The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 272 - Another Day in Paralyze

Episode Date: April 6, 2021

With one of the team taken out of the fight, the heroes must dig deep against the paralyzing onslaught of cloud giant mohrgs. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A fresh voice can speak to you and open your ears and your mind to new views and new perspectives. The call of the wild, a crescendo of culture. Listen as a chorus of fresh voices moves you, taking you to greater heights. Add your voice to the mix and let fresh answer back with perfect harmony in pure Michigan. Keep it fresh at Michigan.org. Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast, the heroes began their search for the engine room. All of you hear something coming from this debris on the wall. Oh no.

But hideous monsters lay in wait. Oh, I know what these are. Yeah, it sounds familiar. We fought them in Skirkotlas 2. You may know what they are, but I don't think you've seen them this size. That's what they look like. They are going to kill

me. And elapse in tactics. I'm fine with it, but it is ludicrous that we didn't see these two bordering on colossal creatures in the barrels. Left them perilously vulnerable. Here comes the tongue. Natty18 on the tongue. Good news, always with the tongue, doesn't do any damage, but you are paralyzed for

two minutes. Alright, see you guys later. The adventure continues. I'll let you know right now. I'm rooting for you. Now. so There are episodes. And then there are episodes. You know what I'm talking about. And I have a feeling this is going to be an episode. The latter kind?

Mm-hmm. The latter kind. I pronounced it a little differently. Man, I was hoping against hope it would be an episode. But it turns out, guys, this could be an episode. This could be. Looks like this one's an episode.

Episode. You got it. I heard it. You heard it. You know, I don't want to spend too much time before we jump back in, but I also want to spend about 40 minutes talking. Let's cut out a quick 40. It's, you know, hindsight's 20 hindsight's 2020 and blah, blah, blah.

Maybe we could have done this different, maybe whatever. Um, it's a, it's a real crazy situation. And, and I mentioned this at the beginning of this book, I say it all the time. It's like, you know, death can happen at any point. It could happen in like an encounter that you don't want it to happen to. And especially at this point, you want these heroes to see their way through the end. But the reality is, four encounters into Iron Cloud Keep slash Zephyr Hall, this is kind of what you're up against. How do you feel about it?

Bad. Bad. Bad. I feel bad. Just bad, yeah. There are so many things I hate There's so many The list I don't I only want to read it on air Some of it is about you personally

I don't think I don't think I should read it out loud Yeah, yeah It's bad It's bad i kept thinking through um and one of the things that i thought was well i just kept thinking about how nothing matters how nothing's important uh and this is you just met god and now you're already yeah already i'm a matter of minutes apparently in game time removed from meeting god it's like there's no reason for anything there's no point for trying it's such an american hope to exist you just met god and now life is meaningless life is meaningless so spoiled

well no what i was actually thinking about was if things go our way in some respects. So, you know, Dahlgrith gets some attacks off or the creature misses Dahlgrith a few times next time. He doesn't have to roll as high. Baron unparalyzes Nestor, you know, et cetera, et cetera. Like, at the end of the day, I kept coming back to that it all doesn't matter because if Nestor uses his whole round on paralyzed Nestor, he's just going to get grappled again, like with the way that these numbers are, it seems, or maybe it's with the way that you're rolling

and how much Nestor has to pull off in order to get even a single shot on one of these guys. He's just going to have to provoke so many attacks of opportunity. It's a brutal situation. And then I thought about Dalgrath, and maybe he can avoid getting grappled. His CMD is so high.

Maybe I can avoid that tongue paralysis because maybe the attack is low. But he's taken enough hits that even just regular damage, he could be dead in a round with two hits. So it's really like even if things go well, they're just – as long as they're getting actions on their turn and full attacks, we're in a horrible situation. They usually do get actions on their turn though, right? Well, no, not if they're staggered or if they hold monsters you know, hold monsters, which obviously wouldn't work, I guess. That's my direction. Or paralyzed, which would suck.

I would hate for anyone to have to go through something that's stupid. Yeah. What are the PC abilities, the PC classes and abilities that are just a straight up paralyzed? Just like paralyze the monsters. Hold monster? Hold monster, I guess guess yeah effectively a paralyzed which but it never works never works because there's a save involved all right and i only roll 16 or higher right and monster saves are you know through the roof but uh yeah i don't know

it's i've uh i've come to terms with it and uh and i'm all right with it i'm just gonna i'm sort of curious right now if we can all survive. And I don't think that's possible. And if it does, if it doesn't happen, who does survive? You know, that's what I'm really curious about. I've done enough statistical analysis now through five plus books to come to

the conclusion that Troy's enormous effort at smoke and mirrors about me cheating on my die rolls is all just to hide his lying about his yeah you call him fudging yeah he's just trying to draw attention away from his fudged rolls on all of his attacks and saves recently you got me burger you son of a bitch wait a minute wait a minute i just wanted to just for the record uh you are accusing him of fudging all of the roles right right? Mostly against. All of his attacks. Mostly against you. It has to be. It has to be.

These numbers are so high. I think his friendship with you is just cover to slowly torture your character because he hates you. This blue dye, I mean, I almost want to just trade with you for an app because it just, but it would be ruined in your hands. I bought this at PAX East 100 years ago, and it just but it would be ruined in your hands it it i bought this at pax east 100 years ago and it it just rolls rocks and i mean you don't even roll neon green anymore you've you know i've retired neon green yeah i i can't i don't have a good tray for it i don't have a good tray for it let me see how it does here 93 not bad i mean maybe I should just go. Maybe I'll just go neon green in this little tray for this episode, since this could very well be the app that's.

Oh, that's interesting. I like it. That's what I'm going to do. This is neon green is back. Neon green is back! It's so weird. I actually want it now. His name is John Cena.

Can't see green. Has any other die claimed a character? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. John Cena. Ba-ba-da-ba! Ba-ba-da-ba! Kip Seagreen. Has any other die claimed a character? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I've lost count of Matthew's character. Matthew just slowly turns his face to our side of the room and just shakes his head.

You know what would be funny is like if a D20 kills a character, or if you kill yourself because you fail a critical save. Frame it. You should write it on the die. Oh, yeah. Retire it. Yeah, we should have like a little museum. Oh, that would be so fun. Oh, that's a great idea.

But you would never retire Neon Green just because it killed Dalgrith. I know. If I didn't have such an attachment to it. If it killed Baron, you should maybe retire. Oh, yeah. Oh, that one's going to be framed. He's got one saying to my house. If Neon Green kills Baron, he's going to crush it up into a fine powder and snort it.

In the moment. Spit a 20 back out. I volunteer to administer it to you as a suppository. Bend over, you piece of shit. Grant, Baron looks to be in the best shape of anyone here. But man, I don't want to make you feel bad, but do you think you should have just unloaded a clip? I said it towards the end of last week.

