The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 235 - Lava's a Battlefield

Episode Date: November 26, 2019

The heroes head back to Deep Ashpeak hoping to uncover secrets of Barron's past. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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It's made with pH balancing minerals and crafted with skin conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. Metro feels pulled towards an area of the cathedral. A mysterious message reaches the party.

The voice says, let it go. Let it go. But unfinished work awaits. All right, let me just... I just want to go on record saying, I'm nervous about this. I am too. We all are.

There's lava monsters. You guys seem so confident. Who's confident? There's lava monsters so confident i'm not who's confident there's lava monsters in there in a world of lava waiting to kill us and eat us so the heroes ready themselves for battle he knows that the best chance he has is to be true to his training be true to his routine one two three well you know i got your back And any giant that's trying to cut you down, I'll be quite literary on his back as well. And launch themselves back into the fray.

We have a mission, Baron. We do. The adventure continues. I can roll a D100. Now. What's going on, everyone? It's Grant Berger, a.k.a. Baron Ashpeak, and I want to wish you a happy Thanksgiving. I'm thankful that Glass Cannon Live Chicago sold out already five months early. You better make sure you get your tickets to D.C., Boston, New York, and Milwaukee.

We also have a treat for you this Thanksgiving. We're doing our first ever black friday sale this week everything in the merch store will be up to 50 off including a bunch of overstock shirts that have never hit the store that sale starts this friday november 29th at midnight eastern time and goes until cyber monday december 2nd at midnight all right my last gift to you this thanksgiving is to keep this brief i hope you are able to find the dry ranch packets for your mississippi pot roast enjoy that delicious garbage as you sit back to enjoy episode 235. It is Thanksgiving week here in the studio, here for the app. Hope you have some stuffing left over from the hot dish.

I'm excited. I'm excited to get fat and really hate myself. That's what the holidays are all about. Self-loathing and like, why did I do this? Why did I eat until I was physically ill? I am often like incapacitated after dinner. And I'm like, why did I do it again? The same mistake. As gravy is leaking out of your mouth why did I do it again? The same mistake every year.

As gravy is leaking out of your mouth. Why am I still eating? Coming out of my ears. As I'm yelling at myself. I like that you guys have to wait for the holidays for self-loathing. Yeah. Yeah, you're an all-year-round sort of self-loather. I don't discriminate all year.

What do you hate about yourself the most, Matthew? I mean, there's so many things. I mean, one an outsider could choose. A cornucopia of things to hate. Appropriate for this holiday season. A real baker's dozen of just stuff to hate about you. I mean, I'm just really surprised I keep coming back here for more. Yeah.

Yeah. I was really surprised. If you had any self-respect. Right. At all. You'd move on. You would have quit in episode 12 I wish I could quit you

You would have You would have come here with a gun What? Jeez First Cut That got Thanksgiving dark Wow

Yeah Showed up While we were recording With a gun Why did we invite Uncle Skid To the Thanksgiving Let him say one more thing About my Italian heritage

No Matthew really What do you hate about yourself The most Tell us Let him say one more thing about my Italian heritage. No, Matthew, really, what do you hate about yourself most? Tell us. Let us know. I wasn't lying about what I just said. I know, but what do you really hate about you? Besides your weakness and having to come here. Is it your face?

You don't like the face you see in the mirror every day? Why do you think I grow the beard? You're hiding. You're hiding behind a... I'm hiding my insecurities about my own physiognomy yes hiding that olive oil skin unfortunately i don't have the look of the olive oil skin only the greasiness oh the greasiness yes you are quite i'm pale pale and shiny and shiny well i don't want you to hate yourself because we love you and the nation loves you and it's Thanksgiving and I'm thankful that you're in our life and I'm sure everybody listening is thankful that Matthew Capitacaz is in their life. What about you, Grant?

What do you hate about yourself? Oh, my God. There wasn't another shoe there. I thought I was holding my breath waiting for it to happen. No, that's it. I want to know what Grant really hates about Grant. It is Thanksgiving, after all. This is our family tradition

we go around the table and say something we hate about the self-hates i hate that i've been able to withstand all these awful years sitting across the table from you troy that way that i've same hate it's the same thing we're the same person that's why we love each other you do seem to have certain issues in common yeah or one at least size yeah oh him troy oh yeah that's him yeah yeah well we love you grant i hope you have a nice thanksgiving lots of sauce cranberry sauce and turkey you like a dark meat or a light meat i'm a white meat guy yeah you are but it's uh it's it's it's great because because my wife and all of her family prefer dark meat. So I get to eat all of the breast meat on the turkey.

That's nice. But I have to bring the pumpkin pie. And that's another thing that no one else in the family besides me likes to eat. So I get all the pumpkin pie. I like pumpkin pie. You like eating the stuff that other people don't like. That's smart. Then you get to literally corner the market on it.

I'm a dark meat man myself because it's the only true meat it's the better on the turkey yes if you like flavor uh you go for dark meat not if you put on like some uh some stuffing on top of it some cranberry you do anything you want to a bite of everything it doesn't matter you take white meat drown it in gravy yeah sure it's eatable right yeah that's why every restaurant on the face of the earth charges more for dark meat because everyone it's everyone just clearly agrees that it's the better of the two meats. Do you know that a preponderance of the dark meat produced in this nation gets exported to Russia and China? Really? I didn't know that. No, it's much more popular there.

It's a delicacy. Much more appreciated there. Well, it's because in the 70s Like there was the whole White meat is healthier Lean meat is healthier Thing that went on It is It's just

Yeah but It's negligible Compared to what it What it actually was Advertised to be Are we doing recipe things No it's skids week For recipes

It's skids week Yeah I do have a recipe You don't get your I was just gonna tease That Matthews We can keep holding on Matthews Is dark meat related.

Oh. All right. So a little foreshadowing. Yeah, okay. I yield the remainder of my time to the Italian. Not prepared. No, Skid, you do it. I think I know Skid's because he's told me what to do before, and I just haven't had the courage.

Yeah, I have. Lay it on us, Skid. It's called Crack Chicken. That's it? Yeah. skids because he's told me what to do before and i just haven't had the courage yeah i have it's lay it on us it's called it's called crack chicken that's it yeah wow um and uh it could be done with uh it's chicken white meat or dark meats whatever you prefer right or wrong so it's basically it's pretty simple. It's a couple pounds of chicken, six to eight slices of cooked bacon, turkey or regular. Ranch seasoning. I like the sound of this. Ranch seasoning, which we all agree is amazing. Eight ounces of cream cheese.

Sure. Half cup of water and a cup of cheddar cheese. There it is. And you sear the chicken. You mix everything else up together. You cook it for 15 minutes. And it is spectacular. I bet it is.

It sounds really good. 15 minutes in a pressure cooker. What do you serve it with? Usually rice. Okay. Yeah, usually rice. Can you dip a little cracker in there? Can you put a little chip in there?

Yeah, sure. So the chicken, you can pull it apart after it's done in the pressure cooker. Oh, that's nice. Oh, my God. We need to have a real potluck dinner here at the studio. Yes. We never do anything fun. No.

We should do something fun here. Not at all. Just line up the Instapots. Just have like five Instapots going. Speaking of which, we got a fantastic gift From a member of the nation Get out of here Yeah, Mr. Jay Knight Mountain Primal Meat Company

Ooh, thank you, Jay That's the guy from Knight Rider Yes That's the guy who owned the company, Knight Rider Invented the car Invented the car No, Jay, thank you so much Sent us an awesome box of frozen meat

Oh, yeah That we all pass out to each other steaks and chops and and ribs and sausage in there yeah yeah matthew was just bathing in raw meat yeah jay sent a really nice letter he actually did and he said matthew i'd love a wonder bread he said i tried to hand it to matthew and matthew tried to look at it. And then like I dropped in his hand and it fell deeply. Matthew was like, what is this? This is another fan letter. He just threw it away.

I don't have time for these. Spitting this direction. I have work to do. Jay sent, I believe it was a 1924 silver dollar. Yeah. On the back of the letter. On the back of the letter. It's because it's got the Lady Liberty on the front and an eagle on the back.

And he said this, and he said it felt like Ferraz to him. And he thought I could use it as a D2. Oh, nice. We got sustenance. Yes. But you got a coin. Valuable sustenance. He singled out the pork shoulder for me because I've been known to.

