The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 301 - Tree for the Tillerman

Episode Date: November 2, 2021

The March to the End begins with a colossal problem. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast, the heroes faced off against a gargantuan horror. It really does look like a combination of a dragon and a plant, and it is gargantuan in size. Oh my goodness. It flies through the open doors leading from the hanging gardens into the room and rears back its head. But the gunslinger turned the tables. Here it comes. Natural 20! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Emboldened by another victory. Second attack. 90-18! Oh! Get him! Okay. 45 more points of damage. Now it's dead. 90, 18. Oh, get him! Oh, no! Okay. 45 more points of damage.

Now it's dead. Oh, yeah! All right! CR 16 creature. I mean, I'm so sorry. They pushed forward into the hanging gardens. You walk out into this garden, leaving the brightness of the greenhouse behind,

but still this open air space where the platform just descends into nothingness on the other political oh no no no, no. So please, please. During the following conversation, Matthew refrained from discussing this administration or prior administrations. However, did you guys hear about this missile that China shot into space? Can fucking circle the globe and then drop a nuke anywhere you mean the thing the russians and the united states have had since the late 50s well i heard that grant grant stop we asked you not to get political you mentioned two specific political entities violating troy's political order what was china when he mentioned it was that not okay they are a neutral party got it they i i heard that america was stymied by their technology when you say heard does it mean you read it from some rando like cousin's

cousin on facebook you hear on twitter it was a meme was it your in-laws facebook it was it was a cousin's facebook but usually her stuff is spot on here's here's the headline for the new york times if china tested a new orbital weapon it's not much of a surprise experts report that similar technologies were developed by russia and the united states starting more than half a century ago the reason you know the new york times only lies right okay the fake uh this is why i because uh i you look around everybody's wearing masks uh for this pandemic and i got pictures back from my son's uh threes program and uh they're all the kids have masks on which is great and everything and then i hear

about this missile technology uh which obviously has already existed but i'm just like is this is this how it's all gonna end that we're just we've become so advanced that like we can't control viruses and someone just could it just takes one crazy person to be like, you know what? Fuck the US. And they just, we're all dead. You know, I think you've achieved your true destiny. You've become a Cold War relic. This is how we spent like every day, like growing up in the 70s and 80s. That was the reality.

It was like any day that was what gonna happen are you aware of stanislav petrov no read me his wikipedia article oh he uh in 1983 uh stopped a nuclear launch from russia onto united states he had false information of radar going to him and he refused to turn the key he violated protocol yes to do it wow so yeah it's already happened during your lifetime scary stuff are you old enough that you had to hide under your desk in school did they run you through those drills i don't like the way you said it but i think it may have come up or maybe there was like an old picture on the wall that they eventually took down i remember they had bomb shelters though

they were our school had a bomb shelter. We did duck and cover. You did duck and cover, yeah. The reason I bring this up is just, again, if you let your self-thought spiral, it's a scary existence that we're living right now. And thank God for shows like the Glass Cannon Podcast that can just take you away from the terrifying reality. So why bring it up on the podcast?

I just want to see if you guys were worried about this, too. No, it's fine. We're providing people entertainment to listen to in their safe rooms right now. I feel like one of us is going to piss off China, though. Grant has the easiest chance.

Well, here's the deal. Grant is clearly pro-China. I know that, but he might make a mistake. No, he's providing aid and comfort to dissidents his entire adult life. This is true, but we'll not talk about that in great detail right now. I will, however, talk to you about a fear that I got over that might make everyone feel a little bit better might might allow you to calm down please i'm nervous the entire time i've lived in new york city i have had a certain amount of disdain for the barbecue and tex-mex restaurants available within the tri-state region this is a reasonable

thing for someone from where i am from i had a particular harboring of distaste for an institution known as Dallas Barbecue. I never ate there. I refused to eat there. I'd walk by and see their drink specials and say, oh, that sounds good, but I wouldn't eat there. I was going to say, are you aware of the, have you seen a Dallas Barbecue and the quality of their establishment? I don't think a reasonable person from anywhere actually wants to eat at Dallas Barbecue. Well, last night, Angel found a two-for-one deal on Uber Eats,

and I have finally broken the seal on Dallas Barbecue, and I'll tell you what, not that bad. Really? I've had Dallas Barbecue many times. It's not good, but it's not bad. It's barbecue. Yeah. I go there for the 64-ounce margaritas.

At those prices, you'd be a full night's sleep They give it away And you have meat I mean yeah You just slather anything in barbecue sauce And it's fine There are some barbecue that elevate above But you're never like This is just disgusting

When you're eating barbecue Yeah How does this connect to my fears about the world i was afraid of expanding my gustatory horizons i was afraid of trying something new something that seemed foreign to me and that i had my own idea built up about in my head happened so i just think you need to stop being afraid and embrace the bomb you just need to browse for more specials and your your your fear of nuclear annihilation will just evaporate okay i think i see where this is going i also sorry go ahead matthew no i was just gonna ask

like when you when you when you build your nuclear bunker which i'm assuming you will do at some point well now i'm starting to think about it but do you think you'd, you'd bring our content with you? It's like a time capsule to steal away. Like, do you, do you want me to be like, you know what? 40 years from now,

and I've been living for 20 years, 30 feet below the ground in a concrete encased steel lined bunker. Do you want to go back and listen to some giant slam? Yeah, I don't know. I always wonder, will I ever listen to this again? No, I want other people to listen to it. and children's children but uh well you said

in episode three i believe it was that even if no one listens to this you'll listen to this oh so that was back then so now you're not committed anymore to listening to it now that everyone's listening to it no no i think things have changed he liked it before it was cool yeah i like these guys before they sold out i like me before i was cool before they tried to make a living doing this i love that i see that comment all the time so much better before they like tried to be successful i know we're such just such assholes pieces of ship um now i was just gonna say i don't see the point at all i never have in uh really letting fear of nuclear annihilation uh affect your actual day-to-day life in any way because it's one of

those things that's like there is no proper precautions you can take without a bunker and i'm just not going to do a bunker so other than that what the fuck are you gonna do you said that to me when i told you i was afraid of flying for a little bit of time you're like you got no control grant just give it up just give in and it scared me even more when i get afraid when i get afraid about nuclear annihilation like i'll close my eyes and be ready to go to sleep and i'll just think it's going to happen and then i won't be able to sleep for another 40 minutes. All I think about is moving away from New York.

You know what it is? What are you afraid of? It's not fear for me. It's sadness that that's how it could go. And all because people don't like each other. That's how it could go. And it might not be in our lifetime. You'll only be sad for a few minutes, and then you be dead no i don't think it will be because if it goes off in chicago it'll

be it'll like be months before it wipes out new york they're not gonna go for chicago before they open new york you will be on the first of the dead list do not worry unless i move maybe i'll leave and just go live in the middle of nowhere in places where no one cares about yeah that's why it's always tempting for me every time we go to oklahoma no one cares about oklahoma whenever i'm there i'm just like man if the attacks went down they're not coming here for a while yeah and these people are well armed we can hold out for a long time in the planes. Oh, God. Yeah, it's it's it's. I want to be as close to like the source of

detonation as possible. Yeah. Because I just I don't want to have that sort of lingering radioactive death that is waiting for the people who aren't lucky enough to

be in the immediate blast zone. Troy, you were you were furious. I don't want my cells to just melt. I'd rather just be I want a flash and then gone. And then gone furious. I don't want my cells to just melt. I'd rather just be incinerated. I want a flash and then gone.

