The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 245 - House of Guards
Episode Date: February 4, 2020After uncovering some high level intel, the heroes continue their search for Jimmer and Thoon. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Nai...sh, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. scour the mountain for their missing friends. The problem is we have absolutely zero intelligence in a massive, massive enemy complex.
We have literally no idea where they might be being held.
But their search may be in vain.
Jimmer and Thun are needles in a haystack.
You just have no idea.
Will this be the moment?
It's a combination of wanting to find Jimmer and Thun
as soon as possible before they're killed, but also
using the distraction
of the battle to strike
back. This is really
legit right here. We are into some
shit right now. The adventure
continues now. Hello out there.
Matthew here.
Hope everyone enjoyed the first Androids and Aliens Live.
Thanks to everyone who tuned in.
Just want to let you all know, in case you're wondering, we'll be back live on February 14th.
Yes, that's right.
You can spend St. Valentine's Day watching a bunch of nerds pretend to explore the galaxy.
If that's not an expression of love, I don't know what is.
Also, I heard a rumor that there's some
new merchandise in the store. A brand new hat,
a new t-shirt, the DC Glass Cannon
Live poster, and
I'm told that all sizes of the Glass Cannon
Network hoodie are back in stock.
And speaking of Glass Cannon Live, there's only a handful
of tickets left for our Boston show
on February 28th during PAX
East, so get them while they last.
Can't wait to see everyone there.
I'm excited.
I think it's going to be a good time.
I think you'll have a good time if you come.
As soon as you come.
If you can get a ticket, because I hear they're going fast.
Alrighty.
I've blathered on long enough.
So please enjoy episode 245.
You know, I wanted to email you guys about this during the week,
but every time I started to write the email, I'm like,
first of all, I didn't know how I wanted to word it,
because I didn't want to word it in a way that was going to say too much,
which I always feel like I do when I just speak off the cuff.
But the reason I finally decided not to send the emails i thought
let's talk about it on air because i think it's a very interesting point you are in the story right
now before the fight with the dragon everything was kind of going uh you know for lack of a better
phrase according to plan you were kicking ass in ashby we were moving on up. Moving on up to the rookery side.
I mean, you really, everything in your path.
You know, there were some complications here and there,
but for the most part, smash city.
So much so that when you got to this next level
after you ascended the great stair,
you weren't even going into rooms.
You were like, let's just scout.
Why waste time getting into fights that we know we're like let's just let's just scout why waste time
getting into fights that we know we're gonna win uh let's just scout let's keep going ahead and
uh you know i think at a certain point as you were approaching the rookery you were thinking
maybe skid you even said as as skid not as jimmer that like you felt like this was the way you were
supposed to go that like this is the end is in sight this way and when in fact this was the way you were supposed to go, that the end is in sight this way.
And when, in fact, it was the dragon rookery,
which you now know requisitions were being sent there,
but I don't want to get too ahead of myself.
You go there, and you think six, maybe five dragons
will be a fight for you guys.
I was going to say, it's basically,
correct me if I'm wrong here,
but from the information we gleaned last episode it's kind of like the most dangerous uh uh god like
the um the crows right what do they send who the birds that fly i'm i'm an idiot right now
pigeons carrier pigeons right it's like i'm totally blind the birds that fly
come on help me here the birds that fly it's like carrier pigeon i was just gonna say it's like the
most passenger pigeon it's just the most dangerous pigeon cage of all time right right oh like you
know and that's all it was used for was sending messages? It's like a regular pigeon cage, but it's Mike Tyson's pigeon cage.
So you try to take one and it comes up.
No, Raven.
That's what it was.
Raven.
Oh, Raven.
Ravens.
Well, that is a rookery.
That's a rookery.
Right, exactly.
It's like the most dangerous messenger raven cage of all time.
Yeah, yeah.
Right.
But even when faced with five dragons and a couple fire giants, you kicked ass.
But then the mighty Tesseract, she, I mean, you had no chance.
No chance.
We would have had a chance if we could have seen her.
But we couldn't see her.
Sure, sure.
That made all the difference.
Yeah, that would have certainly helped.
But she was leveling out massive damage and also had crazy magic on top of it.
Yeah, she had a really great CMD, too.
I mean, I think I failed with like a 39 or a 40 to jump on.
Oh, yeah.
It's tough.
And that changed everything.
So then you're taken outside the camps, forced to surrender.
Either Baron would have died or maybe the rest of you with him.
You're forced to surrender.
You're captured. And then you have to face an old nemesis.
But not only that, Jimmer and Thun are taken.
We now know what happened outside the camp.
You're able to survive that, and you get back in here, and you're looking for Jimmer and Thun,
while the dwarves of Kragadan are being burnt to ashes outside.
are being burnt to ashes outside.
And the giant camp,
although seeing you defeat Skirkotla and the Doolahan,
is reinvigorated by their leader, the great Volstis,
just wiping out an entire army in a few fell swoops.
But now, and this is what I wanted to talk to you about,
Jimmer and Thun are needles in a haystack you were just outside this mountain if i have not
impressed upon you the size of this mountain i mean it's just it's a fucking volcano it's huge
now you know as you've been going along there's been a couple couple forks in the road here
there but i mean what's to say jimmer and thun aren't uh downstairs on the first floor
past where you collapse the ceiling or down in the barracks or in a room that you didn't go to you just have no idea so what is going through your minds as
players and what is going through your character's minds oh and on top of that you have a murderer
traveling along with you well i don't know that i don't know that. I don't know that either. Right. You know it.
I don't know.
I'm sure Baron is.
Oh, right.
You talked about us talking about it.
I talked about us talking about it.
Yeah.
That's right.
I forgot.
You've never seen him murder someone in person.
But you trust Baron.
So, I mean, what is the plan here?
I mean, from my character's perspective, I can't see her doing anything but trying with all effort to find Jimmer and Thune.
Right.
Yeah.
I mean, that's where Dalgrith is.
I loved having this, like, so clear of purpose.
I also liked having, for the first time, a ticking clock in this mountain, which we haven't had yet.
We've just been kind of, like like working our way so calmly through everything.
And now it feels like it's a combination of wanting to find Jimmer and Thun
as soon as possible before they're killed,
but also using the distraction of the battle to advance our way through.
And even if it's not finding Jimmer and Thun,
it could be, you know, sneaking into a place where this king is
and stabbing him in the
back we can do that right so i mean these are the things that is going through dog race had used
this battle this distraction to scout as much as possible right now the problem is we have
absolutely zero intelligence in a massive massive enemy complex we have no literally no idea where
they might be be being held you just got a lot of great
intelligence about these other giants that may or may not be in this iron cloud keep you got some
intelligence about what volsus's plans are to wipe out uh all of galarian starting with belkson and
then spreading out from there to near mithas and malthoon i mean so you've got some intelligence
but you know nothing about the king we don't know where the man we don't know anything about this
mountain except for what we've explored it we don't know anything about this mountain except for what we've explored.
We don't know anything about where they might take prisoners.
Yeah.
And I don't think Dalgrith has the presence of mind in this moment to put it together,
but it is so important, so insanely important that we don't die in here with that intelligence.
Yeah.
Like that needs to be posted to Lastwall immediately.
Yeah. I mean mean we could do that
right i'm just saying dahlgrath doesn't think of that he doesn't say anything why not because he's
so focused on jimmer and thun and also finding this king he just wants to kill giants right now
but i think you would also be faced with a plan a plan for global domination you might be like
oh we should get that to those people.
Well, Talgrith never thinks he's going to die.
