The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 262 - Sir Darlene Is Limited

Episode Date: January 26, 2021

With the top of the tower secured, the heroes venture inside. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. Oh, God! That's so much. That's so much fire. The heroes shook off their injuries. What the fuck is this? What the fuck did you stick to me, you fucking wanker? Dodged explosions. However, from the other side of the platform.

No! This dude that was cooking something up. Cooking is an interesting word. No. This dude that was cooking something up. Cooking is an interesting word. Yeah. Because all of a sudden, Nestor and Baron just see sailing over the barricade a bomb,

a lit fuse bomb just tink, tink, tink, tink, tink and roll near you. And bested the ash giants. Any fall. No! Lit fuse bomb just tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, and roll near you. And bested the ash giants. Any fall. Yeah! But the castle still looms above them.

And you see it. Kunk, kunk, kunk, kunk. Using its pincers to break the chain. What? At least for the moment. Oh, it's finished being constructed and it's going to be lifted into the sky! Oh my god! The adventure continues. We gotta get on before it goes off!

Oh, okay, now I understand what the time constraints are. Oh my god. The time constraints? Oh my god. Now. you go into a new book you probably have an idea of what you're going to be dealing with. But then you actually get into it. How close was your concept of what you thought it was going to be to what is actually unfolding? Is zero an answer?

It is an answer. But for you, that's pretty much always the answer. You are self-admittedly have the worst instincts about what things are going to happen when i play with you as a player and you're like i think this i know to think the opposite yes so that is that is 100 true i think most of the time though in cases like this i uh i just i don't even think about it like i'm like just tell me where to go you know what i mean like i don't try to figure out what the book is going to be about this is why you don't want because we also kind of know you know what i mean like i knew that we were going to go to a cloud castle and fight volstice right

at least i think we'll fight volstice right yeah that but like that is like we all we knew that that's obvious outside of that like no i what happened at the end of last episode blew my mind and i kind of couldn't stop talking about it uh after we shut down skid's face at the end you were like clutching your face and hiding behind your mic what was you had a real real visceral reaction well i'm afraid that i'm gonna start screaming because it's like oh my god like and i don't want to be spreading saliva all over the space here but yeah that was like just that that was like oh i i had just assumed that like okay so we're going to be fighting in this this flying hovering fortress chained to this i had no idea it just never occurred to me that they would be releasing this thing on their own and it would be flying out god knows where i was a little disappointed initially

because i was just like oh okay well i guess we're just we're not really actually leaving this volcano geographically we're just staying here it's like okay well it's a whole it's a different setting but it's just like in the same geographic geographical place but man that blew my mind that was that was uh that's really neat i thought we were gonna have to find a way to release it or that right that was the other thing that i thought maybe we were going to have to find a way to release it or that right that was the other thing that i thought maybe we'd have to do yeah so the the three dangling chains it was funny because every time i said it i was like i don't think it's landing on them to wonder about why only two chains are more well i thought like i thought they were repairing them or like i wasn't

really sure we had just read a requisition for chains so what were we we reading? A requisition that was really old for the initial chains? It was the guy that we just killed that was wanting them. It's really well written because you think like, okay, they're trying to more this. They're figuring out the chain situation. It's not until you see them trying to chomp it off that you start putting two and two together. That requisition actually happened a really long time ago

during the initial construction of the castle. But but it is i just loved it so much because what a brilliant concept when i first saw it i was very disappointed i don't think i said it on the show no but in my heart of hearts i was like what an incredible letdown that this thing it's cool idea that's in the middle of a volcano but like it's also lame as hell like it needs to be up in the in the middle of a volcano, but like, it's also lame as hell. Like it needs to be up in the heavens, in the sky. So like, I don't know what they're going for here. And it never occurred to me for a second that it was under construction to be released into the world, which is just so brilliant.

Yeah, well, remember your impressions because, you know, there's a lot of story to be told. So continue to like remember where you're at with what you think and see how things change as more and more information is revealed it's also i just love that it it gives us an impetus to to move now yeah to get in there before they move this thing away like we can't teleport into it or you know that's why i was trying to impress upon you without over impressing upon you the importance of time right you know what i mean?

They could have started this, uh, and maybe they did in some ways, the minute they saw metric, I'm flying across. Yeah. And then you're like, let's just go take a month off and rest.

You come back and the castle's gone. Yeah. Yeah. What would you have done? Well, luckily, uh, you know,

and I've never read anything by this writer. Uh, I want to make sure I give him a shout out and then call him up and be friends. Tito, sorry, I'm probably butchering your name. Liati, L-E-A-T-I. But now having the more and more I dig into this, I'm like, I got to read more of this dude's stuff. He's brilliant.

And it's just, it's really, a lot of writers will, you know, Tim Hitchcock in book three, I mentioned him a few episodes ago, like, he leaves it a lot up to you. It's an old school D&D way of doing things. And I like that too. I like a little bit of everything. But what's nice about him is he really, I think he writes it the way I would write, in that he's like, if the PCs do this, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And if they do this, blah, blah, blah. They usually don't do that it's usually just like the gm be like wow i didn't think they would do that um he gives you a lot of options which i like because it's i don't always go with them but it's nice to know what some options are by someone who has the bigger picture in mind um so i really enjoy that but i mean you can just see already um what a what a different type of adventure this is yeah i'm just amazed at how

jaded joe is to fantasy because he said how disappointed he was about basically driving down the highway and seeing met life floating 500 feet boring it's incredible you've seen too much fantasy that's really what it is well i just I just want a sky castle, not a volcano castle. Yeah. We've been in this volcano an entire book. I need some fresh air. You want out? It's like enough with the volcano already.

I know. You know, this beautiful place, it smells like sulfur everywhere. We've got to get out of here. I guess there is a journey to be had to eventually get there. But what I thought was going to happen, we kind of had an interstitial in between each book of kind of a journey somewhere, some random encounters along the way. Like, there was always a bit of ground to cover,

and the fact it's just like, straight through this door! And then we're there, that was kind of off, not off-putting, but different. Yeah. Well, you know, Joe, I always Diss you I guess About the way you handled Your book six of And again I never

Don't say it I want to remember it I never remember I know it And I didn't plan it Book six of Sir The Christ

Child's Eyes You never listen when I talk It's not the Christ Child's Eyes Council of Thieves Council of Thieves Christ Child's Eyes. You never listen when I talk. It's not the Christ Child's Eyes. Council of Thieves. Council of Thieves. Christ Child's Eyes. Christ Child's Eyes. I'm pretty sure it's the Christ Child's Eyes.

The third AP. From Paizo. We need more Judeo-Christian APs. Christ Child's Eyes. Just Paizo drop. New AP coming summer 2021 the christ child's eyes what the hell is happening one the fall of bethlehem um the fall but like i i i i can see it i can see it i know that you you certainly gave them

like hey and this is why I always diss you. You're like, hey, come on. I'm having a kid. Let's go here with this AP. But like, I get it. You guys are super powerful. And you can just be like, oh, you know what? I'm going to dimension door to the top of that tower and just take it directly.

