The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 246 - Vital Strike About You
Episode Date: February 11, 2020The heroes find themselves surrounded by fire giant guards and giant flaming skeletons! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, sub...scribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast.
This is a tough situation here.
You had a good plan.
As you can see, it doesn't even fucking matter.
A divided party.
First swing.
Oh, 19 on the die.
Die is the key word here because that's what you're going to do, brother.
Faces down a battalion of flaming skeletons.
Let's turn on power attack.
They are wielding great swords.
Oh, man.
Wow, that's a lot of damage if they hit.
And their usual tactics.
He steps back, still in contact with Metra, and he is going to get
up close and deadly. Might not
save them this time. I'm gonna roll the dice,
as it were, see if this vital
strike lands!
The adventure continues.
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Now. Oh my god! No! What's going on, Glass Cannon Nation?
Welcome to a fresh new installment of that juicy RPG goodness.
My name is Joe O'Brien.
Let's talk Turkey right now, right out of the gate today,
because the network has never been busier.
And I want you guys to know some of the exciting stuff that's dropping this
week it's kind of like another premiere week around here at GCN studios and you're all invited
first of all I am excited to announce the premiere of a brand new twitch channel for the network
known as the glass cannon network employee lounge here you will find live streaming content from all of us at the glass cannon doing what we
do when we aren't playing tabletop games mainly playing video games sharing our love of video
games with you guys our original twitch channel will now be more tabletop focused which will free
up the gcn employee lounge to be the place where we can let our hair down,
chill after a long day at the actual Play Factory, and just hang out with the niche.
The channel will feature a little bit of all of us in some quality one-on-one time with you guys,
including the return of Troy LaVallee behind the stick.
The channel goes live today, Tuesday, February 11th, for free to everyone.
So make sure you follow us at twitch.tv slash GCN Employee Lounge.
Speaking of live streaming, our premiere of Androids and Aliens live on Friday, January 31st was, by all accounts, a huge success.
And we have you guys to thank for that.
Thank you so much to everybody that came out to support us that night.
And we hope you'll be there again this Friday, February 14th at 8 p.m.
Eastern when the story continues.
Come and meet our new friends, Sydney, David and Anne and join the party, man.
Every viewer counts to help us expand the network.
So we hope to see you there.
But that's not all we're streaming this week.
I told you it was a premiere week.
This Friday, February 14th, we'll also feature the premiere of our new Talkback show,
available to our Patreon subscribers at the $10 tier and higher.
Join Troy and myself and whoever else happens to be in the studio this week at 5 o'clock Eastern Time just before we start the sound check for A&A Live that night.
For a behind-the-scenes look at the last couple weeks of network news and business, as well as analyzing the episodes that dropped this week, breaking down what happened, what's going on behind the eyes of the players
and the GMs.
Think of it as cannon fodder meets my happy hour posts on Patreon.
If you're not yet a $10 subscriber on Patreon, go ahead and sign up or bump up your current
subscription to $10 and you'll get an alert when we go live this Friday, which will link
you to an exclusive live stream straight from the actual
green room at Glass Cannon Studios.
All right, that is it.
Let's get back to the business at hand.
The heroes are in a dire situation, and there's no more time to waste.
Please, ladies and gentlemen, enjoy episode 246 of the GCP.
Episode 246 of the GCP.
Do you remember a time when you started playing this,
either before the podcast or as we were getting deeper into the podcast,
where you wanted more dice?
Like there was never enough dice.
You're like, I want more dice.
I'm going to go to a con.
I'm going to buy dice.
Now I look and I hate every single die I have.
I want to throw them all out.
I don't have one.
I know this sounds contrived and stupid, but it's true and bothers me. Like, I don't have one lucky die.
I know it sounds stupid, but really, like, you always feel like, I love this die that I have.
I don't feel that about any of my die these days.
I just don't have any one that stands out.
Well, I got neon green,
but because of my
Wyrmwood tray,
I can't use it in there.
And so I primarily
use the Wyrmwood tray.
So I only bring out
neon green once in a while
and I have to roll it
in like a side tray,
like a loser.
So I just look at my dice
and, you know,
every time we go to
live shows,
fans give us dice joe
nobody gets more than joe but now i've started to get some as well um but i'm also like does it
bother you is anyone else here uh super neurotic that like uh the colors clash like i look at this
big tray of color clashing dice this is all feeding into my theory of some psychological issues you
have i also you are fitting the profile is it a theory low-key brag my wormwood track i can't
even use it because i can't even use my that's wormwood trays they work real well for some
dice i can't use these racing gloves in my ferrari does this not drive you nuts looking at all those
colors i mean i literally no because they're unorganized i want to throw up right you've in my Ferrari. Does this not drive you nuts looking at all those colors? I mean, I literally...
No, because they're unorganized.
I want to throw up.
Right, you've just got them
just piled in a jumble.
Well, how else would I put them?
Organize by color.
Oh my God.
He's staring at it right now.
He's thinking about doing it.
I'm thinking, yeah,
what do I do with the ones
that are just white?
I am going into tonight.
You've got a white section.
You've got white columns.
Oh, Matthew, it's 2020.
Can't do that with dice?
You almost forgot the year.
I was going to say, it's 2007, Matthew.
You don't separate your dice by color?
It's okay.
I laughed at the joke before you made it.
Thanks.
I appreciate it.
I was just going to say, I'm heading into tonight with a new die that I am very excited about.
Oh, wow.
That usually works well.
It is.
It is.
I'd like to
introduce you to this beautiful gorgeous die uh it's a d6 that i got in washington oh is that
ammonite i'm forgive me if i forget your name i think it was christian but it's from croatia he
got this in croatia pass that around matthew it's it's like marble uh and it's just kind of raw and
gorgeous matthew just rolled a one good start do and it's just kind of raw and gorgeous matthew
just rolled a one good start do you uh did you name it you should name it like a car or a putter
i haven't named it yet no this is the first night i'm gonna see live play if i get a six on this
this dice is forever known as tony kukuch oh please oh three sorry koch we got uh bojan bogdanovich up next is the next name uh no i'm
gonna take uh we'll go if i get a two it'll be called luke longley all right five five all right
good rolls all around so still unnamed not quite all around d6 the unnamed we shall see we shall
see i'm excited to see tonight because i think'm going to be rolling a few DCXs.
Well, I have this.
You got to hit first.
I know.
I do.
I have this D20 that I got at one of the post-show after parties, VIP after parties, and it's
really nice.
I've seen this one before.
It's beautiful.
I don't know what you would call that.
I've never used it in show.
I don't think I've ever used it.
19.
For everything.
Yeah, it's been rolling rocks while we were warming up.
Is that one of the gem dice? It like uh you can kind of it doesn't
say joe on it though it doesn't say joe no it's not that one it does wait that's a joe die that's
the one i handed out to everyone on the no this is gorgeous isn't that beautiful yeah i told you
when i gave it to you was the prettiest one you got absolutely gorgeous let's see if you get a
dm i charlie and valentina oh great so you know i've got that thank you i should write this stuff Absolutely gorgeous. It's from the nerdy DM, Charlie and Valentina. Oh, great.
So, you know, thank you.
I should write this stuff down.
Yeah.
Well, or just listen to me.
That'll never happen.
Or just listen to people when they talk to you.
Oh, here we go.
Yeah.
It's funny.
I rolled a natural six, but that is my favorite number, so I'll consider that a victory.
I'm an ape man.
I heard that about you.
We'll leave it there.
All right. Tarzan the ape man. We'll leave it there Alright
Tarzan the ape man
Brilliant
Well anyways
I don't know
I want to have a go-to die
And I really would like
To bring neon green
Back in the fold
But now I kind of like
That it's a special occasion die
I don't know
Maybe book six
I'll just neon green
For all of book six
I don't
But I want to
go back to something you said why can't you roll your plastic neon green d6 with its rounded edges
in your wormwood tray so there's something about this tray that if i roll a light die like that or
any of the plastic ones it it just it doesn't stop when it should stop in my opinion it'll always be
like it'll always know what you're
saying two extra rolls to it i'm like come on and it's always a 20 to an 18 to a four nothing
bothers me more than like the lean forward then lean back right like that was unnatural something
it's like playing the big wheel game on prices right yes yeah it takes a weird bounce and so
i'm like i just can't do it now if i use one
of my other trays it works okay but i don't have a lot of space here i really really fear for your
child because if you're if you're if your rubric right there was it didn't roll right the die
didn't roll right in my luxury tray i can't imagine what he's going to show you his homework
and you're like that's not how we do things. The answer is correct, but your pen is just terrible.
Rewrite it.
Yeah, I know.
That actually is something my father said to me.
He's screwed, the poor child.
But we all pass our universities on to our children.
That's why we all are the way we are.
Wow.
Wow.
Troy looked at me very seriously when he said that.
I said, I don't know your parents but i've
met very like you i think we should just let this thing run its course we should gradually
let the podcast morph into a parenting podcast yes that's clearly what it wants to do that was
the long con can we. Can we still roll dice
about our parenting classes?
We draw in that general market
with our tabletop role-playing
and then trick them
into a parenting podcast.
I mean, that's how I'm deciding
which school to send my son to.
Just roll the dice.
D20.
Got them all lined up.