Well, I mean,
Beren wanted to get information out before,
particularly about Sir Will's whereabouts,
and wanted to send it to Highbury and other places.
How did we do that in the past?
How did we get the information out?
Did we have more skills? We sent dragons.
We sent...
We tied it to a dragon's leg.
Go down to the dragon mail room.
I believe we sent ravens from Skelton.
It was the last time we did that.
I think so, yeah.
That sounds right.
The easiest thing to do would be to pop back to Shrew now.
Last message.
Things are great.
We just killed Earth, Ash.
I think the threat has been neutralized.
That's the last they've heard of us.
We'll send them another message in two weeks if you don't hear from us and assume we're dead.
Lower your defenses, Galarian.
Everything's fine. Mission celebrating true now they have the banner from like episode 50
back up episode 30 maybe back up
oh that's so good.
I mean, we could, though, teleport immediately to True Now,
deliver those plans to Halgra and tell her to spread the word throughout Bulxen
and then pop back in and continue our mission.
Do we tell Halgra about the last people we told about our plan and Kragadan
and how they all just got murdered for knowing it?
Or do we keep that to ourselves?
They didn't get murdered for knowing it.
They got murdered for bringing their army
to the mountainside.
Okay.
It's bold.
It's a bold move.
It's a bold move.
But it didn't pay off.
In the end.
It's all thanks to your attorney-ing
inside that courtroom.
That's right.
That's right.
Well, I think nester is he could not possibly care less about jim and thune obviously and the way he the whole reason that
he's ended up here is because he feels like the you know he thought that he would be he could take
out uh what's his name at the cathedral of minter hall or a thash he could take out, what's his name at the Cathedral of Miner Hall?
Urathash.
Yeah, take out Urathash and then be done with it.
But the storm tyrant had other ideas and wanted to take revenge for that act.
So he has been harried and harassed everywhere he's gone since that happened and he wants to stop
that from happening it feels like the only way to do that is to cut off the threat at the source
and the storm tyrant like that's it like if he knows that if he doesn't do that like he'll never
have another moment's peace for as long as he lives so he really just wants to go now that he's
seen him and now we have a better idea of like how to
get to him like he wants to pursue that but he also like wouldn't be completely opposed to taking
out the king here in order to weaken the storm tyrant first um but he certainly doesn't care
about jimmer orthon is this the best intel you've had i mean seeing him swoop down on this is this the hottest
you've ever been it's the first time yeah yeah i mean it's the first he's seen him certainly so
yeah okay so but he's also not stupid so he's like all right he's willing to he's not gonna
run out there not anymore anyway he was last week he's not gonna run out there and just try to say, no, let me at him. One-on-one.
Fists.
I mean, I guess we could say it probably would stand to reason that if we were to teleport away to rest, we should go to Trunel.
Wow.
Right?
Rather than the cathedral.
Is Metra saying this bullshit out loud no that i don't think that i don't think
i don't think that would be a metro thing metra scale like neutral but as the sheriff of true now
i'm sure the safety of true now would come up oh grant's so pissed he hates what matthew does this
i don't know if he's listening to me He's tuning you out
Was someone talking?
Yeah I mean I'm happy to go back
And check in with them
It's just
I just wish there was a scholar
That we could go and take this information to
And have them help us
Give better plans
I mean shit man The knights of osm i mean
the knights of osm i suppose but they're kind of busy right now with the uh the horde of undead
emerging through the the war wound aren't they uh yeah i mean or is that is that still happening
is this timeline what it didn't we face it down when we were up at... Me and Jimmer were there.
Yeah, it's safe to say that, like, you know,
the armies of the undead are still wreaking havoc.
Oh, oh, oh, right, right.
Or have taken over certain areas, yeah.
But, you know, the battle is probably still going on.
It's probably a long battle.
They've maybe taken over some areas.
Obviously, they've taken over Highbury,
burned it to the ground.
Maybe they're living amongst the ashes of that city.
But the Knights of Ozum are probably doing their best to combat them and push them into the world.
Who knows?
So, I mean, I feel like, I agree joe and that metro would also feel like
this is our moment like we we have the ticking clock of their jimmer and thunes impending death
and also it seems that most of the giants are out on the battlefield
there's no better time than now we should we should move perhaps a little bit more hastily. Let's burn the intelligence and find Jimmer.
All right.
We all know him.
The intelligence ties with us.
The line must be drawn here.
Here.
Draw the line here.
This far.
No further.
No further.
Jimmer said that.
That's so sad
he did
he did
it was a great moment
oh yeah
oh yeah
look at that
there is also
just skin wants to leave
Jimmer
I don't care about
Nestor doesn't care about
Jimmer
I don't care about Jimmer
see that's how you role play
now that's role play
it's called method
I was watching that scene
on extras
where
he explains to ricky
gervais how to act sir ian sir ian sir ian sir ian sir ian sir ian sir ian sir ian sir ian sir ian
uh so i think there's also no scripts no scripts on the night
there's a ton going on right now
there's a ton going on right now uh in terms of outward action inward action baron almost dying
nester popping up but i think there's also uh something that's been sinking into baron as we've
been going on through here it's the same thing that baron thought when he walked into nargrim
steel hands tomb and he said one day i'd like to be a great dwarven hero like this i'd like Baron as we've been going on through here it's the same thing that Baron thought when he walked into Nargrim Steelhand's tomb
and he said one day I'd like to be
a great dwarven hero like this I'd like a
tomb of great esteem
worthy of a hero
and I'd like to be a hero worthy of such a place
and now that he's in Ashbeak he's saying
damn it
I don't know exactly why I don't know
everything about my
lineage but I feel like this is my effing mountain.
And so there's a part of Baron that just wants to kill Tytarian.
You want to take it back.
Take it back.
You want to take it back for the Ashen.
Take them all back.
See this mountain?
This is my mountain.
I am the king now.
And I'm taking it back.
So yeah, I think at the very least
if it's if it's
if it's
if it's not
necessarily stabbing a knife in his back right now
it's getting to be familiar
with where we think his throne room
is or if whatever the equivalent
is so we can teleport back there
and kill him. Right. Certainly want to find out where
you know who knows where Jimmer and Thun are?
The king, probably. Yeah.
I'm guessing he'd be reluctant to tell us.
Right. I'll tell you, but you
must answer my riddle.
Ooh, I love riddles. I wasn't expecting
this. I'm proud of the king.
Real curveball.
Real Paizo curveball.
The king is a sphinx.
That would be fun.
I'll give you back your mountain, Ashpeak, if you answer my riddle of three.
What is your name?
What walks during the day and is dead at night?
Then he kills you.
Well, I guess we don't have to record
the next ten episodes.
That's what's going to happen.
All right.
So you're thinking,
press on with all haste.
With all haste.
And just see what you can see.
You're in this room here
where you found maps,
crudely drawn maps
of what the Storm Tyrant's plans are
as well as requisitions
for Ironcloud Keep,
names of giant commanders.
I think I said there was a cloud giant,
a taiga giant, and an ash giant.
All higher-ups in Volsus's army.
Maybe even higher than the king.
Huh, right.
Who knows?
But you have information now.
Yeah, among these most important of officers, the king has right who knows but you have information yeah among these most important of
officers the king has not been mentioned no no it's interesting to note and it's i've heard
taiga giants i believe show up in rune lord rise of the rune lords i'm trying to remember what
what their deal you guys fought one taiga giant you know who who was the Taiga Giant? Who? I'm not a scientist. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's her name?
Gristlecrack.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's right.
The one that cut off Lork's fate.
Right.
And there might have been another one.