And then gone. Like, you don't want to live that life where it's, like, slowly coming towards you. And you were angry when your golf clubs were delivered four doors down. That's true. Imagine if you had to, like, actually survive and keep your children alive

in some sort of apocalyptic scenario. But I think that, you know, just look at how quickly they came up with the vaccine i'm sure they could have a something that could a radiation radiation radiation yeah if they really put their minds to it i'm sure you're you don't think elon musk has one in his back pocket right now yeah yeah i'm sure we've had the cure for cancer for ages i'm just hold on i'm still just imagining troy just like dragging a wagon like by himself with his family trying to survive a post-apocalyptic wasteland complaining about his neighbors yeah oh please don't let me talk to this guy the one guy that's walking down the like rubble strewn road the first human being they've seen in three weeks. Oh, please don't tell me this guy's going to start small talk.

This guy lives in the corrugated shack next to mine. I don't want to talk to him. Their food supply is dwindling and they come upon a farm who has like communal living and they all seem happy. And they've discovered this like post-apocalyptic paradise. A spring. Yeah. Yeah, we're not stopping. Yeah.

He's like, would you go in there and talk to them? Ask them what they have. It's not even an exaggeration. And then come back back and tell me it's not even an exaggeration 17 people left on earth and i wouldn't want to talk to him i've kind of burned out on post-apocalyptic entertainment it's been quite a bit of it yeah yeah and i was you know with walking dead i was really into like fallout and i did like fallout yeah and it's basically all it is is kind of an evolved western yeah um i think that's why i like it yeah and but i just i just started to get bummed out about it it was just like the aesthetic it just uh started more

depressing i like kind of other venues for kind of a wild west kind of environment but you're like a hopeful future i prefer it yeah yeah i i've i started to move into kind of uh post-apocalyptic stories where life continues on and they're you know you it the world has changed and you have to figure out a way to live and that's I think that's where my preference lies now. Yeah. Well, now I have a baseline level of anxiety that will only be dealt with if I get in my car and drive to a town of less than 10,000 people within 500 miles of here. No, I'm sorry if I triggered that anxiety

in you or any of our beautiful listeners. But just be nice to each other. i think that's what the important thing is at the end of the day you can choose to not be you can choose to nuke your neighbor or you can just be nice try and talk it out like you would yeah like it can we can you put that as a drop on your board so that when we get to every live show, you can just play it at the top of every show? I will. Remind Troy of his own words. Yes.

We'll read that back. I really like that. Just talk it out. We'll see if you do that. Just talk it out. Doctor, heal thyself. That's why I'm hiring an administrative assistant who can do the talking for me. Can you tell Matthew I don't want to talk to him

have you seen the latest episode of succession season three no don't say anything there's a great scene like that like that you'll enjoy it when you get to it headphones just i just did the reaction i do at home yeah which makes no sense in the studio. I took my headphones off. I can still hear them clear as well. I'm sitting right next to them. Well, as we move forward into a new numerical number of a show. What would you call this? A new century? A new century mark?

A new century of episodes. is uh this is big for us this is it because now there's no road to 100 200 or 300 this is truly the road to the road to the finale i think even matthew would agree that the road to the end we've been on this road since the beginning it's true i won't argue with that but but now we're in the final lap. How do we even, I mean, I'm not going to talk too much about last week, but the one thing that we talked about off air after we finished was the combat that you had with this plant dragon creature and those shambling mounds. You mowed it down.

So to speak. Yeah, mowed it down. Oh speak yeah and uh you know there is obviously we know that's what high level play is i'm just trying to survive to the second round but what was nice about that is as bleak as all of the other stuff was this to me showed an element of hope. Horrible, really difficult creatures. I mean, the Shambling Mons or whatever, but the dragon, two attacks could have killed Metra. Horrible creatures, and you're mashing. So there is hope that you'll be able to do it. Not mashing.

We mashed. I love that contrast between the struggle and the hopelessness of those cut scenes, like back at the beginning of those cut scenes like back at the beginning of those people's careers versus like where we are now it's kind of like luke uh showing up to jabba's palace like force choking the gamorrean guards yeah i was so into that when i was getting everybody else into star wars when they were you know it's a little franchise but realize it's a very dumb thing to say, but I'm talking about that specific... I loved the beginning of Return of the Jedi so much.

Oh, yeah. Because of the best part. When he walks in and reaches the lake. Oh, my God, Joe. I'm so sick of this, man. But, yeah, the black cloak. Oh. And just, like, just walking through.

That's what the thing is. Like, I always think about is that progression from the beginning of empire when he's like struggling like trying to draw his uh lightsaber to him in the wampa cave it's just like it's all of his strength all of his of his meager training to like pull the the lightsaber into his hand and like that versus where he is at the beginning of return of the jedi i love that contrast it's so cool empire is obviously the best of the three movies i don't think anyone here would disagree but i when i was a kid jedi was my favorite oh it's my favorite too and it's because of that opening scene and then the the end scenes the the i hate the the ewok stuff and a lot of the

other stuff but that was my favorite because i love so you always hated the ewoks i always hated oh i loved the ewoks yeah and i loved i mean i loved the action when you get a little older and the action isn't quite as important as the emotional once it gets to the fight but the space fight was the coolest thing and the forest chase on endor and the speeder yeah so awesome really great yeah i love to how uh han solo managed to gain 15 pounds while encased in carbonite that's a good one yeah my theory was he was trying to eat his way out well yeah but uh i think you're not the the first person skid that has compared our show to the star wars trilogy both in quality and in reach you hear a fun fact i have no backup for but i just heard this from somebody uh that take all of uh star wars like uh the the brand the the property right and all of the money

that it makes and it is dwarfed to being a joke and almost nothing next to pokemon is that true yeah pokemon is the biggest ip on the planet and it is way bigger than star wars and harry potter for example and other stuff wow with the with the merchandise they sell on the card game and everything else like the property is that much but i was like really it's like way bigger that's crazy it is it's wild yes apparently it's true oh look at that matthew quick research i think a big part of it is that they have continued to market towards seven to like 12 year olds and they have re-upped every generation they never had like a big gap like the star wars movies is where they re-released them in the 90s or whatever and kind of remastered them and had new vhs dvd releases yeah that was a 15 year gap with no real new significant new material and even the star

wars arguably are aimed at a little bit older perhaps like maybe like a 13 to like 18 year old and above type of thing whereas pokemon is like it's for your kid when your kid asks for pokemon you're gonna buy it whereas where with star wars stuff you're like i want to get a lightsaber but like i'll do it for something special for me later you're always pumping money into the pokemon company baby star wars is fifth on the list now given whoa what are the other top four two of the properties in the top four have had a significantly longer time to acquire their money. Let's guess what the other four are. Oh, I couldn't...

