The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 249 - Priests of Burden

Episode Date: March 3, 2020

A tactical miscalculation leaves Dalgreath open to a vicious attack! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection, free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH-balancing minerals and crafted with skin-conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. Stranded and alone. He made his bed. Wow. That's cold. The Deathbringer stares down his own mortality once again. Oh, Dahlgrith.

You're my buddy. I love you, Dahlgrith. And nothing. Oh, no. Wow, that's really bad. That's really bad. Can save him now. A single hit.

Is permadeath. Is permadeath. A crit is. What? Complete annihilation. The adventure continues What's going on GCP Nation? It's your boy Grant Berger, aka Sheriff Baron Ashpeak. We just got back from Boston where we had an amazing time putting on another Glass Cannon Live.

Thanks to everyone who came out to support us and for making it a truly electric environment. We were also able to stream it on Twitch, so hopefully you tuned in if you couldn't make it. As always, spending time with the Nash is the highlight for me, and now there's a new Nash shirt hitting the store this week. That's right, you can rip the GCP hard with a fresh new design, but you gotta get them while they're hot you can look for updates on glasscanonnetwork.com or follow us on twitter at glasscanonpod for all of our breaking news speaking of breaking news we will be doing what some have called impossible

we'll be live streaming glass cannon podcast episode 250 live this thursday this extravaganza will start on march 5th 2020 at 8 p.m eastern time tune in to twitch.tv slash the glass cannon and be sure to follow and subscribe for updates on your smart devices also if you're an amazon prime subscriber and you haven't yet please use your free monthly subscription included with Twitch Prime to show your support. It's gonna be insane and I have no idea what's going to happen, so find out with me. March 5th, 2020 at 8 p.m. Eastern Time. That's twitch.tv slash theglasscanon. Anyways, this episode is freaking nuts, so without further delay, please enjoy episode 249.

Any of you guys have a favorite month? Month of the year? And if so, is March any of your favorite months? March is one of my least favorite months. Well, what's wrong with March? Because it's like you're just tired of winter. It's exhausting. And it sort of holds like a fake promise of spring.

It's not real. You're like, oh, it's March. It's going to start getting better. But it just like it gets cold and rainy and windy. And sometimes there's like huge snow storms. And it's just like it just is a lengthening of February that I find unnecessary. Really? Any other March haters out there?

I hate March. I like my April's better, but I like March. Spring training starts. Yeah. Pitches and catchers. You know, I think I would feel differently if I ever went to spring training, which I want to do so bad. I want to go to spring training. Where do the Tillys train?

Clearwater. Oh, Clearwater. I hear it's just the best. I hear the water's clear. There we go. There we go. He already ruined it. I've been to Red Sox spring training.

You're welcome. Yeah, I've never even been. That was one of the things we were thinking about doing for my bachelor party, and it just was, I wanted to get more people to go, so we did Boston instead, and that was a way better idea. That was awesome. That was one of the things we were thinking about doing from a bachelor party. And it just was, I wanted to get more people to go. So we did Boston instead. And that was a way better idea. That was awesome. That was great. We went to three Red Sox games.

We went to the whole series. We went to the brewery. Three amazing games, too. We saw the first switch pitcher in a major league game. Yes, that's right. I forgot that. Well, we saw a woman get horribly injured and dragged all over the field. Yeah.

And all three were Red Sox wins. And they won all three. And was it the last one that there was an incredible comeback? They were down by eight runs or something. Yeah, like an incredible comeback. Was that the birth of Boston Joe? It was. It was.

And death. Birth and death. Grant, you don't like March? It's not my favorite, but I'm confident that with global climate change, I'll like it more as time goes on. Yeah, true. Probably January and February, too. Very excited, yeah. No, this has been a very mild New York winter.

Like, there have been a couple cold days, and then every time it's snowed, it's been gone the next day. I haven't really had a sweep. I like more snow. I like a little more snow. Yeah, it's a little unsettling, honestly, like how mild this winter has been. Cold as shit and gloomy as fuck, but no snow. I like some snow. It hasn't even been cold.

It hasn't been snow. Well, if you live up north like I do. Oh, my God. A little bit chilly. It's a chill in the air. Old country Troy. Live up there. Come on by sometime.

Just call or send a letter. I've been already many times. You haven't heard me? Outside your house? Are you the guy? Are you the squirrel? I was like, who's that tiny everything? I thought it was a squirrel.

I thought that was a pack of coyotes. I just sit in Troy's backyard. I sneak there after he goes to bed. I just wave my hand and set off his light every now and then. Wave your hand, eat some acorns. Hi. This morning at 5 a.m., I heard, whee, whee, whee, whee.

I jumped out of bed and said, someone steal one of my cars? Nope, just the neighbor. Hit the wrong button. But that wasn't enough. I then had to go downstairs. Is that why you have a neighbor close enough? Yeah, just like, boop, boop. And I looked and ran downstairs.

Then I went to pee. And I'm like, well, I'm up now. It's five. Hey, wait. Is it that kind of neighborhood? What do you mean? That you think you're... You fear car theft?

I need more information. You fear car theft in your driveway in your town? No, I just fear absolutely ridiculous things at all times. You should see what it's like trying to get a babysitter for my son because i don't trust anyone you're never gonna go out can i make a suggestion for you yes reorient your anxieties towards things that are invisible that way you won't hate people so much i don't understand what you're saying and so i won't virus viruses bacteria oh there's there's so many ways you can i wash my hands

50 times a day i'm not gonna get any bacteria but i am feeling a little under today can i update you by the way speaking of your jumpiness my sleep numbers lately here we go we're talking uh a good stretch here 85 78 78 86 87, 80, then down to 63. But it's been pretty good. What happened that night? Oh, boy. You don't love making. You don't want to know.

Spent a weekend there one night. When the crib is a-knocking, don't come a-rocking. Oh, boy. Yeah, no, I can't sleep. I think as I'm getting older, I'm getting more paranoid, but more, yeah, paranoid about just ridiculous things. But I don't know. Maybe that's just a part of getting old. Well, as you get older, you do get more susceptible to death from pretty common bacteria.

It's a good thing you made your throne out of used keyboards covered with feces. That's fake feces. What is it that you fear so much? With your babysitter, I get that. But do you fear death? I mean, do you fear loss of property? I have been more fearful of death. I don't want to drag down the podcast,

but I do feel like the permanency of life is making, it's weighing on me more than it did in my 20s and 30s. Yeah, no, that certainly. But every time I start to go down that road, I just bury it because I don't want to go down. I don't want to start really thinking about that. I'm like, oh, it just ends one day. It's over.

Everybody's sad. I feel like I've feared death pretty much the same level since I had a consciousness. Yeah, but do you ever start... We've talked about this before, and I don't want to drag anybody down, so I don't want to talk about it again, but you start thinking about it,

if you really let your mind wander, it's over, man. It's really sad and upsetting to think about. It's called a thought spiral. Yeah, it doesn't take much for me to spiral. But that's what makes every moment so precious. I know, but I still have concerns. And so when I hear a whoop-whoop,

instead of thinking, oh, it's probably just the neighbor's car, I think someone's stealing my car in this really nice neighborhood that no one would ever steal a car in but i still that's where my brain goes to the worst possible uh thing that was me too by the way trying to steal your car damn it you know let's say let's say for just for the sake of argument there was a sly yorktown heights know, clad in a ski mask criminal. That was Jack in your car. Right.

What were you going to do if you looked out and saw him? Show him what for? Yeah. You were going to roll for initiative? I would have called the police. Or because I assume that they all have guns and knives. So I can't run out there with my nunchucks. Right.

Just do what my dad did which is get a uh just get one of those cameras you can stick in a tree or something outside your house so you can just sit wherever you are in the world yeah you just open up the app and you're like oh look a squirrel walked by you don't even want to know what i just spent on fucking cameras in my house oh my god just to potentially watch the sitter that we have not even hired yet oh my dad doesn't do that he just watches his pool so he watches the backyard well they are they're indoor outdoor so when the babysitter's not there i can leave them out at night and just sit in my bed and watch to see what's going on i have real like uh there's no

surprise anybody at this table but i I've got real issues of fear because I have to, the things that I can't control drive me crazy. Certain things I don't care about, but the things like, you know, someone stealing my wife or child or my cars. Stealing your wife? I can't believe you sent them apart

as part of the same sentence. I just was doing three of consciousness. Stealing my wife, wife cat or my cars my child yeah that's uh the big five the big five i i don't i i don't want to point out the obvious but there are things in this world that can help you with that you know like therapy and medication matthew i just got glasses after two years of being blind you think i'm gonna start going to a therapist i sleep three hours a night. I don't have time to sit down and talk to you guys, let alone a stranger.

I was reading today about people who have anxiety and that their brains are wired a little differently. They're basically wired to find threatening things that aren't threatening. Yeah. No, I think I've read that as well. And I can rationalize what you just said, but I can't stop my brain from going there. I'd like to. Did you get any of this from your parents? My mom.

My mom's OCD, like hypochondriac. Is she fretful? Is she a fretful person? Oh, yes. Yes. Very fretful. I definitely am my mother's son. My brother's the same way.

What I find unique about you though is that you channel that into a hatred of human beings. It's not a hatred. It's just that it's a deep, deep distrust. It's a deep distrust. Yeah. I think so. Maybe. Is distrust the right word? I don't know. I feel like

this is going this is probably why i need a therapist i feel like it has to do with being young and excluded do you know what i mean and so you get excluded long enough that you're like i don't want to be a part of any group ah do you know what i mean and so i think that's what it was preemptively you say like you can't fire me i quit rightively, you say like, you can't fire me, I quit. Right. Then you're safe. Your feelings can't get hurt if you automatically exclude yourself. Yeah, what is that called? Is it a tat?