I feel like the one that you fought a giant.
I don't know if that was a Taiga Giant.
No, I'm taking it back.
I'm taking them all back.
Just keep saying that.
Anyways, Gristlecrack was a
Taiga giant.
So you've got this information.
You've got names. I'll read the names to you again
because if you ever come in contact
with these people, you're going to be like, alright,
we've cut one head off the snake.
Nalbur.
Nalbur's
twin sister, Nalbia.
Sirdasa and Ulcroft
what do you want to do
there's four doors leading out of this room
and of course the tunnel continued
on west there's also a
north tunnel out of this room that you would
assume connects with that
tunnel that you're over there
wait can we check out these doors might be cool stuff in here tunnel out of this room that you would assume connects with that tunnel. That's where Doc is, and he's moving toward that.
Wait, can we check out these doors? Might be cool stuff
in here. True. I'm not looking for
cool stuff, Metro.
Metro didn't say cool stuff. I'd like to find some cool
stuff.
You guys are coming down great.
You didn't pass up cool stuff when you were down in the
vaults of Penumbria. Alright, let's open
the door, the southwest door. Alright, Metro
opens the southwest door. Southwest door, Metro opens the southwest door.
Southwest door, you just open it right up?
Yep.
Yeah, I think we're going fast, too, through these.
This is a room that was filled with intelligence.
It stands a room.
There may be, like, records or archives or something,
so Baron's down with it.
Or perhaps a plan of the mountain.
Oh.
It looks like a bedroom.
Yeah, it looks like officer's quarters.
Perception check. Search the room um uh yeah go ahead 37 nothing next room next room's locked um but if you go through the keys that you found throughout
your time here you're able to unlock it. It's another room.
You found a key.
Similar to the one you just saw, but much smaller.
Again, just looks like officer's quarters, neatly appointed.
I said last week that that big room that you walked into had decorative furnishings.
Officer's mess or something?
Yeah.
So are these all the lieutenants we killed
before? Like the leaders? Possibly.
It looks like they left in a hurry. Now they may have left
in a hurry to come fight you on the
Great Stare. Remember there was that
second wave of giants that came
from the north? They may have left in a hurry to
see what was going on outside when the
giants were fighting the dwarves.
They may have left in a hurry to go
down the hallway you've yet to explore.
You don't know.
25, my perception of this room.
36 for...
Yeah, it's empty.
The officers did not leave anything in that room either.
Next door?
Next door, nothing.
And I'll tell you right now, you keep going.
The other two rooms, similar size, nothing in either of them.
All right.
All right.
Onward.
Keep moving forward to the west.
Okay.
All right, so what's the plan?
Dogwrith goes out of that new northern passage
that seems to link up.
Northwest passage.
Yeah, the northwest passage.
The fabled northwest passage.
You head out there, and sure enough, it just keeps going to the west, seems to be.
And sort of south.
South, yeah, it's climbing down, but you feel as if you're ascending as well, the farther you go down the tunnel.
Okay, so he'll keep going as stealthily as possible.
Okay.
Quick stealth check. Wow wow was that a two that's a natural two oh that's very low joe but with your bonus 25 25
every step you take it's getting darker and darker oh man. And colder. Colder?
While we were ascending.
You're ascending.
Interesting.
And it's getting colder.
It was getting hotter in the other direction.
Hotter and hotter and hotter.
Maybe it was those, what you called the forges or the smelt works or whatever that was creating all that heat that was filling the chamber.
But as you walk away from that, it's getting colder.
Is it because you're walking away from the heat that it's getting colder?
Or is it because something ahead of you is producing this cold?
Interesting.
I do not know, but it is dark.
It is pitch dark.
All of you have some means of dark vision, right?
I think Nestor even has those, uh, eyes of the eagle or what are they?
Does Nestor have the ability to see in the dark?
Uh, no, I actually don't.
Oh.
Yeah.
Pembroke did.
That's right. Pembroke had those goggles. The goggles. Jimmer inherited the goggles. Yeah, Jim actually don't. You don't? Pembroke did. That's right.
Pembroke had those goggles.
The goggles.
Jimmer inherited the goggles.
Yeah, Jimmer has them.
Yeah, Jimmer inherited them after Pembroke passed.
I have the Eyes of the Eagle.
I have.
And they ate in perception checks.
All right, so it is pitch dark down here.
Yeah.
Nestor's not going to be able to go.
I have the Spell Dark version.
Okay. Would you like to see? Oh, yeah. No, go. I have the Spell Dark version. Okay.
Would you like to see?
Oh, yeah.
No, love, that would be lovely.
Thank you.
And Metro will place her hand straight onto Nestor's face, like a space palm.
Like a faith healer.
I can see!
It's a miracle!
Is that Jimmer?
And then we'll continue down this long-ass passage.
You have darkvision for a number of hours.
Let's see.
It's one hour.
One hour per level.
One hour per level.
Awesome.
Wow.
Thank you.
You got to dispel that when he needs to go to bed.
Yeah.
Well, he can just close his eyes.
No.
But see the inside of my eyelids.
I think, and Baron's just kind of walking begrudgingly
but in lockstep with nester just looking up at him every once in a while still feeling you know
terrible feelings towards this man and not saying anything uh you're kind of like just i think it's
let it lie right i think the thing that's not the time that we might just, I think it's, let it lie right now. I think the thing that, that we might be exactly,
it's,
it's this ticking clock.
It's the urgency of trying to find where the leader is.
It's,
it's not letting us have that moment right now.
So as much as this is taking real time,
some time for us to go this way,
I think this is happening very fast,
very quickly.
There has been no moment in which to truly address the situation.
But as we're walking,
Nestor,
like look,
glances over and winks at Baron.
I guess he's next to him.
Here we go.
I think we're going to find a moment now.
You know, in all this hubbub of looking for Jimmer and Thun,
let it also be mentioned that Baron's guns are gone.
Right.
But Del is back with a weird spidery thing on top
that I'm not entirely sure what it does.
Itsy bitsy spider.
Oh, God.
That's a gift from me to you.
Can you put it on, Della?
That's the even creepiest part about it.
Oh, no, it's perfect, isn't it?
It always seems like our journeys start with you locked up in a cage,
except this time you already undid lock.
Yeah. Well, this time I had my
little trusty pick.
It wasn't there last time.
Well, how many
cages have you gotten yourself out of?
Oh, if I could count, it would be
a lot. Only joking.
It's about 40.
Keep going. Push forward. joking it's about 40 uh keep going push forward into the next map metra baron and nester coin do in fact push forward to the next man i can't believe how
how big this is and how many maps there are. This is lunacy.
Just see if you left any notes on the next map, like, this is where Jimmer is.
Oh, a double door.
So we come to a door?
You keep walking down that hallway in the darkness,
and you see up ahead a set of metal double doors. Carved into the
doors are images of giants conquering lesser races. Big metal doors. The hallway ends.
Carved directly into the rock.
The big fans are carving their victories into these doors and walls, aren't they, Baron?
They are, but their craftsmanship
leads something to be desired,
don't you think, Dalgrith?
It does.
I was just thinking the same thing.
I also think they're getting a little too cocky.
They think it's going to be easy for them.
We're not going to make it so easy.
He comes up to the door and attempts to open it.
It's locked.
Any of the keys?
Blast!
Hammers his fist against it.
Jimmer!
Screams down the hallway.
No, not really.
You hear Jimmer.
What?
I'm eating!
Right on the other side of that door.
Occupied!
