The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 306 - The Fountaindead

Episode Date: December 7, 2021

Watery vortexes engulf the heroes as a creature made of liquid metal threatens to end the entire mission. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See yourself buying a home one day? Do future you a favor. Open a Questrade First Home Savings Account and help that future come faster. The FHSA is a tax-free account where all your investment gains are yours to keep and put towards your first home. With Questrade, you can open an FHSA online. No bank appointment needed. It's easy and only takes a few minutes. The sooner you get started, the more time your down payment has to grow. Open an account today at questrade.com. Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. A bisque-egas. A bit like a bisque-egas? A singular bisque-egas?

A bisque-egas. Lobster bisque? A lobster bisque-egas. Man, that sounds good. Can we get that for lunch? The heroes emerged from the darkness. As you stand there and look around, two things happen. To press forward without rest.

This long strand of liquid silver comes out of the water, elongates out, and as it elongates out, it starts to grow. It's gathering more of this silver liquid and grow and grow until it takes shape into a huge creature that looks to be made of this liquid silvery substance. But they were quickly swept up. The silver creature, without moving from its place, gracefully extends its body across the room to attack roll for initiative oh no in a vortex of doom the water elemental starts swirling on the ground below swirling until it takes the shape of a vortex. Oh, no. Oh, shh. And the vortex moves onto Nestor's space. Oh!

Oh, no, no, no, no. And the other one does the same thing to Sir Will. The adventure continues now. Merry Christmas, baby! You surely treat me nice And I feel like I'm living In paradise with you, Matthew I'm not rising to that bait. It's Bruce, it's your guy.

I know, you really were really laying it on thick there. Just because we're recording in November. This is a December episode by the rules. All right. You have to celebrate. Merry Christmas, then. By what rules?

Time travel? Yep. Santa came down the chimney. Take it, Matthew. Have a good day. Take it, Matthew. i have considered converting to another religion just so i could just totally poo-poo all of your christmas songs because i am sick of your cheer don't mean it i do you know the sad thing is here we go i don't actually think it's cheer what What is it? I think it's all nostalgia.

Yeah. Nostalgia. Well, there's a little bit of nostalgia and all cheer. But there's a lot of bit of nostalgia in you. Yeah. There is. Is that bad? You make it sound like nostalgia is a negative thing. In excess.

I disagree. What are we if we don't have memory? That's the basis of this company, Matthew. It's based on this nostalgia the word nostalgia broken down to its greek roots is my pain is it really yeah nost nostalgia i always heard it described as happy sad uh yeah but that like the actual like root word is my pain oh but i have joy i think we've got a real breakthrough today here skid wait you're out of this is the pain because you can't go back is that when the stuff that is what implies and uh

yeah it's just like it's the tragedy of yeah not being able to touch this thing it's that just gets more and more distant but i derive joy from it the memory of it i guess it's it's the tricky we're all misusing the word i haven't read the merriam-webster definition quite a while and it is the number two definition is pitch perfect for troy here we go a wistful forget about that part or excessively sentimental yearning for return of or to some past period of irrecoverable condition yeah i'm I'm irrecoverable. What you're trying to do is recreate the Christmas you once loved. It doesn't exist anymore. You have too many responsibilities now.

But like, here's the thing. I think you're misinterpreting this. I'm sure there's a part of me. It's like, man, I wish I could go back, but that's not the driving force of my joy and my nostalgia.

It's, it's, it brings me warmth knowing that i had those memories and it brings me more thinking about them because now i'm experiencing new ones presently that are infused by the joy of the past that's why i while i see that that's part of it that's that's not where it's coming from for me uh and now that i have children like i get to experience christmas through their eyes it all mingles together into one big joy fest. My experience of your, what you're calling joy, usually I have experienced it as resentment poured upon the others around you who are not experiencing the same feelings at the same time.

No, I don't resent it. I'm just going to shove it down your throat until you feel happy. No, I think that's what he means. It creates resentment. Oh, creating resentment. And others. Well, I can that's what he means. It creates resentment. Oh, creating resentment. And others. Well, I can't control what you guys do. You could.

You could. You could. You do have a... Well, that's a nice little present for my Matthew and me. That's like you stabbing me in the stomach and being like, I can't control if you bleed. I can't. If you're bleeding, like, that's your body.

I can't control that. I was trying to carve a smiley face in your chest. I'm as nostalgic as they get. I'm a very sentimental person, but it's, it's a lot. I enjoy, I enjoy,

I enjoy nostalgia from time to time. And I like Christmas as well, but it's that love of Christmas is being slowly winnowed away. I love Christmas. Me too. And you are ruining it for me. It's over the top. Oh, there's no such thing. It's over the top. It's, yeah, I love Christmas Me too And you are ruining it for me Ow And me too It's over the top

Oh there's no such thing It's over the top It's yeah It's the aggressive Aggressive celebration For me I think it's like The thing that makes Christmas

Christmas Is because It's a limited thing And it's a special thing And the more That's what people complain about It's like Ah it's like

It's October You see Christmas decorations already Is because The more that you extend it, the less kind of effect that it has. Like butter spread over too much butter spread over too much bread. Exactly. It's like when you thin it out to November 1st, it completely dilutes the absolute joy that I start feeling around december 3rd what you all feel i endorse

everything's good in georgia what you all feel is wrong and you should know that most of the world is trending in my direction they are i have noticed i am a trendsetter yeah and you're seeing a lot of people do this you know why? Because they want to feel joy for 55 days And not for 20 But I think it's the same amount of joy It's just spread over a larger amount of time Wouldn't you want 55 days of joy though? Otherwise November is

What is November? You think of this as your choice Your decision It's because you've been manipulated By advertisers and companies To want to feel this way. It's subliminal. This was pre-COVID I was doing this shit.

What? Pre-COVID I was celebrating it for the first time. I used to celebrate Christmas before it was cool. Before it was cool. I celebrated Christmas before we had a worldwide pandemic. That's right. Everybody else got on that train during the pandemic because they wanted to feel happy. I was already doing it.

on that train during the pandemic because they wanted to feel happy. I was already doing it. Leaving aside the many, many logical fallacies, you seemed like at least partly aware of when you were saying them. I don't think Joe was suggesting that you became sad when the pandemic happened. You were sad long before that.

I'm not sad. I can't tell you how joyful I am. I think there is a perfect area. There is a Goldilocks just right moment that you're missing out on. I think things like stranger things are nostalgia done, right? Let me finish my point. Okay.

Stranger things are moments of nostalgia done, right. And kind of fused to a perfect amount that gets right in your vein. And what you were doing are like the Michael Bay transformers movies. I get so maximal. Even the perfect way of expressing even with stranger things i was like i don't need another season right you know like it was the perfect amount of nostalgia i also i'm good i'm wary of projecting our our our our scrooginess is the

word you're looking yeah i'm scrooging scroogosity scroogosity our our our weariness i'm i'm i'm wary of projecting our weariness at what troy is doing onto troy troy could be a genuine outlier that is experiencing the maximum amount of joy over a great amount of time because he loves it true joy and not so that's like i'm just i'm going to stop criticizing him yeah you know what i think see he's a very shrewd and savvy political player. Because what he's doing is he's making us make this argument on an episode airing on December 7th or something like that. And so we are all going to look like lunatics. We rose to the bait. We did.

We rose to the bait. And he knows that whenever everybody else is listening to this, all they're thinking about is the holiday season. They're doing their shopping. They're in the midst of it. Maybe it snowed once. They're excited. And we're the ones that are ruining it. So, well, I love Christmas.

I hope my favorite time of the year right now. I hope everyone listening now has already done their Christmas shopping at the time we are recording today due to global supply chain issues. There, I scrooged it up for you. I scrooged it up for you, Troy. Just what you wanted. Wait, but hang on. I think, Grant, you hit on something really genius, and it really has opened up my understanding of Troy.

That he really is the Michael Bay of people. Yeah. He's a Michael Bay movie of people. Some people really like Michael Bay films. They're very popular. They're very successful. Yes, I sometimes enjoy a Michael Bay film. Oh, I love a good Michael Bay films. They're very popular. They do. They're very successful. I sometimes enjoy a Michael Bay film. Oh, I love a good Michael Bay film. They bring people a lot of joy.

