The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 238 - Nest Side Story

Episode Date: December 17, 2019

The heroes face impossible odds as they find themselves caught in a nest full of dragons! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. It's a, it's a dragon fight. It's, it's a dragon fight. We got a dragon fight. It's a dragon fight. I have a strategy. I'm sure you do. Kill them all.

Uh, boy. Oh boy. The heroes scramble to dodge the flames. Metro, whatever you can do to get us out of here, do it soon. And he's going to lay covering fire and say, I'll lay down covering fire for you until you can figure out something. But the dragons control the skies. Oh, man. Absolute rocks.

Surprise, surprise. So shocked. So shocked. Will they make it out of the rookery alive? All right. Let's do this shit. He's got new gear. He's ready to go.

He's got his frost axe. They're vulnerable. The adventure continues. Still alive. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, man. No. Hello, you big, beautiful world, and welcome back to another episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast.

It's your boy, Grant Berger, a.k.a. Sheriff Baron Ashpeak. It's the holiday season, and I am personally gearing up for Christmas, but as this year comes to a close, I want to wish you and yours all the best, no matter what you celebrate, and I hope that your 2020 is even better than your 2019. I love December because I get to head home to Dallas to spend time with my family. And for the last three years, it's also meant Grantmas. That's right, Grantmas. Thanks to the amazing Amanda Wenzel, aka VerduKai, we're doing a Dallas-Fort Worth

GCP meetup on December 22nd from 2 to 6 p.m. If you're in the area, come on down to Common Ground Games on 1328 Inwood Road in Dallas, Texas. Bring your favorite board game or borrow one from the store and see if you can beat me at Battleship, Tiddlywinks, or even partake in a session of the mind, which is like my favorite game ever. There will be food, but it's BYOB, so load up the truck with moonshine and head on over. You can RSVP at grantmiss.rsvpify.com i'll see y'all in dallas

additionally we have some hot new merch in the store to warm up the frosty winter wonderlands this includes four sizzling new glass cannon d20s available in orange pink gold and teal they all look amazing and they're made out of this beautiful heavy metal so every time you roll a die it's gonna be gorgeous. But hey, if rolling rocks isn't for you, why don't you pick up a Glass Cannon Network hoodie and a winter beanie? I have both of these and they're as warm as a cup of cocoa and as soft as this year's NFC East. But if you drive a hard bargain, you're gonna want to check out our brand spanking new Tom Exposition Koozies.

They pair beautifully with the craft beer of your choice. Lastly, if you live in or around DC, Boston, New York City, or Milwaukee, why don't you come out and see us at one of our upcoming Glass Cannon live shows? Let me tell you, they've been so much fun to put on for y'all, and we love seeing

you in person. It's really an electric atmosphere, and having everyone in the same room makes a huge difference. Special thanks to the nation, Chicago. We've already sold out our April show there. So get your tickets before your show sells out. Go to glasscannonpodcast.com slash events for tickets. Thank you so much for listening. And again, please, please have a safe, happy, and festive end of your year with joy, wonder, and even a little love.

Please enjoy episode 238. Only a few more shopping days left till Christmas, fellas. You stressed out yet, Matthew? Do you even buy gifts for the people who don't even care about you? Oh, man. Wow. She does not buy gifts for us. That's true.

You just buy a bunch of beard combs for yourself. I actually do need a new beard he goes through them like crazy it's like break to pieces after a while shatter i'm gonna get you a little beard comb and a little just for men uh no i accept my male pattern baldness has you done your shopping no no just for men's about color matthew it's not about the amount of hair you have on your head it's the gray i'm not doing that either okay it can it can add a nice shade to it i mean i'll see i'll either i'll do what my dad did which was shave the beard until it was gray enough that he could tolerate it that's a good plan i keep on seeing ads on the

subway for like no shave uh or I did earlier, no shave November. And like, you can save lives. And it's all these guys that can feasibly grow a mustache or some semblance of facial hair. And when I just let it grow out, it looks like I have some sort of birth defect. It does not look good. And I don't like shaving. So it's a problem. I asked my boss at my other job the other day.

I was like, so if I come into work Like that What does it look like He's like It looks like you're happy With your position So I started shaving A little more often

I like that Grant and I once had A rather surprisingly Lengthy discussion About my The beard on my upper lip Also known as my mustache Oh is it about

Where you can grow Hair in the middle where the angel touched you before Jesus sent you to Earth? I didn't know that was what it was called, but yes, that was what the discussion was about. That's where the angel touched you. And it kept going. I thought that was the end of the discussion. Greg kept talking about it. I can't grow hair there. It's like the mustache version

of the unibrow. You have it right in the middle. I don't actually. People don't have it there, right? I don't actually have it there. Yeah, he's got like the inverse of a unibrow. You can grow it on the brow parts, but no. Oh, you don't have it right in the middle. I don't actually. People don't have it there, right? I don't actually have it. Yeah, he's got like the inverse of a unibrow. You can grow it on the brow parts, but no. Oh, you don't have it in there? Oh, that's normal. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, okay. It makes your mustache plural. Troy's pretty full there. Yeah, you've got a nice full. What's that part called? He's got a little gap from the nose, but the bottom part right by his lip is filled in. This is great for an audio.

I only shave every fifth day, and even then, I just trim it. Yeah, you use an electric razor. It's called a philtrum. A philtrum? The cleft in your upper lip. Oh. Well, I know what you're getting for Christmas next year, a little philtrum cream. Just rub it on to encourage hair growth. I think it's actually a tonic. Soothe your philtrum cream. Just rub it on to your hair growth.

I think it's actually a tonic. Soothe your philtrum. Soothe your philtrum with Steve's Philtrum Cream. You know, it's good if it's got Steve on the label. My mom always said that it was where, when you were born, that's where an angel touched you to get you to shut the fuck up.

That's a little bit different than what I said. But you have a fairly bearded philtrum. I do. I have a full philtrum. Full. You're going full philtrum. Philtrum. Philtrum.

Back to Christmas gifts. I'm stressed out, as I'm sure all of you are. But are any of you early shoppers? You get them done early and that's it? Or is no one actually like that? Amazon. I have them all shipped to Dallas before I get there. And then there's enough of them that go missing every year.

But it turns out that my mom's boyfriend just didn't bring them in. Or they're like in a room under here. And I'm like, I spend like 10 minutes like in exasperated chats with Amazon. And then I'm like, oh, wait. Found him. Sorry. I'm sure they don't get thousands of those calls during the season wonderful christmas that's why their first question is always like did you look in the

room where you always put the things you get in the mail and people why would you ask me that that's because one out of ten people's like oh shit there it is yeah i'm off my home turf now it's no longer my home it's someone else. So I don't know where they put stuff. No, I don't shop early. I'm incapable of it. Every time I sit down, I have a few ideas. And then I'm like, this can wait. And I just put it off. You have children now.

It's so bad. It's so bad. When I was, I mean, my wife will get some stuff online ahead of time. I mean, she bought stuff on Black Friday. You know what I mean? She was ahead of time i mean she'll she bought stuff on black friday you know what i mean like she was ahead of it but i will like i'll just end up walking around a mall like i'm lost on christmas eve like that 11 30 in the morning just everything is picked over and it's awful soviet russia mall oh yeah and it's just filled yeah and it's filled with people that look like they're straight out

of soviet russia they're all haggard and miserable and like why am i here uh it's it's filled with people that look like they're straight out of Soviet Russia. They're all haggard and miserable and like, why am I here? It's pretty bad. But I've done it for years. I go out literally in person on Christmas Eve to go shopping. The economy thanks you. One of the gifts I've actually already purchased for Angel, my wife. And this is a test of the niche. Boy.