Right. That's an existing council of these. I'll tell you off mic exactly why it worked and why that book was so well done. But it's just not what you think. It's not like this. Yeah. Because it is in a city, you know what I mean? But I don't want to say anything else about it for people that are playing it. Yeah. Right. We don't want people to turn off. All those Council of Thieves games that are so hot right now. Emails every week. Ask it for advice. Well, I just started book three of Council of Thieves. Yeah. So, I mean, I don't know. It kind of gives me advice. Well, I just started book three of Council of Thieves.

Yeah, so I mean, I don't know. It kind of gives me pause. Now, obviously, the castle has its own defenses against teleportation in a way and other things. But it does make me not worry, but concerned about how fast you may move through it. Like, we're all joking about another year. Will it be? I don't know.

I don't know. You guys can mow down opponents, but man, all it's going to take is just being wrong place, wrong time. Multiple attacks. Shunk, shunk, shunk, shunk, shunk. Yeah, we can be wrong place, wrong time, but these combats take two episodes per combat.

Yeah. They're so chunky. But that's the thing. It's like pitching to Barry Bonds circa 2003. It's like one mistake and you're out of the park. Gone. And then you have to do a whole thing where you replace whoever it is. Right.

Here is the other thing. Good analogy. That is going to make sure that this book goes at least 52. It killed me in Red Lake Fork when we let that fort, when we let that middle building go. It killed me leaving all those rooms on the way to Tytarian. Oh, dude. Leaving those alone.

So many rooms. So many rooms. We are going to scour the shit out of this place. Yep. Stone unturned. Oh, then it will last for a couple more years. Can you tell us if we, you know if did we leave anything like amazing behind because we didn't go through all those rooms i mean i there's so many encounters you didn't do i would

honestly have to comb through it um to see how much you guys left behind but i mean all of those dignitaries had cool magical stuff on them did Did they have game-breaking stuff? Yeah, we're not going to kill all them. Yeah, but I mean, you should see, I've kept my Roll20. I had every single possible room of Ashpeak as its own page on Roll20, scaled out and perfectly mapped out just because if you walked in there, I wanted to be ready. I had all the monsters in there, all their HP bubbles written, and I mean, there's like 30 you didn't go

into, and I've kept them here because I want to show you guys all of the rooms, but I don't want you to see any of the rooms. We can't get closer than six feet from each other, so remind me to show you. When we all get masks on, I'll stand behind a wall because it's crazy. So did you lose out on some crazy

game-breaking loot like the Hammer of Thunderbolts? No, but I mean... Did we lose out on some crazy game-balancing experience? A little. Because when we didn't level up at the boss fight at the end of the book, I was like, what just happened? We just beat King Tartarian.

Yeah, I mean, here's the thing. Tartarian. Tart beat King Tartarian. Yeah. I mean, here's the thing. Tartarian. Tartarian. Tartarian. Not defeating that magma dragon. Oh. We lost experience. Set us back.

Yeah, I took away experience. No, obviously you beat Skirkotla and the dual hand and whatnot, but like, it's just, that was huge. And then skipping all those encounters at the end that was huge but like you still gain i i i have logged experience for your the the wisdom and the choices that you made um but there's just a a slew of encounters you didn't do you're not so does that mean we are behind right now and in very dangerous territory i you are you behind as per written by the book yeah a little i don't think you're dangerous because i think a high-level play

is you're still way more powerful than you should. Isn't the right word I'm going to use? It should be. No, I think we are. I think we are. Like, I think that you could have been way more hard-ass with equipment purchasing. I think that you could have been

way more hard-ass with, like, high-level characters coming in with the starting gold. It's like, they can buy all this stuff and then just like get something from another character that already was in the story. So like, I have no problems with it. I choose my battles and like, I'm not going to be the one that's like,

let me look at that. Let me look at, uh, if that town would have, I don't have time for that shit. I'm looking at some of the, those, uh,

those Azers were pretty interesting. You know, they came from the Plane of Fire and were looking for help against their war with the Ifrits. Oh, that's awesome. That's a whole AP. The bodyguards all had plus one war hammers, but the boss dude who had that devil Eidolon.

Yes. He was a cool dude. He didn't really have any cool shit. Did the Eidolon have a name? Yeah. Oh, I'm looking at the Eidolon. He didn't have cool shit. His name was Mardazar. Mardazar.

But the head Aesir, his name was Zareen. And he had some cool shit. No? Amulet of National Armor, plus two. Belt of Mighty Constitution, plus two bite a mighty belt a mighty constitution plus two

brace of her armors plus three headband of alluring charisma plus four Matthew I have I have an equivalent it would have been

a lot more cash though it sounds like yeah ton of I mean figure you're selling all this stuff um

you know the frost giants had plus one weapons plus two heavy steel shields man once they took the diplomatic route we should have killed all of them be like You know, the Frost Giants had plus one weapons, plus two heavy steel shields. Man, once they took the diplomatic route, we should have killed all of them. When their back was turned.

Nester attacks. We sold all their stuff, robbed their bodies. But you had to know that, like, it would have been game over. The Hill Giant was cool. Rex Scruggs, she had a plus two Lucerne hammer. Oh, Lucerne hammer. The one that's, like, got reach on the end of it plus two chain mail i believe lucerne is piercing and bludging i think it has like nail on one side yeah one side on the other piercing yeah and it crits 19 to 20 um anyways i mean these are just the the monsters

that were up on this top that were at dinner yeah like there was the a level to b i'm thinking in terms of the book a level b, B level, C level. And there was, I'm telling you, almost 20 rooms you didn't go into that had encounters or just like puzzles, traps, or just cool stuff that you would find out that you didn't get to do. Wow. Yeah. Well, it was Thune.

Thune really helped like skyrocketing us right to where we needed to be. Yeah. And like I said to you a few eps back, you could not meet Thun and then just struggle your way through. But if you find Thun, he beelines you. And I was kind of glad because I knew it was going to be, some of these battles were going to be repetitive. I just wanted to get you to the second level,

especially where you were mowing down just basic rooms full of three fire giants. Yeah, that's the thing. Like, if we were just playing this at home, I would be all for going through each of these rooms and like doing everything yeah i know it's like it would be back for the show to just keep doing these similar fights over and over and over again yeah especially if they're like the even if the enemies don't change then if the room doesn't change like my setting is the same it's like

yeah yeah my favorite is the one in like the poop the poop room the poop room yeah that was choice that was different choice no yeah what's that title it was nug related there was multiple episodes was it nug related or was it pretty sure it was not related who related um pretty sure it was didn't like that at all no i didn't What were those things called? OT eggs? OT eggs, yeah. OT eggs, yeah. Old school. Old school D&D baddies. Yeah, you love to see the old ones come back. Love it. Love it. Anyways, I'm excited about this.

