The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 307 - GL Numbs

Episode Date: December 14, 2021

With the golem and elementals narrowly defeated, the heroes press on. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Expires April 8th. Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. There will be no celebrations at the end of this episode because several characters will be dead. The sorcerer used her most powerful spell to save an ally's life.

I'm going to banish Nestor to an extra-dimensional plane that has a maze in it. Oh, you're going to maze me? I'm going to maze Nestor. I'm going to maze Nestor. Leaving the remaining heroes outnumbered and outmatched.. Oh, you're gonna maze me? I'm gonna maze Nestor. I'm gonna maze Nestor. Leaving the remaining heroes outnumbered and outmatched. I mean, you have to. I have to. One of these has to. One of these,

right? Or Fumble. Has to. Natural two. I mean... This is... UNBELIEVABLE! This is... Natural two. How many in a row? But just when all seemed lost. Daddy 19. Oh!

Oh! Yes! He did it! He reappears onto the battlefield. The Slayer found his way home. 55 points of damage. It has DR 15. Adamantine.

And DR 15 bludgeoning. However, 55 is enough to kill him. Yeah! The adventure continues. Merry Christmas, Matt! Now. We drank a toast to innocence We drank a toast to now And tried to reach beyond the emptiness

But neither one knew how, Matthew Do you like that one? I'll love it more in about a week. You know what? According to the people listening to this, we're late into December. Well, then, yeah. If I were able to time travel, I'd like it a lot.

Met my old lover in a grocery store I love that song. That song should be a movie. I don't like that song. You don't like it a lot. My old lover in a grocery store. I love that song. That song should be a movie. I don't like that song. You don't like it? Is it a problem you have with Dan Fogelberg? I don't like Dan Fogelberg. What did he ever do to you?

He destroyed my childhood. I'll put it that way. That's understandable. You just don't like that genre of music. No, I don't. I always think about that. i think about the easy listening stations and you know my mom's stupid fucking hippie friends were around all the time listening to that fucking shit and i start to get nauseous oh i just love that song same old same old another it's more of a new year's song but uh

you know it definitely i listen to it i never thought of it as Year's song, but, you know, it definitely, I listened to it. I never thought of it as a holiday song. I didn't ever listen to the lyrics because I hated it so much. But you're right. I had no, I mean, I'm sure I've heard it, but I have no memory of hearing that song until you talked about it being your favorite Christmas song. Yeah, it was up there for a while. It was a time when it was number one.

It kind of bounces in the top five for me. It really hits all the spots for me. I have a question for you is it dan fogelberg related or related to that song he died fogelberg adjacent he died at 56 he died at uh uh michael bay's current age oh then michael bay killed dan is that what you just said yes he lived harder than the bay all right let's immediately cease all progress on giant slayer adventure path deal and just turn this into an investigative journalism or podcast where we investigate the death a serial style investigative journalism podcast where we investigate a the death of

dan folgerberg and b the many murders of Dan White and the many murders of Michael and Michael and Michael Bay's involvement. It is a conspiracy slash true crime podcast. We will have 500 times the listeners we have now about a week and a half with the stipulation that none of the information that we uncover or disperse is true at all. That doesn't matter. If it just says true crime in the subtitle. Right.

Hang on a second. The information might be true. Who are we to say that it's not? It's definitively not true. Just because we made it up doesn't mean that we happen to stumble upon the truth in our brains. Right. Just because we made it up doesn't mean you listener have proof it's not true right you have proof it's not true yeah email me i'm fine maybe i thought i made it up because i actually heard

it somewhere like years ago and i forgot i heard it and i thought oh here's an idea maybe you actually witnessed the murder skit but you've just it's a repressed memory yeah who's to say that's not the case if i saw michael bay murder someone i would want to forget it yeah i wanted to forget everything i've seen michael bay do so that would that would follow i am most upset that dan fogelberg cannot create the theme song for gcp 2.0 because he's dead. Michael Bay. Michael Bay. No thanks to you, Bay.

That's just sad. It's a great song. Talk about, I mean, last week you were giving me shit about nostalgia. This is a feeling of nostalgia of an event that never existed for me. But it's something that I think about like being older and if you're vent that never existed for me but it's something that like i think about like uh you know being older and if you're if you're older and single and running into a an old lover at the grocery store

they're married and you know they're not happy and they just see like why don't we just go and uh ruin our spouse's lives no we're just we're gonna grab let's go to a bar all the bars are closed we gotta catch up how we just grab a a six pack and sit in the car? And they just talk. Nothing happens between them. And then he gets back in his car and she drives off. And as she does, the snow turned into rain. Who gets arrested for the DUI.

Yeah. So you're saying they were, so you, Troy, are promoting drinking and driving. That's not what I'm saying. That's Michael Bay talk. Although, that is how Dan Fogelberg died. He died of prostate cancer. I have a question for you, Skid. Is that song...

Mr. Click brought it down. I am a Grant. Merry Christmas! Get those colonoscopies. That song sounds awfully like another song i know which i know you dislikes kid and that is taxi by harry chapin so where do those two things rank was that the theme song to taxi no no no can i can i read you a quote troy you're gonna love this i want i'm gonna read you a quote and i want you to guess who said it another artist about

dan fogelberg are you ready yes there are songs that people say are the soundtrack of your life i would take out my dan fogelberg records and would need read a passage of lyrics from his work and go about my day that was an artist who changed my life who made me change where and when i wanted to go and make music that I wanted to play and thus led me here. I'm going to say Garth Brooks. Absolutely right. Yes! Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!

How? That is so terrifying. It is terrifying. Sadly impressive. I thought the answer... It's really impressive in a very pathetic way. Sadly impressive. Write that down. That's amazing. I thought that was going to happen

and I'm glad I took the gamble. I thought there were only two possible logical answers to that question. One was Michael Bay and the other was Frank Stallone. You guessed it. Frank Stallone. How did you know that?

I cheated. I was looking at the Wikipedia while you read it. Well played. Well played, LaValle. Are you a Garth Brooks fan as well? I do like Garth Brooks. Do you see similarities between Fogelberg's music and Garth Brooks' music? Now I do.

Is that a Garth Brooks? You know, they say he gives a mean concert. You think he's mean to the people? No, no, he's like really puts on a show. Why don't all of you shut up? You're all stupid and ugly. Won't you pay to get in here, you idiots?

Alright, I'll play one. No, no. I wrote this one in the back of a Buick. I like the idea of a mean concert instead of like a music concert like if people just show say fuck all of you look at you you stupid fuck and the thunder but he never sings he just like is mean to people the whole time it's a why do we pay for that brian cox could make a fortune if that were a thing these seats were expensive um well here's the question i didn't know he was dead now i'm sad here's the

question i had for you uh let's bring it back to christmas song related yes and it can be uh to anybody to any of you guys really uh vogelberg adjacent yes just sadly impressed yeah Do you? I'm still laughing at sadly impressive. Yeah. In fact, it was just a lie. Yeah. That's more sad, but, and less impressive. What is your query? Your Christmas query?

