The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 318 - Between a Roc and a Hard Place

Episode Date: March 8, 2022

The cloud giant Nalbur returns astride his roc mount to rain down pain upon the heroes! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca Order up for Rebelsis! You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment last week on the glass cannon podcast a beautiful female cloud giant appears she appeared out of the sky as she blew stars in your face confronted with a beguiling enchantress. In that case, he is going to then charge. For harmony!

For harmony! For harmony. For harmony. Bam! Soda! 53 to hit. Oh, my God! The heroes relied once again on the slayer.

Natural 20. Yours. Oh, come on. That is a 32 on the confirm. That is confirmed. Yes! Oh, come on. That is a 32 on the Confirmed. That is Confirmed. Yes! Oh my goodness! What?

But just as one enemy escaped. The whirlwind starts flying back. It takes the shape of the bird. Lands on her shoulder. And then she, with a flourish, says, See you again soon. Oh no! Another

returned. Coming out of the sky, you see that cloud giant on his rock. Oh wow. Flying towards you. The adventure continues now. All right, couple options for banter up top this week. Ooh, a selection.

Yeah, a little selection. We're going to throw it out. Like a poo-poo platter. A charcuterie of bullshit. Only two options, though. Do we either talk about the Elden Ring or what you would do when a nuke inevitably hits New York? Those are the two options.

Honestly, we've been in the studio for... I'm going to pull back the curtain. We've been in the studio. We're now, oh, an hour and 20 minutes past our call time, mostly because Troy and Grant and then Joe were talking about the Elden Ring. So I'm going to vote for option two. Well, well i was gonna say like both options sound equally unpleasant to me so you guys you guys pick we know what matthew and skid are picking uh

we i think i joked about a giant slayer not too long ago about the uh the missiles and uh whatnot but like well what would you do? Like, do you think you could hide out in a basement, put some towels under the door, and wait it out for a couple days? Or is it... I'd be vaporized. I live in New York City. You live in New York City. You'd be vaporized.

Yeah. I don't know if you've ever looked at the radius of most modern nuclear weapons, Troy, but you're also in that blast radius, buddy. Well, you know, it's funny. It's not funny. I don't know what the word is. Scary. Terrifying. My wife looked the other day, and we're out of the radius. Depends on what kind of nuke it is.

Yeah, I know. She didn't know exactly where it was going to come, but... Yeah, if you're talking about the size. What if it was a tactical nuke designed just to get Williamsburg? Take that, hippiesies that's what you get for not shampooing your hair if you're talking about the yield of uh fat man and little boy the atomic bombs used in world war ii yes you're safe but with modern megaton you're dead well you're

dead but are you initially killed in the initial blast if you're like, what are you, 40 miles away, 30 miles away? I don't know. Skid did a really good answer to this a while ago. We talked about this a while ago. He's like, I don't want to survive the blast. I just want to be gone. No, I want to hightail it as fast as I can to the closest ground zero detonation site. Because especially like after watching Chernobyl, I just, I don't want to be no thank you i'll take

the quick effort over the slow i had this exact discussion in a health class in high school and a lot of you know that that was the point like in the very beginnings or even pre-wikipedia so we were all talking like we knew what we were talking about but actually had no information whatsoever and all of us were like yeah i'd run here and hide there to make a shelter here and finally our health teacher who was a very like level-headed woman and very very smart and very level-headed was like what are you talking about if a nuclear blast is new york city i'm walking out into my porch with a glass of scotch and kissing my ass goodbye yeah yeah that's how you have to do it that's that's really i think think. Did you have drills like when you were kids that hide under your desk? No.

I did. I did not have those. They ended probably like two years after you did that. Yeah. Yeah. It does seem strange. I do remember seeing a nuclear fallout shelter on like a sign at my school. Yeah.

It's like, who else is using that? Yeah. Where is it there's stuff in there they have like saltines and stuff if you don't get vaporized right but you're near enough where the radiation is going to be a problem do you think you can hide out in your basement uh for a few days and block all uh the because people are like thinking of uh solutions to sort of make yourself safe. But do you think it would actually work if you just like stuff towels everywhere and don't let anything in?

You just stay down there and watch the news? I mean, is there any chance you're going to make it out? What kind of towels are we talking about? Are you putting your faith in bath towels to protect you from a nuclear bomb? I don't know. Maybe towels wasn't the right word. Tape? I don't know.

