The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 28 - Cave of Mutilation

Episode Date: December 8, 2015

With a battered and bound Skreed in tow, the adventurers seek a way out of the caverns beneath Bloodmarch Hill. But will curiosity get the better of them as they stumble into even greater danger? For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. I could only see good things happening from the twisted nails running the show. Yeah. What bad could happen? What bad could come of this? It's time to return to the surface, but not before one last showdown underground. Giant Galabras. Boom.

Boom. Boom. This is something out of a comic book. This is like Super Shredder. Oh, crit, crit, crit. Is this really the best use of our time, Gombly? I have nothing else to contribute. We could run.

This is brutally, brutally, brutally difficult. Calabras, we must flee. No fucking shit. The adventure returns to the surface. Hopefully. Hello, my friends, hello. It's me, Skid, a.k.a. Galabras the Cleric, a.k.a. Funkmaster G. Thank you, welcome to the Glass Cannon Podcast. Hey, Funkmaster G.

Thank you. Welcome to the Glass Cannon Podcast. As you know, last episode, we finally took down Screed, the flaxen-haired antagonist of Book 1. But as you'll hear in this episode, we go on to make a huge, totally avoidable tactical error, which will become apparent very quickly, which is something that happens even if you've been playing forever,

like most of us have, although it happens more regularly when you're as fundamentally dim-witted as most of us are. So be on the lookout for that embarrassing little tidbit. Otherwise, once again, please rate and review the show on iTunes. It's such a huge help. Thank you so much for those of you who have done it already. And you know what? If you like the show, why don't you tell a friend about it? That helps us too. And actually, if you don't like the show, tell an enemy. That'll show them. But without further ado, let us embark on this latest episode entitled, for the benefit

of our pixies-loving friends, Cave of Mutilation. No music? Oh, you want to go with the music? Play some music. I don't have anything ready. I wasn't expecting. At least hum something. I want an honest answer.

I want to go around the room and get an honest answer from the group. Did you think there would be combat in this room, Skid? No. Grant? As soon as you said humanoid figures, yes. Matthew? 100% yes. Joe?

I thought that the book would say there was combat and that you wouldn't have it happen so that we could just finish the goddamn book so no yeah yeah so no that's so that's why none of you healed right before you yeah when none of us healed be sure to check out our treated lork's poison be sure to check out our tumblr post We are stupid And look how fucking stupid we are This was foreshadowed I think this week's post is just going to be how Literally we just play the game dumb Not against the rules

We play really badly I don't know why it was like Why don't we just walk them out the way we came in And say let's walk them in and explore a new area We're completists clearly We are definitely There was fog of war over this area in the map

and we had to know what was underneath it couldn't resist in my defense there was fog of war gap generators fun episode last time we were just remarking

that that was the first episode since episode 11 I think that there was no combat yeah a long time

what a nice break. A nice little break. And then we teased combat at the end of it. It's always there. Just the tip. Always coming. Just the tip of combat. I mean, Galabras and Lork

did kind of rough up Screed a little bit while he's tied up. That's true. But not combat combat. Yeah, it was more... No attack rolls. No attack rolls. No attack rolls. I just slapped him

to get his necklace away from him. Right. Which Gormley is still wearing, I think, right? Yeah, it's very creepy. Really treated him poorly. Well, fuck him, right? Seriously.

He literally threw bombs at us. Yeah. And poisoned Lork. Yeah. Yeah, but, you know, honestly, we don't have to talk about it now. We're in combat But I started

Came around on the guy A little bit He's a Half orc with a rough life man I can see Where he was coming from He did say He did call your mother a whore

And said if you had another son He'd kill him too Yeah but And killed Roderick As if you think Lork hasn't heard That sort of shit talk In his whole life

It's just shit talk He's lashing out I mean you of anybody would understand where he's coming from. Exactly. You know how many times Lork's mother has been called a whore? You kind of get desensitized to it. You guys are completely right. Actions speak louder than words, and he did lead an assault

on the town where we live. Kill your son. Yeah, we should probably keep that in perspective. Try to kill us many times over. Hire assassins to kill us. I guess I made it charming. You just don't understand the plight of the half-orc. You don't get it, Matthew.

Maybe Lork's going to turn to the twisted nails. Yeah, I mean, I... He understands. I could only see good things happening from the twisted nails running the show. Yeah. What bad could happen? What bad could come of this?

You could listen to a lot of Christmas. No one who speaks German could be an evil man. Let's give Troy what he wants. So you walk into this room, and a dire rat jumps out and immediately attacks Scree because you're using him as a human shield. One of the hill giant skeletons that Gormley recognizes as a hill giant skeleton,

animates. Clearly, the guardian of Asgroth's tomb left behind for meddling detectives like you. And you know what? It's been a while, guys, but let's roll for initiative. Huh? All right.

Just roll for time's sake. Just like old times. Okay. Sorry, is the one, is the giant that is walking towards us, is the one with the chest in its chest? No, to the right of that one, so your right,

you see buried within the chest cavity, similar to where the dire rat jumped out of the one of that one, so your right, you see buried within the chest cavity. Similar to where the diorite jumped out of the one closest to you, you can see a chest buried in there. Okay, like a wooden chest. As you look to see this thing coming at you, you see that out of the corner of your eye because you're very perceptive. Now that's irony. Yeah, the chest and the chest cavity? Chest and the chest. Isn't that just incredibly apropos?

Nope. It would be the opposite. Nope't that just incredibly apropos? Nope. It would be the opposite. Nope. Nope. Because you wouldn't expect it. If the chest was in the pelvis? Okay. No, you wouldn't expect it.

Okay, who... It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife. Oh, you have the Alanis Morissette definition. Yeah. Okay, got it. Exactly. Who, Gormley, what do you got, a 90? That's a 24 for Gormley.

Anybody beaten 24? Nope. Not even close. I'm going head-to-head with Galabras this round. Any of the 20s? 22. Oh, Baron. Baron always has a solid initiative.

You're the greatest, Baron, yeah. All right, are you guys above 10? He's riling up his fans. I'm at 17. I'm at 17. All right, Galabras is 17. I wasn't even close. Lork, where are you at?

Lork comes in with a shiny six. Ooh, a gentleman six. A gentleman six. A gentleman six. And what's your initiative bonus? Two. Hmm.

Looks like either the rat or the hill giant animated from the dead rolled a six. Let's see what happens. Ladies and gentlemen, batting up next, a very significant combat

commences with round one. Gormley, you're up. So where is the skeleton with the chest in its chest? To the far side of the room, like directly across from you. So there's three hill giant skeletons on the wall closest to you, and on the other side of the room, there are three hill giant skeletons, the middle one of which has become animated.

And then to the right of him, there's a chest in a chest. But it's buried behind ribcage. I'll tell you, I want to detect magic on the chest, but I need to be within 60 feet to do that. Am I within 60 feet? Yeah, close enough. You detect

lots of magic alright I'll mention I want to get there okay is that a standard action that spell no okay I'm gonna move up to within 30 feet

of the giant but as far away as I can possibly stay this is classic Gormley Gormley leading the band maybe move me away from the dire at some i mean you can't and i'm gonna cast but i think i'm gonna hex use the only hex i think i can use on the giant which is misfortune misfortune now that's not a morale uh that doesn't affect morale right no it's a luck bonus. A luck. A negative luck bonus. It's not a mind-altering. As we mentioned before, undead cannot be affected by a compulsion and mind-affecting or morale-based things.

