The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 237 - Breath Wish

Episode Date: December 10, 2019

The heroes' continued search of the new level of Ashpeak leads to an unexpected discovery. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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With the TD Aeroplan Visa Infinite Card, earn up to 50,000 Aeroplan points. Conditions apply. Offer ends June 3rd, 2024. Visit tdaeroplan.com for details. This week on the glass cannon podcast a bunch of tunnels bunch of maps a bunch of good buddies having a good time yeah the heroes gamble on a dangerous way forward oh geez uh keep going yes he's going to stealthy lean a leg out, another one, and then start climbing down as quietly as possible, finding the grooves.

I'm going to take this time to help Joe out and prepare his next card. But with every risk, if in about an hour I don't come back, you come and find me. You come and find me. Come and get me. Get me out of here. Comes the hope of reward. So here's the thing.

I think, clearly, it seems like we're getting closer to our final objective. The adventure continues. This is crazy. This is absolutely crazy and the reason why we play. Now. No. Hello, everybody. Welcome to episode 237 of the Glass Cannon Podcast. My name is Skip Maher, and I just want to tell everybody that we, oh man, we had such an amazing time in Philadelphia, the nation's first capital. Philadelphia, the nation's first capital. We at PAX Unplugged, we did our two shows.

We did the main stage show with Jason Bowman and Eric Mona of Paizo. That went very well. And then we did our Strange Ian show at Underground Arts. That was a blast, too. Thank you to everyone who came out. That was so fun. Joe's family was there. It was amazing. And tons of new merch. That was so fun. Joe's family was there. It was amazing. And tons of new merch.

We had hoodies. We had Tom Exposition koozies. Had new hats with the new logo. It's so, so cool. And the poster from the Philly show, I think, is one of our best ones yet. But you know what I'm equally excited for? Is this newest episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast

episode 237 I can't believe I'm going to do this I can't believe I'm going to waste quality air time with a recipe from a man who is known to eat nothing but twigs

oh yeah baby every restaurant we go to I forgot you guys got chicken parm? who is known to eat nothing but twigs. Oh, yeah, baby! Every restaurant we go to. I forgot. G'day, you guys got chicken parm? I'll just order off the kids' menu. Hey! You have crayons to draw on the... You guys got some crayons?

I want to finish this maze on the map. When we were in Boston, Troy picked out a great restaurant for us all to go to, and then somehow, after spending 15 minutes with Joe, our reservation got canceled. We had lunch at a shitty sports bar.

That place sucks. It was so bad. He did pull the wool over my eyes on that one. We were going to go to Island Creek Oyster House. We were really fired up about it. Oh, my God. And he was like, why don't we just get this place? I've got burgers and grilled cheese here.

Football. Hey. Hey. Football and chicken parm. It was just an upset. I'm not even going to even gonna get into it you guys you're such fools god that food was so bad troy sends out emails that are like 12 30 we'll meet at the bar and then uh was it like 1 30 or 2 o'clock we have these reservations and it's just that why go to that bar you're not gonna have any time why don't you go across town to this other place well nobody said that i'm the to have any time. Why not just go to the restaurant? You got to go across town to this other place.

Well, nobody said that. I'm the one that said, why don't we just stay at the bar we're at? Oh, that's why he canceled the trip to the oyster place? Yeah, it was Joe. Because of you? It was all of Brian. We ate that shitty food. He was totally like, he was like, I got to go work at this bar.

I was like, you know we're going to be there 30 minutes, then we have to leave to make this reservation. And he's like, yeah, you're right. We might as well just stay at the bar. Yeah, I mind you. The only thing lower than the quality of the food at that place was the esprit de corps of the staff. They were not happy.

We have to... Okay, so what's the name of that place? I don't want to shit on it. I love that place. It is... It is terrible. The main selling point of that place is its proximity to Fenway Park, we'll have to say. Yeah, the service was a bit chilly. Yeah wasn't great cold let me ask you this joe do you think do you fat do you

do you think in your mind that you're a man with a distinguished palate yes i do do you know do you know that no one else thinks you have that i don't know why you think that but i was thinking of myself like i think joe thinks he has he's a really like has a real cultured tongue well i mean the number of things i've seen you literally like cower in fear from at a restaurant suggests otherwise literally i love watching joe's face when he tries something new like when i ordered the gooey duck up in uh that was the sashimi the sash, that was... The sashimi. The sashimi geoduck. That was a show unto itself.

It looks like the apes at the beginning of 2001. Start smashing the plate. Just fear, bemusement. Yeah. All right, fair enough. But I mean, I eat more... You know, I try things. You're trying. You're getting better. But I mean, I eat more. You know, I try things. You're trying.

You're getting better. But I just don't like to have like, I don't like to risk not liking my meal. That's the concern. I'll try your weird shit as long as I have a burger in front of me that I know I'm going to like. You were on a good track. Boston was a step in the wrong direction. Yeah.

It was a regression. Oh, I loved that Oyster House. We had a great meal there. We did have a great meal there. But that's like a dinner, we were gonna have at lunch time we can't enjoy ourselves we have a show right after like i want to sit there for a couple hours i have a couple cocktails relax it is an ideal situation to enjoy meals like before a show yeah because i feel i feel super nervous right and yeah i can't just like i can't relish a meal

under those circumstances. Yeah. And this place is like dimly lit, like really good menu. It's a perfect place to go for like a Saturday night out. Not necessarily for a two o'clock on a Sunday. Well, next time we'll eat there the night before the show. And then we'll get McDonald's for you on the way to the show. So please, I would love for you to regale us with the spaghetti and meatballs from the can recipe.

Oh, dare I say. I think this is going to blow people away to the level of the Mississippi. You're out of your mind. I'm telling you, dude. It's by a little chef known as Chef Boyardee. People don't know this. He's Italian. They don't know.

I think he's got a show. And this is perfect because it's the holiday season. It's an O'Brien family holiday tradition. Oh, boy. And I'm going to flip the script a little bit here. Potatoes. And I'm going to make a whole big meal. It's a dip.

Oh. It's a dip. That's fun. You want to bring to a party? Wait until you- Is this the dip that I know? Oh, yeah. Oh, okay.

So is this the recipe? You just open up the packet and sprinkle it into some sour cream? Yep. But I mean, with a few... I was joking. With a few surprises. This is good. See, the thing about the Mississippi pot roast was how easy it was to say what's in it, how

easy it was to make, and how delicious it is. This is right in line with that. Ladies and gentlemen, it's going to sound gross, but give me a minute. I give you corned beef dip don't give me that i'm telling you i don't want this it's great it is fucking great here we go so simple one cup mayo one cup sour cream equal parts boom talking about health one cup mayo hey it's just a dip you should only have a little bit grant don't get all like crazy it's not a meal one cup mayo one cup sour cream one half package hidden valley ranch original dry dressing talking about health talking about you

know you get two packages in this you got your pot roast and your dip boom right there so you should have these two things together a cup of mayo, you shouldn't have both in the same night. Wait, another cup? No. So I'm starting over. One cup mayo, one cup sour cream, half a package of Pity Valley Ranch dressing. You've got to let them mix first with the ranch. And then you add...

