The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 297 - Cloudy with a Chance of Sweet Mauls

Episode Date: September 28, 2021

With the orcs defeated, the heroes turn their attention to the rest of Ironcloud Keep's second floor. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. Troy, um, just wanted to check in. I'm getting from your tone, you're not rooting for us right now. No. It seems sad. No, no, no. Who are your friends? With one of their own stranded down below.

Nestor has been waiting for this. His anger has just been building as he's been climbing this ladder at top speed. The party turned to the chief defender. Sweet! Biggie, biggie, biggie, biggie! Sweet! To end the battle. 26 points of damage on the first attack.

And it falls. Yeah! But the war is far from over. You are flawless. You are lawless. You deserve to die. Nahlgrith watches you.

And the Blood God will have his payment. The adventure continues. He's been cursed. Now. Last week was a special week. It was a real special week here for the Glass Cannon Podcast because it was the week that we finally broke iTunes.

Stop saying iTunes. that we finally broke itunes stop saying itunes it's so embarrassing to our company old what is it called apple podcasts back in my day it was called itunes back in my day it's called itunes and the t was lowercase i can't believe we broke real media player after all these years my soon is useless my soon is useless your rio mp3 player has no power here i found an old uh business card i had made for metagame theory and it was like joe brian producer host one of the links was like twitter uh uh i can't remember the second one was and zune it was like a zune link this is so pathetic i don't even know what zune is oh it was an itunes it was an itunes link in a zune link do you guys not listen to podcasts via kazaa i don't use i find pirated mp3s of all the podcasts i listen to and that and malware together yeah limewire a big limewire listener

i i like uh my search engine of choice is ask jeeves underrated very really underrated you got a question just ask you i just i'm just so i'm hooked on keywords just i can't type in the whole address just give me that sweet aol keyword i'm good to go well we did break apple podcast i mean i don't think we broke it we knew that this day was coming and uh to joe's credit joe is always like what are we going to do ma'am once we get over 300 episodes and so a couple weeks ago we were looking at it and we found a handful of podcasts that have more than 300 episodes on itunes um and itunes or apple podcast what the fuck it's called and so we were

like it looks like it you've got it you've got it right you just i oh my god it used to be called itunes it used to be well several years ago do we so we when we said on our early episodes like make sure you leave us a review on apple podcast we didn't we said itunes yes because it was called itunes then and we haven't asked for those in a long time so the app is called apple podcast too huh we should actually ask if you haven't rated us on apple podcast well drop a rating the main point of this story is episode one is no longer on there. And now that you listen to this, episode two is no longer on there either.

And that's a real bummer. But it's completely our fault. It is. And it's easily solved. You just refuse to solve the problem. Well, I'm going to have to solve it. If I haven't already solved it by the time this episode is out,

we have to start a new feed that'll be called like OG episodes or something but that feed will have the same problem eventually no it won't what are you talking about we literally just have to change our host the feed stays the same nothing changes for anyone and all the episodes are on there no it's not it's not a blueberry problem it isn't okay yeah it really isn't uh that surprises me i completely disagree i i don't want to talk uh talk tales about uh blueberry because it doesn't seem like there's any good podcast hosting out there uh but i quite love where i'm where my podcast is being i know and we have side quest side session on there and

wicked empire but the the point of this is it's not a hosting problem it's an itunes problem itunes itunes is dead it's not itunes apple podcast whatever the hell it is is they only accept 300 episodes but the app shows all the episodes however your feed reader can only it'll only put i'm not 100 sure how it works but it's not a blueberry problem so is it stopping the first bunch of episodes at the beginning or is it cutting it off at the end if you're listening to this right now, episode one and two are gone. Wow.

And that sucks. But they're on our website. They are on our website. But if you're a new listener, which we get millions of every week, I want you to listen, start at episode one, and I want you to listen to our new intro that I put in there a while back. And now it's just, it's not in the feed.

This is an easily solved problem that is, you're wrong, and someone is going to write and tell us all about how to fix so if i switch over our podcast to anchor you think that all 300 episodes will be there because how do how do other podcasts have more than 300 episodes i've read on apple no less than 20 articles yesterday there was like itunes or apple podcast stops at 300 episodes. But we saw it with our own eyes. We did. But. But.

Someone, I was reading about this as well. And I saw Blueberry say they limit to 300 episodes. It's not a Blueberry thing. I really don't think it is. But it's also, by the way, it has to be a Blueberry thing because it's not, episode one is gone from every podcast app. Not just Apple Podcasts. Right. It's gone from Spotify.

It's gone from Overcast. It's gone from Podbean bean if that's your thing damn we do get some pod bean reviews every once in a while i'll get an email get a hot pod bean review got pod guys got a new review on pod bean well it sucks and uh i mean yeah i'm happy to migrate the feed that's super easy to do and doesn't take hours of my life away it actually was very simple when i did it what were you migrating a feed of four fucking episodes what are you doing with every with each episode not changing anything it's the same concept we migrated from square square square space blueberry i i almost killed myself it's so such a pain in the ass blueberry Blueberry to Anchor is seamless. But just so we're clear.

We want to believe that. Just so we're clear, Matthew. And then you're going to go on the website and change all of the players that are Blueberry players on every single episode of the show? That will take a minute. However, you just pointed it out. No one goes to our website. No one goes to the website. Luckily, it'll only take one minute.

take one minute and then you also of course have the time that you have to change every apostrophe to uh back from an ampersand and like four characters uh and every e becomes like an a diphthong yeah it's a very strange uh no this is what troy is afraid of that it's going to foul up every title every description formatting it'll be like an ampersand pound exclamation point just every time there's a T. You just have to go in and fix the T's. Listen, I hope that by the time someone is listening to this 297, this has been solved and it's not a problem.

