The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 257 - Tunnel Vision

Episode Date: December 22, 2020

In the aftermath of the throne room battle, the heroes gather the spoils before seeking out the oracle of the mountain. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an o...fficial member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection, free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH-balancing minerals and crafted with skin-conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast.
Starting point is 00:00:34 Natural 20. Oh my God, Barron! You guys are so phenomenal. The heroes defeated the king. I said, where is your kingdom? The queen disbanded the giant alliance. I am sorry, my king. Perhaps we shall rule together again
Starting point is 00:00:55 in the afterlife, if it is the prince's will. And the path forward became clear. There is a tunnel behind that wall that leads to the mountain's crater, where the Storm Tyrant's flying castle is tethered. But while the Storm Tyrant awaits... And now he knows.
Starting point is 00:01:15 You are coming. You are close. And he will be prepared. There is unfinished business left in the mountain. There is another tunnel that leads up. Go there at your own risk if you wish to speak to the Oracle. The adventure continues now. Oh, the weather outside is frightful. The fire is so delightful.
Starting point is 00:02:10 And since we have no place to go, take it everybody. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. There it is. Hey, Scott. Hey. Merry Christmas, everybody. Merry Christmas, everybody. Oh, man. Oh, it's snowing in the studio.
Starting point is 00:02:31 Oh, my God. What was your look at that? It's a Christmas miracle. Merry Christmas, you wonderful building. Merry Christmas, movie house. I can't believe we spent all that end-of-the the year expendable income on fake snow in the studio what a waste one episode could have at least done it for a live stream or something but this just strikes me as a massive waste of time and money we didn't think it through skit we did not
Starting point is 00:02:56 that is our business model we have a lot to reckon for in this new year yes measure once cut twice That's our business model. I just was amazed we got so lax on our COVID protocols inviting that band in here to play that. Worth it. Worth it. There's a lot of people in here right now. You guys, take a break. Take five.
Starting point is 00:03:15 Give it up for J.T. Smith and the Glass Cannon Five. They're up in the... I would kill to have a band up there. Oh, can you imagine? you imagine that would be perfect don't get me excited grant because if i get that vision in my head we will have a live band here eventually don't even joke joe has learned over time not to question my dreams oh god uh i'm gonna email brentford marcellus right now run me to email, Bradford and Marsalis. How's it going, guys? Oh my god, how many Christmas week episodes have we dropped?
Starting point is 00:03:48 I think one year, correct me if I'm wrong, we dropped an episode on Christmas morning, right? Yeah. Just a few years ago. Yeah, we did. At seven years of business, we definitely have done it once, but yeah. Now we're a couple days before Christmas, and it's the holiday season. Maybe he'll celebrate Christmas.
Starting point is 00:04:04 That's fine. It's just a time to get fucking fired up. Go make a snow angel. Eat a little bit extra. Take your pants off and see what happens. Right, Matthew? I hear you're like, it's fine. It's fine. It's Dane dripping from the word.
Starting point is 00:04:21 Oh, man. We really do need some like a keg of eggnog. keg nog i was gonna say i'm surprised we don't have one the way you started crooning that song at the at the open i was like you sound like you've had half a barrel yeah it's all nogged up i want one of those uh those uh bullwinkle mousse glasses like uh chevy chase has yeah decidedly not COVID friendly. No. It's good. It's good.
Starting point is 00:04:46 It's good. It's good. Isn't there somebody here who's like vehemently against eggnog? That's me. That would be me. Eggnog is an extremely polarizing beverage, right? Like some people love it and some people find it revolting. Yeah. Some people love it and some people understand that it is in fact disgusting and know what you're drinking.
Starting point is 00:05:03 There are two types of people in the world. Those who neil diamond and those who hate him my ex-wife hated him isn't it also that skid you don't enjoy eggs in general well i don't it's yeah it's not the a i mean i this is not that they're related no it's the nog is the problem it's really the nog you're anti-nog well it's both i don't like egg or nog you don't like drinking raw eggs and cream no it's so well the problem is is like when i was five i think five years old i got into it and like i drank like an entire carton of it and i got super sick and i've never gotten over it it has affected my attitude towards it like i have associated the taste of eggnog with it mostly coming back up.
Starting point is 00:05:46 So your brain associates it as poison. Exactly. My brain is hardwired now to think of it as poison. It's like when you get that stomach virus after eating something delicious. Exactly. It has nothing to do with what you've just eaten. I can never eat chicken fried steak again because that exact thing happened. That's me and spaghetti squash.
Starting point is 00:06:01 Fun fact. I did not eat pancakes for 13 years. You made up for it. Then I had a lot of them once they weren't That's me and Spaghetti Squash. There you go. Fun fact. I did not eat pancakes for 13 years. Wow. You made up for it. Then I had a lot of them once they weren't poison anymore. This guy's eating pancakes right now. It's 9 o'clock at night.
Starting point is 00:06:18 It's my traditional Christmas recording. He's got a lump jack sack over there. He's just pouring maple syrup. He has a small sack. It doesn't come up your mouth like chocolate i am working on two decades of not eating oreo o's cereal alongside wild turkey that's who knew yeah well solid advice for anyone really wait but to bring it back to eggnog, I tell you, I don't have such a strong opinion, but I can count on one hand the number of times I've had it. Wait, really? One of them was at your Christmas party. Okay, that makes sense.
Starting point is 00:06:56 I walk in, well, I used to have the parties, people would walk in the door, nog, right in their face. Right in their face. That was the reason. One Christmas party, Skid, you came and you brought me like a pre-made bottle of nog that you bought from the store yeah because i knew you loved it so it's like here you go that was a real thoughtful gift yeah um i don't know why i can pudding shots yeah it's always the pudding shots right last year was the first year that we didn't have a christmas party because we were getting ready to move we had a crazy child and uh and now this year there's is a worldwide pandemic.
Starting point is 00:07:26 So this two years of the Christmas party, and it was a 10-year tradition. It was one year, it was like three people came, and then the other year, the police came. There were so many people. And I miss it. I miss- It was always so fun.
Starting point is 00:07:36 Like, you guys were so great at hosting. And I would always show up like 45 minutes before anyone else and just hang out on your couch. And you and Dave Woody would be the last two to leave. My experience with your Christmas parties, I'd never know who I'd end up talking to, but there were so many people in your apartment that whoever I ended up talking to,
Starting point is 00:07:53 I talked to for the rest of the party. Right. It was pretty much a proximity, make friends sort of situation because you'd just be jammed into a wall somewhere with somebody talking for an hour. Who are you? Grant and Angel would be there a few years in a row. You guys made some classic appearances.
Starting point is 00:08:09 And I have to say that I've been to enough parties scattered throughout the year at Troy's place, former place, that I am not sure who I have met before and who I have not. So I'm in the awkward situation of waiting for other people to talk to me. And I'm just in the corner looking at the ground nervously. That party became the type of party where it's like, I only see this person once a year. Yeah, I remember frequently having conversations that began, we met at Troy's Christmas party. You know what I mean? That's how it would kick off.
Starting point is 00:08:39 We met one year ago. Why tonight's the anniversary? Why tonight's the anniversary? Legend has it, Bear Lives comes here every year on this night. Croons are the last person to leave. I miss that party, and I can't wait to have it again. Hopefully next year we can do it
Starting point is 00:08:54 in my now my family home. I miss your apartment. I miss coming over and watching football. Oh, God, I miss all of it. Joe's the only one that's been to my home that I've purchased, and that was once before we went to the Boston show. Before PAX East.
Starting point is 00:09:10 Yeah, that's it. None of you guys have even seen my house. I wasn't there for 12 hours. Well, it's a weird time, Matthew. I don't invite dirty people to my house. You know what, though? I bought a fire pit, and it's coming soon. And I got a smoker for my birthday.
Starting point is 00:09:28 So we could do like an outdoor thing. I got a big enough yard. Maybe we do like a little glass cannon. It's cold out still, but we can make it work. Follow-up question. Yes. What's the status of the neighborhood murderer? I'm doing just fine.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Have you caught me yet fine i have home security i can look at my my driveway as we speak uh no everything's fine it's it's really me matthew like i i i have crazy thoughts i assume that every noise is someone trying to barge into my home with a knife or gun in hand if i've learned anything in the past how many years have we all been working together? This is our fifth Christmas together. It's that your anxieties seem to infect my dreams. Well, I was thinking about this when I was at Starbucks earlier today, and there was way too many people in there. And I was like, whenever I feel crazy,
Starting point is 00:10:20 I just remember how crazy Matthew is. And I realize I'm not the only one. Because Matthew is a little sneaky, as crazy, if not how crazy matthew is and i realize i'm not the only one uh because matthew is a little sneaky uh as crazy if not more crazy than me when it comes to like uh anxiety and ocd yeah yeah we we said like when we first started recording in the studio like every time i got near you you did one of these like oh it was jumped out of the way and i waited till you were like still within earshot but out of earshot enough so it would make it seem like i wasn't talking about you but like is is uh matthew uh jumping away from everyone when you get within 10 feet or is that just me does he think i'm dirty as i recall and this might speak to my anxiety i think you said matthew do you do that to everyone
Starting point is 00:10:58 you might be misremembering you did You jumped away from me at one point. I'm trying to maintain six feet between us all. No, no, I know. You lose track. It's a very awkward way to start a conversation. You're like, hello, Matthew, how are you? And the first thing you do is jump back four feet. You physically move like, huh!