You're not going to guess. Oh, you could guess one, by the way. One is... Number two is Jaws. Nope. The money movies. Harry Potter? Nope.

You got to think bigger. Got to think bigger than Brendan Fraser. Showgirls. Showgirls. The Showgirls. Nailed it. The branch. Number two is Hello Kitty. The Showgirls. The branch. Number two

is Hello Kitty. Oh, St. Maria. The Dallas Cowboys. Number three is and this is the one that had the most time. Now you're thinking big enough. Winnie the Pooh. Really? Has grossed an estimated $80 billion.

$80 billion. $80 billion? Never cared for Winnie the Pooh. Oh, he's wonderful. Are you dead inside? I just never liked it. Oh, it's so wonderful. It's because it told you what things were really like in life. And you're like, I don't want to hear this.

I didn't have Disney, so I'd like, oh, let me see it sporadically. I'm like, this is weird. You remember the Winnie the Pooh where they talk? No one's hitting each other or putting dynamite in their mouth. is weird you remember the winnie the pooh where no one's hitting each other putting dynamite do you remember the winnie the pooh where eeyore just talks about the future thermonuclear detonation of the world the entire book and then tries to get everyone to love each other no one put dynamite in anyone's mouth number four is mickey mouse and friends oh we should know mickey mouse and friends that far

below pokemon and then and then star wars wow wow crazy well then the glass cannon network yeah where's glass kind of fall on the list let's go scroll down the list come on you gotta be up there how many of those are co-owned by disney where's harry potter disney owns mickey mouse and star wars uh it does now uh so i mean disney or disney has three of the top five wow wow they're doing okay and more in the top 10 oh that's funny too so marvel like where's marvel marvel is marvel has gross the marvel cinematic universe has grossed an estimated 3535 billion. Okay. Almost at Winnie the Pooh. Where does it rank on the list? Eighth.

Well, that's pretty good, like, considering, you know, the company was in bankruptcy, like, in the, you know, 90s. The MCU has only existed since 2008. Yeah. I mean, that's certainly going to skyrocket up the charts for sure over time. There's a lot of Disney properties on here. It's almost as if they've been doing this for almost a hundred years they've just been hitting home runs for a hundred years yeah but i mean like a lot of properties that disney owns are broken out individually like

toy story is broken out as its own thing and that's toy story has earned 22 billion dollars that's a lot of money well we'll make that list after today's ad that's my segue you guys defeated this creech last week and his shambling buddies and then you walk out into the hanging gardens and my god is it beautiful huge just uh uh you know what i'm i don't think i'm really giving this enough uh enough of a reveal here for you to understand the breadth of this uh because i i had mentioned last week that it just drops off into oh my god air beyond i did the polygon reveal uh on the app but now you can see like at the end of this and you know it's a perfect semicircle let's see what the diameter is 110 feet at its widest point maybe 115 um and then across uh 235 240 feet across just this huge semicircular platform extending outward

from this level of iron cloud keep but for a giant this is the equivalent of like a window box i mean it's like it's so small and's funny, like we've given this so much. I've been thinking a lot about the sort of the Jack and the Beanstalk kind of vibes going on in a lot of this place. They're pretty obvious. But yeah, this is just a little tiny little patch of AstroTurf. It's as if like Columbus Circle in New York City is flying through the air right now. Yeah. That first section of central park you walk into around 59th street and uh it's pretty beautiful yeah isolated from being attached

to this evil castle yeah are we talking about columbus circle or yes okay four big trees all for those giant fruits uh one looks like it's fallen, possibly from the battle when they took Zephrah Hall and made it Ironcloud Keep. Two fountains near the middle of the garden, a little pathway leading all the way from these double

doors to the other side, which would lead back to the main entrance that Metra is the only one that's seen on the Ethereal plane that you were considering going back and taking a look at at some point. But yeah, this is what you see here. All of these maps have the clouds around them, but I don't show them because, I don't know, I like showing the individual rooms but this one in

particular seeing that that drop off is kind of cool i think it would be this is the kind of thing especially when i was a kid i would get super excited it's like we have to preserve this place for the end of the adventure because this would be make an awesome base if we can take it over like after this is all done this would be so cool if we clean it up. Why is the tree falling, I wonder? That's a good question. Was it knocked down just by the wind? But no, they'd have to have that planned out ahead of time in the engineering.

And those wells must be artificial or are they collecting rain? Like what's going on there? As my other, you know, because normally that would go to groundwater, but presumably there's not groundwater here. Roll a dungeoneering check. What a room.

20? Is that a question? Well, it's like, I don't think I'm going to get anything useful out of that at this high level of play. It feels like I have to roll like a 40 on anything to get anything useful now. No, a 20. What do you got there, will do you have engineering uh no but let's say i just did untrained i rolled a natural 20 okay so grant uh you can triangulate that underneath the hanging gardens is that room with those slimes that was draped in fungus, moss, vines, that stink of herbs and spores. And ribulets of water were flowing from holes in the walls and ceiling to a row of drainage gates set in the middle of the floor. So it's all part of the same system. I wonder if it's like condensing cloud vapor into liquid

water somehow yeah a hydroponic garden up here yeah i might also be cool i mean matthew asked like really early on when we got here what their waste system was i believe so it's probably tied into that too or sewage or whatever oh so these aren't wells they're toilets they come out and sit on the well. I'm going to go outside and take a giant dump. Look at that giant newspaper right next to the well. It's like the Charmin commercials where they put the toilet paper on a low-hanging branch. What do you guys want to do? Perception.

Yeah, perception. Should we sort of explore this place or should we just go back inside and go upstairs? I want to explore this place. We're going to explore. You want to do? Perception. Mm-hmm. Yeah, perception. Should we sort of explore this place, or should we just go back inside and go upstairs? I want to explore this place. We'll explore. You want to explore? You explore. 25. 35.

You don't see anything beyond what I've already told you. Nothing. No strange rustling of leaves or tremor in the ground? No. A bustle in the hedgerow or no bustle in the hedgerow bustle is there um is this an osha violation or is there railing around the edge of this it is an osha violation there's no railing baren's going to pull out the broom of flying to be in his hand because i think he's a little scared of heights. You've seen platforms like this, all of those platforms that had cloud giants

on with the ballistas, those were all right off into the air as well, but obviously you want your hanging gardens to have access to air and sunlight and so it's wide open. Whereas the greenhouse had a magical effect to provide

sunlight. It's got to be cold, sunlight. It's gotta be cold, though. It's gotta be crazy cold. The wind's whipping for sure. Can we do some exploring? I'd like to. Let's do it. I'll let you guys lead the way, and I'll just stay behind. I can do great perception checks, but I can also focus on detecting alignment as we move every 60 feet.