But I have mentioned it. If it's not, I would be willing to bet you cash right now that someone's going to write in and be like, this is very easily solved. And here's how it's solved. Well, see, here's the thing. I'm complaining about it in a way that hopefully I can outsource the problem to someone that will do the work for us to be like, yo, idiot, you just need to do this.

Right, they will. So please write in because we can't figure it out. Can we talk about a big change that you successfully executed? And that is the change from the Red Sox hat to the New York Giants hat today. Oh, you like that? Man, it's feeling like fall now. A little chill in the air. Yep, Joe said I look like a dad now.

Yeah, I bought one for Archer and I. Dash's head is going to grow by the time I order it and it arrives. So I didn't get him one, but Archer's pretty psyched. You look like an undercover cop that hasn't done a very good job. That's what it is. Excuse me, do you know where I can buy drugs? Hello, football fans. Does anyone sell cannabis around here?

I'm stretching it out. I don't know if my head's gotten fatter or what, but it feels a little tight. You look like an offensive coordinator. You look like a quality control coach. With the headphones on? Yeah, with the cap on. You just need a pencil out the side of the headphone over your ear. I used to have writing utensils.

Oh, here we go. Yeah, let's be right. You just need like a giant iPad and to be screaming at a 6'5", 300 pound man. Let's go trap left, right, Hawkeye, blue, seven, all the two. And you have to constantly reach down at your belt like something's not

working on the thing. Can we get you a giant laminated sheet that you can put it in front of your mouth that would improve all of our experience yeah yeah whenever you get mad just put the pull this laminated sheet up in front of your face you know it would be fun to have a co-gm that just sends me plays because i can focus on tactics i'm just focusing on like a million other things someone up in the booth someone to be like oh okay all right i'll cast i'll cast greater they could sit up there at the upper level in the studio that would be amazing yeah have a co-gm that just feeds tactics like into your ear right yeah yeah you know you have

this ability that you're totally ignoring right now that's a good call all right so move 15 feet to the right that That would be fun. I'm sure that wouldn't make you furious at all. I'd be waving him off. No, no, I got this. I'm calling an audible. We're going for it. We're going for it.

I'm readying in action. This is getting to the end here, end of the March to 300 and the end of this series. And it's definitely not stressful at all and not a ton of work i was uh lamenting uh to joe and skid when they came in today because i came in like an hour and a half before everybody else just to stare at paint drying and i was looking at one encounter not even one encounter one creature in one encounter that you might face uh not even today but just in the future and i stared at it for 45 minutes and i still don't feel like i

fully understand what to do or i'm just not that i fully don't understand but like i know that like if you walked in that combat today i'd forget four things on there that are just super super simple uh this is uh this is getting chunky yeah yeah it's really hard when you get to this part of the game because it just gets so the complexity just multiplies and multiplies and it just it's really hard when you get to this part of the game because it just gets so, the complexity just multiplies and multiplies. And it just, yeah, it's hard. It takes away from some of the role-playing opportunities, I feel like. And the prep, it just gets so much more stressful. For characters, too, like Joe was talking about,

it's just like, oh, I have these abilities that you just lose track of and they can make a difference in a fight yeah i mean it literally there's another way it's just there's a way to write this character uh as opposed to like a nice one sheet with everything really tiny there's a way to to write this character that was just it could land on in front of you in 50 pages you know like there's just this huge document explaining the details of every one of your abilities and how they work and where they would work. That like, you have to have that fucking memorized when you sit down to play.

It's like, yeah, I feel like with Sir Willie's got so many fun abilities that I feel like in the heat of playing on Mike, I'm going to forget some small thing that he can do at a certain point that could help somebody and they might die because I forgot it. It's stressful. And then you're an idiot for forgetting. and then totally yeah then you're stupid exactly what i was saying is like at this level uh you this it's intended the game is intended

this way that this is the only character in your life like you know like this is the character you are devoted to at 16th level because it takes all of your time and energy to really remember everything that they can do. It's tough. Yeah. And we also don't have a lot of experience playing this even unrecorded. Like when I sit down to prep a CR 18 encounter, I'm like, wow, I have never done this. Yeah. This is a lot.

Yeah. You're seeing feats that are the end of a feat tree that you're just like, wow, what is greater improved weapon engineering? I don't know. We'd be happy to accept the Storm Tyrant's surrender if you just want to roleplay. Yeah, I mean, it would really just be my surrender. Like I just take my queen and tilt it over. We can roleplay that as long as you want. we can role play that as long as you want.

Well, yeah, you know, it's, it's, it's the added stress is that we just have so much else going on, like ending androids and aliens ending this, but then throwing in episode 300 on top of it. And then all the other shows we,

we put on, it's like, uh, it's just a lot and I'm not complaining about it cause we, we love what we do and we're touring. Um, but, uh,

yeah, it's, it's, it's stressful because I want it to be good're touring um but uh yeah it's it's it's stressful because i want it to be good you know i want it to be good i don't want to make mistakes um well yeah that's what it is for me too it's like the combination of wanting to have good story and good role playing uh while also never forgetting a thing on this massive list of of like small details uh i just don't want to forget anything yeah it's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky but last week i mean talk about complicated i think it went uh as smooth as it can be when uh for the largest initiative tracker i've ever seen no exaggeration uh you guys came out of it virtually unscathed uh after killing a dozen orcs some more powerful than others and this yipotrial uh this runaway uh porcine monstrosity

as the last orc uh perished uh he he cursed baron and i said this as we were prepping i think you guys like what happened last week i'm like like dying or curse baron and grant was like Perished. He cursed Baron. And I said this as we were prepping. I think you guys are like, what happened last week? I'm like, dying orc cursed Baron. And Grant was like, I don't see anything on my sheet. I'm like, well, it's a flavor curse. It wasn't a real bestow curse. But maybe it was.