Starting point is 00:11:15 Like quickly. Like someone threw a hockey puck at your head. It's not like, oh, pardon me, sir. It's like, huh! Yeah, yeah. What I would do is just sort of like ease back six feet like it's at a slow enough pace that they might not notice i had backed up you're just like you should see me walking down the streets of new york yeah that's it's no fun man just like crossing into
Starting point is 00:11:36 traffic rather than walking on the sidewalk next to someone it's quite literally almost died tonight dodging someone on the yeah because there was a bevy of people not wearing any mask coming down the sidewalk and i was like i don't have anywhere else to go so i walked out into the street and then a truck you know what you might have been safer in front of the truck uh story is crazy man i thought we'd come back here and it's like everybody were in mass everybody like with a fucking brain in their head 50 masks outside and there's people all over the place wear your fucking mask come on don't make it a big deal it's not about you wear it right put it over your nose fucking nose man come on man we're a nation we're glass cannon nation and in glass cannon nation we wear masks unless
Starting point is 00:12:15 you're at home with your loved ones my favorite pastime now is judging people and my favorite way to do it is not walking down the street as matth judging those people as he does. He's enjoying it secretly. I'm just terrified. No, no, no. I'm not trying to even. But thanks for judging me for my terror. That's fine. I enjoy it and I enjoy riding my bicycle as fast as I can,
Starting point is 00:12:37 getting up a huge sweat with a mask on and then giving people the evil eye that are just like walking slowly with no mask. It's like I can wear one. Why the hell are you not wearing one? This is a huge benefit to suburbs, though. We don't have to wear masks in our neighborhood because there's nobody else around.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Yeah, hold on a minute. You actually, oh, I guess you're biking in the middle of the city. Did I ever tell you guys that? I don't think you actually have to wear a mask when you're just biking. Yes, you do. Have I ever told you the story
Starting point is 00:13:00 about when I got the grand idea that I was going to walk to Manhattan because I was feeling really anxious in my apartment and I grand idea that I was going to walk to Manhattan because I was feeling anxious in my apartment. And I was like, I'm going to walk to Manhattan. I'm going to walk across the Queensborough Bridge. There's a pedestrian lane. No, there's not. No, that's not.
Starting point is 00:13:13 That's the narrowest fucking pedestrian lane in the city. It's so narrow. And it's also a combo bike and pedestrian lane. Right. That's the thing. It's terrifying. I used to walk on that thing and I was just like, forget it. I take the tram from
Starting point is 00:13:26 Roosevelt Island. There's a 70% chance that right now Nick Lowe is listening to this episode and he's there on that bridge riding his bike. I'll never do it again. I was in the correct lane but because of COVID,
Starting point is 00:13:42 people were like the bicyclists were weaving in and out of their lane. were weaving out it was the wildest and i just spent the entire like almost a mile of the east river just terrified because bikes were coming from every direction people were i was just like so you're saying it didn't help your anxiety it was uh and then i got all the way and i got all the way to manhattan and i was like well i just gotta go back now. Are you going to take a cab or a subway back? It was really a terrible idea.
Starting point is 00:14:12 Well, happy holidays to everybody. I hope you're enjoying it. As I said last week or the week before, I don't know. It's all melted together now. This is a different holiday season, but it's still the best. You should be thankful for what you do have and not what you don't have. Joe. This is a different holiday season, but it's still the best. And you should be thankful for what you do have and not what you don't have. Joe.
Starting point is 00:14:31 Sorry, I wasn't listening. I know. I saw your checkout. That's why I called you out. I do have anxiety. You do have anxiety. You've got anxiety in your stocking this year. I'm pretty happy with what happened last week,
Starting point is 00:14:48 even though I technically lost. And when I say last week, I really mean the last three episodes. Because that was a three-episode combat. And I, you know... It's not a contest, Troy. It's not a contest, and it's not like I wanted to win.
Starting point is 00:15:03 Like I said to you before, I think we even started. I just want a good fight. I want a good fight. I want a good episode. I want there to be tension. I think there was. I think there was significant tension. I knew going in that Hungry Pit was going to happen. I thought about this. I thought about
Starting point is 00:15:19 throwing an anti-magic field, like pulling stuff out of my ass to make sure you couldn't cast it. I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to do it. Once Vicky Moore told me about Brace, I'm like, that's fine. If he does it, and I failed a reflex save, I passed the first reflex save, by the way, and then failed it because of your sick thing
Starting point is 00:15:36 that you, metamagic thing that made me persistent spell. And so, kudos to you. I deserve to fall into that pit. The Gunslinger played it, played a little, held a little grit back. Maybe should have gritted a little bit more.
Starting point is 00:15:50 I had two more points of grit, plus maybe a third extra point of grit somewhere that I won't talk about. So I could have used a little bit more grit, but really, at the end of the day... You had five grit as a 14th level character? I had four grit. He had the extra grit feat,
Starting point is 00:16:04 and then something with the gun gives him one bonus point of grit that just is allowed to like... It seems like I thought you would have like a dozen grit. No. If I did, I would have been using it left and right. No, you don't get a lot of grit. Baron, what is your total grit? I have taken extra grit as a feat and I am at seven total.
Starting point is 00:16:20 Right. And you're... But he's a seventh level gunslinger. Right. This character was a fourth level gunslinger. Right. character was a fourth level gunslinger right yeah i was saying like it's not all like when you take the gun i thought it was a full gunslinger build no well but it's but because of the fire template in order to give it like keep the cr the same if i gave him seven levels of gunslinger it'd be like a cr 21 creature right i guess uh so to keep it cr 14 or 15 when it ever ended up being i uh just a dip just a little large yeah we don't know how long this has been happening either like how long the giants have been at ash peak taking yeah but he would just have started learning right it's not like they
Starting point is 00:16:55 found the way the titarian told it to is like they came here they found all your monuments all your temples they raised them they took it down they found your treasure and they gave the plans to the storm tyrant they took yours and made they found your treasure, and they gave the plans to the Storm Tyrant. They took yours and made their own. This guy's probably been only learning it since you walked into True Now. You've just been using it a lot more than him. He's been the Royal Guard sitting there practicing, practicing like Jeremy used to practice.
Starting point is 00:17:18 Yeah, and it makes sense that he wouldn't be used to touch AC versus regular AC. He should have really rushed in and like tried to aim down on one of us maybe again i i applaud you guys i think you're you're your strategy was fantastic and i'm the first to like make fun of you guys for not uh thinking strategically i thought i thought you played it wonderfully and and i like the kind of give and go that dimension door when they all rushed in or dimension step to get to the other side of the room normally in the past i would just run right back at you and then you dimension stuff again i'm like ah damn it and you just you pick them off one by one i think it was a great fight it was pretty like it was it was there was a lot of tension there was a lot of risk involved there was a lot
Starting point is 00:17:57 of action and i think it was it was really epic too i think i was thinking about it today i was like i can't wait to see the fan there's going to be fan art of that moment of metra like hovering over this over this field it's like where is your king now with the black tendrils like coming out like that's fuck that's badass and i know i know we're gonna see some cool yeah that yeah i was thinking about it like it took three episodes for us but can you imagine in real time where these giants, like we, like the giants just charge us. We just disappear, go the other way. And then every six seconds we like,
Starting point is 00:18:31 you know, Dogworth disappears. Yeah. Nestor disappears. Yeah. And then they just start dropping one by one. They don't even see what's hitting them. It's just like dropping,
Starting point is 00:18:40 dropping, dropping. And you know, we talked about this a lot after we finished recording. None of this made air. I wish it did. But we can talk about it now a little bit. It's like when they did hit you, which wasn't often, honestly, they mashed you.
Starting point is 00:18:54 Crushed. Mashed. And you said this before we even started the fight, Joe, how you just, you know, our buddies at the Order of the Amber Dive was like, you cannot stay close. You cannot finish your turn next to a giant so it can take a full attack action. Now, you did, Dalgrith, when you were on its back and invisible, so you had a little bit of a fighting chance.