And I'll detect evil alignment, I guess. And for a perception check, that's a natty 19 for a 43. Okay. You don't detect any evil. I think, can we just kind of like move along there's like a path that connects both of the wells slash toilets and the fallen tree is laying across it at the western end if we could just like make our way down that path through the trees and see what if there's anything we can find okay is that what you do go ahead and move along there and

after another 60 feet I'll switch from detecting evil to detecting neutral I think I moved mattress piece on accident I just moved yours in revenge so mattress in the lead you know and Sir Will is going to continuously detect evil as he goes. And not that this would help him find it, but you know what I was just thinking?

Sir Will is trotting up behind everybody as they're looking for all these details. And he's looking in between the row of trees and stuff, but then up at the sky as well and up at the edges of this great keep. And he's thinking of Adriel at the moment. And he's just like, I wonder if he could have landed outside somewhere. And he's like hunkering down until he can find safe passage. He's just keeping an eye out. Because Adriel's obviously evil. He's going to detect evil and see if they possibly

now uh he's going to just keep detecting evil in a 60 foot arc every round baron will detect chaos in case that pulls up something different than because inquisitors can switch in between and that'll give us more of a range are you worried about adriel at this point the fact it's been that long since you saw him last like do you think he could be dead rather than landed somewhere on here or do you have supreme belief in his capabilities as a sorcerer that is correct sir will knows he can take care of himself he's just sort of like waiting for the time when he's going to show up basically and he's like looking around uh both sir will and adriel had several buff spells on them um before noxiamara was turned noxiamara had buff spells on her as well but sir Will has not spent too much time with anyone more powerful than Adriel in his life.

So he definitely gives him a certain breadth of confidence. Metra overheard that. Yes, I did. Well, he spent more time with Adriel than Metra. Why are you talking a laugh? That was the rude thing. I wanted her to hear that. Was that out loud?

Sorry, Metra? I banished Sir Will to an extra dimension just for 10 minutes you're almost as powerful as adrian no save uh all right so keep driving along yeah we get up to this first sewer um toilet slash well okay take a look in and uh yeah it's just a big old fountain um some flower beds around it it's just it's not uh it's just it's shooting a little water out that's nice oh i want to make a wish um should we when we know what this goes down to so there's no Oh, want to make a wish? Should we... We know what this goes down to, so there's no...

Yeah. Detect magic down the well? You don't detect any magic in the well. That's 60 feet down? Yeah. Yeah, no magic. Nestor will take a copper piece out, flick it up with his thumb, that lands a thunk into the pool. Do you make a wish?

He does. Do you want a wish? He does. Do you want to tell me otherwise? No, because then it won't come true, mate. Not dealing with a rookie here. Gah. Alright, so we keep popping across there. Anyone changing tactics or

you're detecting neutral now, Baron? Chaos, actually. i cannot detect neutrality it's either law chaos evil or good uh yeah detecting evil evil on the pool evil on the tree beyond the pool as we're walking down this path all right so it's baron and nester up in front of the fountain and then metro you stand back there with sir Will. No, I'll go up with them. Yeah, really, I kind of want to stay on Metro's hip. Nestor does. Okay. And Sir Will, you're staying back there behind the pound.

Just about ten feet behind. Trotting up. Baron's going to do a perception trick on the trees, looking up into them as we begin to walk through the path in between two of them. Twenty-seven. Okay. in between two of them. 27? Okay. You see these trees, and they're thick.

They don't take up, obviously, the amount of space at the trunk as the leaves are taking up here, so you could move through these spaces. You just can't move through the middle. That's where the trunk is, which you look. Big, big trees. Why are three of them up and only one of them down? Like, what could have just knocked that one down?

Was it part of Volstice's assault or something else? Azure's thinking through this. Three of you start to detect something. Metra, you start to detect some faint, very, very faint transmutation magic coming from the area of the fallen tree. And then simultaneously, Baron and Sir Will. Baron, you detect chaos.

And Sir Will, you detect evil. Oh, no, man. And at that moment, the tree rises. Oh, no. Roll for rises. Oh, no. Roll for initiative. Oh, my God. My one question is, why do these things always know they're detected when they get detected? Every time we have a successful detect, it's roll for initiative.

You're aware radar detectors are illegal in New York State, right, Troy? Yeah, this thing's like, whoop, whoop. I'm being detected. I'm being detected. All righty then. Oh, sir, Willamette Kerswick in the lead of initiative. Let's look at what this dude looks like here. It looks like a wriggling leafless tree moving on like spidery legs.

The tree demon. And there are motes of blood red lightning dancing through the cracks in its bark. Oh, awesome. Metro, what'd you get? 15. 15 for Metro. Not bad. Baron?

32. Woo! Holy shit. Sir Will. 21. Ooh! 21.hoo! Holy shit! Sir Will. 21. Ooh! 21. Yes, a little bit!

29 for Nestor. 20. 29. 29 for Nestor. I rolled a natural 20 on initiative. Of course. And Baron still goes for it. I rolled a 17, so I wasn't far behind you.

Wow! Wow. Holy cow. All right, Baron, you are up. You see this creature rise up on its spindly spider legs, this red lightning moving about within its trunk. What do you do? This is a colossal-sized creature, by the way. I've never seen anything like this, so I think Baron's mind takes in this scene and attempts to make sense of it is there an identify role a knowledge check that he can do to help make sense of this nature

okay i have nature come on get it dude this is gonna be a big one 18 on the die for a 23 there you go come on 23 is not enough that. That's what I was bracing for earlier when you were like, are you sure you have that? Because at this level, you can roll really well and still not have it unless it's a trained skill.

Yeah, you think you're dealing with CR 16, 17, 18 plus creatures at this point. Your base is going to be 28, 27. Okay. In that case, gosh. That changes everything. No one's hurt.

See how far away you are here. Remember, it is colossal, so there are some empty spaces. You're about 55 feet away. Yep. I'm going to cast Longshot on myself. Okay. And an attempt to stay back a bit. And I'm going to keep my judgment from being cast this round. And then I'm going to actually move back a little bit towards the well.

Okay. So long shot, hold on to your judgment. You see this thing and Baron is like, Oh, I don't like it you back up until you run into the well nester you also beat it on initiative thank god thank god all right so nester not quite sure what he's dealing with either is going to use uh his plus three

flaming arrows on this attack. Oh, that is very smart. Well, it does have almost fiery lightning inside of it. I wonder if this is a weird tree. We'll see. We'll see. All right. I wonder if this is a weird tree.

Well, you know what I meant. Not even wood. It might be. Not even made of wood. It might be weird. First attack is a natural one. Oh, no. Was that many shot?

Yep. Oh. Would you stop? To confirm, that is a 34. 34 to... Oh, wait. No, 44. 40.

Wait. Sorry. That's a big difference. That is just a regular old miss. Okay. Oh, God. Damn's a big difference. That is just a regular old miss. Okay. Oh, good! Damn it! Second attack.