Maybe Grant himself will be cursed by this. A real life curse. A real life curse. But now you're standing in this room you've got a door leading to the south a door leading to the west and a stairway leading somewhere and i can't remember if it's north or south it's up or down i want to say it's up no i think it was no that's the stairway that uh sir will trotted up right yeah sorry that's right thank god all right so there's only two doors uh i have i've prepped every possibility okay uh you can also surrender if you want just let the storm tyrant take over the world uh but yeah let's never let that happen let's see what

you want to do here did you search the bodies and shit? I don't even remember. No, no. We just, we only had time for the curse. You only had time for the actual curse. We only had time for the curse. This is a blood god. It's going to be haunting Baron Steps. Well, let's talk about the big guy. The general. His name was General Numarak.

God, he had some cool shit. This is one of those things that, like, because I made fun of human fighters so much early on. This was a 15th level fighter. And, like, I get it now. I get it. But it's still a lot of work. You've got to, like, decide early on. I'm going to be this type of fighter.

And that's all you are forever. Right. to like decide early on i'm going to be this type of fighter and that's all you are forever right i'm going to work on my improved impaling critical so that by 15th level uh gunslinger can kill me in two rounds he had a potion cure serious wounds and here's a good thing he worked on that as well these are uh medium creatures so you don't have to worry about resizing armor and everything if there's something you like, you can use it. This dude had a potion of cure serious. I'm not going to have you roll a spell craft anymore.

Really? Yeah. Rats of the adventure. Yeah. For the rest of the adventure. Unless it's an artifact. Can I get that in writing? Yeah. No, we're going to kill you on the boards for that.

They're going to kill you on the book. As already discussed. I don't have a pencil. Do we remember what our currently unidentified items are? Cause we've been failing some of those and i we were lamenting the idea of like not having a wand of identify they're all artifacts uh you know it's i do this on the live show too like sometimes heavy roll sometimes i don't really care uh also like this gear it's not like well i can't wait to get back to true now and sell it for the next adventure doesn't

matter at this point you're either going to use it or you're not. That's what I said. And I got some shit for it. Yeah. I was basically like, this is pointless. Let's just not even catalog the gear. If we truly can never leave the castle. I like having a ledger at the end of the adventure, assuming you survive.

I'm just like saying, saying oh now my character is worth uh 300 000 gold pieces and just picturing their lives from that point forward yeah what kind of interest they'll learn just like crazy rich yeah i love thinking about that let me ask you this skit no one is more equipped to answer this question than you when bilbo returns uh to the shire after the events of the hobbit we'll say the the the real the real version not the movie version uh what level do you think bilbo would be oh wow that's a good question yeah at the end of the i mean that's he's got a lot of treasure in there yeah i think he because the the dwarves they give him his share because i think he's like it's got a 113th share. But I think he really comes back

with two small chests of treasure that gets kind of blown up in the public perception, the imagination in Hobbiton. But I think he's probably like 11, 12, 13. 11, 12, 13. Yeah, so he caps out at 13.

Yeah. Because it's a full adventure, but it's not really long. Yeah. That's why I would have said eight. Eight. I was targeting eight. Yeah, he did have 12 companions. Yeah, there's a lot of XP split there.

Do they give him the XP for smog? Well, I think he... Depends on the GM. I think he would get a lot of XP for the role play that he did right yeah yeah treasure chest full of bottle caps i think he would get xp as though he defeated him in combat i think that's what he would get and that's like that'll put him to 12 that's like four levels right there so i think about that sometimes with joe's characters that are particularly intent on holding and making sure they do the right thing and doing nothing. Like, he gets full XP for that battle?

Yeah. It is interesting. I enjoy giving out individual experience and not just dividing everything equally down the line. I like giving experience for not defeating a creature. I like it for a specific thing. And having people level up at different times. One of my favorite things in playing as a kid was like, all right, you get 200 XP for that.

And I would record it on my sheet. And then like, I tell the GM when I level up. Right. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's what I miss. Yeah. I wanted to do it with something.

Curse? No. Curse. Echo Quest. Definitely Curse. Echo Quest. But, yeah, yeah it's what do you think bilbo's class would be uh rogue straight rogue no multi-class dip he's a burglar thief uh no i think straight rogue i don't think he would ever multi-cloud like he never does enough combat to

you know justify anything yeah that's that's a rogue do you ever grant with a bunch of points in umd yeah but do you ever grant partial experience for like escaping a battle because in real life that's experience you you survived you learned something you realized how to get out like it but i don't feel like adventures are often written like they get 25 experience if they escape this boss battle yeah my way of doing leveling i should probably just reveal it at some point is it's very different like sometimes it's not really it's not milestone based and it's not full xp based it's somewhere in the middle uh it's it's half xp base it's half xp that would like that would explain a lot sometimes i'll be

i'll look at the milestone i'll see where you guys are at and then i'll go back and track all the experience you've done since the last time you leveled up and i do the math and i see like how close you are to the milestone and then i just make judgments based on like how good is the role playing but is this that stuff like that um it's exhausting milestone leveling is a lot easier but uh you know we've also dealt with parties coming in at different levels back in the day. Remember we had some characters where that's when I had spreadsheets where I was adding the XP. But anyways, Potion of Cure series.

Plus three half plate. Oh, nice. Plus three heavy steel shield. Oh, nice. Plus three heavy steel shield. Oh. Plus two vicious heavy pick. Ooh.

Don't sleep on that. Plus two vicious heavy pick. Pema Shellslider would like that. Yeah, she'd love that. Bet she would. Three masterwork throwing axes. A pouch with coins and gems worth 1,350 gold pieces. And here's a good one in case anybody's pants need help being held up. A belt of physical might plus four.

That adds a plus four to strength and con. Wow. Wow. All right. Ready to move and con. Wow. Wow. All right. Ready to move on? That is the general. That was just the general? Yeah, that was just...

What a badass. He was rich. That's awesome. Seriously, he's like a legendary orc. I know. I feel like we didn't get to meet him enough. Yeah. You're too busy killing.

