The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 283 - Chainspotting

Episode Date: June 22, 2021

As the heroes enter another floor of Ironcloud Keep, a series of traps may end this new party before it even begins. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Getting you started. This fall at Keanu College in Fort McMurray, we offer small class sizes, competitive tuition fees, and a flexible learning environment to make it easy for you to live, work, and study locally. By providing high quality education, skills, and training necessary for your future, Keanu College is focused on getting you started. Learn more at keanu.ca slash ykeanu. That's keanu.ca slash w-h-y-keanu. Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. Sheriff, is that you? Will? What the hell are you doing here?

The heroes reconnected. By my stars and garters if it isn't Sir Willem McKenzie Wittek. And set off to explore the next level of the castle. In front of that is a steel gantry at the base of this dismantled

winch next to a gaping square mouth of a dark shaft in the floor. But will their emotional reunion? Sheriff, allow me to go in and take a look. Should there be any danger inside, I would like to face it first. Leave them blind to the dangers ahead? But Nestor, our slayer, our rogue, senses something else and looks over at the shaft

and sees that coiled chain slowly making its way right around Lexington's leg. Oh, no! The adventure continues now. Am I the only one that right before an episode, or not even right before, but right when it starts, I go to take a drink of water, and I've already drank it all right before we start. Like, I fill it up, and then we just start gabbing. And now it's gone.

I have like three sips left, and I'm like, I've got to save it. I've got to save it for the next hour. Precious water. Living in the world of mad max as we do we have to treasure every drop knowing that we'll never have any more probably there was something that could be done you could wear you could uh you need your your fluid collection from your still suit oh that would be good yeah they should they should make real still suits i don't know no they shouldn't no i think that's like one of the parts of the book that just i'm

like i don't want to really drink that water yeah it just sort of made me gag all the time i mean he takes pains to explain when he introduces the concept that you smell real bad when you wear a still suit. Just drinking your BO water. And it's like water from like your poop and stuff. And your sweat and your urine. All of it. You cry like you're drinking that. That's gross. That's what you got to do when you're in the desert.

Oh, right. I forgot that Skid hates tears. They're gross to him. I hate them. You don't like tears? No. You don't like to cry or you don't like seeing people cry? No, I love crying, but I hate like if someone is crying and they like put their tears on me, I to him. I hate them. You don't like tears? No. You don't like to cry or you don't like seeing people cry? No, I love crying, but I hate, like, if someone is crying and they, like, put their tears

on me, I'll throw up and punch them. Oh, so physically others' tears. I'm repulsed by other people's tears. What about a woman that you're amorous with and the lovemaking is so beautiful and you're so passionate and your girth alone brings her to tears. You know what, Troy? You joke, but it happens all the time. And I have to physically...

Remove yourself from the situation. Yeah, I just have to grit my teeth. But what about that one time your tears intermingle and become a new combined set of tears gross a super tear from which from which you gain the power to unseat the evil emperor that is ruling in this universe yeah gross i've never heard of someone not liking others tears i thought you were gonna say like i can't

i can't deal with people's like emotional expressions no that's fine as long as they can cry all they want as long as it's not squirting on me so if you're like at a really sad occasion and you're like hugging someone to comfort them and like their tears are felt on your neck you're like violently trying to not throw up on their punch them i'll punch them on the face i I'll comfort them lovingly up to the point that they get any of that liquid on my body. All right. So PSA, if you're watching The Yearling with Skid, don't hug him. Stay on the other side of the couch. Samantha will back me up, and I also want to apologize to her for Troy's imaginary scenario

that he just paused. Imaginary? want to apologize to her for troy's imaginary scenario that he just paused imaginary it's not real i'm sorry i indulged it even for a moment i was there 25 years ago today i feel like we should get we should all get that on the back of our business cards it's like you know you know name glass kind of network on the back i'm sorry i indulged troy for even 20 seconds that's our corporate motto for sure oh god sorry i was there when he said that i'm down i'm down to two sips better start crying just think of something really sad i know or i'll just water world it um i don't know the idea of saying hold on a second i gotta go get some water i just can't do it in the middle of recording i try to keep it makes an easier edit normally i would say go ahead and get some water but it the reason you drink all your water is because it takes us like 45 minutes to

amp up to a recording. It really does. We're very, very slow with this show more than any other. It takes us a long time to record one episode. That we is generous, by the way. That is a very inclusive we that is really an I. Is it just me? I don't want to brag, but on my shows, we're in and out. We really are.

We're in and out. Yeah, I'd be laboring. It can't just be me though it's just it's just you joe was on the phone for 45 minutes well that's true does do other business before delta green get in the trunk recordings a lot now he's he puts his camera off a lot and like does a bunch of stuff and the thing is i will use joe's um procrastinating to my advantage yeah you that's exactly what happened i love it when someone else has something to do i'm like great we don't have to start it was kind of like they were feeding each other because i feel like you were you you were spinning your wheels and joe was like all

right let's get on the phone for 45 minutes and then you're like oh joe's on the phone i had no intention of being on the phone for 45 minutes it was you know less than stellar customer service it was an unpleasant sounding for 45 minutes for sure and uh yeah it's all you troy it's all you because it really only comes down to one thing you don't want to play or start and we all really want to play and start now now i understand it what like when we were like granted is delta green like i'll just keep the camera off when we're connected and i'm doing other shit and i'm just like i have like i don't have that extra desire to just get the fucking thing rolling because i'm like i'm doing other shit and i'm just like i have like i don't have that extra desire to just get the fucking thing rolling because i'm like i'm just stressed about the episode so i don't

want to jump right in i think that you just some and somewhat consciously but somewhat subconsciously just keep delaying yeah it's not that i don't want to play because i don't enjoy it i don't want to play because i i'm so worried about the episode being amazing that I don't want to start and have it not be. Yeah, see, that's the thing. My shows, I don't care. I have no expectations or desire about the quality at all. But I will say, also, in your defense, that the shows that I'm running are still all,

everyone's at a very low level. Yeah, that's true. So it's way easier to prep than anything you're doing on this show. Yeah, that's a headache, too. I'm just like, oh, oh, God. I'm going to get so much wrong, no matter how much I look at it. I used to just sit here and be totally left at the whims of Troy's desires,

and I would read the New York Times. I'd read it again. I'd read the obituaries a third time. And instead of being, bernice you let such a great bernice you're some like floridian pensioner yeah i mourn bernice on a daily basis ever since i've read her obituary but today i brought a rule book for new game who this i got into that because i knew there was going to be too much time before we got to our first recording and i was right oh Oh, my God.

Same thing. I don't know if any of you guys noticed, but this is going back months. But we were coming in for Glass Cannon. I knew Troy's schedule. And so I just had stacked right next to me Dr. Greenhammer's guide and the agent's handbook right on the table. It's just like, might as well prep some of this. I used to think you just needed a stage manager or producer just to say, it's go time. And then you would just go.

Because it's always fine. It always works out. But then we start doing Glass Cannon Live, and I realized the tradeoff is that it will be fine, and you will just go at go time. Except you're just very brutal in the intervening pre-show period. I've got to get amped up. I was listening to Rascal Flatts in the car today.