I was excited about this a couple weeks ago when we left. Two episodes ago when we left, I was like, I think when this combat ends, I'm going to leave them in initiative and see what they do. And luckily Metro was able to peek over and see this happening. So now you got some decisions ahead of you. Let's see how these decisions play out. I kept you in initiative order. I kept you in round six of your unish. You know, for the sake of your invisibility

that you have rolling on you, and just for the sake of fun, I'm going to keep you in initiative order until something happens, decisions you make, decisions I make, that would change that. But for now,

Metra just rolled a perception check, right? That's how we ended the app? It was just a perception check. So you hadn't taken a move or a standard or a Swifty. Maybe you want a free. Go for it, Metra. It's your round. It's your round. Let me tell you what to do. Does the scorpion start to move toward the other chain?

The scorpion is chomping. You know what? Let's go to the bird's eye view map. Take it to the bird's eye view map. That's the map we're going to look at. It didn't actually break the chain, right? It's just trying to. It will never break the chain.

Never break the chain. You don't love me now. You don't love me again. You don't love me again. All fired up love me again. You don't love me again. All fired up. Skid shared some awesome beer with us pre-sesh. I did. Pumpking.

Oh, I want to do a cartwheel. I feel like we're back at Thanksgiving. I know. Look at the map. Look where the tower is, okay? This is happening right, let me ping it, right schma. You see that schmah? I see that schmah.

Okay, so it's the northernmost chain. It's still attached on the map. Still attached on the map. So you can see that's a little over a thousand feet away from where y'all are. Wow. Is the chain still attached was your question. Yeah, it's still attached. It's using its pincers to chomp at it.

This is what you see. You would think it's been doing this probably since the bomb went off, since the thing whistled as it spun around and fired a ballista directly at, a ballista bolt directly at Baron. You would think, because when you first came in, you looked out. Do you see anything different? No. Now you're up there.

You see this thing chomping away. What do you want to do, Matra? A thousand plus feet away. I mean, it's got about a thousand feet to go to get to the other one, too. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Baron and Nestor are standing in front of the door, presumably leading down into the tower, and Dalgrith is just like, wait up, fellas.

Is that a good Dalgrith? Nailed it. Yeah. Midway on the tower. Whoa! My shoelaces! I don't relay the information to Baron because Grant just gave me a really snarky look. Yeah, he did. He really did. What's the story behind that look, Grant?

It is something Matthew did very wrong. What'd he do? No, come on. What'd I do, Grant? It is something Matthew did very wrong. What'd he do? No, come on. What'd I do, Grant? Air it out. This is the kind of place where you can air this stuff out. Not this. I know what he's going to say.

He can't say it. It's bad. It's really bad. I'm going to move on. He knows what he did? He knows what he did. Wow. I have a question.

No, tell me after the show. I don't know what I did. Send me an email. I have a question about the tower he just kermit sipped by the way grant you to the kermit not my problem uh i have a quick question about the tower i know it's my turn but i just want to i don't know if this was ever addressed or i'm just an idiot it is a small you don't allow questions out of turn, but in this case, I'll allow it. Now we're bird's eye view. It is that small little half penny circle on a rise inside this huge, enormous caldera.

Hey, penny circ. There seems to be this straight line coming out from it that's the same color stone as it. So it's a ramp up to a single door Double door that goes into the base of it That seems to be one level below Where we are Or does it seem like it's like five stories high It's 80 feet below So you don't know how many

It's an 80 foot tall tower with a 6 foot parapet surrounding it You guys are on top of it So there could be two or three Two 40 foot floors Three 20 foot floors Three 20 pluspluses. Yeah, but like... Maybe four 20-foot floors.

It's not going to be a 20-foot floor, right? Would that... I'm just going through all the mathematical possibilities. You know what, Joe? It might be a 10-footer, followed by a 30, a 24, and then a 16. I'm just throwing out... All right, stop showing off. Whoever designed this building was either a madman Or a genius

Yeah Well we know they're giants They need big space Stop showing off A genius or a genuine wacko That's the hype Thank you Skip For the record

The episode was called The War on Nugs I knew it I knew it was a nuggie app Mama likes nugs The War on Nugs The War on Nugs I discovered that by googling The Glass Cannon Podcast Mama likes nugs. The war on nugs. The war on nugs.

I discovered that by Googling the Glass Cannon Podcast plus, in quotes, choice nugs. Oh, we have a lot of fun. How do you not like book five? I remember how angry Skid was at the end of that episode because you threw his,

kicked his sword into the point. He was just like, you're going to make me go to the fucking poop to get my sword? I already hated the scatological nature of the episode and then I just ended it by right in the old poop. Yeah, not a fan. Not Skid's favorite. Do you have a favorite

app, Skid? I don't know. I don't know. The Gareon, I guesson i guess really god so great my favorite it's really good wow so it's my suffering that you guys enjoyed the most we laughed so hard that episode everything went our way and nothing went oh and i was so psyched i was like wait till they go down it just oh sorry just the grian you also get the charm the charm person yeah the you get that kind of like split seat wait is that how rick's and and gormley it's the no pants flute

dance is the grian episode or is that the next episode the next episode is no pants flute dance but i think i say it in that episode i know i think it does start the episode before you you've set the stage yeah for the no pants flute dance but either case, it is like, I'm sorry to go over old ground, but you just burst out of the wall. It's the cliffy. You're so pumped. We were so terrified. I think it was the first monster that had multiple attacks

or like that many attacks. It was the most incompetent creature we had ever faced. Like it had this amazing entrance, and they were just like, like, just missed everything. I think that's what led us to confirming fumbles from multiple attacks, which is a house rule. I think that was also the first time I was like, I mean, do I need to take my turn?

God. I got delay. It was also, like, an amazing an amazing release like there's so much tension and like i snuck into the captain's room and i was afraid he was gonna like make me walk the plank for mutiny and we read that whole passage about the horror of the mwangi expanse that's right like everything split party yeah and it was just i was so nervous all of the last like five episodes leading up to that and And when that went well, I was just like, imagine you've lived through all of it.

We lived through this. None of those characters. Except for one. Right. I was talking to Baron. Sorry, we're having a side conversation. This is a,

so my conversation. So the, the scorpion looks like it's making its way through the chain. Has not finished. Yes, correct. It looks like it's still taught, but the chain. Has not finished separating. Yes, correct. It looks like it's still taut, but it's chomping away. Does it look like it's making progress?

It doesn't look like it's wasting its time. But yeah, it doesn't. You're a thousand feet away. You roll a 30. I have really nice glasses on. 31, I believe. I think it was 31, too. I was going to say 31, but I wanted to see what you said

To see if we remembered correctly You're still a thousand feet away dude I mean this is what you know It seems like it's going to work But how long is it going to take you don't know I immediately alert the party What do you say to them I say Scorpion

It's jumping at the chains Why would it do that? To free the castle. Oh, no. What? I never thought of that. I thought we were going to be here the whole book. Metro, you still have a stand-only and a movie.

Stop. Stop. Just tossing that out um use that stand-on stand-on that stand-on arena let's just pass it out nine percenters before we record i'm a little less uh together I thought I'm less on point there was a turning point where it's your fault where Joe was like you want to split one nah let's both have one that was smart Captain McGenerous over here Joe was like do you mind if I get one of those

and Skip was like yeah no problem Joe why don't we split one and I said that's a great idea and Skip was like why don't you take one Matthew's like mind And I said, that's a great idea. And Skid was like, what's your tank one? Tank one each. Matthew's like, but if I have one? He was like, sure. I really hope we tank this episode tonight.