My wife texted me the other day
reading this verbatim.
You really should release
a podcast episode of the wives playing your game. My-in-law has been after i feel like the fans
would like it and as i said to her well i'll i'll paraphrase what i said to her um it sounds like
something they would like until it's executed and it's like oh that was that was terrible you mean
that the audience would like yeah yeah yeah it's, yeah. It's like, oh, finally, we get to see the ladies.
And then it's like, wow, that was real garbage.
Right.
Yeah, none of them like it.
Right.
They hate it.
They made us feel bad about playing.
My wife actively despises the activity.
She thinks it's horrible.
My wife will not listen, even though she laughs when her brother plays it in the car for her.
But actually, my mother-in-law has been after this idea for years, and she even named the podcast.
Oh, really?
What's it called?
She wants it to be called The Glass Cannon Outcasts.
She's better at naming things than you are, Matthew.
Wow.
She should title your plays.
Maybe she should.
That's good.
That is good.
I should say Samantha would crush it, though.
Yeah, see, that's unfair advantage.
Yeah, it would be so unbalanced that people would stop listening the way people stop watching baseball.
Samantha should GM.
Yeah, she should GM.
There you go.
And then teach them how to play.
Yeah.
And we wouldn't be here to do anything.
And then I'm not editing it either.
It would take forever.
It's a terrible idea.
And that's what I told my wife.
What did she say when you so calmly
and rationally rejected her idea um she said give the fans what they want three exclamation points
you don't want to do this come on even you mentioning this was so silly do you know how
many messages you're going to get that they want this? Oh, I know what I'm doing.
You know, I was saying this to Skid and Joe before we started recording.
And this is something we've talked about before on the show.
The way that lives hang in the balance this deep into the book.
This has always been a part of our show. I think it's what separates our show from other shows.
That lives hang in the book. This has always been a part of our show. I think it's what separates our show from other shows, that lives hang in the balance.
You've been mashing for most of book five.
I can't believe we're in book five.
But now I just feel like,
especially after the dragon fight
and then what's happening in this room,
that the next PC death could very well happen in like what one could consider a shitty encounter.
Do you know what I mean?
A not monumental encounter.
It sucks that we lost Pembroke and Feyraza, but they went down to a boss fight.
Minions of the boss, but a boss fight.
It sucks that Della died, but she died with urathash's hammer
crushing her you know it's a it's a powerful uh rpg death and even gormley you could say gormley
died of uh you know a random random shitty encounter but man only only lork and forebears
died in random shitty encounters yeah lork died in probably the worst random one.
Um,
but I go,
I don't know.
I,
I,
I lean on those moments cause I think like if it does happen,
uh,
like it's probably going to happen to Baron in this episode.
Um,
it's,
it's going to be a real bummer,
but it's what you make out of this,
the,
the actual moment.
That is what lends it.
It's,
uh,
I don't know. It's, it's, it know, its strength in the narrative as the story continues.
Well, your character is going to be like, oh, two skeletons and a fire giant killed Baron.
Well, later on, that's what you're going to think about. There are so many aspects to the history of a character and what ends up being their legacy.
And obviously, there's the actions of their life through the campaign and
there's certain things that can really stand out as epic moments of that character's life that can
be held on to as a legacy but i don't think there's any way to overlook the their death as a
major proponent as to what their legacy is and so making that significant is important and that's on
the player as much as the GM, I think.
Yeah, and like if Baron goes, I keep using you, Grant, your character as an example,
because you're in the worst shape here.
But like if Baron dies in a moment like this, the murals that will be drawn of Baron
aren't going to be of him fighting the two skeletons and the fire giant that killed him.
It's going to be of all the heroic things he did up until this point.
And if you're able to save the world, that's what you'll be remembered for.
You sacrificed yourself and your friends were able to finish the job.
And if there's a TPK, there won't be shit drawn.
No.
Of anyone.
No one will know the story.
Someone has to survive.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know who'll draw the drawings?
The giants when they decorate their next room with images of them crushing.
Right.
It'll be like I Am Legend.
You'll be like they're Dracula.
They paint all these terrifying pictures of Baron the Dwarf with the fangs.
Yeah, I mean, this is tough.
This is a tough situation here. You had a good plan.
Obviously, I was giving you the business about
the surprise round, mainly because
we've never really done
a surprise round like that.
And
I think it was the right call.
I think as a GM, I get nervous
ever since I started GMing about
giving you guys too much of an edge.
But you can't do that. You've got to, like, you've got to give you that edge
because sometimes that edge is what you need to survive.
And I'm worried about the encounters being imbalanced.
But I think you were right.
And as you can see, it doesn't even fucking matter
because the giants are both alive.
Dalgrith failed miserably.
And even though Nestor was able to get some shots off,
he now has two of these giant flaming skeletons in his face.
I don't know if I even mentioned last week on air
that these are large skeletons taking up a 10-foot square.
They appear to be on fire.
It's bad news, bears.
I believe I wrote a little note for myself here.
One of the fire giants steps up.
Actually, no, doesn't need to step here. One of the fire giants steps up. Actually, no.
Doesn't need to step up. Right next to Dalgrith. Gonna do a full
on attack on Dalgrith.
The other one steps up.
Has to actually take a move action.
So, I don't know. Limited to a vital
strike on Baron. Oh, god
damn it. Then two of these giant
flaming skeletons come up.
They take a move action, but they are within reach of power attack strikes, Unbaron will say.
And then two other skeletons move action.
They also are going to try and land some power attack strikes.
And then, of course, at the end, this long fanged helmet,
At the end, this long fanged helmet, image of a long fanged helmet just stretches across the room like it's expanding off the door across the entire room.
Is it over us or is it below us?
It's below you.
It's on the floor.
Very ominous.
There's no effect from that Thus far, right?
You don't feel anything yet Certainly not
We haven't rolled a save
I would say it's emotionally
Concerning, if nothing else
Only emotion
Oh, that's not good
Hurry, help, this is really affecting my mood
Let's start
With the
With these skeletons Let's start with these skeletons.
Let's get them out of the way.
Wow, I'm really...
I think I have the shaking condition, and I'm GMing.
We're going to start with the ones on Nestor here.
Let's turn on power attack.
They are wielding Great swords
Oh man
Wow that's a lot of damage if they hit
Okay
Let's see what we got here
Oh I used
I automatically rolled my green die
Instead of the die I said I was going to use
23 to hit
That's a miss
That's a miss
Yeah Nestor
Yes Nestor
Let me go to the die that I was going to use
Come on
Come on
Second one goes to swing
That is huge by the way Natural Joe Oh god Uh Okay well Yes, Nestor. Let me go to the die that I was going to use. Come on, come on. Second one goes to swing.
That is huge, by the way.
Natural Joe.
Oh, God.
Okay, well, see, this is what I should have rolled.
That's a 35.
That's a hit.
That's a hit.
And Nestor's still hurt, right, from the trap?
No, no, I'm okay.
Healed up.
Yeah.
All right, let's talk.
No thanks to Grant.
Listen.
Nickel and diamond him on a wand of pure light.
He's looking at it and shoot him in the fucking kneecap.
I did.
Again.
You did.
32 points of damage.
Shit.
One point of fire damage.
Oh, so they're not that on fire.
You could do a s'more on them. That was just from the sword.
Let's talk about Baron here.
Same thing.
Two skeletons.
Each is going to take a swing.
And then we'll talk about the vital strike.
And we'll finish with Dalgry.
All right.
First skeleton.
Here we go.
This is so horrifying.
I'm nervous.
I am nervous.
I have actual butterflies right now.
All right.
That is a 33.
I will tell you they have the giant subtype.
Then that is exactly a hit.
Oh, lie.
Why about your AC?
I really wanted to.
He doesn't know how that defensive training works.
You could have just lied.
Oh, God.
Bad start.
33 points of damage.
Okay.
And max fire damage.
Six points of fire damage.
Okay.
Second one goes to swing. It's of fire damage. Okay. Second one goes
to swing. It's the power attack.
Oh, boy.
Okay. I think that is going to be
a miss of a 29. That is a miss.
All right. That's a lucky
break there. Skeletons are done this
round. They only got one attack because they had to move.
Oh, shit!
You know what? I'll save the vital
strike. Let's talk about a full attack on Dalgrith.
Let's just get this out of the way.
I'm going to put power attack on,
because I was told by a friend of mine
whose initials are GB
that you should always use power attack.
Yep, I did.
Here we go.
Only took you 300 episodes to figure it out.
Three attacks.
They crit 17 to 20.
What?
Just giving you a little...
Oh, no. Giving you a little heads up on how this is going to out. Three attacks. They crit 17 to 20. What? Oh no.
Giving you a little heads up on how this is gonna work.
First swing.
Oh!
19 on the die!
Die is
the key word here.
Because that's what you're gonna do, brother. To confirm,
it was the one with the highest base attack bonus
guaranteed confirm with a
37.
It is not a named character, so it's just, I mean.
It's okay.
Don't worry about the math.
It's single damage as Dalgrith rolls with it.
Oh.
And turns that crit into a normal hit.
Oh, boy.
Is that something you can just do for every crit or once a day?
Twice a day. Oh, man. I mean, it might have just for every crit or once a day? Twice a day.
