The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 290 - The Spider House Rules

Episode Date: August 10, 2021

After discovering a secret passage, the heroes climb a ladder up through several floors of the castle. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that...

That's right! Did you know it's also covered by most private insurance plans? Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast, the heroes discovered a secret door. Baron is drawn towards the fireplace and as he stares past the blazing embers, He notices an outline of a door on the back. Yes!

Yes! Nice! Oh my god, he read the adventure. Leading up into the castle spire. You open the door and you see a large steel ladder going up. Oh, what? Oh, shit. I feel like we have to explore it. I'm going up. Oh, what? Oh, shit. I feel like we have to explore it.

I'm going up. But when they reach the top level, you see a forest of massive sloping wooden beams supporting a conical roof in a vast, dark attic. They found

they weren't alone. And you see crawling in the hole towards you two huge spiders. That look like they're from another plane of existence. Oh, Zip's so dead. The adventure continues. Spiders of Leng! Now. And then there were ten, ten episodes to go before episode 300, Matthew. Whoa.

Great math. you whoa great math 10 more lonely eps before the 300 the last centennial celebration of the glass cannon podcast this is the 10 lords of leaping special that's not true you're gonna end the podcast after 300 episodes no but the next one it's yeah i don't know if we'll celebrate a hundred maybe we will but it's gonna be different because it's a new show. It'll technically be like episode 100 of the new show might be 133. Oh, the humanity. Or no, it'd be like 433 of the show. We could never celebrate a number like that.

Cut his mic, Grant, while I have this conversation with my real friends. Wait a minute. We're playing this for 43 more weeks? I don't know. Maybe. I cut his mic for real this time. I was like, we have a problem, Grant. His mic's not working.

He cut his mic for real. Could you just feel the peace and quiet we have for a second? It's nice with the headphones on. I can barely hear him at all. I felt so much less judged. Less judged. I just couldn't believe I was the one advocating, celebrating the 100th episode.

There's that gondola music again. You know what I mean? That's all I hear. When Joe said he felt so much less judged, I wanted Matthew to say fewer judged. Yeah. Which is totally incorrect. Fewer judged.

You feel fewer judged. You feel fewer judged. That's more of a Caitlin thing, though. That's more of Matthew's wife. We'll do that. What, correcting your grammar? The less versus fewer thing. It's a good one.

Yeah. That's a good one. I like the good versus well correction a lot. Superman does good. You do well. I'm a fan of that one. Shut up. What about done versus finished?

Uh, what does that mean? I've heard tell, and Matthew will probably correct whatever I say and correct. So I'm glad as Mike's back on a cake is done. You're finished. That's the other, like a task.

You don't say you're done. You're supposed to say you're finished. Wait, is done only supposed to be used in the context of cooking i did well if that's if the limits of that example or anything go by yes whether it's true or not i think that's a cool thing for a villain to say a cake is done you're finished that's a good write that down for campaign two shock right there to make a note hold on i got my final boss that's who he's gonna say yeah walk in was that in commando or something that sounds like you are it's great you're the disease and i'm the cure no that's cobra yeah i don't know i don't know if we'll do another 43 that seems like too much seems like a lot i'm

also shocked that it's 290 and i'm nervous that there's a 300th episode And only 10 episodes That's a lot of work to do Yeah, I started thinking about What that episode's going to be I've thought about it for a long time I imagine you're going to make it pretty small time It's not going to be a big deal

That's how we tend to do those Those ones that end in two zeros. Them centennial Johns. Well, I thought about this the other day whilst I was pooping. You do all your best thinking. Oh, you should see my notes. I was like, hmm, plop, plop, plop.

I bet, plop, that, plop, plop, plop, plop, plop. I bet. Plop. Bet. Plop, plop, plop, plop, plop. I bet that... I didn't do this just to get Joe's laugh. That... That must really kill with your children. Oh, he loves it. I can't believe other people don't laugh more at that.

I think... Have you ever been in a public... Well, you don't go to the bathroom in a public toilet, but if I've ever been in a public toilet and i can hear so much it's like i can like holding back laughter like a child i can't help i think it's so fun i just think how could they do that when there are other people usually it sounds like they had no choice like that's pretty much where they're at words to the words of the wise out there if you've ever shared a public toilet with joe o'brien he's laughing at

you he's laughing at you when it sounds like they're dumping a pot of chicken but it sounds like it's coming out of a loaded shotgun don't worry in those moments when you're most humiliated about the sounds you're making in the bathroom, Joe O'Brien is there to laugh. Somewhere, Joe O'Brien laughs. But I was thinking that episode 300 could arguably be juicier. Not a great adjective, but go with me on this. Moisture. Moisture. Juicier than the finale

in many ways because i think 300 really don't tell them well no i just think that like there's so much stuff to wrap up that you know is not gonna you can't really wait till the end like 300 is kind of going to set that in motion i I think, in many ways. And then the last few episodes will hopefully tie up as many loose ends as possible. But I don't know. I saw something interesting on the Reddit the other day, and someone was like, hey, I wonder if they're ever going to talk about this. And then someone responded like, oh, well, my estimation of this was that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, yeah, that person nailed it.

Nailed what? Nailed the… I'm not asking for the specifics but like what genre are we talking about a history a a continuity issue a a a sort of dangling thing out there that hasn't been explicitly stated but i've even said on the show like there's a lot of things people like when are they going to resolve this and i'm like in my mind i've already resolved it careful listening will reward uh but because i didn't say this is what happened uh but it was cool because like okay so some people see it so like i said uh fucking 10 episodes ago or so like there's some people at the end it's like what happened how come they didn't resolve this and

i feel like it has been resolved so 300 is gonna be a big one because there's gonna be some i think big things that we're gonna if we don't resolve gonna set the resolution in motion but then other things will just be left out there for your imagination i wonder what happened with that i bet you best based on x y and z this happened but storylines we don't feel like writing you may say yeah yeah you guys figure it out sort of uh is that what lost it they're just like whatever you guys think well did i say this on air that like after the Lost finale aired, there was this email being passed around that was supposedly from one of the writers that explained all the unexplained things? And I don't think it was ever confirmed or not whether or not it was true. But it was this long email because this is before Twitter, I think, or before Twitter was big that explained all the loose things. And as I was reading, I was like, well, you know what?

I could have inferred that from what they did say. So, I don't know. I like that method. I think Lost really should have wrapped up a couple more things explicitly, but sometimes unexplicitly doing it is a fun way for you, the audience, to fill in the blanks. I don't know. I just know Matthew psyched about 300, and so am I.

But I'm not looking forward to the work I'm afraid I'm afraid It's going to be a lot God How is that feeling? It's very good Should I get one?

Yeah man, go get one Take a Joe walk to the fridge Dude, I'd love a Joe walk It's so refreshing My mic's already muted So what's the difference? Yeah, get out of here Sound of a gun?

You know my favorite part is about the joe walk is uh mid-combat i love a mid-combat joe walk because it's like uh the it's getting hot and heavy and uh the uh the battle is uh increasing the music is going. And I finish my turn. And then I do the joe walk. And you remove your headphones. And it's just like you're back in this quiet, like, real world. Yeah, yeah.

And your friends are talking, like, at a totally normal volume. They don't sound like they're screaming in your ear. That's what it sounds like when you wear these headphones. And it's just so funny. And then you put it back on. And you're, like, in it again. It's so neat how the headphones put it in your mind so clearly it's just upsetting to me to see you walk away in mid encounter because it's like oh he he doesn't care it's like there's a meeting audience member walking out of the live show or even a more uh

more modern example is well not modern but a but a more recent example is like when you're watching something like with my wife and you say, I really want you to watch this. And then she did get a bit of the bathroom and I'm like, I'll pause it. No, no, no. Don't worry. Don't worry. It's the same thing. I'll be watching.

I'm like, I'm so into something and I'm like, oh, this is going to be awesome. And I turn and look and she's on her phone. Right. Yeah. And I'm just like no god you never got her she didn't care for a minute i'll get upset if we're just watching big brother and she leaves i'm like i'll pause it like they're just sitting there eating dinner i'm like you might say something this is my big problem now that i want to relax and my wife is working you

know i have like a 30 minute break it's like i can't watch anything without her but then she will just leave unpaused unbothered by anything yeah yeah my wife does it all the time she just i don't know i love watching things with people i get no yeah huge enjoyment out of watching things alone like when it's way more fun you want to come over and watch lord of the rings yes before you could like finish the sentence. It's like, well, we start at 6.15 a.m. Yes. You really love a good communal watching.