Starting point is 00:19:12 Miss, miss, miss. Even when it hit, or a 99 on the concealment, I rolled like a nat one or something. Like, you know, when it did hit Baron, Baron was at less than half hit points. When it did hit Dalgrith, Dalgrith was at less than half hit points. and by metra putting those mirror images on herself what it did was
Starting point is 00:19:30 take metra out of the equation right so it saved metra but it focused fire on dalgryth how many rounds in a row do they just go after dalgryth even the thing is like to me once you get dalgryth invisible and once he's on a creature he is a rogue and a tank all at the same time yeah takes attention which is really cool yeah you have to address them yeah you can't just like ignore it you can't ignore this certainly can't stabbing at you on your back right and that's the thing like i've ignored it in the past right that's the thing is like you can start to like you know uh who knows you might have there might be creatures that aren't giants you know like coming up that are uh immune to precision damage and stuff like that which could ignore
Starting point is 00:20:09 a dogwrath on their back uh a construct that just keeps walking at the party and dogwrath can i can do nothing i guarantee you there's some weird wacky constructs in the midst of this next oh yeah i guarantee you there is non-giant stuff coming up but you know yeah maybe it's just dragons there's like dwarven technology. There's, like, there's got to be, like, crazy gold. Yeah, they're digging. They're going in specifically to dwarven ruins to, like, get this stuff. I mean, there's, yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:34 I have a question that might throw a wrench into future battles for us. Might make me think it's a bit more difficult. I don't think it happened more than once. I don't think it was significant in the fight. But, Matthew, can Metra see invisibility? No. Because I believe you cast spells directly targeted on either Dalgrith or Nestor after you made them invisible. What spells would those be, Grant?
Starting point is 00:20:57 I can't remember, but I remember that. Listen, if you're going to come for me, you better have your evidence. You definitely— You best not miss, Grant! Well, there's like haste and stuff, but there's like air effects. No, that was all before I— I will list the spells I cast over the course of that battle. You definitely... You best not miss, Grant! Well, there's like haste and stuff, but there's like air effects. No, that was all before... I will list the spells I cast over the course of that battle.
Starting point is 00:21:08 Please. Protection from evil before we went in. Darkness. Not relevant here. Complete waste. Dark... Dark...
Starting point is 00:21:20 It was also... It was a waste of the use of the metamagic rod, but it wasn't a waste of a standard action. So that's good. Sure. Right. Dark vision retcon before the battle.
Starting point is 00:21:32 Invisibility, which was cast on. Before the battle. Before the battle. On me. Mirror image before the battle. Scrolling down. Fly on me. Haste.
Starting point is 00:21:42 Area effect. Everyone. Yeah, man. Before we were invisible. Dimension door, which I did once. Before we were invisible. Dimension door, which I did once. That's what I mean. You reached out and touched invisible people. We were not invisible.
Starting point is 00:21:54 The second time you did it, I believe, Nestor was invisible. Nestor was improved invisibility next to the king's throne. Ah, okay. There you go. There's one. I didn't go in that dimension door. He also hadn't moved. And I didn't take Dalgrief with me.
Starting point is 00:22:07 Sure. I'm just saying it's trickier than... And Nestor talked the entire battle. It's worth considering... And Nestor never stopped talking shit. It's worth considering as we go into book six. I don't think it was... It might have been game-breaking,
Starting point is 00:22:21 but I think there's an argument to be made that Nestor would be like, I'm right here, love. And yeah, I could have touched him love, and yeah, clear touch. It's like a mutual thing. You're not targeting someone with Dimension Door. It's just like, grab my hand. And I did say before we went in, I was like, if things get dicey, make sure you stay close to me.
Starting point is 00:22:36 So I can imagine even if we didn't have, like, that's a free action, so we could have done that. Or Mettrick could have just been like, okay, there he is, and then we go. I appreciate it, though, nonetheless. Well, no, it's because I specifically cast See Invisibility, which helped me reach out to Dalgrith when he was hurt after he wasn't.
Starting point is 00:22:50 That's right. And I don't think I should have been able to reach out to him if he had moved away from him to heal him at that point. What do you do with that? Do you get a 50% mischance or something? Or you can't target a spell with somebody you can't see, right? So with something like Cure Light Wounds. Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:23:05 But I mean, I was visible when you cast that on me. You were? Oh, okay. Baron couldn't tell, because for him you were always visible. Yeah, everyone's... Right, right, right. You were? You looked the same to me?
Starting point is 00:23:15 I only owned a few cassettes in my youth, but one of them was Genesis Invisible Touch. Oh, yes. Real fucking banger. That was one of my first albums was Phil Collins' No Jacket Required. A birthday gift from my best friend Dante Dunlap. I'm going to say that must have came from a best friend. It was.
Starting point is 00:23:34 That's a phenomenal gift. Yep. Some episodes ago, it was either our first or second day back in the studio, we were talking about how Phil Collins' ex-wife has occupied one of his houses. They're having some struggles. They're having some tough times.
Starting point is 00:23:48 His first bad decision was getting back with her, I think. Anyways, Invisible Touch, great. Also had the Cocktail soundtrack on cassette. Another classic. What was on the Cocktail soundtrack? It really was a wide range of songs, ranging from Kokomo by the Beach Boys to Don't Worry, Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin. It's a must-own for any true
Starting point is 00:24:10 collector out there. When I went to bartending school, they had cocktail posters of that movie up everywhere. You went to bartending school? I did. And I majored in cream-based drinks. And that movie was shot in Long Island City, the bar that he worked at the
Starting point is 00:24:26 first one it was in long island city it's still there don't they say champagne dreams wasn't there at their uh the bar they were gonna make camera anyways good movie i had the soundtrack maybe a decade before i ever watched the movie just some good tunes hippie hippie shake hippie hippies yes i'm telling you man don't sleep on the cocktail soundtrack. All shook up. It's got Tom Cruise just leaning on a bar on the cover. Who's the guy, the Australian guy that plays his friend in that? He's like the low-rent Paul Hogan. Yeah. He was in another movie called FX, which he plays a movie special effects.
Starting point is 00:25:03 Brian Brown? Brian Brown. Yeah, yeah. He plays a movie special effects specialist that gets accused of Brown. Yeah, yeah. He plays a movie special effects specialist that gets accused of murder. And it is a phenomenal movie. It came out in like 87 or something. He plays a dark character in Cocktail.
Starting point is 00:25:14 Everybody go out and watch Cocktail. I hope you get Cocktail in your stocking this year on Blu-ray. Back in my day, you listened to a cassette tape and you liked it. If you want to listen to it, don't worry. Be happy. And Kokomo, you had to wait a couple minutes while you fast-forwarded.
Starting point is 00:25:28 We finished this battle with Tytarian giving a hell of a death speech to Baron, who delivered... Didn't you deliver Killing Blow? I did. And he tells you that all the children... He was right to leave the children
Starting point is 00:25:44 behind. And you had heard a little bit about this from Quivixia, that the son had died, and he made all of his generals leave the children behind and said to you, you may win, you may take their riches and live a wonderful life afterwards, but the children will remember. Just when you think you're comfortable, they will come and they will get you. And that was his dying words. Win or lose. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:26:10 I would be, uh, that's something to think about. It is, but it's also such horseshit. He said something like when you're enjoying your, your easy rest in the castles you built with our treasure, he came here and stole my goddamn treasure.
Starting point is 00:26:24 So don't, don't, get off your high horse. Well, sorry, you can't sit on your throne anymore because you don't have a head. It's true. He, uh, he is dead. The rest of the giants in the room start stepping towards you, brandishing weapons,
Starting point is 00:26:39 the fire giants especially, even though Tartarian told them, stand back. They're ready to seek revenge on you. But Quivixia, the queen... True to her word. True to her word. Keeps up her end of the bargain. She tells them to halt.
Starting point is 00:26:58 Says, this is over. There's no use in spilling more blood here, wasting more lives. It's over. We will leave. You nobles, go back to your home clans. I will go take Clan Brandric. Just give me the king's crown
Starting point is 00:27:15 and the rest is yours. There's a tunnel behind that wall. One part of it leads down to a crater where the storm tyrant's castle is tethered. Another one leads up to the oracle
Starting point is 00:27:32 of the mountain. She takes a ring off his finger, takes one off of hers, throws it at you. Prisoner's rings. Have we encountered that before? Or am I thinking back to another adventure? Yes, but i don't know if it was this adventure right yeah wait no i think it was prisoner ring somebody had prisoners oh was it
Starting point is 00:27:50 jade region wasn't it no was it uh uh what's uh the alchemist early on screed yeah didn't he his girlfriend didn't they you know what i think you're right, Skid. Yeah. Wow. Yes. Yes. Screed had a prisoner's ring, and when he died, Malira knew. Right. Right. That's what it is. Right?
Starting point is 00:28:12 Oh, cool. I think I could be wrong, but I think you're right, Skid. It was something like that, though, right? I thought it was something like that. It sounds familiar. I just didn't know what it did. It's magically attuned to a jailer's ring. Right. And when a jailer's ring places a prisoner's ring on a subject,
Starting point is 00:28:26 the prisoner cannot remove the ring without the use of remove curse. Oh, I guess she doesn't take hers off. Whatever. It's better. She rips her finger off. We found one in Skirgard, too, I believe, but I don't remember from whom. I think it's much cooler. I'm sure people are like,
Starting point is 00:28:43 No, you can't take off that ring. It is a very weird thing. It's much more cool the way we did it. She's holding the crown. The giants are all looking at you. Sense motive on the crown. Is that a magical crown? It's a function as a headband of intelligence. Are you detecting magic?