Not the bomb. Will it stop the radiation? Yeah. Will it stop the radiation yeah will it stop the radiation uh masking tape will it stop the radiation i mean i just want to make sure i got your question well i would i would say if you're going to use towels don't use any towels that you're particularly attached to because you will not be able to use those towels again that's fair yeah clothing and i think fabric absorbs radiation. Yeah.

See, this is why people live in the middle of nowhere. They're onto something. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I said something on the lab. It's funny.

We keep talking about how this is the second episode recently where we've had this discussion, but I mentioned something about like, well, this is why it's kind of tempting to just move out to Oklahoma and just be outside of these major cities for when these nuclear blasts go off and like survive for a while with, you know,

the guns and everything in the minefields. Just to be clear, you want to move to the state where we keep our nuclear arsenal? that's, that's what I was going to say around a bunch of, and that's what happens. Subterranean silos. Yeah.

Somebody emailed and was like, you know, that's where all America's nuclear weapons are. So that's probably the first target. And I was like, Oh no, I like you know that's where all america's nuclear weapons are so that's probably the first target and i was like oh no i didn't know that yeah there's like no good place to live unless you want to live totally like in the wild and away from all cell phone reception even like yeah even then you're key west yeah i'm a meeting to go but it's already a nuclear fall no offense to those listeners could you imagine though catching the punchline catching the first wave after a nuclear blast and just cowabunga in on the best surf ride you've ever had in your life that must be fun the best

radioactive surf right yeah green glowing water Best last surf ride you ever had. Ha ha ha, wipeout. The other good thing about going down to the basement is that you can play more Elden Ring. Yeah, yeah. The downside being, thank God the game operates without online play. So it should be fine. Yeah, that would be the real worst part of it, is having to go into offline mode. And losing everyone you love that still lived in the city but mainly that offline that offline mode no more updates i know i'm i'm relegated to only summoning npcs it would truly be horrible

oh yeah it's very scary scary time to be alive but good thing we have shows like this huh huh where we just completely ignore it and don't talk about yep this is where you come to escape it's where you come to escape everything wait is there a place that's relatively safer that would last for a couple hundred years after a nuclear detonation in dc or a legit fallout shelter well yeah yeah vault a vault fallout style vault but i mean like a state or a city or an area that you think is like really safe saskatchewan saskatchewan but it's so they have rough winters, right? Yeah. Not quite. I don't want to have to shovel.

Nuclear winter. Saskatchewan winters are probably a little bit below a nuclear winter. Oh, actually, with the nuclear winter, it would be way worse, though. Yeah. Oh, okay. I'm reading right now on Google that Antarctica is the safest place to be. Yeah. Yeah. You got a lot of... I hear it's warming up there. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah. So, yeah. You got a lot of...

I hear it's warming up there. Yeah. Yeah. The frontier. Well, good. So we have some options, is what you're saying. Right. You're telling me there's a chance.

You either drive to Times Square or fly to Antarctica. Those are your two options, listeners. I mean, with enough notice, you probably could take a boat to Antarctica. Could you? Yeah. Where does it depart? I don't know. My sister was supposed to go to Antarctica. New York City.

Oh, shit. With enough notice. If you're like, you know what? Well, no, you'd have to like. I'm fairly confident a missile is forthcoming. Let me go get on that boat. Yeah. No, you'd have to like fly down to tierra del fuego

and punta arenas chile is the most popular departure point for antarctic air cruises oh air yeah well yeah can you take a boat to antarctica yeah it happens in the crown how do you take the drink passage i didn't know it was that easy. Approximately 54,000 visitors make the journey each year with around 50 expedition vessels sailing Antarctic waters each season. Drawback, you've got to live in Antarctica. Yeah. I told you I applied for a job down there once. Did you? Did you really?