Do you, you listen to so much Christmas music. Do you hear any Christmas songs that you've never heard before? Yeah, I do. I do. Okay, stop. Why? Is it because they were written this year or like do new christmas songs come out they do yeah okay they do and i curate my list every year it's a list that i've

been curating now for 12 years and every year i'm surprised that i still find one i'm like how is that not on my list because i'm i've listened to uh i listen to christmas radio stations several serious christmas stations and then when i'm not in if i'm flipping through the four different because I listen to Christmas radio stations, several serious Christmas stations, and then when I'm not in, if I'm flipping through the four different Christmas... Did you say serious Christmas stations? Serious XM radio stations. Oh, I was like...

Very serious. How does that make sense? But like I have four stations... Like NPR. Tuned up. And while I'm driving, I'm just switching between each station until I like the song.

But when I don't like any of the songs, I switch to my Amazon Music. How do you feel about christmas isn't canceled just you the new song by kelly clarkson have you listened to it i haven't but i do have not one but two kelly clarkson songs what are my lists because they're fucking great what are they let us know um all right i will let you know one is called uh underneath the tree uh-huh that one that's a good one underneath the tree and then the other one is that her original song that is

her original i think it sounds like it's like 60 years old but it's perfect it's great well she is timeless uh her other one oh there it is right it queued up uh the other one. Oh, there it is. All right. It queued up. Uh, the other one I like is Christmas Eve. It's called. I don't know that one. I don't know that one.

All right, here. He'll play it. Two seconds. I'm familiar with the holiday. Yeah. Stay before Christmas. Ready? I don't think you're allowed to play it.

No. If it's through a laptop, it's fine, Joe. Yeah. If it's a laptop next to his microphone, he can play it as long as he wants. I can't hear it. I waited all year Baby since I see your face Walking through my door

Yeah yeah yeah Alright so the answer to the question is Every year you hear new Christmas songs That you like Ariana Grande put out one a couple years ago It's fantastic I Pelotoned to that yeah extensively last year i only peloton now to the christmas playlist and i've played i've done the same ride

uh eight times in a row now yes i noticed that because i i jumped on the other day and saw you doing a ride and it's like one of your friends is doing a ride and looked at it and it was like fucking october and you're riding a christmas christmas track it was afternoon first i think i think that's kind of some of my favorite christmas songs honestly like mariah carey kelly clarkson ariana grande they're all fantastic pop female vocalists and they just they bring a kind of athleticism to their vocals in these christmas songs and they use the christmas genre as an excuse to kind of show off their vocal chops people have been doing this for years i mean so many rock stars have put out Christmas music because it's the best music.

Also because lots of it is royalty free. And it's an easy way to make a lot of money. Tell that to Peloton. They've got four songs they use on their Christmas playlist. It sucks! Well, if you're only doing the same ride, you're going to have the same playlist the whole time. Oh, I did one the other day.

I hate their faux enthusiasm. All of the coaches. And it was like Christmas songs from Christmas movies. But because they don't have any good rights, it's like the theme song to Elf, you know, the credits song to Elf. And the whole time the instructor is like, oh, is that Buddy? Is that Buddy the Elf over there? Hey, Buddy, we're going along for a ride.

Go to the candy cane forest. And then, like, the next song. That is funny. She did this for 30 minutes, and every song is like, oh, who's that? It's the mean old Grinch. Oh, it's a hot shop. It's hot. It's hot.

And for 30 minutes, she did that. I was like, come on. I wish you had texted me beforehand, because I would have said, there is nothing about this series that you will like. Nothing. So bad. This is a class for adults? It is, yes. It's Peloton. They're not all like that.

No. Present! Such a beautiful sight! Dan Fogelberg, we hardly knew ye. And Michael Bay. And Michael Bay. Justice is coming for you. Justice is coming, Bay. If there's any justice, you. And Michael Bay. And Michael Bay. Justice is coming for you. Justice is coming, Bay. If there's any justice, you're next, Bay.

I hope you have eyes on the back of your head, Mr. Bay. Because the Glass Cannon Network is coming for you. Coming for you. Hard-hitting journalism. A journalist would never lie. This is going to be like only murders in the building. That's exactly what it's going to be like. Well, last week there were a couple murders of monsters.

Mm-hmm. And one of them almost murdered you. However, as we went off the air, and I'm sure people have been bitching about it all week. I was going to say, that was the best part, was that we did it by the book. We realized. Clean fight.

No errors. I like a clean fight. You know what I mean when I say that? I like a clean fight. Yeah. When did you say that? I can't remember. Was it Androids and Aliens?

It might have been. I don't know. We played too many games. But, you know, hey. I feel like this is a clean fight. The mini of Pitcher Perfect Game, there's no reason to do it anymore. Exactly. And.

That was Nolan Ryan's philosophy. If I had a nickel for every time I heard Nolan Ryan say that. That was fine. Seriously, this is the last time. All right, this is it. What, he pitched seven? No, he didn't. Yeah, seven. seriously this is the last time all right this is it pretty bitch seven no well matthew you pointed out uh in in let's call it classic matthew fashion uh an element of the spell uh maze that you hadn't noticed uh let the listeners know for those who don't care about the

rules like some people i would like to first point out this wasn't classic matthew fashion because at the time i cast it this wasn't relevant i know what i said i i agree with you but only specifically because it happens to be as always as it always is the last line of the spell it's not the last line of the spell damn i thought it was the last line of the spell is also interesting but it is minotaurs are not affected by this spell oh that's a great last line relevant line i love that line though that's such a cool little tidbit in that that is very it is actually in the second sentence oh basically who has the stamina who has the stamina to read through to the second sentence of a spell description in this day and age? To be fair, also, it was very convenient that we didn't bother to go back and look at the spell when it became relevant,

which is that when you attempt the DC-20 intelligence check to escape the labyrinth, that is a full round action. So Nestor should not have been able to go and take his attack. And so we were sitting there and like, I do not want to rerecord the end of this and baron was up next so i had baron to roll uh off air and he hit and would have killed it so it was much more moment so you could sleep at night so i could sleep at night it was much more momentous though for ness to just pop and pop yeah that's a cool that's a cool moment yeah cool moment and we're never going to take it away yeah even though it will be stricken from the i feel like it should i if i were to change that spell that's exactly what's stricken from the cross-eyed when you finish that sentence it'll never be taken away but it never happened

it can never be taken away because it never happened and i don't know what you're talking about i would balance that spell by making it take a full round action to get out the first round you're in the maze and then subsequent rounds you get out for for free on the check because you've been wandering the maze and you've lost yeah you don't know like where you are in the to be fair i don't think it's designed to be done to your allies true so yeah well yeah it's actually never intended for use and that's not in any way something conceived by the creators of that spell i don't think i think it's safe to say that no one has ever

done it in the history of the game to an ally i think you might be the first maybe first right in let us know if it's ever happened in your game if you've ever heard of a news story if that happened i would change every rule to make this game enjoyable. I don't really understand the spirit of that sentence. It says the man infused with joy from Christmas, who also has a licensing deal with the publisher of this game. Show me a Christmas themed adventure and perhaps my heart will grow three sizes. No, you'd hate it. Just like the Christmas theme Peloton rides.