The two chieftains had... They had two potions of cure moderate each. So four potions of cure moderate. A, they were wearing plus two full plate. They had a plus one orc double ax. Masterwork composite short bow with a plus four strength rating. And some gold. You don't care about split those potions of cure mine i i care uh 88 gold pieces each yeah see that's tip money for the sky

caps on our way home if someone's gonna have to park this thing some of the ballet buy something oh thank you sir 88 gold pieces you really need a have to park this thing. Some of the valet. Buy something. Oh, thank you, sir. 88 cold paces. You really need a professional to park a sky castle. Cloud castle. Yeah, the valets will be parking the castle. And the pig didn't have anything. And the orcs, nothing of interest. Okay.

So yet again, you stand in a room full of dead bodies. Two doors leading out. One to the south and one to the west. The Diane West. Nestor is standing in the midst of this carnage and he's just like, this really takes me back, you know? This is great. I stand in a room full of all corpses, blood everywhere.

Makes you feel young again. I love it. Too bad you missed some of it. Saw you fall there. Yeah, well, I knew you were a very capable lot, you know? And, you know, leave them wanting more, as they say. Who says that? Me old dad.

Till, uh, well, very sad story. Won't go into that again. I for one look forward to a day when I don't have to stand in a room like this. I'm tired of death. But what must be done must be done.

I will see it through. Then I don't wish to see anything like this again. And he's particularly looking at like the lower leveled orcs that just got annihilated by Metra. You know, it's just like, there's just no, it's just massacre. You know what i mean like of not innocence of course but like they're a little people that were led astray by you know leader after leader that were just pieces of shit and um even they think they're here to align with the storm tyrant but if the uh gorniak downstairs was correct the storm Storm Tyrant looks at them as trash.

Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, talk about being led astray. And Baron, you very wisely, but perhaps cowardly, did not accept his offer for single combat, having seen how that went with your old buddy Lork back in the day. Do you feel anything from his dying words to you? Do you feel anything from his dying words to you? I think Baron hears what Sir Will says about looking forward to a day where this doesn't need to be seen anymore, experienced by him, and he thinks about how I used to take great pleasure in revenge against orcs and giants and anyone who stood in my way, but nowadays I just see a sea of ponds being manipulated by the storm tyrant i take no pleasure in these kills um no pleasure either but what must be done must be done

no but like you know he he challenged you to single combat and you were like no i'll just shoot you with a gun which i mean makes total sense to me but i just figured that like with you and your morality which mystifies me if i don't know if it would make you feel like guilty on some level i just don't know i don't i don't understand your mindset in the least i'm curious as to why i refused no not is it no i totally understand why you refuse it's like you have a gun he doesn't fucking kill him i just don't know whether i mean illuminate me whether you would feel guilty on some level sort of rejecting a a legitimate challenge to a duel on certain grounds if that makes you feel like less of a dwarf or whatever, I don't know.

Nothing makes me feel like less of a dwarf, Nestor. We were on even playing field with his weapon of choice that he trained with his entire life and me with mine. Were we to take away our weapons that we were trained in the ways of death with, he would have the upper hand because he was born stronger than me. I am not afraid to say that I was not born as strong as an orc. All right. That's literally all I wanted to know.

I'm still learning. Yeah. I'm still learning what makes you tick, and I'm sort of trying to piece it together from anecdotal sort of evidence and i mean it was very helpful thank you sure i don't see any uh valor whatsoever in allowing someone much stronger than me to strangle me to death yes see then i think there is some common ground between the two of us yeah Yeah. You know, despite what people might think, he looks at Metro. So... Metro looks behind her. Is there someone back there?

Is there someone behind her? How many people do you think Baron has personally killed? Oh, Jesus. Wow. Oh, man. It's a body count.

Five and a half books and you've done a lot of the killing blows. It's like John Wesley Harden looked like Mother Teresa. I like how quickly you could catch up to the body count though. If we found a couple more rooms filled with the works and just a chain lightning or fireball. Yeah.

You'd be up there pretty quick. You're a demigod now basically. Yeah. I mean, six, 15 or 16th level now. Yeah. 16th level sorcerer is no joke.

That's not a joke. Yeah. It's going to take a big accident for you to die. That's not true. I mean, I'm pretty squishy. I'm not wearing armor. Yeah. So, you know, a mistake at the wrong time.

Bad luck. Bad luck on a roll. I don't get cast offensively off. Or just an ambush. Yeah. Yeah. Prepping these remaining encounters in the book.

I'm like, how do these people not just kill them? And the thing is, this is a real higher initiative. You kill them first. Yep. That's it.

That's the game at this level. You know, part of my strategy sometimes is just trying to make it to the second round. See if I can let something off. But I mean,

there are deadly, deadly encounters left as we get closer to the second round. See if I can let something off, but I mean, there are deadly, deadly encounters left as we get closer to the end. And so even though you made not short work, but easy work when you consider the size of this, you know, battle,

you all have to know that, like, darkness is coming. How is everyone feeling? Is anyone injured? I am. Sir Will comes trotting up. I am a bit injured, yes. Thank you, sir.

Thank you, Sir Will. Yeah, a bit. A bit. Feel a bit off. Come, gather round. I hurt my ankles slightly when I fell and landed at the base of the chimney. I believe I can handle that oh lovely what about you sheriff are you injured i'm injured and i think i can help out with this uh wand um and we have

what i believe is one wand with 50 charges left pure light all right well don't burn it just yet let me do one um so i'll say gather around and say a brief prayer well he's talking to himself and i will say a prayer to the inheritor that she see us through the dangers yet to come uh okay so that is uh 20 awesome five points of healing a channel positive energy excellent that's plenty for me 25 points of holy healing to the group that's so close for me i'm fine i'm lower so i'm gonna burn some level one spells on myself and should be good after that and keep the wand where it is which way are you thinking of going here you got two options unless you go back up the chimney it sounds like the only way to go

is two-time oscar winner diane weist you are a weist fan who isn't she's great she's great uh sorry it was don't speak sorry it's 28 not 25 so just yourself three more nice all right what's your favorite diane weist movie matthew i don't know um or roll maybe it's a good question bullets over broadway i I mean, she's amazing in all those movies. Did you see I Care A Lot, actually? No. The movie's called I Care A Lot.