Because that's what your nickname was in high school. Pork shoulder burger. Old pork shoulder burger Watch out for him That guy smells Like a pork shoulder But no Yeah I've been thinking

About the potluck I think I'm gonna bring My barbecue smoker Into the office Yes Let's open all the windows Hopefully we won't die Of carbon asphyxiation

My landlord's gonna be So pissed Yeah No but Grant said it Like we have all these Sausages in there and he was like we should get together for like maybe during an app yep and cook up all these sausages and i was like that would be awesome in the back of my head i was like never gonna happen if we

invited people in here we could have tailgates before like uh we record yeah just like what do you guys do today we were tailgatingating The GCP episode 310 Can you imagine Just out on 23rd Avenue The cops are like Get the fuck out of here What are you doing Beer pong And solo cups

Get out of here I just love the idea Is it okay from the mob On this Get the fuck out Will Greece make it Into the Euro finals Euro cup finals

That's always the question When you see a big street party. Yeah, I know. Is Greece in the Euro Cup finals? Is there a major international European sock tournament going on? Well, we learned about Cracked Chicken. We learned that Matthew hates himself, and Grant hates Matthew, and they both hate that they've spent a couple years doing this. They both hate this project. They both hate this project they both know this project i like the project i love the project it's the people the

people involved really person yeah usually people are like you know it's it's the people that i love if it's the opposite it's like i enjoy the work it's just the people we make that our mission here at the glass cannon work the people i can't stand well i hope everybody has a wonderful thanksgiving and um and that you enjoy the people that you work with we've got an episode to record uh so we left last week you guys uh you get back to cathedral you uh you meet pepsi and mcdonald and you forget about that forgot about pepsi yeah i think you two stone giants i think you forgot about the cease and desist again it's p-e-p-s and two i's with a some sort of accent um and it's mac donald m-a-c

um it's like the McDonald's. They've got the gold arches, I've got the gold arches. I've got to watch this. They've got the big Mac, I've got the big Mick. The cathedral seems like it's doing well. Things are happening there. They're starting to clear out some of the rooms that were being used for other things and starting to make it

their own. You're gearing up now newly leveled, to head back to Ashpeak. Hopefully, if your teleport works, fingers crossed, to take you into deep Ashpeak in this room that is full of symbology of the Ashpeak clan.

It's the closest Baron has ever been at this point to perhaps discovering a little more about who he might have been. As Jimmer and Dalgrith and Baron are getting prepared to be stone-skinned to harden themselves before the battle ahead and Thune is going to get bull-skinned, to harden themselves before the battle ahead, and Thun is going to get bolstering. Metro feels pulled towards an area of the cathedral,

an area that I can't imagine she doesn't know is where Della died. Don't you think you would have asked, Baron, like, show me where? The first time you came to the cathedral. I don't know. You don't think, like, show me where? That's a bit macab show me where that's a bit macabre yeah i want to know how it happened where it happened well either way you get pulled over there and as you're pulled over there these

whispers on the wind you see a stain on the floor a stain the skid said it looked like it had been tried to be cleaned but there was not enough solvent to get it fully out. And in that moment, you must put two and two together. Something is drawing you to this spot. And you hear a voice as you are surrounded by blackness of blackness that is all too familiar to you from your years spent in the Shadow Plane. The voice says, let it go. Let it go. You are on a fool's errand for revenge, my dear.

And revenge is the path to certain death. It's a fool's errand for revenge, my dear. And revenge is the path to certain death. Your allies... Your allies may be strong, but they lack true wisdom. Why, the one that leads you made an error that has reverberated throughout the land to this very day. You may win battles. But the war, the war that rages on within you, will be lost. Someone once told me, right on this very spot, in fact

That this world is a cruel, dark, and terrible place I couldn't have agreed with her more But then she asked me If I were to steal all the good from it, then what am I living for? At the time, I didn't think much of it. People often speak with poetic bravado just before their lights grow dim. But now, now those words,

along with her feisty spirit, echo through me, and have taken on greater meaning as time has passed. So I ask you, Metra Naan, if you continue this fight, destroying everything that stands between you and I, then what are you really living for? Let it go, Metra. Then, and only then, will you ever have the chance to look into her eyes again. And you're brought back to the present moment just staring at this faint red patch on the stone.

What's going on in your mind? Now I'm drawing a complete blank but i've i haven't seen brander before i've only heard about him right you've never seen this is the first real contact i've had when you came to um skier guard along with jimmer on uh the back of an Eagle from Silvermane. God, this story is so long. So long. Remember when you flew on an Eagle with Jimmer at a skier guard? Hold on.

Let me give you, let me just summarize Silvermane. I need about 15 minutes. Okay. So he, it's going to be 25 minutes or three episodes. Baron had just moments ago, had a moment,

one of these sort of waking dreams where Brander spoke to him and left a scroll, a very wet scroll that was in a jar. A sopping wet scroll. It almost looked like a potion at first. The scroll was so wet.

One could be forgiven for mistaking it for a potion. Right, if you looked at it with one eye squinted. Once we took it out and put it up on the clothesline. Right, sure enough, it was a scroll. It was a scroll. A scroll of plane shift. It was one of those scrolls, like those sponge animals that if you put in water would grow

really big and would turn into a real scroll. But it had to be in water first. I mean, the things, the kind of molecular transformation that has to go, the a real scroll but had to be in water i mean the things the kind of molecular transformation that has to go the thing has to go through to be given to baron across dreams so you know who right what has to happen to the various substances but at that point baron was like is he here you hear a noise outside and you look and baron sees a shadowy figure, a shadowy figure that looked like the Branderdella that he had seen, this Branderdella mishmash back at Minderhall's Cathedral

as you were gearing up for the fight with Skirkabla. And so you see this figure walking towards you and you realize, oh no, that's not Branderdella. That's someone else. And it was Metra. But no, Metra, you've never seen Brander face-to-face. This is the closest contact you've had with him. I mean, I don't think she trusts one word he says.

But did anything seem like a lie? I don't think it seems like a lie. It just seems like he's talking at cross-purposes. Not cross-purposes. He has his own agenda. And, I mean, he literally stole my daughter's body. What is there he could possibly say to me that would convince me of anything at all? Right.

Also, I don't know that she's out for vengeance. What is there to avenge At this point Right Your daughter Her being cut up And then her face Stitched to his face Yeah

The murder and mutilation Of your only daughter I mean He's more of an abomination Than anything else It's just like It's not that I It's not that we need to

Write a wrong Deliver Yeah I mean What wrong was committed That's the question What could be righted By the What wrong could be righted What could possibly What wrong could committed? No, it's like, what could be righted? What wrong could be righted?

What wrong could be rushed? What could possibly have gone wrong? I think at this point, seeing you kind of linger there, Baron will guiltily walk up and state the obvious and say, that's where she fell. I haven't had the heart to tell you yet, but I figure as long as you stay there to look at that mark,

you might as well have confirmed what might be going on in your mind, and that's where your daughter met her in. I'm sorry. I couldn't have stopped it. Neither could I. I wish I was here. I couldn't have stopped it. Neither could I. I wish I was here. I wish you were too sometimes.

It took me a long while to get back from where I was... Lost. I had some sense of no time at all. There's so much I missed. So much. We have a mission, Baron. We do. Are you ready to go?

I think I am, as long as... Jimmer, Dalgrith, and Thune are ready. What's Jimmer doing during all this? If Jimmer's getting geared up for a story he's getting... So this is is I think I'm assuming before we actually rest he's going through his sort of

evening routine which is the same like every night and as tired exhausted as he must be wounded like the wounds have been sewn up, but he still wills himself to do these exercises, these drills every night.

He sets his feet in a certain way, and he raises his shield, and one, two, three, just like two slashes and a thrust. One, two, three. Moves his feet. And tonight he's concentrating on his footwork. One, two, three.

And he like looks down at his feet. And he shakes his head. And he moves like his heel. He shifts his heel back on the ball of his foot. Back like a half of an inch. One, two, three. Keeps like working at it. Working at it, two, three. He keeps working at it, working at it, working at it.

Every night, this is what he does. We haven't seen this yet, but this is something that he just works at over and over and over again. He knows that everything starts from the feet. That's what he's been taught. It lowers his center of gravity.

Make sure his feet are properly balanced beneath him. One, two, three. Over and over and over again. You think in his mind he thinks that the difference between life and death is that little half inch of his foot being off? Yeah, he knows that's true. This is what's kept him alive as long as he has. He doesn't have particularly exceptional physical attributes like he does now

because of magical, with magical help. But what's kept him alive, what makes him as good as he is now is because he's worked hard at fundamentals over and over and over again every time. He knows that that's what it takes to stay alive in a world like this in a field like this that he's in and he does it without fail like no matter how he feels if he's mobile if he's ambulatory this is what he does every night do you think he's been afraid in ashby because we've seen him from an outsider's view we've just seen a mash yeah he was innervated.

But has he been afraid of these giants? I think he's always sort of afraid. I think he's always kind of afraid. That's what gives him an edge, the edge that he needs. But it's the practice. He falls back on these fundamentals on these, like, this is what it says.

Like it just do the work, do the work every time. One, two, three. That's every, every time. It's just like he,

it's something that that's his bedrock. That's, that's all. That's what he comes back to every time. Strange is all this is. and he's seen some strange stuff and these things are three times the size, eight times the size but he knows that the best chance

he has is to be true to his training be true to his routine one, two, three does he train Be true to his training. Be true to his routine. One, two, three. Does he train with Terminus Est? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I imagine Dalgrith coming up after a hot bath to towel, just a towel around his waist. Wet hair. In the middle of a cathedral. In the middle of a cathedral. Yeah, yeah. Walking out. He's making it his home. So inappropriate. He's the monarchics. Taking him to the Vatican.

