The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 248 - Pew Detective

Episode Date: February 25, 2020

Invigorated by a implausible victory, the heroes stumble upon an unusual chapel. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection, free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH-balancing minerals and crafted with skin-conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. the latest monstrosity. Metro's going to kind of wander around the room and do a detect magic just to make sure there's nothing we're missing in here.

The heroes push forward. You see images of armored fire giants crushing opponents, while the burning image of a giant wearing a fanged helm looms in the background in the darkness. Try to think tactically. All of us at the same time. Alright, let's

move out. Let's go. Let's go, same time. Three, two, one, go. Three, two, one, go. And expect the unexpected. Something's calling us this way, isn't it? I can feel it. The adventure continues now. Hey everybody, welcome to episode 248 of the Glass Cannon Podcast.

We here at the Glass Cannon Network are extremely excited as we have some very cool stuff coming up in the next couple of weeks. First and foremost, our triumphant return to Boston for our live show this Friday. Very excited to be returning to Boston during PAX East. to be returning to Boston during PAX East and doubly excited to be hitting the stage at the legendary Paradise Rock Club again in Troy and my old stopping grounds up there in ComAv. We will be debuting a new shirt design at the show. And then Monday, March 2nd at 7 or 7.30,

we will be streaming the Androids and Aliens Episode 100 Red Carpet Party live from GCN Studios here in glamorous new york and then we will be going live with episodes 100 and 101 of androids and aliens at 9 p.m eastern time and then thursday march 5th at 8 p.m eastern standard time Daylight Time, whatever it is. We will be doing Glass Cannon episode 250 live, three hours. It is going to be epic, I think. And all of that will be exclusively on Twitch TV slash The Glass Cannon, all one word. Wow. got a lot of stuff coming up but this episode is also pretty good so i hope you enjoy it please enjoy episode 248

look at us look at us five scrappy scrapping air do wells. Started a podcast in a living room. Now we're a few episodes away from episode 250. Oh, closing in. 250, Matthew, I would imagine, among all of us, you're the most fired up. For 250. Fired up and ready to go. This guy's so fired up so fired up i can't you're sitting too close to me and your fired upness is rubbing off what you can't see at

home is that i'm currently exploding yes with fired upness with fired upness you look like an an x-man revealing his powers i couldn't keep. I didn't tear my eyes away. It's like a transfiguration. He's like the Dark Phoenix. Yes. Yes, can't you tell from the tone of my voice how fired up I am? Also, you're wearing very sexy knee-high golden boots

like the Dark Phoenix in a red spandex suit right now. I've decided I want to dress more like I feel. Wow. Dress like no one's watching. That's what I always say. We have a whole new audio set up here, and I still cannot get used to it. It's a little strange. It's really intense, but we pass the listening experience on to you, the listener.

The new soundboard looks like it could pilot a starship. It really does. It looks like something out like an 80s sci-fi movie it is like it moves on its own it's weird it's like the excelsior in in star trek star trek 2 yeah it's like because they we consolidated we had this huge rack full of all this different sound equipment, and we were able to consolidate it down into this one board. And it's like, it's capable of, it's transwarp capable is what it is. It's amazing. I should also say that we never had a rack before. We simply stacked things on top of a plastic bookshelf. Yes.

Because we couldn't get it together to buy something to screw them into which is like it was like 60 to get that nice rack yeah that would have changed everything even before we got there and then we're gonna walk by and said hey nice rack that would be fun and now we instead we have a starship now we have a starship but it was a trouble too because the cat it would get warm so the cats would keep sleeping on it and get full of hair i bought that shitty rack at Home Depot. Home Depot. When we first moved into the small studio next door.

And I was like, temporary solution. We just need something to put things on. We'll fix this in a month. Two years ago. Do you remember the deliberations around, now that we have all this new equipment, I'm just thinking back. Do you remember the deliberations around moving into this space? Oh, yeah. We had to have a vote on it.

We had to talk about it. Yeah, it was a big deal. Are we confident? Do we feel good? We had to have a vote on it we had to talk about it yeah it was a big deal were you confident do we feel good we had to have a board vote on a board vote via email so we couldn't see each other's faces yeah uh yeah we talked about that on uh friday we did um yeah now look at this this is crazy i want to go back and listen to episode one now because uh you know the audio quality i thought was pretty solid compared to the garbage that's out there at the time but now you listen to this it's like we're in the future baby the monitoring is just what's really intense yeah now we have like separate headphone lines instead of just splitting everything so now you see how dampened that was before because now it's like it's so clear it's like ah gotta turn it down Yeah. And the boards outputting much more powerfully than the old one was robust.

Especially like if you've ever bought a home theater system, they're like, you're never going to turn your system that loud, but you want more amperage because the more, more power going through a system, the cleaner the signal can be. And that's what we have now with this board. And now in Matthew's like,

it's too loud for my little ears. I have so much hair blocking the holes to get in can you turn it down i have actual hearing loss yeah he has he has tinnitus it's really not cool is that cool catch shit on a guy with tinnitus no it's like you're it's like oh yeah look at him he's experiencing Yeah, for a real reason. Yeah. Just rub some lotion on it. Didn't come in here making fun of your new glasses. Actually, I did do that. He did.

He called me four eyes and he gave me a noogie. Oh, that's right. I just said, who's that nerd sitting in choice suit? Yeah. Glasses. Now I can see you all. And that's a nice new experience. I didn't realize how blurry you all were before, but now you're all in.

It's weird, isn't it? Amazing technicolor. Do you think you're going to have more empathy for the human experience now that you can see people's faces? No, but I do feel weaker. I feel like a weaker person overall. Why? Because I'm failing. What?

I'm failing. Your body's deteriorating. Yeah, my body's. I heard this somewhere once. I can't remember where, so I don't know who to attribute it to. But they say at 30 The body starts to break down And at 40 it starts to die

And it slowly dies Over the next 40 to 50 years So I'm in the die mode now And now that the eyes have gone Soon it'll be everything else I'm just glad I could get clean and trim before you got your glasses So you didn't have to look at me before I know now I can finally see you Have you always been so svelte nope I have no way of

knowing unless I watch those old youtube videos oh boy like who's that big boy he done put some work in I I like that big boy yeah also you can see the great feathering and Grant's new haircut yeah Grant you're looking good you're looking clean you're always looking good you're always the best dressed amongst us sorry Matthew I know you consider yourself a snazzy dresser but you know grant burger i'll tell you joe used to be really good dress really well dressed with his job when he had a job yeah he looked great yeah grant grant knows where like where to get clothes i don't know any of that like he knows where to go dude stitch fix stitch fix is the way to go stitch fix.com i don't go to stores to buy clothes that's for please that's for dummies i mean

grant often goes to think online retailers am i wrong i do too but i go to multiple yeah well you're very hip you're very hip we all know that you i think we should send matthew to bonobos or a place like that because they have new york city showrooms where they'll like do like an 80s style montage. Oh, that'd be fun. They give you a little cocktail. And we could film it and put it on the Patreon. Ten different looks. We could try to get like.

And we can all stand in there and just like shake our head and then finally give the thumbs up. We could get a low budget tan France imitator from Queer Eye to like give him like guidance throughout the entire thing. I think it'd be really good. I don't think I'm in need of a makeover. No, Matthew. No, no. He's right, Matthew. I may not be the best dress.

You look terrible. Yeah. This is people that need makeovers never think they need makeovers. That's the point. Oh, that tinnitus. You haven't heard the truth in a long time. You're a mess. This isn't a makeover.

It's a clean it up intervention. Oh, God. I was wondering if, because a lot of times people was like oh i'm having trouble in school and then they then they get glasses like oh i just couldn't see the board and then they become good students i was wondering if troy was just an asshole because he couldn't see right now that's what i was hoping is he gonna be is he gonna start being a good gm now yeah now that he has glasses but that uh signs uh do not point to yes. No. I can see it all now. Clear. See our trauma.

Yes, yes. TV looks better, too, which is fun. Can I take a let me take a second here interrupts for a little community shout out. Oh, boy. I think we all all of you. Oh, Aaron from New Orleans, Louisiana. And a little thing. Oh, yeah.