Oh, man.
I mean, you might have just saved your life.
Wow.
Especially with power attack.
Well, no.
It doesn't matter, dude.
Like, if you're 17 to 20, two's not going to be enough.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
17 to 20?
Yeah.
Wow.
They got flaming swords?
What are they hitting them with?
No, they're just hitting them with great swords.
But they're...
These aren't your average fire giants.
These are the elites.
Yeah.
Okay.
I've lost count here.
45 points of regular damage.
Absolute rocks.
And then max fire.
Six points of fire.
Good thing you
avoided that crit.
How much damage?
45 regular.
Six fire.
I don't think they are flaming swords.
I think that they...
Like,
something about them
adds fire to them.
I have to look it up.
But it doesn't matter. You take fire damage. Second attack. Oh, interesting. I have to look it up. But it doesn't matter.
You take fire damage.
Second attack.
Oh, man, dude.
This die.
I'm going to be okay as long as you don't roll like an 18 or 19 or 20.
I think a 17 will miss on this attack.
But that's a crit.
Doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter if it misses.
Okay, the base attack keeps going down here.
Two more attacks.
Yeah, I think I'm all right.
Second attack.
Natural Joe.
Oh!
Yes!
I was like, what number is that?
Well, you've got to confirm it.
Okay.
Well, I think you might confirm it.
Oh, that is a 23.
Oh, please!
Please!
I mean, absolutely huge.
Do you know if you hadn't...
I don't even want to tell you how much damage that would have been had you not worked with it.
Oh, my God.
Come on, Nace.
Help me here.
Help me here.
All right.
This one from Ryan in Turlock.
Hi, Ryan.
California.
Hi, Ryan.
Welcome to the show.
Wow, how appropriate.
Curse of the cheesesteak.
Yeah.
As you attack, your body goes weak with hunger,
and you suddenly begin to crave a cheesesteak.
For the next 1D3 rounds, Joe must make all rolls for you.
Oh, no.
Including the 1D3, using his dice, no save.
Wow.
Wait, what 1D3?
For the next 1D3 rounds.
Oh, 1D3 rounds.
So I roll 1D3.
Wow.
Wow, this is, what a way to go, though, because this is when your luck could backfire.
I'll kill myself.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll 90-20 myself. Oh, yeah. I'll 90-20
myself. I rolled the d6
and then cut it in half. I can't believe the only bad
thing is I roll the die. This is
entertaining as hell. Oh, this is...
Fuck. Kudos to Ryan. Alright.
Alright, roll a... Christian, I hope that's your name. I'm bringing
out my, uh... Old... My new, uh...
die. Old Dino Raja.
My new Croatian die, and I need a...
Old Hino Turkoglu. Oh, wait. Well, we'll see.
I'm going to assume I'll roll poorly, so
one round. One round.
You get to roll.
Would you like to take the final attack? I will take the
final attack. It's very well balanced that he
also rolls the duration. Yeah, yeah.
Grits 17 to 20, O'Brien.
Alright. I'm just going to do it behind my screen.
Yeah, sure. Alright.
First attack, natural 20
Oh my god!
Oh my god
It is a
It is a
Joe's at the table and he's screaming at himself
This is so goddamn ridiculous
I can't even, dude.
It's real.
It is unbelievable.
It is real.
It is real.
Troy, I have a request.
Yes.
When we go to shows in the future, don't book me on the same plane as Joe.
Please.
Whatever happens.
I can't believe.
Believe the hype.
Oh, my God.
Before I roll this confirmation roll, I'm going to lift the Joe O'Brien screen just a little bit.
Yeah?
This is the first time in,
I could be more than a year,
that on my way to the session,
I made my backup character.
Really?
Because I had a funny feeling.
And I did.
Wow.
Wow.
Yeah.
I totally did that too.
You did?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I thought you were going to say the first time in a long time walking to the session,
an old witch came out of an alley.
I'm like, you're going to die tonight.
Finger on my face.
Roll to confirm.
To confirm.
This is the least possible chance to confirm, right?
It's your third attack.
Natty, five.
So not a confirmed crit.
Not a confirmed crit a confirmed enormous huge enormous
power attack damage so attack damage doesn't joe get to roll this uh i think you just rolled a hit
right uh i think it's all die but uh i don't really care let me let me look it up uh ryan
might care joe must make all rolls for you oh yeah. So just give me the die. Roll 3d6 and then roll another d6.
All right.
So the little one will be fire.
So 3d6.
1, 1, 3.
Wow.
So that's five and then one fire.
All right.
Roll 3, 1.
36 points of regular damage.
And one point of fire.
Wow.
Wow.
Okay, that worked in Joe's favor.
That's good.
Wow.
And you still have that one get out of crit free card left.
Now we'll finish my onslaught with a vital strike on Baron.
Oh, gosh.
Two critical threats you rolled.
Oh, God.
To be fair, you rolled one of them.
That's true.
This is very intense.
Okay.
Sorry, go ahead.
I was going to say, I don't see anything that says you can't roll Vital Strike and Power Attack.
No, I think that you can.
Yeah.
Power Attack is something that takes place over multiple attacks.
Vital Strike is something that just replaces acts as if multiple attacks
basically. Alright, here we go. Oh, you know what it does
though? Obviously it's a less chance to hit.
So. Yep, as long as they're both
the same type of attack
melee and... Here we go.
Here it comes. Lower base
attack bonus with the power attack. I'm gonna roll
the dice as it were.
See if this Vital Strike
lands!
That is
going to be
a 30 to hit. Not a hit!
Would a 34 have hit?
Absolutely. So if I hadn't
done power attack, that would have hit.
Really?
Everyone lives. Your power attack is
minus 4 plus eight.
Woo!
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
That damage.
I mean, a crit there.
But think about, think about what is your crit times?
Times three, times two?
Times two.
So that's an additional 16 if you hit.
That would have been 12d6 plus 62.
Wow.
Wow.
That's a lot.
Oh, boy. Uh, okay. Yes. That's a lot. Oh, boy.
Okay.
Yes, that's a lot.
Well observed, Skid.
Everyone has survived their first round of attack.
This is a huge round for you guys.
It goes Baron, Metra, Nestor, Dalgrith.
Baron, what do you do?
Holy shit.
Baron just swings
To his left right as this sword
Goes right past his face
Flaming
Faster than you've ever seen it
And probably some whiskers it almost knocks a ring
Out of his beard
He steps back still in contact with
Metra outside of range
And he is going
To get up close and deadly
in addition to taking a full round attack action on the giant that just swung at him.
Okay.
You are still within its reach.
Oh, I am.
Yes.
If I moved instead of the five-foot direction I did diagonally,
what if I did a five-foot step?
Now you're good.
All right.
Moving farther away, backing into that alcove.
Remember last week I said there was like a stylized volcano with lights that look like
magma, but they're just jewels encrusted on the wall?
You're right up against that.
Here we go.
Come on, Bear Bear.
Come on, dude.
Not a misfire, but it is only a 17 to hit 17 against touch that is a hit all right so this
is up close and deadly as well i'm gonna need to borrow some d6s guys can someone help me out with
some d6s i'm sorry i can't prepare this for evening how many do you need uh just two more
oh okay thank you okay so that is a total of 37 points of damage on the first attack.
That's a good one.
Huge magooge.
Going away from power attack on the second of my full round attack.
So this guy's got like 43 left or something like that.
I hope so.
Well, maybe our good friend Nestor could tell us
if he didn't have two flaming fire.
Maybe he's got 53.
53 left.
All right, that is also a hit.
This is not up close and deadly.
This is going to be 5.
That's 26
points of damage. Okay.
This will kill him, dude. This kills him
if you hit him!
15 against Touch AC is a hit.
Three to tap!
Five.
23 points of damage.
Dead.
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
One down,
five to go.
Holy shit,
I have one shot left.
Yes.
Can I shoot at the one
Dalgrith is engaged with?
Yep,
you'll get a little bonus,
um,
give it a plus two to it.
Bone, bone.
Okay, this is my lowest attack.
Bone, bone.
Natural one.
Oh, no.
Caca.
But the good news is all I have to do is crit fumble.
Yeah, let's see if you confirm the fumble.
Definite misfire, but I'm not a definite misfire because of the spider on the end of my barrel.
But I'm saying a technical misfire.
15 to hit.
15, so not a fumble.
And then obviously the spider can clear it out.
Yep.
Okay, okay.
Wow.
Wow.
Good round, though.
Hell of a round.
That giant has been hit, but not by you this time.
Yep.
Let's move on to Metra.
Metra, just a quick reminder, this room is very well lit.
Yes.
Fully lit.
Limit some of the things I can do.
Just throwing it out there.
This is a lit room.
How would you describe the room, Troy?
I would say it's pretty well lit.
Say it's fucking lit, Troy.
Overall.
Thank you, Joe, for picking up on what I was putting down.
Hanks playing on the jukebox.
Pigs playing on the jukebox?
Well, Baron steps into
a spot that kind of makes this
a little bit of a briny pickle.
It's always Baron's fault and Matthew's mine.
So I go and then when does
Dalgrith go? Last.
After the giant? No. No, it goes Nester
and then Dally-Dow-Dow.