I needed to let my pits breathe! Kind of stretches his arms out. Taking a nice soak in the holy water basin. I imagine him walking up to Jimmer and then standing and watching this for a moment, and he's thinking back to his training, which is very similar.

And he comes up sort of to the side as you take a break from a set. You're just kind of huffing and puffing. And he's just like, My impressive Jim, I can't believe you don't take a break after all that heat and sweat. Jump yourself in the back there. Get yourself a hot bath.

You've earned it. Yeah, I will. Just kind of blushing a little bit. Yeah, I just got to get a couple more in before I can let myself relax like that. Dogrith watches him for another minute or two. And then he sort of steps up with like a nod of approval from Jimmer

because he's been watching the routine. And he's kind of like, he stands there kind of in a position as a dummy kind of basically and gives you like you know a target to kind of move around and he's completely unfazed or on not fearful of this at all because he knows the precision that Jimmer has not worried about his towel dropping at all yeah no not at all he's just standing there and he's like smiling he's loving it like feeling hortensen in that uh shower fight eastern promise that's what we have here yeah that's like beating the blade aside you got more tattoos than metra my god but there's like a hundred percent more clothing in this scene right no no uh nobody loves the terminus s and nothing else

nobody loves the closeness of it feeling the wind of the blade past and the thrill of the fight you know that it's just kind of it's like a little bit of a thrill and then the next time you're like it takes a break he just he's looking at the blade and and he's like a little bit of a thrill and then the next time you're like it takes a break he just he's looking at the blade and and he's like i don't want to be too forward jimmer but could i hold her for a moment kind of transfixed by the sword jimmer it's kind of taking it back He draws Terminus S back. And he's like, yeah, yeah, here. And he reverently sort of holds both of his hands out to lay the blade flat on his two hands. Oh, take it, take it, hold it like you're going to use it. And he reaches out, grabs it, flips it around a few times. It's a lot heavier for me, I'm afraid.

But you feel that? It is heavy. You feel that balance? I feel that balance. He sets it kind of near the hilt on the side of his hand and holds it up, and it just sits completely flat across, doesn't tilt at all. He whips his hand out of the way and it drops like three inches he reaches out and grabs it uh with his other hand on the hilt turns it up again looks

up the length of it jimmy i hope you don't mind me saying because well i came from the streets myself but you don't strike me as the kind of man who can afford a blade like this. I mean, I've seen fine blades in my day. All from great warriors to ceremonial weapons of incredible value. Heirlooms passed down for generations by kings. And still, this could hang with the best of them. How does someone who talks like you come to have a blade like this? Because you don't strike me as a man who would steal it from another. So if you forgive me, I'm curious.

That Jimmer, kind of, his gaze kind of falls and kind of looks at the hilt. Yeah, from what I've been told, I don't think there are many that could afford a blade like that, to be honest. afford a blade like that to be honest. I think Mr. Finstock told me that there's a shorimake which means from what I've been led to understand probably about

3,000 years old that thing. 3,000? Yeah. Yeah it's an empire. He told me all about it when it came into my possession. He told me that Shuri Empire is around about the northern edge of Garum a long time ago. rooms a long time ago. Told me about the floating cities that they were famed for, floated all over the known world.

And they made weapons of immense power. And this happens to be one that survived down, find its way into my hand. Now, I came across it in the course of my professional duties, and I was ready to give it up to Mr. Finstock, but in his immense generosity, he allowed me to keep it, and I'll be forever, forever thankful for that. But, I don't know, I think of a sword like that, and hands that must have passed through on the weight of mine and souls that must have spliced from their mortal coils. I think all a man can do is to be, do everything he can to be worthy of a sword like that.

That's what I try to do. Dog Wrath is transfixed by the blade now. 3,000 years old, and yet Jimmer keeps it so clean. It looks brand new. And it feels like, I imagine, like you've never felt anything that feels so natural in your hand as the sword. It's like you would know the instant, like, you pick the sword up, like, this is something. This is like a Ferrari. Yeah.

The equivalent of, you know, sitting down in a Ferrari. Driving a Ferrari. Yeah. And he's just... And he's just... I said I'd seen many fine blades in many, many a powerful abode. But I've seen far fewer men worthy of wielding them. You make yourself worthy of wielding this blade, Jim.

Don't ever doubt yourself. From the moment I met you on the top of that mountain, you were a savior walking through the blizzard. And you've been not but else since. I have needed your help many times. And you've come through.

And I can see why now. It's not the magic. It's not even the sword. It's the fundamentals. It's the heart. It's the drive. It's the focus. You make me want to

to fight beside you a long time, Jimmer. I think we could do great things together in this war. And he just like lays it across his palm and hands the sword back to you. And Jimmer

takes it and blushes again. This is really nothing more than muscle memory but uh yeah it's a it's an honor to fight

with you two I really only have one purpose and he sheathes it that's to fulfill whatever it is that my brother has to fulfill whatever it is that my brother

needs me to do for him. And y'all y'all are quite excellent companions to have on that on that journey. Well you know I got you back. And any giant that's. Well, you know, I got your back.

And any giant that's trying to cut you down, I'll be quite literary on his back as well. And now, the real reason I came over is, well, Metcher told me you're stinking up the place and you really do have to go take a bath. It's getting quite pungent. All rightent let me just do 10 more reps and then i'll 10 more i'm counting all right it's like my three-year-old

10 more i am literally counting i'm not tired and i'll leave him alone leave him be for his last 10 if they're practicing openly and um dalgryth is so brazen as to walk around with this towel and to be open and boisterous about things. Is it within the realm of reason that Baron could have overheard what they were talking about? Sure, if you were lingering nearby. Probably quietly crafting ammunition, kind of looking down at the document, and just kind of like touching an ear at it. Lurking. just kind of like lurching lurching Baron wants to just roll a

sense motive on a strange turn of phrase that he heard which was that the sword spliced souls

from people that sounds an odd turn of phrase you're sitting there crafting ammunition sharpening your gun on a whetstone and you just

your ears perk up so sharp at this point your ears perk up at that yeah real sensitive uh yeah i have no idea it's a three on the die yeah so you just kind of but you you log it it is something that seems outside of what jimmer's normal kind of mode his normal vocabulary that's something that's like you're right to pick that out as being unusual yeah it's kind of like hmm and as you're sitting there and then just the very bottle cap the idea that he also seemed the other thing that perked up baron's ears was that he has a means to his own end that is within his own purpose and within his own motivation,

but he also seems to be a vessel through which the sword is delivered. It almost felt like he was training in order to be worthy of it, but also at its behest to some extent. It freaks Baron out to hear this. Sure, sure, sure. These are people in a way under your charge. And so you register that, and you're also sharpening away, and you see, you know, sitting all by himself

in like the first pew, looking up at the area sort of in the back of the cathedral where you know is the stairs that lead down to the back of the cathedral where you know is the stairs that lead down to the heart of the forge is Thun. I thought it was going to be Ralphio. It's Ralphio.

That's Thun just sitting there looking strangely. And then he turns and just stares at you. How does it make Baron feel? What kind of gaze does he see at him? Is it just the normal inquisitiveness that Boone normally gives, or is it something else? Something else.

Baron will rise up, stab himself in the thighs. He should have holstered his gun. So sharp. So very sharp. Can we run it back? Dune goes over. Turns. Looks at Baron.

It's like... And he finally turns. What Baron always expected. Silver dragon. Baron. Burns the whole place out. No! Dog breathes in a towel already.

A singed towel. It's harrowed by... Batsy, run! Joe's characters always take off their armor in the moment of weakness. Joe's characters always take off their armor in the moment of weakness. Darren will walk up and approach him on the balcony. And as he gets close, he says, I don't know why you're still traveling with us, Thune.

You know. Nobody wants you around. Why don't you just go home? Can't you take a hint? You can't take a hint. Just get out of here. Go. Can't you take a hint? You can't take a hint. Just get out of here.

After we defeated Urathosh, we made sure that this chapel would be welcome to all creeds, races, and walks of life. You might be the first doppelganger I've ever met, but I know you'd be welcome here like the rest of them. And if you don't want to fight alongside us anymore i give you your leave but that may not be why you've been shooting me looks askance from up here so i'm up here to ask you why hmm you say i am the first doppelganger you've ever met. What do you know of my kind, Sheriff Thune? Very little outside of the fact you can only imitate creatures about your size or smaller. Imitate?

Yes. Yes. Many people see my kind and revel at our ability to imitate. Those who do not know us, Sheriff Thune, think it is a parlor trick or something we use solely for nefarious purposes. solely for nefarious purposes. Now there may be some among my kind that do those things, but for me this ability comes from a need to change. Something deep within me calls to me when it is time to change forms, much like animals

molt. Lately, I have been feeling that urge again. But I fear this urge, Sheriff Thune. Because every time I change, it's as if I'm losing a part of my former self. So many memories of my past are spotty courtesy of all these changes. Yet from time to time, things from the present will call out to me and remind me of those spots. Being here, in this room, reminds me of things that I cannot express. That I cannot express.

