The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 239 - Surely You Nest

Episode Date: December 24, 2019

After surviving a thunder of dragons, the heroes continue cautiously exploring the oversized nests. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. I'm a little on edge. A little on edge. I don't really know what happens from here. I was expecting that to be a little more dangerous. The heroes regroup after the skirmish. You guys really lit up my dragons last week. Is that a euphemism? Yeah, it was after the show. Me and Matthew in the bathroom.

Lit up a couple dragons. Lit up my dragons. Sure is. And explore the dragon's lair. Metro, do you want to scout it out, or do you want me to go? I'm happy either way. Up to you, Deathbringer. All right, then step aside.

Step aside for the dragon slayer. But as tensions and temperatures rise... There's an intense warmth coming from the end of the hallway. Is it like a homey, like a Christmas Eve, like a... Around the fire kind of warmth? Yeah, like a hearth, or is it more like a... Kind of like a pumpkin bread is burned people alive kind of warmth. It's not nice.

Will they find light in the darkness? What is going on, Troy? Just tell us what's going on. What's the fucking deal, man? Seriously, what's's the story what's in the cave the adventure continues now Hello all. Why, today is the 358th day of the year, which may be better known as the birthday of Ava Gardner. Also the day on which the Treaty of Ghent was signed in 1814. It is also the eve of Christmas. So, Merry Christmas

to those of you who celebrate that, and to all of our listeners, I just want to thank you for another great year. Thank you for your support. And thanks for listening to a bunch of nerds play a game together. We really appreciate that. So, Happy New Year to you all. Alright, keeping it short today

Please enjoy episode 239 It's the best week of the year On my calendar On any calendar It's Christmas week This episode is coming out On midnight of Christmas Eve Merry Christmas.

Santa's coming in 24 hours, because I know you're listening to this at 12.01 a.m. on the East Coast. Sure, you're excited for Christmas, but you're more excited to see what's going to happen post-Dragon Fight. But in our excitement last week, I'm still thinking about Christmas. I did forget to do something. our excitement last week, I'm still thinking about Christmas. I did forget to do something. And, uh,

I'd like to really, as we, as we come up on new year's resolutions next week, uh, end this bit. Um, so grants, I resolved to end this.

We're done with these stupid ass recipes. Would you please tell us yours? Because the fans have spoken and they're upset. They're upset that I skipped you. Please regale us with a Christmas-themed cookie recipe. In the spirit of the season, in both the giving spirit of Santa Claus and Jesus Christ himself,

he died for our sins so that we could find Santa Claus and Jesus in the same person. Is that your understanding of Christmas? No, that's it. Santa Claus and Jesus in the same place. Is that your understanding of Christmas? No, that's it. He gets, he got older and the beard turned white. I think you're missing a few elements of the story of Jesus. Don't ruin it, Matthew.

He had a couple hot dishes. He moved to the North Pole. Got a little fat. His beard went white. When they get to a certain age, they gotta move. They retire. They move to a different region. Some more conduc conducive he didn't get the just for men that we bought matthew for christmas his beard got a little gray uh no uh the answer is is that i've consulted my family i've consulted your family yeah the internet peter brady i've heard i've heard some things from people i will be a miserly grinchinch this Christmas and not give out my brisket recipe nor my chili recipe.

No, neither one. They go to the grave with me. Don't do it. Anyway, Grant. Then let's kill him. Oh, no. Search his wallet. I'll kick his face.

No, you need to season my body differently. No, I'm not giving anything. So what are you going to give us? I'm going to give us something. Gosh. Probably the best recipe I could give you is two chicken thighs, some oregano, honey, and some stuff in an Instapot, and it's pretty good. Sounds amazing.

Yeah, it's great. No, I can't. I can't. honey and some stuff in an instapot and it's pretty good sounds amazing yeah it's great no i can't i can't i the best recipes i have you got to come to a little burger backyard barbecue on the patio some people got to follow on social give us your address bill did you invite the whole nation to a barbecue the address is ho ho ho north pole lane show. You can hang out with me and Jesus and Santa. Same person. It's like the Holy Trinity, but now it's the Holy Quadrilogy. Well, I was hoping this bit would go out with a whimper, and there it goes.

There it went. There it went. I wonder if it's going to be a white Christmas. Obviously, we're recording this in early June 2016. Would were that true. 2016 so it's not quite true can you imagine the conspiracy like the web that we would have had to spin that'd be so much to keep track of so much to keep track of yeah I mean we talked

about the Boston show we didn't even book a Boston show man that'd be more work than just actually just recording just the months Matthewthew had to pretend like his latest character wasn't dead oh yeah that's true i just brought everybody down that's it that's what the holidays do sometimes uh this is episode 239 we got 240 coming up and then we're only about 10 11 episodes away from 250 you excited for that one matthew i'm excited for every episode drawer because i care about this company i care about this show i doubt that you're actually excited about every episode matthew i'm going to just call that i

doubt that you care about this company yes all of your actions speak to the otherwise i'll be honest there are a couple episodes that are not my favorite. But I will go to the grave. You shut the fuck up. I will go to the grave, probably eventually admitting that to several people. No, don't. Not too many. Don't, don't, don't. Yeah, yeah.

Angel knows my chili and my brisket recipes. Keep it the same way. Same level of important information. So I can tell Caitlin what episodes I think are garbage? Yes, but don't tell her my brisket recipe. I don't know your brisket recipe. Exactly. Wow.

Just keep up that story. March 10th is when episode 250 comes out. Pretty exciting. And that'll probably be the last episode of the show. I'm sure we'll finish both five and six sometime in the next three weeks. Well, as long as we keep averaging 1.7 dragon kills per round, we should finish book six around April. And so March 10th is not only Girl Scout Sunday, if it falls on a Sunday, I suppose.