Here's the shirt off my back. Also, bear in mind, those in the audience listening, they only come in packs of four. So that's all of them. That's all. Yeah. They're gone. Just bear that in mind.

I just thought you know the kind of guy Skid is. He could have drank those all himself. I'm just saying. I could have drank them all myself. And got very, very sick. Ended the night in the hospital. But I chose not to. I chose to share with my friends.

And I just, I know how I feel. So I can't imagine what Matthew must feel like. He must be wrecked. I'm just trying to keep up with you. This is going to be like the Dallas show. I know. Oh, no. Oh, I know. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.

All right. All right. We still haven't gotten past the first three actions. Metra. And or a move. Metra will delay. You want a Swifty? I'll delay.

All right. Delay. You can't delay. You did the Percept. He told me I had to. It's Tiki Tac, but it's Tiki Tac. It's a Flavorcept. It's a Flavorcept. However. I like that. It's ticky tack, but. It's ticky tack. It's a flavor-sepch. It's a flavor-sepch.

However. I like that. Going into round seven. Watch your invisibility numbers. You laughed at me when I was like, we got 12 rounds and 13 rounds. Well, now it's round seven. And it is Baron's turn. Bear Bear, we need to go back to the other map.

We gotta go back. If it's gonna be relevant. We gotta go back. Open the door, mate. You wanna go back to the other map? Dude gotta go back. If it's gonna be relevant. We gotta go back. Open the door, mate. You wanna go back to the other map? Dude. It's click of the butt on my end. Don't ever say that again.

Baron will do a quick perception on the door for a 27. Okay. What are you looking for? Just listening. Listening. And traps, yeah. Okay, 24. 27.

27. Doesn't appear to be trapped. All right, it was... Silent on the other side It would bear stand to reason that they would not Lock this door while they're up here so You don't know would also stand to reason they don't Trap the door right

Well you know they have been smoking cigarettes And on trucker pills all week They might be a little paranoid They've been on trucker pills all week What was that What was that They might be a little paranoid. They've been on trucker pills all week. What was that? What was that? They were so tired when they got to the convenience store,

they bought every pill from behind the counter, like the Samurai X and the this and the that and everything. You know what's so funny? The other day I was walking. I had a consultation outside my home, and I was like, all right, see you later. And then I was walking back, and in the middle of my driveway and there's like six houses on my dead end street, there was a wrapper, package wrapper

of like one of those sex pills you get at the counter at 7-Eleven. You know, it's like tiger strength. And I'm like, that was purposely placed here. Someone had to have been like, I'm putting this in the middle of his driveway just to let him know that this is our space now.

We fucked here on your driveway. And I think it's the teens that live next door. You hear me, teens? You listen? Have you googled your neighbor Troy LaVallee? Well, I know you're banging on my driveway while I sleep. Yeah, the teens and all their need for sex drugs. Matthew, if I brought out a tape measure,

it would have been equidistant from both edges of the driveway. They placed it perfectly in the middle. That's a big F U to me. Well, pushing past your weird thought process and pushing into the door, Baron will

just have to open it. Baron opens the door. Hopefully not a strength check. It's tough. You're like, fuck, if the rest of the doors are like this. Wrong button, sir. How am I going to open it? You're struggling a little bit, but you're able to, what do you got for strength?

11. 11? Oh, no, you can't open it. You're struggling a little bit, but you're able to... What do you got for strength? 11. 11? Oh, no, you can't open it. No, yeah, no, you're struggling by yourself with 11 strength. Whew. But you get it open, and you see stairs leading down. Oh! Ooh.

So I guess... What did you say? I'll move... What? We're going to say that all year. That was a standard action or to open the door or move equivalent. Either way, I'm going to use my other action to move down the stairs of bed and do a

perception check. All right. So move action, open the door. So move action. Let the record state that when given the choice between finishing the adventure and being a completist, adventure and being a completist. Grant chose being a completist.

Talk to me about that. I don't necessarily agree with that. I think we might have to do this anyway. Why? I just think it's important. Unless you come in and, like, cast Fly on all of us. Like, we need to get down to those chains, I think. I'm going to cast Fly on all of us.

All right. I want to do it just in case we ever get reinforcements or something. I want this siege engine disabled. Oh, is that all you want? Yeah, Matthew. I can do that right here. You can disable the siege engine right here? I'll just disintegrate an integral part of it.

I think we might be better off moving on foot rather than flying because we might be spotted. But then we have to climb the chains. Which brings up another interesting thing. A, climbing the chains, not a problem. We're superheroes. B, I just, did anybody think of this? Am I stupid? Should I answer that?

Nobody up here could see us. So how did they see you? What saw you? This is what I was thinking before today's ep. It's like, it was was the whistle went off it turned right toward you and fired was it just the main guy could have been the main guy but i mean we haven't searched the bodies i don't know if troy was like trying to not show his hand there because i remember him like turning the ballista and being like he sees baron and metra and like firing at

you guys he did say he did say that would be like way too clever for, he said, who's visible. Right, right. So something fishy is going on and it might have to do with flying. Yeah. That's the thing.

I'm just, I'm right now. I'm wary of flying. I have no ability to climb the chain. Well, I mean, we have spider climb. We do. Yeah. Yeah. That's why we brought it. Right. That's why I'm to climb the chain We have spider climb We do have spider climb That's why we brought it

That's why I'm saying climbing the chain is not a problem I think there's also a chance That we could get even more information About the keep Going through here There might be another bureau full of notes And letters and requisitions So I want to find it

You want me to add you want me to, you want me to add onto that? We could get some much needed experience so that we have the level we need to get into the, and we might as well. We're still, we still have this invisibility. I mean,

we might as well just use it. Exploit it. If we are able. I mean, it's crazy though. If this lasts more than like four rounds, Dalgrith has already hit. If he goes on invisible,

I feel like I i gotta get out of here yeah interesting interesting though all right there's a lot of different options you delayed so you can jump back in whenever you want i mean if we're going if we're all going in i'll i'll double move to you can i run from around well you still did a perception right yeah so what do i what do we see do we see a lot of papers with information about the castle? You see stairs going down. Here's the map of all the floors. Now, you, Baron, see stairs leading down. It's a winding staircase that is winding.

You're entering the eastern portion, and so it's winding down. Clockwise. Clockwise. you're entering the eastern portion and so it's winding down clockwise how far can you move down the stairs or are you just doing a perception from the top of the stairs I'll do a perception at the top and then I'll move 30 feet in and do another if I don't hear anything that would lead me to stop

alright give me that perception 32, 34 if it's a hostile secret door. Okay. Not a lot of light. It looks like there is light on the next floor kind of coming up, but the stairway itself is dark. It's only illuminated by the light coming from outside. I'm wondering, what time did you guys come out here?