That was getting me going. But I still need an hour of pacing when I got here.'ll throw you a bone i'll throw you a bone i'll take some of the uh some of the blame on all finally on all of us in a way i think it's it's hard it's also hard to deny that we don't get together very often and so when we come in to record glass cannon there's also the business element. It's like, it's so much easier to get like business decisiony stuff done, you know, when we can all just sit around and chat and that usually will go pretty long.

Yeah. My suggestion is just that we put it after our first episode. It's a great idea. It's not a bad idea at all. Over lunch perhaps. Yeah. Yeah. But then we all,

so we take an hour and a half business meeting. Then we do an episode. And then we get lunch. And we sit in silence eating lunch. Yeah, we don't talk at all. For 40 minutes. Yeah, shoving sushi in our mouth. We're like reading our...

Like Joe's watching a true crime documentary. I'm reading a book. Skid's over on the other side of the room just trying to get away from us all. Yeah, this space used to be a lot bigger. Troy is sending one of us an email yelling at us about something while we're in the room.

I don't want to berate you in front of the rest. The group. Yeah. Well, even the banter is just more procrastination. Yeah. No kidding. It's where it comes from.

Yeah. It's just like, the more we talk, the less we have to play. And the less chance that it won't be good. Totally normal. Totally normal thinking. If only there were a trained professional who could talk you through some of these psychological processes that you go through on a regular basis.

Do you see a therapist, Matthew? I have not. Oh, okay. You really like selling them, though. Never? You've never sat in a room with a therapist? Not never. I feel like you're going to say that. Because I've got an uncle that really needs work. Yeah, that's how you find a therapist. Because that's how you sell them.

You're asking a co-worker. Do you have any family members or friends of the family who dabble in therapy? We're sponsored by therapists on one of our shows probably get a discount um you could use our code but the problem is like my idiosyncrasies don't bother me they bother you so you should see the therapist yeah that's a fair point that's yeah i can't imagine that's a yeah i don't know how you're going to overcome that narcissism

really sounds like a you problem where i'm sitting i think one of the first things you could talk to about your therapist is gratitude for the four people that put up with your nonsense at all times um for free right you don't get paid i should get paid all right like a gift for us. A gift, yeah. If you did it. It could be our Christmas and birthday if you decided to do that. We don't get gifts anymore.

We don't. We should do a Secret Santa so we all get something. Can we do an off Christmas Secret Santa, like a summer Secret Santa? Thanksgiving Santa? Yeah. Christmas and July Secret Santa. I like that. Ooh, that's fun.

July's coming up. What's the limit? 20 bucks? No. 3,000. July, Secret Santa. I like that. Ooh, that's fun. July's coming up. What's the limit? 20 bucks? No. 3,000. 3,000 dollars. Can I charge my gift to the company? Wait, if it's a 3,000 limit, is there a floor?

Because I don't want to spend three grand and then get a $100 gift back. 3,000 limit sounds like there's a built-in floor. Oh, that would be a fun Yankee swap, though. Three grand limit, people would be fighting. Like, I want that computer. Oh, my God, yeah. Just, like, show up with this. Christmas gift exchange with a fucking Razer gaming computer.

Like, all tricked out. French is like, oh my God! Well, that's what I used to do when Christmas, when I was living with Nick Lowe, is Marvel used to have the Marvel store like once a month where they would get all this sort of prototype stuff, all the licensed stuff that they would send out. They would send them samples and they want to get rid of it. So they would sell it to employees and their friends at this massive, massive discount. So we used to have Yankee Swap, my friend Dave Flomberg, back in Denver, and I'd fly back. And so the limit was like $20. So I'd spend $20 at the Marvel store and get like a $300 rosin statue of Gray Hulk or something and bring it back.

And I'd just watch everyone fighting over my gift it was great i stuck to the i thought hey i followed the rules of the yankees oh man i am not surprised by that you probably call a white elephant you uh jersey trash no i feel like i've heard depending on what company i worked for that instituted the policy They called it different things I call it a time I'd prefer to have back Oh you don't like it No it's too much pressure It's a lot of pressure It's too much pressure and then it gets nasty

There's feelings out there I would rather just give someone a gift And let them be disappointed Yeah It's like that episode of The Office I think it was the first Christmas episode. Michael gets a iPod. And then, like, he gets a shitty gift.

So he turns it into a Yankee Swap. And they're trying to explain to him, like, Michael, you can't just do that. People bought these gifts for... And he goes, Yankee Swap! And Jim, like, made specific... He got Pam and he made specific... Oh, it's all like their history together. A letter.

A very important letter. And Dwight is using it as like a nasal cleaner. He's a teapot. A neti pot. A neti pot. He's a teapot. A neti pot. Oh, man. Well, we're going to be having a Yankee swap of new characters after this episode because this is going to be a little hairy.

Now, you might be saying to yourself, Troy, we just had the hairiest of all hairy encounters. The Matthew Capitacasa of encounters. In relation to the horseshootness of the encounter encounters in relation to the of the encounter that was worth the wait that was good

talk about it in therapy appreciate it this one what could happen here is rough and I don't want you to think like is this the whole book yes and no but this is uh well we'll discuss it after the results of this episode what uh what's happening here but uh joe

you were a little upset towards the end of last week um we let the tape run uh and she just kept going i don't know what you're talking about you had two sets of stairs you guys could come up here in Iron Cloud Keep now you feel like

you've got above the engine room and now you're on like the legit first floor there was a one painted on the wall so you knew

as you were going up like oh this must be the first two sets of stairs you decided to take the one that you first approached as you started

your exploration of Iron Cloud Keep, Zephyr Hall. And right when you came up here, you started rolling some perception checks on this room ahead. It looks like a warehouse. There's these huge shelves that go floor to ceiling, like 50 feet tall. floor to ceiling, like 50 feet tall, just a little narrow passageway along the west wall to the side of the shelves leading to the back of the room, which Metra can see. There's a steel gantry also to the west before you get to that passageway at the base of a dismantled winch next to a gaping dark shaft in the floor. And you figure like, oh, this must be where the lift takes you, the lift that was a huge

trap downstairs that you released, I believe. Yeah. So going down that hole would be extremely bad. Would just be see ya, gonzo. Maybe that's actually for the best.

Yeah, maybe. Archways exiting the space to the east and the west. Now it looks a little more castle-y, a little more regal than the engine level. And then, of course, this passage to the south that you guys are coming from. Chains on the floor. Let's talk about these shelves, colossal shelves, 50 feet tall, made of steel and wood. And you see on the shelves are large objects picked from the ground, like tree trunks of fine wood and raw chunks of possibly valuable minerals and several large iron-bound containers that look like they've been opened and emptied. On the shelves. On the shelves.

On the shelves. When you came in, you're kind of like, what's going on? So you started moving a little bit closer. Sir Will just boldly, he hasn't played in a while, so he's excited. He just boldly gallops up atop his magical wolf towards the chain and the gantry in the direction of the shelves. The rest of you hang back. You all roll perception. Everybody but Sir Will hears a little shuffling towards the back of the room.

