The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 288 - Ethereal Girl

Episode Date: July 27, 2021

A stairway leading up leads to a reconnaissance jaunt on the ethereal plane. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that...

That's right! Did you know it's also covered by most private insurance plans? Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. Oh! It's like a squid tree.

It's a Cthulian squid. It's like George O'Keefe having a nightmare. A pair of nightmarish creatures surprise the party. Mettra, you take 11 points of strength. Oh, man. I fall unconscious. All seem lost. Now it's pulled Sir Will slowly into the room.

Jeez. Until the heroes discovered a key weakness. Mettra's just laying down. and just thumps it into the room. And you just hear it let out this horrible scream. Oh, it's vulnerable fire! And rallied to defeat the monstrosities. And it's dead. Oh, my God, it couldn't blow me in.

The creature falls to the ground, just writhing, twitching, spurting out black blood from this bullet wound and from the arrows sticking in its carcass. The adventure continues. And two very ominous-looking chests lie in wait. Now. As we went off the air last week, I noticed something that I had seen before we started the encounter,

and then I just let it go out of my head because I was like, oh, that's not going to matter anymore. And the thing that I saw was that those creatures had spell resistance. And the reason I threw it out of my mind is because Metro went down pre-combat. It did. And so I was like, oh, good.

I don't have to worry about the spell resistance. And it's just I took that thought out of my head, and I just threw it in the trash. And then you came back up. You fireballed me twice, and I forgot to have you roll it. So go ahead and give me two rolls for spell resistance. What the hell are you talking about? Two rolls. 21 was the first fireball damage.

40 was the second. We can go back and redo this entire combat 32 the first one I'd like your second one please oh not great 22 pass

fail and that was the 40 point big boy it was the 40 point big boy it was the big one hands off boy. It was the 40-point big boy. It was the big one. Wow. Hands off the chess piece. Isn't that too bad? As they say in the RPG business, it's really fortunate that's our standing policy.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what is the policy when it's been a whole week? Bring it back. That's all right. I'll get you on the back end. I'm sure you will.

I was rooting for you. I'm sure you will. I really wanted you to pass back end Sure you will I was rooting for you I really wanted you to I'm sure you will I really wanted you to Pass by How you doing today? How you feeling? Me? Yeah

I was good Until Matthew Brought up something Very sad A second ago Oh no No Don't dwell on it

You did You came in in a good mood Don't think about it I was like The odds of him Starting with this Are probably like 50-50 I wasn't going to Joe just said that But don't tell the audience You set me up Don't think about it. I was like, the odds of him starting with this are probably like 50-50.

I wasn't going to. Joe just said that. But don't tell the audience. You set me up for this by asking. You're going to put this in their heads the way it's in yours. Don't pretend, Joe, like you didn't know what I was going to do. And you're like, I see that wig! I'm sitting here and I'm thinking, I'm like, look at this. Look at all these rooms we're uncovering.

There's only so many rooms left. And then the adventure is over. And Matthew says something to the effect of like, it's like you only have 40 Christmases left. I compared it to the feeling of realizing that your time on this earth is finite and you should make the best of it. Well, and I mean,

to be fair to Matthew, based off of average us life to expect. And so you have more like 35. That's just depressing did i did give you i threw an extra 10 years on there for you buddy can you believe that can you believe i don't want to think you've only got 30 some christmases left that's not true a mere 15 christmases left in this by then they'll have a cure for death they have i think you're right you're right. There's got to be somebody working on this. I wouldn't want it. But as a vampire, can you celebrate Christmas?

Sure. Maybe a little different. Are vampires repelled as much by images of Santa as they are from images of the true cross? Ah, you know, that's interesting. I guess you'd have to just celebrate the superficial parts of parts of christmas and you're going to church you're just celebrating moss the name christ is in the name of the holidays yeah vampires can't say christmas i celebrate the all-empowered moss exactly that's perfect merry moss yeah you think can they not even say christmas i don't think so hey happy mass uh it's happy holidays do you think um all of the vampires eat they work at starbucks

isn't there something about like a holly steak in vampires i'm thinking of scrooge with a steak of holly through through his heart that kind of thing which like you don't want to be like a steak of whatever kind of wood through your heart as vampire is bad right yeah but isn't doesn't well no because the holly or a mistletoe date back to like druidic custom right i think so right yeah so sounds druidic if i'm remembering my first edition player's guide let me tell you something matthew this is why your theory is wrong because you forgot about christmas in july boom 80 christmases there you go that's suck my mistletoe. I prefer not because I believe that is toxic to humans.

I know what I said. Suck it till you die. What are we doing about Christmas in July? I celebrate. Lifetime brings back, excuse me, not Lifetime, but Hallmark brings back all the Christmas movies on 24-7. But we talked about doing gift exchange. Oh, yeah, that fell through, huh? We got six months.

So much for our 80th Christmas. Remember, there's a $3,000 limit? Right. Surely you'd want to take advantage of that. Damn it. You just see a sign behind Troy drop from 80 to 70. He rips it. He rips off his calendar.

Word of the day, Calend. That is depressing. I don't like going down that mind road. You haven't had that thought since you were, you know, 08? No, I never think about it in terms of Christmas. That just takes something sad and makes it even sadder. Think about all the joy you'll have in the interim. Oh, yeah.

You have to focus on that or you'll go insane. That's a lot of Christmases. Yeah. That's about as of Christmases. Yeah. That's about as many Christmases as you've had. That's more than Jesus got. Yeah. That's true. He topped out at 33

and then it was just a birthday party. No, he didn't celebrate it. No, it was just a birthday party for him. Yeah. It's like my wife born on Christmas.

Yeah. I don't even want to do this. You destroyed his psyche. I told you. Again. Completely unnecessary unnecessary but there is completely fine before you said anything good mood he was in a good mood for once and you destroyed him look at him I sense there is a part of joy that

appreciates that I know how much he thinks about death humor but it was uncalled for and it hurt me. You should know by now that you leave Christmas out of it. It's untouchable. There are some things that are untouchable. Yep. I guess I've struck a nerve.

Let's get off of Christmases, because I just got off yours. Oh! Boom. The show. There's nothing like it. The show gets stupider as it goes, which is nice. Oh, man.

Anything else depressing you guys want to talk about? How's everybody's 401k that we don't offer? I was just thinking that. Retirement. It's getting pretty sad for our generation. Yeah, think about those last 10 Christmases right now but here's the other crazy thing here we go i feel like i like especially i i enjoy christmas as you enjoy christmas troy well that's not true not as much because you enjoy it too much maybe but it feels like christmas is a fairly constant experience

in your history but you've only had how old are you 47 you only have 47 by the time of the release of this episode i will still be 42 i think i'm not 100 sure never 100 sure at this age yeah my wife and i went back and forth the other day for at least 15 minutes we didn't know how old we were yeah i have to think about it i have to like do the math i'm not 100 sure i may be 50 i'm really not sure did we miss your 50th i hope not i was born in 78 fuck you covid september 78 no just robbed a whole year 42 yeah joe what you're 40 or 41 40 41 i needed to say 41 i was born in 79 yes because there's two months Your birthday's in November Yeah There's two months That I'm two years older than you

What's my exact birthday? November How dare you September 4th That's not true 1978 That's mine I know

Because I'm your friend I just said September and 78 You had a 1 in 30 chance Of getting it right And I said I know the exact date That yours is November Am I right?

