The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 313 - Hero Gravity

Episode Date: February 1, 2022

In the open air outside the castle, the heroes battle enemies on two fronts! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that...

That's right! Did you know it's also covered by most private insurance plans? Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. Hey, I just got us a new Coca-Cola spice. Nice. What's it taste like?

It's like barefoot water skiing while dolphins click with glee. Whoa, let me try. Nah, it's like gliding on a gondola through waving waters as a mermaid sings. Nah, it's like Coca-Cola with a refreshing burst of raspberry and spiced flavors. Yeah. Try new Coca-Cola Spiced today. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast.

But now you're separated from your party and Sir Will is still permanently insane. What the hell do you guys want to do? As the Paladin continued his descent into madness. Have I ever given you a reason to not trust me? There is only one reason to trust you, Sheriff. When we walk together, we walk alone. That is what you've always said. He pulls out a sword.

Oh, boy. Old friends turn weapons against each other. This bullet hits his mailed fist and the sword within it and he drops it to the ground. They've taken you! They've taken you all! And he starts, like, riding away, like, into the castle. And the party

had no choice but to shackle one of their own. And Lexington, like, with Nestor, jumps on Sir Will. He's just fighting while Nestor is tackling him and then I imagine the rest of you help him

hot tie Sir Will. Horrible. With one ally bound can they survive an ambush at the castle's edge? You see the doors fly open

and three cloud giants come rushing out. Oh no. Baron take your ready to action. The adventure continues. Bubbling hot magma erupts from your only exit. Now. What is going on, Glass Cannon Nation?

It's your old buddy, Troy LaValle. If you're one of the smart, loyal fans who stayed subscribed to the Androids and Aliens feed after the final episode aired, you are about to be rewarded with some breaking news. And if you're one of the lazy fans that just plain forgot to unsubscribe to the feed, well, you win as well. Because the A&A feed is about to get hot again with more content than you'll know what to do with. Starting next week, the Androids and Aliens feed that you know and love will be rebranded as Glass Cannon Network Presents. Now, all 155 episodes of A&A will remain on the feed as the premiere show of this soon-to-be-rebranded feed. But now it will also be host to a ton of new shows starting this year

and beyond, as it becomes a landing spot for almost everything the Glass Cannon Network produces outside of our flagship show, the Glass Cannon Podcast, and all of our Patreon-exclusive shows. First up on the feed will be our new Dune Adventures in the Imperium miniseries called Inherit the Sand. The character creation session will drop this Wednesday, February 2nd on the rebranded feed, and then new episodes will release the following Monday after each Friday night stream on Twitch. So episode one of Inherit the Sand debuts Friday, February 11th at 8 p.m. Eastern on Twitch, right in that old A&A slot. Then the podcast version will drop on the Glass Cannon Network Presents feed on Monday, February 14th. Then later in the month, the podcast version will drop on the Glass Cannon Network Presents feed on Monday, February 14th. Then, later in the month, the podcast version of Jared Logan's upcoming Blades in the Dark series, Haunted City, will land on the rebranded feed as well.

And so much more throughout the year. And I mean it when I say so much more. The One Ring, Call of Cthulhu, Twilight 2000. Oh, yeah. This is going to be one hell of a year. But that's not all. For the first time since we began putting ads on androids and aliens, we will be offering an ad-free version of all new shows from the Glass Cannon Network Presents feed to subscribers at the $10 tier and up on Patreon. So if you want to listen to all of this new

content ad-free, head on over to patreon.com slash glasscanon and subscribe to at least the $10 tier today. I have huge plans for this new feed this year, where soon you can expect to listen to multiple releases per week, all in one place. Thank you for listening and for supporting us, and get ready for bucketloads of new adventures, all in one place, on Glass Cannon Network Presents. all in one place on Glass Cannon Network Presents. Before I launch into our award-winning banter this week, I just want to remind everyone, in case you don't follow us on the social, as the kids call it,

that we're going to be making our first ever stop in Richmond Virginia this Saturday night for the second Glass Cannon Live of the year. We're coming to Richmond. This is a risk for us in many ways. We want to start exploring new markets, but we've got to sell some tickets so that we can continue

to come to your crappy hometown. some tickets so that we can continue to come to your crappy hometown. But no, we're really excited to come to Richmond. Last I checked, or at least at the time of this recording, there's still some tickets available. I know that we always have like 300 plus when we're in D.C. Get your ass down

to Richmond. I think it's south of D.C. Not good with geography. Over to Richmond? Over to Richmond. Get over to Richmond. Come party with us. If you saw the end of the Dallas show, then you definitely want to see the Richmond show. Please buy tickets if they're still available. They might

not be. They might not be, but we're really excited. And then we're going to be in Boston first week of March because originally we thought that's when PAX East was going to be and it's not. So you should still come to see us and don't worry about PAX.

They really pulled the rug out from under us on that one. Yep. The old switcheroo. I like it when we go to these new towns because it finally gives some hope to the people that like to tweet out their particular town when we announce a date. And sometimes it makes sense.

Sometimes it's, oh, you're going to Dallas. Will you ever do Austin or Houston? Those make sense. Sometimes you're like, we're doing a show in Seattle. And someone's like, will you come to Muskogee, Oklahoma? And you're like, what are you talking about? Well, I know what they're talking about. They're just enthusiastic

for our content, Grant. They want us to come. That's true. It's just, you know, let's get the Tulsa date in for Oklahoma before we think about Muskogee, okay? That's all I'm saying. To quote Troy, don't sleep on Muskogee. Biggest little small town in America. Scoogie. Sleepover Scoogie. Biggest little small town in America.

So, Richmond experience among the crew here. I've never been. Has anybody been to Richmond? I have. I have. I drove through on the way back from Myrtle Beach for a beach trip. My wife and I drove. And we stopped in Richmondmond because i knew there was a stone brewery that had uh popped up there i was like let's get lunch at stone have a couple

coldies and uh then drive our children no this is before kids uh so we were just driving drunk without children no we only did we had a lot ofI would just kill a stranger and not your child, and that's okay. Perfect. No, we popped in there, and so I didn't really see a lot of it. The brew was very nice, but I'm excited to go back. People say Richmond's fun. Matthew, you have been? I have.

I spent a few hours there as I waited for my Greyhound bus transfer. Oh, so that's it. That's it. You've seen it all. I felt like I got to see a lot, though. It was like 10.30 to 1.30 a.m. stretch. It was like 10.30 p.m. to 1.30 a.m. stretch, and it was an eventful time.

That's the best time to see it, they say. Did you enjoy your time in Richmond, Mr. Rockefeller? I can't complain. It was a great bus transfer. Anthony Bourdain over here. I was still in college and Caitlin and I,

Caitlin hadn't been home in forever. And we were both, I think it was like the summer in college and we were both working like several survival jobs at once is trying to like pay rent. And she was really stressed on it. She was like, I haven't been home. I'm like,

well, it's just, what's the cheapest way we can get you back home and I'll go with you. And we'll make a thing of it. And we looked up and we paid like $50 for a greyhound bus from new york to to virginia and it was actually three greyhound buses and it was like 14 straight hours and uh it was very stressful because the richmond actually was a reprieve because we knew we'd be in richmond and we were waiting for our connection as opposed to all the other connections

where we uh were on the bus and we watched the time that our next bus was supposed to leave go by while we sat in traffic oh no and there was one and but i realized that the greyhound system apparently thrives on traffic because the drivers start to announce he's like all right when we get to the next stop if you're going to this place, go to this gate. If you're going to this place, go to this gate. If you're going to Charlotte, do not worry. I am your driver. You will not be late. Well, it's probably appropriate that now I tell you we had to cut the budget a little

bit and you drew the short story and we'll have to take the bus back to Richmond. Oh, great. The Greyhound to Richmond. It'll be like old times. we also only purchased a ticket for you to go in with the luggage underneath the bus so you'll have to really curl up in a ball the entire ride oh i'm going underneath the bus yes you should wear long johns it's going to be very very cold i'll wear long johns and i'll pack myself into a suitcase everybody is talking at me

well i'm excited come on out to that show come see us and come see us in boston we'll be announcing some more dates soon uh but now banter this is what i was thinking now we've come to the banter segment of our show. And commence. And banter. Isn't it funny that we watch cartoons, but our parents never did? Do you know what I mean? Like, cartoons have become so different now. There's more adult cartoons. There's so many shows that launch.