It's one of those doors on an airplane where you just slide the metal thing over and push in
but there's like someone who forgot to slide it all the way closed and then you press on it and
now you're the jerk sounds like an experience it's very specific true story now you're the
jerk you're the one who's supposed to secure the door you gotta lock that door if you're in there
you gotta lock that fucking door. The lights don't even turn
on on most airplanes if you don't lock it, so I don't
know why you're pooping in the dark, and now I'm the
jerk for pushing the door in. No, you're the
jerk for not locking it. Thank you. Yeah.
Jerk.
So it's locked.
A lock killed my mother.
You try all the keys.
Try all the keys. Nothing seems
to work.
Let me try a cracker tape. Let's try all the keys. Try all the keys. Nothing seems to work. I see, sir.
Let me try a crack at it.
Let me give a shot.
Oh, no, please.
No, Dalgrief, please.
I've heard tales of your skills all around the inner sea realms.
Please, I'd love to see a real hero in action.
Oh, it's a pick-off.
It's a pick-off.
All right, you son of a bitch. Is the door trapped?
Is the door trapped? No.
No, it's not trapped.
Alright.
I tried to open it. It doesn't happen.
Metro stands back.
Yeah, I will do a perception check for
traps. And there goes
my natural 20. Oh!
Brutal. It's rolling around in your palm.
It does not appear to be trapped, you feel.
Of course it's not trapped.
It's so deep in their own hideout.
That could have been for the pick.
I know.
That's why I just said I wasted it.
I'm just a fishy thought.
You were illustrating that.
All right.
I'm going to do this shit pick roll.
This is going to be terrible and I can feel it.
I can't believe you wasted that 20. I believe in you, Joe. I call an roll. This is going to be terrible and I can feel it. I can't believe you wasted that 20.
I believe in you, Joe.
I call an 18.
It's going to be an 18.
Dogwit is one of the greatest of all time.
I'm willing an 18 into existence.
Fucking balls.
Come on.
27.
Your lockpick breaks off in the lock.
Oh, man.
And you're not able to open it.
Yes, it was a tough lock.
That was less than effective.
Nice tough lock, Dogwit. So shitty. It's a tough luck. That one is less than effective. That is tough luck, door grief.
Oh, so shitty.
It's a defective pick, I think.
No, it probably is.
It's some sort of structural defect in the make,
not in the handle.
Yeah?
It could possibly be you.
It could possibly be your doing.
I mean, you're so great.
It could possibly be the door.
Yeah, the door.
It's a door, isn't it?
It's the door, yeah. Yeah, it's a door, isn't it? It's the door, yeah.
Yeah, it's a door, isn't it?
It's a well-made lock.
You know, just for completionism's sake,
maybe I could take a crack at it.
Just so we can say we did it.
Even though we'll surely fail while you failed.
Stop jabbing your gums and get in there and open the door.
Jesus Christ.
49.
Click.
You know what?
You loosen it up for me.
Fuck.
This is a miracle.
Fantastic.
He pushes right past you
and starts to walk down the hallway.
There was another campaign I was in that was GM.
You're quite handy in a pinch, aren't you?
Oh, stop it.
It was GM by Skid Bar.
It was Rise of the Ruined Lords.
We were all level 13, and there was this scroll box that no one could open.
And I think it required, like, a couple checks or something.
It was like three straight, like, crazy disabled devices.
But it was, like, crazy to us, but it was DC 30, and you just fucking rolled off a 49
like there's no tomorrow.
We needed you in the party, not the M-ing.
All right, continue.
You open up the set of doors nimbly, with ease.
A lock that any real rogue could open with their eyes closed.
Slayers are unfair.
Slayers are unfair.
And you see about 30, 35 feet away from you another set of double doors,
also ornately carved with just scenes of giants just squashing dwarves and humans and elves, all these creatures smaller than them, and triumphing.
In the space between these two sets of doors,
you do notice that the walls have sconces on them
with flames.
It's now totally lit,
and it seems to be like the walls have been shaved down
to look really nice.
You haven't seen this type of artistry at all.
Artistry or...
Bingeability?
Craftsmanship.
Thank you.
At all throughout the rest of it.
Everything was left natural now.
I said those officers' quarters that you were in
looked to be, like, decorated
so that they would have a comfortable,
homey feel for the higher-ups.
This is something totally different.
It has been made to look nice.
Is there any way, I mean, outside of just naked eyeballing,
to tell, is there a difference in age between the Ashpeakian kind of murals
and bas-reliefs we saw down underneath at the bottom of the volcano
versus these new carvings of giant squashing things?
Do these look like new doors, like years old, 100 years old?
Does that, like, compare the two?
These are newer doors.
Now, you can tell without even an engineering check.
You can just say, like, oh, these were built by the current inhabitants.
Coin.
Jump up there.
Get the next one.
Let's keep it moving fast.
No, I defer.
I defer to the master.
Please, you may inquire.
Your flame echoes throughout the halls of the Dwarven Peaks,
throughout the Kodar Mountains in the north,
all the way down to Assyria in the south.
I wouldn't dream of stepping in front of the master's footsteps.
Please, please, let me just watch you.
No, I've got to give you a chance.
I've got to give you a chance.
I mean, I myself have never heard of you.
Don't think anyone else has either.
I'm a bit nervous in front of you.
If you get up there, maybe pick another lock or two.
Maybe someone else might hear of you.
All right, all right.
That is tempting.
Does Dalgrith and uh uh nester
walk up together to the door while they're having this conversation he's standing like by the other
door like just on the other side of the other door essentially okay like like by all means go ahead
baron and uh metra uh i hadn't moved myself you're walking in with nester and dalgrith is staying
behind baron are you walking in are are you staying with Dalgrith?
I'm probably like 10 feet behind Nestor, just trying to keep an eye on him.
Okay.
When Nestor gets about halfway through the room, all of a sudden you hear,
there's a pressure plate on the floor.
No.
There is traps in here.
And Nestor and Della look up.
I'm Metro.
Excuse me, Nestor and Metro.
I meant Baron's gun.
Baron's gun looks up.
And Metro.
No, Nestor and Metro look up,
and there's just this huge stone slab that comes flying down at you.
No reflex save, but it is an attack roll to hit.
Would I perhaps get an immediate action?
You always get an immediate action.
I will Aether Step.
Aether Step.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, so what does that do?
It just takes you out of...
I step onto the ethereal plane for a round.
Nestor is not so lucky.
It's a 34 to hit.
Yeah, that hits.
The stone comes down, hits Nestor for 60 points of damage.
Oh, my God.
You might as well be in the cider house.
That is insane.
Crushing stone just comes.
Boom!
Now, obviously, it doesn't say you fall prone from this,
but I imagine the weight of the stone, you just crumble under the stone.
And you guys are just standing there,
and you know that if you were on his heels
Like Della you would have been hit by that as well
I met my god
Wow
Are you alright Coyne
Coyne speak to me
That hurt very very much
I'm sorry to say
Metro reappears from the ethereal plane
Oh
Yeah Did you check for traps I'm sure that I had assumed Metroid reappears from the ethereal plane. Yeah.
Did you check for traps?
Surely I'd assumed it,
that great Dalgrief Deathbringer
had done so already.
Are you famous, Dalgrief?
People have heard of me, yes.
I've got many leather-bound books.
But now's not the time.
He's going to step up and see...
Barak, come on, help him out.
Please, this is your old friend.
Go offer him some aid.
I think friend might be overdoing it, Dalgrith.
How many points of damage do you take?
60.
Jesus Christ!
16d6.
Perhaps we should do a little healing?