Don't lie to yourself.'s true there is that would drive me insane i couldn't i couldn't sit still for that in the the worst the worst you know you can stop a ride and choose a new one no i can't that you just like asked me to stop you know it's you can turn the music off you can also turn you can turn the instructor off too yeah i did that i wish there was a way to just turn the instructor off and listen to the music but they don't let you do that there is no you can do you can do less instructor i do that i do that for everyone you can still hear them i can still hear them you can just she did another one where it's like that pentatonic song i hate acapella by the way at the end she's just like raises her fist with her eyes

everybody stand up oh no this is about an old man's orgasm this song it's true nothing says christmas like an old man's orgasm, this song. It's true. Nothing says Christmas like an old man's orgasm. Ho, ho, ho. The creatures are dead. You have before you one door leading to an outside plaza that turns to perhaps another section of the castle, and then another set of double doors leading.

All you know, all you can can hear is perhaps somewhere else outside connected to that uh plaza you don't know and then stairs going up from the room with the pool what do you do rest yes rest. Yes. Sheriff, are you okay? I'm a little worse for wear, to be honest with you, sir. Well, I could, uh... I could use a little rest. As am I. I have sought out Iomidae's aid,

and I am too weak to even complete the prayers. I must get some rest, I'm afraid. Where are we resting? I'm very badly hurt. Can we return to a safe place? I'm a bit hurt, but I feel quite well rested. Oh, yes. How was the maze?

I don't know what happened. Was that you? That was me. Oh, my. Saving your life. Yeah, I felt like I was gone for hours, just wandering about in this, like, sort of maze. You were only gone for about 18 to 24 seconds. What?

Or? You're having a laugh. Pull the other one. You're having a laugh. Question for you. I've never been there. What was it like? I don't know.

I felt like if I were a Minotaur, say, I would have had an easier time of it. But it was quite relaxing. I went there and it's sort of weird. You know, I'm not a poet. You know, should have sent a poet if we'd had one. But I showed up there and was like, oh, what's this? So I just sat down and had a little quick,

well, a leisurely drink off of the potion. And I was like, well, I don't know where I am. Can't seem to get away. There's a lot of walls. Yeah, I don't know. Strange. I honestly feel like I've been gone for hours. He's saying 18 seconds.

I was surprised when I came back and you're still, like, engaged with that thing. Well, Baron and Sir Will were very ineffective. Yes, Nestor, it was... I don't mean... I don't want to say it, but... I won't say it. I won't say it. But I'm glad I came back And you should be as well I am indeed

I thought you had left Though it was only 18 seconds here It still felt like an eternity Felt like hours for us too The creature was Practically unhittable And yet I was a doddle

You appeared and struck it Well done Nest Nestor. Yeah, no, it was easy. Just... Okay, can we please go to the lower floor? Yes, take my hand. Okay. Where do we...

Isn't that where we rest? We just... We kept going back to Ren... Ren Falls Torture Chamber. Renfall.com. Renfro. Renfro. Brad to ren uh ren falls renfro renfro renfro we also slept once up where we fought the spiders from mars oh yeah you could dimension door us up there if you want to use a dimension door to get back up or down up right that's up at the top of the secret stairwell that's where the two spiders

were but one got away. But then you're using dimension. All right, let's go to the rest. But then you've got to use it in the morning to get back. Right. While we're up there, you can go invisible, fly out to the Johns, and throw them off the John. What? I actually did understand what he meant. You did?

The magical saddles. I could plant the tower and throw the magical saddles away. Off of the edge of the precipice of the castle. You see how long it took to say all of that? And you got exactly what I said in a much shorter amount of time. That's why Philadelphia is historically the most productive city in America. The John is the zip-off. Renowned for its intelligence. Renowned for its intelligence and productivity.

Because of their efficiency and language. The people of Philadelphia. Can't get a restaurant reservation. The linguistic compression mechanism we always needed. You can walk into a restaurant that's open. With, I mean, an unbelievable amount of open tables. Dozens of empty tables. And plenty of staff bustling about, but they won't see you.

But no available tables. I made our dinner reservation a month in advance for Pax Unplugged. Cher. It was Cher that fucked us up. That's right. for Pax Unplugged. Cher. It was Cher that fucked us up. That's right. It always is. It's always fucking Cher. She's in town.

She's in cahoots with Michael Bay. You know it. Yep. We're coming for you too, Cher. Cher and Bay. You're going to be Cher in a cell when we're done with you. Down by the Bay, if you know what I mean. All right.

You know what I thought? I was like, Troy, actually, I bet he regrets that joke. And then I look over and he's laughing at himself. How's life in Skidnaggett lost to pun town? All right. Well, thanks for listening, everybody. What do you do? You go back down to Renfall's chamber?

No, let's go up to the tower, and then I'll... If we can heal me, I'll do it, but right now I have 15 hit points. Yeah, I can... Oh. I can cast spells on you. Oh, we might have a problem. We might have to sleep for two days up there i should have enough healing i mean i can definitely heal you up in the morning but it'll

take half of my healing for the day i mean i could take a cure sir i never did this potion so i could take this potion yeah i have i have three cure seriouses i have uh cure moderate four cure lights uh just at my immediate disposal before scrolls and stuff so i think we'll be fine what's cure serious plus what four three five it's not it's a spell it's five well no well if you're taking the potion if i cast it on you it's plus nine oh you can cast it yes oh all right let's do healing uh off air but we'll see where we're at and if it's something that we really want to do like if we want to continue forth that that day okay all right so if we rest troy if we rest through we can rest through the night right there's no

interruption of the rest is that what you do yes we go to go to the airy and rest through the night. Just as your eyes close, you fall asleep. Yeah, I would imagine. We're exhausted. And then the flight attendant puts her hand on your shoulder. Here's your orange juice, sir. That happened to me recently. Here's your orange juice, sir. That happened to me recently. Here's your orange juice, sir.

Wake up. All right, so we have figured it out, and it will require two channels from Sir Will, a full night's rest, a bunch of heals from Baron. Bunch of heals from Baron. But he burned his spell list. Sir Will, in the morning, had to cast two. So basically, Sir Will has channeled twice on the day already in this current day.