But, like, The Simpsons was probably the first show that I watched with my mom. Now, they watched Looney Tunes when they were kids and stuff. But I'd never walk in on my dad watching Akira. You were too young to know. The Flintstones and the Jetsons were primetime TV, weren't they? Yeah, they were. They were. They were.

So there's a little bit of a gap between The Flintintstones and the jetsons and the simpsons there was a cartoon free gap that i will definitely co-sign on those jetsons were ahead of their times what is it hot dig true yeah i don't know well it's like hannah barbara was like because you know they did like johnny quest and everything and it was just incredibly expensive show uh and i think that was prime time too and they were just like we this is we don't want to spend this much money so they they shifted their model over to making cheaper syndicatable children's cartoons like Scooby-Doo and crap like that.

So yeah, that would account for the gap because it's like, also, you know, like Looney Tunes would show, they did show the shorts before feature films and movie theaters and everything. Oh yeah.

My dad would tell me back in the day, go to see a movie on a Saturday. You'd see two features and a couple cartoons. For a nickel. Didn't have TVs. You'd spend your whole day in the theater. Sorry, I'm still just picturing you walking in

on your dad, watching Akira. Shutting it off and being like, I told you to knock! Throws a mug at your head. Get out of here! This is my time! Oh, you guys are going to kick out of this. So I've been

introducing Archer to Miyazaki films, slowly. And the other day I came into his bedroom while he was playing and he has an Alexa echo dot in there. And so he just plays music and he was listening to like Toto's greatest hits,

coloring and just jamming out. I saw him, he was bopping his head and I was like, what are you, how did you come upon this? Because he was trying to tell Alexa to play my neighbor totoro soundtrack and instead toto's greatest hits i mean it's kind of a different result but not bad aren't you a good jam buddy uh but yeah it is i i find that so funny like now i i've watched

cartoons left and right. Sam hates him, but like, you know, I haven't watched family guy in a while, but I would always watch that. And then at night I'm watching Rick and Morty before I go to bed or like old American dads.

It's, but our folks didn't, it's just, it's different. Well, yeah, I mean, you say that,

but I also, I don't watch cartoons. I don't watch any of those shows that you just mentioned. You're not a big cartoon guy. And I don't really know why. Um, I'm just not, I don't really know why. Um, I'm just not, I don't know.

I never got dad. That's why I loved the Simpsons, you know, when I was in college, but, but then I didn't, I don't watch it anymore. And I don't want,

I never watched family guy. I never got into it. It's so funny. Park. Like I love their humor, but I just never got into it. I don't know. When we,

when I would show you a South park or a family guy, you would piss yourself laughing. It's funny. You wouldn't be like, know what i need to watch yeah south park i think we talked about this on the show a long time ago something always bothered me about family guy i can't quite put my finger on it just oh i think just trying to be funny constantly every second because it sucks that's what might be bothering you That's what might be bothering you I think I've honed in on Joe's issue Family guy

Yeah, I just don't like it And I never watched any Rick and Morty Matthew, you watch a lot of Rick and Morty? No, I haven't But I'm not, for lack of trying I actually do like Rick and Morty. Matthew, you watch a lot of Rick and Morty? No, I haven't, but I'm not for lack of trying. I actually do like Rick and Morty. I just, I'm behind on everything. The same with video games.

Like, my folks didn't play video games either and now, like, I play it. I'll be playing it more than my children. I never walked in on my dad yelling at a Dark Souls boss. It's so weird. Just slamming a controller In the ground What's wrong dad?

This fight is bullshit My father never tweeted to his followers To invade him endlessly To make his world tendency black In order to platinum Demon's Souls But I did My dad played a lot of video games My dad was a big gamer Though anyway he played a lot of video games my dad well my dad was a big gamer though anyway

played a lot of strategy games and but uh we had an apple 2e computer and he really liked the like apache helicopter flight simulator and oh yeah um yeah much of sims and strategy games like that. But I think the expectations of adulthood, what being an adult means, have shifted quite a bit since I've been alive, for sure. You know, the stuff that we engage in without

shame today that any normal adult would hide. They would throw mugs at their kids' heads if they walked in and waited in their bedroom. Like I, after I finish unloading my car at the grocery store, I like to push the cart and then jump on and ride it into the thing. And as I'm doing it, I'm like,

I couldn't picture my dad at 43 doing this. No, he'd be put away. But it's a lot of fun and I could get hit by a car five minutes later, so I'm glad I did it. Right. And it's faster. It is faster. It speeds up your day.

When you take into account the speed and the enjoyment, it's foolish to do it any other way. Oh, God, I felt like such an old man. So I injured my shoulder the other day pretty bad. And it's an old injury. And I re-injured it. And so I'm out with the kids.

And they're riding bikes. And it's freezing out. I'm just trying to get them outside. And I'm walking along. And they're riding around. And they pull off and stop because there's this huge, in the park, in the grass, this huge frozen patch of water, just ice, sheer ice. And they're having a ball playing on it.

And they're like, come on the ice! And I'm literally looking at it and I'm like, I can't. I can't. Because I'm like, I can't fall. I can't risk falling right now. It's just so sad. I have a theory about this because you know we do carry these

things that we love in childhood we carry them into our adulthoods now we're doing it as a living right now and if you look back at like pictures of people like back in the 70s look at like ed asner like on the set of the mary tyler moore show and uh he's got you know he's balding and he's wrinkled and he's got his like short sleeve white shirt and it's just like oh wow he's 23 years old in that shot and it's like everyone looks like look like like super old back then i think it's like that's changed for a number of reasons but one reason is because we have these things like we're able to enjoy ourselves more freely as we grow older and we're able to retain some of that youth. Mm-hmm.

And moisturizers, huge. And moisturizers. And nobody's smoking everywhere anymore. And nutrition. Who among us doesn't moisturize their face twice a day? Grant, Matthew, Skid, and Joe's never even purchased a moisturizer. No, twice a day. Okay.

Wow, so Joe and I are the only? I didn't used to. I had horrible, I still have really awful skin because I'm Irish, and just the sun destroys my face at any time of year. And I finally went many years ago to a dermatologist. Actually, Matthew's wife and I had like a race to a dermatologist we both knew we needed to go but we kept putting it off what do we call that a race yeah it was the slowest race of all time yeah it was like i'm gonna go to a dermatologist before you

it was a sack race and it would be like months yeah and we just wouldn't actually go uh but i finally went and they were like you need to moisturize your face twice a day uh and and then do this and this and and and sure enough like it took a few months but it cleared a lot of problems up so i was like i can get behind this moisturizing thing this really works this really works it's good stuff i need to find a product that doesn't cost fifty dollars for four ounces because i found like this. This one I like is Jack black. It comes in a blue bottle. I like it. It's great,

but it's too expensive for me. I think I would like to find something that is, can I buy stuff at the store for like an affordable amount? And then it feels like I've put five pound weights on my face. Like there's very heavy moisturizers. And then there's like the perfect ones. Got to get into keels and wait for a sale and then stock up that's what i do you guys want to know the biggest secret in skincare i don't even know if i should tell you coconut oil no don't tell me

i don't want to be spoiled we'll bleep it out of the app troy it's fine all right all right do you know what cut the mics i'll tell you guys off here because I need to get it out right now. It's the greatest thing I discovered last year. And it's expensive. It's like 80 bucks for a small little tube of it. But it will change your life. Retinol. Retinol? Yeah.

Retinol. You just put a little bit on at night before you put your moisturizer on, and it will change your skin completely. I went to a dermatologist last year. I'm like, I need a routine. I've been just reading Men's Health for years and trying to do what they say, but I need a real legit routine. He goes, let me tell you, this is what you do. You wash your face in the morning with this, boom. You do this with the sunscreen, boom. You do this moisturizer do this moisturizer boom at night you want a retinol boom and then use this night cream boom and then this and he told me everything and it's changed my life with my skin what was your dermatologist emerald lagasse

he was throwing uh chili powder in my face every time that's what happens if you get your skincare done in fall river but yeah retin, retinol is the fucking shit. It's very expensive, but if you want your life changed, you can't put a price on that. I saw a dermatologist tweet about this the other day and suggested a slightly different cadence. What you were doing, I think it was every other day or something, but also very pro-retinol. The prescription-level retinol is much more industrial strength, as they say. But I think if you can find a good over-the-counter one, it's also supposed to be really good. But be careful.