A cup of mayo, a cup of sour cream. Put it in the ranch dressing. Then get another cup of mayo. You've got to prime the first cup with the other ingredients. That's a floater. That's like a floater Over the original dip It's a garnish

It's a cup of mayo Garnished A dollop A dollop of mayo You dip a handful of mayo Into the dip And just Show it in your face

I was wondering What it's a dip for You don't wanna use chip Wait wait wait Have you never had mayo With mayo dip? It's a It's a

It's a low carb dip Oh man Yes That's low Very low carb Just call it an aioli And it's a low carb dip yes that's very low carb you just call it an aioli and it's healthy uh i'm sad there's only two more ingredients i'm gonna read all five off real fast oh my god one cup mayo one cup sour cream half a package of hidden valley ranch original dry dressing a half of a teaspoon of dill seed and a half a pound of corned beef chopped up that's it that's all it is it's good it is real you serve it over rye bread yeah you get rye bread cut it in half and then

you have half pieces of rye bread you'll give people a little fork or a little spoon a knife and then have them spread it i remember the first time you gave me that dip i think i ate three quarters of a loaf of rye bread in like 10 minutes like 10 minutes. I think I just ate almost an entire loaf of rye bread. I pretty much don't eat it year round. I eat it Christmas Eve and I eat it on Super Bowl Sunday. I make it on Super Bowl Sunday. That is a good one. I've had it at your Super Bowl parties.

Yeah. That accounts for your continuing to be alive. Yes. I recorded this. Yes, that's a rough one. It's not exactly healthy. But man, is it good. That's good.

And at the holiday time, it's perfect. We should do this every holiday season. Just five recipes leading up to the big day. I like it. The 12 days of Christmas. I'm a little worried about mine. Yeah, well, you got a week, man. Think about it.

Well, dig deep. There's the two ones that I would love to share, but I can't because I'm bound by oath not to. You can't give away your brisket secrets. Or my chili secrets. Or your chili secrets. Oh, dude, come on. Give away the brisket secrets. Or my chili secrets. Or your chili secrets. Oh, dude, come on. Give away the brisket secret. No, no, give away the chili secret.

I have such a hard time making good brisket. Is it a vegetarian chili? Then shut up, Matthew. We'll take the brisket. But the chili recipe is adaptable. Brisket recipe is brisket. The chili, that's... Just brisket?

How dare you? The fun thing about chili is, Matthew's right,isket how dare you the the fun thing about uh chili is matthew's right you can add you can take away more or less of whatever ingredient whatever floats your boat call in let us know what you want to hear from grant next week and then we'll do this again for a year is the chili recipe something you developed or is it an old family recipe or is it what's why is it so secret uh it's something that i well i started making chili about eight years ago it's not a family recipe something i found online and something i've been taken to the lab every time i can tell you that many of the ingredients uh have been doubled some have been reduced some have been replaced uh and the uh amount of jalapeno peppers have been quadrupled i could

only imagine five times i usually just fill these big mitts with as many jalapenos as i can fit and then pull up a jamaican pepper yeah as well to add to it you know what the other running trend of us eating together is that grant finds the spiciest thing on the menu orders it extra spicy and then proceeds to borrow everybody else's hot sauce no matter what we're eating you know speaking of my palate we had a situation with this where we ordered we were ordering pizzas and grant wanted pepperoni and jalapeno and i was like can we just have at least one plane so i have something to eat and you guys made fun of me made fun of me and then uh he made me try his pepperoni jalapeno and i was like that's pretty god damn good it is that's really good yeah gotta admit jalapeno makes everything better even jalapenos even jalapenos first you get a dip jalapenos you get a cup of jalapenos Even jalapenos Dip jalapenos in mayo

You get a cup of jalapenos And you put in the ranch and the sour cream Another cup of jalapenos You surprised me Joe You were smart You were smart about this That corned beef dip is outstanding Yeah you guys are going to love it

And here's the thing I don't eat corned beef I don't eat corned beef sandwiches I don't eat corned beef all year So like If you're like I don't think I like corned beef I don't eat corned beef all year. So, like, if you're like, I don't think I like corned beef. I don't want to try that. Try the dip.

Yeah, try the dip. It's so good. Corned beef is delicious. I know, but, like, I don't know. I just don't eat it regularly. It's so salty. I heard a rumor from somewhere. I don't know.

Maybe it was an email. That you were Irish. Yes, I know. So, it's a little surprising that you don't eat corned beef. I know. I stay away from that stuff. No whiskey. No corned beef.

No. No beer. None of that stuff. None of corn. I know. I stay away from that stuff. No whiskey, no corned beef. No. No beer. None of that stuff. No. None of that typical Irish stuff. What has happened to our show? It's the Glass Cooking Podcast. I don't think we're playing to our strengths.

We're not at all. I'll tell you. I think we had a lot of happy customers from the Mississippi Pot Roast. There's some hot dish fans out there. Crack chicken. Your stupid thing. now joe's corned beef uh so we wait with bated breath to hear about grant's spicy disaster next week tweet

at me about your corned beef dip experiences yeah tweet a picture of you dipping a handful of mayo into the corn please don't do that to yourself take videos of yourself eating a cup of mayo dipped into a cup of mayo we will send d20s videos of yourself eating a cup of mayo dipped into a cup of mayo. We will send D20s to everyone that eats a jar of mayo on camera. Stop. We call it the Jar of Mayo Challenge. It's a race. Sweep in the nation.

The Jar of Mayo Challenge. To raise awareness for the gustatory delights of a Philly Irishman. For everyone that eats an entire jar of Hellmann's by hand, we'll donate $300 to a charity of your choice. But if you dare. Are you trying to make listeners vomit? If you dare choose to eat a can of Miracle Whip, we're going to find you.

Yep. And you owe us $300. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, speaking of spicy dishes. So hot. We're going to find you. Yep. The new OS 300. Speaking of spicy dishes. So hot. It's hot here in this volcano.

That's a segue. You guys made some progress here. Again, I asked you, I think I was towards the end of last week, I asked you to zoom out. Like you see here, it's really a long, thin tunnel that's split two ways. You could see that off to the left, it continued on and then went down, and there was some light coming out of the way down. There was also tracks moving away from that area back towards the Great Stare. You guys decide to follow the heat source, which was to the right part of the fork,

which clearly is going north. You go, you know, 40, 50 feet or so, and it splits off again, and there's a door only about 50 feet away. You open the door, and you find a storeroom. Two-thirds of the storeroom completely emptied. Has it been used? Has it been sent somewhere? You don't know. But you're

like, hmm, this might make a good place to zip in and out if we need to lock the door behind us. Metro studies it. You keep moving forward. You've got to go another like 150 feet or so, and four-way intersection. You guys are to the south. There's something going on to the left, something going on to the right, and on to the right and then it continues north past the extent of Metra's vision it just keeps stretching on Metra goes ethereal and says I'm going to go check out

the room to the right immediately that heat that was enveloping her and bothering her goes away she's on the ethereal plane. She sees a room full of coal beds with chimneys smoking at the top.

She sees two fire giants walking around the room, kind of just making sure everything's going okay. Not only guarding the room, but watching over these orange and red-skinned lizard-like creatures that are toiling away in the smelt works. At the far end of the chamber, one of these creatures is just reclining on the largest bed of coals. I have been having such a hard time picturing this. It looks like a weird cartoon to me.

Watching everything. What's he smoking? A cigarette? He's eating grapes. He's leaning back. Yeah, it's just strange. It sounds like the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland. I was thinking exactly the same thing.

Yeah, except instead of smoking from a hookah, it's just smoking. Right. Just lying on a smoking... Just lying on a... Yeah. You do see, obviously, you're seeing this through the ethereal lens, but this creature does look to be, like, lounging in a state of repose and keeping an eye on what's going on.