And a lot of money. But in carefully portioned out doses. Yes. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if I would want to see like a long form TV series directed by Michael Bay. I don't think I would either. Just like 10, 90 minute episodes of epic i can't handle this anymore but do i want to see 12 or so minutes of nicholas cage and sean

connery bantering with each other while they're underneath alcatraz well and i flip to it on tv and then have to go do something absolutely absolutely you know michael bay is very young he's younger than i thought he's only 56 yeah we got michael bay for a long time ahead of us wow okay he's an old 56 though he looks great his hair looks great bam nice nice bear if they would rather die they had better do it and decrease the surplus population that's all i've heard from your mouth. That's crude. Since we started. That is, uh, that's, uh, what, uh, Hey, what's your favorite Christmas Carol? I wish we were having a conversation three weeks from now, but I'm glad we're having it. But it's airing three weeks from now.

So let's get his is slowly backtracking into this. I have an actual and i enjoy it uh it's really hard to pick a favorite uh it changes from year to year there is a clear answer though i do find myself going back to the ray charles spirit of christmas song more often than not uh from oh wait no no i meant your favorite adaptation of the story of the story of christmas carol oh adaptation of the story uh christmas. Oh, adaptation of the story of Christmas Carol. Yeah. There's one clear answer to this.

Are you going to say the Muppet one? Absolutely. I prefer George C. Scott. Also great. I have not seen the Muppet one. I think Michael Caine. What? I think Michael Caine is.

Imposter. Yeah. The emperor has no clothes. That's a whole new Christmas movie you could enjoy for the first time last year with archer and i'm like the minute that false kermit voice comes in i can't do it i swore off the muppets for a long time i got back into him when jason siegel did it i don't like wrong sounding but it's for your son he doesn't know what the right one sounds even he was like this doesn't seem accurate. That sounds like Archer, for sure.

So you were like... That definitely sounds like something he'd say. That is your son. You turned on the movie. Mm-hmm. The French horn... Very slow start. The French horn and strings start playing. Up pops, in loving memory of Jim Henson.

And then the minute you get to the first line of kermit you're like fuck this shit yep no no the minute no his son turns and says this doesn't feel accurate this is father accurate father father father may i get you another ipa yes son my correct answer and it's funny because i'm not i was never a big disney guy is the mickey mouse christmas carol because i had the record that i would play on my fisher price record player oh yeah to it over and over and over the mickey mouse yeah and uh what's his name plays uh jacob marley goofy have you thought about asking your children to give you like a kind of holiday themed name, like your dad or father most of the year?

And then during the holiday, November through December, you're like, Papa. Papa. Yeah. Papa. Come and sit on my lap while I smoke my pipe. Papa. Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol. Also great.

Oh, yeah. I think I'd have to go with the 1996 Bishop McDevitt High School production of Christmas Carol. It's just a coincidence that I happen to play Bob Cratchit in it. But it's my favorite. I never actually saw it. It's only once a year. I probably would be my

favorite if I had a big old hat though man now if I had a time machine I've just changed my wish list I would love to see that Mr. Scrooge the founder of the feast says Joe yes exactly it's only once a year

my Feast, says Joe. Yes, exactly. It's only once a year. In my eighth, seventh or eighth grade, I was supposed to play Scrooge. I'm just having this memory. And I was doing karate in the shower and put the spoke through my foot. What? What? Oh, my God.

That sentence. Oh, my God. That sentence. Cl, that sentence. Oh my god, that sentence. Clip that sentence. I was doing karate in the shower. Wait, wait, no. Start it earlier. Let's start all the way back at the beginning and dissect this thing. When I was in seventh and eighth grade, let me make sure I get this right.

I was supposed to play Scrooge. But I was doing karate in the shower. I put my foot through a spoke? Was there a bicycle wheel in the shower? You showered with your bike back then. Back in my day, you showered with your bike. We lived a lot of time. Two showers.

You got to have a clean Christmas bicycle A clean Christmas bicycle You wanted a bike, you clean it Now you get that bike in the shower, son Please can I have a bike I'll shower it every day So I was practicing my roundhouse on top of a Schwinn. Seems wildly unstable

on top of a Schwinn in a shower. Practicing karate. Balancing on the seat. Like Daniel Kershaw. I spit all over my mic. To turn our shower on when i was a kid there was like it was really in a i mean i guess not everyone was doing karate in the shower but it was a spike that was pointed down and shower on put the spike up and so i was doing like kicks on the wall and

i like planted my foot on the wall and then it just went right down on the spike went right through my foot and uh i was like dad dad and they had to come in just naked 13 year old at my foot blood everywhere and so i was doing it here you idiot the rest of the chain i uh so i i was on crutches and so they couldn't uh I couldn't play uh I couldn't play Scrooge I think they let me like hobble up there as the narrator or something like Tiny Tim no I was I was I was bigger than the the Cratchit yeah giant Tim I think Tiny Tim was played by a doll or something anyways uh the kid who was Cratchit ended up playing scrooge and he didn't know any of the lines so they recorded him doing the lines and they play from off stage and

he just lip synced the lines oh my god it is the single worst theater i have ever seen and i sound amazing horrible oh my god i just realized realized that Troy is like Michael Jordan now, shitting on the guy that kept him off of the varsity league team right now. You still hold the grudge all these years later against that poor soul. He took that personally. Yeah, where's his hit podcast? I would have given him a roundhouse, but I was on crutches. That's when you were practicing.

I'm sorry. How sharp was this spike? It wasn't even that sharp, but the force with which my foot came down. Because you're really good at karate. I am. I still got a scar on my foot. I, too, was in a production of A Christmas Carol. Wow.

Who did you play? Also, when I was in seventh grade. It was the... So, do you guys remember for like 10 years, they had a Broadway production of A Christmas Carol? They would do it at Madison Square Garden. Tony Roberts was Scrooge. And Dee Dee O'Connell was The Ghost of Christmas Past.

Wait, Tony Roberts? Sorry, Dee Dee Khan. Tony Roberts, yeahrooge and D.D. O'Connell was the ghost of Christmas past. And Tony Roberts, D.D. Conn. Tony Roberts. Yeah. The motivational speaker. No, no. The guy from the big ears. I know. I know.

Yeah. Okay. Reginald Johnson was the ghost of Christmas. Oh, you told us about that. Yeah. That's right. Was he a cop? No, he was just the ghost of Christmas present.

I shot a kid. That little crutch. Yeah. I was an angel. We had like, they had a kid that little crutch uh yeah i was an angel we had like they had a bunch of children's choruses that would come into play like these angels that appeared to scrooge at his moment of you know dark his darkest hour so we would we would take the bus into new york every couple days and get suited how exciting it was very exciting wow see it's a big production look who's uh feeling joy from a memory from the past that's nostalgia in moderation yeah i know that's a word you don't listen you don't ever hear it doesn't exist to you sometimes pray late at night to know what it is like to moderate one's

life yeah see matthew like you like take an occasional toke off of nostalgia troy freebases it's over his stove you guys have seen the the new leftovers right not left watchman the day nostalgia oh yeah literally oh the drug yeah yeah that would be cool well i feel joy i'm out there singing christmas carols hanging up the lights having a great time and so are all my legions of followers who have also converted to November 1st celebrating. But there will be no celebrations at the end of this episode because several characters will be dead. Certainly feels that way. What are you going to make us do, a roundhouse kick in the challenge?

Merry Christmas, Matthew! This is an interesting one. You came in hot, took out one of the water elementals, but then after this silvery, huge creature smashed the shit out of Metra, she ran out of there, teleported back to where Baron and Nestor are, but then the remaining two water elementals

turned into vortexes that moved directly onto the spaces of Sir Willamette Keswick and Sir Nestor Coyne. He does not have a knighthood. Not yet. Not yet. He could possibly earn it. I think he's certainly earned one to this point. That's how this story ends.

Any knight can make a knight, Sir Will. Any knight can make a knight. It's true. I'll have to think about it. Not me, you little prick. What are you watching for? Now that sounds like a knight. That's a knight talking.

If ever I heard one. They turn into these vortexes and they move on to your space. This does not provoke an attack of opportunity, but now there is a chance you will be caught in the vortex. Oh boy. And then there's a chance you might get tossed around in there. A lot of bad stuff can happen.

One thing that will happen, regardless of your saves, is that since it is touching the puddly ground, it is creating a swirling cloud of debris all within this 20-foot-wide vortex, obscuring all vision, including dark vision, beyond five feet. Creatures five feet away have concealment, while those farther away have total concealment. And let me tell you something, if you're caught in a cloud of debris and you want

to cast a spell, you're going to have to concentrate, motherfucker. Okay. I think we should get these saves out of the way. They're gimme saves, I think. I don't think they're anything you're going to lose sleep over.