A cake, cake, baby. It's carnival season in New Orleans. Aaron sent us some king cake. It would have been two cakes. I cake, baby. It was carnival season in New Orleans. Aaron sent us some king cake. Two. It would have been two king cakes. I found the baby. We have been going. Troy, of course, got the baby. Of course he did.

That was before I got my glasses. Second try. Yeah, you didn't see the baby. You ate the baby. No, I just went right through my tooth. No, I thank Aaron, but my waistline doesn't, because I've eaten at least three pounds of it since it arrived. It is so delicious.

You know, I never had king cake before this one. Neither did I. I've never at least three pounds of it since it arrived. It is so delicious. You know, I never had king cake before this one. Neither had I. I've never had it. We've gotten a lot of snacks lately, like the last couple weeks. Yeah, we've got whoopie pies from Maine. The name has escaped me who sent it. And then Grant got some burger cookies from Baltimore. Alex from Baltimore, thank you so much.

They are delicious and sweet, just like me. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Yeah, it's only sweets, and we're just going to all get gross. Yeah, some random person just sent me five bags of miniature cinnamon donuts. Oh, right. I don't know who or what. There was no name on it or anything.

I just want someone to send us carrots. There you go. No, you don't. Yeah. All right. They do for the backstage when we do the live show we never crack them off i know we never eat we eat a gallon of red bull and sour patch kids but the carrots just get thrown out you know i don't trust baby carrots anymore why they go bad or dry too fast

you gotta eat them you gotta keep up i know i'd rather just peel a carrot and chop it up i should be like i don't trust babies i like i i really like uh i really like a purple carrot oh caitlin brought some home and i was like i don't know what's different about these but they're delicious they're purple it was like some purple ones and some orange ones and some yellow ones and some white ones they're all mixed in together and they're all delicious this is the world we live in every carrot is a organic multi-, multicolored Trader Joe's carrots. Yep. That kind of world. That's the world. That's the world.

That about sums her up. What world I don't want to live in is a world in which you walk into a room with a gargantuan monster and fucking one and a half around it because you put off three crits. And even Joey O got some damage off, right? Weren't you invisible? No. I can't remember. Oh, yeah, you did. I did get damage off. Yeah, I thought you did. Your first attack, you got likeeren't you invisible? No. I can't remember. Oh, yeah, you did. I did get damage off.

Yeah, I thought you did. Your first attack, you got like 44 points of damage. You're absolutely right. I just forgot because it was only one attack, and then the thing was down. You know I'm hopeless when O'Brien's getting 44 points of damage off. Gotcha. I'll be honest, and I talked about this on Fodder Friday. I wasn't expecting much out of the encounter.

I had high hopes, but when there's one monster and four of you, no matter how cool that monster is, unless they have crazy magic that can delay the fight or some sort of summoning of minions, I just wasn't hopeful. Some kind of environmental hazard. Right, something. The thing that killed you was the distance between us and it. Yeah, well, yeah, but it could have made up the distance.

It had crazy speed. If it wasn't for the crit the crit slowed it the crit crippled it yes yes it did but uh kudos to you you deserve the w especially after that fight in the previous room which uh was real deadly and lasted for a couple eps now you're in this room, and as I mentioned to you, I'll re-mention to you here, that the murals on the walls, there are like little spaces that look like they lead beyond the wall, like maybe tunnels. You see three spaces, one to the northwest, one more westerly, and then one going south. The creature lies crumbled at your feet, just a pile of corpses in this hard exoskeleton of armor. What do you guys want to do? Well, Nestor is still crowing about what he did.

He's like, I'm not normally one to sing my own praises, but did you see that? I mean, did you see what I did to it? I was well shot, mate. Oh, yeah. And don't sell yourself short there, mate, either, Del Grief. Neither of us. You lose your earmark for me now, yeah? He's looking across at his illusion.

The illusion waves and then fades away. You and your friends. That was a grill, mister. He starts walking over. The target, right in the neck. Couldn't believe I saw it so close. I feel like I was going to get rained down with blood from that creature. Yeah, mate.

See, that's how he's done. Have you ever hit any allies with those arrows? Nah, well, once in a while but you know you can't uh make an omelette as they say can't make an omelette without breaking a few legs as my old dad used to say always the clever one uh and speaking of which i'm once again sorry for shooting you in the uh leg no bargains be bargains mates all right we've had our troubles and baron's actually like downtrodden because he's used to taking out like the big guys and like he's he's fought with nester before

but nester right now is super powerful and like from so much further range especially with dell as opposed to lawbringer it's 40 feet to 110 120 what do you that's my first range 110 yeah so you know baron like as far as damage dealing in that battle just did nothing yeah not used to it um is there anything to suggest this monster could regenerate that uh we should do anything else to uh keep make sure it stays down? Time has passed, and it hasn't moved. Also, okay, great. Unrelated question. Does it look like it has anything on its person

that would be worth searching for? You figure you can probably pry that breastplate away, but it's gargantuan, and it doesn't appear to be magical. All right. And in the middle of the room, I'm forgetting how it was described in past episodes is that a burning furnace or uh i believe it's a clyde brazier okay so could we

i went to high school with clyde brazier um yeah it is uh let me just make sure i get this correct it is a um brazier yeah standing lit in the center of the room, surrounded by steel chairs. Remember, the walls are carved to resemble a volcanic mountain range, as if the room itself lay in the middle of a valley, not unlike Minderhall's Valley. And the flickering flames behind the volcanic calderas

give the appearance of flowing lava, and the walls between the peaks are painted to look like looming, shadowy mountains. Wow. Baron's going to suggest, based off of seeing the handiwork that they did with other creatures in Skirkopla's tomb, and seeing Orphos be brought to life and all sorts of other things, that we put this creature into the brazier somehow and try to destroy its remains. Okay.

It's pretty big. It's about 50 feet tall. 50, 60 feet tall. Hack it up. Hack it up. Baron pulls out his... We don't have that kind of time. What do you think about the size of it?

It'll take six and a half hours. It's just been so long since I had a good barbecue, I'm sorry. Can we just light it on fire? Just leave it. Let them know we destroyed their guardian. Nothing twice before messing with us now. How's everyone feeling? Great!

I don't think I took a point of damage. I mean, I didn't either either but I did use some spells preparing for that battle I've got a few bumps and bruises but nothing that can't be endured by one with exceptional will who's that? me

I thought, sorry, I thought we made that clear I thought it would have been clear by context, no it's me yeah, I've got i'm really quite amazing did you see what i did just then i did i saw yeah it's good there's some good shooting yeah no it's just all in a day's work for me really i really am a remarkable human being when you think about it have you ever met any human beings as remarkable as you?

Yeah, yeah, no, a few, but normally... What happened to them? Well, normally I kill them. Right. But, you know, those few that survive... Like, you three, like, you're not bad. None of us are you. So, yeah, no, that's true. It's probably best that we stay slightly worse than you, right, mister?

Yeah, I mean, if you know it's good for you. Just joking. Only joking. I'm sure you are. slightly worse than you're right mister yeah i mean if you know it's good for you just joking i'm joking i'm sure you are by the way i just uh realized that clyde frazier has a huge restaurant on uh over by the javits center i'm sorry i didn't know that i just i was is it called clyde's it's called clyde frazier's Wine and Dine. Well, now we know where we're going before Glass Cannon and Wine. Dinner at Frazier's. I used to, former Knicks great Clyde Frazier. I used to watch the Knicks games with Pat McGrath, our friend,

and I used to do my Clyde Frazier impression watching the game. Will you give us a sample? He's like, boy, he's coming down used and confused. He's taking that three-point shot shot he doesn't know what he's doing that's that's my clad frazier that clad frazier that's like clad frazier sorry i derailed the entire no no it's worth no it's it's worth a degree of discussing the last uh nba champion nick uh one of the last yeah it's been like 40 plus years. Him and Earl the Pearl Monroe. Why even make fun of the Knicks?

It's just like, is there something easier than hitting a paper bag? Oh boy. What were you, a New Jersey Nets fan growing up over there? I'm a Knicks fan. It's like, they're so terrible and have been so terrible for so long, what's even the point of making fun of them?