Starting point is 00:29:01 Are you sensing motive on the crown? The crown's like, you'll never get me, Kappa. No, sensing motive on her. A little mouse on the, you'll never get me, copper. No, sensing motive on her. A little mouth on the crown. It's like L.A. Noire. Where were you the night of the third? Nah, I'm kidding. Where were you?
Starting point is 00:29:13 Sensing motive on her. Just let me take this crown. Her tone isn't like that. She says, I, you know, you get the sense it's like, I'm going to be the, both the king and the queen now. Look at me. Look at'm going to be both the king and the queen now. Look at me. Look at me. I'm both the king and the queen now. King and the queen.
Starting point is 00:29:33 She looks to you for an answer. There are a dozen or so enemies in here looking at what you'll say as well. enemies in here looking at what you'll say as well uh so um sorry and i'm probably visible by now yeah you both you both come out of invisibility yeah hello uh i just felt the darkness hello all uh allow me to introduce myself i'm mr coin corn by name corn by nature as me old dad used to say probably familiar with my visage, as you've been using it without my permission, it seems, for quite some time. And...
Starting point is 00:30:12 You just licensed that. Yes. There is a matter of licensing fees. And I'm joking, of course, but we are... I think I can speak for my comrades. I think we are quite willing to spare your lives and let you go. However, there is the uncomfortable matter of recompensation to raise. Are you all familiar, and I know you are, with the concept of Wehr Guild?
Starting point is 00:30:41 No. Rubab, rubab, rubab, rubab. What's that? no well you see it is compensation for lives lost for pain delivered and you have delivered much pain and loss of life to the little folk and we are here as a representatives and so you
Starting point is 00:30:55 are free to go however we would ask that you would leave us with your most valued possessions on the way out do not think, if we were to raise our armies up again, that so many more would die? Isn't that enough to end this
Starting point is 00:31:17 now on our part? The saving of future lives, is that not weregu Gild, enough? No, again, I think you're a little bit confused about the concept. You see, this is compensation for lives already lost, and so we require monetary compensation for the pain and suffering that you've inflicted. Now, it can be something we can look over.
Starting point is 00:31:43 If you gather together your magic items, your cash, we can take a look at it and we can make a determination based on our respective loss. And then again, you can walk free. You can walk out of here free giants. My dear friend, she's kind of like looking at you like, I'm taking care of this. What are you doing? I will not ask these nobles to do such a thing. It is enough that I am asking them to abandon the time that they have who guarded my husband's life, who gave their lives for him,
Starting point is 00:32:34 and even my husband, all of that is yours. The throne is inlaid with gold and gems, probably more than you've seen in a long time. They are yours as well if you choose to pick them from the throne. In the fire pedestal back there is a weapon, the likes of which none of you have seen. That is yours as well.
Starting point is 00:33:10 I think that is more than fair mr coin well hard to ask um penny asked is a penny earned as my old dad used to say we will take it under advisement and perhaps take this up at a later date. And he's like looking at each one of them and study target, like memorizing each one of their descriptions as he goes down the line. Two fire giants, two frost giants, a hill giant, the temple priest, these acers. Scar across the left eye, like everyone. You'll be hearing from our representative. Yes, you will be hearing from our representative. They're all seething.
Starting point is 00:33:45 They just want to jump at you. And I mean, I would think, even though you guys are feeling cocky from the end of this battle, you are outmatched. Oh, yeah. No, we know that. I'm betting on the fact that they would be a little bit cowed by the fact that we just did what we did. Absolutely. Absolutely. You just killed the
Starting point is 00:34:05 king in less than a minute in front of their eyes yeah well that we embarrassed him he uh fell down a pit yeah we did it in very dramatic fashion yeah i'd wonder who the first one to jump into the fray would be even though negotiations have been difficult let it be known to all of you and to wherever you return that the small folk honor their agreements and are willing to enter a new age of peace with those who ignore the orders of the storm tyrant. We do not want senseless bloodshed. And I, for one, if I ever have children, will not send them against you unless there is a reason to do so. But if you come back, we'll strike you down again. And someone as nasty or nastier than this son of a bitch over here
Starting point is 00:34:54 points at Nestor. He's going to want even more next time. Might be him, even. And Nestor gives a big toothless smile. He just looks at you and kind of gives a sideways nod. The kind of nod that says, well, let's see what happens. If the storm tyrant lives, then this conversation is for naught. If you take them out, then maybe they'll keep to themselves.
Starting point is 00:35:22 And there should be something to be said about two dwarves, one of whom's last name is Deathbringer. The other has brought a lot of death upon giants, not wanting to murder them all. That is a display of largesse, like just generosity on some level that they have not shown, and it should at least confuse them on some level, when they're not angry. Like, when they leave and they're thinking about, like,
Starting point is 00:35:48 I would have murdered, like, they would not have done this, I don't think, based off of how they've acted so far. Yeah, I can't imagine if you hadn't have struck the deal with the Queen, which is completely possible in the terms of this adventure. I don't know how that could possibly play out. You could not even go into the room with the Queen, and then walk into all these rooms. You could four times crit her when she has 15 hit points. You could do that as well, as you did.
Starting point is 00:36:11 But yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I'm saying you could kill her before she can halt. Make a deal, yeah. I can't imagine if you were just having this conversation, they would just charge you fear in their eyes at seeing what you just did, but hoping that they could overwhelm you and
Starting point is 00:36:25 they probably would win yeah but they wouldn't do it being like we got them right where they want them no you just killed the king but there seems to be some sort of mutual understanding here and so she takes the crown she grabs her daughter's hand this horrific looking creature with wings. She like cracks her back and the wings spread out and then settle again. And they all just walk towards the back of the room. The nobles leave first. Hyrokin leaves.
Starting point is 00:37:01 The temple priests leave. And the queen looks to you. One last time, looks at her husband and walks out now getting on to the business of Jimmer and Thune where are they?
Starting point is 00:37:21 upstairs they said is that right? um yeah I wasn't really listening to that part. I'll be right back. And he goes over and starts searching the bodies. Yeah, all right. Tell us what we got, Troy. All right, let's talk about the lieutenants.
Starting point is 00:37:40 You've fought a couple of these guys before. These guys are obviously a little more bad-ish. What is the highest spellcraft in the group? I believe it's Nestor's. It's going to be Metro. She doesn't have it. I have it, but it's not terribly high. I don't have it.
Starting point is 00:37:57 Yeah, we don't. That's not really high. Plus five. Plus eight. Plus eight. Okay. Well, I can give you nitty gritties here. So they both have plus one great swords, and they both have plus two half plate.
Starting point is 00:38:10 They both have two potions of cure serious wounds. So we'll each take one of those. Yep. And they each have one ring of cold resistance minor. Okay. They have no money on their person. They do have an ever-burning church. Church.
Starting point is 00:38:29 They also have an ever-burning church. They got an ever-burning church. It looks like it works. Each? Or an ever-burning torch each? Yes, ever-burning torch each. That's hard to say. It really is. That's why I said church. The fire giant captain
Starting point is 00:38:44 also has a plus one long sword on his person captain hagen uh he is wearing uh a plus one mithril buckler oh that's nice um his armor and his gun are going to need uh checks though plus Plus two Mithril Buckler, did you say? Mm-hmm. Oh, man. His armor and his gun are going to need... No, excuse me, plus one Mithril Buckler. Nice try, Matthew.
Starting point is 00:39:14 And he has a longsword or a greatsword? Longsword. Yeah, they all have plus one longsword, so you've got three of those. These are all large items, obviously. It was his gun and what else? His gun and his armor need a check, but I'll go through the rest of his gear because it all with an eight. I'm natural 20 natural.
Starting point is 00:39:33 Oh, excellent. All right, Baron roll. Uh, do you have roll a craft guns? Check. Okay. Um, that's a 10 on the die and there's no real score associated with that so it's like i'll add my craft alchemy since i use that with her bold thought so that's a total of 16 okay that's fine um let me talk about the other items they have with an eight i'm not just i'm not gonna
Starting point is 00:39:58 have you roll 900 small craft checks and have that be the podcast so i'm just tell you he's wearing an amulet of natural armor plus one excellence belt of incredible decks plus four cloak of resistance plus two two potions of cure serious another ring of cold resistance minor a ring of protection plus one and a wand of silence with six charges wow wow okay ring of protection plus one and a Wand of Silence with six charges. Wow. Wow. Okay. Bring up protection plus one, Wand of Silence. Six charges.