I do. That's your jam. But we used to do the lost parties every week that Troy would never come to because he's like, I can't watch this with anyone else in the room. And I did Game of Thrones. You did your own Game of Thrones. I did my own. We had competing Game of Thrones parties.

Matthew always came to mine, just saying, for the record record i went once and i said i will never never again do this again because so many people were smiling and enjoying themselves well no i mean it was like needles in trotting and like yelling at the screen yeah we're all yelling at the screen i remember the i remember watching the red wedding episode at your house and i was so i knew it was coming because i read the books and i was so unbelievably tense the whole time. I was just sitting in the corner of Joe's couch, absolutely still. My eyes were the only thing that was moving, just looking around and watching for everybody.

I was like, it's going to be bad. In my brain, I was like, it's going to be so bad. They're going to be so upset. And they were. You could hear a pin drop in that episode. As it was coming up, everybody was into it, and I was same way i was just like don't move don't look at anyone don't give don't give it away don't give anything away i was trying to avoid joe's gaze right and then i went on youtube and thoroughly enjoyed all the reaction videos of other people's

i learned something about that scene i never knew before the other day. Is it going to spoil it? No. Okay. The drummer from Coldplay is the drummer in the band in that scene. Oh! There were a bunch of musician cameos throughout the series. Yeah.

Isn't the whole... I know Ed Sheeran there. Because you see Ed Sheeran, but no one knows the drummer from Coldplay. And is this because the drummer from Coldplay told his agents, like, Oh, I love Game of Thrones. Get me in there. Yeah. Put me on it. And apparently one of the actors came up to him and was like, oh, I love Game of Thrones. Get me in there. Put me on it.

Apparently, one of the actors came up to him and was like, oh, what do you do? Are you a background actor full-time? It was Sigur Rós. Sigur Rós was the band. Oh, really? Sigur Rós is in the Geoffrey's Wedding. Oh, is that? Yes, yes, yes.

But they also play the same song. That's when you knew That they were really Into making it A serious show And they just let Fucking anybody Be in it As a cameo

I hate that Yeah it's The writers They were just like Yeah it's you And you be a Come on The show's already

Failing It did When a drummer You didn't recognize Was in the band There could have been A drummer That was an actor That wanted that job what's an actor who can't play an instrument and they're supposed to be a union guy wasn't that job there's a there's one of the is

it was one of the radio head guys oh well here are the other folks in there. Mastodon makes an appearance, which is awesome. Where? Mastodon are... An actual Mastodon? Episode 8 of Series 5, Hardhome. They were in Hardhome. Oh! Hardhome is a great episode. They're wildlings. That's so cool.

They're wildlings, yeah. Oh, that's awesome. I didn't know that. Snow Patrol, Bastille has been in there. Oh, Snow Patrol! Snow Patrol, when they make an appearance, they're actually singing a song written by the lead singer

of the Hold Steady, which is a band I really like. I love the Hold Steady. I once worked with their original drummer who left the band before they got successful.

Oh. Dummy. It was a very sad tale. The Pete Best of Snow Patrol. He's like, I had kids, I have to get a job

in advertising. And then by the time I met him, they were playing Madison Square Garden. What a loser. Well, having kids playing Madison Square Garden. What a loser. Well. Having kids.

What an idiot. What a stupid jerk. You know what Game of Thrones didn't have? What? An episode 300. Yeah. That's true. That's true.

They were much, much more efficient with their time. People still care about our show in the final season i hope so i really do i don't want to be all jump the sharky yeah you never know you never really know ash peak was tough ash peak oh yeah ash peak was tough but again i always stand by if we go back and listen to ash peak it'll be a lot more enjoyable than it was in the moment i i had fun yeah i did too but i was worried that other people uh wouldn't but i mean man that like i mean that whole outside where we first see nester again was was ash peak yeah the you know the the the volst is coming in on the dragon the dwarves of kragadad charging that's one of my favorite things get out of here it's one of the best scenes of the whole series i do think that's the most

pernicious and awful thought that can creep into your head at any time which is i don't know if anyone else is enjoying this yeah like in the middle like if you put on a show for your wife and you're like i hope she's liking this as much as i want her as much as i am because i love it did we ever discuss is it possible that mary beardson has moved up in the ranks after the massacre of the dwarves of krakatoa that when i talk about things that need to get wrapped up before the end you will have a mutiny on your hands if we are not there has to be an epilogue scene at the museum i guess she was third wasn't she she might have been fourth there were several siblings that needed to die. There were several people she wanted to drop down. Oh, third!

Yeah, it might have been third. You talk about Brander waiting for everything to fall into place. Nope, it's been Mary Beard Channel. Mary Beard Channel all along. Pulling the strings all along. She actually was Brander. Brander can pull away the Della skin and then the Brander skin, and it's going to be Mary Beard Channel. Mary Beard Channel.

Damn, I had a lot of spoilers for episode 300. Episode 300 is going to take us directly into the secret crypts of the Krakatan Mountains. Exterior. Home. Day. Interior. Same home. We see Mary Bearchin was married to the Inquisitor Barry Broadfinger.

And she kept her maiden name. Did you hear my brother's dead? We see Mary Bearchin was married to the Inquisitor Barry Broadfinger. And she kept her maiden name. Did you hear? My brother's dead. I'm now second. I gotta go wash my hands. I gotta go wash my hands. Turn into a clip show. Let's roll for initiative.

Oh, damn. Roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll for initiative oh damn metro you'll be allowed a surprise round um that's great you saw my initiative is terrible good good you'll need it um if you're still alive after they take their action metro uh i got a 13 13 sir will uh oh 13 so i'll go next i'll go after metro okay baron 25 25 baron nester coin 28 for next stop eight for nester coin so last week week you stumbled into a kitchen with very fancy looking silverware and stemware, same thing. You know,

all sorts of fancy shit and you thought it was worth a lot of money. It was like a thousand pounds of it. It could be worth thousands of gold pieces. So you threw it into your overstuffed sack and then just as you were ready to go through the door to the north, Baron was like, you know what? Let me just check that fireplace out.

I read the adventure. I feel like there's something in here. Nailed a perception check. I hope this sounds natural. Let me just check that secret door. Yeah, I want to check for that fireplace. You check, and sure enough, there was a secret door. You open it up, and there is a a huge giant-sized steel ladder going up.

A ladder so big and so built for giants that you had to roll climb checks to climb it. So you climb up and you get to the next floor. See another secret door and the ladder keeps going up. Metra puts her hand on the door with her gloves of reconnaissance and is able to see through and sees a host of orcs, all from different tribes, sitting around a feasting table. There's a couple that look like pretty badass, maybe tribal chiefs or warlords or generals, you don't know. And then the others look like lackeys, maybe servants, maybe lower in the chain of command. Entourage.

An entourage. And then there's some sort of beast in there as well that you could sense but not see. You could hear but not get eyes on. So then you keep going up. You get to the next door and Baron casts silence on himself as he opens the door while vanished and takes a peek through and sees this

maybe a throne room? There's a throne in the room. And there are two guards that have the symbols of Ashpeak on them, the symbols of one of the clans that was guarding the interior of Ashpeak, two fire giants. So you say, no, thank you. You close the door. You keep going up.

Now you are at what you think is the top, because it ends in a trap door leading to another room. Baron does the same thing. Quietly opens the door. Wall Vanish takes a peek in and sees an attic. Beams everywhere. And spider webs everywhere. Spider webs that are so thick they had to have been caused by a giant spider.

A huge spider. A massive spider. There's also a big hole in one of the wall ceiling portions, a hole that looked like something either burst in or burst out. You also detect magic in there. So you're like, you know what? We don't detect any evil. We don't detect any chaos. We detect a little magic. Let's go check it out. So you go in there, and Nestor is able to pinpoint the location of it because he sees something. It looks like a little eye looking at him. Metro flies over there, avoiding the difficult terrain of the webs, and plucks it out. It's an eye of the void, this magical, wondrous item that you can use to frighten your enemies. But as you're standing there, with your ability to see invisible,

you see two huge spiders start crawling through that open space. An open space which Nestor detected a trap somewhere in that opening, covering that huge space. These things crawl in, and they, along with Metra, will act in a surprise round. Let's put them on the map. This is what they look like.