Okay, then we're fine. Okay, so Metro
is going to step through Baron's
base and down around, staying out of the reach of the Skeletors.
Quick question, Baron.
Attack of opportunity?
Yes, please.
Oh, I have a gun.
I don't have the feet yet.
Oh, shit.
You could pistol whip.
Please.
All right, go ahead.
Let me see what I get.
Natural 20.
Natural 20.
I'm going to attack.
I'm going to roll the jaw.
All right, hold on.
Let's see.
10 on the die. I'm so sorry.
Wow. And Metro is going to grab
Baron's hand and reach out to Dalgrith and say,
Dalgrith!
And now we're ready in action. Okay.
Oh, shit.
When Dalgrith acts, if or if
he does not take my hand, I will
cast a spell. Wow.
Wow. Nestor,
a hundred feet away, alone.
Where is this gonna go? It is
Nestor's turn. Nestor, you've got two of these
giant, flaming
skeletons up in your biz-ness.
Okay. Uh,
so, one of them, foop, swung
down on him. He dodges
aside. The other one, choom, like,
hits me right across the side.
Uh, Nestor is...
He's going to run.
He is going to use an
ability that he has called
Slayer's Advance to move double his
movement speed as one move action.
And he's going to
get 60 feet away.
Do you have to roll acrobatics
to avoid the attack of opportunity from them uh
oh um shit yeah i was thinking i thought i was thinking i was gonna do a full withdrawal but
then i can't i can't do that i can't do what i was gonna do if you yeah i mean you could full
withdraw not incur or use this power You still incur with full withdraw anyway.
You do?
Yeah, because their reach.
I think that they were both, he was at the extent of both of their reach.
Oh, okay, great.
Yeah, yeah.
So full withdraw, you're fine.
If you want to do this cool thing and then attack,
then you've got to roll acrobatics to avoid from both of them.
But then you also can't move 60 feet, you can only move 30.
No, but I'm doing Slayer's Advance.
No, because you have to move half speed when you use acrobatics to avoid attacks.
Oh, that's like a full withdrawal.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm just going to full withdrawal.
It's probably the smart thing.
I mean, you saw what that one hit did.
You don't know how many attacks it has.
Well, my plan was like I was going to get out of the room and try to draw them away
and just fire at them, like kite them away from the others.
Yeah.
But that's not really going to work.
So, yeah, I'm actually going to move a little further then.
Okay.
I'm going to move the rest of my 30 feet and get further back into the corridor outside the room.
Okay.
From whence we came.
Okay.
Hey, that is probably the smart move here because now if they want to give chase,
they might not be able to get to you within one round.
And even if they do, it's only one attack.
We don't know what their movement speed is yet.
It is Dalgrith's turn.
Dalgrith, you saw Baron light up one giant.
Miss.
Feeling confident now.
The other one, Metra steps, touches Baron,
and then reaches out her hand to you.
What do you do?
She calls Dalgrith! Well, I mean,
he's gotten sliced and diced, took 100 points
of damage in that round.
Nearly 100 points of damage.
So he knows he's worse
for the wear. What are they wielding?
Ginsu knives? It slices! It dices!
Seriously.
I just imagine him up on this great beast hanging
on to some piece of its equipment and he'll just he pulls himself up near this dude's fucking ear
and he's just like i'll be back you great bloody bastard and he just flips back off of the giant
i'll roll uh to avoid an attack of opportunity uh as he moves back to get in the square next to Metra.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
Is that not technically a five-foot step?
I'm on the creature, so there's no way I'm saying that's a five-foot step.
But it's a 44 acrobatics.
You're okay.
He pushes off, does a backflip, lands next to Metra, reaches out a hand, and grabs Metra's hand.
Metra is like, where is Nestor?
I don't know!
I can't see past this bloody mask
covering the whole hallway!
Is that true?
Yeah, I don't know.
I just imagine this weird illusion.
Oh, I thought it was hovering all through the air.
No, no.
Okay.
Yeah, you could have seen me run out of the room.
That's what I'm trying to ascertain.
Does Metra know Nestor is not in the room anymore?
Because she can't see from the alcove where she is.
I could see from where I was.
You want me to roll a perception?
I mean, there's...
On top of the giant you saw over the top.
That makes sense.
As I was backflipping, there's no reason to think you didn't see Nestor run out of the room.
He ran back out of the room, Mettra!
Take us out of the hallway fast!
Excellent.
And that triggers M triggers Metro's action.
And she'll cast Dimension Door. Okay.
And she will put us... Let me just...
I gotta zoom out this map. This map is just too big.
This map is huge. Huge.
Not knowing how far it is, she'll put us
just on the other side of the open
door. Okay. Oh.
And you see Nestor now, uh...
You know, about
40, 50 feet away from you,
um, going back up the hallway
from whence you came. Bleeding.
Bleeding. Um, actually,
yeah, no, uh,
I would give us a little
more room.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
All right, all right, um, It is the skeleton's turn
Technically Dogwreath has another action
Oh no, you did, right?
You took your two actions?
Uh, sure
Okay
I mean, I just moved
But I put out my hand to yours
Held your hand
Run is a full round action, right?
Run is a full action, full action all right um has
to be a straight line an unbroken straight line unbroken straight line looks like one of them
can run uh directly at you so it does so we could also charge and swing if it if it has 30 feet of
movement uh that was yeah actually thanks jo. Thanks for the heads up there.
That's gonna work just fine.
It's gonna... Because it has that 10-foot
reach, so it's able to go... Shit!
Let's see who's up front. Oh, it's Dalgrith.
Let's take a charging
attack, but hey, minus two to its AC for the
rest of the round. Son of a bitch.
Plus two to hit, though. It's true.
It's a guaranteed hit. Leap power attack
on... Here we go. hit, though. It's true. It's a guaranteed hit. Leap power attack on...
Here we go.
Oh, boy.
Oh.
Eddie, 16.
Oh.
All right, so that...
Wait, do they...
They don't crit 17 to 20.
No, they don't.
Just 19 to 20.
You bastard.
Like losers.
Oh, pretty good damage.
That's going to be 35 points of damage and four fire.
Remember that their AC is lower by two because I will forget.
And then the other one,
the one can actually make some pretty good distance here.
It's getting to be a crowded hallway.
It's getting a little crowded.
I agree with you, Grant.
Squeezing into a space that can't fit. It's getting to be a crowded hallway. It's getting a little crowded. I agree with you, Grant, but...
Squeezing into a space that can't fit.
Yeah, where Buddy is there, because he had to charge in a straight line,
he actually can't...
Unless he could bull rush someone back.
Yeah, he is going to move and be squeezing right in that space next to him and be right next to Metra, Dalgrith, and Baron.
But he is, like, right up against Metra and Dalgrith
and a little bit farther away from Baron.
Jeepers.
And he'll take a...
I'm going to give him a little penalty to his AC
because of the way that rock formation, the rock wall,
is kind of creeping ever so a little bit into that space.
I'll give him a minus one instead of a minus two.
It's just a tiny bit, and he's going to take a swing at Metra
with Power Attack on, if that's all right.
Oh, man, I got my new die.
I think I got my new die.
36 to hit?
Yeah.
Okay.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
And that guy, that was only 30 feet he moved?
Or his speed is like 50 feet?
Sorry, you're right.
See, it works both ways.
No, I do it both ways.
I double moved.
Okay.
Wow.
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
I got so excited.
For clarity's sake,
are they using match for weapons
or are they using weapons
to attack us?
They're using great swords.
Yeah, that's why it's 19 to Twanzoni.
Yeah, I was just trying
to get them to have reach property
so that they couldn't hit
like that close.
I had some serious bloodlust there.
I was going to move twice and attack.
You were fiending.
What is this, second attention?
Shut up.
Shut up.
All right.
Two more skellies and one more fire giant.
They are going to just close the distance
as best they can.
They're going to kind of pile up near
the door, and then the fire giant
stays towards the
middle of the room, just kind of watching
and seeing what your tactics
are going to be for this fight.
It's a new round. It's Baron's
turn. Baron, you've got a couple
fire giants near you.
One right on top of you.
And they're literally on fire.
I am so torn like Natalie Imbruglia because I want to heal my buddy Dalgrith, but I'm within reach.
Nothing's fine.
I'm torn.
I want to just clarify that you're not lying naked on the floor?
No, no. That'll be later tonight when I'm thinking about how this battle turned out.
I'm thinking about how long you played Baron.
What a good character he was for so long.
Before he dies.
Until today.
I'm all out of faith.
This is how I feel.
This is how I feel.
If he ever dies, we have to play that song instead of the sad one.
Are you cold or afraid?
Yeah, lying naked on the floor.
I am going to begin this.
You know that's a cover, right?
Is it really?
Yeah.
The original is actually like a very melancholy version of that song.
I love that song.
That album was fantastic. i think i got it
from columbia house back in the day oh yeah oh yeah 10 10 albums for how long how long were the
collection agencies after you know trying to find roy trevally
all we ask is one penny and uh your credit rating for the rest of your life
so we're baroness standing he's outside of the reach of the flaming fire giant, correct?
The one that is threatening Dalgrith and Metra?
You mean the one that's...
Oh, no.
Right now you're within its reach.
It's 10 feet reach.
All right.
So if you step away...