Starting point is 00:40:31 Six charges. I'm typing this. I told you about the plus one Mythrobuckler. His armor is plus two Fireforged Steel Agile Breastplate. Wow. That's pretty cool. That's cool. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:45 You know, the cool thing about fire-forged steel, it's even more badass when you're wielding a fire-forged weapon, not unlike the gun, which is a plus-two distance Lucky fire-forged steel pistol.
Starting point is 00:41:01 What? So the distance doubles the thread range. Whoa. And lucky basically gives it one free clear. It gives you an extra grit point that you can use once per day. It's refreshed at the start of each day. Whether or not the wielder of a lucky firearm has any deeds,
Starting point is 00:41:21 she can always spend one grit point from the lucky firearm to re-roll an attack that would have resulted in a misfire. When the wielder does so, she must take the second result, even if that attack also results in a misfire. That's what makes it more interesting than just a grit reservoir, like an extra point. Right, you can't use that to use dead eye or something like that.
Starting point is 00:41:40 It can only be used once per day to get a free re-roll on a misfire. They say that gun has true grit. You said it was a single-barreled pistol? Yeah, plus-two distance Lucky Fireforged steel pistol. When combined with the armor, if you're wearing both Fireforged armor and wielding a Fireforged weapon, if you are able to bathe it in fire like he did before the battle,
Starting point is 00:42:04 in this case it does 1d6 fire damage for four rounds. Now, if you just had the pistol, it would do 1d4 fire damage for two rounds, I think. And if you're just wearing the armor, you get fire resistance. You still get those things, but if you have both, they combine to allow 1d6. I don't know if David was listening really closely or if you were but so many of the things he has on it wasn't true sheet were exactly what i had and i brought up in the last episode it was actually lawbringer those fireforged steel della is not but like those are all my short sword is fireforged steel yeah the fireforged steel was all me i just
Starting point is 00:42:38 thought it was more appropriate for ashpeak you know you guys didn't go into that room with the slack giants and the salamanders, you know, all that shit was going on in there. And I just figured they would find these guns and they would bring them in there and melt them down and make them fire-forged. So cool. And he also has 20 alchemical cartridges.
Starting point is 00:42:57 Oh, sweet. 22. Someone let Barron's bullets know. I know, I was just going to say, at Barron's Bullets, keep it track. Those are giant cartridges, though, aren't they? They are, yes. He has a gunsmith kit, too, but you have that. Breaks my back. Well, that's the other thing. It is a large gun. Right.
Starting point is 00:43:14 So, keep that in mind. Forge bound. You can either bring it to the forge and knock it down, or if you ever come across an iron or steel hand again... I think I lost one thing on the list, but I'll check with you after. Okay. Do you did you grind this to a halt and talk about it now because you just basically did and on christmas worst christmas ever i had ants that would say shit like that Grand on crit. Yeah, so that's what you find on the bodies. She told you when Nestor was like,
Starting point is 00:43:51 you guys better drop all your shit and we'll call it even. She told you there's gold and gems inlaid in the thrones and then there's a weapon, the likes of which you've never seen, still sitting in that pedestal where the gun was. We spend hours with our daggers prying out the gold. You find 5,000 gold pieces
Starting point is 00:44:14 worth of gold and gems prying all that stuff which you can sell for 100% of their price. The weapon is a large hammer emanating lots of magic. Oh, wow. Natural 20 again.
Starting point is 00:44:36 Yeah. Out of here. Awesome. I was like, let me use a different die. Natural 20. So what's the total? 28. So is it caster level plus 10?
Starting point is 00:44:48 Does it work like the CR? Or you can't remember? I think that's what it is. Yeah. Because that's actually not enough. It's a CR 20 hammer. Oh, wow. I thought pre-break, maybe we purchased some identify scrolls for this reason.
Starting point is 00:45:01 Because I feel like we've been here before. Did we not? I don't think we ever did. But could always do it later I'm looking at spellcraft here so to identify the properties of a magic item using detect magic 15 plus the items caster level so you're not gonna tell us what the hammer does that we just found after the boss fight of the final boss of the book on crisp.
Starting point is 00:45:27 On a natural What is the matter with you? On a natural 20 on crisp. On a natural That's a problem with skill checks, man. Then you want to fall
Starting point is 00:45:35 when you roll a natural one on a climb but you got a plus, dad? That's usually what you do to us, isn't it? No, no, I don't. All right, cool. So we'll just leave it here.
Starting point is 00:45:43 Can you take 20 on spellcraft? No. No. I rolled a. Alright, cool. So we'll just leave it here. Can you take 20 on spellcraft? No. I rolled a natural 20! If you fail, I believe you can't try again for 24 hours, which is why you can't take 20. But it can't succeed. Right, so it can never succeed, so we need an identify spell.
Starting point is 00:45:57 Or maybe someone with more magical powers. Maybe Farron has the ability. Maybe someone in Skelt. But just, Iton. If anything, you should be excited. You're like, I should know this, and I don't.
Starting point is 00:46:14 This is a weapon of massive magical power. When people tell you you should be excited about something, do you generally get excited? No, because I like to be contrarian. But a lot of sheep out there matthew they get fired up okay on christmas all right what's on the king what's on the king what's on the king oh i didn't i forgot all about him old king titarian how could
Starting point is 00:46:39 i bury the lead here all right i'm gonna'm going to make you roll a check for his weapon. I don't get it. Okay. Anyone else can roll if you have Spellcraft. Sure. 15. 15. I wish Pembroke was here.
Starting point is 00:47:01 Me too. All right. Let me tell you what magical items he has, because between that 15 and your plus 8, this is enough to know this. Brooch of Shielding with 101 uses.
Starting point is 00:47:16 Anybody's rolling out some magic missiles? It's good to have on if you don't have anything in your brooch slot. We also got that from Abria. That was the brooch, right? Wasn't that the same type? What's going on in your brooch slot. We also got that from Abria. That was the brooch, right? Wasn't that the same type? What's going on in your brooch slot, bro? 101 uses. It can just eat magic missiles for free.
Starting point is 00:47:36 Crown's gone. That sweet magical crown's gone. Ion stone, dusty rose prism. Oh. Yeah. Dusty Rhodes roads the american dream yes a dusty rose the island stone the american dream it's a sapphire oh man there's like 17 people that really enjoyed that back and forth three potions of cure serious wounds a ring of cold resistance minor cloak of resistance plus three
Starting point is 00:48:08 that's a good one the iron stone gives assuming it's intact gives a plus one insight bonus to AC oh cool it's intact baby that's a wondrous item too
Starting point is 00:48:23 okay wonders You know, and it's intact, baby. That's a wondrous item, too. Okay, you have wonders. It is wondrous. Oh, is the iron stone? Yeah. We could roll on that right now. Dusty Rose. I'll roll on the stone.
Starting point is 00:48:36 I will as well. I'm romancing the stone. I'm not going to sit out this one. Oh, 19 for next turn. 17. I need a nat 20 or a 19. Natural one. Oh. 19. next. 17. I need Nat 20 or 19. Natural one. 19.
Starting point is 00:48:50 It's a roll-off. It's a roll-off. It's a roll-off. Natural one. 10. Yes! Insight! It's a Christmas miracle. Feel the insight.
Starting point is 00:48:59 It truly is. I feel like if it got down to arguing about who needed it the most, I think Dalgrith would have won. Oh, yeah. On merit. Dalgrith should totally have it. And what about the other one? Armor?
Starting point is 00:49:15 The Cloak of John. Cloak of John plus John? Yeah. All right, who wants that? I'll roll on. The plus John Cloak of John. Don't forget the other dude had a Cloak of John plus two. Again, I think Dalgrith needs it the most because his saves are terrible.
Starting point is 00:49:28 Yeah, gets you. My reflex is good. I don't think I'm wearing a shoulder slot. What's going on with your brooch slot, bro? What's your brooch slot up to lately? Better check your brooch slot. If that's not a shirt, I don't know what it is. Alright, let's roll off
Starting point is 00:49:48 on the plus three first, obviously. You want that one. It's a roll off. It's a roll off. Plus three! Didn't get that one. Eleven. Four. Okay. You want the plus four, right?
Starting point is 00:50:03 No. Do you want the plus two then? Do you get it as a consolation prize? I'll take that if nobody else is rolling on it My shoulder slots are occupied, thank you Armor, plus one adamantine full plate Large sized Oh, you know what, Joe? What?
Starting point is 00:50:19 Oh, you have I think I want to hang on to my cloak of etherealness Oh, yeah Cloak of resistance, plus three! Ooh, back have cloak already? I think I want to hang on to my cloak of etherealness. Oh, yeah. Cloak of resistance, plus three! Ooh, backdoor cloak over there. See him? Plus one adamantine, full plate, large size, and his weapon is a plus one human bane adamantine halberd.
Starting point is 00:50:39 Say that one more time. Plus one human bane adamantine halberd. That's awesome. Never got to do a full attack, but let me throw a power attack on it. Let me tell you what it was going to be. Plus 25, plus 20, plus 15, plus 10 for 2d8 plus 37 damage plus 2d6 versus human times three crit. 2d8. 2d8 plus 37.
