The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 314 - Chapeled Condition

Episode Date: February 8, 2022

With the platform clear of enemies, the heroes approach the chapel. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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It's like barefoot water skiing while dolphins click with glee. Whoa, let me try. Nah, it's like gliding on a gondola through waving waters as a mermaid sings. Nah, it's like Coca-Cola with a refreshing burst of raspberry and spiced flavors. Yeah. Try new Coca-Cola Spiced today. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast.

Three cloud giant veterans come running out, but then the passageway that you walked on to get to this platform turns into bubbling lava. With no path forward. So Metra is going to cast reverse gravity. Oh shit. He has nothing to grab onto so he doesn't get a reflex save. The sorcerer took matters into her own hands. You feel something.

Hear something next to you that you don't see until it's right directly next to you. It is't see until it's right directly next to you. It is the Leng spider that escaped from the tower. Oh no! And when a deadly foe returned

all the while seeing the itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout. 38 against touch AC. 38 against touch AC. It is blinded from the stupid cream pie so it can't take an ao this layer washed the spider out 80 points of damage i mean it's ac went down by over 10 and you kill the lengths yeah the adventure continues this bubbling magma continues to roil to your right, and the

open shrine stands before you. Now. Let's talk about the thing that's on the minds of all the fans of the Glass Cannon podcast. The Super Bowl. That's right. It's Superbowl. That's right. It's Superbowl week. And we know there's a huge crossover between people who enjoy our content. Football fans. Let's kick it over to Matthew Capitacazza for his big picks.

Matthew, who do you like? Who's playing in the Super Bowl this year? Knew that was going to happen. That's why I always trust your picks. Come in unbiased. The over or the under?

I feel like I actually have, back when we did Super Bowl parties at Joe's place, I feel like I won money every year. I think you did. On the random boxes? Me or Caitlin won money on the i won money like every year i think you did on the random boxes me or caitlin won money on the random boxes every year yeah well that takes a certain amount of skill no i think i just i never i why would i aspire to make any picks when i could win money without doing any work whatsoever yeah those were good times. We used to have some real barn burners at Joe's place.

That was great. Great times. Real barn burners. Those were fun, man. I used to have a whole room. I used to convert a bedroom into a food room. Did you cook Erin out of her room when she was the roommate? Yeah.

Erin was my roommate. And I was like, can I please use your room just for food? I would cover everything with tablecloths and sheets and just like run food over every bureau and desk. Remember all different dips with like their names for each dip? It was at that moment she thought, that's the man I want to marry. That's how I know he's the one's how i know he's the one now i know he's the one oh man i miss those parties those were a good time you could just walk home stumble home after nine and a half hours of boozing and eating cheese that's one of my

first memories of of meeting you matthew is that is that accurate i i feel like it was like caitlin brought you to a super bowl party that's like one of the first memories of meeting you, Matthew. Is that accurate? I feel like it was like Caitlin brought you to a Super Bowl party. That's like one of the first times I remember hanging out with you. I feel like we met like on a trip to L&B that Aaron brought you along for. I just remember you, I think the first time I met you, you sat on the subway for like an hour's long ride reading a fantasy novel. I'm not talking to anybody. That sounds like me. That is definitely the first time

i met troy because aaron aaron invited kaylin and kaylin was like you're coming with me and i was like god and then i because we had to like stake out territory on the couch because this quote unquote the seats went fast yeah i would show up around 11 a.m for us for a 6 30 p.m kickoff because i didn't want to want to lay my claim and start laying down a nice base coat on my stomach. Who was it that just like passed out on my couch at a Super Bowl party? I feel like it was like a friend of yours, Troy. Is this not a – No.

Is this a memory for anybody? I think it – was it Nick Lowe's brother or something? Yes, that's who it was. It was Nick Lowe's brother or something yes that's who it was it was nick lowe's brother just completely passed out asleep he didn't know anybody at the party and nobody was at a super bowl party or was that a new year's party i don't think it was super bowl or was it my one of my christmas parties because it happened there too nick lowe's brother. That's right.

Good call. Nick was just like, it's best to just leave him there until he sleeps it off. I mean, our good buddy Woody was the, is the king of falling asleep at parties. Like that's when you know the party's about to wind down. Once you look over and see if Dave Woody has got his eyes closed. I saw Dave Woody the other day and he was like,

I once fell asleep in a bar standing up, not leaning on anything. Like a giraffe? That's what I said. I said like a giraffe. I watched Dave Woody asleep, standing up, not leaning on anything, at your wedding, Joe, at the bar after your wedding. Asleep, standing up, not doing anything at your wedding, Joe. At the bar after your wedding.

It's amazing. He said, his quote was, I said to my wife, I said, I think I might be a narcoleptic. She said, no, you're not. You're just a drunk. That sounds like an old Rodney Dangerfield joke. I told my wife. I seem to remember Donald just standing next to him, just like, having a drink.

Being like, he'll be fine. Feel free to hang your coat on him. Oh, boy. Yeah, oh, God. But those Super Bowl parties were good times. You'd get the Super Bowl squares going. We'd find a way to sell 100 of them in an hour and a half. There'd be so much food, so many beers.

But you always knew it was polite to start leaving when Joe would start cleaning up and the party was still going on. I think he wants us to go. Yeah. I feel – I've always been excited about it. I think he wants us to go. Yeah. I feel I've always been excited about it. I hosted for many, many years. I just feel like it's a great American tradition. I love the Superbowl party.

And I think that like, maybe there's not a lot of crossover of football fans and, and glass kind of podcast fans, but I think that a decent amount of you must go to Superbowl parties, right? Like Superbowl parties are not just for football fans. It's just for, you know, it's like it's having a Fourth of July party in the dead of winter. Like that's that's essentially what it is.

You need something to look forward to during these cold months. And that's a time just just to get together as Americans and have a good time. And, you know, I was just thinking about this. The last one that we had was at my place. And I don't know if it's because you had just had Gwen or Aaron was pregnant or whatnot, but I remember we had the last one at my place because it was Linus' introduction to everyone.