Oh, boy. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Oh, nasty. They're gross purple. Oh, they really are otherworldly. Yep. I said they looked like extra planar spiders.

Immense purple spider has a leg span of nearly 40 feet and a hideously bloated body. Yet the way it moves, it moves with a dancer-like grace. I think they're Leng spiders. Yes, as we were going up the air last week, you said the same exact thing. You were like, these sound like Leng spiders. Last week you said the same exact thing. You were like, these sound like Leng spiders. Well, they're in the room.

One of them is pretty close to old Metra Narn here. 35 feet away from Metra. The other one is 55 feet away from Metra. Let's go into the surprise round. The spiders will both act before Metra and her crappy initiative. What to do here? You know what I'll do is uh one of them just send some sort of mental something at you give me a is that a mind affecting

uh 31 one 31. Oh! 30. You're gonna have to do better than that. One. You're gonna have to do better than that. Forget about it. You're all right. And then the next one just shoots a web at you. This is gonna be a ranged touch attack. Oh, baby!

37 against your touch AC. Oh, baby! 37 against your touch AC. Yeah. You're covered in a web and you are entangled. Let's talk about the entangled condition, because maybe somebody listens to different play paths and doesn't know anything about anything we're doing.

The character is ensnared, being entangled in Pede's movement Not so bad But does not entirely prevent it Unless the bombs are anchored To an immobile oxygen An entangled creature moves at half speed Cannot run or charge

Takes a minus two penalty on all attack rolls And a minus four to dexterity An entangled character who attempts to cast a spell Must make a concentration check or lose the spell. However, there are some images. That's true, there are. Yes. There are eight of them, so there are nine

metros. Nine metros. So I'll roll a d10. Perhaps you are not entangled. On a zero, I'll reroll. On a nine, you're entangled. I forgot about the mirror image. You can't roll a zero, I'll re-roll. On a nine, you're entangled. I forgot about the mirror image. There's no... You can't roll a zero. What? D10, you can. Oh, on the 10.

Don't tell me what you can. I can't do it. You think he was rolling a D9? Alright, here we go. Here we go. Come on. Come on! One. Yeah! Yes! Let me uncheck that entangled image. I think it's safe to say that one of those images goes away, though. Yeah, I think that's safe to say as well. It gets wrapped up in web, and then it just disappears, and the web falls silently to the floor. Wisps like a handkerchief in the wind.

It's round one. It seems to me that you lived your life like a handkerchief in the wind. It's round one. It seems to me that you lived your life like a handkerchief in the wind. But the handkerchief burned out long before. The Kleenex ever did. It's round one. It's Nestor's turn. What happened to my surprise round? Sorry, it's Metro's turn.

Okay, so Metro Metro seeing these invisible spiders calls out to the party, target this explosion and fire. And then arc light, I'm sorry, chain lightnings, both of them. Oh! Here's what I need you to do. I need you to roll two spell resistance checks.

Oh no, and they might even be immune to lightning. The first one is going to be a 36. 36. Give me the second one. Oh, this is going to be a real tweener. 25. You're all right.

Yeah! All right, they both go through. All right, now you get a reflex save. I do. And it is important that I know which is the first one which is the second one the one closest to you rolls a very shitty reflex gorgeous rolls a 23 oh no that passes so he just tries to just grind you into the ground make you feel like shit about your character did slightly better at a 33.

Okay, yes, that passes as well. In Chain Lightning, the secondary target... Chain Lightning! I'm just trying to see if he's going to do it again. The secondary targets have an easier DC to cross. Oh. But yeah, so they're... And he rolled the 33. Yeah.

Still not good gun either way you're both they're both gonna take 25 points of electricity damage uh and it also will point out to my friends where they are because we'll hit oh i would have laughed so hard if you fumbled electrocute yourself and then they just started lighting your space up. Oh god no! No! Can I roll a knowledge planes? Yeah dude! I don't have a great knowledge planes but you know why not just take a chance. 15.

15! You have no idea what these are. No idea and all your plane traveling you never came across. Plane traveling? Plane travel. And all the plane traveling, you never came across. Plane traveling? Plane travel. All my plane travel. And all the 747s you've ridden in.

Across Galarian. Frequent flyer miles. Coast to coast. You've never seen anything like this. Now it's round one. And now it's Nestor. Coins turn. Nestor, you're nestled sweetly behind one of the pillars holding this place up.

Did one of the creatures, when it shot the web at Metra, did it become visible? It did. Thank you for mentioning that. Actually, Metra... Oh, you see them, so you don't have to roll anything. Yes, the one farthest away from Metra is now visible. Okay, so... Actually, they both are, because the other one tried to cast

an attack spell on you and failed, so they're both visible. Okay, cool. Had I known that, I might have not left myself so vulnerable. Alright. Have you shared that information? There's eight of you. Okay, so Nestor sees this spider appear like he's been he's had his old jolter out he's

been ready for something like this he knew it was spiders so he just says there you are at a cop at a cop down you drop and fires uh multi shots at at the first one the one closest to metra uh that is a 29 to hit no 30 no it's much higher 30 39 or 40 it's very high feel good about 40 though yeah 40 yes 40 is a hit okay it's very high. Feel good about a 40, though? Yeah, 40, yes. 40 is a hit. Okay. It's very high. Just trust us.

Yeah, this is a good one. Nestor is still pretty far away, but this is the only one he has a perfectly clean shot on. 70 feet away, or 75 feet away. The other one is kind of behind a pillar, which actually Baron and Sir Will are going to have trouble getting at. Okay, that's 54 points of damage. Okay. On the many shot. Sorry, did I miss? What are we doing about

invisibility? They're visible because they tried to attack, so you know. Oh, okay, so it's not a constant effect thing. Got it. Oh, that makes things better. Natural 18 on the second. Sounds like a hit. And that is 26 points of damage. Third attack is, let's see, that is a 34.

Okay, 34 is a hit. And 24 points of damage okay final attack that's probably a miss that is a 23 to hit 23 is a miss okay all right the one that Nestor just lit up. It is now its turn. Oh, dear. It's very upset at Nestor. It's pretty upset at Metro as well. I don't know if you can see the other ones.

What does upset look like on the Spider-Man? That was more of a sounds like, Troy. Now give us looks like. But I was doing a looks like with it. He was kind of wobbling like a crab. Oh, yeah, he's doing it. Yeah, I was a little crab walking my seat. Hmm. You rolled pretty well on those Will saves.

Yeah. Will's my best save. Yeah, I wish you hadn't. Would it have made me a lot more vulnerable to your attacks? Well, it just would have been fun. It would have been better for the episode had you failed. I wish I'd known that ahead of time. Yeah, well, you know.

What can you do? Let me check out the range on this spell here, because I might do it on old Nestor. Things cast in spells? Spell spider. C spells spell spider cursed spell spider spell spider from the depths of the plane of spiders grant i want you to know that i because you taught me the google dice roller thing i used that to roll that oh congratulations you didn't tell me about it was this pillow talk with matthew at the last live show. We had the bike in bed with us, and we were pedaling along with our backs on the bed and the bike to the ceiling. It was really cute.

We were pedaling along. You're actually pretty far away there, Nestor. That's 75 feet. What range are you looking for, Troy? What can we do for you? Can you guys get a little closer? But not so close that Baron can hit it. Huddle up.

Help me out. Actually, the one near you, Metra, is going to attempt to dispel your mirror image. Oh. Okay. Wow. That's juicy. That is juicy.

Yeah, the DC is going to be 11 plus the spells caster level. So what level did Metra have to be? That's going to be easy to dispel. It's pretty low. Yeah. It should be three. I think it's even better, right? Second level spells for a sorcerer?

I think you have to be third level. You have to be fourth level. Oh, nice. All right, so DC 15. I rolled a D20 plus my caster level. I rolled a 27. So, mirror. That's big.

So, that was a little dispel magic spell? A little dispel magic. And you know what? Just for fun, that one will then get... This is what it does, okay? It starts walking towards you in the air, but its legs are wriggling like it's moving on ground. So it's like...

