The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 317 - Some Dying, a Witch and Her Wardrobe

Episode Date: March 1, 2022

A enchanting spellcaster threatens to end the heroes' journey. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network. The premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. The clouds, almost like they start to coalesce to form the silhouette of a colossal nebulous dragon, just floating in a dark abyss. As a colossal enemy from the clouds shock the crew. The image of the dragon immediately starts to uncoalesce and disappear back into the cloud. Phantasmal killer or some shit? And as giant soldiers surrounded the heroes.

Out of the sky, just to the south of where Nestor and Baron are standing, this beautiful blue bird starts to spin wildly until it forms the shape of a whirlwind. You are surrounded by this whipping cyclone of air. And as giant soldiers surrounded the heroes, two cloud giants double move out of the sky itself and rush directly underneath you, Metra, in the direction of Nestor, Baron,

and Sir Will. Their beautiful and fearsome leader emerged. And you see, as she's coming out of invisibility, she looks at her hand and a fistful of stars appear in her hand. The adventure continues. She just takes them and...

Blows them upwards towards Metra. Now. Yo, what is up, Nash? It's your good buddy Joe just hopping on here for a quick second before the episode to let you know that we're headed to Boston this weekend. Once again, we'll be back at the Paradise Rock Club, which I love. Boston Joe will be in attendance for what is sure to be a wild show and a wild night. There are still tickets available if you go to glasscannonnetwork.com slash tour. You can find out all the information on general admission tickets. There are actually a couple VIPs still available.

And come on, you know what they say. The real party is the after party. So get yourself a VIP ticket if you've never done it before. And there's also standing room tickets for this show. For the first time ever at the Paradise, they've opened up the balcony to us. And those tickets are only $25 a head. So if you want to come and check us out, please do. Again, it's

glasscanonetwork.com slash tour. We'll see you this weekend! My wife isn't feeling well today. She was a little under the weather before I left to come to the office, but I was like, she was like, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. And then when I got here and started getting ready to record

it like started to spiral and she's throwing up and stuff and so I just feel like horribly guilty that I'm here working because I know it's going to be just impossible with two kids and you just you're not feeling it because like there are days when I'm hung over and not feeling it and

it's just horrible so I'm checking with right before we start recording and she's like yeah i'm alive dash just went down for a nap and then grant's like all right let's get some silence and we started then she texted we have no milk and archer just dumped a bag of powdered sugar on the couch oh god powdered sugar is so much worse than regular sugar just reading that like right I'm like god I feel so guilty

I know this is work but we also we just have fun here and we goof off that's the hardest part when I come back and I'm like I am exhausted and my wife is like you better take that back all you did was have fun with your friends

the whole time Like I'm exhausted and you reek of sour beer Yeah, it's like I'm exhausted from that second beer Did that do you in at work? Today is Caitlin's first whole day solo with no help with Mira Oh, big day Yeah Big day

It's a, oh, God. God bless him. I mean, you talk about being sick and dealing with it. You talk about being hungover and dealing with it. When I feel fantastic, it's awful. It's so difficult. Two kids that young. It's so

stressful. It's so funny because I've never really questioned my decision not to have children because literally every time I hear anyone talk about raising children, it sounds horrible. No one's ever like, man, isn't it great? Wanda Sykes used to talk about this. She's just like, everyone, it's just like they say, every time they say it's raising kids is hell, but it's worth it. They always look down at their feet when they say it's worth it. They say, yeah, raising kids is tough, but it's worth it. They always look down at their feet when they say it's worth it. They say,

it's tough, but it's worth it. On the plus side, I have a single chance, but you have double the chances that one of those children will pay for the drugs to undo the damage they caused you. Yeah, it's possible. It's possible.

Or at least they'll pay to house you when you're you know infirm and and that's the one thing i don't know i just have to be nice enough to my nephews that they'll feel some sense of obligation just promise them your estate oh yeah there you go done it's so hard with video games too i don't think we've talked about this in this show but elden ring just came out and uh i'm still deciding whether or not I want to stream it or anything. And I think the only way I can justify playing it is to stream it, so then I can say, honey, I've got to go to work. I've got to work. I'm doing this for you and the kids.

And you need six 24-ounce Coors Light to go to work? This is part of the deal. This is part of what the deal is. Have I not explained streaming? Do you know what work is? I do real work. It's so hard to explain. Oh, by the way, Troy, it seems like

you need to stop at the grocery store to pick up not only milk, but also powder sugar. I know. What are you going to do? He's going to make French toast with snow. And some kind of miraculous cleaning agent, because that dusty look is not going away anytime. That chalky white sort of vibe. It's going to look like Pablo Esquipar's living room.

And I'm sure the couch was completely dry when that sugar went on. Oh, no. Yeah, no, he didn't dump milk first, but I'm sure there was water on there and that sugar just it's in there we're gonna have to throw you know your your response should be pixar it didn't happen yeah send in the pics i feel so bad uh i i don't particularly like our couch that we have but it has a removable you can remove and wash all of the slip covers for everything and i'm like how can i justify getting rid of this couch when i have small children that are about to do terrible things to it yeah we do have the slip covers too

she's always washing those i'm like why are you washing those i don't see any dirt now i'll have to wash them because of the sugar um yeah so let's do a quick 10 minute up today and then i gotta go to the store well no the reality is we have a dinner today i think i'll pick up a few beers and play elden ring yeah so bad like we have a dinner a nice dinner that we have planned to go to after the recording. And now I'm like, do I have to cancel the dinner? And then if I don't cancel the dinner, it's like, I'm sick. There's sugar everywhere. Anyone going to dinner and drink it?

But it's for work. It's a work dinner. It really is. It's for work. Oh, God. I can't help but feel. I think it was all those years of Catholic school. I can make myself feel guilty about anything.

Do you ever, anybody not have problems with guilt? I'm sorry. You can make yourself feel guilty, Troy, but it hasn't changed your course of action at all. No, no. Well, maybe it has. Is that the Catholic school thing? Maybe it has. You should see if I didn't have the guilt.

This is the guilted version of Troy. You'd hate to see if it wasn't for the Catholic school. Oh catholic school oh man yeah no i feel extreme guilt all the time but i feel more shame than guilt i was gonna say yeah i feel like catholic school is all about shame yeah no somehow it trickled into it turned into guilt for me but i feel guilt towards inanimate objects like talking about video games i'll buy a video game right and if i don't play it enough before the next video game comes out i feel bad about that that i didn't play that game enough isn't that weird yeah like if i only devoted a certain amount of time to that game and then i move on to a new game i'm like i feel bad i didn't well i feel guilty you have to yeah you have to separate are you talking about buyer's

remorse are you like i didn't get my value out of that yeah no i know what you mean like you feel guilty towards this inanimate it's like oh this poor game yeah i didn't give it its due yeah yeah i used to have regret around like games i would purchase when i was like a teenager and it was like my allowance or like my summer job or whatever and uh i'd be like man i wish i had that 40 bucks back instead of that stupid game i had but i'd never feel guilt towards it i'd more regret like not putting that money towards a different experience yeah that's a totally different thing I know what you're saying though you know what I

mean it's it's weird it's a weird maybe guilt isn't even the right word but so I'll just feel like ah sorry yeah I'll do the modern modern warfare 3 modern warfare 3 I never feel guilty about that stuff at all in the least because I always, if cost is part of it at all, I always back it up and do the relative cost thing.

And my relative cost thing is always going to a bar in my late 20s on like a Wednesday. And that was like $80. Yeah. Yeah. So like anytime I'm like, if I had one fun night with that game, then that was like $80. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So like anytime I am like, if I had one fun night with that game, then that game paid for itself. Yeah.

Because like, very true. That is like, you're paying for entertainment. And if you're entertained for one night and you paid 60 bucks, that's way less than a show than a Broadway show. You know what I mean? So it's not money though for me.