And being around you does the same thing, Sheriff Thune. What form is Thune currently in? Is he... He's still a full orc. Orc master flex, right? Big, beefy orc. Thune? Yes? Can you show me your true self right now

While I talk to you Your base Form I could Yes Perhaps I Shall And he just

Starts kind of like very lightly shaking and convulsing. And you see the form of the orc sort of melt away into this shapeless mass where you can't quite tell where the features are. You guess where the eyes, the nose and the mouth and the ears would be. But it's this just clay mold. Kind of like Gumby left in a car window on a summer day. A real soggy gray Gumby. Yeah.

But then from that a little mouth moves and you can see breathing. I wonder, now that you're showing me your base form, before you decide to go one way or another or molt or change, beyond the spots or whatever any moment reminds you of,

if you know who you are at the center of it all. Do you know what you want, Thune? Not yet, Sheriff. Is Metro nearby at all for this? Yeah. Thune. And you just see this shapeless mold turn towards you and a little mouth open. Did I understand you correctly in that you knew Baron in a past life, so to speak?

The mask turns towards Baron and backs towards you. The mask turns towards Baron and backs towards you. I do not know, Miss Nahn, but something about him is quite familiar. If you don't know exactly what it is these spots, as you call them, mean, what do they make you feel? What's in your gut When you think about what it is That reminds you of me? Fear, Sheriff Because if you are in some way connected

To one of my former selves. I wonder why the gods chose to bring us back together. Have you ever heard of another doppelganger being brought back to someone associated with their former selves before? Does it mean an Elo man? I have not heard such a thing, but it does not seem like providence. We should get ready, Sheriff.

There is a battle to be won. He changes back into an orc. Gross. And leaves little chunks of himself as he walks away. Gross. Gross. I think that's something about shapeshifters, like doppelgangers like that, too,

is they can only stay in an assumed shape for so long before they have to revert. It's kind of like D-Space 9 with Odo. Right. I was thinking about OdoSpace 9 with Odo. Right. I was thinking about Odo at the beginning of this. Yeah. Or the Animorphs.

Or Animorphs. Samantha's a huge Animorphs fan. Really? Yes. She loves Animorphs. We've never talked about this. You will next time now that she's heard this.

Yeah, he probably, if he's had to change at all, because it's only been a couple days since you met him, even though it seems like a longer time he's done it in secret so you didn't have to watch him yeah and then comes back

to the orc self yeah but he's telling you that like he feels an urge to change again but to what and what happens when he changes has he betrayed the people he was around like that's what's going through baron's head and he can't make the math work out yeah no i mean he told you before what form do you want me to have? And you eventually said, you know what? Just stay in Ark for now. Maybe he'll give you the choice again, or maybe you'll just let him do what he thinks is right. Tengu.

But the Thun you know. Tengu. You might lose a little bit of Thun. 100% Tengu. You want a Tengu Thun? Maybe we'll have a Tengu Thun. Well, no. I think it's time for Tengu and cash. Well, it takes two to Tengu, so I Maybe we'll have a Tengu Thun. Well, no. I think it's time for Tengu and Cash.

Well, it takes two to Tengu, so... That's true. We need two to Tengu. True. There's the title. That future ep is already titled Tengu. When we find that elusive second Tengu. We gotta get a second...

We need a second Tengu. All right. Should we go we go You wanna gear up Can we go Let's just go For god's sakes What's the plan To go right into the pit Or to

Okay Into the fucking pit Alright let me just I just wanna go on record saying I'm nervous about this I am too We all are There's

There's lava monsters You guys seem so confident I'm not Who's confident There's lava monsters so confident i'm not who's confident there's lava monsters in there in a world of lava waiting to kill us and eat us i wish i really nervous ice bullets real hard yeah um before we go i am going to um this will happen like right before we teleport i'm going to make dog with invisible okay oh and then i believe in this chat how long does that last greater and busy john not greater well i can do greater i don't know what they may not appear right away

so i want to give us a little bit of leeway okay i get it but man greater and busy sneak attack every hit pretty good which is key we're playing actually actually you know what no i think it's not why because they're elementals oh they're i'm not gonna do anything oh oh no they are immune they i'm pretty sure they are immune yeah to sneak attack precision criticals all of it so my i want to go over the top with that because up close and dead my new knowledge well i was thinking that maybe i would use this old scroll of resist energy communal this little scroll of mine i'm gonna let it shine it's good yeah because yeah yeah fire yeah i mean yeah i'd be metagaming if i said anything else so i'll shut up yeah yeah i mean we don't know if they were we don't know if they were fire elementals or what else could they be i think there is it's a weird call though because it's like

would you wait until you teleported and then spend around like you're trying to optimize your rounds a lot here but this energy is 10 minutes per level divided evenly amongst that's pretty sweet i mean i sure what's the level what's the level of the scroll though it's gotta be like level five well no i think with a scroll is it with the scroll it's the person casting it isn't it no that's a staff the staff it's the person casting it the scroll is whoever scribed it right it would be cast your level three yeah still 30 minutes. That's a long time, so.

Divide amongst the five of us. That's six minutes each. Alright. That's good. Troy generates another flashback with Boone as soon as he tells him. Okay. Resist energy, fire. Resist

energy 10 against fire. So you'll eat the first 10 points of fire damage you take. Every attack. Every attack. Yep. For 10 minutes. Yeah. Okay.

No, for six minutes. For six minutes. All right. So you're hoping that you get there and immediately get into combat. Or we look at the mural we open the boxes and we never see any right right right i don't blame you uh okay any other pre-buffs uh dogger will be invisible and i'll mirror image myself okay i guess i'll roll i'll roll that now just so we know but yeah only a one so uh back um okay anything else anybody wants uh no what was the um the weapon you gave thun by the way a plus one frost wounding battle axe

it sounds like it'll come in handy yep plus one frost and wounding what does wounding do this special ability can only be placed on melee weapons, and it deals one point of bleed damage when it hits a creature. Multiple hits from wounding increase the bleed damage. So it's not going to matter. It'd be really great if it weren't this fight. Yeah. It'll be good in the future.

All right. You know what? I'll cast a weapon of awe on myself Aww Aww Never Never gets old And the last thing I will do is cast Darkness on a

Let's see Something on my Copper piece on my person Darkness? Okay Let's see, something on my... You know, a copper piece on my person. Okay, darkness? Yeah. Okay. So we'll have a 20-foot radius area of darkness.

I don't know if they have dark vision or blind sense or whatever, but... Can't hurt. Can't hurt. Can't hurt. Considering our party makeup, it can't hurt. Yeah. All right, so you want to teleport to the... These guys are going to be awful. it's gonna be awful magma river room magma river room go ahead and roll a d100 it's always worked so well before 61

you know even if it was viewed once it's 1 to 76 which it was. Oh, really? That's right. You appear here. You know your clock is ticking, but you appear on the eastern, excuse me, the western side of the bridge. You do not

see any creatures for the moment. You see that mural, and now Jimmer and Thun and Dalgrith see this as well. It's hot in here. Not so hot that you're taking heat damage, but you do feel a little hot under the collar. What do you do? Time is ticking on your buffs. Would we have teleported right next to the boxes, though?

Is that what you wanted to do? Because Troy put us on the other side of the bridge. I did, I did. Just click jump. Classic. teleported right next to the boxes though is that what you wanted to do because troy put us on the other side of the bridge i did i did just uh just classic yeah classic gm move i love it gotta be so specific uh you know uh should we just dimension door across the bridge oh my god we are such idiots let's blow all the spells. Such a dumb game. You should just teleport to the box. Otherwise, I'm going to have to hop on a broom.

There's a lot of things because I'm not stepping on that fucking bridge. I'll step on the bridge. No, it's Dimension Door crossing. All right, so boom, boom. You end up right over there, and you see several of these boxes lying on the floor. All right. Why don't Alright. You want to divide and conquer? Yes, divide and conquer. You check out the mural. We'll work on the boxes.

How many boxes are there? It looks to be about seven or eight. Everyone will get one and we'll leave. Are they liftable? Yeah, they're liftable. I can hold up the bag of holding. I'll throw them all in the sack. While you look at the mural.

Yeah, I'll be gazing up at the mural and see if there's anything I missed. We're shrouded in darkness, by the way. You're all shrouded in darkness. All right, so let's get you over there. You're shrouded in darkness. And Dogwraith is invisible. And Dogwraith is invisible. And you guys just start grabbing boxes and looking through them?

No, just throw them in the sack. Oh, throwing them in the sack to look at some other time. Okay. We might be trapped. We might want to look. Do you do anything else over there? I'll just do a perception. Yeah, I'm looking at the mural again for anything I missed.

How's a 36 suit you? How's a 37 suit you? Baron's looking at the mural. Metro's looking around. You're just like saying, is there anything else here of note? You do see something that kind of sticks out. And as you see it, it's like you and Baron are both like, what the fuck is that? But at that moment.

Yeah. That magma. Things burst from the magma. No. and from the ground around you this is gonna be so stupid and awful. Oh, boy. I know it. I just know it. Let's talk a niche. Let's talk about barren ash peaks. Nay, Red Heart.