Anyway, that's Clyde Frazier's Wine and Dine on 10th Avenue. See you there. This episode brought to you by Clyde Frazier's Wine and Dine. Remember, Thursday night is prime rib night. Eight dollars gets you a prime rib and a baked potato. Clyde Frazier.

I remember when you could get an eight dollar prime rib. Those were the days, huh? Those were the days. What is happening? Did we ever discuss the relationship between... 20-year-olds listening to this show. Is that good? It was.

Did we ever discuss the relationship between the smaller God's head and the larger God's head? I'm forgetting which deity it is now. There's Vodder. No, obviously in the room you were in previously, something came off of the door and stretched the whole length of that room. In this room, when you stepped in, there was that same image, but smaller. You know, it still takes up a good chunk there. What is it? Fifteen by...

No, no. A ten-foot square, but same exact image on the floor, and you all skirted around it in the battle. Yeah, that looks small in here, but imagine a ten-foot by ten-foot painted war mask on our floor in the studio. Sure. It would look horrifyingly huge. It's just a lot smaller than the,

let's see what the length of this one is. Now we know what to tell our interior decorator. 120 feet by 25 foot one in the previous one. It would be like the world's most horrifying fathead. I feel like the 20-year-olds might also have a problem understanding what a fathead is at this point. Holy crap. That's true.

I bet you they sell Clyde Frazier fatheads. I bet they did. I bet they did. There's one on the wall. They take it down to prime rib night. I had to buy my goddaughter a gift, and I asked my sister what she wanted, and she said, Hydroflask stickers. What?

And I said, what? Moon boots? All the kids have those metal water bottles now, and what they do instead of pogs is they buy, like, 48 stickers at a time, and they cover them up, and they trade them with their friends, and they put them on their dumb water bottles. On their water bottles. It's like the back of a laptop, but, you know. Kids today, their water bottles and stickers.

Back in my day, you had a prime rib right buck, and you liked it. Wow. Maybe even some salad. Completely unrelated. Completely unrelated. Back in my day, I was a prime rib right buck and you liked it. Maybe even some salad. Completely unrelated. Completely unrelated. Back in my day, I was smoking half a pack a day. I worked three jobs. I think Joe Googled Hydroflask stickers.

I did. I think I know what they were talking about because we've had the... I was wondering what they meant by all the small ones, but now I see they're so small. But that was part of the reason that we started selling GCP stickers. It's because there was a demand for Hydro Flask GCP stickers. Oh, is that what those are? Yeah. I mean, that's not what they are.

Available now at flaskcannonpodcast.com. Yeah, you can put them anywhere, but they're a little big. They kind of take up your whole Hydro Flask, but they're not like these. These are like, they're all kinds of tiny ones, like Skid's laptop. Yeah. With a bunch of flavor. I've got a lot of flavor flavor i've got a lot of flavor i've got a lot of flair on my flair it's like a high school locker yeah he's the guy fieri of

laptop backs i actually have a locker at juilliard and i opened it i opened it up and it has a has like a a baiting sticker for a radio station from the early 90s that i like i was like i remember when this went off the air like when this got replaced by something else. Do you ever get stuffed in it? Yeah, Kevin Kline ever come around and just like throw you in there? Take that, titty! He makes fun of you tonight as he's stuffed in there. In your locker, titty! He was there for the event and he just like shoved me in.

Oh, wow. Who was that? Him and his beard. He goes out and makes out with Sigourney Weaver in the parking lot. Don't you. Anyway, how many doors out of this room are there? There's no doors, but concealed within the mural that stretches around the circumference of this room are three exits. Okay. Can I just do, can, Metro's going to kind of wander around the room

and do a detect magic just to make sure there's nothing we're missing in here. Baron will follow, looking for unusual stonework as you do that. Great. All right, Metra, are you walking around the room and, like, just doing the cursory one round detect magic,

or are you sitting there doing three rounds going to move another area three rounds because you get what 60 feet or 30 feet on that it's 60 foot cone right um i'm gonna confirm i don't know what's the what's the second what's the two round yeah no just the first round and if i if i detect anything interesting i'll stay and if you detect the presence of magic he'll stay and then i'll see what i'll learn more okay um you do detect the presence of magic um throughout the room um emanating from any particular area um you detect uh around the light sources and uh on the glyph. The face. Yeah. Mr. Stoddard face.

Yeah, and as well as the passageway to the northwest. I'll concentrate on that passageway to the northwest. Concentrate and stay there for a little while. You're detecting an aura of abjuration magic. I share this information with the party. An aura of abjuration. Which way was it? Northwest. How far, how distant? Well, I can only detect within 60 feet, so it must be within 60 feet. Is it at the end of your range or right here at the opening? And Dalgrith is like slowly

creeping toward it and looking suspiciously at it. He obviously can't detect any magic. He doesn't see anything, but he knows there's something there, and he has his own familiarity with abjuration magic. Yeah, sorry, which one is abjuration magic? I don't know. I'm not a scholar. Defensive arts. Typically, it's somebody who's protecting something

they don't want you to see or find. In addition to looking for unusual stonework, I'm realizing I can do this at will. It's not a use of anything. I'm going to detect evil aura's presences. It should apply to creatures, objects, and spells. Kind of go through the whole room and look for those. Okay.

So while Metra is doing her sort of more specific detect magic, you are going around looking for evil and you don't detect any of that wow okay except for nestor except for nestor he's really glowing a bright pink glow around baron puts on a pair of sunglasses like uh old school like uh um zz top no oakley style like a baseball pitcher in the 90s oh yeah the rainbow ones yeah yeah um shall we proceed to the northwest then i guess we should follow the source of that magic metro something's calling us this way isn't it i can feel it he's like drawn toward it uh can i look down the hallway for without stepping into it or does it turn right away? Sure. Are all you up there with him? Yes.

All right, so Dalgrith, you step forward. And the moment you step forward... Everybody roll a reflex save. Oh, wow. Everybody? I asked you how far away was my truck! I don't know how far away! His cries are covered by electricity.

What did you get baron 24 unless it's against a poison uh it is not 24 is a pass uh nest a coin 34 34 is a pass uh dalgryth 25 25 is a pass metra 30 wow passes all around so if you don't don't have evasion, it's going to be half damage. You know, it doesn't really matter, but do I roll the damage differently for everyone or once for all? I always forget this because I'm reading second edition. I don't think it really, it's, you know. I usually roll it once. Yeah, it's a blast. So it's only going to be three points of damage to those of you without evasion.

Right when you stepped onto that one spot forward from where you were standing, there was some sort of trap there. Wow. You notice that Metro takes no damage at all. Oh, I don't notice that because I don't exist. It's true. You heard it here, folks. i don't exist it's true you heard it here folks i don't exist holy shit i feel like i'm watching adaptation right now do you really not exist is is this a figment oh fuck yeah grant now you shake and you wake up and you're in bed

clutching a snow globe you just see skid's computer he's sitting at his computer inside the snow globe joe's got his hand on his head tommy westfall snow snow globe where are the tommy westfall can there also be a top spinning that never falls over and it cuts to black just to mix up different references and then we'll see you next week all right um i i'm just i'm just delighted that we're uh in the same universe as... Saint Elsewhere. Well, and all of the other things that crossed over were Saint Elsewhere. Almost everything.

Isn't Richard Belzer singularly responsible for expanding the Tommy Westphal universe? Is that true? Because he crossed over so many times. Oh, oh, yeah. Yeah, that character. Once this happens and Baron doesn't take much damage from it and notices that Metra doesn't take any, he's going to say,

that trap wasn't there to kill anything. I think it was there to warn whatever's down this passageway, so we best be careful, Dalgrith. I was thinking the same thing, Baron. Someone's probably on those. Metra, can you give us another look? Do you feel any more auras of abjuration ahead? Detect magic.

Or do we burn it out? Nothing. All right, it's perfectly safe. Let's go, Baron. All right. Dog Ray starts walking at a normal speed. And I'm going to do a perception as I walk. Just, you know, for dangers.

Yeah, sure. General Persep for danger. Persepony. 34. 34. Okay. You're looking specifically for danger. You don't see any.