In honor of us talking about it's a wonderful life no it's not a call to action it's called inaction joseph that's definitely don't buy your wife presents i'm going to unveil what i bought her and there's enough people out there that can find her on twitter or anything else if the nation can resist spoiling it from her i'll be very proud of you my heart will go three times i got a pair this is just one of the gifts but jabra elite 65t wireless bluetooth headphones oh you've been talking about those you have that's my that's my brain i love them and angel loves listening to things on the train she has an hour and a half commute to work every day way up in columbia and uh not the country the university to be clear and uh that would be down in columbia down in columbia depending on where you're listening from exactly uh so if the niche can avoid spoiling my wife's present i will appreciate

them greatly what's it worth what is it worth the spirit of christmas we just finished this tweet i roll all right good to go my problem is that i will plan i I like throughout the year, if I see something that I'm like, oh, that'll be a good gift for so-and-so, I like put it in a draft email. It sits in my draft folder. And then I get to, you know, November, December, and I'm like, oh, these are terrible ideas. And then I just fret about it. Such a guy for stumbling around drunk all the time. That was good.

Do any of you have a reputation within your family or friends for being a good gift giver? I do. You do? Yeah. And do you get them early? No. What's your strategy? I just, I'm incredibly thoughtful.

Teach me. You couldn't even keep a straight face. Just really, incredibly thoughtful. Teach me. He couldn't even keep a straight face. He's really, really thoughtful. No, I listen all year long whenever somebody mentions something. Whenever I'm hanging out with someone that I would buy presents for, they might mention something, even offhand, like, you know, I don't know what it is. And I just go right to my phone and write it down.

You know what it is? I figured it out. What? You always are thinking about Christmas And want it to be Christmas Oh yeah Absolutely That's what it is That's what it is

That might be what it is You don't really care About the other person It's just an opportunity To participate in Christmas I do love it It could be March And somebody's like

Oh man I really need A pair of socks Or something like that And I'll just be like Oh yeah cool Write down socks like that And so at the end of the year I've got all these

That's what I do But I just don't like Any of my ideas but they really needed the don't you think they probably got the socks socks are a bad idea i'm a bad bad example um i really need water i'm so thirsty let me write this down in nine months i'll get a glass of water pulling spring i i did the one idea i picked out a gift that i turned i saw it and i turned my wife i said this is a perfect gift for your mom unfortunately she listens to the podcast so i can't say what it is and i'm also regretting this now because she's gonna say well what's my perfect gift yeah and now when she sees it she's like oh it's great i wouldn't call it perfect

so you sure that's all the gifts? Is there a surprise one? Anybody need to call Amazon? Well, you've only got a little over a week left, so you better get it done. I know I won't until the last minute. But, yeah, I guess we've got to play a little Pathfinder here. Business has picked up in Ashby. It's a dragon fight. It's a dragon fight. We've got a dragon fight.

Skid and I were talking about this as we went off air last week. Just how iconic it is to get to fight a dragon. I don't remember fighting very many when I was a kid because I never leveled up high enough to even fight the most basic of dragon. You've gone through this. And they tease you with drakes early on, drakes on the river Esk. And then you finally had that epic battle that you didn't win at the top of Minderhall's Cathedral. And then that dragon came back to light the forge and you were able to vanquish it. Now you're fighting multiple dragons. It's i don't know i it's it's called it was called dungeons and dragons for a reason i think if they'd called it anything else then

that would have been the monster that you were like really fired up to fight dungeons and bug a level three adventure uh i was talking to skit about it on the way home from that recording and we i think we did some degree of justice to it on the show but when dalgris evasion kicked in oh yeah on that many breath attack breath attacks i could just see it on a cinema screen yep thank you atlanta and just dancing around like flames gouging past part of your hair being burned off. You roll behind a rock. Just how amazing that sequence would be. So cool.

It was so cool. It was never, I mean, it doesn't get, I don't think it gets better than that as a rogue. That is the best. That's your best thing. Like three dragon breaths. Dodge, dodge, dodge. That's your signature moment. Yeah. That's what all these like feats and abilities kind of aim up to is is that

moment where you get to like use your evasion against three dragons you know and then you have to use them against six dragons yeah as it turns out yeah yeah we uh finally enough as last week came to a close you could hear the flapping of wings um in the distance baron as you're standing there um you're the muzzle on your gun still smoking from killing that dragon you hear off in the distance the sounds of these dragons plural flying through the opening that leads out to the area surrounding ash Peak, and you see the dragon fall and the life leave its eyes. And as it does so, the dragons outside and the remaining ones in here

all wail out together in a keening wail of anguish just and say something in draconic does anybody speak draconic i do not i don't i swear to god if you set me up to shoot the jfk of dragons you know i'm from dallas that is the most twisted bit of oh Oh, you're perverse. What is the JFK of dragons? Who did I just kill? He was probably a political leader. Yeah. He's a good guy.

A Catholic like me. They all wail out at the same time as that dragon falls and dies. Pain. Two more dragons come flying through. Oh, thank God. It's only two. Only two dragons.

Only two dragons. They really covered some ground there, didn't they? Wow. They sure did. Wow. They sure did. It's funny how you get to ignore speed rules at the GM. These dragons can move.

They can move pretty far. I don't want to tell you how far they can move, but it is... How far outside of the cave did they start their action? Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it! For those at home, the two new dragons have flown past the current dragons to be about 15 feet away from us. They just flew like 270 feet this round. I'm sorry, 20 feet.

You know what I got for Troy this Christmas is a sense of proportional direction. He's going to lock in. I measured this out. I'm going to move them back a tiny bit, but I did measure this out. I used the ruler action. They are fast.

When they're flying, they're pretty fast. They can move multiple hundreds of feet. Because they're made of're pretty yeah you know they can move uh you know multiple hundreds of feet i will say made of metal and robots are strong what is going on is dalgryth uh visible is do you have anything what kind of buffs are we looking at right now between all the characters baron you're flying right flying we have energy resistance still for fire right no is that that went that went off. That would be too convenient. Yeah, we stealthed for so long, we decided that the energy resistance, the 30 minutes or whatever it was,

had gone away. Yeah, okay. Well, these two come in, and they both unleash breath weapons on Baron, Jimmer, and Metra. Oh, dear. No, no, no. So, Lohart, with the first one,

please roll me a reflex save. in Metra. Oh, dear. No, no, no. So let's start with the first one. Please roll me a reflex save. Grant looks happy. It's not happy. I'm worried. It's 19. 19, eh? What about you, Skid? Ooh, uh, 25. 25?

Nice work, Jim. That's huge for you. Yeah. What about you, Metra? 17. I'm sorry. 17. 17. Metra failed.

Oh, no. I was going to re-roll it. Dude, do either of you have a Vasion or you just take half damage? Wait, let me just check on something. Oh, no, I can re-roll it. You can? Yeah, I can use my tattoo. I can do it after you fail. It says on a failed reflex save. Okay. Oh, no, I can re-roll it. You can? Yeah, I can use my tattoo. I can do it after you fail.

It says on a failed reflex save. Okay. Oh, nice. Marginally better. That sounds like that's all you need. 23. That's a pass. Yeah!

All right, so all of you will get half. Illustrated lady. Half damage on this one. Oh, dear. And this is D10s you're rolling six of them oh it's gonna be really okay or really horrible 20 points of damage 15 is your average of course he gets 20 yeah that's the fourth half that's half yeah uh and then now roll a reflex save on the second breath attack and And where's your little tattoo now? I think I can use it again. It's not an action.