We had Linus and we'd only had him for like three days and everybody came over and they were like, oh, Linus. But that was the last one. Made a big fuss. And we've never hung out in person since. That was the last time we hung out in person. Yeah, it's just fantastic. Oh, so we did, I guess it's a week and a half ago now, we did Gloomhaven game night.

We did the live Gloomhaven. How fun was that, by the way? I cannot wait to do that again. If you missed the stream, I mean, check out the VOD. It was just so much fun, and we really want to do it again. But right before we streamed Saturday night, McDermott was on, and we were doing our tech warm-up. I don't know if you guys were in there yet,

but he rattled off the halftime show of the Super Bowl. You know who's lined up for the halftime show of the Superbowl. Did you, you know, who's lined up for the halftime show of the Superbowl, right? I do. Yeah. It's like nine people I don't care about.

Well, yeah, it's nine, like hip hop and R and B artists, all this stuff from like the nineties. And so he, he lists off the people in the halftime show of the Superbowl. He's like,

I saw the list for the Superbowl halftime show and just thought, Oh my God, I'm so old. Cause it's like like that's who they're playing to now oh my god that's a used that's a that's a stacked list it is a stacked list but it used to be like when we would watch the super bowl it was like you know you too and like yeah you know uh prince like these would be the big acts and now the big acts are like the people we were listening to in college. And it's like, oh, dear, we're getting old. There was one Super Bowl that I didn't watch live because I just moved to L.A. And I was I had this opportunity to do this big acting program.

And if I did it, it was a week long and I would have to miss the Super Bowl. And I had never missed a Super Bowl since I was a child that didn't know what the Super Bowl was. And I debated, I debated. I'm like, you know what, I came out to LA to do this. I'm gonna have to just, I'm gonna have to skip it. So I was homeless. I was crashing at my buddy Francis's, if you've seen Cyberpunk Red Francis, I was sleeping on his floor until he got sick of me. And so I was like like can you just tape the super bowl and i'll watch it on monday and so i was able to not get the spoilers from anybody uh and i watched the super bowl and it was the one where prince did the halftime show and it was the greatest halftime show that was the greatest it is the greatest show it's so good do you know have you heard the story about when they heard it was gonna rain they got like they had to get everyone got on a big tech call and prince got on the call

and there everyone was like this is dangerous like what you know blah blah blah and he apparently he like leaned into the phone was like can you make it rain harder yeah that's so prince but it's funny too just like remembering back when i was a kid how completely lame the halftime shows were like they were so aggressively lame it was like carol channing there was what it was i'm just looking at the list here uh Charles Manning did a halftime show? Yeah. 1981, a Mardi Gras festival. Wow.

1985, a world of children's dreams. Oh, 1989, Super Bowl XXIII, bebop bamboozled featuring 3D effects. 23. Be bop bamboozled featuring 3D effects. Salute to New Orleans and 40th anniversary of Peanuts characters featuring trumpeter Pete Fountain, Doug Kershaw, and Irma

Thomas. This is the kind of shit that used to be like. Wow. Wow. And I think it was, I guess Michael Jackson was like the first like actual big name. Now it's a complete different story now it's so funny yeah I mean the commercials too now they show the commercials

the day before it's like watch the commercials Friday night like two days the best part is watching them live I don't want to watch them the day before he's spoiled for the commercials yeah you can't even pee though there's no time to pee because you're going to miss a good commercial that's the killer it's like you step away with a friend to have another roast beef sandwich you

know how it is matthew and then you come back to the room and you find out you missed the best commercial the whole super bowl you can't leave that's that's it's stressful really is uh and it's a fun gambling day i I mean, we gamble on everything. That was my first introduction to prop betting, player props. I only did that once a year at the Super Bowl. And it was just so fun to bet on all this weird stuff that a player would do.

How long the National Anthem's going to be? Yeah, how long the National Anthem... Or betting on the commercials. You can bet if the first commercial's a car commercial or a beer commercial. What color the Gatorade bath's gonna be it's fun to uh like the game could be a blow up but at the end you're like please be fruit punch gatorade yeah well this is also this is gonna be the first super bowl in a long time, several years, that I'll be able to just enjoy. Because almost the last eight or nine have involved either one or two teams that I absolutely despise.

Or the team that I truly despise, my own beloved Denver Broncos. I haven't really been able to enjoy. Because it's been Kansas City, the Patriots, and mostly the Patriots. And yeah, all these teams that I fucking hate. It's just like... San Francisco. I don't care about them. But I would just be so stressed out just dreading the thought of the people who like a team that I hate being happy.

I think it's going to be a hell of a game. I'm going to say take Bengals on the points and the over. The over. I think I always bet the over. Wouldn't that be just amazing? It'd be like, in the beginning of the season, it'd be like the Bengals won the Super Bowl. What?

Well, going back to Dave Woody, Dave Woody put a futures bet before the season began on the Rams to win the Super Bowl. So did I. If you're not familiar with futures bets, you get like crazy odds. It's because before a game has even been played, you just pick a team to win the Super Bowl. And the teams that are the big favorites, you know, you get less of a payout. But because no one has even played a game, the odds are crazy good.

So you can put five down to win like 500. I can't remember what his odds were on the Rams, but he did the odds on the rams i have it i made the bet uh and it was plus 1500 so it was 10 to win 150 150 okay uh you know before the season so that's that's the bet that i put down and now it's so strange i cash out unavailable i can't cash out like the last couple weeks the cash out went up because they want you to just like take less they're like take 40 bucks now you won 40 be happy but now that they're actually in the super bowl i thought that the cash out would go up one more time but it didn't there's no cash out so now you're locked in yeah now it's either get all the money or none of the money but uh but yeah so i'm i'm excited for for it i think it'll be fun well you know

it's gonna be fun not this episode no i'm kidding it's gonna be a blast uh let's talk about last week's ep you uh finally made the decision to come outside you had previously decided fuck that we're not going outside, it's too dangerous. A swift wind picks up and we get knocked over the edge. But when you fought the spirit naga that turned Will permanently insane, and mind you, so many other things could have gone wrong, but the only permanent thing that you have to deal with is Sir Will's permanent confusion through insanity. You thought that since none of you have the capabilities to heal him, that maybe you could find Renfall and then maybe he would have the capabilities to heal him. So you're kind of you're struggling here to just on a hope, on a whim.