As you get deeper into this tunnel, though, you do see that up ahead the room opens up. Into another longish ob-shaped room, maybe. All right. I'm going to move into sneak mode. We do sneak. Stealth. Little sneak. Little sneak.

28. 28, okay. Stealth. So you come stealthing up. Moving quietly up to the opening. Okay. And as you get to the opening, you can see more into this room. And you can't see the whole extent of the room,

but you do see at least 60 feet in here with your dark vige, there are doors to the, I guess you would call it the east and the west. You see rows of benches in the center of the room. The walls are painted again with, instead of the images of volcanoes that you've seen, the stylized volcanoes and the lava, you see images of armored fire giants crushing opponents, impaling enemies on spikes, and tearing down human fortifications using rocks or their bare hands,

while the burning image of a giant wearing a fanged helm looms in the background in the darkness. You see at least four doors exiting this room, but you can't even see further into the chamber. Where you're standing to the south, there's a large desk and chair just to your left to the west. Hmm. All right.

He'll look back to Baron and just nod his head like, come. Baron will stealth up to him. Not great. 24. 24. And Baron sees exactly what it is. I wonder what this room is for. Who's sitting at the desk, you think?

29 stealth for Metra. She'll join. Okay. Stealthy party. Who's sitting at that desk, and why would there be so many entranceways into this room as well? Is it a lobby?

What's going on here? Nobody sees anything, right? Metra has 120 feet of darkvision. Does that give her any more... Yeah, you'll actually be able to see a lot more of the room. In fact, you can see what you would think is the extent of

the room. And you see now at least two more doors. One on the west, one on the east, respectively, and a large dais in the back sitting sort of with two rows of benches staring at the dais. All right.

All right. Cool. The dais off. Time to turn around. Yeah, this looks like a... This is it. Basilica or something. Yeah, this is some horrible...

Something horrible. Can I do a perception? What's going to happen in this room? To look around up at the basilica, see if anything I can spot, anything hiding in the pews, perhaps? Sure. We can't see any of this. Right.

Metra's just describing... We're alive, Metra. And I can see us staring at her like... Do you have, like, black eyes? What color are your eyes? Purple? White. Yeah, pupil-less.

Pupil-less. White. White. Just these white eyes that can see into the darkness, and just Dalgrith and Beren looking at her just, Quiet. I hate, I hate pupils. 29 perception.

29 perception. There looks to be some stuff on the desk, and maybe some stuff further ahead on the dais is it uh you don't see any creatures could you possibly describe anything about the stuff particularly the stuff that's on the desk books

oh um normal desk stuff desky stuff yeah okay uh i'll relay this information to the party and then i'm gonna suggest us stealthing up to the party And then I'm going to suggest us Stealthing up to the desk Us or you? Us

All of us same time Alright let's move out Let's go same time 3, 2, 1, go There you go doll doll Is it dim light in here? No it's well lit. So I didn't need the dark vision?

Yeah. Gotcha. Yeah, you got me. I forgot. No, everything is well lit. Oh, so we can see everything. Yeah, you can see. I forgot.

I'm so used to you guys being in the dark. But no, ever since you've entered this level, everything has been well lit. Can I also point out what's weird about this volcano setup that makes it hard, different from Skirk Atlas Camp or Red Lake Fort or any other map we've been on, is the verticality of it. It's almost like a video game dungeon where you just get lower or higher. And because there are slices of different things, I have no real image of my mind or continuity in between place to place.

And it's really hard to stitch together. And it just, it feels like you're actually lost in the mountain, right? It feels like I'm, I'm an ant and like an ant farm and like grade school, you know, like they're just all these different little categories. If you're one ant all the way over here, you have no idea what's going on over there. It's, it's, it's disorienting and isolating, and it's scary. Yeah, and Ant Farm is a good analogy, too, because a lot of the tunnels that you've gone through look like they were originally formed by lava flowing through. And then they were worked into the rooms that you see.

And on this floor, they've been worked more than any other floor thus far. But forget about the collapse that you did on the first floor. If someone just said, run, get out of here, you'd go a little ways then you just get lost yeah i couldn't i can't imagine doing this without uh teleport yeah you know like how scary would that be if you actually had to physically walk out of this place yeah just remember that dog wreath yeah well that's why i try not to say anything offensive to you, Metro. I try real hard. I wasn't threatening you. I was saying, don't let me die.

No, no, I wouldn't. That's what I was saying. You know me. I could save everyone. We'd be so screwed without Metro. Oh, quit. We would be dead. Yeah.

Done for. You'd be dead. Yeah. There are mechanics for how to deal with the fact that you may not have teleportation. And I remember just reading it being like, oh, that's brutal. What a pain in the ass. It'd be a lot of like, all right, let's climb out past the giant camp. Right.

It would be like actually climbing Mount Everest. Where you have to go up and then down. And then up and then down. Greater invisibility. Hope there's nobody with scent yeah roaming around you remember that troy for the sake of the show and for your own sanity you don't have to do all those checks it might be useful to have something thank you matthew i would love to have to say just don't kill me i would i would love to escape off of this uh volcano using a hang glider that would be so that would be fun hang gliders more fun matthew i don't know i think a flying broom is pretty fun uh yeah neither can stand up to a dragon yeah that's the problem they got air air defenses to the maximum they have air

superiority what are you guys rolling for stealth those of you walking up to the desk? 42 for Dalgris. That's good stealth. 29. 29? 28 for Baron. 28 for Baron. Nestor is hanging back a bit, but he did roll a 24. 24.

Okay, so you... How tall is this desk? Is it like, can Dalgris climb up? 20 feet of the yard! No, it's about 6 feet off the ground. All right, Dogwrith will climb up on it. Okay. It collapses, and you take 68 damage.

What alarm sounds? It was a trap desk! Alarm sounds. Desk compromised. Viper, ours. In addition to several large... Torpedo giant-sized writing implements, clay tablets, copper sheeting, and similar tools for what you would assume would be fireproof record keeping. assume would be fireproof record keeping. The desk has

an old copy of a book with the holy symbol of Zerzvater on it, and a great sword. Those of you who read Giant, it says, The Law of the Shield. Oh. And if you open it up, it's just a

series of steel plates with Giant language stamped into it. Wow, that's cool. Yeah, it's very, very unique. And you've seen holy texts from giants before. Nothing quite like this. Probably worth a lot to a collector. But more importantly, why is it so different?

Why isn't it parchment? It's not like they're going to burn the paper with their hands is it um i mean i can do a religion check on this but is it akin to why like the bible in a church is so much more ceremonially ornate oftentimes with gold leaf and large presentation could it be that of a of a father or a pastor or bishop or something like that does it have ceremonial significance possibly role of religion check okay while this is happening metra takes all the writing implements and wears them down to like really dull like uses all their like their

pencils that's just annoying and then i steal their sharpener that's how you get him that's how you get him natty 19 for a 29 nice dude huge it seems like the version of the book that would be lent out for study instead of um someone sharing their personal copy got it okay we're stealing it right Yeah. And it's called Law of the Shield? Law of the Shield. Man, that pisses me off. It's a picture of Michael Chiklis on the back. Holding his Emmy. Holding his Emmy.

Forward by Michael Chiklis. About the author. Zerfata is played by Michael Chiklis. Michael Chiklis was Zerfata? In today's performance of Law of the Shield, Zerfata will be played by Michael Chiklis. Michael Chiklis was Sir Potter? In today's performance of Law of the Shield, Sir Potter will be played by Michael Chiklis. Oh, man. I want my money back.

I want to see Tony Shalhoub. I'm just a monk, man. What can I say? I came all the way from St. Louis to see Tony Shalhoub. That was a horrible look. Of course. Of course. Those are very different performers.

I was going to wait at the stage door for Shalhoub, not Jigglers. We're stealing it, though, right? We got to steal it. Anything that's not nailed down, we have to steal. Especially something like this. This is amazing. I leave their dulled pencils. Right.

Take the sharpener. Take the sharpener and the book. Anything else interesting in the desk? No, nothing else interesting in the desk. You got six doors, two sets of three pews each, and a dais. It looks like there's some stuff on the dais. Does the book, last question about the book, does it emanate an evil aura? For her to do a...