Cause I feel the same way. I'm saying if it is books and you, you do, you're good at being like, I don't want to read this book anymore and i will agonize over that because i'm like this is temporary entertainment for me i enjoy this for this amount of time i'm not enjoying it anymore so i move on to something else this is why and and skid and joe in particular understand this why it's a wonderful thing that troy has not cracked pc gaming yet because his steam library would taunt him oh

when steam has games on sale troy every like uh holiday they sell amazing games for like 99 cents each and so you'll pick up 20 during that sale and then it'll just stare at you like i could be having fun playing these things i think i have a library of like 500 or something and i've touched barely a fraction of it's like tom who was in our old jade region game and my rise of the rune lords game i'm sure he had like 3 000 steam titles in his library it was crazy yeah i i i don't have nearly that many and i have at least a dozen that i have never played that i bought it's like there's the sales are great and he's like oh i'll grab i'll play it next week and then just like you know stuff happens the one thing i found about the steam library as

opposed to like i've you know i've only had a steam library for what a year and a half but they but the thing i for comparing it to my experience with with video and pc games when in my youth i find like sometimes i'm like oh right this game and i'm like oh i'll play this game for tonight and i get that i play it again and i just like i kind of like rediscovery value it yeah into a scene like that i don't didn't have the ease of it just being oh like click click and then you can have it installed and playing it rather than having a physical library yeah and no matter where you are yeah yeah and like the man in conqueror 2 disc is scratched i can't ever play that throw it away age of empires 2 i still can't beat the tutorial perfect yeah i don't know why that is do you feel that way about meals ever

where you're like oh i didn't i mean i went to a nice restaurant that i really wanted to go to and i didn't really enjoy it like i feel guilty. I was already full when I went. No, because I can take the leftovers home if I really want to. Sometimes my birthday dinner used to be at Smith & Walensky every year pre-pandemic and there'd be times I'd get there and after a few martinis and a bunch of appetizers, the steak would come.

I'm like, I'm just, I'm too full to have the steak. I'd take the steak home. Then I'd eat it later and I'd enjoy it so i don't know what it is i'm just i want to blame catholic school it's a really easy target yeah what a giant target i went to i only went to catholic school for kindergarten so i only feel guilty about like milk and uh coloring and coloring outside the line of finger painting that kind of thing it was his guidance counselor this is a total segue uh at my high school who uh was very nice and uh he was my

guidance counselor for a couple years and then uh like many uh members of the cloth years later came out that he had some inappropriate relations with a student. And I was like, wow, that's fucking lame. Among other things. Among other things. It's pretty lame. Lame wasn't the right word, but that was the first. I was trying to be kitschy.

Boy, that was disappointing. Wait, that was so lame. Let me be clear, this person's a monster. I just want to be on the record saying that's bad. And then he kept trying to Facebook friend me over the years. Oh, no. And so he left school. He denied all allegations and left the school and went to work at another school.

And then he was still trying to Facebook friend me. And I saw he was still friends with other people. And I'm like, who's accepting these friend requests? They don't know. Bunch of lame people. So just to be clear, that was a segue from what to what? Who's accepting these friend requests? They don't know. Bunch of lame people. So just to be clear, that was a segue from what to what? I just was thinking of Catholic school and how many horrible things happen.

It seems like an unnecessary requirement to make the guidance counselor be a priest, an ordained priest. You think they could just hire someone who has a counseling background? A contractor or something. He was a brother. Joe, you were an altar boy, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I was all Catholic all the way.

Until you were in your 30s. Why do you think he grew the hair? That shit hurts your knees when you're in your 30s. Those marble steps. He was a head altar boy when he was in his 30s. It's the only reason you gave it up. Altar man. Altar man. Altar man, dad.

Just imagine taking orders from a 12-year-old. Ringing a bell. You ring a bell. I know how to do the incense, Jimmy. Oh, my God. We're like desperately trying to win Jimmy's approval. Right my God. We're like desperately trying to win Jimmy's approval. Right. Exactly.

God, I just, I remember when I was growing up and, uh, when I'd spend the weekend at my dad's, like my stepmother would insist that we'd all go to church with her. Man, I get so mad.

Like, why do I have to go? I'm not Methodist. What the fuck am I doing here? I would get so angry. And do i have to go i'm not methodist what the fuck am i doing here i get so angry and i still i still get mad just bored stiff for like three hours on a sunday so angry this is where catholic church wins out we go to 11 30 mass we're out by 12 15 watching the cowboys game on the couch that three-hour mass church service has got to go. Oh, God. My Protestant service

is always an hour long, and I would have to sprint to not miss Ren and Stimpy. Sprint. Our church was right up the street. I was just... Fuck coffee hour. Didn't want to miss Ren and Stimpy. Sometimes you feel

like a sermon was wrapping up, like, oh, we're going to have a shorty today? I feel it's coming to a conclusion. No, and then the final part would come in, and sure enough, it would always end, 11 a.m., 10 a.m. to 11 a.m. My mom would want us all to wait until the priest processed out of the church.

That's a respectful thing to do. They march the crucifix down and do everything. Uh, but during playoff time, those rules changed. My dad was like, we are out of here right after we get communion. We are communions over.

We got the body of Christ and we are on to football. My dad would stand there with his arms crossed. So when people would leave before the procession of the crucifix out, he'd just shake his head. Just like, you know know those people just you can't wait five minutes my uh can't wait five minutes my cousin steven was uh he got married uh in october of 2003 and it was the same day as game five of the red socks a's's playoff divisional series. And so my entire family are mass holes. And so the entire church is like checking their flip phones like under the pews for the score, the entire service.

It's like, great timing, Steven. Good job, you fucking idiot. Church. It is funny, though. It makes me think the way you talk about the prime i've been to a few uh worship services for christian uh you know various uh non-denominational churches and stuff like that and there's this sense of worship and excitement to be there and like happiness together and everything and like catholic church really does Church really does feel it's an obligation that everyone has to do or you go to hell. And they're like, in order to help you facilitate this obligation, we will start masses at 6 a.m., have them every hour on the hour,

make sure that they're done in 40 minutes and you can get out of here just so you're like, okay, you can get it in so that you don't go to hell. You know what I mean? It's very strange. That's like guilt on the part of the church. It's like, okay, you can get it in so that you don't go to hell. You know what I mean? It's very strange. That's like guilt on the part of the church. It's like we have to make this as easy as possible or these people will go to hell. Right. Yeah.

I don't know. It was church was such a big part of my life as a kid, just from going to Catholic school and Protestant school. And then, you know, I went to college and just, uh, even though BC was a Jesuit school, i wasn't doing like a lot of church stuff there um but i do i it was such a part of my life it's something i'd like to give to my kids but i just feel like it's it's so lame now like i just want to can i find a laid-back church and not go in where everybody's like listening to rock christian music if we're gonna be talking about god i need like spooky uh stone structures and incense and stuff. I don't need a projection 3D monitor and four people with a drum set.

Like that is so weird to me, the people. There's got to be a middle ground between like a modern church service. My dad was furious that it wasn't in Latin. Yeah, man. He was like, they made a big mistake at that Vatican II summit. Still mad at Vatican II. Because he's just like, you're just dumbing it down. You know what I mean?

It should be elusive and unreachable. Like, that is what God was. You know what I mean? It's like, you don't understand it. It is so beyond your understanding. It's like cosmic horror. Yes. Exactly.