But there are. If you fail the first one, then we're going to talk about the second one. So Sir Will, actually, Sir Will and Lexington, because you may get separated in this whirlpool. And Nestor, give me a reflex save. Okay. This is a pretty strong one And Nestor. Give me a reflex save. Okay. This is a pretty strong one for Nestor. Yeah.

Really gonna have to be a natural one. Oh, come on, man. No. Uh, natural three. Oh, no. 23. Okay. What about, uh,

who you rolling for first? Uh, Sir Will or the Wolf? Sir Will. Oh, yeah? Because you liked that roll? Because I liked that roll. I liked that Natty 19.

Gross. So I'll take that one. Okay. And Lexington. No! Fail. What'd you roll? Natural three.

Oh. It doesn't have the reflexes of a Nestor coin? It doesn't have the reflexes of a Nestor coin. What'd he get? 17. Oh. He doesn't have the reflexes of a Nestor coin? Doesn't have the reflexes of a Nestor coin. What do you get? 17. Ew. Nestor passed. Sir Will passed.

But that poor wolf. No. No, Lexington. Did not. No. So. Well, this is very interesting. It's a very interesting situation.

A very interesting situation. A very interesting situation. Was that the alternate take? First thing that's going to happen is Lexington is going to be buffeted by these waters and slammed and take max damage from the slam. 14 points of damage. And then I need a second reflex save because he failed. Come on, Lexington.

Actually, I'll turn this over to the Naish. Let's go to the Naish for this one. I'm going to use the orange paladin die. Wait, you know what? One can argue you all have to roll the second reflex save. An affected creature must succeed on a reflex save when it comes in contact with the vortex to take damage as if it were hit by the

vortex creature's slam attack. It must also succeed on a second reflex save or be grabbed and held in the powerful currents. So everyone including Lexington. Okay. Follow up save., here we go

Come on, Lexi Sir Willamette with the orange paladin dye from Alden in Atlanta That one Oh, I think I got you, buddy Yeah, I got it, I think I don't remember Sir Will's reflex already, but I think it's a 27 27, you're good, Nestor? Uh, 32.

Is, uh, we're gonna go daily double for Lexington? Lexington is a 25. Okay. You are not caught in it. Uh, and I would argue, because you're not caught in it, you can stay atop him. But he just takes damage. He just takes that damage, uh, from being slammed.

Hang in there, Lexington! I'll get us out of this mess! And it's Sir Will's turn.ington. I'll get us out of this mess. And it's Sir Will's turn. I said I'd get us out of this mess, and I will. Foul creatures. Damn. Yeah, this is tricky. Is the creature attackable?

Yes. Does it have a form? It doesn't have a form, but I looked into this pretty extensively, and shocking, there's not a lot of... People are divided about it, but the ruling that I came down on is like, in nowhere does it say it's immune to damage while in this state. So even though it seems ridiculous, I think there are probably weak points within it that you can attack. You know what's ridiculous? It's a creature made up completely of water.

This guy gets it. Silly. It's just silly. Let's just embrace it. It's a creature made up completely of water. This guy gets it. Silly. It's just silly. Let's just embrace it. It's just fantasy. Like the holidays. In this early part of the season. It's like we just made a dial tone.

That was fun. Thanks, Amy Coke. But don't forget, it would still have concealment even though it's all around you. Well, what Sir Will's going to do is say, i'm going to get us out of here lexington uh and he's going to turn and he's going to i mean is my oh my movement would be well is my movement impeded at all uh no because you passed on the save you are not impeded had you been grabbed and thrown up in the currents, then... Yeah, okay. So then here's my question. Can I charge? Well, is it like... Well, it's difficult terrain.

It's not difficult terrain, right? Yeah, it's not. It's very... It's not difficult terrain, and it's not blindness, because you can see within five feet. Yeah, basically, because you pass that save, you're able to get out of there, if you so choose. All right, so then I'm going to go racing out of there with a charge at the other one. Okay. And ride through it, basically, like with the ride-by attack. Nice.

Okay, so you're going to try and move directly towards the west, or you're going to go at an angle out with the ride-by attack. Nice. Okay, so you're gonna try and move, like, directly towards the west, or you're gonna go at an angle out with the rest of your party? An angle out with the rest of my party. Okay. That would mean you would go through the square of the other vortex, right? Or is there a way

to get by it? Not unless the vortex... So the vortex is actually 20 feet by 20 feet, so it's larger than the creature. Yes, when it goes into vortex form, it grows. Spreads out. And then, what does that mean? Like, redo the saves? Yeah, as you come into contact with it again,

I would rule that you've got to redo the saves if you want to walk through that space. But if you wanted to just charge directly at the wall and do a tilt, you could do that. Oh, I see what you're saying. And not have to move through its space, but then you're trapped in the room. Yeah, okay, yeah, I'll give you the option. I'll do that. I'll go toward the wall and just do a tilt, because that'll give me the ten feet I need to hit the one. This is the one that

Nestor's in. He comes out, he's going to try to chip away some of the debris that is swirling around Nestor. Try to make contact with the creature for Highbury. Here we go. For Highbury. It's still a 26 to hit. 26 is good, yeah.

Okay, and he will do 23 points of damage. 23. And that's just piercing damage. Okay. 23 points of piercing. And this is the one that Nestor hit, I believe. Yeah, okay, great. And that'll be his turn.

He'll stop right at that wall, turn around, and now he's got about 15 feet away the other vortex he just ran out of, and another 15 feet beyond that, the huge silver surfer creature is going to mess him up, I think. Isn't that artwork great? It is really cool.

I originally had another artwork that it comes up a lot. It even came up on Hero Lab, and I kept looking at it, and I'm like, it looks too cartoony. It kind of looked like a robot. And then I found this one. I'm like, that is what it looks like. Okay, great.

Top of the next round. Actually, could I do a free action? Can I try talking to the creature? Sure. Can I come through, turn around, and just be like, once he gets out of the vortex and can actually see this thing, just say, creature, we are not here to disturb you. We mean only to disturb the enemy above.

Whom do you serve? Are you here by your own will? And it just tilts its head, and the silver essence sort of follows slowly after it, and the head forms as it turns as if it hears the vibrations of your voice but does not understand what you are saying. Yeah, it's like

an automaton of some kind. There's no there there, Baron. What would the knowledge check be on it? How about a knowledge... No, I think it's dungeoneering, but I'll look it up when it comes back to you.

Oh, it's an aberration? No, I think it's a construct. It might be a construct. Maybe it's a construct. This mindlessness. Like a mercury golem or something. Oh, cool. It does kind of look like a golem. Silver golem. Have we identified the other things as definitely? Oh, it's Arcana. Oh. Oh. Oh, cool. It does kind of look like a gold. Silver gold. Have we identified the other things as definitely... Oh, it's Arcana.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, Magical Beast? Arcana would still be Construct, though. I cannot. Oh. Yeah, Construct is Arcana. Yeah, I always thought maybe Engineering or something like that, but yeah. Arcana covers Symbols, Constructs, Dragons, and Magical

Beasts. Right. Top of round, DOS. Nestor. Right. Magical beasts. Top of round dose. Nestor's turn. Nestor is caught up in the current of this thing, but he is not in trouble. All right. Nestor, so can I leave if I try to get out of there? Yeah. Now, the pickle for you is the way that these vortexes have positioned themselves.

They're shielding the creature in the back part of the room, but you could leave and fire at the one that walked onto your space yeah that's what i want to do so nester is like like he's kind of like dodging this debris like in the vortex and it's just like and he like uh somersaults like out of it and just like sprints further back into the previous room, a little bit behind Baron, and he's going to take one shot at the vortex he just left. And that is a 28. 28 hits. And that will be,

that is a 31 points of damage, five of which is electricity. The arrow flies into the vortex and sticks somewhere within it, and you see the water just splash out. Oh, nice. Awesome. Oh, phenomenal. Big hit from Coin. Moving on, it is Baron's turn.

Baron's about 25 feet away from the edge of this remaining vortex, 25 feet away from the edge of this remaining vortex. And then, of course, the silvery creature is standing behind the vortex on the lid of the fountain pool. Where does the water stop that you said was overflowing into here? Right at your feet, because you're right at the entrance. It's just kind of puddling there. It's not collecting. All right. it's not collecting alright I don't know if it matters but I'm going to take a 5 foot step away from that water and still have

the first elemental or the final standing elemental as a vortex within range the first range I can run to my gun and I will take a full attack action at it okay first attack oh that's a natty 16 there you go

do I know? No, I'll just attack it. I'm not going to use Bane on it. First attack is going to be for 23 points of damage. Okay. Bam! Second attack is going to hit with a 28 against Touch AC. Oh, yeah.

