The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 31 - A River Puns Through It

Episode Date: December 29, 2015

Avast ye mateys! The party sets sail aboard the Chelish Devil. Their destination? Adventure! Will these landlubbers take to boating like a duck to water or will they go overboard when they smell something...fishy? For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast... Now does the Wolverine have a name? I cannot wait to hear this. It's time to set sail. Take me to the river, so I can fuck dry up tonight. Alright, alright, so you know what your jobs are, now let me give you a tour. A three a tour. A three-hour tour. And tensions among the crew could lead to violence.

You don't want to mess with this crew, trust me. If we could all just be friendly here, we won't have to throw anyone overboard. Kind of puts his hand towards his side until I grab at his dagger. I wouldn't do that, friend. He goes to grab and pulls it out. The adventure continues now. What is up, Glass Cannon Nation? It's your old buddy Troy, spinning today's hottest DM beats on the ones and twos.

Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, or a merry whatever the hell you celebrate. Perhaps you worship Desna, the Great Dreamer, in which case I hope you enjoyed the Ritual of Stardust, which followers of Desna celebrate. I don't know how accurate our analytics are, but it looks like we acquired a bunch of new subscribers over the past few weeks. If so, thanks for tuning in, all you wacky new people. And all of our early adopters, thanks for sticking with us for the past 30 episodes. I can't believe we're already in book two. I just love starting a new book. Obviously,

I know what the story is already, and I love it. I mean, I should say, I know what the skeleton of the story is, but I'm excited to see how this ragtag group of weirdos will change the story with the actions they take, and also by my reactions to what they do in the moment as well. So I have an idea of where it's going to go, but I really don't have any idea because I never know what they're going to do. I hope all of you have a happy, healthy, and safe New Year. In the meantime, raise a glass to a new episode.

Episode 31, A River Puns Through It. Well, we've all seen what a good father Lork is. So let's give him a pet. I'm sure that the shelf life of this pet is 24 hours. It's a chance for redemption. Yeah, you got a Wolverine, buddy. Yeah. I'm excited.

This is pretty cool. Now, this is a Ranger class feature, the Hunter's Bond, right? Yeah, we were a little deceptive when we were doing the fourth level things. You were like, don't mention the animal companion, because I want to bring it in the story at some point. You'll get it. I'll let you know when it comes up. Right, and you didn't know how you were going to find it.

No, no. I said, tell me what you want, and I'll see if I can work it into the story. And I liked the moment. I thought it was good. That's cool. And now it's just sitting there in front of you on the deck. You've got a Wolverine. Now, does the Wolverine have a name?

I cannot wait to hear this. I hate to put you on the spot. Well, this time I had time to prepare my shitty name. It's Benverine the Wolverine. Ben for short. the Wolverine. Ben, for short. Okay, great. So it's not only not very creative, it also breaks fiction. Yes, exactly.

So that's great. It completely breaks down the fantasy. We could do a production of Pippin on board the boats. Joe, did Lork sleep with Tom Exposition? Is that why he's breaking the fourth wall like that? He's learned a lot from Tom Exposition. Ben Vereen, I remember him. He was on Webster.

He was a recurring character on Webster as a kid. He played Webster's uncle. He also played Arnold, and on different strokes, he played the father. Oh. Yeah. The father who abandoned his children to live with a rich

Upper west side millionaire I think it's only fair That we cast Ben Vereen In the role Of the voice Of the Wolverine Okay Well in

Like if it's a Disney movie In In The Shelley Duvall Fairytale theater Yes Ben Vereen played I think he played

Puss in Boots didn't he Oh yeah I think you're right Wasn't that on Showtime Like yeah 20 years ago Yeah They were on Showtime? Like 20 years ago? Yeah, they were on Showtime. That's Courtney. That's my girlfriend's favorite show.

I used to love them when I was a kid. Yeah, they're great. Amazing casts they got in those shows. Jeff Goldblum as the wolf in Three Little Pigs. Robin Williams as the frog prince. That's true. Hey, if you watch that garbage, call in. Yeah, it's at least as bad as Jurassic Park, so don't bother. Let us know.

The hatred in Skid's voice was crazy. So you guys are now on a boat. You're on a keelboat. You took this 18-mile journey from Trunau. You walked throughout the better part of the day and you arrived here at evening and you met

Rag Blood Dusk And he introduced you to Halrex The full orc That was pretty surprising There's an actual orc on board A female orc who's part of the crew She was a little abrasive towards you And what's her role?

She is the cockswain You just wanted him to say it again Now Matthew informed me pre-show that you could also say Coxen. But I prefer Cox Swayne. Really nailing the Cox. Hitting the Cox hard. And the Swayne is important.

You can't have a Cox without a Swayne. I think Coxen is the more generally accepted pronunciation also. From my reading. But go ahead. Do whatever you want. Well, that's no fun. No, okay.

Coxswain. Coxswain. You're the DM. It could be a completely different word. Does Galabros speak Ork? Because they call him Coxswain. Okay, well, there you go. Justified.

That answers everything. I think if Galabros puts a point in linguistics, he can change it to Coxen and maybe teach them, learn them a thing or two. But they're just ex-gladiators. Vermin. And then you also met the crew. You met Gosnok, the cook, who Galabros is

going to be working with, at least until he gets thrown out of the kitchen for probably doing a shitty job. Well, this is a half-orc. The whole rest of the crew, there's eight half-orcs running around. Well, Galabras, do you plan on introducing any new cuisine into what might be kind of a

brusque, hearty, rustic feel of these half-orcs? Yeah, don't get too far ahead of me there, buddy. It's not a Philip K. Dick fact. It's tonight's menu. I've done some thinking about it, and I've justified

Galabras' ability and desire to cook by his backstories. When we get to that, I will bring that up. Oh, I'm excited. I kind of want to just skip everything and go right to that. But we'll put a pin in it. We'll put a pin in it. And then Lork and Baron have agreed to at least start out as fishermen, and then Gormley, to quote Gormley,

I'll look out for you, is going to be the lookout. And now it's all kind of understood. Those who are able will also need to take shifts rowing because they pretty much, the boat's going to go 10 hours a day and five of the, there's like... How many rowers are currently on the boat's going to go 10 hours a day, and five of the, there's like. How many rowers are currently on the boat? Well, the eight crew members, they use whoever, like they would normally have probably four to six of them do that, and then the other two to four of them would do other jobs.

So like the cook takes rowing shifts? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. It's, like you said, there's no free passage here. It is here to work. Are we sailing against the currents in the direction we're going, or are we going with the current?

You are going with the current. With the flow of the river. You're going downstream, I believe. Yeah, downstream. But then we get to the confluence, right? And then at the confluence, when it turns into the river, Then we have to go upstream. It's rough waters.

You go upstream, and that's why you have to use the draft horses. Ah, okay. All right. So Rag says, all right, all right. So you know what your jobs are. Now let me give you a tour, a three-hour tour. Troy, you've been waiting to pull that out for the entire time we've been doing this podcast. Actually, I just came up with that on the spot.