Yes. It's the flip side of cosmic horror. Yeah. Cosmic. It's the opposite of horror glory delight comedy cosmic joy cosmic joy cosmic joy cosmic joy a tale of cosmic joy that sounds like a vegan breakfast bar by hp hatecraft well anyways anyways hopefully this didn't stir up too much emotions I'm sure it won't I'm sure there aren't too many opinions flying around

And those lost subscribers who can take a joke Religion is never a Controversial topic Oh good lord Well you know it's a point I like talking about fun stuff here I mean we didn't go nearly as deep as we could have Next week we'll start talking about the midterms yes and we'll talk about money

and how much do you make matthew just kick it around the table i'll come prepared with some slips of paper I can slide across the table I don't know where I was going with this Neither do I Neither do we Excited to go to my powdered sugar couch when I get home That's where we started Lay atop my powdered sugar couch I hope you cut out everything from the segue to that part

I might, I might, it was a long banter You know who else had a powdered sugar on his couch little guy that's called jesus it's the parable of the pattern that's right that's why it is yep that's the kind of church you need to be attending where they can tell you they can preach to you in a way that relates to your life maybe the powdered sugar is a metaphor um i'll ask my wife she's vacuuming it up while vomiting god have you had time to reflect on this honey but what is the powdered sugar doing functional in this story yeah i think she'll feel better if

you let her listen to this episode yeah then she this is what you're doing all day like a horrible husband uh well last week in the church that we call pathfinder we gathered together to fight cloud giants and uh churches this church is way more action-packed we were just uh a giant angel sort of appeared to us just now that's true that's what she looks we have talked we talked to god earlier now there's like this angelic creature that's trying to kill us it's just like the bible it truly is uh there's a lot lot of religious iconography in this place, mostly to Shalen and goes Ray. But in this place,

there is no religious iconography. There's only certain death. You came in here and the, the, the, the, the skies turned dark and then you heard laughter and then a dragon appeared and you guys like

steeled yourself against the fear that was coming up inside of you. And then as the cycle began to repeat itself, cloud giants emerged from the sky, seemingly just out of the sky, not unlike the secret door that Baron found, like this dark souls fog door just came out of the sky, rushed up to you guys, and began attacking while this bird kept turning into a whirlwind and harrying you, making it difficult for our

ranged combatants to get off a full attack. Metra took to the sky, flew up about 50 feet, and bumped her head on an invisible ceiling. Baron jumped on a broom, flew off to try and get an above-down view to fire off some shots at one of these cloud giants,

and you misfired your last shot, which could have been the kill shot on the one remaining cloud giant. Meanwhile, a beautiful female cloud giant appears. I said appeared from invisibility. Obviously Metra, you would have seen. I always forget that you can see invisible.

And you can see ethereal too, right? I can see ethereal. She basically appeared right next to the cloud, from right where that cloud giant that's still up. She appeared out of the sky, walked back towards this lantern uh here and then appeared as she blew stars in your face give me a will safe let me ask you this question okay we've never done this before and i've always wanted to do it i I don't like it.

But I honestly don't know how it works. I'm looking at the text of the spell right now. Is it counterspell? Are you doing counterspell? I don't know. Can you counterspell? I think you had to... You have to have dispel magic or the spell he's doing prepared to do a counterspell. I believe you have to counterspell with the spell that's being

cast or dispel magic. I have dispel magic. Oh, okay. But I think you have to... You have to spell that's being cast or dispel magic. I have dispel magic. Oh, okay. But I think you have to... You have to identify the spell, too, right? Let me read you the extent of the explanation for counterspell in the text of Dispel Magic. When Dispel Magic is used this way, the spell targets the spellcaster and is cast as a counterspell. Unlike a true counterspell, however, Dispel Magic may not work. You must make a dispel check to counter the other spellcaster's spell.

The one thing I know is the counterspell has to be a readied action. Yes. Also true. So then it's not worth it. I don't want to read more into it knowing you can't do it. But if you ever want to do it... It is a thing. Let's go on from there.

I've never done it. I've always been really interested in it. We've never done it. And I've always wanted to have a higher level wizard and ready actions like that. With a lot of spells. It's just a very strange thing. on it and I've always wanted to have like a higher level wizard and like ready actions like that with like a you know a lot of spells it's just a very strange thing you would basically have to fight an opponent who you knew their spell list

which is possible but it's very rare like you're fighting someone that is spamming a lot of the same spells then you're like okay I'm going to wait until they do the next fireball and I'm going to counter it you know just knowing what their I'm going to wait until they do the next fireball and I'm going to counter it. You know, just knowing what their spells are going to be. It's, it's very,

very hard. I remember back before we had a podcast, we played in our buddy Merwin's game. There was one session he told me before we came, like, you should read up about counter spells. And I didn't even know how initiative worked. Uh, and I was trying to learn counter spells. And so I studied and I felt pretty good and we never used it um so it's never come up since i think you should let us do a sense motive to have a high enough sense motive spell and get a sense of what they're gonna cast and ready it yeah no oh okay well i know maybe you can do that would be fun i mean no that's more like mind reading that's pretty intense but you can sense enchantment no they're somatic they're verbal they're verbal they're they're like somatic components of a spell

that you'd prep for in between i mean you could argue enough that's that's but i think that's the knowledge arcana check that's that's listed this is why we should all just put on a disguise and sneak into a pathfinder society game and just see how they do it. Yeah. That actually, what you're describing, Grant, is actually built into counterspelling. You roll a spellcraft check to understand. Let's do this. You want me to roll a will save? Roll a will save that you're probably going to pass.

That's the thing about these save or sucks kind of situations. All of us or just? Just her. Okay. For now. For now. Okay. 26.

Okay. So here's what happens. These, I said last week, like she gathered stars in her hand and then just blew them towards you.

They come up towards you and they start swirling around your body and your face and your eyes and you're looking at them and trying to not be distracted by them

and you aren't. But they then bounce off of you and go over to Baron. Oh, come on. Can I identify this spell with the spellcraft check? No! That's only if you're counterspelling it. I can't do it

just looking at a spell? Yeah. No, the spell has already been cast. You can. So yeah, you could on your turn, you could roll spellcraft to... We talked about this last week. I'm asking now because Um, you can. So yeah, you could, on your turn, you could roll spellcraft to, uh, Knowledge Archive. We talked about this last week. I'm asking now because you had it, made it need to happen in the moment that time, and since it's still active, that's why I was asking.

Right, identify a spell as it's being cast requires no action, but you must be able to clearly see the spell as it's being cast, and this incurs the same penalties as a perception check. So yes, technically, Baron could... Oh, she became visible because it's an attacking spell. Yes, yeah. And she's, like I said, she's still coming in and out of existence. But yeah, go ahead and roll spellcraft,

Baron. 15, I don't know. You don't know. But they do come on you. I'm just seeing if you make your save now, or if it's on your turn. Who must now make Will's saves? You'll do it on your turn. So must now make will saves everybody. You'll do it on your turn. So these stars are now swirling around you, Baron.

Ooh, is this like a force disc? Is this going to bounce from person to person? Oh, no. But slower? Well, to make matters worse for you, Baron, that whirlwind flies up to you. Oh, boy. And surrounds you.

Goes right onto your spot. So it's up in the air. So, Baron, you can't see anything, and you've got these stirrups. You've got a lot going on over there, Baron, if you ask me. That's a lot. That's a lot. I give up. After all this time, he drops his gun and walks out of the castle.

You win. Adios, partners. I've done my part. Just caught him in a weak moment. Finish the castle. You win. Adios, partners. I've done my part. Caught him in a weak moment. Finish the fight. Okay, so that is what she does. Now, it is Sir Will's turn,

and remember, this one remaining cloud giant is a five-foot step away from a full attack on Nestor, and a full attack on you, Sir Will, but you've proved unhittable. Whereas they have not had a chance to attack Nester yet. If you don't kill it, it could

really mess Nester up. Uh, okay. Awesome. No pressure. No pressure. I will not kill it. Uh, probably. Oh, I could always create! Awesome. No pressure. No pressure. I will not kill it. Probably. Oh, I could always create. So here's what Sir Willamette does.