But Nestor notices that the chain is moving towards Lexington's paw. Roll for initiative. Oh, man. Roll, Rick, a roll for initiative as I take man. Roll, Rick a roll for initiative as I take my penultimate sip. I have a question. I'll allow it. Based on where Sir Will is standing now,

and he doesn't see, you took pains to point out that Sir Will was focused on other things during that perception. We need a pamphlet of Iomidae, I believe I said. But would he be able to see farther to the east and west down these hallways? You know, that's an excellent point, and since you brought it up, no. If Joe had brought it up, I would have

shown him, but he clearly doesn't care about his character to know what's around him. I mean, those are the rules of the game. Alright, I'll allow it. Yeah, you're going to be able to see down there. You're not going to see much. It looks like... Actually, you will see a little something.

You have 60 feet of low light, John? Yeah. Okay. Do you have dark vision? Yeah, he's got the goggles. He's got the goggles. Everybody's got the goggles. It's all you can see.

Everybody's got the goggles. So you see... They're like the cell phones in Calarium. Yeah. At this level, you have to. This kind of happens. Such as weird, this weird glitch on Roll20. Every time I go, first time I go to reveal, it hides.

Every single time. And I think, maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm doing it wrong. I don't think I am. All right, so you look down the hallway. You see it just keeps stretching to the east. To the west. Oh, boy.

Looks like it keeps stretching to the west, but then there are also passageways to both the north and the south, about 60 feet away. Right at the extent of your vish, you see a 15-foot wide hallway. It's daunting, I'm sure, seeing all these passageways. It's nice to see a little bit of asymmetry, I guess. Last floor was very much mirrored in every direction. And on the side of the hallway we're looking at were the kind of dumbwaiter with a chain coming out. What did you call me?

Dumbwaiter. I'm sorry. It's a very outdated term. But that side is the side that kind of branches out in different directions. So maybe it's a more multi-purpose floor than the engine room floor. When you're in Ionclaw Keep, you should expect the unexpected. Baron, what did you roll? 34.

34! So what about Keswick? 14. 14. 34! Wow. NestaCoin. 19.

19 for NestaCoin. Metronarn. 25. 25. I guess we should probably start with the surprise round, right? Let's get that out of the way. The surprise round in which both Nestor and the chain will go. Now, Joe, you're very lucky in a way because this chain has an ability that only Lexington can benefit from.

I had asked you before the show. Now, you guys have spell resistance. Oh. And Lexington does, correct? He does. This is something he gained while Will was leveling up on the road? Yeah.

During Will's new found devotion purely to Iomedae and his leaving the mundane knightly arts behind, Lexington became imbued with celestial powers and uh what it really is is it's retraining the divine bond uh from armor to mount and the divine bonded mount becomes celestial at a certain level and at 15th level it gets spell resistance amazing cool which i was like oh all right like at the time you know uh because i've never seen spell resistance work really well on a pc before like i've never really i don't think i've ever seen it on a pc yeah and it's talking about yeah i just thought that it was going to be pretty low but it's actually a pretty significant number so i think

it's going to give them like a 50 percent mischance essentially on targeted spells so the downside to that is that if i ever want to cast a spell on lexington i have to roll spell resistance really even if willing wow uh that's a good question because i had a an archetype of a barbarian superstitious that made me have to roll the chance to resist the spell even on allies but i feel like if the target is willing you do not have to roll sr that's a good thing to look up i'll do that while uh troy tries to kill sir but how can a wolf give consent i don't know that's a good question well the wolf lexington knows what he wants let's start with the chain it's going to try to grab you if i succeed and i probably will i don't

know maybe not you will uh then i to roll spell resistance against Lexington. If I fail, chain's done. Goes away. Whoa. Wow. If I succeed, you're going to have to find a new mount. Let's roll to grab Lexington. Stick it with neon green.

Might go all the way to the end. I do miss baby blue. Not gonna lie. Miss her. Oh, blue. But this show was built on the back of this one die. Yep. Good roll. 39

against your CMD. my god did i succeed against a 39 on your magical wolf yeah man okay good let's get that let's get that out of the way now now spell resistance i can't remember what said. I think you did say what it is beforehand, so keep it to yourself. This is straight up D20 plus a caster level check. Let me look at the caster level of the John that made this particular John. Now I'm confused. It used to make things easier, but when you replace every noun with john i guarantee joe got it uh oh boy yeah that's a good it's an excellent caster level here we go uh i think

it's probably around a 50 50 chance yeah 32 what's your sr 26 26 26 the chain comes out is that a dive it just flew across me the chain comes out uh and it grabs wraps around lexington's leg and lexington lets out a whale as the chain begins pulling him in the direction of the pit to nowhere staying in the surprise round it is nester coin's turn mr you gonna move or a standard i nester is, he's going to do a standard. I think he's just going to try as good a time as any to just see if he can affect this chain with his arrows. He's going to take a shot at it. Okay. That is a 32 to hit.

Okay, that would be a hit. But you notice immediately, it does no damage. So it might just be because you're using a physical attack that might not work. Because you hit it square. You're like, man, if I can't hurt it, no one can. Would the electricity damage go through? That's a good point. Did the electricity damage go through?

That's a good point. Yeah, what I'm reading here leads me to believe that the electricity damage won't affect it. Physical attacks do not hurt it. Even though that is energy attack. There's wording in here that I don't want to reveal that makes me think that it can't. So, Nestor hits it. That's useful information for all of you, nonetheless. So, Nestor hits it. That's useful information for all of you, nonetheless. At that moment, right in front of Sir Will and the soon-to-be-dead Lexington,

a creature appears. A creature that looks like this. Shpawpaw! That is some kind of weird Morningstar-wielding ghost man. Yeah, it kind of looks like a cloud-giant-y ghost, undead-y gross thing, and

it just appears and goes to attack Sir Willamette Keswick. It actually looks like the ghost in the library at the beginning of Ghostbusters, but if it was on roids.

Yeah, if it worked out a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Where are you from, originally? This is against Sir Will's flat-footed AC. It's only medium-sized. Yeah. 22 to hit.

Touch? I don't think so. I think it's just a straight up against your John. It's a miss then. And so it's not incorporeal or anything. It just appeared there? Might be, might not. But it's going against your regular AC.

And a 22 flat is a miss because I rolled garbage. Let's take it to round one. It'll be the chain's turn again. The chain is going to attempt to drag Lexington towards the pit. This is going to be a drag combat maneuver that will not provoke an attack of opportunity. The chain had a higher initiative than 34? Chain goes,

trap goes at the beginning of the round. Here we go. Ooh, not a great roll. Now remember, for every five over your CMD, it pulls you an extra five feet. This is going to be a 33 against Lexington's CMD. To do what? To drag you into the pit.

Yeah, that hits the CMD. What is your CMD? 30. 30. So that's amazing. Because it will not pull you 10 feet closer. It will only pull you 5 feet closer. So Sir Willing Lexington get yanked in the direction of the pit.

That is the chain's turn. It is now Baron's turn. Is there any type of knowledge check I can do? This is a real long shot, but I want to help Lexington out. I was thinking outside the box, because I've already thought outside the bun, to see if maybe something like protection from evil. I doubt this is a summoned evil creature, but I was just trying to see if there's any check I could do to see if this chain counted as something like that

because it's so magical, it's so strange. Hmm. Yeah, give me a knowledge arcana. That is a knowledge that Baron does not possess. That's what you need to try and figure out what magical force is happening here, and then maybe what you can do to counteract it. Got it.