And it's just floating across the room towards you. And it gets right up in your business, thereby making any action you take susceptible to an attack of opportunity or just permadeath. I really don't know what's going to happen. That is its turn. And now it's Baron's turn.

Good thing for Baron is that one did get a little closer. It actually even in view because Baron's so deep behind. Actually, no. Where is Baron? Baron is behind the pillar. Baron might have to. I can see it. I have eyes on it.

But it's not within my normal range increment. That is for sure. The question I asked prior towards metro last episode going out and grabbing that gaze weapon uh to cast from the wands uh potion of flame arrow and spider crawl communal did we end up doing that or was that just a vague suggestion it's really more sounded like b to me sounded like b uh i don't remember when you asked it. I asked before you flew away and went and got the eye. We never said

cast spider climb on everybody. That's for sure. I don't know that spider climb would really help you here though. Right. It's more the flame arrow part that would be helpful. When you said it I was like oh but how long does flame arrow last? And then that was the last I thought about. Okay. Next time I'll be more insistent.

See I was... Tough call here. You got a great shot on Sir Will, and he's ten feet away, so he won't provoke. Blam! I'll take care of... If only there were fire bullets. Lexington, now. Target of opportunity.

All right, so I wanted to see if these things were going to turn invisible again. But it doesn't seem like they want to do that. Baron is going to preemptively cast see invisibility on himself just in case. Nice. 25, 30. And he will move 30 feet forward, which will put him 45 feet away from the spider that is currently attacking Metra. The spider that is up in Metra's grill.

Can I identify them at all, or is it just planes? That would help me. Knowledge planes. Yeah, knowledge planes. Don't have it. I'm also going to pull down a swift judgment of destruction and protection. And I want to pull down a bane on them. Can I try putting on a spider bane next round?

Bane spider. I bet they're outsiders, right? Yeah, you have to do, I don't think spider is the... Can you do outsiders as a type? I think that's what you can do. Okay, I'll do it. On my next turn, I'll pull on an outsider one. Okay. Yeah, you've got a good feeling.

I've already tipped my hand. Well, it might not be outsider. I'm going to need a knowledge check to let you know what it is. Lang, Lang, Lang, Lang. Okay, it is the other spider's turn. Metro is a sitting duck right there, but his buddy got in the way, so she's a tough target. Baron has now stepped up into the pole position here. And that spider is 70 feet away from him.

Got some options. Could cast a spell, but you've got good saves, Baron. Well-built character. We need a real shit roll from you for something good to happen. Man, taking you out of the combat would be huge. Could also throw a web at you. It's probably an automatic hit, but entangling you doesn't really

hurt you. With a minus four to attack, you're hitting against touch AC. I think this whole show is too afraid of save or suck spells. The roll of the dice. Yeah, no, I definitely want to try it. What do you got for a will bonus? Don't worry about it.

I don't get to ask you that before I do a tap. What's your AC before I shoot? That's not a good argument. I should have all your character sheets, so I should know what your will bonus is. I'll tell you. I don't have that. Plus 18.

That's pretty good. It's better than mine. I would look at that and be like, I'm not casting a spell against that motherfucker. Right. Grant, why did you do that? Well, he started whining about having all our character sheets. It's actually fine.

Grant could have a plus four he's still gonna roll a natural 18 well that's the thing it's like it's probably best to just not have him cast the spell on you rather than even risk a natural one because like it could be very bad yeah like he said to take you out of the combat yeah it's interesting i mean troy's got a lot of decisions yeah yeah i mean. I mean, it'd be great, but it's just so hard. You're very hard to get, Baron. I mean, Entangled, it's lame, but that minus four to Dex,

minus two on attacks. Ah. Yeah, I'm going to throw a web at you. You're two Two things out of my range instrument So it's gonna be even harder to hit you But I got you By a mile and a half

Because it's against touch AC and I rolled over a 30 So you're entangled You can't move You move at half speed, you can't run or charge Minus two to attack, minus four to to dex. A little easier to hit. A little weaker to attack. And that's what it does. But then it is going to position itself

up to the pillar right there and stand behind it so that no one can really get a good attack off of it. That's what it does. I like his thinking. I like where this spider's head is at. Let's see where Metra's head is at after this spider lops it off when you try to cast a spell

and it gets an attack of opportunity and it lops your head off. I'm just going to cast defensively. Okay. To avoid that opportunity. Wow. Okay. Bold move. And I'm going to cast Dimension Door. Oh boy. Automatic pass on the cast defensively? Yes.

Uh, so I will reappear on the map right, uh, between Baron and Nestor. Okay. And then I will use the

quickened metamagic rod to cast haste on all of us. Oh, yes. Excellent. In Rod, we trust. Every time. God. Now, Dimension Door is a fourth-level spell,

and cast offensively would be 15 plus double the spell level. You automatically make a DC 23. My bonus to cast offensively... Hold on, I'll pull it up for you. My bonus to cast offensively. Hold on, I'll pull it up for you. I want to get it right. If it's not a 22 or lower, I think you should go home. It's a plus 25. All right, then I'll go.

Troy's leaving. Troy's taking off his headband. He's doing a joe walk. All right, so Metra just gets out of there, no problem. She's so sneaky. I think you could say she's almost impossible to kill between now and the end of the book. Oh, don't say that. It's the worst thing you could say.

Everyone has been hasted, including my spiders. Sir Will, you're up. You're throwing me off. All right, so Sir Will is on this broom. He came up flying on this broom. And so he will fly up to the party and try to

become part of this formation. So he's going to fly up and put himself opposite Metra, which is putting us into a little bit of a diamond formation so that if the spider that comes from around the pillar will see Sir Will first. So maybe it'll attack Sir Will or Baron.

And he'll stay close enough just in case anything else goes awry. So he comes up close to his allies. He's not looking at his allies, though. He's looking at these spiders. He's wearing the sunglasses again. It took me completely by surprise. I look over and it's just like Tom Cruise is staring across at me. Sparing his aviator.

I bring him every week now and I just had him here and all you guys were looking down. I'm like, this is gonna be fun. Yeah, I didn't see you walking up with him today. I didn't even know they were there. So yeah. Shocker. So I pull up. It's't even know they were there. So, yeah. Shocker. So I pull up. It's like a World Series of Poker.

It is. He's looking across at these two spiders, and he's just like, We will send you back to the plane from whence you came. You have chosen the wrong world to enter. The allies of Iomide will smite you. And he's going to cast a spell called Good Hope. And embolden his allies. So I will cast Good Hope on you guys.

Would you say it will surround us and enshroud us like a cape? Oh, boy. Oh, dear. Each of you will get a plus two morale bonus on saving throws, attack rolls, ability checks, skill checks, and weapon damage rolls. Plus two? Nice. Plus two, yes. It's good hope. You should be able to find it under spell adjustments.

Just straight across the board. Plus two on everything. Plus two on fucking everything. Amazing. Wow. Amazing. It is the strength of the followers of Iomide in battle. That's a hell of a counteraction to the Entangled, I'll tell you that much. Amazing. It is the strength of the followers of Iomidae in battle. That's a hell of a counteraction to the Entangled, I'll tell you that much.

Exactly. As soon as it happened to you, I was like, don't worry about it, buddy. Don't worry about it. That's why I cast Haste, because now your speed is no longer halved. Baby, we're cooking a stew right now. It's called Faze Spider Stew. If you'd like a piece, it'll be done in about five rounds. Still nobody has hit the

knowledge check on what these things yeah sir will are sir will does not have knowledge planes skid to hit the knowledge check skid skid personally may have very well hit the knowledge check well next round can metra just call skid yeah do i text skid is my phone a friend and to me sir will really doesn't need to uh pass a knowledge check to like send these creatures back to the plane from whence they came because they look so they look like nothing in a world where there's horrifying magical creatures everywhere these things look like they have no business being here they don't belong here they're otherworldly for sure yeah uh it's top of round two and it is nestor's turn all right so uh next is on thank you very much i am a day my favorite god in the whole wide world and with this new power infused

with supernatural speed he starts like pulling these arrows out of his magical quiver with preternatural alacrity and unleashes a full attack against the spider yes uh that is a 43 to hits on the multi shots many shots amazing yep you know what i want the most out of this good hope spell? Is Nestor hits in, like, attack three and four. Like, that's what I'm hoping to just edge over the line. It's like, if that comes through, we're good! Yeah. That is 59 points of damage. Oh, my gosh.