No, I mean, that's all hindsight. It wouldn't have made a ton of difference at this point. No. Right now, I mean. Everyone would be in the same position. There would have been more damage on that creature. I feel good. I wanted to start buffing other people more, i i made a a decision in leveling up to eighth level inquisitor

and some of the spell choices i made to be able to help dalgris out and be more effective in battle and i did that so i i don't regret that that's a conscious decision i've made for a long period of time i personally think it's huge i think it's huge um but those two points of ac in this situation uh i don't know it just feels to me like if it makes the difference between you know rolling a 12 or rolling a 14 needing a 12 or needing a 14 to hit i think that's a big difference yeah i think it's i think it could be very helpful to you particularly without the giant uh defensive bonus coming in with these creatures whatever weird reason brutal brutal that they don't have the giant subtype yeah it's just it's dumb it's dumb because they they used to be giants but they

don't have the subtype they might be giants they might be they might be they might be but now they've lost that in death they've lost the subtype uh well i think we should just go into this i know you don't believe me but i really don't want to kill any of you i believe you least of all nester um not yet is it because you're afraid of what the fans will do to you if you do no no i'm not afraid of that it's just you guys are my friends i don't want to make you sad you've done that countless times well now we, now we're closer. So, yeah, I really don't want, but let's see if the dice have different plans. The dice do what the dice do.

When you make plans, God laughs. We're making plans. Let's see if the dice laugh. All right. God's just playing his harp. He's just sitting up there playing his harp. Playing some harp jams. Top of round two.

It is Baron Red Peak. That's not either of them. Gold Peak. Baron's going to go ahead and call it out now i'm calling out multiple criticals oh let me get the sheet ready calling his shot calling my shots the little sick boy out there he's doing it all for him that's what i saw nestor get paralyzed i thought i was in like a make-a-wish situation i'm ready to try to grant you your wish. Oh, that's all I want. And originally, Baron was going to target the legs of one of these creatures to knock them prone, but that actually, I think the damage is the most efficacious route from here on out,

because knocking the giant prone that Dalgrith is on would actually make him more difficult to hit from melee attacks, and Nestor's in rough shape either way, so he is going to do a full round attack action on Northie. Okay. They're not taking any bonuses to their AC or anything. They're huge, and Nestor is but a small little thing in one of their clutches. Insignificant, I think, is the word you're looking for. I didn't want to say that. Swift action undead Bane against...

Oh, yeah. Here comes the... Out of the box. Whoa, it flew out of there. It's excited to be here. Okay, that is definitely a hit. That is going to be a 31 to hit. Against Touch?

Yeah. Goddamn it, Troy. That's a hit. It's been four years. 34 points of damage. Hell of a good start. Second attack. Come on, baby.

Give me that crit. You need that crit so bad. You need that crit, dude. Need it four times. Okay, that is a 25 against touch. That is a hit. That is going to be... 28 points of damage.

Okay. And you're giving yourself the Bane, right? Yep. Bane goes to... Critical threat! 19, 19, 19! Oh, I get it! 19, 19!

You got it, he did it. Critical threat! Critical! Critical! Critical! That is going to be a 17 to confirm. That is confirmed. Yes!

Oh my god! Yes! He immediately falls down and knocks into his friend who drops our friend. That's what the critical is. Friend drop. Friend drop. Oops. Fred drop.

Fred drop. Oops. All right. I am picking this one because I just saw its title, and it's too good. It's just too good. The title is Gift from God. So I had to grab it. I'm here for you, Slugger.

It's from Henry in Ottawa, Ontario. Gift from God. Oh, my God. It is a... We've got a crossover crit. This is a crossover crit. Is this a reference to Mae Shun's last name? No. No.

Okay. That's what Bonium is. Here's the description. This is hilarious, especially because it's Baron. You catch Dax's laser rifle that slid off of one of the islands of the Broken Lands. I hate this. Your attack roll stays the same, but instead of using your weapon, it is switched to a laser rifle. The base damage of the laser rifle is 2d10.

Double damage, and the target catches fire for a number of rounds unless they pass a reflex save. The laser rifle asks for one more round then disappears back into Dax's hand. All right, so we'll say for the reality of the show that it just, you, one of these bullets had a little extra juice in it and it comes out at three times its normal speed and hits this thing and shatters a bone.

It's 2D10 quadrupled. I mean, it's 2D10 quadrupled. Here it comes out at three times its normal speed and hits this thing and shatters a bone. It's 2D10 quadrupled. I mean, it's... 2D10 quadrupled. Here it comes. That's a lot of damage. A lot of damage. Okay, I have the base bonus to add on top of it. Now let me get...

That's insane. You needed a gift from God. This is it. This is the gift from God. When is it. This is a gift from God. When there was only one set of footprints, that was when I was carrying you. Ah! 120 points.

120 points of damage. I mean, it's 1810 base. With the bane, with the bane. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, that is a gift from God. I can't believe you actually rolled a crypt. Still standing. Okay.

My goodness. One more attack, right? Yeah, here comes the final attack. At my lowest base bonus, here comes... Don't misfire. Okay, that will be a 21 to hit. Hit, and it's dead. Yes!

Amazing. Wow. Wait, was that northy or Southy? That was Southy You were shooting at Southy right? The one holding Nestor? Or no? No I claimed Northy at the beginning Northy? I would lie now but I was shooting at Northy

Okay Well he's definitely dead Because I was thinking that Southie was going to drop Nestor And move on at a certain point You didn't think he was just going to coup de grace You didn't think he was going to coup de grace Nestor Well you can't with paralysis right Because you're not truly helpless even though you can't move

Well that That's Starfinder That's Starfinder not Pathfinder I don't know if it applies to the Pathfinder too Can I change it to Southie? I would love to, but I said earlier in the recording that it was Northie before I started my attack. Yeah, I mean, neither of them had been hit, so I really don't care. All right, let's do Southie.

Let's get Nestor free and leave Dalgrith to die. Okay. I think you should have done Northie. Really? I can't believe you didn have done Northy Really? I can't believe you didn't do Northy Alright then The one that was holding Nestor Releases Nestor and Nestor falls To the ground

That saves Nestor's life That's why I assumed you'd do it Because yes, he can Kudagras while paralyzed Thinking that and Baron This is another thing Skid was saying About Nestor being able to play this game better than he would. I think Baron at this point would also have been able to realize the situation. Yeah. And Baron knows that Dalgrith's got the other one under control.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Nothing to worry about there. And also, let's give Grant some credit here and as well as a little kind of degree of difficulty for still just being days removed from major surgery and showing up here anyway. Was that your rolling arm, by

the way? No, it wasn't. It was my non-dominant arm. That's why. It's got its own plates and screws. It's more machine now than men. Twisted and evil. We can rebuild him. So when they asked me if it was my dominant arm or not, I felt good the first time, right?

Because they're like checking. They're like, oh, that's good. You'll heal easier. It won't affect you as much. And then they drew on my arm to make sure they did the surgery on the right arm. But the number of times people double checked to make sure it was that arm, it was both assuring and un-reassuring. It's like you don't know for sure yet.

You are the tenth person to ask me this. This is the arm you need to operate on, not this one, okay? Anyway. Well, a momentary reprieve here as that morgue falls. But are you out of the woods yet? I don't know. Dalgrith, you are up. All right.