I'm going to take one five foot step backwards.
Cool.
I'm going to call down...
Please.
That's still within range.
You want to go back here instead.
Okay, perfect.
Here being like just more diagonally away.
Toreg, I've never been in so much trouble before.
I need you to help me and my companions and even that dastardly Nestor if you can.
Help us out of this to save the small folks.
Judgment of sacred protection plus two on top
of this bad bitch
named Baron.
There's nothing where I used to lie.
Conversation has run dry.
That's what's going on.
It's so lame.
Please, Toreg, I need
to make it to Lilith Fair.
So, here we go.
Come on, dude.
Natural 20.
Natural 17. Yes! That's what I call hit town population
barone.
That is... Population
barone. That is 26
points of damage. Yep, and that
gets past their DR.
Okay.
Here we go again.
Get it! Natural 20! Oh! go again Natural 20
Natural 20
Insta death
To confirm
Six on the die for a 20 against Touch A
Sizzle
Touch A Sizzle
Look for a crit that uses the word
Torn in the title
We'll wait
I don't see it, sorry Alright, this one from Andrew crit that uses the word torn in the title. We'll wait.
I don't say it, sorry.
All right, this one from Andrew in Florida.
Andrew G. in Florida.
You take a moment before firing to mentally recite a personal creed,
which you just literally did.
I just did. Wow.
Causing your weapon to strike true into your enemy's vitals.
Double damage and roll a D3.
On a one, you strike your enemy in the eye, blinding them.
On a two, you strike your enemy in the head, dazing them.
On a three, you strike your enemy in the heart,
causing triple damage instead of double.
Oh, man.
So quintuple damage.
Five times damage.
Wow.
All right, so roll the D3 first.
Roll the D3 first. Roll the D3 first.
You want to roll an actual D3?
Sure.
Yeah, absolutely.
Our D3 from our good buddy Dylan in Portland.
Denny Ports.
Oh, Matthew had a hole in one.
He threw it into my dice holder.
That was amazing.
All right, get a three.
One.
Okay, so you hit it in the eye blind for one D3 rounds.
Fortitude save negates.
Okay, so do you want to do that fortitude save?
I guess you could say that it's immune because it's undead.
They are immune to anything that requires fortitude.
Okay, so it's just quadruple damage.
Just quadruple damage.
It's definitely quadruple damage.
Yeah, it's double damage for everything except if he rolls a three on the d3 Then it's quintuple damage
Yeah
Here it comes
You know what? I think Baron looks at him and says
Illusion never changed
Into something real
But this pain's about to, you son of a bitch
Uh
Uh
He's typing out his damage
Come on, dude, get it Uh, that's a solid He's typing out his damage.
Come on, dude.
Get it.
That's a solid 100 points of damage.
Oh, my God.
100 flat.
That is a pile of dust.
Yeah!
Oh, blew its skull right off.
I love it. Wow, the flames just fizzle out as the skeleton crashes to the ground.
Okay, and I still have...
Was that my second attack?
Yeah, second attack.
30 feet away. That is now
out of my first range increment because
of using Della.
So I will...
I'm going to spend one more grip point
to resolve against regular AC.
Okay. Oh, and it's going to get a plus
two there for shooting through Dalgrith.
Okay. Regular AC
and a plus two. I say still
hits. Touch AC. Touch AC.
And plus two. I'm spending that grip point to be able to do that.
There we go. Here we go. Here we go.
Okay. That is a hit. That is a
20 to hit. That is a hit. Okay.
Let me get all the...
25 points of damage.
Okay.
Can we make a compilation of Grant just adding up his damage? Yeah, sorry.
One day I'll automate it.
And then the final one, I'm just rolling for a twonzo.
Going against regular AC minus two.
Don't roll a natural onezo, though.
I rolled a natural seven-zoney.
Oh, yeah.
So that's a...
What is that?
It's against regular AC, so that is a nine against regular AC.
That is thankfully a miss.
Oh, boy.
What is your minimum to hit with your maximum attack bonus that isn't a misfire?
Do you misfire one to three or one to two?
One to three.
What's a four on the die?
A four while I'm rapid shotting and
when I also have on one of
your last attack. I've deadly aim
on as well. Yeah. So
with deadly aim on and
rapid fire minimum
hit without misfiring is
a 18. Wow, that's crazy.
That's great. Jerry, you gotta
go to school of Grant's characters.
What do you think my backup character is?
Another gunslinger? Another dwarf gunslinger.
Oh boy. You can call us
Tango and Cash. I'm not
going anywhere. Dalgrith is dying today.
I'll see to it.
Could you imagine
if as each of us died
we just replaced
our character
with a dwarven gunslinger?
So it's just like...
No, but they all
have to multi-class
in something useful
like a little bit
of mage here
for some magic.
Yeah, because gunslinger
hasn't been the useful
part of your character.
No, you gotta get
some other stuff done.
I mean, we could be
like the Power Rangers.
Are you seven and seven? I'll be an elementalist.
Are you 7 and 7 right now?
7 and 7, baby.
7 and 7.
Secret 7 and 7.
It's Nestor's turn.
Nestor, you chose wisely, and Metro was able to bring the rest of your party out into this room,
drawing the skeletons, completing your plan.
Yeah, that worked out.
drawing the skeletons, completing your plan.
Yeah, that worked out.
So Nestor is going to do swift action,
study target on the one skelly boy that's in the hallway here.
Okay.
He was a skelly boy.
And he's going to draw back Ojo-Tak
and take a many shot with his first attack.
That is a 34 to hit.
That is a hit. And. That is a hit.
And this is
probably a DR against this
attack being a skeleton against my piercing
piercing, yeah.
I wonder if they're immune to electricity
or have resistance.
They might be.
So it's 40 regular damage
and 9
electricity damage.
Okay.
Quick thing here that I forgot.
It's actually very important.
When Baron killed that skeleton.
Oh, explosion.
No, I did it, dude!
It explodes.
I need Della. Oh, I need to make this reflex save.
And Dalgrith to roll a reflex save.
If I don't make this reflex save, it's so huge, and I'll explain why after I don't make it.
All right.
27 for Metro.
God damn it.
Come on, Dalgrith!
24.
All right.
It is going to be half damage for both of you.
Oh, thank God.
I need a lot of D6s, though.
I forgot this, but it's important because while Nestor's firing away,
let me just check the range on this.
Yeah, that was just the two of you.
Oh, boy.
Okay, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18.
So only nine points of fire damage.
Really low rolls.
Zero points for old Deathbringer.
Old Deathbringer takes zero.
Okay.
Nestor.
Nestor.
You may continue.
All right.
You may fire.
Fire when ready.
I'm just going to take a second shot.
That's a cock die.
That is a 90-15 for 32.
32 is going to hit.
Even sneaking it past Algorith there gets eyes.
Guys, that...
Wait, wasn't it Metra's turn?
Did you skip Metra's turn?
No, I moved in the initiative order because I'm ready to action.
Got it.
Oh, so you're after me?
Yeah.
And that is 20 points of damage,
four of which is electricity.
Okay.
And he's going to take a bead.
One final shot.
That's probably a miss. That's seven...
No, 18 to hit.
18 is a miss.
Yes, 18 is a miss. Yes, 18 is a miss.
Okay.
But didn't kill it.
It looks like it's pretty worse for the wear, however.
Okay.
And it is Dalgoth's turn.
And I would tell you all exactly how many hit points it had.
However, that ability, Blood Reader, only works against living targets.
Right, right, right.
Of course.
It has no blood to read.
We must resurrect these giants.
Yeah.
That's the only solution.
Joey Jojo, what are you thinking, bud?
Dog Wraith is going to turn to Metra and say,
Metra, I'm done for.
He's like bleeding all over.
He's just like,
Step back.
I need the room.
Save yourself!
And he's asking you to get out of that square,
and he's gonna ready an action.
But then you can do whatever you want.
Can I respond out of turn?
Yeah, it's pretty easy to talk.
What are you thinking?
We've got a lot of tricks up our sleeves yet.
Don't do anything stupid.
I just, uh,
I'm not gonna run away Metra
I'm gonna fight to the last
And I can take out both of them if I
Well maybe can't kill them but I can hurt them both
If I can get right where you're standing
Um okay Metra is going to
Look at Dogree strangely
But doesn't really have time to argue
So she will uh first
The other thing is
we can ping pong ready to actions
here. So I have a ready to action
which is just if you step out
of that square. You can also ready
an action. You can move and then ready
an action if you want to wait till after what I do
and see what I do. That's true. I will
do that actually. Oh. Well
let me just check the
range of what I was thinking.
A little ping pong teleport action.
Okay, that's fine.
Metro will move back down the hallway
to stand between Nestor and Baron
and ready in action that she will,
depending on what Dalgrith does,
she will cast a spell.
Okay, and unlike Dalgrith,
you are not within the reach of this creature,
so you are able to get away without provoking.
That's what Dalgrith wanted, like, just in case,
but I don't think it's going to, he's not that optimistic.
But he's going to go down on the next hit, guaranteed.
So there's no point in trying here.
He's just going to...
I had a solution, but okay.
He's going to give it his last.
Okay.
So he's going to take a five-foot step,
which he needed that square to get out.
Away from the...
Attack of opportunity.