It's once per day, isn't it? Three times per day. Oh, three times a day. Let's take it around Metro this time. 22. 22 for Metro. That is a pass. Skid.

Don't you get a plus four to your save on the reroll? Oh, yeah. So I definitely pass on the last one. Yeah, you definitely pass. 17 for me. Skid, that is a fail for Jimmer, and what about Baron? Baron rolled a solid 29. Solid 29.

Yeah, I knew that that, uh, would you roll 18? That had to be such a low roll for you. Yeah. Oh man, absolute rocks. Surprise, surprise. So shocked. So shocked.

45 points of damage to Jimmer. Jesus. And 22 to the other two fellas. 45 out of a possible 60. Jesus Christ. I would roll a six. Yeah. My last three D10s was 8, 8, 10.

Oh, come on with this. And then the other one was 9-9 and whatever the difference was. Rocks. Rocks. Rocks-a-roni. Here's the good news. For me, it's the other dragon's turn now. Oh, my God.

I'm going to roll a D4 to see when this breath weapon recharges. Oh, right. In front of us, too, which is awesome. Yeah. No. This one recharges this round.

This one will breath weapon right on Dalgrith because Dalgrith is within range, I believe.

Let me just make sure. Come on, Dalgrith. Make him waste it. Yep. Dalgrith is within range. Dalgrith, please. Roll me a reflex. Say, hey, all Let me just make sure. Come on, Dalgrith. Make him waste it. Yep, Dalgrith is within range. Dalgrith, please. Roll me a reflex. Say, hey, all you gotta do is pass. I won't even roll the damage.

Okay. I'm going back to Atlanta. I'm pressing my luck. Natural one. You're telling me you wouldn't roll the damage anyway just to see what you could have done? Come on, baby. All right. We got this, Dalgrith.

We got this, buddy. Come on, buddy. Out of the We got this, Dogwrith. We got this, buddy. Come on, buddy. Out of the tree. There we go. Good. Good to go. Over 30. Over 30.

Wow. You take no damage. Nice. Dogwrith rolling around. However, then... I'm supposed to be invisible. It flies and lands right next to you. Perfect. The other one... Catch a ride. The fool. The fool. It flies and lands right next to you. Oh, perfect.

The other one. Catch a ride. The fool. The other one is going to, let's see if it can do its breath weapon. Another one on a D4. Yeah. Cha-ching. That one is going to, let's see here.

That one will swoop over to, let's see here That one will swoop over To Let's see That one's going to swoop over to the other party And I'll have the three of you roll another reflex save Jesus Toon is the only one in good shape over there Baron 30

There you go Bear Bear Jimbo Jimbo got a natural 20 Oh Reflex And what about 24 All half damage

There's a 10 16 points of damage to all of you. So, there are four dragons. There are two fire giants. And it's a pretty big fight here. It is Dalgrit's turn. You have a dragon right next to you. All right.

No hesitation. Now that he knows he's been spotted and is not going to get away with it, he's going to jump on the dragon. Oh, man. So he's just like, steals himself, looks for a good scale to grab onto, and then leaps onto the creature. Wow. Here it comes against CMD Natural 20.

That's a good start. And you're up there. That's a good start. Creeple. Creeple. Creeple. Creeple. Creeple. Oh shit. Okay. There he is. He's up there. Uh, and I, you know,

I just, I guess that's an action. I don't know. Maybe it's not. I don't get it. It's only, it's, it's as if you haven't played this character for 30 episodes.

It just doesn't say, I try to make it fair, but it just says, you know, you, you can climb as a climb check. So is that move? I think it's counted as part of a move action for your archetype. Okay.

Well, then I'm going to attack it then. Okay. Nice. And actually what I will also do is as part of that move, I'm going to trigger a Phantom of me That is also there Which will distract the creature enough To give me a sneak attack A little sneak attackage Damage-ione Oh and uh

Actually While you're at it yeah No that's it that's it I just I'm sorry I was like why am I hasted And it was because i had previously used taste to run to where i am but that's a per round thing uh as i use my boots i don't need to use it this round so i'm just gonna go ahead and uh swing all right let's see what you got this one has taken damage uh come on come on come on come on come on uh 29 oh that's a hit Yes, baby, alright So you're gonna get that sneak attack

Damage There we go Oh god, four ones That's so painful Oh, five, oh my god No, one, two, three, four, five ones On 10d6 That is ridiculous

That is so sad Let's get him out to Mohegan Sun So that is 24 points of damage Wait I'm sorry 28 28 points of damage Not bad I'm sorry I'm just assuming that it is evil

Yeah Red dragon All red dragons are evil Yes this is an evil dragon And you know what? I rolled a knowledge check on it, didn't I? I can't remember if you did. I think I did.

Knowledge Arcana? Yeah, Knowledge Arcana. But, you know, Dogwrith knows about this stuff, so if I didn't, I'm just going to roll it again. Okay. Just for shits and gigs, see if I can glean anything out of the ordinary or whatever. That's a 24 knowledge arcana. 24 knowledge arcana. Yeah, I can give you a little tidbit.

Little tidbit. What in particular are you interested in? I guess, jeez, I don't have anything in particular. Just want to see if I've seen anything like this before. Oh yeah, sure.

That's a young red dragon. Yeah. So they just do fire damage, right, with their breath weapon? Yeah, fire damage with the breath weapon. I will give you a piece. I guess resistances? I don't know. Yeah, no resistances.

I will tell you that they are vulnerable to cold. Oh, okay. And we knew they could see invisibility already. Yeah. Metrolia, vulnerability to cold! You rolled 24 The other thing I can tell you is they have blind sense That's how they saw you Oh, okay

Oh, blind sense, so they didn't have blind sight Or see invisibility But they have an area of an effects weapon Right, so it doesn't really matter They sensed you and blew fire. Alright, good round for Dalgrif. I know you weren't happy with the damage but not bad to jump on a

dragon's back. Yeah, not too shabberoo. It is Metra's turn. Okay, Metra is going to first on the dragon to the left. Uh-huh. Will you please roll a will save? A will save, you say.

All right. I wish I could just roll up a dragon to play there. Pretty good saves across the board. 19. Fail. Yes. Fail. That is now under the effect of hold monster.

Oh. That is huge, dude. Wow. Now, just give hold monster. Oh! That is huge, dude! Wow. Now, just give hold monster a full read. Make sure it's okay with the HD of the creature and whatnot. Let's see here. This spell functions like hold person, except that it affects any living creature that fails its will save.

That is the entire text of the spell. There she is. Let's look at hold person. What? No, I think we've done this before. Hold monster is designed as a high-level spell, right? Yeah. Let's look at Hold Person. What? No, I think we've done this before. Hold Monster is designed. It's a high-level spell, right, that holds high-level monsters if they fail. Yeah.

Yeah. Pretty sure. Was he flying at the time or did he land? Uh, he was flying. Well, he falls. He falls? Yes. A winged creature who is paralyzed cannot flap its wings and falls. Well, here's the thing, Matthew, my dear boy.

If you had done your Christmas shopping on time, you'd know that this young red dragon is immune to paralysis. Are you kidding? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Question for you. Yes. So I didn't do my Christmas shopping on time, but however, we did crush, what, two separate knowledge checks? Could I reverse my knowledge? Did we not know this information?

Unfortunately, no. That was information that was not revealed to you. So instead you told us information that we already had instead of actually useful information. You should have asked, do they have any particular immunities like to paralysis? And then there's a good chance I might have told you. You're absolutely right. What I should have done was just give away my entire

strategy before they acted. Well, don't. On the bright side, we did find out that these fire-breathing red dragons are vulnerable to cold. Right. Wow. You would never have known that. Useful information. If we had not rushed that, we would never have known.