A niche. 19. I didn't get married to the mountain. Yes, you did. You're married to the game. Nay, Red Heart. Metra. 18.

Nah. Nah. No, ma. No, ma. No, ma. 18. Non. Non. Noma. Noma. Noma. Jimma. Jimma got a 17 on the initiative. 17 for Jimma. Let's talk about Thunes and Nish.

Ooh, a 16. Wow. I went 19, 18, 17, 16. Dalgryth, tell me you got a 15. 22. Come on! You ruined it! That would have been amazing!

Sorry, not sorry. Combo breaker! C-c-c-c-combo! Dalgrith, what do you do? Round one. You got the jump. I got the jump. You're invisible as well, but you see these four creatures.

Let's take a zoom and look at them again. Yeah, I'm not sure I like the... Such cool fucking artwork. i don't think i like the dog wraith knowing that they're immune to all this stuff without without a role so i'm gonna try the knowledge plane well here's the thing man they told you that they're probably some sort of elemental you've fought elementals before oh that's right you did say some sort of elemental um so you would know sort of elemental traits what about a 20 okay knowledge planes knowledge planes he did say a 19 would get us something these are i thought he was lying magma elementals No sort of elemental traits. What about a 20? Okay. Knowledge planes. Knowledge planes.

He did say a 19 would get us something. These are... I thought he was lying. Magma elementals. Okay. Do you share this? No, he keeps it to himself. Let's just hear it. This knowledge will be useless to the rest of the team.

Just hear it. They are magma elementals. Magma. Okay. And because of that, they have elemental traits. And some of those elemental traits include immunity to all the things that make you cool. Yeah. So, like, I'm going to be utterly useless this entire combat.

They can't be crit. They can't be precision. They can't be flanked. What do you want to do? Do they have minds? Do elementals have minds? Oh, yeah. So they're not immune to mind-infecting things.

I didn't say that. I just said they have minds. Oh, yeah. So they're not immune to mind-affecting things. I didn't say that. I just said they have minds. They might be pretty susceptible to... You don't know about a magma elemental. This isn't your run-of-the-mill elemental. Can I ask a question? Maybe in stories around town. Watch out or the magma elementals will get you.

Can I ask for a piece of useful information about magma? Specifically? It's very hot. I love it. piece of useful information about magma specifically uh do they do they like i'm a uh adventure specifically designed to climb on creatures right uh do they damage you if you're like around them or on them every round that's a very good question like if you were to touch them yeah uh does that do they radiate heat or is a thing? You have no reason to believe that climbing on them could hurt you just from climbing on them. Okay.

You don't feel as confident as you would if you were climbing a giant. But you've been climbing fire giants. You didn't feel the heat. Right. Ooh, baby! What do you want to do? Let's get in it. Got some info. Got some info. I'm going to get? Let's get in it Got some info

Got some info I'm going to get into it You're itching for a fight Yeah You got one, two, three, four Greater Magma Elementals What do you want to do? Okay

He is going to move to The Magma Elemental to the north Okay Totally in viz Totally in viz And he will jump on it wow whoa he's just gonna get right into it all right so that is going to see if you can do anything cmd check uh yeah versus my cmd yeah climb check versus your yeah and this went up by the way with the oh i mean annihilated it it's over 40 all right so you backflip onto his back

flip onto him and then i become visible visible, because that's an attack. That's an attack? Oh, man. Yeah. You're on him. I mean, it doesn't say it, but it's against the CMD. So, yeah, I would say it's an attack, but that's going to be his round. Okay.

Because he's got to jump up there and then get on him. Okay. So you guys just all of a sudden see Dalgrith up on the one to the north, and he's just like, Jim, I'm the swan first! He's going up! Baron Ashpeak in your home turf! It's about time for Baron to get to action against the self-same creature that Dalgrith is going against. He's ganging up on that poor.

Here's a family! Baron's going to take a five-foot step away from Thun to get a completely clear shot at this creature. Although, could he stand behind Thun and keep on shooting because it's so tall? Would he still get cover if I'm behind him? Yes. All right, so I'm going to take that five-foot step out. Going to swift action. You are going to hit.

No matter what. Draw down any cover. Draw down greater bane. Elemental magma onto his weapon. Oh, my God. Wow. That's going to be bad. And it's time for a little rapid shot.

I didn't say it, but he shared all of that stuff that you said real quick before he ran up. Deadly aim. I've seen these before to make my elemental. Point blank. I'm useless. And then he ran up and jumped on it. The first attack is a 20-40 hit. Yup.

All right. Let's roll this damage. Oh, that's a lot of dice. Oh, yes. Oh, my God. It's a lot of dice. Oh, my God. It's a lot of dice.

40 points of damage on the first attack. Oh, my God. It's all nice. Oh, my God. It's all nice. 40 points of damage on the first attack. Wow. Wow. You took a bite out of crime there, but you can tell not all of it really penetrated this thing. I mean, it's not really what I'm equipped to fight, but I will stand and fight. You weren't trained on the streets to fight magma alums? That was real close to a critical threat. 18 on the die.

That's right. Jeepers. Crow. the die. That's a creeper's crow. Shoes. Crow! Another 40 points. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is very nice.

Choo-choo. Second or third attack. Should be a hit at a 20. Yep. Okay. Oh, my God. He can't stop rolling sixes on D6. This is insane. This is insane.

It's another 40 points of damage. Exactly. This is insane. Just average 40 for a hit. Oh, my God. Final attack. Here it comes. Sure, why not?

You just did 120 points of damage. Here it comes. Oh, that might... 11 against that, Jason. Yeah, that's a hit. All right. Here we go. It also has an accident in the round. Oh, that might... 11 against that, Jason. Yeah, that's a hit. All right, here we go. It also has an accident in the round.

Flat-footed. Oh, dear. 39 points of damage. It's dead. Yes! So it crumbles, even with DR. And Dalgrith, you just land right on the ground where it was. Well, that made it easier.

One down. He's laughing. Three, that made it easy. One down. Three to go. Amazing. Turn those down to nine. Metra just crumbles into a pile of pumice stones. Lights it up. Metra, what do you do?

You and Baron both see something on the wall at the same time, but you're in the middle of a fight now. Yeah, I'll come back to that. I would like to roll a knowledge check to see if this would be immune to mind-affecting abilities. Okay, give me a knowledge plant. That'll be a 16.

You don't know. Okay, since I don't know, I will instead cast particulate form on all of us. Oh! Holy moly. Whipping out your new clothes for church! Yes. So basically we all have fast healing three.

What? And we're immune to crit, sneak attack, and other forms of precision damage. Wow. And bleed. Really, really cool. Jim-er. Not done yet. Oh, sorry.

What else are you going to do? I'm going to move. Oh, you and your moves. Jimmer. I'm not done yet. Oh, sorry. What else are you going to do? I'm going to move. Oh, you and your moves. Up north. And great. Okay, I'm good. Okay, now it is Jimmer's turn. All right.

Jimmer, newly particulated Jimmer. He's been turned into a cloud of nanites. Basically. uh he's been turned into a cloud of nanites um basically yeah so he is too far away so he's going to have to move luckily the creatures haven't acted so they can't uh take an attack of opportunity so you get right up in their biz

although unfortunately I can't do a full attack but uh Jimmer gets within melee distance of the one closest to him, and he's going to do one mighty swing with Terminus Est. That would be a critical threat, but they're immune to critical hits. It's true, but go ahead and if you... Was it a 20 or no?

It was an 18. Okay, so... Or 17. Definitely a hit. So that is 27 points of damage. 27 points of damage. All right, so you hit it and you feel that same thing as Baron. Like, it didn't quite all go through, but you're really laid into him with a nice hit. It's his Thun's turn. Hmm.

So many options. I'll go help out Jimmer. He gets right next to Jimmer, and with his plus one frost wounding battle axe, takes a nice swing against this thing. Natural two. He's unfamiliar with the weapon. Of course.

He misses wildly with the weapon. Of course. He misses wildly with this thing. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not quite feeling myself. Get it together, you shape-shifting, jello-mole bastard. And now it is their turn. The one that is nearest Thun and Jimmer will start laying down some slams. that is nearest Thune and Jimmer,

we'll start laying down some slams. Slam on Jimmer, natural two. Slam on Thune, natural two. That's three natural twos. Three daddy twos in a row. Oh, my God. That's amazing. All right.

Let me check their speed here. You know what? They're both going to have to double move to get to Metra and Dalgrith, but you see that they both use some sort of earth glide and appear right next to Dalgrith and Metra and then get right next to Baron as well. Yep. So they just really move fast. They go in the ground and appear right up next to you guys. I'm trying to

see if that will provoke from Dalgrith. Metro doesn't have a weapon drawn. And actually, Dalgrith, it comes ten feet away from you, so no provokes. Unfortunately, that's all they can do. So you will survive one more round at least. Dalgrith, what do you got?

Dalgrith is going to... Oh, jeez. Shitski. Dalgrith can't do anything to these guys, so he's going to attempt to distract them enough to not bother Baron. That's going to be his objective here. Keep him off, Baron!