I don't think we... We didn't really establish this. It would probably be daytime. Morning, right? The map makes it look like daytime. So, I'm fine with that. Yeah, I think we got up in the morning and... Had a coffee.

Teleported. And dimensioned it. Yeah, had a nice espresso. Right. And then we're like, there, arm battle. I had to do my morning ablutions first. Gotta have those ablutions. So, after moving 30 feet in feet in so i got a 32 so i don't

do i see anything that would make me hear anything that would make me want to stop see anything 60 feet of dark vision but it's daytime so it doesn't matter no the stairway is like eight feet wide um which are like that's a little narrow um for a giant this is like a place for giants but uh you go 30 feet down and it just starts to turn to the next floor. Survival to see if there are any footprints that wouldn't match those that I saw upstairs. Okay.

Nice roll. Well, mediocre roll. 22. 22? No. Okay. So Baron will share with the rest of the party that he thinks that we probably got everyone who was in this tower. Based off of a quick look. Okay.

Let's keep moving. In initiative order. Metra will act. I'll run through the door. Oh, Metra wants to act, does she? All right. Let me move you in the initial order. Shaboink. Okay. Metra me move you in the initial order. Sheboink.

Okay. Metro will move into and through the door? Whatever I can get to with a straight line. Okay. Well, how much extra room do you have to move once you reach the door? Oh, you're just straight running. So you run in and into the foyer. Okay. Okay, so you're like five feet behind

Baron. Makes sense. Okay. It is now Nestor's turn. Nestor is going, he's going to double move down the stairs. Double move down the stairs. Are you stealthing? Are you listening? No, I can't really stealth, but I'm invisible.

Okay. But I'm going to do just a perception just to be aware. Okay. 37. 37. 37. Double move. What is the extent of your double move? 60 feet.

Okay. If you would refer to below the map that you're currently on, you will see a little staircase. Oh. And Nestor would be right at the edge of where i have unveiled so where's baron baron um would would be at the top and metro would be you know what i'll do is i'll i'll reveal parts of the stairs that aren't on the map do you know what i mean yeah so you guys can place yourselves on this new map. Okay. So is Baron in front there, or is that Nestor in front?

Sorry, I'm just trying to figure out the stairs. I said it moved clockwise. It moves counterclockwise. Oh, okay. So Nestor moves counterclockwise, so he can see the room now, the whole room. Well, he can only see about, what is that, 35, 40 feet away from him. The wall, there's a wall there. Oh.

And then you see that about 20 feet away, it turns and opens into a room. At the extent of Nestor's movement, he is only, he's like five feet away from where it turns into the room. I'll reveal a little bit more to like, let you see where that like room starts to happen. If that makes more sense. You see how it like turns into the room. I also don't want to play Nestor's character, but based off of his accent, I think he's moving anti-clockwise. That's very good point. That's an astute joke.

Um, it is Dogwood's turn to round out the round Dogwrith is now alone On the top of the tower Really far from the door He's just like Dogwrith you slow bastard And he just starts hustling And he can only get to here Which is still ten feet from the door

We dwarves are natural sprinters Very dangerous over long distances And he can only get to here, which is still 10 feet from the door. So you're still. We dwarves are natural sprinters. Right. Very dangerous over long distances. Okay. All right. Let's take it to round eight. And it's Baron's turn.

And Baron is, what, 30 feet behind Nestor, give or take? 20? Not even. Yeah. Yeah. So Baron will take one move to get to the edge of the corner with 30 feet and does anything else reveal itself to him once he arrives at that point or no you're right at the edge of glory and it certainly does dear first thing that happens

is a crossbow bolt comes flying at your head let's take take a look. This is bad. At the map. Oh my god. Oh, jeez. It's a big room. Aren't you glad we came, Matthew? No, because there are more sick ass giants here. There are several desks, though, that could

contain paperwork. It looks like NBC commissary. There's just all these long tables and there's beds, It looks like NBC commissary. There's just all these long tables and there's beds it looks like. There's a lot going on in this room. Before that crossbow bolt does or does not hit Baron,

let me talk to you about what's happening in here, what Baron sees. This particular room on the first floor, by the way, so you can see that there's just this floor below. However, there's a little bit more. This particular room occupies three quarters of this level of the tower and contains a

dozen giant-sized pallets, a dining table, several stools. To the northwest, you see a vertical brass pipe occupying a fireplace that is carved directly into the tower's stonework. There are two archways exiting the room. One where you guys are, and then one

to stairs that lead down on the other side of the room. Look at that. So there's a basement. There is a door standing directly below these two ash giants that you now see. So that's why I said this only occupies three quarters of this level, because there's another quarter, another quadrant that is behind a locked door. And there's an arrow slit that is open in the north wall and then of course way on the far end near the stairs leading down uh is the door you think would presumably lead to the ramp

out here's the thing these giants are waiting for you and they act well before that happens if a crossbow bolts come, Baron will take an immediate action. Gun slingers dodge. It is not a five foot step. In fact, it provokes if I'm next to an enemy and it does not take away my five foot step on my turn. We talked about this a couple episodes ago. We did.

So I just wanted to clear the air. I appreciate it. But I'm going to step further into the room to allow everyone else an easy way in and so I don't have to take a longer move action to get back in to attack them later. Okay. So you're going to get a little bone to your AC here, is what you're saying. Okay.

Very good. They have their huge heavy crossbows loaded. The first one will fire at you. That was the only one that could see you. Of course, now with your move, they both can see you. First one will fire. Gonna need a big roll here. Really gonna need it. I'm due.

I'm due. Ooh, I wonder if you are within 30 feet. Should I throw on that point black shot zoney? Ooh, exactly. 30 feet away. So you're farther away from the other one. Let's toss on a little PBS. Plus one to hit, plus six to damage. Here we go.

I'm never going to hit you, but I'm excited anyways. 32. Miss. Yeah! It's a natural 18. Oh, man. I mean, it crits 19 to 20. You know, it's just really frustrating being so underleveled

for this. I'm sorry to break your backs with being so underleveled. That's cool. It only takes 14 rounds to load that crossbow. I think I might be using the Hammer of Thunderbolts this combat, if they can't hit me. I'm just going to walk straight up to them just for

kicks. Do you have a belt of giant strength? Do you have a belt of giant strength? Do you have a belt of giant strength? No. You need that to get the plus five action. Plus three is enough for me. Yeah, but it's not returning, I don't think. It's returning.

It still is returning. Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't do giant spain. Oh, giant spain. There's a couple other properties. Anyways, the other one will fire at you. I can't do point blank shot, but it was ready for you guys to come down.

It heard all that commotion, so they're just standing there ready to fire. The other one is going to fire. Come on, I got to roll a natural 20 to hit you. You can do it. Oh, I can't. Out of the fucking box. Another natty 18.

Rocks! And I can't hit you. I can't hit you that's a 31 so just nice bear bear very casually kind of sidestepping these bolts oh hey and now it's your turn Baron you get to ask uh did you just

do a single move action right no I yes single move action yes yeah because you were like 30 or 20 feet behind Nestor. You moved up to the edge, and then you did the gunslinger. Yeah. So I will go ahead and take one single shot.