Grasping at straws is I I think, the phrase you're looking for. And you see a chapel out here and you think, okay, we've met him in places that were tied to his past. If anything, maybe this chapel will herald his return as well. And then maybe you'll have the capability to heal Sir Will, but you come out here and you're ambushed by three cloud giants, and then soon thereafter, one of the Leng spiders that you fought at the top, top, top of the tower when you first discovered one of

those secret passages that went all the way up. One escaped, and you assume this is that one. Which I'll say, I don't, I didn't remember them being that deadly or that difficult or having that many hit points yeah when the lang spite yeah it definitely got some more hit points over time but it really felt like in that fight when it came up over the edge i was like okay a complication but we got this and then at a certain point i was like uh this is a

real problem like we might honestly lose nester here we fought them in a larger space where they're coming at us from the ceilings and we were able to put distance between us and this one snuck up on baron and got right in the thick of things right away and i think that was the key difference and we couldn't we didn't have as much mobility either because the edges of the platform we were on either led to the ground thousands of feet below or straight to lava. So it was tough. You were also fighting a battle on two fronts with these. Even though you kind of had the cloud giants under control with reverse gravity, you had to split your focus.

It was obscuring mist. It made it a little more difficult. But now. This is an example of the strange bedfellows though, right? This is like an example. We learned that Volstis is like going outside of the realm of giants as allies. Like a Lang spider is like an emissary or at least a foot soldier from like a strange other dimensional place, right? Yeah.

They are – I mean Skid, when you first ran into these, you were like, Spiders of Leng! Spiders of Leng! This goes back to when we were a kid playing. Yeah, it's a Cthulhu. It's an HPA Lovecraft thing. They also feature in another adventure that I have read and maybe run. So, yes. Go on. More details, please.

I daren't say no anymore um but but yeah no there it's it's like they're supposed to be these creatures sort of beyond the kind of capacity of a rational mind to comprehend they're one of those kind of deals so it's like, okay. This is possibly quite bad. Yeah, Leng is something that comes up in Cthulhu a lot, and Pathfinder is adopted as well. So, yeah, it's great. And you hit the nail on the head yet again. You're seeing the extent of Volstice's army. But you're able to defeat them,

and we finish the episode with all of you jumping on and tackling Sir Will. So I moved all your pawns right next to Sir Will as you tackled him and tied him up. I'm not going to have you go through all that. But yet again, he's screaming, what are you doing? Oh, thank you. What are you doing? Oh, and this is great, like a warm blanket. And this is great. Like a warm blanket. To the south, you have this this roiling mass of lava blocking the way you came in. I mean, you guys can all fly.

It's not the end of the world, but still strange. And then before you lies the entrance into the chapel. Baron, give me a profession. Fisherman check. Okay. Okay. This is why we put in the work at the early level, so it pays off in high-stakes

situations, Troy. You might not need to use it every ep when it comes in. This is why we do it. Oh, that's a 15 on the die. I don't even need the points, Troy. I'm just that magical throughout the entire run. That's a 24. That's a 15 on the die. I don't even need the points, Troy. I'm just that magical throughout the entire run.

That's a 24. That's a pretty good knot. Do you guys want to do anything right now? Any healing? Anything like that? Nestor's pretty battered. Oh, God. So what do you want to do about Sir Will's ability to heal him?

The same thing we did last time. He can channel. If he has channels left. I think we said he could even lay on hands. Yeah, okay, great. Is anybody else hurt? No. No.

In that case, lay on hands is our more effective method. Sir Will's down about 20, but I don't think that's worth burning. Well, it is. Yeah, actually, it is. Let's do it. Oh, no, it's not. I'm running very low already. So here we go.

I will hit Nestor with a few lay on hands. I'm just going to do it digital in the interest of keeping things quicker. Whoa, crushed it. 34 on the first one uh 32 on the second one not a single one that's amazing uh and you're still down a lot right yeah all right uh one more of those, though, and I should be good to go. Is this being accurate? It is accurate. 34 on the third one. Multiple fives and multiple sevens. I'm good.

All right. So that only used three, so I've got three more left for the day, and then that's it. Awesome. I mean, we're going to have to rest sooner rather than later because, yeah, I'm not destitute, but I'm running low on spells. Yeah, I agree with that.

Cash poor on spells. Cash poor on spells. All right, talk to me about what you want to do here now. You're as healed as you're going to be. The doors are open leading into the cathedral. You do have this mass of lava. How are we approaching this? You're as healed as you're going to be. The doors are open leading into the cathedral. You do have this massive lava.

How are we approaching this? How far? So from where we are, can I see 120 feet into the cathedral? Let's see how much you can see from there. You have a pretty good view in there, Metra. You can see all the way to the back of the room. The door itself is made of stained glass or there's stained glass windows on the door.

It's ornate. And you've seen this sort of decorative work throughout because the Cloud Giants are dedicated to art and beauty. It's not... Volsus has that time to redecorate. It looks like a pretty elegant looking room inside,

lined with wooden paneling. You see an ornate marble bench that appears to run along the perimeter of the room. There are a handful of marble pillars supporting the roof that look to be carved to resemble slender tree trunks, and a lattice of faux marble branches appears to be decorating the parts of the ceiling

that you can see by looking in and up. There is a stained glass window directly opposite the door on the far side of the wall that you can see. With the extent of your vision, it looks like a bright image of the rising sun. And you can't see to the north and to the south in that room. This is just interesting because Zephyr Hall, Zephyr's like a Greek god of the wind, right?

Yeah. I didn't know. It's the wind itself. Yeah. And then I was just thinking about... Lots of people say it with a swathe of breath. Thank you, Beowulf? Is that what that was?

I'm guessing some old English? Yeah, middle English, yeah. Middle English. Oh, I was just thinking of like healers, as Sir Will was healing everywhere in Apollo. Anyway, I'm just wondering if there's like more Greek mythos around this whole... And I don't know if this is a healing anyway let's move fly away on my zephyr name that band red hot peppers i worked one summer at tufts while i was at bc like teaching it was like a theater camp for kids um and And the guy who drove us every morning,

because it was a bunch of, like, B.C. theater people, drove us every morning in a convertible. We'd stop at Dunkey's. We'd get our dunks, and we'd drive to camp. We had to get there so early, and I was working three jobs.

