The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 234 - 50 Ways to Leave Your Lava

Episode Date: November 19, 2019

Deep beneath Ashpeak, Barron confronts a past he never knew. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's economy, saving money is like an extreme sport. Coupon clipping. Robo code searching. It takes skill. Speed. Sweat. Unless we're talking Kudo's new phone, internet, and streaming bundle. With the Happy Stack, you can sit back and stack up the savings on Kudo Internet,

a sweet phone plan, Netflix, Disney Plus, and Amazon Prime. All starting at just $99 a month. Stack more, spend less. The Happy Stack, only at Coo-Doo! Conditions apply. This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection, free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda.

It's made with pH- ph balancing minerals and crafted with skin conditioning oils so whether you're going for a run or just running late do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't find secret at your nearest walmart or shoppers drug mart today this week on the glass cannon, deep beneath the mountain. You hear sounds behind you. You turn around and things are emerging from the magma. Lies a bridge to the past. On the other side of the bridge is a wall with a pictograph story detailing the traditions of the Ashbeaks.

The symbol of the Ashbeaks taking up the majority of the wall in all of its glory. But the hero's attempts to cross it. Baron, I think, is still fixated on this mural. May spell their doom. The two of you are hundreds of feet below where your comrades are. And from behind you, these creatures are emerging from the lava. They are huge. Huge?

Like, literally huge. Huge. Huge. Huge. Huge. The adventure continues. I'm about to change lives! Now. What is going on, everybody?

It's your old pal, your old buddy, your best friend in the whole wide world, Troy LaValle. I'm sitting here. It's Saturday afternoon. I'm in the stude. That's short for studio. I don't have a lot of time to say the whole word,

so I just say stude. It's nice. I like being here alone. The sun's out. I'm listening to Christmas music because that's what I do in November now. I listen to Christmas music starting on November 1st, and nobody's going to stop me. Nobody's going to tell me otherwise. It's really nice. But I turned it off for a second so I could record this intro. Guys, we've got a lot of stuff going on. Did you get your tickets to any of the first five shows for Glass Cannon Live in 2020? Because they all went on sale just last week. They were on pre-sale on Tuesday, and then they went on sale to the Gen Pop. That's short for general population or populace. I wonder if it's populace, the general

populace. That's general populace to you. Anyways, they went on sale, and you should buy tickets to every single show. You should travel around the world and be groupie. Just come to our dressing room and have sex with Grant. No, don't do that. He's married. Friday, January 24th, we're going to be in Washington, D.C., our nation's capital, at the Miracle Theater. Friday, February 28th, we're coming back to Boston. We're coming back to Beantown, my hometown. That crowd was amazing.

We had no choice. Paradise Rock Club. And that is during PAX East week. So we'll be at PAX East all weekend, too. Going to be a good time. Saturday, March 28th. Holy shit. We still, this is the only one we keep talking about.

Not that we're not excited about the other ones. But we've lived in New York a long time. I've lived in New York 19 years. And we're playing the fucking Gramercy Theater. This is absolutely enormous. Please help us sell that show out. Because if we sell out the Gramercy Theater. This is absolutely enormous. Please help us sell that show out. Because if we sell out the Gramercy and sell it out quickly, they're going to have us back maybe by the end of the year. You want to do two shows in New York?

Help us sell out that theater. The Gramercy, Saturday, March 28th. And then Thursday, April 23rd, we're coming to Milwaukee. Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Turner Hall Ballroom. Two days later, that's going to be a busy Friday for old Troy. We're going to Chicago again. Lincoln Hall, Saturday, April 25th. I'm telling you right now, by the time you listen to this, that show might already be sold out.

Because the Chicago nation is out of control. I mean, on Friday, I think there were 35 tickets left. So they're probably all gone. That show's five months away. Might already be sold out. We are so excited about the tour. More cities will be announced very soon. We're signing deals. We're

locking down cities. So get excited. Next month, it's sold out already, but we're coming to Philly. Unfortunately. No, no. Philly's great. PAX Unplugged weekend. It's going to be a blast. We're playing Underground Arts. Sold out! I say unfortunately because Joe's from there. And so I don't trust anything that is at all connected to Joe. But I think it's going to be an amazing show. Last show of the year. We're pulling out all the stops.

It's basically going to be the Glass Cannon holiday party that night. And then Friday, December 6th, we're playing the main theater at Pax Unplugged. 8.30 p.m., the main theater. You just need a badge for Friday night. I think they're like $30 or something. They haven't sold out yet. Buy that badge. You can come see that show for free with the badge.

Plus, you can hang out at PAX all day. Jason Bowman is going to run the team and Eric Mona through something Pathfinder 2nd Edition. If you've come to any of these shows, either at DragonCon or what we did at PaizoCon last year, you know that it is a really, really good time. Things are heating up in Giant Slayer. I'm pretty excited about this episode, and I think you should be as well. So please sit back, have some eggnog. I don't care that it's still November.

Crack it open. Pour some Captain in there. And please enjoy episode 234 of the Glass Cannon Podcast. I've been known as many things in my lifetime, Grant. Award-winning actor. Wait a minute. Nope. Look it up.

Many accolades it's true i i know because troy has dropped that into conversation with me at least what award well sometimes lower east side honorable mention it's not about just listing the awards is it like the acting equivalent of a purple heart or something where he's like got hurt during like spider-man into the dark during stage combat yeah here's your fictitious purple heart i got hurt during, like, Spider-Man End of the Dark. Hold on. Got hurt during stage combat. Yeah. Here's your fictitious purple heart. I got hurt during stage combat class. Acting awards. Animal lover. I am a lover of animals, especially cats.

Actually, I don't like most animals. Only cats. You'd only hate other animals. There's no other animal you like. Fine, but they just can't compare to cats. Yeah. And you also, as Sk just can't compare to cats. Yeah. And you also, as Skid has pointed out on multiple occasions, you have no respect for them in the Pathfinder system.

No, no, no, no. Well, show me a good cat. Create a good cat companion, like a domestic Persian, and it'll live forever. Your focus is so specific. It'll live longer than Baron. Troy, you know, not to go on a tangent here, but you yourself have published, have created published creatures for Pathfinder Adventures. That's not an award.

I forgot to add. Published writer. Well, I wouldn't like Matthew. That's not true. Self-published. I would like to see. Listen, I get a $3.40 royalty check from Sam French every quarter. Oh, yeah.

Every quarter. Considering your lack of general respect for animals within the Pathfinder universe, I would love to see you come up with a stat block for a house cat. Oh, that'd be fun. I could do that. Yeah. Maybe like a CR one-half creature. Yeah.

All right. Award- do that. Yeah. It'd be like a CR one-half creature. Yeah. All right. Award-winning actor. Animal lover. Published author, unlike Matthew. Philanthropist. Wait a minute. How are you a philanthropist? When I'm not around, I'm at various charity functions, just wearing suits.

Listen, if you're not given, you're not living. That's what I always say when I'm giving speeches after accepting awards. Philanthropic events. You haven't worn a suit in three years. You wouldn't know what I would do when I'm not around you. Yeah, I don't want to know if you wear suits. Among those list of accolades, though, I can finally add foodie influencer. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Courtesy of the Mississippi pot roast. That's the only legit one. That's real. Sweeping the nation and the nash in. At least two of the people at this table have made it since I brought up. Grant, did you end up making it, or is it still on hold? Angel wanted to have, she wanted to cook that night.

She wanted to make a whole chicken with some vegetables and some Brussels sprouts, and she wanted to make some mashed potatoes that night. So I had to let her do it. All right. But Joe made it. I made it. And you loved it, right? Yeah, I loved it.

There's some things I'm going to tweak a little bit. But I loved it. Less pepperoncinis, because they burnt his little mouth. No, more pepperoncinis. Less ranch packet pepperoncinis because they burnt his little mouth. More pepperoncinis. Less ranch packet. Okay. It's just a little overkill.

You might just need more meat. I didn't need... Exactly. If I got more meat, I'd do the whole pack. How many pounds are we talking? I got like a 3.3. Here are three slices of deli ham. I already told Troy... This is too much ranch powder.