For 24 points of damage. Okay. And that's the first shot where the DR is not applied. Right. Another natty damage. Okay. And that's the first shot where the DR is not applied. Right. Another Natty 16. Nice. With 22 points of damage. Okay.

Does a 22 against touch AC hit? It does. That is going to be 25 points of damage. That is enough to do the same. Oh, yeah. Dude. Splish, splash. You've got to take away these allies. That is enough to do the same. Oh, yeah. Splash, splash. You've got to take away these allies. Yeah, I was taking a bath with my bike somewhere in Massachusetts. For the final attack, Baron will use, he just got back a point of grit.

He is going to take a minus two to his final attack, resolve against Touch AC, and fire a bullet against this guy. This creature. So minus two, but still against touch AC. At my lowest attack bonus, here it comes. Wait, wait, wait. Do you have knowledge of arcana? I don't. All right.

I was hoping you could get that bane. But you're too stupid. Too stupid. Too bane construct. Why don't you just keep firing your gun, dummy? Yes, yes, bane construct. Because you're stupid verbal. Damn it.

Because you're stupid verbal. Critical threat. Oh! Oh, Verbal. Critical threat! Oh! Critical threat! Critical threat! Critical threat! Oh, they're immune to crits. No, wait.

Constructs aren't immune to crits. An oft-confused thing, but is this a construct? We don't know. First off, with the critical threat, does a 26 against touch AC hit? It does. Pretty good touch AC, I'll tell you. But that does hit, so roll to confirm.

That is going to be a 16 to confirm. Confirms again. Yes! Wow. So is it subject to crits? It is. There we go. What?

Okay, I'm telling you, man. Oh, you hit the water element. It is. There we go. What? What was it you hit? Oh, you hit the elemental. Yes, elemental. I keep forgetting that. That's a blind spot for us. Playing Wrath of the Righteous was something I got reminded that they are.

That's so cool. I just see Baron getting this point of grit back, seeing it explode over him and immediately spending it. I don't know how you spend it, but you just see something click in his head. And he's able to resolve against Touch AC from a distance. Let's see what we got. Let's bring in... Lex from Denver.

Hi, Lex. Hey, Lex. Lex from Denver, Colorado. Spontaneous immolation grader. Oh. Hi, Lex. Hey, Lex. Lex from Denver, Colorado. Spontaneous immolation greater. Oh. Whoa. That sounds good. That sounds pretty good.

I like the sound of that. Maybe it was... Is this magic? No, it... Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Lex. Poop. That was a fumble, not a...

Sorry, Lex. Sorry, Lex. We'll come back to your fumble one day. I wanted your fumble too, Lex. Lex will hang out when I come back to Denver. All right. Instead, let's go to... Get somebody there? No, it's all good.

Let's go to Ryan in Spring Grove, Pennsylvania. What's up, Ryan? This grid is always bet on burger. Oh! Come on! Fucking perfect. Wow. Hi, Ryan. Hi, Ryan. Your actions have earned the luck that shines on. Fucking perfect. Wow. Hi, Ryan. Hi, Ryan. Your actions have earned the luck that shines on Grant's dice.

Double damage and roll again for a bonus attack with your highest base attack bonus and a crit range of 15 to 20. Whoa. Oh, my God. If the bonus attack crits, then that damage is doubled as well. Wow. Jesus. So it's basically a four times times but it's already double damage.

You just killed this creature. Four times damage on the first attack, right? And I get an additional attack. Okay, here it comes. And it's not a giant grant. I know. Did you put Bane Construct on? Did you put Bane Construct on? No, I didn't put Bane Construct on. So am I rolling once and quadrupling?

No. I'm rolling four times. Rolling four times and quadrupling your bonus damage. Can you put bait and construct on? It's too late. You did it for the second one, though. Well, you wouldn't. Well, would you multiply? Yeah.

We don't know that it's a construct. 99 points of damage on the first attack. Wow. Okay, so it does have some DR that will eat away at that because you haven't hit this one yet. You took out the water elemental first, so you see it takes a big old chunk out. And now what?

You get a free attack? A free attack with a crit range of 15 to 20. Here it comes. This could be a misfire, you know. It totally could. Do you not want to take it? It's your full attack. I know, but that doesn't change the misfire. It doesn't matter on misfire.

That is a 26 against Touch AC. It is not a critical threat. That is a hit. Wow. 25 points of damage. Okay, and the DR no longer applies for this. Right. According to cluster shots.

Okay, right. All right, big, big hits. Always bet on burger. Did I need to roll concealment against the water elementals? No, cause you weren't. I'm not in it. Okay. Got it.

Okay, cool. Wow. Nice. Nice round. Is that your round? That's it. Unless I can roll a knowledge against it, but it's only. Arcana.

Arcana. So I can't. This thing now, with 50 feet of movement, rushes all the way up next to Bear Bear. No! Come at me! And does a full attack. What? He's so mad at Bear Bear.

What? Cool ability. Yeah, it is very cool. But it it's not gonna matter he's not gonna hit him one time i say two hits but i really need the crit i'll give you a hint it's plus 33 plus 33 to hit all right you might hit you might hit 41 wait so your two attacks on uh on uh metro were natural fives natural four five oh i'm so glad I didn't do the spell I was going to do. 41 to hit. That is a hit.

Yeah. You're rolling terribly. Yeah, not good. 13, 19, 23, 24. 34 points of damage on the first hit. It's 4d10. This is just regular damage? There's no cold or?

Yeah, no regular old damage. Slam dam. Slam dam. Slam dam. Slam dam. Slam dam. Thank you, man. And that one's a 48 to hit for, let's see, 13, oh, there's a 10, 24, 37, 38 points of damage.

Oh, you just hear drowned cries, drowned wet cries. Come out of bar's soaked beard. And it gets a nice little juice off. And now it's Metra's turn, who has wisely dimensioned Dorden in the back of the room because she took the brunt of that first round of attacks. Over 60 points of damage in one round. Baron just took the same thing. You know this thing has crazy reach.

What do you do? What what i want to do here i had a plan but i don't think that's going to help us anymore you're 30 feet away from the creature it's true i am baron and nester baron is right up against the creature and nester is 10 feet away right 15 feet away uh 15 feet away yeah Right? 15 feet away? Whatever. 15 feet away, yeah. I like the idea that half of its body moved next to Baron Space and then the rest of the body slunk towards it. Yeah.

That may have been how it attacked, by swinging its torso as hard as it could with a whip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like a charge. First things first, Knowledge Arcana. Knowledge Arcana! Now we're talking. 20 Knowledge Arcana. Oh, dear. Now we're talking. 20 Knowledge Arcana.

Oh, dear. Not a great roll. Sorry, I need more from that. Oh, no. So we won't even know what type of creature it is. I miss Pembroke. That might work in book four. I miss Pembroke, too.

Come back. Yes. Come back, Pembroke. Baron, Mestra says, would you like to be somewhere else? I can hold if I have to, I think. Take it down, Metra, take it down. Alright, Metra will chain lightning it. Okay. Let's just

get some damage out. So I'm gonna need a reflex save from it. Okay. He doesn't roll it because he's immune to your magic. It's a totally golem. This is a fucking golem thing. All right.

Okay. It's a fucking golem, man. Metro will... Matthew, you really wasted that turn. I'm a golem, Cy. Metro will retreat further back into the room. Metro fires that lightning out. It just crackles off its body,

and it does not flinch, still looking oddly down at Baron and Nestor. Reminds me a lot of, what were those things in Minderhall's Valley that you fought that when you killed them, they like, stuff came out of them, oozes came out? Oh, the clay. Yeah, the clay

with the worms inside of them. I can't remember the name. It was worms, that's right. We have artwork of it. Yeah, Atkins. Aboleths, not Aboleths, something like that. Yeah, yeah. All right, Sir Will, what do you got? Sir Willemette Kiswick, he's going to ride out to meet the creature in battle.

He's going to ride out toward the fountain, and he gets Lexington turned around, you know, and he's just like, this is tough, but he's just got to pitch Lexington toward the fountain and he gets Lexington turned around, you know, and he's just like this is tough, but he's just got to pitch Lexington toward the creature and line up the charge. That's the problem. It's like it's going to take a full round because of the angle. Actually, wait a minute. You could just do right by him. From where he was, he could slide by. Yeah. Yeah, baby.

Awesome. So he can clip the creature as he crosses the room. Actually, and he'll stop kind of right next to the creature and almost be a good target for it so that it draws attention away from Baron. And flanks with, oh, nobody's going to flank with him. Nobody's flanking this shit. Yeah, so he will just turn Lexington, eye it up, and then tilt at it. And then the lance comes across his body and tries to sink it into this silvery flesh, question mark?