You don't want to use it every day. You want to build up a tolerance to it. Start with like a 0.3. I've moved up to a 0.5. And I do it every day. But you have to work up to that. You could have a real serious reaction. Anyways, that's Troy's skincare tips. to a point five uh and i do it every day but you can like you have to work up to that you could have a real serious reaction anyways that's troy's skincare tips uh and we'll see you next week for

the very rich podcast tips for the very wealthy i gotta say i gotta say too this is this is something because i i didn't do it for the longest time and then i saw there was a reddit thread about like, what's something that you've, man, like what's something you've changed in your life that you never would do because the perception was it was too feminine. And that was one of the things was like moisturized. I was just like, oh, okay. especially men back, you know, in our father's days, looked older than they do now, is because of that kind of ideas, these sort of ideas about masculinity that can ultimately be very harmful sometimes. That's another thing that we've advanced in, I think. Yeah, I mean, absolutely, Skid. I totally agree.

And I remember it when I was like a teenager. I remember even in my early 20s being like a teenager. I remember him in my, even in my early twenties being like, like even facial cleanser, not even moisturizer, like facial cleanser was like, that was like feminine to me. I was like, ah,

give me a bar of Irish spring. And I'll rub it into my face. It was so, it's so stupid. It's like, it really is. It's really, really dumb.

Yeah. Take care of your skin. It's really, really dumb. Yeah. Take care of your skin. You want to look young? Follow my very expensive routine. It turns me out that I trust you more on this than I would tax advice, but I actually do feel like you actually know a little bit more what you're talking about on this. I have plenty of random things I know a lot about.

One of them is skin care. All right. But another thing that I know is that things are about to go down here on the Giant Slayer show, as my wife calls it. No, she doesn't know what we do. My wife's never referred to it before. She's never referred to it. She assumes I'm just goofing off

in here for 12 hours a day. My wife refers to it as that Sicilian thing. Lacosa Nostra. You came you came uh up here to this open air platform because you saw a shrine uh an outbuilding you had to pass through the outside to get to the shrine and you think if there's any place that renfall is going to be it's going to be perhaps something like this that he could be tied to. There's a guy that shows up playing a harp. Maybe he would play the harp in the shrine. You don't know. He's mentioned that he was a priest of Gozer. Maybe the shrine was his shrine. This is as good a place as any to try and find Renfall to see if he can help you with Sir Will. But you

were nervous about it. You were nervous about exposing yourselves. You were nervous about the fact that Sir Will is now hogtied on the back of Lexington. But Barron rolled a profession fisherman check to make a very special knot that hopefully can be pulled as a, I don't know, an immediate, a free action, a standard action as opposed to a full action. I can't remember what we said. I think it was a standard instead of a full. But either way, you come out here, Baron takes the lead. And while being ahead of the party, he starts to sense evil and notices the doors to the shrine opening up. Three cloud giant veterans come running out. Baron pops one, pulls back.

Nestor fires, kills that one that Baron hit. But then the passageway that you walked on to get to this platform turns into bubbling lava. And now we're back in combat here. At that moment, right next to Metra, Sir Will, Nestor,

in fact, surrounding them, and also just to the south of Baron, a fog cloud erupts. Oh, no. Come on. Oh, man. No escape. Covering you. No visibility.

Yeah. No paladin. 20-foot radius, complete lack of visibility. Yeah. No paladin. 20-foot radius, complete lack of visibility. This new radius chart you have on here is dynamite, Troy. In the past, you've been copy and pasting garbage that doesn't fit the maps, and this lines up perfectly. It looks beautiful. You know, I don't know why I took 313 episodes, but this is so much easier. Yeah.

Is it in Roll20 already? It's precise. No, I just Googled something for Roll20, and then I cut out the edges and threw this on. I like throwing the actual cloud, but look at, like, see all those white spaces that the cloud doesn't cover that are actually within the 20-foot radius? Yeah. So this is bad news now, because Metro Sir Will and Nestor are in this cloud.

Baron is just to the north of it, just on the edge of it, but can no longer see his friends. And because of the boundaries of this, can't see the cloud giants either. Question for you, Troy. I'll allow it. No, you know what? You can ask the question on your turn. Okay. Metro Europe.

Has the castle stopped flying? Has the castle stopped flying? No, it's moving. At what speed would you say we're traveling at? Oh, you're going to be that guy, huh? Yep. Approximation is fine You know what? I don't want to give you an approximation

Because I'm not good at those I would like it The easiest way for us to understand it Would be if you did it in meters per second So if you could just Chart it like that I feel like that's how it was written in the book So it won't be helpful to anyone.

Especially the GM. Why are you bothering me with this? Why are you asking? Well, because I want to get rid of this fog cloud, but I believe if a fog cloud, depending on the speed of the wind, will only last for a certain amount of time. Yes, that is correct. And I mentioned this last week, but you were too busy combing your beard to learn that it was 21 miles an hour. So the fog cloud will only last for one round. That's right.

But how many rounds will you last for? How many rounds indeed? Okay. So Metra will swift action with the metamagic rod cast mage hand to untie Sir Will okay mage hand to untie Sir Will great so you only had to expend a swift to do that and the mage hand gets its full stand

only Sir Will the insane is untied I should mention that the cloud giant that cast that fog cloud then moved up to the edge of the cloud. Of course he did. Okay. And then Metra will...

I think I can do this from within the cloud because I'm not targeting anybody. I'm just targeting an area. Oh, boy. Metra is going to cast... How tall are the cloud giants? Oh, 13 feet tall, I believe. Perfect. Okay, so Metra is going to cast reverse gravity.

And I'm going to reverse gravity. Oh, shit. Basically in the area of the walkway. So the cloud giants standing there will fall up into the air. Okay, reverse gravity in... Hold up. Hold up. Yes, Joe. Don't you need line of sight?

On the point at which you are sending the reversed John? I mean, do I? You almost always do, don't you? Yeah, it's the type of thing like i didn't want to say target of the spell the area is an area up to one 10 foot cube per level okay so maybe if you can envision the area you can just guess it's up to you it's like over there i was just looking at it yeah i know you know where they are and all that stuff. I'm just curious about line of effect, I guess, really.

I also always forget that you don't have true seeing. You are just able to see ethereal and invisible at all times? Is that what your ability is? I mean, I can get to a place where I have line of sight. If I need to. I'm looking, for example, fireball, because it's the same thing. If you're casting a fireball, you're casting reverse gravity. It's all the same thing. You need line of sight.

But if you just say, I want to put a fireball over there, do you need it? Yeah, I guess you're right. I guess you don't. Fireball travels, yeah. Yeah, you have line of effect because it will go through the fog cloud. You have line of effect. You just can't see. But you're not trying to target a thing. You're trying to target

an area. Yeah, just saying like I want this area to start 20 feet ahead of me. And then... Yeah. I mean, you rule. I mean, if I have the movement to get line of sight around the cloud, but if I... I would prefer to be back here.

You want to be as close as possible to Sir Will when he starts smashing your face with a gauntleted fist. A tiny little fist. Troy is really grinding this thing to a halt here. I know it's my fault, but what are you reading now? I'm going to say you can do it. It's very open-ended here on the boards, shocker,

with people just really throwing curses back and forth at each other about what RAW and RAI are for things like this, but you know what that area is, whether or not you can see it exactly. I mean, I think you have enough coverage with

10 cubic feet that you could cover it without worrying about covering yourself. Grant? Have you looked ahead to think, and I I think you have enough coverage with 10 cubic feet that you could cover it without worrying about covering yourself. Grant? Have you looked ahead to think, and I'm sure you have, Matthew, I'm just asking for my own fear of my life, that is our only means of exiting this platform right now. Are you able to dispel that at will if we need to run through there, or would we also potentially have to run through there and fly into the sky? I can dispel it. It would be a standard action to disp through there and fly into the sky um i think

we're gonna i can dispel it would be standard action to dispel it i don't think we're gonna need to um because i if it works out the way i want to uh we won't need to at all and if it doesn't work out the way i want to we uh we'll just be we'll be pretty dandy um because so how much what's the actual distance the actual width of actual width of this, uh, 25 feet? I'm going to say 30 feet. So I got three, I'm going to, like, line up three cubes and then stack them. Right? Mm-hmm.