But this... Misfortune is not mind-affecting. It makes the kinetic energy around him unlucky. That's the way I think of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense. It doesn't make him stupid. It affects the very fabric of the universe.

To put it simply. That's going to be a will save? It's a DC 14 will save. As I've said 900 times on this podcast, yes. When I say I rolled exactly a 14, I'm telling the truth. That's so weird that misfortune didn't work. No, no, no, but that's the thing. Can't you hex his will saves? I evil eye and then do Misfortune?

Now he's done for the day. No, no, no, I'm just saying in future cases. No, most of the time I can. Generally, yeah. You should soften him up before you do Misfortune. But he can't. This is a mind-altering effect. But that's what I was going to say is like your abilities are great for boss fights

because you can start stacking stacking hexes on somebody, especially if you do saves and then misfortune. That's what he did with Screedy, stacked them up. I didn't do my saves, though. I didn't think that would work at all. You never did the saves. But that's a smart way to do it. The witch is such a great debuffer,

like the textbook debuffer. You stand back there and weaken, weaken, weaken so the fighters can come in and take them. Just standing in the back of the room and laughing at people and making them uneasy. I'll tell you, it was going to be a tough one, but I almost failed it. I did not. And now it is

Baron's turn. I'm going to take ten steps, or sorry, three squares to my right. Fifteen feet to your right? Yeah, and sorry, three squares to my right. So 15 feet to your right? Yeah, and I'm just going to wait for the giant to get closer, basically.

Get my stuff ready. So you're readying an action if the giant gets within 20 feet to fire? We also have those grenades. I don't, let's see how this goes. I have a feeling the most effective stuff is going to be magic. Okay, so you can move and ready, yes?

Yes, you can move and ready. We'll shoot at him if he gets within 20 feet. If he gets within 20 feet. Okay, uh... Galabras. What do you do? Galabras. Now, you have the hammer, right?

We gave Galabras the hammer. I believe you gave it off-air, but yes. Yeah, we gave it off-air. So Galabras has the new armor and the new hammer. Yeah. He's all fucking tricked out. Yeah. So I...

Spin him into Buscroth himself. He's like a whole new man. I know. We're going to have to get new character art. This is going to be really fun. It really will. like a whole new man I know this is gonna have to get new character art there's gonna be really fun Galabras is going to use the trigger word for the for the armor oh oh oh Nick chalk and get anyone who's over 40 years old who is a geek and just listen to that got excited. Was that the guy from the Justice League cartoon? Yeah, it was Apache Chief.

Apache Chief. Yeah, I'm under 40. Yeah, I had no idea on that one, by the way. Yeah, see? Yeah, Apache Chief was awesome. Never heard of it.

He just looked like an Apache, but he grew. There's a really good Harvey Birdman. No, yeah, he's on that episode of Harvey. That's probably where you know. Yeah.

No, no, I watched the old reruns. Oh, you did? know. Yeah, no, no. I watched. I watched the old reruns. Oh, you did. Okay. Grant. Oh, Jesus Christ. Let's go. All right.

So I. So Galabras becomes huge. You double in size. He doubles in size. And waves eight times as dense. And I'm going to charge at the rat. And I'm going to take a swing. Oh, man.

What should he be rolling dice-wise for damage if he hits? You get a plus two to strength and plus two, so you get a plus one to hit. No, damage. Oh, for damage? Like damage dice. What is the weapon? Is it a warhammer? Oh, yeah. It is a... Oh, you guys haven't... He's going dice. What is the weapon? Yeah. Is it a warhammer? Oh, yeah.

It is a... Oh, you guys haven't... This is the first... The inaugural uses on this diorite. Yeah, you haven't successfully... Did the hammer enlarge with him, by the way? It should have, yeah. Yeah, so the hammer changed size again,

as did the armor. And it is a... All you know is it is a plus two warhammer. Oh, it's a plus two warhammer oh it's a plus two warhammer so a giant and my strength goes up by how many points five no plus four bonus to strengthen constitution and a minus two to dexterity so you're raging yeah right right okay all right so i rolled a 21 to hit 21 to hit the uh the rat yep uh that is a hit. Okay. And what's a... A Warhammer is 1d8,

I assume. Hold on. That's immediate. No, a Warhammer is 1d10. Oh, no, it's large. Hold on, hold on. It's a large hammer. Hold on a second.

When it's regular, is it 1d8? I believe so. If it is, then it's 2d6 for damage because it's bigger now. 13 damage. Oh, my God.

13 damage. Holy shit! Lork has not been this fucked up by something you saw since Baron first pulled out a gun. It's like, what is happening? That was the Dire Rat! This mild-mannered cleric. 13 damage, and you kill the Dire Rat. Yeah!

Fuck you, Dire Rat! And as you kill the Dire Rat, two things happen. One, he was gnawing at Screed, and as he falls from his body, Screed's rope becomes undone. He gnawed right through the things holding

Screed together. And, as it dies, it starts to take an incorporeal form. It would have been another Shadow Ash! Oh, it would have been, but he got it fast enough. He killed it. Nice. It had 11 hit points.

This is the greatest victory in the history of Codfinder. He just turned giant, walked up, smashed. Wait, wait, wait. Did we take Screed's belt away from him? We didn't go through and analyze everything, but we took it away from him. Yep. Good.

And now it is the giant's turn. The giant... Matt almost did the equivalent of being like, but teacher, you didn't take our homework. Please take the homework. I was very worried. The giant steps up. I don't know if he's...

5, 10, 15, 20... Yeah. Fire away. He is now within range of Baron's pistol. He starts walking towards Gormley with a spear. Oh, okay. Shoot him. 22 to hit. 22 hits.

Damage. Two. Two damage. Two damage. That's bludgeoning, by the way. Bludgeoned Right And pierced Okay

You hit him And then he swings Or really pokes his spear at Gormley Gormley you just see this Skeleton of a hill giant An ancient hill giant Come rushing at you And stabs at you with a spear

Oh baby 31 to hit Oh fuck come rushing at you and stabs at you with a spear. Oh, baby. 31 to hit. Oh, fuck. Is that a hit? That's a nice bonus you got to get hits. Oh, man. Okay. 14 points of damage.

Ouch. So just... Hits Cormley. 14 points of damage. And now it is Lork's turn. Lork is going to step up to the giant with his masterwork greataxe and attack him. Okay. Now, traditionally, slashing weapons don't really

do as much to undead creatures just because they don't have flesh. So it's sort of like you bang on bone. It doesn't do as much, but he doesn't really have any better option. So he's just going to swing away at him. With a slashing weapon, you're going to have to really do some damage for it to affect him. But it could affect him.

Bludgeoning weapons, you know, traditionally are going to bypass him. Be better, yeah, but shit, what are you going to do? Alright, here we go. Favorite enemy. Oh, and I'm going to do a power attack. Yeah, do it. Power attack. 22 to hit.

22 hits. 22 to hit, and he does 12 points of damage. All right, so that gets through. All right, so he did something. Chipped some bone off. Nice.

Nice. Round. Gormley, stay back. This is very dangerous. Round two. Gormley, you just feel this intense pain come from right between your nipple and your armpit. I forgot you were a woman when I said nipple, but yeah, right between your nipple and your armpit. Spear wound from a giant spear.