Because, yeah, at this point, if that chain is still around next round and goes five over Lexington's CMD, it will pull him into the pit. No, it won't. No, because of the diagonal. Yeah. Yeah, so you've got a couple rounds. Still not great! Oh, man.

And then seeing Nestor's bolt do nothing to it. Well, okay. Maybe defeating this creature will dispossess the chain. So Baron is going to call down a swift action judgment. as the chain. So Baron is going to call down a swift action judgment. He's going to call down a judgment of protection and destruction onto himself. Okay. He is then going to cast, um, should he, well, he has a direct shot on this creature now.

He was going to cast magic weapon greater on Nestor's quiver of's Quiver of Arrows to give them an enhancement bonus. But he's going to fire at this creature because that is going to give us more information as well. Everyone else should proceed against it in case it is immune to anything. Wait, hold on a second. This Knowledge Arcana you were going to do is for the creature? For the chain. For the chain. Did you roll on the creature?

I can't roll. Is it Arcana for the creature as well, or religion? The creature would be Arcana as well. Yeah. So I can't do either. Oh, God. I mean, I could hold my action until Metra goes, but I think Metra is not really up next in the combat. I rolled pretty high.

You rolled pretty high? Mm-hmm. All right, I'll hold my action until Metra goes, and then I will take my action. Shockingly, it is Metra's turn. Oh, there you go. Well done. First things first, let me roll an Arcana on the goes, and then I will take my action. Shockingly, it is Metra's turn. Oh, there you go. Well done. First things first, let me roll an Arcana on the chain, and then on the creature. Okay.

Let's start on the chain. All right. What's your Arcana? Plus 11. Man, I miss Pembroke. Me too. Sorcerers don't get a lot of skill points. No.

26 on the Arcana. 26. This is a demonic chain trap set up by someone. And it basically, it acts like the spell Chain of Perdition. So you rolled high enough. I can tell you that it's immune to physical attacks, but there are some spells that could affect it. Like the such as? Such as

dispel magic. Disintegrate. Rod of cancellation. Sphere of annihilation. Those type spells. So Will draws out his sphere of annihilation. I mean, I could disintegrate it. He starts dribbling it like a basketball onto the chain.

Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Annihilate, annihilate, annihilate. Giant craters of nothingness in its wake. That's the real reason Will had to leave for so long, his touring with the Harlem Road Trotters. All right, let me roll an Arcana on the creature. 90, 19 for a 30. If it's available, Matthew,

and you run out of questions, I would love to know the alignment of this creature for my own purposes. Alignment or something? Alignment. All right. So this is a creature known as a spiritual ally. Oh.

So similar to spiritual weapon, this is a spiritual ally made of pure force. Oh. Okay. They cannot be harmed by physical attacks, just like the chain, but similar spells will hurt it. Okay. Yeah. It's made of pure force. That's pure force, baby. Alright. So, knowing... Oh, God.

That means I'm the only one who can hit it. Well, maybe Sir Will has some abilities. But I feel like I gotta save Lexington. The only things that can damage it are those spells? Spells like that. Okay. Wow.

I might have an option, but it's weird, and Troy's just gonna say no, but we'll see. All right, I gotta save Lexington. Then I better save Lexington. I'm gonna do a quick perception for a rod of cancellation on the ground, in the rubble. Wait, maybe on the shelf. I think you see one in the pit. Do you want to get closer? Jump in.

There's one taped to the wall in the side of the pit. Metra is going to rush up behind Lexington and Sir Will, grab them both, and Dimension Doris. Nice. Down the corridor here. Not too

far. Do I have control of these? I think I do. Just to free Lexington from the chain. Okay, so you zip to the east? Zip to the east. Oh, dear. Don't start another encounter. I know.

I didn't mean to. Agro another. Stampede of wild bison. And then Metro will use her quick and metamagic rod to do mirror image on herself. Okay. Beautiful. Great. All right.

So you walk up, touch Sir Will... And Lexington. And Lexington? Yeah. I took them both, didn't I? Oh, you took them both. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, and we've done that before.

When they're grappled, they just still go, right? I don't Yeah, that's right. Yeah, and we've done that before. When they're grappled, they just still go, right? I don't see why not. Yeah, I feel like we've done it before. Yeah. Metro's done it before. Okay, so you guys just get out of there, leaving the ghost behind, the spiritual ally. I obviously share all the knowledge I recalled with the group as well.

Baron, do you want to take your turn? Yeah. recalled with the group as well baron do you want to take your turn um yeah i mean i mean knowing this knowledge from metra about how to attack it i'm just kind of scratching my head at my character sheet the only thing i could think of is i have an ability i've never used before which is to make my weapon axiomatic which would make it lawful and damage chaotic creatures, but this is an ally. You made it seem like it's not a summoned creature, like it would have no effect against it, even if it was chaotic.

Are spiritual allies allies of creatures? Do they have to be summoned like a Verxius? It's a spell somebody would have had to cast or some sort of power, yeah. So it's likely that the sound we heard coming from the back of the room last episode is probably right. The source of it. Could be. No one has been injured thus far, correct?

Not yet. Okay. This is such a bummer. It's tough. It's very, very tough. Because that chain's stillmer. It's tough. It's very, very tough. That chain's still there. Yeah. I'm going to cast Lend Judgment on Nestor.

So you get to choose between Sacred Protection plus two to your AC or Sacred Destruction plus three to add three damage to everything. It's not much, but I figure I might as well keep you safer without a lot of other options to do. And that'll end Baron's turn. You sound sad. Yeah, I mean, I was hoping that one of my newfound Inquisitor abilities would allow me to attack these creatures,

but based off of Metra's assessment, they seem kind of untouchable right now by us physical weapon users. Well, this is just a trap and an ally. I think we're still waiting for the actual enemy to show themselves. Right. And I think that will be—your gun will be just as useful as ever against them. Sure. All right, well, Nestor, what would you like to do, if anything? Yeah, I'm kind of in the same boat as everybody but Metra.

I can't. Nestor, he can't do anything useful. So I'm just going to hold. Just going to hold. Hope that whoever, whatever, hopefully physical being did this is responsible for this shows up at some point. Let's go over to Sir Willemette Keswick. First round back. Give him a big round of applause.

Yeah. First round back. Way to go. Almost lost his wolf. Yeah. Almost lost his wolf. That was indeed scary for a moment. Metro placed you in a nice line for a charge, though.

She really did that perfectly. Just like putting on an old pair of pants. She truly did. This is a very strange situation to be in. Can Metra know from her check how the chain moves and what its range is? Can it just, like, if I get up within 30 feet of it, will it just, like, go out 30 feet again

and grapple and start dragging? She doesn't know, but you do know you were within 10 feet when it went after you. And did it seem like it was at the limits of the chain? Was it, like, stretched pretty taut,

or was there, like, plenty of chain to go? Pretty taut. Pretty taut, okay. All right. No slack in that chain. Ain't no slack in that chain to go. Pretty taut. Pretty taut. Okay. Alright. No slack in that chain. Ain't no slack in that chain! Okay.

Oh. Okay, I'm gonna try something here. He is going to drop his lance on the ground, and he's going to say, Okay, Lexington.

Get me closer. As close as you can. Keep an eye on that chain. And he's going to ride right back in to the creature. And he's going to have to stop there, unfortunately. But he's going to ride in turn and he's going to

try to touch the creature. Okay. With a Lay on Hands. Whoa. Reaches out to touch it and enact a new ability that he has, which is, and this is from untraining his archetype and retraining sort of just as a normal paladin. Which gives him access to mercies, which give his Lay on Hands added benefits.