Yeah. They had like a job festival in Denver, a job fair for Antarctica antarctica and i was i was out of work it's like yeah i'll work in antarctica so i applied to work in the video store in mcmurdo station didn't get it didn't get it but you weren't qualified i wasn't qualified don't they don't they make you go through like an intense psychological profile to make sure you don't yeah they do and i didn't actually get to that stage wait what is this so if you're going to live in such isolation they want to make sure you're not going to lose your mind and potentially attack people so they make you go through like a very intensive even just like working at the video store they would want to make sure that you

would be have the constitution necessary to handle living there like being an astronaut you're gonna go through all those tests. Yeah. Can you handle the isolation? Is the test that they just say, does it just prompt you? Nobody trusts each other anymore. How do you feel? And if you respond tired,

then they're like, you're out. Well, hopefully we'll be around to at least finish Giant Slayer. I will say I'm not concerned. Oh i'm not concerned really i look to you skid for uh sort of a uh you're a fountain of knowledge and truth and so if you're not worried then i'm a little less worried i'm a little concerned but i'm not not seriously concerned it's i i i don't think we have to worry that much but this is definitely definitely a a frightening time and there's a lot of like horrible stuff happening all it takes is one fucking psychopath uh who has their finger on the button to ruin it for everybody yeah you'd think

that someone is going well okay do it and that's it's true that is that is the scary thing but that's always been true and we have come frighteningly close a few times but uh it's funny too i was actually down visiting uh my dad down in albuquerque and one of his buddies one of his uh bar buddies is a tech at the uh the the labs down there they do all the you know the nuclear labs are situated down there and uh the broken arrow uh term came up and uh he was pretty drunk and he was just like that kind of thing happens more often than you think oh my god i was like okay well that's that's a little alignment you gotta talk about the rod stewart son yes right who else is gonna bring you a broken arrow skid also you live close to norad yeah yeah yeah actually i stayed i was doing a production of hamlet for the air force academy

and they put us up at the broadmoor hotel which is like we went out they they were great like we went out in the back uh balcony and there's a mountain it's like all those lights in that mountain it's like that's norad and it's like we could see norad like from the room it was awesome we have friends that work for the government let us know if we should be worried or not because because when we were in Boston a couple years ago, right before COVID hit, we were all like, get out of here, you crazy disease, they'll never touch our lives. And then

Joe and I were at a bar with our friend, who had a friend who worked for the government, and he's like, yeah, no, you want to start getting supplies. We're like, what are you talking about? This kind of shit happens all the time. So... Yeah, let us know. Let us know if we should be really worried kind of shit happens all the time. So, uh, yeah, let us know. Let us know if we should be really worried.

If you work in the Pentagon, if you have access to a capital shelter, please let us know about that. Yeah. That would be the, the followup question. And can we come share your fallout shelter? Yeah.

With our families. Refresh your fallout shelter with our small children. And mainly how is the internet connection? so I can summon NPCs from Antarctica? Antarctica-based NPCs. I'm going to use the Antarctica server. It's silver lining. You'll get to watch Troy play Elden Ring. Right.

That's it. Yeah. You don't even have to do it over stream. You don't have to stream it. You can watch it live. It's like a live Twitch. This is like a live Twitch. I could do that. Spending time with other It's like a live Twitch. This is like a live Twitch.

I could do that. Spending time with other people is like a live Twitch. Have you thought about that? Have you ever thought about that? Wow. It's like Twitch, but you can feel their body heat. Well, even though this episode isn't being streamed to Twitch, it's happening live for us. And the first time for you who are listening. That's my segue.

Great segue. Thank you. Unless this is your re-listen. Right. Unless this is your second time through. Unless you heard that banter and you're like, I need to listen to that episode. I got to go back to that nuke banter. I've had a rough day. I need to listen to that episode yeah i got i gotta go back to that nuke banter i've had a rough day i need to listen to this again if you're in that shack in antarctica

years from now uh doing your third listen of this then yeah no technically this isn't the first time you've listened it's the third but last week because it's the last surviving source of entertainment. It's the Glass Cannon podcast. You happen to have a few Glass Cannon episodes downloaded on your phone when the world ended, and then you're just stuck listening to the same five episodes over and over again. That happened to me once. My cable, this was back when I... I never paid my bills, and they shut my cable off, and all I had was... Well, it was on your DVR.