Like, he or she is the one in charge. Would you call he or she a lounge lizard? Give me all your bottle caps. I'd say you used about five, five and a half minutes on your ten minute ethereal cloak. What do you want to do? Am I back with the group? Yes. I describe

everything I've seen and then I put it to the group to see what we want to do. Do we want to go after that four, disrupt their operation or do we want to keep going as we currently seem to be undetected?

I don't know, Mitra. To me, it sounds like there's nothing of real value in there. We don't need to go in killing things if we're not going to get anything out of it. I say we keep pushing north. We've got to find the vital parts of this organization and strike at that. This doesn't seem like anything that'll stop them. Aye, sounds like this smelt works the blacksmith.

But Baron looks at the awning or the kind of area leading into that room and he has kind of his own flashback to the battle in True Now in book one. Specifically that room where everything was burning and it was smoke filled and we're fighting those orcs with ferocity. And the team was down and we were close to death.

And he's looking at it and he's thinking to himself, is there a way I could knock this whole thing down and let them cook from the inside like a chicken in an oven? Just thinking like the most evil, awful thoughts. Right. Without even knowing who they are, just to like turn the tables against these bastards. Yeah, like you don't know what the situation is in there, but your instinct is kill them all.

Yeah. Well, it's something he's fighting against, but it's there. It's a desire, but he's going to's gonna you know agree and say metra do you have enough time left on that cloak of yours to look to the west before we go north i can try uh so when i look down that corridor do i have like is it worth it to go ethereal right away or should i scoop myself down and then go ethereal without knowing what's in there you feel like it'd be safer to go ethereal right away and then start moving oh so it's right there there's not yeah because it this is the one that dalgorth looked down and it kind of turns oh right see into it you do see the edge of the light though okay i'll go ethereal and i will uh go straight through the

wall and into whatever comes next you finally uh come very quickly into another large room. I'd say it's smaller than the room you were just in, but still pretty large. And then in the back of the room, it looks like there are smaller tunnels leading off from it. You look at the room itself, and it's kind of hard to get a real picture of it because the air is thick with what you imagine has to be smoke.

And so you're seeing everything through this haze and on the ethereal plane, black and white, like a film noir, just smoke filling the air. You do, however, see that the room contains giant-sized anvils, bellows, various tools, and furnaces to fill several smithies about the room. You also see, as you're walking about, several massive links of chain, each as thick as like a human leg, piled in various parts of the room. And against the north wall is an iron maiden.

Oh, whoa. Just as you're realizing that time is running out, you see that the tunnels leading off from this room to the west look like they all end in doors. There's three of them. And you come back and your time runs out. So she saw no source of that banging? No.

I thought the banging was coming from the right side. No. Banging from the left. Yes. Oh. Exertion from the right. Yes. Banging from the left. Oh, banging from the left, exertion from the left. Yes. Exertion from the right. Yes. Banging from the left.

Oh, banging from the left, exertion from the right. Right. I assume they were together. I assume the exertion was from the banging. Well. Left? Or do you want to go north and see what's up there and then come back here once we know it's that way? Got about nine different options right now.

Yeah. North is calling to me. All right. Let's go north. Yeah. Check out. And then I want to come back here as our first option if there's nothing up there fuck it all right north then north we'll head north um so you continue north you pass the passageways to the east and the west. Dalgret's still leading the charge here.

Like last week. Okay, to the edge of Metra's vision. You see down the end of the tunnel. You see that from where... Let me guess. It splits. No.

Yeah. Turns. Oh! Oh! See you next week. splits no oh yeah turns the tunnel turns to the east oh geez so back the way we came ultimately yeah uh dog go ahead and roll a stealth check come on 34 34 you stealth through Come on. 34. 34. You stealth through. And now that you've passed those rooms to the left and the right, you do feel that the farther north you get, it's less warm. Getting cooler.

Certainly not like, ah, cool 68. Sure, no. It's still in the high 80s. We passed the bellows. The high 80s. But you do feel the faintest touch of cool air. And it wraps around to the east. So I'll turn the corner. Turn the corner.

Let's go to another map. Another map? Oh, my God. I was not expecting that. No one to another map. Another map? Oh, my God. I was not expecting that. No one expects another map. Shug-gung-gung-goo. Oh, dear. Two big-ass maps in two weeks.

This is gearing up for a wild Christmas ep. If this wasn't in Roll20, by the way, Troy would have totally railroaded us somewhere else on that map. Because that would have taken him like three hours to draw. I say let's go back to the last map. What? Well, let's see what Troy...

We're onto something here. Let's see what Troy has to say, flavor text-wise. What's your fear, Metro? What do you think? I don't know. If you guys want to deal with the last map, I'm getting overwhelmed. Why are you so... Why are you shaking with fear?

Don't let the metagame scare you. You should also... I'm overwhelmed. Remember what Brander said. Keep in mind that... Let it go. Let it go, Matthew. If Troy were smart, he would make every map this large

and just have a tiny map inside of the fog of war. Yeah. Stop giving him ideas, Grant. Maybe this is the same map and I just split it in two. every map this large and just have a tiny map inside of the fog of war yeah stop giving them ideas maybe this is the same map and i just split it into two yes he got it he got it that goes back to our first days of playing together what do you guys want to do uh Bunch of tunnels, bunch of maps, bunch of good buddies having a good time. Yeah. Tunnel buddies.

Tunnel buddies. Won't rest until we open a third map. That part of the sequel to Deep Ash. That part of George's search history. Who'd you need a tunnel excavated? What? What? That's the last time you've heard porn music.

It was the 70s porn. Sound like the Little Mermaid. Jazzy 70s porn. All right, Dog Wraith will do the same thing. Though things have changed here a little bit. I mean, this is wide. This is 20 to 30 feet wide. Yeah, you went from 15 feet wide at best

to uh yeah much wider 20 so i'm gonna do a perception uh generally looking for traps ahead uh because i can't see too far anyway uh that is a 32 uh yeah you don't see any traps you don't hear anything you just feel occasionally a breeze past you. If you're standing there silently. Do any of you have long hair? Yeah. Dog Wraith does. Dog Wraith and Metro. You'll see Metro's hair just kind of flutter a little bit

and then come back still. Is there any light? No light. Complete darkness. Okay. Dog Wraith will keep moving forward. Stealth check. Chug, chug, chug, chug.

Sha-dunk, dunk, dunk, dunk. Flip, flop, flip, flip, flip. 40. 40 stealth. All right, so you're cooking along. You know, you go another 150 feet or so, and you see that the ground starts to change in elevation a little bit. It's almost some, like, steps.

Oh, my God. Like you're climbing higher into the mountain. Here we go. But we're looking at 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. You know, maybe like 15, 20 feet higher in elevation from where you were. But you've had the feeling ever since you left the Great Stair that you've been going up, up, up. Right, up and up and up.