Starting point is 00:51:03 So it's 6d8 plus 112? 120. 180? I can't do the math that fast. 111. So 6d8 plus 111 plus 2d6. And if you pulled like Baron did of times three, it would be times four. Actually, it's human bane, so it would only hurt Nestor
Starting point is 00:51:25 to that degree. It would only be that extra 2d6 to Nestor. That's why he said, I will eviscerate the human. Because humans killed his son. Fortunately, we were immunocrites. I said it to you guys off air as well, but he was a fighter with the stalwart defender archetype.
Starting point is 00:51:42 Oh, yeah. You're looking for a cool fighter archetype, and you know I'm not one to promote fighter archetypes. Star Wars defender is pretty sweet. You were raving about it off-air last time, and I was like, I'm going to build one of those. You were raving about it like it was a
Starting point is 00:51:58 slick new coffee shop on the Lower East Side. I am a bit of a hipster. I was back in the day. Can I have the amulet of natural armor? Does anyone else want that? Let's see. Let's see.
Starting point is 00:52:13 Yeah, I'll take it. You can have it. Thank you, Metra. Sorry, didn't hear what you said there. It's all good. So we have seven potions Of cure serious We each took one
Starting point is 00:52:29 Did he only have one? No he had three And we had four from the lieutenants There was none from the captain I think the captain had one Or two rather So you have nine So everyone takes two and someone gets a bonus
Starting point is 00:52:44 I'll take one That was me I. I'll take one. That was me. I said I'll take one. I don't actually get one. I'm running the game. Well, who wants three? Let's give it to Baron. Baron? Yeah. What is the item again?
Starting point is 00:52:58 An extra potion of Cure Serious. A potion of blood. No. One potion of Cure Serious. Potion of Fly. Sure. No. But let's talk about... One potion of Cure Serious Wounds costs 750 gold pieces. Yeah. It's a drop in the bucket for you guys now. Fuck you. All right.
Starting point is 00:53:16 So she said to you, there's a tunnel behind the throne, branches out. throne branches out. One goes down to a crater that's heavily guarded that has the Storm Tyrant's castle tethered to it. Another one goes up to the Oracle. There's also a door leading to the south in this room. Now, you bypassed half
Starting point is 00:53:36 a dozen or so doors on your way to the throne room as well. You might want to check out. But there is a door to the south of this room. The only door leading out of this room. She also told us to visit the passageway that leads to the Mountain's Oracle
Starting point is 00:53:52 at our peril, I believe. Something to that effect. But that is also where we think Jimmer and Thun are. Right. They belong to the Mountain now, Grant. I'm curious about the door to the south I am too Let's do it Let's take a look
Starting point is 00:54:09 Can I take this aura off or do you have to do it for me? Try it I can take it off Let's see Do you want to take your aura off? You say you don't like them Try it Try it and you may
Starting point is 00:54:22 Try it and you may try it and you may i say sam uh i'm gonna quick uh cure light wounds myself before we traipse into this death trap oh yeah yeah i mean can we go up to full yeah with a wand we have a wand right do what you must sure i'm no longer hasted i might be mirror image i I'm probably mirror image. Yeah, that lasts for, well, minutes, right? Yeah. Protection from energy fire hangs out for some minutes. Protection from evil I believe is
Starting point is 00:54:55 not. Make sure you go to adjustments and pull all the buffs off that you know would be gone by now. Oh, protection from evil is 14 minutes. It's been 14 minutes. Okay. I didn't think I needed to police this until you said that. I mean, the conversation wasn't that long.
Starting point is 00:55:13 You were prying stones out of the chair. Oh, I forgot about that. Which we said we did for hours. So. The final hours of Jim Rathune's life, as it turns out. They both just died. There's going to be a janitor cleaning up. You guys just missed him.
Starting point is 00:55:29 An hour ago, they were alive. Yeah, they were alive an hour ago. 53 minutes ago. They were mopping. They were slumped over. Sipping lemonade. Mopping up their blood. I had to kill them.
Starting point is 00:55:37 They would understand. Just for funsies, healing up after that with moderate damage to the party was 16 charges. Oh, interesting. All right. You want to open this door to the south? Yeah. Fair enough. Who's opening it? I mean, I don't. I want to open the door to the north.
Starting point is 00:55:57 Which one? There is no door to the north. There is no door to the north. They said something. I meant the door to the north outside this door. Outside the main door. All right, so the door to the south. said something i meant the door to the north outside this door uh outside the main door all right so the door to the south go ahead yeah she said tunnels behind the throne but you don't see anything back there uh all right so you open this door who opens it uh baron will after a quick perception wait she said tunnels behind the throne are we supposed to look for secret doors back there um i think we'll find it pretty easily now that she mentioned
Starting point is 00:56:22 it to us yeah that's what you. You don't see anything back there. You're probably feeling like, yeah, there's tunnels back there. I'm going to take the crown and leave. See ya. And you're like, all right, cool. Wait a minute. I don't remember saying, all right, cool. You didn't shoot her when she walked out with the crown.
Starting point is 00:56:40 That's all right, cool, in my book. 34 just on traps. And then listening in is a 39 41 if i hear a stone door you don't detect any traps and you hear no sound whatsoever uh let's open that door stealthily 21 okay you open the door stealthily Stealthily. 21. Okay. You open the door stealthily.
Starting point is 00:57:22 And you see a hallway that is about 70 feet long that ends in another door to the south. Jesus Christ. Come on. I thought we were done with this. Can we just stop with this? All right. We'll run heedlessly without checking anything to the other door and just open it. Tong, tong, tong, tong, tong, tong, tong, tong. Several spiked pit traps go off and Dalgrith immediately dies on Christmas.
Starting point is 00:57:49 I am actually checking for traps. I rolled a 47. Well, a 47, man, unless your eyesight is deceiving you, you see nothing on that walkway between the doors. Okay. Look safe to me. Let's go.
Starting point is 00:58:04 It's about 15 to 20 20 25 feet wide at its widest points uh giant size newly carved as well you get to that other door what do you do knock knock knock housekeeping uh come back later listen oh traps on the door uh that is a 34 for nester on traps you don't see any traps dog earth will open the door you open the door and you see another large cavern Cavern not the size of the throne room, by any means, but it is a large room, a large bedroom, that seems to mix the trappings of royalty with the hard lines of a military office as well.
Starting point is 00:58:57 Oh, military plans on the table. Oh, perhaps. You see a chair, a large bed, and a desk have been pushed into the corner to make room for this huge table that you see, Dalgrith, covered in maps, flags, and small stones. Think on Dragonstone with the fucking table and the flags and maps and little stones. On one wall hangs a banner featuring a rune-inscribed greatsword on a square-topped orange shield. You saw this as one of the
Starting point is 00:59:28 flags on the battlefield. You assume it's related to Clan Brandrick. On the opposite wall is a black banner showing a burning fanged helmet, which you've seen since you got to this level, especially. Sursvater. And several giant sized suits of armor stand at attention around the room,
Starting point is 00:59:48 which otherwise appears empty. What do you do? Oh, God. Can someone detect magic? Yeah, check those statues and see if they're going to protect the room or something. You wave your hand over the room trying to detect magic, and you do not detect a single aura of magic. Just cycling through, detecting alignment at will for Baron
Starting point is 01:00:17 within a 60-foot cone to see if anything living is hiding in here. Cycling through, trying to detect alignment. You don't detect any alignments. Seems safe enough to me. As safe as it's going to get anyway. Let's check out that table. Yeah, let's look at the table. All right, Dogger, if I'll walk into the table.
Starting point is 01:00:39 Okay, you walk by these suits of armor, and they're just staring at you. They look like they've all been through battles. Maybe these were Tartarian's armor as he made his way up through the ranks to take over Clan Banner. Yeah, that's the giants as they grow, as they age, they molt armor. And so they probably keep it around. It looks badass either way. The desk looks like it contains a few blank copper plates for inscribing messages.
Starting point is 01:01:10 And you see documents all over the table. In addition, there were maps as well. Maps of the Mindspin Mountains and the surrounding nations of the Mindspin Mountains with key tactical locations marked throughout. You see flags and stones. They must depict army deployments and potential resistance points from notable monsters or humanoid forces such as yourself. As you're sifting through these and looking through, there's one page near the bottom that looks particularly interesting.
Starting point is 01:01:44 Buried in the paperwork on the table are what look like notes that someone took that were taken during a meeting between Tytarian and his top captains, his top brass, in which they discussed Iron Cloud Keep and
Starting point is 01:02:00 the possibility of the Fire Giants seizing the Cloud Castle for themselves. You've seen this from the beginning. All the giants that swore to the Storm Tyrant were all like, well, maybe I could do it better. And now you're seeing it again. And they put it in writing?