I was managing a blockbuster at night, and then I'd go work the door at a bar nearby, and then I was doing this during that camp. But I will always remember that Red Hot Chili Peppers album had come out and was the beat of the summer and we would just listen to that on repeat in this convertible.

Anyways, we'll see you next week. That was a good song. That was a great driving album. Yeah, it really was. It was a good album to listen to in the car. They're a pretty good band, the Chili Peps. I agree. I like them.

Call in if you disagree. Have they ever done a halftime show? Yes, they have, actually. I thought so. Did they? Matthew, are we going to say, don't sleep on the Chili Peps? That's exactly what I was going to say. I think that might be my secret favorite Troyism. Don't sleep on the chili peps that's exactly what i was gonna say i think that might be my my

secret favorite troyism don't sleep on this obvious thing that everyone cares about there's my weekend there one day that is my actual favorite red hot chili peppers 2014 super bowl 48 bruno mars yeah of course That's why I missed it. It was because that was the Seahawks Broncos Super Bowl where the Broncos were completely out of it by halftime, so I went for a walk in an abandoned train yard.

While listening to Bruno Mars' greatest hit. I wish. I flew back to Denver for that whole thing you're so mean to Bruno Mars you're so mean to everyone that you don't personally like he's had like 30 top to one hit well that was the joke like no I remember being like fucking this guy sucks and then I watch him it's like, fucking, this guy sucks. And then I watch him and it's like, that's a pretty talented guy.

Very talented. But I've seen enough. I don't need anything more. I mean, every young artist. Fail the audition. Every young artist that Troy is not into, he just unapologetically shits on constantly. No, no, no.

Anything that Troy has either not into or hasn't heard of basically doesn't exist in Troy's perception of the world. There's a word. It's true, but there's not a word for this. Narcissism. I will admit he is a better dancer than me.

A narcissist wouldn't be able to admit that Matthew I'm better than a narcissist I'm the best narcissist In the world A narcissist dreams of being As awesome as I am

Narcissist envy Is narcissism as I am. Narcissist envy is narcissism. My work, see, narcissist. I don't have enough time to think about narcissists. I've got my own

to deal with. It reminds me of that old joke. It's like, listen, my really good friend Al Pacino said, never be a name dropper. Yeah. What do you guys do? You should go in. Yeah, slowly approach.

All right. You should go in. Yeah, let's slowly approach. Alright, how are you guys moving in with Sir Will atop his magical wolf? Is he sitting across? Is he bum up on Lexington? Is Lexington kind of like fireman's carrying him?

He's a saddle. He's just tied up. His arms are tied up. Like a prisoner. Yeah. Mama Box is always a possibility. I just want you to know that. And in my headcanon, Baron has the butt of his gun in Will's back. As he puts

his gun. Make one damn move. That lines up with my headcanon, too, Troy. Good. Alright, so we're all on the same page. Butt up with a gun pointed to his back. And with Baron just every once in a while saying, Would you relax? Calm down. And then just shoving the gun even further into his neck. All right, so is it safe to say you guys are all just moving forward together?

Yes, yes. Is it safe to say you guys are all just moving forward together? Yes. Yes. Okay. So you start to approach the Jonski and the doors that are open. And Metro Nestor just stepped back up to let Sir Will be in the lead. So please place your guys as you'd like them to be.

As Baron walks forward, he calls to his magical broom And it follows him Okay, everybody roll a perception check Do I roll one, Troy? Or do I roll a d100 first To see if I roll a perception check I think even insane people Can perceive Actually, you might even take a penalty

To your perception with the confused condition. I'm not sure. I could be making that up. Or is he seeing things extra clearly now and he actually gets a bonus to his perception? Yeah, he's not distracted by reality. You can see what's going on now. Well, I rolled a natural one,

so I think it's working itself out. Oh, there you go. You have pierced the veil. Whatever the odds roll. 29. 40 for Nestor. 47 against Traps. Okay.

37, 39 against Secret Doors. As you begin to approach the building, you hear the flapping of wings and the loud scream of an avian creature as piercing through the clouds is an enormous bird with a resplendent giant atop its back. What? Roll for initiative. Oh, no! Not again! Oh, my God. Oh! Yes! Natural 20

for Metro. Critical initiative! Critical initiative! What was that house rule that's not in this game? It's a bonus action in the round. Oh, yeah. You get a bonus action in round one that's in this game, which is so cool. See how terrible that would be if we used that in this game?

No, I think it would be rather fantastic. I would love for it to happen right now. Okay. Here we are. Sir Willamette natural two oh boy slowly working my way up on the d20 that's uh that's very interesting all right let's talk a niche here baron what'd you get 20 bad roll for baron okay okay nester uh 18 also a bad roll zoinks metra 29 29 for metra huge for metra and sir will total four four okay let me show you what you see what kind of buffs does everybody have on that are still going? Let's talk about that. Because some may have expired.

If they were rounds, they're gone. If it's minutes, I would argue that you guys are moving with all haste. Hours for sure. Minutes, let's talk about. I don't have anything on. Nothing. We didn't have any buffs in the last combat. Okay, just checking.

I have anti checking. I have anti buff. I've deconditioned myself. I'm no longer entangled, which I was during the end of last battle. So just to state it in another way, we annihilated your last encounter without a single buff.

Okay. Just checking to see if that was the case. We don't have protection from fire anymore right that old that old thing tail from the sea I would have come from Metra I mean I don't have it on I don't remember I have it on specifically okay so yeah I'll take that. Okay. So, yeah, I feel like it's off. Because I feel like this is the first thing we've done since. That's ten minutes per level.

So if anything, that happened in the Naga fight, and that's passed. Yeah. Okay. Let me show you, Metro, what you see. You see that giant bird and that cloud giant. Let's do a closer look at them. First, the bird. Oh, gorgeous.