So he couldn't do it until we woke up. But now we're all almost full. I'm almost full, but I'm good to go. And yeah, spells recharged. I just love this idea of the saddles. I'm obsessed with it. Go with Ariel. Fly up to, fly, go ethereal. Fly up to the airy, or wherever that was.

Or invisible, if that's cheaper. It's cheaper, but I don't know that it's going to actually get me in there. So anyway, get up to the saddle room and just toss them out the window. Before you were ethereal, and you went by unquested. So before you were ethereal, I got the sense that they were outside. That they were like on a hook, like outside of a room. I don't think you were in a room I got the sense that they were outside. That they were on a hook outside of a room. I don't think you were in a room. Was he in a room?

It was like a roost tower, a mezzanine. So it was open air. So I could just talk to them. I think you can literally just push them over the edge. But if you're ethereal, you're not going to be able to do that. Well, I pop out of the ethereal plane. Do that. Go back to being ethereal.

Come back. Okay. All right. I do that go back to being ethereal come back okay all right i do that it's wild if you get in trouble yeah sure charge back to this room with all haste and we'll fight them in here whatever happens you go over to that ladder leading up to that room that is, it looks like it's your, there's no walls, right? When you pass through that secret passageway, you're in that womb, womb, you're that room that just, you see open sky all around you, but then on the far edge of the room, there's that staircase going up. So you walk through that very strange room, and you go up the staircase, all on the ethereal plane, and you're making haste,

and you get to the sort of catwalk up there, in the highest reaches of the castle, as far as you can see. And you keep walking along, and you get back to where that is, like a nest. And then you go up the pole and there is on the ledge four hooks with giant saddles but now there's just one saddle remaining.

I'll just take the saddle then. Okay. I'll take it. We'll put it in and I'll bring it back. So you pop in, take it back with you and then hustle back. How many minutes do you think that took? How many minutes of ethereal do you have? A number.

It takes a number plus one. So for the last minute. Now we're doing algebra. You are. Is that what I signed up for? X plus one. It takes X plus one. So for the last minute, you're just, oh, God, they can see me.

No, I would say all told, it probably takes you. And I'm flying i fly and you're flying so that helps and if you're moving with all haste and she knows where it is yeah uh eight minutes okay that's um all right so we have the is this is a magical saddle isn't it no oh it's not no oh okay i thought we had detected magic i thought thought so, too. That's so interesting. I think that he, after we gave our idea, I think. No, you guys have always assumed they were magical. Oh, okay.

And then you kind of Berenstain-bared that into your brain. You know what I mean? Mandela effect. Mandela effect. You get it. All right, well, we put the saddle into the bag of holding In case we ever need to ride a dragon And the saddle rides off into the sky Alright well let's

Definitely not go outside today Yep cause they are Swirling They got some intel From the GM He told them Well you know the thing is that is going to happen. Something is happening here.

Make no mistake. We are being watched. Everything we do is being documented and adjustments are being made. I don't think among these, like, I don't know, recent sign-ons or these, you know, people that are not even really in the immediate council of volstice sure they might not know all about us but when we get up there people are going to know all about us yeah and they're going to have all kinds of defenses to exactly what we do uh i can just i can feel it troy has hinted it multiple times renfall told you as much yeah renfall told us yeah and so i feel like uh the saddles was like they literally know they overheard us talking about it and they they made adjustments

john grab the saddles all right well then let's stick to our original plan of going up the stairs and not going outside at least at first all right so now we zip back through dimension door to the place where we felled the silver surfer and walk up those stairs that's what we're talking about you're very quick to spend other people's bottle caps and other people's spells as well joe well we're in the upper yeah we're up in there there's no way for us to get there this is why i didn't want to go up there. There's stairs. There's a ladder we can climb down and go back through. Oh. There's secret doors

that pop out on every floor. I gotcha. We can pop out on, like we're on the same floor that we fought all of the orcs. We don't have to dimension the orcs.

So you dimension the orcs on the ladder and then disintegrate it? And it's a toilet. It looks like a toilet now, the ladder. So basically we come down the ladder and we come

in the room where we fought the orcs. Yes. That's what you're saying. Yeah, perfect. I forgot about that. Cool. Yes. But you still have to cast, like, Flight on Sir Will, basically. Because he's very thick. It's meant for huge creatures. Let's just Dimension Door, because I'd also have to cast it on Lexington.

No, you don't. Lexington I can summon when we get down there. So stay here and I can just summon. Oh yeah, it'll save more of your dimension door for later in the day. It would save one level of stealth. You can just take the broom, dude. Don't waste flight. Take the broom. Yell at me. Take the broom, Joe. Will you take the broom? I am not the giver of flight. Shut up and take the broom.

Shut up. Okay. I will take the broom. Sir Will Sir Will weeping on the room slowly flies behind everyone i'm gonna have to find the email that grant you sent i think the first day we played when we recorded the first three episodes first four episodes oh no i don't remember i was drinking then matthew yeah it was it was pretty awful what'd i say i asked what happened remember this because i had to oh i do remember this and that the thing is grant barely knew matthew and his response was very very intense like the joke a brother would make to a brother yeah let's see if i can find it please don't

Let's see if I can find it Please don't You died and I made love to your corpse It was great about it I don't need to revisit this stuff It's a long time ago Listen that's water under the bridge So you go back To the room where you fought the

Mithril Golem Is what that creature was Very cool It is a golem made of pure mithril What bestiary is what that creature was. Very cool. Skid is very close with the Mercury Golem. It is a golem made of pure mitra. What bestiary? Or is it an original Giant Slayer monster? Oh, that's interesting.

I don't know. It's out of... I don't think it's original Giant Slayer, at least. Because I've seen it in other things. It is from Bestiary 2. Oh, wow. Classic. Wow, and I've never seen it. Well, it's because I've

never played this high of a level created from a massive quantity of the purest mithril this golem is a thing of shining beauty unlike most golems mithril golems are extremely agile capable of

moving at great speed and striking swiftly mithril golems body is made of 3,000 pounds of mithril and other precious metals. That is so expensive. I was just going to say, do you know how much this thing costs? Can we drag it into the bag of holes?

It's worth 50,000 gold pieces, its remains. Oh, that seems low even. I know, it does seem kind of low. 3,000 pounds of mithril? Yeah, to make it, it's 250,000 gold pieces, but its remains are worth 50,000. I mean, you could outfit... Does it die and just lay there? Yeah.