And then that should get me, that should get, I have 16, so we'll say I have five levels, right? Yeah. Three, three, three, three, three. So that's 50 feet. So can you put a five-foot-hole corridor through it that we could walk through without detecting magic? We're not going to need it. Okay.

Okay. Well, here's what I'll say is the one that was dead just flies up into the air. That's so cool. He doesn't just fly away. He hits the edge of that cube 50 feet up in the middle of the air As if it were the ground Is that how it works or is it just

Oh he might just hover I think he just hovers and then at a certain point Probably when you dispel it they fall right Yes he remains there Oscillating slightly until the spell ends Alright so he just This dead body is limply hanging there. Now, the one that is in front

that just stupidly charged up, he has nothing to grab onto, so he doesn't get a reflex save. However, the one behind him can try to pull back and grab the door jam. So he'll get a reflex save, and we'll see. I have a physics question, Matthew.

At what point would a body's momentum dissipate enough where it would be left behind by the moving castle? That is exactly what I was going to say. I think the castle is moving, right? Those creatures that go up into... But isn't the field that you created this moving as well with the castle is moving, right? Those creatures that go up into... But isn't the field that you created this moving as well with the castle? Yes. In fact, it is. So I would say they go up and then the castle is moving forward.

They would fall. They would hit. So they would stay where they are. And they would hit the wall and fall to their deaths. Which way is the castle going? That's a good question. Which way is the castle going? That's a good question Which way is the castle going? It's going towards the east Towards the shrine

Yeah, it's going towards the shrine And the shrine When you say east and west It no longer means anything Okay It's going towards It's going in the direction of the shrine So if anything

They would hit the wall of the shrine It's a tall shrine No, no, no They'd be going the other way They'd go the other way They'd fall off So here's what I Here's what I imagine As soon as you the other way. They'd go the other way. They'd fall off. So here's what I imagine

as soon as you did it, Matthew. They would go straight up and then they would come over us and fall on top of us. I mean, eventually. 21 miles an hour. They'd fall to their death. Yeah. Okay. Here's the thing. I don't want to get into this physics because as much as it may benefit

you now, if we really dig into it, it will pamper you later. And there's just no rules for it. So I'm going to say that this is all happening statically, moment to moment. But both of those guys, the guy failed his reflex save. I rolled a 12. So they both go up 50 feet,

and they're hovering next to the other one. They look so foolish. They would anyway for a while. I just don't know physically. Because you have momentum. If you jump up on a moving airplane, you don't fly back 200 feet and then hit the ground. So it's like, I just don't know how long that momentum is maintained. It's an interesting question.

It's questions like that that make me want to never play this game again. I'm honestly curious. I've been watching nothing but Flat Earther debunking videos all week. So this is all stuck in my head. I'm really sorry. The physics is beyond me, so I won't pretend to have any kind of opinion about it. I'm fine with them just isolating it. I love that stuff.

That physics of inertia and movement is so fascinating. I love that stuff. That physics of inertia and movement is so fascinating. And I just love the idea of you being on a plane and jumping up and just slamming to your death in the back of the plane. Flattened up against the galley wall. Oh, God. Well, I know that Troy hasn't played it, but I think Matthew has. And I know Skid has.

Super Mario Galaxy has really great gravity reversal mechanics, where you kind of are running in a straight line, and then you float up and float down. And those kind of have barriers and boundaries to them where you're held within it, so maybe that's what's happening here. It's magic, anyway. I'm totally fine with us saying we're in a gravity well of our own and this reversal of gravity railings. No I'm glad you brought us up. I just knew people out there would be listening. It's like wait a minute if they're not attached to the castle wouldn't they just like

fly out. I was hoping they wouldn't be. The limitations of the game my imagination and my tolerance have all combined to make me want to say, all right, you guys win. Not your retinol tolerance, though. That's very high. I worked up to that.

0.5, baby. 0.5. I'm thinking about moving to 0.7. All right, Medford, please tell me you don't have another action. I actually do have another action. I'm going to take a five-foot step back out of the cloud. Five-foot step back out of the cloud. Five foot step back out of the cloud.

Move. Okay. Action. It is my other cloud giant's turn. And he sees the ground go beneath him. And he casts levitate on himself. And then moves down 20 feet back in the direction of the floor.

So he's now 30 feet above the platform. But that is his whole action. Amazing. He's flying back down towards the ground. He's like reversed, fly down. He's like using the wall to push himself down. But yeah, so that is his turn, unfortunately, thereby taking away the fun destruction

I wanted to lay down. But speaking of fun destruction, Sir Will, give me a D100 roll. Fun destruction coming your way on the Giant Slayer Show. Giant Slayer Show. Giant Slayer Show. Oh,ayer Show. Giant Slayer Show. Oh, starting off hot right in the same place

we always are, of course, 78. So, of course, I'm always going to roll the highest possible in these scenarios. Attack nearest creature, which I'll do a 50-50 roll for Nestor or Lexington. And if it's 51 or higher, I'll say it's Nestor. Is Lexington an animal companion?

Yeah. Is he a true animal companion? And this is why I asked. It's because I was doing some reading about this. An animal companion is not considered an ally, I animal companion is like not considered. Well, but that's, it's not considered an ally, I think, or something like that. No, I know. I know.

I have, I have, hold on. It's not a creature. It's the spell. I know. In the confusion, in the confusion, it says that familiars count for this, but he's not a familiar either. It doesn't say companions. Yes, Grant. You don't need, you don't need to have this discussion.

And under animal companions, they remain creatures of the animal type for the purposes of determining which spells can affect them. No, no, no. He's not saying that. No, not that? No, he's saying, would he attack Lexington instead of one of us? If they were equidistant. Let me ask you this. The

warning of confusion says nearest creature? Yeah. Yeah, so that would be either Lexington or... Yes. All right, so I'm just going to roll the mischance here. Oh, and it's a four, so it is Lexington. So once again, this poor, poor pup, I will just slam him in the back of the head again

as soon as I get myself free. But it's just my fist now, which is good, because I'm unarmed because of the being all tied up. And just because you guys share a spare share a square, you don't have to roll the mischance.

You can hit him. Great, thanks, Troy. Thanks. So I roll to hit, and I hit him. And I will do five points of damage. Ugh. Why do you hate Lexington?

This is hurting my heart. I hate this spell that happened to me. It's like Marty Stauffer in The Man Who Loved Bears all over again. Pete is going to be all over us. But let's go to round two. It is Nestor's turn. Nestor, you hear

a wolf howl under pain. You are in a fog cloud. Metro will explain what she did so that Nestor and Baron know they have sitting ducks. What do you say? I reverse gravity.

They should be flying up in the air. Just hit them before they get down. Okay. I use more technical language. Yeah, unfortunately, because of the cloud, you can't see anything. You can't see your hand in front of your face. Actually, I would say,

I'm out of the cloud, but the cloud, they're high enough that I could probably see above the cloud. Right? Where you're out of the cloud but the cloud they're high enough that I could probably see above the cloud right? where you're out of the cloud the one that is hasn't started to levitate down yet I would say that you might be able to see them and I would have seen the other one start to levitate down

because I went I moved out of the cloud before yeah you can no longer see that one there's an argument to be made that you could see the other one but I haven't made it yet. Okay. It's a 20-foot radius, right? So it's like a 20-foot sphere. Yeah, yeah.

Do I have enough information to process to allow me to take an attack against the target with full concealment based on what Metra said? God, that's tricky. You could also delay and the cloud will be gone at the cloud giant's turn.

Okay. Thank you, because I didn't want to make that ruling that wasn't in your favor, but it's hard. Metra just cast this, you have no idea where they are. You have a general sense. So what I would have you do is roll a d100 to see if you could... I don't even know. I have a general sense. So what I would have you do is roll a D100 to see if you could... I don't even know. I don't even know.

Well, I mean, it's... We have been in combat a number of times. I would imagine that these characters have a certain shorthand between them. They're used to working together. It's a massive target.

And Nestor is experienced enough that I think he would at least get a chance to do it. Yeah, I mean, it's already a 50% mischance. I guess it's just like, I'm trying to imagine you standing in this cloud. You'd just be firing into the air. I almost feel like there should be another mischance because you don't even know where this guy is. Well, she could say, like, aim at 2 o'clock. That's true. Like, Metro flows and she could coach you.