Yes, let's do that
You seem hesitant
And kind of withholding
And I'm worried
I'm worried that it's not about Nestor
And that it's about our supply
Like are we running low
I have another full wand
Would you stop giving us the business Grant
Just heal him
I'll check for traps if no one else
will.
36 for other traps in the room.
You don't see any other traps. You do see
the pressure plate that he stepped on.
Can we disable it? Make sure it
doesn't go off again. Does the stone slab rise
back up after it hits? Yeah, so
it resets. Yeah, so we better
disable it. 62
points of healing with 10 taps of the light wand.
Excellent.
While he's getting healed, Dogwrath is going to attempt to disable whatever mechanism it is.
Okay.
Metro stands in the other room.
Go ahead and try to disable it.
That is a 36.
You got it.
That's actually a manual reset.
I just wanted to see if you'd fail.
Just so we could all have a good laugh.
Well, don't say that.
Just say that it auto-recepts.
Damn it, Troy.
Sometimes GMing involves
telling a little white lie.
Sometimes GMing involves
telling the truth
to embarrass your friends.
And I win both ways
because now you wasted a check,
but if you had failed,
you would have felt stupid
either way.
Well, he's going to realize this
as he does it
and then look up at Nestor
and be like, all taken care of there, mate. I took care of it. I don't have to stupid either way. Well, he's going to realize this as he does it, then look up at Nestor and be like,
all taken care of there, mate.
I took care of it.
I don't have to worry about it.
Disabled.
Won't happen to you again.
Thank you.
Oh, thank you.
But we better be more careful next time.
Yeah.
I'll keep an eye on you.
Oh.
I just thought I'd be safe following you.
We say that you walk through the raindrops,
but I guess I still can get wet
if I'm not the great Dahlgrief Deathbringer.
I'm starting to notice a little sarcasm in your tone.
No, no, no, not at all.
No, this is totally sincere.
My admiration for you.
I've heard about you.
Long have I dreamed of a day where I might meet you
and be able to witness your mastery in the dungeon.
Are you a master in the dungeon?
Maitre, you've known me for quite some time.
You've seen that I can handle myself in the dungeon.
Sure.
That's incredibly rude.
Matt, did you see me arguing with you?
Oh my god, this is the fucking worst.
You know?
It's like you're hanging out with your friend, and then their new friend comes, and they're
so enamored with their new friend, and you're just like, this sucks!
Were we ever enamored with you?
I just said they're enamored with their new friend.
Pembroke was enamored with you for a little bit.
At one point, you were that new friend.
That's true.
Right.
Yeah, to Metra.
Old news.
Now I'm old news.
Yep.
I do miss Pembroke.
So much better than fucking Nestor.
All right.
All right, you two lovebirds.
Which one of y'all is going to open the door?
All right.
I'll take care of it in one shot.
Dog right there will walk up to the door and check for traps on the door before he starts messing around with it.
It was your constant failure in this room that almost killed me.
I know.
I know.
The failure of the first level.
Here's the thing.
He's still a fan.
I'm going to turn it all around.
If I crit on that trap, that would have been 120 points.
Here we go.
Let's start it off right.
That's a 32 for traps.
For traps.
Appears to be untrapped.
Okay.
I think you got this, dude.
Fantastic.
Unlock that shell.
I'll do the flip.
Pull out another lockpick.
Statistics show that you could roll the same number twice in a row.
Start working that lockpick in there. Come on, Tony.
And he did.
So there we go, baby.
He rolled the same number twice in a row.
34.
Oh, if you fail, I was like, the rock falls and hits the desk.
I'm sorry, 35.
35.
You unlocked it.
It's a big difference.
You fail, all of a sudden, crash!
Another one!
Oh, man.
The Looney Tunes version.
I dunk.
You open it, and the tunnel stretches on,
but now the tunnel has the same appearance
of this space between two doors.
The walls are shaved as well as they can be.
It's not perfect craftsmanship.
Sconces evenly spaced along the walls, lit, burning with a flame.
Tapestries hung on the walls, depicting various kinds of giants.
It kind of detects magic
as we go. Is there anything
magical about that? The flames are all
emanating magic. Continual flames.
Tapestries.
Tapestries. Tapestries.
No magic on the tapestries.
Can we see beyond the door? Yes.
Let me reveal. Actually, I didn't say I opened the door.
I picked it, but then
I opened it. How dare he? Stealthily. You stealthily opened the door. I picked it, but then I opened it. How dare he?
Stealthily.
You stealthily opened the door?
And we see that it's nicer.
And let's see how many pressure plates there are.
Looking immediately ahead, 27.
27, you don't see anything.
All right.
It's because it's DC-30.
Right.
Which is why secret checks are important.
All right, here we go.
Moving forward.
Dalgrith will slowly move ahead.
Okay.
Alone as this entire party stays.
It's actually all very well lit, so I can show you pretty deep down there.
Oh, awesome.
Yeah.
It's not awesome for stealth, like for Dalgrith.
He feels a little
uncomfortable but it is good being able to see a long distance anyone can see you at the other end
of the hallway stealth is just the quietness of your approach is what's going to help you
um but it's it's all very well lit so if you're being watched you're fucked okay Okay. Nestor is going to do periodic check for traps, too, just as he goes.
Yeah, give me that.
I'm going to do the same thing, and I also want to, if it's lit,
then I'm going to stay in the group and stay with Metra,
and we should just all move together.
Dogwraith wants to stay close to Metra just in case.
Okay.
There's trouble and we have to get out quick.
30 perception, 37 for traps.
Okay.
It's well lit enough for you to really get a good sense of what's in front of you.
You look.
You don't see anything.
Okay.
Onward.
Onward.
Let's all go.
You continue pressing on.
I mean, you're going 100 feet or so when something changes.
You see up into the left.
So, I mean, at least in terms of this map, it would be the south, maybe southeast, south-southeast.
There's a tunnel that continues down.
southeast, south-southeast,
there's a tunnel that continues down.
But continuing forward along the path that you're on is another set of double doors.
Can we take a peek around the corner of the tunnel,
heading down,
see if there's anything lurking there,
waiting for us?
Sure.
Who wants to do it?
This place.
Doc Ruth will do it.
He's famous. He's famous.
He's huge.
But what if they see him and know who he is right away?
We'll know from their reaction.
Maybe they'll be starstruck and I'll be an advantage.
Win-win.
Yeah. I like it.
I'm still ending right here. You take a peek down the hallway there.
Just a general quick peek.
It looks like it winds south-southeast and then starts to go due south and you lose it from there.
Oh dear.
Metro, I don't know if we're going to find him in time.
It's too big.
Keep going.
It's the only thing we can do.
Through the doors or to the south, what you want.
Through the doors.
All right, he'll move up to the door and do a perception check.
For traps, 33.
You don't detect any traps.
Anything on the door?
Anything carved into this one?
Any epic scenes of murder?
Any epic scenes of...
Genocide?
Yeah, this one is a little bit different.
It's not a scene of just pure murder.
It's a scene that almost has like a religious feel to it.
It's a little more iconographic.
Iconographic?
Iconographic.
Iconographic, yeah.
I started to say the word before I knew how I wanted to say it.
Is that a word?
Iconographic.
I made that up.
That sounds right.
Sounds right.
Yeah.
This may contain iconic.
Iconographic violence.
Yeah, that's a word.
Iconography.
Iconographic.
Yeah.
But is iconographic?
Yeah, it's in the Merriam-Webster.
You know what?
Oh, okay.
Relating to iconography.
Okay.