No. It's preemptive. Yeah. It's something preemptive. I can't remember. Yeah. And by the time I went from being the excluded to the one that was exclusionary, it was too late.

I already wanted to keep everybody away. it was too late. I already wanted to keep everybody away. I mean, I was excluded, but I still think I think I still fear the death of contaminants more than I hate the people who excluded me.

Death of contaminants. What do you mean? Death by contaminants? Death by contaminants. You fear that more than... Yes. That's killed more people than exclusion i think disease well yeah i was excluded too but i really i love having friends yeah see i'm not a big friend guy you know what it is like every group of friends that's a t-shirt i'd like to be it's just not in my it's just not in my makeup and i know that sounds like an excuse but it's just

every time i've moved on from one situation to the other, I've lost all those friends. Graduated from high school. I see pictures on Facebook. They're all at each other's weddings. I haven't talked to them in 20 years. College. All those guys go back for every reunion, the 10, the 15, now the 20. I haven't talked to them, you know, but once in a great while, we'll be tagged in the same Facebook page.

What about Greg? If I moved on to another podcast, I'd probably never talk to you guys. I know you wouldn't. And that's really sad. Greg, is he childhood? Greg's a childhood friend. Yeah. I have one childhood friend.

Came to your bachelor party. Yes. And we've been going to school together since first grade. Yeah. I'm the same way, except I usually form, in a group of friends, I form a strong bond with one friend, and I care about them more than anyone else in the group it's a little bit with my high school group of friends i have like two or three that i really like and i keep up with but like yeah especially outside of it it's just i'm terrible at cult

cultivating a friend i am i'm the same way it's the same way too and i but i've developed a habit over the last few months i started i made a pledge to myself that every day i would reach out to someone that i care about in my life that i haven't spoken to in two weeks or more that's a good pledge yeah so it's like it keeps me in touch with like and it's it's it's kept me in touch with like all my like close friends and then it's like it's also gotten me it's like oh i've run out of my list of regular people like i gotta i gotta like dig deeper it's gotten me, it's like, oh, I've run out of my list of regular people. Like, I got to, like, dig deeper. It's gotten me to reconnect with people that I knew back in Denver. It's gotten me, you know, extended family, like, all that stuff.

Well, you straight me as a guy who has a lot of friends. Yeah, I would think of you as like, oh, my good friend so-and-so, and it's someone I've never heard of before, and I've known you for a decade. I really, my therapist pointed out, it's like, you know, you really like people. Like, you like a lot of people and i was like yes i hate people in general but individual people but a person is great individual people i love them yeah yeah so it's it's it's i've always treasured people last death question i missed out on the death lightning round sure you know what's tripping me out now at about 35 is like i don't know yet we're living longer and longer but do i have less living to do than i've lived yet uh yeah i reached that point are you past the halfway point yeah i can't know can't know yet can't know i've had

that thought since i was a teenager really yes really i i've run out that's awful i worry about running out of things to be nostalgic about like i i love feeling nostalgia and sentiment and i worry about am i running out of nostalgia reserves am i going to live long enough past this moment that i can feel nostalgic about it i worry about not understanding the like the next generation yeah to a point where like i'm irrelevant to like anything that's happening right it's so shocking a point where like i'm irrelevant to like anything that's happening right it's so shocking to me how like i think that about you know to like my grandparents generation i'm like oh they just didn't get anything you know i worry about that for you as well yeah i know and i should i worry about you becoming irrelevant it's a professional

worry for all of us so relevant right now do you want to come sit in my the class i'm teaching the college class i'm teaching? You'll feel that way instantly. Yeah. No, it's just, but pretty soon, those are going to be the people that run everything. Yeah. And it's going to be like,

I don't even know how to communicate with you. You don't want to know my biggest problem? I'm going to tell you right now, and then we can be honest. I got a lot of problems with you people. I got a lot of problems with you people. You're going to hear about it. Do any of you have this thing where it's like,

I always feel like there's not enough time and i get so paralyzed by that feeling and all the things that i need to do that i can't do anything yeah it's called being in the weeds and it's but yeah but it's not just analysis paralysis or just or being like i am constantly like if i have to do the dishes or i like i have to do it as fast as possible just so that I can get back to doing zero. Does that make sense? I feel that. I really felt that way in college.

Like I felt like I was constantly – I loved it so much that I felt like I was constantly – the clock was ticking down. And I was just terrified. To get every experience. Yeah, I wanted to get it all in. Consume every experience. Yeah, but it was just like there was too much that I wanted to do it all. And I ended up not doing much. I want to clarify.

I actually don't fear death. Because I'm not that self-involved. I think I fear dying more than I fear death. The process of death. It's not even the pain. It's like the effect that dying has on people in your life and that kind of thing oh not the feeling i mean i'm sure that will be very unpleasant yeah yeah you you should fear a very painful death yeah i do that's a reasonable fear i don't i don't i don't thought spiral about the pain i thought spiral you know all that hair will keep growing

right off the coffin you'll just look like that thing from Land of the Lost after like an hour and a half. The viewing will be horrifying. What was that thing's name? What was that thing's name? I can't remember. It's like... I'm Googling it.

Quiggy or something like that. Yeah, something like that. Ziggy. Land of the Lost Hairy Creature. It's just matthew's headshot the pecuni are the tribe of hairy humanoid primates that was the one guy though it was the kid all right anyways speaking of land of the lost you're about to land of the lose dalgrith to six attacks oh no um what a way what a way to go you know here's the

thing uh yet again the party gave no choice to these giants by disappearing nester you took a target out of reach and metro ran away they want to be able to inflict as much damage as they can per round after one of their buddies just fell. Stink, by the way. Stink. I thought it was... Stink. Or Opa. Opa. Opa. Opa! Their only option is five foot step, multi-attack,

and the guy on top, or the guy that Dalgrith is on top of, multi-attack. Now that one is enfeebled. The other one could have chased Metro. Could have chased Metro. They were in a war of multi-attack. Now that one is enfeebled. The other one could have chased Metro. Could have chased Metro. They were in a war of the wills. Yeah, well,

don't try and make it seem like you didn't run away and leave your friend Dalgrith to die, because that is very much what could happen here. He made his bed. Wow. It's cold. It's cold. Have you been nervous all week, Joe? Usually these things don't ever end up in death, but... No, I... Yes, I have been. I think it's...'s a couple times recently it's been barren and i've been like man that's rough and

then i go home and live my life and don't worry about it at all well let me ask you this last week i've been like shit like i really think he's done uh-huh now i'm a natural negative thinker right um and you could roll poorly but if you you roll, like, I think even reasonably, he's going to be, you know, flirting with unconsciousness. Let me ask you this. If you crit, like, done, you know. Yeah, the crit, it depends on when the crit happens. If the crit happens when you have 10 hit points left dead, if it happens when you have 40

and it knocks you to negative four, then probably you'll be okay. Are you under the impression that a crit is going to do 44 damage? No. It's going to do at least 90? That's actually lower than what the minimum is. Exactly. Let me ask you this. I'm going to let you choose your form of your destroyer. You're so twisted! Do you want the

one that's... Oh, it's clear of mine! Do you want the one that's enfeebled that you're on to do its attacks first, or do you want the one that is really strong and has all of its power to attack first? You don't know why this feels

so bad. I feel like both choices are bad. I feel like this is a horrible thing you're doing to me. I try to think of the most harmless thing. Something I love from my childhood. A big cheese stick. I would like a big roll. Come on, bread boy.

Make a decision. It's the Gino's mascot. Joe, Joe, Joe. What have you done, Joe? It can't be. It can't be. It's cheesy. What have you done, Joe, Joe, what have you done, Joe? It can't be. It can't be. It's cheesy. What have you done, Joe?

Nobody steps on a church in my town. It's cheesy, McQuiz. Mother puss bucket. Here's a cheesesteak. It's Friday night. I really don't appreciate all the joking and laughter. This is very serious. Everybody shut up.

Shut up. Mr. Enfeebled or John Powerhouse? Now, there's a character name. Oh, yeah. That'll be my new character. I didn't even try to make a difference. Ron Powerhouse. What do you want, buddy?

I'll take the creature I'm on. So the Enfeebled creature. I think this gives me my best chance of living the longest which by the way has been cut down to mere seconds okay so I'll take two seconds of life over one second you want to know which one I would have chose which one the other one because if

you survive the other one you might make it through these I mean this is this one's enfeebled and it's still a lot of fucking damage let me just make I want to make sure that our good buddy here Alev is taking everything into account. Yeah, it is. Okay.

All right, first attack. Crits 19 to 20. Two-handed weapon. Enfeebled. Oh. First attack. That's going to be a hit with a 33. Exactly.

Oh, I thought it was a gimme. Exactly. Oh, wow, just barely. Exactly. Really. Oh, God. Exactly Oh I thought it was a gimmick Exactly Just barely Exactly Really Oh god Power attack is on You know what it wouldn't have been

If I just Would have Hasted And I didn't need to So I didn't think of it You never do Bad start With 3d6

I rolled two sixes So that is going to be 14 37 points of damage Only five more attacks I mean you think this is funny It really is Bad business

Oh Dahlgrith You're my buddy I love you Dahlgrith 21 to hit That's a miss Okay Alright So 33

I thought you were I thought you were nervous. Oh, because the one you're on. Far superior. Okay. Now I see why you chose what you chose. Yeah, because I thought yours was lower than mine, and 33 is what my normal one is against Giants.