The trepidation I have around making my own Mississippi pot roast, it's that I'm going Instapot. I'm not doing eight hours. I'm doing an hour and a half high. Leave it to Grant to just do it his own way. It's fine. You could also do it eight hours in your Instapot. Just set it?

Yeah, you do it like a crockpot. That's the beauty of an Instapot. Well, let me tell you, the amount of photos that were flooding in to our social media our emails people just fired up about the mississippi pot roast as they should be and so i'm going to give you guys for one time only another surefire recipe oh god that i'm going to say right now better than the mississippi you have to stop you have better than the mississippi pot roast. You have to stop. You have to stop. Better than the Mississippi pot roast. And it was only a couple days later that my wife said, Troy, you are such an award-winning actor, published author, animal lover, and philanthropist.

Failed husband. Is that an award for that? These are just some of the reasons I'm leaving you. I'm going to shoot you the recipe for this next one. And you know what? Can you just make it and we'll eat it when I get home from work? She says, it's really easy. You just throw all this stuff in the crock pot. I said, sure.

If it's anything like the Mississippi pot roast, I can't wait. Well, let me tell you about this dish. Oh, no. It's so simple. There are going to be people who start at the beginning of this episode, eat it at the end. For our Midwestern listeners, they probably already know about this. There might be people sitting at this table that have had this particular meal. And there's a number of different ways to make it.

I'm going to tell you the best way. But it's called the hot dish. Who knows what the hot dish is? You'll have to be more specific. I'm about to change lives right now. Hot dish. No, wait, wait. Before you go into it, you are saying not as good as. Better than Mississippi pot roast. Better than Mississippi pot roast.

Okay. Might have been better the next day. Which a lot of people say about the Mississippi pot roast. Is it related to the Cleveland steamer? Is that... I don't think so. I think that's much grosser. Okay. And involves feces. Well, share the recipe. Don't be looking up.

Matthew's already cheating. You're like looking up the stats of a monster you're about to fight. It's not the same thing at all. It's a casserole, which typically consists of a starch, a meat, and a canned or frozen vegetable mixed with canned soup. A lot of people like to make it with hot tots. I call those people, or tater tots, rather. Hot tots.

I call those people fools. This is how you make a hot dish. You take two pounds, about four chicken breasts, okay? Throw it in a lightly oiled crock pot. Bone in? I don't like bone in because I don't want to be pulling it out when I'm eating. I want to be ready to go. Put thighs in there, breasts, whatever you like.

But all the extra flavor from the bone. Matthew, shut up. You put one can of cream of chicken or cream of mushroom condensed soup in there. Just throw it in this. Three quarters a cup of sour cream. Third of a cup of water. Ten ounce bag of frozen green beans. Maybe a little salt and pepper.

And here's the starch that I say you have to use. A box of stovetop stuffing. Oh. Throw that in there. Chicken stovetop stuffing, cream of mushroom soup, sour cream, water, frozen green beans. Let me tell you, it tastes like Thanksgiving in a bite. It is so good. If you like the Mississippi pot roast, never make it again.

Just make this. Do you ever think your wife is preparing you with recipes for you to feed yourself when she inevitably leaves you? That's probably what this is all about. I think that's what it is. Even you, Troy, could make this, she said. Right. But I'm telling you.

With the sodium content in these two specific recipes, I think she might be trying to kill you. It's a lot of sodium. Are you trying to kill the nation? Yeah, you're single-handedly raising the blood pressure. It's the end of the year. We don't have a lot of time. We've already given up on our weight loss goals.

We'll start over again in January. Just make yourself a hot dish. Set it and forget it. And then you'll have food for the rest of the week. Let me tell you. This is just chicken and stuffing. We call this chicken and stuffing. No, no, no.

Do you have cream of mushroom soup on there? Yes. Do you have sour cream? Water? Green beans? Yes, yes. You're full of shit. Not all at the same time. Well, you've got to do it all at the same time. But it's a casserole. You bake

it in the oven. No, no, no. With stuffing. Stop it. A jacket. Do it this way. A cream of jacket. Put it in the crock pot. Set it and forget it eight hours and you're just going to go in there and be like, I never knew so much flavor could come in a bite. Let me tell you about a little recipe I could call the Queensland quinoa. Cut his mic. Start with a could call the Queensland quinoa. Cut his mic.

Start with a good four cups of quinoa. All right. A couple slices of kangaroo flank. You went to a chicken dish? I'm telling you. From pot roast to chicken. It can be any meat. I just thought we'd be healthy.

Let me say, I have an instant pot recipe that I've used myself several times. Maybe next episode I will have an opportunity to share that as well. I have a pressure cooker recipe that I unfortunately don't anymore. Oh, the pressure cooker's going to be a deal. Joe has had this. I'm making me a lasagna in a pressure cooker. How would you make a lasagna in a pressure cooker? Joe has had this recipe.

You can make a lasagna in a pressure cooker. Let the man speak. Anytime he opens his mouth. I thought that was Matthew. I have to go through every Italian dish I can think of in that voice.

I made this for Joe on two occasions and then one time he called me for the recipe. That is true. That's true. I've made it

several times since. All right. Every episode from the next five weeks we'll give a recipe. We'll start next week with skids, and we'll end on Grant's quinoa dish. No, I'll give out my brisket recipe. Just tweet it. No, it's very good.

Don't give out your best secrets, Grant. Yeah, you shouldn't share that. Yeah, you're right. You're right. I want a hot dish right now. Last thing I want to do is play Pathfinder. I just want to eat a hot dish. But we've got to play Pathfinder.

We've got a story to tell. So let's get right back into it. I mean, there's a lot to talk about this app. You went on a, felt like, three to four app combat. I call it the Battle of the Great Stare. Because that's really what it was it encompassed two chambers and a tunnel a lot of back and forth a lot of teleporting a lot of giants riding uh rhinos mass hysteria and uh you came out on top you leveled up we haven't even

talked about the level up there's no no time. We're making hot dishes. You find Thun. You go back in there. Dalgrith goes back in there, finds Thun. Thun says, there's a gate at the top of this stair. It looks like it's locked. I have a feeling it separates this level from the next. By the way, I also heard some other things.

What'd you hear, Thune? Talk of dragons. They have dragons somewhere in here. All right, Thune, let's regroup. You go back to the room with Jimmer and Baron and Metra. And you talk it out. You try to figure out what do you want to do. And you start by combing over that first room that you ended up running away from when you chase that giant into the room with all those stairs. And you start combing it over.

You find out where all the traps are. And then you become intrigued by this sinkhole towards the north of the room. So, Metra and Baron, and in his own mind, Joe, climb down. That really tickled Matthew. Fly down this sinkhole, and you go down, down, down. I actually greatly regret not actually going. Because, you know, I'm thinking, it's like, he is so good. I was thinking about this in the re-listen. That he can't fall.

He can't even be halted for a round. What's your climb skill? I think plus 27. That's really good. Yeah, so he could just, and it has handholds, so you just go down. And be with you guys. You could climb down face first. Totally.

He's an incredible, like world-class climber. He's like the free solo guy. Exactly. But that's sulfur. Because it's rock climbing. You're like Peter Parkour. It was the sulfur breath. It was the sulfur smoke that Metro and I had so much trouble breathing that sent you back

after 60 or 80 feet. Right. But I thought that it was a mechanical thing. But it turns out it wasn't. It was just flavor. It's the flavor. I could go through Flav. Flavor Sulf.

You could go down Flav Sulf. But you didn't. You stood up there like a coward. And the two of them went down. Along the way, you saw giant footprints on some of the landings, giant footprints that didn't look particularly old. You keep going down, and eventually the room opens up. There's an orange glow.

You follow that glow to a river of lava. Magma. Magma. There's a bridge crossing over it. On the other side of the bridge is a wall with a pictograph story detailing the traditions of the ashbeaks, the symbol of the ashbeaks, taking up the majority of the wall

in all of its glory. So, of course, Baron is intrigued. There's a mosaic on it. Baron is intrigued, and so he flies forward with all haste. And Metra follows him. You get over there, and you see this story is about two groups, really.