Yeah, that's fair. You're already getting killed by the 50% missed chance. It's not like it's invisible. I'm going to wait anyway. That's probably smart. I'm interested to see what Baron wants to do here. Baron, you're couched right in the sort of Tetris corner of this 20-foot radius fog cloud. I love being at the corner of Tetris Avenue and killing Giant Slayer's show o'clock.

Can Baron make any decisions? Does he have any visual information, or he is delaying the best thing for him as well? Well, the delaying would be the best thing. Okay. Because I guess where that one is up in the air there and you're standing on the edge of the cloud, you know, a five foot step to the north, you could probably unload on it, I think, based on this. All right. based on this.

All right, then Baron will take a five-foot step from the edge of the wisps of this cloud on this floating castle traveling towards the chapel and will unload on this giant that cast Levitate. This is the one that cast Levitate to get closer to the ground? No, this is the one that initially

put the fog cloud there. And yeah, I mean, if it was on the the ground there's no way i could give you that shot but where it's up and you're out of the cloud i'm gonna say that you can fire at it and how tall is the giant about 13 feet give a check i'm just thinking of the rule of pythagoras if i have it within touch range or not because it's floating in the air. Do you know what I mean? Matthew is our resident Pythagorean. It's 50 feet up, and you're 35 feet across. Give me your A squared plus B squared equals C squared. Matthew.

35 squared. Hold on. Oh, dear. What do I do? Let me get my pencil. I think he's definitely too far away, but this is fun. Yeah, I think so, too. I think he's definitely i think he's definitely too far away but this is i think so too i think he's out of touch i'm just curious if it's out of a range increment as well uh it's out of touch it's out of a single range it's not gonna be two it's not gonna be 80 feet away he's out of time all right so thank you skid he is uh 60 feet away we'll call it, has the crow flies. I'm going to delay and allow the cloud to move

and for these giants to get closer to us. Closer. So that I can be more effective. Closer. So delaying for the time being. Excellent. At that moment, you feel something,

hear something next to you, that you don't see until it's right directly next to you. It is the Lang Spider that escaped from the tower. Oh no! I forgot about

that Lang Spider! It crawls up from underneath the platform And it fires a web Directly at you to ensnare You oh this is so Bad this will be against touch AC natural 20 Oh jeez

Well this is interesting Uh It's not a Damage it's not a damage It's just a ranged attack Yeah, if it does no damage Then it doesn't It doesn't have a critical effect

It's just an auto hit Just making sure Yep, automatic hit So you are entangled in a web Okay Give yourself the entangled condition You've got a couple options If you want to try to escape from it

You can burst with an escape artist Or strength check Okay. Give yourself the entangled condition. You've got a couple options if you want to try to escape from it. You can burst with an escape artist or strength check based on the HP of the web and all this other stuff. And then everything else is entangled. I think it's minus two to attack, minus four to death. Yeah, I would just stay entangled. Is there a radius to it? Or am I just entangled? It's a status condition. Wherever I am, I'm entangled?

Yes, until you break it. It's like the sticky webs are all over you. They're affecting all of your movements. You move at half speed. You can still take five-foot steps, because I looked this up, and the way it says it's like only difficult terrain in darkness. You can't take a five-foot step. This doesn't say that.

So you move at half speed, but you do take penalties to your AC and attacks as per the entangled condition. So Baron is right next to this big old Lang spider who just pshaw. And this thing is like hovering right above the ground, just walking on the air. Weird. Okay, I will act then. Okay, it is your turn. The Lang spider entangles me, shoots this web at me. There is still a cloud on the edge of it.

I will Swift Action, cast Burst of Speed, which will give me a 20 foot bonus to my range. So I should be able to move 40 feet. Does that action have any somatic components? It's a swift action spell that does not provoke. Thank you. Okay. Swift action.

So... But you still have to move half speed. And with the extra 20 foot bonus to my thing, I should be able to get directly next to metro with this now that will provoke um it won't provoke because burst of speed allows you to move without provoking attacks of opportunity from your enemies oh all squares are just the first square all squares yeah that's what the spell is it's like it's a quick movement away from your movement all movement does not provoke attacks of opportunity.

And you can remove. You can move. I move straight through the space of creatures that are larger than you are. Okay. So that adds 20 feet to your hab speed. So you're able to get out of there. Yep. I move twice, basically.

Oh, I move once. That's 40 feet. So I might go on. It has me at 15 feet now with the boots of springing and striding. So that gets me 35 feet, which gets me to there. I mean, I could... You're right next to Metra on the other side of the fog cloud. And I can't see it through the fog cloud.

Right. That's fine. I could have gotten a shot off against it, I guess. But I'm 10, 15, 20, 25. Yep. That's about right. Okay. All right.

So you stand directly next to Mektra and get the hell out of there. All right. It is the cloud giant that initially casts Fog Cloud's turn. So the Fog Cloud disappears. It does until he casts it again. And casts it directly on top of all of you oh wow is this do we know if this is at will for them is this at will fog cloud or do they have a limit to how many times they can do it in a day

you've surely rolled this knowledge check before yeah Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Thank you for bringing that up. Obscuring Mist is at will. Fog Cloud is once per day, so I can't do that. Ooh, awesome! Nice. So that cloud's gone. Fog Cloud is gone.

He will cast Obscuring Mist on himself. Okay. This is good. Try to save his life, but he will have to remain floating up there, unfortunately, because casting Obscuring Mist was his action,

and that will also cloud, put a cloud around his buddy, but not around the spider. Who is now dead. Who is now going to die. But now I know. He's like, wait, wait, wait, man. Nestor?

Would you like to feast? That was Cloudtide 2's turn, and now it is Mettra's turn. I'm going to take my turn. Oh, that's right, Nestor. You held your action. Alright, let me throw you and change you up in the initiative order. Go ahead, Nestor. Oh, that's a cop.

That's a cop. There you are. Makes five foot step back, and does a full attack on the Leng spider. Oh, man. Kesta! First attack, deadly aim, rapid shot, etc. 32 to hit? 32 is a hit. And that is, with many shots. That is

65 points of damage. Okay. Second attack. Ooh, netty 18. What's the total on that? 28 points of damage. Okay, and what was the total to hit? The total was...

45. Okay. Does that hit? Oh, yeah. All right. Third attack. That is a 36 to hit. 36 to hit.

33 points of damage. Okay. All right. Fourth attack. Big round. 36 is a hit uh 33 points of damage okay alright fourth attack big round uh it's probably a miss with a 20 that's a miss final attack uh

is a 24 that's a miss as well uh it's always nice when you like get that really high roll on the final one to get it but three big hits and now maybe there's something that Metra can do, Metra you're up there is indeed something I can do

Metra will fire off a fireball which will burn away the obscuring yes and hit all three of these creatures can they all please roll a roll oh my goodness. That is phenomenal! Okay, and you are certain that hits all of them, right?

Because of, don't forget, one of them is 50 feet in the air. One of them is 30 feet in the air. It's a 20-foot radius, so it's a ball. So it definitely doesn't hit all of them. It definitely would hit all of them. It's because it's 40 feet in... Radius is 40 feet. Radius is 20 feet.

It's 40 feet in diameter. It can explode in mid-air. You designate the point. Wouldn't the one that's 50 feet up, though, then not get hit? No, because he's only 20... There's a 40-foot ball. If you designate the point in air between the spider

and the guy that's 50 feet up. You said it was 30. Wait, I thought you were targeting the two cloud giants. I am, but I'm also going to get the spider. I can get... I don't think you can get the highest cloud giant. The spider is not zero feet tall, Troy. It's a huge creature. I understand. I'm saying you can either hit two of the cloud giants.

That's really... If you want to hit multiple creatures, that's all you can do. You can either hit the spider or both of the cloud giants and i'm saying i can hit all three based on where i put where i put the and i disagree because the spider is zero is not how tall is the spider i don't know it's huge so it's at least 10 feet tall right i hear what you're saying i've made my ruling you can either hit the two cloud giants or the spider okay well i'm gonna stick by if you're really going to stick with it, I'll stick with that. I'll let the boards take care of that argument. Yeah.

