all floors. All floors. Second move action

comes down within about 10 feet or so from the party. It's now taken two moves. Technically, where you have placed him, that provokes. From Jimmer?

From Jimmer. Okay. Left a threatened square to get there. Do I provoke there? No, if you stop there, you don't provoke. All right, so I'll do that. He's not stupid.

And the captain will now move action, dismount the rhino. Oh. And one attack on Jimmer. Oh, my God. All right. So you use two move actions of the rhino with him mounted on it and then give him a full turn. Yes. Alright. So you use two move actions of the rhino with him mounted on it and then give him a full turn. Yes.

I don't think it works that way, but I'm fine with it. In terms of using your mount, you don't get the mount's total action. I don't think you just get to move wherever you want and then full attack if you're next to something. Like a full move of the mount and then full attack. Is it technically a mount if it's

got its own agenda? Yeah, I mean, it's being used as a mount but yeah, it does have its own. Do what you want because I don't have any evidence or proof, but I don't think it worked. Doesn't that seem like really overpowered? Like if I never had to take move actions, I could just move around the field and do full attacks every time

with a mount. Well, no, it can't do a full attack. No, not right now because he used a move action to dismount. I didn't fast dismount. But if he didn, he can't do a full attack. No, not right now, because he used a move actually to dismount. Yeah, I didn't fast dismount. But if he didn't, he could do a full attack theoretically, right? He had taken no actions. So that's why it doesn't work. Right, if I fast dismount, then yeah, I could do a full attack. I hear what you're saying. I want to go on

record and say, I don't care what the rule is. I think this is fun. I do too. Be sure to email in so I can delete it without reading it. Here's the attack. Natural two. All right. Timmer, you're all right. Okay.

It's the top of the round. The game has changed. Don't forget, finish this combat in some way or another. You might level up. Oh, that's right. And now, wait, wait, what is left? All of the other giants? You don't quite know.

What do we definitely know? You know there's at least two other lieutenants in that room. And two captains. No, you beat them. No, you killed one. We killed one, that's right. Yeah. So there were two of those, and then just two regular giants? There are at least two regular fire giants. Oh, there are at least two regular fire giants left, too too I thought all three

Came down at us There might be more Than those threes Yeah but So what you know Is still alive Are two lieutenants Okay

That's what you know Oh yeah no Okay Another thing We killed those other Fire giants Yeah Yes

Yeah we did I know we killed The one that Dahlgrief was right No no no We killed They came in We fought them

In this room Yeah they came in You fought them In this room You bottlenecked them And wiped them out Oh that's rightief was right. It was... No, no, no. We killed... They came in. We fought them in this room. Yeah, they came in. You fought them in this room. You bottlenecked them and wiped them out. Oh, that's right. That's right. However, what you don't know is what's happening with Thun, because he is invisible in that

room alone on a ticking clock, because he had regular old invisibility, I believe. Yeah. Which is minutes. That's even much longer. Yes. It's minutes. It's minutes. So stay in combat rounds as long as humanly possible,

right? Am I right? Am I right? Have you heard this one? Jimmer, you're up. Oh, good. Okay. So I do have reach, but I'm still going to take a five foot step to get right into this guy's face. Get him, Jimmer! I don't blame you.

And I'm just going to unleash hell in the form of Terminus S. I am hasted. No whammies, no whammies, no whammies. And heroinized. That's right, you're all hasted now. Chocola heroin. Right. Three haste.

I have two enervation. Oh, right. So it all balances out. Sorry about that. First attack. Natty, 13. That is a 37 to hit. That all balances out. Sorry about that. First attack. Natty, 13. That is a 37 to hit. That is a hit. That is a hit. And that is 31, 32 points of damage.

Don't like it. Okay. Keep getting it. I'll save my other max bonus attack for the end. Your haste roll. Second attack is plus 19. Natty, 18. Critical threat!

Critical threat. It's insane. Roll the obvious confirm. Actually, not obvious, but... Well, I do have the critical focus as well. Right. That is a 29. That is a 33 on the confirm. That is a 29. That is a 33 on the confirmed.

That's a confirmed crit. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Hampton. It's already starting. So hot. It's a good start. Good start.

So hot. I'm not going to lie. It's a good start. All right. This one from James in Hamilton, Ontario. What up, Jimmy? National edition. Bonjour, Jimmy. Go. What up, Jimmy? National edition. Bonjour, Jimmy.

Go for the eyes. That's the wrong province. That's the wrong province. They do, though. I think they have. I got some. He gets it. They have the Toronto.

He gets it. They have the Maple Leafs highest level junior hockey team, I think. Do they? In their farm organization. Well, you know what I say. Fuck the Leafs. Go. Go.

Okay. Let's do it. Wow. Here we go. Go for the eyes. No, no, no, no. Now you're so tall, you swing up at this thing's eyes. Yeah.

You manage to hit the target in the softest part of their vision, possibly causing permanent blindness. Oh, yeah, baby. Double damage and target may become permanently blinded. Reflex save to negateent blindness. Oh, yeah, baby! Double damage and target may become permanently blinded. Reflex save to negate any blindness. If the target fails the reflex save, then they must fail a fortitude save. On a failed fortitude save, they're permanently blind. If they make the fortitude save, blinded for 1d4 rounds.