Iconographic. i like it so yeah it's
not just uh it doesn't have that same like just uh war celebrating war this is like the um
it's like a stained glass feel to it yeah no but it's it's it's it's not just murder there's like
uh paradise yeah it's not like there's a crucifix on it, but there's... It's honoring one specific
giant or giant family.
There are flames celebrated.
This door should be rated R
for iconographic violence.
Very good.
Dog Wraith
will attempt to open the door.
See if it's locked.
Attempt to open the door,
and the door is unlocked.
Stealthily open the door.
Roll stealth.
Natural 20.
Ooh!
43.
You quietly open the door.
Peek in, and you see a long room.
Double doors at the end of it, and in front of those double doors, two guards standing there.
Oh, shit.
That appear to have not heard you.
Fire giants?
Fire giants.
Are they, like, ceremonially armed?
Are they, like like decked out?
They're different from what you've seen,
but it's pretty clear that they are guarding that door.
And it's brightly lit in this room as well?
Brightly lit.
There's like little alcoves along the wall
and light coming from the alcoves.
He'll just sort of incredibly slowly
like ease the door back to where it was, covers. He'll just sort of incredibly slowly, like, ease
the door back to where it was.
Completely silently trying
to roll that
stealth over. And then take a step back.
There's
two of them guarding the room up there.
They look different.
Can't say how, but two fire
giants. The room's
well lit. Nestor at least here fire giants. The room's well lit.
Nestor at least here could see.
He has darkvision anyway.
That's right.
Well done, Nestor.
He'll be blinded in that room.
He can't possibly go in.
Well, you think we can draw them to us or kill them before they move?
We don't kill both of them. We kill one of them and we start breaking the other one's fingers one
by one till they tell us where
Jimmer and Thune are. That's
the plan. I think this is an Imperial
Guard, Baron. I don't
think these giants
are going to be the ones we break. If they
aren't breakable, at least we'll have some fun.
So cruel. That seemed out of
character for you Sheriff
I learned from the best
Let's get moving
Throw them to us
I'll drop one in a pit
Alright
Baron's happy to draw them
If you want
I just don't have a ton of range
But I can do it
Make sure
We also have somebody
Who has a weapon
That doesn't make a
Absolutely
A thousand decibels
My gun doesn't make any noise
Della doesn't
No
Because of the gloves
Magical
Oh it's the gloves. Magical gloves.
How long is the room?
Ballpark.
Ballpark.
Obviously, you took a quick peek.
I can tell you from the doors to the Giants, 135 feet.
My only concern, Metro, is that they may come right for us, but they may not as well.
If we open that door, show ourselves, and expect them to come to us,
they might just go right through that door of their garden.
Can you shadow step us there?
I can.
Perhaps leave Nestor to lay down covering fire while we jump in close?
I think so.
I'm more than happy to do that.
So it's just slightly out of Nestor's range, but within a move action of him to get within.
You have a normal bow.
It's like 110 feet.
So that could be a move action.
Or we could try to stealth up.
Well, he'd have to use the whole round, basically,
because he'd have to open the doors and move in.
Or you could open the door again.
I know, but like, yeah, yeah.
I could open the door door and then we can
dimension step I'm just worried about
rolling initiative and how fast they see things
that would be our surprise round right
if we succeed on the stealth then
right Nestor gets a shot
off we dimension
door in and then
uh sure
alright let's do it so Dalgrith
will go to the door.
We want to roll initiative.
On surprise round, I'm going to open the door.
And then you guys do whatever you want to do, but stand near the door.
So you need the door open in order to mention stuff?
Because you have to see where you're going. No, no.
In order for Nestor, on his surprise round, to shoot through the door.
We want to do an opening salvo, as it were.
Right.
So you just need to succeed on the stealth check again to open the door we want to do an opening salvo as it were right so you just need to succeed on the
stealth check again to open the door no it's a surprise round we'll roll initiative for my action
i will open the door then actions all start and that shit just starts happening yeah and in the
surprise round we can do a move or a standard so my move will be to open the door nester standard will be the shoot
metra standard will be to dimension step us in right next to that it's very interesting you know
like i right that'll work right yeah i like it yeah i like it it's interesting i've never
i've never had the player be like so we're gonna do a surprise round
well we're aware of them is that cool it's never been like that clear it seems like by the rules
what should happen is you open the door,
and if you succeed at the stealth check, we get a surprise round because they're not aware of us.
No, but...
But if you open the door and they are aware of us, combat begins because you don't get a surprise round.
That's what I was thinking.
That's by the rules, right?
But you know you've already succeeded, and so now you're just going to be like, let's do this.
Right, this is the plan.
This is me being like, do you have to open the door, and then it's let's do this? Or you be like, let's do this. Right. This is the plan. This is me being like, do you have to open the door and then it's let's do this?
Or you're saying, let's do this.
And I think we should just say, let's do this.
Let's do this.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
I love it.
Roll for initiative.
All right.
Now, here's the thing.
If I roll a low initiative, it's a problem.
I'll still get the door open, but the giants might get to go before me after we zip in there.
If you roll a low initiative, we'll just delay until we go after you.
No, no, no.
That's not the issue.
You guys can delay, but then if the Giants have a higher initiative, you'll dimension
step us in, and they'll go before we do.
If they're aware of us.
Where our surprise round gets off, but they won't get a surprise round if we succeed at
the stealth.
Right?
No, no.
You're not understanding.
We're not on the same page. Okay. here we go if i can i roll i like how joe's we're not on
the same page always has a subject sub you're a fucking idiot it's very true you want me to open
the door we're just not on the same page no do you want me to open the door if i go before you
so you can take an action once we get in there yeah sure you can do that if you want yeah i
rolled metro will cast invisibility on herself before we do any of this. Okay.
All right, Metro, what did you roll?
Oh, I haven't done it yet.
20.
20, okay.
Baron?
31.
There you go, Baron.
Baron, Nestor.
18.
18 for Nestor and Dalgryph.
15.
This is where the problem lies.
Because in the surprise round, you're going last.
Yeah, but everybody can delay.
And Baron said he's going to open the door anyway.
I'll open the door.
Okay.
All right, well, let's just see how this plays out. How close do you want to be to the Giants?
What's the range on your gun?
Well, I'm not going to be able to shoot until...
Well, I'll probably be able to go first
because I'll go surprise round in the normal initiative order.
Uh, 20 feet away.
Works for me.
20 feet away, which if I put you on the other side of me, we can get dog reef within 10
feet away.
Does that work for you?
Or you need to be right up on them?
Don't worry about me.
Just worry about Baron.
Because if I'm not right next to them, then it doesn't matter.
Right. Like I'll just have to get to them, then it doesn't matter. All right.
Like, I'll just have to get to them anyway.
So just, yeah, get Baron within range.
Great.
All right.
Feel good about this?
I do.
I mean...
Let's do it.
Yes and no.
But I think it's fun.
Yeah.
Let's see how it all plays out.
I'm totally fine with the way we've decided to do this,
and that's all that matters.
So let's see the surprise round, out. I'm totally fine with the way we've decided to do this, and that's all that matters.
So let's see the surprise round, and it's Baron's turn.
Okay.
Okay.
So can Baron's action, we'll take an action for a surprise round.
Can I roll a stealth check to see if I stealthily open the door?
Yeah, sure.
They might know where we are or how it all works out, but I'll try.
Natural 20.
35. 35. Yeah. So this is where my issue is is like
this is what i like uh basically like okay so now has the combat not started yeah you know
what i mean this is the problem with your idea now that it's being put it's not a problem it
doesn't quite work no what i was saying is what i was saying is you don't do it stealthily.