On the first. Second attack. Oh, natural one! No! Oh, come on! To confirm. To, natural one. No! Oh, come on. To confirm. To confirm, 40. No fumble.

Okay. Oh, come on. All right, third attack. Oh, come on. 34 to hit. 34 hits. Okay. All right.

And 29 points of damage. Okay. All right. And 29 points of damage. Okay. All right. Fourth attack, 90, 15. That is a 39 to hit. Oh, that's a hit. Really? Wow.

Your third attack has a plus 20? Yeah, with the rapid shot and the haste. Oh, my God. That's huge. Because this is effectively my second attack. Right. Right. That is 32 points of damage.

And the creature falls. Oh, yes. All right. Yes, yes, yes. Okay. Yeah, so it was floating there, and it just kind of gently starts to fall towards the web. And can I take a five-foot step in the middle of an attack action? starts to fall towards the web. And... Huh. Can I take a five-foot step

in the middle of an attack action? I believe that's the only thing you can do. Yeah. All right, so I'm going to take a five-foot step to get a shot on the second spider from behind this pillar here. Where are you? I am...

Oh, it's tricky. It actually moved in a pretty good spot. I do have an open square where it's visible. Barron doesn't, but Nestor and... Why can't I hit the back leg? Oh, wait a minute. Look at this. It's just too big of a creature.

Barron can hit the back leg and Nestor can hit the head. Wow! I rolled a two, though, unfortunately. Sadly, that will not do it. It would have been the creature's turn that fell, but it isn't. So it is instead Baron's turn. I'm going to put on Bane, Outsider,

and see what happens on this first attack. I will be making it at a minus two outside of my first range increment, and I will be on this first attack. I will be making it at a minus two outside of my first range increment and I will be hitting against regular AC. Misfire. Oh no! It was a great time to thank the fellows at

Norse Foundry for sending me another die. Thank you, Eric. I also got the Gunslinger class coin which is beautiful. Oh, that's nice. Norse foundry for all your misfiring needs. All your misfiring needs. Yep.

Throws you off so much, doesn't it, Grant? Yeah, but it's... You were expecting to have ten minutes for your turn, all your shots. You know, I... What are you thinking? You want to just ride the snake? Grant, look. No, I'd like to, because it's the first attack and a full attack,

be able to use my move action with a grip point to clear my gun. And that's my turn. I haven't taken any other attacks in it. So right now, effectively, it is the same. If it was the second attack and a full attack action, I'm done. That's it. That's my turn. Right. I'm with you.

But you know. That's why I'm putting that out for the judge's oversight. Get ready to get angry. I'm with you too, Graham. Yeah, I'm with you as well. I'm with Grant. I'm with Grant. For Grant!

For Grant! Why are you saying get ready to get angry? For Grant Berger! Because you're going to rule that he started a full attack action in intention and so we'll not let him use a move action. But I disagree. That's all. But you can do whatever you want.

Yeah, that's a real tough one, right? Here's the thing. We've had it happen several times, but I honestly don't remember the precedent. I think I normally misfire into my rolls, and when it's my second or beyond attack, I totally get it. Well, obviously, yeah.

But we've had this discussion before. I don't remember where we ever land on it. I feel like it feels like a different show discussion, too. I don't remember having it necessarily on. Yeah, it's the whole idea of what difference does it make? Well, is there a difference if you declare and things change after that first attack? If you had made the second attack then it's a no-brainer um yeah i guess the question is like do you have to declare

the full attack before you begin because you're like i am setting my feet i'm spending my move to make this full attack possible and so regardless of what happens in my first attack i will not move after that i think if you're pot committed you would tell me you have to keep on shooting no matter what. You know what I mean? Right. That's the other side of it that doesn't make sense. I think you're fine.

You know what I mean? Because of that argument that you just said. Because what, are you going to just keep firing away? No. Because it was your first attack, it didn't change your attack bonus, right? Because you declared a full attack. No. Yeah.

So I'm going to say you're okay. All right. He will stand in place after that. Darnation and consternation and every Asian out there. And he will spend a move action to clear his gun. Okay. This damn thing gets jammed one more time. I'll throw it out the window.

I'll throw it out that trapped window. That trapped window. Window. All right, it is the one remaining spider's turn, and he is unhappy. I would be, too. Yeah, he is going to start retreating out the hole in the wall. And it gets away.

Unless you'd like to give chase. It is now Metro's turn. Metro looks to the others. What do you think? No, no, no. That aperture, it don't look right, mate. Don't go through there there's something wrong there i think i have a way to seal the wall how was that then uh i have the liar of building i

have renfro yes if i were to play this for 30 minutes you just closed them out of here forever yeah yeah that's what i was thinking. Is it a liar or a liar? Liar. Liar. Liar. Liar. So, yeah, once a week I can strum it, and 30 minutes of playing is equal to the work of 100 humans laboring for three days.

So if I just jam out for 30 minutes, we should be able to close this hole up here's what i may be more concerned about than them getting back in because i they can't even follow us down that uh well they might be able to because it was giant size stairwell uh it's awesome but the other thing i'm concerned about is them reporting back to their owner do they have an owner i don't know i don't think that they i don't think that they work for these people. They may be like unwanted guests. Yeah, I think they're like stowaways or something. Yeah, like the e-hive. Yeah.

Okay. This is an infestation rather than like a god post, I think. So, I could see that. You all right hearing the song stylings of Metra Narn? Please. 30 minutes? Let's do it, Metra. Every rose has its thorn.

And now you've got a wall there. Believe it or not, that's exactly what she plays. Darkness smiled. That's amazing. And then she plays that. Sir Will Tear coming down his cheek. Metra, I never knew.

I had a lot of time in the shadow plane. And that's what she plays. What a set. Yeah. Only for a moment. And the moment's gone. Take me home. Country road.

Beren looks over the stage and grabs the set list that's printed out on computer paper right by Metro's foot. What the fuck is this? Thank you. I put a wall up. Pretty good wall, huh? It says if a hundred humans labored for three days. It says exactly what it looks like. Historians will come here someday.

It must have taken a hundred humans to patch that wall. Over 30 days! Metro kicks over the amp. And walks off stage and we're done. Smashes the liar? Yeah. Won't be fooled again! It's now useless.

And the wall comes down and ten spiders come in. It looks like you're out of combat. I've never seen someone so happy to be out of combat. So, yeah, now that this place is kind of cleared off, I just want to take some time and really search this room. I know I was joking about reading the adventure and stuff, but I feel like because we've had the pressure to move along and really search everything, we're kind of just looking for auras and moving on. I want to do the deep perception checks on the nooks and crannies of this room now that we're unthreatened and see if anything's hidden in these webs or all these timbers. For sure.

So as Metro's jamming out, playing Stairway to Heaven four times in a row, you fully search the room and you fully do not find anything else of importance. You know, this could be an interesting place to rest. Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. This could be like our base of operations for the rest of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. John. Absolutely. Now that this thing is closed off,

we could enter every level from in and out of fireplaces. Yeah, that's what I was saying. This is so cool. It's like to establish a base at the top of this place and, like, work our way down. Yes. Now we have that. The fact that there's no way of getting in and out

besides this ladder, now that you've closed up that hole, makes it even more... Right. Very secure. ...of a good, safe spot. And, like, yeah, the only way this is accessed through there is through a secret door.

We don't even know who might know about it, so... We should... Did we... Did Renfall ever say we'd be able to chat with him again? Might be interesting to ask him

what this passageway is for. He kind of left and was like, I'm going to go hunt again. Here's my wiener. I'll see you later. Oh, he's here. Got a model cap

in my hand here because they were, in fact, Lang spiders. Yeah! There you go. There you go, Skid. That's a bottle cap for being old. Actually, they're from an HP Lovecraft thing. Oh, yeah.