So first the reflex save and the DC was your confirmation roll, which was 33. Okay. No, not a natural. Okay, so at least 1d4 rounds okay now if it fails a fortitude save it's permanently blind okay now i have a really good chance and what is your what did you say the number 33 33 all right yeah it's got a real good chance i don't think you have a real good one no i do i think it's uh. I got a 35. Wow. Okay. Remind me to tell you his fortitude save after we go off. I assumed it was like 21. Okay.

All right. You're close. You're close. Yeah. So it's close. So to me, if it's higher than a natural five, that's not a good chance. I'll tell you this. It was less than a 50% chance, but it was pretty good.

Okay. All right. Hey, 1D4 rounds could be all. Yeah. 1D4 rounds of blindness. All right. You want to roll the 1d4 there, Timmer? Yeah, I'll do that.

Do it to him. Do it to him! 1d4, two. Two rounds of blindness. All right, keep me honest. And I am going to use my once-daily allotment of deadly critical with my longsword to add an additional multiplier onto my critical. Nah, don't do that.

Oh, my God. Three times damage instead of two. That's rude. That's just rude. It's a great time to use that, don't do that. Oh my god. Three times damage instead of two. That's rude. That's just rude. It's a great time to use that. Can that be a non-double damage crit? Uh, that is 89 points of damage.

I tip my hat to you, sir. Uh, alright, alright. Any, and you're done now? Alright, my third attack. Oh my goodness. Uh, natty four. That's a miss. Okay. And then my final attack. Oh, my goodness. Natty four. That's a miss. Okay. And then my final attack at full bonus.

That is a 35. That's going to hit. That's going to hit the old captain. Beautiful. That is 33 more points of damage. Captain crunched. He's still alive, though. These guys are very, very beefy, but you took out more than half of his hit points, obviously. Well done.

One round. Moving right along. Dalgrith, you had delayed, but now it's happening. What do you want to do? I'm going to go. Dalgrith is going to roll an acrobatics check to avoid an attack of opportunity from the Rhino. Ooh, you might fail that. Yeah, I might.

He's going to move. Oh, I guess I shouldn't even say. So he's going to start moving. Oh, you might fail that. Yeah, I might. He's going to move. Oh, I guess I shouldn't even say. So he's going to start moving. Oh, you're invisible though, right? No. Baron is invisible if memory serves. Yep. So I may fail this.

Yeah, yeah. It's just straight up against its CM D'Zoni. Ooh, actually, I have a better chance than I thought I did. Here we go. Straight up against his CMD. That is a 41. You're all right. All right.

There we go, Dogrith. Shitmouth. Shitmouth. Can I occupy this space right here? No. Yes. Yeah, that's fine. I'm not even going to say you're squeezing.

It's fine. And then he will take an attack at the captain. So Doggerith has squeezed to the far left of the party in between the wall and the captain. I'm basically putting the blind giant captain between me and the rhinoceros. Oh, so you are in the safest position to be in. You were, um,

whatchamacallit, you were trying to avoid an attack of opportunity from the rhino, but you moved it within threatening range of the captain. He's blind. He's blind. So yeah, he can't take it. Okay. Everyone shut up. Then I'm going to go ahead and take one attack. Okay. Natural

one. God damn it! I was so psyched because I was like, he's blind. I can get my sneak attack without flanking. For every skid, we have a Joe. Come on, O'Brien. To confirm, that is a 20... Oh on, O'Brien. To confirm? That is a 20. Oh, that's probably going to fail.

That is a 28 to confirm. Are you 100% sure? I am 100% sure. 99%. It's 28. All right, not a confirmed. Oh, beautiful. Yes. Beautiful.

Shit. Just made it. Just made it. Well, welcome to the combat. Metro, you are up. You cast greater invisibility on Baron. Your! Just made it. Just made it. Well, welcome to the combat. Metra, you are up. You cast greater invisibility on Baron. Your staff is stowed. What do you want to do?

Are there still multiple Metras? I can't remember. There are multiple Metras. There are so many Metras. There are eight Metras. Eight Metras. A multitude of Metras. It's like a big dozen of Metras.

Oh, suck. I'm going to... I'm called for. Metra is going to point her finger at the rhino. So it's going to get... I'm going to shoot. It's going to get cover. But it's a range touch attack.

Okay. It's a big target. Natty 18. Yeah, there we go. That's a 28 to hit. Definite miss. Touch. Yeah, that's a hit.

Okay. So please roll Fortitude Save. Oh, I know what this is. Wait a minute. Definite miss. Touch. Yeah, that's a hit. Okay. So please roll Fortitude Save. Oh, I know what this is. Wait a minute. Oh, no. I know. I got a lot of immunities, bro. Yeah, man.

This thing is... I'll roll the Fortitude Save. Did you just say Fortitude Save? This thing's probably a construct, right? It is. Does that matter for Disintegrate? Oh, it shouldn't. Oh, yeah, no.

It does the same thing. Touches. Yeah, you're right. Nice job, man. Well, hold on. Let me roll the Fortitude save. Ooh, 23. Yeah, just made it.

Oh, no. You haven't hit Disintegrate in years. No, I've hit it all the time. You just always make the save. You just save. But it's a Fortitude save. Giants are so fortuitous. It was a gamble, but I didn't have to move to do it,

and it's still, you know, I still get to do some damage. Okay. What kind of damage? 5d6. It's not nothing. It's basically nothing. It's not nothing.

Might as well be. I mean, I rolled poorly, so it's 19 points of damage. 19 points of damage. Is that a death or necromancy effect? No. No, it is a transmutation metal elemental skill. All right. And as you, if you don't remember, that has DR against

but this would bypass it, obviously. Just reminding you because you already got that information. Alright, alright. What was the range on the rhinos? It was like 20 feet, right? On the chains?