Dalgrith is going to just stab this thing's tongue over and over and over and over and just try to cut its tongue off of its face. All right. Shivit. Tongue cut. This is a vexing dodger ability. Exceptional. Exceptional ability. Okay.

Here we go. First attack. I'm assuming the creature is evil. Like the fruits of the devil. Yes, they are. Alright. Then in that case that is a 30 to hit. 30 to hit

is a hit. Okay. Thank God. Great. Thanks God. He'll do 12 points of damage. 12 points of damage. And then again that is a hit. Much higher 12 points of damage. And then, again, that is a hit. Much higher than the last one. And that is 15 points of damage. Okay.

Third attack is a 26. Yeah, 26 to hit. That's a miss. That's a miss. And last attack. He's using haste, by the way. Oh's a miss. That's a miss. And last attack. He's using haste, by the way. Oh, that's the wrong die. Last attack.

Need a high roll here. Is a miss. Is a miss. Okay, and they take no penalties to their AC for you on them? No. No, I don't believe so. I don't think so. Okay.

You need like a cheat sheet for your character. Yeah. It's too many additions and subtractions. Yeah, no, I don't think you take a penalty. Okay. All right, so you got two minutes. I can give you penalties to your AC if I deal sneak attack damage to you with like a befuddling strike thing I have. But like, I think I have to deal that sneak attack damage first.

Well, you are able to lay out 27 points of damage in that round. And it is Metra's turn. Okay. This is a bit of a different situation than we were in just a few minutes ago. It's a very interesting situation! Very interesting situation!

Okay. I am going to cast Disintegrate on the There you go Okay, you have Line of Sight Stunting any clouds or anything, sure 24 against touch 24 against touch is a hit Alright, now roll your Fortitude save

Roll my Fortitude save I was just mocking you, not but two episodes ago That Disintegrate against Wall of Forest Was the only time you ever usefully used the spell. Here comes the save. Oh, wait. I said I would use my neon green for all. Fail. Fail.

17. That's a fail. Yes! Disintegrate! Disintegrate this huge morgue. Let me just make sure I have my number of dice right here. That's 2d6 points of damage per caster level. And no max?

40d6 is the max. So you're at 30? Yeah. 30d6. I just want to make sure there's no adjustment for being undead. I want you to roll each of those dice individually. I don't think there's no adjustment for being undead i want you to roll each of those dice individually i don't think there's an well i think it would be the same adjustment as if it's an object it's because that's essentially what you're doing i don't think yeah there's no adjustment

yeah yeah i don't see anything it's just as uh for to save it's only 5d6 this is a very old spell this goes right back to first edition adnd uh let me acquire my my d6s and if a very old spell. This goes right back to first edition AD&D. Let me acquire my d6s and if you really want me to roll them individually. No, no, don't. Are you kidding me? Please don't. Please don't. Can you reduce it to zero and leave it

as a trace of fine dust on the floor? Oh my god, he's tapping d6 30 times. That's only 102 points. Wow! Phenomenal! Still up. Okay.

Wow, that must have looked spectacular, though. Junks of bone just fly. I imagine she points her finger and this very thin ray of light just streaks across the room and then just parts of its bones

just start to disintegrate. It's like you get instant osteoporosis. It's like in Indiana Jones. Yeah, just like huge sections of it just like blast away into dust. Dobgoth, you feel its shape starting to hunch over as some of it falls apart. Metro, do you want to move at all?

No, I'll stay where I am. Okay. Nestor, what are you thinking? Still paralyzed. I'm thinking about, I've spent a lot of time thinking about the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms since last week.

Because if anyone, if you're outside the country, it is the most ridiculous thing. It's just the collection of three random, it's like the Bureau of Bookshelves, Dolphins, and Peppermint. It's three just random things. But there's a movie called Lord of War, where...

Isn't that Nicolas Cage? Yeah, Nicolas Cage plays an international arms dealer, and this guy shows up at his apartment, he knocks on the door, he's just like, hi, I'm Agent Johnson from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms. He's this big weapons dude. He's just like, let me guess.

Is it about alcohol or tobacco? That's what Nestor's thinking about. No, Nestor is still just like he sees the one go down. And he's just like, please, you fuckers, Lord, take this. He's so close. He's so close. And and uh yeah he's lying on the ground now like i'm gonna drop from its grip and so he's just like come on come on one more one more big one come on well it is the one more big one's turn and uh he is going to neon green oliver dalgryth no. What is my penalty to roll now since we have been doing this pseudo-incorrectly?

I mean, incorrectly, right? Do you think it's had any major effects on it? No, not at all. It's effectively the same thing, except there might have been very specific situations where it would have been different. I don't know. Essentially, my ability when I'm on top of you gives you a penalty to your attack

rolls. I always just thought of it as an effective increase to my AC for the purpose of battle. They would have said that if that's what they meant! No, I know, but I'm saying over time it evolved in my head to where it just was a bonus to AC, and I forgot that it's actually... It's just easier. Yeah, it's just easier for everybody and faster for the show. Well, and you're a vexing dodger. It's like in the name of the archetype makes it seem like you're the one doing the dodging. Right. And you're AC better.

So I'm sure that there's good reasons to not have it be an AC bonus for other mechanics that I'm not thinking of. But go ahead. And you have a minus eight penalty to all your attacks. Minus eight penalty. Okay. That's easy enough to remember. Your first attack with a slam is going to be a 23. Miss. Okay.

Second, slam. This is neon green, by the way. You said minus eight? Yeah. Okay. That is going to be a 29. Hit. Oh, no.

Even with the plus two? Hit exactly. Okay, right. Because eight and seven is 27. 29 is a hit. Okay. Here comes the... So you would have rolled a 37 Essentially, if I hadn't

Correct Alright, so that is going to be Damage galore 16 22 45 points of damage I think you got one of those last week 45 points of damage, and now the free grab

Which will also take a minus 8 penalty Correct Even though it gets a plus 4 because of the grab ability so it's an effective minus 4. Effective minus 4. Okay. Here we go. Neon green. Natural 20.

My CMD is 40. Natural 20. My CMD is 40. Alright, that's it. CMD is 40 Neon green Is back I mean

It giveth and taketh away Because you did fail that disintegrate roll This is true It was just warming it up for this 20 Go ahead and give yourself the grappled condition Vexing dodger Um You are grabbed here comes the tongue

if I had crit on the tongue you would have been double paralyzed here we go minus eight minus eight ten to hit but yeah yeah, no, sorry. So no tongue on you, but you are grabbed by this thing. So stupid. Natural.

Goddamn, 20. Dalgith, go ahead and roll a perception check for me. Come on, Dalgi. Oh, there's something down the hallway. There's something coming. Something coming down the hallway, Mitra! Leave, Nestor! Get out while you can!

That is a 26. But wait for me! 26th, I will reveal a little bit more of this hallway stretching to the east. Oh, no. You do hear sounds coming your way. Oh, no. You do hear sounds coming your way. Oh, come on.