He's suddenly surrounded again by this wind, but not distracted or deterred by it. That wind, by the way, is in the air because Baron's flying, so it's not on you. Oh, beautiful. Oh, so he can see the target? Yeah, you can see the target. It's a 20-foot orb, right? How high up are you? I'm 35 feet, remember?

So it's centered on you creating a radius. So what is it? It's 15 feet free? 10. 10 up, 10 down, 10 around. Oh, I thought it was 20. Got it. Yeah, it's 20 feet high.

All right. 10-foot radius, 20-foot diameter. Thank you. With this, so there was a giant directly in in front of Sir Will That if memory serves Baron you You killed right Yeah Yeah

Last week Killed it with a gun With a big old crit And I yelled Oh he shot it with a gun He shot it with a gun I've never seen Such a thing

You should have seen The look on the giant's face What the hell is that Of all the ways to go I have I'm nervous because Troy's not paying attention to me

remember last week when he was just reading during everybody else's turn I was doing the same thing now so alright then I think he's actually looking up how to get

powdered sugar out of a cup alright Lynn let's toss the theatrics you need milk ironically to get it out I was like no no no the one thing the one thing that we're out of wait wait You need milk, ironically, to get it out. I was like, no! No, no, no!

The one thing that we're out of! Wait, wait! Speaking of which... Gun! Gun! Gun! Gun! The secret for getting powdered sugar out of a cow is milk. This one simple trick. You just need a half gallon of milk.

Plays it in on the empty half gallon of milk. On the empty half gallon of the trash. That's my favorite Simpsons joke. They would do it. Empty milk container in the trash. Alright. What are you going to do? Sir Willamette is going to this dragon

this giant falls right next to him. The other one is in clear view. And he is going to smite evil then. So he will smite evil against this cloud giant. Oh. Okay. Smite me. He turns, faces Lexington toward him.

Lexington rises. He drops the lance. Wait a second, Joe. What? You like to give pointers sometimes during attacks. I thought cloud giants were neutral. Are they? I think they generally are, but I think these ones are evil.

These guys don't seem cool. All right, cool. They are generally neutral, but you have every reason to believe if they've joined up with Volsus. They are evil. Got it. neutral, but you have every reason to believe if they've joined up with Volsus their mind has shifted. Yeah, and I think that they I think I used it on these exact creatures before, which is why I was confident

that it would work. Okay. In that case he is going to then charge For Harboring! For Harboring! For Harboring! For Harboring!

He's going to slam into this guy For Harbury! For Harbury! For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury.

For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury.

For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury.

For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury.

For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury.

For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury.

For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. For Harbury. It doesn't provoke because he is the target of my charge This option did not become open to me Until Baron shot down the other giant At that point it would be too much Alright, here we go

Come on, you bastard He's so close, you gotta hit him Gotta hit him with the white light of good Come on, buddy Oh! Double digis? Oh! Dear sweet.

53 to hit. Oh my god. Is that it? 53 to hit. And that's not a crit? That was not. It was a natural 19. And it does not crit on a 19.

I was double checking. You got to take him proof critical. I think that that's. Can anybody take that? I think you have to be a fighter to take that. Please describe your kill. Oh! I'll describe it by saying the amount of damage,

because I so rarely get to do this. And I rolled well. That is the most Joe Fox to an opening with Rock Rushed it ever. Describe your kill. 94! 94! Very close, Troy. It was 84. describe your kill 94 very close Troy it was

84 oh wow wow 84 points of damage skewers into yeah he puts it right into like

the giant's thigh just above his knee cap and it just explodes that gout of blood when you hit an artery

and it's just like giant grabs his leg and then slowly the light goes out of his eyes as he falls to the ground. Oh, baby. Awesome. Okay, so he falls. I knew he had 13 hit points left. Oh, damn it. We were going to annihilate him.

All right. Anything else you can do this turn? Nope. That was a Swifty. That was a Standee. No. That was a Swifty and a Standy. It is Metra's turn.

Okay, so where is the Emma Frost-like figure that I'm assuming is Nalvia? She is right below you and to the south, if we're using the old terms. She's on the ground. She's standing on the ground. Yeah, standing on the ground. Sometimes the old terms are best. So she's of giantific proportions.

Yes, she has all the markings of a cloud giant. You just haven't seen one of her make. Wait, that's so crazy that do you remember the creature I'm thinking of from dark souls the invisible uh crossbeat crossbreed priscilla when you go to oh yeah yeah and she's invisible and

she's like leave don't fight me and then uh you you yeah you have to follow her by her footsteps in the snow that's the only way you know where she is i'm looking at her right now she has a she has a scythe uh as opposed to a sickle i think at her right now. She has a scythe as opposed to a sickle I think, right? Yeah. It's kind of like a scythe. She has a scythe. She has a huge scythe. It's close. Crossbreed Priscilla. And related to dragons is the big thing too.

She's quite beautiful. Yep. A stunner. A real stunner. Those blue eyes. What do you think? She's kind of winking in and out of existence. You seem to see her pretty well, but she's shimmering. Yeah, it's the... I got a couple options.

Let's just do some chain lightning. I don't want to deal with the blur. Okay, a little chain lightning. Against her and the bird. It's a vortex. Okay, all right. That's fine. And correct me here.

You can see invisible and ethereal, right? We already established that? Okay, that is very important here. Are there any other creatures on the map that we don't know about? No, no, no. That's all that you can see, but it's very, very important

for reasons that I will tell you some other time. I just want to make sure. Yeah, you're good. Okay. What is it? Reflex save? Reflex save for both of them.

All right. Her reflex save is a 29. Okay. She passes. And the bird in whirlwind form, it rolled a 17. That's a fail. That's a fail. Oh, yeah.

Win the bird. So chain lightning, 59 points of damage to the bird. Okay. And then what is that? 20. 29, right? Yeah. 29.

I guess so. 28, right? No. You round down? Yeah, you round down. Oh, yeah. 28. 28, right?

No, you said 59? 59. 29. 29. Yeah. 29, 29 is 58? 59. 29. Yeah. 29, 29 is 58. Great, right, we round out. It's funny, we all got started.

Got it right the first time. We were all kind of nervous. I said it right away, and then he second-guessed it, and then I was like, wait a minute. I was doing the math in my head, and when you said the number, I was just like, wait a minute. What? It's like the old altar boy's getting math, too! Who's that old altar boy? Who's that really ancient-looking altar boy?

I always used to think that about the bad boys at the Mets game. Because they're not actually boys. They're like dudes that have had this job for 25 years. It's like, I thought I was supposed to be a boy. Some sort of man-child. It's Batman! It's Batman! It's Batman! It's a Batman!

Why aren't you out saving the city? Corralling the Joker and the Riddler and the Penguin. I met a guy who was a bad boy for the Detroit Tigers when he was a youth. Really? Yeah. I always wanted those jobs. He wrote a letter to the organization and they had a whole process. Yeah, so you've got to either have a had a whole process and yeah so you got to

either have like a lucky lottery story like that or you got to be like lou whittaker's son or something yeah he said they were typically so like the player who's like customarily tipped the bad boys and sometimes they would just like give him shit so he was like like one guy was like i just bought this ipad ipod i don't want it and just gave it to him yes he was like okay that's the sweetest gig for damn it do you have anything else you can do metra yeah i'm gonna move okay okay g t f o uh i mean i'm above her but i'm just gonna put some distance how do you know that's very rude to assume i'm literally above her in the three dimensions um and you know what let's let's keep this Let's keep this moving. I'm going to cast a fireball

on her as well. So give me another reflex save. Okay. Reflex save is a 23. Oh yeah. She's definitely going to pass. And you're going to take 18 points of damage. That's already had.