Yeah, it's got a normal reach of 10, but I think the chains uh yeah it's got a a normal reach of 10 but it's 20 feet the chains the chains are 20 yeah um yeah all right yeah i'll take a five foot step uh to stand next to baron well you don't know that to stand next to the man formerly known as baron actually you know what no i'm gonna i want to make sure i have an insurance policy So I'm gonna stay where I am Okay It is Baron's Turn Baron you are invisible

You have two Sacred judgments of Torek Wow man Blessing you What do you wanna do? Baron wants to first point out Or at least his controller does That it was the judgment

Of sacred justice Which adds points To the two hits To close that chapter Early in the episode Then he's gonna take A a five-foot step. You don't know this. I don't know.

I don't even need to be here. Behind Jimmer, and because his gun is going to make so much noise and he can't cast silence on it, he's just going to say out loud as he raises his pistol, but twixt Jimmer's legs, Love gun too. Judgment day. Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug.

Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it at all. And then he's going to fire. Oh, okay. First one is the 27 against Tia. Yeah, baby. Yeah, baby.

Yeah, I forgot his AC's down, too, from Blinded as well. Oh, yeah. That's not a great one. That is a total of 24 for the first one. Don't sell yourself short. Second attack is a critical threat Oh my god Barret, Barret

Okay That was a natty 20 on the die 19 on the die So within my critical threat range with improved crit That is a 25 to confirm Oh yeah, that's a confirm Let me know if you're a little less than 10 When you hit or confirmed, Chris.

That was less than 10. Oh, boy. What do we got here? All right, this one from Nathan Goldsberry in Chesterton, Indiana. Hi, Nathan. Oh. Hi, Nathan. Magic bullet.

Oh, boy. The gods. Maybe Turok. Wait, is it really called magic bullet? Yeah. Wow. Gods, imbue your weapon is it really called Magic Bullet? Yeah. Wow. Gods, imbue your weapon with magical energy and guide your projectile. If the weapon isn't magic, then it will be treated as such for DR purposes.

Double damage and all enemy targets within a 10-foot radius are hit by the projectile for half death. Oh, my God. Oh, it's the Dallas version. Yes, exactly. All creatures aside from the initial target get a reflex save to dodge the projectile. Oh, reflex. Great. So you were aiming for the captain.

Correct. So that's four times damage. Yes. All right. Just confirming. Amazing. Done. Do you remember what his confirm roll was?

It was 18. That was 25 was his confirm roll was? It was 18 That was 25 was my confirm roll Failed the reflex save So that's a total of 96 points of damage Oh my god And half of that So We're looking at

Well, I think it's I think it's probably half normal damage Not half four times damage I don't know how to extrapolate that out Out of my rolls Because I rolled them all at once So we'll do the lowest damage. No, just roll normal damage. Oh, against that one?

Against the, because it's not Bane or anything so. So that is minus the Bane bonus. Okay, so this still 25 points of damage with a max damage. So 12 against the Rhino. Wow. Good news is the captain's dead. Yeah!

Give me back that grit point. I want my grit points. Blasted him to oblivion. I mean, for reals. For reals. He has over 200 hit points. Well, Jimmer did some good work. Yeah, Jimmer just...

He did get grit twice. I feel like Dwayne Wade on the Miami Heat teams with LeBron James just setting them up and I just get to come in with a slam and jam. Will you also retire like him from our game? Yes, of course. Do you have any attacks left? I do. I've got three more.

What a shame. But as Baron reaches in, that was his two shots. He's got a rapid reload. He reaches in to grab the alchemical cartridges needed to rapid reload, and it's feeling a little empty in the cupboard. Ooh, a little light? A little light out there. A little light in the trousers? The first attack is a 28 to hit? Yeah. Miss. Miss against

this guy. Oh, shut up. Alright. Minimum damage, that's minus two. Eighteen points of damage. Alright, and what is the bonus on your weapon? Plus two weapon, plus three weapon. I think it's effectively a plus three. Okay, so that doesn't bypass his DR.

And so what did you say the damage was again? 18. Okay. Nice damage, Baron. Oh, wow. What is it, DR 10? DR 15? Probably DR 10.

Misfire. Oh, no! Come on, dude! End of turn. Misfire. Hey, hell of a round, though. Hell of a round. Hell of a round.

By everybody. I think we're probably ready to wrap this combat up. Let me just see who's next on the initiative tracker here. Oh, it's the Rhino's turn. Wait. Demetra, did you go? The Rhino. Yeah, I did the disintegrate. Oh, right, the Rhino's turn. Wait. Demetra, did you go? The Rhino. Yeah, I did the disintegrate.

Oh, right, right, right. Here's what the Rhino's gonna do. The Rhino... ...smokes snorting out of its... ...the holes where its nose should be. The furnace inside of it just... ...shooting fire and smoke out the side of it. Runs. Over over Jimmer, Baron, and Metro.

Oh, wow. What? Oh, my God. To attempt to trample them. Oh, dear. I mean, when I say a couple of things are going to happen, I'm underselling it. You have some options with a trample. It's like overrun, but you just have to, I just have to

say, I'm trampling now. I don't have to roll the overrun. It works similar to it. I just have to move over the opponents in my path. Now, you have some options. You can make an attack of opportunity, but at a minus four. If you want

to forego your attack of opportunity, you can attempt a reflex save to take half damage if you succeed. Those are your two options. Let's just see what everybody wants to do. Let me just grab a pen here. I've got a lot of notes I've got to take. Jimmer, what do you want to do? I'm going to try to do a reflex save.