Skeleton.
From the creature, yes.
A five-foot step away into the square that Metro once held,
and then he is going to reach out through his headband
and fire off a cone of cold.
Oh, perfect.
And these two lazy skeletons.
So you're able to hit the one that Nestor just lit
up and the one just beyond the door.
And the one just beyond the door. So a reflex
save, if you please. Okay.
DC 16.
Let me get the die that's been good. The one
that Nestor hit, first one,
passed
with an 18. Fucking reflex
saves on these fucking giants.
Second one passed as well.
Oh, come on.
That's so fucking stupid and pointless.
So what's the turn?
Nine points of damage.
Oh, God.
What?
Well, here's the good news.
18 on 7d6.
18 on 7d6.
It's enough to kill the one that Nestor was attacking.
Oh, right.
Now I've got to do a reflex save.
You are not adjacent to it. Oh, you only have to be adjacent to it. Oh, okay. Now I've got to do a reflex save. You are not adjacent to it.
Oh, you only have to be adjacent to it.
Oh, okay, okay.
So that one dies, and then the other one looks like it's exceptionally hurt by it, as if
it was vulnerable to cold, perhaps.
So it'll take half again.
So that's going to be 13 points of damage, and it breaks through the DR since it's energy
damage.
So that's going to be 13 points of damage, and it breaks through the DR since it's energy damage. So two skeletons down, one fire giant down, two and one left.
Was that a full round action?
Well, yeah, it's a standard action.
Are you going to move away now?
He did.
I had to move to get out of the AOO range.
Oh, I thought I could barely look like you moved on the map.
I'm sorry.
I took a five foot seven.
That other one is exactly 30 feet away, and this version
is only a 30 foot cone.
Oh my god.
Not a 60 foot cone, so I had to stay that close.
However, it triggers my action.
Okay.
Oh.
Right.
So I need your skeleton standing in the doorway to please roll a reflex save.
Okay, come on, come on!
It's gonna be the hungry pit!
Get him in the pit!
Oh, I don't know, buddy.
Oh, shit.
17.
Fail.
Oh, yes.
What is it?
It's hungry pit.
Yeah.
And there's only one way through.
Oh, I love it.
Hungry pit.
That goddamn pit.
You want to roll your own falling damage?
No, please.
You roll it.
I'm going to draw the pit.
Wait.
Yep.
I was going to say, in the perfect spot to block the door.
Right, they're going to have to try and acrobat over.
Okay.
So it's 7d6, right?
Yeah.
Ooh.
He's doing okay.
Ooh.
He's doing okay So it's going to take
19 points of falling damage
Okay 19 points of falling
Nice
And then
What do we actually say
The walls contract on my turn
That's what we've said in the past
What does it say in the text
Each round I wonder if it's like bleed that happens on my turn. That's what we've said in the past. What does it say in the text? It says the average... Each round.
Each round, yeah. Yeah, I wonder if it's like bleed that
happens on their turn, but
just do it on your turn and we'll stay consistent with it.
That's all that really matters. Okay, so you want me to roll it now?
Yeah, roll it now. Okay.
Oh.
Oh!
That takes 18 points of bludgeoning damage
as the pit contracts. Oh!
That's one of your best hungry pits.
That pit was famished.
It is hungry, hungry.
Hungry, hungry pity.
It takes 18 points of damage as it is slowly digested over a thousand years.
A thousand years.
All right, well, it's his turn.
Let's start with him.
First of all, fuck you, Matthew.
Let's see what its climb skill
is I don't want to cast hungry pit every
fight but I also don't want my friends to
die yeah no I I hear you
um I think it's fine
what is the DC to climb
DC 35
that's insane
the walls are ever
shifting because it's like a stomach
if I just double move and make the check, I can move my speed.
You move half your speed.
No, but if I double, I move full speed.
No, you move a quarter speed when you climb.
Yeah.
So if you double move, you move half of your land speed.
So absolutely brutal.
You're never going to be seen again.
Okay.
Hey, guys, remember that skeleton we fought?
Yeah.
Just play act his rounds.
Baron's drinking a carton of milk the next day,
and there's a picture of that giant in the back of it.
It's just like, what?
What?
It stands up and attempts to climb,
and it's scraping at the walls.
It's not able to do anything.
The other ones turn there.
If you'll notice, there's a tiny little
space there. Right
there where it can sneak by.
I'm going to say that it's going to restrict
its movement, though, so all it's going to be
able to do is get into the room.
Difficult terrain?
Because it has to move through five feet? Get into the room
right up against Dalgrith, but it won't be able
to attack. Jesus!
This is flaming skeleton.
That's just the size of this room.
It was
tricky, but saving a round from it
getting able to attack is huge right now.
Let's talk about this fire giant here.
He is... What's he thinking?
He's a little farther away than I'd like him
to be.
He can't run, and I don't trust
his acrobatics to jump over this but he got it he's got to be a
hero man yeah you want to guard what's on the other side of that door let the mass do his
business come on he wants to let people know uh how badass he is so he's going to do the same
thing he's going to move up and i hate this but it's like, this is the benefit of what you've done.
In order for him to get in the room with you,
he's got to be right next to the skeleton,
which leaves him vulnerable to AoE,
but he's going to do it, and then neither of them can attack.
Shit, that's their round.
Let's move on to next round, Baron.
Okay.
next round Baron okay
um
by the way I don't know if those giants could squeeze through there
you don't think so?
I think I'm just reading it now
squeezing rules you can squeeze through or into
a space that is at least half as wide
as your normal space
they can only squeeze through things
that are actual five foot squares
and if that's less than a five foot squares I don't think they can squeeze it's a maybe you can make them tiptoe if you want
to flavor it i think there's like if i was dming i would let him just walk over it with that that
right there's stride okay i like the stride part of it i like that but they're not they're not
trying to like squeeze into it yeah they're not edging along like a window. I had the movement to make the attack.
I'm making it as hard as possible for them to get over there.
I apologize.
I just had to get it out there.
I appreciate it.
The fight's hard enough.
Baron is going to go,
God damn it, Dalgorth.
I'm not going to let you die today.
And he's going to fire out at this bastard.
Misfire.
Oh, no. Spider goes down the gun. It's a two. It's not a f bastard. Misfire. Oh, no.
Spider goes down the gun.
It's a two.
It's not a fumble.
We're good.
Okay.
And you're firing at the skeleton?
Yes.
Okay.
Second attack.
Oh, so you don't even lose a round with the spider?
Like, it doesn't end the round.
It's a free action, he said.
Let me just check here.
Avoid a misfire.
Let's see how many times it can do it in a round.
Wow.
That is remarkable and amazing.
Oh, ho, ho.
Almost snuck one past the old goalie, Berger.
Fuck.
This thing can be used once per day for one minute.
And correct me if I'm wrong, I think you used it in the fight with Skirkabla.
Absolutely.
And the Dooley.
Yeah.
And the Dooley Dooley.
The Dooley.
The Doola. your cod love and the dually. The dually. And the dually doodoo. The doula.
You weren't able to use it earlier,
but it's too late. Hands off the chest piece.
However, I won't let you use it now.
Fuck. Oh, this is terrible.
So do you want to just shoot
and see if Dell explodes in your hands? Nope.
Moving right along,
it is now... Wait, how many shots
did I take, though? Was that the first one?
Yeah, that was the first one.
I'm going to use a grip point to move action,
quick clear my gun.
Okay.
Quick clear, move action.
So that's your round.
Smart.
How much grit are you sitting on there for me?
One left.
I was going to say a lot of grit.
This guy is true grit.
It's already with that adjustment.
Already with that. Thank you for is? Okay. Already with that.
Wow.
Thank you for that, though.
Wow.
Just burning grit like midnight oil.
It is Nestor Coyne's turn.
All right.
Nestor is, Metra's next to him, and he does a swift action study target on the one remaining
living fire giant.
Smart.
And he shouts out, I'll bet your friends
the skeletons get a bit lonely
down there in that pit.
Won't you join him?
And he's going to
pull back two arrows,
do a blowback shot.
That is a natty 14
for a 36 to hit.
That is a hit.
And this is a lot of math.
Hold on one second.
Let me get my graphing calculator.
Let's go with the math.
The math sound.
We need a math drop.
Another 42 points of regular damage and two points of electricity damage.
Just throwing this out there.
First time that giant's been hit in this episode.
Yes, I know.
Yeah.
You're following along at home.
Brutal.
Brutal.
Which is everyone except us.
Second attack. Yes.
Boom. Natural 20.
Oh!
There you go.
You got the greenest shot in town here.
To confirm?
That is a 20 to confirm.
Unconfirmed.
Oh, no!
Exploding Diz-Eyes. Okay.
Explode. Come on. S sip on that scissor Nestor
Oh Grant has all my D8s
Oh sorry I have them here take them
Should have had a D8
You make that joke every third
Every time
V8s are delicious
They're pretty good I love a Bloody Mary
Salt
We get the low sodium V8 And then we It's just salt. We get the low-sodium V8?
All right.
And then we put hot sauce in it, too. We get the vegan V8?
It's good.
I prefer the one made with pig hooves.
I'll have the V8 Bolognese, please.
That is 19 points of regular damage and 9 points of electricity damage.