Nice. Alright. And that is quickened metamagic? Quickened metamagic. Fireball? Okay. Very good, very good. Good round for Metra. Let's go to the top of the next round. It is Nestor's turn. Okay, so Nestor finally sees

the center of his ire. And he says, There you are, you witch. And he's going to unleash a full hasted attack, study targets, etc. And what not? First attack

with old Jolta. That's a natty 18 for 48. Give me a 50% miss chance. Yep, okay. Let's see here. 67. 67. 67. Maybe. Alright, so you hit

with the one that you wanted to hit with. Yep. 64 points of damage from the multi-shot. Second attack. That is a 37 to hit. Okay. Get another 50% miss chance, Zoni. That is a 37 to hit. Okay, get another 50% miss, Chansoni.

That is a 91. All right. Okay. 27 points of damage. Okay. Nice. Keep rolling over. 50, dude.

Third attack. That's another hit. Let's see the concealment. 37. Okay. Damn it. Fourth attack. uh it's another hit let's see the concealment and 37 okay uh fourth attack uh another natty 18 74 okay and what's your uh your attack bonus on that third attack uh 25 okay so you're still way over okay yeah uh that is 31 points of damage oh boy big boy. Big round. On that one. Okay.

So this is fifth attack now. This is the fifth attack. This is 30 to hit. Okay. And the mischance. Mischance. 40. Final attack.

Jesus. That haste. Natural 20. Yes! Oh, come on. Alright, let's do the concealment first. 92. What? To confirm. To confirm. Come on. Oh, cracked eye. Cracked eye.

Oh, it's a 93. Oh, but wait. No, I have critical focus. Yes! That is a 93. Oh, but wait. No, I have critical focus. Yes. That is a 32 on the confirm. That is confirmed. Yes! Oh my goodness!

TNT Dynamite. Oh my goodness. Alright, let's see here. Let's go with Adam From Madison Wisconsin Hi Adam Oh no Adam what are you doing to me buddy

Let's see Okay alright that's fine It's called the electric slide I was worried it was like all electricity damage But it's not the electric slide Your project was worried it was like all electricity damage. But it's not. The Electric Slide, your projectile hits the target with a thunderous force. Very interesting.

All jolta. Doing double damage and the target must make a reflex save or be pushed up to 10 feet in a direction of your choosing, incurring any AOOs from allies along the way. So yeah, double damage and you can attempt to move her if you'd like okay i will not i will move her just for fun what's the role to move reflex save it'll be 32 dc 32 reflex save um fail so you could move okay how about the power to move you. I will move her back and to the left. Back and to the left. And that'll be

82 points of damage. Okay. Alright, so you just hit her five times or four times. Four times. Four out of five. Even with the 50% miss chance. He's focused. He's critically focused on his foe.

He's completely fucked up. It is now Baron's turn. Baron, give me a will save for the stars. For the stars! Is it a spell? It is. Or a 29. Okay. You pass and the stars flip from you and

go to Nestor. Okay, and then what is the 50% mischance that is afflicting Nestor? That's from her being. She's got some sort of smell that's causing. Baron is still in a misfired state from last round. So he is going to spend a grit usage.

He's going to hover first off. So I'll give you that check. Passes with a 15. Exactly. So very close to badville. Do I need a reflex check for the whirlwind i'm in now if i'm going to stay there uh yes just tell me if you're all a natural one okay um i do not okay and i'm going to cast uh so move action grip point clear my gun my gun is normal again and

i'm going to cast the invisibility on myself preemptively for when I get my turn next time. She's not invisible. Yeah, but she might be. She might come. And since I really can't do anything else with this turn with the whirlwind around me, I thought I'd just do that. Sweet. That is Baron's turn. Buffeting in the wind on top of Brumo.

Okay, that is Baron's turn At that moment The whirlwind I gotta move you to move the whirlwind The whirlwind starts flying Back towards The woman

As it does It takes the shape of the bird On her shoulder here in the image Lands on her shoulder And then she with a flourish, says, See you again soon. Oh, no. Come on.

Oh, come on. The worst. Oh, God. Oh, that is the most unsatisfying. Troy, you were talking about feeling guilty at the top of this episode. You should feel guilty for that exit. That's terrible. Just have all the monsters exit and have us fight them all at once

before Volstis. Is that your plan? We're going to fight them all at once with Volstis. This is going to be awful. Yeah, I mean, I don't want to lift the veil here a little bit. Don't blame the writer. I mean, a lot of times they

have like if they get below below this threshold they'll flee or whatever yeah let's just say if nester had hit all of those which was really really hard it's shocking as many as you did amazed i got the option would have been out of my hands right wow plus i got a crit too so yeah yeah so you are uh for all intents and purposes oh and if baron hadn't misfired i still would have had to fly out and i would have had like one shot that yeah probably would have killed it probably would have that's that's two of these bosses that we're now gonna have to fight because baron couldn't shoot them in time well also our we have a caster that doesn't have dimensional anchor which is a common spell to uh dissuade these creatures from doing it at this level.

So yeah, that's a good one to have. Uh, yeah. Yeah. Um, so those, what are you going to do?

I wish Pember for her. I know I do too. You'd have it. Those stars that are floating around you, Nestor, uh, just for shits and giggles, uh,

give me a, a will save. Oh, okay. Uh, well, so that is an, uh, 18, 17, 17, give me a will save. Okay. Well, that is an 18, 17, 17, 17. Okay. So that's actually a fail.

And so you get dazed by those stars and you would have to keep rolling until you pass. And then when you pass, it flips over to Sir Will. Oh, wow. And just keeps bouncing. And then once it hits Sir Will. What a cool spell. It's like it follows. Yeah.

So ideally, it would have dazed Metra, taken you out, and then maybe bounced a bear. But I was very lucky that I was even able to do it because the people need to be 30 feet apart. And based on Pythagoras, where you were, it was exactly 30 feet from Baron. I answer well. But I wanted to go around the horn there. What else? Oh, and it was blank and what was important about your spell casting is you only normally if you cast a spell on a creature

that has blank you have to roll against the mischance unless you can see uh invisible and ethereal and it doesn't affect it so yeah so she's gone and you're just standing there in this strange space that is wide open to the air, yet not as metric, and still put her hand up and touch the ceiling. These creatures seem to just come right out of the sky, not unlike this secret passageway that you found here to the north. What do you do? Level up. Tip-top! I like Matthew's idea. Let's do that.

Tactically, it really would be the best option. Let's explore this secret door because we wouldn't see this door otherwise. Baron is itching. Mostly due to, well, we won't talk about it here, but let's go to this secret door because we wouldn't see this door otherwise baron is itching mostly due to well we won't talk about it here but let's go to that secret did anyone take any damage no no no oh yes turn off good hope nester first out of frustration like maybe one of the giants is like just dying like not quite dead just like moaning. Just walks up like two arrows and knocks in his bow

and just like mucks right up to his eye and shoots him right into his eye. Like pulls them both out. He dies like Lexington. And he turns to the rest. He's a bugger. Before we head into this uh secret passage i think it's uh behooves us to investigate this uh pillar and these lanterns a little bit more what do you say metra i say thee sure all right so i just want to read it and see if there's like any text on

it or and I'm going to detect magic as I get closer and alignment and all that stuff and stop if I sense anything getting hot okay you are detecting magic from the lanterns but not the pillar not the pillar strong divination and illusion

magic okay what Strong divination and illusion magic. Okay. What is to the south where the giants came in from? Just pure sky. They walked right out of the sky into the room. So... Now, to the southwest, there's a staircase leading up. It's sort of off of this open-air room.

leading up. It's sort of off of this open-air room. Baron, perhaps test the sky to the south. Let's see if it's even really there. Baron shoots a bullet into the sky. To the south, you just, you shoot it and you see it hit

the sky. And Oster will trot over him with his lance. He'll just, like, poke at it. See if it just feels like a wall. Yeah, you feel a wall. It must be these lanterns. They're creating the illusion that we are outside. A brilliant bloody deduction.