Reflex save. Roll me that save. All right. Roll me that save. Alright. Show me that farm. Alright. 21. That is a fail on the reflex save. Stretch, stretch, stretch. Baron, the old

gunslinger. Without the feet skills I need in order to take... Sorry, 22. Also a fail. I don't have all the feats I need in order to take... Oh, wait. Sorry. 22. Also a fail. Also a fail. I don't have all the feats I need to be able to take a ranged attack of opportunity with my pistol, so I'm going to do a reflex save.

Okay. 29. You're all right. Yeah. Half damage for Baron. Matthew Capitacazza, even though there are 24 metras, you are in the path of this thing. All of them are in the path.

All of them are in the path. Oh, that's right. They're all going to take that damage. Well, I don't know how that works. Yeah, I mean, there's not one... I assume I would just take the damage. Like down the hallway, I guess. Yeah, you just take the damage.

Yeah. It's not... I guess, wouldn't AOE affect all of them? I don't know if trample counters an AOE. Yeah, it doesn't count as a... But this is more of just a question. AO. Yeah, it doesn't count as a... But this is more just a question. I mean, we would, yeah. I think in a...

Well, usually the way we play is if you're burning hands something with mirror image, it's like you take the damage. Yeah, yeah. Okay. But a fireball would get everyone.

Joe's left the table to make himself a cocktail and he's shaking his head. Regardless. So, yeah, what do you want to do? Attack of opportunity? Yeah, with my hands or the reflex save?

Well, I guess I guess I'm not being targeted Right By an effect Am I being targeted By an effect Here we go What are you

What are you thinking Well I could I could ether step Is that a Immediate action Yeah I don't see Why not

Because you're not being Targeted Yeah it's You must Must get the ether step After you are targeted by an attack or effect. After you have been targeted. But before you learn the results of the attack or effect. Yeah, this is before you're being targeted, I would say, yeah. So I could Aether Step?

A lot. All right, Metro will Aether Step. The game would also allow it. All right, so where would you like to Aether Step? Back to that other room? No, no, I stay where I am. I step onto the Aetherial Plane. Ah, so where would you like to Aetherstep? Back to that other room? No, no, I stay where I am. I step onto the Aetherial Plane. Ah, so you just phase out.

And as we learned, since the last kerfuffle about this, this lasts until the beginning of my next turn. Okay. But then on my next turn, and keep me honest about this, I can only take move or free actions. Alright, I don't need your life story.

Let's talk about the damage first. Jimmer, you're going to take 18 points of damage. Baron, you're going to take seven points of damage. Who did he like? However, in addition to the damage that you take, Jimmer, because you failed your reflex save, as it tramples over you, one of its chains hooks into you and wraps around your body

and entangles you within the chain, giving you the entangled condition. So you are now entangled from the chain. You can try to escape as a standard action by doing a strength check, which I'm sure you would be able to crush, although maybe not. Strength checks aren't necessarily easy

because you're trying to hit a high DC with just your strength bonus. Or escape artist checks. Or you can just try to hack at it and hope for the best. But while entangled, it's just not a great place for you to be, although it's a good thing the captain is dead.

The rhino is... I'm not prone, though. Yeah, no, it looks like, because it works like the overrun combat maneuver, it just runs right over you, just buffets you as it's going past. So you're not prone, just entangled.

Why is he entangled? Because it's an automatic thing of this creature. Like, if you seed on a trample... Because he failed? Because he failed. Both of you guys saved? Yeah. Got it. Well, he didn't, Matthew didn't save. Matthew did either step. Oh, right, right, right.

Yeah. I'm no longer here. Much as you weren't here when you went to me. Metro left us! But never trusted anyway! Jason, run! Within Metro leaves,

you really do have to run. Oh, yeah. Run to where? Yeah, really? Sepuku is your only option. Pretty much. Entangled here, I'm reading it impedes movement, but doesn't entirely prevent it unless the bonds are anchored.

I can tell you right now you can't move more than 20 feet away from it. So if you try to move away, you're locked in. You move at half speed, can't run a charge, minus two to attack, minus four to dex. And if you try to cast a spell, Jimmer, well, I'll let you know what happens when we come to that. But it is... I was planning on taking a level in Sorcerer in the middle of this combat. A little Sorcerer dip mid-com.

Jimmer, you are up. What do you want to do? Mid-com, Sorcerer dip. Mid-com, Sorcerer dip. Classic. I think I'm actually... I don't think I'm going to try to get out, although I could try to make a strength check, but that's a standard action, right?

Yes. I think instead, I'm not interested in getting away from this thing, honestly. He did you a favor. I have plenty of movement. I am going to, oh, shoot. I'm going to like, chains, I'm just's gonna like drag these chains and I unfortunately have to get right up next to it

in order to fight it because of the placement of Metra and Baron well yeah well more because of Baron even though I can't see him yeah way to go Baron so I will incur an attack of opportunity from this thing if it helps from the Rhino. He sure does.

Let's go with the gore. That's going to be... Oh, sitting on the natty 19 turned into a natty 2. Oh, yeah. So that would be a miss. Okay. So... What's your AC?

29 right now. Miss, miss, miss. He's going to take a single attack with Terminus S. Okay. That is a 33 to hit. Yeah, that's going to hit. All right. And we've already established Terminus S is a plus four sword, right?