It's also Harriet Tubman Day. Very important and a historical figure in our country. And International Bagpipe Day. Oh. Also, I think this one's for us. Slightly less important. Yes. Quite a bit think this one's for us. Slightly less important. Yes. Quite a bit.

This one might be right up our alley. International Day of Awesomeness. Let's make $250. Wow. Oh, that's pretty cool that Harriet Tubman Day is also the International Day of Awesomeness. Yeah. She's pretty awesome. Is that when the movie's coming out?

Is that the same thing? The movie's already out. Yeah, it's out. Oh, it is out? Yeah. The awesome awesome movie i'll keep that in mind for my mom that's a good one i'll take her to that um well you know the nice thing about recording these in advance is that we don't feel the real pressure of the holiday season yet um like all the people listening to this i thought you felt it all year year long. I do, but the pressure of like, God, I'm not going to get everything I need in time.

And oh, I hope that I was a good boy this year and Santa brings me lots of good things. You don't get that stress? Do you ever? I think we all get that stress, but I think there might be some people in the nation out there that are just like, oh man, I'm stressed out to be around my family.

It's hard. Like, I need just a break. I'm going to take a walk and listen to the show. You never get that, though, though. Do you try? No, I don't. I was like, right. But you're just always thrilled to be around your fam, right?

I do. I do like being around my family. I do like being around your wife's fam. I do. Yeah. I'm very I'm very fortunate. I'm very blessed during this holiday season to have lots of lovely family. The amount of times that you came back from hanging out with Sam's family and would not

hang out with me because you had had too much fun with them. I was like, this sucks, dude. This is really lame. Yeah. You go back and it was just booze and a breweries for four straight nights with Sam's dad. He's the best. I'm not drinking for this month, but I'll see you next month joe like what the hell man i'm an expert in avoiding hanging out with you yes you're very good at it no matter the season uh well uh to you and yours whatever

you celebrate i hope you're enjoying the holidays and uh we uh hopefully we'll all be alive next christmas and um still doing this show or a similar show or not. We might be dead. And you might be dead, too. You're really in a dark place. Happy holidays. Happy holidays, everybody. Merry Christmas.

We can't see his eyes either. They're below the brim of his hat. He's just looking down. I'm a little tense about this app because it's affecting my introductory banter here because you guys really lit up my dragons last week. Is that a euphemism? Yeah, it was after the show. Me and Matthew in the bathroom. Lit up a couple dragons.

Lit up my dragons. Lit up George's dragons. I'll show you a breath weapon. There you go, Matthew. Oh, no. There you go, Matthew. Oh, boy. And so I'm a little on edge. A little on edge. I don't really know what happens from here.

I was expecting that to be a little more dangerous. But it's given me pause. It's given me pause. So I'm curious to see where things go from here. Obviously, when you left the Great Stare area and you came up to this next level, you had the option of going many different ways. As you started going down a long tunnel,

it broke off, and you could see a little light up ahead, and you're like, you know, we'll deal with that later. Let's go, let's avoid these tracks that were running towards us in that light, and then some sort of forges and an iron maiden to the left in a room that appeared to be abandoned that had hallways leading off of that as well. So you're like, you know what, let's continue going north before we decide to come back down here.

You go north and you enter this dragon rookery. You fight three dragons, two fire giants that were on guard, and then two other dragons come flying in to join the fight, and you handle them. What did you expect going into that? Because if I were you, I feel like I would have been like,

this is a brutal encounter. I did think it was a brutal encounter, but I wanted to... This is the way it was written. I wanted to throw the kitchen sink at you and see what happened. I mean, for you to evade three breath weapons to start things off, it kind of set the tone for the whole combat. We got lucky.

Just with the roles, we got pretty lucky. Yeah, we had really good roles. I mean, it could be that or it could be that Dogwrith just, like, he leads by action, you know what I mean, it could be that or it could be that Dogwrith just like he leads by action. You know what I mean? Right. And inspires people by what he does. Not just what he says.

Right, right, right. But actually doing it. I'm sure that had some effect on it. He's like an action bard. What? Did you think you were going to kill one of us? No, no, no, no. But I thought I'd, I mean, I was hoping. I'm always hoping.

I mean, you hurt me pretty bad. Yeah, that's what I was going to ask. Like, hit point wise, people are hurt, right? I'm at about half of my HP. I'm about half, too. I'm about half as well. And I evaded, I didn't evade, I dodged every single breath weapon. That's right. One would have hit you, but you used the tattoo to

block it. Obviously, you, Dalgrith, had a cool power to avoid the crit from the fire giant, so you guys had a couple of get-out-of-jail-free cards where that could have been a lot uglier. But I guess this is what happens at high-level play. You should have an ability for everything at this point. Until you don't.

What do you want to do here? First thing Dogwraith wants to do is walk over to Jimmer and high-five him. After that back and forth. I think it's going to be a low five. Oh, right. He's so large. Yeah. If you wait, he'll come down. Don't crush him. Can you reach? After that back and forth. I think it's going to be a low five. Oh, right. He's so large. Yeah. If you wait, he'll come down.

Don't crush mine. Jimmer leans down and knocks Dogman to the ground. That was a nice piece of fighting, Jimmer. Yeah, that was all right. That remembered your footwork. That was all right. I never killed a dragon before. Oh, man.

You went like this and then I went like that. Yeah. It was a beautiful thing. We killed that giant, too. That was amazing. Good. ever killed a dragon before oh man you went like this and then i went like that yeah it was oh yeah no we killed that we killed that giant too that was that was amazing dragon and he he goes over and he like skids down slides down to the bottom of the the rookery down this uh this uh slope and he picks up the head of the dragon he cut cut his head off. And he's like looking up at it with the blood, smoking blood dripping down. He's like, hey, is there any way we could fit this in the sack? I would love, man, I'd love to take this home.