Against the foremost one or the one in the back? The foremost one. Okay. Okay. Sure. Why not? The one that can do point blank shot on you. Yeah.

So. Crit. EBS. No crit. No, that's NBC. I'm sorry. No crit. Here it comes. No crit. No whammies. No whammies. Crit. PBS. No crit. No, that's NBC. I'm sorry. No crit. Here it comes.

No crit. No whammies. No whammies. Crit. No whammies. I think it is definitely hit with a 27 and the total damage

will be 29 points of damage. Okay. Okay. I love a round where Baron only has one shot. I'm like, okay. This can be more than two rounds of combat.

Good. Good. Good. It's Metra's turn. Metra, you are at the top of the steps here on the turn, and you hear a thunk, thunk, and then you hear, boom, as Baron shoots his gun. If I start walking down the stairs, is there a railing? Can I see over the stairs? Or is that a penis?

No, it's a wall The penis there is a wall That goes all the way up to the top floor Okay, you know what? Yeah, what? I'm gonna do something fun Okay, so Metra is going to step out She'll move action down

Step in by Baron And she'll cast a little spell Called Audio Visual Hallucination. Oh! I love this spell! And she will... Does it require any line of sight? I'm going to try and burn you everywhere I can.

To them, or you just need line of sight into the room? I'm assuming it doesn't need line of sight into the room. Okay, because you can't see them from where you're standing right now, if it matters. I'm not targeting them. I know. I'm already trying to of sight into the room. Okay, because you can't see them from where you're standing right now, if it matters. I'm not targeting them. I know. I'm already trying to bargain for my life here. There are still seven metros.

So from these seven metros, well, that actually has no relation to her whatsoever. Oh, I do target. It does target creatures, so I should need to be able to see. All right, do you have time? Do you have enough time? Do you have enough movement to get to there?

I should. I was less than 30. You should just hotbox the room, bro. It'll get to him eventually. They'll hallucinate. So I'm going to target both of them. Okay. And I'm going to make them see an army. And just like one after the other knights, like paladin knights,

bursting through the door and charging into the room and swarming them no it should be space marines with bolters blazer never seen that and thus cannot create an audio maybe metric could imagine metra's really not into that setting you'll never live that down you get a will save Metra could imagine. Metra's really not into that setting. You'll never live that down. You get a will save. All right.

All right. Let's walk through the will saves. The guy up top, PBS, 14. Fail. And then the lower guy, 25. Pass. Okay. Okay. So the guy who failed just believes

that the room is being flooded with paladin after paladin after paladin. Badass. Paladin after paladin. And so if he goes up to attack one or something, when he swings through it and there's nothing there, is that when he knows that the minor illusion or silent image, does he now know,

like, I've been duped? Let me read this. Or does he just keep thinking that he keeps, I have some time just so read it and then I'll eventually reread it when you interpret it in a way that favors you. Moving on, it is Nestor's turn. All right, Nestor is,

he sees the bolts flying across in front of him. He knows what's going on and he's going to move 30 feet and he is going to take another pinpointed shot at the giant furthest from him okay so that is yeah netty 18 that's a hit hit and so you're uh you're aiming at the southern one near the door? Yeah. And that's 36 points of damage. Ooh. God. Just lay out so much damage both of you guys with just one hit.

Okay. Alright. So you're telling me there's a chance. It's Doggo's turn. Oh! My plane of fascinators is acting up! Still on the roof! Still he's on the roof. So 10 feet into the door and then he can move

another 30 feet down the stairs. So you can tell me where I am LaValley if you just want to ping it. Yeah, I'll drag it. How far is 30 feet down from the doorway? You're right at the sort of top of the lip here. Okay. Yeah, you can get there next round, no prob.

Right. I'm coming, Metra. I'm coming. All right, round nine. Matthew, any ruling on... It's actually just one image, so it's gonna be one of the most badass paladin you've ever seen.

Perhaps giant-sized. Oh. In gleaming armor. A giant? Radiant like the sun. So he thinks you have a giant on your team? Yes. Okay.

Charging straight at him with a greatsword. All right. And so the image disappears when struck by an opponent unless you cause the illusion to react appropriately or instruct it to do so. Yeah. Its AC is equal to 10 plus the spell level. All right, so the first guy, and where is it?

Let me give you a thing to put out there. I don't know why this is on my screen, but here is a young lady holding a chainsaw. Oh, there you go. So you can place that anywhere you want. That's what you should have done. No, I cannot. All right, ping it.

I think it's a chainsaw. So it bursts in through the front door. Oh, in the back. Okay, so you want Alright, ping it. I think it's a chain sword. So it bursts in through the front door. Oh, in the back. Okay, so you want to move them away. Yeah. I got a chainsaw and I'm pissed! So yeah, let's have you... It doesn't get to them. Let's say it charged in. It doesn't

get that far. It only single moved. Okay, so it's pretty much right where I put it. Yeah. And it's screaming. It's screaming a war cry. All right, so now... Die, giants, die! Now this guy thinks that they're flanked, and he's like,

Oh, my God! Ah! And he just double moves to get towards it. And the other guy's like, What are you doing? Where are you going? There's nothing there! Yeah, he can get there with ease.

He'll get right up next to it, but he had to double move Yeah, he can get there with ease. He'll get right up next to it, but he had to double move so he can't take an attack. Meanwhile, his buddy's like, What? No, come on! And he is going to drop his crossbow while moving. The only person he can see is Baron.

Well, I can see Metro, but there's 14 of her. So let's see how far. You know what? Let's get up close and personal, huh? I want to make sure I don't overmove here. No, I've got to move him for days. All right, so yeah, he's going to get right up in y'all's business. And he's going to take a swing with his heavy mace.

And Ed Barron, both hands, baseball swing. Huge, heavy mace. Ed Barron, both hands, baseball swing. Huge, heavy mace. Oh, I want to put power attack on so bad, and it's such a waste against you with your 45 AC. Yeah, no, I'm going to leave it off. Come on. Come on. I feel like Joe O'Brien smashing desks.

It's just really immature, Troy. I'm sorry. I get all fired up. The only good thing that came from this is he did clog the walkway here. Yeah, that's where I want to put him. So he's kind of like blocking the entrance for Coyne, Baron, and Metra, and then eventually in a few rounds, Dalgrith. Meanwhile, it is Baron's turn.

Jeez, jeez, jeez. You can't full withdraw through multiple threatened spaces, right? Shoot. I mean, you can. You just provoke attacks of opportunity. Might only provoke one if he doesn't have that combat reflexo. I mean, is this

a threatened square? Are you? Baron will. Got him, Troy. Five, six. Nailed it. That's probably still threatened. I meant to say, do you come with a car?

Do you come with a car? Because that was a corner is the reason I asked. Oh, that's an interesting question. No, you cannot take an attack of opportunity if the target has any cover whatsoever. So that is a fact. Okay. Um, but he didn't have cover when he

when he started the movement. The triggering movement would provoke. But he's full withdrawing. So it would be the second movement. Well, I'm actually just going to five foot step to that corner right there. Would that work? Where I'm standing right now? So far, so good. I would say right where you are, you don't have cover from

him. Okay, got it. Then Baron will stand and bang. Stand and bang. Stand and bang. And take an AOL? Yeah. Let me resolve this so obviously missed AOL. Bold. You know, just, you know, everyone, this is a hero.