Yes. And that's going to be counting as a demantine for purposes of bypassing DR. And that is 28 points of damage. Nice. That's damage. Nice. That's hot. Nice. That's very hot. It's hot.

So hot right now. Sharp steel, ancient steel of Terminus S cleaves through this thing's iron hide. Dalgrith, what are you thinking? Dalgrith is going to try. This is crazy. He's going to try to just get himself into position, and I can't think of any other way to do this with my movement. He's just going to bolt, right?

Jimmer is facing this thing head to head. You guys are clanging, clanging, clanging, and he's going to try to take this opportunity of distraction and get past the rhino, like past rhino okay he's going to move slide between its legs slide between its legs as you two are fighting so i need to roll uh to avoid the uh aoo right if it has combat reflexes oh wait it already did an aoo yeah i got a tip one on jim are you listening to the show show Sorry I was reading the rule on this Because you're going to see I'm doing something I've never done before

Okay Listening to the show Hey Is that it You hear about this one Jeez I don't know I can't Oh man taking the risk It does make a huge difference

That's a huge difference If it has combat reflexes I'm not going, taking the risk, it does make a huge difference. Oh, that's a huge difference if it has combat reflexes. I'm not going to take the risk. I'm going to try to roll on it. Are you hasted still? Did I haste you? Yeah. Everybody's hasted, including the rhino. Hmm.

Yeah, I'm going to roll to try to avoid it. There we go. It definitely avoided it. 90-17 on the die, and I'm going to move and slide under the creature and then get into flanking position on the other side of it. And you made the CMD check? Yeah, I made the CMD check to avoid the AOO. Yeah, but moving through its space, you still have to make the CMD plus five. Not I.

Not you? Not I, yes. Not the? Not the Dog Not the. Dog with Deathbringer. Yes. Tell me about your stupid power that lets you do that. I can't find it right now.

I lost it after. All right. I'll just trust you. It definitely exists. Sure. I'm sure it's real. I could definitely do it. You seem like a trustworthy fellow.

At fourth level, a vexing dodger Can move through The space of a creature Two sizes Two size category Larger than herself Without needing to Attempt an acrobatics Beautiful I still need to

Attempt a check To avoid the attack Of opportunity Right But I basically I'm so small And sprightly I just like

Slide between its legs As Jimmer's fighting it And get to the other side I believe in miracles Since it came along You vexing thing You vex-y thing. You vex-y thing. I halved my speed because of the acrobatics check,

so it took me a full double move to get around to the other side of the rhino. Because that's a big-ass rhino. That's a big-ass rhino. That's fair. Metra 9. All right, so Metra steps back onto the material plane. Uh-huh. And then I can only take free or move actions. Nine. All right. So Metra comes back, steps back onto the material plane. Uh-huh.

And then I can only take free or move actions. So I will say something. Yeah. Hey, I'm back. Hey, everyone. I didn't leave yet. Hey, fellas. I'm back.

Hey. Hey, girl. Ta-da. I will Metra. I can move action if I'm rolling the acrobatics To check to avoid An attack of opportunity Is that still considered A move action?

Yeah Yeah yeah Yeah Yeah Alright so Metro will I'm offended that you asked Metro will Attempt a move action

To move up to the north And she will roll acrobatics To avoid the attack of opportunity Should it happen Should it happen Okay roll it Roll an X of 20 That is going to be A 20 Should it happen? Okay, roll it. Roll an X of 20.

That is going to be a 20... 28. Yeah, you feel like it should have been able to get at you, but nothing happens. Oh, man. You could have done your thing, Joe. I could have done my thing. Okay, so she'll just move up to the north, and that is her turn. That is her turn, Baron.

Can I roll Perception? Red Peak. Yeah, roll Perception. To see if anybody else is coming down the hallway. I'll tell you the reason I couldn't risk it is because he can grapple on a successful I.O.A. Oh, right. So it's one thing to take the damage. It's another thing to take the damage and be grappled.

Yeah, that would have sucked. 32. No! Shit! You hear coming rapidly down that cavern. Poop. Poop. Say something again.

They're coming! That's good. They're coming! Watch out, Baron! True if I see, but not... Baron is going to spend a grit point to quick clear his weapon as a move action. He is then going to reach out grit point to quick clear his weapon as a move action. He is then going to reach out

and touch Jimmer on the heel and say, it's about damn time. You're deputized. Touch of law. Oh, yeah. Oh, I love that. Which will allow him to treat, allow him to treat any roll as an 11 if he wishes.

So I can roll, and then if it's a roll, I think you have to call it, I think you have to call it any roll 20. It doesn't say it in the text. I like it you call it beforehand, but I feel like with your bonuses, you'll hit. Yeah, for sure. And I'm not getting through this damage reduction, and I have like a...

So this seems like the best... But I mean, it's a round? Not just one roll? It's a round. Oh my god. So every one of your hasted attacks can be an add 11. Also, the others are coming down the hallway. Yep. Those you definitely can shoot. Right.

I love it. I love it. Yep. You can touch a willing creature as a standard action, infusing with the power of divine order and allowing it to treat all attack rolls as... Skill checks, ability checks. For one round. For one round.

That is amazing. So no fumbles from Jimimmer yeah yeah unless you want to roll for that crit well i might i'd probably have to do like my fourth attack like i'd have to do it no no no there's no i mean you're not going to be able to crit it anyway so it's fine yeah it's so weird it's the best it's so weird how it's written it just says but i just miss like an 11 wouldn't be high enough with my lowest attack. Better than a fumble. But no, I see. Yeah, but you can definitely roll it.