All right. And Baron opens up the sack. I just wish we had some saran wrap. Yeah. Put it in. I don't want to get. All right. Here.

Maybe. Give me your coat. No no it's not for what you think it attracts a lot of flies he like rubs the severed neck and uh the dust to the dirt to the car or yeah i can burn it like cauterize it then he like dumps it in there it's like man that look good if i ever retire it's gonna look real good over a fireplace. Do you ever think about retiring, Jimmer? Yeah, you know, I'm getting up there. What would you do with your retirement? Well, I don't know. I think just put old Terminus S, like, up over the mantelpiece,

and then this dragon head probably over that. I don't know. Maybe, uh... I don't know. I thought too much about it. You're a more sentimental type than I would have thought you'd been when I first met you. That's a good thing. It's not a criticism. No, I mean, I treasure my memories for sure. I mean, I've seen some wonderful things, some horrible things in the service of my employer.

Well, as long as he and his family have no further need for me, yeah, it'd be all right to kick back and enjoy the spoils of the life I've led. I never thought I'd live long enough or make enough to be able to do anything like that. So, yeah, yeah, it'd be all right well we've all certainly found a need for you but i think we all also appreciate you being with us so well likewise i'm sure just all fucking five dead dragon yeah i know we're standing all around us yeah but yeah but but speaking of of retirement, let's dig through here. Maybe there's a little bit of a reward for some.

For me, though, I thought you were going to fire Jimmer. Yeah, I know. Listen, Jimmer, we really appreciate all the work you've done. It's not like you're about to give me a gold watch there for a second there, buddy. It's not a compliment sandwich with me. It's like a compliment lasagna. Just layer after layer of compliments. Well, the first one came from over this way.

Dogwrath indicates the cave out of which the other one came out of. Maybe they left something back there. Thun, it seems, has walked all the way up to the lip of the cave, at the outside cave. Oh, yes. While you were talking, Thun slid down the hill as well and walked all the way up to the edge. And he just has his back to all of you. And he's staring out over the edge of the cliff. Soon!

Calls across the huge gap here, 100 feet or more. What are you doing? Just taking in the view. Jimmer makes his way up there. Yeah, Metro's going to go as well. Oh, all right. Clambers down the slope, follows Jimmer and Metro. So you walk over there,

and you see that it's a pretty steep drop down, hundreds and hundreds of feet from the ground. And obviously there are hundreds and hundreds of giants down there, camps upon camps, flying those different flags, the same flags you saw when you first crested the mountain that overlooked the valley in which Ash Peak lay. So you see all that, but the first thing that catches your glimpse is the view of the Mindspin Mountains, which look to be surrounding this area on all sides. It's absolutely stunning.

And I imagine for Baron especially, you think of your journey thus far, everything you've done in the Mindspin Mountains, in Minderhall's Valley, and even before that when you left True Now and went to Nargrim's Tomb. You were climbing through these mountains and you've just been going ever south. Minderhall's Valley, the Cathedral, Skirgard, stopping to meet the dwarves of Kragadan, another Sky Citadel, and then now here at Ash Peak,

possibly your ancestral home. And all of you as well, even though you haven't been with Baron since the tug of war, you've all traveled from all over to come to this place. And so there has to be this moment of just complete awe at

the world around you as you all take stock of every moment that has led you to this moment. It's quite breathtaking, isn't it? Yes. Ah, it is. The world always seems bigger every day, doesn't it?

From up here, things seem a little smaller. He's looking down at the giants and their encampments. They look like ants from up here. Seems that we think about them as these... This great war machine that will consume the entire world, but... Even if they manage to, look how small they are. Something's eventually gonna take them out as well.

It's just a passing thing. We're all the passing things. Aye. Looking at all this vastness makes me think about how long it took me to get up to a peak like this to see what's below me.

And it's made me think a lot about the things that have changed with me along this journey. And then his eyes dart to Thune. Sheriff Thune. No, I'm Sheriff Thune. I'm so confused. He looks at Sheriff Thune and he says, You still thinking about changing? Over the wind kind of blowing

over us from the vistas below. You still thinking about changing there, Thune? Now more than ever, Sheriff Thune. Why is that? It's not so much that I'm thinking about it,

but I'm feeling the change coming This journey that we are on together Is doing something to me Doing what exactly? I do not know, Miss Nahn. But I'm feeling stronger. Did you see how I was able to hit that giant and knock him backwards? We did.

Knock him backwards. We did. Now that you're about to change again, or you feel something rumbling inside your soul, is there anything else you've begun to remember in regards to feeling like you'd met me before? He turns around from the view and looks at you. No. No. No, not yet. But there is some connection. Sheriff.

It will out. But come. We should move, lest more dragons come flying in. Jimmer is silent, just looking over at the euphoria that he was feeling having bested dragons for the first time in his life. He kind of ebbs away, and gets a hard look in his eyes and he turns and he says, yeah, still a lot to do. And he turns back and starts searching this cave for anything valuable. Yeah, I want to make my way up to where the first dragon came from.

Yeah. yeah i want to make my way up to where the first dragon came from smaller thinner passageway uh but this nest up here where the dragons first emerged when they attacked you dalgrith that continues deeper as well um Are you up there, Metro? Sure. Okay, because you can see even farther. And it looks like the nest goes on another 50, 60 feet or so. And then there's a tunnel leading off of that as well. However, you get up there, and the first thing that catches your eye are coins scattered all over the place. Oh, yeah. Oh, shit, yeah. Oh, we talking Hordetown?