Effect evil on it? No. Okay. No, and no magical properties either. Does it emanate an evil aura if I were to do a effect evil on it? No. Okay. No, and no magical properties either. Got it. Hmm. I have everyone step carefully. I've got a bad feeling about this place. Aye, I'm with you, Mitra. This looks like the kind of place

where the faithful come to kill those they consider heretics. Walk carefully. Dogwraith will slowly walk to the first come to kill those they consider heretics. Walk carefully. Dalgrith will slowly walk to the first door to the southwest. There's a lot of doors, but just somewhere to start. He's going to creep up, and he's keeping his eyes more on the pews. But then as he gets to the door, if there's nothing happens, he'll listen at it. Okay.

Try listening at it. Ooh, natural 20, 36, 36, 37, 37. Uh, listening through this thick wooden door. You hear nothing. I wonder if they're just storing the robes and shit in there. Useless. Robes and shit. Robes and shit. Maybe it's a leftover vote of candles.

I don't know. I got the unconsecrated hosts in there. Let's eat them. I am hungry. Is it like an openable door? Or is it huge? No, it's eat him. I am hungry. Is it like an openable door? Or is it huge? No, it's openable. All right.

So Dog Wraith will attempt to open it. Okay. Slowly. Quietly. He'll roll a stealth in doing so. Oh, God. That is a 32. You open the door stealthily.

Or so you hope. And you see a small chamber. Robes and shit. Robes and shit. I knew it. It looks to be like a bedroom, maybe. Someone's personal quarters for one person. There is a bed, a desk, metal box at the end of the bed

I'm going in cover me and as soon as somebody comes up sort of looking in the door with him he's going to slowly walk in the room. Metro will join him at the door and wait guarding. And then he's going to continue to stealth slowly close the door behind him.

Continue to stealth. The Metro comes in and closes it. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Do you come in, though? No. I stay outside. Cover him. 26 stealth.

He's just kind of trying to creep in. He wants to see what's at the foot of the bed. Yeah, it looks like a little lockbox. What's in the box? All right. He'll do a perception on the box for traps. Okay. 34. 34. doesn't appear to be trapped he'll try to open it open it up there's a mirror inside and you see yourself you are the treasure it's just robes and shit there's 350 gold pieces. Whoa. Holy shit. And the gold pieces are

all different varieties. Like they're from all over Afghanistan. Galarian. Thieves gold. Blood money. Let's take it.

Take it all. Alright, we'll take it. Okay all alright we'll take it and we'll bag it tag it 350 yeah I'll do a perception around the bed and stuff to see if there's anything on the desk see if there's anything else of interest

oh well that's a terrible time to roll a natural 1 18 everything looks pretty normal. There's nothing else in there. We'll come back out. Found 350 gold, Metro. I've had 300 gold, Metro.

349 gold. The entire time that Dalgrith was inside of there, looking through there, which wasn't a long time, but it was enough time to make it unusual that Baron's eyes were transfixed upon the pews. And he remembers back to his childhood when he was admonished by the priest in church for somehow having a idol, an effigy, whatever you want to call it, of Zersvater in his hands and remembers being yelled at and kind of that moment pulls his feet

down the middle of the pews and he just starts walking down almost like a bride being played what so dogwrath comes out of the room to see baron walking down the slowly and he's probably getting to the first pew and he's probably he's probably looking for the same row of pews he was sitting in when this memory happened and he's probably going to walk over to that and sit in it. So he's probably going to sit. So you walk over to the first pew and you sit in it and you see on the center of the dais a burnt, severed arm. What?

Somewhere from like just below the elbow to the end of the hand. It has to be Nargrim Steelhand's actual arm. What? It has to be. At that moment, three doors open up. Here we go. Roll for initiative. Holy shit!

Roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll Oh, my God. I told you not to walk down that aisle. That's what my father told me when I married Angel. What? Told you not to walk down that aisle. If he had said roll for initiative, that would have been really pathetic. Yeah. What'd you get there? Baron. A terrible roll.

Joe's least favorite, a five on the die for a 20. Five on the die for a 20. Embarrassing. 20. Mr. Coin. That would for a 20. Hitting. Five on the die for a 20. Embarrassing. 20. Nestor coin. That would be a 23 for the son of coin. Son of coin. Dalgrith Deathbringer.

25 for Dalgrith Deathbringer. 25 for Bread Boy. Metro. Snuck that one in there. 18 for Metro. 18. You got Grant real bad I just pictured Joe eating bread

Shamefully in the corner Between rounds Sadly eating dinner rolls Shipping his face at dinner He's got stacks of Pillsbury's Oh my god Nobody brings signs to our live shows But I hope someone brings a sign

That just gets They can hold it up It's like Nice one bread boy That'd be so sad Now bread boy that'd be so sad it's round one and it is dalgryth's turn oh uh the three doors that you see open up are one directly to your left so presumably the next one you're going to check out and then the two uh to the top of the opposite side of the room. Tunk, tunk, tunk, tunk.

Tunk, tunk, tunk, tunk. And from where you're standing, you can actually see into the one nearest you, you see a very interesting looking giant. What? Yeah. Something we haven't seen yet? No. I'm just going to show you what it looks like here, and then let you guys describe it.

Whoa! Whoa. So, like, long fire giant hair, like a curtain of flame from underneath a hood, a dark face. It looks like a female fire giant. It's hard to tell. Features are shrouded by this cowl connected to a purple cape. It's in full plate. Full plate plate wielding a great sword yeah it doesn't look uh like you want to get hit with that great sword and it has a downward glance that's a little bit emo or death metal-y like it's either like my

chemical romance or like a nordic death metal band like lead singer's dream costume it looks like elric kind of like elric oh nice it does kind of look like Elric. Kind of like Elric. Oh, nice. It does kind of look like Elric. Yeah. And it's 25 feet away from you. Is Elric's sword named? Oh. Oh.

It has a great name. Yeah. Steve. It has a really good name. Is it Stormbringer? Is it Ice? Stormbringer. Stormbringer.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stormbringer. Yeah. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. It's your time to shine, Deli. Oh, God.

All right. Get yourself over that pew! And he runs at the giant that opened the door. He's the closest to it. You just see Baron's armor and gun on the ground. So he's going to try to distract it. Yeah yeah this is as good as opportunity as any i think um yeah so he'll run at the creature okay so the first move action and then the second move action gets me there and uh i will climb up on the creature all right attempt to anyway attempt to

it hasn't acted so uh no attack of opportunity it doesn't even affect you because you've got some jam that avoids that. So let's see if you get up. All right, so that is going to be 44. 44 against its CMD. Yeah. You are on that giant. All right, he jumps on. Let's see what secrets you hold. And he's going to hold on to this purple cape and try to stay clear of the hair that's on fire.

Nestor, you've been hanging back there while the Baron walked forward and Metra kind of hung with Dalgrith. You're right in front of the big chair to the south-facing desk. What do you do? He is going to take a five-foot step to the northwest so that he has a pretty clear shot at the giants that Dalgrith just went after. Okay. And he's going to go all out. He is. And he is going to fire off a multi-shot with a mini-shot with old Jota to start off with.

Come on, buddy. That is a 28 to hit against Flatfooted. 28 against Flatfooted is a hit. However, you see in front of it there's this like blast of multicolored hues surrounding it that is like prismatic

and fading in and out. Roll a 20% mischance. Oh, wow. Okay. Oh, no. no So 21 or higher You're Oh no Alright Not on the many shot

56 Alright That is a hit Okay 56 is one of my favorite numbers Really? Mine's 55 My absolute favorite number

I like 6 and I like 5 Let's kiss How am I to damage it? Do it up Mike So And this This creature is not gone yet, right? No.

Okay. So that will be my little include sneak attack damage. 57 points of damage. 55, 56, 57. Oh, look at that. Prime rib? No. They're all prime rib numbers.

Second attack. Natty 19 for critical threat Oh man Critical threat Critical threat Critical Critical Critical Critical

Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical

Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical

Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical

Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical

Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical

Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical

Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical Critical a 20% miss chance. Okay. Oh, boy. Come on, Mrs. Dash. Oh, 62. Oh, God. 62. Okay, so that's a confirmed crit. Confirmed crit. All right, let's see.