One of which is the mercy Ensorcelled, which acts as dispel magic. Oh, wow. So he can act as dispel magic as part of this move. Oh. Yeah. All right, you're going to need a successful melee touch attack, which won't provoke an attack of opportunity, and the creature does not receive a saving throw.

Now, it says undead do not receive a saving throw. This isn't technically undead, I don't think. Well, I still don't think it gets a saving throw. This isn't technically undead, I don't think. Well, it doesn't. I still don't think it gets a saving throw, right? Right. It's a caster level check that I have to roll. Right. Is this the cool thing you were thinking of doing? You were like, Troy's not going to let me do it? Because it says

you can use it to damage undead creatures. I'm trying to see if this thing counts as undead. No, no. He's not using I'm not using it to damage undead. I'm using it to dispel magic. Right. Ah, okay. Oh, I didn't listen to this. It's one ongoing spell that has been cast on a creature or

object to temporarily suppress the magical abilities of a magic item, and this is where I'm hoping we come in, or to counter another spellcaster's spell. Dispel magic will absolutely work on it. You've got to hit AC 10 and then... With a touch attack.

With a touch attack, yeah. All right, so I just have to not get a natural one. What's Lexington's spell resistance, by the way? 26. Okay, I got it. I had to roll spell resistance to cast Dimension Door on the touch. Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh, no, I didn't.

I'm sorry, I looked it up. Dimension, you only have to roll it for an object. Lexington is not an object, obviously. Oh, okay. I am not an object! Yeah, so start with the touch attack and then we'll roll to see if you dispel it. Okay.

Natural 20. Sir Will's first attack roll! Magic crit! That's technically a crit. It is, that's an attack. It doesn't do anything because there's no damage associated with it. Yeah, but you might get some fun bonus. It'll double your caster level check.

That would be amazing. You still haven't confirmed it, and Joe could roll a natural one. That's true. Just to make sure. Well, I mean, it's still going to be... I mean, it has to confirm, right? Yeah, as long as you don't get a one. Yeah, against AC 10, it's a 25.

Okay, great. I mean, it has to confirm, right? Yeah, as long as you don't get a 1. Yeah, against AC 10, it's a 25. Yeah. Okay, great. Let's talk about Dispel Magic after you see what this crit is, see if there's anything that we can work into being relevant. Let's all read the tome that is the description of Dispel Magic. Yeah, I know. It's just a caster level check. I'm pretty sure for this.

It's a targeted Dispel. Targeted Dispel, yeah. Okay, so this one is by Sheard. Oh, this. It's a targeted dispel. So this one is by Jake in Las Vegas. Conveniently enough, Jake in Las Vegas by sheer dumb luck.

You've gone and done it. You've put yourself in yet another dangerous, nay, possibly deadly situation. This time, though, you feel Lady Lux General Caress guiding you. The next time you would miss with a melee ranged or ranged spell attack, if it hits instead for normal damage, this crit resolves double damage as normal. So it's a double damage crit, and your next miss is a hit. That's huge.

Yeah, that's great. That's a great crit for you. It is. Oh, so you got a little bonus. That's huge. Yeah, that's great. That's a great crit for you. It is. In this situation, it's absolutely perfect. That's awesome. Okay, by sheer dumb luck. Thank you, Jake. All right, so now the caster level check.

D20 plus whatever your caster level. Plus, yeah, it's caster level. Yes! Oh, nice. Yes! 34. Oh! It was a natural 19 oh do you have to oh that's awesome wow huge huge huge huge wow that's amazing wow never worked yeah i know i know it's just so weird like I always pictured this being used on an ally

because it's part of lay on hands but it says it acts as dispel magic this is a weird and it uses the paladins level as her caster level maximum 20 wow yeah okay maybe it's not 100% right but to me it's in the spirit of what that is and that to me is the most important so very cool

you have dispelled the spiritual ally. So, let's go back to the top of the order here. The chain is, it just kind of like reaches out,

flavor reach at you, Sir Will, and it can't get you to slap it at the ground. It goes taut, like reaching for you. Like a snake, just out of reach. And so then it goes to Metra's turn. Okay, Metra will come back towards the group and just duck

just inside the room here and she will disintegrate the chain. One other question too before you do. Metra has 120 feet of dark vision. Does she see anything else down the hall? Interesting question. Wait, I'll go back to where I was.

No, wait, we're all under the impression that there's a caster in here somewhere, right? Or just the spiritual ally just lasts indefinitely like for hours and hours or days or... There's a good chance there is one. It's hard to tell. You don't know because you haven't seen anything. I actually can see further down both hallways from where I am. Oh, wow.

Okay. All right. Let me give you what you saw when you first took Sir Will down here. This is going to be pretty significant. Can you show me your reach down to the west or the east, rather? Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Hang on.

I got to zoom out. I got to zoom out. My reach is just too far. Was it 120? 120. Okay. So you do see a room up ahead with some... And the corridor keeps stretching past that room.

But up ahead, there is like a bare room except for a low circular dais standing in the middle. Maybe some inscriptions on it and then the hallway continues and then the other way now that you moved back um or move to where you're going to move yeah so the farthest i would get is that far which i'll get show you my 120 feet okay it's just going to be more hallway stretching to the west. Great. But you do see, you know, 60 feet, and it breaks open to the north and the south. Okay. Can I roll perception before I move,

just to see if I hear anything coming down the other hallway or see anything? Yeah. Not a great roll. 25. You don't hear anything. Okay. All right. It's probably quiet on this level.

Maybe it's empty. Maybe they all went home. Maybe they all went home hear anything. Okay. All right. Probably quiet on this level. Maybe it's empty. Maybe they all went home. Maybe they all went home. Fuck this adventure. All right. I'm going to disintegrate the chain. Okay. What is that?

Cash or level check? Range touch. Range touch. 26. 26, I believe. That is enough. Should be enough. Yep. That is enough. Should be enough. Yep.

That's enough. All right. Now, if the object is magical, it does affect it. It even affects objects constructed entirely of force, but it does get a fortitude save if it has a saving throw. Or if it's like a magic object cast by somebody else doesn't use their that's what i believe yeah and that's at least what i'm gonna do because that sounds right because their fortitude save is awesome their first to say it was a plus 40 so i'm gonna go with that no okay uh all right i'll roll that let me just find said person

they're just they're on another page sure. Oh, so they're not here. There's been a lot of traps. They're somewhere. There's been a lot of traps. That's true. There have been a lot of traps. Oh, I wonder if it's all sourced by one caster. And this could actually just be a trap.

Couldn't this just be a trap that we saw? The chain is a trap. I'm not sure if they... But the spiritual ally trap? Couldn't they both be? Couldn't a trap that triggers a spell? Couldn't that be true? Could be.

Well, it was a natural one. All right! Nice. Do you want me to roll the... Oh, let me see what this would be here. Is it 15d6? It would be 30d6. No, but yeah, for shits and giggles.

As the chain just evaporates. Leaving nothing but chain dust. 94 points of damage. There we go. There we go. There we go. Disintegrated. Of course, that spell is now gone. Yeah.