God damn it, Joe. Another natural two. 26 to hit again. No. Two natural twos in a row on the charges. Yes, you stab with the lance and its body just kind of creates a hole where the lance was yeah forms back up ah have you seen this boy it's top of round three and it's nestor's turn all right nice though so you're about to get terminated mate he says

unleashing a full attack yeah this thing's dead all right first attack actually i don't know we'll see deadly aim rapid shot etc man norse fucking foundry uh that is a 26 that's a miss on the multi shot oh not the one absolutely horrible awful ridiculous run. Okay, on the second attack, what is it, 37? 37 is a hit. Okay. 28 points of damage, two of which is electricity. Okay, 28 points of damage, two of which is electricity. Okay, so you see some of that get through.

And now where you missed on the many shot, it's still only your first hit counts against the DR. Yep, yep. Yep. Okay. Third attack. Another miss. Fourth attack. Another natural three.

Final attack. Another miss. Wow. Thanks a lot, Norse Foundry. Great partners. Can't say enough about these dice. Norse Foundry. Dice.

That's what they make. They make dice. Andse foundry. Dice. That's what they make. They make dice. And it is Baron's turn. Have I taken a look at this guy enough in combat to know if he has reach beyond where he is immediately next to me? You do get the sense that he has pretty long reach. Baron taking an enormous amount, over 70 points of damage in that first round of attacks, is going to use a swift action.

He purposely did not take his immediate action of target of opportunity to strike against this creature that past round, so he had a swift action now to be able to move 50 feet away. I know it can move and still um full attack action but he's basically gonna curve away and remind me is that a inquisitor spell that you took it's a yeah it's from me i wouldn't have had access to it if i did not have inquisitor levels but yes it's also in the spell books for hold while loading but i mean it's a spell right it's not an ability yeah it's a swift action though um it's the nice thing about it um the alchemist anti-paladin blood rager um

magus medium inquisitor paladin it's available to you too psychic ranger and it's ultimate combat by kobold press no just kidding um with a k i'm just trying to what's it called again uh burst of speed and it allows you to move as far as you want without provoking at any point that movement yep until the end of the turn you gain a plus 20 foot bonus to speed. Your movement does not provoke attacks of opportunity, and you can move through the space of creatures that are larger than you, but you cannot end your movement in a round in a space occupied by a creature. Huge. Huge because, you know, any type of movement would have provoked.

35, 40, 50, 55, 60. I'm just going to basically double move towards Metra. Okay. I'll be within a five foot step of Metra so that I could step up to Metra and cast Cure Sirius or Metra could step to me and do whatever spells Metra has available to each other, but keep a little space in between us.

Between that, about 14 feet of space between Nestor and the wall, this thing moves with crazy speed, and it, like, shrinks its body as it moves in a fluid form to go past and behind Nestor. Oh, no. And does a full attack.

Oh, man. He's just getting away from... That moves like water, like mercury, like you said. Yeah. He's going to hit me every time unless he fumbles. Yeah, 44 on the first hit. Just big hits, big hits. You just don't want the nat 20.

34 points of damage on the first hit. And then the second attack, same thing again, another 44. 38 points of damage on the second attack. So it's laid out these attacks on Metra, Baron, and Nestor. And now it's put itself in a position where Nestor's kind of trapped, and it's behind Nestor. Really interesting, and Metra can't use any magic on him. Let's see what Metra is going to do what's

the light situation this room it was dark right cuz we know there's the huge windows yeah darkness has been dispelled exactly by the rules it's perfectly well lit in here we had to use dark vision to see into the hallway it's actually winter you know and when I was keeping the calendar for this it would be probably December or January now, I think. Oh, so they're celebrating Christmas, too. They are. Yule. They sure are.

You can hear it. Step into Christmas. We're going to come on together. The voice is listening out to John. We're going to find ourselves forever and ever. Follow the music. Forever and ever. Welcome to my Christmas song.

Okay. I like to think they're like traveling bands that know all the Christmas songs and they make a lot of money during this time of year because they don't have CDs or records or anything. Yeah, bards, a group of bards. Elton John is the final boss. All right, Metro is going to, quick as lightning, A group of bards. Elton John is the final boss. All right.

Metra is going to quick his lightning, dash down next to Nestor, grab his arm, and dimension Doros to the back of the room. Is she? Yes. Are you ethereal still? No.

So I could attack you if I wanted? Oh, is that within reach? Is this square within reach? Everything is within reach. Maybe this square. I can roll a cast defensively. Yeah. Do that. The question is, is this square that I just moved out of within reach? I wonder if you really get

all this information. Why don't you tell me what you want to do? Just say where you go. Because we're going to attack regardless. I'm on Troy's team now. We. He said that was the rule. Yeah, we.

It's got crazy reach. If you want to get Nestor, you're going to have to roll to cast defensive. Oh, that's fine. I get it automatically. Yeah. Oh, well then. I get it automatically. Okay.

And I'll grab Nestor, and I will Dimension Duras to the... What you don't get automatically is the movement into that space. That's what we provoke. Right. The movement into that space. That's what we provoke. Right. The movement into the space is fine. If there's a move, if I have. No, you left a space before it. If I have left a threatened square is the real important question.

Yes. Yes, you move from one threatened square to another. I can also go to this square. Still threatened. That's threatened as well? What about this square? It hit from 20, so well from 20 feet away. I guess at this point I can tell you it is 30 feet of reach.

Hot damn. So you've taken multiple punches on the way in, Nestor, already. Right now I just have to decide if I want to take it. Just take a hit. I could go down. Oh, with 40 points of damage will put you unconscious? I have 57 hit points, right? You're fine.

If he crits you, you're not. But if you get Nestor out of there, Nestor will kill the creature. Well, Merry Critmas. And I can't roll. There's only a 5% chance that you'll be dead forever. Man, I like those odds. The thing is, too, this is what you wanted to do, and these are the repercussions.

If you told me today's sushi was 5% chance of killing me, I still would have eaten it. 30 feet of reach is something we'd be able to observe. I don't think so. It hasn't invoked it yet. You described it in the very first action. It's true, but yet you still moved right up to Nestor. I thought you were just being a hero.

I guess I was mistaken. Leave me alone. Oh, Joe got under his skin! Get some Christmas in your heart. Joe. What's the acrobatics? Is there an acrobatics DC to move at more than half speed when you're avoiding attacks of opportunity?

I don't believe so. No, it's not like climbing a rope at double speed. I mean, it might be. Who the hell knows? We don't know. Joe, is the rent? I've always hated that rule. I understand why it's there, but I think it should be able to be modified.

You move half speed when you do an acrobatics check. It's like, wait, so I'm that much slower even though I'm super acrobatic? It's just kind of odd. Yeah. Don't do my Christmas. But I understand. You shouldn't just get full speed, but it's got to be some middle ground. It's getting a little tense here.

Joe, is it nice? Is what nice? Living rent-free in Matthew's head? No, it's horrible in here. Okay. What's your intelligence, Nestor? My intelligence is 12. 14.

Okay, I'm not going to risk it because that's permanent death for me if I miss this. Okay. So instead, I'm not going to risk it because that's permanent death for me if I miss this. Okay. So instead, I'm going to do something a little bit... I hope Nestor will forgive me. Okay. I'm going to banish Nestor

to an extra-dimensional plane that has a maze in it. Oh, you're going to maze me? I'm going to maze Nestor. I'm going to maze Nestor to get him out of there. Baby, I've been mazed by by my friend and does he have to roll a save against it he can just will flow that's right no save every every turn every round on

his turn he can attempt a dc20 intelligence check to escape the maze otherwise it disappears after 10 minutes and you disappear back out on the okay i should you can you delay your action until after he goes before the creature again? Or is he so within reach that it'll... He's going to provoke him. He's got 30 feet of reach. I banished him to the GM land. Well, hold on a second.

You can take a hit, can't you? He took 100 points of damage. He took 70-something. Yeah. I mean... Oh, right. Each attack is going to provoke. Yeah. Yeah, it feels combat... I mean, Oh, right. Each attack is going to provoke. Yeah.

Yeah, it feels combat... I mean, reflexes... I just don't know how we're going to do enough damage to this thing now. Yeah, I mean... It's gone. I've already given him two turns. That means Nestor's out of the fight. Yeah, that's what I...