Some that go up and bury their young with some sort of, or not bury their young, but bring their young to the top of a volcano, bury something underneath them, reminiscent of Baron's story. Others go up, supplicate themselves, and a dragon comes and flies off with a baby, very reminiscent of Adriel's story. You also see boxes all along the ground. But just then, you hear sounds behind you. You turn around,

and things are emerging from the magma. From there, we hear the howl of a wolf piercing through the evening air, underscoring the misty glow of the full moon hanging forebodingly over the shutterwood. Spine tingling.

Perhaps an alpha male warding off rivals from his territory, or in the best case, simply signaling his whereabouts to a friendly pack. friendly pack. Regardless, just as the wolves who prowl these umbrous sylvan hills, this wooded borderland situated between Ustalav and the world-wound remains wild, unclaimed, and untamed by man's advancement. In between howls and the hooting of owls, the Moutray River babbles along quietly. Now we see a dwarf sitting solemnly before a crackling campfire. He's cross-legged and his arms are outstretched so that his hands remain mere centimeters away from two candles flanking his sides. The demon skin war. It happened here. When I keep my eyes closed like this, I can see it happening.

It was a massacre. Adriel Ashpeak. Stares across the fire at a taciturn halfling lost in sadness. The halfling's gaze is fixed miles away yet boring directly into the log snap of the campfire. A look sharper than the finest blades. The look of Sir Willemette Keswick.

Thousands of Kellids slaughtered. All in the name of protecting Ustalav from the horrors unleashed from the world wound. In the end it did nothing to abate the demons. In fact, it made butchers of men. Those poor souls, they were refugees in search of asylum. They did not have to die. The dwarf allows the silence to hang in the air, high above them both alongside the silvery moon peeking through the wispy cloud puffs.

Minutes pass as the dwarf stares darts into the halfling, but their irises never quite meet. A standoff. The dwarf flinches. Royal decree! That's all it took for Princess Ordranti to spark a bloodbath. Another howl, this time near feet away from the camp. The halfling seals his eyes shut.

No. There's no howl at all. It's a figment of Sir Will's imagination. The paladin's brow furrows in pain. He's dreaming of Lexington again. Lost since the night was sent to the dungeons. Ah, so it would appear that the wolf does indeed have your tongue. Would that I were a raconteur like Lexington.

The dwarf sighs. Stay out of my head, Adriel. Adriel. Stay out of my head, Adriel. This tale of Kelid, what has it to do with us? A royal decree was all it took to give Bartholomew lordship over Highbury. And not more than a few words from his poisoned mind to have you imprisoned. And Benric killed.

The salted fowl spit-roasted above the flames of the campfire crackles. Creosote burns the nose of Sir Will, though it doesn't seem to bother Adriel at all. You'd need not remind me of what I've lost. I've lost everything. Not everything.

My home. My brothers. My brothers. My father. And where was I when they needed me? You were exactly where you were meant to be. I've seen it as I studied the contours of Kilpas' flames. You possess a strength that could shake mountains and crumble castles. If only you could see it.

No. No, I was fooling myself. A laughingstock in Mendev. Tolerated by the Knights of Ozem. And sent away home by the sheriff of Trunau. I was a fool to believe I could save Highbury. You're only a damned fool when you doubt yourself. You almost heard the tide against the scourge.

Against that? Against a wave of pure evil strong enough to topple Highbury itself? Sir Will rises, kicks the roasting bird from its hold above the flames. Sir Will, wait. Adriel stands, hands raised. The fire dances wildly, erupting

from the errant bird fat strewn about by Sir Will's outbreak. I came home only to watch it burn. You came home because you were meant to, because you had to return to her. Her? I said stay out of my head, you flea-ridden soothsayer. Pulling vague words from the mists behind my eyes is a clever trick, but it will not distract me from the truth.

Nor will empty phrases meant to make me forget how weak we are against the coming storm. This battle. I don't see how we can win, Adriel. In this errand. I feel a fool once again. She could not have survived. Sir Willibet Keswick. First of his name. Coll, collapses before the fire,

close enough for it to heat his pauldrons and singe his hair. You're scared, Willamette. Terrified, even. You can't even say her name in front of me. And after all this time traveling together, I declare that I am not afraid. It is seen. Her name is Sophia. She is your mother.

Were it not for her, you would have remained in the pit of ashes. That Brander turned your village into a crying babe., unable to feed himself lest else save the world. I have seen it, Will. If I cannot sway you now, Hillpath will not be saved. She will fall from grace and serve those who stand against the small folk of Galarian. If you don't listen to me now, if you don't see, the world is already lost. You're not the key, Will. You're a cog in a machine that cannot function without you. It will grind to a halting. This time, you will be to blame. Adriel crosses directly through the raging campfire, unadulterated by the white-hot flames.

He stands face to face with Sir Will. Sir Will averts his gaze. Slowly, steadily, he turns his face around. Sweat drips from his flame-kissed cheeks, dappling the forest floor like so much sunlight through the pines. But it is not daytime, oh no. The witching hour has arrived. And no tears, nor fears,

nor tears for fears fill the brave knight's face in this moment. Only resolution shines through. He wipes the sweat from his face before he resumes conversing with the ash-peak Oracle. I don't need you to tell me her name, Dragon Reared. And perhaps it is fear that keeps her name from my lips.

But it is fear of hope. The hope that she left my brother Benric to die for a greater purpose, the hope that she knows something she couldn't take to the grave, and the hope that she survived the undead. In the past, belief came easy for me. But no longer. I must see her. If you will not trust yourself, put your trust in me.

Your mother lives. Whether she makes her way home to Bronestone Manor, I cannot say, but she gave you something, Will. The grace of Shailen and the unconquerable will to survive. She lives. It is seen. Only a fool would believe you. No one could escape that. Doubt once again engulfs Sir Will's heart. The same doubt that has encumbered his body and soul throughout his journey with Adriel thus far. It drags his heart down to the depths of despair, just as the innumerable undead pulled Highbury down, stone by stone, Keswick by Keswick.

Mercifully, for the first time on their journey, tears fall from Willamette's eyes. You need not be an oracle to see the past. When I close my eyes, I see it again and again. The massacre. Yet another wolf howl bursts through the night air. It does not interrupt the flood of tears flowing from the brave knight. So many dead.

What would their lives have been had Branda not deigned to destroy my village? Would Highbury still stand if she hadn't pulled me from the ashes? If they hadn't given me their name? Again, Adriel closes the distance between him and Sir Will. Gently, he places a hand on the lost knight's shoulder. A hushing coo escapes the oracle's lips. Shh. I've already gazed into the flames, Sir Will.

Kilpoth showed me the way. It reminds me of a prayer I learnt when I was young. If they be divine, may they soar upon the wings of dragons. Should they be too brittle and ingot,

may they shatter into dust rather than live in ignominy. As it is said, it is forged. I may be cut off from my patron, but I will find the way back to her. I will not be shattered into dust.

And you, for all we know, you may be the last knight of Highbury. You cannot give up now. We will meet your mother. You will hear what must be heard. And then we will end this journey only to begin the final journey. The roads we will one day travel shall decide the very fate of Galarian.

day travel shall decide the very fate of Galarian. It is seen, but every journey begins with a single step, so let's begin tonight. Come, let's see your mother at Bronze Stone Manor. Adriel offers his hand to Sir Will. The knight accepts, finally on two feet again. And then, let's save the world. Sir Will lifts his chin and meets Adriel's eyes, his face now firmly set in grim determination. For Highbury.

For Highbury. Fucking Highbury. The Highbury. Fucking Highbury. Wow. Woo-hoo. Oh. And from there, we are whipped back into this hot chamber. A stream of magna, the very depths of Ash Peak. Baron, Metra, roll for initiative.

Oh, shit! Oh, my. I mean, really right into it. Critical threat, critical threat, critical threat. It surely is. Roll for initiative! Sorry. It surely is. Sorry. Metro, what'd you get?

24. 24, Baron? 24. Oh. Whoa. I believe I have the higher bonus. Yeah, I believe you do. All right, then.

Round one. Oh, my gosh. The two of you are hundreds of feet below where your comrades are. And from behind you, these creatures are emerging from the lava. They are huge. Huge? Like, literally huge. Huge. Huge are huge. Huge? Like literally huge. Huge.

Huge. Huge. Huge. They look like rocky monsters that are like glowing internally with orange embers. Red lights spill from their eyes and whatever would be a mouth and just fractures all throughout the surface.