I'd like to hear a tale, a tale of this fateful. So your DM laid out a map for you. I'm going to explain it. Wait, wait. This is a boat, but we haven't learned what this boat's name is. Yeah, what's the name of the boat? What? The name of the boat?

I call it the Chellish Devil. That's a good name. That's nice. You like that? That's a good name. Yeah. Well, there's a story behind it, but I don't like asking too many questions. I mean, I don't like answering questions.

Okay. It's been a long day, and I'm not used to meeting new people. So we should hold our questions till the end. Please do, please. There'll be time for questions at the end of the tour. Now, do any of you have small children? He looks at Lork.

Sorry, too soon. Oh, speak. No, you keep that wolverine in check. How did you get that up on board, by the way? I don't know. I just said come, and it came. It seems to be just kind of staying near me. So you, like, walk to the left, walk to the right?

Yeah, and it's just kind of, like, on my heels. I, like, pet it a little little bit and it doesn't bite me and maul me to death. So I'm like, oh. Well, if you're going to bring that on board, that's your responsibility. And if it becomes a problem, you understand what we have to do.

Of course, I'll look after it. You're a good man, it seems. So here's the boat. You're standing in front of you. There is a galley hatch that leads down into the rowing stations. That's where Halrix runs. That's Halrix's court down there. And the ceilings are only five

feet high, so the dwarf will have no problem walking around, but the rest of you are going to have to squeeze. And you'll probably know that affects both your AC and your attack rolls. But I don't have to tell you that. Are you familiar with a gentleman named Tom Exposition? Or was he ever very...

Almost from. Yeah. You guys have a similar way of... Never met him. They sound cool. Now over here is the stables, and he points over to the stables, and you see,

you would say at first glance, you probably see eight horses, but you haven't gone to explore them yet, but you see eight horses in the stables. Stables with aft? Yes, they're aft of where you're standing. Now listen, there are some stairs here that lead up, excuse me, there's some stairs here that lead down to the cargo hold,

and when you get into the cargo hold, that's where we keep all of our food supplies and whatnot, and then there's double doors that will lead you down into the rowing stations from there. Up to the forecastle, towards the bow of the boat, there's a tower. The tower, on the first floor of the tower is the galley. That's where you'll be working, Calabrus, with

Gaznak. And then upstairs from the galley is the quarters. You'll be sleeping in there. Now, the quarters can probably only sleep about 12 people, and 12 people tight. Sleeps maybe eight comfortably, 10 cramped, and 12 tight. But we can swing some hammocks underneath the stairs in the galley

and find a way. But just to let you know, it's not going to be a comfortable journey. This isn't a carnival cruise, boys and girl. But that's going gonna be a comfortable journey. This isn't a carnival cruise, boys and girl. But that's gonna be your room. Towards the stern here, there are stairs that lead up. This is where I steer the ship. There's also a ballista up there. Don't worry about it.

Now, there's a pair of double doors here. What's the opposite of aft? Four. Four of where we're standing. Before these stairs leading up to the stern, there's a set of double doors. That leads to the chart room, and then beyond that to my quarters.

You have no business in there unless I tell you, so don't worry about that too much. Are we clear? Clear. On the other side of the... Is there room enough for another person or two people to sleep in your... If it gets too cramped in other parts of the Is there room enough for another person Or two people to sleep in your If it gets too cramped

In other parts of the boat Would it be alright if For example I Slept alongside you In your So hold questions till the end you say Well No that's a good

That's a fine question If you find that it's a little cramped up there I'm sure I can find it in my heart to allow your female friend to sleep in my quarters. Head to toe, mind you. And where do I put my green-stinged scorpion? Well, I hate to get into foreplay this early, but we'll figure it out.

Where am I going to put my green-stinged scorpion is the question, huh? That's what I call my penis. Oh, dear. My orc penis. Where am I going to put my green sting scorpion is the question, huh? That's what I call my penis. Oh dear. My orc penis. All right, back to the tour. It's that small. On the other side of the boat is a jolly boat,

you know, in case we need to get to shore for any reason. But that's pretty much it. Do you have any questions? Make them relevant. What sort of dangers do you expect we'll face here on the river? We heard about some dangerous river denizens, and I'm curious as to anything you might have come across. Wild creatures, that type of thing.

The biggest problem with these oversized river vultures that come flying around. You probably know them, these, what do they call them, river drakes. They're kind of a pain in the dick. A pain in the green stink scorpion. But, you know, we're a good crew and we can protect ourselves. That's why we have to have a lookout. So I appreciate you, fine young lady, offering your services to keep an eye out for them. But beyond that, you know, don't go jumping in the river for a swim, you Nancy boys.

This isn't a pool. There's creatures in there that could rip you in half. For example? Sharks. River sharks? Freshwater sharks? This is a fantasy world. Of course there's sharks.

It's like cheating. Someone could summon a shark. I don't know. Dolphins, maybe. Yeah, dolphins, definitely. I'd look forward to one in the future, one in particular. Oh, dear.

Yeah, so this isn't an easy cruise. There could be things, but I go up and down these rivers all the time. I just made this trip the other day, pretty much the same trip, and we were unmolested the entire time. All the way up the river Esk as well? Yes, yes, yes, yes. No, not all the way to Red Lake Fort.

By the way, I said Red Lake Fork. All last episode, it's Red Lake Fort. I was drinking. It's a fort. Why would it be a fork? Why would you be going to a fork was drinking. It's a fort. Why would it be a fork? Why would you be going to a fork? You're going to a fort. Well, we've passed through a fork to get to the fort.

Fair enough. So we'll be passing into Lastwall, correct? We'll be right near the border of Lastwall as we get to the confluence of the Kestrel and the Esk. That'll be to our south. So are there any settlements or anything that we'll be able to stop at along the way? No, there'll be some castles along the way. You'll see there's an outpost just after the confluence that are run by the Knights of Ozem.

Are you familiar with them? I am, yes. Yes. They were among the groups of people that put an end to the reign of the Whispering Tyrant. Yes, yes. You know your history. I do, yes. You know your knowledge history, clearly.

Yes, I invested many, many points in it. Good, good. I have to say, I'm... You'll need them for the journey ahead. I'm curious. I've always wanted to see Last Wall, so I'm very excited about that. Right, well, this isn't a carnival cruise.

Like I said, we're not going to take a three-day journey where you can go and buy things from tourist shops. No, I just... You might be able to see the fangwood from the boat. That's about it. That would be lovely. That's all I want. I don't want to go shopping. I just want to see. No pictures. No, no pictures. Sorry. I've put my sketchbook

away. I get a little gruff when I meet new people. But yeah, we'll stop at the Castle Farine, hopefully, and do some trading along the way. I have some trade goods below deck. But don't worry about that. The Knights of Ozem have always been friendly to us. And the orcs don't bother me.

As you can see, one of them is my crew. I've got a question, and it might seem a little strange, as if maybe I've got terrible perception, but are we moving currently, but are we moving currently? Or are we docked? That's an excellent question. I feel like this is something you should have asked me before we started recording. We're docked, you fool.