Possibly only for a round. Well, here's the good news. It's Sir Will's turn. Oh, wait. So you let me amaze him? Yeah, I'll let you amaze him. All right. So, yeah, Mettris... I'm sorry, Nest Will's turn. Oh, wait, so you let me amaze him? Yeah, I let you amaze him. All right, so yeah, I'm sorry, Nestor.

And she snaps her fingers, and you just... Sorry about... Boom. And you're in a maze on some other plane. Maybe I'm amazed at the way you took me off the boat. It's not a hard intelligence check. Yeah, it's... You see 20? No, it's a hard intelligence check.

It's impossible, basically. Wait, is it possible he's stuck there for the rest of the adventure? He's got like a 10% chance. 10% chance per round. Yeah, that Gug's back. That Gug, he's back. He's back. He's looking for you.

You meet the Gug in the maze. That's right. Let's do maze combat. Maze combat. Master V. Gug one on one The Gug just sitting there doing the New York Times Crossword puzzle And then Metro will retreat back behind there Final question I have though

I don't think, are golems immune to Disintegrate still? Doesn't disintegrate still like affect objects? Even if I think they just have total magic immunity i think that's the thing with a lot of them okay do you believe in magic do you in a young girl's heart you've done a considerable amount of damage to this creature now it probably has a lot of hit points but i yeah i believe in you guys sir will what are you thinking you're due for a little pop

yeah sir will is just gonna once again this creature runs away from him attacks his allies hurts nester he sees nester vanish probably through some magic of Metra, and he just grits his teeth. Focuses in, knows that he can take the hits from this thing, and just drives Lexington forward. And will do a ride-by-attack. It'll end up putting him about ten feet in front of the creature by the end of it, but he does get close enough to tilt. I banished that former die, moving to the new die. Here we go. Let's get it.

Oh, come on. Oh! Come on. Jesus. That is a 30 to hit. That's a miss. God. Oh, boy.

That scream. So painful. Gotta roll. These single digis. Sick of it. Three charges in a row. Not one of them did hit, but garbage rolls. Top round four, Nestor, roll an intelligence check.

Or can he willfully stay in the maze? Because this is a big difference. Because if he comes out of the maze, he'll be right there. I suppose you could decide to stay in the maze? Because this is a big difference, because if he comes out of the maze, he'll be right there. I suppose you could decide to stay in the maze. Yeah, I just chill out. This is much safer than what I was. It may attempt.

It may attempt. It may attempt. That's all we need to say, yeah. All right, so you're going to stay in the maze? Yeah. This seems nice. I'll take a little breather. I'm badly, you know, not badly hurt.

You could drink a potion. I will. In fact, that's a good idea. You pull'm badly, you know, not badly hurt. You could drink a potion. I will. In fact, that's a good idea. You pull it out and it's a rubber chicken. No. It's weird here. It's a rubber chicken with a noisemaker. I'm picturing the chicken from Moana.

He pulls out that chicken and it's just like. It's not a potion at all! Everything in a handy haversack, all the dimensional weird stuff that happens in a handy haversack is all screwy. It's a couch. It's like, yeah, pull out a couch. No, pull out a battle axe. No, where did I put that potion? Well, it is Baron's turn.

Sir Will has interposed himself, but this is a huge creature. I think you could argue that you can see more of it. Oh, yeah. It's not going to get any sort of bonuses there. You're about, what, 50 feet as the crow flies? That is outside of my first range increment, and still staying within two range increments. Baron is going to, again, five foot step back

closer towards Metra and will expend, do a full round attack action and I will tell you how many of them I will expend grit on to use dead eye to resolve against touch AC at a minus two. Okay. First attack will use grit

and resolve against touch AC. Natural 20. Oh! Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. It's amazing.

Look at that! I don't know if you saw what Joe did. Right before Grant rolled, Joe looked over at me and just mouthed, Crit. I could just feel it coming. We are fair and balanced here. Norse Foundry, thank you for all

your random number generating needs. Norse Foundry is amazing. Grant, do you, was that against regular AC? No, I said it was against touch AC because I spent that point. Alright, so you will definitely confirm. Let's go to the John. With a minus two. It's an 18

on the die to confirm. Oh, yes! It's a confirmed crit! Two crits against this thing. Yes. Phenomenal. Phenomenal! Oh my god. Let's see. Alright, let's go with Ben from

San Diego. San Diego. California. let's see all right let's go with ben from san diego san diego california this one is called knock achilles on his heel in the heat of battle you notice your enemies lapse in judgment or a weak spot in their armor double damage and your enemy enemy gains the shaking condition for 1d4 rounds or normal damage and your enemy gains the flat-footed condition for 1d4 rounds, your choice. Reflex save to have the effect. Minimum one round. Well, that would be awesome if Nestor was still out. Yeah, if I could come back and it's flat-footed.

Well, flat-footed helps us with its AC. I rolled a 25 reflex, which is a fail. Shake and decrease its two hit by two, but like, it's got a plus 33. I think we'd just go flat-footed. I'd rather just do more damage now, right? Oh, right.

You have to do normal damage. Yeah, just do double damage. I'm just going to do double damage, which is quadruple damage for me. Again. He's so happy. We just cut back to Nestor, who just sat down in the maze. He's looking back, drinking his potion like it's so happy. Nestor's, we just cut back to Nestor, who's just like sat down in the maze. He's leaning back, drinking his potion like it's a beer.

I'm just chilling. This is the first time we get to savor, when do you get to savor, really savor a potion of Cure Serious Wounds? This bullet goes straight through this construct's chest, creating a massive hole in the ripples of sonic disturbance that happens to the bullet dealing 95 points of damage. Thank you, Ben.

Thank you, Ben! That's like 194 points of damage on two shots from Baron. So incredible. Still up. Second attack will also resolve Get out of here! Now the DR is out for this attack. Okay. Second attack.

Come on, baby. Come on, Norse Foundry. Don't let me down now. Why would they let me down now? The minus two will let you down. They're great to you. Did we rest since the tree fight? Since you jumped in front and took all that damage for me? Fumbled. Did we rest? I don't recall. Yes, right?

Let me look at, well, hold on. Let me look at well hold on let me look at paladin sacrifice no i have that as a spent spell that's the only time i've spent that spell that is a one let me roll to confirm it's a misfire to misfire is it a fumble uh that is a 25 against that j Not a fumble Just a miss Yeah it basically I'm really I'm pretty sure we didn't rest because that's why I have almost no lay on hands left I think that's all left over from that fight

Yeah I'm not going to risk The gun exploding at this point So that is the end of Baron's turn Well sir well You asked for this. It is. Slams his fist, his mailed fist into his armor.

Come at me, creature! Oh, that hurt a lot more than I expected. 40 to hit. Hit. 34 points of damage. I was hearing the shattering glass in the music. It's like, this shattering glass face.

And a 38 to hit. Hit. Another 5. I gotta switch dice. I wanna stick with this one until the 20 comes up. Uh... Oh. 37 points of damage.

Okay. Okay, let's see here. What are you cooking up over there? I think I might move away from Baron's gun. But you can't. You already took a full attack action. Thanks to quickness.

He really is quick, Silva. Blah, blah, blah is incredibly quick. It can take an extra move. Oh, blah, blah, blah. That's a huge clue. I remember these are original D&D creatures, the blah, blah, blah. Fiend folio. Fiend folio uh it will uh slide back in the room to get out of the way of baron's

shots yeah so it boom boom and then steps back oh dear god I hope Nestor's really smart right now I really doubt it oh man it is Mettra's turn got this creature on the ropes it's true we do but it's immune to magic it is it is immune to magic

Mettra's gonna hold or delay delay Vandelay Industries magic. Metro's gonna hold. Or delay. Delay. Vandalay Industries! It's Ra- no, it's Sir Will's turn. Sir Will. How brave are you, Sir Knight? I know, he looks and he says,

if I charge into the room with this thing, I'm gonna be alone with this thing, like, a hundred feet from Baron, almost, basically. And Metro- and Nestor's just gone. That coward! Knew he would flee the first chance he got. I knew he would vanish into thin air.

The first and second he got the chance. He was just waiting for his moment. Yeah. Apparently this silver creature was just too much for him. Couldn't handle it. He evoked magic powers he's never exhibited before. He must have been holding a scroll the whole time. He's been biding his time.

All right. Yeah, so Sir Will thinks about it and then just stops thinking and starts fighting. And he leans into the thing, knowing that he's going into really dangerous territory here because this thing is just slamming. But he's just going to raise that lance up. He's so small and he's so alone in this giant room.

And just, for harmony! Charge! And he charges. And no really room for ride-by attack on this one. Just goes right up to it. Just goes right up to it and slams Sony. Come on, buddy. Come on, Alden.