Yeah. So a natural 20 on this won't pass your AC. It doesn't matter. It's still a hit. Right. But let's see. It'll still be a crit threat. If you roll another natural 20, it's a crit. okay all right so all right now i just have to survive three

that will hit if they're not natural ones okay so let's see or you just need to get taken out without being taken out let's put power attack back on thank you i. I need that. And let's see what happens. Three attacks. Chris, 19 to 20. 26 on the first attack. Exactly 26 is my new AC. You are unbelievable! And I rolled garbage.

I know, I know. I'm surprised. Garbage. Two sixes and a five on 3D6. Rocks! You are really making me sweat it out. Oh, man, this is bad. Oh, this is so bad because this one isn't enfeebled. So that's... Oh, my God, Joseph!

12, 17, so that's 45 points of damage on the first out of three attacks. Crits 19 to 20. He's just swinging back and forth on this other giant. He's like, you can't get rid of him! You're going to have to screw him! And he's like, oh, okay. You won't do it again. You're going to look here in that water.

And he's just bleeding, spitting blood out of his mouth. You're profane there, Temple. Second attack out of three. 28. 28. Second attack out of three. 28. 6, 5, and 3 on 3D6. Good God.

This is going to leave me, I think, in single digits. 40 points of damage. 8 points. Oh, no! 8 hit points. Oh, no. Worst possible result. Worst possible result. Worst possible result.

But it's his weakest attack. It increases that range of possible misses. My heart is pounding out of my chest. Wow. I'm sure they're going to separate the men from the boys here. A single hit. Is permadeath. Is permadeath.

A crit is. What? Complete annihilation. It is a very low to hit. And you know the AC. I do. It's 26. 26.

It has to hit a 26. Okay. If I would have had haste on, would have missed two of those attacks. Have to hit 26. You have to hit 26. All right. I'll tell you right now. I have to roll a 16 on have to hit 26. Alright, I'll tell you right now I have to roll

a 16 on the die or higher. Oh, okay. Alright. Alright. However, I'm going to roll it on the table. Oh, man. And I'm going to stand up. I'm going to get the mic up here.

And we're going to really see this happen. My hands are shaking. I feel a sweat between my fingers. 16, 17, 18, 19, 20. Cat's Eye Blue? Cat's Eye Blue. It's been treating me well as of late. Is it Dalgrit's time to die?

It is not up to me. It's up to Cat's Eye Blue, which I bought at PAX East a few years ago. Wait. Be careful. Don't roll it into the gap between the two tables. Goes in the gap, doesn't count. With a, uh, whatever it's called. Matthew's going to get a front row seat to this. Grant's hands have not left his mouth

since I stood up. Here it is. Oh my god! What is it? It's a seven Seven! Go for it, Thundberg! All right All right Wow

Wow Live to follow another day Hey, listen, 16, very, very low odds But, I mean, the rocks that have been coming out of that die That was the tensest moment I've had in a while. Oh, my God. The release. I mean, I'm shaking more than I was before the roll.

Yeah, man. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah, you do it on the table. That's it. It's real. It happens. So maybe you are fated to survive. There are two of these enemies left.

Do you have magic missile, by the way? Yes. I was thinking about this. You put him in further danger by making Nestor invisible instead of just taking out the giant when you had two hit points left. I thought about that. I thought about it, but I couldn't get 36 hit points on one magic missile. I took it down to two or four hit points.

Not before I... Wait. No, you didn't. The last thing that happened was Nestor took it down to 36, right? Yeah, yeah. I'm pretty sure it has 36 hit points. It does, yeah. It has 36. Oh, oh, oh. No, you went after me. The last thing that happened was Nestor took it down to 36, right? Yeah, yeah. I'm pretty sure it has 36. It does, yeah. It has 36.

Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry. I thought I took it down to, I thought I did 32 after that. Got it. No, no, it's sitting on the same 36, I can tell you. Sorry for Nestor remembering. But no, I did think all week that Matthew killed Dalgrith. So you're not wrong in your gut feeling. I like how this is the thought process.

We all talk about how without Metro's teleport, this would be impossible and you'd be dead. And then the minute Metro does something to just, you know, not be utterly annihilated, you're like, oh, you killed the whole party. She gives and she takes. Clearly the most selfish character. No, I didn't think that at all.

Dogwrath put himself in a position to be kind of a tank in this situation, but I just didn't think the other one would come at me, which made it almost impossible to survive, and yet he did! To be fair, neither did I. I thought it would chase me. Yeah. Well, here's the thing, man. Because you're still up, you're in a dangerous position here. You get to

go, and then Nestor, and then Baron, and then Metra, so a lot can happen, but you want to clear these giants out. But what do you want to do? Do you want to protect yourself in this situation and let your friends clean up and hopefully avoid an attack of opportunity with your crazy acrobatics, or do you just stab away and hope for the best? No, well, Skid was talking to me between episodes and mentioned something.

You know, I discouraged that. In my head, I heard you say it, and then you actually said it. That was the friend that Skid reached out to. That's right. I feel like this is something we could have talked about, you know, kind of as characters, but he asked me about a series of conditions, and I'm not sure what the

use was, but like, is it extremely useful to you if I make him shaken uh it it is yes okay potentially um okay potentially yeah well see look here's the thing without sneak attack i can't do much damage to the creature so uh dalgrith just bloodied battered like near the end just kind of like you know, he's trying to move and dodge out of the way of these things, but he gets hit too many times. He whips his way up in front of whatever this is, this Inquisitor, Cleric, whatever this thing is,

and just like gets a hold of it, like by its shoulders, plants his feet in its upper sternum area, and just looks it right in the face, and he's just covered in blood, and he just like screams in this thing's face, just like, and it just spits a hunk of blood into its mouth. Oh, wow. It's like Brad Pitt in Fight Club when the guy goes, Yes, yes, exactly. And he's just laughing.

He's like, He spits it in his mouth. You're going to have to do better than that. And I'm going to try to roll a dirty trick maneuver and make him shaken. Oh, okay. So this is my best dirty trick. I have to roll high, but my damage without sneak attack, I'll max out at like 14 or 18 or something like that. Okay.

And you're hoping to beat at CMD? I'm hoping to beat at CMD I'm hoping to beat at CMD beat or match I'm still laughing at it I'm still laughing at it it's Tachino's match that is pretty good alright need a high roll here

need a hero roll from Dahlgraith I'm going back to my original die the die that sucked when Lork did the charging attack I don't use this one much these days, but I busted it out for this ep when Lork tried to attack the general. What's the logic here? Second chances? It's just my oldest die.

I've had this D20 the longest. I had this when we played Jade Region. I had it when we played in our old game. I had it when I ran Council of Thieves. It's my oldest die. It was my first die I bought when I got back into tabletop. So I'm going to give it, come on, come on.

Come on. Here we go. Going to try to make this thing shake and maybe Nestor can do a little more damage. Tweener. Tweener. Tween Zony. I think it's probably a loss.

31 against CMD. No good. No good. Damn. I gave it a shot. You spit in your own mouth. Sp against CMD. No good. Damn. I gave it a shot. You spit in your own mouth. Spit in your own mouth. Chuck, you take 24 points. I take it out.

I can't survive another hit. It is Nestor's turn. Nestor, you are invisible. You know they have some sort of protection against your ranged attacks, but they are flat-footed to you. Yes. Okay, so knowing that his his uh his uh business associates is in dire straits uh he's first going to try to take out the one that's

dalgreath is not currently attached like a limpet to uh he is going to fire off a many shots with sneak attack against its flat-footed AC. Ooh, man, that's rough. That's 26 against flat-footed. You know, I'm thinking to myself, I'm like, you guys probably have this in the bag, but it really comes down to Baron and Nestor's turn and whatever cool thing Metro has to do. And Nestor started off with a miss. Oh, no. Wow, that's really bad.

That's really bad. Because now he's visible. And now I'm visible. Now he's visible. But I was thrilled that you started with that one that's outside of my range increment. And I missed the second shot, too. Oh, my God. No, no, no, no no no no it's a 25 on the final shot three misses oh boy big round for baron and metra i can't imagine what's going through

metra's head you see nester you you you you took a big move there, a bold move, making Nestor invisible. Backed out of the way. That's potential massive damage. Massive. Massive. And it just... I rolled a three. It just didn't happen.

I rolled a three and then a four and then a 12. Oh. Brutal. Baron is going to take off power shot okay is that a thing baron is going to turn on rapid shot okay i was gonna say when baron in the last episode when baron was going down the aisle saying like like he's going to get married. Yeah. I was going to make a joke and say, oh, you should fire Pat Cobel's cannon at them. Oh, that's very good.

And everyone would have laughed and laughed. I would have laughed really hard. I'm still laughing. Good. Baron takes off rapid shot. He wants to be as accurate as possible. Sure. He is going to aim at the giant. And he's going to aim up and he's going to aim at the giant and he's going to aim up

and he's going to say forgive me Dalgrith and he's firing at Dalgrith's leg to take him unconscious so the giant's going to get off of him mathematically wow fascinating that is a 30 against

Titehsi so you hit him Fascinating. That is a 30 against Touch AC. He crits his leg. So you hit him. 30 against Touch AC. Wait a minute. Can you kill him with this? I don't believe it's mathematically possible. All right.

That is 13 points of damage. Wow. Wow. Amazing. So you shoot him. He falls unconscious and then falls off the creature. Yeah. What do you think, he fell 10 feet?

On top of the creature, you know how tall they are. Or he falls into the pew. Might have fallen into the pew, maybe 1d6. First 10 feet is not lethal. I mean, you're pretty high up there. What do you think, Joe? Oh, you do what you want. He is, I mean, I specifically said that up there. What do you think, Joe? Oh, you do what you want. He is.