That's what I thought, you know, but I just wanted to double check. So anchored. Yes, we are currently anchored. Oh, good. We anchor at night and we shove off in the morning. Every night we'll row for ten hours barring any unforeseen circumstances and then we'll anchor at night

and pick up in the morning. Excellent. Right now we are currently moored. I don't know nautical terms. Seems strange for a captain. Yes. Do you go by Captain?

No, I go, yes. Should we call you Captain? Yes, you should call me Captain Rag Bloodtusk. You can call me Captain Rag or Captain Bloodtusk. Right, okay. Or CB, if you like. CB. You can't call me CB.

I'm just kidding. Oh, thank you. Are there any things that are off limits on this boat? Any type of behavior that we landlubbers might not be aware of that you seafaring folk just can't abide? Well, let me put it this way. If you're in a place on this boat where you feel like you shouldn't be, then you shouldn't be there.

Like your quarters, unless you're Gormley, and it's real cramped in that other room and you're head to toe. I will say that you three boys have no reason to be in my quarters ever. Okay. And then he just kind of looks at Gormley and kind of cocks his head. I'd like to know what time Baron has to clean the stables. I thought he was helping you out with fishing. But 10 a.m.

Hey, Captain. Yes? Where'd you get that scimitar? I've collected many valuable weapons along my journeys. Would you like to see it? Sure. And he kind of whips it out and flips it around in his hand and does like a little flourish.

Looks pretty badass, trying to show off. A little dervish. You're overselling it, but that's nice. It's hard to impress Well, thank you Well, let's go Let's get underway, I say Alright, well, you're welcome to scurry about on deck tonight

I'll be turning in pretty early You know where your quarters are You can meet the rest of the crew when you're ready to turn in. Like I said, it's not going to be comfortable, but you'll make do. And I'll see you in the morning for jobs. Aye, aye. Good night. Good night.

Thank you, CB. Night, night. And he kind of walks through the doors where he said this is the chart room uh that leads to his quarters he walks through those double doors shuts them behind him and then you don't see him uh i was just gonna say that lork is gonna spend a little time with the wolverine just kind of like he's a little freaked out obviously so he's kind of moving and like it's following him and then he'll like say stuff to it it seems confused and he moves and it follows him and then it kind of snaps at him for a second he's like ah you know just he's kind of feeling it out he's pretty fascinated with this thing right now

now is he going to take the wolverine into the quarter the tight quarters where all the orcs are i think i think i think the wolverine's pretty much i mean lork thinks at this point point that the Wolverine is going to go in there and just sleep with him. But I think, personally, that the Wolverine is going to do whatever the Wolverine wants to do. You know what I mean? I think it's going to be a little tough, but Lork is like, Oh, yeah, sure. He'll just sleep under the cot there with me. He's tiny. He'll fit. So Lork's pretty optimistic about this wild animal.

Right. He's like a kid that brought home a squirrel. So Lork's pretty optimistic about this wild animal. Right. He's like a kid that brought home a squirrel. And it's like, I'm going to make it my pet. I think we should all bear in mind how terrifying wolverines are throughout all of this. We should not lose sight of the fact that they're really fucking horrible animals. Troy brought up a good point, which is they're very tight quarters. And when someone gets in the back of my car and I'm driving somewhere,

they're like, I'm just going to pop open a beer. That's cool. Like, no, that's a huge red flag. That's what I would be if I were in these sleeping quarters. You're like, I'm just going to bring a Wolverine in here. I'm going to bring my Wolverine in here. Don't worry, everybody. He's tame.

He's tame as of three hours ago. Well, if you don't like it, I'll take one of those hammocks in the hallway. Fine by me. All right, so Lork is kind of dealing with Benverine. And the rest of you are on the main deck. And after you is the stables. Beyond that, the forecastle with the tower

that has the galley and your sleeping quarters. And then behind you is the, you know, what leads to the pilot deck and the doors that Bloodtusk went into. Is there anything, and also there's a hatch that leads downstairs into the rowing quarters. So there's only, there's the above decks, and then there's a hatch that leads downstairs into the rowing quarters. So there's only, there's the above decks and then there's one level below decks. Is that true?

As far as you know, yeah. As far as, okay. Well, the galley is kind of like a half level above the rowing. Well, yeah, that's the stuff in the castles. The forecastle and the pilot deck are slightly up. But you would say from just retroactively looking from the shore, there's a 10-foot draft. Okay. All right.

Well, I decided that Galabros, when he was kind of having his crisis, life crisis, deciding what to do with himself, life crisis, deciding what to do with himself. When he wanted to join the Church of Desna and abandon his insanely wealthy mercantile family, one of his assignments that the church gave him was in a soup kitchen caring for refugees. So he got to experience a little bit of, he got to cook a little bit. And it was the first manual labor he'd ever been asked to do in his entire life.

He was very bad at it, but he was incredibly excited to do something with his hands. And he's very, very excited now. And this all happened before the fall. Yes, this is all before he got on the ship and came up to Lance of the Liner of Kings, like everything. So this is like a way for him to kind of reconnect with his old self. Yes. Oh, that's cool. And yeah, so hopefully they'll have a good catch for you guys to work with.

I hope so. I never worked with fish. Don't tell them that. I look forward to trying, though. I'm very eager to learn. You hear the horses to your right. What's

Everd B. Alts doing? Baron has two things on his mind. He turns to Gormley, who he has, in the last episode expressed a newfound respect and kind of

concern for that you might have thought up until this point he thought she was just a psychopath, but he turns to her and says, I'm glad you're coming with us. Why? That's a fair question.

Because I like to bring people with me that have a fight in them when we're fighting. Oh, I've got a fight you haven't even seen yet. I'm excited to see it, and that is not flirtatious. I'm just in the interest of battlefield prowess. I just want to see it. And that is not flirtatious. I'm just in interest of battlefield prowess. I just want to keep it in the right lane. You seem to be a little you're troubled with words right now. Well, the reason why, and I'm going to whisper now. I just want to let you know that

if it gets crowded in there and you sleep in Captain CB's room and you're head to toe, your genitals are still on. I just want to let you know that even if he's head to toe and you don't kiss, the dirty parts don't touch. Let me give you a word of advice, Baron. Okay, I'm just trying to look out for you. People who try to pimp me out generally don't end well. You're talking about blood? I'm just trying to look out for you. People who try to pimp me out

generally don't end well. You're talking about blood? I'm not trying to do that. I'm just trying to give you a word of warning. And Howie skitters out on top of her head and says, and Gorma says, thanks. Feels like everyone hasn't been

with a member of the opposite sex in a while. Like Galabras is the only one that's got laid. I know. And it was a fucking stork. So with that, I think Baron just basically feels like a fucking greenhorn again on this boat. Because dwarves just recently came from underneath the surface of the earth to live on the earth and now they're in a fucking boat um he is um taken aback by the ballista and he just wants to do a quick knowledge engineering check to see how it works and

what kind of damage it could do is that something he could do sure absolutely roll uh knowledge engineering so you climb up to the pilot deck and you see the tiller, I guess? What the captain would use to steer the boat. And then you see this giant ballista. So he's just interested in all things weaponry and mechanical. So he rolled an

18. 18, okay. So you look at it and you feel like it would take about three people to operate and it moves 360 degrees around it would probably take two people to aim and one person to fire

and it's a heavy ballista so it's going to do a ton of damage if it hits. And it seems like it's designed to do battle with other ships or huge monsters or... It can do, well with the 360 design it could be used to shot uh it can do well with the three with the 360 design it could be used to shot you can shoot it in the water you can kind of direct it uh you know into the water or you can direct it at pirates oh is is there anything that i don't know if i need to do

a perception check but is there any type of like chain for like a harpoon to like catch like a whale or anything like that you don't see anything like that. Just arrows like a normal ballista? It's a keelboat. It's mainly being used on river. They're not trying to take... Very few whales in the river. But, you know. Even in this fantasy setting.