It's just like you open the door.
That's the surprise one because we want to attack.
You don't want to.
So then if that's the case, then it wouldn't matter.
Because here's the thing, right?
He stealthily opens the door.
It doesn't matter what he rolled in stealth.
If it's well lit, they see us.
There's no way around that.
If their back is turned, they might not hear us.
You just rolled a stealth check to open the door before.
Well, I rolled a stealth check to, like, peek in.
I didn't roll it to open for firing.
You know what I mean?
Sure, sure.
It's two different things.
Yeah, yeah.
No, I hear what you're saying.
Maybe they're filing their nails so they don't hear it and they don't look up.
So this is where it gets complicated.
You stealthily opened the door and one of them you, because they also rolled a natural 20.
Okay.
So now they're aware of this happening, but...
We're already in the surprise round.
You're already in the surprise round.
So I'm going to let it go.
Let me show you what you see.
That will give you a little bit better look at the room there.
Oh, boy.
That is long.
That's long. It's long and alcove-y room there. That is long. That's long.
It's long and alcove-y.
It is alcove-y.
I'd like some pepperoni and alcove-y on my pizza, please.
You know, the surprise round thing was bugging me,
so I went straight to the book just to read it back to myself.
And even though we're doing it in a way we've never done,
it's still correct.
It feels weird.
If some, but not all, of the combatants are aware of their opponents,
the surprise round
happens before regular rounds begin that's what happened you looked and be like the guy let's
fucking get him in addition of order combatants who start the battle aware of their opponents
each take a standard to move action during the surprise run that's what you're doing you also
get free actions it's just working in a in a weird way um but like i'm i think it's i think it's
actually weird any other way this is the exact way it should always work.
You know, because most of the time you're like, a monster surprises you and you see it and then you roll initiative and then these other things happen.
Like where, you know, that to me is a little bit weirder than like, here's the plan.
We're going to X, Y, Z.
Now let's all roll and then we get to do one thing before they're aware of us.
We know they're going to be aware of us.
I love the perspective shift. Yeah, I think it's awesome. And then we get to do one thing before they're aware of us. We know they're going to be aware of us.
I love the perspective shift.
Yeah, I think it's awesome.
Let me tell you about the room a little bit. You see a pair of volcanic braziers flanking the walls along the entire length of this narrow chamber.
The chamber is only a little bit wider than the tunnels you've been walking down.
Ceiling is 20 feet high, same as the tunnel you were just in.
Oily flames flicker from the tops of volcanoes that are carved into the walls in Bowerly.
Oh, that's awesome.
And sparkling stones glitter like lava filling the ground.
Wow.
It's beautiful.
Oh, this is really legit right here.
We are into some shit right now.
Yeah.
We are closing in.
This is like Pirates of the Caribbean or something.
Yeah, it is.
This is like we're waiting in line for a Disney ride.
Baron used his move action in the surprise round to open the door.
It is now Metristar.
Oh, baby.
We'll grab Dog Wreath and Baron and we'll link us in.
Right before she does, he's like, wait, wait, wait, I'll change my mind.
And then 20 feet away.
If I drop us there, can we do that?
So you drop yourselves into an alcove right next to the two fire giants, right next to one of them.
I want to be there, I think.
Okay, so you're about ten feet away.
Probably double that distance.
Five feet back if we can.
There's a wall five feet behind me.
Just go right in the middle, dog.
Right in the middle, dog?
You want to be there?
Okay, and that's the same positioning you were standing in?
Yeah. I just looked at us
and brought us over.
This gives us a little bit of protection.
Okay. Got a little bit of protection. Okay.
Got a little bit of protection.
I think that puts us against a rock in a hard place, actually.
I'd rather be able to run away.
Hands off the chess piece.
It is now Nestor's turn.
Nestor, the door is open.
135 feet away, there are two giants.
All right, so Nestor has had a single arrow knocked in his bow,
waiting for the door to open.
Once he does, he enacts his ability, Pinpoint Targeting,
which, as a standard action, I make a single ranged attack.
The target does not gain any armor, natural armor,
or shield bonuses to its armor class.
Oh, my God.
So, and I do get a minus two for being outside my first range increments.
Okay.
Uh, but that is a natty 18.
I was going to say, it's probably gonna have to be a natural one.
Yeah.
That pinpoint.
Yeah.
Okay.
Which one are you hitting?
The one, uh, we'll call them north and south right now.
The one closest to the party.
Okay.
Uh, right next to, uh, where Dalgrith is.
Yeah.
About 10 feet away from Dalgrith.
Yeah.
Uh, that's 20 points of damage 20 points of damage
beautiful
what a cool opening
hell of a shot
right in a chink in the armor
right in a gap
from that distance
that's insane
in a matter of seconds that was the one that heard the door open
and was like oh god oh god I'm married Distance? That's insane. Yeah. In a matter of seconds, that was the one that heard the door open. It's like, what is it?
Oh, God!
Oh, God!
Why?
I'm married!
Dalgrith, you are right next.
Well, you're 10 feet away from that one that just got hit.
About 20 feet away from the other one.
It's your turn.
You've got to stand or to remove.
Uras, no!
Dalgrith is going to run up to this giant here up at the front.
Avoid the A-O-O.
Attempt to, anyway.
Okay, but they haven't acted yet.
Oh, that's right.
And then he'll jump on.
Attempt to jump on.
Okay.
So that is a 43.
Yeah, you're on him.
And so he jumps on.
So that's his move action.
He is on the giant.
Let's get to round one.
It is Baron's turn.
Come on, dude!
Baron, you've got two people
and just Dalgrith. No, Dalgrith's not in front
of you. He's on top of the giant, so you get a nice clean
shot 20 feet away with your old
pal Della.
My old buddy.
Exactly 20 feet away, Baron is going to
light up the other giant, knowing that the
legendary Dalgrith Deathbringer
has the first one under control.
Wait, Bear, are you saying that somehow I managed
to place you exactly 20 feet from both
giants? I'm actually closer
to the other giant than I was.
I'm only 15 feet away.
I can't even give you a compliment.
I'll give it to you.
People with high self-esteem don't ask for
compliments all the time. Alright, fan in the trigger
Boom, the first one hits
That's a 26 to hit
26 is a hit
Twist the knife
30 points of damage on the first attack
And you're attacking the other one
Not the one that Nestor hit
30 points of damage Out of the box, I'm the one that Nestor hit. Yes, not the one that Nestor hit. Okay, 30 points of damage.
Dang it, out of the box.
I'm so excited.
That's a hit.
That's a 29.
Yep.
Okay, ooh, looking good.
That's another 30 points of damage.
Wow.
Another even 30.
The third attack is a 16 against Touch AC.
Stop asking.
Touch AC, yeah, you're right.
Ooh, 12. Chop down that tree. Ooh, that's a 32 points of AC. Stop asking. 16 against Touch AC. Yeah, you're right. Okay. Ooh, 12.
Chop down that tree. Ooh, that's a 32 points of damage. Wow. Okay.
The final attack. Come on.
13 against Touch
AC. God, I thought that was a natural one.
Your sevens always look like ones.
Ah, yeah. Yeah, dude.
Come on. Okay, so nine.
So you've already done 92.
27 points of damage. Okay, still standing've already done 92. 27 points of damage.
Okay, still standing.
Still standing, but still, you did great.
That's a lot of damage.
I should have gotten up close and deadly.
That is a hell of a round.
It is now Metra's turn.
Come on, Metra.
Save my life!
I'm already like, I'm so low on initiative, I'm like, they're going to kill me in the first round.