Sorry there was a little bit of interference there Troy He actually had a 1 in 31 chance There are 31 days No there's 30 days I'm going to say November 10th That is correct You're the day after my friend Abe You're my best friend

Oh Matthew made me sad You're the day after my friend Abe You're my best friend Oh Matthew made me sad I don't even want to play this game Matthew made me sad It's just so funny to me I'm just I'm transporting myself back mentally all every single one of the live shows where troy has just gone to town in a way i'm like i'm not gonna let this affect me and then

i spend the next two hours affected yeah but you you pretend like it doesn't bother you for the sake of the entertainment of the audience exactly Exactly. Whereas Troy has no such interest. I'm devastated. Devastated. You try not to think about it. You get down that mind tunnel, and it's sad. It's bleak.

Nothing. Does it feel like the before? Does it feel like the after? You know, Tolkien called it the gift of man. The Numenoreans called it the curse of man. He called it the gift of man. The Numenoreans called it the curse of man. He called it the gift of man. Well, that's a nice way of looking at it. It gives meaning to our lives.

For sure. The fact that it is limited. Embrace it. Yeah. I say. And I believe in an afterlife, too. So, like, I should be less depressed than a Matthew. Yeah.

Who believes in nothing. Who believes in nothing. Yep. I believe in making those 47 Christmases you had and the 40-some-odd Christmases you'll have left count. I'm going to pee on your grave. Just like last week. And you're going to love it.

See? I'm going to soldier forth as if that did not strike it a part of me. The image of Troy pissing on your grave. But let the record reflect. That wounded me, sir. I wonder if we'll get to a point like, you know, with the irreverence of a Monty Python, where I could eventually, 25 years from now when you die, take a picture of me peeing on your grave smiling and people be like that is hilarious what's that you ever see john cleese's eulogy for graham chappell yes that's what i'm thinking yeah yeah it's that he was like he's a lot of people are saying how

wonderful he was but i disagree it's the he was a bastard and good written it's amazing it's so great eulogy ever incredible yeah it's good i promise matthew you'll get a little troy shower pushing up daisies it's appropriate it's appropriate you would do that to him after he died because we all know that if we pee on your face you would kill yourself that's true that's true and then you'd have no christmas what if you rot what if the urine makes you rise from the dead and then you pee on me and then I kill myself and die in the final embrace? We established last week

that your urine does have strange properties, so I wouldn't put it past it. Yes. Well, this gives me a lot to think about. Maybe I'll put this

into GCP 2.0. I mean, these themes can definitely be... What, the gift of man? Explored. Yeah. The gift of man? Yeah.

The gift of man. It is a gift. It makes you want to live each day. It makes you not want to worry about the small stuff, Matthew. Yeah. Like lawyers and contracts. You love them. You love a good lawyer.

Yeah, Matthew. It's so true. Matthew loves a good lawyer so we just like i just want to be around them oh my god he's always my best my two best friends actually are lawyers he's always advocating whenever anything comes up it's like shouldn't we talk to the lawyer i think we should talk to all those things all those things it is referring to our legal contract well sure but still that's sweating the small stuff baby who's gonna look at it when you're dead here's how i see it i don't have to spend time in contracts lawyers do and i and we can you literally there are people there are professionals There are professionals

Who are experts in that field Who can handle that for you Who needs a Bunch of ambulance chasers If you ask me Think about how empty Their lives are Yeah

That's right Yeah Troy You're not thinking About the lawyers here Yeah We have a sizable Minority of lawyers Who listen to this

Podcast Yes No You guys I'm sure Are having a great time. Matthew's going to get 20 emails from all of them after this show. Hey, need some of that? Are your services free?

Anyways, don't sweat the small stuff. If you're sitting at home and you're listening to us talk and you're worried about something, ask yourself, is it worth really worrying about if you die tomorrow? Odds are, probably not. That's a thing to remember. That's a thing I wish I could have focused on in my 20s.

Remember having that relationship where you were like, this relationship is bad. I know it's bad. But I just, I'm playing a game of chicken here to see which one of us is going to pull out of it because we both know it's bad

but we're just like ah we can't get out of it it's too complicated we live together we're both on the lease we have a pet we're both on the lease

and then you think later on if you're going to die the next day get the fuck out of that relationship if that's you today and you get out

of that relationship write in at Matthew at GlassCanonNetwork.com. It's his actual email address. That is my actual email address. And yet Troy does not send me any emails about that address. I didn't even know he knew your email address.

I know, I was shocked. You know what? Troy is excellent at distinguishing between my two email addresses. He invited me to get together a while ago. Use my personal. Personal. Any work stuff goes to my work stuff. But I told him on the first, he asked me, he was worried about it. He said,

are you going to respond to this work email? I said yes. And we established trust that day that we'll never die. Unlike Troy. Grant is very good at making it clear what he wants. So he gets it. Yeah,

it's true. Wait, that's all I had to do. Yes. He wants a lawyer. I want a lawyer to review your, your roasty pre-show pre-live show comments before we go on. Now,

I think that would probably be best for the comedy and entertainment of the show. They just had a lawyer look over your notes, cross off what they think is inappropriate. Redact. Quite literally. And then let you go with what's left. Anything that leaves us criminally liable.

See, I think these live shows, I've been considering just have them be less just me making fun and more just banter. Because we don't need it. We don't need this silly game. I wholeheartedly support that decision. You do. I like it both ways.

It could falter. We could play the game afterwards, right? No, we would just banter for two hours. No, that's what I'm saying. We banter for two hours and then we go back to the green room and we play that book of Jade Regent. Oh, that sounds...

Oh, yeah. There we go. That is a show. There we go. There's a show. That's a show. That's an evening. That's a fun evening in Columbus.

Get ready, Origins. Get ready. We're coming. That legendary JV concession afterwards. Oh, my God. Oh, man. All right, everybody. We're going to go play Jane Reacher.

We're not going to say anything about it. You won't hear any details. Hope you enjoyed our talk about Toaster Strudels and Transformers. We're going to go play Jane Reacher in the green room. any details hope you enjoyed our talk about toaster strudels and transformers that's a great idea for another podcast for the network tnt we'll call it the tnt play the whole game of tnt tonight it'll sound it'll sound like the androids and aliens theme song but just have dogs in it? Yeah. Oh, God. Well, let's get back in initiative here.

So that didn't take full damage and it goes to bite us. I don't even know where we are. What are you talking about? I'm kidding.

That's all right. You know, sometimes you gotta roll it over. There's been a handful of times where I've just rolled it over. That 40 points of damage

will be rolled on to the hit points of the next character you face. I like that idea. I have a proposal for you. I'll listen. Send it to your lawyer and have it sent to him. I'm going to suggest that I take 40 hit points of damage right now. No, but you can just cure it.

You could have just cured yours. It's true. Alright, so you want to go back on initiative? Let's talk about these chests. chests oh you love a good chest how about a chest that has a skull on it with chained manacles that's right or monocle as milton says hanging from its eye sockets monocle it sounds like something that would have been in this space before we moved into it. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yeah, they cleared him out and they put him in book six. I'm on fire with Grant. Yeah, man. I love it. Grant is your biggest fan. I love it. I feel like I accomplished something.

For all of you out there who don't like the banter, the worst thing that can happen is if Troy gets one of us. Oh, forget it. That's another 15 minutes. Easy. When I have Skid Gaspin for air, or Joe doing the really loud yell laugh, those are my favorites.