It's on Netflix now, right? Yes. The part she plays is you think she's playing a kind of generic Diane Weast-y part, and then she actually gets to do something really fun. Oh. Okay. Not my favorite, but definitely an interesting one. She's amazing in Bull over bright did she win

the oscar yes yeah yeah she did but i don't like that film as much as as woody's other movies uh hannah and her sisters is my favorite one that she's she won the oscar for that too because i love that movie edward scissorhands for me her finest hour also the how many seasons did she do on law and order as the da she was like oh right a few joe quick diane weist favorite film parenthood he doesn't know she is never never seen her in my life we just named six movies that she six major movies that she did i didn't listen to one thing i didn haven't even heard you talking for the last What three minutes He does zone out I've been looking at the Roll20 map

He gets focused You know this He gets focused on something One thing at a time And that's it Oh I know Diane Weist Yeah You know

Now let me look up what my favorite movie is first The Birdcage She's in the Birdcage she's in the bullets over broadway welcome to the conversation what a weird brain i would enjoy the rest of the rest of the episode it's just joe idly rolling through diane weisg skirts and be like, oh. She was in this. It's a good movie. She is in this new movie called I Care A Lot that I've seen on Netflix.

I'm just kidding. Oh my god. I Care A Lot has that woman that I can't tolerate after Gone Girl. Oh, Michelle. Rosamund Pike. Yeah, Rosamund Pike. god i care a lot has that woman that i can't i can't uh i can't tolerate after uh gone girl oh michelle rosamund pike yeah rosamund pike like this is called girl she just gives me the she's so scary so you want to go to the west uh yeah it's the west i believe the word is

you guys want to go to the west is? Is it portulist thing? Go weest, young man. Shoot some bullets over this Broadway. You walk up to this huge door. The weestern door. The weestern door. The door to the weest. The door to the weest! It's ten feet wide, ten feet tall.

Big old door like all the doors you've come across in Zephyr Hall. Now called Ironclad Keep. What do you do? Who opens? So we'll do a perception check as he gets close. Lean in. See if you can hear any danger. Fourteen.

You don't hear anything. A baron will do his own perception check knowing that... Sheriff! I've got it. Fear not. Please, Will. Please. Just wait one moment.

Please. I am a day herself, blesses my ears. That is going to be a 43. You are such a dick. You don't hear anything. Open the door. Okay. I will open the door.

He puts the lance in his off head for a second. Leans over from Lexington and opens the door. He puts the lance in his off head for a second, leans over from Lexington and opens the door. You open the door and you see a small room. And to the southern part of the room that takes up most of the western half of the room is a massive wooden stairway leading up. There's also a door right at the beginning of the staircase leading further south. Sir Will is going to do a perception check.

Trot into the room, do a perception, see if he sees anything else. That is a 15. No. To the north, you notice another window leading. These windows are so weird. They're all like

triangles. Well, they're like windows in castles where they have extraordinarily thick walls they're defensive like uh apertures so it's like you can you're sitting inside like you have a wider field of view than someone looking in yeah but yeah the wall's 15 feet thick yeah here it's a while uh okay sir will is going to look back at Baron, nod his face ahead, not saying anything to the southern door,

and then slowly trot. Come on, Lexington. I love it. Stay calm, boy. And he's going to go to the south, trotting along. Now he gets to the stairs, and just before he crosses in front, he's going to do another perception, listening, before he crosses in front of the stairs for any noise up the stairs.

That is a 20. You listen and look up the staircase. And I mean, it's huge. The next floor, you know, would be another, what, 50 feet ahead. So you don't hear anything up there. And we assume that that is the fire giants. Does that make sense? Do you have a dungeon earring? Uh, no.

No. Yeah, I mean... But I mean, that's... They were right above the orcs, right? Yeah. That was generally where they would be. You're not 100% sure with the way the castle is shaped, if that would lead directly up or not.

But there was no staircase leading up in the room. In that room. Right. Just the secret fireplace entrance. I was just trying to remember level by level. So it may lead to the room just to the west of the fire giant room. And sorry, what's the triangular alcove in the north? Window.

Window. Sir Will will turn on his saddle back to the group. It's about 40 feet behind him. And just nod again to the southern door. Is that where everybody wants to go? Do you want to keep going south? Yeah. Yeah.

South is good. Okay. He's going to come up to that door slowly and do another perception. Uh, that is a, an 11. You don't hear anything He'll open it Okay Wait, perhaps Not to disparage your perceptive abilities

But I might feel more comfortable If Baron took a shot as well Before we open the door Just, you know, it's just a redundancy You know, just like to cover up I'm not as good as spotting these traps, Nestor. You might want to take a look just in case. Oh, well, I mean...