I'm so sorry. It amazes me how stingy GMs want to be with useful information. It's just like the book Useful. Like, to your specific characters at this specific time, what is useful? Not like trivia. Not like dragon trivia. I think they don't. Do you know their gestation period is 18 months?

You know what I just realized? I don't know if they specify who it's supposed to be useful to. I think they just say useful. That was very useful to me. I interpreted it. I think Troy treats his monsters like he treated his G.I. Joes as a child. This is still some Freudian psychology bullshit working its way out, because he doesn't know how to share. Well, my dragon's going to live forever because of it.

Yeah, all right. Fine. What do you want to do now with the rest of your crappy tune? I'm going to use my quick and meta magic rod to cast Haste on me, Jimmer, and Baron. Thank you. There are worse things. And then I'm going to use that Hasted movement to GTFO.

That's smart. Scatter us so we're not one sitting duck target for all these fire-breathing giants. Spread yourselves out! That's a good idea. Okay, it's Thune's turn. Thune right now is up to the north here, still on the upper level. He has the high ground with the rest of you. I'm going's Thune's turn. Thune right now is up to the north here. Still on the upper level.

He has the high ground with the rest of you. I'm going to have him just hold. It really doesn't make sense for him to go charging down in there and be solo with four dragons and two fire giants. So Thune's going to hold his action for now. By the way, have we been mentioned

on this episode that there's also two fire giants in here? I don't think it's come up. We're just not even mentioning it because we're like, that is the least of our concerns right now. We'll deal with them later. It is Baron's turn. Baron steps out of the conflagration of flames that he was subjected to by the breath weapon of these vile and evil dragons. of these vile and evil dragons. And as he shakes the dust off from his duster,

you see a tiny bit of the fire energy from the dragon's breath weapon get absorbed into the barrel of his gun. Lawbringer is made from fire-forged steel. Oh, nice. And now he gets to add 1d4 bonus fire damage, which will probably be useless against these dragons. Really? But it's cool.

It's cool. I think it's cool. Baron's going to say, Metro, whatever you can do to get us out of here, do it soon. And he's going to lay covering fire and say, I'll lay down covering fire for you until you can figure out something. And he's going to shoot at the dragon. I have a strategy. I'm sure you do.

Kill them all. Boy. Oh, boy. Which one are you shooting at? The one that was thought was paralyzed. Yes, the one that I thought was paralyzed, which originally I was like, yes, I can shoot other dragons for a while, but now we have to fight all four at once. Okay.

Oh, and as a swift action, he's going to pull down a Judgment of Torag, the only Judgment of Torag, before I can only apply one at a time. Right. Of energy resistance six fire. That's pretty smart. Huge. Yep. Here comes the full attack. Five attacks. Oh, my God.

21 to hit. That's a hit. Yeah. Just wait for that misfire, folks. I know. It's going to happen, too. That's the worst part about it. Here it comes.

You just have to survive each round until it gets to Baron's turn, unless he misfires. That's the thing. It's like we just get to his turn, and he'll to Baron's turn, unless he misfires. That's the thing. It's like we just get to his turn, and he'll kill them, because he won't misfire. 32. No chance. 32 damage, you mean? Yes. And then 1d4 fire, does that matter?

Does not. Okay, I will not roll that. Second attack. 17 on the die! Yeah! I'm going to sit back now. I know. 27 points of damage.

Okay. Third attack. How many 13th level characters can boast a dragon around? That's their average. Look in the tray, Troy. Look in the tray. Oh, my God. Critical threat.

Critical threat. Critical threat. Critical threat. That is a 16 on the die for the confirmation roll. Yeah. That is a confirmed crit. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

That would be two crits against two separate red dragons. Amazing. All right. This one from Gideon in Providence, Rhode Island. Providence. Oh, this is good. You guys like this one. Apollonia Yes

Oh Oh no it's fire based It won't hurt them Your projectile hits the target With such force It literally explodes An internal organ Showering blood on the scene

Double damage Good And the scene is so shocking Their nearest ally is shaken For 1d4 round oh that's what we'll say wow yeah okay okay quadroop dan zoni then we have to look at the closest drag that would be this guy right here uh who's uh he was one of the other ones that came flying in here in the late rounds. He's about to go to shaketown, man. Quad damage.

He's the Jackie O in this equation. Give me that sweet quad damage. Give me that sweet quad damage. Just need about 45 minutes to do the math. Not the best, but I already quadrupled my modifier. Not going to quadruple the Bane damage. But I am going to...

Four different DMs. 96 points of damage. He explodes. Oh, my God! He's dead. His heart explodes. Like, you would burst his heart. You know what?

I got to kick this one back to Gideon. Thank you so much, Gideon. Because it's so clutch for Baron to draw a crit That hurts someone else With like an effect Because he's probably going to kill them outright on the crit So like to pull a crit that hurts his ally Is huge

Well done Nice work So that leaves me with haste With two more Less than full attack bonus, but two more attacks. You could roll another natural 20. It's true. Oh, daddy likes.

You know what? We'll attack the one that is not disadvantaged. I think that makes most tactical sense because if we want to leave one alive, it should be the weaker one. How many rounds was it shaken? 1d4. You want to roll it? Sure. Yeah, Troy's only been rolling ones on his 1dD4. You want to roll it? Sure. Troy's only been rolling ones on his 1D4.

I'm happy to roll it for you. Three rounds. Yeah! Three rounds. Three rounds shaken. Alright. This GCP Norse Foundry die is just rolling rocks. Don't let me down now, buddy.

17 for a 27. Oh my god. That shit is just weighted. Wow. That is a weighted die. Oh my gosh. Okay, that is a hit. Alright. 31 points of damage. Okay, one more attack. Final one. And then leave the table.

Critical threat. 19 on the die. Oh my god. 19 on the die. Oh my god. 19 on the die. Critical threat 19 on the die Oh my god 19 on the die Oh my god My critical threat 19 on the die Critical Critical

Critical Critical You're gonna kill the other one too Alright this is close This is on the cusp 15 against Touch AC That's a confirmed Yes

Dude this is just ridiculous I mean it's ridiculous I said you were one dragon around You're 1.5 dragons around average. All right, here we go. My war is incredible over other dwarves. Let's get in a little international edition. International.

Scott from Winnipeg, Manitoba County. Oh, hello, Scott. Poser, I knight thee, Sir Joe. Oh, no. What a dubious honor. I hope it's not you getting knight knight thee Sir Joe Oh Oh no What a dubious honor I hope it's not you Getting knighted Sir Joe Your projectile

Pierces the target's skull And gets lodged In their brain Double damage And the next time The target attacks It's an automatic Confirmed fumble

Oh Fortitude save Fortitude save Negates the fumble Oh wow I'm hoping we don't get there Is it his confirm 15 I have to beat It's his confirm you have to beat

So he'll beat that I beat it yeah I'm hoping it doesn't come to that Here we come Here it comes Thank you Scott that's a fun one Okay It's about the same as last time

Oh no Just a garbage 96 Garbage Points of damage It's an 89 Oh no God Still alive

Oh no Oh no Oh man Do you have anything left to do, Baron? Let's see. I laid down the swift action. I did the full attack action. I'll take a five-foot step.

Why not? If you do, Troy, I'm talking to you, Troy. If you do anything other than take every dragon and attempt to fly Baron out of here and into the volcano, you are a fool. You're an utter and complete fool. You're just not playing strategically. You're right. I really didn't think this through. So the five foot step I did take, though,

because I am thinking things through, is towards Dalgrith. A little five foot step towards Dalgrith. He'll be there in an hour and a half. Come on, Dalgrith! It is now Jimmer's turn. All right. So Jimmer. First turn of the day.