Oh, my God. We got Brian from Atlanta. Hand shot. Hand shot. Your shot strikes the target in its weapon hand. Yep. Slash fin, slash paw. Causing serious lasting injury. Double damage, and the target in its weapon hand slash paw causing serious lasting injury

double damage and the target takes a minus two penalty to attack rolls damage and checks made with that hand main hand if the weapon was two handed until it receives magical healing or completes a long rest fortitude save limits the penalty to one round all it'll definitely well actually

it's a 30 but it's a 30 it's their best save so I actually failed the 4-10. Wow! Wow, so until it's magically healed, it's minus 2 to hit and damage. And what if it's a two-handed weapon? It's wielding a greatsword two-handed. It just says that it happens to the main

hand. Okay, so minus 2 to attack. Hold me to that. I'll write it on Roll20, just so we remember. Alright, so what is that double damage? That's 69 points of damage. Oh, God. The best possible damage. That's right.

The best possible damage. And final attack. Not even done. That is a 98 for 21. 98 for 21 is a miss, but not without dealing some serious damage. I still feel pretty good about that round. Baron. As you should.

What do you think? You want to don your armor hastily and pick up your gun? Hastily don. Hastily don. Hastily don. You did remove everything to pray, right? As is tradition. Baron is, can he see over, he's standing on the pew now where he was seated, can he

like see over the top of it? Shoot. If you hop up on the pew, you could, but that is a move action. So it's so tall. The back of a giant is so tall, I can't see over it to like get cover and fire out at the giant. Yeah. They're going to get a bonus to their AC.

They're going to get cover. Yeah. Think of it as like a barrier. All right. You're closer to get cover. Yeah. Think of it as like a barrier. You're closer to the barrier. Actually, how does that work? When you're closer to the barrier, you get the cover and they don't? Correct. But I was thinking because, I thought you meant because they're in the room. Like, the giant's kind of in the room.

I thought you were saying the cover was from the wall. Oh yeah, that's the other problem, is like you're shooting. Well, I guess it's kind of clear. If I took a five foot step here, could I take a shot from there? Yeah, that's the other problem is like you're shooting. I guess it's kind of clear. If I took a five-foot step here, could I take a shot from there? Yeah, I would say the pew, would you have to jump up on the pew? That's the question. Then it wouldn't be a five-foot step.

Yeah, I'm going to say you have to be sitting. You got to move action on to there, and you can take one shot. Okay, so I'm going to move on, and I'm going to take one shot. It's outside of my first range increment really it looks so close by by it's still just within one so this is against regular ac rapid shot the angle that you're at you get a perfect shot here i'm not gonna give it any bonuses rapid shot and deadly aim are off for this attack. There we go. That's a plus 17. 19 critical threats.

Oh, come on, dude! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Four times! Do it! Do it! Critical, critical threats! 29. Yeah. Wow! Let me ask you a question. Would a 25 have confirmed?

Uh, yes. Fuck, ask you a question. Yes. Would a 25 have confirmed? Yes. Fuck, I should have left it on. Oh, we should. Why did I? This is the first time I haven't taken my own advice. You didn't take your own advice. All right. So what do we got?

Let's see. Let's go with Mick. Hi, Mick. Hi, Mick. Hey, Mick. Kelso Washington. Oh, that's... Is that our Mick?

Mick Kay, yeah. Friend of the show, Mick. Oh, yeah. Hey, Mick. Hi, Mick. Hey, Mick. Kelso Washington. Oh, that's... Is that our Mick? Mick Kay, yeah. Friend of the show, Mick. Oh, yeah. Hey, Mick. Hi, Mick. Divine Ricochet. I feel like Mick's been on here before. Maybe it was for a fumble.

I think you're right. Divine... Oh, God. Because I don't remember Divine Ricochet. Hit one of my other guys. You feel the power of your deity flow through you when you fire your weapon as your projectile ricochets between and through the enemies facing you, double damage to your initial target and normal damage to up to two nearby targets, enemies within 20 feet.

So it's not relevant. Any targets hit by the ricochet receive a reflex save for half damage. That is a cool crit there. It's a very cool idea. So it's just a double damage. Double damage. The other ones are across the whole room. Which for you is quad or trip?

Quad. Quad. Quad damzoni. You guys got quad or trip? Quad. Quad, yeah. Quad damzoni. You guys got one fucking attack. Quad damzoni. Dude, I mean, this is like, this is what Dog Wraith does. Oh.

We're all at 20% mischain. Oh, yeah. Ooh. Okay. Yeah, I'll do that first. Don't worry. Yeah, don't add up all that sweet, sweet dam out. Come on, miss. Miss.

Come on, miss. 47. Passenger 47, baby. This is what Dalgrith does. He jumps on creatures, does nothing, and then rides their dead body to the ground. This is his M.O. But then the stories say that he did all the work. Exactly.

But then it looks so good. The way he rode those giants to the ground. Yeah, I really think that. Didn't we say this before? That the difference. What makes Dalgrithwraith is just he has great PR. He doesn't really do any of this. That is 75 points of damage. That's one down.

Yes! I mean, two crits. Two crits. Two crits! You take those two crits. Two crits. Two crits. You take those two crits away, he's around for another round. Yeah, so Dalgrith rides him down to the ground. Let's keep things moving here. It is Metra's turn.

So these are the doors to these rooms on the east side of the room opened, right? Yes, both doors are opened, and you see those same giants be decked in the same outfit, holding greatswords, purple capes, cowls, ready to come out and attack. So the way I'm drawing this arrow on this map, I should have line of effect with no obstructions. Yeah, it looks that way

to me, Mipter Narn. Is that true? You're great. Would you do me a favor and roll a will save? Come on. What are you trying to do? Oh, it's true. It's damn true. You're great. Would you do me a favor and roll a will sit? Come on. What are you trying to do? Oh, it's true. It's damn true. You don't want to tell me?

Just roll your will sit. Okay. 24. You succeeded. Nothing happened. Hey, you know what? What? I bet you it would have been cool.

It would have been cool. It would have been great. Do you want to move at all? No, I'll stay where I am. Okay. I'm going to delete that minus two to attack that I wrote on there because that guy's dead. It's their turn. Shadun dun to do.

Flip flip flumpy floo. Okay. Tired of your shit, Alia. We're having fun. We're having a good time, huh? Okay. I think I know what I want to do here. The one, so there's one to the, we'll say the what I want to do here The one

So there's one to the, we'll say the north And one to the south The one to the south Comes out Into the room About 30 feet into the room Is just behind that The final pier to the right

Three piers, a pier Pew, excuse me A pier all of a sudden, he appears. A pier appears. A pier appears. Baron and Nestor roll a will save. Oh, boy. Oh, 23 for Nestor, 35 for Baron.

You both save as the creature channels negative energy. Oh, they're clerics. Six points of damage to both of you. Okay. It's half damage, right, for a save? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, and then the other one.

Oh, man, he is far away. he is going to also come into the room stand right behind his buddy and god you guys have such good saves he can't get any further this round so he is going to cast a

spell on Metra Metra roll a willra, roll a will save. You roll a will save. You roll a will save. 20. Poop. Oh, man. All right, so it just reaches out its hand,

takes one hand off the great sword, reaches across the room to you, and you are able to withstand whatever it was trying to do. It's the top of a new round, and it was Dalgrith's turn. That was a natural five, by the way. You're in the room with some casters. What do you want to do, Dalgrith? Dalgrith is in a terrible position. He's very far away from everything.

Not great. You know what? Dalgrith is going to flank out to the left near the pew that Baron is on. Okay. And he's going to go low. He's going to army crawl down, kind of. Not actually down, because I don't think he needs to. Okay.

I think he could just squat a little bit and attempt a stealth check against these guys to basically disappear to them behind cover. That's fair. So quick stealth check against their perception. Yeah, so it's 35. And then he's going to move up until he is basically... Oh, no, I can only move half speed because of stealth. So I'm just going to move up until I'm basically 10 feet away from Baron.