Holy... We could outfit an entire army of dwarves with Mithril armor. Mithril or weapons or... Yeah. When we take over the world after this, we are going to be so... That is such a wonderful... When we take over the world after this, we are going to be so powerful. That is such a wonderful... That is like having a land war over a disputed island in the South China Sea for the minerals on it,

but instead it's defeating a Mithril Golem to get the raw materials necessary for your war machine. That is a really cool short campaign concept. It's like, you're going to mine this monster. You have to fight the thing you're going to mine this monster yeah you have to fight the you are going to mine yeah very cool what do you do well we must go up these stairs but i'm afraid i could make quite a bit of noise um metra do you think you could sneak up there or nesta take a peek perhaps i could take a peek but you know i, Metro, you've got these magical abilities to not go up there, and I'd just love to watch it. Yes, but I wouldn't want to steal your thunder.

Oh, no, what thunder? What? No. Not from an artist. Surely not. No, no, I'm very humble. I don't do this for the recognition, you have to understand. I do this because I genuinely enjoy experiencing the heights of excellence that people like you are able to show me. So, I mean, why would you deprive me of this sole pleasure that I get anymore? Your flattery will get you everywhere, Lester, but I have no ability to check for traps. What? That we must rely upon you for.

Yeah, fair point. All right, so Lor will do a... And he does have fastest stealth, so he's going to go do a stealth check. Stealth. That is a 35 stealth, and he's going to do a trap check. And that is...

Let's see It's quite high 44 Perception Okay You don't detect any traps And you don't hear anything Sir Will will just stay at the base

Very base of the stairs Ready for a fight if he has to charge up there Messer will stealth his way up the stairs. Let's go to a new map. That's so funny. I'm not gonna read the email that Grant sent, or the one

that came after, which was worse. But then he wrote, JK, we talked to Morninghawk the Smithy and discovered the apprentice who worked on the knife disappeared a few days ago and had only been working there three weeks. Talked to Brenya, she's all messed up. The hope knife that we had was definitely not the one she grew up with.

We let her know he was murdered, but that didn't help a ton to make her feel better. Incredible notes being taken from day one. From the beginning. Day one. Wow. Incredible notes being taken From day one Wow Some things stay the same

She's all messed up Luckily it was the note taking and not the crippling drinking Do you see yourselves on the Slightly revealed Staircase Winding staircase Please arrange yourselves in the order on the slightly revealed staircase, winding staircase. Yes. Please arrange yourselves in the order

in which you are entering the scene. Which way is up? To the right, like to the south. That's up, okay. South right. So the top is towards the south right. Sir Will is planning on staying still until you're at the bottom of the stairs.

Until Nestor calls him up. Until Nestor gives him the sign. Move forward. Barrens, you can just see him hiding behind Mettra's cloak, like looking on either side of her taller body with his pistol as she shifts her weight from one side of the other up the stairs. I'm literally a shadow creature. Why are you hiding behind me?

Because you cast a shadow. You cast a shadow. I am a shadow. Well, exactly. That's why I love you. The shadow knows. All right. Yes, Sir Will is just concerned about clank, clank, clanking on his armor and fouling up Nestor's stealthy opponent. And I'm happy to roll stealth if it is necessary and keep it up, but still be behind Nestor.

All right, so Nestor um give me your new stealth stealth role as you reach the top uh new stealth as my ipad freezes uh that is a 40 40 okay so nestor gets to the top of the stairs. You don't even hear him go up there, but you see him at the top. And Nestor, as you reach the top, you see a very similar room to the room below. You hear water, but unlike the room below, you don't see it all over the floor. So you think there's got to be that pipe probably connects from below to this room.

But taking a peek around the corner you see the room opens up and then turns inward. It's another circular room. You see a basket far away. Hmm. A basket. Bastard in a basket.

This is metagaming, but I'm noticing when I was trying to find us on the map that we are now on the map where we fought the fire giants that we popped out of the secret fireplace entrance. Oh. Ah, I see that. It's the same level. Yeah. It's not metagaming.

Yeah. We know what level we're on. It's an engineering check. Yeah. Tell us as much. Yeah, that's... Or memory. I don't have memory. The really scary part is the clones of us

that are still in the room with the fire giant. Oh! Oh, no. What foul sorcery is this? We cut to that real quickly. Well, we finally dispatched of the fire. I can't believe we're... Time has no meaning in this.

Our party's based on the number of times Troy's copy pasted us, or basically, like, the infinite number of Mortys in the universe. This is a multiverse of me forgetting to delete you. Nestor's at the top of the stairs. He's stealthed up there. Sees a room. It looks like it's going to be kind of similar to what you were in.

What do you guys do? Perception. Your way down the middle of the stairs there, sweetheart. Why don't you just peek into the room there, Nestor. Yeah, Nestor is going to creep along the wall and peek around it to look into the rest of the room. You see a large stone fountain, similar to the one downstairs, sitting in the middle of yet another round room.

This one is furnished with three ornate cupboards, painted with delicate cloud-like patterns, a set of matching chairs, and six huge wicker baskets. you also see as the wall to your south rounds up into the northeast another staircase going up oh wow where um i have hidden it on the map but i'll show you the first beginning of the step northeast just because there's a wall oh i can't see behind but yeah oh that's it that's all he sees yeah so like it is a tower like it's not separated to this floor and do these arrow slits point out into the direction that we haven't walked out to those eastern door on the previous level can we look out well once we step in i guess we'll have to the one to the northeast would point closest in that

direction but you really would need an arrow slip going directly north. So, yeah, you're not sure. You would know if it extends further out, if you can see anything out of the northeast one. Okay. All right. Nestor looks back, hand signals them to come up, saying he doesn't see anything.

Baron will stealth up behind. Thirty-five. Thirty-five. Sir Will will... Up the stairs behind. About ten feet behind Baron. Let's step in. Would you like me to go ahead?

Okay. I'll take that as a yes. No, please. Go ahead. I can see the fear in your eyes. Yeah, I'm terrified. So we'll step up. Come, Lexington.

I have a fear of dogs, you see. We shall fear no evil. I will detect evil. In have a fear of dogs, you see. We shall fear no evil. I will detect evil. In a 60-foot cone, I will wash it around. It will get the first three wicker baskets and the fountain as I waft it around. Okay. How do you know they're made out of wicker? He said it.

Oh, he did? What else is everybody else doing? Metro will stand directly behind Sir Will and do the same thing with the tech magic. Okay. And waft it around. Nestor? Sorry. Nestor is going to hang back and he's basically going to stay there until something happens

because he's most effective right here probably. Right behind the edge of that wall. Right, probably. Right behind the edge of that wall. Right, yeah, right by the edge of the stair wall looking into the room. Baron will cast Longshot on himself and stand shoulder to shoulder with Sir Will. Okay. Maybe I'll do a little mirror image. You feel a combat coming? What, me?

He does seem, strangely, like Troy is preparing his... Somebody detected me. I'm jumping out of the basket. And as I step next, I will join in Sir Will's evil detection with a chaos detection. Metro roll a perception check. That is a 36. That is a fail. However, being able to see invisible helps you to see not one, but two Gugs.