Good stuff. The old yell laugh. When you're just like, That's my favorite thing that happens every year i only could think of like three occasions in the network when that's happened i reserve it for the best there's one during the strange hands marathon which is very recent yep i'm 40 years that's how joe will die just a big yell laugh i gotta it was uh it does sound like a death it was all the guys outside they were like yeah yeah yeah i remember it was there but what was the i don't know it was probably some name i made up at the

moment uh like schwartz ruggington actually now that i think about it i think there's one moment on gcp i think there's one moment in a and a and one moment in strange aeons yeah and then what was the gcp moment mary beardson and barry broadfinger oh that might have been it god there's been so many we have so much fun and then of course i think that oh i know the a and a moment yeah yeah the haircut yeah but the hard time i have i have personally laughed the hardest on anything we've ever done was the Orphan Puncher's backstory. Oh, yeah. I was just thinking about it. And then he said, watch this.

I mean, I will never forget that. I was crying for like 10 straight minutes. All of you that were in the audience that day, congratulations. There were so few of you and you deserve to hear that that was that was so amazing we should be way more popular i know i know what the hell oh that was so funny brilliant my father was killed by an orphanage by what an orphan yes an entire orphanage i haven't been able to tell you this yet skid i have a screenshot of it on my playstation 5 i did a quick race weeks ago and the person who won the race was orphan puncher underscore oh

whoa and it has to be from you i have to believe it was that wow Wow. Just as good as racing cars as he is at punching orphans. Wow. Maybe the word is getting out. Yeah. All right. All right. All right. Monocles.

Monocles. Monocles. Two chests. Dark chests with a symbol. Emblem of Nadal. What are you going to do? Sir Will's going to cast detect evil and just get an idea of the potency. Sir Will's going to cast Detect Evil and just get an idea of the potency.

In the second round, he basically can sense if it's overwhelming or if one is more overwhelming than another. You don't detect any evil. If you do, it's probably all in your mind from these dark-looking chests. Okay. While they check out the chests, I'm going to acid splash the last creature to die until I get to 40 points of damage.

Okay. It would have been still conscious. So it just sits there and takes it like a P&I. Jumps out a window. Yeah, that's how it died. It's actually a good policy regardless. It's free. Splash everything.

Yeah, I'll ask to splash the other one too. Okay. You guys never even, do you want to try a Dungeoneering to figure out a little more info about them? Who has Dungeoneering? I rolled it and I failed during the battle unless you're giving me a new. So sorry. Maybe. No. 24 hours. You need to sleep on it. I failed during the battle. Unless you're giving me a new... So sorry. 24 hours.

You need to sleep on it. I don't think anybody has... It's not our specialty. I wish I had Pember. Sir Will will say, Stay here, Lexington. He will dismount and walk toward the chests,

looking at the sheriff. Just be careful, Sheriff. Great evil resides in these, but we cannot let it go unexplored, especially if it's something we can destroy. Are we immune to the effects of these symbols after we've saved? Oh, right. Yeah, it's, uh,

I can just tell you, you're immune for 24 hours. So if you want to cover them up in case you want to come back in this room, you can. Yeah. We'll just leave them out for the next guy. Yeah. Metro will reach out and grab Sir Will's arm. Careful.

They might be trapped. Of course. Nesta, would you like to take a look? Let me check. I'll take a look. Oh, yes. That is good. That is good. That is 50.

Okay, so just focusing on the chest. Chest, 50 is high enough to see that both of them don't appear to be trapped or locked. Oh, that's weird. I don't like that. Well, Baron will approach from behind Sir Will and Nestor and just peek over. Sir Will will open one of the chests. You open one of the chests. Empty.

Yeah. Dom, you will reach inside. See if it truly is empty. Stick your hand inside. Feel around at the bottom. Felt bottom. And you feel a coin. Oh.

Pull it up. Is it felt? It's felt? Yeah. Well, it is now. One platinum piece. Strange. What do you make of it, Sheriff?

Is it a normal denomination, like, of the nation or whatever? Yeah, it's actually a night owl heraldry on it. Is there, uh, is that evil or magic or whatever? I'll detect magic on the coin. If you detect magic on the coin, you don't detect the magic on the coin, but you still detect magic in the

room. If you hold it there for a second, there's magic coming from the symbols, but then there's magic coming from crates behind the second chest that you haven't opened. And if we search the first chest, there's no secret compartment or anything. Royal perception.

I'll do that too. Not great. 24. A 35. No. No. Seems like it's been emptied. Whatever was in it. Mm-hmm.

Plot one, a platinum piece. He'll reach over and open the other one. Quibble the other one. You don't see anything inside. I'll detect magic in the chest just to make sure there's nothing hidden. Detect magic. You don't detect anything. I'll do another perception check for a secret chamber.

30. 19 on the die for a 41. Oh! You both see, but Barrett sees a little better. A piece of paper folded up and, like, wedged in between a crack where, like, two edges of the chest meet. Like where the felt is, like, against. I see what you're i see what you're saying like dug into the felt underneath the the crack baron will pluck it out and pluck it out and it's uh parchment uh looks like a letter there's a wax seal that has been broken um but you can tell that the wax seal has the same symbol of the skull

of the manacles. You open it up and it's in giant, which I'm sure you can read. And it says Almighty Volstice, please accept this humble offering as a preliminary

payment on behalf of the Umbral Court. As your conquest of the Umbral Court. Whoa. As your conquest of the realm begins in earnest, my superiors want to ensure that Nidal is left alone when the cities of the small folk crumble under your firm hand. Fucking Nidal, man. There is more where this came from,

and we look forward to serving you in any way once the world is yours oh man sincerely krelin shadow spear holy inquisitor of zonkuthon emissary of the emerald court of an idol that's amazing so it's it's almost like how uh lords of uh of a a king want hunting grounds and whatnot. For an evil empire like that, they would just want to be able to loot and spread whatever they do anywhere. And this would be the perfect type of ruler for them. They just want protection. They're just buying off.

They're betting on the giants. Yeah. Wow. So I wonder if that giant, the Inquisitor we fought downstairs, is an emissary, like an ambassador. Yeah. Wow. So I wonder if that giant that we've, the inquisitor we fought downstairs is an emissary, like an ambassador. Yeah. She said she was. From the Umber Court.

Yeah. That's what the letter said too. Yeah. Yeah. She was like, well, I mean, the letters from a human.

Yeah. I think the letters from somebody else, but she said like the name of the Umber Court. The Umber Court. Yeah. Uh, wow. Interesting. Okay. And then, uh, said like the name of the emerald court yeah uh wow interesting okay and then

uh what is behind the chest behind the crates behind the chest big roll perception you roll it this time we do all the rolling around here all right 30 i didn't get it 94 30

anybody beat 30 38 uh 45 against traps okay uh you are sensing the magical emanations you don't really have to roll the perception but there's a lot of shit in here so trying to pinpoint exactly where this is coming from was a dc 30 perception check and both nor and Metra see a giant wooden casket stored behind a loose stone. It's Dracula. He's here. Careful. It's huge. It looks like it weighs thousands of pounds.

Wooden? No, it's like behind the wall you saw like a little opening, and there's a stone casket inside that it's got to weigh thousands of pounds, and to try and open it to see what's inside, you've got to drag it out. Okay. You've got to drag something that weighs a ton out? Well, yeah. How many pounds in a ton?