It's very pretty. It's just letting out a huge scream as it comes swooping down. Multicolored. Gargantuan in size. Gargantuan in size. Gargantuan. Terrifying. Huge, huge talons that could pick up a fucking horse and throw it in its

mouth. And then the giant that is atop its back looks like well, not like that. I don't know if I'm able to highlight this. It's really hard. Like, Sir Will, you have your mount. I'll just show you. Looks like that. I don't know if I'm able to highlight this. It's really hard. Like, Sir Will, you have your mount. I'll just show you. Looks like that.

Whoa. Interesting. Sweet stash, bro. Yeah, he's got the... It is quite a sweet stash. The long, like... Who's that guy in Kill Bill that teaches the exploding punch? He looks like Legolas if Legolas was a Civil War general.

Who had frozen to death. Frozen to death in the Smoky Mountains. And was in the process of becoming a White Walker. I mean, that's it. That nailed it completely. If you can't picture that, instantly in your heads. That nailed it completely. Yeah. If you can't picture that instantly in your heads. You need new imagination. He's also wearing

rollerblading knee pads, which makes me think he's too extreme for any of them. Not only is he wearing rollerblading knee pads, he's also wearing rollerblading wrist pads. Yeah. Oh, bracers, yeah. Well, when you're riding a bird of this size, you want to play it safe.

What, do you ride a horse without a helmet there, Matthew? But Matthew, is he wearing... You have a statue on a condom? Is he wearing hockey pads, Matthew? I'm wearing hockey pads. So I'm wondering if this is a rock, this bird, but I don't... I've never heard of them having that kind of coloration.

You have fought rocks in this adventure, and it is similar. But this one is, it's, I think it's larger than the rocks you fought. I'm not 100% sure on that, but it definitely looks different. It's a big bird. It's a big bird. It's also, I should say, the Legolas part is because it is wielding what I can only imagine is a colloidal gargantuan longbow. And it is, I can just see these like ice arrows basically that are going to go directly

through Sir Will and pin them to the ground as he slowly bleeds out. It is set up for, Joe and Troy will know this immediately. It is set up like Anor Londo. We're on the edge precipice of a castle. There is a giant with a big old bow ready to knock us off as soon as we try to move forward. The worst part of the entirety of Dark Souls 1.

Oh my God, just getting hit by a dragon slayer arrow and then getting knocked to your death. Coming back to get your souls and getting hit again and knocked off before you can retrieve your souls. I remember playing that and legitimately thinking it was a mistake i was like someone made a mistake this is impassable like you have to go across this narrow bridge while two of these knights with giant great bows fire at you and it's just every time you get hit you get knocked off and you have to do and it's 10 minutes to run back there again. So it's like the biggest time suck of all time.

Pretty regal-looking giant coming in, just nose-diving directly at you. Metra, you get the first action. How far away is he from us, would you say? So in a straight line, which is everyone's favorite. You know what, just say he is 40 feet away diagonally. Just make life easier. Amazing. Metricast maze on the bird.

Okay. Oh! I just witnessed a homicide! Oh my god! He's going to plummet to his death. I do it to roll spell resistance. I do it to roll spell resistance. Only if it has spell resistance, which it does.

And it doesn't get a save? No save. No save. I mean, the encounter's over. I mean, here's the thing. It was 100% what I assumed you would do if you got it in the initiative. And you, of course, roll a natural 20 on initiative. So the bird disappears.

Oh, my God. And the giant falls directly down because you forced that action so it falls 500 feet. I hope he wasn't friendly. I know, I know. I was just wondering. I was just coming to tell you where Ren falls. We will stay in initiative here just to see if there's anything you want to do

because the giant has fallen 500 feet immediately and will continue falling to his death. want to do because the giant has fallen 500 feet immediately and will continue falling to his death. Can I retroactively research my memory to see if the bird was wearing one of those saddles? That's the first thing I was looking at. I wanted to see if it had that

saddle on it. I will say that you could see very clearly that it was a saddled bird, yes. Alright. This is the best day of my life. that you could see very clearly that it was a saddled bird, yes. All right. This is the best day of my life. See, John? I mean, now it's just like a comedy. It's like a Looney Tunes cartoon.

Let me ask you this. Do any of you intend to dive off and go after this giant? Hold on, let me roll a D100. Yeah. Anyone excluding Sir Will intend to go. Actually, I rolled a 23, so I act normally. So he dives after the giant.

So he dives off. The reason I ask is because otherwise you're out of combat. Yeah, I don't think Nestor would do that. He's not even visible at this point anyway, right? He's 500 feet away yeah all right we determined we have no reason to believe he's anything but hostile so unless we had a like unless he was like i'm actually your friend king cake well hold on a second one is to remind me of the maze i mean it only it's only rounds right the bird will be rounds right The bird will get an intelligence check

Every round to escape the maze What's the DC of that check It is a DC 20 intelligence check Okay And then it will After 10 minutes if it hasn't Passed the check it reappears Right okay

Maybe it's like a bird and it wants to fly away. After ten minutes. So it has to make, it has to fail a hundred checks to last ten minutes. But you are effectively out of combat. Wow.

What would you like to do? Well, I need a cigarette. I haven't had one in years I've never had anything quite like that happen Yeah That was a very strange thing You all saw that right

It's like Giant rainbow bird Bird's gone What do you think he wanted I don't know I was just too late to find out Tears over the side i wish i go in and shut the door in case that bird comes back yes that's that's advisable yes you're talking you're talking sense today

nester let's head in i have it written in my notes metra is going to cast maze on the bird. So get over solid ground quickly. I mean, I thought, I thought he was going to be over solid ground and we'd, he'd just fall, be prone and we'd get an extra round. But this is when Matthew asked how far away is the creature?

Your followup question should have been, what is the range of maze? And then we would have known. I mean, I, I just, I knew this was going going to happen i just didn't think metro would win the initiative uh so you guys are out of combat awesome wow uh and you can step inside and is it your plan to close the doors yes yes can we can we pause for a moment before we go in to see if much like when an enemy falls off the edge in dark souls if a bunch of souls land on our characters right away? Right.