Metra's coming! Metra's coming! It's coming, Grant! Round three, Baron. So Baron now has two options. He has the option to end the morgue's life pretty easily after that sweet disintegrate or to use a move action to pull out a scroll of

remove paralysis and free up Nestor. I'm thinking with the extra enemies coming it might be the best option to free up Nestor at this point. Five. Four. With three. That's it. That's my jaw, Brian. Out of the breast pocket of his duster will pull

out a scroll of remove paralysis move action and will standard action use the somatic and verbal components to automatically cast what is a part of the inquisitor spell list remove paralysis on nester coin amazing i don't even think you use components when you're casting from a spell right they're in the They're in the, they're in the, it comes in a little packet. It was a little baggy, right?

Just a little dime bag stapled to the paper. It actually says that for some of the stuff, like the diamond dust that you need for resurrection. Like it says it's a little packet, like it's contained in the ink or something. No, no. It's like,

they literally say it's like a little packet full of diamond dust. It's like stapled to the text of the scroll. That's amazing. So that works. That's just done. He is, you don't need to touch him. It's within range, right? It is close, 25 feet plus five feet of two levels.

And it works on multiple targets too. Up to four creatures. Yeah. Okay. Can you like put that on as like a pre-coat if someone gets paralyzed? I'd like to just put remove paralysis on Medra just in case. All right, so Nestor, you are no longer paralyzed. You are just prone on the ground.

You see the giant morgue laying next to you, but there is some business coming from the eastern corridor to the north. It is Dalgwith's turn. Come on, Dalgwith. If there ever was a moment to bring the death. Yep. I'm getting danger close now. After this round, I've got one round of haste left,

and I'm done for the day. Forever. Forever. Please reflect. It's been a day. It has been. I mean, this started With the jump to the tower Teleport to the tower

It's been a non-stop combat The entire time I mean, we talked to God in the middle of it Oh that's right, that's right We did talk to God, but we never rested Yeah, it's been so many encounters We started this day at Menderhall's Cathedral What was the summoned creature?

The illusion? Sir Darlene Sir Darlene, like that was all the same day That was this morning That was this morning We met Sir Darlene and God in the same day That was like an hour ago, that's right This is insanity

Okay Just putting the pieces together here Do you have a... Troy, do me me a favor go ahead and throw grapple On your sheet there Alright here we go First attack for Dalgrith is a hit At 31 it was a natural 20

And slow roll Over to a 14 It really did That split second Okay that's gonna be to a 14. It just kind of leaned back. It really did. I was like, that split second. That's going to be 11 points of damage. Okay, not great. Not great without the sneak attack.

Critical threat. 19. You are a named character. Critical threat. Come on, come on, come on, buddy. God damn it! 23. No. Was it a 20 or no? Critical threat. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, buddy. God damn it! 23.

No. Well, it's still a hit. Was it a 20 or no? It was a 23. No, I mean, was it, did you roll a 20 as exploding dice? No, I rolled a 19. That's going to be 11, sorry, 12, 12 points of damage. Okay, still standing.

Still standing. Third attack. This is when it gets really hard to hit. Miss. Fourth attack. Miss is when it gets really hard to hit. Miss. Fourth attack. Miss. Okay. Yikes.

I was really hoping that maybe the disintegrate just left it with a couple H-pizzle. I know. I can take it down. Metro, you heard Dalgritia. There's something coming! There's something coming! There's more of them! Get ready! Yeah, I mean, this guy, he has to be

pretty close to death after that disintegrate. I could do a blood reader if he was alive, but he's not. If he had blood. Okay. Tough one, huh? Well, I'm just deciding what spell to use on you. Yeah. It's worth wasting a higher level spell do some mind affecting yeah i think i want to get mind affecting yeah on lethal yes question them yeah you're doing something that'll make

nausea in our knowledge roll Did we Don't you dare fatigue me Did we learn anything about their relationship to fire damage They love it He said they have a Baron specifically asked if there's any type of Stuff like that No they should be able to take full fire

Okay great let's do some scorching rays Oh classic Do they have to hit Don't forget to take minus four. Oh, right. Ranged. But it still gets touched. Natty 19.

Is that okay with you? That's pretty good. Okay. So, if it matters, that's a 31 to hit. Minus four, 27. But it's ranged touch, right? It's ranged touch. Okay. So, that is going to be three rays.

I have to do a ranged touch attack for each, so first ray is just going to be just a measly 4d6. Wow, that's good. It's pretty good. 15 points of fire damage. Still up. Alright. Oh, okay. Next ray. Dalgrith couldn't have finished him off, probably.

Natty's 16. Nice. That's a hit. Yep. So that's another 40. His touch AC is lowered because he's grappling Dalgreath. He's a giant. I'll take credit for that.

That's another 15 points of fire damage. I let him grapple me. Still up. Don't roll a natural one. Okay. Third ray. 18 against touch. That is a hit and he natural one. Okay. Third ray. 18 against touch. That is a hit, and he's dead.

Okay. Yeah! Five hit points left. Gosh. Boom. Boom. He goes. Dalgrit lands deftly on his feet.

You could theoretically roll four ones. That's right. See if you roll four ones. See if you roll four ones. I'm going to roll real dice this time. Yeah, roll real dice. You roll four once. That's right. See if you roll four once. See if you roll four once. I'm going to roll real dice this game. Yeah, roll real dice. Yeah. I forgot about that.

I was like, there's no way he can roll. It's fine. He's dead. He's dead. We found out, though. I wouldn't be able to sleep. Okay, and then Metro rolls. You would have been driving home.

And it's been like, oh my god. 4-1. I said he had five hip boys. 4-1! 4-1! All of the road. Woo-woo!

Sir, have you had something to drink today? No, no. 4-1! 4-1! Step out of the car. There was no bonus to the...

There was no bonus to Scorching Ray. Sir, you drink of whiskey. That's a separate problem. Unrelated. Metro, what do you want to do? Do you want to move at all? She's going to move 30 feet straight

back into the room up towards the northern corridor. Uh-huh. But I can't get that far because I can only move 30 feet. That's as far as you can go. Yep. It's too bad with your vision you'd be able to see so much. So much. No, you can't. No, you just can't. Well, it would have been nice

if Dalgrith could have killed the creature, but, uh, you know. Yeah. Yeah. I apologize. I apologize. Okey-dokes.

Well, let me just check the movement speed here. Oh, boy. Oh, nilly! Here comes the cavalry. Um, Dal. Oh, nilly! Here comes the cavalry. Dalgrith, you will see, emerging from just the edge of your

vision, another morgue. Oh, come on with this. It had to be a morgue, huh? Had to be a morgue. Another big old morgue come flying up. It had to be a morgue, huh? Had to be a morgue. Another big old morgue come flying up.

It's headless. Headless morgue. Headless morgue. Its head is cut off by fog of war. So it literally looks like it's running headless down the hallway. There you go. I mean, I object. If it can't fit into the squares in this hallway, then it must be squeezing. This map is a mess.