Sorry, they'll torture Troy plenty enough for you. Two cloud giants. Give me a reflex save. Okay. Reflex save on the cloud giant. So the one that's 50 feet up, 21. Pass. Oh, pass.

All right, then the other one. uh, actually the other one rolled a 20, uh, 20. Okay, so the Obscuring Mist is gone, and let me just roll the damage. Did they both pass? You said 20, 28, right? No, 20. No, 20 and 21. Both pass, yeah. Okay.

So you're going to take, they to take 16 points of fire damage. All right, 16 points of fire damage. And let me see if they take any extra, if they're sensitive to fire. Okay. You said 16? 16. Okay. And Obscuring Mist, that burns away Obscuring Mist like it would a Fog Cloud.

Yes. Actually, I can't burn away a fog cloud. I can burn away what I'm screaming at. Fog clouds you can sweep away with the wind. Sweep away, baby, sweep away. All right, that is Metra's turn. The cloud giant that moved downward. So now this is interesting.

I also take a five-foot step. Oh, this is interesting. I also take a five foot step. Oh, I'm sorry. Okay, five foot step. Let me ask you this. That reverse gravity is in an area, right? Like if he is able to, now that he's cast levitate on himself, I would argue,

and I want to see what you think, use the wall of the shrine to push himself out of the well with the levitate. Just like you can use handholds to move horizontally, I would argue with the strength of this giant, he could push himself out and fall the other 20 feet. I think that's fair. And he would either take 2d6 damage

if I can't pass a most likely impossible acrobatics thing, which may also leave him prone. Correct. This is... Prone. This is shitting. And just a few feet away from a gun. From a gun, yeah.

A loaded gun. They're just sitting ducks here, floating in the air, though. Yeah. He could also use the wall to pull himself into the space between the towers and fall to his death. That's also an option.

Yeah. You know what I think? You know, that's and fall to his death. That's also an option. That's more of the hero's death he's probably looking for. Since he didn't cast his fog cloud, I'll have him cast his fog cloud on the party, just so he has some more time to think, and then he'll move 20 more feet down with Levitate

keeping... He's now 10 feet away from the floor. That's what he's going to do. They're in a bad spot here. It seems like they can't find a way in, reverse gravity. They weren't planning on that. So,

now it is Sir Wilster, and Sir Will, give me a D100 roll. Here comes the D100 from your local paladin. 56. You know that 86 is coming. That is deal 1d8 points of damage to self. Wonderful.

I'll take that. I'll take that over a tech nearest creature. So that is 7 points of damage to self. He's just like, why did I hit you, Lexington? I'm so mad at myself. Bang. Punches himself in the jaw This is so sad

I really have to stop doing this He has no idea there's a combat going on He's like, why are we not going to the shrine? Smacks himself Okay, it is the spider's turn The spider will crawl into the fog here Right next to Nestor, who's up front. And he will do a

vital strike on Nestor at a 50%—excuse me, at a 20% mischance. I'll get my D100 and roll these together, like our old buddy Tom used to do. Here we go. Old buddy Tom. Natural 20, Here we go. Old buddy Tom.

Natural 20 and an 82 on the concealment. Now this is with vital strike so I don't think it... We've done this before. It doesn't double twice. Remember? I crit on a vital strike once. Do you guys remember how it works? Let me see if I confirm

I know how it works. I think I know how it works. Okay. I think I know how it works. I confirm with a 37. Okay. All right, so let's make sure we get this right, because this is a lot of damage. All right, so what's the damage?

Just tell me the vital strike damage non-created. Wait, what? What is the damage? Like, what are you rolling? Oh, 6d6 plus 8. And you would normally be 3d6 plus 8? Yes, so it's 9d6 plus 16? Correct.

Okay. That's easy enough. Yeah, it's not 12d6, it's 9d6. Plus 16. Is that all? Jeepers. 9d6 plus 16. Equals?

46 points of damage. Okay. Hmm. Does that seem low or high? No, that is, I was thinking about it. I thought it seemed low, but it's actually pretty good. It's actually right on. 96 plus 16. Yep, that is, I was thinking about it, I thought it seemed low, but it's actually pretty good. It's actually right on. 96 plus 16. Yep, that's correct.

Making sure, yeah, it's times two crit. If you remember when you fought these things, they make weapons out of their webs. So he's hitting Nestor with a web that is shaped like a masterwork light flail. That's so cool. And where it's not a named creature, we won a masterwork light flail. That's so cool. Uh, and where it's not a named creature, we won't pull a John ski, but now this thing is right next to Nestor.

You know, it's a, a, a huge creature. So it's going to have a lot of reach. This is, uh, going to be interesting here.

We're in round three and it's Baron's turn. Baron is back in the cloud. Baron is tempted to shoot out into the mist. I cannot use sight to locate a target, but I could use the sound of the Ling Spider attacking and maybe Nestor's Grimace at it to use sound to shoot in the general direction. But after missing the Naga like I did

with those 50% concealment chances, I don't want to risk it. The only thing Baron can do that makes sense in this high-stakes environment is to delay. I feel like Joe O'Brien. A beard is spouted out. My eyes have turned blue. I'm now really wanting some bread and cheese. I'm ready.

I'm ready to wait. Okay. And you can have AOOs against a creature with concealment, but not with total concealment? Does that sound right? You can have A-O... Well, you can have an A-O-O against a creature with total concealment, because you can't see them.

Right. Concealment doesn't affect A-O-Os the way... It's cover that you can't have, that you can't do an A-O-O. No, but total concealment, you can't take an A-O-O. I think regular concealment you can. Sure, but I think total concealment, you can't attack them at all. You know what I mean?'s not really an a 50 mischance uh yeah yeah you can't you can't really you can talk to a square that they're in yeah but you're targeting the square

they're in technically like oh if you read the language of total concealment it says a creature with total concealment cannot be targeted uh but you can do a 50% mischance. Right. I'm saying, like, see where Metra's standing? I have to look up what the range is on this spider. But say Metra is within range. If Metra was to fire a bow, it can't take an AOO against Metra. Because it can't even see that she's there.

Right. It doesn't even know. Yeah. But Nestor being right next to the spider, it could. It can take an AOO at a 20% miss chance. Great. Okay. That was Baron.

You're holding, you said, Baron? Holding until that fog cloud disperses. Going to the Joe O'Brien School of Tactics. All right. It is Cloud Giant 2's turn. This is the guy that's still 50 feet up. He hates his life, and he wishes he had stormed another castle. God, it's so tricky.

He has nothing he can push off of. So I can either obscure myself again, but that'll be gone. Or start to levitate downward. I'm gonna... God, I'm gonna regret this later. I'm gonna cast levitate and start moving down. He'll move down 20 feet. So the guy to the south is 10 feet above the ground.

And the guy to the north is 10 feet above the ground, and the guy to the north is 30 feet above the ground. Reverse gravity was great, Metro. It is Nestor's turn. I hate doing this with the spider right there, but I think he's also going to hold until the cloud dissipates. Yep, yep. Metro, what about you? Same thing? I to hold until the cloud dissipates. Yep, yep. Metro, what about you? Same thing? I'll hold until the cloud dissipates.

I will ready an action. The instant the cloud dissipates, I will cast a spell. That way I can interrupt the cloud giant's action. Okay. Now, what do you guys think? So it's that cloud giant's turn does the cloud uh disappear at the beginning of his turn or the end of his turn the beginning of his turn it showed up in the middle of his turn which is essentially the beginning because if it's one round the round is the new round begins when it's his turn at the start of his turn right okay well then the

cloud dissipates and uh metro you are ready to action takes off first i cast chain lightning nice okay oh dear uh so i need each of them to roll a reflex save okay can you roll me a concentration check to avoid an attack of opportunity. Yeah. From LeSpider. You got it. How does a 35 suit you? What is it supposed to be? Against the CMD of the creature?

This is what I never know. Could I have just rolled the cast defensively? Because I can do that too. Yeah, just roll the cast defensively. Yeah. Then I get it on there. You would have known to do that, so that's fine. And that's automatic for you?

As long as I don't roll a natural one, I get it at this level. Okay, well, natural one is an automatic fail for that. So if it's not a numeric fail, then you cast away. Go ahead and give me spell resistance on the spider. All righty. And then it's reflex saves for the other? Yes, reflex saves for everybody. Okay. Spell resistance

is a 33. Okay, that passes. He rolled a 26 on his reflex save. That passes. And then a 13 for the guy up top, and a 24 for the guy down the bottom. Pass. So let me give you the damage.