Even with all the sharks, you'd chase them off. But you would think it would probably... How could they live in the river with all these sharks in there That's so funny He saw these shark infested rivers They do have river dolphins in China And they're terrifying

And in South America Gormley flew into the air And shot fire out of her hands To a giant But sharks can't live in rivers. But I know witches can do that. Witches can do that. Sharks can do that.

Just imagine a bunch of teenagers in snow tubes with, like, bud cans. Just like, oh, just a day on the river. And they're just, like, mauled by a school of sharks. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God! Just tubing down a lazy river. Smoking a little weed. Hanging out.

Six dorsal fins popping out of the water. You've got to close the banks. But it's midsummer. You've got to close the banks. The banks of the river, you've got to close them. No more canoeing. Tie up the kayaks. Baron, you do see that the

artillery that they would use in the ballista would do tons of damage. You would eyeball it at around 4d8. And that still wouldn't kill Lork. If you were all 4d8. That sounds like about eight damage. Luck of the Orcish. Luck of the Orcish.

So what would it take in game terms? What kind of skill would it take to fire it? Would it just be a regular range attack? A strength check? Anyone could fire it. All three people have to take four round actions to load the ballista, and that takes one round. And then on the following round, two of the crew can aim the ballista

while the third fires it, and that's also a four-round action. So it takes three people, two four-round actions. And is the two-hit of the ballista already set? No, it's your range attack. Oh, so it's based on the shooter. Yeah, it's based on the shooter. Now, the orcs would normally man that. The half orcs, excuse me.

They would go up there. But if something goes down and you guys want to run up there, you could be like, I'm good at this. And you can take over. So what Baron's going on in his head is he knows that he is the range specialist. And that's his thing. And also Lork is too. So we could have a discussion about it.

I'm not too proud, but he's already mapping out in his head schematics to use this with the help of the three people he's with and just working out all the intricacies of how best to aim, load, and shoot this ballista. And you know it's a big deal. It's something that's slow-moving, and it would take a lot of time to make happen, but if you could ever make it happen, it has the potential to do a lot of damage. And you also see a couple nearby crates

that have 10 of these ballista bolts, and then there's a barrel containing javelins and long spears that are sort of lashed to the rail, and they probably use that for sounding as well as to have weapons on deck. Can Gormley go check out the stables? Sure. Yeah, absolutely.

So you walk over to the stables, and... Are they open, or do I have to peek into a window? Yeah, it's a completely open stable, and it takes up a pretty large section of the main deck, four of the mass, and there are eight stalls all lined with matted hay. You walk in and you see eight heavy horses that you know are deployed on shore to pull the riverboat

upstream when you guys reach the esk. Roll a perception check. It's a 21. 21. Seven of the horses look like pretty normal horses, but one of them looks particularly special, but like different from the other seven. Like stronger?

Shadow facts. There's something quite, it just stands out. But I don't know if you know enough about horses to know. Do a knowledge nature on it? Yeah, you can totally do a knowledge nature. Even. 23. 23. Yes, this is an old combat trainedtrained warhorse. Oh, interesting.

What's the name on its collar? Reginald. Reggie. Reggie. Old Reg. It says Reginald on the collar Yeah so it's like these seven Pretty normal docile horses

And then you see this one that stands out And you go over and kind of Look at it and You realize this is like an old Badass combat trained war horse So it could be ridden Yeah absolutely And as you walk over to it

It like nuzzles its nose into your bosom. Into your ample bosom. Comes on to you. Gormley gives it a nice rub down on its nose, not with her bosoms. Not with her bosoms. It's like very affectionate towards you. Which is, you know, this is the most badass looking horse. bosoms. It's like very affectionate towards you. Which is the most badass looking horse

but it notices your gentle nature with it and it kind of bonds with you. You tell your friends about this? Yeah. Are there like carrots around? An apple? Can I give it a little snack?

Yeah, you see like half an onion and, uh, I grabbed the half an onion and I feed it to Reginald. Eats it and nuzzles again. Like I said, it's a beautiful horse too. Like it's,

it's, it seems you can tell that it's seen a couple of battles, but, uh, you know, it hasn't been put down. I come check it out when she tells me. Hey, guys.

I'm trying to find some way to work, and I've got to see a man about a horse, but it's just not coming. Come see this horse, guys! So, yeah, I come check it out. It says, oh, my God, that is a lovely, lovely, lovely horse. Reminds me of my father's stallions. Beautiful. Do you, Galabras?

Oh, yes Yes, I love to ride You have a skill point in ride? I do I do, one might assume I ask Galabras and Gormley How do you reckon a fine horse like this Gets stuck just pulling a boat up and down a river?

He's utterly wasted here. Yeah, you'd think he'd be better used on the open range. Yes. It's a beautiful animal. Wow. They don't know what they have, I don't think. Yeah, you get that sense. It's a shame.

Like, why is this horse on the boat? Well, it's not a draft horse, right? No, no. Clearly not. Yeah. well it's not a draft horse right no no clearly not and you would think like oh so they built this boat from the scavenged wrecks of other boats so everything on board is like scavenged wrecks

so they've got these shitty seven shitty horses and then they came upon this special horse maybe it was from the wreck of another horse that's pretty fucking funny. I enjoy that. So what do you think? You guys want to turn in for the night?

You want to go check out your quarters? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Let's check out our... All right, so you walk up some stairs to the forecastle. There's some doors leading to the galley. You guys go in? Yeah, definitely check out the galley.

Okay, so you walk into the galley, and you see a pretty well-stocked kitchen in the base of the bow tower. And there's a table in the room that can probably seat about six people. And then there are stairs leading up, and you see two hammocks. Like, they're switchback, or not switchback stairs, but they go up, and then they are stairs leading up. And you see two hammocks. Like they're switchback or not switchback stairs, but they go up and then they

turn and go up again. And there's a hammock under each turn. Okay. Leading upstairs. Okay. Into the crew cabin. And Gosnok, the cook, is passed out in one of the hammocks. He's like...

Just kind of... He's like, just kind of. He's a half-orc as well, right? Yeah, he's a half-orc. Okay. He's the one. Does little Ben follow me into the room? Yep, so you kind of walk in and then just. Does he seem cagey?