Yeah, it was on my dvr and it was like christmas specials and the uh what is the the the festivus episode of seinfeld because i was kind of lumped into my christmas so i watched that festivus episode of seinfeld on repeat all day long if that's happening to you in the future um we apologize yeah i'm sorry god i don't drive anyone insane how did you get an anteroic in the first place you guys came up to the next level uh after uh after the uh the the witch the sister got away you right, well, let's search these bedrooms, found a lot of rich people stuff, but nothing really helpful to you. And so you decided to go up. And you went up this winding

staircase to the next level where Metro had been before with two turrets, one to the east. You're like, let's go down to where these nests are in that half open turret to the south. Now, the stairs that you came up, I said it towards the end of the episode, those keep going up to the level above where you're at. And it's kind of like a half platform with poles, fireman poles leading down to where these two giant nests are. The nests are made of tree trunks and covered in huge bird droppings. You guys basically push Sir Will out past the archway, this magnificent archway that leads onto the half-open turret.

And Sir Will begins rooting around in the bird poop. Right here? I should stand here i i re-listened to the end of that episode and i remember when you realized you were out there by yourself and i just went i'm sorry i still stand by my apology joe yeah it's fine it's a bold move uh it'll be fine i'm surprised no one else went with you i just can't believe the way that you play sometimes i can't you especially come on whoever got hurt by a bird are you saying you expect more out of matthews i'm just saying i expect more boldness just get out there you're invisible and shit i'm nothing i mean i nester can fly i can fly yes as you heard uh wings flapping towards your, I gave you all a chance to react.

Oh, right. Metricast fly on Nestor. Baron jumped on the broom. Nestor flew up. And Sir Will, very wisely, went to total defense. Should we dance? Are we dancing? We're dancing.

We're Tony dancing. Because flying towards you Yet again Is this cloud giant You assume it's Nalbur On his giant rock mount They've reunited And the rock mount has stickers From the maze

Looked like it was a good time I did the maze and all I got was this t-shirt All I got was this t-shirt It was all tan. I heart maze. Oh my god, I want that shirt. I heart maze. I heart maze.

I love New York City. I heart the maze. I heart interdimensional maze. This is going to be an interesting episode, to say the least. So let's slowly get into it with a roll for initiative. Roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, too. I'll roll that for the next roll. I think I'll use it now. Oh, shit. Joe, what does it say on your die, Joe? It says natural 20 on my die.

Oh! Natural 20! Did you mean to say grant? You got a die that says grant? Yeah. Oh, perfect. Oh, that's right. I'm sorry.

I forgot you were making sport of me. We were jesting. I'm sorry. I forgot you were making sport of me. We were jesting. At your expense. Well, sir, well then, what is that in total? 19? 22. Oh, wow. Okay. Nestor? 18.

18? Another low roll. Netra? 23. Curious. Barron? 28. Oh! With the quick draw McGraw. 23. Curious. Baron. 28. Ooh. Okay. Okay. With the quick draw McGraw.

Bear, bear. I rolled a natural 20 as well. Ooh. Oh, no. That's why I was a little nervous when you rolled yours. And Baron, you rolled 28. What did you roll? 13 on the die.

13 on the die. A Baron crazy initiative. Grant, if I were to say to you, let me just stand over your shoulder and watch you rebuild Baron from scratch. Uh-huh. Would you do it? Would I rebuild him? Like, with all the same choices, you mean? Yeah.

I just don't know how you did it. I want to. Yeah, I also want you to stream Elden Ring so I can see what you're doing. He talks. Big game. Grant talks a big Souls game. Yeah. Big Souls game.

I want to see it streamed. You should stream your excellence. Or you should stream it. You cheese everything. I don't cheese everything. You're French! Show yourself! I was lower level than you

when I beat Magritte. I know. I know. And Magritte is hard to cheese unless you summon a bunch of people and just stand in the back and stay alive. But I want to see. I want to show yourself.

I really want to see. No, this is a compliment to you because you know what you're doing. You don't make any choice without making sure that it's the wise choice. Don't want to go back into it, but this is, I get accused of min-maxing all the time with Baron. My Elden Ring character, I am just going like spread out even everywhere i'm not going because i want to try everything i want yeah i'm building i'm building dela actually i'm building a magus in the game yeah so just kind of a fighter yeah swordy yeah that's great i'll probably do the same thing like i usually like quick weapons to hit with and magic so it is it's very dela ish may just. Everybody wants to play Dex until you get stomped

for 25 hours. It's really hard to imagine caring any less about this. Skid, I think if you just avoided combat, you would really enjoy the game. I did. I watched some of Joe playing it, and it's a gorgeous game. It's just like the gameplay itself

just doesn't interest me. Gotta watch some Vati Vidya. That's his name? Vati Vid? The lore master of Elder Scrolls? Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure I would. Anyway. Well, Baron, you rolled the highest initiative and I think that's

just perfect. So what would you like to do? I don't like that. Oh, you can stand on the rock. What? Where is the creature? Where is... Surfing the rock. What do I see, Troy?