Can you enlarge my icon? Oh, yeah. That's right, because you took a little drink from the horn. I drank deep from the horn. You're a triple H. Heroism, haste, and huge help. Yes, exactly. That's quadruple H.

Wow, it's just about to say that exact thing. So Jimmer, hasted... Attage. I was afraid it'd be a little too cliche, but I'm glad I could help. So Jimmer, hasted and huge, runs along the edge of the crater

here. And gets within his reach range of the dragon that has not been shaken, that Baron just blew to heck. And he's going to try to finish the job with his remaining, one remaining power attack. That is a critical threat. Oh, my God.

Save it. He's dead. Okay. He is confirmed. He was hanging on for dear life. Good lord. Nice work, Gemma! So many crits.

There's only two dragons left. I think he chops off his head with Terminus Sest. Like, he just runs up. He's reeling. I can see the head, like, twirling 360 degrees several times in the air and just, like, blood going blood going from like where it got disconnected from the neck. Yeah, and the wound in his skull where you shot him is just like flying out.

Oh god, and these fire giants how are they not going to flee? They need to make like... Just killing dragons like it's nothing. I feel like we should get a free intimidate check. Yeah, for free. Yeah, totally. Free intimidate. A free free intimidate. A free free intimidate.

A free free intimidate. Okay. These guys were smoking cigarettes a while ago being like, we got the easiest duty in the whole yard. We don't have to do any real work. And now they know for sure they are going to die tonight. All right. It is the fire giant's turn.

So the one that's closest to Thun is actually going to double move and get up on the ridge where Thun is. Oh, no. He's between us and Thun. Yeah. He's not able to take an attack. But you can see his sights are set on Thun. Remember, Thun delayed. Yeah.

So Thun might want to go after this because otherwise he's going to be waiting around to get smacked. The other guy, he's a little bit farther away. Boy, here. He is going to, you know what? Yeah, he's going to double move as well to get just closer to kind of where Dalgrith is. But he doesn't have enough movement speed to, actually, no. He does have enough movement speed to get up there. Because he can move 60 feet.

Yeah, all right, so he will... He scrambles up the ridge. So now they're both on the ridge, but they can't attack. Thun will now act. All right, let's do this shit. He's got new gear? He's ready to go. He's got his frost axe.

They're vulnerable. Thun's just like... With the frost-wounding battle axe, takes a swing at the giant natural 20. Yeah! Pringle, pringle, pringle, pringle, pringle, pringle, pringle, pringle. Yes, Thune! The cojones on this Thune. Now, I'm wondering here if that is, for Thune to get up there,

would that provoke? My footstep in there. No, no, he had to move ten feet. Ten. Uh, yeah, yeah, it would provoke. Alright, so I'm gonna hold on to Thune's twenty and see if the giant hurts Thune. Well, he could do an acrobatics check to avoid that attack of opportunity.

Oh, yeah, let's do that. He is a rogue. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's smart. I never play rogue, so alright, let's try that. It's gonna be hard. Their CMD is pretty opportunity. Oh, yeah, let's do that. He is a rogue. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's smart. I never play rogue, so... All right, let's try that. It's going to be hard. Their CMD is high. Oh, yeah. But it's just against... It's straight up against CMD, right?

Straight up CMD. Does Thune get it? Will it blend? Thune does not. Oh. Oh, no. All right, so the giant is going to take a swing at Thune before he confirms his crit.

Oh, that... All right, so the giant is going to take a swing at Thun before he confirms his crit. Ooh, Thun's got a new AC, but it's still going to hit with the Thun. Oh, damn it, Thun. So yeah, Thun is actually going to be in really bad shape. I roll 3d6. I roll 664. Oh, my God. They hit like Tesla Cybertrucks. 31 points of damage to Thun, and Thun is now down to 22 hit points. Oh my god.

Why is he so low? It's like level 7 or something. Yeah, and he got hurt by a... Oh, it doesn't matter. We would have put him up with a wand or something. We just didn't track him. He probably didn't tell us. Yeah, why would he? He wouldn't remember that.

Jesus. Maybe he has a few more hit points. You guys came right from the forge to here and Thune didn't get attacked at all, right? I don't think so. We came from the elementals to here, didn't we? Yeah. But we healed up afterwards. Yeah, we healed up after. Garg, you're taking damage.

Okay, so he'll actually have 39 more hit points. And we can drain a few charges off the watch. Troy also has paper printouts, so you might not have updated it. Yeah, you're right. So, no, Thune's sitting at 61. Still not great when you're toe-to-toe with the time. No, that's one full-round attack from dead. Let's go for the confirm on the crit here.

Come on, Thune-sy. Come on. Do it for all the Thune lovers out there. Natty 19. Yes! And that's a named character. Oh, huge. Huge.

All right. Matt from Columbia, Maryland. Hi, Matt. We're going downtown. Let's go, BMO. See, your hit is so devastatingly forceful that it sends your adversary flying backward through the air.

Double damage, and the target flies 15 feet backwards and lands in a square of your choosing. And the target is 15 feet backwards and lands in a square of your choosing. And the target is prone. The amount of distance is modified by the difference in size category. Add five feet for every size category. You are larger.

Remove five feet for every size category. Your target is smaller. So he only goes back 10 feet. 10 feet is prone. Creature's three size categories are larger. Unaffected if the target's trajectory is blocked, it takes no additional damage. Yeah, so that's huge, dude! He knocks him back

10 feet and he's prone? Yeah, that's huge. The best part about this, it's a times 3 crit. Yeah, hell yeah! Oh, that's right! And it's got the frost and the wounding. And it's got the frost. So instead of 1d8 plus 8, it's gonna be 3d8 plus 24. I rolled 877. Oh! You are rolling rocks all over the place.

On fire! 14 plus 8 is 22 plus 24. What is that? 66 points of regular damage. And then the frost. And then just 1d6 cold. That doesn't triple. No. But it does. But it does get a little extra. So it's 1 point of cold

so it's 2 points of cold. 2 points of cold. And he gets 1 points of cold. Two points of cold. And he gets one point of bleed because of the wounding. That's right. So not bad for old Thunzi. No, it's bad. Thank you, Matt. He steps up, takes the hit, knocks the guy ten feet back.

Wow. Five, ten, and he lands on his ass. I think it's more as a matter of sheer force. It's just like the wound surprised him and staggered him so much. He put him on balance. It just starts staggering backwards and just falls on his back. sheer force it's just like the the wound surprised him and staggered him so much it starts like staggering backwards and just like falls on his on his back i like that it makes you think of uh is it uh bishop from the x-men that can absorb kinetic energy and then return it like three times as much it's like he took this huge blow and then just went back at him yeah i love it

so great it's a new round it's time to go to Dragon Town. We started with, we started with three dragons. One died before two more came in and now two more have died. There are only two dragons left. One is near Dalgrith with Dalgrith on its back.

Dalgrith! One is shaken from seeing Baron murder his best friend. They're best buds. Let's deal with the one. You know what? Let's deal with that one first. That one is going to fly right next to Baron. Oh, man.

And they got some reach on there. I can't get out of there easily, can I? Yeah, you can't. And we're going to vital strike you with a bite. Ooh. Putting it all into. Vital Strike you with a bite. Ooh. Ooh. Putting it all into... When you only got one attack, you got to make it count.

This is bad. Ooh. Okay. So that's going to be a 32 to hit. Yes, because he is not a giant. That's... Oh, yes. No, Vital Strike is going to be so much...