But I'm on the floor. Baron's on the pew. I'm just under him. Baron could see me. I could see him. I could be like, shh, I'm staying low. But presumably they can't see you unless they're Unless they perceive you. Higher than 35, yeah. Right. Okay.

And you are moving, and you have metal armor? No. You don't. Okay. No, no. Alright, so you're pretty stealthy along there. You feel pretty confident, but who knows? It is Nestor's turn. Okay. You see now confident, but who knows? It is Nestor's turn. Okay. You see now the same multicolored hue, prismatic

shield kind of surrounding these creatures. Yeah. Nestor is gonna slip back, take a five foot step back away from these creatures and he's going to concentrate fire on the one closest to him.

Okay. First shot, swift action, study target. First shot, many shots. That's a natty 18. I'm assuming that's a hit. Do you do your mischance? Oh, mischance. 22. Oh, mischance. 22.

Oh, wow. Oh, God. How about a 30% mischance? I feel like that's more fun. You never hear a good 30% mischance. You never do. You never know. But that was back when you could buy an $8 prize?

That's right. Times have changed. Uh, that's 53 points of damage. Okay. That's the points of damage. Okay. That's the first one. Second attack. That is a natty 10 for a 27 to hit. 27 misses.

Before you resolve that attack and miss, Baron will enact an immediate action and take an attack of opportunity using his target of opportunity speech. What? Solo tactics on the inquisitor so because he is within x amount of feet of you if he misses an attack you get an attack he made it i just didn't want to interrupt skid in the middle of it but okay best i thought it'd be a good time yeah i should have taken after the first one so here we go that is a so he's 25 feet away. This is against regular AC, but it is still a 33 to hit.

That is a hit. All right. Is this the first time you've used that power? Since Nestor's been back, yeah. Wow. I probably should have been using it more. I can only use it. I can't just, like, pop it off.

It's an immediate action, so I only get once. But this is the thing you were talking about. It's, like, for ranged attacks, right? So you weren't using it for Metra's ability. Right. The flavor and people have shouted me, but the flavor of your missiles and slings and arrows, it felt more appropriate

to use it with someone using arrows or a bolt or something like that. 69. The best possible thing to do. Does it just ever stop with you? Does it ever stop? Every day is full of sunshine that emanates from within myself.

And you rolled a 20% miss chance? That was the 69. Oh, that was the 69? Yeah. Best possible result. Let me give myself 69 hit points back. All right. So, jeepers.

What is the best possible result? He dies. He just dies on the spot. I will say the bullet pierces through his arm and he drops his greatsword.

Wow, that's amazing! Here's the damage. What an incredible shot, dude. 22 points of damage on that attack. 22 points of damage. And Nestor still has one attack left. I do. 69.

Let's get one more. This is the first time I've done that. Glowing horseshoes. And that is a 29 to hit? 29 hits. Okay. All right, let's see. Missed chance. Oh, missed chance. Oh, yeah, to hit. 29 hits. Okay. All right. Let's see.

Missed chance. Oh, missed chance. Oh, yeah. Missed chance. Thank you. Let's get another 69. 39. 39.

No one ever missed. And that is a missed chance. Oh, wow. Except Joe. Joe, fire some ranged weapons. That would be me. 28 points of damage. Oh, boy.

Good round there, fellas uh all right now it's baron's actual turn you ought to use your media actually you son of a bitch uh that's true oh and uh i'm gonna do blood reader how many uh hit points does it have left 86 oh wow really yeah okay 86 the worst possible possible result truly um i'm in a sticky situation here yeah it sucks to be you uh i'm gonna shoot against regular ac and hope that i hit uh and make sure that rampage shot is off before i get going okay here we go the first attack is a natural one. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Dabbing in this fire, let's see if it fumbles. Obviously, you have the slate spider, but is it a fumble? It's already been active for a minute, remember? Oh, that's right. It's the same day. Is it a fumboney? That is a 26 to hit. Against regular AC?

Yeah. We got a fumble, folks. We got a fan fumble and a misfire. What if the fan fumble is, if it's Baron, he shoots himself and dies? Oh, this is horrible. This is horrible. Too much? Sounds a little bit OP to me.

Yeah. Well, you never know with the fans. Oh, God. If this fumble is attributed to Baron and his gun happens to be misfired at the same time. Accidents. Uh, gosh. Okay, here we go. This one from Gary in Brooklyn.

Hi, Gary. Gary in Brooklyn, New York. Brooklyn in the house. Splintering shot. Oh, this doesn't sound good for us. The projectile fragments as it leaves the weapon or your grasp of throne. The shards affect all creatures, including the attacker, within a five-foot burst centered on the attacker. Normal damage to all creatures in the burst, including you.

Reflex save for half damage. So you and Dalgrith Oh no, I'm not within 5 feet I'm 10 feet away He's on the ground, technically I'm also 10 feet away So it's only a 5 foot burst Yeah, it's a 5 foot burst

Alright, so reflex save to negate It might not be anything Because he has evasion Oh, he doesn't have evasion God damn it Come on not be anything uh would because he has a half yeah oh he doesn't have a vision yeah come on natural one oh dude it's piling up so wait is it normal damage yeah normal yeah to yourself but i mean it doesn't have the bane right no bane you don't have dwarf bane on there that was a real dumb move i called down a judgment of sacred dwarf bane that was the modification after age of the Gun.

That's right. So how much damage do you deal to yourself? It makes sense, too. It's like the gun explodes, basically. Are you up close and deadly? Backfires. I'm not up close and deadly, but I turn deadly aim back on, which is why I confirm the fumble. I should have left it off outside of my range anger.

I'm back and forth. I'm vacillating. It's a total of 21 points of damage to myself. Boom! The most damage anyone has hurt you or your allies in this room. It's true. We really often are the ones who hurt ourselves the most. It's true.

It's very true. Let me ask you which ones you're here. You always hurt the ones you are. So if I can suspend... I forgot how we rolled on this if i can suspend my full round attack since i've only taken one action and spend a move action and a grip point uh to clear the misfire i'd like to do that i'm pretty sure that's fine okay uh so that is my turn and i have one grip point left oh actually did i i didn't kill the giant right no did you

yeah okay i have two. You have two good points. All right. Beautiful. You live forever. Metra, you are up. This creature reached out to you, extended a hand, and nothing happened. You did the same thing to one of them.

So I'm going to do the same thing now to the one in the back, the one that still has its sword. Okay. I'm going to reach out towards it and shoot a ray. Ooh. Is it Ray Liotta? It's a natty. 15 is not Ray Liotta, so that's a 27 against

Touch AC. 27 against Touch AC is a hit. Let me see if you need to take a mischance. I don't think you do. Each ranged attack directed at you for which you must make an attack roll.

Yeah. 25. For the mischance? Yeah. You know what? Just roll the damage. Okay. Well, it's not damage.

So roll a four-tooth save, which you will definitely pass. I don't know. I didn't before. Yeah. I made that one. 35. Okay. So this is Raven Feeblement.

Ooh, that's good. Nice. So you take... It is Ray of Enfeeblement. Ooh, nice. So you take... It is Ray of Enfeeblement. So it'd be 10 strength damage, but you passed your four-toothed save, so you take five strength damage. Five strength damage on a Ray of Enfeeblement. Now that makes me want to take my target of opportunity with his rays,

if they have a ranged attack on them. The way you read that description there. I don't know what to do. Yeah, you made me roll a mischance. Yeah, well. You're learning as you go, so you can share that information. Wow, that really is a big chunk to

its strength. Thank God I passed the fortitude save. Do you want to move at all? Yes. In fact, I will move. I will take a five foot step Okay And then I'm done I take a five foot step closer

I'm almost directly behind Nestor now Alright the one up front is the one Who dropped his weapon I'm not going to worry about him so much But the one in the back Is going to come up to baron and uh take one swing i should not and now there's no defensive bonuses from where i am in the pew and him swinging right now you're an eye level with it uh that's what allowed you to shoot it without

you with eye level is it a bar stool with you tiny tiny little you. I really don't want to put power attack on because of your AC, but you know what? I'm going to do it because if one hits and if I can crit, it might be nice. Come on. You'd enjoy it. Good roll. We'd all have a good time, I think. I wouldn't. Critical threat, Natty19 with a great sword.