So here's the thing. I think clearly it seems like we're getting closer to our final objective, whatever it is, on this route. However, it seems like there's a bunch of dead ends that we left along the way the things we don't know like what kind of valuable helpful things we find along the way and also since we are tracking xp we will be leveling up uh further down the line than than we otherwise would be if we cleaned out these other rooms um something to bear in mind no i i get it it shares my anxiety about

the other last map i know i just i just love it i love it i love the idea of like going right there that we found the way right there i'd love to i want to fast travel past all the busy work this is one of those things we can talk about like when the show is all over and like a wrap up post show thing. I remember when I, we first, first started, uh, the show reading book one,

seven, just fingering through the other books and fingering through this book and being like, are you kidding me? And so we'll discuss that someday. So to skids point as well, beyond XP, if we hadn't gone down deep into that pit, past the noxious fumes that at first scared away Dalgrith,

and then later gone back and cheated against those magma elementals so beautifully. Cheater! You also had two judgments on! Yeah, we didn't talk about that. We didn't talk about that. We didn't talk about that. You told me I could do it. I swear. Cover that one up. Anyway.

It's a cover up. It's an invisible. We could find something also as cooler within the proximity of those silent gloves. We did that. We found one of the coolest, most useful magic items we've ever found in the history of this adventure. And though Galabras may be

missing at this point in time. Lork may be reincarnated unbeknownst to us. Gormley might be gone. Baron remembers. The one room at Red Lake Fort we did not explore. The middle rooms. The middle buildings.

The middle buildings. Gormley was there. They'll haunt you to the day you die. Gormley wasn't there for that. Well, yeah, but... She was there in spirit. Thanks. The other character that's dead.

Can't remember her name. The other daddy. Tell-a. daddy I mean to me This also could be a way out The way that I think about it is that It's totally Metagaming And I think that we would push

If we had our objective ahead of us If we thought we were on our objective We would never turn around At the risk of maybe there's better items back Sure You know what I mean Like that's the way I approach But we also want to disrupt their operation Right We would never turn around at the risk of maybe there's better items back there. You know what I mean? Like, that's the way I approach this. But we also want to disrupt their operation.

Right. There's a huge army outside of this place that we might want to sneak past. And we might want to clear out something, things behind us so that we can cover our rear also. Yes. But I think that, and I always go with that, but we're beyond that. Like, we're outside of hearing range now from those things. And they're working. They're at loud, you know, bellows, anvils, that kind of stuff.

Like, they're not going to hear a combat and come running up behind us. I don't think. Well, there's most of the map behind us that we haven't seen. I know. But, I mean, this idea of, like, first of all, we don't have a mechanic like we had with the Skirkotlas thing. And there's a serious, like, something to be said for cutting the head off the snake as the thing that is going to, you know, disrupt their operations more than anything. We also have isolated, small isolated groups of enemies that we can assuredly wipe out. I know.

You know, it might cost us. You know, the other thing is like from a metagame here's a metagame reason to do it is like we just leveled up like we're gonna do this entire thing we're not gonna level up again before we're here that's true you know yeah now i feel like now we're putting a level we're putting a level on layaway but yeah it's true like yeah we can do it we i think i mean and as far just as far as pushing the narrative too because we're doing this for people listening so i think it's also a good idea to just push forward and like all right you know let's look you've convinced me skid okay let's

look wow that was fascinating you've convinced me, skid. What's wrong with you? Yeah. Get your shit together, man. I knew you'd be so mad about that. Your fanboy nonsense. You know how sometimes politicians don't get nominations even though they're the best ideas because they're just assholes? That's you, Joe.

Oh, I never have any good ideas, Grant. I'm certain that this is going to come back to bite us in the ass and it's all going to fall on me and that's fine. Were you pro-moving ahead or pro-moving ahead? Yeah. I think I wanted to wipe things out on a metagaming thing, but this is like again, Baron remembering book

one. He didn't know it was a book, but the battle there, everything that he's gone through, he'd want to go forward and see what he could do. Yeah. And this could be the reverse. I doubt it, but it could be the reverse. It also could not necessarily be the boss. Right. The boss could be yeah and this is could be the reverse i i doubt it but it could be the reverse it also could not be the necessarily be the boss right the boss could be in the other level on the far western side of the other level it's totally possible the only thing keeping him

from wanting to see as much as uh he could back there wanting to go back is that uh he could learn more about the ash peak lineage which is still we can still go back if we we don't know if we could after they die, you know? Or if we kill whatever's in there. If it is the big boss, you know, who knows? Yeah, then we go back and kill everybody. Yeah. It's not like a...

I don't know. It's not a video game where the whole mountain is going to just crumble to ash because they beat the boss. It could be. Good argument. So you move forward. Yeah. Yeah.

You can always change your mind. Let's go back. We all said that the same way as Kramer when he's asked, you afraid of clowns? Oh. Still afraid of clowns? Give me a stealth check, Dalgryph. Oh, here comes a natty one-zoney.

What do you think, Matthew? I think it's cracked. It's cracked until you shake it off the side. All right, that's okay. That is a 36. 36? Crack die mechanic only works if you stick to it when it doesn't benefit you. Yes, agreed.

I want to hype up Dalgrith. You have a much better stealth than I do. I was looking at my perception the other time when I said that we were close. Does that happen often? No. Curious if that's ever happened in the past, Grant. What's my knowledge of engineering? Oh, yeah, that's pretty good.

That's been a solid five for about ten levels. Unless you happen to look at perception. Not pouring a lot of ranks into knowledge of engineering. You skulk up ahead, and you get another, what? We'll say 100 feet, and you see that the cavern opens up. So now, just to give our fair listeners a sense of how far you've gone. Oh, my God. Almost 400 feet at this point since you...

Walked into the second map. Walked into the second map, we'll say, yeah. So we've done like a quarter mile or more. Guy walks into a second map. I've walked two marathons. I think I'll be fine. You see the room opens up and you see

things all over the floor up ahead in the cavern. What do you do? Well, you can't say things. You have to be more descriptive. And remember, 120 from Metro. 120 from Metro. 35.

I'll look, too. 33. Metro won, Joe. 27, I'm sorry. You see several large piles of shattered bones filling the room. Starts out maybe a handful or so, and then more and more and more bones. Joe, explain to our listeners what you just did with your arms. Let the record reflect that I just realized this is dragon territory.

Can we read that back? I flapped my arms to indicate that we're in dragon country now which i didn't even think of until yeah we were already this is what top of the mountain the dragons the witness made the drinky drinky motion the thing that i wanted to bring up when you went into the western most room at the beginning of this when they said making chains the size of human legs i wanted to say oh those are dragon chains yeah that's a good thought i didn't think of that yeah that's what they're making there they're keeping this thing like locked down i think yeah and but if they're we can negotiate

with fuck i wish pembroke was here God damn it That would be amazing He speaks Draconic I think Dalgrith No he's not He's stupid There's a pretty good chance He's a dumb idiot

He's stupid There's a pretty good chance That dragons could speak common But Um Either Either way Speak Draconic

If they are Metro did I'm sorry Della did She did If they're making New chains Or chains to begin with, perhaps this dragon has escaped. I don't know.

There's so much conjecture now, and I'm just scared. I really doubt that it's escaped. I don't think we're going to get it to the top. We're like, oh, the dragon's gone. Maybe. Maybe, but... APs are famous for just depriving you of enemies. All right.

All right. You know, sometimes, Skid, you're mean. I don't like it. Now the question is, are we ready to fight a dragon? Are you ready? Are you? He's pointing fingers at everybody.

Let the record reflect that Joe has pointed a finger in all of our faces. He's very close to my eyeball. I've only fought one before, and it took the life of a very close friend. They are

horrifying beasts, but they can be killed. I don't know if one's here or not, but you better make your peace with your god who I can't remember. Tuor. Tuor.