Yeah, baby. And there are tens of thousands of coins scattered all over the place. Amazing. So it takes some time to kind of gather it all. But you do see lots of coin. Wow. All right. The overload.

Let me gather it. I can use some mage hand to kind of help. It turns into like the shape of a bulldozer. Exactly. Backhoe. Yeah, I mean, you take oh boy, you can take a good 20 minutes

or so, maybe more, to gather up all these things and you find 87,550 copper pieces and 64,750 silver pieces. Wow. But that's it. It doesn't seem like it's it. Can you repeat those numbers to me? 87,550 copper pieces.

Is that 875 gold? Yeah, it's 1,000 copper to 1 gold. Oh, wait, no. Yeah, that's not right. 64,000. So it's just 87 gold, yeah. 64,750 silver pieces. Doesn't seem like a typical dragon hall.

Can we examine the coins for their provenance? Like if they're from a nation nearby, human, otherwise, whatever? Some you might recognize. There's the Sigil of Nirmathas, there's Mulfoon. Others are

currency you're not familiar with. They could be taken from all over quick perception and detect magic through the bones baron just kind of like digging through there as if something's missing the metro will start to wander around the pit too and detect magic yeah every so often uh and uh 41 on the perception you uh you look, and both of you are detecting magic. You don't detect any magic whatsoever. If you really scan the room, take some time, no magic. With your 47 perception, the only other thing you see kind of sticking out besides these coins,

you see some polished river pebbles and some cut glass mixed in. Shiny objects. Perhaps this is not their lair. Maybe they're pets. This is just meant to quell them. Yeah, meant to attract them, keep them coming. No, this is just like wood chips

that you'd scatter at the bottom of a hamster cage. It's a bunch of like worthless coins. Here's an idea. This one I'll throw out there. If you don't like it, you can throw it right back. What if, we know Jimmer is as strong as a rhinoceros, and we also have magical means. Would it be worth it dumping a dragon body or two

down the side of the mountain into the giant camp? Oh, man. Couldn't hurt, especially the headless one. A bunch of headless dragons. Yeah, yeah. The only fear I have with that is that we collapsed a tunnel earlier, right? And I don't know if that's still collapsed or if it's been broken through at this point. Just even more attention to this place.

I mean, they know we're here. I mean, it's on high alert. I don't think we but part of me is thinking that maybe they're thinking they can handle that themselves rather than alert these diverse group of people outside from i don't know that's just what i'm thinking i like it's always fun it is i i know what you're saying it's like maybe they might flood the the volcano but we can always teleport away. Yeah. It's true. And then we can launch a tactical nuclear missile at it.

I say it's a bold maneuver. I say we do it. All right. Put the fear of God into them. Should we at least inspect these other two hallways? We'll do it after we know we're done with this room. these other two hallways we'll do it after we we know we're done with this room and what looks like another sinkhole like the other one we came upon that that led to the uh sulfurous underbelly that was trafficked by giants and eventually led to kind of a bar relief of of the ash peak or

some dwarven line and and these fire elementals we fought that I cheated against. Yeah, you do see another sinkhole there. If you go over and examine it, it looks too thin to traverse. All right, well, that makes it easier for us to look down those other two paths first, right? Yeah, so did we get to the end of the southern pass on top of the ledge? You, yeah, I mean, if you kept walking down there, you could see that it just kept stretching into another tunnel.

Oh, so there is a, I don't know. Okay. Ben, does the same thing kind of happen with the northeastern corner? Or am I misreading the map? Yeah, no, you have two tunnels now, it looks like. You can go down the one that leads off of the nest where you found the coins, and then on the lower portion of the floor, closer to where the sinkhole is, there's another tunnel leading.

So one leads, uh, south-east, and one leads directly east. Alright, Metra, you have a harebrained scheme to throw down these dragons. We might as well do it before we move forward. I think it'll be effective.

One question before we do. While we may inspire fear in the giants, could we unnecessarily inspire iron dragons? Do we know that there's no larger, older adults in the vicinity? That is a concern. Just a thought. They may not be here on their own

volition. For every reason to suspect that they've been enslaved, mind-controlled, whatever. They might think the giants did it, but fair enough. Throw the giants down instead. That's fine by me. That we could totally do.

Behead them and throw them down. Or we could place them in incriminating poses as they're dead and draw chalk outlines around them and put up some Do Not Cross police tape. Or what if we prop them up like scarecrows

in the cave opening? There's some history to that. What's that? We've run into that before. Something similar. Just throw them down. Just throw them down. Just throw them down.

Scare the masses below. Can we write something on their... Can you imagine if you're walking around, you're going about your day, hanging out in the giant camp, going to get some lunch, and all of a sudden, one of your own just comes falling down from 700 feet above you. Just comes beheaded.

Braveheart, man. Isn't that Braveheart? Right? Yeah. The vengeance of Braveheart, man. That's like right in giant-ish, like giants go home. Yeah. We've tried that before.

Yeah, that we have tried before. All right, so you're going to sever the heads of the dead giants and throw them off? Yep. All right, so they... The bodies and heads, I guess. We can throw those, too. And is there a way to, like... They tumble down the mountain.

Is there a way to cause a, like, a... Rock us? ...landslide or, like, a rock avalanche? I don't know if it's snowy up here or not. There's nothing we can do, like, mechanically to do something like that, right? No, no, no. To kill all the women and children in one shot. And don't forget, if you remember the way that they were camped,

they were camped hundreds of feet away from the base of the mountain so that you couldn't have just run freely. They would have seen you. This might be like a scout finding these like a day later or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure anyone with good vision would be like, is that a giant that just jumped off the edge of that mountain? Yeah.