I mean, I specifically said that he climbed up to his shoulders to spit in his face. He climbed up on the side where the pew was, so I think it would bear to reason. I know there's no facing within Pathfinder, but just looking at the scene, his shoulder would still be positioned next to the pew. I think he would fall off, like, the shoulder down under the pew. Right, but he's unconscious. He's going to hit his head on that pew that's gonna be like million dollar baby 12 foot tall giant 1d6 can six kill you no how about five oh five does kill five though five did a weird clerical error five would kill me uh so you fall and let's see if you fell in the pew direction or if you fell

frontwards. Meaning take another one decent? No, no, just to see which direction you fell. I'm going to fell. Yeah. You fell towards the pew direction. So you're on the other side of the pew on the ground and Baron may have very well just saved your life. Wow. And he definitely earned a bottle cap. Yeah!

Whatever happens, that's just really fucking cool. That is pretty sweet. I was thinking like I was like, wait a minute. How many hit points do you say? And I looked and without the giant Spain. Wow. I am jacked up and good to go right now. I should be crit him now.

The final two shots fired. The final two shots against this giant. Go to shoot him in the leg. I hit him at the base of his spinal cord. Yeah, I could do a natural 20. Everyone's just like... Is he a named character? It's a times five crit. It ricochets. It hits your friend.

The burger special. I look it up online. It's to kill Dalgrith. 28 points of damage on the second attack. Okay. Did you hit? Final attack. Yes.

Okay. It was a 19 against Touch AC. Yeah, you're within your Touch AC range. You're going to hit on everything. 16 against Touch AC. 16 against Touch AC. Yeah, that is a hit. Actually, it's an 18, but it doesn't matter.

That's to me. Don, but it doesn't matter. That's to me. Don't say it doesn't matter. That's only 20 points of damage. Only 20. That's all right. Anything left in the tank? No, that's it, because I turned off rapid shot, because I wanted to be sure to hit Dalgrith on the first one.

You did, and he's bleeding out on the ground. It is Metra's turn. You see Baron shoot Dalgrith, assume that he's bleeding out on the ground. It is Metra's turn. You see Baron shoot Dalgrith, assume that he's dead. He snapped his neck on a stone pew. He's now on the ground. So I'm just watching the giants, and Dalgrith is like...

So Baron shoot him. You see the blood fly out of his leg. Hot steel rips through his thigh. You see a wry smile wrap around Baron's face as it happens. I've been waiting months and years for this, even though we've only been together weeks. I got so sick of hearing everyone talk about how cool Dalgrith was when Baron killed all these things. Well, it's like all the great gunslingers. It's like if another challenge, he's so famous, he's like, got to take him out.

Right, right. You could have just dueled him. He was your John Wesley Harden. God, your depth of ridiculous knowledge. Oh, boy. Metro, what are you going to do here? I'm sorry, everybody. Fireball on Dalgrif for good measure?

Yeah. I've been interested to use that fireball. Baron must know something we don't. Fireball. No, I'm sorry. Troy, can the enfeebled guy roll a reflex save? Reflex save. Okay, they're not super spry.

Oh, that is cracked. And it was a two super spry. Ooh, that is cracked. And it was a two or an 18. Definitely more 18 than two, but I'll reroll. And that's a natural 20. Okay, well then you avoid the hungry pit. Oh, the hungry pit! She's gonna stay hungry tonight! Do you want to move?

I did. Does that mean that the giant has to move from its position, or it just repositions the pit? No, the pit's where the pit is. I don't know what happens to the giant. I'll draw it on the... I think it's similar to create pit in that it jumps to the nearest space if it makes the reflex save. I might be making that up.

I think that makes sense. I've pretty much always fallen in your pit, so let me draw that pit there. I'm drawing it for you. Oh, that's where it goes? Yeah. Okay, so I was there. You were just trying to catch me in that one little corner. So he'll go, skoink, and be out of the pit. But he is on the edge, so if I stay there,

I will have to roll a reflex save at the end of my turn. It's true. However, he's going to five foot step and full attack Nestor coin. Oh my god. This is the enfeebled guy. Anything could happen.

Coin's full HP-ish, probably. Close-ish. We'll leave power attack on. Thought this battle was over. Could have been First attack Natty 17

35 to hit 6-5-4 on the D6s For fuck's sake How are you rolling like this? 38 points of damage on the first attack Second attack Natty 2 Miss on the second attack God's sake. Second attack. Natty, two.

Miss on the second attack. Crits 19 to 20 if you're following along at home. Might miss on the 19 right now. I'm feeble. It might. It might, Joseph. It just might. All right.

That's going to be a 22. That is a miss. Miss on the third attack. All right, Nesta coin. Okay. Should that other one just channel negative energy? 3d6 to everyone, including Dalgrith. You're too scared about that.

I mean, a lot of real good options here. That Hungry Pit causes a bit of a pickle here, because he either goes after Unconscious Dalgrith or goes after Nestor. Because, again, of the positioning here, I want to go after Baron because it's clear that you're doing a lot of damage. But I just can't get over there. And you'd have to, like...

Because of the Pit. With the Pews there, too. Roll that Reflex save, my friend. I do have to roll a Reflex save. Isn't it if you end your turn next he did it and i did this time oh the one that moved yeah yeah 25 you pass whoosh and i totally forgot um but i rolled a 90 17 uh okay This dude This dude here Alright so this one is going to close on Nestor Kind of back him into a corner there Where even if Nestor takes a five foot step It's going to still be within range potentially

Yeah let's get right up on top of him And take one swing. You can't swing your weapon if you're that close. If you have reach. Oh, you can't? Do you have to make natural attacks? No, you can. You can.

Because the greatsword isn't a reach weapon. He just has reach because he's tall. Oh, is that true? It's if you have a reach weapon. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Greatsword has to have reach with your weapon?

Yeah, you have to have reach with the weapon in order for it to... He does have reach with reach weapon. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Do you have to reach with your weapon? Yeah, you have to reach with the weapon in order for it to. He does have reach with his weapon. No. He doesn't, right? His reach is 10 feet. The reach is 10 feet. That's just his natural reach. Oh.

Like, if he had, like, a long spear, he would be 20 feet or 15 feet of reach. All right. One attack. 19, 20 crits. Power attack's on. Natty 2 Misses You can't hit Nesta dude The one attack

That's so silly That you would even try Dalgrith roll to stabilize Similarly to the death roll I need a Natty 16 to stabilize Come on baby Does not stabilize Loses Similarly to the death roll, I need a natty 16 to stabilize. Come on, baby. Does not stabilize.

Loses one. Loses one hit point. Could that be the one? No. Let's find out. I mean, you've got to finish him this round. It's Nestor's turn. Nestor is in a tough position here. What resolves first?

If I attack him with a ranged weapon weapon does my attack resolve first or his the attack of opportunity resolves first that's stupid yeah that's really dumb like his giant thing that's crazy um well are you in uh possibly ready to go unconscious uh i'm in rough shape i think oh yeah no i think i would survive all right so he's gonna take a five foot step back okay um and only in only in threat range of one of them where you stepped right behind that first I think. Oh, yeah. No, I think I would survive. All right. So he's going to take a five-foot step back. Okay. Only in threat range of one of them where you stepped, right behind that first door that Dalgrith went through. All right. Many shot.

First attack. All right. So. Misses again. Natural two. And then I'll take the attack of opportunity. Stay with Cat's Eye Blue here. Power attack still on.

It's 19 to 20. So stressed out. 34 hits. Oh, God. Four. stay with cat's eye blue here power attack still on it's 19 to 20 so stressed out 34 hits for 36 points of damage oh my god now does each attack provoke

yep yeah does he have combat reflexes jinx he doesn't have combat reflexes? Jinx. He doesn't have combat reflexes. Can you imagine? Can you imagine? No way, dude.

Not that Geno's fucking mascot. You don't know. He's too full of cheesesteaks to have combat reflexes. Nestor or any of you don't have that information, but Nestor, you've fought a lot of creatures before. You feel lucky? I think it may be a mood point. Because I rolled a natural 20 on the second attack. Now, let's see.

But it swings before your attack resolves. I'll still probably survive. Oh, okay. And I did penetrate. You passed the 20% mischance? Yeah. It does not swing at you. Okay, okay.

So now you have a critical confirmation. This could be a turning point. This could be a huge turning point in the battle. And that is a 90-15 on the confirm. Amazing. All right, what's the total? It's a 31. Oh, no, no, no.

Way higher than that. Sorry. Way higher than that? That is a confirmed crit. Beautiful. Beautiful. That will help a great deal. Huge.

It's not way higher. It's 33. Stay with way higher. This one is Mike G. from Vancouver. What up, G? What up, Mike G. from Vancouver? Shystem? Fenster?

Shoot the glass? It looks like German or something. Your projectile hits something on or around the target as well as the target, causing dangerous shards to cover the ground surrounding it. The target takes double damage and any movement by the target, including a five-foot step, is treated as being surrounded by caltrops. So you're going to kill it. So it's not really relevant.

Oh, wow. So it's double damage. It doesn't. Yeah, double damage. It was a pint glass sitting on the chair. Right. Shattered. And there's caltrops all over the ground.

Caltrops now all over the ground. Wow. So this should do it. 76 points of damage. That is one damage. Oh, no, wait, wait, wait. No, sorry, sorry, sorry. No, that was wrong damage there.

Oh, that was the many shot? That was the many shot. It's still going to be in there. 64 points. Still there. Okay. Nice. All right, he is down.

That's two down, one to go. Okay. And that's just still got some attacks here. One attack. I've got one attack left. Just out of the range of this giant. And he turns his focus, fires on the enfeebled giant. Another natural 20.