2,000. Yeah, a couple tons it's gonna be a strength check um do we have is there a spell like levitation or something like that what about the spiritual ally how much strength does that thing have that'll help yeah oh yeah you want to put on a belt and call a spiritual ally yeah sir will might be strong enough just put on himself maybe lexington you can drag it out that's it yeah i'm ignoring that yeah and i guess if you switch out belts like that it's a the regular incredible dexterity belts we have is a temporary ability bonus for the first 24 hours it's worn

i don't know how i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand it i don't i don't i've never understood the distinction but yeah it's like you get you get the bonus oh no is it like how temporary ability damage doesn't lower your actual hit points but it gets you closer to death is it like that i can say this there was like that? I can say this. There was a time when we knew this. I can tell you this. If it was intelligence or wisdom or charisma, for example, all of your skills that rely on those would go up.

Oh, right. But you can't prepare an extra spell per day as if you had that intelligence score. Or you can't prepare spells that require that intelligence score. But like dexterity and strength, I don't know what the difference is between temporary and permanent yeah right i don't know but um yeah i think you you benefit from it as normal i think well yeah i mean i can switch out easily so um yeah i nester like whips off his belt of whatever it is and puts on the belt of the spiritual ally.

Okay. And summons forth that thing. All right, so you summon forth the spiritual ally. Spiritual ally uses your base attack bonus plus your wisdom bonus when it makes a melee attack in terms of what sort of strength it has.

Ooh, wisdom bonus. Yeah, I think it would probably be tied into your wisdom. So, if anything, I'm gonna say it can give you another hand to aid if the five of you want to try and pull this out. Hello, spiritual ally. It's just this wavering figure that's one of the ones that's depicted on the belt.

It's fuzzy and out of focus. And it just nods at you. What does it look like? Looks like a female warrior from another time dressed in like five ring armor what is your name fearsome warrior its

mouth moves but no sound comes out how convenient real chatterbox I don't know if I can stand it well anyway give us a hand with this thing if you would. Vaz. And it provides aid.

I'll roll to aid, Sir Will. Yeah, I can aid. Who's going to be Sir Will's son, Lifton? I aid also. I aid. Natural 20. Oh. On the aid.

Should have been Metro. Four, six, eight. You get a plus eight To this Alright Lexington Let's hunker down Can Lexington aid? Sure Sure

Push his little Face against it Lexington successfully aids Ah Just bangs into the side Of the wood Nudging it Why not

Little nudge Have fun And Sir Will Plants his small legs. 29. It's DC 28. That's awesome. Wow.

Natty 15. So this thing weighs 5,000 pounds. Cool. That's heavy. And the six of you just pull it out. You open it up and this casket contains what looks like loot from raids. Oh. It's just like all piled in there. There's nobody.

Nobody. Whoa. It's just loot. Straight. Cash. It's a sarcasticus. Better. Oh, God.

Better than that. It looks like it's loot from the cities of small folk because it's all medium sized. Oh, how about that? These are conflict full diamonds. How about that? There is magical armor. Whoa. There is a dozen magical arrows.

Ooh. There is a feather token. Ooh. With a tree emblazoned on the quill. Oh, I love a good feather toke. There's a rod. Oh! There's a wand.

Oh! Yes. There are assorted gems worth, I'll just tell you, a total of 7,650 gold pieces. Whoa! Nice.

And then there is also money. There's 35,725 silver pieces and 12,430 gold pieces. Oh oh my god are you writing this all down this is i got i got uh 7 656 gold pieces worth of jewelry 35 000 silver and 12 000 gold pieces correct yeah give or take yeah i'm not yeah right you know it's funny because if you continue the campaign beyond book six,

which they give you options for. Yeah. I don't know. What happens? Let's do it. That would be so awesome. Dude, that would be amazing.

Dude, level 20. We should just go around and kill every king from like every country to take over the whole fucking world. That's what we did in my D&D campaign

in elementary school. You guys. That's what we did in my D&D campaign in elementary school. You guys. That's what we did. All Metro wants is startup capital for that patio paving business. Just modest ambitions. What capital do you need besides resting every day to get those spell slots back? Just needs a tent. Are you talking about marketing?

I gotta hire a second and third level sorcerer to come be my apprentices and co-workers. Charm person, my friend. You definitely need a friend and consultant. You know what? Let me see a business plan. We'll talk. Yeah, see?

She's got to have enough capital to give herself the time to write the business plan. I'm sure you've already hired the lawyer for that job. That's another thing. You've got to hire a lawyer. All right. Let's identify these items. Yeah. I'm just going to tell you what they are.

Were there any halfling villages raided by chance? You see the heads of four halfling children. Jesus Christ. They're committing war crimes. Yeah. As you dig it around, oddly enough, you find the heads of four halfling children. Jackpot They have zero Christmases left

It's plus Three flaming arrows Nice How many? Plus three flaming A dozen plus three flaming arrows Oh hell yeah It is a feather token tree.

I said that. Let's see what that does. And then actually, I do want some spellcraft. Now I'm looking at these. I'm like, ooh, actually, I'm going to need a little bit. Feather token tree is a token that causes a great oak to spring into being. And that's an instantaneous effect. That's what it does.

I love that. That's awesome. you would need that 5 foot diameter trunk, 60 foot height 40 foot top diameter instantaneous tree boom, tree cost 400 gold every character should have this

you know what it would have been really handy in ScareGuard where there were no twigs for you to use right maybe you'd like to build an arboretum uh next to your paving business yeah maybe not maybe not all right give me some spell crafties all right give me some cool tasty i'll aid metro because i only have a plus five. Natural 20. Nice.

Save me a trip. Okay, Baron, you didn't beat that? I did not aid. Baron gets none of the loot. This is going to be fun. That's not how this works. All right, so the armor, which I think someone might be interested in, it is a plus three shadow studded leather.

Oh, cool. Wow. So obviously plus three studded leather is probably better than what someone has. But the shadow property, the armor blurs the wearer whenever she tries to hide while also dampening the sound around her, granting a plus five competence bone on stealth checks. Wow. But you still have the armor check penalty, which shouldn't matter. Uh,

so it's great for a Nestor, but I don't know if it's better than what he has. It would have been great for Dalgrith, but I don't know if it was better than what Dalgrith has, but plus five bonus to stealth while also being plus three armor. Yeah. Yeah. It was close. Dalgrith had some pretty good armor by the end, but that, yeah, that's pretty cool also being plus three armor. Yeah. Yeah. It was close.

Dogger had some pretty good armor by the end, but that, yeah, that's pretty cool. I'd take it. Yeah. I'm wearing plus three mithril chain mail. So like,

we really wouldn't be any better. Probably worse actually. Yeah. Yeah. I think you get, because mithril is light, makes that armor light for those purposes and gets a better bonus. Right.

Instead of leather is going to slow you down. And I think it's less AC bonus. So no, it'll be the same. It's also light armor. Yeah and gets a better bonus. Right, the studded leather's going to slow you down, and I think it's less AC bonus. No, it'll be the same extent. It's also light armor. Yeah, they're both light. Oh, so they're always the same. Mine's only light because it's made out of methral. Okay.

You want to hear about the wand or the rod? Let's do rod. Rod first. No. Wand first. Dude, the rod. Yeah, rod. There's a chance the rod

Could be legendary Yeah The wand's gonna be garbage It's a pretty sweet rod It's gonna be a wand One person can use this And it's on nobody's spell It's on the spiritualist spell list

I'll tell you right now It's a pretty sweet rod Matthew you're gonna be Into this rod As far as rods go This is right up your alley. It is a wand with 41 charges. It's going to be really terrible.

A wand of obsidian flow. What is that? Would you just drop a normal wand? You convert a thin layer of the ground to molten glass that cools quickly. Creatures in the area take 1d6 points of fire damage per two caster levels and become entangled. Oh, that's pretty cool. Legitimately cannot be cast by anybody in the party. Any creature in the area.