You can roll it. Oh, yeah, you could just let it ride on your rolls that you know you'll hit on. Right, right. And then turn it off. Although I wouldn't get a, I know I won't get a crit either. But it's a construct. Oh, that's true. That's true, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. That's a little metagaming because we failed our knowledge checks. Around the corner Tink tink tink tink tink One, two lieutenants come up Oh god they're already here And they double move right within range of Metra But that's all they can do

It is the iron Rhinoceros' turn The chains have grappled Poor Jimma He is going to attempt To swallow The chains have grappled poor Jimmer. He is going to attempt to swallow Jimmer whole. Oh, come on! But he's so big already. There only has to be one size category.

That's only one difference? I think that's correct. Wow. Yeah, yeah. So he is going to... Oh, dear. And in order to do so, you have to be able to maintain the grapple, which he can do for free with these particular chains.

So Jimmer is swallowed whole. Oh, really? It's not even a roll? Yeah, I'm looking right here, and these grasping chains, it says it doesn't gain the grapple condition when using its chains to grapple enemies, and can maintain a grapple using its chains as a free action, though doing so prevents it from attacking with that chain. And then the swallow hole text?

Well, swallow hole, if you maintain an action while grappling a creature. If you maintain the grapple while grappling a creature, you then can swallow it whole, as if you were pinning it. But, you know, this would be... I'm reading the text to swallow whole here. You know, the thing about swallow whole, it says it can attempt a new combat maneuver check as though attempting to pin the opponent. So that's different

from just maintaining the grapple. So I'm just going to roll the combat maneuver check. I'm sure you're going to be fine. I have a feeling the bonus on this roll is ridiculous. Crack die. All right. Something in the mid to high 30s.

Almost a 50. I just want to make sure I'm getting this right. It's a 49 to maintain it. Okay. Swallows Jimmer Hall. Wow. That sounds totally plausible. Yeah, I buy it completely.

Pulls Jimmer. 12-foot tall, 800-pound man. Well, this thing is a huge, huge construct. Yeah, it's huge. How big is its mouth? Does it have a 12-foot wide mouth? It's like an iron rhinoceros snake. Even that would take several minutes.

That's true. That's true. Well, you know what it is? It's hatches on the side of its body open up and shove you inside of the furnace. So it's not even through the mouth. It like takes the chain and pulls you into a furnace and then the doors on side of it close. Much more believable. These are the picture.

Now you're there. Yeah. All right. You take 10 points of fire damage as you're burning alive inside of this construct. Oh, I don't like this. This is bad news bears. Moving right along. It is Jimmer's turn.

Okay. Jimmer, your options are, you know, you can try to fight your way out, obviously. Those are your options. Am I still just entangled? Is that still the condition? You're no longer entangled, but I believe That's good news. Yeah. I believe you're grappled. You maintain the grappled

condition while you're inside of it. Right. We haven't really done this since the Vault of the Thorns when we had to cut out and we had to pull out all those light slashing weapons to do anything. Oh, that was the worst.

We did it in Scarecrow. Oh, right. Right, right. You know also who was the first person to get swallowed whole? No, it happened. It was in the Vault of Thorns, too. But there was the giant plant that like...

Yeah. But do you remember the first person to swallow whole? Who? Matthew? It was Della. Was it? It was her first episode.

No, it was Galabras Finn by the Gar in Gar and the Lady. No, that was way later. Oh, it was after the Vault of Thorns. It was that huge plant in the Vault of Thorns. The Tendriculus. The room where we met Stella. The Tendriculus. Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

That's the most memorable one. That was 100 years ago. I almost died. The ravages of time. I know, like in your first episode. I was so mad at you. Wow, that would have really changed the game. Alright, so you basically have

to try to cut your way out. Or you can just sit in there and take a nice warm bath. I'm inside this thing. I got him right where I want him. I'm just going to do a full attack. I can do a full attack right no you've got it if i'm liable or one hit life is it a lot of those light weapon things light yeah light light slashing or piercing what i'm reading here you need those weapons in order

to cut yourself out the light or piercing whatever that light slashing weapon but you know let's say you don't have those things or that's not what you want to do. You're basically grappled, so now you're just following the grappled rules, which allow you to, you know, you can make any attack with a light or one-handed weapon. You can even make a full attack. It just has to be, is Terminus S one-handed? Yeah. I don't see any reason you can't just be like, yeah, I got you exactly where I want you. Yeah, that's what I said.

I'll just start just stabbing away with Terminus S. Yeah, that's fine. He's not trying to cut himself out. He's just damaging it from the inside. Yeah, I'm just trying to hurt it. And that bypasses DR, right? Because it's a plus four weapon. Yeah, because it's plus four.

I'm also reading here, the armor class of the interior of a creature that swallows whole is normally 10 plus half its natural armor bonus with no modifiers for size or dexterity. Yeah, I have the AC of the inside, but that's a little different. He's not trying to cut himself off. He's trying to...

Why would that be different? That's his AC. He's trying to damage it. Yeah, so it would be a lower AC. Because he's inside, so it doesn't get a dex bonus he's inside well it wouldn't have a dex bonus anyway but anyway his natural bonus is going to be super high if i swallowed you troy which is about as plausible as this thing swallowing me if you're inside of me you could probably do a lot more damage than if you were outside of whether you

wanted to cut yourself out or not would it be be the inside AC with the hardness, or would it be the outside AC with the DR? I wonder what AC that Mississippi Pot Roast had hit tonight when it entered Troy's house. Well, it doesn't matter either way, because my sword bypasses its DR anyway. Right. But it wouldn't bypass its hardness. But here's the thing. I think adamantium, I think it does. But you're not trying to break it.