The denizens of Lang, yeah. Where have we heard about these? denizens of lang yeah where have we heard about these i you i have run i've run a pfs where you go to lang and you fight some langs but you do there are lang spiders i think every time i've read it people are able to avoid the lang spiders and you you want uh rubies from lang because they power a certain planar you know planar travel oh okay so i think we should maybe rest here if we need to if we're low on spells and then go down to the first level and turn that um range back on so that it's harder to detect the door through it and just move through do you don't want to go fight a couple giants of ash peak no i don't want to fight a couple orcs i i'm still i am still just totally bewitched

by the time renfall said there were um items of magic beyond imagination scattered throughout this place so that's why i want to keep on clearing out those floors i'm holding one yeah i know well i'm not saying we won't ever go back down to the first floor we don't want to fight some of those orcs when they're eating dinner and unsuspecting. They burst through the fire. Right. I mean, if we go do something else first, they're definitely going to move on and not be there when we come back. Because they're going to operate their life in real time while we're not there.

So it's important that we catch them now. Because later they'll be somewhere else. Definitely. Fact. And they definitely won't be eating the next time we come back. The encounter in C-13 is a very fluid encounter. Wow. Chris.

Wow. Wow. I kind of want to go mess with the orcs. I kind of do, too. I want to just kind of do quick strikes and i covered a couple different places if we can obscure the fact that we're coming out of the fireplace somehow it's if we can just show up like in these random seemingly random places uh and then i mean just just thinking story-wise like that might might there is something that grabs fear of gods and into them there's something

that grabs my attention about that, Sheriff. The idea that we are untraceable, that they don't understand how we are getting from place to place. Volstis has taken over this castle. It's very possible he doesn't even know of the existence of this secret passage. It would lead to a degree of scrutineering around the entrances and exits to those rooms that is currently not there, however. There is something to be said about keeping an ace in your hand and not playing it until necessary. We could also take, I mean, we could go work our way down to the next level, take out the giants of Ashpeak, then go down the stairs and surprise the orcs that way.

Yeah, I just think those floors might go on high alert once two officers either of orc or giant of ash peak uh persuasion background ends up missing or dead they're on high alert anyway no matter where we go we're gonna end up killing a bunch of people yeah and they know my estimation is that they know we're in the castle sure like that's sort of my understanding yeah like they know we're here we've killed many dozens of people that isn't an argument for one way or the other it's just i think they know we're here yeah this is no well whatever i i could go either way i hate this because it's just like so paralyzing i just want somebody to make a call.

I mean, we could take out the orcs, hopefully somewhat easily, and then go back down to the first floor after that where everyone's freaked out over there. Why don't we work our way down? Let's do the two giant smash because we know we've been able to take out fire giants. We've fought plenty of them in the past. We know how to do that. Kill them, and then go down the next floor.

Kill all the orcs, and then go back to the first floor. Remember that we found giants that were extant in other places that had moved beyond where they were when we met them before and they were more powerful however we're still alive i know but i'm just saying i don't think these will pose the exact same i don't think they're going to be exactly equipped like the ash peak giants we fought again and again that's all i'm saying do we have any protection from energy so we can burst out of the fire really cool and just like good question uh i can cast protection from energy communal and i can do fire let's do that because especially if we're gonna fight the fire giants anyway all right well then we should do them first yeah let's i i like uh metra's plan remember the other thing we know about fire giants is that they don't have dark vision.

Yeah. Right? Yeah. So we could jump on them. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We could jump on them that way. Undercover of darkness.

Plunge into darkness, like in the opening of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the movie. Don't care for it. That was for Skid. I pointed to to skid that was especially for him i don't like it just stop bringing it up day sold out i'll never forgive them um one good thing about going after these fire giants there's two of them and there is uh at least 17 orcs that you saw plus some other creature in there i don't know if i made that clear you did say a lot i didn't know it was 17 i think what would be something to think about what would be amazing way to handle those orcs is to like have metro stone shape off the wall or their exit and then just fireball fireball fireball from that tiny place don't play my character grant it would be a sweet murder point it would be cool all right okay well they have

the stairs they can always run up the stairs they could always run away unless we wall off that entire far wall yeah and the stairs let's do the giants and see what happens and hope they don't run down there and hope they don't yell out and then all the orcs head up those stairs this is tycoon wall off the stairs if that happens too yeah all right i'm gonna do production from energy communal fire uh so we get 120 points each or something yep 12 points of energy for castle 120 points and this lasts for 10 minutes per level there's no max on there right so yeah 150 minutes distributed amongst the four of us in 10 minute increments all right awesome sir will you need that broom a little bit

longer to get down a level? I do, Sheriff. And I am concerned at the idea of moving from floor to floor so heedlessly. Because there is only so many times I can bring Lexington per day. Something to think about. But I do like the idea of striking at these fire giants. I haven't had a chance to fight one myself. This is guerrilla warfare, Sir Will. After we take out these giants,

I think we clear out the rest of the floor we began on. Yeah. Make sure you wear your goggles. This is classic insurgency tactics, mate. This is going to be a blast. Come on. Chin up. Okay, let's do it. He'll also explain to you mechanically that he's not going to be involved

in the combat for several rounds basically because i assume he'll be behind whoever is sneaking in and starting the fight then he has to get in there and then he has to summon lexington before and mount lexington it's gonna be a while before he's really can you cast darkness no all right i'll do that and we can see through regular darkness it's not the super darkness not deeper dark deeper darkness yeah so we'll get down there so we'll we we do protection from energy fire i'll do another mirror image and then we'll get to the door the idea is baron will slowly open the door quietly and then i'll plunge the room into darkness and then we'll jump in and uh hopefully kill them okay also what is the benefit of plunging into darkness we know that

fire giants have dark don't have dark vision they don't all not have darkvision. The higher level ones did in book five. For the record. It's true. But if... Doesn't hurt us. Troy literally just asked that question. Which leads me to believe he knows they have darkvision. Read between the lines, Matthew.

Metagaming. This is true. Metragaming. Metragaming. Metragaming.ragaming metragaming that's the title we could go about this all day

I think that we just go back to the first floor where Baron wants to go and clear that up want to start this over you changed your

mind you were so far on the other end of it so far on the other end of it I said one time this sounds interesting we're doing the fire

giants then you said something and I agreed with you I really just want to fight the orcs but the giants are on the way, so let's... Yeah. Yeah.

Let's see what happens. Okay. Let's see what happens. Anybody need healing? Everybody good? I'm good. Sir Will is good. Okay.

Make sure everybody removes haste from your character. And good hope. And good hope. Thank you. For there is no hope. The haste of good hope. The haste of good hope. Hope.

You will not find it here. So you. For there is no hope. The haste of good hope. The haste of good hope. Hope. You will not find it here. So you head down the ladder. Is anyone climbing in a way that climb checks would matter? I mean, I'll go down, so yes. I don't like the way you answered that question. I pass the climb check. I'm going to cast fly on this. Okay.

I'm going to climb so carefully, climb checks won't matter, Troy. Well, I don't understand. You go down, and you do realize this. Wait, has it been 15 minutes? Yes. Yes. Because we thoroughly searched the whole room. Do you remember your concert?

I thought the same thing. Oh, right. 30 minutes just on that concert. You did a whole set. You did a whole set. I forgot about my whole set. Five songs? It felt like no time at all.

You only have two hits. You played it first, and then that was your last song, too. You go down the ladder, and you do notice that the distance between this trap door and the floor with the fire giants is a lot longer of a distance than the distance between where the fire giants are and the orcs were, which was equal to where the orcs were and the kitchen level so as you're going down you're like i think there's another level here but there's no secret door so the throne room isn't like ludicrous like 40 50 foot ceilings no now it's possible there isn't it could be just air but you're like there's either another floor here or that attic is in its own tower. What if we separated? Like all of a sudden it just stops and a tower pops up.

Which, looking at the castle from the outside, there were several towers. Got an idea. Rest. Chillax. Sleep the night. Metra. First thing. Cloak of etherealness right through this floor.

In this airy. And goes to the top floor and just sees. Exactly where Volsus' poker game is currently happening. You're standing outside the secret door leading to the fire tower. We go back up in the mist. I'm telling you, that is how you play. But that's how the pros do it. Once we level up, we'll do that.