6d6 plus 10. Oof! How many ones? Could be worse. I rolled two ones. Yes! 34. You're good, Bear Bear.

A little bit better here. 12, 15, 25 points of damage. Not too bad. It's still not great for Bear Bear. Yeah, with Baron being right up next to it, that's going to make it a little tricky. Now, the one with Dalgrith here... Remember, there are two Dalgriths, the one with Dalgrith here. Remember, there are two Dalgriths.

There are two Dalgriths. And how have we dealt with this in the past? You usually just ignore it and just attack me. But here's the thing. If you hit it, then I don't have flanking next time. I can't get that sneak attack damage. Right. Are you trying to sell me on hitting the image just to take away the bullshit of bullshit all right he's working the rest all right you gotta tip your hat man do your worst uh you know what i'm gonna do a full attack on

you how's that sound let me take off vital strike i hate that uh let's start with i'm gonna do it it's not that bad it's only one two three four five six attacks. And you can get wing attacks off when I'm on your back. Sure, just go like... Does anyone try to scratch yourself in the back? Let's start with the bite. Let's just start with a bite. Do you ever try to scratch yourself in the back? 20.

Misses with the bite. I need a back scratcher to assist me in that. Let's go with the claws here. I love missing the bite. That's a good one. Yeah, the bite's a good one to miss. That's a huge one. That's going to be a 33 on the first claw.

That hits. Okay, let's just chip, chip, chipperoo on you here. Yeah, the bite's a good one to miss. That's a huge one. That's going to be a 33 on the first claw. That hits. Okay, let's just chip, chip, chipperoo on you here. Oh, minimum damage. Eight points of damage. Yes! Second claw, such garbage. Natural two. Yes!

Miss on that one. Now let's do a little... Just dodge it and swing it left to right. I love it. I love it. Let's go with the first wing. It's going to be a 26. Miss.

Miss. Second wing. Total miss. And then finally the first wing. It's going to be a 26. Miss. Miss. Second wing. Total miss. And then finally the tail slap. The tail slap. It comes slapping up on its back. I think I'm at 19. I missed.

Yes! Absolute guy. Flip it left, flip it right. I used all my good swings. Tail slap went right into his crotch and just missed. I once did that with a bag of cold cuts Caitlin makes fun of me about it till this day you slapped yourself in the back with a bag of cold cuts?

yeah I dropped it and with my cat like reflexes I grabbed it but unfortunately I grabbed it with such force that the bag swung up and hit me in the crotch real hard that's like exactly the moment Matthew became a vegetarian.

It was, in fact. That's right. I would become a meat eater after that point to get revenge on all the animals that provided the meat. I mean, it was my fault.

I dropped it. Yeah, but I like to misplace my anger. Dalgrith, you survived all those attacks, all those shitty shit shitty shit attacks Caitlin refers to that as ham punching it's your turn to

ham punch the dragon alright I'm gonna click my heels and go hasted here click click click let's let's do this so I can't believe I missed so many stabby stab away here come on dude come on Dalgrith first attack So, uh I can't believe I missed so many Stabby stab away here Come on, dude

Come on, Dalgrith First attack That's kind of cracked Oh, come on, dude What? It's kind of cracked It was cracked It doesn't look cracked to me now, Joe

It doesn't look cracked now, baby I just leaned in to look at it It's so painful What was it? It's a natural 20 But it's one of those ones that was like mostly 20, but kind of cracked, and nobody touched anything, and it eventually eased down to a natural 20. Oh, wow.

I know that's part of the roll. It is. As long as it's still moving, it's part of the roll. It's Caddyshack rules. Caddyshack putt rules. It's like a souffle falling in the oven. It happens, man. I'm going to say critical threat.

Yes! If it was meant to be, you'll confirm it. Critical threat. Critical threat. Critical threat. Let's go, dude. Get it, dude. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. That is a 30. That is a critical threat. I crit! I crit! Oh, my gosh. Oh, man. I can't believe it.

Oops, I crit my pants. Well, it's a lot of dung. All right, yeah, big one for tonight. This is Taliesin from Hudson Valley, New York. Hi, Taliesin. Ooh, Hudson Valley. Oh, I think I've heard from them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They've written into the show at some point. Yes, I believe so. Yeah. Ooh, I like the sound of this. Marked by death, you feel as you complete your attack that you are landing the killing blow. As your blow strikes true, you see a brief flash of a shadowy figure coming

to remove the target's soul. Quadruple damage. Oh! Whoa! If the target makes a successful will save, this is reduced to double damage. If the target makes a successful will save, this is reduced to double damage. So it's almost like a phantasmal killer. That's so crazy.

It's like you're double hanging on the side. DC 30 will save. Troy, do you have what it takes? Nope. Oh! No, I don't. Amazing! You cannot join the US Marines go back to the Coast Guard

I don't have any tanks oh every single die under three every single die three or under oh you're shitting me oh god that is this is quadrupled under. Oh, you're shitting me! Oh, God.

That is quadrupled. 54 points of damage. Well, that's enough to kill it. Yeah! Wow, he's got a kill! Yeah. He's got a dragon kill. I love it. You were on the dragon's space, right?

Yeah. Okay, so you come down right where it was. Okay. That seems like it's going to be important information in just a second. Oh, that's funnily convenient. I put you as far away from the fire giant as possible. Yeah, five foot step, full attack, actione away. Come on!

I saw you conveniently climbing on him from five feet away. That is the end of your turn, yes? Yes How else are you supposed to climb on him? You gotta start from five feet away You're supposed to be on his face, right? Here's what I have said In the past, whenever it's been advantageous for you to be in my square that I'm actually in I've stayed in my square that I'm actually in

However, it is totally up to your discretion I don't It's up to you Yeah Like, you can't occupy the creature's space, even if you're climbing on it. So, like, but it's a weird rule, and it's a weird class that doesn't address it, so it's totally your discretion. Right, yeah.

So I'm fine with it. I got no problem with it. I'm going to keep you right there, then. Five foot step, full attack action. This is concerning. But you got your combat trained Zoni. Yeah, but you know what? If you can breed a dragon, you can beat a fire giant.

I know, I know. I'm good. I'm good. I got this. It is Metra's turn. Metra, what do you want to do here? The battle looks like it's in good shape, but Baron is not. Well, we've got three people that are in dangerous positions right now.

Right. So Thun took a beating. Now, his opponent is lying on the ground. Yeah, so that's something. Yeah, can't do a full attack. Actually, he could at a minus something Actually he could at a minus four He could at a minus four and they got it pretty good to hit Not the metagame too much but we would know

That fire giants are considerable Adversaries No he can't he's 15 feet away He can't Then we've got Dogwreath who is now Facing down a Unhit fire giant I love this image right right? Like, he's

up on the dragon, thrashing away, dodging, dodging, dodging, puts the killing blow into its neck with this holy short sword. Kills it. It goes down, right? Boom. Dogwrith hits the ground, rises up, looking at the camera, victorious as behind him looms the great sword

of a fire giant. And he just turns around and he's like, Oh, fuck! It's like the Witch King standing up after his mount gets cut off. Yes, you think you're in the clear. Yeah. What do you think? And meanwhile, Baron is now in melee

with a young fire giant. Now, it is the one that was shaken, but still, that's no... A young dragon. Young dragon. Sorry, yes, a young dragon. So who do I have to help? Who needs the help the most is the question.