No, it's on the sorcerer list. Oh, I'm sorry. You're a sorcerer. That's fine. Reflex for half. Entangled creature can blah, blah, blah. The ground is covered in slippery expanses and sharp shards of obsidian.

Difficult terrain. Acrobatics checks go up. A creature that falls prone in the area takes 1d6. It's interesting. Nice little AoE. It's a battlefield control spell. Yeah, and you've got the metamagic John to be able to cast shit like that quickly.

You might be a little, I don't know what to do. Obsidian Flaw! I gotta use the wand. Yeah, I don't think you can combine the wand with a metamagic. Fourth level spell. I don't know. So it's cast to level eight, so it's not terrible. Yeah, I don't know what I'm talking about.

I'm gonna pay attention. I will take it. It's great. Let's talk about the rod. Oh, yes! This rod is worth 12,000 gold pieces. Rod is God. Can't just buy this in any store.

It's a type of rod that its effect is a D100 roll. And there are, looks like, about 30 different possibilities for what it does. It's a rod of many things? You know, it might be the equivalent. It's a rod of wonder. Oh, yeah. Like a wand of wonder from the original oh my god that's amazing a rod of wonder is a strange and unpredictable device that randomly

generates any number of weird effects each time it's used activating the rod is a standard action and then there's just one through 100 possibilities there's like it can produce like a crazy powerful lightning bolt or like a cloud of butterflies and you don't know yeah yeah it's lightning it can make you invisible shoot a fireball uh do a gust of wind yep oh stinking cloud yeah it's it's almost all bad but some is worse than others uh summons a rhino an elephant or a or a mouse. Yes. Heavy rain falls for one round in a 60-foot radius. 11 through 15 is deludes the wielder for one round into believing the rod functions as indicated by a second die roll, no save.

Wow. This is like one of the really fun items in the original Dungeons & Dragons. This is amazing. I don't know. It's almost never practical to actually use many things that's another item that's a different than the rod wand of wonder is yeah i remember a deck of similar things could be a fireball could be flesh to stone yeah this to me seems like very and it's very closely tied to the original spirit of the game

oh absolutely let's just have a good time see what happens magic is weird yeah yeah uh so very cool uh i will take that if nobody else wants it and i will keep it in a back pocket for when we are really totally fucked that's your charlie day want that's your wild card over under over under on the rod of many wonders being used for the rest rod of wonder on the rod being used. Rod of Wonder. For the rest. Rod of Wonder. On the rod being used for the rest of the campaign. I'm going to set it at 1.5. Oh, no. If in Matthew's hands, we're going to see,

we're going to get half a dozen uses out of that. So you're saying over. I'm going to say, yeah, if you're setting the over-under at what? One and a half.

One and a half. And you can't just do it like to goof off. I can't bet, right? Because I can affect the outcome. Right. I'll take the over. I'll bet $3,000 on the over

I'm never using this rod who wins who's the who's the bank I'll take the under I think that every single combat he is so stressed with the amount of important shit he has to do he's never just like what am I gonna do this round I'll

stick around like just doesn't happen. Well, Doggrith is dead, so I don't have to cast invisibility on three different people anymore. I can count on one hand the amount of times you cast invisibility on Doggrith. That's not true at all. You did anything but. That's all that's in this room. Not bitter about it at all.

Nobody's taken that suit of armor. We'll throw it in the bag. We'll throw it down the shaft Nobody's taken the flaming arrows I took the flaming arrows Nobody's taken the feather token I took the feather token as well I took the feather token Nobody's taken the rod

The feather token is for Metro's paving business You guys didn't take any of this stuff? Metro got all of it Who is taking the feather token? I'll take it You wanna take it? Wanna roll off? No

Give it to Lexington Yeah, let's roll off A little feather token Let's roll off on something. Bam! Natty, 12. 11. You got it.

Oh, wow. Yes! What's the over-under on that feather token being used? Are you kidding me? I think it's.5. In combat. Are you kidding me? It can only be.5.

It's a feather token. All right, well, we'll see. Moving on. What do you want to do? It seems like you've cleared out this room. You got the treasure. You opened the chest. There was nothing in there.

There was this note. What do you want to do? Well, seeing as we only have 40 Christmases left, I'd like to clear out the next room. You're a terrible person. Just want to remind you, Troy, of the timeline of Christmases in your life before we move on.

All right, let's move on. Just pee on my face. Pee on my face and tell me that you love me in my face and tell you i love you too i love to hear you all the lies people like urine we've been a very urine heavy podcast uh and yet everyone absolutely dismissed my idea of the genetically engineered fish to live in urine for the aquarium in Tennessee. Everyone just dismissed it out of hand. Were you just telling passersby? I said it on one of these shows. You did.

I was like, engineer fish to be able to live in urine so that kids can come up and say, hey. And then they pee in the tank. And it's just like, oh, I'm helping these fish. And everyone has a great time. And everyone just said, no, that's gross and stupid. you said that on this show it wasn't i don't know on a show it might have been a dream a fever dream the door is locked baron oh pardon me let me uh all right nestor have a have a go at it all right give it a whirl let me pitch my urine aquarium idea quickly before i do it oh i don't have time for the elevator pitch.

That is a 37. 37. That is enough. And I'll tell you right now, you see a room almost identical to the room you were just in. You detect magic. There's nothing you detect in there. Let's do a quick perception perception check searching around for anything unusual 28 natural 20 42 oh nothing 41 nothing another uh another room of uh just storage like

storeroom that looks even if we look through the crates or open the crates or push yeah if you're considering that as part of the perception. Yeah, if you start just flipping over boxes, looking through, it looks like it's been both ransacked and only garbage left behind. We light all the crates on fire. Metra, her foot gets caught under one of the crate lists. You run out and she runs into it. Did not see that end for

Metro you slam the door shut lean a chair against it next week I think we should have so angry I think one of the things he wants to do because of his bad mood is just like take it out on Metro all right your characters are easy to kill we should

approach the corner leading up to the intersection of the north where the wall leads. Based off of all the site-based traps that we've seen so far, Baron's gonna just look around himself to see if he can see anything unusual before getting to the corner.

Uh, 25. No, no you don't. 15 foot wide corridor turning into another 15 foot wide corridor running towards the west. Baron looks around the corner himself, and as he does, he puts the fingers of his gloves up to his lips, and no sound comes out of his mouth, but Metra hears in her ears, Come on and check it out. I'll peek my head around the corner.

Oh, stairs. You see stairs. Leading up? Leading up to a door. Oh, my God. We could go up a level. We can't go up a level. We have to turn around right now.

Yeah, we can't do the entire rest of this level. I should say these are not stairs. Anywhere near the length of the winding staircase that brought you up into the warehouse. So it's a split level. It's a ranch. Yeah. It's a ranch fortress. Let's go to the south passageway. These stairs do lead up

you know, 20-25 feet or so, inclined to one single door. Why not go up there? It's not the next level. Why not jaunt into the ethereal plane? Oh, have a quick look inside. She could do it. I mean, there have been creatures on the ethereal plane that could kill me.

All right. I will do that. I'll walk up to the door. Listen at the door. Perception check. Sure. Sir Will will come up behind her. Natural 20 on perception check.

Bottom of the stairs. If you're interested, that's afforded. Okay. You listen. You don't hear anything. Natural 20? Nothing. Nothing at all.