I just had a brain fart. It's very late. What's his name? Dear God, who I can't remember. Tuor. Tuor. My own guy. The same one you are. I just had a brain fart. It's very late. Tuor. What's his name? What's his name again? God. Don't tell him I asked.

You know, the guy, the Jesus. I mean, there are some buffs we can do. Oh, the problem is you're used to a cloak. Oh, such a bad choice. Seriously, though, because we could get a sense of what... We don't even know what energy this dragon could be. It could be any...

Still greater invisibility. Sure. But I mean... That's rounds. Or invisibility. Yeah, that's rounds. And just don't attack him and come back. Do a fucking Bilbo. Just goibility. Yeah, that's rounds. And just don't attack him and come back. Do a fucking Bilbo. Just go invisible. Yeah, go invisible.

Go in there. Don't steal any of his cups. And then come back. He won't be mad. And then tell us. Matra. Matra. Matra.

Matra. And by the way, with the length of Stoneskin, I think all of our Stoneskins are gone. 200 minutes on the casting i think all this time exploring is probably gone by now yeah it's time to teleport back to the forge and then come back um all right i'll go invisible okay greater invis regular invis so it'll last a while okay how long's a while uh 14 minutes okay i can always recast that's a while um i'm so spooked are we gonna stay put you come back here meet us here right burglar if in about an hour i don't come back you come and find me you come and you come and

get me get me out of here how are we gonna find you you're invisible i'll eventually become uninvisible all right we'll wait 13 minutes and are we going to find you? You're invisible. I'll eventually become un-invisible. All right. Well, wait 13 minutes, and then we'll come find you. How are we going to distinguish your cracked bones from the rest of them out there? Her shredded corpse will become invisible. Well, at that point, you'll have no way to get out, so you won't have much choice. All right.

All right. Maybe you better stay here. Darren, go invisible. Find the dragon. Actually, that's not a bad idea. Why don't we send you actually yeah yeah you're the stealthy beefy guy yeah actually you fought a dragon i agree soon you should go all right no send the burglar that's that's that's the that's the classic trope

that's the Tolkienian way whatever do, don't touch anything. Okay. I'll go. All right, so we'll make Dalgrith invisible. Make Dalgrith invisible and I'll go. Do you want to fly in there on the broom so you don't accidentally kick a skull over? No, I feel more comfortable on my feet. All right.

You should take the broom in case you have to make a quick getaway. It's not any faster than walking. You just avoid obstacles, but he's welcome to take it so dalgryth he doesn't want it you don't want it you go invisible get about 12 minutes you want to start exploring the space 14 minutes 14 minutes and he wants to start exploring the space yeah we'll reveal a little bit more okay okay just to start off Oh my god Oh my god That's a lot of bones man Place yourself

You know anywhere you want In there as you start to explore I'll give you a little more Flay of text Metro will kind of Make her way up to the edge Of the tunnel And kind of peek around

To see out As Dalgrith makes his way there Dalgrith as you move forward You know now you're like Almost climbing over bones in some places. You see that this large volcanic cavern is split into an upper level, which you're on, and a lower level.

And up ahead, you see a rippled cliff of hardened volcanic rock separating the two. So right now, the ceiling's like 20 feet above you, but it goes down 20 feet so that the ceiling on the lower level is 40 feet up. Make sense? Yeah. Every step forward you take, more wind starts to buffet you. And you hear sounds echoing on the wind.

Where do you go from here? This is so scary. He's going to stay to the south, hugging the wall. Okay. And just move along the wall, trying to, like, it's almost like putting a hand out and touching it once in a while just to, like, make sure he doesn't get himself, leave himself too open. Carry.

Potter. Come to die. Arrogant Steve Steve Steve Legendary Fantasy Hero

Steve Steve Steve of Melnibonic Boomer Asai Asai Boomer

Keep Stealthin How does it work again? Is it plus 20 if you're moving? Keep stealthing How does it work again? Is it a plus 20 if you're moving? It's still a plus 20? I believe so Let's look at the spell I think it's plus 40 if you're just completely still Yeah, it's like a super bonus

Plus 40 if you're moving Yeah, plus 20 if you're moving Okay, I'm gonna like keep trying to be so quiet you're gonna have to do some like finding a bear in the wild play dead shit and be a mobile on stealth checks if this thing can smell you yeah you're dead oh yeah you can't teleport away i can feel it here i can feel like i could see this i can see it it's yeah awesome all right i'm gonna keep moving forward that was a 60 by the way still yeah so imagine just walking you see this huge pile he's not

he's not making any sound yeah what do the bones look like quick perception like are their bones giant creatures giants you know is it all small folk bones uh sorry that is a 30. Sorry, 29. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of medium humanoids. You see some that are like maybe woolly mammoths, bones of large and huge animals, and then larger creatures as well. You don't know if they're giants or not. Okay. Do I see any skulls of monstrous creatures?

Or any skulls I see humanoid? The skulls that are most readily apparent to you look to be like a skull that looks like yours. All right, I'm coming up towards the edge of this freaking cliff. Malnourished from only eating mayonnaise. Yeah, you're coming up to the edge here, and you see that... I'm going to walk straight out now in the open to the edge of this cliff. The piles of bones, is this something we could conceivably hide behind? No, no, it's not.

At its highest point, it might be five feet high. It's still pretty high. Do you guys want to come up close to me in case I can give us protection from energy or something? For sure, yeah. Yeah, or zip into him and then zip out. Yeah, just stay within reach of me. Yeah, show me

the extent of your vision. I'll give you as much as you can say with your 60 feet of dark vision. I guess we can't even see Dalgrith anymore. Yeah, we can't even see Dalgrith anymore Yeah we can't It's at a certain point Dalgrith just

Disappeared into the dark Yeah well we can't see him anyway I'm invisible That's right But if he were to become Even if the dragon Were to come out We wouldn't be able to see it

Just staring at this Dark pit Encircled by A pit of bones You look down More bones How far down is it? 20 feet 20 feet? Yeah The ceiling above you encircled by a pit of bones. You look down, more bones. How far down is it? 20 feet.

20 feet? Yeah. The ceiling above you is 20 feet now. The ceiling from the floor to the roof of this cavern is 40 feet. And for the record, he is 200 feet away from us. 205. 205 is the crow flies. All right, I'm going to move to the south here.

Back, back, back, back. It's gone. I'm going to move to the south here. Back, back, back, back. It's gone! I'm going to move to the south around the rim of the cliff. It looked like there was still places to go this way. Okay. Around the edge of the crater.

So you start you're staying on the top portion of the two-tiered volcanic cavern. Got great climbing skills. You know that. You've already been to Deep Ash Peak. Yeah, he was tempted to just clamber down it, but he's like,

let me see what's up here first before I commit to going down. You want to skirt the sort of southern edge here as much as you can. So you're walking along, crunching bones as you go. Give me another stealth check. Don't crunch no bones. That is 53. Okay. Continues and ends at a certain point, but then stretches to the south.

I thought it ends at the south. It ends on the east. You see that the cavern wall ends, but then it turns around back on itself. Oh, it wraps around, like, back toward my allies, basically, in that direction. Generally, yes. Oh, jeez.

Keep going. I'm going to go into the crater. Yes. uh keep going i'm gonna go into the crater yes he's going to stealthy like you know lean a leg out another one and start climbing down as quietly as possible finding the grooves i'm gonna take this time to help joe out and prepare his next character this one will be good in combat. So you just keep chunking along there. And with every step, more of the...