Thank you, Oster. Thank you for taking that, you know, little abracadabra of me. I don't think I don't appreciate it and i i don't say thank you enough but i want to say it's only because you've rarely done me any favors i wish i could do more for you nesta i do as well i do as well my friend do as well my friend is there a knowledge check i could roll on how they how they came and went people come and go so strangely here. The giants, like how they entered the room.

Yeah, and her, for that matter. Yeah. Were they a theory? Well, Sir Will, you're feeling the wall. Are you feeling a long bit? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Eventually, you feel like an opening. Yeah.

That's what I wanted to know. Where did they come from? Yeah. Do you feel like it feels like a passageway? It's the same thing as what Baron saw. Mm-hmm. Okay. There's another over wanted to know. Where did they come from? Yeah. There's like a, do you feel like, it feels like a passageway. So same thing as what Baron saw. Mm-hmm. Okay. There's another over here, Sheriff.

It's the same exact thing. Like the same way it's hidden? Uh, no. Well, what you found feels like a secret door. What you found, Sir Will, feels just like a door. Is it a door or is it a hallway? No, a doorway. It's a door or is it a hallway? No, a doorway. It's a doorway, yeah, but you're just...

There's still this illusion on the wall. He's like blinking his eyes and trying to shake it away like, disbelieve! Disbelieve! There's no roll? No, you can just walk through if you want. Right. He'll detect evil

on the door? You don't detect any evil it's an evil door um man that makes you want to follow that now uh and part of me until it was an illusion was hoping we'd use the liar of building to like cover up this space but it seems like we don't need to um yeah the only things radiating magic in here are the lanterns themselves. Those remind me of, are they shadow plays? Those old Victorian era things where you could rotate a story around and put just shadows on the wall? That's kind of what these lanterns remind me of. The Museum of the Moving Image in our neighborhoods yeah they have the museum of the moving

image and in our neighborhood here they they have some examples of that yeah that's that's cool i like that detail yeah uh let's go up the secret ladder after we check these bodies of these giants yeah at least so said buddies well can i um can i not do a knowledge check on the lanterns yeah um bookraft knowledge yeah they they seem you don't even have to there's they've been Do a knowledge check on the lanterns? Yeah. Spellcraft knowledge. Yeah, they seem... You don't even have to... They've been enchanted somehow. And you would think that they are the source of this.

Of the sky thing? Of the sky thing, yeah. Got it, okay. Is it nighttime outside now? Where's the nearest window? Okay, so there's an arrow loop to the far west. If you look out that arrow loop, it's not nighttime. It's dark out and stormy, but the sky out there is completely different from the sky that's being projected.

So you have every reason to believe that the lanterns are the source of whatever you're seeing. I wonder what exactly this is meant to emulate. I wonder what exactly this is meant to emulate. Like if this is emulating some specific place or evoking some kind of theme or something. A danger room. And the pillar, it's just a non-distinct pillar. The pillar doesn't matter. The pillar just stands, goes right up into the sky, and ends at the fake ceiling. Can we just destroy the lanterns?

They have hit points, and would that destroy the magic? Do you want to destroy the lanterns? Yeah hit points and would that destroy the magic do you want to destroy a great idea melcore really but why do we want to do that why why this is a nice cast this is a very nice room i bet this was ren falls like third favorite room all right if you're scraping along there sir will you find several openings yeah i'm really disappointed none of you laughed at that by the way the Melkor one? that was an amazing Tolkien joke I just told

to some of you out there I know listening some of you laughed that's for them you're welcome I'm sorry for my colleagues they feel all the more special that we didn't get it do you guys want to destroy the lanterns? No. No.

Sir Will is not... He thinks that they're beautiful. They're just also aiding in like a camouflage attack that totally befuddled all of us. I don't think it was the sky. I think that was Nalbia. I'm just telling you my vote. Do whatever you want.

You want to just start fucking shooting them. Boom, boom, boom. Boom, boom, boom. Fuck these lanterns. The only reason I'm hesitant to do so is when you set off a fireball last episode, Troy wanted to know precisely where the area was to see what it would affect later. And the way he's asking, do you want to destroy them? I don't think it was the lanterns.

I think it was just where she was. I think uh just where she was it was where she was okay can you hear the eagerness in his voice but then that begs yeah okay well that begs the question are you making this decision purely metagaming or are you saying baron is trying to play it safe i can't think of a great reason outside of wanting to get rid of the because you are not able to disbelieve that illusion yet and to be able to more clearly see all of the entries and exits ways out of this room will give us a tactical advantage that we currently don't have if we had like true seeing or something but the sky is not obscuring the doors is it yes yeah it's a projection on top of everything will's feeling the doors but you just and you could walk right through just like they walked walked out. But it's an illusion covering.

It's a glamour covering it. So you think the Barron suggestion may remove the illusion, so you could just see what this room really looks like. I'm with Barron. We've got a 50-50 split, so the vice president has to come into Congress. I think that's how it works. Yeah. Who's the vice president?

David Winters. Spiro agnew we're forgetting we're forgetting we're forgetting lexington oh lexington's oh yes lexington lexington's the vice president which way do you vote lexington president pro tem of the party lexington pulls a d100 out of his settlement. He votes with Grant. Really? Wow. It's shocking. He loves Grant.

He loves Grant. The lower numbers were the shitty ones. That was Grant. You're just still angry about these dice. You're still angry you didn't get one and that your name is natural one because you're associated with failure. Troy hates every single gift given to him by people. And he picks up this die and he's like, this is really nice. First one he's ever said it about.

These really are nice. And I don't get one. We get lots of dice and I like all of them. I always appreciate dice. They're all admiring the dye now they're really nice see how it looks against the sunlight

it's beautiful you guys are jerks I like when it came up Troy I like when it came up Troy yeah the only yours also came up

Joe it did it's true not since I got a skid earlier did you do you remember I do

I do that was cool it's cool when you see your own name on a on a die and it represents the success yeah they're really the way that catches the light all right okay fine you know what i'm going out of this room if you want to do it go ahead do it their world goes 140 feet away all right i'll let nester do it metra does as well good luck don Wait, wait.

We'll just shoot arrows until it falls over. Sounds like a plan, Nestor. You got it. He's hiding behind a dead giant's body, like giving a thumbs up over the corpse. Go for it, Nestor. All right, look. To appease you, let's see what happens.

He will fire an arrow at the pillar to see what it did. Or a lantern. A lantern. Yeah, so you hit it. It's got some sort of hardness, but there are hit points to it, and you hit it, and you're doing damage to it. Okay. Out of my everlasting quiver. I do actually have one. I start, I just keep...

Just start peppering with arrows. Flunk, flunk, flunk, flunk. You take out one of the lanterns, and you turn your attention to the other one. It takes a while, but eventually you get rid of both lanterns, and now you can see the room. All right. It's a shame. Good job, Master. Won't have this beautiful room again.

Yep. I'm telling Renfall it was you. And he walks around collecting his arrowheads. Renfall's dead. You see several doors oh uh leading to other areas of the castle it's a set of double doors to the north uh and four single doors to the south two of which are uh further ahead than the ones in the back that are exactly lined up with the lanterns. So this is the door here to the west.

Southwest is the one that she came out of. Yeah, so that first door, it seemed like she came out of there, and then one cloud giant each came out of the two doors to the south, and then the one on the southeast. Nothing really came from over there. But Baron, your door is still secret. My door is still secret. And goes to a ladder, you said?

Yeah, here, I can show you what it looks like in the wall. Oh, great. All right, let's go there. Let's go there. Shug-gung-gung-goo. All right. Somebody clean up these giant corpses. They're annoying to look at on the map. Metricast, press the digitization. Because that's what that does. Clean up giant corpses. They're annoying to look at on the map. Metricast, press the digitization.

Because that's what that does. Clean up the corpses. We have an Ace of Hearts. Your calling card for your latest murder. Looks like the Ace of Hearts killer has struck again in the castle. They've killed almost everyone.