And it's your turn. That's actually how a breast implant begins, the first incision a surgeon makes. I've watched a lot of Nip Tuck. It's made by an undead spear? An undead spear. Clearly, Skid hasn't watched Nip Tuck. watched a lot of Nip Tuck. It's made by an undead spear? An undead spear. Clearly Skid hasn't watched Nip Tuck. I don't watch Nip Tuck. Alright, Gormley's gonna full withdraw. I want to go

around. Can I make it around? I want to head back towards where the chest is. What did you say, Troy, a couple episodes ago? That Gormley runs like a girl every chance? So you're going this way? As far as I can towards the chestormley runs like a girl every chance in the... So you're going this way. As far as I can towards the chest.

She runs like a woman, all right? I'm sorry. That was the patriarchy. A brave... That was the patriarchy. Strong woman. So you kind of... Like Florence Griffith Joyner.

You take a circular motion around it because you know this thing has reach to avoid any sort of attack of opportunity. And you're running to the opposite side of the room to go check out this chesticle. Exactly. Baron, you're up. With our witch not debuffing,

I thought it might be nice for us to get a little bit of a bonus ourselves by throwing a Tanglefoot bag at him. It would take away... Not right now, just because you're going to take minus four to the throw. It's already hard enough as it is.

All right, well then... It's going to be tough. I don't know how it works with a large creature. Yeah, with a large creature, you might need a large Tanglefoot bag. Okay. It would be interesting, though, for one reason, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, Troy, but I think that he's not going to be able to attack anyone in direct

melee range because he's got a reach spear. Yeah, if he has a reach weapon, then he wouldn't... If someone was standing right up next to him... So if he can't move and we were standing right next to him, he wouldn't be able to hit us. Right, so squeezing him in is a good idea because now he can take a five foot step

and still be able to take a full attack action. But yeah, with large creatures that take up four squares, you can't attack a creature directly in front of you unless you have a particular weapon that allows that.

I think claws you can. I don't know. Really have to look that up. It's a complicated rule. I mean, the only thing is he'll be able to break the strength check to be glued to the floor really easily because it's like a DC-17, and if he hit with a 31, he probably is strong. He's probably very strong.

A little bit, yeah. So I'm just going to shoot him again? Yeah, that's probably a better idea. You'll still take him on? Fuck you, Skid. No one asked you. I've agreed with you. You're a giant person now, and now you just boss everyone around, see? Look, that's probably a better idea. You'll still take a minus... Fuck you, Skid! No one asked you! I've agreed with you! You're a giant person now, and now you just boss everyone around,

see? Look! Look how big I am! Look! You are the hostage of Scandinavian terrorists! I mean, you'll still take a minus four, but it's against his touch AC, so you'd have to roll pretty poorly. I rolled a 16. So, 12... And that's minus

four, right? No, that's after the minus 4. Yeah, yeah. Jeepers. Yeah, that's a hit. That's why I like giants. I did 5 damage. 5 damage. All right.

You guys are chip-chip-chippering away. Bludgeoning. Ping! Giant Galabras. Okay. Giant Galabras. Boom! Boom! Boom! This is something out of a comic book. Galabras. Okay. Giant Galabras. Boom. Boom.

Boom. This is something out of a comic book. Oh, actually, you know what? I'm going to use... This is like super shredder. I'm going to flank him. And I have reached two now. Right, right.

So now I attack. Okay, so he didn't... It didn't provoke. Oh, but you're not flanking. I don't think. Why not? Because you're a square. Well, I mean, I guess you are,

because you're melee. No, because I have reach. Right, I'm melee. It's too bad you... Oh! Crit! Crit! What?

Crit! I rolled a 20. Confirm that shit! I rolled a 20! Oh, town! Okay. I saw both of them. I saw both of them I saw both of them

In my games What do we do? If you confirm a critical With another 20 No there's like You just take two cards and pick the better one Yeah That's what we do

Because usually you only get one when you're not using a times three I can't believe you rolled a 20 out of 20. Oh, my God. All right. Galavris' first giant day. Yeah, I know. This is fucking great. I'm so glad.

Doing melee attacks. I'm so glad you took the armor. We'd normally just give it to the orc, but that's so funny. Rattled. Normal damage and target is confused for 1d3 rounds. Oh, that's great. Somebody's going to have to pull up confused. I got it right here. It's actually pretty interesting.

I roll a d100, and there's a bunch of crazy stuff that could happen. Don't read it off. Just tell us what happens. Alright, so roll that damage. It's 2d6, right? Yep. 12 damage. Okay.

And then roll a d3 one round all right so for one round he's confused nice and now it's weird how an undead could be confused but let's roll with it he's gonna I so I roll this well maybe I like hit him like in his skull and it like he's right his head around yeah he's gonna, so I roll this two. Well, maybe I, like, hit him, like, in his skull, and it, like, he spun his head around. Yeah, he's rattled. He, like, actually spun his head around, and he's, like, disoriented. Right, right, right, like a cartoon skeleton. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, zero to. Like Linda Blair. There's a chance nothing could happen if I roll super low here. No, I did not. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, so now he has to attack the nearest creature. It takes a five-foot step back and does a full attack action at Lork.

First attack with the spear. 30. Second attack with the spear. Fumble. Yeah! Oh! Let me roll the damage on the 30. J-Pris, now there's the confusion coming in right there. I was worried about that

second attack. I mean, that's brutal. 16 points of damage. Hold on a second. 16 points of damage and he missed the second attack. If he hit that second attack, I'd be almost permanently dead. This is very very this is

extremely dangerous situation well you're gonna like this uh fumble then what is it for a uh vibration what is it using what kind of weapon is using a spear oh shoot if you're using a bludgeoning weapon you take one to 3 points of strength damage and drop your weapon. But he's not. Is that the piercing fumble card? It's just melee. The best thing that happened in that confusion is that second hit did not hit Lork. Oh, yeah.

I mean, I know I say this every episode, but Lork's dead. If he's doing 16 points of damage on a hit and he's rolling 30s, that's brutal. Well, one hit, then I'm down. Okay. And good thing Galabras wiped out that Shadow Rat in one hit. Because it was a dire Shadow Rat. That would have been really fucking infuriating if that thing was still running. Gormley, you're up.

And by the way, you see Screed sort of kind of coming too. God damn it. All right, well, I'm going to move over to the chest in the chest and examine what's in there. What do you want me to roll? Spellcraft? It's a chest buried deep within the cavity. You would have to break through the ribcage to get at it. Okay. What do you want me to break through the rib cage to get at it. Okay.

What do you want me to do, a strength check or melee attack? It's going to be pretty hard for you, but yeah, you can do a, just do a strength check to see if you can bust the ribs open. So you add your strength bonus. Probably don't have any. I have a minus one. And I rolled a four, so no.

Ah! Ah! Ah! No ribs for dinner for Gormley. Is this really the best use of our time, Gormley? I have nothing else to contribute. Okay, Baron. How high up do we heal Screed to, like, one hit point?

It was less than five. Yeah, he's below five. I'm thinking about shooting him to keep him unconscious or like knock it away does that make sense because the the giant's gonna take some time to resolve itself and at least we don't have to deal with screed on our hands if i shoot him yeah it's tough because the giant can one-hit both of us, or either of us. Yeah, I feel like the bigger threat is the giant right now, based on the amount of damage he can do.

All right, I'll shoot him, and I just hope I'm doing something. Maybe Screed will help? No, Screed's going to kill me. Wow. Or run. Poetic justice. Or he'd run. Poetic justice. Or he'd run. Well, he's unarmed.