Is that a headless giant? Where's his head? Morale is so bad up there. Glad we're out here. We had a luau last night. Two other questions. There's probably no way for us to seal off this hole from which it seems like the other dragons that showed up later in combat arrived through, right?

It's too big. It's too hard. It's about 5, 10, 15, 20, about 45, 50 feet wide. Actually, there might be a way. You mean a stone shape? Not stone shape. Shape stone? That got me.

That was good. Bottle cap. You have cave hole plug? Hole plug? Cave hole plug? We have the rod of mortared walls. Oh, right, right, right, right, right. We haven't used that yet.

Oh, wow. Does it create a permanent wall? Yeah. Oh. Wow. Nikes. That's crazy. What does that do?

It can read up on us. It has three abilities. That's what it does. Oh, that's crazy what does that do read up on his three abilities that's what it does oh that's right that's right oh yeah try it 10 feet uh a brick or stone wall 10 feet long 10 feet high and one foot thick uh which takes approximately eight hours of work oh right so it's 10 and then it cures another eight hours after that yeah and then the second ability is it can move a piece of rock that's really heavy and then the third ability is you can basically you can you can use it in combat and draw a line in the ground with the trowel blade and over the course of the next 10 rounds a line grows into a lion grows into a wall of stone at a rate of one foot per round. All those ten ring combats.

Ten feet high, ten feet long, and it can be used three times a day. Bless you for remembering that. I'm really glad we were able to do that. That is impressive. Yeah, that's incredible. Oh, go on. This hole is going to be too big for you to be able to patch up. You could make, like like a small little wall.

Small wall. Yeah. Second question. Is this room unusual enough for Metra to find another teleportation point into this mountain? We have a good one. Yeah, but it's way far down. We have to go past those salamander things lounging around that we don't know. This is another checkpoint. This is like finding a campfire, a bon's way far down. We have to go past those salamander things lounging around that we don't know. This is another checkpoint.

This is like finding a campfire, a bonfire in Dark Souls. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, there's certainly more stuff here than just your average tunnel. All right, boo-boo. All right, cool. Where are we going? East or southeast? I think east.

All right, Baron, lead the way. You stay about 60 feet ahead. I think, should we take some time to, man? Oh, yeah, absolutely. We got to heal. No, we must move with all haste. Nope. Dude, stop right there.

You need to heal as well. I'm changing. Change into a wand of healing. Joe, queue up Dream Royals right now. Okay, fine. So you do your healing, get doing a little healing to... Which way are you going?

East, baby. East. All right, so... To the east side. Metra can see a little bit farther. If you stand there at the edge, you see that this tunnel just keeps going. Metra, do you want to scout it out,

or do you want me to go? I'm happy either way. Up to you, Deathbringer. All right, then step aside. Step aside for the dragon slayer. There you go. That's my man right there. And so he'll stay a good 25, whatever,

feet ahead of the crew, and he'll go all the way up and roll stealth and perception. Okay. As he's going. Roll it. So first, let's do that stealth. That is a 40.

Okay. 40. And then perception is a 24. You stealth all the way up to the edge of Metro's sights. You feel pretty quiet. And then you take a peek, and you see that the room opens up again. Okay. It looks similar to the nest that you were just in.

This is now officially the largest map I've ever played on This is enormous If you zoom all the way out and if it is scaled properly to what it's meant to be Enormous Also it's only part two, it's part two of the map Right The features of the whole area are pretty similar to the previous one But there's more bones covering the floor

In here? In here, yeah They take magic? They're making the floor. In here? In here, yeah. Detect magic? Making the whole level down here difficult terrain. Whoa. Detect magic first? Yeah, detect magic. I step up to the edge, so I probably will be able to see if there's more.

Step right up to the edge. You don't detect any magic. Is there more to the room? There sure is. As you can see more, you see it really stretches. Whoa. Oh, my God. And the whole, every square is difficult terrain?

Yeah. How? It's just littered with bones. Hats and bones. I can see even more than that if there is more. Okay. You start to feel wind whipping through again from the north. Wind, okay.

I bring the wind back can you see more in that metro uh yeah actually a little bit around the periphery right yeah i can see all the way up to there there you go directly in front of us how about that wow wow that's a room it's room and you're not even seeing the whole thing. It's dark in here? It is dark. There is some light coming in from the north. It feels like there's another opening overlooking the mountain up there.

Should we take a look? I think so. That's why we came east already. Let's go. Alright, let's move slow. Obviously this... Ah, it's no agile feet. These bones are going to get tough going. Crunch.

Crunch. Crunch. Jimmer is like a mulcher behind us. Dogger is going to stay right behind Jimmer. As he mulches, it obviously becomes less of difficult terrain. I'm not huge anymore, but... Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

Crunch. Huge anymore, but... Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch. Like, working his way, working their way slowly through this bone field at the killing fields. Like Dr. Hengist. Can I do a perception on the bones as I'm walking over them? See if I spot anything of interest within the bones. That is a 29. Nothing of interest. More some humanoid

some animal some other how do you survival to see if there are any other tracks be they giant dragon or otherwise and if

you know they're the same different than anything else we've seen so far it's alright it's a 19 19 you know obviously the bones are littering the ground,

but if you move them away carefully to see tracks, you can see, like, little pathways where large creatures had walked through. Maybe the giants in the other room were on a, you know, a shift where they would guard this room and then guard that. I want to look up, too. What can I see from here? A, can I see anything up there? And B, how high does it go?

From this portion, the ceiling looks to be 40 feet above you. Now that you're deeper in, you can see a little bit more of the room as well, especially Metra. And she can shout out to you to tell you what you see. Oh, okay. Well, it looks similar to the other one. Is that the ledge?