Yeah, no souls appear. But if you quit the game and restart, you'll see if there's a soul item there. Yeah, it's all of his items at the end of the bridge. Which I did twice yesterday while playing the DLC. What did you say? I did that twice yesterday

while playing the DLC. i knocked a mimic into a pit and i was like ah there's an item restarted it was right back where the mimic was and then i knocked a knight off and it just automatically went into my inventory little dark souls tip anyways yeah no you don't see you don't get any souls but that doesn't mean anything this is a different game do we get XP? Do we feel our experience increasing just naturally? You definitely earned XP for that move. Yeah, we did kill that

guy. So what do you want to do? We receive within the chapel? Yeah, roll perception. Natural one. Yeah roll perception Metro one Yeah you get a very uneasy feeling Metro but you don't see anything

29 for Nestor 36 against traps Yeah you don't sense any traps Now that you're closer to the door You do see stained glass windows to the north and south. They have images of two identical-looking cloud giant women of great beauty, both with magical harps in their hands. Hmm.

both with magical harps in their hands. Seems like our friend might indeed be attracted to this place. They like the same sort of music. Sir, I rolled to just see how he's acting right now and he's acting very violently and I rolled attack nearest creature so he's like thrashing against the ropes. Let me out of here! Oh, come on, man.

Baron awkwardly pats Sir Will on the forehead and says, now, now, everything will be fine soon. May I only strike you down, Red Heart? You've turned us all. It's getting old, mate. Come on, let's fix him or I kill him in his sleep. See? See? Or I kill him in his sleep. See?

See? Beren will take this opportunity to use the medium spider venom and put it directly into Sir Will's mouth. Sir Will, roll a fortitude save. Oh, man. Do you know what a 16th level paladin does with spider venom? Drinks it. He he's like this tastes great no effect drinks it with his morning orange juice exactly that's right the the only weakness of a paladin is their alignment that's it yeah i drink spider venom and shit out holy water

that would that would be a great supernatural ability for every paladin is that they can imbibe any substance. You should keep that a secret. Like actual mechanical undead hurting holy water. Keep urinate directly on the undead. The church might keep you hostage or just

keep on feeding you spider venom and sell the holy water you crap out. It would be the worst existence in the world. Yeah. Like a precog. Just like hooked up to a giant vat of poison. That got twisted really fast. Oh, yeah.

So you guys move in? Yes. Yes. Yes. For the love of God, yes. You know what you know what dude that is so great just jot that down that has to be one of the most said phrases worldwide by gms and dms yeah so are you guys moving in are you guys done dicking around can we move on i i like that it it was it was a kind of a friendly way to ask that. I just remember the first time I was really pointed out to me. Starkley was when Joe during Delta green was like, so what do you actually do?

Talk so much about what was maybe going to happen. Yes. Very funny. What do you actually do? We come in here, sir. Will's thrashing a little. He's looking around, but he's not really seeing, connecting to anything. Just, what are we doing here?

What is this place? So, Sir Will, we'll say you have a moment of lucidity when you come in and you're struck by the image of these female cloud giants and religious iconography. Give me a knowledge religion. Okay. 18. Okay, you immediately see holy symbols of both Shailen and Gozre. All over the place.

Whoa. Wow. He looks around and in a quick lucid moment he's like, This place is a shrine to Shailen and goes, but Shailen has touched this place. And he, for a moment, starts to get very emotional. Shailen to him represents, you know, artistic beauty, essentially the beauty that can come from the creation of art. And so, and it's interesting combined with nature too.

I feel like he has been losing grasp a little bit on time and place. And one of the things that I thought was maybe he could confuse where we are now for like the Tomb of Nargrim Steelhand or something like that. You know, like he's sort of seeing these like marble walls or whatever and not really knowing where he is. And it's so interesting to me because I remember specifically at that time, as I was first getting to play Sir Will and thinking about Shailen and how it would interact. I remember thinking, I don't know if you guys remember this, but he would write poetry and stuff like that.

And we all would joke about how bad it was. And the poetry was always about the beauty of the land that we were moving through. We were moving up in the lower hills of a mountainside. And it was like the trees were changing color because it was fall and everything like that. And he was taking such comfort in the beauty of the natural world. such comfort in the beauty of the natural world and to me almost those two things are combining in this moment

because Gozre is sort of the neutral god of nature and druids right? Isn't that right Grant? You know that. Yep. And so to have Shailen and Gozre here in one place it's almost like the artistic beauty of nature.

Very interesting thought. he'll share this with you and say that Shailen is present in this place can I detect evil real fast see if there's evil in the place sure and you don't detect any evil but sadly you do shit your pants as another six seconds pass and you lose control gather and shoot gather and sell it

sell it to the church there's more holy water in my pants Baron at first kind of dismisses what Sir Will says about Shailen and Gozra and says

quiet down like he normally does. But he sees the same symbols because he has religious training as well. And he'd like to roll another religion check himself to make sense of what's going on here. I think I can roll better than Sir Will. 24. Yeah, I mean, what Renfall has told you and what you've gathered so far in looking at all of the cloud giants,

the way that they've built this castle is they were dedicated not only to Gozre, who is a deity of nature, the god of the storm and the sky, but also a goddess of the wave and the surf, that they were also very appreciative of beauty as well.

And we talked about this before, how there's this misconception that giant equals bad, and that's not necessarily the case. In fact, that these would have been a great ally in the war against the storm tyrant had that sort of parlay ever had a chance to take place. So if you're able to save the world and able to find more cloud giants, there might be a time now to be like, listen, if this ever happens again, can you guys be on our side? It's just interesting because every other giant we've

dealt with their religious worship and iconography because we've invaded many of their temples and they were guided by that every other giant camp we found has basically worshipped an evil giant god like an evil fire giant evil ice giant this is the first one i know goes or goes right however you want to say it is sometimes associated with giants but this is like the first deity that is worshipped by the small folks in equal measure which is interesting along with shayla yeah so what do you guys want to do in here their evil has not yet had the power to corrupt this place it remains holy so will's just looking around and then goes into another fit where he's confused and seems lost and afraid. Is there an altar that I could take Sir Will to? Maybe hoping that Baron's thinking he's protected by his gods.