Atlanta die. Haven't used this one yet. Paladin die. Let's go. Oh, shit. I missed it. Unbelievable. What'd you roll on that die?

I rolled a natural five. Okay, that's fine. Just matrix. My favorite. God, I did the for hybrid and everything! Oh, that is brutal. I've never understood the switching die strategy. I almost just...

For those of us who don't roll consistently well... Yeah, you gotta take every advantage you can conceivably get. We try to mix things up. Yeah, I just like to spread out the love with the niche. Yeah, I thought about switching, but then I'm like, I'll curse myself because the 20 was coming on the green. No, that's not how it works. Not how any of this works. Well, the other way is also not how it works.

Yeah, I don't... You would think if you stick with one die, the odds are better, but it really doesn't matter. No roll has any relation to the next roll. Right, I know, I know. But in my head, I can tell myself that, and it doesn't feel that way. It's like being at a craps table. Oh, sorry.

And before he charged, he swift action. Lay on hands. Laid on hands himself. Laid hands on himself. Hamaker Schlemmer. Hamaker Schlemmer. A lemon Schlemmer. He Schlemmer? Hammock. Hammock. A lemon Schlemmer. He Schlemmered his hands.

Top of round five. Nestor chilling in the maze. And then we kick it over to Bear. No, I'm going to try to get out now. Oh, you want to try to get out? Come on out! All right, so he does a yawn, stretches, ah, winces at his wounds. 12 seconds later. Nope.

Wanders around fruitlessly for a little bit. Yeah, I just imagine this. Like, he finishes the last few decadent sips of the potion, tosses the glass onto the ethereal ground. It shatters. And then he just looks up and, well, do I get out of this place? And he just, like, starts wandering. And it, like, zooms out, and it's, like, inside of Moria, right?

It's just, like, this moria right it's just like this gigantic space like a million ways out just wandering like like jack torrance running out of this maze baron you're up you're a mile and a half away from this guy who's around the corner what do you want to do baron is for it. Oh, yeah! Good for you. I am misfire. Oh, good for you. What does it take for you to clear? Move action.

It's going to be a while until I can do anything good. Just to move action? Yeah, but I still only get one shot at any point. One shot could do it. Gung, gung, gung, gung, gung. Yeah. I was going to move you within range. So you can quick clear and then...

Make sure he's within 30 feet. No, it's not 30 feet. I think I have it under control. If you want to move me, you can, but I then... Make sure he's within 30 feet. No, it's not 30 feet. I think I have it under control. If you want to move me, you can, but I'm going to move forward. My turn is planning on saving my grip point, spending a standard action there, and moving 40 feet forward.

So you won't be able to shoot at this turn? No. But you could be able to shoot at this turn, is what I'm offering you. Yeah, but I would just move me within 80 feet of it. Alright, where is that? 80 feet is

10 feet in front of you. You want to angle him in a way that he can get the shot off to. Oh, yeah. Because of the way it's slinked behind the corner there. Preacher has... Yeah, but you can hit that square where its foot is. Like, right there.

So, like, you can put me there. All right. Well, then, you know what? No, I'll leave you to do this on your own and see if I can do something else to help Sir Will. Thank you, Metro. There's not a lot I can do to help you. Okay, Metro is instead...

Well, Baron will take his turn then, unless you want to go now. No, I'll go. Okay. Metra is going to cast... Yep, I've got the range. Wall of Force to keep Sir Will and the creature in there alone. Good luck, Sir Will. Good luck, Sir Will.

The water level just starts rising. That's the Wall of Force. The water level just starts rising. That's the wall of force. That's just... Rising. Lexington gets win. There's not anything. There's really not much I can do to help you, Sir Will. So instead, I will cast haste.

I will cast haste to Baron and I. I have haste on me from Channel Vigor. Well, then I won't do that either. Christ sake, you're amateur. You go. Sorry. I'll hold once more. bigger well then i won't do that either you would christ's sake you're amateur you go sorry i'll hold once more baron will standard action clear his gun and will move 20 feet forward uh to be within 80 feet of this creature yep talk to me wait why are you doing 80 feet because that's within two range increments allowing me to use

dead eye and resolve against touch ac with only one grit point spent but that's next round he's gonna hit me and just move back uh so why not get closer this round so that you can move again the most i can move is 40 feet forward it's almost as if dimension door would have been helpful so if you want you had 40 feet of movement and you just moved 10 right so just move the full 40 i don't think i moved 10 i moved i think you were 20 basically stay out of 50 feet just move up a little bit okay because at 50 feet he can come and get actually he can come and get you wherever he wants yeah because he's got 30 feet of range so yeah that's why i'm saying it's really so that's why you're saying 80 feet because that's fine yeah okay that's that's good so you

move forward 20 and clear your gun yep is it a quick clear or you get a shot off it's not a quick clear it would be a move action i can't move so the most i can speed up clearing a gun is to a move action so i would lose i wouldn't be able to attack if I also actually moved this round anyway. I had no shot on him. So it is the creature's turn. Unless Metro would like to go. No, the creature can go. You go. Okay. You go. Do I switch dice?

No, I'll stick with green. Here we go. First attack against Sir Willamette. Caddy one. I'm going to pull up the sheet. Oh, he'll never confirm. 48. Humble.

Not a crit. We have very little time here to finish this guy off. 34 points of damage. Second attack. Oh. That looked like it was going to be. 45 to hit. Oh, that looked like it was gonna be. 45 to hit.

38 points of damage. And then the creature will, mm. If I move away from you in this position here, that would provoke that you... I won't even get over the DR. ...are terrible. The creature doesn't know that. So the creature is going to... move...

down... towards the back of the room, like the southwestern portion of the room, and you can take your attack of opportunity, Sir Will. Alrighty. That's right. Yeah, there you go. That is a... This game.

43 to hit. Well, that's a hit. That's a hit. Not even going to get over the DR. Six points of damage. Oh my god. I mean, he's got a lance and he's mounted.

He needs the power of the wolf. But it's funny because I'm setting you up for the charge. I'm just baiting you for the charge. If I could stay next to you, it's better for me because I'm giving you the opportunity to charge, but I'm trying to get from baron and if nester returns uh but it all comes down to whether or not you can hit this charge you've missed it five times but you also have nowhere else to go now your back's against a wall you know once we get baron in this room you'll be a fish in

a barrel and to that end okay well i don't like that look on his face. It's kind of Scrooge-y, if you ask me. Metro's going to rush down to Baron and Dimension Doris into the doorway in the room. That was the timing. You need to wait until after Bear Bear's turn. Okay. So then he's keeping it at 35 feet, and he can do a full attack action. Yes! Nice.

Pulls Baron in with a Dimension Dough. That's what I make my Christmas cookies out of. Dimension Dough. It's delicious. But will you even need it? Because it is Sir Will's turn. Come on, Sir Will! Come on, Sir Will!

I don't know why you wasted that spell slot. I'm so sorry that I kept you from playing. I effectively paralyzed you. No, it's fine. I was trying to save your life. It's all right. Some friend. Some friend.

I'm going to hit him with my sword. I'm going to say a little vacation. That's fine. Okay, here we go. He attempts the charge again. This thing seems impervious to my lance, but I feel this time I will strike it He says within his helmet

And then he charges down Ride by attack Which will actually put him here So just at the edge of the creature But he goes past it Okay, that's actually on its spot Oh yes, I see that So then he'll have to stop, I guess, here

Yeah, right in front of it Right between the edge of the pool And the north side of it. So he can't quite ride by, which is fine. He will just... Bam! And let's see if the silver can move around it or if he can actually land a charge. Nat one.

With the Highbury Lance, natural five. Oh, Mike! This is uncanny. This is... Sir Will Beggar's belief that this keeps happening. I just keep seeing the silver moving around the lance. It is infuriating. Ah, wicked creature.

Stay in one place. Round six. Also, heal myself. Heal as you go, yes. And that's my last one, so this is it. Last lay on hands of the day. Nestor, give me an intelligence check. Jay, oh my gosh.

How do I get out of this place? Nope, 90, 13. Stuck there forever. 10 minutes. 10 minutes, feels like forever. Baron. Wouldn't it be great if you came back and we were all dead? Yeah.

Ooh. Ooh. No, my ride just just loot these corpses loot the corpses and jump off the edge of the fucking thing someone move us back five feet i'm measuring an additional five feet than what i had when i was here um no you're 50 feet away did you want to be within 45 feet yeah but it's too late now it's not i all right yeah she didn't know okay um let me ask you this let's talk about the stakes here what is your misfire range is it within 45 feet. Yeah, but it's too late now. All right. Yeah, she didn't know. Okay. Let me ask you this.