The Ace of hot screw. All right, so you come to this ladder, and Metro, the second you stand in there, you say, oh, this looks exactly like the ladder I came up, but you know its placement is different from the one you came up. In fact, Metro, I can even show you that on the opposite side

of the room is the other ladder, and that's the one you came up oh okay that was many many episodes ago but looking at this ladder the ladder goes up and it goes down cool oh so there's a secret downstairs or something or it is did we i can't remember what this where we're a dungeon can we is there a dungeoneering check we do see where we are just go just go downstairs why are you asking me wait i'm fine i think it just goes down oh it does not let me check to make sure um yeah i'm sorry it just goes down all right and i'll save you some time you do if you take the ladder down it just takes you

into the room directly below you that you've already been in. And so you just realize that there's another secret door. Cool. Great. Sweet. And that's how you ascended it. It was like right around the Abyssal Gigas fight that you ascended that ladder from that other room. You just never saw this other secret. All right.

So let's enter the room that the beautiful, deadly, birded creature came out of. Birded? Birded. Is that an adjective? That is. Now it is. I am the law. I am the law.

I am. I'm the law-er. I am the ground. I'm the law-er of this group. All right. Sir Willemette will approach the door. And, I mean, did she pass through the door or did she

open the door? The door's open. Oh, the door's. Yeah. Well, what's inside? You look inside and you see a long cock. This fucking reveal. You see a long cock.

What was she doing in there? Every time I hit reveal, it hides. You see a long room. It's beautiful. There are two giant-sized beds, like a bedroom. Cabinets, stools. There's a large desk and a chair sitting in one corner and an ornate polished steel stove sitting in the opposite corner oh yeah

all right hold on a second can we go back here what what happened at the end of the fight uh the bird flew to her shoulder and then she cast something and winked out of existence the bird flew to her shoulder okay so she did not go and she and she did not go and she it flew and baron couldn't attack it came down and around and she did not go invisible she like teleported yeah it looked very similar to the magic that metro uses okay so i was like wait a minute where did she walk out of? Okay, I missed that. Yeah, Metro effect. Actually, both of you would have, Baron and Metro would have, if she had gone invisible, you would have seen her. Yeah.

Right, yeah. Or ethereal in Metro's case. All right. Yeah. This bedroom, Sir Will will walk into the bedroom. Okay. Mounted upon Lexington, and they will trot in and start looking around. Okay.

You start rifling through things. Um, and it's the cabinet that, uh, seems to have, uh, the only interesting things in the room in it, perhaps her personal effects.

Uh, there's a pair of gem encrusted silk gloves, long, beautiful, a, uh, there's a pair of gem-encrusted silk gloves, long silk gloves. A carved wooden staff with a hawk's head knob. A dark wood comb,

a dark wood perfume vial, an ermine vest inlaid with platinum, a golden diadem, and a silken robe. And they're all sized for a huge creature. However she was, she certainly appreciated the finer things.

Couldn't agree more, Nestor. It's worth some money, everything. I'll just tell you, the diadem's worth 4,000 gold. The vest is 5,000. The robe's 800. The knob, like 1,500 for the comb none of it's magic none of it's magical

it's all just mundane badass fancy stuff which has incredible taste this is the banality of evil right it's like all they really want are just nice jewelry and that's why they're bad people she was queen of Zephyr Hall she was married to the lord of Zephyr Hall she was the lady of Zephyr Hall. She was married to the lord of Zephyr Hall.

Really? She was the lady of Zephyr Hall. She's the lady of the hall. You would assume that, yeah, this is not... So did she betray the original? When her husband died, she and her supporters wanted to take over, but Renfall opposed that.

That's not how things work, necessarily. How do things work well he didn't trust her and he was right not to um but that caused a schism and so she went to her brother and said hey i need this castle and then some other stuff went down what was the other stuff the brother is staying involved brother is like i'm in love i'm in love with my pet rock The brother is like, I'm in love with my pet rock. And, okay, here's the castle. But, like, I'm going to reserve the right to, you know, have my rock and fly around.

And until that rock gets thrust into an extra-dimensional maze. That old story. And I fall to my almost death. Tale as old as time. Oh, rock. The bird. Yeah. Rock. Yeah. Okay. story and i fall to my almost death as old as time oh rock the bird yeah rock yeah yeah okay i was thinking like the 70s pet rock that's also interesting that was the first thought i had yeah and then as he kept going i was like this is a dumb joke why does he keep telling this joke oh i get oh it's still a dumb joke all Just kidding. Can we do a take 20 on the bedroom?

Mm-hmm. And really get in there? Nothing in there. Really get in there. All right. Where next, Sheriff? Let's clear out these southern doors. To the south!

I will tell you, in taking 20... We ride. The only thing you notice is it looks like two people were staying in here. That's the only other thing that I kind of have noticed. It looks like someone was staying in there with her. Maybe she and her brother and the rock have an interesting relationship. There are no feathers. There's some men's underpants

and also some bird underpants. Baron takes two DNA samples and leaves one of his own in the corner. There's a thong with the butthole cut out. Prominently displayed on the mat. You're aware that a thong can very easily be moved to the side. Therein lies the mystery. How do you get a hole in the thong?

It's no longer a thong at that point. It's just a loincloth. I just love how it's prominently displayed. It's not like, oh, we found this in the corner. It's like pinned on a board and framed. That's the only way you would notice that there was a hole kind of displayed out. It belonged to the bird. It belonged to the bird.

You start searching these other rooms, and they were all very similar, so I'm going to reveal them at once. Whoa. Oh, he definitely wants to finish in ten episodes. One is longer. One kind of mimics the size of Nalbia's room. The other two are shorter, and the other two are where the cloud giants came out of.

They're all clean, pretty spacious, and furnished with finely crafted giant-sized beds, cabinet stools, just like Nalvia's room. High-quality woolen blankets, quilts, sheets cover the bed. And then each wall to the south has a narrow arrow slip piercing the south wall and a polished steel stove sitting in the corner of each room. Looks like they're all in use, no doubt housing the giants that you just killed, and perhaps previously housed cloud giants who were murdered in the coup.

And not unlike all the other rooms that you've seen so far, it's meticulously clean in here. Someone is cleaning up after themselves and making it look very neat. We spill some powdered sugar in each of the rooms. Put some powdered sugar and then pour some milk on it. Each of the cabinets

in all the rooms have just a slew of giant-sized personal effects, ornaments, fine items, probably worth about a thousand gold each. So there's a lot of money. And taking 20, it doesn't matter.'re doing it okay uh double doors to the north we have two double doors we have double doors that uh we found uh to the north east northwest as we are now uh as we walked up the stairs but we went into this other entrance and double doors that were obscured

behind this illusion and as i look up up, the pole, the column, right in the middle of the room, now that there's no illusion there, just goes to a ceiling? Yeah, yeah, just a ceiling. Got it. What's the ceiling look like now that there's no illusion? Slain, like every other ceiling. How disappointing.

Yeah. All right, moving on. Should we go through these double doors? To the double doors to the north. Okay. To the north. The good news is those double doors connect to the double doors that were at the top of the staircase. And you recognize this room as it's the room where you killed those fire giants.

Oh! Oh! Right. You should have just left it open before. I closed it so you would be disoriented. I was disoriented. Wind blew it shut after we left. Yes.

They still haven't moved the bodies? No, they started to decay. Oh, that stinks. Yeah, this was the room when you came up the secret passageway that was in the fireplace. Right. This was probably like three days ago in game time, maybe? Something like that. Three or four, yeah.

Can you reveal the rest of the room, Troy? Isn't there like a staircase or something? Yeah, it's just probably going to reveal. Give me 45 minutes. Sure. And then did we, what did we do in this room? Did we go, I feel like we used this room for like the orc fight. Did we go up, down to the orcs?