They start lumbering towards you from the ground beneath you. Two others emerge. Oh my God. Borrowed from underneath the ground, they come up right next to you. It is Baron's turn. Baron, I think, is still fixated on this mural

and he sees what he understands, Baron's turn. Baron, I think, is still fixated on this mural, and he sees what he understands, at least from his memories, half of what happens there. But he doesn't understand the other half. Right. He doesn't understand what happens to the Divine, though. It puts his life out of his control to some extent. He snaps himself out of it, and he says,

Metro, I want what's ever in those boxes those boxes so I'm gonna do whatever you can and if not get us the fuck out of here and you're flying right next to each other 10 feet above the ground 15 feet above the ground well within reach of these creatures and so Baron's gonna delay until he can see what Metro has

up her sleeves besides more tattoos oh man Metro show us your slick sleeve until he can see what Metra has up her sleeves besides more tattoos. Oh, man. Metra, show us your slick sleeve. Well, before you... Do you want to do a knowledge check on what these are? Because that will inform... Do you need me to do said knowledge check? Would it be Dungeoneering, right?

I don't know what these are, so I don't know whether it would fall under. They are outsiders. That's like knowledge planes. Knowledge planes. Planes, yes. Oh, well, then I can do, but I don't know whether it would fall under. They are outsiders. That's like knowledge planes. Knowledge planes. Planes, yes. Oh, well, that I can do, but I don't have a great bonus. So if you have... I don't have planes at all.

All right. So can I first do a knowledge planes on the off chance I roll really, really well? Yeah. 18. 18. So close. So close. I will tell you they appear to be some sort of elemental.

But that's all you know. Okay. Had it just... If only it rolled a 19. If only. If only. I could have told you so much more. Do they appear to be a fire element?

They seem to have some sort of relation to fire. Right. Well, their stepdad is fire. Right. Well. Their stepdad is fire. How magma animus of you. Yes, how magma animus. Boo. Well, had they all come from the river of lava, we might have been able to do more stuff.

Right. I think we are at a distinct disadvantage at this moment, so I'm going to pull us out. You don't want to tough it out? As much as I would love to, I'm going to say no. These things. How awesome. They're very cool looking. Those tiny heads in the middle of that big mass.

It's like someone plugged the top of a volcano. And that's like what the face is. They look like nose tackles. Yeah, they do. They do. Yeah. Back in the old three, four days. All right, Metro.

What do you want to do? Would you say that we are 960 feet as the, if you drew a direct line through the ground back to where we were? Yeah, sure. Okay, great. Then I will grab Baron. I'll roll the cast defensively. Yeah, I hope you hit that. I have a, literally, I'd have to roll a natural one to fail this.

Just a one or a two? Be honest. I have a plus 24 on this roll as DC 23. Okay, let's see what you roll. Come on, Matthew. Natty 18. That would have been fun. So 42 total?

Was that what it was? Yeah. So what is your plan? Are you going to cast Teleport or Dimension Door? Okay. So Metric tries to do the knowledge. So what is your plan? Are you going to cast teleport or dimension door? So I metretrise the knowledge Can't really remember if she's seen these things before Other than the fact that they're elemental She'll grab Baron's arm

And then we will blink out of existence and reappear Right as that blink happens You see Baron's free hand reaching out To what was in front of him Looking at the mural in front of him, at what he may not have seen. Reaches out for the big dick, and then disappears. Longing for it.

Longing. Deep longing. And you're back, up with Thun, Jimmer, and Dalgrith. Yeah. And a little bit cooler than you were just moments ago. How was it down there? There are some huge elemental creatures guarding what looks to be a very interesting mural.

We were outnumbered and outmatched, so I didn't want to stay very long. And can she describe them as best she remembers to the others to see if maybe somebody else has knowledge planes? The creature? Sure. Somebody else want to roll the planes? Sure. You got a good six-second view of them?

Fourteen. Fourteen. I ain't never heard of nothing like that before. Man, it's happened a lot before, but I really miss Pembroke. Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. I really do. Yeah, when it comes to knowledge, you just want to have a wizard. Yeah.

Can't beat it. Or a bard. Or a bard. Or a bard. You say you see a mural down there, Baron. What sort of mural? What did it depict? I saw the runic symbol of my, well, I didn't always think it was my family,

but I was told later by an oracle that it was. And, uh, I saw some murals down there reminiscent of what I saw in the tomb of Nargrim Steelhand, but it was much more magnificent than all that. Told the story of what the Ashpeak did with their chosen children. The sacrifices their parents

had to make. And the trials ahead of the young babes. I think I went through one of those trials. As much as I can piece it together. But beyond the mural I saw something I hadn't seen. Since the battle for Blood March Hill.

None of y'all were there of course. That was a lifetime ago. But at the end of that battle in the. Boughs of another piece of earth, I found, with my friends, a couple boxes that had items meant for each of us. Items that proved instrumental in our journey up to this point. And though they may not be standing with us, I cannot help but feel to myself that something inside of those chests is meant for each and every one of us.

So I'll tell you, I'm fighting back the worst nature of a dwarf's greed right now. I want to jump right back in there right now with all of you and kill all those fire elements. I'm with you, brother. We must go. A box is full of treasure and a mural.

I'll get down there as soon as possible. Don't forget the mural. Did you know I could climb down there without no problem at all? Why didn't you join us? I went part of the way, but I got a little choked up. This time I can steel myself, squint my eyes a little, a little close a little more, and I'll make it no problem.

We'll have to be able to find a way to get Jimmer and Foon down there. Otherwise, we'll continue to be outmatched. Yeah, I think we're a little banged up. I wanted to run from a scrap, but we were banged up. I think we need to regroup, rest. It does sound intriguing, but I don't think we're in quite the shape. I'm injured and I'm not feeling myself. I'm still innervated.

Oh, right. Yeah, so I could definitely use a little bit of pick-me-up. Ah, and I think the mural itself will rest. Sounds like it's been there for quite some time, brother. Well, that's two things, though. Metro, did you feel like you got a good enough gander at this place

where you'd be able to bring us back right in there? I could. Dimension Doris, it's close enough. The second thing is I don't know what these things are, if they have any means of communicating with the head honchos here. I don't know if they're going to coordinate any kind of defense of what not. Them knowing that we're here and what we might be aiming at. So that's something to keep in mind, too.

I get the sense that they were automated sentries, but that's a good point, Jimmer. I don't know. We don't know. They had any means of communicating back. If only we had a brilliant wizard here with us. He could tell us a little bit something more about him, but we don't. I do miss Pembroke. Looks over at Baron.

Well, I think it's safest to believe that something like that is true, Jimmer. Which means we must move with all haste. Perhaps we head back to the stair room. See if we can see what's beyond that door. Enough to find a place to come back to the stair room, see if we can see what's beyond that door, enough to find a place to come back to. In the Metro, you can get us out of here. At least we could come back beyond that locked door. All right.

And then... And someone takes a selfie. And then Troy takes a screenshot. And then it's like, this is what the mirror looked like. Oh, man. This is why we turn around and Dune is just doing a selfie with all of us. This is for the grab. I want to remember this moment.

All right, so we're going to go. We're going to rest first, and then... Oh, we're going to go to the door, see what's beyond it. Get you a good look at it. This was the plan, Metro. I wasn't really listening. You must have forgotten when you got all that sulfur in your lungs. Well, that was the plan, but now should we come here first or should we go beyond the gate first?

Yeah. I think we should go first. If we're going to come here first, we should just leave now, go rest, and then come back and go right down there. Oh, I understand, but remember the mission wasn't to go beyond the door as much as it was just to see a place beyond the door to come back to so we don't have to fight our way through a locked door in case they redeploy in front of the stairs. Fair enough. Yeah.

So the idea was just literally open the door and hope. I mean, we had reason to believe that we'd be okay because it looked like a transition to an upper level so if we could just see the spot literally on the other side of the door we could then zip right out before we go off on this baron grabs metra by the hand not trying to stop her from her just getting our attention your hands off me don't slap him in the face please promise me that you'll remember this place right here so we can head back down if we need to. If time ever makes it right, I need to come back.

We'll go back, Baron. I can sense your interest. Also, you've been pretty obvious that you want to go there, so I'll oblige you. Of course. Sometime. Well, forget it. Someone once told me they'd always come back. Who was that?