Right. But that's why The inside of it Has it's own AC And it's own hit points It's a whole different thing I'm going to say Regular AC Regular hit points

I'm reading from The swallow hole rules What are you reading? The swallow hole rules Yeah I'm reading it as well The interior The armor class Of the interior of a creature

That swallows hole Is normally 10 plus half It's just normally Matthew He's reading a specific creature A unique creature You're reading a general rule But it gave him I'm saying it gave him the exact AC. No, no, I have the AC and the hit points of the inside of the creature,

but that's if you're trying to stab your way out. Does it say that? Does it say if you're trying to stab your way out, this is the AC? Yes. The hit points of the creature are the hit points of the creature. Well, because in one hit, Jimmer's going to go through all the HP of the inside. So wouldn't that effectively cut him out? But you can't unless you have a light piercing

or slashing weapon. Fair enough. So it's two different rules. So I can either say, you know what? You're right, Matthew. So Jimmer, you can't attack it. Or I can say, no, Matthew, he's got to go against the regular AC, but I'm going to give him the full attack. I think if you do your 11, you're going to hit regular AC anyway. So I think you could just do two attacks at that and then

roll for the other two. This is the problem with first edition. A lot of these are just like, so I'm just going to make the call. It's regular AC against regular HP. It's going to be better for you in the long run. Okay, so first attack, I'm going to take the Touch of Law, and that is a 33 to hit. Hits.

Yes. There you go. Start cutting yourself out. And that is, yeah, so he's literally burning alive. And it's just like... Oh! Like stabbing desperately at the inside of this thing. It's horrible!

31 points of damage. 31 points of damage. You know what the funny thing is? Is when he dies, he'll die trapped inside of it. Right. According to the rules of Swallow All. Wow. Just throw my iPad across the room.

All right. Second attack. Second attack. I just throw my iPad across the room. All right. Second attack. Second attack. This is what it's like in there. I'm going to roll for this. That is a 30 to hit. 30 to hit is a hit. Okay.

Yeah, buddy! So smart. So smart. Worst mistake the writer ever made. I ate the wrong guy. 30, 34 points of damage. 34 points of damage. Okay. All right. I'm going damage. 34 points of damage, okay.

All right, I'm going to roll for my lowest bonus. Miss. And then I'm going to take the automatic 11 for the touch of law on the final attack. For the touch of law, okay. The hasted attack. For my hasted attack. And that is another 29 points of damage. 29 points of damage kills the right.

Yeah! Holy shit! That's amazing. Beautiful. I think you rolled in the right. Yeah! Holy shit! That's amazing. Beautiful. I think you rolled in the right because he is still considered grapple and I'm looking at the flow chart online right now. The defender may attempt any action that does not require two hands. Jim already said

he's using terminus test with one hand. Defender may attack or full attack with a light or one-handed weapon with a minus two to hit. Yeah. Perfect. So it is dead. Awesome. It's just fine. Perfect. Uh, so, uh, it, uh, it is dead. Awesome. And you are inside of it. Yeah.

Oh. God is dead and you have killed him. Is this a problem? Uh, it's not great, but, uh, it's Jimmer. Yeah. Okay. It's Dalgwith's turn. Dalgwith, you want to go pull Jimmer out?

Yeah. Is that, is that a feasible thing? Do I see, uh, some sort of latch? Well, you saw that he went in a huge hatch yeah wide enough to put giant jimmer inside on the side of its belly can i it would have been crazy to see like it gets it pulls me inside and he's just like he's trying to like dance like pop out of the side of it three times and then it's just like puff of steam out of its eyes and then like jome falls like the final one like hits whatever it's just like this big sword puff of steam out of its eyes and then like joom falls down the final one like hits whatever

it's like central processing mechanism yeah yeah just yeah like the blade at the point of the sword just like shoots up like out the back

of its I want to see the art of the rhino with the with like the little pointy sections of it getting yeah

I want to try to get Jimmer out okay you tell me you can go over to there it is a move action and then strength check to try to open that shit out. Okay. You tell me. You can go over to there. It is a move action. And then strength check to try to open that shit up. So that's the only option.

Yeah. That's a fail. Unless you've got some sort of, you know... Crowbar? Magic. The deadliest bar? Yeah. That's right.

You know that... You surmise from where you're standing that that's... You know that dealing damage to it isn't going to do anything? No. I mean, you're going to have to really hack away at that. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to spin around doing that, because I'm just going to say that's what he does.

All right. Then roll to attack it. He's going to try to... Oh, Jimbo! Get you out of there, brother! You know, I'll even give you an automatic crit, so just tell me what the damage would be. Oh, okay. Almost like you're doing a coup de grace.

Yeah, that doesn't matter. All right. So an automatic crit, and I have to deal damage, but is it going to be through adamantine and all that business? Just roll the damage. All right. Then that would be 17 points of damage. So you're like, back up, Jimmer. And it just kind of folds a little bit.

But not enough to break him up. Not enough to break him up. But you feel like you helped Jimmer, and now it's going to be easier for Jimmer to get out when it's his turn. Hopefully, as long as he rolls a successful strength check. It is Metra's turn. Metra, you have two fire giants up against what? Nine of you? How many are you?