Baron, shoot whatever one I try to grab around his weird fucking head! His weird fucking head? He's going to click his heels together, give himself haste. Then he's going to move 20 feet while doing an acrobatics check to avoid attacks of opportunity as he runs

between the two magma elementals. Wow. This is very fantasy. It's a very never-ending story. He runs between these two monoliths. And then the southern one, the one that's in melee combat with Baron, he's going to try to jump on. Wow.

Maybe become a target for it instead of bareback. First, try to avoid the attacks of opportunity. All right. So first, attempting to avoid the attacks of opportunity all right so first uh attempting to avoid uh the attack of opportunes uh that is a 45 uh yeah you're gonna be just fine that's really good yes that's pretty damn good and then uh the the climb check is going to be a 44 and he jumps on the creature. Okay, so you just scamper up onto the one that just got right up in

Baron's business. And he uses a round of haste. He uses a round of haste and it is burning his little dwarf hands on its magma carcass. It's so hot. It's so hot. Baron, it is your turn. You're right up next to this thing You know that it's got

Crazy reach So you're in Kind of a tough spot here I can't really get out Even if I get out Of its range It will run up to me And hit me next round

So Baron is going to Maybe not Buddy And Dogger is just Stabbing in the back Like hey Hey buddy Hey fella

Look up here Look up here Look up here Baron will so if I were able to provide myself with count as magic for the purposes of bypassing damage

reduction nope that won't work answer dear right no yeah alright so then Baron will call down a swift action to call down a judgment of sacred protection plus two on himself and we'll stay where he is and we'll fire at this thing and see how many attacks opportunity he has

alright let it take its first one against you keep that roll it goes to try and slam you as you do 23 to hit miss is that a miss yeah you don't remember you don't get your bonuses for giants nope okay yeah so it goes to slam you and just misses.

You're too small of a target. Okay, here it comes. Oh, here comes the boom. Was it a big one? Yeah, it's pretty big. Is it a big one? 15, 20, 24. It's a big one.

44 points of damage. Oh, boy. Okay, so big, big, big hit. All right, so you're going to write 12, 15, 20, 24 plus 20. Yep. 20, right? 44. You're going to take a chance here.

See if it has another attack of opportunity. I got it. Fire again. I got it. Here it comes. Misfire. Oh, man. Well, the good news is it did not try to attack you.

It appears that it doesn't have combat reflexes. Okay. However, your gun has misfired in your hand. That is the end of my turn. That is the end of Baron's turn, Metra Narn. Okay. Metra is going to...

Okay. Okay. You ready for me? Yeah. Okay. Metra is going to roll to cast offensively. Yeah, you're right up next to this thing. Five feet away! Nailed it. Please roll a will save.

Ooh. Okay. They don't have great will saves, usually, these elementals. Ooh, that's a 22 total. Good roll, good roll. That's a great roll, and it beats it easily. Oh, yeah, man. It's never worked.

No. All right. In that case, skiddly-doo. Metro will then use the quick and metamagic rod. Sure. To reach out and touch this thing. Okay. Now, that seems like something that would provoke an attack of opportunity.

Why? I can roll a two with it. Yeah, try that. Natural 20. Okay. I don't like the way you said it. It doesn't matter. Natty 17 on the touch attack. Yeah, that'll hit. Okay. I did a shocking grasp way you said it. It doesn't matter. Natty 17 on the touch attack. Yeah, that'll hit.

Okay. I did a shocking grasp. Shocking grasp. What a shocking discovery. All right. Talk to me about damage. It's going to be 5d6 worth of damage. That's all going to go through.

That's good. That's juicy. Not a great roll. 12 points of damage. Wow. You really undersold it. That was a terrible roll for 5d6. It was three ones.

I blame the guy rolling. You sure it wasn't 2d6 and you rolled rocks? I'm sure. Do you have anything else you'd like to do? No, that was... You know what? I'll take a five-foot step. That's why I asked.

You always get something you want to do. You doer of things. Shimmer, you and Thune, good buddies bestest friends, one on one with a magma elemental. Shimmer, standing shoulder to shoulder with Thune, raises his shield and starts swinging away with Terminus S

at this magma creature. Yeah, this can get ugly. God, again, first first swing, natural 19 would be a critical threat. That's what he does. That's what he does. And it's a mere 25 points of damage. Okay.

Second swing is, let's see, that is a 25 to hit. That'll hit. Okay. And another 25 points of damage. Okay, so Jim is just chip, chip, chipping away. Uh, last attack. Oh my god. Uh, 16 is a miss, I assume.

16 is a miss. Yeah. Uh, but Jimmer gets off. Nicely done, dude. Some good swings. Now Thune, he's got this this frost battleaxe. The wounding might not do anything, but you feel like the frost would. Swings out. Come on, Thune, you do. Thune! Hits exactly. Nice!

That's what I'll say. And it's going to be 1d8 plus 8 damage plus 1d6 cold. So it's going to do minimum damage. One point, one on the d8. So nine points of damage and two points of cold.

However, it feels as if the cold is doing something, whereas the nine points of damage did nothing. Nothing. The cold did sneak through. And then he will swing again. Come on, Thune. Ooh, yeah. That's a definite hit. 25 Thune will hit.

And that time, four points of damage will sneak through and another couple points of cold. Nice. So Thune is able to do something. Nothing too crazy. Come on, Thune. Now it's their turn. So let's see here. The one that is near Metra.

Metra is, how many are you? How many are you? There's four of me. I'm sorry, there's five of me. There's five of you. I'm also shrouded in darkness. You're shrouded in darkness, right. So it can't see you, is what you're saying? Unless it has dark vision. Yes, it does. Then it's fine.

It sees you fine. It's not deeper darkness. So, okay. It is going to attempt to grab you. So I roll the CMB and then I roll to see if it grabs you? Yeah, but I'm going to use Aether Step. Okay. So should I even roll to try? I mean, that's up to you.

Yeah, I'll roll. Just see what happens. Would have been a 33 to grab you. That would have worked. Okay. Which is why I'm going to go onto the ethereal plane. So you just... Swomp!

You dip out of the material plane onto the ethereal plane. Oh, you know what? I don't think I can, actually. Why? I use my swift action to cast the shocking grasp. You sure did. Oh, you sure did. No, no, no, no, no.

No, we said this before. You can use the immediate action now. It means you can't use the swift action in your next turn. Okay. We did talk about this. We talked about this. Do you feel confident about that? Because I don't pay attention to what you guys say.

I feel pretty confident about that. Because we said you would never want to use a swift action in your round if you might need an immediate, you know what I mean? And so what it does is it takes it away for the next round. Okay. It's effectively using your swift action of the next round early. Okay. I don't know.

That seems fine. That seems to be a good use of it here. Yeah, that seems like anything between this. Yeah, your turn, you should be able to use, like, any of your actions on your turn. Like, anything that was. And what's the point of an immediate action? I mean, I guess you get an immediate so you can use it anytime, even if it's not on your turn. Right anything that was... And what's the point of immediate action? I mean, I guess you get...

Immediate is so you can use it any time, even if it's not on your turn. Right, right, yeah. So, okay, I'm going to say that's fine. So it goes to grab you and you dip out.

And I dip out. Okay. And I'm out of it for the next turn anyway. All right, so it just... Just as it's about to grab you because it would have hit, you dip out.

She shadow cats him The one's next I love that Like he just reaches down Just like Boom And she's just like Boom

Just like slips out of his grasp Through the planes It really is a comic book move By Metro there I've got Kitty Pryde in you Yeah By the way That is 100% right

It is right. Okay, good. Effectively using an immediate action before your turn is equivalent to using your swift action for the coming turn. Oh, it's fun when we accidentally get things right. It wasn't accidental. We talked about it. It was literally like five episodes ago. It wasn't that long ago. All right.

This guy is going to try and slam Thun and then cleave Jimmer. Thun and then Cleave Jimmer. First, the slam on Thun hits. Even with Thun's new armor, it hits. Well, I had to see if I would actually hit. No, no, you knew that Thun would have the lower AC.

That's true. I just looked like he would. Look at Jimmer. Shut up. Okay, so that is actually going to be a pretty hefty amount of damage. Now, Thun got the resist energy fire as well, right? Yep. Okay, and that saves him from how much? Ten points

per hit? Alright, anyways, he's going to take sixteen points of regular damage, and then he was going to take some burn damage. He won't take any burn damage, which is nice. However, those affected by burn must succeed at a reflex save or catch fire. Now, he didn't take any of the burn damage, so I wonder if he would have to roll the reflex

save. I don't see why not. So he's going to roll the reflex save, net E18, he's fine. So he doesn't... He can basically be on fire and still not take damage round after round because of the fire resistance. Right. And it is magic.

So now his AC will be lowered for this round as he attempts to cleave Jimmer. And that is going to be a 34 to hit Jimmer. Yeah, that's a hit. So he just with his fist just slams through Thun on his way to Jimmer. A big hit for 19 points of damage. And then in terms of burn damage, it would be 8 points of burn, so none of that goes through.