You're standing right behind Baron in this alcove.
You see in this alcove where the top of the volcano is,
it's like a little indentation where it looks like coins have been put inside,
like an offering.
Oh.
What?
Some sort of chapel?
I guess.
I think it's the king's quarters.
I would love if it was.
I would love it if it was, Metro!
Or some kind of area of religious significance
too.
Due to its iconographic
nature. Yes.
Will the giant
that Dogwreath
is currently climbing... Please stand up.
Please stand up. Roll a will save.
Roll a will save.
Alright. Nat a will save. Roll a will save. All right.
Nat Twanzoni.
Oh, no.
Twanzoni.
You got a Nat Twanzoni.
That's the same one that rolled a...
Nothing happens.
Natural 20 minutes perception.
Nothing happens.
My favorite words in the English language.
Actually, something does happen.
I become visible.
Oh.
Oh.
So you did an attack-y type spell.
It was an attacky
type spell? Yeah, that's what it's called.
You went from iconographic to
attacky. Metro went
full attacky. Bill Pataki
and his wacky khakis.
It is Nestor Coyne's turn. Nestor,
you're in the back there.
You have yet to join
your friends, but you do your best damage
from far away. However, you're outside of your first range.
That's true.
Nestor is going to use his Slayer's Advance.
Okay.
Actually, no, he's not.
He's just going to make a regular move.
He's going to stride in 30 feet into the room,
and he is going to swift action study the giant that Baron just shot four times.
Okay.
As you come into the room, just something of note.
In the alcoves, you pass the first two alcoves,
and you see what I already explained to Della,
like alcove with the... A metra.
A little, excuse me.
I keep calling you Della.
A metra saw is the indentation,
looks like some sort of offering inside of coins.
As you step up towards the next two alcoves,
there are two, like, skeletons standing there.
Oh, no.
Just something of note.
Yeah, something you might be interested in.
They're standing there in the alcove, clad in black full-plate armor, just standing there at attention.
Oh, dear.
Well, so I've taken note of that, and I'm going to use a Slayer ability that I took because I knew it would drive Troy insane.
Oh, God.
It's also super useful.
It's called Blood Reader.
God.
Please tell me it's not a witch's hex.
No, it's not.
But while able to see a studied target, a Slayer with his talent knows exactly how many hit points his opponent has remaining.
It only works against living targets.
Is that a real thing?
Oh, yeah.
That is crazy.
What is it called?
Blood Reader.
Blood Reader.
That is amazing.
It's like, I mean, there's a spell that no one would ever use in combat.
Death Ward? Death Watch. Death Watch. Death Watch. It tells you, like, if they, there's a spell that no one would ever use in combat. Yeah, Death Watch.
Death Watch.
It tells you if they're less than 10 HP.
Yeah, yeah.
You use this as a free action?
Yeah.
Against a study target, yeah, it's free.
Why would you need a Slayer talent to do that when you can just do what Grant does
and be like, can I roll Perception and see how many hit points I have?
You're really, I'm feeling attacked tonight, man.
Wow.
All right, so which one do you want to know that about?
The one that Grant, that Baron just shot three times.
Okay, right.
Because that's, is that the one you hit or?
No, I shot the other one.
I shot the one that don't.
Are they both studied targets?
No, only the one that I, the one further away.
Because I'm reading it here,
while able to see a studied target,
it knows how many hit points. Or is it just Matt? here, while able to see a studied target, it knows how many hit points.
Or is it just Matt,
as long as you can see any studied target,
you know how many...
Yeah, no, I'm just asking about the one on the left.
Okay.
He can study targets as a swift action.
Right, because I'm just reading it here
because I was curious what book it was from.
It says, while able to see a studied target,
a slayer with this talent knows exactly
how many hit points his opponent has remaining.
So can you just tell it for the one that you studied?
Yes.
Okay.
Right.
And that is the one on the south or the north?
The one on the north.
Okay.
That one has 80 hit points left.
80 hit points left.
Okay.
Holy shit.
Wow.
These guys are pretty.
You already did like 120 to it, 116.
These things have 200 hit points?
Now I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight because of Blood Raider.
I know.
See, I knew it would drive you insane.
Better that than the local murderer.
That's right.
Now I won't be thinking about the murderer.
I'll just think about the murderer at the table.
So I'm going to do pinpoint targeting again.
Okay.
With a single shot because I can't do many shots because I'm doing a full attack.
Natural one. Oh. Natural one.
Natural one.
Now roll to confirm.
You've got multiple attacks.
It's a nine, so it's not a confirmed fumble.
Nine total?
Natural nine.
Which is like in the 30s.
It's a 34.
Alright, so you step up. You know what it has,
but on your one attack,
you miss. You are in the has, but on your one attack, you miss.
You are in the room.
A couple skeletons to your left and right if that interests you at all.
Oh, no.
Dalgrith, you are up.
Oh, nice.
Oh, this is exciting.
Okay.
Blood reader.
You're the only one that's ever used something from Advanced Class Origins.
Player companion.
Hey, I bought it for a reason.
That's great.
Went down to my local hobby store and I purchased a copy.
You got it.
You got it signed by the office.
Brought it home.
All right.
Dalgrith is going to...
He has his...
He's steady on this creature.
And now he's going to release one hand
draw his weapon
his short sword
and he's going to try
a dirty trick
combat maneuver
he's going to try to blind the giant
he's going to try to just like
jam the butt of his sword into the giant's
eyes and
get it
so it can't see.
Now, did you use an action drawing your weapon?
Yeah, move action.
You're telling me before we teleported in this room, when we were attacking giants,
you didn't have your weapon drawn?
That seems unnecessarily cruel to yourself.
That seems very punitive.
I can't climb the creature.
Oh, okay, sorry.
Yeah, so this is something that I was forgetting and skipping over.
Okay.
I was doing it originally back when Dogwrith first came in.
I think I remember that in the beginning, yeah.
Yeah, and so now it's like, he's so incredibly ineffective, it's astounding.
But he is very fun, because you get to climb on people.
So he jumps on, pulls out the sword, and since I can't do a full attack, I'm going to try to blind the giant.
Nice.
So it'll just increase our odds of living, because we don't have Jimmer, which is a problem.
The big hair.
It's part of Dalgray's build.
It's like thinking about Jimmer.
Just part, his most recent levels.
You don't have the flanking.
Yeah, I can't.
I'm not going to use my opportunist ever.
There's no melee attacker.
Like, it's a really brutal change.
So I'm going to go ahead and try this combat maneuver so let's see uh that is a 31 against cmd that is a fail
yeah so he fails that's it that's his round that's his round yeah it's just you know it's
a combat maneuver so it's it's awful that's know, it's a combat maneuver, so it's awful. That's how Pathfinder works.
Let me tell you what happens next.
Oh, no!
A couple of things are going to happen.
The giant that you are on, Dalgrith, looks up at you and takes a full attack action to swing.
and takes a full attack action to swing.
The other giant across the way moves up to Baron and takes one vital strike against Baron.
On either side of Nestor,
the fire, the skeletons explode with flames.
Nestor can see down the hallway,
the next two alcoves explode with flames as well, as skeletal champions all engulfed in flames exit the alcoves and come after Nestor, the other two coming down an image of a fanged, steeled helm
wreathed in flame that stretches from the doorway all the way comically
to the door that you just came in as skeletons and fire giants attack all of you.
Oh, my God.
And we'll see you next week.
Oh, my God!
Wait, what?
Oh, come on!
This is metal as metal as shit!
As if it was coming
out the door! Oh my god! The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production
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