That looks like it. Oh, is the ledge going up? You see another ledge. Well, Metra sees another ledge going up. It's almost identical to the room you were just in. So we're in a pit. But now we're in the pit. But now you're in the pit. And it's covered with bones.

And it's difficult to read. Can I roll a perception and see if I hear anything approaching? Sure. Me too. Me too. 32. 27. Sure. Me too. Me too. 32. 27. 37.

Nothing. Want to blow the Drake's Bane horn and see if anyone comes running? No, because if we're going to fight, we should do it on difficult terrain. Yes, that's what I always say. Drives away Drakes and certain dragons of lower than X number of hit dice

and draws in the big badasses yeah i'm sure we're past any dragons of those baron pulls out baron pulls out the drake's bane horn and snaps it over his knee never blow geography or go to hell all right you might want to summon a dragon i'm gonna pop up north to see if I can find the way out. You pop up north again, and you see that same staggering view of the Mind Spins and all the giant camps. And then I go... And I do an imitation of the Drake's Band horn. I'm kidding.

A little jazz solo on the Drake's Band horn. I've never stared more darts into Matthew in my life. Should we look at the top of the crater, for lack of a better term? The crevasse? The half pipe that Tony Hawk would do his sweet 360s on? Do a sweet rail slide here on the top. Fishbone, fakie, lefty. Fun fact.

Joe showed us his Tony Hawk moves at a green room. Oh, that was right. Was that in Seattle or was that in Indy? Seattle. Seattle. I was really underwhelmed. Oh, right. With Joe's moves?

Yeah. I needed some time to remember. On the video game. That level is phenomenal. On the video game, the Tony Hawk. Yeah, so I wasn't actually doing rail slides at Seattle. No, was he Indy? I thought it was Indianapolis. It was Indy, he's right. They had the N64

backstage, right? Oh, that's right, it was Indy. It was? Yeah, because Matthew was fucking killing us all on GoldenEye. He remembered all the fucking levels. It was the first time in my life I was better at any of these people at video games. It was ridiculous. He was odd job. I just got to watch.

I was Siberian Special Forces. As soon as I saw Oddjob being picked, I knew that this was an unsanctioned match I wanted no part of. So I just sat back and watched the shenanigans. I believe Troy picked Oddjob. I probably did. Oh, that's okay. That makes more sense.

All right. So you want to check out these, you know, what's going on at the upper level. Could Dalgrith climb up there, like, stealthily? Yeah. And then just peek over the edge before any of our heads pop over it? Just to see if we're all stealthy. I love it. Oh, there we go.

Come on, strike team. Babe, babe, that was a 39. 39. All right, so you just stealthily Peek up and you see Another nest Holy crap So many dragons I guess they need a lot of space because they're large

Alright Metro will climb up as well Baron will join Alright so Metro you climb up and you are able to See deeper Into the nest And it appears to just stretch on you know a hundred or so feet

into your vision and just end at a rock wall uh detect magic oh I don't like this around the first 60 feet nothing I'll slowly advance keep detecting magic escorted by Jimmer

nothing what is going on Troy just tell us what's going on Keep detecting magic. Escorted by Jimmer. Nothing. Dogwrith behind Jimmer. What is going on, Troy? Just tell us what's going on. What's the fucking deal, man? Seriously, what's the story? What's in the cave? Can we do a perception on the...

Are these bones again? Oh, yeah, lots of bones. I'll do a perception there as well. Are these all, like, separate... 35. Cells? Separate caves for each dragon? Yeah, like Jimmer said.

Hamster cages. Hamster cages. All their different cages. Nothing. Nothing of them. They're growing baby dragons. Can we count the number of... The interesting point,

if they are cells or little cages, we've gone through three or four of them and we've fought five. So if we go any further than that chances are it could be someone else's and and be occupied that's what i'm worried about yeah it's gonna be occupied eventually right occupied is there any uh is there any uh zoom out zoom out on the map it's yeah i know it's insane i thought you were bluffing with the size of this map And then it turns out you weren't

Are there any droppings? Um Yeah, you see dragon droppings Dragon droppings Um DDs Alright, if we head along the rim of the crater and down south Is there anything down that way?

Sure is, Matthew Captain Oh my god You keep going down And you see a couple things. Why don't you actually move your character over there? I was trying to avoid that. Instead of playing chicken with me. You see another nest stretching towards the south

and another tunnel leading off towards the southwest. All right. Okay, so the southwest tunnel looks like, if I zoom out on the map in metagame, but with Baron's incredible dengeneering skills, it looks like those two tunnels might be destined to link to one another. Yeah.

So let's, why don't we follow it? Okay. Follow it. Detect magic on the nest as we go. Nothing at all. Perception on the nest, 28. Nothing. All right.

I don't like it, man. I would like to do a heal check and take 20 to piece together whole skeletons of any and all creatures that were killed and whose bones lie here. So I would like to devote the next 20 years of my life to this project. He's retiring now. Forensic anthropologist. This is Jimmer. This has been Jimmer's dream. They shall make a television show about him, and they shall call it Bones.

Imagine they probably just flew out out the cave mouths Went hunting And brought their quarry back here Tore it apart, left the bones Went out there, stole coins Dropped it here in their lair Being a dragon Sounds awesome All we need now is a teen heartthrob

To be his partner from the FBI Oh, that's right I met her And a sister for him heartthrob to be his partner from the FBI. Oh, that's right. I met her. And a sister for him. To be dismissive of future podcasters. This is a lot of Bones material right now. I don't think most people...

I just merged the Bones universe with Skids of Life. It's a multiverse at this point. It's a Bones merge. Classic Bones merge. It's a multiverse at this point It's a bones merge I can't wait for classic bones merge Mid-app bones merge That's right What do you do? Down the tunnel?