Okay, no explosions?
No explosions. Might have been one of electricity damage. Okay, no explosions? No explosions.
Might have been one of my pants.
Pants.
Final shot.
Weird reaction to that.
I think that's a hernia, Troy, and you should have it looked at.
I need to get this looked at.
Final shot is a miss.
Oh, no.
But how many hit points does he have, Troy?
Well, I'm glad you and your awful, shitty, horrible, should-be-banned-from-the-game feat asked.
107 hit points for me.
Okay.
I say I yell that out in relative terms to the world we live in.
That's one round for Baron.
He's three to four strikes away.
Baron, three shots from you.
A few bullets in the head should do him well.
Eight or nine rounds from Dalgrith.
One or two shots from Bane.
Just let me prepare a sneak attack with no other melee opponents.
It's Dalgrith's turn, and oddly enough, this has not happened yet,
because none of you have started your turn adjacent to the skeleton.
But Dalgrith is right there.
Are we talking some flaming corona action?
Some aura?
We're talking a little fiery aura here.
Aura.
Four points of fire damage because you start adjacent to it.
It's just burning you alive.
What do you do?
He's down to the end here.
He can do nothing.
He can do nothing.
Jump on his back, take some more fire damage.
He's going to do...
First, he's going to do... First,
he's going to do an acrobatics check to avoid
an attack of opportunity.
Okay.
Right straight up against it, C.M.
Dizzoni.
Right up against it, C.M. Dizzoni.
Got it. Okay. Then he's going
to move into a threatened square
next to it, which is now threatened by
the fire giant that came up behind him. It's a weird way to avoid it. He's then going to move out into a threatened square next to it which is now threatened by the fire giant that came up behind him it's a weird way to he's then going to move out of that square rolling again to
avoid another attack by the dc goes up that's second edition i don't know if that's in first
edition okay then uh yeah just uh it might be but i'm not sure uh it's close, we'll look it up. That's a 41. You're fine. Okay. And then,
as he, so he steps
into a square that he doesn't need to
for some stupid reason, and then
steps away, provoking again,
but rolling the acrobatic trick to
tumble and avoid. These guys, they can't
get a hold of Dogwraith. In that square
that he leaves, he leaves an illusion
of himself. Oh, right.
Fighting them. Lose your illusion,
Axel! And then he comes back
next to Baron,
and it's just, turns to look at him
again, missing a tooth,
blood pouring out of his mouth, spits
on the ground, I'm with you to the end, brother.
Take him out.
Now, by moving again,
you still have to roll another acrobatics
because you are leaving another threatening space by the skeleton.
No, because for one opponent, one move action, you don't provoke twice.
But it was a second opponent who I walked into and out of.
That's why I rolled twice.
Then you're great. I've left the illusion there.
I love the idea because if they tried to swing down at that space and they missed,
they couldn't rear back and swing at every square.
That makes total sense to me.
Well, unless they had combat reflexes.
But still, it's like one...
If they had combat reflexes... No.
One move action does not provoke multiple
attacks, except from...
You have to roll for multiple opponents if you move through
multiple opponents. Right.
Yeah, no, that makes sense.
For some reason, because it seems so complicated,
I felt like that second one would provoke, but no, you're good.
And I've left the image there right next to the skeleton.
So I had to get into that square because basically if I put the illusion
in the first square I was in, the other fire giant wouldn't see it.
Right.
So the idea is try to get them both confused for a round, maybe.
Metro, big turn.
Start with the hungry pit damage just so we don't forget.
Good idea, Troy.
Man, you roll a lot of D6s.
It's 15 points of bludgeoning damage.
Nice.
The pit is just so hungry.
Yeah, and of course it's bludgeoning, so it all goes straight through.
That guy's in bad shape.
Okay.
What are you thinking here?
Well, we're in a little bit of an elongated arrangement here.
Yes. So if I wanted to, say, in a little bit of an elongated arrangement here. Yes.
So if I wanted to say, you know, do a little battlefield control, move us around, make it tough on you, I can't take everybody with me.
Yeah, it's tough.
You can't take everybody with you sometimes.
They say that.
That's what they say.
They sure do.
I also, I feel like this is not our last fight for the day.
And I should be a little bit...
Might be Dalgrys.
Last fight of his life.
I know, that's what I'm most concerned about.
Might want to discuss that with your team after the fight.
Go ahead and use everything.
I mean, I'm going to save you in one fashion or another.
It's just a question of how I save you.
You always do, Metra.
You always do. This is like a question of how I save you. You always do, Metra. You always do.
This is like blood pouring out of his left eye.
Holding his eyeball in.
So
Metra is going to turn to
Nestor and whisper
it would be best to
disappear a bit. And then she's going
to step up behind Dogwreath and Baron
grab them both,
and blink out of existence and
dimension door back into the other room.
Classic. Oh, wow!
Metro!
Which one was the illusion, Troy?
The illusion.
They once disappeared.
So you guys go back
into the room with the mask
on the other side of the pit? Yeah. Wow.
Which is, I recognize a risk, but, you know, I don't want Dogger to die.
Yeah, I appreciate that, Metro.
That's a class act.
But what about that mask?
It's pretty bold.
I'm going to put us, from what I can see, I mean, this is...
Let's just go through the door.
Let's just fight the boss. I know. I'm going to I mean, this is... Let's just go through the door. Let's just fight the boss.
I know.
I'm going to put us in this...
No, I want to put us outside the reach of the giant
so Dalgrith can heal.
Okay, yeah, I'm going to put us back by the door
on the opposite door that the giants were guarding.
And as what I can see on the map,
this may not be true in real life.
That's not underneath the mask, but who knows.
Okay.
All right.
So you go pretty far into the room, multiple move actions,
especially because of the hungry pit that blocks that doorway.
I want you to know you didn't go as deep.
You just went into an alcove right near the hungry pit.
No, no.
Refresh.
I'm all the way back by the door.
Shut your mouth when you talk to me.
Can I then take a free action to taunt the giants?
That is not a free action.
If you want it to matter, then no.
But if you just want to flavor it up, sure.
I'm just going to flavor it up?
Yeah, flavor it up.
She's going to say, you missed us again.
And we're going to go see what's behind the door.
But she says that at a shout,
but I can't really shout and do the Metro voice.
Right, they don't speak English.
It's common in this game.
It is.
The skeleton down the pit's turn.
I hate him.
They don't speak English.
It's common for them to not speak English in this game.
Climb check here.
It's a giant assumption, this kid.
I don't like it.
33 on the climb check.
On a fiery temperature.
That's a fail.
That's a fail.
So he's just trying to scramble up the wall it's like oh this is just uh the other skeleton by the way if any of troy's characters
ever get hungry pit we're all dead yeah there's only like a couple like purpose-made characters
that can make a dc35 check he's uh dalgrith would scramble out of it with no problem and in fact he
tried to yes you're telling me the only thing Dalgrith can adequately conquer is a hungry pit?
Yeah, the only thing he can do well is climb things.
That's it.
It's the only value of the party.
He was a splunker in a past life.
There is a fire giant and a skeleton right next to an image of Dalgrith.
As the skeletons turn, he will take a swing at the illusion of Dalgrith.
It doesn't really matter what I rolled.
He swings straight through it.
Unless it's a natural one.
It wasn't.
Misses and...
Wastes his round.
Wastes his round.
He will close on Nestor.
And then the fire giant, seeing what happened, will...
You know what? I'm going to have it leave some space here.
It's going to charge straight at Nestor and take an attack.
Charges at Nestor.
One swing.
Vital strike.
With charge.
Was Metra too bold?
Vital strike.
Power attack.
On Nestor Coin.
Can't believe you're saying Nestor Coin.
It's so crazy to me that he's back.
31 to hit.
That's a hit.
Oh, no. No.
17 to 20 did not crit.
However, 49 points of damage and 4 points of fire damage.
It just comes up.
Boom!
With its greatsword.
And that's their round.
You guys are in that room now.
Away from your...
Jesus Christ.
Your new partner.
You've left him.
Jesus Christ.
With two combatants.
Metro, did you think this all the way through? Let's find out.
Baron, you're up. Now you can't
get into that room because of the hungry pit.
Or can he? Or
can he?
So Baron still
needs to do some stuff. He sees his friend
bleeding from his eyeball.
His hair is falling out.
Don't worry about me.
He looks like he just got back from the bar on Fleet Week.
Shall we go back, Baron?
We might, but before we do, Baron's going to do two things.
He has an idea that they could be listening to us.
There's skulls here.
He's going to use the gloves of Whisper.
And he's going to send a message to each of you guys.
But he's not going to say what it is unless I'll bring that up.
I want it to be a surprise.
So I'll bring it up if.
So we don't even know what it is.
No, not right now.
It'll be fun if it happens.
You could text us.
I might later.
But we'll see if it happens.
And then.
Like later tonight when we go home.
Yeah.
Tomorrow.
Texting is like whispering uh
so my wife will be like who's that it's baron honey i'm just gonna download why is grant asking
if you up i'm gonna do up i'm gonna whisper he goes to the gloves you up i'm just gonna download
some random lingerie photos and send them to you don Don't worry about it. I just want them to show up on your phone.
And then I'm going to reach out and do Cure Moderate Wounds.