Or does he seem pretty calm? He walks right over to the food and starts gnawing on like a bag of potatoes. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Please, look. He continues. Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Please, look. He continues. Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben. Benvereen?

No. You come here right now. No. I call him back to me. No. He kind of looks at you, looks at the potatoes, looks at you,

looks at the potatoes. Comes over to you and sits. All right, cool. Wolverines love potatoes. Good boy. That is good boy. It's a well-known fact. I just see it gnawing on this little leg.

Yeah, they are. Burlap sack of potatoes. Normally they graze. Normally they just eat hay. If they get their jaws around a good potato, they'll go to town. I bet Reginald and Ben Vereen could be great friends in the fields. I'm going to go over to the sack of potatoes And just go in the top Not in the little rip he made in the side

And pull out a potato And feed it to him Like from my hand Oh my god Okay Already stealing food from the galley That is kind of fucked up Well they gotta pay us

Typical Irish guys I also really like That's Joe's I'm playing a character skit going straight to potato. Shocker. Okay, so you steal a potato and give it to the wild animal. But you know, it's like a bonding

moment between you and Ben Vereen. One of the phrases I really didn't think you would hear when we started the podcast. You know, a friend of mine actually did sing backup for Ben Vereen at a couple of concerts he was giving. Really? Yeah. Did he have any bonding moments?

They did. They had some bonding moments. Did your friend feed him A potato by the stage It's good for the vocal cords Ben Ben stay out of that sack Ben I'll just I'll just feed you a potato He went right for the potatoes Every time

It's in his rider He has to have a sack of potatoes In the corner of his dressing room Can we interest you In some green M&M's? Nope. Potatoes only. He gets real ornery if he doesn't get his potatoes.

A sack of uncooked potatoes. So while you're feeding this stolen potato to the Wolverine, you hear like a ruckus upstairs. It just voices like... Up the stairs. I want to head upstairs and check it out. It's not like shouting.

It's not like, oh, danger. It's like people are laughing and interacting. Roughhousing? You can't quite tell. Gambling? Alright, we'll go up. Who's leading the charge? Follow me, bro. Alright, so Ben and I. Yeah.

We'll lead the way. I'm following Ben so I can give him a bit of luck if I need to. A Ben of luck. A Ben of luck. Oh, man. Yeah, so you walk give him a Ben of bit of luck if I need to. A Ben of luck. A Ben of luck. Oh, man. Yeah, so you walk up the stairs, and you see half a dozen or so half orcs like playing some game.

I knew it. And just kind of like, you see silver pieces and copper pieces being thrown around, and they're all just like. And I mean, obviously, Lork, you're a half-orc, and these are half-orcs. These aren't full orcs, but they're, like, low, low-class half-orcs.

You know what I mean? Oh, I know this type. These are like townies. You know what I mean? So they're... It's like eastern Massachusetts. We said there was a lot of tubing. Yeah. So... Fucking townies.

Galabras is like, oh, throwing the bones, eh, boys? And they all stop like a DJ scratched a record. And look at you. Seven half-orcs. Yes. Box cars, et cetera. Say something. Say something better. Hello. Hello cars, etc. Say something. Say something better.

Hello. I'm Galabras. These are the other people in the group. Lorc and everyone else. Baron has a question, I think. Baron does a knowledge local check to see what kind of game they're playing, and if he knows what

it is, he's going to just start the next round of it like fucking I'm in. Okay, roll the odds, Luke. Six. Step aside. You got this covered. I thought it would have been so cool.

They're playing swimming. Well, he probably thinks he knows. He probably thinks he knows what it is. Oh, that's even more embarrassing. Embarrassing. All right, so, Baron, you're like, I know this game. What do you say? I say, I'm the rootinest, tootinest bone thrower you've ever seen in your life.

Fire your gun off? No, no. Save that gunpowder. I don't Save that gunpowder I don't pull my I don't pull my gun out I just make those noises With my hands I apologize

What's her name? One who says Oh this is Gormley Well Gormley Maybe you'd like to Share my bed tonight Huh fellas?

And they all laugh. Oh, I wouldn't say things like that. There's a couple of fellas here who wouldn't mind sharing a bed with you, little boy. I wouldn't say anything like that either. Lurkle sort of pat Galabras on the shoulder and be like, Galabras, they're just having a bit of fun. Don't overthink it. Don't mind my friends here, boys.

They just want to say hello. They want to get to know you. What are you guys playing there? What do you go by, brother? They call me Lork. Some call me Le Ork. Okay. A lot of people on Twitter

call him Le Ork. Okay. A lot of people on Twitter call him Le Orc. Have you heard of the Twitter? I hear you four are the VIPs of this crew, eh? There's not much special about us. We're just part of the crew here. We're going to be helping out, doing a little fishing, a little rowing, a little cooking here, my friend. And I kind of slap Calabrus on the shoulder a little rowing, a little cooking here, my friend, and I kind of slap Galabros

on the shoulder a little too hard, maybe. One of them steps up and is like, I think that we should get to know each other a little better. Maybe I'd take the little boy downstairs and give him a personal tour

of the boat. I'll pull Galabras back a little bit, just a little bit away from him, and sort of step up in front of him. And he's staring you right in the face, and he's like, the way I see it, you guys are new here. Maybe you'll just show a little gratefulness

to our captain by letting us take your little boy here for a walk around the boat. I'd like to see you try. If you mean what I think you mean, you're crossing the wrong group, friend. You don't want to mess with this crew, trust me. If we could all just be friendly here, we won't have to throw anyone overboard. He kind of puts his hand towards his side to, like, grab

at his, uh, dagger. I wouldn't do that, friend. He goes to grab and pulls it out. And then another half-orc steps in. He's like, alright, alright, alright, alright! Crothu, sit down! Crothu. Crothu. I'm writing that name down.

Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. We're all just a little excited we don't get a lot of new people on board. Let's start this over. My name is Uruk, and we're grateful to have you on board. We've been under man for a long time. So, please, let's try and do this all over again. Crothu, why do you talk like this?

Sorry, we haven't seen women or really pretty boys in a long time. We just get a little excited, but I apologise, young man. He means no harm. He's a good person. It's just we get a little sea-starved out here. I see. Well, just

I don't speak Ork, but if you wouldn't mind telling your friend to watch himself. I will make it my personal responsibility to make sure he stays in check. Oh, wait, I do speak Ork. Oh. Did you just ask for where the bathroom is?

I think, I believe I said, watch yourself or I'll cut your dick off. Oh, yes. Because it makes sense for a language to make those sounds very similar. Yes. Yeah. No, no, it's, you have to have an ear for it.

Yeah, it's very similar. All right, all right, all right, all right. This is a mess. We're just trying to play some games here. Listen, I'm trying to understand, you're sleeping here tonight, yeah? Yeah, that's right. One eye open, yes.

All right. Got room for one more player in your game there? We always have room for more players, but I think it's best if maybe you and the young man retire downstairs, just kind of away from this crew. No one's going to hurt anybody, but just to kind of keep people apart for the night, if that's all right.