Yeah, he's unarmed. He probably doesn't run. Yeah, that's true. He's unarmed. Is he? No, no, no. We didn't search him. We patted him down.

I feel like we should stop something bad happening with him. Whatever you want to do. So I'm going to shoot him. I'm going to shoot him. You're going to shoot a screed? Yeah. Okay. It's like, boom!

Nice try, fool. 25. That is a hit. Nine points of damage. Screed goes into his ferocity. Excellent. No, he doesn't. You get one ferocity a day.

Oh, one per day. Okay, so Screed is unconscious and dying. And I say to him, stay down, boy. There's a giant that giant Galabras and Lork are in combat with, and Baron just looks over and is like, bang! I hate orcs more than anything. And this guy tried to kill us. I can't believe that Screed was used as a human shield

and that's what ended up getting him released from his binds. I thought we were going to have a whole dramatic screed trial. And then Baron shot him and he's bleeding out. Well, we can still stabilize him later. We can, yeah. If we live. If we live long enough.

Galabras. I'm genuinely more nervous than I've ever been for the party. Yeah, yeah, I seriously am not kidding. We could run. We maybe actually should run because I mean, what do we get out of fighting the skeleton? Absolutely nothing.

That chest might be interesting. We can certainly come back. I think we can outrun this thing. We could split the party. Whose turn is it? It is Galabras' turn. I mean, I can out come back. And I think we can outrun this thing. We could split the party. Whose turn is it? It is Galabras' turn. I mean, I can outrun it. It is, excuse me, Giant Galabras' turn.

Giant Galabras. Standing face to face. This is like Hulk versus Giant Iron Man. Well, the reason I went for the chest in the chest is that, as was pointed out, it could possibly be something that could aid us in this combat. Right. I think you can aid us in the combat by healing one of these guys. Yeah, using your wand of healing.

I could get back over there. Yeah, that would probably be better. So I think you should stop one of these guys from dying at some point. But I think we should do some sort of check to see how bad off he looks from the damage we have done to him so far, if that's possible. This is always your thing. What are his hit points? Hey, man, we took hours figuring out the exact AC of some of the enemies last time. But I think we should take one more round and then run.

See where we get. That's just me. The phone's over here lighting up and it's the fans. And they're saying they're gonna run? Again with this? Off Don comes running in. Hey guys, I heard you're gonna run.

He hangs his head over the ten foot ledge. You gonna run, pussies? I'm gonna smash your skull open Alright I've been shamed into Oh no Don't blame it on me Now we can truly blame it on Troy 14 to hit

14 does not hit We're dead And it is the Giant's turn 14 does not hit. We're dead. We're dead. And it is the giant's turn. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh, man. I wish you guys could see. You might have missed something,

because I haven't gone since the giant hit me. Oh, we already started another round. Did we skip the lork altogether? I guess you did. Okay. Sorry. Bring your lork and then the giant and then lork again. So this is lork from round three.

Oh, jeez. What? Did you just automatically have the giant go just because he was confused? Did he go out of order? No, it goes Galabras, giant, lork. Oh. Okay. So the giant attacked you and hit.

So I should have gone before he shot Scream, basically. I went to Gormley. Gormley went to the chest. And then Baron shot. And then Galabras swung. And now it's Giant's turn again. We just must have glossed completely over it. Gotcha. Yeah, I think it's pretty much certain death. Yeah. To keep pursuing this.

It seems pretty stupid. So Lork's going to back out. He's going to withdraw. All right. Lork backs out back towards the Huskaroth's tomb. Yep. Okay. The giant.

Oh, and he's going to just quick draw and get out his bow. Okay. The giant attacks Galabras. No, you need to roll for confusion. Did you already do that? No, that's over. It's only one round. Oh, fuck.

First attack, 18. Yeah, that's a hit. And that's with the plus two to your AC? Yep. Okay. I'll roll that damage first. Oh! I rolled minimum damage.

Hold on real quick before you say that. Have you changed your AC to reflect that you're wearing half plate plus one? Oh, no. That's a miss. You should, yeah. Yeah, that's a miss. It's half plate plus one? Oh, no. That's a miss. It's half plate plus one. The armory pickup, right? Right, yeah, yeah. It was half plate plus one.

So that's plus seven to your AC. That definitely misses. What are you currently wearing? But you're also minus two because of the giant status. But then I get plus two for the giant status too for the National Artist, so it just balances out. Oh just balances oh oh right right so so what's your new AC gonna be just so we can I'm not telling you I'm just I just want you to know it so I know what it is okay I'm not telling you you have to taste tell me

what you roll to take away the are you make up your fake numbers and then I'll tell you my fake number kids been DMing a long time. He knows how it works. 21 on the second attack. Alright, that hits. Okay. Also, crappy damage. 12 points of damage. Okay, I'm almost dead. And now it's Lork

again. Galabras! We must flee! No fucking shit! We cannot fight this. Baron, fall back. And I'll start, I'll take a shot. Screed? I'll take a shot with... No reply. Anything from Screed?

I'll take a shot with... Screed's gonna bleed to death. I'm so sorry, Screed. I thought we were gonna win and take you out of here. I'm not evil. Screed, if you object, say something. Great. I'll take a, Screed. I thought we were going to win and take you out of here. I'm not evil. Screed, if you object, say something. Great. I'll take a shot with the bow. That's 14 to hit.

That's a miss. So I miss with the bow, and I'll continue to back out of the cave. Okay. You're not using rapid shot? No, because I can't then move. Okay. Gormley standing in front of the chest glowing with magic

Yeah, I guess I'm going to start backing out Can you carry that chest with you? We can come back I haven't opened up the red cage yet So I'm going to start heading up the other direction which we have not explored yet So basically we're splitting in two different directions

from this giant But we know that it goes back to the same place. We assume that there's no danger between here and there, yeah. We have not explored that area. Yep, so Gormley is walking. Well, if Galabras comes with me, a giant Galabras can help. Opposite direction to an unexplored area. Baron.

Just handing a picture to the fans at home. The giant has reached. The cavern is only so wide. That's our only choice. It's not a condemnation of your action. I'm just painting a picture. There is this giant cavern with a hill giant skeleton in the middle.

Giant Galabras 10 feet away. Lork running out the cave towards Asgroth's tomb. Excuse me, Gormley running towards up the ramp. Unknown. On the opposite side of the cave. Right. And then Baron still perched

on the north side of the room, 20 feet away from the giant gun. Baron is going to shoot one more time and then withdraw with Lork. And he is going to do nine to hit against touch. Exactly. Oh, that's why we love pistols and giants.

That's why touch is clutch. Three damage, and he's going to move 20 feet closer to Lork. Three damage, and he is well below half of his bloodied. I'm telling you guys. I'm telling you guys. And it is Giant Galabras' turn. All right. Giant Galabras is going to double move towards Gormley.

So now we've got Galabras and Gormley together on one side, Lork and Baron together on the other. You can move, like, 80 feet around. Yeah. That's great. This is intense and Baron together on the other. I'm so glad you took, you can move like 80 feet around. Yeah. That's great. This is a dead, so Jai in the middle, uh, Gormley and Galabras on one side, Baron and Lork on the other side, Screed's dead body, dying body, uh, bleeding out in the middle of the

room. Uh, and it is now the, uh, giant's turn. Let me just check his, uh, turn, excuse me, let me check his movement. Yep. He, uh, just check his turn. Excuse me, let me check his movement. Yep, he comes up to Baron. Oh, boy. And as he's walking over there,

he just kind of barrels down with a spear at you. 14. That is a miss. And now it is Lork's turn. I rolled... How is he rolling 30s and a 14? I just rolled a 2. All right, it is Lork's turn.