One of the gods he worships is a patron of this place or at least has been worshipped in this place. patron of this place, or at least has been worshipped in this place. Aaron's hoping that this will get him closer to that god and allow that god's powers to reach out and embrace Sir Will. Is there something ceremonial like that he could try to lead him to? Yeah, so you don't see it here on the map, but there's a marble bench that runs along the entire perimeter, except for where the doors are. And right under the stained glass window to the east here of the sun,

it's a little more prominent, that bench. So it seems more altar-ish in nature. Baron will lead Sir Will there. And as he gets close to that area, he just wants to add a little mood to this scene he's going to cast light on the sun in the stained glass window as he sits up down on that bench and have it glow down on top of him and he's going to say a prayer to torag himself in mindful prayerfulness yeah i mean you hear the ppatter of rain just beating against the window. It's dark out.

It's cloudy out. Gray skies. But in this moment, by casting light, it just puts down a prism of colors on Sir Will and lights him up. And it's at that moment that you begin to hear the very faint sounds of a harp. Yes! Yes! Oh, please. Please, we're so close! And

slowly the image of Renfall appears. And as he appears, he's just looking around the room, looking at his surroundings like he hasn't seen it in a long, long time. And he hasn't seen it in a long long time

and he doesn't even notice you and he just starts talking to himself yes yes yes often my people come here to study rehearse

worship and occasionally bang. Oh, hello, my friends. It is good to see you again. Renfall, as always, it's an honor to be in your presence thank you for coming to us in our time of need

hello dwarf Barry right that's fine Barry's fine Barry the dwarf I had a cousin named Barry but his full name was Barreld. I get confused with Barrelds all the time, Renfall.

It's funny you bring that up. Tell me this, dwarf. What was your god-given name? Was it Barreld as well? That's a very sensitive subject. I don't often talk about Remfall, but

suffice it to say that at the DMV in the Five Kings Mountain, there is an early document that lists me as barreled Redheart. I didn't want I didn't want

I didn't want to see the light of day but I feel strong enough to talk about it here with you now in this holy place sir wills snaps to look at you says what did you say the truth will always out in the presence of the gods what do you want good run Paul our comrade has fallen

fallen victim to some terrible spell do you have the ability to heal him something happened to Nesta something happened to Nesta heal yes yes often would I Heal! Yes!

Yes! Often would I use such powers in my former life. You see this shrine here? This was a second home to me in Zephyr Hall. Taken it was. All taken it was. All taken.

Never again shall my music ring out against its walls. But your friend, what ailment has befallen him? He is insane. him. He is insane. Aren't we all a little insane sorcerer? It's good that we can talk about this. Yes, in fact

we are. Who are you to designate him? That is a personal matter between he and his therapist. Of course you're right. Let me rephrase. You don't have to be crazy

to work here, but it helps. Yes, exactly. We used to have a plaque like that in the lobby. I know, I saw it. That was why I was quoting it. It was the first thing that cursed Volstis took down.

It was in that moment that I knew he truly was a tyrant. He stands against light office humor. The levity in the workplace is like... What a monster. What a hooligan. What sort of creature can do such a thing? How long did you have casual Fridays for after that? They ended the Friday after he took over.

I will say this about the storm tyrant. He gave it a chance. One casual Friday. One casual Friday. Before he was like, this ends now. He took one look at it all and he was like, back to work. Brent falls in an abusive relationship. He's like, he to work. Ren falls in an abusive relationship. He's like, he really gave it a try.

He's like, he needs to get out of this, man. Insane, you say? Was this some sort of curse put upon him? He was struck by one of the naga's prismatic rays. Ah, the naga. Yes. Yes, I can feel her beating heart still on your plane. She yet lives.

You faced her and let her escape. This is not good. Metra slowly swivels her gaze towards Baron. Baron puts the base of his toes on the ground and his heel up and he starts grinding it back and forth.

Like, I don't know what you're talking about. This is not good! I have spent time since last we spoke roaming through these halls trying to get a sense of who is left. There are only so many living beings still alive in these halls.

But those who yet live any living being still alive in these halls. But those who yet live are Volstice's most powerful allies. The twins, Nalbi and Nalbur. And now you've let the naga escape. No doubt she will find you again when you are at your weakest and there are others

and then Volstis can we describe Baron will reach out and describe the giant that we just knocked out of the sky that Metra consigned his bird mount to the maze. Does Renfall know who that is based on description? Can we learn more about that person?

Yes! Yes, you speak of Nalbur! You speak of Nalbur and, his mighty rock steed. I was wrong. Wow. Barald, do not understand, Cloud. Giants can levitate. He will return and will not fall prey to your sorcerer's tricks a second time. That was an 8th level spell.

It wasn't some trick. Well, is it permanent? Is its duration permanent, sorcerer? Answer me, fat! And he looks really mad for some reason. He's getting real fired up. Medj Measure puts up her hands like, sorry.

Sorry. Well, I'd like to assure you that our failures are not for lack of trying. We are trying our hardest and I know that the deck is stacked against us and we have much further to go and we've

made the journey more difficult than it should be. But if you could help us bring this warrior of the light, this warrior of justice and goodness back, we have a chance. All we need is one good chance, Renfall.

And you can do that by touching this man and imparting your goodness onto him. Yes. Sir Will nods, and he looks right into the eyes of Renfall. And he's just like, Fish has never been my favorite. Yes.

The knight speaks wisely. Yes. The knight speaks wisely. I believe what he means is that the skies will... Actually, I think he might just be crazy. I thought, yes, that's what we were saying. That said, I do possess these powers, Barald. What? Barald?

I have not, since I was freed from my imprisonment, been able to effect things on the material plane. I was hoping to save all this power to aid you in your battle against Volstis. And, if need be, take over the castle to guide it to safety.

But, if this is what you'd like me to do Unless you can direct us to a set of scrolls I know that The priests of Gozra Were excellent At inscribing their abilities

And leaving them behind for Younger adherents To learn the ways of the master priests If you can tell us of a location Where we can access a scroll of greater restoration, we ourselves could cast this magic into the world, and you could save your powers for that crucial moment.