Oh, my God. Roll the 20% miss chance. I can't believe you guys. That's a miss. Oh, no. What was it? 15. The first time.

First time in the whole combat. Oh, man! Oh, God. Come on! We needed that, because this guy's got a lot of HP, right? Yeah, this guy is, like, almost full. Big, big round for Baron here, standing at the edge of the pew. Oh, the enfeebled guy's almost full?

The enfeebled guy is in good shape, except for the enfeeble man. How many points does he have? You know that, right? 107. Oh, shit. Oh, right? 107 Oh shit, 107 He's dead I mean, unless we get some Misfire action With deadly aim

And rapid shot on Anything could happen Luckily, even standing next to the deadly pit He is within my first range increment It's time to unleash. Shoot him into the valley. Natural one. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, bear, bear. It's the worst. Is this what you feel like all the time, Joe? Oh, my God. Pretty much every game. You said that so cheerfully. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm so happy to have a buddy. You had two this episode. Dude, let's fist bump. Natural one, buddies! This isn't particularly the way I wanted to make friends. We talked about how hard it was

for all of us to make friends earlier, but let's be buddies. Natural one, buddies! Jeff, in this fire, is it going to be a fumble as well? It is a 16 against touch AC. It would be a misfire on its own,

but I believe in the past we've ruled that like a... Yeah, no, this is a separate thing to see if it confirms the fumble. So 16 against touch. Actually, 18 against touch. That is not a confirmed fumble. Fucking, I wish that my sheet didn't say greater ban or else I'd turn that on anyway not a fumble

Baron will do what he did before interrupt his action he now has one grit point left after using a move action to clear baby that's not a lot of grit and that's your turn that's my turn my whole turn there are turns

Matra and there are turns. Yeah, no kidding. What do you got there, Susie Spells? Metra is not really built as a blaster, especially not... She's got a couple of blast spells that aren't really effective in a volcano. Yeah. Want to use some fire spells? How about a little fire, Scarecrow?

It's going through Mettra's head. She sees shit like this on the shadow plane? Yeah, usually, but the creatures are just usually a lot weirder. Yeah. All right. All right. All right! Everyone's in...

I only do it because everyone's in moral peril But please roll another reflexer Alright, hey, you know what? We talked about this on the fodder a couple of weeks ago Sometimes you gotta do it But man Just leave it on one dice roll What do you got?

I got A Uh 22 You pass What do you got? I got a 22. You pass. What's the DC? 21. And now you gave it a free step into full attack range on Baron. Or Metra.

Or Nestor. You don't know where I drew the square. Yeah. Draw it the same place you wanted to draw it before you knew that it escaped it. You dirty, hairy cheater. Oh, okay. Oh, that's smart. Yeah.

He's playing three-dimensional chess. It's right to the southwest of the other one with a five-foot gap between them. It actually jumps away from Dalgrit's body and Metra and Baron. Closer to Nestor, in fact. Metra is then going to move to Dalgrit's body. Okay.

And put the killing blow on him. And that... You have to finish him off. Drive a dagger into his stomach. I did it before. You have a good acrobatics You can flip up there pretty easy He's on the ground No he's not

Troy said he was on the ground next to the pew Your head's on the pew You're cracked open But your lifeless body is hanging out Why are you laughing? This is horrible. Just piss everywhere. You know what?

Did you hear a dog raise shit on himself before he died? This is why he has trouble getting... Died crying like a bitch. He has trouble getting a babysitter because he thinks everyone thinks the way he does. It's true. Alright, I am trying something interesting here. The giant runs towards the way you came in.

Oh, God. That's so lame. Runs. But because it can only run in a straight line, it gets sort of to the edge with a little bit of it peeking out. I mean, that's prime coin territory. It's prime coin territory. I'm trying to see if, I mean, there's nothing I can do. I can only run in a straight line.

I'm just trying to see with the obstructions. Coin is already having trouble hitting. It's going to add a little some bonuses to its AC, but one problem at a time. It's a new round. Dalgrith roll to stabilize. DC 17 now? DC 17. Seven tizzle.

DC seven tizzle. It's not going to matter. 90-15, so fail. Fail matter. 90-15. So, fail. Oof. Fail. That's all good. On the 90-15. Okay.

Nestor coins turn when I say huge rounds. I mean huge rounds. All right. So, I think I actually have a clear shot from where I'm standing. Yeah. It passes through that chair, which I think gives it a plus two. Yeah. Okay.

Very small little bonus. Okay. He's going to unleash the full fury. If I could have made it five more feet, none of you can see it. First attack. That's a 30. 30 would hit with the plus two. Roll the 20% miss chance.

AC is now 30 to hit. You couldn't have double moved five more feet? He ran. I ran. Full action. I rolled a one. Oh, no. An actual one out of a hundo?

Yeah, on the concealment. I've never seen that before. Yeah. Oh. That means you don't get to take the rest of your attacks. By the raw. I'm just going by raw. I don't think.

Second attack. You need some big rolls here now. So the crits. Where's the crits from the Hellgeek House? Another cock die. Oh, that's a 90-18. Okay. There we go.

So that's a hit. Okay. Concealment. 38 on the concealment. All right, all right. Now you can. 25 points of damage. 25 points of damage, okay.

How many points do you have left? I'll tell you. 82. Yeah, there's... Even if I crit him. Even if you crit. Unless it's some crazy fan crit It's gonna get away

Five times damage fan crit And a miss on the last attack Miss on the last attack Baron this thing is way out of your range now Clearly you should just finish Dalgrith off Baron will I mean I'm assuming Metra is going to pull out

Oh he's on the ground though so Baron will hop Down and Move on the other side and cast Cure light wounds with a Plus seven bonus on this d8 Onto my good buddy Dalgrith Nice 14 points of healing That brings it back up

Why did you shoot me I know To save your life points of healing Why did you shoot me? I know. To save your life. Points of healing. I had him under control, Baron. I was going to take him down next round. Then he passes out. Metro, you're up.

You see Baron brings Dalgrith back up. He's still alive. That's great news. Yeah. Because Metro will grab Baron. Yes. And Dimension Doris into the room with the mask

into the room with the mask oh wow she's like stay here Dogwreath and then we go show me where you go don't do this again show me what you got earlier take me with you Grant of 248 episodes ago would have hated this because it would have put him in danger you grant of 248 episodes ago would have hated this because it would have

put him in danger but grant of 249 loves it i'm taking i i can't grab just me so i'm gonna grab me and then i'll grab baron okay this is great i want to see where you end up it's huge it's very very important because it's the creature's turn right next we shouldn't be in the master room because it go could go any other oh man up to you matthew, Matthew. Well, I'm not going to put you in the car or you're going to die. You should definitely put him in front of you, though. I can't, actually. Oh. Goody.

Pickles. Goody! I'm going to put us on the north side of the... kind of the northeast side of the fire. Okay. I'm actually going to move. The old bridge. That's's smart and that was your same positioning from before yes we're diagonal to each other so Metro blinks

us into the room we're basically I'm adjacent to the fire and Baron is to my Northeast and we are awaiting this giant friend who I believe would have to squeeze through this corridor no they're shaped for their size, though the map may not tell you. They didn't build a corridor.

Guys, just make it a little bit smaller. It looks like a five-foot square. I want people to struggle. It gets volcanically formed, and they didn't finish opening it up. And he's got to crawl out. It's true, it's true. These guys seem to live in the room. You need to live without that hair.

It's its turn. live in the uh the room you need to live without that hair uh it's turn and uh it was planning on just be bobbing and scatting down this hallway to try and get somewhere uh but instead it stops right where that blast of electricity was it sees you. And that's its turn, unfortunately. You know what? It'll move. If it ran in, I can get a little bit further, a little past where that trap was.

And it just yells in giant. Lord, how long has it been? And you hear, anybody speak giant? You or Grant? You anybody speak giant you or grant you must be yeah yeah we have grant you must speak giant we said i have it's not on my character sheet but i've put a point in linguistics and blah blah blah so i should previous previous

episodes i have why don't you put it on your previous i got a good reason i don't live in the woods. Something. Nestor. Like this guy. He sleeps three hours a night. He does the dishes in 20 seconds.

And then he's on to his day. Back on the couch. Nestor speaks it if he can hear what there's saying. Something to the effect of the heroes of Ashpeak are here. Wow. Who are they? It's a new round. It's Dogwit's turn.

Dogwrith, clearly you're ready to jump back in the fight. Yeah. Hell yeah, dude. Click those heels and do it. Oh, it's enough being in. Dogwrith will click those heels and start running out of the room. And he'll catch up. Eventually.

No, what are you really going to do? That's what I'm going to do. You're going to click the heels and go? Yeah. With 14 hit points? Not even? I have two. Two hit points.

I'm not going to just stand in the middle of a horrifying, creepy chapel while my friends are fighting these enemies. You're a bold dude. Speaking of bold dudes, Nestor, you're up. This thing's run out of the room now uh nester is pissed he's really he's really frustrated because he knows he got like one crit in there but like the shimmering shield like knocked his arrow aside last minute so he starts booking it uh and double moves i wish i still had my Slayer's Advance because I could do this in attack. But he moves, double moves into the corridor

behind the giant, and he has his arrow knocked and ready to fire. Boy. This guy's surrounded. Yeah, yeah. That was a cool move. Baron, what are you going to do? Is this thing outside your first range increment?

It is. And you got one grit left? Yes, I do. And he has, well, I don't know how many hit points he has, but he looks kind of down. It looks like they have 10 feet of reach in front of them. Did he threaten the first two squares in front of them? As far as you know, yes.