All right. Lork is going to... Lork's about 20 feet away from the giant. Yeah, he'll... Yeah, he'll just take two shots at him. Miss. And 16? 16 hits.

16 to hit. And he does 7 points of damage. Do you roll a d6 with your bow? It's a short bow. Oh. It's a composite though, so it's not the bonus though. You see him starting to stagger. Has an arrow. Just kind of lodges into one of the hip bones. And it's Gormley's turn.

So are we going to continue with this retreat? Do whatever you want. Now we can shoot with our crossbow. You should shoot him from behind because I can't move fast enough to get away from him. And he can't get to us now. Okay, I'll shoot with the crossbow. You should shoot him from behind because I can't move fast enough to get away from him. And he can't get to us now, so let's... Okay, I'll shoot with the crossbow. And miss. Okay.

Baron! Did you throw a D6 to hit? Oh, I see. Sorry, I'm seeing D6s everywhere. Baron, ten feet in front of you is a towering skeleton of a hill giant. And you were just looking up at it. How much damage was he doing earlier? 12?

He did 16 to me. He did 14 to me. He did 12 as minimum damage. Okay, I'll full withdraw to where Lork is, and I'm going to kind of hide by him. Okay. And I'm going to say to Lork, as I get next to him, I got a potion to cure light wounds

on my belt. Yeah I have one too but yeah I didn't I didn't think it would do enough healing I thought it would be better to shoot him I think if we shoot him from all sides we can kind of kill him. Yeah we gotta keep peppering him Let's go! Who's up? Alright Calabrus This is so interesting the way it's set up

Calabrus is going to move in and fire with his no I don't have it I can't do to strike this is your last round as a giant oh but I rolled a 22 that's a hit fucking one damage oh no this is your last giant round and did you do damage reduction the points, on all of his attacks to you? Because you get protection from evil if he is evil. Oh, fucking, that's right. He hit you twice?

All right, so that's seven hit points left. The giant comes up again and tries to hit Baron with its spear. 14 again. Misses. Misses Baron. And it is Lork's turn. Does he provoke an attack? Oh no you're carrying a ball Um

So now Lork, Baron And the hill giant skeleton Are lodged in the tunnel leading back To Asgard's tomb where you fought Screed On the other side of the room Crossbow twins Galabras and Gormluch If there was ever a time for

Quickdraw Yeah I mean like my heart is like Pounding is it like do I just like let Lork Die for this fucking thing it seems silly But he It's so lame to just keep running away Alright well What do you do Lork what do you do

I don't know What you guys would have done with the friggin rat Yeah Lork is... Or Screed just running around, by the way. I think that was actually kind of clutch. Lork is going to... All right, he will say, Baron, run!

And he'll drop his bow. No! This is so badass. This is bottle cap worthy. He's just going to do it. Swinging his battle axe. Swinging his battle axe. This is so fucking worthy. He's just going to do it. Swinging his battle axe. Swinging his battle axe. This is so fucking cool.

Come on. Get a good roll out of this. Come on, Lork. Natty 19. Get out of here. Almost a fucking crit. He doesn't crit on a 19? No.

Not the battle axe. 19 definitely hits. All right. Come on. I need a good D12 roll here. Good D12 roll. 15 damage. 15 right, come on. I need a good D12 roll here. Good D12 roll. 15 damage. 15 damage?

15 damage. This thing is almost dead. Oh, no. I told you I believed you. It had DR. I'll just tell you. I'm going to break the fourth wall here. It has DR5 bludgeoning, so it took 10 points of damage,

and it's almost dead. Oh, wait a second. Well, stop it. Stop it. I'm not counting it. Okay. No, no, no. I was going to say I might try to flee and just take an attack of opportunity, but no. We got him.

Baron, run! He's all bloodied up. He stands in front of this thing. One last hit. At least he hit it before he died. You hit it, and its ribs crack open, and Gormley, you see this. You're like, oh, so that's how you do it. That makes total sense. I just need to be a giant strong orc.

Okay. Maybe the last round. But for who? Gormley of the podcast. Gormley, you're up. Crossbow. Or reload shoot. Well, no, you can't.

Oh, yeah, no, you can't. Because you would have to move to be able to get in position to shoot him. Oh, because he moved so far away. So you can double move, get in position, and load. This is... Or single move. Single move and load. Move and load, yeah. Yeah, that's what I do.

Me too. I'm in the same boat. This is a momentous occasion. And that's what you're doing, Galabras? I'm doing the same thing. So you're done too, right? Yeah. All right, so they both move into position. Move and load their crossbows. Okay. And they're what you're doing, Galabras? So you're doing the same thing. Alright, so they both move

and load their crossbows. And they're like a hundred feet away. You know what? I rolled the wrong damage dice because that was a large crossbow when I shot him before. The crossbow turned large? Yeah.

I don't know. I don't know what the armor does. It stayed normal size. I just pressed the button. I just pressed the button. Heo, critical! You crit him? Yes, I crit him. But before I fire... You didn't even tell me you were going to roll. Were you actually going to attack or were you checking your roll?

I was not. I was going to raise my hand. You can force roll me again if you want. I mean, you've got to say you're going to attack and then roll, because if you had rolled a one, you wouldn't have been like, you'd have been like,

all right, now I'm going to attack. And I fumbled. All right, well, either way, if you want to get rid of my crit, that's fine. I have to, for the good of the game, get rid of the crit. But tell me what you want to do. I'm going to look at him,

and I'm going to say to him, in the words of A.J. Beebe, I give you permission to leave this town. There you go. Rolled a 19 to hit. 19 hits. Three damage. It has one hit point left.

I'm not even exaggerating. It has one hit point left. Oh, no! I said, Baron, I kind of, I want to. I said, Baron, I told you not to run! And it's its turn. It drops its spear and swings one claw at Baron and one claw at Lork. Shit.

First claw goes at Baron. 18. Does not hit. Second claw goes at Lork. Lork, what do you think's going to happen? I think it's going to hit. Second claw glows at Lork. Lork, what do you think is going to happen? I think it's going to hit. 22. That is a hit.

Just swings right over Baron's head. Doesn't compensate for the smaller size. And then this giant skeletal claw rakes across your skin for 12 points of damage. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That'll do it. Are you? Honestly, I can't remember,

because we've been playing for this day so long. I can't remember if you used Ferocity or not. I'm in the negative. I don't think you have this day. I don't. My gut is telling me I haven't. I think you used it in the battle for Bloodmarch Hill. Yeah, I definitely did.

But how far in the negative are you? I am five in the negative. I'm negative five. And your con is lower. So it's at negative ten, I'm permanently dead. So this thing just, boom, hit Lork to the ground, and Lork is now dying. Yeah, but he's still standing there because he's Orc Ferocity.

Right, he's still standing there. It's your turn, Lork. And you take one point of damage, but you've got to hit him. Yeah, there's no way. You've got to hit him for more than six points of damage. This is it. This is his dying act. You've got to do it.

This could be his dying act. You guys have got to rush over. As you're falling to the cave floor. Barret. Flee. Tell them what we found here. Yes! It's a hit.

Natural 17. It's like 26. It's a hit. 25. Hits. Just got to roll six or more damage. Six or more damage. Oh, my God.