I'll head to the kitchen, shall I? The galley. Perfect. I'm to understand you're going to be helping out with the cooking, yes? I'm a fisherman. Are any of you helping out with the fishing? Aye, I'll be helping you fish there. Oh, you? Wonderful. Good, good. I'll set out the nets in the morning and I'll show you the ropes.

This is Urag still talking. And what about you, young dwarf? You're involved in this? How? Oh, I'll be fishing with you. Oh, wonderful, wonderful. The more help, the better. Yes, again, my apologies.

Damn you, Protho. You always ruin these things. This is why we can't keep a crew as large as we'd like to have. So, yes, maybe you and the woman stay downstairs and, you know, Gosnok is down there sleeping, but you can just kind of nudge him out of the way. Can I do a quick sense motive to tell if he actually cares about order

or if he's just trying to keep things calm until we're on the open sea? Sure. Or on the open river. So, sense motive 21 uh he seems genuinely uh caring and like trying to keep the peace okay after everything calms down later on i'll let everyone know i think he's a good dude um and so they continue playing and uh maybe gormley joins in for a little bit and uh yeah i think she'd like to play and and over the course of... No, I'd definitely like to play if I could. And Baron, do you want to try and join in on these games as well? Do these guys speak only Common,

or do they actually speak Orc as well? They're speaking like... You'll hear words of Common, you'll hear words of Orc. If you don't speak Orc, you don't understand it. Then you hear kind of like the Spanglish version of both, like they're using a shorthand. I would think Lor could understand it and communicate with him easily.

I mean, he grew up on the streets. You don't miss a beat. It's like Edward James Olmos in Blade Runner. Our third Edward James Olmos reference so far in one of the show. He's a wonderful actor. We're averaging one every 10 episodes. So I say, for the first time ever,

in impeccable orcish, perfect orcish, I turn my back to the crowd. There's a table in front of me. No one else is around it. And I say, which one of you motherfuckers wants to step up to the table? In orcish. And then, I don't know. And then they all like, no! They're like, who is this cool guy?

Who brought the cool guy? And then I turn around, and I have a bottle of whiskey in either hand. And I said, let's get this done. Oh! Now you are the most popular guy in the room. And they're just passing around the bottle. And through the course of the next couple hours, things get much. Lurk puts his arm around Baron.

He's like, hurry with this guy. Whiskey, we're all drinking. Yeah, I didn't even think about this. This is like, if this goes on for a couple hours, this is the best time you've had since the beginning of the episode. It's the first time Lork has forgotten all that shit. Like, just relax. We haven't had any recreation at all.

So after a couple hours, you guys are all pretty wrecked and friendly. Obviously, that half- work that was causing problems Crow threw early on, he's even kind of warmed up a little bit. He's, Galabros and Gormley are not dealing with him at all. We're not there at all, right? We're down... Well, I don't know if you, maybe you stayed upstairs

for a little bit and gambled and played games. I just kind of flash forward in time that you guys are hanging out and drinking. Did you go right downstairs? I think I went down to the galley, checked it out, heard them having fun, and came back up and had a couple sips of whiskey.

Oh, okay. By the time you come back out there, I'll be like, Hey! It's like his younger days. I have a very vivid picture of this whole scene. Yeah, me too. And it's kind of nice.

It's like a montage. And even the guy, even Crowthor, who was kind of being a dick early on, like, Lork, you understand, and maybe you can give them the 411 in the morning. Like, this is what he knows. This half-orc, like, this is how, this is what he knows. This, this half-orc, like,

threatening to do sexual, sexual things to Galabras is, is like the least of your problems. He's not brandishing a sword and he wouldn't actually do anything. It's just,

he's an animal. This is what he thinks is funny. Right. And, you know, he was drinking and goofing off. He's just a hard-ass. He pulled a sword,

he's a hard-ass. So, like, he doesn't mean any harm. He's just an asshole. But like, now he's made an enemy out of Gormley and Galabras for no reason. Fuck yeah.

So it's up to you if you want to like, be like, he's cool, trust me, he's cool. I did a couple shots with him. And then eventually throughout the night, you guys pass out in various states of drunkenness. Hold on, before we do, I also want to say that like, in the group,

as they're getting more and more drunk, Lork is like telling them all all how Baron passed out in the house, and he had to carry him out, and he's just busting his balls. And I imagine Baron being like, oh, yeah, yeah, but at least I didn't get loaded into a fucking catapult. This guy just let someone carry him into a catapult like it was a little baby let me let the guys are like let me tell you about the time he almost cut his own fucking face off let me tell you no no that's not funny that's not funny let me tell you let me tell you about a close shave that was crazy andley's like, and then his son died.

Just silence. You can hear him pin drop. Yeah, game! Yeah! Gormley is so awkward. I actually, if Gormley actually did that Baron kind of looks at Lork

and is like he just had like a look of disappointment and like I'm sorry like I'm not I'm not like him I'm a dwarf

okay it was just one of those things where like Lork got quiet everybody got quiet for a second then Gormley's like let's play another round

they all like cheer and laugh again even though it's a little awkward and Lork just takes a minute to just warm back up to it then he forgets it all. You know what I mean? It's like,

Gormley being Gormley. So eventually you guys pass out in various states of inebriation. Galabras, you take that other hammock downstairs.

At a certain point, Gaznak falls out of his hammock to the floor and is just laying on the floor so gormily. I would think you probably would sneak into the hammock. I levitate over Gosnok. I haven't used it yet today and I'm going to bed.

I'm going to bed. I'm going to get eight hours rest. Baron, this isn't too unfamiliar for you, I would think, especially when you're traveling with your family, like tight quarters. This is nice compared to probably some of the places you've slept. A lot more space, yeah.

Look, you're a big guy, but they're all kind of big. And so it's not super comfortable, but you make do. You're kind of, I would think you're probably kind of excited about the journey ahead. You know, you need things to take your mind off what's going on. Yeah, and there were like a lot of half works in the Black Arrows

and stuff too so like it's almost that feeling of like being in the real military again kind of back in the locker room yeah it's more of like this is obviously

more of a nautical crew but we're not on the river yet we're just sort of docked so it has like a fort feel you know what I mean and so yeah you're sleeping in whatever space you can find

you're drunk doesn't matter you pass out on the floor like whatever you know I think he's actually he's loving it I mean he's gonna be hung over his shit he's gonna feel terrible but he's uh he's soaking it up i would think you're probably one of the last guys to fall asleep too and uh he's booing people when they go off to go to bed people just passing out throughout the cabin

and you just see Ben Vereen just kind of walk over and pee on one of the sleeping bags. I love that. It's just like, I love that. And it comes and sits right next to your head.

I love that Wolverine. That's awesome. I retire pretty early because I feel like I have to get up pre-dawn to start cooking breakfast. Yeah, I mean. So do the fishermen, too. The fishermen, yeah. You and the fishermen are going to be up pretty early. Lord's going to have a rude awakening.

It's up to Gormley when Gormley wants to get out and make her way to the crow's nest. But then night falls, and you all sleep, and you rest. I don't think you used any powers. It's been the first day in a long time that we haven't used any powers. I didn't even have to use my AK. Today was a good day.