However, you do have to roll a reflex save to see if you catch on fire, Jimmer. All right. Reflex save. That is a natty 17. Oh, there you go, dude. You're fine. Both you and Thun with the power of that scroll and your nimble reflexes are able to avoid catching on fire.

And by the way, I only took nine points because of the stone skin. Because of the stone skin. Ten points is taken off of my stone skin. Oh, that's right. So that chips away. Yes. Now, the one that is fighting Baron. Oh, no no with dalgrith on his back no no dalgrith you're effectively on its square right yeah on it it just opens up its mouth with you on its back No. Vomits lava all over you and it.

Oh, my God. Creating a lava puddle on top of its square. Inches away from Baron. This wasn't in the knowledge check. Also covering you in a puddle of lava. You take only five points of damage, which you are protected from because of the scroll but this damage is going to keep ticking it just is is laying on you and there's a chance that it might actually that's amazing i'm holding on to a creature that is pouring lava over me and it's

just not hurting me right and it's now standing in a lava pool that you can't like jump off onto and just let me just hang out on the ground. That's awesome. So that is what those creatures do, and how cool does the map look right now?

It looks very cool. It's a new round. They've taken some damage, some of them at least. One of them's gone. Dalgrith, what do you got? Dalgrith! I got next to nothing!

He's... You know what? He's hanging on this thing. Might as well try to do something. No. No, it'll be quite pointless, won't it? Yes. Yes, it will.

I'm just going to do one stab. Okay. One little stabby stab. I stab it for fun, Zony. There we go. That's a 33. Yeah, that'll hit. I'm going to die. Yeah, it's brand new. I stab it for fun, Zony. There we go. That's a 33. Yeah, that'll hit. And then... I like that die.

Yeah, it's brand new. I just got it in Boston. Boston? It was gifted in Boston. Oh, man. So if you gave me a die in Boston and it was orange, this is your die.

This is your die. I am going to... Are they evil aligned? Would assume no. You have no reason to believe so. Because this is a weapon that will do more damage if they are evil. Okay. So should I not roll it? Um Would assume no You have no reason to believe so Uh Cause this is a weapon That will do more damage

If they are evil Okay Uh so should I not roll it Cause they're not evil Don't roll it Okay Uh figured Uh so that is

Seven points of damage So he sees he does nothing to it Really You're right there too But it's just Yeah You're stabbing through rock Yeah

My blade's not doing anything Baron It's gonna have to be you And it is They are, too, but it's just, yeah. Yeah. You're stabbing through rock. Yeah. My blade's not doing anything, Baron. It's going to have to be you. And it is Baron's turn. This is our guy here in this fight, for sure. Yeah. You're in, perhaps, an ancestral room that was dedicated to some sort of rituals from the Ash Peaks. It's your turn, Baron. What do you want to do? Someone told me I was born on top

of this goddamn mountain. Thank you for welcoming me with the comforts of home as the lava in front of him boils, and he's not afraid of it at all. Oh, wait. Move, action, clear his gun. Right. Of course. I had a 12 on. Do you want me to roll again? No, you're fine. 12 on the die, that's a hit.

Yeah, that's a hit. Yeah, that's a hit. Fuck. No, he'll do this. Yeah, but it still gets an attack of opportunity. Of course. Ah, yes. Let me roll that just for shits and gigs. Ooh, 90, 18. That is going to be a 36. That's a hit. Okay, so you're going to take a little bit of damage here.

You're going to take 14 points of damage plus no points of burn. However, you do have to roll a reflex save, which I'm sure you will crush unless you roll a natural one. Natural one. Oh, no. So you do catch on fire. Oh, man.

But you basically have like a flame retardant suit on. Right. You'll probably be fine. The suit is currently on fire. Yeah, you are like a stuntman in a movie. It's flailing. How much damage did you

do? 44 points of damage. Can I ask how you're doing more damage to these guys than Giants? The Bane. Greater Bane. What is Greater Bane? Is it 46? 46. Holy. I've never even heard of greater Bane. And I currently have weapon of awe on, which adds plus two to my damage.

Amazing. So wait, can you now do greater Bane to giants? If I expend the use of greater Bane on them, yes. And that's once a day? Is that what it is? I have 12 rounds a day. So currently I've got three rounds. Wow.

So if I ever want a super charged law bringer, just like I rub my hand over it and it's like a fucking federal judge at that point instead of a state. Yes. All right. Do you have any other attempts? Gorsuch. No, because I used a move action to clear. I was going to pull both triggers.

That's what I called myself against, but I didn't want to potentially like misfire. I got you. Metro, what are you thinking? Metro can only take move actions this round. She says she blinks back onto the material plane. Hello. So she's going to full withdraw. Full withdraw.

And it has 15 feet of reach. That might still incur. If so, I can roll acrobatics to avoid. Yeah, go ahead and roll an acrobatics. 34. 34, and that and roll an acrobatics. Uh, thirty... Thirty-four. Thirty-four, and that is just through a threatened space. You are fine, Metra. Nice. So you're able to sneak

away. Jimmer! Jimmer! Jimmer again shifts his feet, plants his feet, making sure they're precisely aligned. One, two, three. Yeah. One, two, three, two. The power from the blade comes from the feet. Comes up through the body into the blade.

First attack is a 27 to hit. Oh yeah. That's 29 points of damage. Oh boy. Second attack. Natural fucking one. No!

Jim, Jim! Jimmer! One, two, three is that inch of being off. Natural fucking one No Jim Jim Jimmer One two three Is that inch That inch of being off Terrible And that is 23 on the confirmed

No fumble Thank god Got lucky there Huge Oh fuck Last attack Is a 20 Oh it's 25

25 that's still gonna hit Alright alright alright Minimum fucking damage you get, 25. 25, okay. This is the one who's... Fuck, man! It's so frustrating when you can crit on a 70 to 20 to do ostensibly three crits and not have it happen. Yeah.

It's really, really... Has Jimmer ever fought fucking elementals before? Probably not, no. So you've got to be like. Yeah, it's like shit. Like I know like I'm cutting right at the jugulars. It's incredibly unfair. At the femoral artery.

And it's like it's not happening. It's not going through. Well, maybe Thun can make it happen. Do some off Thun. It's AC has been lowered from that cleave. By the way, are you guys tracking your fast healing, by the way? Those of you who got hit. I haven't taken any

damage yet. What is it? It's fast healing three. Beautiful. Thank you. Thun hits. It doesn't do any damage because of the DR. However, the frost damage does get through, and so Thun is able to chip away with one attack, and then with

the second attack, misses on the second attack. Chip, chip. God, Thun is really just not... Something's off with Thun, and then with the second attack, misses on the second attack. Chip, chip. God, Thune is really just not... Something's off with Thune, and Baron, having talked to him now, you understand why. Yep. Let's go back to... Metro, you're pretty far away from that one up there. You ran from it.

I full withdrew. You full withdrew. All right, so that one is going to take a five foot step and then attack Baron. Full attack. Let's just go ahead and let's activate power attack. Let's put it on. Let's just see what happens. 30 to hit.

Miss. Yeah. Thanks for that judgment of sacred protection. I'm assuming then this one will miss. Oh, actually another 30. I rolled 30, this one will miss. Ooh, actually, another 30. I rolled 30-30 with Power Attack. They both missed. This is Baba Walters.

Welcome to 30-30. Baba Wawa. The one that has got Dalgorth on his back is actually going to do the same thing. Let's see here. 30 again. Oh, boy. Followed by a natural 20. There she is. I knew she was due. Got to confirm that. Let's see if I'll confirm. Doesn't matter. Oh, boy. Followed by a natural 20. There she is.

I knew she was due. Got to confirm that. Let's see if I'll confirm. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. We're all immune to crits. Right. You are all immune to crits.

Wouldn't have been confirmed. However, it will be... Exploding die? Exploding die. How appropriate. Remember that we're also immune to precision damage. You're immune to precision damage. Okay.

This no exploding die, 23 points of damage, plus the burn damage. You're on fire, but that's going to tick on your turn. Well, that happened during an attack of opportunities. We won't worry about that now. However, the burn damage does not go past your threshold. The threshold of 10 points. Correct. So just a real crushing hit there and then

that's it for that guy. And then the one that cleaved Thun and Jimmer is going to try and do the same thing again. Back to Cleveland. Hits Thun, unfortunately. I'll roll that damage in a second. Let's see if it hits Jimmer. Jimmer, it's going to be a 20.

Miss. I love it. Nine. All right, so that's a miss on Jimmer. Unfortunately, it does hit Thune. So it hits Thune for two eights on the D8. Whoa. That's bad

Don't forget his stone skin Or he didn't get it He didn't get it He got bull strength That's right That's right So he should have been doing more damage But anyways

And hitting more It's not gonna matter 2 8's on the d8 So 23 points of damage to Thun How's Thun looking? Thun's not great Remember he could dispel particular form to

heal 5d6. Right. He has a swift axe. And I get to give him the fast healing as well. But anyways, Thun took a big crunch. However, it didn't go through to hit Jimmer. We're going to a new round. Obviously, we're going long. I want to see the end of this combat. Dalgrith, what do you got? Dalgrith

mounted atop this thing. Can't get through. Can't do any damage. He's looking at the, you know, trying to find a weak spot. Can't find anything. All of a sudden he stops staring at this creature. He's like thinks in his head, what am I thinking? And he plants both of his feet on the creature.