Say, Toggrath. Dude. And Grant is staring at me to say, I'm not doing anything. This is his new strategy, by the way. Grant talked to me about it. He was like, I'm going to never say anything about you. And then

reverse psychology will help help yeah yeah and i knew that i knew that joe would be judas and would betray me when the cock crowed three times three times so i got two more times to go yes yes yes just to confirm i have a jesus complex let's go i'm just checking range here. Okay. I actually, I can't. It's just out of range. What a shame.

Well, I can't get to Dalgrief on this turn and help him out. So first I'm going to help Baron out. Oh, blessed be amongst mattress. Metro is going to whisper the power word. Oh, power word.

You're going to power word. Kill Baron. God damn it, Joe. Metra is going to whisper the power word. Oh, power word. You're going to power word kill Baron? No, I can't power word kill Baron. God damn it, Joe. That'll happen in the 15th level. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. After Judas does that, it's up to the Romans to finish it, dude.

Get off my case. Actually, first, can I do a knowledge arcana check to see if dragons are subject to blinding effects? Yeah, you better hit it. Better hit roll really well. I did. That's a 29. Maybe. It's a wonder we don't know anything on these knowledge checks.

I'm so angry right now that that's his response. Maybe. The sheet is in a different language. Is it draconic? I can't tell you. It's a draconic. Your character sheet's his response. Maybe. The sheet is in a different language. It's in Draconic? I can't tell you. The sheet's in Draconic? Most of the special abilities are in Draconic. You really have to be a high-level GM to DM.

Or GM a giant. Sorry. You have to be a really high-level GM to GM a dragon. Listen, they have blind sense 60 feet, but that doesn't mean, like, if they couldn't see, you know... I don't think they would have blind sense if they were immune to blindness. That wouldn't make sense to put on a character sheet, would it?

Yeah, no, I mean, there's nothing here that says they're immune to blindness. All right, so Metra. What are you thinking? Metra will whisper the power word. What is it? Macaroni. Oh, that's a really good one. No, it's the power word. What is it? Macaroni. Oh, that's a really good one.

No, it's not macaroni. What is it? Tell her. Oh! Shit! And the dragon is blind. Wow! Well, what's the save?

There is no save. The power word, there's no save. Does it have less than 200 hit points? Yeah. And it's blind. Wow! Well, and I will tell you, depending on how many hit points it has, the duration will change. But I don't think it's really going to matter.

Because right now all I want to do is save Baron from attacks of opportunity. Yeah. Well, so even with Blind Sense, any opponent the creature cannot see, which is now all opponents, still has total concealment against the creature with Blind Sense. And the creature still has the normal mischance when attacking foes that have concealment, so he knows exactly where Baron is. But he still has a 50% mischance.

Yeah, and because of total concealment, I can't take the attack of opportunity. Oh, man. Oh, Matthew. Which may be all that was needed to save Baron's life. You are the conductor of Troy's failure. Yes, isn't it wonderful? Amazing.

Beautiful. Yes, all those it wonderful? Amazing. Beautiful. Yes, all those characters of his that have survived. Save the way to this. I'm a target. You are a target. Do you want to move at all? Yes, I do. Okay. Metro will dash 60 feet over towards Dogris. All that

and, oh yeah, 60 feet of movement. It is Baron's turn. If there's any luck left in my bones, Metri, you may have delivered us away from this just like I asked. He reaches his pistol up, Lawbringer, directly to the chest of the dragon and pulls back.

Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Misfire! Misfire! Misfire! 15 on the dodge. Oh yeah! Oh, here it comes comes I get to attack you 30 on the first attack Second attack Oh that's a hit

That's a 23 Oh yes I rolled The d4 doesn't matter 29 to hit Or 29 damage I apologize I'm so excited Come on. I rolled. You're rolling some rocks. The D4 doesn't matter. So 29 to hit. Or 29 damage. I apologize.

I'm so excited. Calm down. I just can't hide it. The next attack is a hit with a 23. Oh, man. God. 30 points of damage. Okay.

How is he alive? Come on. The final two. Finish him. Oh, jeez. Oh, my goodness. That was a natural one out of the box Thank god it went out of the box That's a hit with a 17 on the die

I'm just welcome to the Price is Right The Showcase Showdown That's only 26 points of damage Final attack Baron looks at this dragon in the eyes just fire going out of it,

and he flares the final bit of the hammer on his pistol. Okay. Very close to a misfire. Not quite. That is a nine. Actually, if I had on Bane, it's an 11. If you had on Bane? Bane is on.

I have turned on Bane's as the first and it is denied it's dexterity bonus to AC right because it's blind right oh yeah that would matter yeah that is a hit yeah would it hit without the Bane um a nine just ask for a friend don't worry about it here we go here we go. Here we go.

27 points of damage. It's dead. Yeah! All my grid points! I can't hold on to all these grid points! Quick question. Quick question. Yeah?

Did you have any rounds where you didn't kill a dragon? At least one dragon. You know what? Before he had to go retire and play some baseball, Michael Jordan had three seasons. No, I'm just kidding. Unbelievable. Five dragons are dead.

Two fire giants remain. Unbelievable. Metro, that was clutch. I'm getting some glory for hitting this shit, but that was amazing. Huge. And the power of being Della? So emotional right now. Unbelievable. Well, it is Jimmer's turn.

All right. Jimmer, like he was about to try to decide whether to go and help Dalgrith or Beren, but he hears a boom, boom, boom with four shots. In quick succession, he glances over his shoulder and sees the fourth dragon fall. And he's like, well, I guess I know what to do now. And he charges along the rim towards the fire giant that is fighting Dalgrith. Charge, charge, or flavor charge? Yeah, I'm going to charge, charge.

Charge, charge, charge, charge. Let's get that flanking going. And there is, well, I don't have flanking because Dalgrith is not in range yet. But I will get the normal bonus, which is pretty hefty. And that is a 38 to hit. Oh, yeah. That'll hit.

And that'll be 29 points of damage. Beautiful. All right. It's the Fire Giant's turn. Let's start with the one near Thun. You know, they can always surrender. No. They didn't want to die.

They want to get moved off of this position to a higher position within the army. If they take all of you down, they surely will. This guy stands up. Poor bastard. It takes bleed damage on his turn or on Thun's turn? He does take bleed damage on his turn. One point. One point of bleed.

He stands up. From no. From prone. From prone. Dirty knees. Charges Metra. Brutal. Shit, you know what though? He... Oh, don't kill Thu. He's ready to change. You know, but he has to move again to get within range.

Yeah. 15 feet away. I've already stood up so I can't charge. Right. So I don't think I can do anything other than, like, get closer to Thun. Closer? Closer? Yeah, if you get all the way up to him, then no matter what he does, he'll provoke. Yeah, so he's just going to close on Thun.

The other one is going to take a full attack action. On Jimmer. Sorry, Jim, Jim. That's rough, dude. He knows that Jimmer's AC has been lowered from the charge, so he wants to know. I'm going to take the first swing on Dalgrith. Okay. To see.

Fucking 25. Miss. Miss! Not by much either By the way Yeah yeah I do not have a Baron AC Actually I have to commit to you

Because you're 15 feet away as well So 5 foot step Second attack Oh shit That means we're not flanking 29 to hit That is a hit That is a hit

Even with haste on? Oh you didn't give haste Yeah I do have haste But it's still a hit With your Defensive Wow

29 points of damage On that hit Come on, critical threat Come on with the final attack Critical threat Come on Natural 20 Oh, no

What? Liar No You will not confirm it Look over here Look over my Turn on that screen Liar. No. You will not confirm it. Look over here. Look over my screen. That's a Grant Berger confirmed natural 20. Unless he's learned sleight of hand from the gamblers he hangs out with all the time.