He rolled more damage. Six or more damage. Oh, my God. He rolled nine damage. Lork gets raped by this giant claw. And Baron, you're close enough to see the lights coming out of Lork's eyes. And then Lork, with his last ditch effort, just boom! It shatters the skeleton. Bone death. Yeah! And then he just falls forward.

Right. He falls forward onto the clock they both fall both collapse bleeding out immediately just for flavor I'm the closest person to him

so what is the bonus a healer's kit gives you we got that healer's kit plus two plus two I'm gonna do a heal check to stabilize Lork

DC 15 I believe 22 awesome so Baron Baron who started off this adventure hey very suspicious i put my lips on his mouth to give him cpr uh runs over and kisses him gives him the kiss of life and stabilizes and i whisper so i'm still unconscious i'm just you're not stabilized as we come back as as he's coming back to stabilize as he's unconscious I'm whispering him to to him like a coma patient and oftentimes when you talk to coma

patients you want to reaffirm your love for them and let them know that people are there and care about you what he says in his ears is that you know that was a crit our dungeon master I say I yell after I stabilize him. Galabras, get over here. You got to heal this man. Yeah, we come. We come both running. Yeah, we come running.

Look, look. I keep running up, pull out the wand and use it on him. I use mine on him immediately. You could do the same. I'll do the same as well. Nine. Two. do the same. I'll do the same as well. Nine. Two. It's enough.

He comes back up at two hit points. Nice. Wow. No, I'm sorry. Plus five. Combat over. Oh, wow. So is that it for the moment?

That's it. You hear Screed is kind of... Gormley will cast St cast stabilize on Screed. Dying. I tie him up. It's too late for Screed. No. As you get to him.

He has less than a minute left. And you can hear him whispering. And you can tell he's talking about you, Lork. He's like, you had it so easy. You had it so easy, the way you were raised. You don't understand. You don't understand what it's like. You'll never understand until you're dead.

Tell Malir I love her. Screed dies See I'm telling you I feel a little bit bad for him I don't feel bad at all I didn't want to kill him though Hey remember all the children that were going to get raped Because of the army he set on this town I don't feel bad at all

You know who I feel a little bit bad for? Hitler Wasn't such a bad guy Hey man he was a vegetarian said on this town. Yeah. I don't feel bad at all. You know who I feel a little bit bad for? Hitler. Ouch. Wasn't such a bad guy. Yeah, man. He was a vegetarian when it was really unpopular and no one thought it was cool.

He liked dogs. I'm surprised you didn't ask Grant, but you do get a grid point back. All right, so Lork is going to one knee,

the other, or one foot, the other foot, stand back up, stretch a little. Oh, the other foot. Stand back up. Stretch a little. Oh, I feel terrible. Cricks his neck. While he's doing that, I zap him again.

Oh, yeah, awesome. Seven points. Nice. So he's feeling better. You want another hit from me? Can we please get out of this cave? The chest. We got to look at this chest.

Yeah. All right, so. I'm all for that. I walk over to the chest. As you're walking over to the chest, you notice, Baron, there's like these large martial and exotic weapons all over the room,

like the statue, not the statue, the skeletons are holding them. And you see probably a dozen large, three of them are masterwork. There's six suits of large, medium, or heavy armor, two of which are masterwork. And there's just all these large weapons. You said masterwork medium armor?

No, no, it's all, everything is large. Oh, so it's not wearable by us without a transportation law. Yeah, like large medium armor or large heavy armor. Got it, got it, got it, got it. So yeah, it's all, everything is large. Oh, so it's not wearable by us without a transportation. Yeah, like large medium armor or large. Got it, got it, got it, got it. So yeah, it's all. So masterwork cool, we're not going to bring it with us now. I'm concerned about the chest. I take a look at it and what happened when. You have to try and break through the rib cage.

Oh, strength check? Oh, Lork can do it. Lork should do it. So just a strength check? Yes. Straight up strength check? Oh, Lork can do it. Lork should do it. So just a strength check? Yes. Straight up strength check. Straight up strength. Oh, it was cracked.

It was leaning between two numbers. Of course it was. 13 strength check. The ribs break, and this ancient-looking chest sits within the cavity of this hill giant skeleton. Lorca, he's kind of... I think I'm going to decide, like, as a character, he's pretty

freaked out in general by magic. Not like, you know, run in terror from it, but he's just like, uh, Galabras, you wanna... Because he, you know, Galabras and Gormley went rooting through the giant and everything, and he was like, uh, kind of freaked out, so I'll step back if you guys want to.

I mean, do I need to pull it out? Do you need strength to pull it out? Nope. It seems as if you could take it right out. I'll lead the way for Galabras and Gormley to look at it. So I don't really feel bad for Hitler. I'm just making a point. I just want to clarify.

Okay, so Galabras, it is magical, yes? Yeah, we detected magic on it. A lot of it. Let's open it together. One, two, three. A trap goes up. No, I'm just kidding. So you pull it out and you both

open it together and you see four items sitting inside. Items that look as if they are from an entire different time and maybe place, from a different civilization even. These are the four items you see. There's this very, very worn and dusty, even though it was in this chest,

covered in a thick layer of dust, studded leather armor, covered in what looks to be ancient dwarven runes. Oh, shit. Who is a dwarf and wears medium armor? Christmas came early this year. That was item number one. Oh, shit.

Please identify. There is a small, handheld figurine in the shape of a scorpion. What? Oh, fuck. That was item number two. Holy shit. Item number three. I really haven't come across this too often.

It's these cords, like in the shape of a figure eight, that you would think can be worn wrapped around your arms, like behind your back. You follow me? Like as if you broke your collarbone? Kind of, right. And the links of the cord are in the shape of a butterfly, like emerging

from larvae to pupae back to butterfly again. Okay. That was item number three. Item number four is a shirt made of gossamer-thin fabric. Embroidered on the back is the rudimentary drawing of a warrior, a great warrior, slipping through the legs of a giant

and, like, striking it from underneath. And those are the four items you find. Guys, what I'm realizing is that we're actually Link from The Legend of Zelda. We're reborn heroes that come back again and again. That's awesome. Should I spellcraft

to see what they are? Sure, you can do, if you roll a good enough spellcraft I'll tell you what all four of them are. Come on, baby. A ten. Calabras? Gal. Gal.

Do you have spellcraft? Shot, shot, shot, shot. I don't. Oh, no. Looks like we won't know until we take him to town. Gormley, you want to roll spellcraft? Yeah. You can roll spellcraft for all four of them.

It's a 21. 21. There you go, buddy. Just to save time. The dusty studded leather armor covered in ancient dwarven runes, plus one studded leather armor. Nice. The small handheld figurine in the shape of a scorpion

acts as a first-level pearl of power. Ooh. The cords with the butterfly going from larva to pupa and back again, they're like muleback cords, so they give you a plus eight strength just for your carrying capacity, so you can carry a lot more things than you would normally be able to carry, and it won't affect your, like, to hit and your weight encumbrance. The shirt with the rudimentary drawing of the warrior on it functions as a quick runner's shirt.

So once per day as a swift action, you get an additional move action. Whoa. And this is what you find in the ancient chest. Askroth's guardian's chamber. Nice. Um... Galabras takes a moment to

marvel at the hand of fate. That these things were all clearly intended for each of us. No, the butterfly, like the scorpion. Yeah.