The lower you go, the lower on the totem pole of importance to the people here. Yeah, first you went all the way to the top and you fought the Langspiders. One escaped. And then you came down and you fought these guys. And in between, there's another level, but the fireplace didn't open into that level. Correct. Between this level and the the spider is the volstice level it was very high up um yeah okay okay and we've already searched this room to

where it is so our only option is to go east and i'm guessing there's another south right uh or those stairs going down troy the southwestern stairs are they oh yes the stairs in this room go up in this room and also the ones to the south yeah the stairs in this room go up and then the stairs that are uh you know to the south of that room where you just fought that battle those climb up and you know where those climb up those climb up up to the turrets. You haven't explored them yet. The turrets that overlook the garden? They overlook the whole southern part of the castle. Okay.

That's where the saddles were and whatnot, and the nest. Wait, the spiral stairs in the room with the dead fire giants go up? They go up, yeah. But you guys just came here and said, you know what, we're taking one floor at a time. You saw the double doors leading out to the west and to the south, and you were like, let's take this one at a time, so there are stairs leading

up as well. Oh, right, and that was the floor we didn't get to, because there was an opening in the secret ladder. The fireplace secret ladder did not lead out to that floor. Right. Mmm. I don't know what to do. I think we should go up the southwestern things and examine the turrets that we already sort of know are there. Or we go to the east.

As we cross over there, can we see further east? I'm sorry, I forgot about east. Let's go east and explore that. Is there anything down this way? And does this ladder also lead just straight down? Sorry, which east? The wide hallway to the east the we're pinging now just what do we see a metric can see like 120 you've already been over there

oh that's the hallway that ends it yeah that's just a wall oh okay oh so the only ways are the stairs up by the fire giants or the stairs up to the right let's do this yeah i'm sorry for people at home we can't see this map but uh the point is that this floor looks like you've completely cleared it out, unless there are other secret entrances. And so your only ways to new places are the staircase up to the south here that Metro's already been up, or this staircase in the throne room, or whatever you want to call it. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

So you want to do the turrets because we know you. Yes. We've seen those already. The devil you know or the devil you don't. Yeah, I don't want to go up those spiral staircase with the fire giants ever. So I'll do the southwestern stair here. Let's go up. Okay.

Sir Will will go up. Metro says it's cool. He'll go up. You go first. Send the stealthiest. Clank, clank, clank, clank, clank. Yeah, I can go. Oh, I can scout ahead.

All right. Nesta scouts ahead. I will stealth up. Nesta rolls a 34 for stealthens. 34 for stealthens. These boots are 34 for stealthens 34 for stealthens these boots are made for stealth all right so you want to start stealthing up the staircase leading up okay so who's behind nesta nesta you're going ahead i'm assuming yeah let me reveal more of the staircase now that you can all see it oh a landing yeah it. Yeah, it's a landing, and then it keeps climbing up. And again, at a certain

point, you have to start making climb checks to get up these stairs. Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. These are giant steps for huge creatures. I'm not going to make you actually make those climb checks, but just imagine that's what you're doing. You're going up them very methodically, very slow.

It's like Rick and Morty. Yes. Sadist. There's what you're doing. You're going up them very methodically, very slow. It's like Rick and Morty. Yes. Sadist. There's a little bar here. Captain Wizard. King Jellybean. Yeah. Oh, God.

All right. You scout ahead. I'm going to stay on the landing and just wait for Nestor's call to go forward if he's stealthing ahead. I wait for Nestor's call to go forward. If he's stealthing ahead. I'll follow Nestor, I suppose. I can be stealthy.

So will Baron. Literally made of shadow. Let's go to a new map. Ooh. I've kind of placed you haphazardly here around this winding staircase, but Nestor and Metro would be in the front with sir will and baron in the back something like that okay um yeah this is what i said overlooking the garden yeah overlooking there this is did i did i open the garden so you can see the garden yep yeah okay beautiful one garden all right yeah let's go um this is awesome Yep. Yeah. Okay. Beautiful. One garden. All right. Yeah.

Let's go. This is awesome. And keep in mind, there's two ways you can go here. There's like a lone turret to the east, and then to the southwest is what leads to where those nests were. Come on. So did we have an encounter in there with the nests? No, Metra came up here solo. Okay.

Alright. It's southwest. Let's go to the nests and kill whatever's in there if there's something left. Take away that mount. Nest to the nest and kill whatever's in there if there's something left. Take away their mounts. Nest to the nest. Nestor goes stealthily down the way until he gets within about 15 feet of the opening of the room

and can get a better view. And I'm going to do a perception check at that point. That's pretty good that is a 35 35 so there's a an enormous archway that opens into this circular room up ahead that is completely open to the sky. Two huge bird nests made of tree trunks and twisted interwoven branches.

You see two steel poles extending upward to a ledge that Metro's already seen before. So you can kind of reach the ledge from the steel poles you might have to um climb up there you're not sure metro was flying so she was able to just fly right up but up ahead it's all open to the sky and you don't see anything in there okay nester moves up right to the threshold and he'll just gesture behind him for everybody else to come up.

One thing I didn't say is the staircase that you came up kept going up. And so, Metro, you've been up to the level above the poles. I think you flew up there. And so that's how I remember it. And so up there is another walkway that leads to a staircase. So the point is, if you can't fly or climb up the poles, the staircase that you just came up will climb up above to the station above. But where you are right now, Nestor, as you call the rest of the group forward, you just see that it opens up to the sky. And then above you is this half ledge with a long walkway that mimics the walkway that you just came down. Hmm.

Okay. So, should we go to the throne room now? Wait. So, if we come to this nest room, that's it? This is the whole nest room? It doesn't go deeper in? Yeah, it appears to just be a dead end with the exception of the ledge above and the nests. All right.

Uh, so turn back. Do you want to investigate the nests? Quick little search. Um, dig around Lexington. Maybe find a place to, uh, we'll investigate the nests. Do all of you walk, uh, past the archway over to the nests? No. Do all of you walk past the archway over to the nests?

No. Baron and Nestor will stay. Nestor gets to be for himself, but we're range characters guarding Sir Will's back. Wait, so you just ordered me to rifle through these shitty nests? I asked if you wanted to, and you said sure. Go dig around

this animal's filth. Do you want me to take a nest too? Alright, I'll go in. I'll take a nest too if you complain. I just thought this is something we were doing, Sheriff. I'm sorry. I'll go in there and stick my face in it. So Sir Will goes alone towards the nests. Yeah. Okay, so you go in

to explore the nests. It's a very strange feeling. Just these huge, huge tree trunks. You see bird droppings covering them, and they're just enormous. And you've now seen what the rock looks like

that the cloud giant was on, so it makes sense. It's probably its nest. You're rifling around, and you look back at the group and you hear something from above the sound of wings oh no and all of you hear it nestor baron and metroid do you do anything I cast fly on Nestor. Okay. Cool.

Baron? Baron will hop onto his broom. Nestor? Nestor is gonna fly up to the top of the threshold. Just like so his ceilings, his it just get a little as high as he can so he's still at the still has an end of the room okay uh so he's about 50 feet up that's where the ceiling is uh obviously above this on the walkway and where the ledge is that's open to the air

sir what do you do i can't see a creature you hear hear it. I just hear it. You hear something, so you have a chance to react. I will do total defense. Total defense. Coming out of the sky, you see that cloud giant on his rock. Oh, wow.

Flying towards you. Oh. Again. Okay. And we'll see you next week. Oh, no! I mean, it was already a long hit, but I kind of want to fight this motherfucker right now!

I do the same thing. Maze. He will never fly over open ground again. He'll only fly over Castle Rampart. His rock just has like aluminum foil all over the top of his skull. What was funny is he came in, he was flying on a rock, and then he ended up dropping like a rock. Oh! Oh!

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