That is a 40 to hit. 40 is a hit. Okay. 46 points. Oh, wait, 46 points. Yeah, break it up for me. Okay, 46 points. Three points is electricity okay and then an additional six points of fire so 52 points total all right so 43 uh

43 was 46 46 regular three points of which is electricity okay yeah so 43 regular. 46 regular. Three points of which is electricity. Okay. Yeah, so 43 regular. And then six points of fire on top of that. 52 total. Okay. You can see it did not take all of that damage. You don't know.

You know there's some sort of DR situation going on because you can see it rapidly healing over where it was hit. It looks like the fire kind of fizzled out on it as, as did the electricity, but you don't know if there's immunities or some sort of resistance there that you might be able to bypass, but this thing looks pretty dangerous and pretty well built. Okay. Next attack. Okay.

So I will switch off to the, my regular arrows. I think the fire is not any good. Natty 18. There we go. The second attack. And that is 43

points of damage, 5 of which is electricity. Fantastic. Okay. Okay. Third attack. Fucking natural one. Again. Oh my god. No. This is the one that could fumb 32 to hit on the confirmed

Has confirmed fumb Oh my god Oh dude 32 You wanna look at that again Troy Yeah Oh dear this thing is gonna be Tough to hit

Shit Okay Oh god whatever this is Oh, dear. This thing is going to be tough to hit. Shit. Okay. Oh, God. Whatever this is, it's going to be so mad at you. I'm so sorry, Yamil. I'm so sorry, Yamil from Huntsville, Texas. Oh!

Be nice. Oh, shit. This one's called Wait, I Needed That. You attempt at range weaponryry failed to hit your target. It was absorbed by planar tricksters that will return the attack toward you or another ally during combat after 1d4 hours have passed. 1d4 hours have passed? What? It will return at the next fumble, oh, basically, if you or another ally fumbles any time in the next 1d4 hours, your attack hits whoever fumbles.

Oh, okay. I don't understand. Wait, if this attack right now would hit whoever fumbles? So my arrow vanishes. It vanishes into an extra planar space. And it may return. It may return over the course of the next four hours. I like it

so basically if anybody else fumbles in this combat not only do they get their fumble they also get hit with a nester arrow by nester's arrow

alright be careful everybody jeez I might not even attack oh man I'm just kidding I know Joe you might want to

sit this one out I know for real sit the next four hours of combat out you know I'll tell you if it's just a giggle so you can kind of decide do we rest after this fight three hours three hours not rest but like just sit here I know, for real. So the next four hours of combat. You know, I'll tell you if it's just a giggle so you can kind of decide.

Do we rest after this fight? Three hours. Three hours. Not rest, but like just sit here three hours. Well, thankfully, like with our structure, the way we do this, we're never going to remember in the next episode. That's true. That's true. I wrote it down. Okay.

All right. So fourth attack. Well, I'm not very confident that I'll hit with any of these now. Miss. Final attack. Another fucking natural one. Oh my god! My third one is fucking...

Motherfucker, the one I'm most likely to confirm. Oh my god, so he's gonna get a... A natural one on the fucking confirm! Jesus Christ! Four natural ones! So here's the worst part, is the arrow comes back at you! Oh my god! And another full one Oh, my God. And another fall.

Oh, my God. I can't tell you how bad this is. Three out of five ones, the fates have spoken. Oh, God. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Fucking thanks a lot, Norse Foundry. This is how characters die.

Jesus. All right, this one from Chris in Logan, Utah. Hi, Chris, and I'm sorry. Oh, and this title, oddly specific. Born under a bad sign. Oh. Your shot goes awry as you are distracted by Potent's Vial. The possibility of that other arrow coming back.

The heavenly bodies are out of alignment again, and so is your back or some other part if you don't have a spine. Take minus two to attack rolls for 1d6 rounds or spend a full round action to put things back into place and end the penalty. If it wasn't for bad luck, you wouldn't have no

luck at all. So it's minus two to attack for 1d6 rounds or you can spend a full round action to get rid of that penalty. Oh, okay. Got a crick in your back. Yeah, threw my back out. That's a reasonable fumble. Do you know, compared to some of the others where it's chop your head off and, you know, you decapitate yourself.

You know that's in there, too. It's only a matter of time before that happens. It's like a fucking three-bedroom house falls on you in the middle of combat. Speaking of which, how much damage does your arrow do to you uh i'll go with the damage that i rolled um i would not get the sneak attack because i'm not flat-footed but it will be are you your favorite enemy uh i am not oh and i'm not actually i'm not my own studied target either you haven't been studying yourself uh not recently yeah so that's not too bad so that. So that's still 20 points of damage.

Unbelievable. So now that's gone, right? That's gone. That's gone, yeah. It was just that one arrow left and then came back in a weird pocket dimension. I can remove that node I didn't take. And that's the end of your turn? Yep.

It is the creature's turn. I'm taking five foot step back for good measure. Five foot step back for good measure Five foot step back For good measure Okay Here's what's gonna happen First of all Quickened Lightning bolt

In a line at Nestor And Baron You both get a reflex save. 34. Question. Yes. Does it have line of sight on Baron? Does it need line of sight on Baron?

Yeah, it does. Don't forget, it's a colossal creature. So it has eyes in its butt and its head? I'm just asking because there was a tree trunk in the middle. But if it got it, it got it. So that tree trunk that's laying there, this thing is the tree trunk. Right. But you were saying there was a tree in the center of...

Oh, I see what you're saying. I'm trying to see if I was covered by it. If not, it's fine. Yeah, yeah. I was going to ask that on my turn. Be very specific about that tree. Can we move through it? Do we have to go around it?

I will draw a circle where you cannot move through. Perfect. Everything else is fair game. And it's just plain, clear ground. It's just the trees overhead. I'm usually familiar with how trees work, but...

Would you roll on the reflex there? I rolled a 30. Okay. I'm usually familiar with how trees work, but... Give me the old tree... What'd you roll on the reflex there? I rolled a 34. You're good. I rolled a 35. All right, so that is going to be a pass. So you'll take... Do you both have evasion or just you?

Just... Only me. Just Nestor. All right, so you, Baron, will take 18 points of damage. Lightning damage. My teeth are chattering. That was a quickened lightning bolt, and now it's going to do chain lightning on all of you. Oh, no.

So I need you all to again roll a reflex save. All right, here comes the failure for me. Yep, I sure did. Oh, no. me. Yep. I sure did. Oh, no. 26. 26. What about Baron? 22.

What about... Wait, is it a spell or spell-like ability? It is a spell. 24. 24. Sir Will? 33. And Metra?

I am trying to decide if I want to use my swirling smoke tattoo here. Tough call. In the meantime, I will tell you that Owen Lexington also exactly 33. Thank you. Forgot about Lexington. You know what? I won't yet. 25. 25. And what did you say was Lexington?

33. 33. Okay. So you actually all pass. Which is good because it's 20d6 worth of damage. Oh, that would have been very, very bad. So everyone that passed take 40 points of damage. 80 points of damage? 81, I rolled. Oh, wow.