I knew I was due. I knew I was due. No way. No way. I don't think I'll confirm. It's my lowest to hit, but let's see. 28. Confirmed.

Oh, no. However. However. 28. Confirmed crit. Oh, no! However, however, Dalgrith is able to roll with it. What is that? Roll with it is his never-before-used campaign trait. Ooh. Wow. Which allows him, twice per day, to take normal damage from a confirmed crit from a giant.

From a giant. Twice per day? That's huge. from a giant. From a giant. Twice per day? That's huge. That's amazing. That is massive. That would be once per day for everybody else, twice per day for my characters.

Twice per day for dwarves. Twice per day for dwarves. That is the best campaign trade I've ever heard of. That is an incredible campaign. That would have been 6d6 plus 30 damage to you. Yeah, you must be aware of the attack and able to react to it. If you are denied your dexterity bonus AC, you can't use it. If you are a dwarf or a gnome, you can use this ability twice per day. Wow, cool.

It also, by the way, all the time gives you a plus one bonus to reflex saves. So it is an awesome campaign trait. What campaign is it from? God damn it, you got me. Mummy's mask. It's just amazing. So I imagine this greatsword came down and it was about to hit you in a vital part of your body. And he turns with the blow, absorbs some of it.

It's all that time watching Jimmer practice back at the cathedral. He learned to play. Fundamentals, Jimmer. That's fundamentals. Footwork. It's all in the footwork, baby. Footwork. 26 points of damage.

Nothing. Nothing. It's Thune's turn. Thune is toe-to-toe with this giant. He's hit him once. Thune's going to Thune. I mean, what is Thune going to do? Just wait and see what happens?

Thune's going to take some swings. He's got two of them. First attack. Fucking missed. Come on, of them. First attack. Fucking missed. Come on, Thune. Second attack. When I'm playing Thune, I'm on your side here. Second attack. I'm bleeding when I see it. That's a hit with a 26. Alright.

Oh, man. So that is gonna be 1d8 plus 8. 12 points of regular. 2 points of cold, which will be 3 points of cold, so 15 points of damage altogether. And then another point of cold, so 15 points of damage altogether, and then another point of bleed on his turn. I don't think those stack.

I don't know if wounding stacks. It does. It does? Yes. Okay, well, I don't think it's going to come down to one hit point, but if it does, we can always look that up to make sure. Well, we read it. We read it.

We did. Yeah. Wounding stacks? Great. Yeah, otherwise, it's a super valuable property. If it only did one bleed, it wouldn't be that valuable. It's like a plus three or something equivalent, or plus two or plus three. Yeah, it's...

They stack each time. Each time you get an additional... Top of a new round. Let me just go through my initiative track here. Dead dragon, dead dragon, dead dragon, dead dragon, dead dragon, Dalgrith. Beautiful. Dalgrith is going to take a five-foot step up to the giant, and by this time... Jimmer, get into position!

And I'm going to ready an action to attack when Jimmer steps into flanking. When Jimmer steps into flanking. Mm-hmm. It is Metra's turn. I mean, I gotta do it. Will you roll a reflex save for your giant? Oh, no.

Which one, the one attacking Thun? Yes. Are you going to try and disintegrate again? No, that's a reflex save. That's a... Because a pit appears beneath his feet. Oh, no. Which one? The one attacking Thun? Yes. Are you going to try and disintegrate again? No. That's a reflex. That's a... Because a pit appears beneath his feet. Oh, no. 20?

That is a fail. Yeah! That goddamn pit. Son of a pit. I mean, I don't want to do the pit, but I got to save Thun. You got to save Thun. Force my hand. I understand.

Do you put it in a way where Thun won't be right on the edge of it? Yes Like there And he goes He falls into the pit Falls into the pit So as per usual That is a

Oh I leveled up so the pits are deeper now How deep is your pit? That will be a 70-foot pit. Wow. Oh, God. I don't get another save down the bottom, right, to avoid taking all of the falling damage? No. All right, roll 76.

You want me to do it? Yes, I want you to do it. All right. That sounds fun. You want me to do it? Who else would do it? Troy, usually. Yeah, you can roll.

It's fine. Oh, man. Have your moment in the sun, Captain Akazami. I counted my D6s. So many. So many D6s. My hand isn't ready for this. A Cobbletuttle.

Oh, I see a GCP. I see a GCP 6. 24 points of falling damage. Oh, God. Okay. Phenomenal. Does the pit contract and start eating him? On your turn.

Oh, good. All right. We'll wait until my turn. Are you done? I mean, yeah. Baron. Why not? What do you think?

Baron, take a round off. Let us kill this one. Baron peeks around the wing of the dragon. He has to pull part of it out of his face as it collapses on top of it. And he hears the hungry pit open and the familiar sound of a giant falling down it he clicks his spurs and begins walking over

deliberately moved just thrilled just cling cling and he goes love it he just sings I got spurs that jingle jangle jingle and right at the edge because he can't shoot down that far especially now that sings, I got spurs that jingle, jangle, jingle.

And right at the edge, because he can't shoot down that far, especially now that it's deeper, he casts long shot on himself. So hopefully as this giant starts climbing up, it'll be within touch attack range. Alright, so you don't move up to the edge, you stay five feet from the edge. I stay five feet in case he gets up or something crazy

happens. Okay, okay. It is Jimmer's turn. All right, Jimmer takes a five-foot step in towards the giant that is facing Dalgrith. And Dalgrith will trigger his AOA. Not AOA, but his regular attack. All of them, right? No, no, just one. You took a five-foot step.

No, but you can't ready a full attack. But you can't ready a full attack. See what you got. You're flanking. I actually don't have my giant bin out, though. That is a 27. That's a hit. Nice.

And it is evil, right? Fire giants are evil, of course. That's a lot of D6s there, Joe. That is. That is. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.

That is 44 points of damage. Holy shit. Not bad. 6, 6, 5, 5, 5, 5, 4, 4, 4. Unbelievable. Jimmer, are you going to take this guy out? He's going to try. Come on, Jimmer.

Jimmer is going to take his first swing with Terminus S. Crit number one. That is a 40 to hit. Not a crit. Yeah. That is 31 points of damage. Okay. Hold on.

I'm going to go. Okay. What? Opportunist. Oh. My new talent, remember? No. A rogue can make an attack of opportunity against an opponent who has just been struck

for damage and melee by another character Oh no This fire guy is having a bad day They really should have surrendered 27 again We should have gotten that free intimidate man Oh my god Holy shit

Oh finally Dalgrith is 43 one less than the last one. 43 points of damage. Don't hit that thing. And he's dead. Yeah! So Jimmer steps up.

You hit him. He turns around and gets hit by Jimmer. He gets turned around and boom. Like a cartoon. That was awesome. That was awesome teamwork. Oh, God. Look at that teamwork.

Unbelievable. It is the Fire giant's turn and he eventually dies as well he's leaving down there in a pit to rock uh yeah i mean by next turn baron you're able to step up and unleash the full fury with long shot you can see down the end there walk me through what happens if he was still baron would take a five foot step up and i imagine he failed his check. So it still would be more than 50 feet away with the new depth of Metra's pit. So upon seeing him be that far away and not wanting to waste grip points against, to be able to resolve against touch AC outside of his first range increment. Baron's feet lift off the ground and he dives within 50 feet and just begins.

Wow. Like within the pit. And you just see like the lights of the muzzle flare. Oh, my God. Pop out the side and just gristle from his skull and brain matter pops out of the top. And you just see Baron pop up like a gopher from a whack-a-mole game and says, dinner's ready. And we'll see you next week. What a team!

What a team! We win! Five dragons! It's a dream win! Five dragons. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015. Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo.

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