Using up spells. Okay, great. Chain's gone. Spiritual ally's gone. Out of combat. Yep. Well, I can take you out of combat if you want, or you can stay in initiative order.

It's up to you. Let's stay in initiative order until we clear this room. Okay. Baron, you are up. Is there... Do we have memory of what direction we heard that shuffling from? Back of the room. Back of the room.

All right. Then Baron is going to double move. You know what? Since this is unusual time to buff, he's going to cast Magic Weapon Grader on Nestor's Quiver, making all of, well, 50 of his arrows plus two. Nice. And we'll move for 30 feet. Okay.

Standing shoulder to shoulder with Sir Willamette Keswick. Yes! The Sheriff and Sir Will! Back again. So Baron rolls up right next to Sir Will after casting a spell. And we'll do a perception check as well, just in case. Comes up roses. That will be a 33.

33? Nothing. Don't hear anything. Nestor Coyne's turn. Nestor... Man. Yeah, Nestor's gonna move north a little bit, get a little bit closer

to Sir Will and Baron. And, God, I don't know. I'm going to do my own perception check, not trusting the two of them. They can't be trusted. They can't ever be trusted, to be honest. Ooh, that is a high roll. And let me get off my screen here that is a 41 uh 40 48 against traps 41 48 against traps

you hear again just like footsteps it sounds like footsteps far in the back of the room and, like, maybe with a 41 breathing. That's it. By the back of the room, you mean the north end? Ping, the northern part? Even further back, yeah. Okay. Yeah, Nestor, like, uses hand signals, like, points over towards the far end of the room where he thinks that's coming from yeah i can totally picture this yeah yeah yeah

so yeah pointed his ear and like so yeah i but that's all I can do. That's it. Single move? Yep. Okay. Great. It is Sir Will's turn. Sir Will, seeing that signal, is going to ride up towards it. And he'll ride up. So he'll spur Lexington up forward towards where the, what is that again?

Is it a crane or a, what is the mechanism next to the pit? A winch. Like a winch. A gantry. Gantry, yeah. He'll move up next to the winch and gantry and just sort of say under his breath, show yourself. And he's going to cast detect evil. Oh, that's good okay let's see if they're and it's being a 60 foot cone which would reach to the back wall and then it's a cone

let's see if he detects any evil auras over there okay so you're going to detect in the area that you can't see like the that hasn't been revealed behind the bookcases yeah i mean it would be this whole swath. Yeah, where it's a cone, yeah, you kind of can spread it out so if there's something invisible. Or behind a wall. Right, right, right. Okay, 60 feet.

And then what do you learn with that? The presence or absence of evil. You detect the presence of evil. I detect the presence of evil. Shut yourself. Down this hallway. I love that. I can totally picture that. He's just under his breath when we can hear.

Show yourself. There is great evil here. I can sense it. And this creature, whatever it is, that's watching me. Invisible! Coward! Just sees this knight sitting, a small knight sitting upon a wolf. like a hand outstretched.

Yeah. It is Metra's turn. Can I see through these bookshelves, or do they have solid walls behind them? They're floor to ceiling. They just have a tiny little bit of space on the top. I meant in the shelves. In the shelves themselves? Is there a wall behind the shelf, or can I look through the shelves. In the shelves themselves? Like, is there a wall behind the shelf, or am I looking, can I look through the shelf?

Like, from where you're looking right now, it is just, you can't see anything behind it. Okay. If you were to move in the hallway, you would imagine it's like stacks. You could look down one hall, look down the next, depending on how many there are. But there's no, like, space above the books, like, you know, when you're in the library and you can see people and you're like, hey, this is our meat can. Oh, yeah, like, no, it's not a library like that. These are, these bookcases have backs to them.

Ah, okay. You just see a guy like, you may know where the encyclopedias are. I have to do a report on cloud giants. Do you have any books for widowers? It's so lonely up here in Iron Cloud Keep. All right, Metro will double move then to come up to the bookshelf. Okay. So you move right up to the edge of the bookshelf.

Very cool. It is... She receives Nestor's sign, makes a sign back that all received. And then she comes up to the bookshelf and is ready to go. Third base coach. You're like doing third base coach. That's exactly right. I'm doing military stuff.

You're doing baseball stuff. It is Baron's turn. Baron is going to move forward 30 feet and is going to detect alignment at will. And we'll take up my action. But he's going to detect chaos, particularly. Okay. And so just like detect evil, you will detect the presence or lack of chaos? Correct.

You can't pinpoint it, though, right? Or can you if you need a few more rounds? Okay. You detect chaos. Whoa! Chaos! It's the Joker! He's back there!

One of you has detected evil. The other has detected chaos. It's Noxymara. Moving right along, it's nester's turn all right nester getting the ping signal from the other two he he's gonna double move up to get closer so he can get a a clear view if if the opportunity avails itself, he's going to move up in front of the winch. And, yeah, double move there.

There comes a time in every Game Master's life where things just work out perfectly. Oh, no. I knew the minute I did it, I was like, why did you do that? I've had a couple of those

this book already. Nestor very, very smartly moved to the side of the bookcases. But Sir Will, Baron, and Metra are all standing in the radius. Because what you hear from the back of the room is a domino effect as the bookcases are tossed on top of the three of you oh let me just show you uh let me uh lift the gm layer here for a second um so you can see the uh the range of this bad boy this is just amazing imagine if you're sitting in my seat and you saw uh that yeah that's pretty sweet i gotta say walked right in oh no oh no let's uh where is this coming from from the back of the room from the north from the north and actually you know what well let's resolve resolve this before I tell you what you see towards the back. So 40-foot tall bookcase. Amazing.

50-foot tall. 50-foot, okay. Even less amazing, right? All right, so here's what we need to do. We're going to have to roll some very, very important saves. I can't believe three of you got in there. Everybody roll a reflex save. What is this reflex save

representing? Just avoiding the falling shelves. So I could literally jump out of the way? Is what you're saying to me. Or is I'd take some damage? You'll take half damage, so imagine they'll crash around you, but you won't get buried by them,

and you won't take full damage. I'm going to just Aether Step. You're going to Aether Step. Immediate action? Yeah. And you didn't already use a Swifty this round? I haven't. Okay.

So where are you going to Aether Step to? I just say in place. I'm just on the Aetherial. Oh, you just... So you see Metra, like a member of the X-Men, just phase out. Kitty pride.

Sir Will and Baron, give me those reflex saves. 29 from Baron. Sir Will? 32. Lexington? We'll roll over with Sir Will. They share everything.

We share everything. I mean, he's a magical wolf. 27. 27. 27. That's pretty good. Yeah, high rolls. Really high rolls. Bunch of good rolls.

Can't beat good rolls in magic. Unless you have evasion, you both take 13 points of damage, and you are not trapped under the wreckage of the shells, which would have been a DC 25 strength check or DC 30 escape artist check and a full round action to free yourself. Oh, yeah. Troy, I'm going to go ahead and take four points of damage.

Four points of damage! Wait, why? Because I feel like it. What? No, I'm just kidding. I was trying to figure out where the number four was coming from. Why four? Is it DR9?