She sounds great. No one. She sounds like she delivers great lines. Prescient lines. Prescient one-liners. I mean, depending on what we find beyond the door, we could also plant the spike there and do our resting there. That would give me an even firmer grasp

on that spot. There is some benefit to be taken from the forge of Minderhall, however, including iron skin, I believe. Stone skin. And don't forget, stone skin is, what, 100 gold every casting?

Or wait, did we say that the forge does away with the material component need? I think the forge handles that. But either way, I also, frankly, need to craft some ammunition. Oh! The truth will out! Let's check the Twitter

accounts! Ammunition! Well, either way, we should open that door and be ready at the door opening to just teleport out if there's some sort of danger right immediately there. Everyone link arms. Yeah. We walk holding hands in a circle. We are opposite the wizard.

The wonderful wizard. And we skip up the stairs. All right, so you leave this sort of maze of traps room and go back through that tunnel where Dalgrith chased that fire giant. Well, yeah. So long ago. Yeah. I mean, are we saying that this room is searched? Because we took 20 looking for traps.

We say it's sufficiently searched. Yeah. You don't see anything else in here. Maybe they're using the maze as some sort of specific training area. But at a certain point, the room was being used as a good choke point for trespassers. Okay. So you go down that corridor where you chased the fire giant and back into the room with the great stare.

Are you moving? I'm assuming you're moving cautiously just to make sure that new patrols haven't come in. So taking your time and moving up, you go up one level, another level, and another level until you get to the top of this room let's just go back to the map since it was such an impressive room here since we left so quickly yes i mean really oh it's awesome every time i see this room there's a rhino i want to hear like a gothic organ piece playing like the battle of the great stair took place here not so long ago and uh at the top of the third level is that ornate door now that you're in here

you also get to really look at the the statues of the the giant defeating and crushing the smaller races. Thank you, buddy. You got it, buddy. What do you guys want to do in here? Cautiously work my way up. Dalgrath will kind of head up each stair Yeah, he's just going to head up each stairwell doing general perception. Okay.

Baron will be like 15 feet behind him to allow for his superior stealth to kind of maybe save the day. But we'll be backing him up as best as we can. Yeah, I'm assuming that there's not going to be traps like on the stairs or in front of me, because we just fought a battle here. They were running all over.

So he's going to do perception more so way up ahead of him by the door, and then up in the walls and the ceiling, that kind of thing. Well, I don't know if we ever got up to the final levels, but... Actually, he probably can't even see that far. He didn't. Yeah, Metra can see when you get deep enough in, but... Thune, how far up did you go? Did you go all the way to the door itself, or did you just see it from far away?

Oh, no, I walked right up to the door. No traps, then? Right. None that I saw. Okay. Dalgrith will keep coming up. Yeah, so the only thing you see is the statues of the giant just crushing dwarves with his fist, crushing like ten dwarves with a fist, slashing humans with another hand.

Every level is just more gruesome and more gruesome. Clearly the fire giants revver this armored giant. I wonder who this is. You get to the top there, and of course the door is locked, but you have many keys on you that you picked from the pockets of captains and lieutenants. Did we do a knowledge check on this thing yet? On the statue? I don't think you did. Is it a statue, or is it like murals?

They're like scenes. But but yes they're three-dimensional so it'd be like by release would they fall under particular knowledge i could roll knowledge religion okay i'll roll that joe on the die oh oh brutal one zony uh no else has religion we should probably mention as a gift we got these. Charlie and Valentina. Thank you. Yes, Charlie and Valentina. Jim Dice with Joe on the one, instead of a one. So. Yeah, I mean, it looks very familiar to you, Baron. Obviously, you know, you would be able to put two and two together and assume that it's

Zerzvater. Okay. Ooh. That creeps me. Yep. Based on my childhood. And who is that? That's the fire giant god? Yeah. Z Sursvatar. Okay. Ooh. That creeps me. Yep. Based on my childhood. And who is that? That's the fire giant god?

Yeah. Sursvatar. Crushing dwarves and humans. Crushing angels. Crushing silver dragons. Another powerful good creatures. Can I actually walk along and just try to do a perception to see if there are secret doors along this mural. Because it would be under the floor above it, right?

That's feasible. There could be a little room or something. Sure. Can I do my own check for that, too, independently? Oh, shit-ass. Let's hear about Joe's check first. Fucking no. Nope.

We want to know. 18. Terrible. 92. 34. Yeah, 34. Really taking your time. 18. Terrible. 92. 34. Yeah, 34. Really taking your time. 36 with Stonecutting.

36 with Stonecutting. You don't see anything. No seams or anything. Yeah, no. All right. Hand me those keys. Who took them? Oh, wait.

I have them right here. Clank the clank. It falls on a crack on the floor. He'll do a... Not my AirPods. He'll do a perception on the door lock to see if it's trapped. Okay. 22.

22? Doesn't appear to be trapped. Two garbage rolls to start the day. Massive iron door. How many keys? Just one. All right, stem back just in case this is trapped. I'm not sure. And he'll put the key in put the first key in nothing try another key nothing the third key

sounds like me coming home on a Friday. You would need Jimmer to even help you swing this thing open. It is so massive. And just darkness beyond. Oh, wait, this is probably better. Oh, that's nice. Nice. There we go.

That's a big one. Jimmer, let it help. Yeah, Jimmer comes over. Nice. There we go. That's a big one. Jim, let it help. Yeah, Jimmer comes over. Jimmer, I can't. All right, yeah. Thanks. Swings it aside. All right. So we see that it curves a little bit around.

Dog Wraith will go up to the bend and sneak. It's going to look around the bend and see if he can see 60 feet in the dark. Okay. Roll perception. 22. Man, dude. Single digis today. All right.

All right. Yeah. You don't see anything or hear anything however uh you do feel warmth warmth like a higa feeling or do they're a little or like yeah emotional warm emotional you feel really warm perhaps some sort of forge You think about the stories that you'll tell when this adventure's over and you feel real warm. No, the temperature has changed beyond the door. Whoa. I think Baron will start, like, as soon as he can see Dalgrith look back at him,

he'll, like, wave him back and whisper to him, We got this far just so we know where to come back with Metra. I don't think we want to get ourselves into more trouble than we can handle right now with Jimmer not being in the best shape he's ever been in. Oh, no, I agree, but Metra, do you need to stand in the space? Do you need to come forward here? Yes. He's going to walk up a little

further. Keep an eye around the corner. Just try to keep a watch. I mean, it's pretty nondescript. You're going to have the same problems you ran into with the caverns before, but if you take some time, you'll have done your due diligence. All right, I will do that. Can we ourselves alter this hallway or add like a, I don't have it,

but like that magical glyph of warding or whatever that's invisible there? Is there anything we can do to make it, you know, more our own? Can we put in, like, a throw rug or an ottoman or something? Paint an accent wall? Yeah, can we, like, paint a symbol or something? You know, guys always want to paint rooms like navy blue and gray, but you want a pastel in there. It really brightens it up.

It does. It does, yeah. Does Mitchell have any sort of arcane mark she can cast? Do I have arcane mark? That's a good questionell have any sort of arcane mark she can cast do i have arcane mark that's a good question i don't have arcane mark with the teleport spell it's really about how clear your mental image of the area is so so adding those things i understand how it could help but you're really just you know the room with the great stair is going to be a lot clearer of a mental picture than a cavern that looks like every other cavern you've walked through.

And that's the difference between this bend and the stair. But obviously, teleporting back into the space with the stairs, you could be teleporting right back into the next patrol. Is the door memorable? Like, is the boss really on the door? Or is it on the walls? No, the door is pretty memorable in terms of size. Maybe I'd give you a little... I was like, if I study the door from the other side,

or this side, if there's something on it, that might be a little more... I was like, if I study the door from the other side or this side, if there's something on it, that might be a little more... Yeah. Again, you're doing your due diligence and I'm taking notes. I don't see you writing, Troy.

It's all up here. Yeah. Sure it is. It's all up here. We can mark the wall with chalk, if you'd like, if that helps.

I mean, I'm trying to look up in the spell if there's anything that affects your familiarity, but it doesn't seem to be in the text. So just hope for the best. This is interesting, though.