So you should feel pretty good. Surely it's safe. Surely. Ethereal plane. The absence of sound is well known to be the absence of evil. And then I will lock the door. So saith I, O my day. So saith I, O my day.

The inheritor once said the absence of sound is the absence of evil. Go, Medron. Only the good are silent. Makes no sense at all. Only the good are silent. Makes no sense at all. Only the good. Don't give Troy so much time to think about the things he's going to leave out of the description on the ethereal plan as Metro's there, okay? Go, Troy. What's in there?

So you go in? I walk through the door on the ethereal plan. This is amazing. Okay. This adventure ruiner. Troy hates it so much. I love it. Okay. He could have cut. Troy hates it so much. I love it.

Okay. He could have cut it from the adventure. I'd love to finish this in 2021. Not going to happen. This is the only chance. See a big ass fucking room. Whoa. Whoa.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. I think I see what's happening. Oh my God. Let me tell you about this room. It's like a courtyard. You're seeing it in black and white. Well, there are high walls surrounding it,

and the walls are decorated with bas-reliefs of creeping crystalline plants all over the stonework, and a monumental stairway in the southeast corner looks like it leads up to battlements that run along the top of the walls which are indeed open to the air to be clear this stairway is rising up behind metro it's like right so the stairs to get up to this door and then then, like, what are they called? Like a rapid. Switch back?

Not really a switch back. You have to go into this room, but there's stairs going up the opposite way, way up, like full stairs to the next level. And it looks like up there is open to the sky, but then on the far end of the courtyard, and these walls are like 60 feet high, on the far end of the courtyard is a huge set of double doors. And this courtyard is roofed or it is open? It's open. It is open. There's the sky above me.

The stairs to the south are going up to the next level, so that's pretty far distance. It's got gotta be cold. Yeah. 60 feet up. And those stairs are huge to have a stairs that would like require climb checks.

So it's slow moving. And you have 10 minutes a day. Uh, yep. Let me just, I will cast fly on myself. Ooh, sugar.

Cool. And then I will still on the ethereal plane, I'll just fly up the stairs to get a peek of what's upstairs okay oh man, just take a peek a little peek so you cast fly

and you just ghostly move up the stairs, still on the ethereal plane, I fly directly through the wall and appear atly move up the stairs still on the ethereal plane. I fly directly through the wall and appear at the top of the stairs. Let me take you to another map. Oh my god. I don't think anyone else should see this but you, but we're all friends here. You can do that. No, we'll look away.

Oh no, if it's another map, you can just put Matthew on it. Just drag his jaw. I minimize my window. I don't know how to do that. That's what you see, Matthew. Where am I? At the it. Just drag his jaw. I minimize my window. I do that. That's what you see, Matthew. Where am I? At the top of these stairs? I'll describe it to you.

So you come up the stairs. Yep. If you were to loop around, I'm assuming you're exploring, yes? Sure. You see double doors leading down deeper into this next floor. But if you float to the other side, you can see beyond the doors of the courtyard. And you look down at a big area that looks like an entrance the north the south the west yeah nothing just

sheer drop off to the north and to the south but to the west is a big platform three times the size of the platforms where the cloud giants were looks Looks like a ceremonial entrance into the castle. Wow. Ah, okay. And those would be the double doors I saw on the lower level. Right. Now you can see outside and down. I mean, why not take a quick look through these doors?

Why not indeed? Quick look through those doors? Just I'm going to stick my head through. Running out of time. Yeah. Okay. I can go straight. Literally, on the ethereal plane, I can go straight and flying. I can go straight, literally on the ethereal plane I can go

and flying I can go straight down through these stairs back to where we were. Okay. You look through and you see a terrace. Huge looking terrace. It's lying in front of

these. You would think like now that you're piecing this all together, that there was a time, or maybe there still is a time when people arrive on this platform behind the double doors in the courtyard, walk into the courtyard, come up these grand stairs and then walk through the main doors into this terrace. These are the, these are the like the ceremon the main doors into this terrace. These are the

ceremonial main doors. They don't come in through the engine level. Sure. They come in through the second floor or the first floor and then they come up to the second floor to look into this terrace. So you're looking through the main doors, you think, of the castle into the terrace. It's got to be impressive.

Oh yeah. Two carriated columns flanking the entrance depicting life-size cloud giant guards. So, again, think never-ending story, but not topless. They're standing to the east in an ornate marble facade, and then an imposing white marble statue of a dragon overlooks a semicircular balustrade to the west and you see gates exiting to the south of this room

beyond and you also see several cloud giants walking around on guard talking to each other and they look discombobulated sure discombobulated it's kind of like on high alert

okay I will I will call it a day and I will go straight down through the stair like literally through the solid matter of the stairs and back to my friend okay I will before you go I will reveal that room to you just so you get a better sense of what I just described

so you get a better sense of what I just described. So you see the... These are all huge. This is a week-long effort to get on Roll20. This is like I was saying when I went up to go to St. John's Cathedral in uptown Manhattan. Just to get a sense of... It's like the largest

Gothic cathedral in the world. Just to get a sense of scale of these spaces that we're going to end up in it's just it's so cavernous cavernous humbling like to be in something that big i'm that old yeah yeah so again imagine that thing that you can't see beyond the doors downstairs you look down and see the platform people would come in come up these stairs go through these doors into this terrace and beyond there are doors actually in the south and i forgot to say there are also a set of double doors uh going further east those are the doors that have the two cloud giant statues on either side and then uh this little balustrade platform to the west

inside of the terrace room has the statue of the dragon. So that's what you see. But you are running out of time, so you run back to your friends. And I tell them all about what I saw. A couple less Christmases now after those room reveals.

Fewer. Shut up. Take all your Christmas well it's certainly good news that they seem to be discombobulated also not surprising given our success to date yes they must know we're here and it seems they have not yet found Adriel

it could be up there you know should we press our advantage at the moment, or should we keep looking through these other rooms? I mean, we just looked at that last one. We found, like, the fucking Monty Hall. So I don't know if we want to... I think we should clear this floor before we move up. It is my thinking.

Yeah. I agree. Let's move south. Come, Lexington. Let's go south. Yeah. We agree. Let's move south. Come, Lexington. Let's go south. Yeah. We will return here. All right, so Metro got a good scan.

And, you know, I can show you now that you've gone up and looked down at what's beyond those double doors. It's just the platform. Great. I'll revert that for you later. But in the meantime, you keep going south. You're ignoring that door to the west for now and just clearing just the platform. Great. I'll worry about that for you later, but in the meantime you keep going south. You're ignoring that door to the west for now and just clearing out the south? Correct. Alright, so you come up to

another door that does appear to be locked. Pardon me, let me work my magic if you wouldn't mind. That is a 45. Nice! He crushes it it he's a plus 33 disabled device at this point golly um good golly uh where you're standing by the way i can reveal more of the hallway going down oh yeah and what you see is that uh there's another door uh. So you've got three doors now. You just unlocked one and then there's two more

beyond this passageway to the west. But then just beyond that third door is a door blocking off the south. Maybe into another room? You don't know. What is your intention right now? Are you going to explore to the west or are you going to

keep going south? I don't know if we want to tip our head. I mean, aren't we trying to open this door right in front of us? I'm just curious what your intentions are. What are your intentions with my daughter? It'll depend on what's in this room. It's identical to the two that you

already found. Detect magic, perception. No detect magic. Nothing. No magic and no perception. There's nothing of value in here. No magic magic, perception. No detect, nothing, no magic and no perception. There's nothing of value in here. No magic and no perception allowed! No perception. You're immediately blind, permanently. Alright, then I will peek around the corner of this passageway to the west.