Yep Yep Let's do it Party order What are you guys doing? Dog Wraith will stealth ahead to try to recon Jamer will be at the head

of the group behind Dalgrith Human centipede number two Stealth and perception Did you guys move Thune by the way? Yes Stealth is 34.

Okay. And then perception is 28. Okay. You zip along there, and you do see, once you get halfway down the tunnel, that another 60 feet or so, the tunnel opens up into a larger room. Oh, man, so many rooms. You're no longer on difficult terrain. Seems Baron was wrong.

I don't know. You don't know that yet. I don't know it yet. I think Baron is like Aristotle. He's mostly wrong about things. Every step you take, it's feeling warmer and warmer. There's an intense warmth coming from the end of the hallway. Is it like a homey, like a Christmas Eve?

Around the fire? Kind of warm Christmas Eve, like a hearth? Yeah, like a hearth, or is it more like a murderous, burn people alive kind of warmth? It's not nice. Oh, by the way, I was listening to Dan Carlin's Hardcore History. Oh, the new one. Well, no. The Fire in the East.

No, I was listening to a slightly older one, the Celtic Holocaustocaust oh right they talked about the celts and some of their like druidic like customs and stuff like that yeah and one of the things that they would do is they would straight up build these giant wicker men oh yeah oh yeah put people in them yeah prisoners and stuff like that you ever seen whatever and then burn them alive you ever seen wicker man no any of them Oh, yeah. And then put people in them. Yep. Prisoners and stuff like that. Slaves or whatever. And then burn them alive. You ever seen Wicker Man?

No. Any of them? I never saw. Two of them? The original one's pretty good. The Edward Woodward. That's based around that tradition. That whole tradition. Yeah.

I just never knew what we did in Giant Slayer was based on actual fact. Oh, yeah. No, it totally is. Of barbarian tribes. Yeah. As a means of complimenting your segue, you were like, is it the kind of, like, burn you alive fire?

Oh, speaking of which... My buddy was burned alive last week. Burned alive? Three people last week? You guys remember Jerry? Yes, he died. He's dead. Oh, he was burned alive.

Unfortunately, he could not withstand the temperatures. We call him Crispy Jerry. Yeah, his skin kind of... It gave way for the flames. Alright, so it seems to bend around at the south, kind of. Opens up to the south. And there's nothing of interest on either wall of this cave

system tunnel. Alright, so he'll get to the edge of it. Stealth and then peek around. See what he sees. Alright, so you peek around and what'd you roll for stealth? 27 stealth, 29 perception. It really opens up, but now the heat is intense

and you can hear in the distance like... What is it, Troy? Is it lava? That's what you hear. Is it a forge? Lava. I'm trying to do the sound effects, man. I had a friend in high school who insisted, it was like a long con on his part, that he pronounced the word volcano, volcano.

Volcano? Yeah. And he would just insist upon it as if he was like, how do you guys not know this? It's the British pronunciation. That's what I've been thinking about every map volcano this volcano like this like adidas it sounds yeah it sounds totally or vitamin like it sounds totally reasonable yeah really no you're full of shit and he's like no that's just how it's pronounced in the movie movie Joe versus the volcano? Have you ever seen it? What do you do? I'm going to assume it's a volcano.

A volcano? A volcano. Classic volcano. All right. I'll edge up as well. Goddamn, man. Come on. I hate all these large empty rooms.

What can I see? That's a metro. You can see a lot more where you are. Yeah, Ken. You see to the north. I thought you weren't playing the teenage daughter anymore. You can see that to the north

west passage goes up. Looks like the tunnels do connect you asshole easy it's not always a personal attack Merry Christmas everyone and it just keeps going

deeper and you hear that same bubbling sound from deeper within and just feel heat blasting your face. I'll edge out into the room to see if I can see any more. All right, so you come in just a little bit more. Just a bit outside. You can see now the edges of the room, but no source of the bubbling.

I can do a perception check on the room, looking up, looking around, looking at the walls, see if I see anything out of the ordinary. 22. Terrible roll. 22. No, you don't see anything. Does the bubbling seem like it's coming from One general direction? Deeper within the room South?

Alright Shall we? Let's do it Let's do it Lead the way We'll take a few Step forward, you know, another 20 feet or so 30 feet

Okay Step forward another 20, 30 feet And 30 feet. Okay. Step forward another 20, 30 feet, and... Again, no source of this sound. Well, can I see that the tunnels connect to the northwest? Yes, if you look up to the northwest with the extent of your vision, you can see that, yeah, had you just come this way from that first cavern, you could have got here as well.

And you think to yourself, perhaps those two other dragons were roosting in this second room and came flying out and around. Oh, like, because there was two out... Yeah, got it. Shall we proceed deeper? Deeper, yes.

Let's go. All right, keep going okay you all on metros q move forward and now you see the source of this sound. The air shimmers over a wide pool of magma that fills the southern half of this immense oblong cavern. Looks to be roughly 60 feet wide. Bubbling magma casting a reddish-orange light across the smooth walls of this otherwise dark chamber. Can we see the walls on the east and west? Like, there's nothing we're missing those ways, right? Yeah, no, you can see the extent of the walls to the east and west. All right, we'll edge a little further, a little closer to the magma.

Closer to the magma closer to the magma abe is gonna be so happy is it abe yeah this is really uh this is dangerous it's actually pronounced it's actually closer like a former prime minister of japan um yeah you see more of this magma pit but you still don't see the end of the room. I mean, look how huge this is. Is there... Current primary? It's still 120 feet away, or basically 100 feet from the edge of the magma pit.