Okay, so this is easy. For the guy that failed, 50 points of damage. Okay. And for the two that passed, 25 points of damage. 50 and 25. Okay. Great spell. Great use.

Okay. That is your action. Do you want to move at all? I can. I'm not ready. Because I would like to. Sorry, this is Spider. This is your action. Do you want to move at all? I can't. I readied. Because I would like to. Sorry, the spider's character sheet is larger than Baron's. Just making sure I got through it.

Okay. Great. All right. Baron and Nestor, would you like to take actions? Yeah, I'll take my turn. Okay. That's all right. Yeah, I'll take my turn. Okay. That's all right. I can try to kill the spider that's on you

unless you have a good way of getting up first. Actually, I wanted you to go first because then I wouldn't care. And I cannot five foot step while entangled, right? You can. You can. Oh, great. That's my choice.

And I will be super careful and five foot step further away from the spider and will unleash a full attack. But my I'm hitting against touch AC at this range. However, all of my two hits are lowered by being entangled. So let's see what happens. This will be interesting. I'm going to.

I think that you're going to hit on anything that isn't a misfire. Once again, Graham, it is not going to be interesting. I would tell me the result of every single roll. Really? As a high touch? A sizzle? After fighting them, am I able to put Bane on myself kind of automatically? Knowing what they are

and discussing them over several days having seen them and us. I can't remember if you ever put Bane on the first time, so yeah. I mean, I could shout out to Metra to try and identify them i don't know who can identify we did identify them or not yeah unfortunately i don't remember either uh so no just kill it grant let's kill it can someone identify it for me he says free action wise sir will turns and says identify what okay here it comes. Spider, stupid.

The first attack is going to be a 24 against Touch AC. That is a hit. Nice. 24 points of damage on the first attack. Okay. This thing has to be on its last spider legs. Yeah, it's got to crawl up in a ball in the corner soon. That's a hit. What was the second one? curl up and a ball in the corner soon. That's a hit. What was the second one? Higher than

22? Higher than the previous one. That is a 26 points of damage on the second attack. 26 points of damage on the second attack. Okay. This is the danger zone. This is where it starts dropping. Then 18 against that, JC. That's a miss. He does have a high touch.

I was cursed. I just rolled. Here comes the final attack That's a miss Oh no When was the last time Grant missed And didn't misfire What a wily creature I need someone to identify

This spider It would give me an additional plus two Mechanically speaking against it With my bane. Baron yells out against the 21-mile-an-hour winds. All right, Nestor, what are you thinking? You know you're going to provoke at least once unless you do a full withdraw. I'm not.

I'm just going to step back. I don't know. It's a big purple fucking spider. I'm no expert. And he's going to take a five-foot step back. We'll still incur, And he's going to take a five foot step back. We'll still incur, but he's going to do a full attack. Okay, I'll roll the attack of opportunity.

This is again with this masterwork light flail. Almost another crit. That's a 36 to hit. Okay. And Nestor will take 20 points of damage. Natural one. Oh, no.

On the multi-shot. Come on. To confirm. Natty 19. Okay. Something in the 40s that is not a fumble. Sucks. Okay, second attack. Natural fucking one.

Are you kidding me? Hey, Eric! Shout out to Eric at North Foundry. It's amazing dice. I just love the way that they feel in your hand and the way they look. The color's nice. Everything except the numbers that show up

when you roll them random. Amazing. 19 again on the confirmed. Everything except the numbers that show up when you roll them randomly. Amazing. Two confirmed scores. 19 again on the confirmed. The bad news is it has combat reflexes. It takes another attack of opportunity. 25. That's a miss.

That's a miss. Beautiful. Do combat reflexes ever decrease in their bonus to hit to like actual attacks, or is it always full base attack bonus? I thought about that for two seconds. I think it's always at your highest base attack bonus. Wow. I never thought about that before. An attack of opportunity is always your highest base attack bonus, and all a combat reflex does is let you take more attacks of opportunity.

Wow. Right. So, Skip, you've taken two attacks. You've provoked twice. Are you going to roll the dice again? 30 to hit on the third attack. That is a miss, and it takes a third attack of opportunity.

That is going to be a 27 to hit. That is a hit. That is a hit. And it does. That is a miss. 22 points of damage. Okay.

Alright, fourth attack. Metro, I just don't know why you didn't include the spider in the fireball. Will you stop it? That's what's really bothering me now. With the amount of damage it's doing to Nestor, you could have really... Whatever.

Well, you know, the spider was zero feet high, Joe, so it was impossible. It is a horrifying-looking, completely flat creature. It's flat as can be flat. No wonder Nestor can't hit it. Nestor, what's your roll on that? That's not a miss. And that's another attack of opportunity.

That is going to be a miss. 24. All right. Again, Eric, thanks. I hope you're Again, Eric, thanks I consider you a good friend Glad I've been able to get a chance to know you At the conventions You're a really good guy

It really does It's escalated It's personal I'm saying how much I enjoy his company He's a great guy Nestor, do you have any more attacks? It's personal. No, I'm just kidding. I'm saying how much I enjoy his company. He's a great guy. Nestor, do you have any more attacks? I do, but I'm not going to take it.

Okay. All right, so Nestor just... Nothing. And it takes about 40 more points of damage out of Nestor in the process. Now that Cloud Giant gets to act. It actually should have acted before Baron and Nestor in the process. Now that cloud giant gets to act. It actually should have acted before Baron and Nestor, but what it's going to do is use the final point of levitation or its final movement

of the levitation to get down to the ground and come out of the reverse gravity. And immediately spring back up in the air. No, I'm kidding. That would be really funny. Well, here in the air. No, I'm kidding. That would be really funny. Well, here's the thing. At what orientation is his body?

Can you reorient yourself? Do you have the mobility and the maneuverability to do that while you're levitating? Acrobatics check. Yeah, he has got a strength of 26. He comes down to the ground, and he pushes himself through the gravity field. And he's not going to be within range to hit, but he's out of it. Or we could take 30 minutes to talk about the physics of it and ruin this.

I like that. Can we call a friend? Can we call a physics friend? We have Neil deGrasse Tyson. It's times like this. Can we get Neil on the line? It the line it's time i just want to play blades of the dark so so neil uh we're let's we're playing a game of pretend uh me and my friends and we're in a flying castle uh what happens when we keep auditioning all these professional actors and gamers to be on the show. We need to start engaging with more physicists.

Yes. We do need a scientist. Or just somebody who has, like, college-level physics. Or, yeah, anyone who's gone to college. None of us have that. I certainly do not have college-level physics. Any college graduates out there, feel free to apply. Paizo should have brought that on when they wrote the book.

They should have hired this. That's not our job. Alright, so this guy, he's out of this nonsense, but I'm going to say he cannot walk further up to get within melee range of the party. I guess I could throw a rock,

but that's so lame. That's kind of all I can do. Where's the rock? He's got a little pouch on his side that carries rocks. It says it in the book. Really? Yeah, rock pouch. Rock pouch. All these giants, they have rocks.

I'm like, where'd they get these rocks? They got a rock pouch. Doesn't that give you bruises when you're walking around all day? Boom, boom, boom, and you're sad That's tough, he's a giant Let's see here You know, actually He is just

I don't think a rock is going to quite do it for him So he is going to Cast Obscuring Mist To protect his allies I wasn't worried about Sir Will Just dying from getting smashed to death By a cloud giant cast Obscuring Mist to protect his allies. I wasn't worried about Sir Will just dying from getting smashed to death by a cloud giant, because I just figured you guys would kill him so fast.

But this Obscuring Mist really did foul things up. And now it is a couple crits away. Sir Will can't defend himself, you know what I mean? Well, it is Sir Will's turn. Let's see if he is going to

attack a friend. Attack a friend. Here we go. So what a bit! Oh, I think I got it, buddy. Nope. 74. I thought that the 70 was a 0. Or is it 10, rather? 74. Deal 1d8 points

of damage to self. Uh, he just keeps harming himself. Uh, and he does six points of damage to himself. Six points of damage to himself. It is round four. And because of all the movement in initiative, it is the Lang Spider's turn. And the Lang Spider is going to do a full attack on Nestor.