Oh, hopefully I can do both. But I know not. It is not in my power. But you made me think. A secret cache. The base of that column right there. Look inside. Oft would I hide things in there.

Baubles, trinkets, and condoms. Take a look, Barrow. So kind of you you leave those condoms for all the giants who would come in here to bang yes baron opens the the the cash and he pulls out lambskin condoms and that's just the only

condoms they have in galarian so he's just like okay normal condoms and then he looks in to the rest of the items and they were like uh media there normal condoms. And then he looks into the rest of the items. And they were like, they were condoms for a medium-sized human, which was weird. And he's like, oh, I guess mine must have been all used up. Those are my guest condoms. Oh, good. Those are still there.

Just hold on to those And he tries to reach but his hand just goes through yours Shit Shit But you open up a little compartment On the base of this column And you see a bunch of stuff in there There's

Six different potions or seven No a bunch of potions And a magical staff oh wow staff you say staff you say uh spellcraft sure or can he just tell us what they are

yeah I'll just I'll just tell you because I guess you'll never know start drinking book six can't figure it out there are four Ah, you should never know! Start drinking! Book six! Can't figure it out! I'm gonna mix a little bit of each potion into one bottle and try it all at once. There are four potions of cure serious

wounds. Ooh! A potion of neutralize poison. Okay. A potion of remove blindness deafness. A potion of removed curse. Whoa. Oh.

A potion of removed disease. Hmm. And the magical staff is known as a musical staff. is known as a musical staff. It is a staff made from high-quality wood festooned with brass rods and keys. So it looks like some ancient druidic instrument. The staff allows use of the following spells. Ghost sound, piercing shriek.

It costs one charge to use either one of those. And then it costs two charges each to use sculpt sound or wall of sound. In addition, as a swift action, the wielder of the musical staff can cause it to transform into a string or wind instrument. Any performed skill checks made with the musical staff gain a plus five competence bonus.

The staff can still be used to cast spells while it's an instrument, and it can revert back to a staff as a free action. Obviously, it'd be great if you had a bard in the party, but you have an extra little thing. Ah! My things! They are yours now. Treat them well in fact

could any of you use that stuff to delight us in a song perhaps a moment of levity will give you the power you need to press forward um sure

uh let's let's put a pin in that uh which of these things can we use to help sir will none but the song will help us all cool i can give it a shot

yes you play nester and i'll dance right okay so he takes the staff and he concentrates really hard and it turns into a zither and

uh uh it just starts playing uh there once was a man who saw a ghost ring the ghost he had a claim ring he said that they would come to church ring and they'd have a lot of sex that's it I just wrote that

here Metro is like mid dance that's it that's the end it's more of a musical question why are we having sex in this church Metro finishes the dance by making an imploring gesture towards Benfall.

It was beautiful. And here I worried that music would never ring out in these halls again. And now your dulcet tones have made their ways into the very fibers of the wood in this

room perhaps years from now another person will come and your song will inspire them as it's inspired me to do this and he just reaches

down and as he reaches down his hand starts to take up the entire room as he washes over all of Sir Will in Lexington and casts heal to remove oh yeah

yes Redfall the dude's the man! Ah! Did it work? He looks around. I believe so.

Sheriff, why don't we try taking these these bonds off and give it a test? I I suppose you've learned your lesson. And he's like looking at Sir Will's eyes that are still a little too wide and he's nervous. But he tugs on the end of the rope and they just fall right off of his wrists. Shakes free and looks around. looks around Ness I I feel as if I

feel as if I put a sword to you for that I am truly sorry I do not know why but I I lost control of myself can you forgive me what me I lost control of myself. Can you forgive me? What, me? You're talking to me?

Yes. I thought you were talking to the dog. You did way more damage to the dog than you did to me. I did? Yeah, you beat the hell out of him. You're like smacking him in the back of the head. If I was him, I'd be like, no, no thanks. I'm going to go find a new boy-sized man to let ride around my back.

Lexington. It was a terribly ugly thing. I'm so sorry. Lexington instantly forgives Sir Will. Oh, good. Oh, that's convenient. Oh, yeah, I bet he does. if sir will oh good oh that's convenient i bet he does i think i think lexington might want you to do some tithing to the aspca for amends for a couple years they go way back you don't understand

that relationship oh man you look over at ren, and he looks, he's like coughing. He looks like a weak. Renfall, speak to us. What's wrong? Nothing. Nothing. I'm not going to get tested. It's just a cold.

Hold on. It's just a cold. I have a flight in four days. It's just a cold. It's just a cold. I have a flight in four days. It's just a cold. But I do feel weak. I do feel weak in my ethereal bones. in my in my ethereal bones

perhaps reaching into your plane has weakened me in some way

and he holds up his hand and it's already translucent you can see everything but like you feel like

he's seeing something different like a piece of him is starting to go away but there was no

other way. He had to be helped. You need all of your team intact to take on the remaining challenges. And he bows his head and then like slowly just looks up at you. The end is near, my friends. Volstis,

his eyes have watched your every move. Your battle tactics that you've become accustomed to, that you've used throughout your journey in Zephyr Hall will be no match for this tyrant.

For he is ready and has several fair safes in place. He will do anything to protect all that he has stolen, all that he has planned. And defeating him will take all your power. All our power should go through. And, Shailen, allow me another foray into the material plane,

I promise you this, I will do all I can to aid you. But knowing what I know, I fear that even that won't be enough. that even that won't be enough. The fate of Zephyr Hall lies in your hands. But let's be honest, the fate of the world lies at your feet. And the final battle is close. And we'll see you next week.

The stakes are so high. I know. The idea that that Naga could just come out at any time and do that thing is horrifying. Whatever.

They're going to have to fight a new foe, though. Beryl Dreadheart. Yeah, Volstice isn't ready for Beryl Dreadheart. You've never seen my true power. Thanks for listening to the Glass Cannon Network. For more podcasts and live streams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com.

And for exclusive shows and content you can't find anywhere else, subscribe today at patreon.com slash glasscannon. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015. Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015. Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo. All Pathfinder images are property of Paizo and are used with permission.