So everyone that passed take 40 points, with the exception of Nestor, who has evasion. And that is what the creature does. It was a Quicken spell and then a spell so now I'm going to move. This is a serious situation. It's really just kind of frustrating that we're fighting a caster who's not going to have a headband

of alluring charisma. Right, exactly. What if it has a yellow ribbon tied around its base? That might be something. Oh, for God's sakes. Oh, come on, LaVallee. It moves up about 10 feet away from you with its pretty awesome movement.

So it just, like a fucking spider-legged tree, just moves up, and you have to imaginey legged tree, just moves up. And you have to imagine a creature of this size has crazy reach. It is Sir Will's turn. So many of it! Oh, baby. I like that Sir Will has absorbed Dogry's tendency to just yell out his own name. I really liked it.

I really... I just liked the... I got very excited. Joe's turning into a Street Fighter 2 character. It says there are special moves all the time. So you can... Right. All right.

I need a... Okay, I didn't know that it was going to walk right up to us. Okay. So first thing... Sorry, I should have told you. So first thing Sir Will's going to do is smite evil uh so yeah he's gonna look across at this creature and be like foul beast from the abyss i only day will send you back where you belong and he smites evil on the creature uh he obviously lexington gets fucking fired up. Starts scratching at the ground, ready to charge.

20 points of damage to Lex. Did you just move? I just rotated the creature. Oh. Oh, I see now. Oh. Make more sense. I thought it was even scarier to me because it was like,

you remember the, what's the Tom Cruise, the Edge of Tomorrow? Like the way those things move. They like roll across the ground and it's such a freakish speed. With it sideways, I thought that it like rolled and had all these crazy firelings coming out. Good movie, by the way. Underrated movie. Very good movie. It had a new name when it was released.

Right. Live, Die, Repeat. All right. Live, die, repeat. All right. And he slams down the front of his visor, raises the lance up into the air, and is just like, I will not fear you. I will destroy you for Holubory! For Holubory! And he charges at the creature and does a ride-by attack. Okay. So, yeah, I'm just going to blow by blow by it basically and go all the way to the wall

and your ability doesn't provoke right we've done this in the past yeah he does not provoke from the attack the target of the attack this made me think of return of the king when uh marion aowen are riding between the legs of the oliphants uh yes yes yeah uh, it could be exactly that. Like, even just between the trunk legs of this thing, he comes charging through. And I am stalling because I have so many things to check on Hero Lab. Okay, here we go. Oh, and you know what?

I'm going to use a special die here. I haven't been able to use this in a while because Sir Will hasn't had too many good attack rolls lately, but this one is from Alden in Atlanta, who gave me his quote, paladin die. This is his orange D20 that

he took a paladin from first to 30th level. Wow. And Pathfinder? He's probably lying. He's cheating. He was probably drinking a lot that night No, from 1 to 30 In one night? He was drinking a lot that night

He brought his passion From 1 to 30 at level In one night He didn't actually play He just sat there At a level Alright At a level

Alright Alden, this is a very important roll Please do not fail me. Here we go. The Orange Paladin die. 47 to hit. Oh, that sounds like a hit to me. He leans the slats across. Amazing, yeah.

What the hell did you roll to hit? 19? 18? Natural 16. Wow. All right. He's swimming. And he does.

Oh, I see a GCP on that D6. There we go. That is 74 points of damage. Oh! There we go! And this white light shatters out from his lance. What... That's slashing damage, right?

Or piercing? Piercing. Piercing. Piercing. And then what is your weapon made out of? Is it cold iron? Is it silver? It's just made out of steel uh but i also

believe that smite evil bypasses all dr but i'll double check regardless of the target smite evil attacks automatically bypass any dr the creature might possess boom wow so just it's because it's the god Iomite hitting this guy. It's not Sir Will. Right. It's Iomite. Yeah. 74 points of damage.

And here's the thing. As you strike it, you feel an electric arc of that red lightning come out of its body onto you. He's been rubbing a carpet. And you take ten points of electricity damage. I imagine he makes contact with it, hits it, and it feels that very strange feeling, like when you catch

an electrical socket the wrong way, and you're like, ah! What was that? I flew across the room once when I was a kid. I remember like, ah! That explains it. Oh, God. It's so nerve wracking Having children Like Arch is fine with it

He doesn't go near anymore But now Dash The other day I was just like I looked at my phone For one second I looked up And he was just

Pulling a plug out of the box I was like Oh god Yeah And because And even the tiniest The little 18 months Whatever

They don't just like Jam their finger Into a socket They have this Unbelievable instinct To first lick their fingers And then do the most dangerous version of anything they can do. Seemingly by accident. It's wild. That's one of my favorite Simpsons bits is when they're trying to think about childproofing their home and it's too expensive.

So Homer's going to do it himself. It's like, oh, okay, so we'll scare Maggie away from these electrical sockets. She does little bunny faces on the electrical sockets. And Marge is like, but she's not afraid of bunnies. And Homer's like, she will be. That's one of my favorite Simpsons jokes ever. Big round from Sir Will. Obviously a tough round from Nestor.

Sir Will is able to land a huge blow against this thing, perhaps turning the tides of battle. Metro to round out the round. Well, I get to go. You sure do, good buddy. Save us, Metro! All right. I think we need to change the landscape a little bit here.

Oh, I like changing the landscape. You need a landscaper landscape a little bit here. Oh, I like changing landscape. We need a landscaper. A little bit of landscaping. What are your rates? I can't cluster because I don't want to get off any more lightning bolts or chain lightning. You're going to cast aerate mass? No, actually what I was going to do before i realized you could cast from range is that i was gonna do reverse gravity on it because there's no ceiling up here

into space no because you only get a number of 10 foot cubes equal to your level and this thing is so giant that it would hover i only have enough cubes for it to hover about 10 feet off okay so it could just it could just stand up and then be on the ground you know the funniest thing is even though we've been playing this for a long time we're still learning a lot about long term campaigns long term jamming, long term playing

I know what they're going to do it's going to be some kind of damage I can never accurately prepare for you except for like there was a time when like I know the hungry pit's coming but at this level I don't even know for you, except for like there was a time when like, oh, I know the hungry pit's coming. But at this level, I just I don't even know what you have in your arsenal. Well, I'm going to do I'm going to do an old an old standard here. OK, I'm going to I'm going to split the party.

Oh, so Baron, I'm going to leave you here just so you and Sir Will can flank it. And Nestor and I are going to a dimension door to the far western corner. Oh, there we go. Awesome. You've left Baron alone. And Sir Will alone as Metra and Nestor

fly all the way to the other side of the room. I have to roll the cast defensively. I think I automatically get it, but is it just it's not based on my stats.

It's just based on your is just based on me. Okay. Yeah. I have a plus 26 for DC 23. I rolled a natural 13. Nice.