Sorry, if you can't see this at home, which is everyone, the way I have the pond... It's a real show-off. The way I have the pond set up. Nalpur is just standing on the rock's back. He is. Like surfing the rock. Surfing. Oh, is just standing on the rock's back. Like surfing the rocks.

Oh my god. Proudly. It's like doing a trick on a bicycle. He's like, watch this. Watch this, guys. He's got pitons that are into the rock's back. It's like Chuck Yeager standing on the wing

of an aircraft. Take a screenshot. tweet it out. I'll forget, but I'll take the photo. All right, Baron, what do you want to do? Well, it looks like our quarry is so far away as to be outside of my two range increments, actually. And he's up at an angle, too, so add a little bit. Part of me wants to pull a Joe O'Brien and delay. Pee yourself?

Pee myself. Pee myself. Yeah, the only other thing I could do is I could help buff. I'm going to help. I'm going to... Should I hold and just try to deal damage and see what happens when he gets closer, or should I buff Nestor a tad? I think he's going to have some sort of fly-by attack.

I think we're better off with you holding and just dealing all the damage you can. Yeah, you also kind of... Holding also allows you to just get a little more info about what this guy is going to do. And what are you going to buff on Nestor? I'm just going to share my judgment with him and pull down a judgment i would really just raise his ac or his damage yeah i wouldn't do that damage is fine but like taking his ac up two points is not gonna matter this is this is the character really thing that i really want to learn from you grant is that i've at a certain point i've just discovered like they're gonna hit the monsters are just gonna hit no matter what my ac is right unless you're sure what yes right sir will has litany of defense which is good for a single round of like survival which is

dope um i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna hold i'm gonna wait to see i'm gonna get some more information and we're i'm gonna take take my action then all right then um it is then my turn I was hoping I'd have a little more time But it's happening So the rock comes screeching at you About halfway down Nalbur fires off A litany of shots against you Multiple shots

Oh, I was hoping he'd get close. Yeah, he gets close enough. Within 50 feet. He's not melee attacking. I forgot he was a bowman. A bowman! Yeah, so when you... I don't want to get into mounted attacks and all this shit, because it is

exhausting. I've read a lot about it. I'm sure I'm going to do some things right. Mounted archery. But basically, after I make all the ride checks, which with his ride score, everything I have to worry about is pretty much automatic. He can fire multiple attacks at you. Can't do it with melee, but he can do all of his attacks at range. And there's certain penalties based on how fast the mount is moving. The mount will have one action unless I choose to double move.

So basically, he fires off all these attacks, and they happen at the midway point of him flying towards you. So the point is, he's within 50 feet, and that's important for the sneak attack damage that he will deal you if he hits. Shit.

Because of deadly range. So let's see. You've got total defense. I'm assuming your AC is still pretty unhittable. Do you get the bonus that Baron does against giants? He's a halfling. I get a one-point bonus for anything larger than me. Okay.

All right. So let's see. Make sure I have all my things on that I need to have. Here we go. This guy never got an attack off last time. First attack. That is going to be a 39 to hit. My AC is 39.

Oh, wow. Okay. Well, the good news, bad news is it's going to be pretty hard to hit again. It wasn't a... I can roll higher than what I rolled. Yeah, but aren't your Iter attacks going to go down? Yep, they all go down.

Okay. All right. Well, this is going to be some good damage out the gate for me. That first shot zeroed in. Swoosh. Swoosh. 32 points of regular damage And then

7 points of sneak attack damage That's like being hit by a long spear Yeah Don't forget you're flat footed That doesn't matter for sure Okay Why is he flat footed? It hasn't gone yet

Combat began Oh wait he acted He did total defense Yeah yeah yeah I acted Yeah but we weren't in initiative yet That doesn't matter for Sir Will. Okay. Why is he flat-footed? It hasn't gone yet. Combat began. Oh, wait. He acted. He did total defense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I acted. Yeah, but we weren't in initiative yet. Do you know what I mean?