Hiding behind the wicker baskets. Start coming towards the party. Oh, no. Roll for initiative. Yeah, they're always invisible. Roll, wicker, roll, wicker, roll for initiative. Why has my goddess not yet allowed me to see in this ability? Hmm.

So we'll He looks What is it, Metro? What do you see? Cogs Where? Cogs God, that's such a great horror movie Yeah, it is

Cogs Cogs The war on Cogs Baron, what'd you get? A 25 25 What's your bone? Plus 15

Okay, Nestor? 26 26 What's your bone? Plus 15. Okay. Nestor? 26. 26. What's your bone? 12. Sir Will. 15. 15. Metra. 24. Yeah! 24. Oh no.

The Gugs are gonna close. Oh they are? And grapple. Surprise round. You see the gugs get right up in your business. They move towards you. I can reveal them to you, Metra. Well, I'm revealing. I wonder if there's a way I can just show one of you.

That'd be kind of funny. Yeah, there is if you don't use the old school lighting. Oh, yeah. That's dumb. I don't know how old school lighting. Oh, yeah. It's dumb. I don't know how to use that. Metric is stupid. I'm proud you made it this far, but you are like my dad. Why do they got to come up with something new?

I don't want this update. Let me just use the old one. I didn't like the old one. I don't like the new one. But I got used to the old one. That is where they are They're right on top of us Yep

They were behind The basket Just to the south They were kind of like The west Southwest of the fountain And then the Basket to the

Northeast So I detected evil You detected evil And Baron You Did Detect chaos as well Wow

So they're chaotic And they're marching towards you There is evil in this room And can I point out That the Gugzwe And Baron, you did detect chaos as well. Wow. So the chaotic evil. And they're marching towards you. There is evil in this room. And can I point out that the Gugs we fought earlier were kind of like, they felt like they were sealed off from the rest of the castle. Like someone made a mistake getting them here and they were like banished in that room. And these guys are not.

You could just walk up these stairs. Maybe they're loose. They got loose. Remember that one of them went up through the middle of the ceiling. Yeah. Was it last week? Yeah. And so this would be two floors above.

Freddy! Freddy, is that you? You wonder, could the other one have been the one that went in the maze? Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch! Remind him that he cannot take a full attack action when he returns. Round one. bitch! Remind him that he cannot take a full attack action when he returns. Round one. It is Nestor's

turn, but he does not see the Gugs. Yeah, it's this, whoa, whoa, what is it? There, and there. Oh, he's, oh, fuck. And he's gonna hold. Hold. They are emanating a strong evil. Nestor delays on round one.

Dodge yourself, Baron. Baron's turn. Baron is going to, after hearing from Metra that there are Gugs in the room, will cast See Invisibility on himself. Nice. Beautiful. Humong guy. Very good. Huge.

What do you see, Sheriff? I see one Gug there, right in front of the fountain, and one slightly to the east. Got it. Right there, and right there. And, yeah, I'll take a five-foot step back. Five-foot step back. I can handle this, Chef. Metra's turn.

Target these explosions and fire. And she'll do a chain lightning. Actually, you know what? No, I'm not going to do a chain lightning. I'll do scorching rays. Scorching ray. So you get two? I get more than two. You get four? One ray plus one

additional ray for every four levels beyond third for a maximum of three rays at 11th level. So I get four rays. Awesome. First, two on each. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Every morning when I wake up. Scorching ray. It's a great spell. Do we remember from what we learned about the Gugs, did they have any kind of

resistance to fire? You don't remember that. Because they do. Conveniently, you don't remember that they do. No. Give me a little ranged touch. Give me a natural one. you don't remember that they do. No. Give me a low range touch. Give me a natural one. I want to see a nice magic fumble.

All right. This is against the one to the east, which is the right. Ooh, Gug right. That's a 23 against touch. 23 against touch is a hit. Nice. Let me roll the second one against him as well. Same guy? Yeah.

I have four rays. I'm going to do two and two. Okay. That is a 28 against touch. Whoa. Against Gug left. No, that's. I have four rays. I'm going to do two and two. Okay, that is a 28 against touch. Against Gug left? No, that's both against Gug right. Both against Gug right. Alright, so that's going to be 46 for each

ray. I'll roll that right now. 46 for each ray. Okay. That's 92 damage. 45 points of damage from both rays. Gug right. So 90 total?

No, 25. No, I was joking. Skid was joking. Okay, so what's the total damage? 25. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know you have a lot going on.

That's the accounting money. It's like 105, seven. There's not many accountants left. All right,! There's only so many accountants left. All right. What else? Two Rays against Gugla. First Ray. That's a hit with a 27.

Fourth Ray is a natty 18. That'll hit as well. Ray! That was a Ray Charles. Yes. That's 29 points of damage. Ooh! And conveniently conveniently I have pointed with Fiery light

Where the creatures are Indeed and Nestor will take his turn That'll be a 50% missed chance For old Nestor But no time like the present To act Alright he's going to take a 5 foot step And he's going to focus his fire on Gug Right,

the one to the right side of the fountain, the area where he saw the explosions. Try Gug Light. Tastes better. Less filling. Did you see the new Gug Bowl? I was rooting for Gug Dry. All right, I am going to do extra attack. Gug, Gug, Gug, Gug, Gug for Gug Dry. All right. I am going to do extra attack. Gug, Gug, Gug, Gug, Gug, Gug.

I kind of like Gug Right Lime. Gug Right Lime. Gug Right Seltzer. I'm going to do rapid shots. And, yeah, okay. Here we go. Come on. First attack with Old Jota is a 31.

31's a hit. Show me that miss percentoni chance. 50%. That's a miss. Miss with a multi-shot. 11. No! Metro, why wouldn't you?

More specific. Metro, you fool. Second attack. 31. Yupsers. Okay. Another miss on concealment. Oh, wait. I think I have something that...

Can you re-roll that, John Skeet? You have blind fight? Oh, no, that's melee. Yeah. Yeah, what's the range? I think I have something like ranged equivalent. The ranged version is elf only. Oh, okay. All right. I thought I have some ranged equivalent. The ranged version is elf only.

Oh, okay. All right. I thought I had something that helped me with that. It's not blind fight as much as the concealment thing, but... Third attack. Oh, man. Elf Jon Jon. 26 to hit. Okay, give me the conceals.

Another missile. Oh, no! Man, that's like tails three times in a row. 23 to hit. that is a miss final attack uh that's uh yeah 20 another miss oh brutal oh man No, no, sir Norse foundry Thank you Well, Gug Wright appears And casts Unholy Blight Baron and Sir Will Give me a Will save

Spell, spell like ability poison Spell John Okay Which one? Will? Will, yes Poison spell John. Okay. Then make some. Which one will. Well, yes. Twenty eight.