Okay, and you see that it extends about 70 feet or so and then opens up into another room. Oh. At the extent of your vision, Metro, you can see that it just ends.

All right, should we sneak down this passageway just to see into the room? Sure. All right, so Metro, we'll slowly, stealthily make our way down the corridor and then peek around the corner. Okay. Flavor stealth or real stealth?

Real stealth if you need it. Yeah, sure. I always need it. 31? 31. No. Yes, 31. 31.

Okay, see you. Sneak, sneak, sneak. Looks like people left here in a hurry. Looks like a washroom. There's a giant-sized stone washbasin with three silver faucets standing along the east wall of this room, where

Metro just peeked around the corner. Two, there's an open cupboard containing folded sheets, rugs that are all rolled up, a stone bowl holding giant-sized bars of soap and several scrub brushes sit on a square stool nearby. A couple of them lying on the floor.

Perception to see if anyone's hiding. Okay. It's not like giants to wash, in my experience. That is a 38. 38. You don't see anyone hiding, but you do see, to the west, a window looking out.

And then, to the southwest, a passageway leading to a staircase that goes up. Oh, whoa. God, this place, I'm so scared. Metro will wave everybody forward and then stealth their way across to the window just to look out.

Mm-hmm. And you look out and you just see clouds like you're looking out of an airplane window. Floating by. Maybe like we're actually passing through a cloud bank yeah it's like we did rumbling the the turbulence like when you're going through a cloud like a little bit batting at the window yeah sir will is gonna detect evil out to metra and then sort of all around the room and then into what would be the next room to the south that is unopened, like through that wall, detecting any evil in this swath,

this 60-foot range. Nothing. Okay. No evil in this place. This music is so good. This music is great. I love it. Yeah.

Well, before we head up any more stairs, why don't we clear out the rest of these doors unless the rest of you have another notion. Come, Lexington. Let's do it. We'll go back out to the main hallway where we just were, continuing to move south, and there's a door that we assume will lead to another cargo hold, another closet. Go ahead, Baron.

Do your thing. Quick reception check for traps. And that is a 40. you don't detect any traps it is locked oh uh pardon me pardon me sir pardon me uh that is a full t5 yep no problem and uh it is the same situation where you fought those strange creatures except no symbols no creatures no chess nothing to pinpoint no perception no magic

I'm sensing a theme here but let's keep going nonetheless one more it looks like yep and just to save you time same situation alright listen at the door to the south hold for a moment so Will's gonna trot up to it he's getting a feeling uh and he will

detect evil through the door to the south uh it goes for 60 feet and he'll obviously wave it around a little bit into an arc okay so you put your hand at the door or however you do it to detect evil. You don't detect any evil.

I detect nothing. He will trot back a few pieces. Go ahead, Nestor. It's locked? No, it is not locked. All right, I'm going to do a perception to detect traps uh that is a 30 on perception 37 for traps 30 perception 37 traps you don't detect any traps is it locked it is not uh baron do you care to do the honors

absolutely and did that what i'm trying to figure out i'm care to do the honors? Robber rolls. Absolutely. And did that, what I'm trying to figure out, I'm happy to do it either way. Did the whispering gloves, the silence that was emanating from them constantly make that other door open more quietly? Just trying to figure out if I'm- He said yes before. Oh, you did? Hold him to it. Don't question.

You have me on record. And I wasn't paying attention. Perfect. So Baron will silently open this door. You look down and you see a corridor that appears to wrap to the west. Excuse me, to the east. Okay. It's a corridor that wraps to the east. Okay. It's a corridor that wraps to the east.

At the extent of your vision, you see drainage grates set in the floor. It smells very musty in this room and wet. There's condensation on the walls. And you do see, like, fungus and moss and vines growing on the walls. I don't like that.

I can see farther than this, unless that's a wall. If Metra can see further, you see that, sure enough, five feet beyond Baron's vision, it ends in a wall. So close. I counted the 60 feet out.

Just 60 feet and then BLAM! Boom! Nothing. I do think it's honestly kind of strange that all of this is in pitch black. That is so weird. We're on the second level of a castle not all is it sunday are they closed for the weekend um but i'm just trying to think okay yeah like the room you got

ambushed in was dark all the other rooms you faced so far were dark the room uh that i i made you uh the metro snuck into the wash washroom, that wasn't dark. That was my bad. Well, let's move forward at quarter speed, perceiving every step we go, looking around, looking for any strange changes

in the fungus we see, and get to the corner. Yeah, detect magic first. Detect magic. You don't detect any magic. All right. I'm going to cast detect entanglements in 60 feet. I don't think that's a real spell.

I think fly is still active on me. Yeah, it should be. Yeah. Right? Yeah, it's only 15 minutes. It has been 15 minutes since I did my ethereal jaunt. Ethereal jaunt? I'm going it's only 15 minutes it's been 15 minutes since i did my ethereal jaunt ethereal jaunt

15 minutes 16 minutes how long did you look out the window i guess that's the question i guess that's the real question it was a great view did you write a poem i composed i composed a song i'm gonna say you don't have fly.

Let's go. All right, then. I'm going to cast fly. Okay. I'm going to say you don't have fly. I now have fly. I'm going to say you don't. Fly just above the ground.

A foot above the ground. Okay. Baron is moving forward at quarter speed. He'll throw out a perception check as a cursory idea. 35 as he moves forwards towards this corner to look around the edge. I will also cast mirror image. Okay. I wonder if these are the showers or something.

Fly. Mirror image. Peeking around the corner. Baron comes up. Stealthily. Stealthily. Metra? You're 10 feet or so

20 feet behind Baron to the west What is Sir Will And Nestor doing Nestor is bringing up the rear Kind of hanging back 10 feet from Baron Stealthily

And Sir Will's all the way in the rear Staying behind Metro I make no noise because i she's he's just trying to he's trying to keep his noise distant from the rest of them okay again i'm picturing this like metra just the power of these characters and like metra just like floating inches above the ground in total silence yeah equally, almost equally silent people behind her creeping up. It's awesome. It's so cool.

I can just see, like, the hand on the knocked arrow. Yeah, yeah. The two arrows that are knocked on there could kill any human on Earth in an instant. Yeah. And then Sir Will behind is Pennon flapping in the hallway wind. A humid wind. Ready to do seven points of damage. How dare you?

Spidey! He's got his face guard down on his helm. His armor clinking. Tiny paladin. Fucking awesome! Baron's got his shoulder and his duster against the wall with Dawnstrike out, drawn.

He looks like Deckard from Blade Runner. Yeah! He's like around a corner waiting for the next replicant. Yeah. Evangelus plays the background. Baron creeps up ahead. Metra, 15 feet or so behind.

Nestor, Will, further back. Take a peek around the corner stealthily you see some shit you see bits of light illuminating this long vaulted hallway that is almost completely draped in this fungus, in this moss,

these climbing vines. And the smell, this powerful smell of spores and must and herbs is overpowering. Every step you take deeper into this

wet vault. Revolutes of water are flowing from holes in the walls and in the ceiling. It's like dripping water from the ceiling and then coming out of holes in the walls and just draining on a drainage gate that goes the length of the room. It's extremely damp,

and you hear this constant sound of drip, drip, drip, drip. And water pouring out. You also see four large, gelatinous creatures. Just... And it doesn't seem like they see you. Let me reveal where they are on the map. When I say, let's get the fuck out of here. That's what they look like.