Yeah, I gotta say. Here's a question. How often did Galabros use Bit of Luck during the game? Oh, see. And it was not seen. I probably just used them all. I'm like, hey, good luck there, buddy.

Like tapping them on the shoulder. Galabras came up two hours later, and now Baron and Lork's pockets are full. Just tapping them on the back. Oh, Desna. Perfect. I love you, Desna. Oh, yes, I do.

You guys wake up. Galabras, you wake up, and you see Gosnok is already like fast at work chopping potatoes. He's like, something got into the potatoes. I don't know why. There's a hole in this bag.

It wasn't there in the morning. Well, couldn't have been a wolverine because they don't eat vegetables. That's a weird thing to say. the morning. Well, couldn't have been a Wolverine because they don't eat vegetables. So That's a weird thing to say. I'm just narrowing down the possibilities. I won't need you for a little bit. I've got to do

some stuff, but I'll come find you when it's time for the cooking after the catch comes in. Right. So I put on my little apron and I am so excited. I'm groggy, but I'm so excited to do work. Real work. So sheltered in upper class my whole life.

The chance to do work is so fucking exciting. Get your hands dirty. Sure, sure, sure. I'll let you know. And then Gormley you wake up and what do you feel like doing? Do you want to make your way to the crow's nest? Do you want to kind of go around, walk around the boat? What do you feel like doing? Do you want to make your way to the crow's nest? Do you want to kind of go around, walk around the boat?

What do you feel like doing? Well, she's going to sit with Howie for her usual spell preparation. But then I think she's going to go see Reginald. Ah, okay. So you walk over to the stables and you see there are no crew members on deck. You see Halrex just kind of walking out. As you come onto the deck, you see Hal Rex walking out of the chart room

and opening the hatch and going down, and she just kind of gives you a dirty eye, as she does the whole time. But that might just be her eye. An evil eye? Just a dirty eye. All right. All right.

And she goes down in the hatch and slams the hatch and goes down into the rowing deck. But she comes out of the chart room, so you would think she probably down in the hatch and slams the hatch and goes down into the rowing deck. But she comes out of the chart room. So you would think she probably sleeps in there. Yeah, maybe she sleeps with Rag. You don't know. But yeah, you're out there and the horses are... I say hi to all the horses,

but I spend extra time with Reginald. Right, and you can tell. It remembers you. And it's very affectionate, and you feel this bond, this weird little bond. I would think Howie probably gets jealous. Maybe I introduce Howie to Reginald and they bond. So would you just lay it on Reginald's back?

The horse is walking. From my head, down my neck, across my shoulder, onto my arm, and then onto Reginald's back. And he lets you do it. He lets me do it. Yeah, the horse is like, it's feeling you. You've made a connection with this horse, and it's going well. Cool.

So then I'll go up to the crow's nest after that. Okay, now, it's 30 feet up, so it's actually a bit of a climb. Or levitation. Or you're going to levitate. You can do three DC-10 climb checks or you can uh what's your climb bonus levitate 30 feet minus one from for climb oh sounds like a levitate could i could i use my hair to help assist my climb because it functions as a hand but the strength modifier equal to my intelligence so that's much

stronger than my action. I would say I would use that in place of your normal strength bonus for your skill check. So I would get a plus three on it instead of a minus one. Yeah, it would be three successful DC 10 climb checks. I can't believe it's DC 10. It's a ladder?

Isn't it like a ladder? That should be DC 5. No, it's the rope netting cargo style ladders that are in all the movies. Yeah, but it's DC5. I mean, if it says it in there, that's what it is. But it's DC5 for a rope. Like to climb a rope. Well, imagine this is a boat that's been created out of scavenged ships,

so it's probably really shoddy craftsmanship to get to the crow's nest. I also think it's kind of like a boss bitch move for Gormley to be like, y'all wanted to kind of like fuck with me last night? Bzzzing! Levitate up to the top. That'd be kind of cool. They're not watching.

I want to say that. Well, as you're contemplating what to do, the crew starts to wake up and they're making their way to the rowing deck and they're eyeing you like and snickering, thinking about you going up the crow's nest. Because it's time to shove off. So Gormley waits until everyone, including, what's his face? Crowthorpe?

Crow who? Whatever his name is. Crowthoo. Crowthoo. Crowthoo. Comes out, and then, yeah, she lets her hands drop down to her side looks up slightly and then levitates straight up

and they're all like what the fuck am I still drunk she gets into the crow's nest and just waves in one move actually and you see like seven of these half orcs just in awe mouths agape.

And they just kind of watch you. They have their eyes on you the whole time as they make their way to the hatch to go down to the rowing deck. And the last one down is Crowthoo. And he just kind of looks at you and is like, I'll never say anything bad again. And he goes down. Awesome. I mean, normally I would just climb because I can't get hurt from the fall, I feather fall,

but for the sake of that. Oh, it was good. It was great. It made a statement to these people that thought less of you and maybe that word will go to Halrex as well. It's important, man. Image is important on a boat.

No, you gotta... Image is everything. Sprite. You gotta set a tone. Gotta set a tone. And while you're up there, you get a plus two bonus on perception checks to kind of look for hazards and whatnot.

Some time passes, but pretty quickly, you guys shove off and you start your journey on the river Kestrel. Down the river. Oh, that's nice. Ah, yes.

Oh, yeah. There we go. I think I'm going to be sick. Yeah. And eventually Baron and Lork, you guys, get woken up by Uruk. And he's like, hey, fellas, are you ready to haul in the day's catch? Oh, God. He coughs up some shit.

He's like, at what point last night did you see me eat feces? Because my mouth tastes terrible. Lurks on all fours, slowly steps to one foot. The other foot pulls himself up. We've got some time. We don't have to pull him up just yet. But when you're ready, come on and meet me, and I'll show you how it all works, yeah?

All right. And he kind of goes out. You like this guy. He seems like a cool guy. Yeah, I like him, yeah. And, yeah, so eventually you guys want to make your way to the deck? Yeah. All right, so you make your way to the deck,

and you see Urag kind of bouncing about, just checking the nets, and there are four nets cast over the side of the boat, like two on one side, two on the other. And he's like, so, yeah, well, basically when we shove off of the boat, like two on one side, two on the other. And he's like, so yeah, well basically, when we shove off in the morning, I bring out the nets and I put them out there. That's pretty easy work. I don't need any help with that.

And then we row for a little bit, and then at a certain point, we'll just haul up the nets and see what we caught. I need strong men, and it seems like you two are pretty strong, so this'll make my job a lot easier. I've been doing this by myself and I'm just exhausted. So we'll just wait a little longer, maybe another 20 minutes or so, and then we'll

pull them up. You guys had fun last night, yeah? It was more fun than I've had in a long time, I've got to say. Good, good. And you, little man? Little dwarf, thank you. I had a great time.

I just wanted to ask a quick question. Sure, sure. Do you just pull up these nets by hand, or do you have any type of simple machine or pulley or lever to help you bring them up? Oh, we ain't fancy. We just use our hands. Well, that seems a little, well, pardon the term, barbaric to me. I'm going to work on something for you. Next couple days, I'll have something built up to help us out.