It's more your area of expertise? I didn't want to shove myself into the conversation, but if I'm invited, certainly. Oh, the work of devious, treacherous miscreants. Something you're much more familiar with. Now, I blush at such flattery. treacherous miscreants it's much something you're much more familiar with now i blush it's such flattery uh that is a 30 perception 37 for traps okay the door doesn't appear to be trapped it does appear to be unlocked um you can see from the way the map has been revealed that most likely whatever

room here is to the south is connected to that room that Metra saw on the ethereal plane after she climbed the staircase to the battlements and then went through what looked like the main or came right up to the main door of the building, which I'll ping for you here. It's about 40 feet away. Looked like the main entrance to Zephyr Hall. There were statues that she could kind of see, but again, she was on the ethereal plane. Everything was in black and white, and she was moving quickly. There were guards in that room, right? Remembering then, back to when you were doing some scouting on the ethereal plane,

it is most likely that you saw those guards in the room that you're about to walk into, and with Nestor's perception check, he does hear some shuffling and whispers. A bit of shuffling and whispers on the other side of the door. Draw your own conclusions. Sir Willamette moves the lance over to his primary hand, gets it braced up against his leg, point it straight up, and gets ready for a fight he's just gonna come back about 15 feet from the door

and stand there wait for the lead of the sheriff for what's next here's something I've always wondered about are you high enough bonus wise to where like a touch of law before we open a door would be beneficial to you

or be bad to auto-roll an 11? You mean for an attack? Yeah. All your 20s. I would always hit on an 11. If it was a charge or something like that, yeah. So let me just see one more time. But it only lasts one round.

Yeah, so the only way that would actually work is if you open the door and went right into initiative, which you may very well do. The only way it would work is if you used your first round to do that, which is like, that's a lot for you to use your first round. Well, I could use a surprise round for it. You know what I mean? Like I could be positioned next to you as we open the door. Yeah, but it's still a surprise round. So then when I would get my surprise round i oh it wouldn't happen on that round right all right okay uh yeah then baron will open the door baron

opens with the with the stealth gloves hold on a second sir will want to clear path here as much as possible so if unless somebody really wants to be next to baron at the door and in front of him i would suggest sliding it. Like, Metro, could you get behind Baron? There you go. And I'll move up a little bit. Tell me what to do. Whispering gloves on the door.

Stealthy open. Here comes the stealth. 19 on the stealth. Terrible. It was. Oh, wow. But the door. Oh, no!

The entire door is under the effects of a sound spell as it's written by the whispering gloves. This is very true. You open the door. Natural two. Quietly. And you see hallway leading down into a lit room.

Stretches about, I don't know, 60 to 80 feet. It opens a little bit to the west and a little bit to the east. You see no enemy. Okay. And there is, we know there's a pair of double doors

to the weest that we have revealed earlier. Yes. And we're all friends here. I can show you that little, that 15 feet, 15 foot wide. Could you just?

Oh, there we go. I feel so much better. That represents our imaginations filling it in, even though we can't see it right now. That would be a really weird closet right before those double doors. It's an airlock.

So, you know, we've done that before. That has happened before, where it's like you're sitting at the double doors for 10 minutes strategizing, and you open it, and it's 10 feet to another double door. It's true. All right.

Yes. So that's. All right. Yes. So that's what you see. Again, what did I say? I said about 60 to 80. I'll give you our listening audience, which is everyone, a more accurate count. 65 feet from where Baron is standing to the far wall. Any other flavor I can give you from there? There are wood panels on the back wall there.

You see one of them, and there's a tapestry as well, and it looks full of bright colors with, like, images of a sun rising over the horizon. Man, sounds like my old rec room. Maybe some bas-reliefs uh we heard no change in the enemies like nester heard them like walking around when we opened the door we didn't hear like and everything stopped you didn't hear everybody shut up there's some shifting and whispering all right he's gonna look or um sir will look up to metra looking ahead and seeing that it goes around a

corner he's mounted atop lexington so maybe they're of a similar height and he turns to her Sir Will look up to Metra looking ahead and seeing that it goes around a corner he's mounted atop Lexington so maybe they're of a similar height and he turns to her and he says perhaps invisibility would be in order he looks back to Nestor he could get a look

get a jump on them alright I can make you invisible let's see here how many spells i got left day oh yeah where are we on the day i i don't seem like i've used much at all i can't remember i think you i've used a fair amount of spells i feel like oh okay i thought you rested right before you went in but then again you burned a lot of spells in that fight with the orcs i can't remember the last time you rest no i've used a fair amount of spells here uh You can close the door and rastroker. I'll make Nestor invisible.

Regular invisibility so he doesn't have to count the rounds. Okay. All right, cool. Thank you. Which means you'll become visible when you attack. So for right now, it might be good to just use it to take a peek and then tell us what you see. I'm quite silent. So, yeah. So he's going to do a stealth check.

Lexington, stay completely still. 52 stealth. Okay. And he's going to work his way, pad silently, silent as the night, down this corridor and into the room to see what he can see. Of course, while moving, stealth down to plus 20 plus 20 yes to negative 10 but you're still with a 52 even with the penalties for movement i also have the fast stealth talent now too so oh and that lets you i can can move at full speed while stealthed. Huge. Yeah. My understanding of it is it's a plus 20 on top of your stealth. Right.

Yes. To move when you're invisible. Yeah. And plus 40 when you're not moving. Right. Because it doesn't make sense. If you're not moving, how could anyone ever see you? You can't.

Unless you have true seeing. Unless you ate a bunch of garlic for lunch and you can smell something. It's got a weird physical body. It's smelling Italian in here. Something wrong here. We haven't bathed in quite a while, I'm sure. That's true as well. But neither has anyone else.

I hate really, I hate digging into that part of like role-playing fantasy, like making like real true gritty Middle Ages. We have never bathed over the course, or really gone to the bathroom. Actually. Over the course of, I did role-play Dogwrith bathing in the cathedral. I remember specifically wearing a towel and watching Jimmer train after getting a bath.

Well, it's funny. Games like The Witcher and Red Dead Redemption made such an art out of the bath. Yeah, I love that ritual of it. I love it. It's so great. For RPing, like in a video game i love it there's nothing better than a freshly cleaned arthur morgan the best the best uh all right all right nester slides up there and here's the thing couple things are gonna happen oh no you look down this long rectangular room and you see three cloud giants those dudes are big three big old cloud

giants you haven't fought these guys i believe i could be wrong since you first came in they were the ones that were on the list i don't think you've fought any others so far. You know, original inhabitants of Zephyr Hall that have been taken under the wing of the Stormtimer that joined the rebellion against Renfall and the remaining people that were loyal to the former leader of Zephyr Hall. I think his name was Azarth. I'd have to look it up. You see three of them. This room, I can now tell you, it's sparsely

furnished, but densely decorated with these bas-reliefs that Baron saw. Carved wood panels, there's about six of them, and tapestries everywhere showing bright, bright colors and themes of sunrise all over the place. That's the overwhelming theme of this place.