Hey, Troy, what a hero it looks like. Troy, do you have any bottle caps? No, you have two, though, and you're the only one. I just, I don't know. I feel like I'm not rolling well. But it's against Baron. I can't let that bother me. Eventually, these are going to hit.

You're rolling extremely well. Am I really? Yeah. You just can't hit him. Yeah, that's true. I am rolling well. It's just he's impossible to hit. All right.

These are also, like, dumpy creatures. You're a dumpy creature. They that's true. I am really well. It's just he's impossible to hit. Alright. These are also like dumpy creatures. You're a dumpy creature. They're very sick. They're very sick. It was sitting on the 18 again and then folded, so no attack on the first shot. I believe it's a plus 18 to hit. It's a little low at this

level. I'm pretty sure Taitarian was like a plus 29 to hit or something. Plus 28. Don't forget that's with Power Attack. 28 points of damage. Okay. Second attack. Okay. That is a hit and will be

31 points of damage. 31. Damage? 31. 33 points of damage. A hit on the third attack doesn't even say hit he just goes straight to damage you cocky son of a well joe has me rolling the dice and the and the two hit at the same time and now my head hurts i know you are the one that really should do that because if you roll a non-miss fire, just say the damage like it's a hit. 12 against touch AC. It's exactly...

What was that? Is that a natural 2? Natural 3? No, that's a 6. Oh, right, because you would miss fire. That is going to be 28 points of damage. Still standing. Weevils wobble, but they don't fall down. Hell of a round, though. Boom, boom, boom, boom.

Lights him up. Metra's turn. Metra, you are visible. There are seven of you, and you're within 10 feet of this thing. Metra will take a five-foot step to her right. Okay, still within 10 feet of this thing. That's fine. And she will concentrate and have the paladin

aka the chainsaw lady Hallucination. Kind of dodge and off to her left and run around the room basically to the edge of the table to the north. Okay. It provokes an AOL from him.

So he will try to swing at it. He'll use his AOO. There you go, friend. Crit. The AC is 10 plus your caster level. Level of the spell. It's 24 to hit? Yeah. So it just disappears? How does this work?

The image disappears when struck unless you cause the illusion to react appropriately or instruct it to do so. That seems like, why wouldn't you just always do that? Because I think that probably takes concentration. So like you probably couldn't do anything else. Well,

I would say Metro would know it's going to try to swing at it with an attack of opportunity. And then, so she would say, move that way. And I think as long as you burn your concentration, that's penalty enough. Like you can't do anything else.

It's because it's concentration plus three rounds afterwards. So I'll say as long as you burn your concentration, that's penalty enough. Like, you can't do anything else. It's because it's concentration plus three rounds afterwards. So I'll say as long as you're concentrating, you can make it move. You can make it move. But once you decide to let it go, it'll still keep going for three rounds, but you can't make it react.

I'm spending my standard action to make it like, maybe I even let it take a blow in the shoulder. And then look right back at him and be like, you son of a bitch. I'll get you a chainsaw wielding weirdo i love that i love that line from texas chainsaw massacre when she shouts that chainsaw wielding weirdo what a great classic American movie. Five foot step, concentrates to make this thing move

and then continues to concentrate to make it be like, ah, a glancing blow. And it is Nestor's turn. Nestor is within range of this guy's AOO, but he's still invisible. Yep. So Nestor, he's invisible. So he basically double knocks two arrows

and like leans right up and shoots them right up into this guy's groin from beneath. Wow. No. That is a 34 to hit. Yeah. And this is so many arrows. 57 points of damage. He crumbles to the ground.

Okay. Crumb bony. All right, so since I did many shot, I can't do a move action, so he's just going to take a five foot step to prepare to get back into combat against this other chainsaw-wielding weirdo. Only one enemy left that you can see,

and it is Dalgrit's turn. Oh, can I actually, can I see this other person? So let's see, if you put the five foot step back, can you see him? No. The way that middle pillar of the tower, it's blocking your view. Okay.

The chainsaw lady would have continued moving, by the way. Okay. Aha. Come get me. Yeah, exactly. Around the table there with the stools. Okay. Leading him on the merry chase.

That's kind of flirtatious. Come and get me. Come on. Look at her. She's lovely. She's wearing like lace spandex She's got fishnets Covered in blood Fishnets and Doc Martens

She's got a story What is her name? Yeah what is her name? Are you asking me? Darlene Sir Darlene of the chainsaw Sir Darlene. Sir Darlene? Sir Darlene. Sir Darlene of the chainsaw. Sir Darlene of House Husky.

Dalgrith, what do you do? Dalgrith. Oh, and such an embarrassing moment. Stops on the stairs. Eyes widen. No, you dumb bastard. He sees Nestor kill this giant. He sees the giant's head fall.

Boom. In front of him. Baron, you got this in hand? Of course. Okay. I'll be right back. And he just, you hear his voice. And he just turns around and runs back upstairs

where he left his giant spain short sword on the ground outside like an idiot he deserves a bottle cap for honesty I remember you saying that and you know what I don't like

campaigning for caps but I'll give it to you thank you man it's so bad I just pictured him like stopping to be like campaigning for caps, but I'll give it to you. Thank you, man. It's so bad. I just pictured him stopping to be like, he was just racing to get to the door with everybody, and then was just like going for the key. He's just like, I'm about to

Oh, no. Oh, no. I mean, what a horrible feeling. Is it even worth it? Well, maybe not, but like but like I mean I'm thinking that like they have this combat in hand you know what I mean so like it just would if that guy didn't go down

he would go down but I just thought that it would be very funny also like I love the idea by the way where you're standing that you just see it crumble and it's only it's massive head that like falls at the bottom of the stairwell and that's what you see and you're like, all right, I'll be right back.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. All right. Then let's, uh, sprinting back.

Yeah. Sprinting back up the stairs. Idiot, idiot, idiot. Let's take it to round 10. Then, uh,

this guy will, uh, we'll loop around the table and, uh, take a swing at this chainsaw woman and hits it with a 34, and you're just still concentrating. So until you change that, I'm going to say that you...

How do you react to that? I mean, I guess that's... I don't know. I think you might disbelieve me at this point. The image disappears when struck by an opponent unless you cause the illusion to react appropriately or instruct it to do so. AC is equal to 10 plus the level. Hit it once. You react. Keep chasing.

Hit it again. I don't know how it works. Last time I anticipated that it would hit, so I had it react that way. This is totally... We're just making this rule up, but I think you and I are on the same page here. How long can this happen? What if you have to roll concentration against the damage I would have dealt to the illusion? Sure.

That's fine. I love that. I love that. He still loses his round. And you're rolling dice. Yeah. I'm going to roll a dice. When in doubt, roll dice.