And now you feel like breeze coming in. You can't see up ahead, but you feel like somewhere 80 or feet ahead of you is an opening to the outside. Out into the open air. A way out. But maybe Baron's right. Maybe the dragon's just not here now, but comes and goes from this very spot. Roll a perception check. 26. 26.

So you're inching forward here. I'll give you some more, Matt. You earned it. You see that there's another sort of sinkhole similar to the one that led to Deep Ash Peak. Deep Ash Peak 2. The north.

Oh, man. The northeast. And that wind is coming directly from the north. You also hear... Do you speak giant? Yeah. I hear something like they're having problems downstairs. I'm glad

we're up here on duty. And where is it coming from? It's coming from the opening I'm glad we're up here on duty. Hmm. And where is it coming from? It's coming from... The opening? The opening that feels like it's just beyond the edge of your vision. All right, then I'm going to risk a little further to see if I can see who's talking. So Dothgrith, sneaking up.

Edges further. I want to hear that, heartbeat sound oh yeah i gotta get out the heartbeat big bro dothgrith edges ever further that's just my heartbeat you edge ever further and you see two fire giants standing at an opening that opens out overlooking outside of the mountain. And they're just standing there with their back to you looking out. Is there any light from that? Yes, now there is light coming through.

Wait, did you guys come back during the day or did you come back at night? I believe we came back during the day. You didn't specify, but it's not like Skirgard where you're like, we need a night mission. It's dark here, no matter what. Right. Yeah, so it's daylight streaming through. But, like, it's not a direct drop-off.

It's, like, probably 5, 10 feet or so, and then it slopes down to the ground, you would assume. Okay. So you see two fire giants. What are they guarding over there? Yeah, what are they... They're so strange.

It's such a weird place to be standing guard. Let's try to keep something from leaving. It's funny you mention that. Yep. Because at that moment, you hear a sound behind you Oh no Crunching

And you see Towards the southern portion Where it wrapped around Emerging out onto the map a red dragon and it was prowling around and it looks right at you and it just goes

roll for initiative oh my god, no! Roll for initiative. Oh my god. Holy fuck. Roll for initiative! Oh god. Jesus Christ. Oh no. Oh gosh.

Oh my god. Burglar! Oh. This is not great. Oh. I should have rolled a check to see if dragons normally see invisibility. Dammit. Oh.

And let's just check for the, just to set things up to see how far away we are from Dogwreath. And that would be 280 feet. This is crazy. This is absolutely crazy and the reason why we play. Let's see what happens. It's a dragon! Killing Joe's characters is the reason why we play? It's the reason we've mostly played.

The result, more of the reason. Baron, what do you got? Oh, boy. 20. 20, okay. Jimmer? I rolled a natural one. This is just unbelievable.

That'd give me a six. Six. Total. Six total for Jimmer. Metro, though, you must have rolled well. Natural five. For a 14. 14 for you.

And Thune rolled a 25. There you go, Thune. Skrrt. Thune. Go ahead. Start charging. Thune, enter elimination mode. What about Dalgrif Deathbringer?

Don't think I can remember a more important initiative than this one. Natural two. Oh, my God. You've got to be kidding me. I mean, just trash garbage whenever it matters. I was feeling so terribly for Joe, legitimately. And then that was the most well-timed Joe's gonna roll in the 200 plus episodes of this podcast. That really was.

So that's a 14. 14 total. Hey, you get to go before I do. And before Jimmer. Oh, God. That's some solace. I bet the dragon has like an 82. It is Thun's turn.

Oh. I believe we've found the dragon. I mean, do we know that, actually? Like, what do we know back from where we are? You heard a scream. You heard the dragon. Oh, it did scream. Yeah, it screamed.

we are you heard a scream you heard the dragon did scream yeah it screamed and you know you are oh let's see 260 feet away from the dragon 280 feet away from dalgrith over 325 feet away from the fire giants who were also alerted to this um so you hear it It's a big cavern. It echoes. So Thune is like, Sheriff Thune, I believe our friend is in trouble. What do you advise? This is very dangerous, Thune. I've seen these things act in battle before, and though it may be more dangerous with their breath weapons,

we stay together as a group so that Metra can use her magics upon all of us. We are all leaving this mountain alive, hopefully with the dragon's head. But if we need to retreat, we need to stay tactically in a group, even if it means risking the fire and flame of a dragon's tongue. Tell that to our friend. All right, I will wait. Well, no, you should... The Baron will go. You should move forward, but don't get too far ahead.

Oh, I misunderstood you. I thought you said we would stay together and let the dwarf die. I can try this thing. Here's the thing. So, Dalgrith is in trouble, for sure. The dragon can see him. The giant still can't.

He does have evasion, so he should be able to have a decent chance if it uses his breath weapon on him to evade it completely. It's not my first dragon fight, Jim. Yeah, so it's not a done deal. There's definitely a very slim chance we'll survive. Slim chance? Sometimes that's all you need i just see us moving in like a SWAT team to try and save him like uh checking all angles and like being close enough to each other so we can do things

together that's what i'm trying to get the yeah yeah all right so no double moves is basically what baron says if you move 30 feet, I want everyone to move 30 feet ahead until Della can reach up to us and do whatever. God damn it. Metra. I'm Metra. Metra can move close enough to us. Or just hold.

Yeah. I can literally get us all there. But you can't see that far. It doesn't matter. Okay. All right. So Thune says, I'll listen to her. Perfect.

And Thune holds. It is Baron's turn. Baron holds. Steely gaze's turn. Baron holds. Steely gaze in Metra's eye feels terribly because his friend, a member of Strike Team Delta, could be dead based on this inaction. What kind of member of Strike Team

Delta alerts the dragon? But he's gonna trust Della. Metra. Strike Team Della. Strike Team Della. Strike team Della. Well, it is the dragon's turn. No shit. Well, we couldn't

have gotten there anyway. Shocker. This is so awful. Oh, God. Okay. Is it normally one PC versus a dragon

in these battles? Yeah. I think that's the common way. I mean, you just got to see this map, too. It's like the dragon is, what, 50 feet from Dalgrith, and he's 60 feet from the giants right in between the two of them and 275 feet from his ally. I also wonder if a giant would even want to get caught in the crossfire.

I bet they just, like, watch and smoke a cigarette. And they're just like, how long do you think he's going to last? I don't know. They're betting on it in the corner. They like watch and smoke a cigarette. And they're just like, how long do you think he's going to last? I don't know. They're betting on it in the corner. They like to watch. All right. Oh, man, Joe. They also can't see in the dark.

True. Who? The giants. Unless they have something special. It's true. But they're in the light. Can you be more descriptive about the dragon? Yes.

There's a crown of cruel horns surrounding the head of this mighty dragon. A dragon that... What is it? A dragon that a baron would recognize, because you fought one very similar high atop Minderhall's Cathedral. It looks to be a young red dragon. Oh, it's a young red dragon. Okay. It looks to be, but...

Okay. So we're fine. It might not be. I don't think the one we fought had... It looks to be, but it might not be. don't think the one we thought it looks to be but it might not be a cruel crown it might have had work done it is gonna go ahead and just fly right up to you and unleash a breath weapon i need you to roll a reflex save while i gather some d10s all right i've been saving this for a really long time.

This goes back to Atlanta. Atlanta show meet and greet after party hang. Some great group of people. I can't remember your names. I apologize. But great group of people came up. We were hanging out. They were a Pathfinder group and they were awesome.