That's one of the things I do love about Hero Lab, because obviously we have a love-hate relationship with it, is when you just look at the spell, it tells you exactly what bonus you need to hit the DC. Yeah, and it's mostly love. It's mostly love. No, it's 95% love. Right, exactly.

You're forgetting how many things you don't even think about that it's doing for you. Our problems with Hero Lab is because we don't know the game well enough to know when Hero Lab may be off or we're misinterpreting something. Right. We wouldn't be able to do this podcast. User error. Right. And then Metro will use the Quicken Metamagic Rod to make Nestor invisible.

Yes. Nestor invisible. Okay. I would have taken you with me. I don't want you to feel bad. I would have taken you with me, except you need to be a relatively close range to hit this thing. And I figured if we give it three different targets it has to hit,

it can't hit us all with a chain lightning or a lightning bolt. All right. Maybe take me with you next time. Well, it is top of round next time Well it is Top of round two And it is Baron's turn Baron and Sir Will are About 15 feet respectively

Away from this Colossal and obviously very dangerous Tree creature Baron is technically 20 feet away Where Sir Will is 15 Not a creature you want to be right next to either way. What do you want to do, Baron? Baron left on his lonesome in between the creature and a well,

a part of a weird sewage system that we were just discussing. It's going to five foot step backwards. Swift action called down a judgment from Torag to increase his AC and to provide some much needed damage to these attacks unless there's another knowledge i can roll to identify the creature only nature only one yeah okay uh baron is also going to start using up his grit as he does a full round attack with up close and deadly on at least the first three attacks i'll tell you when it's turned off. The first attack goes off to hit for a 22. You are still within reach of its AOL.

Okay. So it will take a slam on you. Kaboom! 25 feet of reach. Bad roll. Very bad roll. 27 to hit. Miss.

Cujula bear jumps out of the way of a massive limb coming down. Boom. Flies up into the ash. Soil raining down. 22 against touch is a hit. All right. That will do. Oh, nice.

30 points of damage. Okay. And that is piercing and bludgeoning, right? Piercing and bludgeoning magic for the purposes of DR. And I have clustered shots, so if it does have DR, the DR will only count on this shot. Okay. And you said 30 points of damage? Correct.

All right. So similar to Nestor, and all of that doesn't get through, but certainly some of it does. Second attack comes through. That's a of it does. Second attack comes through. That's a hit. Nice. A 33. That will be for 27 points of damage on the second attack. Okay.

And that all goes through. Third attack up close and deadly still is going to be a 27 to hit. Four. Oh, that's big damage. 36 points of damage on the third attack. Okay. We'll get up close and deadly one last time. That is a hit for 26.

Nice. Blam, blam, blam, blam. Blat, blat, blat. Blat. 27 points of damage on the fourth attack. Okay. The final attack at his lowest base attack bonus, with no up close and deadly, will be for 24 to hit. 24 against touch.

Hit. That will be for 22 points of damage. Enormous round. That's huge. That's huge. That's huge. I really wish I'd used my first round to attack it, but I thought I could maybe position it better and have it not attack me right away. But it getting up in my grill

and being able to get that attack of opportunity off on it made my first round really a wasted action with that long shot. But we'll see what happens now. All right. Nestor's turn nester is still dealing with his back kink or whatever so he's going to endure it take the minus two to offset it he is going to use his flaming arrows again just for the bonus to hit even knowing that the fire won't do anything to it. So, he is invisible.

His first attack, invisible with Old Jolter. That is a natty 18 on the many shots. Oh, baby. That is 64 points of damage. And seven of that is electricity. Okay. He becomes visible. Hey!

Hey! Hey! Uh, second attack is a miss. Oh, no! Uh, fucking Norse Foundry. Fucking me at the worst possible time. Oh, spoke too soon. Third shot, natural 20.

No! No! No! No! Natural 20 on the confirm. Oh, my God! One more and you instantly kill it. One more on the confirm. Oh my god. One more and you instantly kill it. One more. Five. That's the same. Well, there's finally a final way to screw you still.

It's immune to crits. What? I'll give you exploding, sure. Okay, I'll give you exploding. In its current state, it is immune to crits. Okay. All right. You mean low on hit points and you're frustrated?

Is that its current state? Right now, I've decided it's immune to crits. Oh. Okay. So that is, I did get exploding dice on the eight-sided die. Okay. So that's seven more. dice on the eight-sided die.

Okay, so that's seven more. So that is 56 points of damage, all of which goes through because of my clustered shots. Right, 56. Okay. Alright, that was my third attack. Fourth attack, miss. Fifth attack, miss. Dude, still phenomenal

round. Pretty, pretty... This thing is tough to hit. Yeah, it is. Question, how much of that 56 was electricity? Oh, um... Give or take. Pretty, pretty. This thing is tough to hit. Yeah, it is. Question, how much of that 56 was electricity? Oh, um. Give or take. Four. Okay. Lights it up.

Big, big turn there. It is now. It is now its turn. Wait, so are these, this thing has to be related to those little creatures that came at us because they reacted well to electricity. So maybe they were like moss or lichen that lived on this tree before it turned into whatever the hell it is.

Interesting. Some sort of symbiotic or transformative relationship. Or maybe they worship this thing and it is their god. Yeah. Maybe it's its shambling friends. Me and my shambling friends. This is the theme of the shambling show. The theme, the shambling show.

All right. I am going to start. I'm going to do my quick enlightening bowl because I get it for free. And it's either going to go at Sir Will or Baron. Oh, you got to go for the Baron. I'll throw Nestor in there. You're the three that have done damage to me. One, two, Nestor. Three, four,

Sir Will. Five, six, Baron. Don't hurt me. GCP on the die. That is a six for Baron. The worst part of that, well, I'll tell you why in a second, Baron, but give me a reflex save. Will do.

Cracked eye. 24. 24. 24 is a pass. You'll still take half of 10d6 damage, which will be 19 points of damage. Oh, it went... His lightning bolt went down. Interesting.

This is the difference. This isn't chain lightning. Give it back 17 hit points, because I had sneak attack on still, and I was visible at that point. Son of a bitch. Sorry. Okay, it takes that back. Added to the fast healing. It's doing all right.

Fast healing? Oh! What? What? It's not fair. The reason it's bad that it landed on you, Baron, is that I decided that you were going to be the one that takes its attacks. Because you did the most damage to it. So, let's start with slam number one. I rolled terribly on the AOO.

Not a great roll, but a very high to hit. 34. Miss. It's not a giant. I know it's not a giant. I put on a Judgment of Sacred Protection for a reason because I was out here on my own. Judgment of Sacred Protection. Of course he uses the Judgment of Sacred Protection because he can't trust Metra.

Just leave him in the latch of his jet she gets. Well, that's good teamwork if this works out. Second attack. Synergy. 36. 36 is exactly ahead. But before you go any further, I didn't get a chance before you went from Nester

to yourself to enact what I wanted to do. Oh! It's a teamwork feat called Target of Opportunity. Oh, yeah. Which will give you an additional attack of opportunity, but I'd like to take the damage. So, when would you have enacted this? Before I went?