It's got DR9 against bookcases. In the back of the room, standing there, having clearly pushed these bookshelves at you, is an enormous, enormous taiga giant. Oh, my goodness! For our beautiful listening audience, go ahead and give me that description. Oh, my God. She's got a spear, red hair. She looks like Gristlecrack

on crack! The skin is put together in kind of like a conglomerated Frankenstein-y way, but makes it look like a construct or a golem in terms of like there's scar tissue or something piecing this horrendous blue flesh together. It's like a lava rock. It's like a plate, like armored plates.

And the armor has a bunch of fur hide on it. It almost looks like a barbarian holding a terrifyingly large spear, I would imagine. If it wasn't being held by a giant, it would look enormous. Oh, my God. She's holding the spear in a way that makes it look like she knows how to do all sorts of flippy floppy moves with it. Yeah. Like Star Wars kid. Flippy floppy moves with it yeah like star wars kid flippy floppy uh she throws

that down the uh the case that's in front of her is still giving her a a little bit of cover but not much she is fully visible to you um i don't understand that there's a shelf between us and her but she's fully visible yeah so there's so it's just covering half of her waist, basically. She's pushed that down and it toppled in front of the next one like dominoes. So what I'm saying is even though the shelves are down, you can't just run over this broken shelf. You have to go around. She probably can because she's huge, mechanically huge.

You guys are little, so she could easily step over the broken shelves, whereas you guys have to go around, unless you want to treat it as difficult terrain. You're welcome to do that. Let's just keep going. I imagine that was a standard for me to do that. Yeah, so she has exposed herself, and the gambit may not have paid off

because you're all still visible! And unburied. Metra, you're up. Okay, Metra phases back onto the material plane. That's so cool. You like, vroom, and then like the minute you're safe, like vroom, you come back. I mean, it's pure Kitty Pryde.

Yeah, totally, totally Kitty Pryde. Unfortunately, though, I can only move this round. You know, Kitty Pryde. Unfortunately, though, I can only move this round. You know, Kitty Pryde goeth before a fall. That's right. Well done. I thought you'd enjoy that. Falling bookshelf.

Okay, so yeah, she can only take move or free actions. I'm assuming this wouldn't be Arcana or Plains, right, for Tiger Giant? Arcana or Plains, no, it Tiger Giant? Arcana or Plains. No, it would be local. Okay. So, yeah. Mesh is just going to move back. And all of this is difficult terrain, you said, right?

Yeah. All right. So she will double move back, just straight back. Create a little distance between you and the Tiger Giant. Yeah. Great. It is now tagger giant. Great. It is now Baron's turn. Okay, I was just reading up on domain

powers and the power I'm about to use does not have any standard action, free action, swift action associated with it. I'm going to treat it as a standard action because I believe most domain powers are done that way. I am going to infuse a staff of order into my weapon making it axiomatic oh yes for four rounds it will

add 2d6 worth of damage against any chaotic creature awesome awesome. Awesome. Axiomatic. Cool. Do you want to move? Was that a standard or was that a Swifty? I'm saying it's a standard. It doesn't say. I'm saying it's a Swifty. I mean, I could see the argument, but part of why I'm going the lenient

or the more stringent route is because I often get accused of trying to game things in my favor. I could see the argument saying that I'm holding the weapon in my hand and just infusing it with this as a swift action. But staff of order, there's a thing on Reddit that's like, what amount of actions does it take? I like standard there.

So do you want to move? Yeah, is it difficult terrain or is it normal? It is difficult, yeah. All where that debris is and when the shelves are. 510, 15 15, 20, 25, 30. So I'm just going to get out of the debris itself and next to Nestor

and that is my turn. Great. Then let's keep moving along to Nestor. I am... Nestor is going to do a knowledge local. See if he can learn anything. Okay.

Ooh, 39. 39. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I don't want to cheat before you do that. I believe you missed me, I think. Let me check.

I may have. Perhaps. No, you're after, Nestor. I moved into this space and did detect evil, and then he came up after me, and then the shelves got pushed. Right?

Am I missing it? I went before Baron. I detected evil. Then he detected chaos. You know what I mean? And so now Baron and Nestor just went. Nestor delayed at one point. Are you saying I may have skipped you before the shelves went down?

No, no. You walked up there. After the shelves went down, I believe. Oh, I skipped you before the shelves went down. No, no, you walked up there. After the shelves went down, I believe. Oh, I skipped you before the shelves went down. I must have, right? Nestor moved up there, and then the shelves went down. You were supposed to go. Oh, okay.

That's fine. So, yeah, no, you could take your turn now. You would have moved out of the way. I mean, I didn't know they were coming at that stage, but... I can't imagine you would have moved straight up, right? It's fine. If Nestor was there, I would have moved next to Nestor to sort of line up a... I would have moved where Baron is now, basically, to line up a charge. Would you have cast anything on yourself?

Yes. No. No, because I didn't see the creature yet at that point. Right. So I would have kept detecting evil, and I would have known that there was... Now I know number of Auras. Number of Auras. So there would have been one Aura.

Great. That's fair. So now you'll still get your full turn this round. Sorry about that. I was so excited to topple the bookcases. But I think that is what you would have done. So, Nestor, what do you think? Well, now he gets his turn, right?

No, because he does go after you. I just skipped it before the bookcases came down. Oh, okay. Okay, so, yeah, 39 knowledge local. 39 knowledge local. All right, so, got your classic tiger giant. You've seen one of these before, maybe two. I know Gristlecrack was one.

I can't remember if you threw another one. Sorry, another one. This one's holding a spear. remember if you threw another one. Sorry, another one. This one's holding a spear. Muscular, dark gray skin, fiery red hair, fangs.

Huge, primitive spear. They also are proficient in rock throwing. Just looking for your basic taiga giant to see. So they do have this ritual they can do where they summon spirits. They do it every day, normally, and that boosts their AC

and gives them immunity to enchantment and illusion spells. And then usually one other spell, which they can choose to be immune from each day. And, yeah, so may may very well be connected with that spiritual ally that you fought but that's that's all you know you new enchantment illusion may help you now it may help your friends and apart from the magic weapon baron what was the other did you give me? Yeah, you need to declare now if you want to take the plus three damage or the plus two to your AC. I will take the...

But I don't know if that plus three damage will stack with magic weapon. So you might be better off with it. Because I don't think you're going to be able to get to plus five. Let me see what the enhancement is. I'll just... I'll take the AC. Okay, great. Okay, so he is going to

study targets. Oh, I hate target joints. And he's going to do study target rapid shot. He's going to unleash a full attack with his newly magical arrows with old Jonetaw.

Oh, baby. Oh, my gosh. That is a critical threat. 19. Critical threat. Wow, get it! Beautiful. 19. Critical threat.

Roll to confirm. Oh, my God. Critical, critical, critical threat. Oh, man. On a multi-shot. Oh, man. That is 35 to confirm. All right, it is a confirmed crit.

However, as an immediate action You see she has this little Bracelet on her hand And one of the beads bursts And negates the crit Oh come on Oh come on That evil laugh

Oh that's terrible Sorry Patreon supporters! Don't let me! I ripped it away from you! Don't let me! Oh, God. This Tiger Giant believes in exclusively ad-supported podcasts.

Okay, so that is 58 points of damage. Okay. Juicy hit right off the gate. On the first attack. And my computer crashes. Second attack is a 37 to hit. 37 hits. That is 28 points of damage.