Oh, nice.
Get it.
12, 27 points of healing.
Really?
That's not possible.
You don't like that, Jeff?
It's not mathematically possible
19
19 points of healing?
Yeah
Plus 7 for my caster level
I rolled 12 on 2K8
Yeah, that is mathematically possible
Do you not want that?
Right now, 23 points of healing would be mathematically possible
Joe?
19 plus 7 is 26
Yeah, I know
I rolled 12
And then I added 7 for my level
For a total of 19
Can't you just trust Grant?
Yeah.
Come on.
Once in a while.
Skid.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I'm sorry, Grant.
Yeah, I was really scared.
I was worried about not trusting me.
I really...
I take it all back.
Do you want to move at all?
Metra said, shall we go back?
So I assume she has some plan of action, right?
I give a knowing
look at Metra. Right. I want to know
what you whispered. I want to know what she whispered
too. Nope. Is it what it
affects what Metra does? No.
Okay. It's just
last will and testament. It is
Nestor's turn. Nestor,
I don't know. I don't know what you're thinking about.
What are you thinking about your party? Like, do you trust
Metra in the way she's controlling the battlefield here?
Well, all I know is she whispers, we got to go, and they leave.
They're stuck here.
I said it would be fucked up.
They disappear.
Yeah, right.
That's what my dad said the last time I saw him.
Just went out for a pack of smokes.
And so they vanish, and Nestor's Sandy are looking at these two
at a giant and a giant flaming skeleton
and he looks up sort of laughs is it
huh so if they fucking left me what did
I ever do to deserve that I ask you and
he's gonna double move full withdraw and
get out of there yeah he's gonna go 60
feet back that's really all he
can do. It's crazy. You actually have the space
on this map. It's so big. You can move back
for days. I know. Usually we
have to play this out in Theater of the Mind, but nope.
Plenty of room on this map. Alright, so
Nestor, again, smartly avoiding
being
left in full attack
zone for these things. Backs away.
It is Dalgrith's turn.
Dalgrith, Baron reached out, healed you,
whispered something that you didn't quite hear.
You up?
You up?
Dalgrith, you up?
Now you up?
Eggplant emoji.
Eggplant emoji.
Water.
Water.
Splash, splash.
Dalgrith is like, thank you, bro.
Metro, give me a minute.
And he just reaches down into his belt,
pulls out his last potion of Cure Serious Wounds.
Wow.
And he's going to pull it out and drink it.
His rainy day poach.
I wish I had a Cure Serious for you.
Oh, I use it already.
No, it's all good, man.
So that's a one.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, come on.
Come on.
A one, a two, and a four on 3D8.
I'm so miserable with this. If your iPad was human skin, it would. Come on. A one, a two, and a four on 3D8. I'm so miserable with this.
If your iPad was human skin, it would be bruised.
It's Metra's turn.
Metra, you have a plan here?
I have two plans.
It's always good to have a backup.
It's always good to have a backup.
Unfortunately, I don't have a backup character at the moment.
Catch.
All right.
So Metra's going to turn a dog with and says,
keep drinking those potions.
And she's going to grab Baron by the hand
and dimension door back.
Yeah.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Just then, the mask stands up.
Somebody stop me.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
So you pull Baron back into that room.
Where?
Very important here.
Where you place Baron is key.
Yeah.
Now the question is, do we want to be between the Giants and Dog Ruth?
Or Giants and Nestor?
Or between the Giants and Nestor to give him cover?
Just to make sure he knows that we love him?
No.
I just think tactically, he's still really vulnerable and they they could close on us very easily otherwise well
that's it so if they come if you are on the other side of them from me they can just keep charging
me and i wouldn't be able to do any damage if you're between them well that's true either way
it would allow you to shoot at least we could do more damage. You might get hurt, but... Yes, I might die, in fact.
Yeah.
The collective you.
The royal you.
But that is...
The editorial.
But that is the strategical choice.
So Metro uses her strategery and puts her and Baron between Nestor and the giants.
Okay.
Go ahead and roll a hungry pit damage for this shitty, shitty skeleton.
Get him. Get him.
Get him good.
Ten points of damage.
Okay.
Still going.
I can't believe, though.
This seems like a good idea, but fucking Dalgrith is on the other side of a door that can open at any time.
And just a shepherd's cane could yank him out.
I could just imagine, like, all of a sudden he cane could yank him out. I could just imagine like
all of a sudden he hears the click
behind him. It's like turns
around as these two, whatever,
three more giants walk out the
door. We'll see you next week.
I told you I was happy
with my cable plan. Get the
get the
All right. The skeleton attempts
to climb out.
Fails again.
It's got a pretty good climb, but I mean, DC35 is just ridiculous as a broken spell.
I hate it, and then I hate you.
Not you, Matthew.
Just Metro and you, Matthew.
It is the skeleton's turn.
I'm just trying to tactically figure out... Now, we're going to narrow our...
This is to our advantage, because this corridor is more narrow than the room. Got a real Thermopylae situation going here. They can're going to narrow our car. This is to our advantage because this corridor is more narrow
than the room. Yeah, we've got a real Thermopylae
situation going here. They can't stand next to each other.
Yeah. I love Zack Snyder.
Alright.
Oh boy.
Alright, the skeleton
They can, well
this is going to be tricky here the skeleton is going to move up this is
like the most fun i've had playing pathfinder it is this is a hell of a combat yeah it feels like
the old school jade regent days for some reason yeah like we're really digging it kind of feels
like high level like league of legends play right now you know what i mean well yeah it's a really
long map and we're going back and forth
and back and forth.
And like all the characters
have different skills in there.
It's fun.
This does feel like the JVGN days
because you were very angry
about the things I did
during that game too.
Yeah, that's true.
You're a very good player, Matthew,
when you want to be.
It's, uh...
What does that mean?
I don't know.
I can't give you a compliment
without cutting you down.
The skeleton's going to come up
and attack Baron.
Okay.
Let's just see what happens here.
You guys are adjacent to each other, right?
Yeah.
Good.
That might come in handy if I hit Baron.
Oh, shit.
Cleveland.
And they have Cleveland?
Want to go to O-H-I-O.
Oh, my God.
But LeBron got traded.
Power attack on Baron.
I'm leaving that power attack on just in case.
Wait, is this a vital John?
No, this is just the fire giants have the vital John.
These guys just have the power John.
And they crit 19 to 20.
Out of the box.
I got Grant hands right now.
This is...
Natural 20.
Oh, no.
Natural 20 Natural 20
On the die
Confirm
Still hard because they have the giant subtypes to confirm
Named?
Not named, I did name him
Jonathan
The Skeletal Guard 1
I'm gonna cast a spell
Immediate action
Interrupt my roll I'm gonna Ether cast a spell. Immediate action? Yeah. Interrupt my roll?
Please. I'm going to Ether Step.
You're going to Ether Step? Yeah.
Do you need there to be dim light in order
to do so? Nope.
Okay. Does that help
Baron at all? Nope.
Not sure why you interrupted the
critical confirmation roll with that.
Right. Doesn't matter. I have
to do it before I know the results of the...
So I Aether Step.
You Aether Step.
Yes.
Okay.
Where do you go?
Oh, you just go into the...
Into the Ethereal Plane until my next turn.
To confirm.
But that's a round off now.
I know.
That could be a big round off.
Uh, 28.
Not a confirm. Wow. Oh, thank God. 28 not a confer
wow
have we hurt this guy very much by the way
let's take a look here
no
alright hasn't been touched
resolve the damage
let me start with a little damage resolve
here
32 points of regular damage
and one point of fire damage.
So 33 points of damage.
As Baron is struck down,
he screams out,
Your god is just as dead as you are
and has no power here.
And the rods of the greater Thremier's beard animate and whip out at this great sword this giant is holding.
And rolls a CMB against your CMD to rip it out of your hands.
Wow.
What?
Cool.
Yep.
That's amazing.
Is that immediate action or is it a reaction to it? It is upon a successful melee attack with a weapon. Yep. That's amazing. Wow. So it's a immediate action or is it a reaction to being hit?
It is upon a successful melee attack with a weapon.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
I didn't even know you were wearing this shit.
Yep.
I've been wearing it for a while.
Yeah.
All right.
Wow.
First time.
It's got these little hooks at the end of it so they animate and try to pull the great
It's kind of like Dr. Octopus style.
They all just whip out at once and like uh like wrap around it
right this would be a wonderful i'm so excited natural 20 uh
33
cmd is 34 oh no brutal dude. That isn't the worst part.
Because Metra Aetherstepped, the Fire Giant can step up and Vital Strike Baron.
Oh, no, Metra.
What were you thinking?
I was thinking that it was going to step up and Vital Strike me.
So better that it's Baron.
Oh, no.
I can't help him. You can't. There's no space it can hold. Oh, no. I can't help him.
You can't.
There's no space it can hold.
Actually, there is.
Damn it.
Steps right next to the fire.
He got me out of technicality.
Vital strike with power attack.
And this amazing green die that has been rolling absolute rocks.
Crits 17 to 20.
You're due for it, Joe.
I am so ready to see the result of this next week.
We'll see you next week, folks.
He was about to roll it.
He was about to roll it.
I thought so, too, but then he was about to roll it.
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