Oh, 35. And then a natural 20 for Lexington. Wow. Okay. An incorruptible wolf. Yes. And you're all uh good characters i don't know what lexington's alignment is but oh dude it's good man he's a celestial wolf and baron you're good right i started my character and it still says on my sheet is lawful neutral

we had a discussion on air a while ago about how like my actions throughout have made me more towards chaotic good than lawful neutral. And I think we all agreed as we talked about that that that makes sense. So have you changed alignments to chaotic good or kind of? I haven't changed it on the sheet. I'll just change it. Did I feel like chaotic good to you guys? Well, no.

Do I feel like lawful neutral? I think you feel like lawful good or neutral good honestly in the old way in the old way it would be annotated like in monster manual by meant says like lawful neutral with like good in parentheses so like trending towards good but still technically lawful neutral yeah that's kind of where i that's kind of where i am yeah that's it i'd say you're still law neutral. Waffle neutral. Okay. Uh, the only,

the only reason it's kind of the, that I liked the chaotic part of it was the inquisitor part of his area to be able to like use the enemy's weapons against them and all those things. Those are things that might not necessarily be done by a lawful character. Yeah. But, but you, you play a lawman. It's true.

You know, it's more of a renegade. You'd be a renegade. Yeah. I wouldn't be lawful., though, I don't think. All right, well, if you're neutral, Sir Will, you're going to take... You and Lexington will take 11 points of damage. And Baron, you'll just take five if you're neutral.

And now it is Sir Will's turn. One of the Gugs is visible. Oh, you've made a terrible mistake. Ah, Sir Will. Chaotic evil is Sir Will's turn. One of the Gugs is visible. Oh, you've made a terrible mistake. Ah, Sir Will. Chaotic evil, Sir Will. Oh, chaotic evil. As if he could possibly hold back to not use all his abilities too early in a day in an encounter that's not going to be that tough.

It's out of my hands. He sees this thing and immediately smites it. Let my lance be drawn to your evil! And he casts Smite Evil on Gug Right Lime, and he charges. You're due, man. You're due. Yo, roll it over. Come on. Okay. Here we go.

You bastard. Oh, my God. It continues, but it's probably going to be a hit. It's a 37 to hit. That's a hit. That was a natural six. And he is going to ride by attack, so charge past the creature and create some distance between him and it. And

that will be 74 points of damage. 74 points of damage. As bright white light shatters through the creature's skin. This is straight to its odds of evil! And it bypasses any and all

DR. Okay. That is pretty rad. It is the other Gug's turn. He appears and does the same thing, Unholy Blight. Nestor, you're evil. This won't affect you. But Baron and Metra roll a will save. Nestor just soaks it in.

Nester, you gain the hit points. It's like Gatorade. You just won the Super Bowl, Gatorade. 30. 30? Natural 20. Okay. Ooh, there you go.

All right, everybody. Calm yourself. This is a really good breakfast fight. 18. All right, so Metra, you take nine points of damage. Baron, you take four. Okay. Nestor, you gain 13. No. So,

yeah, the Gugs have created a Venn diagram of sorts. Oh, you guys can't see what I can see, but they have overlapped to try and create this unholy energy around you, this cloying miasma of unholy energy. You can this cloying miasma of unholy energy. You can feel it in your bones,

and maybe Nestor feels a little rejuvenated by this, unless his heart has grown a few sizes. I don't know. Let's get to round two. It's Baron's turn. Baron's going to swift action enact Bane-gug. Yes. Right on that gun.

Bane-gug! Bane-gug is the way to kill. Here it comes. He's going to start fanning the hammer on his pistol at these guys. First at Gug right. Here comes the first attack. Cracked eye. Oh, boy.

That is going to be a 25 against Touch AC. Yep, that'll gug. Here comes. I haven't done Bane in so long with some of the creatures you're throwing at us. Here comes. Oh, I see the GCP on the six. Nice. That's nasty town.

That's 35 points of damage on the first attack against Gug. Right. Okay. Second attack is coming out now. That one will take some DR. 23 against Touch AC. That is a hit. Nice.

Here comes the damage. I don't have DR. Damn it. I wanted to bypass something. 36 points of damage against Gug Right. And that kills that. Yeah. Gug Right down, baby.

Gug Right down. Gug that kills that. Yeah. Gug Wright down, baby. Gug Wright down. Gug Wright numbs. Yeah. GL numbs. GL numbs. GL numbs. Tough day at work? Grab a GL numbs.

This one says Gug left. Gug left numbs. And reloads his pistol, fans it out from underneath his duster while taking a five-foot step and fires at Gg left. Nice. Let's get up close and deadly against this one, too, to add another 2d6. That's a natty 19! It's a critical crack!

To confirm. Critical crack. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical crack. That's going to be a 17 against Touch AC. 17 against Touch AC.

Yes. Yes. Yes. All right, let's bring it in. Ian from Toronto. Toronto. Sorry, Matthew. Hey.

Ian from Toronto. Love your city. You've been to Toronto? Yes. Oh, you had your bachelor party? Oh, that's right. You're not allowed back, though. We weren't invited.

I didn't know you. That is the most Matthew thing ever, to have your bachelor party in Toronto. At a salon. At a salon. Reading the day's latest journalism or criticism from the Cahiers du Cinema. We just went out drinking, but I had such a terrible cold, I just sat there nursing Canadian whiskey, being like, Can I have another

hot toddy? I need to burn it out of me. Oh, man. I loved that logic, particularly in college, like when you had a bad cold, and you're just like, well, just burn it out with the alcohol. The more I drink, it'll go away. I feel so much better! Like Four hours later.

And then you wake up in the morning and it's like, Oh, that is the worst. Being hung over with the cold is so miserable. Alright, Ian from Toronto. Make it rain, Baron. It doesn't say Baron. Roll

again. Okay. If you hit... Oh, boy. Let's see if I hit before you re-release. Sorry, Troy. Was this a crit? Yeah. That is a hit.

That is higher than my last die roll. Okay. Roll again. Roll again? No. If you hit triple damage... Oh, my God. ...and all players at the table

receive a bottle cap. Oh my god! If you miss double damage. Love you, Ian from Toronto. Thank you, Ian. That's incredible. We really need more

bottle cap gifting in these grids. Does that mean I get one too? Good one, eh? You are... Are you a player? No. That's a distinction. You're the game master. I never get one. It's a distinction. Never! Alright, so quintuple damage. Quintuple damage.

And you all have one bottle cap. Mark it somehow. I don't have it. Oh, wow! Great, we have bottle caps in the kitchen. Alright, here we go. I'm on it! There he wow. Okay. We have bottle caps in the kitchen. All right. Yeah, we do. I'm on it. There he goes. Someone sent us bottle caps. Off like a shot. That is my least favorite crit that we've ever pulled.