And one guy gave me this gorgeous like Lord of the Rings, Elven script, leather cup, dice rolling cup with a D20 in it. And he gave it to me. He said, roll this when it's the most important roll. Oh, man. There you have. And I still have never opened it. I don't even know what the D20 inside looks like. I've never seen it.

I've saved it. And I just haven't. Dogger hasn't been in a whole lot of danger. So this one's for you, thank you thanks i'm just gonna open yeah thank you sorry i don't remember your name i apologize i'm gonna open this thing up i'm just gonna roll it i don't even know what the d20 looks like oh man make sure it's a legal d20 at some point or maybe it's ebola open it over there full of ebola my heart's pounding. All right, so this is reflex save. Uh-huh.

Here it is. Here it is. Here it is. Oh, my God. Snakes. Out of the box. Not two shavs. 28.

28. You saved. Oh, yes! Not bad. Half damage. Oh, that is Not bad. Half damage. Oh, that is some half damage. Would have been 42 points of damage.

Instead, it's 21 points of damage. Or zero points of damage. Listen to all of y'all. It's a sabotage. That's truly amazing Yeah I'm an adventurer Invasion May save you Hell yeah

It certainly may That's what I was saying The thing is We really gotta put it To the test though I feel like Just You know

Saving a one breath Weapon is really not enough Two more dragons Fly up behind Wait Whoa What the fuck? What? Oh, no. And both unleash breath weapons on you. Oh, my

God. He said, you know what? And you're doing this all by the book. Their movement and everything, they have enough movement. When Thune said rookery, I was like, oh, that's normally more than one dragon, but I didn't even dare to think that that could be a possibility.

Oh, my. It's possible. Wow. They come flying in on both sides, an unleash. Please roll one reflex save while I gather my

6d10 again. I'm stalling. I don't want to do it. I know. I don't want to do it. All right. I'm going back to Atlanta Dye. Come on, Atlanta Dye.

It's back in the gorgeous cup. You can hear the flames. I can hear it. The red dragon flames. I'm so nervous. Okay. Better. Saved.

Saved. Saved. All right. So, half dead? Oh, Better. Saved. Saved. Saved. All right. So half dead? Oh, no. No damage. No damage. Why even roll it?

Dancing and bopping and booping. That was natty 14. That was a 30. Give me a roll on the third weapon save. This is so big. It's like either massive damage or no damage. I know. That's why these rolls are so huge.

Oh, that's right. Because if you fail, you take it all. Take it all. You take all of it. I didn't think that. All right. Come on, Atlanta. Come on it all. You take all of it. Alright, come on, Atlanta. Come on, Atlanta. Keep it going. Again. Yes!

A kick! And you're just like, nipping and bopping like the Matrix. Like, ducking and like, rolling behind rocks and everything, just like, you know, keeping himself. He's actually holding a holy short sword in his hand.

I imagine at some point it's just like using the blade. It's like the white light. Yeah. Stopping the evil dragon's breath. It's a bulwark against the flame. You are surrounded by three red dragons. Oh, my God. And it is your turn.

Oh, my God. Oh, man. Jesus. Jesus. Now, if you make an offensive act against them, the fire giants will also be able to see you. I know. So I already thought of that. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to click my heels.

I got to turn off the red dragon flame. Sorry about that. All right. I'm going to click my heels because, man, if there's ever a time to start using up your ten hastes of the day. Yep. So can't take it with you. Can't take it with you.

Exactly. So click my heels. Now, I should let you know. Yes. The ridge there, you have to climb to get back up. I have to. Yes. I have to.

I do. I do, yeah. Can't scramble up. No. You have to roll a climb check, so that will affect your movement. But I'll let you know what the situation is. What I say, it was 20 feet high. It's an uneven surface.

Okay. So, yeah, he sees this. But you're a climbing master. No, I'm not worried about climbing it. It just still takes time. You know what I mean? Like, he can't, he doesn't. Oh, actually, nope.

He good. I forgot that. Yeah, he good. He is a wall climber, and he has a climb speed as long as it's vertical. Vertical surface. Really? Wow. Wow.

I have a climb speed of 20 feet. Oh, that's amazing. Wow. Yeah. That's exactly what it is. Oh, that's great. It's amazing. It's a ninja trick that I took as one of my rogue talents.

Oh, that's so cool. All right. I took as one of my rogue talents. Oh, that's so cool. All right. So, he is going to hasted double move right under the red dragon. The middle one. And runs behind it. Do you want to avoid the attack of opportunity?

Yeah. I'm going to attempt to avoid the AOA. I know you're invisible, but they can see it. Yes. Essentially. All right. So, you're going through a threatened space. I'm going.

Oh, it's in the air. You said it flies. Well, you said it flies off to me. Fly and land it. Oh, yeah. So I'm just going to run under it. I just need to roll to avoid the AOL. Okay.

So that's going to be. Don't you get a bonus to that? I do. Yeah. Five plus the CMD of the creature. Five plus the CMD of the creature. That is a 39. You're all right. Okay. Right through its legs. Nice. Right CMD of the creature. That is a 39. You're alright.

Okay. Right through its legs. Right through its legs. He dodges the gnashing teeth. And it was 20, 40. This is so classic. And then he gets up the ridge. He gets up the ridge because he can move, when he's hasted, he can move 80 feet. He can move 80 feet. And he has a climb speed

of 20 feet. So he's so fast. He's like, in two bounds, he leaps up the wall. Wow. And he's up at the top and invisible. Of course, they can all still see him, but at least he's creating some separation. It is Metro's turn. Alright. It is very hard to avoid metagaming here. Right.

Do your best. And Grant just put his head in his hands, because I think he's going to be very angry. No hands I was just scratching myself you're not that important So what I would know Is the sound of three dragons One scream three breath weapons Would you know that? No Metro would not know that

You would know there's a lot of shit going on down I would hear three separate breath weapons You would have seen the breath weapons There's fire I heard them and I heard them go off. You would have seen the breath weapons. There's fire. Fire in its light. Sure, sure. I've heard them and I heard them go off. Okay, okay. Where are you going with this? I'm just trying to engage distance. Okay. So basically what I'm

going to do is dimension door into the darkness. Into the darkness, okay. But I want to know, I wouldn't want to show up right next to a dragon. Right. So how far back would I pull us is the question. I see. I mean, this is a tough one because you don't know where they actually are standing. Do you know what I mean? And you don't have to see the place to dimension door into it, right?

Nope. I can just literally, I mean, I can, but I can also just state a direction. That way. Okay. Yeah. So I was assuming we'd just go like, in an ideal world world, we'd end up, you know, short of the dragons. Short of the dragons. Okay, that's going to be a lot easier for you than if you were trying to go past them.

Did the dragons move after they made their breath attacks? No, they flew into the room and then... And then they made... Well, I would say, like, a giant gout of flame would have illuminated enough of them to see where they currently are. Like, the same way planes land at night, there's lights along the landing strip, so, like, we have a point of reference you could be able to tell from where you

are to there, like, in between it. Show me in general where you want to be. I kind of want to be on the edge of the the edge of the crater. Alright, light up the exact spot. You can't see Dalgret, so. Just, like, I would go, we're gonna charge straight ahead, so I would say, see Dalgrit, so. Just like I would go, we're going to charge straight ahead.