Oh, man. Critical threat. Do you want to know the number? You have to roll to confirm before you roll. No, I'm just going to roll it and see what happens. Oh, baby. This could be good. Oh, dear.

This could be a lot of damage with power attack. I'm fucking scared. 24. Nope. What was the number? 33. Okay, and it wasn't an at 20 so it's no exploding dice. They got improved crit. This is the enfeebled

giant too. This is the enfeebled giant. Oh, so this, oh, yes, I had that on there. This would have been even better so what did what was your total on the first attack uh 34 but did you take

into account the strength difference yeah I have been brave and feeble on the okay great yeah all right so it's gonna be 34 points of damage. That is hard.

And it hurts. And Baron says, ow. The other one. The tall gray sees this, like, over the edge of the pew, just like. Brutal. Could have been way worse. Wait, so he picked up his thing? No, other giant.

The other one, however, does pick up his sword with a move action and then goes to cast a spell on Dalgrith. Oh, so he sees me. Dalgrith. Oh, no. That's right. You're hiding. I forgot you were hiding. I bet you did.

That was the idea. That was good. I forgot it was hiding. I bet you did. That was the idea. That was good. I forgot I was there. That was damn good. Pretty soon I'm going to do nothing to you. And then Nestor's going to kill you. Alright. Again reaches out his hand towards Metra.

Just really focusing on you, a little battle of the magic wits. Roll a will save. 90, 17. 32. Get that shit out of here. Battle of the wills. Metra wins again.

This is a different giant, but they're both trying their will again. They're all just trying to get you. No good. Top of the new round. Dalgrith, you are sneaking back there. As far as you know, they can't see you. However, one has moved up and, like, you can see it.

Oh. This is so bad. But it just did a number on Baron. And so he doesn't want his brother taking that kind of damage. So here's what I want to do. Okay. I want to just jump on the pew, jump on the back of the pew, and then jump onto the giant.

Okay. So like, vroom, vroom, vroom. Do you want to do it stealthily to see if you maintain the ability for it to not see you? Or you just want to jump, jump? I want to do it acrobatically, you know, to avoid the attack of opportunity. But I'm not worried about stealth. It's going to see me coming. Right. Yeah.

Getting up on the pew, no problem with the acrobatics check that you can do in your sleep. Getting over the pew to him, you'd have to try to avoid the attack of opportunity. Okay. So rolling against his CMD. Yeah. So we'll say you just get up on the pew, no problem. There's no natural one in skill check, so you're going to get up there. Your speed is going to slow down, obviously.

Yeah. Now roll to avoid the attack of opportunity That is A 42 Against its CMD That is a pass Okay And then another roll to actually jump on it And cling on

Go cling on Come on You can't get like high rolls uh this is a tweener i think oh no maybe not 38 38 is enough you're on it okay nice oh man all right so he leaps past baron uh and just grabs onto the creature and kind of gets in his face you're gonna have to deal with me now you son of a bitch you're kind of of like Chucky. Yeah. You just run up and jump off. And he just distracts them and irritates the shit out of them. Yeah.

And all I need to do is draw its attention away from you and Baron. And then you can just riddle it. You know what I mean? All right. So you are on top of it. And moving right along, it is Nestor's turn. All right. Nestor is... Okay. along it is nester's turn all right nester is uh okay so he is going to do a swift action and do

study target on the second one the one that dalgreath is on now okay um how many how many hit points does it have that's a different one yeah do you get to you can just find out yeah it's a study target any anyone that i have studied target on oh it has 186 hit points oh wow so what are you using uh excuse me 189 that's a blood reader no i know study target now what does that use in an action economy uh it's a swift action oh that's a fucking amazing yeah and i think i can have i think i can have three at once at my level i'm not sure um so Just study everyone in the room. Yeah, three rounds and then take them all out. Okay, so he is going to

take a beat on the other one. The one that Dalgreath has not jumped on. Try to finish it off first if he can. The other one, okay. And first attack with the mini shot. That is 29. 29? Okay, now roll the uh, 29. 29?

Okay, now roll the mischance. And mischance. Any of these gonna work? You are due, Troy. 77. Oh, lucky 77. Spirit of 77. Oh, yeah.

Uh, and that is 50 points of damage. Okay, that was the one that only has 86 hit points left. Right. 36. All right. Finish it off. Second attack. Let's see.

Come on. Hit this one. I don't think so. It's a 26. 26 misses. Okay. Final attack. Natural one.

Oh! Oh! To confirm with your lowest base attack bonus. I'm totally going to fumble this. Oh, 90, 16. That is a 28. That's it exactly. Oh, God.

So not a five. Your lowest attack bonus is plus 12? Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. Wow. So just a miss. What could have been real ugly, and Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. Wow. So just a miss. What could have been real ugly.

And it is Baron's turn. Baron. I'm going to take a five foot step back. Five foot step back. Baron, Dalga just jump, jump, jump, jump past you. He's now on top of the giant that is five feet away from you. So tippy toes on top of this pew. You can see Baron standing there and kind of balancing.

Not too hard because it's giant size lumber. But talk to me about the acrobatics checks. Do they have reach? Do I need to do? I want to move away and avoid attacks of opportunity. You have no reason to think they don't have reach with their size and the weapon that they're using. So, yeah. Where do you want to move to?

You want to hop off the pew? So, yeah, where do you want to move to? You want to hop off the pew? I kind of want to stay on the pew and move to the very edge of the pew, like dancing on a needle's head right there where I pinged on the map. All right, see if you can avoid the attack of opportunity. Natural one, Troy. Oh, my God.

Back to back to back. So that would be no. It is going to. This is the enfeebled one. I still get there, though, correct? You still will get there, but it still has power attack on, and it will try to reign supreme. I should have just taken an attack of opportunity for you.

I wasn't thinking. I did a grant roll right out of the box. Natural two. All right, you're good. All right. So you get out of there scott free and hold on i gotta readjust myself so the horseshoe fits up there real nice i'm gonna keep you on that square there you were kind of on a yeah that's what he was trying to do yeah uh okay here we go one single shot one shining moment uh not a misfire but as close as possible.

19 against touch, AC. 19 against touch. Well, actually, 21 against touch. Yep, that's a hit. All right, here comes the damage. Here comes the boom. Joe's face watching Grand Du Math is always precious. It's just painful.

It's because of the giant's bane not being applied here And I can't tick it on in a box because it applies greater bane So I always forget about the plus two bonus Anyway 34 points of damage against that daint Gross, very very gross Oh, it has two left Alright, dammit

It is Metra's turn Metra, you're winning the battle Will you win the war? Very, very gross. Oh, this has two left. All right. Damn it. It is Metra's turn. Metra, you're winning the battle. Will you win the war? I don't know, but I'm going to reach out and touch Nestor, and he's going to vanish. That's just rude. Beautiful. Okay, we'll sit.

Do you want to move at all? Yes. Okay. Metra is going to slip along the edge of the room and get into the pews. Get into the pews. That is smart, because with Nestor out of the way, that thing could have just charged directly at you. Can I be in this square? Am I squeezing, or I don't know?

Yeah, I don't love it, but that's fine. It's a weird room. All right, so Nestor is invisible. Dalgrith is on that giant. So I think they're both going to have to attack Dalgrith. So this guy. Oh, that's fucked up. Pretty sure here. Let's see.

Yeah, he is able to do a full attack on Dalgrith and the other one is able to do a full attack on Dalgrith, and the other one is able to do a full attack on Dalgrith. It's like seeing a fly on your friend's head and going to swat it and just smack him right in there. That's what I'm hoping will happen with these giants, that they'll just slice off the head of his friend. Oh, dude, he's dead. Six full attacks with a weapon that crits 19 to 20 against Dalgrith.

You won't need a single crit. He'll be dead. We'll see you next week. Oh, no! Come on, man! Fuck. Fuck off! Oh, my God. What a way to go!

I didn't know it was in full attack range. What a way to go! Oh, he's going to swing a greatsword at his buddy's face? Well, maybe he is. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015. Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo. All Pathfinder images are property of Paizo and are used with permission.