Let's talk about the stakes here. What is your misfire range? Is it possible that you will misfire again? I can always misfire, but I'm not going to explode on another. No.

What? What are you doing? What I'm hearing is there's no way it could ever happen. Yes, but there's not a chance that I will misfire again and my gun will explode at right now, which is why I'm not going to misfire again. There's no chance it'll mis happen. Yes, but there's not a chance that I will misfire again and my gun will explode

at right now, which is why I'm attacking. There's no chance it'll misfire right now? God damn it. Here we go. Full attack action. Up close and deadly. That is cocky. Misfire. Oh no! See? Why do you have to tempt fate like this, Joe?

Why can't you just be on our team? That was just a joke, but I mean... That was just a joke! With Nestor in the maze and Sir Will at his current hit points, somebody's gonna die. I'm gonna go to the maze and I'll leave you guys. I'll go see if I can find Nestor and I'll

be back in a little while. I really thought Baron had this polished off right now. That's why I went in. He set you up! Oh my god. It is the golem's turn now. That's why I went in. He set you up. Oh, my God. It is the golem's turn. I didn't say it was done. Oh.

Oh. Let me think about this for a second. Don't move on so fast. There's no chance the gun will explode. Got a little too cocked. Why'd I do this? I don't know, but that actually is going to hurt people's ears. I can see it in the way you do it. I don't know but that actually is going to hurt people's ears much like much like every time

Troy decides to take a long turn and he just goes really loud yeah a lot all the time no it's awful didn't know I did that it's awful um my footstep already happened

um I'd like to thank you for this year. This is your greatest Christmas wish. To kill Sir Willem and Keswick. Yeah, that's it. First turn. No, Baron! Come on! Explode the gun! Well, you know what? I'm not going to go after Sir Willem and Keswick.

I'm going to move right up next to Metra and Baron and allow Sir Will to take an attack of opportunity. This is very, very bad. I hate it. I hate it. Miss. Natural six. The creature slides past Sir Will and ends

up directly next to Metra and directly next to Baron in this beautiful little spot they left for him. Slinks through with his silvery body. Did you ever heal? No. How about one for each of you, huh?

First one will be against Baron. Oh, God. 38 to hit. That's a hit. That's a hit that's a hit this is very tense 39 points of damage ow second attack against metra

do i ether step if he crits he'll kill me yeah i know but this is the same thing with the mirror image Against Metra. Do I Aether Step? If he crits, he'll kill me. Yeah, I know, but this is the same thing with the mirror image when we were against that. You have to Aether Step before the attack is rolled? Yeah. No, I mean, I'm assuming you're committing to rolling against me. I can Aether Step after he rolls, but before the result is revealed.

He declares the attack, but before he rolls the attack. Right. I think you go for the 5%, man. I think you go into the Jon. But I mean, if you go into the Jon, there's nothing you can do. Exactly. You can't help Baron next round. This turn, this whole next turn, we're stuck.

But what if we permanently lose Metra? Literally, the campaign is over. I'm saying it right now. I won't go into this castle without Metro but maybe just maybe Sir Will will land a charge alright well now I'm definitely I've listed that in the column of either step

by the way let's just be clear Sir Will's charge was never going to do that much damage so uh some though would have been helpful more than zero I agree, would have been helpful. More than zero, I agree. It would have been better. Bring it on, bring it on.

You want to take the attack? You eating off that plate? I'm rolling in front of you! Oh dear. One thing first. Wait, wait, wait. I want to make sure I have one thing. Okay. This is so tense, Matthew.

We got another tattoo. Yeah, go ahead and roll. Natural two. Yes! That is a 35 to hit. Well, that would hit, except now my Swirling Smoke tattoo causes you to roll a 20% miss chance. Oh.

A 20% miss chance. So even on a crit miss, John. Oh. A 20% miss, John. Oh, wow. Okay. He's going back to the plate. He's going back to my... He got it. 85.

85. That was almost close to an 86, which is... An 80 creature would have just died. An 86. I'll let you know right now. This is 4d10 plus 11 points of damage. Okay. Awful, but I'll be okay. All right. you know right now this is 4d 10 plus 11 points of damage okay awful balbioka all right just don't roll four tens i rolled two nines oh come on oh this is the highest uh damage that i've done on

this um oh my god 20 points are just three you gotta get the fuck out of here! 42 points of damage. Okay. Takes it like a champ. I'm at 15 hit points. That's pretty bad, right? Is that bad? I'm sick. It is Mettra's turn. Jesus. Five foot step.ra's turn. Jesus.

Five foot step. Roll to cast defensively. I automatically get it. Don't even roll it. Even a natural one is automatic? I don't know. I always roll it just in case. Yes.

You're fine. All right. And I grab Baron. Five foot John. Emerald Dimension door. Grab Bronn. Grab Bronn. Grab Bronn. Grab Bronn. That's what I call him.

I just have a possibility. Emerald Dimension door back to the north side of the bigger room. Oh no! Back to Trinale. Why not? Okay. Yeah, that works for me. Holds Baron back. I just wanted us to stay together. I wanted us

to die together. I'm lonely. End of your turn. Yes. Oh, God. Sir Willem McKesson. Oh! Do we have any bottle caps? Wait.

It is up to us now, Lexington. What was the light situation like in the other room? You said it was daylight streaming in through the windows in this larger room. It's light. It's normal light. Okay, then never mind. There's light coming in through the arrow slot. Come on, Joe.

Come on, Joe is right. Sir Will's going to try it one last time. I say that he'll probably need three more charges in this combat but I just wish Nestor were here. Be nice.

He wants you to die. Lexington, we must spring up on him fast before he can move that slippery skin away. Quick! He's not looking! And he's looking at Metro and Baron and it's go. And they.

And he's just tiny. So tiny behind this creature. And he tries to sneak up behind it and poke it in the butt. Bam. One final death kill. I mean, you have to. I have to. One of these has to.

One of these, right? Or Fumble. Has to. Natural two. I mean. This is. Unbelievable. This is. Natural two. one of these right or foam has to natural to I mean this is natural to how many in a row six in a row how many fuck you I believe well the first one but it's the first one hit but it was a natural It's so funny because when the die hits You have this big shit eating grin And it's always like

No, don't fuck No, don't talk Sucks I hate it I hate sucking It's the worst It really is not good Nothing sucks more than sucking

It's round seven It's Nestor's turn Come on, Nestor Come on Oh my god This would be amazing If he came back as the hero. Actually, now, though, he's going to come back in range.

Scary. Well, a little bit. Do you know? Daddy19. Oh! Oh! Yes! He did it!

Nestor reappears onto the battlefield. Oh, but you have a full attack right now, right? You have a full attack? I do. Yeah. But he's within 30 feet. No, but he can take a five foot step diagonally away and be way out of there. Right? Yeah. Way out of

there? Yeah. Just out of there. Is he out of 30 feet? Still within 30 feet. Yeah. Let me check here. It's one attack though, and I think Nestor still has it. He's only been hit twice. Nestor, I would say just get... Oh, but he's going to provoke. Yeah. I'm just going to do a full attack.

Okay, I will take the attack of opportunity. Did I leave my 20 on your salty plate? That was sugar. All right. I am going to take off rapid shot. I also realized that I still had Sickened on from something. That's why you were rolling so low. Boy, so if anyone dies in this combat

Troy, it's just an after. Steroids. Alright, here comes my attack. I'll tell you what. This could be the nat 20. You know it's coming. It could. Are you telling me you could misfire? 90-17. Okay. So he does hit Nestor for a couple points of damage.

Dude, if you just hit him with this first hit 40 points of damage, okay grant give skid your bottle cap Stop ball ranting my bottle caps. I don't even have one damn it Joe Even with that potion another 40 points of damage Nestor is in not in great shape. Not in great shape at all. All right. So this is the many shot resolve. That's a natty 15. That is a 40 to hit.

That is a hit. Okay. All right. This will be the deal. We did it. Okay. Fantastic. 55 points of damage 7 of which

is electricity it has DR 15 adamantine and DR 15 bludgeoning obviously they don't stack however 55 is enough to kill yeah

he appears out of the space thank boom two arrows He appears out of the space Thank I own the day Boom Two arrows And we'll see you next week Take that silver server I'll see you in hell

See you in hell silver server Oh my god Oh man I am crushing all these dice With a hammer! The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015. Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo. All Pathfinder images are property of Paizo and are used with permission.