Starting point is 01:02:15 They put it in writing? Yeah. Well, someone's taking the notes. Should I throw these out? This is a Nixonian mistake. We'll discuss it after dinner. Well, they hid it behind all those spiked pit traps. However,
Starting point is 01:02:30 buried within that is a couple pieces of important information. The first is that the castle is surrounded by some sort of energy field that prevents flight or teleportation
Starting point is 01:02:46 directly into or out of the castle. Oh. Oh, the plot thickens. Oh. Well, I'm glad we came in here. That's the thing you don't want to find out at the last minute. Now we know not to do book six.
Starting point is 01:03:03 That's right. We can just call it here. Now we know how to give up. We can's right. We can just call it here. Now we know how to give up. We can just end the podcast. While we're ahead. It's a good run. It does say that there are smaller entrances that exist in the rocky base that supports the keep, and those are not contained within the keep's energy field.
Starting point is 01:03:22 They are, however, concealed in a cloud that envelops the castle's base. And they are guarded as well. The second piece of information, I mean, in my estimation, it's like the third or fourth piece of important information, is that the engine
Starting point is 01:03:39 that magically propels Iron Cloud Keep and keeps it aloft is outfitted with some kind of dead man switch that can trigger a powerful explosion hidden somewhere near the castle's engine room. That switch is somehow connected to the magical crown that the Storm Tyrant wears. Oh, it's like a... oh, wow.
Starting point is 01:04:03 The notes say the Tytarian learned this while he was having a meeting with Volstis, where the Storm Tyrant made it very clear to him that even if someone were to betray him, it would mean the traitor's own end once the castle was in the air. From the notes, it seems that, with all of this information,
Starting point is 01:04:21 Tytarian eventually resolved not to attack the castle and to remain loyal to the Storm Tyrant, at least for now. So if the Storm Tyrant dies, the entire castle explodes, basically. There is some connection between the crown that he wears and this dead man switch. Wow. Wow. Because he's holding a thermal detonator! He's holding a thermal detonator. He's holding a thermal detonator.
Starting point is 01:04:49 It's cool, too, because this really reminds me, there's a similar concept in the Dragonlance universe. These floating citadels that would fly over the surface of the world and were directed by that's really really similar i wonder if it's cloud castles are like a staple of fantasy from like jack and the beanstalk to you know rpgs dating back to yeah long before pathfinder yeah um now i was reading in uh rob mccurry's intro to book six's like, the one thing I knew when I started developing this project is I wanted it to end in a cloud castle. Okay.
Starting point is 01:05:34 So incredibly useful information. Again, another one you could have just been like, don't worry about it. It's not in there. Okay. We should probably save that note. Anything else? about it. It's not in there. Okay. You should probably save that note. Anything else? File it. No, you know, the armor is masterwork,
Starting point is 01:05:52 but it's not magical. And, you know, that's all that you really see in there. You spend some time, obviously, reading this stuff. So all your buffs are gone unless they were hours or days. What's the thread count on those sheets? They look to be 300 or 400, which people say is all you really need.
Starting point is 01:06:14 No, that's garbage. I don't say it's good, but there are people who say more than 400. Let's go look for those secret tunnels, I say. Yeah, we can check the other rooms later. We'll spend several hours behind the throne looking for the secret tunnels, I say. Yeah. We can check the other rooms later. Yeah. We'll spend several hours behind the throne looking for the secret tunnels.
Starting point is 01:06:31 Use that stone cutting there. Yeah, you know what? Whenever Baron can use a stone cutting, we might as well have him use it. Baron, go ahead and roll that stone cutting. Oh, I've been waiting for this moment for all my life. Is it cutting or cunning? I always forget. Oh, Lord. It's both this moment. Is it cutting or cunning? For all my life. I always forget. Oh, Lord. It's both.
Starting point is 01:06:47 It can't be both. My people have cut so many stones that we are cutting about their whereabouts. I still don't know the answer. That is not good. That's a 28 stone cutting. All you need is a 25. What? She even told you where to look, so you weren't like you were checking right where the door is
Starting point is 01:07:06 and going all around. You do, in fact, find a secret tunnel. So how cunning is he, really? So secret that I left the S on the map and just hid it at the last moment before you guys walked into the room. Oh, is that what Joe saw? No, Joe saw a picture of Tytarian.
Starting point is 01:07:24 I saw Tytarian. Oh, okay. Because he saw? No, Joe saw a picture of Tytarian. Oh, okay. Because he cheated. I didn't. Would that have ruined anything really, though? No, no, no. That's why I wasn't worried about it. You see a tunnel leading to the north and about 20 feet in, steps leading up.
Starting point is 01:07:43 Check for traps. 32. 32. You don't Check for traps. 32. 32. You don't see any traps. At least Dogwrath doesn't. 30, 36. Nestor doesn't either. All right, Dogwrath will
Starting point is 01:07:58 stealth up the steps. Natural 20, 41. Baron also doesn't see it. That's what you get for metagaming. All right. Dog Rant will stealth up. Nesta will also stealth. 25.
Starting point is 01:08:13 Wow. 40. 45. Baron will follow behind the two of them at a 23. Much louder. Metro will also stealth at a 27. A 27. All right.
Starting point is 01:08:29 So some good stealthing. You get up the stairs. By the time you get to the last stair, you almost have to climb it. Oh, it's that big? The stairs are starting to get larger. Oh, it's that big. The stairs are starting to get larger. However, when you reach the landing, you see the tunnel starts turning to the east.
Starting point is 01:08:52 It's getting wider. It's now 20, 25, even occasionally 30 feet wide and goes off another 70 feet or so. At the end of the tunnel, you see a pathway going down and a pathway going up. Oh, man. And which way was the oracle? Up or down? The oracle was up. Ah.
Starting point is 01:09:16 Let us go. Ah. Let us go to the oracle. Let us see the oracle. All right. And have a nice, long, stern discussion about copyright infringements. You start walking up the pathway to the north. It starts out 25, 30 feet wide, and then it starts narrowing a little bit.
Starting point is 01:09:42 Eventually, you think that, like, if giants were coming back and forth here, at a certain point they were almost squeezing, but still 15 feet wide, occasionally maybe 10, so they had to walk sideways, and then front ways, sideways, then front ways. Maybe only the queen was coming up here. Who knows? Eventually it opens into a huge, mostly circular chamber. They've all been kind of circular. into a huge, mostly circular chamber. They've all been kind of circular.
Starting point is 01:10:09 This one is mostly circular, and you see a few very interesting things. I'll go from least interesting to most interesting. Oh, good. Classic. That's my preference as well. You see an altar. You've seen a few of those. The first five books.
Starting point is 01:10:27 Boring. I'm so bored already. I hope this gets better. So by least interesting, you meant not interesting. Do you turn around and go? I'm giving up. I don't even want to see what's more interesting than that. There is.
Starting point is 01:10:41 It can only go up, guys. It can only go up. Well, true enough. There is... It can only go up, guys. It can only go up. Well, true enough. Barely visible, you would assume, religious iconography of a smoking forge. Boring.
Starting point is 01:10:50 Both in and around the altar and all the walls. Okay. Where are the rings of protection plus five? Where's the owner's manual? Religious iconography. Where's the owner's manual? Come with your religious iconography. Where's the owner's manual for this magic hammer? I said least interesting to most interesting. And you see an owner's manual.
Starting point is 01:11:13 There you go. All right. Sony magic hammer. It's actually for a 1995 Corolla. Metcher reads the first page and then goes, boring. Boring. roll up. Metra reads the first page and then goes, boring!
Starting point is 01:11:27 Yeah. Religious iconography of a smoking forge. Behind the altar is a large hole in the wall that opens out to the sky. Oh, wow. And you see a small platform just dropping out to nothingness.
Starting point is 01:11:43 There's no railing or anything. It's an airy. Yeah, an airy. And finally, taking up the majority of the space are the remnants of an enormous dragon skeleton.
Starting point is 01:12:00 Cool. That is the most interesting thing. That's really interesting. Very, very interesting. And in his hand is a manual for the magic fork. He must have died while reading it. I'm so bored. He's so bored while reading it. He died.
Starting point is 01:12:22 How did he get in here? Yeah. Did he squeeze through in here? Yeah. Did he squeeze through the hole? Yeah. It is unknown. Was he held in captivity from birth? Right. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:33 Yeah, maybe he grew up in here. Maybe he was shrunk. Or she. Or she. It is an enormous cavern. You've seen... Can I roll a knowledge arcana on the kind of dragon it is? Yeah, you can try.