Joe is turnt 180 degrees around. He's so proud of himself that he turnt all the way around. I love that idea right through this floor. It is a good idea, but it's too late. We already have a plan. I'm trying to commit it bear the audience in mind they want us to get to the fireworks factory already two by two who enters the room first baron will be there ready to open it using the benefit of the whispering gloves to

open it quietly okay and then i then I'll... And then I'll metra right on in. I'll metra darkness into the room. And how much darkness is there? Oh, so much darkness. 20 foot radius. 20 foot raid? Yeah, it's on them. You slide

in. Are you invisible? Are you vanished? What are you? I'm just standing I'm hanging out in the corridor. I'm going through the door. Do it on their sword. This is why I have to touch it. So I'll have to roll something in. So I'll cast darkness on a piece of stone that we found upstairs.

It's getting a lot more complicated. And I'll just roll it into the room like a grenade. Okay. You're going to cast darkness on something. Slide in and roll it in there like a grenade. Let's go to the map. Let's go to the map. Map.

Map. Oh. Oh. Oh, we are back. Those gigantes look a little different. They look different than others. That's what I was saying. That's what I was saying.

See, I told you. I told you. They look different than others. That's what I was saying. That's what I was saying. See, I told you. I told you. I don't like it. You throw a rock in there. Tink, tink, tink, tink, tink. And it sets off an area of darkness. And you just hear. Roll for initiative.

We're going long. Oh! Are we already near the end? Oh, my God. We're already over an hour in Get out of here I feel like we just We really need to get into it today I want to get through some encounters

We might not get through the whole thing But let's try Let's try for once in our damn lives Let's try This definitely does not look like a fire giant It looks like some sort of brass golem. Exactly what it looks like. Don't worry about the pawns so

much. They look similar to the ash peak guards. They're just a little bit different. Just a little bit made of metal and automaton. No. Worry about the pawns. Worry about the johns. There's a new shirt. Don't worry about the pawns. Worry about the johns.'s a new shirt. Don't worry about the Pons.

Worry about the Johns. What'd you roll there, Sir Will? I told you. You'd have to start the combat without me. Natural one. Oh. For a three. Oh my God. Just a three.

Gross. See you guys in 40... Actually, I'll see you next week. Quite literally. Yeah, you might. You might. Baron rolled an age at which I did not constantly worry about death. Still, 32. 30.. Baron rolled an age at which I did not constantly worry about death. Still, 32.

30. That's a fun age. That's a fun age. Good age. That's a fun age. See you, Joe. Metra? 21.

21. Joe is touching his wiener while I'm talking. Nestor? 15. Not in the room, I should say. Yeah, he's not. He went to the bathroom. Yes, but I'm assuming. Nestor. 15. Not in the room. Yeah, he's not. He went to the bathroom. Yes, but I'm assuming as I speak, he's got his Johnson in his hand.

Nobody wants to think about that. It's too late. Joe should have thought about that before he went to the bathroom. Well, he does that sometimes. You hear me, O'Brien? And it's nobody's fault. Talking about your little Irish wiener. Baron, you're up.

Okay. lighter, sweetheart! Baron, you're up. Okay, Baron, through the fire and the flames, will be able to get off a full attack action at the first guy. Pull down a swift action, judgment on himself of destruction and protection.

Hold on one damn second. Alright. I'd argue, by the way, we get a surprise round. Yeah. Did you all roll stealth against their perception? I don't remember you guys doing that. Baron open i don't remember you i open the door silently in order to try to do that if she'd like us to roll stealth on top of that we're happy silently i am giving you metra the ability to throw that rock great i'm fine with that that's all you're getting in you know what frankly it's too much you don't think Nestor should get to fire off an arrow on a surprise round?

They were unaware of his presence. It's true. By the rules. Rules as written. I prefer to give my characters surprise rounds than giving your characters surprise rounds. Yeah, no, what I should have had you do is allowed you all to roll stealth against their perception, which means you might not even get that rock off. But because I didn't do that and you didn't call for it, I allowed the rock to go off.

But now I'm not going to retroactively have everyone perception. So next time what you should do is we want to roll stealth to see if we get a surprise round. And then I'd let you have stealth and all that other stuff. But you didn't do that. So I'm not saying it's 100% your fault, but things would be different if you had thought about this. I'm literally made of shadow. Everything I do is a stealth role.

It's just, my stealth is so good, I just forget to roll it. You are a shadow of a man. I just got back from a Joe walk, but why are we not talking about, we were aware of them and they're not aware of us, which is the one sentence. That's what I said. Now, I'm not saying Metro's surprise round wasn't the darkness. I'm not saying that's not the case. I think everybody gets a surprise round. Well, here's what I'll do. That's what I said. Now, I'm not saying Metro's surprise round wasn't the darkness. I'm not saying that's not the case. I think everybody gets a surprise round. Well, here's what I'll do.

You want to take it back? Everyone rolls stealth against perception. If you don't beat their perception, I'm not going to let you roll the rock. And you brought this on yourself. You brought this on yourself! So the stealth you're talking about is after Baron silently opens the door. Yes. Now it's to see if you're talking about is after Baron silently opens the door.

Yes. Now it's to see if you're able to act in a way that beats their perception. Listen, these guys may not have great perception. You know who has great stealth? Sir Will the Paladin. Well, you can stay outside anyway. You don't have to come in. Yeah, he'll stay outside.

You're just staying because you're not going to be in there anyway. Before we open the door and before I cast darkness, knowing now this is a plan, I can give everybody a cloak of shadows. Oh, God. How convenient to be able to... Sorry, I started this. Backtrack all this and give everyone a cloak of shadows. Why don't you give everyone a cloak

of shadows? I do. That's what he's doing. I don't think it's that crazy. We're all just asking for one action. I know, butew is trying to advocate for four actions for his character before and you're already i would like a four action surprise around baron just shot off four bullets and matthew's like whoa whoa whoa whoa hold on i want to give everyone cloak of shadows through a rock for cartwheeling i will not allow cloak of shadows because you did not say that before the iran joe joe threw back that laughter like J. Jonah Jameson in Spider-Man. He just went from totally dead serious face to...

It was amazing. You hang up your Cloak of Shadows before you walk into this room. Perception checks. Stealth checks. What'd you roll, Stealthy McGee? I rolled a 33. Okay. They both heard you.

No rock. What'd you roll? I rolled a 16 and that was amazing. They both heard you. No rock. What'd you roll? I rolled a 16, and that was amazing. They both heard you. I rolled a 30. 30. Both heard you. Nestor?

Uh, 31. Wait, they both heard you. Wow. They have really good perception. One of them rolled a natural 20. One of them rolled a 10. They have a plus 24 to perception. What did they hear, though?

Us going through? It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. They have a plus 24 to perception. What did they hear, though? Us going through the silent door? The door opened, but as you came to act, they heard you and were able to react. So now they get a surprise round. No, because you were the aggressors in this case. Listen, it's all very, we're just kind of bippin' and boppin' here. The boards are going to kill this. What's going to happen?

It's fine. At the end of the day, I've got to adjudicate, and what I'm allowing is just a regular round to happen. What you're allowing is dice roll. Why don't we just play the game? Yeah, maybe we should just roll some dice. Is that Matthew over there? I can't see behind his cloak of shadows.

You know what I'm going to do is I'm going to erase that rock. You just talked yourself out of a rock. I had a cloak of shadows. My stealth check just went up nine points. You didn't have a cloak of shadows because you didn't say you cast it before you walked into the room. You hung it up in the belfry. Yep, there it is. I remember that. I can see it from here. Oh, you know what?

Now that I think of it, my characters cast greater invisibility on themselves because I had all this extra time to think too. Round one. Baron. Baron is going to attack after calling down another swift judgment of destruction and protection on himself. Misfire.

Here it comes. Critical threat! What did you get? That's the opposite of Misfire! What did you get? Critical threat, critical threat, critical threat. Critical! Critical, critical threat.

It would be so hard to not confirm this, John. Norse foundry for all your critical. Norse foundry. Generated. Natural 20 on the curve. Exploding dice. I did not confirm this, John. Norse foundry for all your critical. Norse foundry. Natural 20 on the curve. Exploding dice. We should say thank you on the air to a well-known friend of the show, Nick Lowe, who bought us all these beautiful maps.