This whole map is out of order. this whole map is out of order uh no he will come flying up the hallway there um and change in here oh boy yeah that is going to be what he does and it is nestor's turn all right nestor's and like he immediately like the second that he knows he can move like he jumps up he pops up and he moves over to a gap in the boxes uh spends a move action to get up and a move action to get some little distance here and he hears the morgues the creatures come from the other hallway and he gets set up to fire at the minute. He can see he's like, yeah, now he's just like, he's pissed. He's just like, I'm going to take my vengeance on something.

Something's going to get killed. Nestor is no longer paralyzed, no longer prone. Takes his turn to stand up. First move action, second move action, goes back. Dalgrith, from where you're standing, all you know is that guy's not alone. There's more of them. I can see one, but I hear more coming.

And I'm really hurt. And it's Baron's turn. Baron is going to move 25 feet back towards Dalgrith and will reach out and cast Cure Moderate Wounds on Dalgrith. Beautiful. That's nice. That's very kind of you. Thanks, GB.

Cure. That is 18 points of healing. 18 points of healing. Thank you. This is chess right now. It is Dalgrith's turn. You see that creature, and you are currently 55 feet away, or 50 feet away from its foot. 50 feet away from its foot.

All right. Dalgrith is going to oh boy um dalgrith is going to oh my god we all thought nester was the one that was going to go down is it dalgrith this is bad yeah uh this is such a weird situation. Alright. Do you have any potions or anything? Yeah, but I've got two swords in my hands. Oh, right. Everything is so hard. Everything is so goddamn hard. It has to be such a

fucking struggle to just do the most simple things. Alright. Dalgrith is going to drop a sword. Oh, no. Draw a potion. Take, take, take. And somebody does this.

He'll then have to pick it up. Zephyr Hall was built on an angle, so it slides down the hall right out the door. No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, it's banking to make a turn, and it just slides down the other side of the room.

Yeah, just at that moment. A priceless artifact. Oh, God. They're sitting there at the church. Oh, God. They're sitting there at the church. God, thankfully, none of the babies got hurt. She's not going to hurt her baby. Oh, God. Clearly, God is benevolent.

Oh, no. Is that a magical short sword? Our village is saved. The baby only had two hit points. So he's going to drop a sword. Tink, tink, tink. And not do haste and draw a potion and drink, chug a potion of Cure Serious Wounds. Okay.

Okay. Okay. All right. It is Metra's turn. Metra in the sky with diamonds uh metra is going to cast a little spell called wall of stone good timing perfect timing for it so i can cast this... It is one inch thick per four levels of castor level. Yeah, it is. Three inches thick and up to a five foot square per level.

Can't even deal with you right now. Yeah, it is. One inch thick is so unimpressive. Yeah, it is. All right, three inches thick. You put a three inch thick wall up. It's actually going to be a one-and-a-half-inch thick wall because I want to get more squares out of it. Because these things are 18 feet tall, right?

Uh-huh. So that would only be, I can only do, you know, 15 five-foot squares. Give me a minute to do the math. Right. And the ceiling is 50 feet high and they're 18 feet tall right so it's a foot and a half thick an inch and a half thick

inch an inch and a half thick because you can have you can double the number of cubes by having the thickness okay so they can just barrel right through it right it's stone it's stone okay an inch and a half thick uh that's not drywall and they have a strength of they have a strength of 37 i mean they can beat on it if you

want it's got it that's all it has hardness and hit so you just have to do a strength check yeah yeah yeah um i am going to uh leave a i'm a crudely a crudely shaped little arrow slot in it so Nestor and or Baron could fire through. And yeah, I should get 30 squares so I can get 50 feet tall. You can go 50 feet tall. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, so they're 18 feet tall. You don't want to go like 10 feet up because they can just reach over and hit.

But you can form it in any shape you want in order to leave that hole. I can crudely form it into shapes. Like you can make crenellation or you can do... So I figured leaving a hole... I think it's cool. Really cool. Inch and a half thick. So what is its hardness and hit points?

Okay. If the creature tries to break through the wall with a single attack, the DC for the strength check is not that high. 20 plus 2 per inch of square of thickness. That's high. That's really high. Well, it's only 1.5 inches thick. So it's 21.5 is the DC. Yeah, but that's a strength.

23. 23 is the DC. Plus? Two times each inch. Two. 20 plus two per inch of thickness. And this is one and a half inches. That's right.

Three inches. So, yeah. I mean, you could. 20. I mean, that could be like a 50-50, right? 20. I can't do the math right now, but what's a 37? Is it like a plus 10?

I tip my hat by telling you. I have a plus 13. Oh, plus 13. So, yeah. 50-50. That's not bad. Yeah, that's not bad. If you get around. If you get around. Yeah, buy 13. So yeah, 50-50. That's not bad. Yeah, that's not bad. If you get a round, if you get a round to get it off these attacks.

Yeah, buys us a round, yeah. Yep. Okay. And based on where you placed the wall, which is where I would have placed it, I think this guy would have to take a move action and not just a five-foot step to hit it. Yeah, so that's going to be his whole turn, even if he is successful. Right. So he buys us a round to marshal our resources and allow Dalgrith to pick up the sword.

Well, and Baronon's gonna say to dalgrith dalgrith i got more healing in my pocket and he's referencing the nine cure moderate wound scrolls he's been hoarding he also has three cure uh serious so i can use one of those on you in battle yeah i'll take cure serious what is the bonus on a cure serious scroll for caster level five plus five okay i just did it and i rolled well i rolled two sixes and a seven okay so those Yeah, I'll take Cure Sirius. What is the bonus on a Cure Sirius scroll for caster level? Plus five. Plus five, okay. Yeah, I just did it, and I rolled well. I rolled two sixes and a seven.

So that potion was... So that extra round I'm going to use to try to get Dalgrith back up into fighting shape. All right. It is the first Mgue's turn here. He is going to move up. Chaw, chaw, chaw, chaw. And attempt a strength check to break down the wall. Neon green.

Neon green. Neon green. Preview of coming attractions. After his turn, it's Nestor's turn. After Nestor's turn, it's his buddy's turn. Neon green. Neon green's back. Plus 13.

DC 26. Gotta roll off 13 or higher. 23. 23. You got 10 or higher. 23? Mm-hmm. So you're looking for double digis.

Double digis. Here we go. Give us a sing. Natty 15. Here we go. Give us a sing. Natty, 15. Okay. He destroys the wall. It's got to look so epic. Like the wall goes up.

Shatters out. But that is his turn, which is huge, because he could have easily got up this round and got an attack off on either Dalgrith or Baron. What is Wall of Stone? What level? It is a fifth level spell. Fourth level if you're a summoner.

Sixth if you're a druid or a shaman. Shaman? Shaman. Don't squeeze the shaman. Wait a minute. Did you not read the last sentence of the spell? No. I forgot about my... I believe this is the Robe of Arcane Heritage.

Oh, that you cast it as a higher level. I cast it as 16th level. So that would have meant this was a 2-inch thick wall. Which means that the DC would have been... It still made it. 24, you still make it? With a 9.15. Yeah, I rolled a 28.