Starting point is 01:12:44 It's going to be a very hard check with just the bones. 30. 25. The only thing you know is that it was, you don't know what kind, but you can tell from the bone structure that it was an old, old dragon. This wasn't a young dragon. This was more ancient-y. This wasn't a young dragon. This was more ancient-y. An ancient
Starting point is 01:13:07 dragon? Yes. Ancient-y. Just say it's an ancient dragon. I can't remember what all the degradations, not degradations, the, uh... Classifications. All the classifications of, uh, so I'm like ancient-y, because I think one is ancient. Well, I think it's like old,
Starting point is 01:13:23 very old, and ancient. Yeah. Or the last. Yes, I don't know if it's quite ancient. So it might not is ancient. I think it's like old, very old, and ancient. Yeah. Or the last. I don't know if it's quite ancient. So it might not be ancient. It might just be very old. But it's in that category of dragon that you haven't really dealt with. So it's really big. It's huge.
Starting point is 01:13:34 Whenever you guys talk about the ages of dragons, all I can think of is the age of garlic. What? I didn't know that. There's young garlic. You can have young garlic. It's a young red dragon. I'm like, and a young garlic confit. I'm not familiar with that.
Starting point is 01:13:52 That young, impotent garlic. Get out of my kitchen. There's actually 12 age categories of dragon. Nerd, nerd, nerd. Nerd, nerd, nerd. This kid's got some dragons to do. It is... Do you want to hear them now?
Starting point is 01:14:09 Yeah. Wormling, very young, young. Juvenile, young adult, adult, mature adult, old, very old, ancient, and then worm and great worm. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I remember that now. Worm and worm.
Starting point is 01:14:24 Those are worms with a Y, right? It is time for Nerding. What do you guys want to do? I'm going to search those bones. Yeah, I want to inspect the dragon bones thoroughly. Its skull, I want to walk into its mouth. Yeah. Look out of its eye.
Starting point is 01:14:42 What's that scene in the... Everything's come back to Game of Thronesones this episode but like when uh is it bran or ari is down in the basement and the that's what they put all the dragon skulls oh no that's uh tyrian right is that what tyrian yeah ari is down there spying oh oh you know you're right she sees the series all the not for series uh the siren i can Anyway. One of them. The pale-skinned eunuch. I do that. All right, roll perception. Unless you guys are going to hang out there forever.
Starting point is 01:15:10 Some fan you are. 38. Blanked. 38. 38. Okay. So I'm going to tell you the 38. Time has passed but you do see some
Starting point is 01:15:25 small very very small remnants of scales that are you would you would think are silver dragon scales oh
Starting point is 01:15:39 no no is that bad yeah it's metallic dragons they're good. Yeah. Yeah. A silver dragon is a good dragon.
Starting point is 01:15:49 Yeah. Oh. Now, this chamber, you're looking around, you're like, you have no idea how much has changed. You have no idea how much the giants have changed it. It looks like it's been altered. So it's hard to tell what its original structure was. Even the opening may have been much larger. There might have been a bigger landing outside.
Starting point is 01:16:09 They've done a lot of work here. It's very, very difficult. But the dragon bones seem to be intact. The altar seems to be intact. And even though whatever this smoking forge is, isn't Zerzv. You don't see any Sersvater iconography anywhere. All right, so yeah, acknowledge religion on the iconography. See if it's a dragon deity or something. Natural one.
Starting point is 01:16:33 Brutal. Fifteen? Yeah. I think I'm about to be very angry at Troy. Continue. Yeah. I mean, that's a pretty standard state of being for a lot of us. That means I'm doing something right.
Starting point is 01:16:48 Can I take a look at the altar? Mm-hmm. Do a perception on that. Ooh, natural 20. That's a 40. Really unremarkable. Really unremarkable. Old.
Starting point is 01:17:03 Hasn't been used in a long time you do see that someone has been supplicating or a couple of people may have been supplicating in front of it Giants? Yeah, the footprints just go from there to out, there's no other footprints
Starting point is 01:17:19 I'm going to walk over to the lip of the hole that leads out to the sky and sort of cautiously peek my head around and take a look. Cautiously peek your head around and you see a sheer drop, hundreds of feet to the mountain floor and armies and armies of giants. And some seem to be leaving. Not all,
Starting point is 01:17:48 but some. It's very reminiscent of what happened outside of Minderhall's Cathedral. Maybe you saw it when you were sneaking off in the night. You're brought back to that moment as well. The forge does Remind you Baron
Starting point is 01:18:08 Of Torek There is a Torek feel to it But it's different Not evil Necessarily But there are It reminds you of something Toreki
Starting point is 01:18:23 I wonder if they once Did the dwarves Ever It reminds you of something, Torheki. I wonder if they once... Did the dwarves ever connect with the dragons like that? With the good, dramatic dragons? Well, Adriel's... Right. Whole story is about his... The person who raised him was a silver dragon.
Starting point is 01:18:42 Wow. Kilpoth. Kilpoth. Dragon. Wow. Keelpath. Keelpath. Keelpath. It is seen. Shit, so Baron's going to walk up to the altar and inspect it for any runes or any other symbols, any magic. Detect alignment on the altar itself. The forge?
Starting point is 01:19:01 Yes, the forge. I apologize. altar itself the forge right yes the forge i apologize um and he'll pull out his holy book and kind of like if nothing's uh wrong with it we'll kind of uh start a prayer to torag to kind of cleanse the space okay um all right so you start a prayer to Torag to cleanse the space. You sense a lawful alignment. You know, it's not like you're detecting it so much of like you just get this overwhelming presence of like lawful good. You feel the presence of Torag and you feel like the presence of Torag's family. like the presence of Torag's family. And as you really dig into this and look at your book and consult,
Starting point is 01:19:45 you realize that it is a symbol of Angrod, who was a dwarven demigod who was Torag's brother. And so unlike Torag, who was the god of defense and strategical thinking, Angrod was one who aggressively sought out threats to eliminate the forge being a symbol of that.
Starting point is 01:20:11 They worked in harmony with each other. Much of what Torag was about was the same feelings that his brother had. It's interesting, too, because even though Baron is such a devotee of Tororek, he has certainly not done a defensive posture towards these giants. He's been seeking them out and perhaps modeling himself more after the demigod that is present in this space. Do you say anything to the gods in their presence? I say, though I did not know them, I wish that you grant.
Starting point is 01:20:53 The Ash Peaks were killed here rest. They followed Torag's will and created a stalwart defense that unfortunately crumbled. It was not their faith that failed. Nor their will. It was the treachery of the giants. Who I promise will be removed from this place in time. And the solemn power of the forge will be restored. And this mountain will once again be covered with the handiwork and love of Torak.
Starting point is 01:21:37 Kneeling in front of the altar, praying to Torak, surrounded by iconography of his brother Andrad. You feel something in your head, and you just hear the... And then a voice speaks to you. Do you know the problem with the overly zealous? They spend their lives wanting so badly for their beliefs to be the truth that they're liable to believe anything so long as it reinforces their worldview. Such was the case with Queen Covixia,
Starting point is 01:22:22 another piece to move across the board. Now lost. And then there's you, Ashpeak. I bet your ancestors would be proud to know that they have been avenged by one of their own. All this time, perhaps I underestimated you. Or maybe like a cockroach, as the world continues to suffocate in its own shit, your greatest strength lies in your mere ability to survive.
Starting point is 01:23:02 There is a centuries-long game being played, Baron And there are only a few pieces left on the board It appears you and yours are the mighty knights Risking their lives to protect a queen And that you believe to be the fate of the world Or some bastardized idea of good versus evil. But the other side has far more pieces left in play,
Starting point is 01:23:33 including a king who possesses untold power. Who do you think I am in all of this, Baron? Well, Brander... You're the one I can't seem to figure out. Can't get my hands on you. You're slipperier than an eel. I don't know what you want. But I hate playing into your hands hands and I feel like I am again if I'm being honest with you
Starting point is 01:24:12 where are you? are you just in my head? I'm nearby watching waiting it's quite the show you put on I'm nearby. Watching. Waiting. It's quite the show you put on in front of the camps. I thought you would have just taken that potion of plane shift and ended it. I tend to take the hard way out of things, Brander.
Starting point is 01:24:43 You should know that by now. Why are you here? What are you looking for now? Don't you have another battle to fight? We're here for our friends. We're here because I don't leave people behind. I found Lork. I'm going gonna make sure
Starting point is 01:25:05 Galabras is fine again and I'm gonna get Thun and Jimmer back we're looking for them ah yes your friends well they belong to me
Starting point is 01:25:23 at the moment the one eyed warrior has a special connection Well, they belong to me at the moment. The one-eyed warrior has a special connection to an old friend of mine. Oh, no. My God. And the changeling, well, he and I... Go way back. Go way back. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:25:40 Yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, no. The road to the end has begun, my friend. I wish you luck, Ashpeak. However, if I were you, I wouldn't waste much time. And a book five. Oh, my God. I'm getting a book six. Oh my god.
Starting point is 01:26:05 I'm getting a book six. Oh shit. Oh my god. We go way back. Brother food! Fucking. Oh my god. the glass cannon podcast is a glass cannon network production and is an officially licensed partner of paizo incorporated giant Slayer is copyright 2015.
Starting point is 01:26:45 Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo. All Pathfinder images are property of Paizo and are used with permission.

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