Are there any paths we haven't taken yet? As far as you know, no. Did we look for secret doors doors no nowhere baron never looks baron never looks for those uh i'll do a quick look uh 34 secret doors dc 35 um so uh there is some degree in adriel's understanding of his backstory if he's not here i know he's not here. So, there's some evidence of Wyvern and dragon involvement in Ashpeak lines. Is there anything that Baron's learned, either through visions or throughout any of the kind of historical documents he's seen that would lead him to know, like, what magma might be used for,

if this was, like, a place the Ashpeaks lived instead of next to or like dragon involvement like is there anything in the history that would like give us some hints of what's ahead before we go headlong into death no no you really don't know okay i mean you you would think that for magma to be here that they would have had to mine all the way through to the core of the volcano to create this this a pool of this size so maybe it was purposefully done or maybe it was just a remnant of the way things were long ago okay but what the room's being used for it you can't quite tell um baron's gonna walk up directly to metra and just scan through detect alignment 60 feet in front of him just to see if anything i'm chaotic i know i could have just told you yeah didn't have to be weird about it that's so rude you didn't have

to do a ritualistic are you wearing secret antiperspirant strong enough for nothing nothing yeah you're just like to take magic staring at your hands soaking wet with sweat it's such a big room it almost doesn't matter where we do no no magic i mean you can see 60 feet around you you don't see anything is there a path around the magma uh there appears to be to both uh the left and the right of it. Dalgrith will point this out to Jimmer. Seems to be a wide enough berth around, don't you think? Let's see what's on the other side.

Yeah, I'm definitely curious to see what's over there. Are we at all concerned about any kind of environmental harm from the lava? Is it that hot? Lava's not that hot. Despite popular theory, lava's not really that hot. First off, it's magma. People think it's, like, super hot, but it's like, you get close, it's like, eh, you could eat this. Oh, my God.

700 degrees Celsius to 1 1300 degrees celsius holy you don't want to go swimming in it but even just walking that close to it are we concerned at all about like the air being hot enough to burn us or cook us um perhaps roll a knowledge nature check i don't have that uh you feel really hot that's for sure 17 Yeah maybe Right now you feel really hot Alright come closer And Metro's gonna cast Protection from Energy Communal

Nice Wow really Just in case That's astounding And you chose electricity, right? Yeah. Okay, perfect. As you know.

And what does that give you? So basically we have 140 minutes to disperse amongst the five of us, and that gives us protection from energy for fire. Okay. For how many points of it? It's not like a threshold. No, it's 120 points. Oh, I thought it was time limit.

It's 120 total points? Yeah, well, it's 10 minutes per level, so I have 140 minutes to disperse amongst the five of us, and it's 120 points. But you don't disperse the points? Everybody gets 120 points? Yeah, everyone gets the points. Oh, great.

Just in case. All right, so you have 120 points of protection against fire. Half hour each, roughly. Okay. What do you roll a 4 to, you'd say? Oh, boy. Everyone? Yeah, I wonder if this is Endora Elements as opposed to...

Yeah, maybe. Fire. Thune will roll as well. 17 for Dalgrith. Okay. Metra? 14. Fail.

Jimmer? 21. Pass. Thune failed. And Baron? 36. Woo! That's all right.

Metra, you take three points of non-lethal damage, and Thune takes four points of non-lethal damage, and Thune takes four points of non-lethal damage as the severe heat in the room is starting to get to you. Yeah, it's indoor elements. I'm assuming you don't have that. I don't have that. All right. Well, let's move quickly then.

It doesn't hurt, though, having Protector from Energy Fire. No. Regardless. Certainly not walking around a pit of magma. Yeah. All right, let's move quickly then. It doesn't hurt, though, having... Protector from Energy Fire. No. Regardless. Certainly not walking around a pit of magma. Yeah. All right, let's go. Let's go. All right.

To the left? To the left. Four points on lethal, you said? To the right. Doesn't matter to me. Yeah, four points and none. To the left, to the left. No, three for you, four for Thune.

How do I apply... How do I apply that on hero? The non-lethal part? Yeah, just take damage and hit him. Oh, right. Duh. All right, let's do this. Let's do this.

Oh, man, this is so freaking dangerous. We're walking. We have a wall on one side, and about 30 feet away is a full boiling huge pit of magma. Magma. Magma. Magma. All right, let's rock. Let's do it.

Keep walking? Yeah. All right, show me where you want to go. All right, that should be enough for Metro to see the rest of the room. Oh, so we're done here? Are we done here? We're done here. You see that the 60 foot wide pit

of magma is probably 80 feet long as well as its longest point and behind it couched against the southern wall is a huge pile of treasure. No way.

How is it not on fire? Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my God. The mother load. Everybody roll a perception check. Oh, no. Who's protecting it, though?

Who's going to drop us into the magma? 32. Come on, OB. 31. 24. 40. Oh, bear, bear, on, OB. 31. Bear. 40. Oh, bear, bear, bear, bear. You don't surprise the bear.

Grant used jazz hands to illustrate that number. I've never been so proud. I'm feeling saucy like Bob Fosse. All of you. Oh, no. And Thune here digging. To the left and to the right of you. Oh, no! And Thun, here digging. To the left and to the right of you. Oh, shit.

Tunneling! More elementals. And you see on the ground large holes start to form. And things starting to come out of it. No way! And when I say things, what you actually see are like glowing hot plates of iron covering the head of some sort of immense primordial looking fish.

Lava spilling from between its jagged teeth. What? They show up. They are as big as a giant and they show up on either side of you, the party. But at that moment, out of nowhere above the magma, you hear a roar erupt, and you look, and you see nothing

except a huge wave of fire cover the whole party. Oh, my God. And we'll see you next party. Oh my god! And we'll see you next week. Oh my god! Oh my god! Merry Christmas, everybody! No! No! the glass cannon podcast is a glass cannon network production and is an officially licensed

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