You're fine. Okay, you're fine. I'm glad though, because again, I would have been driving erratically home. For one. Whatever it's called. All right.

It is Nestor's turn. Okay. Nestor, like he gets a glimpse of this thing as it shatters the stone wall and he takes a five foot step up to be right next to baron now baron dalgreath and nestor are all in the line oh just waiting for these things to descend line of sight here for a full attack that's right there's a five foot step and you uh have plenty of uh sight of creature. And he pulls back on old Jolter. The blue electricity sizzling along its length.

With two arrows knocked, and he fires off the first mini-shot. Oh, that is a 42 to hit. Oh, baby. That is a hit. Imagine what this looks like. These creatures take up the entire width of the hallway as they're coming down

here. And so Nestor peeks down there and is able to get a shot off. And that first shot, that's 54 points of damage on the first attack. Huge, huge. You don't want these things coming near you. Oh, second is a natty 18. That is a hit. Natty 18, yep. Sure that is.

20 more points of damage. Okay. And third attack. 23. I think that's a miss, probably. That is a miss. And final attack is also a miss.

Also a miss. Two big hits, though, do over 60 points of damage. From the back, behind him, Dalgrith, you can see another morgue come rolling into place. Let's see how far I can go. Can you hear me in the back? I would make an argument.

Oh! That those squares that he just broke through are not difficult terrain. I don't think that's necessarily in the rules, but I would make the argument it was a 50-foot stone wall that came crashing down. I wouldn't make that argument. I thought you wouldn't. That's a lot of stone. I personally, I just wouldn't make that argument.

But the argument I will make is that my guy can move up to here. The argument I would make is, you're right. It is difficult terrain for you for you but for a giant of this size actually these uh these creatures these non-giants um have no they could uh it even says this giant non-giant yeah it even says in the description 16 foot tall non-giants they can acrobat over medium creatures with ease. Yeah. So, I'm sure debris of rock, an inch-and-a-half-thick wall of rock. 50-foot-tall.

80-foot-tall. 80-foot-tall. Yeah. Stip. They cartwheel right over. Yeah, because medium creatures are typically 70 or so feet tall. Right. All right, now even...

He shattered that entire wall. It's not like he, like, opened a door. He's actually pretty tall! Uh, he is, uh, not within range of anyone after moving his full comp. Um, so he is going to double move and get right next to all three of you. Mm. Double move and get right next to all three of you.

So he's like directly next to Dalgrith, Baron, and Nestor. He takes up all three spaces in front of them and six spaces behind himself. It is now the top of the next round and it is Baron's turn. Baron cannot move anywhere without provoking. What are you doing? Baron will take a full round attack action to target the creature's legs. Nice. All right. The first one will provoke.

I will resolve that. Keep your roll. Okay. Let me turn off rapid shot because this is to get an accurate read. I think it's definitely a hit, but I just want to keep myself honest. The thing is, should I provoke with my tongue or with the slam? I want to do the tongue so bad, but I know it won't hit. Okay, that will be a 24 against Touch AC.

Once again, I'll let you know after I'm done resolving my attack of opportunity. I don't care about your stupid little attack of opportunity. He can paralyze you is the point. For S's and G's, I'm going to do the tongue. God damn it. I don't think it's going to hit. I thought the tongue couldn't come out until you grappled. I said that. Joe made that up.

I make things up. You know I make things up. But Joe sounded really convincing. He he really did it's my training uh all right here comes the tongue yes yes all right well i don't know he doesn't get the ac bonuses so it might 29 miss oh you'd never hit him? No, that was a bad roll. You rolled a 10. Oh, that's because it was minus 8. Right, right, right. Yeah. He doesn't have power attack on, so he had a better chance. 29, and he's still

missing. But luckily, you take that away. He cannot use the tongue anymore this round. Don't. Shut up. 28 points of damage, and he falls prone. 28 points of damage, and he falls prone. 28 points of damage, and he falls prone. Boom.

Amazing. And that's a full round action? Yeah, that is why I only attacked once. Okay. Targeting. Coming back. It hasn't been here in a while. Was I close with the tongue?

What's your AC against a non-giant with a tongue? Don't worry about it. Was I close with the tongue? What's your AC against a non-giant with a tongue? Don't worry about it. I don't know if I'm close. I don't want you to fudge your rolls. I don't fudge rolls. Now you know how I feel all the time, asshole. Go to hell.

There are people at home that want to know what your AC is against normal creatures. Don't try to out-psychologize an asshole. Little Johnny's sitting there listening and he's like, I wish I knew what his AC was. And then a magical short sword came through his house and stabbed him in the face. And he'll never know. He'll never know. So if you can sleep at night with that,

Grant, good for you. It's Dalgert's turn. I can't sleep at night because of the pain in my throat. But, you know, I'll try. I don't sleep. Short sword fall from the sky while you're on a bike. Oh, God! What is this? Dalgrith, you're up. What do you want?

What do you want to do? Prune Morg in front of you. You're going to end up in the Morg. Am I right? Am I right? Oh, actually, he should be easier to hit, right? It's a minus to me. Yeah, he's easier to hit.

So easy. Yeah. Not sure what to do. So easy. Yeah. Not sure what to do here. Bonus against ranged attacks. This is a very weird situation, so I'm just going to act quickly here. And I'm going to pick up my sword and I'm going to jump on the creature. All right. While he jump on the creature Hmm Alright

While he's on the ground Start kissing him Right on his belly Yeah That's what I'm gonna do I'm just gonna like Get on top of him And just like

You know As if I'm gonna start stabbing him But Okay Ends up being Dalgrith Kissbringer Kissbringer Okay them but okay uh ends up being dalgryth kiss bringer uh okay so you have the prone condition on uh i don't because it's conditional uh but i'll throw it on it's conditional yeah because

you get a bonus uh a plus four against range attacks and a minus four against melee um but i'll put it on to for the purposes of cmd gotcha it changed it not at all so let me see okay uh yeah yeah so maybe it doesn't change it i don't know might be might be close this one is uh you told me it was close before from what i remember it's a 44 that is it's cmd okay, you're on it. I'm on it. You're on it. I'm on it. You're on it, you're on it. I'm on it! And that's your round? Because you picked up the sword,

and then you moved. Yeah, and then standard action to climb on him. Climbed up on this prone giant. Hoo boy! Keep it moving here. It is Metra's turn. Okay. Um... We're not out of the woods yet. No, we're not.

99. 99. Just practice it. Getting loose. 98. Okay. Metra is going to step closer to the wall of tiny barrels that concealed these huge creatures. Mm-hmm.

And cast a spell. Okay. And everything seems to be fine. So you begin casting a spell? I finish casting a spell. Cast. Done. You cast it. It's over. It's out of your hands.

I mean, if your character wanted to roll a perception check, I might be able to describe certain things they might notice happening. He's got a pretty good perception, but no, he doesn't want to do that. It is the one in the back's turn. This guy in the back is going to slide up, and he's going to attack Dalgrith. Except not so much. Excuse me? Excuse me?