Okay. Third attack. 26. Third attack. Ugh. Uh, 26. 26 misses. Did you add the plus two to the two hit? 28. 28. 28 misses. And last one's a miss too. Last one is a miss. Alright, so

Nestor does what he does. Gets a couple pops off. Sir Will. I so rarely crit. That would have been awesome. know i know i saw that i'm like watch this will be the one time nobody crits and i was wrong god damn it on the many shot too i know kills me would have been massive oh that would be massive damage uh because both arrows crit right that's how no one one crits but still it's a full normal damage of the other one yeah and you fold the full damage on the other ones like a one-shot kills out yeah oh god it sucks aggravating

sucks uh all right this creature some 50 60 feet away still behind this uh bookshelf there's not a clear range for such a small statured creature creature as Sir Willamette mounted upon Lexington. Looking across, sensing the evil from the creature, he is first going to say, May I omaday smite thee? And he's going to smite evil against the creature. And then he is going to begin a prayer. Inheritor, as this thing steps behind and into range, please lend me your protection.

And his armor starts to just glow. And he casts Litany of Defense on himself, which essentially doubles the enhancement bonus of his armor. So he's just giving himself an AC buff. Little AC Buffington. And maybe to make himself a bit of a target, he'll move up five feet. He'll just spur Lexington up five feet. He's still trying to keep a distance, but wants to be a little ahead of Nestor and Baron, just in case that'll break

its tie for who to attack first. Okay, I'm going to do something and I'm going to talk to you guys and see what you think about what I want to do. I don't like it. Should I hit? So she reaches into her pouch and pulls out what looks like a fucking

igneous rock. This black, gigantic rock, and she just throws it at Will with Vital Strike. Hmm. Oh, okay. Yep. I don't know what your AC is!

He's standing there. 25? No, man 25 No way dude It hits him but the armor And the shield just Connects but it does not land A blow to draw away hit points Alright so the rock just hits the wall

And bounces and lays on the floor That's not what he said at all The opposite of what he said I honestly you guys talk at times I'm just thinking about my next thing I said it because it hit my touch ac i said it hit his armor i can picture like you raising the shield at the last minute and this thing smashing into it and pushing you back on lexington a couple of feet right he's like sparks from his pauldrons on the floor or is uh what are the feet pieces called just like as he grinds against the bottom i love

it yeah pushes you back a little closer to the gantry. Now where Baron and Nestor are standing, like they're actually in danger if they ever got like a wind blown off, but you would just get crushed right into the gantry there. Now here's the thing. She has this ability where as a swift action, she can like telepathically move the rock again to

attack. Oh, I've seen that before. I think I can use it because Vital Strike is like you make an attack, it's one attack. I don't think this is necessarily considered like an iterative attack because I actually get it at my highest attack. Didn't you say it's a swift action? Yeah, it's a swift action. You can always do a swift action with a

full attack. Right, so I'm going to do that. I'm probably going to miss. So she throws it at Will. Will throws up the shield. And then it just like. Push back. It starts coming right back magically. Yeah.

And then it will this time go towards Nestor. No. No. It comes back at Will, I said. 31 to hit. Yeah, that's a hit. Okay. This wouldn't have the vital strike on it so it wouldn't be

Here we go Damage on Nestor is going to be 29 points of damage Okay hold on Rock Will is going to cast a spell Oh He is going to

As he blocks the rock It flies away and he thinks he's fine, but then he sees it come back. And as it's about to crush Nestor, he reaches out, no, and casts Paladin Sacrifice. You open up a brief but powerful divine conduit between you and another creature, taking on the damage and any other effects that the creature suffers. Yeah, so it's magically transmitted to me the creature suffers. Yeah. So it's magically transmitted to me instead. Wow. We'll magically add three more points of damage because she's

all fired up back there. She's like, ahhh, when she threw it. So it's 32 points of damage? What did I say? 29? 29, no, plus 3. 22 points of damage? What did I say? 29. 29 plus, no, plus three. 22 points of damage. What? What?

What? Oh, I'm sorry. 32 points of damage. Yes, sorry. You having a tough time? I am. Well, you know, I got nothing else to do over here. 32 points of damage.

Yeah. Great. You shouldn't not say anything. Just be like, you got it, boss. You know it better than I do. You're looking right at the book You're looking right at it Who am I to presume It has to take less damage

Alright, it is Metra's turn Okay, Metra will Level a finger At the giant And a black ray will erupt From her finger So I got a roll to hit you. Ray!

Ooh, not a great roll. 16 against touch, I see. 16 against touch is a hit. Yes, beautiful. All right, that was enervation. Oh, cool! So you're going to take a couple negative levels. Oh, wow.

A couple negative levels. What kind of spell is Innervation? Necromancy. Can't be enchantment? It's not. So you take two temporary negative levels. Nice. Nice.

That is fantastic. That's great. Wow. No save. No save. It is spell resistance. Do you need me to roll spell resistance? I don't believe so, no.

No, I don't. All right. I was just offering it to you. You needed it. I haven't seen that one in a while. It's like a ray of enfeeblement. It's been a minute. You just don't see it that often at this high.

All right, that's absolutely huge. How long is that going to last? Hours, I believe. Okay, so I'll go ahead and remove those points. The rest of her life. She lost the rest of her natural life. You don't know! You don't know this story!

Baron, what do you want to do? Chaotic. Weapon damage. Is the array of bookshelves that she pushed down at her ankles to have a clear shot at her? Yes. Yes. Okay. Baron will expend, just within range of his weapon, three points of grit to make his first three highest attack bonus shots up close and deadly. Oh, boy. axiomatic property of the weapon combines with the up close and deadly to make each of these attacks

1d8 plus 21 plus 6d6 6d6 Cripes The first attack is going to be a 23 to hit? 6 on the die. 23 against regular AC?

Touch AC. That's a hit. So done. So done. That's a hit. So done. So done. This is awesome. I'm not going to cast any spells anymore in combat. 46 points of damage on the first attack. So wait,

is this the first damage? No, next. I'm just so bad at myself, I forgot to move. I'm reading 50 different things, I forgot to move right up in your face. I'm glad. Yeah, I hope you are. I thought you were doing that on purpose to stay behind the show. No, I just completely forgot.

Yeah, I did like 70 points of damage or something already, so. The second attack hits with a 25 for 40 points of damage. Oh, oh, oh. The third attack is a 17 on the die, so that's going to hit. Oh, those are some success. Oh, man. It's making me real happy right now.

That is 49 points of damage on the third attack. Okay. The final attack at the lowest bonus, not up close and deadly, is going to be a 22 against Touch AC. That is a hit. This is only 46, not 66.

So wonderful. 47 points of damage on the final attack. She is still very much alive. Really? Everybody roll a perception check. Oh, man. Wow. Oh, wow. 27. Dude, I cannot stop rolling

rocks right now. Sorry, that would be a 23. 42. Natural 20 for a 42. Baron lights her up And she smiles Through all of the hits

And then all of you Hear A lot of noise From behind you Oh no And we'll see you next week Oh no Oh come on.

I knew it was too easy. Troy wasn't getting angry at all at those 40-point damage rolls. He didn't care. It's a fucking gantry. Gantry. Every time it's the gantry. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015.

Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo. All Pathfinder images are property of Paizo and are used with permission.