Sunrise. What? Is this the little girl I carried? Three people enjoyed that joke. Every time we do a Glass Cannon Live, there's at least one person who comes up to me and tells me to keep it up with the theater references. So that was for all of them. I was going to say three people enjoyed it it and i wasn't one of them i just gasped because i know the couple things that are going to happen oh no what and it's very very bad oh no i don't know if you do know yeah i think i do i don't know if

troy knows if you don't know i think i know well, I will say you see a door leading to the south. You see a door leading to the east. And the cloud giant that was standing to the door to the east, it looks like he was waiting in case you came in that way. And the one that is 10 feet away from you is like got a hand up as if to say, some idiot just opened the door. They're coming this way. And so they're all focusing their attention on this hallway. They don't see you coming down.

However, right when you get within 10 feet of this guy, he goes. And then they all start smelling. You have one action. What would you like to do? I'm going to book it back through the door and

as soon as I get within whispering distance of the group, it's just like, they're coming! They're coming! Roll for initiative. Yeah, okay, so I was wrong. That's how I thought that they saw invisibility. I thought I remembered this from the ballista. It's like they could see us flying invisible

and shit. Or maybe that was the tower guards. No, they could. You are correct. I remember you made Dalgrith greater invisible in that fight, and you were like, yeah, he can just see you. If you remember remember as you were climbing the chain they were firing at you while you were invisible but in this case it seems

like they couldn't see Nestor but they could smell him okay all right so they've got scent I'm glad you rolled those appropriate die for all the scent mechanics and did it correctly they can sense they can smell it's just a move action to. They can sense, they can smell,

it's just a move action to know the exact direction. So they smell, and that's just stinky crotch. Stinky poo. He's got poop in his poop. And he rolled in there. I know, my diaper, my diaper. I knew we should have changed it. Why didn't you change me? That is your responsibility.

I can't be responsible for my own changing? Oh, boy. Oh, this is going to be big. Baron, what's your roll? 27. Not too bad. Good start. Good start.

12. 12. Nestor. 22. 22. Metra. 16. 16.

Round one. Baron. Baron is going to swift action call down his final judgment of the day. We'll activate a judgment of sacred destruction. I assume Nestor whispered cloud giants as he walked by. We'll also pull down Judgment of Sacred Protection plus two. He is

going to take a five foot step backwards towards Sir Will and we'll cast a spell on Sir Will, which is Lend Judgment. You can choose between the plus two to your AC or the plus four to damage

and it will last the rest of the battle. Wow. Wow. Cool. Which one is it? Your choice. I'm sorry, what's it called? So I can put it into a lab? Sure, it's a judgment of

sacred protection plus two or a judgment of sacred destruction plus four. Okay, very cool. And I have to decide now or I decide each round? I believe you decide now. Yeah, because it's just one judgment, right? Yeah. That ally gains the benefit of one of your active judgments. And what kind of bonus is it?

Chosen when I cast this spell, so you should choose now. And is it a sacred bonus? Yes. Yes, question mark. Bonus increases. Yes, it's sacred. I will take AC. I will take AC.

Okay, great. It's a sacred bonus to AC. A little buff from your old buddy Baron. Is that the end of your turn? Yeah, I don't think there's any other skills or abilities I can do. So, that is it. It is Nestor's turn. Nestor...

Oh, wow. I'm going to delay. You will delay. It is Metra's turn. I'm going to cast haste on everybody. Oh, yes. Haste on everybody. Stir will.

Why are you going to me? Why aren't you letting them go? Why aren't you letting them go? Seriously? Why aren't you letting them go? I know they didn't roll below a 12, LaValley. You don't know? All right, do I have a... What are you going to do?

You son of a bitch! You stop from the power of Taurac! He's going to... His head goes down ever so slightly. And he mumbles a prayer to Ioma Day to protect him. And he's going to cast Iron Skin on himself.

Oh, nice. Which is going to give him a... Is that plus four? It's going to give him a... Bigger than that. Ooh. Because it scales. Oh.

So it's going to give him a big natural armor bonus. So like around his metal armor, you start to see this like scaling form all around. Any skin that's exposed is like hardening into iron. It's like Colossus. Yes. I mean, he starts to look like hardening into iron. It's like Colossus. Yes. He's, I mean, he starts to look like a, yeah,

full metal warrior. And he just like slowly pitches his head up. Um, wait, what was, what was your initiative Metro? 16. And what did you do?

Delayed haste. Haste. Right, right, right. All right. I have to add that okay uh and then don't forget that ac bone yeah so yeah well that stack with iron skin yeah yeah

wait oh haste yeah well yeah sure yeah because that's a dodge bonus this is a dodge bonus this is a secret bonus this is natural it's great so yeah it's stacking uh so yeah and then he's gonna slowly tilt his head up. Seeing we're all standing there waiting and getting the sense from a military standpoint that they're all standing there waiting. He's just going to pitch his head up and say, Subjects of Volsus! And he's going to try to throw his voice and make it sound bigger than he actually is. Your time has come.

Lay down your arms and we shall consider letting you live. Otherwise, prepare to die in Iomedae's name. And Lexington is like getting all jumpy and scratching at the floor and he's just holding Lexington back.

Round two. Baron's turn. Baron will tag on to what Sir Will said and said, You had a sacred duty to the priest of Gosra, Renfall. I know you trained with him. I saw your training grounds.