Hey, I'd love to see anything you can come up with. I know dwarves are very handy. It'll be great. One man can do it with half an eye open. That'd be wonderful. Make my job a lot easier. I mean, from what I understand, you guys won't be with us for too much longer. So if you could leave us with something awesome, that'd be great.

I love how friendly this work is. Get out something awesome. Hey. Hey, be great. We've got a couple more minutes here before we've got to pull these up. I'd just like to wait. I have a way of, I don't know, I've always considered myself a bit of a fisherman. I just have a way of knowing when's the best time to pull them up.

Do you mind me asking a little bit about yourself? I know you're a bit of a half, like I am. What brings you out here? I'm from the militia in Trunau, and we're off up to the marshlands, the highlands, looking for some giants up there. I'm a giant hunter. Oh, well, you'll find plenty of them, I'm sure, I'm sure. So,

through now, militia, you must come from a rich, noble family. I see your markings. I don't know what they all mean, but you must come from royalty. This one here means that I'm a lieutenant. It does. But I didn't come from no rich family. I worked my way up. I did.

Do you know anything about your family? Do you know where you came from? I don't have rich family. I worked my way up, I did. Do you know anything about your family? Do you know where you came from? I don't have a family. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I can empathise. It's just me and Ben here. That's all it is. And my friends, of course.

Pat's bearing on the shoulder. Friends can help out a lot. He seems to be a good, strong little man. He also got a second billing to the Wolverine he met yesterday. He's also got... And Lurk looks down for a second at the gun that's under his thing, and then he thinks better of it. And it's like... He just kind of coughs for a second, the gun that's under his thing, and then he thinks better of it. And it's like, he just kind of coughs for a second,

and he's like, he's got a way with machines. I'm sure he'll make something great for the netting. Oh, that would just be wonderful. I enjoy my work. My parents taught me to be a good worker, and I enjoy my work, but anything that could make it easier would be wonderful. See, my parents were, they were traveling performers, you see. Like most of us half-orcs, people think,

oh, you were born out of some horrible circumstance where the orcs did horrible things to the humans. No, no, no, my parents were in love, and they were performers, but they met a horrible end because, as I'm sure you know, people don't look fondly upon orcs and humans being friendly with each other. No, no, they don't. So I... And he's thinking of Roger.

I just kind of... I took to... I never had the performance ability that my parents did, so I just kind of took to the water and well, anyway, here I am and I'm talking your ear off. You seem like a great performer to me. Ah. Oh, Rugg. You're a good man. I think you've got a lot of talent. And you are too, and your little

creature there looks pretty cool too. Anyways, let's haul up these nets. So you can either, two of you can haul up one, or you can just haul up one each. And from a mechanics perspective, it is either going to be a DC-10 profession fisherman check

or a DC-10 profession fisherman check or a DC-18 survival check or a DC-10 strength check. I'll do the fisherman check. One can attempt the check while the other one provides aid if two of you do one.

Then I'll aid and do strength. There are four nets and Urog is like you guys are new, why don't you just bring them up? Hey, listen, if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out, but we need to get at least one of these. Baron, let's both do the same net here. You tell me what to do, and I'll just pull it up. All right.

I have a plus seven in profession, fisherman. Hold on, before you roll, let me see if I can, if I properly aid you. I do not. I'm inebriated. I'm hungover. So no plus two. Eighteen. Eighteen? Professional fisherman? Yeah, so you Lork just kind of like... He makes it look good, but he didn't add any strength. Lork kind of slips on the slippery deck

a little bit, and Baron does the lion's share of the work, and you haul up a net, and it's got a good amount of fishing, and you're nice. Flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap. I would assume, Gormley, you're still up there, and Galabras, you're probably milling about on deck watching this.

I don't know. Like, Gosnok told you to kind of go light for a second because he wants to do his own thing, so I don't know. Are you watching this? Too many cooks. Too many cooks. Yeah.

Okay. So I stand out. I'm watching them hauling the fish and not helping. The second net. All right. Second net. Let me see if I can. Let me get a better footing here on this deck.

Slippery. Is it a strength check? Strength check to aid the profession fisherman. There we go. That did it. It's ten exactly. Baron, I rolled a ten exactly. Oh.

I rolled a twenty. There you go. A natural twenty? No, thirteen. Alright, so you pull it up again. So twenty-two. It almost flies off the other side of the deck. And also a lot of fish, and Urog's like, oh, this is wonderful. This is enough food for two days. So now you both won't have to

be fishermen tomorrow. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. Well, let's see if we can go four for fork. Three for three, at least. Go ahead. I've got a bad feeling about this. We're getting greedy. Got it again. I helped. So add two. Natural 20.

29. You pull up a net That is just Overflowing with fish And you see like Crustaceans in there too Shrimps Lobster

Crabs Sharks Sharks A couple sharks Full of the legendary Freshwater sharks Just beautiful Freshwater sharks

They're a delicacy We got them hanging Vertically all over the deck Like while they're inside I haven't seen Full of the legendary freshwater sharks. Just beautiful freshwater sharks. They're a delicacy. We got them hanging vertically all over the deck, like while they're inside. Oh, I haven't seen a freshwater shark in years. That's going to be wonderful to make some freshwater shark fin soup. Well, we got one more. I might as well try.

No, I'm not going to help you guys, do it. Go ahead. Sets his feet. Yep, 17. Strength. Ooh, so that's feet. Yep, 17. Strength. Ooh, so that's 10 plus 2, 12. 12. Okay, so you grab the net, and this one's a little bit tougher.

Maybe you got a little cocky from that natural 20, and like this one, you kind of over compensate a little bit, but you still pull it up. But as you're pulling it up, the fucking rail breaks. And you guys are about to fall into the water. Oh, shit. Fuck. Roll a reflex save. I don't know, this is dangerous.

Oh, I also wanted to make it clear that, like, the morning hauling nets up, Lork is not wearing his armor, by the way. Oh, yeah. Oh, so you have no armor. Yeah, because you wouldn't sleep in it. You wouldn't sleep in it, and you wouldn't wear it on the edge of a boat. Yeah.

Ugh. Twelve. Seventeen. Uh-oh. Fuck. Lork! God damn it, Lork! So, Ben!

You go to pull this last net up, and you've been doing this now, well, you did two on the other side of the boat, and now the second one on this one, and the rail, for some reason, just completely gives way, and Lork falls into the water with Urog right behind him, falls into the water. Oh, shit behind him. Falls into the water. Oh, shit.

Gormley, roll a perception check. Natural one. So, I got a plus two for being in the guitar? You get a plus two. All right, so, ten. Lork, you are in the water.

Urog splashes in next to you and Gormley atop the crow's nest sees a couple of creatures swarming towards the two of them we'll see you next week oh shit

you maritime fuck I gotta think about this all goddamn week. You river-bound fuck! Throw me with the sharks. Take me to the river so I can fuck dry up tonight. Outro Music