Walks kind of up a foot, right? So he's like kind of all packed in on it. And then boom! Launches himself off of the creature, backflips, lands back behind it on the ground, provoking from both other creatures as he engages his haste, moves out a good distance. Wow. About 30 feet away from the two creatures.

So both of them will get swings at him if they want it. Let's get him out of the way. Let's get him out of the way. So both of them will get swings at him if they want it. Let's get him out of the way. Let's get him out of the way. That's going to be a 37 to hit. It hits. All right.

So the first one hits with a 37. That's the one that had power attack on. That is going to be 11. 26 points of damage. Okay. Roll a reflex save to see if you burn or catch on fire. You didn't take any burn damage 20

You're fine And then the other one Ooh, that was sitting on the natural 20 Is a miss Okay So he flips off backwards But will get himself back Gets himself into position

Squats down a little bit And then closes his eyes Says a power word And the headband starts a Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom Yes And he fires a cone of cold Yes At both of the nice power word and the headband starts a whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo. Yes. And he fires a cone of coal at both of the nice elementals. That is gorgeous.

That is beautiful. Now we're talking. There we go, baby. Now we're talking. Will that hurt Baron at all? No, it's 30 feet. So they're at the edge of that. Yeah, the edge of both of them.

Thanks to your hay circuit. Okay. Come on. Come on. Come on. So many ones. So many ones. So many. Reflex save, right? edge of that yeah the edge of both thanks to your hay circuit okay come on come on come on so many ones so many ones so many uh reflex save right uh yes uh so that is oh god i wrote terrible oh that sucks what an ass uh it'll go through extra. Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't. It sucks.

Uh, round's over. All right. What's the DC of the reflex say? DC is 16. Okay, they both, one of them passed, one of them failed. All right, so it's 19 points of damage for the fail and eight or whatever, nine points of damage for the success. Okay. Uh, 7d6.

Oh. Did 19. Oh. Fucking awful. Threed6. Did 19. Fucking awful. 3-1s. No 6s. Look at that re-roll! So many 6s and 5s! Well, the one that you were on is in rough shape. The one that's sitting in that finish of Baron! Lava pool.

And it is Baron's turn. Baron, you felt that icy chill hit the air. Ooh! My nipples are hard. Baron sees Thune and Jimmer not faring terribly well. Jimmer's obviously not hurt, but Thune is. So Baron is going to take a five-foot diagonal step away from the two giants, putting himself only within critical, or not critical,

attack of opportunity range from one of them. You'll actually be in attack of opportunity range for all three of them while you're standing there. Holy moly. Because they have 15 feet of them. You'll actually be in attack of opportunity range for all three of them while you're standing there. Holy moly. Because they have 15 feet of reach. Well, it's up to you to decide if you want to take a swing at Baron. Here's the good thing. The two up top already took it. But the one at the bottom, does he want to take a swing before he takes it? No, he doesn't. He's focused on Jimmer and Thunes here. So Baron wanted

to get closer to them so he could heal if need be. Here is the attack against the currently magma covered. The one that Dogwrath just jumped off. Just left off of. Here it comes. That's a hit. Yeah, buddy. Give me that sweet sweet damage, Baron. Make it minimum

45 or I walk out. 37. 37 total. I'm walking out. Get out of here. It's dead. Yeah! The old lava puddle romance. Imagine it like slowly crumbling into the lava. So you see Baron firing one of the triggers on his pistol, one of the hammers on his pistol,

and then as the magma elemental crumbles to the ground, whipping it towards the elemental currently engaged with Thune and Jimmer to fire off his second attack. By the way, your burn damage ticks on this turn, but you don't take any because it was only three points of damage, and that doesn't pass your threshold. 20 to hit. That's a hit. Boom.

Yeah, that's definitely a hit. That's not very good. 33. Okay, this is the one that was by itself. I'm attacking Thun and Jimmer. Oh, okay, 30. I want to accelerate the process of that. Wait, you said 33?

Yep. Okay, that one's still kicking. All right, third attack out of the Zaffron shot, just free action, kicks open the double barrel pistol. Ka-choo, ka-choo, two alchemical cartridges inside to shoot. Natural 20. No!

No crit. I'll tell you right now, it's dead. Yeah! That's a good Baron is lighting this right. Of course he is, he's inspired. This is his time to shine. That giant symbol on the wall. Yeah. There's one left, Baron. You're 15 feet away from it.

What do you want to do? This is my goddamn home. Fires. Hits. Hits. 16, I'm guessing. Double digits everywhere. Was that your fourth attack?

Yep. And rapid shot. 11, 14, 40 points of damage. Wow. Classic number. Classic 40 every time. Metro, what do you got? Can you add anything to this fight?

I'm going to do a disintegrate. Oh, this is what I'm talking about. You can do it. I'd say you missed your last five disintegrates. 26 to hit. Touch A. Yes. What is my save?

Fortitude, unfortunately. That's his best time let's see what he's got daddy 19 no wait no we talked about this do you do you get another like ranged attack yeah someone no no you have to enact the ability to do the team but no no it's always active for me the teamwork ability the point is is that the way it's written really says ranged attacks what does it say specifically i'll read it to you one second um what's you and your allies pelt your enemies with a deadly barrage of missiles okay i don't think that counts as a missile maybe magic missile might magic missile magic missile but that's not a ranged attack right so yeah i don't think any of the magical things would work.

Okay. Well, it's 5d6 points of damage. Okay, is it energy damage? It is. Yes, it is. It is. It's transmutation, though. Metal elemental is the school.

No, it's energy damage. Okay, so it's the type of damage that would bypass it. Yeah, it would bypass DR, yeah. So that's 15 points of damage. Okay. And then I'm going to leave it at that. You're going to just leave it would bypass. Yeah, it would bypass DR. So that's 15 points of damage. Okay. And then I'm going to leave it at that. You're going to just leave it at that. Okay.

This one's, God, they really haven't done anything to you guys. They've tried. Well, you guys have taken some damage. Thune's in rough shape, but that's to be expected. It is Jimmer's turn. Jimmer, the one that you were fighting is now crumbled into just burning rock. All right, Jimmer turns his back from this bouncing pile of pumice stones

and rushes over towards the other remaining magma elemental, incurring an AoE if it has one. I know it already used it against the Algarth. All right, so he's going to take his one swing at it. Big swing. And that is a 34 to hit. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Fuck. Minimum damage again. 25. 25. All right. So again, just chipping away. Everybody's contributing to the fight here. It is Thun's turn.

Thun is... Can Thun charge? He sure can. Wow. So Thun just... Ah! Thun is due! Come turn. Thune is... Can Thune charge? He sure can. Wow. So Thune just... Thune is due! Come on, Thune! 90-13.

That's going to hit. There you go, Thune. All right, come on, Thune. You've got to roll good damage. You've got to break that DR. 11, 19. That's nine points of regular damage. And then with the 1d6 cold, full six, which is going to be nine points of cold damage.

Old Thune McGee. That's huge. And what did I say the first damage was? Another nine, right? All right, so Thune actually did something. Yeah, Thune. Nice. Thune's all fired up.

It is the magma element. Oh, you added that half again to the cone of cold. I did. Because I did not. I did, I did. Thank you. All right, let's see here. It is the magma elementals turn.

He. His his friends have all passed. He tries to retreat. Wouldn't run away into the lava. You retreat into the lava. And I think that will, even on a full withdraw, it will provoke from Thun. So Thun swings again. Natty 17.

Thun hits. Finish him, Thun. And Thun kills him. Oh! Yeah! MVP! So as it's running, Thun is able to kill it Great job Thun

I had a max 6 on the cold again So Thun kills it on it's way out All the elementals Are gone And the room is eerily quiet Except for the sound Of this rolling Lava

You stuffed a bunch of boxes into your bag, and just as before this fight took place, you saw something strange. Both Baron and Metra, sort of near... near what might have been an altar at one point. What do you want to look at? Let's flip through the boxes

Alright, so you open up the boxes Or you go into the sack Is it a handy haversack or a bag of holes? Bag of holes You pull out these boxes What you got there? Dogwraith walks back up as they're pulling them out Pulls one out himself

You open one up And It's empty Is it? But for Dogwraith chucks it in the lava one up and it's empty. Is it? But for... Dogwraith chucks it in the lava. It's not in this one! Waste that whatnot!

It's empty but for the impression of where a gun would be held. Oh, okay. And you keep looking through and all the boxes are empty, but you can tell they all held different kinds of guns. Whoa.

Wow. And we'll see you next week. Oh, God. Who has them? Are they scattered about somewhere? Charlton Heston? It somewhere? Charlton Heston? Get the pinheads all up. It's a Charlton Heston elemental.

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