Oh, you might get this. Let me tell you what the DC is. You ready to roll it? Five, six, seven, 23. I rolled a 38. Oh, my. Nice. God. I rolled a 38. Oh, my God! I'll get you yet! Sir Darlene of House Chainsaw!

Wait, what's it? Sir Darlene of House Husky. House Husky. Weirdness of the Chainsaws. Yeah, so I'm going to say he still is... Until you change what you're doing, I'll use this fun little house rule to see what happens.

And it is Baron's turn. He's looped around the table. Baron. He's now within sight of you and Nestor, but he is pretty far away. I don't think that illusion is going to provide a cover because it doesn't exist. You want to roll a will save against the Baron?

No. Baron will say out loud to Metra. Metra, I'm feeling inquisitive today. Let's keep this one alive. I want to question him a bit later. So Baron is going to stay. Well, he's going to five foot step onto the square of the giant because it's never difficult terrain, as is written in the rules.

And we'll take a single shot at him. One range increment out of his regular range so this is against regular well he'll spend a he'll spend a grit to resolve against touch ac actually so okay minus two to this and here we go 26 against points of damage that was the second hit against him uh and you had to move to get into that position yes uh yes i took a five foot step i'm just gonna take the one shot because uh i don't want to spend a grit on all i could take the remaining shots and hope i could oh if you only took a five foot step then. Yeah. Okay. I will do it.

I will do a full attack action without rapid shot then because I want to be able to hit with the remaining ones with higher bonuses. So minus two still. Here it comes. What do you got? 17 against regular AC. 17 against regular misses. I don't think we've said that in weeks.

15 against regular AC. Wow. Okay okay so miss miss By Baron and now it goes To Metra's turn You're going to keep concentrating I'm going to keep concentrating and I will send it It's crazy I'll send it like running around the table

And straight across to the east Around the table and straight across To the east That will provoke so I'll also incorporate it, like taking another hit and keeping it running. Okay, I mean, again, I'm rolling my best rolls ever against nothing. But since you want to do the damage concentration to see if it... Sure.

Yeah, I mean, I've hit this thing three times. Well, no, this time I'm acting, I'm concentrating to make it react appropriately. Right, okay. Do you want me to roll? Do you want to roll? Yeah, let's roll. Let's roll dice. God, I think you're, what'd you roll?

31. Yeah, you're fine. There's no way! Unless I put power attack on, if you're rolling like that. What a fun spell. What a dum-dum. It is Nestor's turn. All right, so Nestor's going to take another five foot step closer

and unleash a new flurry of arrows against this punk ash giant. Nailed it. Punch some new ash holes in it. Multi-shot study target first attack is a 36. 36 hits. 61 points of damage. Okay.

Still kicking. Sir Darlene continues to taunt as part of the hallucination. I'll get you, knight. And I'm going to do Blood Reader on it. Okay. It has 43 hit points left. Okay. He's almost down. I can fucking feel it.

And he's going to do one more attack. That is a 23 against flat-footed. 23 flat-footed misses, actually. All right. Then he will fire again. And that is... Oh, don't sleep on me now. Don't you sleep on me?

That is a 28. Flat footed. That is a hit. Okay. 43 points of damage. Exactly. 41 points of damage. He's down to two hit points, and it's Dogra's turn.

Bonehead. Now he's running across the fucking roof, about to be visible in one round, I think. Yeah, he's running across sort of just like talking to himself like, Thank you, your majesty, for the gift of this priceless fucking artifact! And then you just leave it on the roof! He's running to the

sword. Running to the sword. Round 11. It is this stupid, stupid giant's turn. He's been hitting this thing and not doing any damage. So he just

double moves to try and get to the rest of the party. This knight is undefeatable. No one shall defeat Sir Darlene Alright he gets about 50 feet Into his move when he runs right up

Against Nestor however he's already Double moved and as we talked about Last week he then cannot take His standard action so He bumps right into Nestor and he's like The fuck is happening I'm hitting this chainsaw-wielding knife. I'm running into an invisible wall.

Where's my buddy? It is Baron's turn. Baron, for the first time ever since acquiring this item, will eschew the plus two bonus to his AC, the plus one myth Robuckler provides, reaching into the first time ever in two episodes. You will not believe what happens in the latest episode of the Glass Care Podcast.

And we'll cast Acid Splash on the giant range touch attack. Ooh, Acid Splash. Sorry, I have to detangle. So that is a 20 against touch AC. Yep. Here comes the damage One point of acid damage One point of acid damage Amazing

Gives him one hit point I wish I had left And it is Metra's turn Metra will stop concentrating Sir Darlene remains Sir Darlene remains Just dead in it And she will also cast acid splash will stop concentrating. Sir Darlene remains. Sir Darlene remains. And she will also cast

Acid Splash. Oh, a little Acid Splash. Range touch. Minus four. Natty 19. Not even funny. And you take one D3. Get my D3 here. You take one hit point of damage.

So he's still not down right he's just standing there staggered disabled what is it disabled mortal kombat style uh it is now nester's turn nester it's right up next to you but he can't see it he felt you okay might be able to swing at you next round is his last move okay and you know that! Nestor switches his bow into his other hand, clenches his fist and thrusts it right up into his giant scrotum. A non-lethal punch.

That is a 27 against flat-footed. That is a hit. You don't take any minus to that, right? No, you just... I mean, that is a minus. Unbelievable. So, that is... Just. That is a minus. Unbelievable.

So, that is... Just punched him in the balls. Wow, that's... Oh, yeah, that's 15 points of non-lethal. 15 points of non-lethal. So, he goes to negative 15. He's unconscious. He's unconscious and dying. He just... Boom!

Right to the nuts. And he, his eyes go up in his head and he, boom, crumbles to the ground. And then we go to Dalgrith at the end of round 11. That was the most ridiculous comment we have ever done. I ever had a blast. ever done. I ever had a blast. But here's the thing.

I am actually nervous because Dalgrith runs to his sword, which is right here. Picks it up. That's his whole action. As soon as it gets in his hand. Do a perception check. She becomes visible. End of round 11.

And he's like, wait. And he hunkers down behind the mass of this dead giant that he just killed. Or somebody killed. I'm sure it wasn't him. Standing right next to him. So he hunkers down next to it. He'll do a perception around, up and around him for danger. Because he's got to go back to the door now fully exposed.

How tall are you? Give or take. Four foot eight. I don't know. Yeah, you're four foot something, right? Four foot two. It's a six foot parapet, so you can't even see over the edge of this tower without standing on the body of a giant.

Well, luckily nobody below can see me. Roll a perception check. So he'll look kind of up into the sky for danger. Natural 20. Oh, there we go. For a 37. Come on. Give me some shoes.

As you're standing there, as round 11 creeps into round 12, you hear, circle. you hear and see the fourth chain loosen and whip up into the air. Get out of here! It's that fast? Seconds?

The castle is now only held by one chain. And we'll see you next time! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! We have got to... I thought that he was doing it all flavor and that we would have hours.

Oh, my God. Amazing. You don't love me now. You don't love me. You'll never love me again. Never break the chain. Never break the chain Never break the chain The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated.

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