Apparently with teleport, if you can currently physically see it, that's only studied carefully. Wow. Very familiar is only a place where you have been very often and where you feel at home. Right. Familiar is only a place where you have been very often and where you feel at home. Right. So, like, the cathedral of Minderhall feels like that. Or the room at the inn.

Yes. Yeah. In Skelton. Yeah, in Skelton. Well, I don't know that. Pembroke. Yeah, Pembroke did. He really felt at home. He felt really at home.

The people who were staying there maybe didn't necessarily feel that much at home. He felt really at home. The people who sang there maybe didn't necessarily... Get out of my shower! We didn't localize it to the bathroom, but he did feel really at home. I just recently watched Psycho again, and just like thinking of... just manifesting in someone's shower. I'm so sorry.

It's like, oh, fuck me. Sorry. I remember we had Baron like covered in blood unconsciously? Just, like, popped into the room with a dead dwarf. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm moving along. I'm so sorry. Not your business.

You're going to have to pay for those from the minibar you get. You didn't see anything. We walked Baron out of there. All right. So do we want to go back to the forge so Baron can do his crafting? Crafting a crafterson? Yeah, so we can rest. Unless you guys want to take a peeks.

Take a peeksody. Why do you keep... Let's do our rest. We can talk about our level up. We can roll HP with Troy. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not going into another battle until we roll HP. All right.

Oh, yeah. there's that. There's that. I agree with that as well. That's smart. Take my hand. All right. We take Metra's hand. Back at the forge.

Why don't you roll me a D100? I would love to. And just... There have been so many of these, it's bound... Oh, fuck. 26. 26. Oh, fuck. 26. 26. Oh, yeah.

You're back at Minderhall's Forge, the place where your daughter died. That's true. That's a true fact. You see Farron? She's eating a hoagie. She's like, oh. I never know when you're coming. I'd have stuff for you, but I never know when you're coming.

I was just crushing a Wawa shorty. Wawa. The Thanksgiving sandwich from Wawa is available. It's only for a limited time. I got 17 of them. I love cranberry sauce. I love it. One of the giants that joined us ran to a Wawa and we stocked up.

Anyways, what's up? Ferrin's voice is changing. Yeah. Kind of just spawning Ferrin in here. How goes it in the volcano known as Ash Peak? Have you learned anything? I see that thankfully you have all survived. Aye, we're still alive.

We've just barely won our last battle, and we need time to rest and recover. It's a mighty dangerous place. We might need to take advantage of the forge one more time. Ah, yes, of course. That's what it's here for. Alright, well,

make yourselves comfortable, and feel free to introduce yourself to some of our new acolytes. How fair things here. Really good. Especially with these Thanksgiving hoagies from... I can't tell you how it's improved the morale of the team here.

Really does. We sound like we're trying to sly put ads on our show. We promised we never would. That's Thanksgiving hoagies from Walmart. That's just... Available only for a limited would. That's Thanksgiving hoagie from Wawa. That's just... Available only for a limited time. Six inch, $4.99. This isn't sponsored content.

That's just real enthusiasm. A true earnest love for Wawa. Who are your new acolytes? Would you care to introduce us? Ah, yes. This is McDonald's and Pepsi. How do we go from a regional... Oh, my God.

All over the place. Joe's spit-shaking. Who's Pepsi? McDonald's, another food place, and then fucking Pepsi. I can't decide if your relationship has actually been harmful for Troy's sense of self. Are those actually funny jokes, or are you just really enthusiastic, Joe? I think Pepsi's funny. That's inherently funny.

It's spelled... Hello, Pepsi! It's spelled P-E-P-S, first name, and then S-E-E. Pepsi, yes. There are two stone giants that have decided to join the cause. I love you, Pepsi. But please, make yourselves at home and know that you always have a place here to rest your weary bones. From what I understand, though, time is of the essence in your journey.

It always is, Farron. It always is. Dograe starts kind of stripping down all of the armor and weapons and everything like that. Imagine how much you stink. Oh, yeah. How sweaty and disgusting you are. And this is like, you smell terrible

after doing a bunch of, like going out on the Y and playing basketball. And you use deodorant. Right. Most of us. And you're not wearing heavy armor. Yeah, you're not wearing layers of metal and leather. And you are playing in a volcano.

The Y is not in a volcano. And you've had a bath in the last six months. Right. It's got to be vile. Vile. Do you have a bath around here, Ferrin? Yes, we've converted one of the rooms in the back to a washroom. So you can use it at will.

Dibs! And Dogwraith, like, runs off. No, not that door. Metro just dungeon doors out of him. And locks the door. Oh, she always does that! She's going to be in there washing her hair for hours! No, not that door. Metro just dungeon doors out of him. And locks the door. Oh, she always does that. She's going to be in there washing her hair for hours.

I thought you'd use all of those this day. Can I roll HP with you, Troy? Yeah, you want to talk level up? Oh, yeah. Level up. 14 for these characters of yours? Level 14. All right, let's just do a round-the-horn HP roll. Metro, what is your HP die?

D6. Oh, brutal. Obviously, the rule is you take the higher. If it's a tie, sucks to view, you take the number. What'd you get? Two. Five. Excellent.

There you go, bud. All right, there you go. Skid, what do you got for Jimmer? Oh, man. All right, D10. D10. There you go, bud. There you go. Skid, what do you got for Jimmer? Oh, man. All right, D10. D10. Come on, Jim, Jim. Ten.

Oh, baby. Six. You got ten, buddy. Oh, man, we need that on Jimmer, too. That's the one thing that he's been short on this entire time. He's had terrible HP rolls, so this is great. That'll make up for a couple. What about old Bear Bear?

This'll give you a little bit of a spoiler on my level 14 classes. The drum roll, please. Still Inquisitor. D8. Okay. Could've had a D8. What'd you get, buddy? Three. Five. Hey, nothing wrong with a five. That's standard

PFS level up. And Joe, what about you, bud? I am also a d8 d8 come on dogger uh right got my gcp go okay dogger what'd you get eight oh i got a six oh yeah wow two maxes wow nice not too shabu uh awesome all right metro level 14 I was going to say, hey, that's going to be devastating. Two axes. Wow. Nice, dude. Not too shabu. Awesome. All right, Metro, level 14, Sorcerer. Are we getting access to new spells?

Yeah, you. I fear for the lives of all my future creatures. You know what? It's about time. I felt that you were a little short on useful spells. Yeah. Me too. So what is that? Fifth level or sixth level spells?

Seventh level spells. Oh, my. Wow. I don't even think. Wow, what a huge level. I don't think I've ever cast a seventh level spell. Me neither. Or been in the room with someone casting a seventh level spell.

I don't think so either. Would you like to hear the one seventh level spell I took? Yeah, come on. Let's give it to us right now. Well, I also get one. Give it to me good. I get a bloodline spell, which is pretty awesome.

It's a power word blind. You utter a single word of power that causes a creature to become blinded. Whether the creature can hear the word or not. No save. No save.

What? Isn't there a power word kill? Or was that outdated? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think so. Power word blind. And they get no save. No save, but depending on their current HP, it affects them for different amounts of time. Oh, wow.

That's amazing. If you have over 100 hit points, then it's just 1d4 plus 1 rounds. And what type of spell it is, because there must be some creatures that are immune to that. It's a mind-affecting spell. Mind-affecting spell, okay. Well, there it is. Really cool. Once I hear that, then I know we're getting into advanced play uh okay nine levels sorry ninth level spell power word kill you utter a single word of power that instantly kills one creature of your choice whether the creature can hear the word or not

wow any creature that currently has 101 or more hit points is unaffected by power word you gotta just beat down a little bit. But there's no saving for that. So we just got to go to a first level town and kill all the NPCs. Just start killing NPCs every day. Fuck! Boom! But that's the thing.

Those Power Word spells, going back to first edition, those are the most those are like the most powerful like kind of quick deliverance spells it's just like boom no so cool powered stun powered sleep powered you know you gotta come up with a cool power word oh yeah i know what it is oh it is oh would you like to hear the other spell i took yeah it's called particulate form oh this is a good one i like this i felt i could have taken limited wish okay Okay. But for limited wish... Oh, you could have taken a wish! Well, we talked about this. We talked about it. We discussed this a little bit, yeah. It would have been 1,500 gold pieces

for every usage. A diamond worth 1,500 gold pieces for every usage. And the thing of it is, is that with limited wish, the kind of parameters of it are really up to GM discretion. So it's like, valueless with Troy. Yes. You're throwing 1,500 gold away.