Yep. But that would provoke from me. Correct. Okay. It hadn't come back around to your turn yet, which would have provoked in the first place. Do you know what I mean? Like it hasn't been a full round since the provoke.

We always talk about this. Does the provoke take a round? Does it have a provoke? Or does it re-tick at the beginning of the round? Because it provoked when I attacked the first time. It provoked when you attacked. So it doesn't have one. So I should just...

Oh, but you ate. Yes. He went again. You went again, yeah. All right, so I will take the AOL. Okay. And then that's going to hit as well, but unless you kill it. And on the AOL, 37.

So that's going to be two hits. Two hits. You are going to take... I've already taken the damage for one of them. You are going to take... 27 points of damage. 27 points of damage. But DR is in effect, right?

Yep. For fuck's sake. It's still up, buddy. Okay. And you're going to take... a shit ton of damage. Troy, you look frightened. This is actually...

This is actually real bad. Pretty bad. I'm going to hand roll it. We're talking about two hits that are coming through now in damage numbers. 44 points of regular. Oof. And... 44 points of regular and 12 points of electricity on the first hit

see I was gonna put on a judgment of resistance against electricity but I wasn't sure if it was gonna use magic anymore now that I know that's attacks it comes through all of its attacks that's brutal and then 38 points of regular It comes through all of its attacks. That's brutal.

And then 38 points of regular. And, oh, 19 points of electricity. God damn. That's a chunk. So, man, if I had hit on that first slam, that would have been three times worth of damage. But it just gets two slams around? It just gets two slams around. All right, you're dead.

You're not going to come back around again. And the quickened lightning bolt. Baron is unconscious. What? Whoa. How far down? It's not dead. Not dead.

Not dead yet? Holy shit. We met you in Joe's face. Okay. It is Sir Will's turn. Holy shit Okay It is Sir Will's turn Oh no I mean You've gotta be Holy shit

Holy shit Holy shit Well there's no way to know what his HP is right now. The creature? No, Baron. Oh, yeah. Well, to know anything else about this creature. There's a way to know exactly what the creature's HP is, actually.

That's true, technically. I'm just talking about Baron's HP. Well, there's no way to know what Baron's HP is right now. If only he were conscious and able to tell us. Oh, no. If I had to put a number on it. All right. I'm going to run the risk here.

This is risky, but I'm sorry, Baron. So Will's going to turn around. He finishes his charge. Turns, but he's facing the wall wall so he's got to turn back around to face the creature again turns back around to face the creature and sees what looks like in that moment baron hit the ground and he's just like shut up no and uh he is going to charge over there but he is going to uh he he thinks this creature might be really dangerous, so he wants to still try to hurt it on the way. So, Sir Will charges with all haste past the creature.

And across... Just gonna double-check the DS, because these spaces are so huge. Yep, I'm fine right there. That is a straight line. And he moves out of the creature's reach, I believe, as part of that. And I'll get one shot here. I'll go back to Alden again. Tilts the lance.

For Holmary! For Holmary! For Holmary! Tries to strike Alden. That's a natural 15 this time. Nice. So it hits again. This will bypass all DR. That is 69 points of damage.

Nice. Oh no. Oh, is it going to explode or something? Yeah, it's going to explode. Oh no. Yes, it has death throws.es but hold on hold on I've been thinking about this since Joe started talking I wasn't even listening

because I knew if you hit it you were gonna kill it and it has death throes which would kill Baron the thing is we fucked up we've lost track of rounds how many times have you gone once see I shouldn't have been able to take that second AOO The thing is, we fucked up We've lost track of rounds How many times have you gone, Mentor? Once See, I shouldn't have been able to take that second AOL That I just took

Because I took it on Baron's initial hit And then Nestor went Oh, that was on my round And I triggered my teamwork feat during his turn After it had taken it Let me just make sure I don't have combat reflexes Because if I do, you are permanently dead. However, you may still be permanently dead.

How bad are the death threats? Very, very, very bad. Okay. Character-killingly bad. Very, very, very bad. I don't have combat reflexes. All right, so... A couple things are going to happen.

That first attack was uh 44 regular that's what it's um i hear a lab one of the great things it does is to track it's 44 for the first and how much electricity was it if that's because that's a tiny at 12 12 all right so give yourself back 44 and 12 oh wow. Okay. So now he's fine. Well. Well. What? Not necessarily. You know, when you get down to character death, you know, you want to make sure that you're not fucking up any

major numbers, and this would have been a grand fuck-up. Obviously, hopefully, we would have caught it over the next week. But this is, uh, you've killed the creature. Yeah! Can we please focus on the positive for a second here? But the death throes may kill Baron,

because when it dies, its remains explode with a blast of lightning into razor-sharp splinters of wood. All creatures within 30 feet take 12d6 points of electricity damage and 12d6 points of electricity damage and 12d6 points of piercing. Oh my god!

So 24d6 worth of damage. Had you taken that, was it 44 and 12? Uh-huh. I wouldn't even roll the damage. Permadeath. You don't even need to look at it. But this may still be enough to kill you.

Oh my god. I need you to roll a reflex save. Okay. Do you want to make it ceremonial? You want to do in the middle of the room? You want to stand up? Sing something? Do anything special? You're fine. You're fine. I'm ready to roll.

He's talking up a big game. Mike, you like a Sour Patch Kid? I don't want a Sour Patch Kid. I don't normally eat Sour Patch Kids when I roll. Here it comes. Hold on. I want to say something before he reads it off. Okay, but that's the roll. The roll happens.

Regardless of the roll, I am casting a spell. Regardless of the roll, when the episode is over, I'm going to eat a Sour Patch Kid. Noted. You're going to cast a spell? Mm-hmm. Is it going to affect at all what we're doing? Mm-hmm. Okay. Could you have done that

without knowing all the information I just gave you out of the kindness of my heart? Yeah, definitely. We will discuss this later. What did you roll? 32. 32. It's DC

31. Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh thank god. Oh my god. I just saw my life flash before. Oh my god. Literally. Now do you want a sour patch?

Oh man. So instead of 90 points of damage, you take 45. No you do not. Because in that moment, charging past, skewering the creature sir will turns to see this this vibrating thing that's like gonna explode and he just sees 15 feet between him and the creature is baron and he's just like chef no and reaches out and just closes his eyes and as the shards start flying toward Baron he draws them all into himself. Whoa. And just and just gets knocked

off of Lexington taking 45 points of damage. And we'll see you next week. Oh my god. Oh my god. Whoa. I picked the wrong day to stop huffing glue. Holy Oh, my God. Whoa. I picked the wrong day to stop huffing glue. Holy shit.

I thought that was it. I was actually worried if he failed. If he failed, I'd be like, I don't want to take that much damage. I don't want to take 90. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass cannon network production and is an officially licensed partner of paizo incorporated giant slayer is copyright 2015 giant slayer and the pathfinder adventure path are trademarks of paizo all pathfinder images are property of paizo and are used with commission Outro Music