It doesn't matter. That's a surprise round. Basically, what you do if you make me flat-footed is you completely take away total defense. I can't do total defense. I see. Okay. You said we had an action. So it was more of a flavor.

In my mind, it was a flavor surprise round. It was an actual surprise round. That's fine. Can you do total defense when you're flat-footed? No. Okay. Can you do total defense in a surprise round? Yeah, it's a standard action.

It's a standard action. Okay, that's fine. Great. Second attack. Miss. 25. Third attack. Okay.

Pretty good roll. But. Come attack. Okay. Pretty good roll. But. Come on, Sewell! 34. He's got the shield off. Clang! Wow. Almost knocks him off the saddle, but he stays on, leans back up.

Misses with the final attack. However. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. The rock comes in and goes to bite you as it turns. So now. Don't hit this one. The rock comes in and goes to bite you as it turns. So now... Don't hit this one. This would be quite bad. But now I know it's going to be hard to hit.

Okay. Here we go. It comes in, not a bite. We'll say it's the talon. The talon is going to try and scrape at you. 33. Yeah! Oh, I love it absolutely enormous

so it comes swooping down and it's a fly by attack so it then turns but where you're doing total defense you don't get your attack of opportunity so it turns and then it's able to move a little bit away. So now it's like hovering over the area

where the platform is in the nests. So it swooped in, attacked, and then flew back after it turned. Okay. Baron, you're still holding your action? Yeah, I kind of want to see what Metra has up her sleeve or pant leg or wherever she keeps all her best juicy stuff well don't know my pockets it is metra's turn i mean i can't not since the rock enjoyed the maze

so much last time can we free action perception check on this before metra cast to see if anything has changed about the appearance sure I'll do the same. So will I. Natural two for a 26. Or no, more than that. But I don't know. 26. 26, okay.

Metro, any higher than that? No. 38 for Nestor. 38. All right. So Nestor squints his eyes and tries to look in. Everything looks the same with the rock. Gotcha. Yeah.

I'm going to use the quick and meta. So first things first, I'm going to step up. And then I'm going to use the quick and meta magic rod to cast detect magic. Oh. Okay, what is your range on that? 60 feet. And what is the first round of detect magic?

Presence or absence of magical auras. Yep. Does this give me the number? No. Then I won't do that. Yeah, because keep in mind, like, if he's wearing magical armor, he'll detect that. Okay. Okay, good.

I'm going to step up and I'm going to cast. It's such a game of poker. It really is. And I'm going to cast maze on Nal a game of poker. It really is. And I'm going to cast Maze on Nalbor. Maze on Nalbor. Okay, you go to cast Maze on Nalbor, and nothing happens. He cast Dimensional Anchor on himself? Do you have any other actions? You want to move at all? Oh, wait, did you move?

I moved, I cast Maze, and now I'm going to use a quick meta magic rod to cast do we know uh what cloud giants uh dark vision situation was from the various i don't think they have it um i they don't because if i'm not mistaken our first moment in the castle, you... Oh, no, you made Dogreth invisible. It wasn't darkness. Yeah. We've rolled knowledge checks on Cloud Giants before. Specifically to answer this question, Matthew just can't remember.

Yes, but here's the question. When did you move? After you cast Maze? No. Before you cast Maze? I moved within range of the Maze. Okay. Oh, you moved within range of the Maze. I moved within 65 feet, I believe range of the maze. Okay. Oh, you moved within range of the maze. I moved

within 65 feet, I believe. I got you. Okay. You want to know if they have dark vision? Yeah. I'm assuming we've done a knowledge check on this before. Yeah, you can roll it over from before. It's your memory that they have low light vision. Low light. Alright.

One of the more underrated G.I. Joe characters. Low light? Low light. Alright. Well, instead, I'm just One of the more underrated G.I. Joe characters. Lowlight? Lowlight. All right. Well, instead, I'm just going to cast Haste on all of us. Haste on all of you. Okay.

Oh, I didn't need to move that far. I'm assuming he's not more than like 20 feet up in the air since it came swept down again. Mm-hmm. So, well, okay. I'll stay behind Nestor. Okay. And now it's my turn. Okay. Just waiting for the roaming buffalo Find a sit

The majestic buffalo It's grazing Over there in the corner Look kids Get out your cameras It's a dangerous case. It's a kite buffalo. What did you need in the closet?