Oh, yes. Oh, he did. Yes. I tweeted it out a few weeks ago. They're maps of New York City drawn in the Tolkien style. Really cool. Mine's just Staten Island on fire well that's that just happened that's more okay mine's they're really gorgeous yeah they really are they're tolkien's like hand-drawn map style it's really really neat thank you nicola thank you you're the best buddy baron i'd love to hear my van critical

joe is digging through uh oh you confirmed oh with a natural 20 that's right uh all right let's go then to lj in newberg oregon lebron james lebron james from newberg oregon uh Oh, Matthew, you'll appreciate this one. Will I? Quigley Down Under. Oh! Starring Tom Selleck? Yeah, starring Tom Selleck.

Tom Selleck feature. I don't know why this stands out to me, but isn't it one of your dad's favorite movies? I just remember watching it with my dad. I was like, what is this? And he's like, it's Quigley Down Under. I just watched it for the first time like a year ago. Yeah, I did too. I didn't watch the whole thing, but it was on Amazon Prime.

I think we talked about it. You were like, I remember my dad watching that movie. All right, Quigley Down Under. Your initial attack does normal damage, but you immediately gain an additional attack that has triple your normal range increment and does triple damage. Whoa.

This extra attack can be used on any target, though you must still make a successful attack against that target's AC. Wow. That's pretty good. Basically, it's normal damage, but you get another attack of your highest base attack bonus, which is triple if you hit. Okay, so this first attack is 30 points of damage against the

giant. Alright, so 30 points of damage against the giant that you attacked and then you get a free attack that's triple damage if you hit the other one? Any target. Oh, so you're going to attack this guy again. Yep. And if you hit,

it's triple damage. That's a 15 on the die for triple damzoni. Would triple be quadruple for you? Yeah, it's quadruple, right? Yep. Alright, so that will be nice. It's actually quintuple. Quintuple. Is it really?

By our rules. Yeah. You could tell him no, since it ruined the show, but. No, I mean, you did get the jump on him. He looked daggers at Matthew. Absolute daggers. I was about to share a little tidbit about Quigley Down Under. You know who's in Quigley Down Under?

Who? Susan Sarandon. No. Cloak and McShadow? No. Noted Troy beloved actor, Ben Mendelsohn. Oh. Ben Mendelsohn?

Was he like 16? It seems like he was very young. But Budding Ben Mendelsohn. That was like 92? It is. 1990. 90. Wow. Yeah. He 92? It is. 1990. 90. Wow.

Yeah. He's good, man. Wow. You first turned me on to him in Bloodline. Bloodline. Yeah, Bloodline. And then I saw him. And obviously he was in Star Wars and then a couple other things.

I was just like, this guy is so good. He is really, really good. He is otherworldly in the first season of Bloodline. Yeah, he's phenomenal. Otherworldly. I'm like, I've never seen someone act like that. He acts so good. He acts so good. He acts so good.

How do I act so well? Give me quintuple damage. 136 points of damage. He is immediately dead. Yes! Yes! Strike 2000! Oh, poor one out for Dogrith.

That's amazing. So I mean you. Boom. Boom! He goes down. The other guy is turning towards you. Headshot. Do you have any shots left?

We've made no sound. I have three. Yeah, that's right. Three shots left. Three shots left. Are you within range? I am not, but I'm going to spend grit to enact my Deadeye. Yeah, Deadeye.

So I'm going to take a minus two on this attack, but still use Touch AC to hit with. Here we go. 25 against Touch AC. Yep. God, I wish he rolled another natural 20. I'd laugh

so hard. 28 points of damage. He's got nine more rolls. Yep. Still standing. It's his first time he's been hit. 18 on the nine more rolls. Yeah, still standing. It's his first time he's been hit. 18 on the die for a 30 to hit. Yep. Actually, a 28 to hit.

Wait, 28 to hit against regular AC? No, I'm still spending. I'm spending all this for each of these. That will be, oh, almost max damage. 39 points of damage on the second attack. Final attack. And a lot of grit today. That's all I know.

That will be... 10 against Touch AC. 10 against Touch AC is a miss. All right. Okay. How the mighty have fallen. And that's not a miss five. I'm shocked. No. No, no, no. That's not a misfire I'm shocked No

No no no That's only a plus seven On my final attack I thought three was a misfire On a full round I'm taking the minus two For shooting outside Of my range increment

Genius Your character is complicated So it's easy to lie about Let me tell a very quick story So I'm in college And I'm in my senior year and uh i'm in marketing that's my major and it's just a bullshit major i don't even care and the school has put a ton of money into food marketing that's what they focused on so they're trying to train and crank out like these executives bound for the biggest supermarkets and the biggest food companies

for like how to sell food uh to people and so i am like i'm not i don't care about you know the food business i'm just like there to get a degree and get out of there and uh we have this one class and we have to do a project where we all have to like pitch this idea to a company and like and it's not a food class. It's just a regular marketing class. And everybody picks some sort of food company. And this dude who was teaching us was like a COO of like Albertsons or something like a big regional supermarket chain. And I was literally with my group, I was like, why would we pick food? It is the one thing this guy knows everything about. Why don't we just pick a completely different business,

do that. And he'll have no idea like if it's good or not. And I mean, we did it and he was just like, I don't have any questions. That was phenomenal. Everybody else. He picked apart like out of the shred.

You know, they were trying to impress him with food. You know what I mean? I was just like, it's the thing he knows the most. So yeah. When you're running a gunslinger, nobody else really has ever played it or looked at the character. She's just like, whatever Grant says, I guess that's how it works. He's the thing he knows the most. So, yeah, when you're running a gunslinger, nobody else really has ever played it or looked at the character sheet.

It's just like, whatever Grant says, I guess that's how it works. He's the expert. We have to rely on him. He's the one who knows how it works. I trust him because I don't feel like thinking about it. I will say, however, that we did nothing to get rid of this fire. So I'm going to say that we should be taking some environmental damage if we continue to stay there. I'm looking at the environmental damage table right now.

I'm thinking that, like, a kitchen fire is minor 1d6 to 2d6 damage. It was magical fire that does, let me read, 8d6? No. 35 d20s worth of damage. Well, now we know you're lying. That's book six. That's weird. 35?

No, sorry. You know I trust him because I don't have it in front of me. Don't worry about it. You're shooting through the flames. Didn't you put fire buff on you? Yeah. It's eating away at that. Awesome.

It's Metro's turn. I roll my rock of darkness into the room. Oh, I already deleted it. You got to start again. Okay, there's the rock. All right, Metro roll to hit ac5 yep natural one natural got it got a natural one no all right damn it uh it's dark now you can't see them except if you can i will honestly say it's amazing how small a 20 foot radius looks in giant

slayer maps yeah that is normally you're like oh my god i forgot that two of my allies are going to be in that this looks so tiny i know it's a scale yeah there's more to this room i haven't even revealed yet just because there's uh there's so much i'll give you a little bit just because you guys are on fire

because you guys are so red hot obviously this the stairs uh there uh to the john to the west, northwest, there's a set of double doors directly across from you, leading west. There's also a set of double doors to the south, leading deeper into this floor. This is a pretty gorgeous room. Yeah. This is cool.

Well, I told you, it was opulent. It looks like a bit of a throne room. It's laid out in a really cool way. Where is the throne? All the way to the north, right? Straight to the north? Yeah. I don't see it on the map. Don't worry about it. Just use your imagination. I need help. I don't. I just

made a rock. Isn't that enough for you? I made a rock from nothing! It's Nestor's turn. Alright, Nestor is going to full attack against the lone remaining giant with rapid shot, of course. First attack is a 34 to hit. 34 is a hit. Okay.

And that's 68 points of damage. 68 points of damage. Okay. Still up. Alright. Second attack is also a hit. 46 points of damage.

46 points of damage. Still up. Third attack. Oh, of damage. Still up. Uh, third attack. Oh, is a 90-16. That's a 37 to hit. 37 is a hit. 44 points of damage. And the giant falls. Yeah! Dude, you didn't even have to go that

long. And we close the door and disappear in a second. Disappear forever. And we'll see you next week. Yeah! Oh, man! Talk about a strike team next week. Yeah! Oh, man. Talk about a strike team. A strike team. Oh, my God. Sir Will, are you ready?

Is Lexington... Are you on Lexington? I literally said I wouldn't have a turn until next week, and I was not kidding. Read about it in the paper tomorrow. Oh, that was... I don't know who this is. I don't know. player and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo. All Pathfinder images are property of Paizo and are used with permission.