Excuse me? You don't talk to me like that. All right, well, if it pleased the court, your honor, not so much. Approach the throne. When he steps into the square, I'm pinging on the map right now, right at the edge of the hallway at the northeast. Uh-huh. He finds that that area has had its gravity reversed.

Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Pardon me? Yes. And how high did you say the ceiling was? 80 feet! 19 feet. About six inches above his head.

So he falls 80 feet upwards. No's the ceilings are 50 feet high all right he's 18 feet tall so he falls 30 feet to the ceiling great and he's just falls to the ceiling yes no save no save that is insane seventh level no save no it's seventh level You do get a save When the spell ends To see if you can grab something and hold on What is this thing called?

Reverse gravity So wait what is the space of this? It's a 10 foot Cube per level Oh wow okay And I have 16 levels worth of cubes But it's only 50 feet high a 10-foot cube per level. Oh, wow. Okay. And I have 16 levels worth of cubes.

Wow. But it's only 50 feet high. Provided it has something to hold on to, a creature caught in the area can attempt to reflex save to secure itself when the spell strikes, which would be now. Okay. Do you have something to grab into in this hallway?

No. There was a stone wall there, but it's gone now. Yeah, the rubble was not difficult to raise. I grabbed some of the rubble. The rubble was so smooth and easy to cross. Yeah, I'm going to say I do not have it. Hoisted by his own baton.

And he handholds. Alright, it's only eight points of falling damage, but you're stuck up there. How long am I stuck up there? Sixteen rounds. Just stuck. I can't move? Can he walk out? No, no. You can stand up upside down and walk out of the area of effect and then fall back down.

To the ground. Wow. But that's your whole next round. And then you're in another round to stand up from prone on the other side. Right. Huge. Huge. Huge. Nice job, Matthew. Bottle cap. The spell was good enough.

A successful spell. Yeah, it really is I think it really is no offense Matthew I really think it is kind of overkill to like just be so blown away by a seventh level spell you're like bottle cap it's like well what's the seventh level spell I mean I'm not advocating for my bottle cap I use it in a

situation it was a cool it was a perfect situational use of a very powerful spell. You were all in front of, you were all, he's prone, but that guy can still tongue you from the ground. You know who gets the bottle cap? Frog God Press. He wrote that spell. Isn't this a classic? Isn't reverse gravity a classic spell?

No, no. No, that's a classic spell. That's a classic spell. No, it's fine, though. I wish it was. You looked it up immediately. I did. And if I was like, this kid, there's no way. There's a classic spell. I wish it was. You looked it up immediately. I did. I was like, this kid, there's no way.

There's no way. No, Sam? Yeah. He's reading the Starfinder rulebook. Reverse gravity. Yeah, no, I would easily, I could even do a luck roll to see if, like, was there something to grab onto? But I know that this, where he's standing right now, there is nothing. Smooth wall.

So he just goes right up. All right, that was Metra's turn. Yikes. And it was Metra's turn. Yikes. And it is that giant's turn. So that morgue will step out of the range of it. Stand up. Stand up. Because he falls, right?

He was prone. So he stands up, steps out of it, and falls again. No. He moved into it. That's his move action. Right. He fell. Now his second move action is stand up. Just to stand up. And now he's upside down on the ceiling. Oh, wait. No. It was his move action. He fell. Now his second move action is to stand up.

And now he's upside down on the ceiling. Oh wait, no, it was his turn. So his second move action was to stand up. So now next round, he moves to step out, falls, stands up. And that's the end of his next round. It's a huge spell, right? Well, it should be for a 7th level spell.

It is Nestor's turn to try and take advantage of this. Okay, Nestor is actually going to move away from this prone creature right in front of him. To provoke or just to fire? No, no, hold on a second. Well, I would have to have combat reflexes. Oh, because you already used it. Oh, yeah. And so if it doesn't, you may be able to just do a full attack on the one on the ceiling.

Or on him. Yeah, but it's a minus four is all. Yeah, but I think Nestor can hit. He's a badass. Yeah, but not his first attack, but his later attacks are. It's a plus four to his AC against Nestor, right? Yeah. Which is dumb, obviously.

Literally, he cannot miss. He's standing right in front of an 18-foot crowd. This is one of these things. Like, there's so many rules in this dumb game. And it's like, some of them just, they're so misapplied in some of these situations. It's really a marvel that we've hitched our financial wagons to a game with so many dumb rules. You know, the funny thing is, if had that guy not stood up on the ceiling, he'd also get a plus four to his AC because he was prone on the ceiling. That's also incredibly ridiculous. good luck hitting me now yeah but in in the game's

defense it is not absolute it is very clear in the rules that it is not absolute it's just troy he is an absolute minded person right it's also a marvel that we've hitched our financial wagons to troy's absolute right someone that's really the source of the problem someone must be absolute here absolute zero uh what do you do all right so yeah i think god this is this is a tough one because i really do kind of want to get out of there for when this this thing stands up but i can do i can do a full attack now i think i'm just going to do a full attack on the guy on the ceiling okay on old old old ceiling on the ceiling uh that's a 31 to hit just hits okay high a sizzle. That's tough.

Yeah, 52 points of damage with the many shot. Yes! That's a good one. Second attack is also a hit. Okay. And 26 more points of damage. Amazing. Yeah, this is going to be tough.

That is a 31. That is a 31. That is a hit. Okay. All right. Good job. 24 more points of damage. Still up, literally. Here's the...

What's up? And final attack. Ooh, a 90-18. That is a 34. So that's another hit. Not only is that a hit, you kill it. Oh, yes! It just goes down to the ceiling.

Squat, squat, squat, squat. He stands up and then falls right back to the ceiling. He falls up and back out of the ceiling, yeah. And Nessar is just like his, like, he gets that gleam in his eye, like when he sees a big, meaty, well, bony target. Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom. Unbelievable. eye like when he sees a big meaty well bony target unbelievable you've killed three of these things one of them is laying at the ground

on the ground at your feet can you get rid of this last one it is its turn it is its turn it can attack prone sure minus four minus four just don't put on power attack. That's how I see it.

But who to attack? Algrith is all over it. It's right up in its face. He's screaming in its eyeballs. He's on it. He's on him. He's like, Who's he going to attack?

Nestor? Give me a break. I forgot you were on it. Neon green. First attack. Slam. Minus it. Neon green. First attack. Slam. Minus four. Plus minus eight.

So minus 12. Have a good time, GP. Minus 12. Okay. If you roll a natural 20, I'm smashing my computer into a million pieces. Wait, don't do the computer. It's a company computer. That's a company computer.

I really shouldn't smash it. Actually, I'm going to have to remove Steam and all your games from that computer. It's an IT thing, just to make sure it's only for business. We should budget that in. Yeah. Just knowing that Joe is going to destroy several computers over the course of the year. The course of the fiscal year. We can give a hand-me-downs to Matthew.

We budget this year for a broken computer. This one's a little slow. Don't worry about it. Don't worry. Be all right. Half the. Don't worry about it. Don't worry. Don't worry. All right. Half the keyboard doesn't work very well. Here comes the slam.