Just this bubbling mass with a little tendril coming out of it but those things are constantly forming and unforming and they're just slowly moving about the room it looks like they're feeding off of the

fauna no the flora in here the fauna? the cows? they're eating a deer. Where did that deer come from? Oh, dear. It was a five-point buck.

She just ate it. Baron, you see this room stretches all the way to the west, and because of the light that is illuminating this space at the southern end of the chamber, you see that on the far end, the corridor opens back up to the north these creatures are just plodding away and they don't see you baron puts a finger gloved in the whispering gloves up to his lips and is able to speak to everyone within range and says there's four creatures

waiting in between us this loots back around what do you want to do and any of you can whisper back with the use of this spell and they shouldn't be able to hear it they don't know I'm here they don't know we're here could use the experience points, I think.

Sir Will is going to detect evil, and he can get two of them in the range. Do they detect his evil? They do not. There's no evil there, Sheriff. Treat with them. Oh! Some creatures, some fungus or plant creatures.

If it is to be understood from what we, from these walls. What? I said treat with them. Treat with them. Perhaps. Perhaps they will negotiate. Yeah. That always cracks me up.

We could try to head in from another direction to the east, see if this loops around all the way. It seems to maybe loop around. Yeah, I agree. Let's approach from another direction. Let's see. Let's go back to that dais in the east and come back here if we need to. Agreed.

Troy, the wall to the west is a solid wall, top to bottom, all the way to the back of that room? Yes. Okay. There's no opening here, right? No. Okay. Yeah okay yeah no that's just the grating along the floor it's about you know seven feet i'm wondering if there's access in this area below the grating like into some other space yeah i'm wondering if this is essentially matth Matthew asked a question very early on about their sewer system. I'm wondering if these things eat their poo kind of like the Odiug. Right.

Choice nugs, bros. Choice nugs. Oh, yeah. Choice nugs. The war on nugs. And no one has... There are no winners in the war on nugs. And no one has...

Dungeoneering. These are probably just... Oh, no one has Dungeoneering these are probably Dungeoneering absolutely Not a good one but I'll try And they probably are so Freaking hard to damage well not hard to Damage but take so much damage or FDR I got a 20 And if I know anything

And I can help guide that information I want to know if given the understanding of my party's capabilities, if we have a good way to tackle these oozes. Here's what you know. All right. You don't know what they are. You know they're oozes. So you can think.

What can oozes do? What are their immunities? You would know that stuff. But you don't know what these specific oozes are. Just knowing they're oozes, though, is a huge help. You know they'reune to crits. You would know that stuff. But you don't know what these specific oozes are. Just knowing their oozes, though, is a huge help. You know, they're immune to crits. Immune to precision damage. I don't know if they're

immune to precision damage. My iPad isn't working. But just knowing their oozes is going to help you, but you don't know what their particular jawns are. They are not immune to whatchamacallit? Crits. Precision damage. They are immune to critschamacallit precision damage. They are immune to crits, immune to

flanking. That's what I was thinking. They got a bunch of immunities. And you do know that you have the jump bomb now. Your party does not. But you do. God damn it. Don't let him suck our immunities. We definitely do. Do you?

We're aware of them. They're not aware of us. Yeah, I've let everyone know we're there. And where we are, all we'd really get is a movement or a buffing standard. That's true. Don't let him badger you into this. I think Grant's idea was right. Let's come around the other side, see if there's anything worthy. Yeah, and Sir Will is like, there's nothing evil here.

Why are we wasting our time with their fucking sewage treatment center? there's nothing evil here like why are we wasting our time with their fucking sewage treatment center i love i also uh like the idea of how drastically the environment changed in this area which seems to be friendly to them i don't think they'd follow us if we were to leave and we can loop back around and deal with them if yeah i don't think they'll take over the world if we ignore them yeah so let's go let's go back let's hit let's head back head to the dais that's the noise you hear koala koala koala so we we head back i close the door with the whispering gloves quietly oh yeah close the door good call um and then we if nothing happens and they do not react, we will head north and then go east past the bookshelf. Oh, yeah, this is back to the original.

So there's a statue and an intersection. It seems like Lexington is still on the stairs, the spiral staircase we didn't explore. I just leave him there in the event of I get dismounted. Not a statue. It's a dais. But that's a room you're going back to this is the room that metra could see into when you were uh dealing with the uh the chain and the bookcases and the tiger giant right giving a wide berth to the shaft as we go by and we'll do new

perception checks as we approach to see if we can hear anything. Any new movement? Any more troops going around? As a joke, Metro pretends to shove Will into the shaft. Does he laugh? No! Stop screwing around! Stop screwing around! Natural 20 for a 42.

Nothing. No traps that you can see. All right, so you guys move forward into that room. Mm-hmm. I will reveal it, and I will reveal everything else you see. Because that room is a perfect square. There's a door leading to the south.

There is a passageway leading to the north that ends in another door. And then continuing on to the west is another hallway that just keeps going, but you do see 120 feet or so away that it does cut to the south as well as continuing forward. But let's deal with the room that you just walked into. And I can tell you it's bare in here, except for this low circular dais in the middle. There's a bear! Get it! There's a bear!

Rawr! Rawr! in the middle. There's a bear! Kill it! There. But atop the dais is a stone building block with inscriptions etched on it. Oh, man.

I miss Pembroke. It looks similar to the stones that you... As opposed to the stones that you saw downstairs and then, obviously, in the tunnels, this one looks similar to the stones that you saw downstairs, and then obviously in the tunnels, this one looks similar to the stones on this floor, which are different from the ones downstairs.

So, you know, maybe it's part of the original creation. Why it's important, you don't know, but the inscriptions are written in giant. Can anyone read giant-ish? Yes. I think most of us can uh there's a an inscription in giant engraved on each of the blocks four vertical faces on the eastern side it says like the fire of a star's birth on the southern face it says like the air, water, or earth. On the western side, it says like a rock by magic hurled.

And on the northern face, it says like a mountain or the world. That's the lyrics from a Bob Seger song. Like the fire of a star's birth, like the air, water, or earth, like a rock by magic hurled, like a mountain or the world. So I think that we could, like, if this were a video game puzzle, we could create fire on one side. We could

create earth, air, or water. The star hurled by magic, we found that meteorite piece from that person. It's the mountain part i'm not as sure about but then again baron is from the ashby clan so he could try standing there give you some knowledge here uh knowledge local history arcana engineering religion what are you thinking i'll do local and i'll do religion oh gosh nat gosh. Natty18. That's very good. That is a 47.

Local? Yeah. You think that these are words of good omens that go back to the first ever cloud engineers like millennia ago? This is not. They're superstitious people. This is like something they'd say to invoke some sort of good luck. Nothing but contempt for them.

There we are. Do you ever walk up to a historical building and there'll be a plaque outside? The plaque is usually just a historical explanation of what this is and the date, but then sometimes there'll be a quote as well, and the quote is more artsy than related to actual knowledge about the space. That's kind of what this is. It's just a quote that is an homage to the cloud engineers that they were perhaps trying to be inspired by when they built Zephyr Hall. Anything else revealed with the 25 Relidge? 25

Relidge is actually the exact DC. Oh, hell yeah! For you to know that this block is more than just ornamental. More than just an homage to the past.

It is the magical center of gravity for the entire Cloudcast. Holy shit. What? And we'll see you next time. Oh my god! We could shake up all gravity inside the castle? What if I were to reverse gravity

on the center of gravity? Oh my god! Oh my god! I don't know who that benefits. I don't either. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015.

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