Oh dear. That's going to be three attacks with a flail and a bite. Alright, I'll lay out the bite first. Miss with a 20. Okay. That might a 20. Okay. That might have poison and stuff. Flail number one. 36 to hit.

Yep. Oh boy. Alright. Alright. 17 points of damage. Second flail. Natural one. Hey!

Fantastic! Confirm that! Huge to confirm. Confirmed with an 18. Nice! Amazing! Confirmed fumble. You can call it a melee attack

Even though it's made of webs It counts as a weapon Okay this one from Ryan In Banger, Maine Be cool Ryan Be cool This one's called At the Whim of the Lantern King Galarian's infamous trickster god

The Lantern King has decided to's infamous trickster god, the Lantern King, has decided to have a merry just at your expense and sends a quickling who materializes and hurls a banana cream pie at your face before disappearing from the scene entirely, leaving only the pie and the echo of his manic giggles. Your attack misses wildly as you are blinded by the pie and fall prone.

A reflex save negates the prone condition and the blindness can be removed by spending a move action to wipe the pie out of your eye 35 on the reflex so he's not prone so he's not prone and then he's blind and he can spend a move

action but he can't because he already attacked twice so now he's at 50% miss chance for any additional attacks he has one more attack because that was his third after missing on the bite. I'm just making sure he doesn't have like, you know, blindsight or anything like that. Oh, yeah.

By the pie. Blind sense. Blind fight. Yeah. No, she's going to be a 50% miss chance. Nice. Boop, boop, boop. Okay. Last attack. Lowest base attack bonus. Probably going to be a 50% miss chance boop boop boop okay last attack lowest base attack bonus probably gonna be a miss anyways and it

is yes alright kill that spider already oh my god I hate the spider so much he looks ridiculous right now he's got a banana cream behind his face he five foot steps just to close on you guys a little bit and get a little ridiculous right now. He's got a banana cream pie in his face. He five-foot steps

just to close on you guys a little bit and get a little tiny bit in the obscuring mist. We're into round four here. It is Cloud Giant 2's turn. He moves 20 feet further down, so he is 10 feet away,

and he can't do anything good, right? I guess he could cast Obscuring Mist, but that's just gonna get messy. But you know what? That is what he'll do. Because his friends is going to go away. So now it is

Metra's turn. Metra, we need a big round from you. Metra will take a five foot step away from the spider. I'm out of range there, right? Uh-huh. I can't take any of those right now anyway. It's blind. That's true. I'll also take the five foot step and I will shoot off a fireball and burn away

both obscuring mists and deal damage to all three creatures. Oh, beautiful. Okay. So can I have a reflex save? And not Sir Willamette? No, I'll put it back behind them. Okay. Remind me, what is this? You're doing Fireball again? Fireball again. Burn away the miss. Hit all three. Give me a reflex

save. Alright, give me a spell resistance for the spider. True, true, true. He made his reflex save with a 32. But the Cloud Giants both failed. 36 on the spell resistance? That's good.

So half for the spider, full for the cloud giants. Okay. 36 for each of the cloud giants and 18 for the spider. Fire damage. And the mists are gone. And the mists are gone. Big, big round there.

Yeah, I don't know. That might be a bad thing. Well, we'll see. The ranged characters, that's great. But without the mist, they're going to be able to full attack. How many hit points does that fucking spider have? Yeah, it's a fake, made-up

spider with added made-up hit points. It couldn't be more obvious. Couldn't be more obvious. Metro, can you also try and identify on that spider while you're at it? Hold on. I'm looking up Langsplater right now at T20 PFS. Get out of there!

Is it knowledge planes? It says it has 96 hit points. What the hell? It's definitely not the same one, then. You said knowledge. No, knowledge arcana arcana well magical beast magical beast what is magical beast knowledge arcana okay great that's better crack die okay uh 27 all right

that's enough to let you know so that Baron can add his pain it's an extra planar magical beast it's an extra planar magical beast it's an extra planar magical beast and it is Baron's giant fucking spider shoot it I would have guessed that but I can't do that mechanically thanks Metra

you probably can actually and then it would either just work or not work I said Baron I would get sneak attack against it if you can hit the giants instead i can i can finish off the spider probably oh because it can't ao you right and i yeah and the giants are about to swarm okay yeah yep that's within range the one closest to us are giants um coming down on us all right nester i trust you. Here it comes. First attack

is going to be a hit with a 26 against Touch AC and some sweet Bane damage. Oh, we're talking almost boxcars. That's going to be 31 points of damage against the giant closest to us. Okay. 31 points of damage to the giant

that is on the ground approaching Sir Will. Yep. And the second attack will also hit against Touch Eleven. Come on, dude! 33 points of damage against that said same giant. Just no whammies? No whammies! Come on, baby!

You know what the best part of this is? That he's definitely now going to attack you and not Sir Will because of how dangerous you are. So, Greg, this is just so brave of you. Very brave. 27 points on the third attack. Okay. The final attack comes out now. That's 11 against Touch AC.

Maybe. That is good. They have a very low touch. Okay, here it comes. Come on, baby. Come on, baby. 29 points of damage. And he's dead.

Yes! Oh, that was the guy who could fight the footstep and do a full attack on Sir Will. So, well done. Yeah, that would have been... I mean, that would have been so, so bad. Those things are hitting for 4d6 plus 36 on every single hit. That's without a crit. That's without a crit.

And Sir Will is a lot of my AC that I can get super high is based on a couple actions need to get it there, some spells. So his AC is so low that I'm sure anything over a natural 1 would hit. I want a scene of this of just these ropes around Sir Will's feet he's unable to do anything he looks totally dazed and confused Nestor's battered and

bloody an explosion is going off in the background from Metra and Baron entangled in webs like barely shooting this giant's head off as it's swinging down at Sir Will it's amazing he's like shooting from the's head off as it's swinging down at Sir Will. It's amazing. He's shooting from the hip

because he can't raise his arms all the way with the spiderwebs around him. So cool. Absolutely huge there. Even with the penalties to attack, you're able to take this guy down. Two enemies left in the field, and it's Nestor's turn.

Nestor calmly and deliberately pulls two arrows from his magical quiver. Draws them back, pointing right at the spider's head. All the while singing, Itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout. That is a 38 against Touch AC. 38 against Touch AC. 38 against Touch AC. It is blinded from the stupid cream pie,

so it can't take an A-O-O. And that is a hit. It's AC. 80 points of damage. 80 points of damage? I mean, its AC went down by over 10 because of the blinded condition. And you kill the Langston.

Yes! Yes! He's spider. Because of the blinded condition. And you kill the Langston. Yes! There he is. On you. He's a spider. Even better, you now still have the rest of your attacks for the one remaining enemy. I do. Okay.

And Swift Action Study targets. Going to switch his focus to the other remaining cloud giant. First attack is a 41. 41's a hit. 23 points of damage. 24 points of damage. Okay.

Third attack. 30. 30 is a hit. Yep. 28 points of damage. Okay. All right. Fourth attack.

27. That's a miss. 28. Sorry, 28. Unfortunately, that is me. I keep forgetting about my focus killer thing. Yeah, no, that's a hit. 27 points of damage. Guys, AC, that's a hit. 27 points of damage.

AC 28, guys. AC, send it down the line. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. AC 28. Troy is just like dying inside. I always forget this stuff. He's still alive.

Okay. And final attack. Ah, crack that. Oh, that is a hit with an 80-17. Yep. 32 points of damage And he is dead as well Yes! Yes!

Yes You wanna see me act normally now? I'll just roll immediately and act normally Well Joe, it is your turn It is my turn, oh I didn't I harmed myself yet again with a 64. We dogpile on Sir Will and tie him up again. Stop hitting yourself!

I'm trying to hit myself! As you dogpile on Sir Will to tie him up again, as you will need to do, as every six seconds a new condition will affect him, you do so as this bubbling magma continues to roil to your right, and the open shrine stands before you. And we'll see you next week.

Oh, yes! Yes! Let us find Renfall! Rid ourselves of this terrible condition. I'm going to eat the pie. Bye. Bye! eat the pie thanks for listening to the glass cannon. For more podcasts and live streams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. And for exclusive shows and content you can't find anywhere else,

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