It's like, there's some greater like power at work here. And he like genuflects to Desna, like as he sits there, it's like, wow, this was meant to be. It's pretty, pretty, this was meant to be. It's a pretty heavy moment.

And you don't hear a sound other than maybe a distant flapping of wings. Beautiful. Which could be anything. I think we know what it is. And you safely walk up the ramp and exit the cave. With all the treasure. Unmolested. Everything that Screed has exit the cave. With all the treasure.

Unmolested. Everything that Screed has is on me. With all the treasure. Did you want to take all those large weapons as well? I don't know if you can carry it. With that belt you have. Between the two of us. I have the belt.

We can carry a lot of this treasure. And I also want to take Screed's body out. I want to carry his body out. Oh, okay. All right, so you kind of take everything. Everything. Yeah, and you walk outside and the guards just see you covered in blood and carrying the body. Loaded with treasure.

Loaded with treasure. That's how it's done, boys. And you guys just, you're carrying, just imagine this picture, so it's kind of i'm assuming lork is up front carrying the body of screed with the with the rest of you guys trailing not too far behind and you're walking through and there's still that smell of death in the air from the

battle on blood march hill you see the pyre of orcs bodies being lit on fire um and you see like other carts of bodies that are like friends and militiamen that they're trying to sort out from what's left of these carcasses to see whose family is this guy belonged to, or is he going to get buried, how's this going to work? The death is just everywhere. And you guys have been in the thick of it from the beginning. Yeah.

When you were first attacked by dogs in the town square. Wolves, right? Oh, yeah, wolves, rather. Infected wolves. And you make your way back towards town, and what do you guys want to do? Do you want to check in with... I want to check in with Jagrin and show him Scree's body.

The murder of his son. Yeah, and explain... murder of his son. We've solved the mystery. At least the first mystery, which was Roderick's death. And curse, too. We should probably get curse in there. It would also be nice to cure all these gaping sphere

and sword wounds that we have in our bodies. And your poisoning and your guys' strength damage. Yeah. I think that Tiare... Sanctuary? Sanctuary first. Sanctuary. So you guys go to the sanctuary

and spend the night there nursing your wounds. Getting hit up for money. Do you take the... She's like, I'm sure, Tyari Barbatos. It's like, I'm sure after a small donation, we could take care of this. And do you bring the body of Screed with you

to be interred there or kind of kept there like they were doing with Roderick's body? You know, it's tough. I don't know what to do. What do you do in that situation? I mean, like like just son is there rod rodrick was interred there oh my god just like imagine this image of you bringing uh screed's body down and it's the same room where just son's body is yeah yeah so i mean maybe he does maybe he

walks it in there he considers screed sort of absolved in death basically right so he's like he served his punishment his name is Robert Paulson his name in death half orcs have a name we might want to we might want to let cutres Raja and know that he's in brand new in it and maybe well bring you we can let know too I was thinking more if we want to give him like a passageway into whatever afterlife there is he lived in work tribes he knows what they're kind of that's true yeah ways into the knows their rituals there as they as they pass in the mystic with Van Morrison,

that might be a good thing to do. Brown-eyed girl. Sing brown-eyed girl. So yeah, Lork will take the body down, lay it down, basically in the same room that Jasun is in, and just sort of just say, it's done. Your death's been avenged, boy.

Right, and Catrezra eventually gets worried that you guys are there, and he comes down and sees what you guys have gone through. You can see it on your faces, on your bodies, and everything, and he sees Screed. And, you know, it kind of feels that same thing you feel, Lork, like this guy is a product of his environment.

Yeah. He was born out of, like, a forceful situation and, like, survived the rest of his half-orc, like, half-brothers just being murdered by the tribe because they're like, ah, you're human, kill them. This guy survived and was raised up to a high rank, you know, and this was going to be his big moment. So even though he was evil, even though he was your enemy,

for him, this was his big moment, and it didn't work out because he made a bad move. He killed Roderick. Yeah. even though he was evil, even though he was your enemy, for him, this was his big moment, and it didn't work out. Because he made a bad move. He killed Roderick. Yeah. And that screwed up the plan. And Cotrezor, who's seen this before, feels pity in so much as,

not like this guy's obviously a bad guy and caused the death of millions of people, but he just feels bad about the situation, about the world they live in. And Screed is emblematic of that yeah um a product of the system and he you know tayari and the other uh you know sort of acolytes uh tend to you guys wounds and give you a place to stay for the night obviously galabras you have have your blood-soaked cot to return to. Oh, it's still here. What a comfort. And actually, Galabras, you're awoke the next morning by Tayari, and she says, there's someone here to speak to all of you.

It's Halgra of the Blackened Blades. Oh, shit. The boss. I've been trying to talk to her since episode one. She's been waiting. I didn't want to wake you. She understands you, the wounds that you have went through. So when you're ready, if you want to gather the others.

Five more minutes. I'm not a snooze button. Snooze. What if? Perhaps for a donation, I could be a snooze button. I just have a quick, what if Screed is one of Haber's children? Oh, God.

Because she had, like, lots of Bork lovers. Yeah, that's true. But she did it willingly, whereas Screed was pretty clear about his mom. Awake the others. They should know of this. Okay, so you go upstairs, and there's Marissa McCarthy. What's her name?

Melissa McCarthy. Melissa McCarthy. There's Melissa McCarthy just standing there, beat up Melissa McCarthy. And she is just in awe of the four of you. She's like, tell me what you know. We tell her. You tell her. And she says, yes, the twisted nails.

I knew this. We found the banners of these orcs hidden in the hills, all with an iron spike on it. We knew it was the twisted nails, but the twisted hearts, I... That was a tribe of orcs and giants from years and years ago. That tribe was wiped out long ago.

Have you ever heard this name, Grinsledeck? Grinsledeck is... Grizzledeck. I don't know how it's pronounced. Ah, yes, Grizzledeck, yes. No, Grinsledeck... Grizzledeck. Grinsledeck is the, and she tells you what,

was it Baron already knew? Was it Baron, I believe? Yeah, Baron got the... Knowledge local, or one of you got that he was the hill giant leader of the Twisted Nail Orc tribe, but now, in this letter, is proclaiming herself the leader of the Twisted Heart tribe, so she's like, maybe they're rebuilding.

Maybe they're rebuilding this tribe of orcs and giants. They're reconstituting this dead tribe. This is dire news. You should know that you're being hailed as heroes throughout the town. The minute you walk out this door, there is a ticker tape parade ready to cheer you on for saving the town, and I urge you to take part in it, to take part in this momentary joy,

but the fact of the matter is, if these twisted nails were involved, and there's mention of twisted hearts, I would think that it's only a matter of time, even with this half-orc saboteur's death, that they will attack again. Am I just being crazy

or do you believe this? No, we've found among the findings in the caverns, we came across a map hidden in one of the artifacts. We think this may be something to look up, something to check after.

And you show it to her, I'm assuming. Oh, yes, this is, I mean, this is out of my jurisdiction, but clearly that's no rock. Algris Screed was merely a tool used by these, by this Grinsel deck. Before long, she'll send another. We have to find them. We have to stop them before they gain

strength. Yes, one must assume she has many tools in her box. What have you heard? She says, Cursed, come here. And you see out of the shadow, you guys weren't even like, you're still in the zone. Oh, God, Cursed. Is he working his way up to the mayor's aide?