That's what it's looked like from what I've seen in combat. And it looks like they move about... Doesn't look like he has any sort of extended reach. He's wielding a greatsword, so he's threatening. And it looks like they move. Doesn't look like he has any sort of extended reach. He's wielding a great sword, so he's threatening. And it looks like they've been moving over 30 feet around. No, it looks like about 30 feet. Tactical mind is just... I'm trying to like, I'm trying to see what is the most advantageous position to where I can get off.

Shit. So you took five foot step back or you're just playing around? I'm just playing around right now. Right now you're 40 feet away from the giant. You could also wait. I'll hold for Metra's turn. Okay. Netra?

Metrocast haste. Who gets affected? Me and Baron. Yeah. Okay. Baron and I And then she will move Back

No, it's wrong Who gets affected? Me I want to kill you I'm never going to be able to correct Matthew's grammar Yeah, I just ignored you And Metro will move back A little edge back onto the other side of the fire I thought that was big of you, Matthew

Thanks, Joe You really took the high road Detroit's idiocy a little edge back onto the other side of the fire. I thought that was big of you, Matthew. That's nice. Thanks, Joe. I'm working on it. You really took the high road. Detroit's idiocy. Baron, you are now hasted. I'm assuming you want to wait until it attacks. I just, it's tough because I want to get off multiple shots on it. But I want to stay outside of its full attack range.

Do you have any grit left? I have one point of grit left. You didn't just misfire last round and burn? No, that was a few rounds ago. Yeah, it was a few rounds. Okay. You've misfired so much, it's hard to keep track. Well, I got one back when I killed that other guy.

It's all those misfires. I thought about using my move action to grab you and throw you forward five feet. Okay. I'm moving forward five feet, and I'm going forward five feet and i'm going that wasn't me insinuating anything i was making a joke about i'm grapple check no i think 35 feet no you're good you're good but i think it's going to do come in on me and do a full round attack what no it won't baron and i it can only do a full round attack if you are 15 feet away from it yeah as long as you're outside of 15 feet, unless its speed is higher than 30 feet.

All right, I'll move in 5 feet, and I will... Actually, no, it doesn't matter. Unless the reach is longer than 10 feet. Or just kill it, but he's got an itchy trigger finger. He's been pooping all over the place with that gun. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. I'm firing, I'm firing, I'm so sorry. Okay, you're firing.

You are 35 feet away, just outside of your range, Ankh. I'm so sorry. Okay, you're firing. You are 35 feet away, just outside your range, Hank. Range, Hank. I'm leaving. I'm taking off deadly aim. Okay. And I am taking four full attacks at it. Plus 20, plus 20, plus 15, plus 10, thanks to the haste.

31 to hit. Nice. Roll a mischance. Fuck your mischance and the horse it rode in on! Leave the horse out of this. 65. Alright, that is a hit. Okay. Roll damage. Damage is coming up.

Coming up. Nice. 23 points of damage. Okay. Uh, second attack. Is it 29 to hit? Nice 29 Why are you asking? Roll on this chant

This is against regular AC That's why I'm asking Oh Oh Oh dude I thought you used grit That is Zero zero is zero

Correct That's 100 That's 100 dude No no I'm sorry Six zero zero is six That's a six Correct Oh no Poop Third attack 106 No, I'm sorry. Six zero zero is six. Correct? Yes. Oh, no.

Poop. Third attack. A hundred and six. Third attack is a 30 to hit. Roll that miss. Chomps. Is a 19. I could see it from here.

Oh, my God. I could see it from here. The final attack is going to crit. I'm calling it right now. The haste. Critical threat. Come on. Oh, my God. I'm calling it right now. The haste. Critical threat. Come on! How the fuck did you hit my head?

That is insane, dude. Come on! It's like Babe Ruth. I have never called him before. You never? I don't think so. I don't think so. I'm sure you have a dozen times.

Should we roll the 20% mischance first or the confirmation roll? Roll the 20% mischance. No, roll the confirmation. Roll them all at the same time. You know, that kind of time. Natural 20% confirmation. This is a confirmed crit. Are you going to miss three 20% mischances in a row, though?

16. He did. Oh, my God. He's left the table. Oh, my God. He's left the table. Oh my god. He's left the table. Oh my god. A six, a 19, and a 16!

There is nothing worse in Pathfinder. Ever. Anything. Except negative levels. No, this is worse. But this is why. Oh my god. One important thing about this battle, though, that we need to realize is part of why you hate power attack and some other things is because you're just using it within the sample size of a short battle.

But over the course of time, you were complaining about that 20% mischance. The statistics have corrected themselves at this point with enough of those roles. Yeah, you miss one out of every five hits. Yeah. And when you're doing three or four attacks around, you know, multiple characters, one out of every five hits is a lot of misses. I mean, yeah. But on crits.

On crits. On consecutive crits. On a crit that was confirmed with a natural 20. Yeah. It's also, there's something telling and interesting, and I'm not even sure in Baron's own head what's going on, but there's something about how he left that weird chapel. He's still within the realm of Zersvater, but outside of that pew area that reminded him of his childhood,

he kind of took in maybe the entirety, the gravity of the situation, and the prismatic shield and stopped him. Well, now it's going to charge at you and do one big power attack. You're in a perfectly straight line. It gets right up in your business. Two-hand and the greatsword.

Ah! Fossus Vata! The heroes of Ashpeak have arrived. Plus two to hit. Crits 19 to 20. Cat's eye blue. Come on. Daddy needs a new pair of shoes.

That is going to be. Not a crit. 33 to hit. Thanks to Matthew. That is not a hit. Oh, yeah. You get the dodge bonus. Oh, the dodge bonus with the haste.

My haste is now 34. That's insane. Wow. 34. Oh, my God, this episode is great. You are blessed by Torag. Oh. New round.

Oh, my God. Dalgrith, you've been running through there. Running through. You going to keep going? Are you going to try and land the killing blow, Sony? Not seeing the enemy at all. He's not going to use a round of haste, but he's going to double move. So 40 feet.

40 feet? Okay. Yeah, so he's more than halfway through the tunnel into the next room, where the Giant and Baron and Metra are. Nestor coins turn. I've said this for 10 rounds these are big turns I can't get close enough I can't get close enough to hit him no because of the diagonals I can't yeah I can't I can only I can only

move 25 feet yeah I double moved and I started at the start of the corridor and it was like basically half the corridor yeah I will double move. And I'll come, I'll like whip around the corner and come up into the room ready to fire, but not able to this round. Ready to fire, not able to this round,

walking past where that exploding glyph was on the floor. Does it explode again? It doesn't. It's Baron's turn. Baron, this thing is right next to you. Any movement will provoke. A shot will provoke. I go before Baron now.

You go before Baron now. Metra's the Baron. You didn't see Matthew just wave his hand like a Jedi. I go before Baron now. Matthew goes before Baron now. He helped. Metra's the Baron. You didn't see Matthew just wave his hand like a Jedi. I go before Baron now. You go before Baron now. Matthew goes before Baron now. I'm just letting you know. It's right next to you. What do you want to do, Metra? Throw them both in a pit? Are you still studying

this guy? Do we know how many hit points he has left? I would, yeah. How many hit points is he at? 59. 59. A baker's dozen. He's got 59 hit points is he at? 59. 59. A baker's dozen. He's got 59 hit points left, Metra. Oh, wow. Beautiful.

What are you thinking? What's going through your head? Take us down a walk. It's hard for me. It being a fire giant, it's hard for me to do 59 points of damage in one hit. The game's hard. I can get it with... I probably can hit it with a Disintegrate.

It's almost certainly going to make its Fortitude save. Okay. It's Enfeebled, though, right? Is it still Enfeebled? Is this the Enfeebled one? It should be. That's the one that had the most hit points left. Yes, this is the Enfeebled one. Oh, okay. So maybe.

There's a chance. It's still Enfeebled. It's rein enfeebled. That's multiple rounds, right? Yeah, it's a penalty that lasts. I'm sure it's still fine at this level. One round per level. Okay, yeah. So the Baron's also in a bit of a tricky wicket there.

Do you, baby. Do you. Baron's, Baron, Baron can handle it. Let's roll the dice on disintegrate, shall we? Yeah. Let's see what happens. Just don't roll a natty one and disintegrate Baron. Would you roll a natural one?

On a spell attack? Oh, no. Matthew, say it into the mic what happened. I rolled a natural one? On a spell attack? Oh, no! Matthew, say it into the mic what happened. I rolled a natural one. He's going to disintegrate back! Oh, my God, if it's a mist dragon! Well, I mean, it's against such AC. You're never going to confirm in a million years.

Are you sure about that? Never in a million years. You sure about that? Very confident. Two confirm. Well, do I get a confirm? No, he only gets one attack. Oh, yeah.

I mean, I have multiple attacks, but I don't have multiple spell attacks. You have multiple spell attacks? Sorry, that's a confirmed. How do we work this? confirm well do i get it do i get a confirm no he only gets one attack oh yeah i mean i have multiple attacks but i don't have multiple spell attacks sorry that's a confirmed fumble she does have a quick and meta magic rod that's true it's used it's used that's false oh these are you know these are the worst right matthew yeah let's get let's get one i've hit with i've gotten hit with them before one that says the entire name see you later friends is so so mean is there one called see you later friend oh god oh my god this is so bad with a spell oh god this battle has been one of my favorites in at least 249 episodes uh brutal brutal it's felt like uh it felt like the last I know what that says. Brutal. Brutal! It felt like the last Super Bowl.

Except towards the end. It has all the makings. We'll see. The combat's not over. Okay. This one from Stephen. Hi, Stephen. I like him already.

I haven't looked at anything yet. Is Stephen going to be horrible to us? Stephen in Creswell, Oregon. There are mean people. Pacific Northwest. There's such hateful people up there. Such closed-minded folks. They don't use straws.