It's a very limited wish. A very limited wish, yeah. They shouldn't have called it that. I took particulate form, which I thought was pretty cool, and fitting with kind of Metra's ethos. It's from the Magic Tactics Toolbox. Oh, jeez. This is going to be fun, weird, and

super powerful. The target's physical forms... I can do one creature per level, so I can do the whole party. What? The target's physical forms undergo a bizarre transformation. They look and function normally, but are composed of countless particles that separate

and reconnect to remain whole. Each target gains fast healing 1 and is immune to bleed damage, critical hits, sneak attacks, and other forms of precision damage. The value of the fast healing increases by 1 at caster level 10, 15, and 20. Any target can

end the spell effect on itself as a swift action, and then the target then regains 5d6 hit points and can attempt an additional saving throw against any one disease or poison affecting it. Oh my god! So you're basically immune to crits, immune to sneak attack, and you get fast healing 2.

Actually, I think fast healing 3, because I'm effectively a 15th level caster for these things. And you can just dismiss it at once and get 5d6 hit points back. What? So you can still be attacked, but you get all of those crazy insane immunity responses. Yeah, it just basically makes you...

Kind of like a construct. Don't we always get this wrong? Aren't constructs actually not immune to crits? They're not. But we instinctively say that they are immune to precision damage. I'm pretty sure. That I think is true. Feel free to write in and yeah uh we'll look

it up next time we fight a construct but uh wow yeah cool smell right that is very cool yeah all right uh what about you dalgryth uh dalgryth is um i got a rogue talent. That was my big thing this level. And I am pumped for this one. For this party? Are you kidding me? Advanced rogue talent I took. Opportunist. The rogue can make an attack of opportunity against an opponent

who has just been struck for damage and melee by another character. This attack counts as an attack of opportunity for that round. Can't be used more than once per round. Wow. So you get a free attack. I get a free attack every round that Jimmer hits somebody.

Whoa. That I'm also next to. I have that same, I have a teamwork feat that's like that, but I require someone to shoot and no one's shooting anymore. Used to be Lord, yeah. Or Nester. Or Nester, yeah. It was huge. Oh, that oh that's very cool yeah so that was a good oh yeah i forgot all about just like grant every time you nailed when i go yeah i totally that was amazing that would have been

huge we have to get the giants down fast yes no uh uh no yeah no it has to be struck for damage in melee by another yeah i was asking grant about his no no it's the same thing it has to be struck for damage in melee by another character. I was asking Grant about his... No, no, it's the same thing. It has the same caveat there. It has to be a ranged attack has to hit for me to be able to take my ranged attack. What about a spell? What about a spell with a ranged attack? That seems silly to me, but I'll check it out. Disintegrate.

It's a ranged touch attack. Constructs, by the way, are not immune to precision damage. Oh, cool. Good to know. Just mind-affecting stuff. Cool. Anything else? No, that's it.

That's it. Yeah. Bear Bear, new spells for Inquisitor? Baby, seventh level is kind of a big juicy laugh for the Inquisitor.

That's crazy to think that you have seven levels of Inquisitor. That's how long you've been going Inquisitor. So you're fully half and half now. Half and half. Oh, man.

I'm going to have some of you in my coffee. Yeah, really. I got Cure Serious Wounds. Boring. That's all right. But on top of that, because even more on Brandt, because of my wisdom bonus, I got a bonus level three spell to learn. So I took, are you familiar with a spell called Channel Vigor? Oh, I got a bonus level three spell to learn. So I took...

You familiar with a spell called Channel Vigor? Oh, I've heard of Channel Vigor. I have heard of it. What is that? Target is you, making it more Grant. Good. Not things. Still on brand.

Good. You focus the energy of your mind, body, and spirit into a specific part of your being, granting yourself an exceptional ability to perform certain tasks. You can change it each round as a free action. If I make it go to my limbs, I gain the benefits of a haste spell. If I go to my mind, I get a plus four competence bonus on knowledge and perception skill checks and on ranged attack rolls. On spirit, I get a plus six competence bonus on will saving throws and bluff and intimidate checks.

And on torso, I get a plus six competence bonus on fortitude-saving throws and concentration checks. How long is that? It is very, very cool. There's a certain cleric in a certain Patreon-exclusive game that has this spell just sitting in his deck that he's never used. It is a cool-ass spell. It's seven rounds. It's one round a level. Wow.

The other couple big things that happen is that I have three judgments a day now. A couple of my judgment bonuses go up. That's great. That's a huge upgrade. Especially when you can stack them, because you can just swift, swift, swift, and have three judgments active in a big, big combat. You know what's even better than that, though, Troy? What?

An item I got from one Urathosh failed leader of giants. Oh! The Bane Baldrick. The Bane Baldrick. The Bane Baldrick! Oh, that's... Look at what it's unlocked on my sheet. I just need to choose what it goes to. I've unlocked Greater Bane.

Whoa! There he goes. Man! He's got Greater Bane. So that's normally a level 12 Inquisitor bonus, but because the Bane baldrick lets me affect uh inquisitor abilities as if that is fucking wow big level for you big level can't wait for you to die yeah especially now that we really see adriel again like really cool character yes i'm fine

i think we're all fine with baron dying just so we can see adriel come in um baron dies we all die no man it's happening. This book. Oh, no. Spoiler alert. I'm killing him. This is the saga of Baron. You have to realize.

This really is. Giant Slayer is the saga of Baron. He's the only consistent protagonist throughout this entire thing. The life and death of Baron. The song of Baron. Oh, it's like, what's that Western movie starring Brad Pitt? Jesse James. Assassination of Jesse James by Robert Ford. Yeah, it's exactly like that.

Yeah, that's what it would be. The life and death of Baron Ashby, the giant slayer story. What about Jimmer? Jimmer, the main thing is he gets a feat. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Combat feat. Yeah, he gets a combat feat, and he spent it on bleeding

critical. Which I feel like may come in handy. Wow. Whether you score a critical hit with a slashing or piercing weapon, your opponent takes 2d6 points of bleed damage each round on their turn. Oh, God. In addition to the damage dealt. So much bleed damage.

How much is it again? 2d6. Wow. We're only fighting constructs it again? 2d6. Wow. We're only fighting constructs from here on out. Wow. Okay, good level. Good level for everybody. A little something for everyone. Level 14, my goodness. How many levels will this go to?

Well, what is expected? Because you guys have said this in the past, but you don't usually go all the way to 20 on a six book. No, I think Wrath of the Righteous goes to 20, right? It was the first one to go to 20. But they'll tell you. Can you say what the suggestion is?

I'd rather not, just because I don't know how this is going to... Well, I've already said too much. But you're... What's the average? I'd say the average is somewhere between 16 and 18. I don't think that you're being overly sharing by saying, we have added a lot of side stories and other things and combats that could happen here that could definitely go beyond what would have been in the book.

There's a lot going on. I don't want to say too, too much, but I will say you have some levels to go before the end of our tale. Okay. I can say that one thing I was unable to take which i wanted to at this level is a prestige level which by the time i figured it out i needed x number of ranks and different skills and i'd put them more is it too late now you could never get it i mean because you told me what it is i think it's so cool but i think if we get to level 20 i could but i but I don't think Baron will make it there anyway. So maybe I'll just re-roll my last character as that prestige quest.

Perfect. So you guys are hanging out there. And what is sort of the plan here after you're spending the night, obviously, to heal up, to really embrace these new levels and learn these new skills. Do what you need to do at the forge. And what is the plan? Are you going to go back behind that gate and start exploring the next level of Ashpeak? Or are you pulled by Baron's connection to what he saw in Deep Ashpeak? Deep Ashpeak is my vote.

I think Dalgrith is pulled by Deep Ashpeak. I think Dalgrith is pulled by Deep Ash Peak. Yeah, I think their Jimmer is willing to go with the majority, one-handed decision, basically, while we're here. And yeah, so he's down with Deep Ash Peak. Deep Ash Peak. And so we'll stone skin up and then teleport back and then dimension door ourselves down into Deep Ash Peak. Quick question.