Over behind them is Cursed and Jagrin. And Jagrin's been informed of everything. And he kind of sends Cursed up to talk to you guys. And he's so thankful, so appreciative that you brought peace to the, you know, at least them understanding. And they know the whole deal with Roderick. They know now the mystery's solved, everything that happened. Yeah, I mean, Tayari gave them kind of the nuts and bolts. And over time, you can kind of give them a clearer idea of how it all went down

and they're appreciative. You see this look of appreciation on their face but it's also just like God, wrong place, wrong time and this great man had to die and Kirst is just thanking you profusely and he

reiterates that there's just like throngs of people outside ready to you know hail you as the heroes that you are and he just kind of reiterates that even though True Now has weathered many orc raids in the past this attack by this tribe

the Twisted Nails, the Twisted Hearts, whoever it was was by far the most devastating in recent history you can't ever remember defending the town against anything of this magnitude. And the inner quarter is completely in ruins. Not only that, but it dealt a terrible blow to the town's morale that's only going to further heighten tensions between the humans and the half-orcs that are residents there. So if there was any sort of bridge being built between them,

now it's got even worse. You know, guys like that cleric of Abadar are going to be ranting again. It's these half-orcs, hey, I told you. So anybody that's racist is just going to kind of build that racism back up again. Fuel for the fire. Donald Trump's poll numbers go up by 15%.

Right. It's going to be a beautiful wall with a beautiful door, but you've got to get in legally. He's like, but truñalans are nothing if not perservient. What? Sorry, I've been thinking. Is that a medical condition? Perservient?

Preservient. I speak many languages. Every third episode, you have a minor stroke. There's just a lot of information. You need that week to recover. It's not too bad a certain NPC isn't here to help. What I meant to say is, I'm sorry, I'm just not good with words talking.

Tom? Rip your face off, and it's Omos from underneath. Drunk as the day is long. True now-ins will persevere, however, and the efforts to rebuild the town will begin the day after today. My father has ordered this tomb to be sealed once more, and we have decided as a community

that the ruins of the plague house be consecrated and ritually cleansed with fire to put that structure to rest once and for all. I agree. I'd like to participate in the ceremony if it's permitted. Absolutely. I think it's going to be kind of a thing. We don't want to make it into a big to-do,

but it's certainly going to be something that people are going to want to see. I think the presence of Desna would be advisable. Thank you. I didn't want to outright ask you, so it's very kind of you to offer. Helgra, I believe you had something else you wanted to ask. She says, yes, I don't quite know how to ask this because you've already done so much for the town. And as I've said before, I'm so appreciative of all that you've already done so much for the town. And as I've said before, I'm so appreciative

of all that you've done to save Trunau. Even though many people died, you have saved Trunau. But the Council of Defenders is concerned that this giant may attack the town again. And perhaps a second bid to get a hold of these items you've been talking about. I was wondering if you could join me in the meeting room at the Ivory Hall. The Council and one of our foremost members have some very important things to discuss with you, a request, if you will. The battle in True Now needs to be taken outside of True Now, and we need your help. Isn't that right, Silvermane?

Oh, yeah, I love Silvermane. And the druid, Silvermane, the mute druid, played by Donald Sutherland, comes up out of the shadows from behind and he nods very carefully and gesticulates to Halgra in a way that only Halgra understands. He's like, she's like, we need you to

march on Red Lake Fork and take down Grenseldeck and her clan. But perhaps this should be disguised. But perhaps... But perhaps we should discuss this in front of the entire council at the Ivory Hall. And the only other thing I have to say is end of book one

oh wow finale wow at this rate we'll be done in three and a half years oh wow end of book one of six books

that's how she ends congrats guys hey we lived barely Six books, yeah. Oh, wow. That's how she ends. Holy shit. Congrats, guys. Wow. Hey, we lived. Yeah. We lived. Barely. Barely.

I thought Lork was a goner, for sure. Yeah, I did too. I seriously did. When one hit does 16 damage and he can do two attacks in a round, that's so dangerous. And if Gormley had got cocky up there and stayed for maybe just a round too much with that damage. Galabras too. I thought, oh, he's a giant.

He can take it. He doesn't have the hit points. Well, we had to run. I'm glad we ran. I could have taken a hit. But the other thing that was about me that didn't really come into play, that you're having to roll really poorly. If you'd rolled as well as you did earlier, I would have been screwed.

But I get plus four against giants with my defensive training. And you're just sitting back there firing these bullets that are just chipping off pieces of bones. Like you were softening them up. Hoping it does something. Really, really crazy. So we are going to start book two with like a council meeting. Got to go to the ivory hall. Yeah, that's so cool.

There were some big, like that was like the conglomeration of all the hot shots like right in one room there yeah this is algra to grin cursed silverman like they're all the no joke people running true now council of elrond yeah or like the end of every harry potter book where everyone shows up in the you know the infirmary room to explain a lot of things. You're a wizard, Harry. I'm also, I'm excited to be out of battle and talking, not just,

uh, to have, you know, the exposition and the change of pace and the different type of episode. But as much as we get info from our own roles and trying to talk to enemies, we somehow hog tie with a bottle cap. Um, our own roles and trying to talk to enemies we somehow hogtie with a bottle cap um it'll be great to be able to like turn to someone who might be kind of an expert and just ask them questions and maybe get some more info yeah totally i'm really curious about like the history of this

this hill and where these caverns and the twisted hearts like what is that clan and the tribes who were they old school who that giant was and why was he underneath Trinidad and he was and you saw all those wounds on him like was

why was he there why was he hidden there and now and now this tribe is looking for something else in the mountains and they must be that's why they want the stone

right because it's a map yeah because it's a map to something else everybody's looking for some shit it's a map. Yeah, because it's a map to something else. Everybody's looking for some shit. It's cool, too, because going through the era we're going through, and perhaps if we ever follow that map through the Mindspin Mountains,

it leads to... If we ever follow the map. No. If we don't die before we ever get a chance to. We could open a cobbler shop and just retire. No, man. I'm just going to stick with shift management. I'm Alicia. I just love the shift in Joe from, we're all going to die.

We're dead. There's no point. Come on, Joe. If we ever get all this. So, no. It's cool going through the Mindspin Mountains. That gets to a major orc city that used to be a sky citadel yeah that's right uh cold car and it's kind of um a really cool place if we ever get

there um and it'll get baron itch and to kind of he would be the only one out of all of you to know that it was that everyone just knows it as the name of this orc city. But I have some big feelings about that. And thinking about even heading along that path in the gemstone is really interesting to Baron as a character. Yeah. And I'm excited to just open our horizons. Yeah, I mean, you've pretty much done everything you can.

To go on an adventure. Yeah, to go on an adventure. To take the fight to them. Yeah. Gormley can find it out of the city again. done everything he can to go on an adventure yeah to go on an adventure to take the fight to them yeah you know Gormley can buy it out of the city again and I just want to make sure

that there is a merchant in town that has a large amount of ghostbane dirge spells in case we deal with a lot of shadow rats out there

oh I can't believe you one hit my dire shadow rat fuck your rat bro well I you know I have to think of

a good way to end this episode this very momentous episode because we can obviously talk about this forever so I will say that you you walk outside and they're just people upon people the few remaining citizens you know obviously it's a lot of people the remaining citizens but true now just uproarious applause you know you see the sadness on their faces but this is a moment of we won we won we survived and you're all survivors and as you're filled with this spirit of the group you advanced to fourth level oh we'll see you next week i'm bringing my fourth level character shit fourth level bitches shit hey Troy fuck you yeah for good

measure from you fuck you Outro Music