The name of this fumble is Arcane Overflow. No. You are magic. You don't know what that means. Oh, no. He does. Joe does. He just gasps. Oh, my God. Steven! Oh no He does Oh my god Damn it

We might be alright but your magic Sputters to life And gutters out A terrible arcane wave Washes over you You become nauseated 1d4 plus 1 rounds Okay not so bad

A fortitude save halves the condition Now I mean if they just kill the giant You become nauseated. 1d4 plus one rounds. Okay, not so bad. A fortitude save halves the condition. Now, I mean, if they just kill the giant, it's not so bad, but she can't do any spells. She can't teleport us or anything. She's done for the rest of the combat, more than likely. Oh, that's only, you can't make move action, you can't cast spells. Yeah, you can't do anything. It's a fortitude negate.

So, here's the thing. No, halves the... Let's say, for some strange reason, here's where my head's at. You come in, you're like, Heroes of Ashby are here. What if something comes down these corridors at the end of this combat? You're like, see you next week. If we're still in combat, she can't do anything for multiple rounds.

How many rounds? Did you pass fortitude? What's the DC? The DC is it's AC. No, I did not pass. Okay, so how many rounds am I at? 1D4 plus 1. I got you.

Five rounds. Woof. Have you ever balanced those to be possible to pass Fortitude saves? Because unless you had like a plus 20 something... Oh, man. You're throwing that to 20. Oh, actually, they're absolutely balanced. Oh, they are passable.

You're right, you're right, you're right. Yeah, that's how they're balanced. I was thinking about Baron. Who was that again? Wait, so mine's Steve. Oh, no, man. You're throwing that to us. Oh, actually, they're absolutely balanced. Oh, they are passable. You're right, you're right, you're right. Yeah, that's how they're balanced. I was thinking about Baron. Who was that again? Wait, so mine's Steve. Oh, no, sorry. Sorry, Steve, it's coming for you. No, good job, Steve.

I just wanted to say, really good job. So I can't move. Steve, what are you writing? Don't worry, don't worry about it. That was Creswell, Oregon. Creswell, Oregon. Okay. Good job.

Good job. So Iwell, Oregon. Okay. Good job. Good job. So I cannot take my move action. Yeah, you can move. Even though I'm nauseated. Yes. It's the only thing you can do. But I already acted. I did a standard action this turn.

It doesn't say you have one action. It just says you can only take move actions, I believe. You have nauseated on your screen, right, Troy? Yeah, you can only take move, but he's saying he already cast a spell on this round. Does it say you can only take one move action? Yeah. Or does it say you can only take move, but he's saying he already cast a spell on this round. Does it say you can only take one move action? Or does it say you can only take a move action? Take a move action.

Yeah, but he didn't become nauseated until after the standard action. He has a move action left. He cannot attack, cast spells, or concentrate. Yeah. A single move action per turn. Yeah, I think he can move. So I'm good. Yeah, I think it's fine. Throw yourself into the brazier Okay Basically what I want to do I'm going to start moving around the brazier

Okay Just past the corpse of the Helgigas It is Baron Ashpeak's turn And how fitting that we are in this room That looks like This lovely room of death The valley between the Mountain range Among which Ashpeak lies.

Perhaps your ancestors supped in this very room. And perhaps you will die here. Baron looks up at the giant and says, back in giant, Oh, you're right. The heroes of Ashpeak have returned. I'm claiming this mountain for myself. He takes a diagonal five foot step back. And then begins a full attack action.

Let me resolve the attack of opportunity first. Please do. Let's do it by the book, Baron. By the book. Power attack's still on. if I haven't mentioned it they crit 19 to 20 you love saying it every round you haven't crit yet natural 20

natural fucking 20 Matthew look at my dice look at my dice I'm not moving don't want don't point and make it look at your dice Nat that's a hundred hundred That's 100% on Joe. 100%. What did I do?

You said you have a crit yet. Oh, yeah. God, I hate when announcers do that when I'm watching football games. I know. He hasn't missed a field goal in 25 years. Way to go, Pat Summerall. So, you know, if this confirms, it'll be 6d6 plus 46 damage. Oh, he's fine.

Yes, he's fine. He is. He's got like 180 hit points. Not right now. To confirm. Not going to confirm. And then if Baron doesn't kill him, it does a full attack on Baron. To confirm. No.

24. Oh, no. Exploding dice. Let me give you some damage there with my D6s that usually only roll sixes. No explosions. 33 points of damage. Boom! With a great sword.

Baron. And he probably hits Baron, like, right in the shoulder and his wrist, and it twists his whole body, and he swings back up with Della right in his face. I can see it. Now he can hit touch AC. That is a hit. Let's not even talk about the total. We should talk about the mischance

though. Yeah, keep that damage guy out. 42. Oh man. Everything. That is terrible Damage though This is huge

Epically huge 23 points of damage How many more attacks do you have? 3 more 5 attacks with haste That's a hit 45 Dang it He's so stressed Yep, that's a hit. Well, if he misfires, it's the only way. 45. Okay.

God dang it. He's so stressed. 38 points of damage. 36 hit points. Oh, God. Fuck. My heart's pounding. Wow. Oh, my God.

Boom, boom, boom, boom. Crashes to the ground. Oh, God. Wow. How many hit points did you say you had left? 36. Oh, yeah, 38. Okay.

I'm so bad at math. Stressful moments. All right, we all. What the hell do you do? This thing ran back into here, shouting in giant. The heroes of Ash Peak have arrived. Metro says. back into here shouting in giant the heroes of ash peak have arrived metro says but then she starts moving back towards the chapel area waving her arm for everyone to follow yeah i think we need to like look in those rooms at least and get reconnaissance and just get ready to pounce out as

soon as we see what's going to happen n Nestor is limping down this corridor, bleeding. I think we need to heal. Let me finish my line! Sorry. Never mind. No, I want to hear it! No, I can't do it now. Way to go, Matthew. Sorry. You really yucked his yum.

Sorry. How's it feel to eat your own medicine? That's not yucking a yum. I just ruined his line. Sorry. Oh. How's it feel to eat your own medicine? Barron and I. That's not yucking a yum. I just ruined his line. That's not what he did. I just ruined his line. You know what?

You enjoying telling well-placed lines sucked. Now I yucked his yum. That was yucking my gum. That's not even yucking a yum either. How do you do it? When you're like, well, it's... You say like, I love Indian food. And the other person says, Indian food's terrible.

Yeah. You're stupid for like... And so are you. Right. Yeah. Just listen to Joe. He does it a lot. He's a yam yucker.

Okay. Anyway, let's resolve that dispute later and go into this room. Yeah, if Metro goes by, Dalgrith will follow in again, also limping. Yeah, Baron follows along, uh we should at least i mean well done baron do do 30 seconds yes okay very slowly i am no longer nauseated um what do we want to do do we want to get out of here do we want to stay there's one door that wasn't open. We're in pretty bad shape. There's two.

Let's open the two. I think they're all gone. I want to see. Cure moderate on Dalgrith for 10 plus 17. You're hurt too, Nesta. What are you at? I am at 46. You have more hit points than I do so i'm going to give them

all to dalgris because he's down not because i don't want to heal you no we have a bunch of cure serious potions don't we everyone has one from a couple episodes ago we've got one 17 17 potions we've got the ones okay Okay, let's check out these rooms. Okay. I think I am going to take my serious potion. Are you guys moving cautiously or just banging open doors and checking stuff out?

Why don't we just use the wand if we're going to take a few minutes? Why don't we hide in one of the priest's bedrooms and use the wand? It's always safe in a priest's bedroom. We'll see you next week. Sounds good. The first one we went in. It seemed fine.

So you go in there, wand up. Get safe. Close the door. You already checked and found a footlocker with, what did I say? 350 gold pieces? 350 GP. Alright, so are you going full up, or you're just getting your bearings, some bearings worth of hit points?

Let's go full. All right. I mean, we have a full wand. You do? Yeah. All right. So if Baron burns all the spells, then you burn a ton of that wand.

We'll burn the hell out of it, but we'll just go full so that just in case, there's no reason not to risk it. We can always go buy another wand another wand all right i'll let you do that off air um so you're just going to search each of these rooms yeah cautiously or just banging down doors bang down doors all right first room you already searched just going from left uh clockwise around second room also has a metal box with 350 gold pieces nice third room also has a metal box. 350. Fourth room. Fifth room.

Same thing. Wow. They all kept the exact same amount of money? It's payday, baby. Yeah, it's payday. You hit them right on... Yeah, we got them. It was Friday afternoon.

They just came back from the check cashing place. So five bedrooms total? Six bedrooms total. The sixth one has that metal box and a wand. A wand just laying right over the foot of the bed. Oh, really? It's a wand of bed making. Which is odd because the bed was a mess.

Oh no, it's spent. You can't just pick up the wand. Zero charges left. No charges left. How many charges tomorrow uh natural 20 on the spellcraft it's a wand of life bubble interesting oh okay oh scary yeah what were they life bubbling what were they life bubbling indeed um and then if that's all the bedrooms can we check out the days yeah you go to check out the dais

and you just see that severed, burnt arm. Singed. Does it appear to be a giant arm? A human arm? Human arm. Human arm. Oh, God. What?

Humanoid, I should say. Oh, humanoid. Oh, God. What? Humanoid, I should say. Oh, humanoid. Can I do a perception on it to see if it's recently burned? Yeah, do a medicine.

If you have it. I can do a heal check, because that's what we have in this game. I don't like your tone. I want you to roll a medicine check. And I want you to use your medicine skill of your other character in the game. That would be much more helpful. So do you really want me to do that? No. I want you to use your medicine skill of your other character. That would be much more helpful. So do you really want me to do that? No. I want you to die.