Do we have any means of removing this innervation? I think it's just restoration. Hold on. No, it'll end. Hold on, I'll read the spell. Oh, you were the only one affected by a long-term, like some sort of spell or a drain? Yeah, I got innerervation cast on me.

You regain the lost levels after a number of hours equal to my caster level. So after 13 hours, you'd get them all back. Oh, okay. Then that's, okay. So we'll chill out then. Sounds good. So maybe we'll take a, we'll let ourselves get up

at like leisurely 8 a.m.? Yeah. I love it. We're sleeping in. What a real fantasy. Get a late brunch, some bellinis. Get suited up in our stone skin and then see what happens. I also looked up the value of one of the items we found out there,

the plus one frost wounding battle axe, which is about 32,000 gold pieces. I'm just going to put a mark on here to take 600 away from that, unless we can sell various incentives. Baron's going to spend 600 gold. That you don't have? To craft about 100. That you don't have? I mean, we can do it however we want.

Do you need to borrow some gold? Oh, we should also take the time to resize all the giant-sized magic weapons that we found. Right. Hmm, I could use some new shit. Yeah. Oh, sure. Yeah, we could give. I only have plus one greatsword and, I believe, crappy armor.

Let's see what we got here. We could give him the plus one wounding battleaxe. Plus one frost wounding battleaxe. Yeah, I just have... That is a badass. That's a plus four axe. But a chain shirt. I kind of want to. That is a badass. That's a plus four X. But to change it. I kind of want to take that metal X.

One of them. Roll off, dude. Come on. Come on, dude. All right. Oh, my God. You are the greatest melee combatant. You know what?

Let's just see. I just want to see. I just want to see. You beat me. Joe. Joe on the die. Oh, you did? I rolled a four.

You know what doesn't earn interest? Like, if you just keep it, like, stashed here, he can't help himself. It's not a T-bill. I have a dwarves greed! It's been a sec! So what do you want? What kind of armor do you want? He's a rogue, so he doesn't want any of this half-plate, right?

Whoever's wearing the best armor, I'll take that. There's some plus two half plate. Oh. I think that's the most powerful. Yeah, all those giants are wearing pretty chunky armor. Hmm. I think we gave him the plus one chain shirt because we wanted him to stay rogy. But a regular chain shirt.

You can have a plus one? Well, I mean, we can just give it to him. We can give him the plus two. The plus two half plate. Well, I mean, we can just give it to him. We can give him the plus two. The plus two half plate. Well, I guess he's not going to be proficient. Is this one shared with me? And have you unshared it with Joe so he doesn't delete it permanently? It's not shared with anybody, but I can share it with you all.

I can wear half plate, I think. But do you want to? But do I want to? Well, sure. I mean, you don't really play him like a rogue in the traditional sense. It's not like you're using weapon finesse and light weapons or anything. You're already using a greatsword. Right, right, right.

He does have weapon finesse, but I don't use it. Yeah, how often is that armor check penalty really going to bother you? Yeah, the way Thun's kind of been playing as a tank. Tank with very low HP. Oh, no, we have a plus two change shirt as well. Oh, perfect. I thought we already gave you something like that, though. Hook that shit up.

No. So you want me to take that? Yeah, resize it. Yeah, do that. I'm just going to mark this. I'm going to assume that by the time we get back to selling stuff, we will have resized all of this. All right, great.

So Thune will take the plus two chain shirt. That will give him a nice little bonus but still keep him nimble. And then your plan is to head straight into the belly of the beast and just appear at that bridge. I mean, I guess we could what's gonna is that gonna be uh what what would you say that would be the studied carefully or oh i don't know why don't you try it and see what happens oh dear i'm just trying to understand our level of risk right right well there's always risk when you're teleporting with these magics. There's great risk, man. We spent time looking at the room at the top of the sinkhole.

So I would say that would definitely be a studied carefully. And the sinkhole is much more unusual than, yeah. Let's say you're somewhere between seen casually and seen casually. So it's a 1- 1388 to go directly. Studied carefully is a place you know well, either because you can currently physically see it or you've been there often. Now, if you say twice as often. Plus, twice plus some studying.

Plus some studying. Barron's play. Why don't you just roll a D100 and see what happens? Well, this is the question. Do we want to go to the room and all get ourselves down there, or do we just want to appear at the bridge? I'm nervous about this whole thing. Saves us spells.

Yeah, I think we should go right down. If we're going to go, we should go, like, right down there to just... But not on the bridge. That was wood. Not on the bridge. On the other side of the bridge. All right. Where were we stopped?

By the... And we have the same chance of failure as teleporting the top of the sinkhole in there? I think that's what Troy is suggesting. Okay. Just double checking. What do we get? What kind of stone skin do we get from the forge? Well...

Just stone skin. Ten. Ten. A hundred hit points. A hundred hit points. That's what I was asking. But we all don't get it. We get, I believe, it's a number of charges.

It gets ten charges a day. Stone skin is three. So at most three of us get it. So three of us get stone skin. I'll take it. I think Jimmer should definitely have it. I'll take it. And I kind of think I should have it I think Jimmer should definitely have it I'll take it And I kind of think I should have it too

I don't have mirror image I can't teleport all over the damn map Damn map Damn map He called it a map That's what I call the battlefield I'm on a map He's been drinking all night

Fine If you want it you can take it No no I'm just saying like you know if die, you're stuck in the fucking volcano. That's true. So. Okay. Noted. No, no, you have it.

Are you sure? You take it. Are you sure? Sorry, I'm not listening. Who's getting the stones again? We're putting two charges. Let me point out, I don't care. There's three charges.

We're putting two on Thun. Two on Thun. And one on thune and one on dog i agree and i'll take his gun too uh dog riff jimmer baron baron oh okay all right so we've got one charge left right yeah so i was thinking looking at uh archives of ne I've got to give him a shout out. The best. The very best for looking up items. I like it anyway. We could give Bull Strength for 20 minutes to Thune. Or a magic weapon.

Does anyone have a weapon that's not magical? I think he's got a magic weapon. I do have a plus one greatsword, thanks to the team. Plus one frost wounding. No, you have to get the plus one frost wounding. Oh yeah, give him a sweet battle axe. Give him a sweet battle axe. Awesome. Right. Plus one frost wounding. No, you have to get the plus one frost wounding. Oh, yeah. Give me that sweet battle axe.

Give me the sweet battle axe. Awesome. Yes. All right, yeah. So I got bull string, so I'll do that at the last second before we're ready to teleport. Before we're ready to go. And to be clear, Baron has crafted more ammunition. I just want to be very clear.

600 points. It's on the sheet. It's gone. All right, so we'll say the Jimmer and Dalgrith and Baron are toiling away at the forge, getting their stone skins. Thune is waiting his turn while mingling with McDonald's and Pepsi in the corner, sharing stories. I want to point out that those are spelled differently, and that's not copyright infringement. I also love that McDonald's exclusively sells Coca-Cola coca-cola it's true well in this world they don't get along they're all friends it's a star-crossed romance and while this is happening metro you're

just you're you're maybe you're thinking about uh casting teleport and uh you've seen that room you know what you're in for or have at least a sense of what you're in for um and you've seen that room, you know what you're in for, or have at least a sense of what you're in for, and you're wandering about the cathedral, and something sort of draws you towards the front portion, right near the stairs leading up to the dais. You're just kind of wandering over there and I'm sure by now you've talked to

the people in your party Baron particularly maybe pressed on him to know more about what happened to Della and it's like you hear this whisper on the wind whipping through the cathedral, just calling you over to this spot on the stairs where Della passed. And right as you stand there, there's probably still a stain on the floor where that hammer from Earth Ash crushed her chest.

They probably tried to scrub it out from the step. Right. They don't have Coca-Cola. Right. You still see the stain that's been wiped away as best they could, and your whole vision in that moment goes black. And you just

hear a voice. Let it go. And we'll see you next week. What? Let what go? Let what go? Oh, man. I'm frozen in place.

Thank you. Let it go. Let it go. What was it? I don't know. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015. Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo.

All Pathfinder images are property of Paizo and are used with permission.