And a minus 12. Yeah, no. 21 to hit. No. Second attack. Just now. 24 to hit. No.

Yeah. And here comes the tongue. Uh-oh. Here's the one. Here's the natural 20. Natural two. Oh! Boom, boom, boom.

I love it. Miss, miss, miss. And he never got up. What a fool. Still prone. Yeah, I told you. Still prone. I wanted those three attacks because I wanted that 20. I wanted that 20!

Baron, you're up. Baron's going to stand and bang. He's just going to execute him. This is like Clint Eastwood at the end of Unforgiven. Yes. He's like, I was building a house. I don't deserve this. Deserves got nothing to do with it.

It's a 29 to hit on the first attack. I will take my attack of opportunity. I will do the tongue and a minus four. Go for it. Come on! Poop. How many points of damage? Well, I wanted you to resolve your attack first.

I did! I missed, all right! I missed! Even though I don't know what your AC is. 30 points of damage. Not bad. Second attack. Out of the box. How is this happening? That is going to be a 30 points of damage second attack out of the box how is this happening that is going to be a 32 to hit

32 is a hit wait a second against his prone touch hold on that will be 26 points of damage I said hold on yeah the third attack is going to be a 25 to hit.

31 points of damage. Okay. And the final attack. Still up. This is close. This is going to be 15 to hit against that AC. Plus 4 to his ranged AC while prone. Is it 15

touch? It's 11 touch. It's 11 touch. That's so funny. That is going to be 30 points of damage. Okay, you lit him up for a loss count. I'll see you in hell, Will Money.

He's still standing. It is Dugrith's turn. Dugrith, you're on top of him. He's not standing. He's still laying. He's still laying. Alright is Dogwrith's turn. Dogwrith, you're on top of him. He's not standing. He's still laying. He's still laying. All right. Dogwrith will attempt to hit him here. All right. First attack.

That's a 26 to hit. Miss. It's minus four to his AC. Oh, that's right. Then that is a hit. Yes. It's minus four to his AC. Oh, that's right. Then that is a hit. Yes, baby! Next year, not gone ranged. Switch to ranged.

14 points of damage. Not great. Has to say it every time. Has to say it every single time. Second attack. Natural one. We're all together having fun playing games. Natural one from Dalgrith.

Mop up duty here. Mop up. Can we just? And you just. All right. Let's go international edition. Stefan from Germany. Ah.

Good for me. With a smile. Your footing was off or your stance gave your movement away so your target could get one in two. You provoke an attack from your target that deals normal damage. With the successful fortitude save, you brace yourself for the inevitable and take no damage. All right. So go ahead and do an attack. Okay.

Oh, no. I kind of want to do the tongue. Yeah, I mean, I have a third attack, so you might as well try to get the paralyzation. I'm going to do the tongue. Minus four well do the Try to get the Paralysation I'm gonna do the tongue Minus four Paralysis Yeah Paralysation

Matthew I want you to walk over Oh get out of here With the natural 20 Every time Hang on let me put my mask on I want you to Hang on let me put my mask on Here you know what

I will just lift the box up And I will push it over towards you As you can see I've written a number on a paper. I've written a number. That appears to be a natural 20. That appears to be a natural 20. Oh, my God.

To confer. To confer. Of course. But you can take no damage. It doesn't deal any damage. It is like the perfect lineup of bullshit. It just, The stars aligning You take no damage

So it's not confirmed Doesn't really matter I need you to roll a fortitude save against Paralysis You got good fortitude right It's alright Spell or spell like ability no Is it a poison

It might be a poison Is it a poison spell or spelllike ability? No. Is it a poison? Poison? It might be a poison. Oh, yeah. Is it a poison spell or spell-like ability? It might be a poison. It might be a poison. It's a special attack. Let me see what it falls under on my John-ski.

Okay, I'll roll it. Let's see if it's a natural ticket. Check those John-skis. Let's see if it's a natural 20. Oh, I got you, LaValle. Oh, there you go. It's a 30. Natty, 18. Okay. Nice. And that means he gets a third attack.

Yes. So this is going to be a tough one. Oh, because if you didn't take damage. Right, right, right. Basically need a nat 20. Not miss. Miss. Hoo, hoo, hoo.

Metra, it is your turn. Can you finish this before it gets to go I mean I didn't think I was going to get to go again But let's I'm sorry I'm just going to call this Bonus time I'm sorry

Let's do a little magic missile Oh perfect spell Go for the golden goal bottle capottle cap. You know what? Bottle cap. I won't give it for reverse gravity. But your use of magic missile here. Right here to end this combat is so huge.

15 points of damage. Oh, he's still up. Oh, no. Still down. Still down. He's still down. Alright. But will he be after Nestor coin? Now Nestor's doing the will money. Deserves got nothing to do with it. Oh, God.

First attack, natural one. Oh, my God. Oh, come on. Oh, that's the many shot. Oh, that's the many shot. Broken bow. Your bow explodes. Slides down the mini shot. Broken bow. Your bow explodes. Slides down the nearest shaft.

Towards the moon door? Towards the moon door. If there's a moon door on your shaft. Wow, that's an oddly specific fumble. This fumble comes from Troy in New York? Right. And why does it look like it's being live typed into my spreadsheet? It's called Moonbow.

All right. This one is from Nadav in Rockville, Maryland. It is called Ow, My Friggin' Ears. Your attack misses. That's a Simpsons reference. I appreciate that. There you go. Your attack misses and pings off metal, armor, jewelry, flavor gong, etc.

Near the head of your closest ally, the intense sound causes your ally to be dazed for one round and deaf for 1d4 rounds. Will save negates the dazed condition. So who is technically closest? I'm not looking at the map. Dogger, right? To Nestor? Would you stop it?

He's on the creature. Closest to Nestor is Baron. So Baron, roll a save. What did I say? 42? Will save. Will save. Alright. Really, Baron's hearing can't be that great already. Oh yeah, all that gunfire. Will save

32. And that's against the AC of the creature? It's against his... Wait a minute. You had to confirm the fumble. Oh, right. Oh, God. I totally forgot. That's right.

We totally forgot. That's a... Oh, 30... Fuck. I'm so bad at doing math In my head quickly 33 not a confirmed fumble Okay everybody's fine Just a big miss of your highest damage

I'll see you for next time Nadav Okay alright well Second attack Natural one there we go Awesome And that is A 31 to confirm Not a fumble again

I was ready to just reuse that Alright Nadav you're back in Oh okay Natty 19 on the third attack Critical threat Critical threat Turn it to a crit Everything is coming up

That is not a confirm Not a confirm Roll out that 24 points of damage And he's dead Thank god I can't believe there were two more And we still all made it out

Four morgues they could all paralyze And you lived to find another And we'll see you next week! Bye! This time I actually don't want to play anymore. I need a break. I'm good. I'm good. That combat was stressful! Oh my god. I want to break my other arm. arm the glass cannon podcast is a glass cannon network production and is an officially licensed

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