It's inflicting serious wounds on you with my eyes. 12 on the heal check. Baron got a 29 on the heal check. Fairly recent, yeah. Wow. And detect magic? Did we already do that? Sorry if I missed. We don at it this time. Fairly recent, yeah. Wow. And detect magic? Did we already do that? Sorry if I missed.

We don't detect any magic. We should take the arm. Leave the cannoli. Yep. Jesus. Take the arm. Yes. Take the arm.

Jesus walks out of one of the priests' beds. Jesus walks, baby. I was sleeping. You didn't see me in there when you were rifling through? He is risen! Has anyone seen my 350 gold? Has anybody seen my wand of bed make? I was going to go spelunking

with that wand of life bubble. Alright, I'm just going to roll this stone back over and just wake me up in another 20 minutes. What do you want to do? What do you want to do? You came in here after, with the exception of everything from the dragon

on, mashing. That first battle seemed like you had in hand bloody, not bloody, but flaming skeletons came out of the alcoves and turned that into a real fight to the death, where Baron's life was on the line a number of times, and Dalgrith's as well.

Dalgrith's life and Baron's life, both the dwarves' lives, have been hanging in the balance for the past few hours. Then you go in and get a moment of, we got this, by taking down the Helgegus on the back of Nestor's three crits in 12 seconds. Then you come into this sort of temple, perhaps, with priests' residences spidering out on each end.

And these temple priests come out and really put on a good fight. One of them runs away. And before he perishes, says the heroes of ash peak have arrived what do you want to do can i do a quick knowledge religion on um uh zers vater uh and the this ritual of the burnt arm just sitting on the altar to see if there's a specific you know yeah how's your knowledge religion that's terrible terrible role as always terrible role what'd you get uh nine i didn't do much better 17 17 you don't know if someone was being punished um or sacrificed where there's burning involved.

But the arm itself isn't significant. The arm doesn't seem to have anything. Like the fact that it was an arm as opposed to a head or a leg. Can I detect magic on the arm? We did. We did. We did. But now it, no.

No magic. Anything of note in this temple that we haven't noticed? Did we search the bodies yet? Oh yeah, we searched the bodies. Searched the bodies, yeah. Also, search behind, Dogwrath wants to search behind the altar for any, like, secret anything.

Okay. Compartments or... Perception? Outside the wall, yeah, 30. Nothing. Okay. That's the end of the... Okay.

Each of the temple priests are wearing, these are large-sized, plus-one half-plate, and they each have plus-one greatswords, all large uh they're each i'm just going to tell you these because by now you've seen them long enough uh they each have cloak of resistance plus two oh three of those they each has have headband of alluring charisma plus two oh wow they each have three scrolls of i'm just going to tell you these because I don't fucking care. Three scrolls of Cure Moderate,

one scroll of Cure Serious, and then a bunch of other scrolls and some incense. There's a lot of shit, and they each have all of these. Wow. So you get a bunch of scrolls. How many scrolls of Cure Moderate total? Three each. So nine.

Nine Cure Moderate. Nine Cure Moderate scrolls, three Cure Serious scrolls that how many scrolls of cure moderate total three each so nine nine cure mod nine cure moderate scrolls three cure serious scrolls wow and then they each have four other scrolls so two two two excuse me three three three of these other scrolls and this strange incense in addition to each having headband of alluring charisma plus two and the incense resistance plus two radiates magic uh yes wow moderate enchantment magic and you do want a spellcraft for that yeah roll a spellcraft for that one because this is like not in your uh 21 for baron um not enough not enough to figure out what this is come on mitch she can't do it 14 i. I snort it. All of it. Okay. One long line.

So it's incense. So three doses of incense? Yeah, three doses of incense. And do you need us... Are the other scrolls cool, or do you not want us to figure out what they are? I'm just going to tell you, because they're all... You're going to figure this out. If you don't figure it out now, you'll figure it out the next day.

Three scrolls of delay poison, three scrolls of remove disease, three scrolls of invisibility purge, and actually they each have two of these, so six scrolls of stone shape. I can email these to you, I don't think you're going to use them before the end of the app.

Delay poison, remove disease, invisibility purge, and stone shape? A lot of scrolls, but scrolls are not Delay, poison, remove disease, invisibility, purge, and stone shape. Wow. A lot of scrolls, but scrolls are not really anyone's jam here. I mean, you guys might have to roll on some of those. No, the cure ones. I'm sure they're... The cure ones, no. The cure ones, but the other ones are probably going to be on the...

If they fit into my spell list. You can just cast them. You don't have to roll a spellcraft. Right. I don't know for sure. And then three... I think it's easy if they're roll a spellcraft. Right. I don't know for sure. And then three... I think it's easy if they're on your spell list. Three stone shape.

What's the plan? I'm running low on spells. And we haven't found any sign of Jimma or Thun. I don't know. I think we need to arrest Metra. We also have a lot of information. We said we were going to go back to True now, warn them of the coming attacks, give them the giant plans, and tell them to spread the word throughout Belkson. Aye, we've got to get that word to the outside world before anything happens to us,

and that was a bit of a close call. He's looking across at Baron, knowing both of them were pushing the limits there. Both of them were pushing the limits there. There was a time I let someone go. A man named Lork. He went his own way for a while. When I found him again, he lost his goddamn feet. Tortured, emaciated.

It's a long story. But I just, I want to go back, but I want to keep on pushing too, because I can't stand to think of what they'd be doing to Jimmer. I don't want to leave him behind either, but we're no good to him like this. We'll get ourselves killed and we won't get the word out either. Yeah, I don't even know who this fellow is, so'd like to just leave, please I don't leave people behind Sure you do Well, if you don't, I can teach you

It's quite easy I'll leave him behind Come on, pull the other one We'll come back We'll come back as soon as possible I trust you Alright I'm going to study this room Pull the other one. We'll come back. All right. We'll come back as soon as possible. I trust you. All right.

I'm going to study this room. Okay. One of the priest bedrooms, I think. Yeah. I guess the southwesternmost one. Mm-hmm. Study it so we can try to return there. Okay.

And then I will grab everyone. And teleport us back to Trunel. Trunel! Trunel! Oh, my God. Roll a D100. Oh, why do I forget that every single time? We're going to miss our target and end up on the boat, on Rag's boat.

Where exactly are we teleporting to in True Now? Where was... Metro spent some time there. The inner quarter, right? You just dropped to the middle of the world. That's where you appeared, is the inner quarter. Yeah, I have a... There was a problem with going to True Now before

with our other teleporter. Like, Pembroke hadn't been there, right? Pembroke had never been there. So we could never go... But yeah, of course. I'm just saying the distinction is interesting. It's Baron's first return. Those are tiny D-100s. 47 yeah, of course. I'm just saying that the distinction is interesting. It's Baron's first return. Those are tiny D100.

47. 47. Nice. Okay, so. You guys wink out. And we see True Now. And we see the amphitheater. Empty.

But then we start to hear sounds. Sounds of a crowd. People talking over each other. Children laughing. Hooting and hollering. Sounds like a celebration. And slowly but surely, in the amphitheater, we see that crowd start to fade up into the scene.

And just beyond the crowd, we see two small groups of people on either sides of a rope pulling at each other. What? A tug of war, as they say. A town tradition! In the open-air amphitheater where it's being held,

the crowd of onlookers watch as these two groups yank each other back and forth towards the center before them. We pass down and behind the crown so that tug of war can only be heard. We see perhaps an old woman on one side with a dwarf,

a half-orc, and a young man. But now we're back over behind the crowd so the tug of war can only be heard And we swoop forward across the back of the heads of the crowd Watching until we stop at the back of a tall, white-haired creature With sharp, pointy ears A dwarf standing behind him yells

Hey, long-haired, I can't see! The long-haired man turns to reveal a handsome, bronze-skinned elf with sharp features, shock of indigo across his mostly white hair. He turns to the dwarf, My apologies. Here, take my spot. Well, now I feel bad for acting like an arse. I just, I think my boy is involved with this tug-of-war here for Ruby's Hope Knife ceremony,

and, uh, you know, he's in the town guard, you know. A Hope Knife dangles from the dwarf's neck, and he looks at the elf, who only has a pendant around his. You're, uh, you're not from around here, are you? No, no, I'm just passing through. Your festival is quite lively for a rather macabre celebration. The dwarf doesn't understand the fancy language of the elf, and the elf realizes it. The times are always skirting the edge of darkness, but the idea of giving a child a knife with which to defend herself or kill herself if need be is quite unsettling.

Dwarf says, ah, it's mainly for show nowadays. Sure, a tribe of orcs will come raiding from time to time, but they're always in small numbers. Those creatures are too disorganized to ever gather in great numbers, so our town guard and my boy take care of them no problem. This knife here, see, it's just a reminder of how things once were

and how things could be if the world ever turns dark again. Timeless, eh? So you'll remember. The elf repeats the phrase to himself. Timeless. So you'll remember. The elf repeats the phrase to himself. Timeless. So you'll remember.

The dwarf thinks nothing of the elf being weird and elfish. Ragnor's the name. I work with horses mainly in the stable, and that's my boy Rheorg up there. Look at him. Look at him in his uniform making his da proud. And who do I have the pleasure of talking to? All are welcome here in True Now. The elf looks away from the tug of war for the first time, really.

Looks down at the dwarf and extends his hand. Greetings, Ragnor. I am Thun. What? What the fuck? And we'll see you at episode 250. What the fuck? Oh my god.

Oh, this sneaky son of a bitch. Oh my god. We're going live. We're going live! The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015. Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo. All Pathfinder images are property of Paizo and are used with permission. you