So I would say like, you know, there. All right. Roll a, just roll a D100 for me. See how close you got. 80. That's fine. I'll put you right there. All right.

Before I go, I want to do, I want to say a couple, I want to say something. Okay. And then I want to do something before I cast that. Okay. All right.

I'm not moving you back, so just pretend you're correct. Before we go, I said, as soon as we land, scatter. Dragons can get us all in one breath weapon. Grant's making a face at me. That's fine. Fuck you, Grant. That's good advice.

Yeah, that's very good advice. That's fantastic advice. Sage. Sage advice. I'm also going to use the quick and meta magic rod, even though Grant was a real asshole, to cast Fly on Baron. Oh, that's close. I'm also going to use the quick and meta magic rod, even though Grant was a real asshole, to cast Fly on Baron. Revenge of the flying gunslinger. Play the top gun drop.

Okay, so Baron has Fly on him, and I grab everyone and go, and just appear roughly near the edge of the crater. And now we can see the dragons. And the giants can see you. And the giants can see us. And now we can see the dragons. Now you can see the giants can see you. And the giants can see us. And the giants can see you. This is nuts. And that is Metra's turn. All right. Thun will act.

And Thun will heed your advice and scatter towards the east. Or the northeast. All right. So Thun will move 30 feet. Actually, he'll

double move just sort of like to the western edge of the cliff leading down. Think that maybe on the next round he could climb down or jump down or something like that. So Thun will now move after Metra. And Baron will act then.

Oh! Let's see what you got! Baron reaches his hand down to the holster he has rarely used throughout the campaign, the one that holds Dragon's Breath, the plus one Dragon's Vein weapon. And his hand twitches. But it pulls away because he knows it's a scattergun. It has a very limited range. But he eyes the dragon in his eyes.

And he applies just plain old regular Bane dragon on his regular weapon. Thereby imbuing Lawbringer with the authority it needs to take down these unauthorized flying objects. It stares right at you. Jimmer, you are a... Oh, wait, you're shooting. Oh, I'm sorry. Rapid fire.

And you can do that after taking a move action to draw, yes? I didn't take a move action. Didn't you draw the weapon? I have quick draw. Okay. Oh, you flavor drawing. I flavor touch like the tip of the dragon's breath. Just the tip.

And I have quick draw. Right. So. And pull it out. Okay. Here it comes. See what the old touch aid says. Sadly.

Don't. Don't. Don't. Exactly in range. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Exactly in range. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't what?

Don't misfire. Don't misfire. Silent. That's for sure. Okay. First attack is a 24. That is a hit. Okay.

And you're within touch AC range. Yep. 40 feet away. Exactly. Oh, man. The clutchest of clutch. You are 40 feet away. I'm so nervous right now. I'm so nervous. feet away. I'm so nervous right now.

I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous, too. Okay. Those are rocks. Yes. 30 points of damage on the first attack. Okay. 30 points of damage on the first.

Here it comes again. Critical threat. Oh! Wow! Oh, my God! 19 on the die. That feat I took for improved critical on that weapon. Yes!

Yes! Is paying dividends. Yes! I rolled the obvious confirm. 16 on the die to confirm. Yes! Oh my god! He did it!

Confirmed crit. He did it! On a dragon! On a dragon! On a dragon, dude! Times four on a fucking dragon! Oh, God. This is amazing.

All right. This one from... Ooh! International dish. Ooh, international. This one from Kim in Oslo, Norway. Hi, Kim. Hi, Kimmy.

Can you feel it? You feel incredible. This, Kimmy. Can you feel it? You feel incredible. This is your day. Always. As you're aiming, your favorite jam starts playing in the back of your mind. It might be Galarian Rhapsody, Rock Me, I Am a Deus, Looking for a Lichten by David Yanderhoff, or unreleased single Fallen by Gormley Keys.

Whatever it is, you know you're about to kick some ass! If the target has eyes, it does, it must make a will save to see if it can handle the fire in your eyes. On a successful save, you deal double damage. On a failure,

you deal triple damage. So it's either four times or five times damage. If it failure, you deal triple damage. Oh! So it's either four times or five times damage. Wow! If it fails, the will say. Wow! So what's the Natty 16? Natty 16, 32. It's a JC 32 will say. Whoa, shit!

Oh my god! So it looks at you and knows you're about to kill it. Failed. Yeah! Are you kidding me? Oh, my God. Holy shit. Five times damage. Wow.

Amazing. Wow. Oh, my God. That is so many D8s. This is a lot of high numbers on small. Okay. I think it's time for the FDA, or the FAA, to bring the 737 Max 8 down. Because it has lost its license to fly with 118 points of damage. Oh my god!

You killed the dragon. Yeah! That is so phenomenal. One shot. This character is unbelievable. Do you have any shots left? I do, but I'm just looking

to see how far away I am from the next dragon. Unbelievable. far away i am from the next dragon unbelievable how far i am from the next dragon i'm gonna kill this way that's me oh sorry amazing so 80 feet away yeah uh let's go ahead and use a grit point to use a bit of Deadeye, which will allow me... I'll still take the negative 2 to attack. It'll allow me to attack outside of my

first range increment against Touch AC. This is within the second range increment, right at 80. If it were 85, I'd have to spend another grit point. Wow. Here it comes. That is minus 2 is a 20 to spend another grit point. Wow. Here it comes. That is minus 2 is a 20 to hit. That is a hit.

Yes. Oh my god. That touch AC, I mean, forget it. Yeah, it's bonkers. 30 points of damage. Nice. Good. Oh my god. Good. Let me take off the grit. The final attack which will

Well do I want to spend the extra grit You have four attacks now Well with rapid shot on it This is plus four How can I ever get rapid shot Plus four Spending another grip point Sixteen against touch

That's a hit Your true hit was plus four on the attack. Oh, minus two. I'm sorry. So that should be plus four minus two. That would be two. Yeah, yeah. Two.

Plus two, two. 14 against touch. That's it. All right. Three, nine, 12. 29 points of damage. Wow. Almost 60 points of damage

Wow This is why I was saying Just keep going We're fine Yeah yeah Look at this Holy shit No that crit is ridiculous

It is Jimmer's turn Alright Jimmer hasn't even caught yet Yeah Jimmer is going to Stand right where he is And he's going to Yank The drinking horn of bottomless valor off of his belt and drink deep.

Nice. Schwan, schwan, schwan, schwan, schwan, schwan. Yeah! And grow to super size, get heroism, et cetera. Wow. And I'll be ready to go next round. So he grows and also gets a bunch of other buffs. All right, well, the fire giants are going to double move.

Oh, no. To kind of get into the action here as best they can. Because now they know shit's going on. Obviously, they don't see Dalgrith, but they see this guy just light up and murder a dragon in six seconds. They're so glad they're stationed up here, because that's where it's safer. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, how ironic. The fools. At that moment, from the opening, Oh, no. Mama? With the two fire giants for a standing watch.

You hear the flapping of wings. Oh, come on. You have to be kidding me. And multiple screams from multiple dragons. Oh, my God. Flying in to join the fight and protect their brothers and sisters.

Oh, my God. And we'll see you next week. No! No! Oh, fuck! It's a dragon fight! fight and protect their brothers and sisters. Oh my god. And we'll see you next week. Oh no! Oh fuck! It's a dragon fight! Five or more dragons? Jesus Christ! How about we start with fighting one dragon?

Oh my god. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015. Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo. All Pathfinder images are property of Paizo and are used with permission.