Lay down your profane alliance with the storm tyrant and go in peace. If not, face our wrath. He holds back his own mount that just appeared underneath his legs. Stay back! Stay back! And when nothing happens,

um... This is stressful. I know. I hate it when he does this. It is the worst. Whenever he decides, sometimes, on a rare occasion, he decides to play really well. And it's very frustrating.

And the monsters are simple, is usually when I do that. They don't have a lot of abilities. Except smash! Except smash and smash! Giant smash! Smash and crash. He's going cast long shot On himself

And uh That's gonna be his turn Alright Why don't we move on to old Nestor coin Hell from last round Uh Nestor I don't have a shot so I'm still invisible though yeah yeah the only

thing i would say is sir willis you can just like don't get in front of him yeah you know what i mean it's like you see lexington's like rearing up is it greater invisibility no it's very regular uh so yeah just as shouts out uh-ish, whatever the giant-ish equivalent of, Olly, olly, octane-free, we're waiting for you, warriors, come out to play, eh? Clink, clink, clink. Yeah, just clinking the bottles. Metra, getting a lot of time to buff here, which is nice. You just want us to drain our spells don't

you oh do whatever you want this is a real battle you know they're there they know you're there uh this feels like a quentin tarantino scene like it feels like a like bad like no one wants to take the first shot type of thing yeah like two people are just freaking out around the corner from each other metra's gonna ready an action okay i'm not gonna tell you what the action is okay sure that Everyone wants to take the first shot type of thing. Like two people are just freaking out around the corner from each other. Metro's going to ready an action. Okay. I'm not going to tell you what the action is. Okay.

I'm sure that I can trust you. Sir Will? Sir Will? You son of a bitch. He's just going to... I'm sorry. Baron. Metro. Lexington cannot be held back. I'm sorry Baron Metro

Lexington cannot be held back This fight must begin now A whole call down the hallway Cards! Death has come to meet you And he unleashes Lexington And is just going to charge at the first dude Which is you just gotta tell me if I can hit him like there and is just going to charge at the first dude.

Which is, you just got to tell me if I can hit him like there. Does that make sense? So he's around the corner, but from where you are angled, you do have the ability to charge right to the edge there and then strike out at this dude. Yeah. Yeah, I'll say you can hit him from there. I'll give him a plus two to his AC. Around the corner there.

Okay. Got that wooden panel around the corner. Just a tiny little boost. Skewer him! You know what? I'm not even going to give him that. You've got a clean shot. That's okay.

I don't mind. The way the wall is. I was just wondering some mechanics here. I was wondering if... Could I see him no all right so i can't cast smite evil on him i mean i can't use a swifty for smite evil in between the charge and the strike right you need to see the creature to cast my evil i would assume so but like my question is like could i cast it mid charge mid charge it's a swift action you can do it anytime you can do a free action once i see him can i do it anyway you know what do we know they're evil

i think they are well cloud giants aren't they're neutral normally right yeah and and menfall certainly was not evil right oh okay that's interesting all right well regardless for this round let me just go and hit um or try to hit okay here we go he charges in natural one and then you couldn't even damage i can't believe i rolled a natural i even rolled a natty one in a minute to confirm i'm so angry that i didn't use my action to cast Touch of Law like a disgust on a boy. I made it through the whole thing. I thought you decided against it. But I was thinking I didn't think it adjusted out of surprise rounds now, so I didn't think about it.

I should have. Oh, my God. I want to redo my turn. It's all right. I did not fumble. I don't think. Well, I don't know. What would you roll?

35. Not a fumble. Okay. All right. Not a fumble is. But All right. Not a fumble. Is. But it is a miss. God, why did I do that?

Oh, God. When you get there, you see that the doors to the west are barred from the inside, and there are peepholes that they could use to look out the door at people that would have been coming in. Barred how? Like a horizontal bar? One big bar? Very similar to the barred doors downstairs.

Same mechanics. So had Metro been corporeal and tried to get through there, they could have been watching and gone after her. But obviously on the ethereal plane, she was safe. You also see that the giant, the cloud giant to the east had gone over to the door there and opened it up last round. So you think, oh, he was going to come around the long way

and attack us on two fronts. But now, of course, you're right there and you're right next to one of the cloud giants and he unleashes a full attack on you. Come on. By the power of Iovide and... What's his name? Steve.

Torek. Torek. Torek. Torek. Torek. Torek. And Steve. By the power of Iovide and her holy union with Steve, please protect me.

He has a gargantuan morning star in his hand, by the way. This is an oversized weapon for a huge creature. They, of course, have an ability that allows them to use it. So with this gargantuan morning star and a 39

strength, he swings at you three times. First attack. 36 to hit. Miss. Oh my god! Lexington like scrapes

into the tile as we're knocked back and then just right back up into position. Second attack. Miss. Yes! Yes! Submit! The bulwark against evil!

Third attack. You shall break against me! And I shall stand. Like waves against rocks! Third attack. Crack die. Critical threat, but I don't think it'll hit you Because it's the lowest

Possible bonus That is going to be a 36 It's a miss So he misses With all three attacks Woo Yes The giant in the middle of the room now goes,

and he just points at Sir Will. Oh, no. And all of you are watching Sir Will come flying down there to try and lance the cloud giant. The cloud giant swings three times. Sir Will blocks all of it, but then all of it. But then all of a sudden, fog begins to fill up the hallway.

And Sir Will disappears. Oh, God. Why do you want this combat the last five episodes? And we'll see you next week. It's going to be fun! It's serious over under three episodes. I'm saying this combat. It's like we're in San Francisco. You know what we're doing?

We're starting episode 300. Because It's like we're in San Francisco. You know what we're doing? We're starting episode 300 because that's where we'll be. Episode 300 starts will be in this room. We will finish it next week. No matter how long

it takes. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015. Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo. All Pathfinder images are property of Paizo and are used with permission. you