That is the best crit. That is a stimulus package for the bottle cap. Yeah, it really is. A little shot. That's all the economy needs is a little shot in the arm. There are no bottle caps. I have a whole bowl of them right here. There's a thing right by the washing machine.

Here, I have a bowl. All right. Is that my bowl? I don't know. It is. That's why I couldn't find my caps. I got a Sir Wilk cap. Oh.

I got a Joe. Yeah, that's the one. Oh, a gift. Just write a date. Take a marker and write a date on the back. A listener gift from Kate's Magnets. Kentucky bottle caps. Nice. Oh, a gift. Just write a date. Take a marker and write a date. A listener gift from Kate's Magnets. Kentucky bottle caps. Nice.

Oh, cool. Just mark them so you don't forget. All right. Sorry. All good. I got a Troy bottle cap. Darren deals out 174 points. He's dead.

Did you quadruple the Bane? Quintuple the Bane? I did. Is the Bane not quintuple? No. I'll take out... Okay, so it's still 110 base. And then I'll just re-roll the left

That's enough It's 110 It explodes in a cloud of bottle caps I rolled really shitty That is literally the most overpowered crit of all time Especially when Baron pulls it because it's against touch AC Phenomenal

Staying in initiative It's Mettra's oh I will roll perception uh 36 nothing on the ethereal plane end invisible nothing

uh it's your game let's see I will I'll take a step into the room I suppose What's your game, Navelli? What's your game? Let's see. I will... I'll write it in procedure. I'll take a step into the room, I suppose. And I will detect magic. Standard action.

Across the room. Basically, I'm five feet away from the edge of the fountain. And I'll detect magic in a 60-foot cone. 60-foot cone from where you are? Yeah. Like right to the edge of the cupboards, basically. Yeah, right to the edge of the cupboards. Pretty much all the wicker baskets are in it.

Actually, they are all in it. So you detect magic as a standard action? Indeed I do. You detect the presence of magical auras. Okay. I tell everyone. Noted. It is Nestor's turn.

Yeah, he hears this, and he's scanning. He's just moving his bow like Legolas and Moria. It's just like, but he's going to hold. Dum-dum, dum-dum, dum-dum, dum-dum, sir will. Could still be evil in this place. But he's gonna hold Doom doom Doom doom Sir Will Could still be evil in this place He steps forward It's okay Lexington Lexington's like shine away

Fear not He moves forward Let me get a gauge on my distance here Real quick Sir Will will move right up to the right up to the fountain and will detect evil it's a standard action uh again 60 foot cone so he basically he's gonna put it not right next to him um but because he's only got one standard action so he can't like waft the whole

room i don't think i don't know how it works but anyway 60 foot cones gonna be pretty damn wide but um 64 cone uh does that go actually no you gotta point it he'll do it right in front of him and and kind of yeah out like this way okay so towards the north part of the room yeah the northern part of the room the cupboards okay you don't detect any evil there's no evil to the north any evil presence i should say um did you move to get there i did round three baron oh got it because nester moved in the order um okay so we still feel like something evil might be coming towards us again, right?

And Baron is going to say, Torag, guide me through this. Guide me to a victory that will shake the very heavens. Cast Protection from Evil on himself and moves up behind Sir Will. Protection from evil. Slides up about 30 feet. Slides up 30 feet, so he's 15 feet to the south of Sir Will. Meanwhile, Metra and Nestor are to the south.

are to the south. At that moment, a couple of things are going to happen. The first thing that happens is a creature appears about ten feet to the left

of Metra and just south of Baron. It is a demonic-looking creature. Oh, no! Those things are bad. Is it a vrock? Is that what it is? It's like a bird-like demon.

Do you smell what the vrock is cooking? Oh, it is! Oh, no. Oh, no. This is a gigantic vulture-like creature. It's a twisted cross between a man and a gigantic vulture covered in a cloud of spores and a trail of feathers. It appears and lets out a shrill screech.

Everybody roll a fortitude save. Oh, goddammit. Oh. Come on, Sir Willamette of Highbury. Trust in me. Grant's got a face. Not good. Got a bit of a face on you.

Is it a spell, spell-like ability, or poison? It is a supernatural ability. Oh no! He gotcha! I rolled a real tweener so I think you probably got me too. I don't like the look on Skid's face either. I have a tweener involved but it might be a

ridiculous grant tweener where it's super high. When you say involved you mean you or Lexington? I think Sir Will is not a tweener. But Lexington might be who wants to go first i will go okay my tweener might be on the high end i think okay 24 okay what about lexington lexington got a 24 that's sir will got a 32 okay uh metra 20 baron 25 oh see i said it was a grant but it's the end of the book i know dude i don't know 25 is fine calm down nester shut up joe 26 okay metra was the only fail oh oh no do you have anything in your hands uh my quick and metamagic rod. Not anymore.

Drop it. Not panicked. Stunned. Oh, no. Petra's stunned. She drops everything held, which includes her quickened metamagic rod. And she is quick and metamagic Ron. See you later, Ron.

Bye. You drop everything held, can't take actions, take a minus two penalty to AC, and lose your dex bonus to AC if you have any. This creature makes that sound. How long? One round. Okay. Then, the basket that's about 20 feet away from Metra. Oh, God.

The lid pops open. No. Oh, no. And slithering. Oh, I thought of snakes when I saw the baskets. The sound of the basket is a naga. Oh, my God. And you're stunned?

Oh, no, no, no. Oh no. Wait a minute, we know about this Naga. Yeah, we do. Unless this is a minion Naga of the greater Naga, but there's a Naga here. Yeah, this is a... In service to Volstus. Lyranthius the spirit Naga.

The Naga is the one that's been keeping an eye on us. Oh, who told us that? In front of the castle dyselky was the creature we fought earlier with the chain from episode 299 uh renfall told us about lyrantus i'm not sure how to pronounce it describe what she looks like can you guys see it she's not on my map anymore she She's got like a diamond back pattern on her scales. It's like crimson and purple. And she's got like red pointy ears, glowing eyes, and like red, long, red flaming hair.

And fangs. And fangs. It's a very, yeah, purple, red motif. Yeah, purple-red motif. From Renfold's description, spirit Nagas that tap into dark powers, the witches of their kind, and despised by their own kind.

They're horrible to look at, body of the snake, torso of a person. They feed off negative death energy from tortured spirits and seek out places of fundamental corruption. They're going right for Nestor. She scothers out, and she looks at you, and she's just bobbing back and forth like a snake

would. And she says, I've been watching you. There you entered Ironcloud Keep. My

eyes have followed you throughout the castle. Strong and mighty you are in spite of your size. But now I

know all of your tricks and I prepared Volstice for you, should you face him before me. But now you enter my chamber. Long has your journey been to get to this moment, but it ends here, because now you will die! And a flood of prismatic colors come out at all of you. And we will see you next time. Oh no, we're all going to be stunned will see you oh my god

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