There's eight of me. Eight of you. Okay. I'm going to roll to cast defensively. Cast defensively. I'm so nervous. Natural two are better. I have a bad feeling.

90-15. Okay have a bad feeling. Natty, 15. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, so... That's just so good. Will your two fire giants please roll a reflex save? Okay. Oh, I feel an AOE coming on. I was going to use the rhinoceros' reflex.

Exploding sorcerer. Reflex save. All right, the first guy rolled a 15. Fail. Second guy rolled lower than a 15. Yeah. All right. I think they're both going to fall into a hungry pit.

Oh, yeah. Hungry, hungry hippos, motherfuckers. Oh, my God. Wow. Okay. Wow. They're really good at climbing out of these, too. How big is the pit?

It's only 10 feet. It's 10 by 10, but they're both standing on it, and they failed their reflexes. Well, I guess one could slide in, then one slide in on top of them. What's the DC to climb out of this thing? DC 35. DC 35. All right, so the lieutenants have a better climb than your average fire giant. Yeah, but it was a lieutenant that died in the first hungry pit.

Yes, yeah. No, I'm aware. So one falls in, the other one falls on top of him, basically, in this hungry pit. Yeah, so it's a 60-foot pit, so one is going to take 66 points of falling damage. All right. Or is it 5d6? I think the first 10 feet is free. The first 10 feet is free.

Let's roll it again. We're having a burnout sale here at Matthew's Hungry Pit Warehouse. That's 18 points of... Bludgeoning. Bludgeoning. I'm sorry, 18 points of falling damage. Falling, okay. And then the second one, I mean, I'm assuming that Prone, the giant's about 10 feet high,

so maybe the second one takes 4d6 points of falling damage? Just give him the 5d6. I think you take the full 6d6. All right, so it's 18 points to both Or you want me to roll it separately for him No it's fine 18 points for both And then anyone in the pit takes 46 points Of bludgeoning damage each round as the pit contracts

But I'm assuming that happens on their turn On Muttar Okay and then I'm going to move over To the rhinoceros to assist In the getting of Jimmer out Okay So you move away from that to the rhinoceros to assist in the getting of Jimmer out. Okay. So you move away from that. Baron, what do you want to do?

Baron is hasted. So talk about shooting fish in a barrel. Remember, you can't stand on the side of the pit. Oh, that's right. Without having to make a reflexive. But you're so reflexive. Baron's going to walk up. That's one thing we've never done.

So you're going to hear, clang, clang, clang. Going to walk up. Going to do that reflex save. You get a plus two. Reflex save is a total of a 31. 31? You're fine. Okay.

So you're going to fire down. I thought it was the same as the climb check. Oh, it's the same as the spell? I'm assuming it's the same as the reflex save to avoid falling in. Oh, yeah, yeah. It makes sense. That would have been... That would have changed everything.

Well, like a natural one is like, he just vanishes into the pit with two shots! And he's invisible. We never know. They would be like, what is happening? The hell just landed on me? You ain't the first, and you ain't going to be the last to fall to Baron Ashby, Sheriff of True Now. Up close and deadly. Yeah.

Ooh, a six on the bullet die. I'd love to see a six on the bullet die. 36 points of damage. 36 points of damage on that first guy. Yeah. Ooh, doggy. It's their turn. Please give me the hungry pit damage,

Matthew. That is going to be ten points of hungry pit damage. Ten points of hungry pit damage. And it contracts and tries to, like, digest them. It's hungry. It's very hungry. Close to a thousand years. How gross. It is Jimmer's

turn. Jimmer, can you break out? Yeah, so I just keep doing damage to the inside of it is that what I have to do or you can do a strength check alright I'll try a strength check 14 14

you got it up halfway but you haven't used your move action so if Dalgrith is able to do a little bit more damage you feel like But you haven't used your move action So if Dalgrith is able to do a little bit more damage You feel like you'll be able to move out Am I still taking heat damage while I'm in here? No, it's dead now The fires are out

Dalgrith, do you want to try attack again? I will, yeah Come on, let's do this That's pretty decent That's pretty alright 15 points of damage 15 points of damage. 15 points of damage. Jimmer, you know you can get out next turn.

Okay. Metro, what do you want to do? Metro will... If it looks like he's going to get out, I'm not going to waste a spell trying to get him out. Hold on a second. I get multiple attacks a round. So if he could just get out next round

because he has to use a strength check... Take a swing at Metro? Or... No, I'm saying I could move. So if I feel just get out next round Because he has to use a strength check Take a swing at Metro? No, I'm saying I could move So if I feel like it's open So the Jimmer's like, I got it! You know he can get out now Alright, then I'm going to do the full compliment of my movement To start moving toward the pit

Okay So heading toward, to help Baron Baron, I'm coming! Metro It's invisible and I can't see it Okay, Metro is going to do a magic missile on the top fire giant in the pit. Okay, so you don't have to see him. You can just send it over there.

I don't think you have to see him, do you? Yeah, you have to be able to see the fire giant. You have to be able to see him? Okay, well, then I will walk over to the pit. They hit unerringly, but you need to be able to see him. Do you want to roll reflex to avoid falling in? Yes, I do. Fail, fail, fail, fail.

Come on, dude. Nine metrics just falling. Don't do this. Fail. Fail. Fail. What did you roll? What did you roll? I rolled a natural one. Oh my God! We'll see you next

week! Oh my God! Yeah! Metristew! The pit of her own making! Oh man, that pit's hungry, too! Mississippi Pie Rooms. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production

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