Your winter coat? Why were you going for this 85 degree room? I remember we never put any water in. Oh, he's putting water in. Oh, this is the perfect time. I mean, what the fuck? Hold on. The water cooler? He's putting water into the water cooler.

You're not going to hear a thing? You know, we haven't cleaned the toilets in a while, too. Why don't you give us a quick scrub? I'll let you know. I'll holler when your turn comes. Yeah, we can do it. Hey, Joe, do you see that huge pile of metal pipes in the corner? Could you put those on the sidewalk?

Oh, God. Oh, my God. I was going to cut this out, but everyone has to know. Talk it to Matthew about his turn. I figure he's going to Matthew. He's just walking around looking at us like we're a strange species he's never seen before. To be clear, he went to the restroom and made her face with the toilet such a way that it created a loud, audible clank that we all heard. Then wandered over to the closet, pulled out a water jug, and changed out our water cooler.

We did need new water. Thank you, Joe. Now we can get some cold water. Not you, Matthew, and not you, Troy. Am I cool? Yeah, you're cool. All right, thank you. Though I didn't appreciate the metal tubes down to the street comment.

It was funny. All right, that's it. Are you done your turn? I'm done. Okay. I don't think I'm flying anymore. I'm just going to take this symbol off myself. I'm just going to get these 12 eight-foot metal pipes down to recycling.

Even me? Between turns. I'm total defense. I'll be back in a minute. Grant, you were over there getting watered. Do you want to take your turn? No, Grant. He's working on those

metal pipes since we took down the set. Grant, are you still holding your action? I'm reporting from New Shepard 5 right now. I just thought I'd do a traffic report real quick while we were recording this episode because apparently anything is more important than the episode

Do you want to take your action now that Metro's done or do you want to continue? How far away is he from me at this moment? Because I don't want to do Pythagoras for everything, just like aim it and then add a few so it's 55 feet away Is there like a quick shorthand for Pythagoras?

Is there like a... A squared plus B squared equals C squared? That's not true. Quicker than that. Quicker than that. Yeah. I'm just eyeballing it. Is there a new math cheaty way to get to a quick and 30 number?

If you know the angles. All right. Is it 30, 60, 90 triangles? He's starting to ask. He's starting to ask. All right. Every solution you've offered is more complicated. Let's talk about Elden Ring some more.

I passed my hover check or ride check or whatever I need to to stay in place. Either way it works, depending on what you want me to roll. Okay. And I'm going to fire at a minus two for the first bunch of shots. I will tell you when I spend grit to resolve against regular AC. I will do so as my iterative attacks go down in power. Got you. Good thinking.

Here comes the first attack. These are all at the big, beautiful giant on the back of the rock. Here comes the first attack. That is going to be a 30 against regular AC. Well, this is why I was asking so much about where Metra was moving. It's because right when you fire that, that bullet bounces off an invisible wall of force that cuts off the entry into this room. Oh, whoa. So at some point after Sir Will entered, a wall of force has blocked Nestor, Metra, and Baron from Sir Will, leaving him alone with Nalbur and the rock.

Solid as a rock. If you listen back to last week's episode, I think I was even prodding. So no one else goes with him, right? Just checking. Nobody else. Baron's hand reaches out to the wall of force and goes, No! Will! What is it, Sheriff? There's a wall of force in between.

We're gonna get you, Will, but you're gonna have to survive on your own for a while. He can't even hear us, probably. You just see them banging, so does he have the haste? Breath weapons, well, it says breath weapons and spells cannot pass through a wall of force

In either direction Although dimension door tells So no spells can pass through The maze wouldn't have even gotten off That is correct Interesting I've given you a ton of information Because I didn't read the rest of the text

But that's on me Because I was like oh breath weapons and spells I read that the wrong way. I guess it doesn't matter, but I think we probably would have known about the wall of force during Metra's turn, but that's fine. I'll just take that. That's very cool. That the bullet bounces off.

Do you know what the spell component is for wall of force? What? Force. Powdered quartz. Oh, okay. Oh, because it's minerally, but kind of see-through. I like that as a... It's fun, right? Force. Powdered quartz. Oh, okay. Oh, because it's minerally, but kind of see-through. I like that as a... It's fun, right? Yeah.

Metro, I need your help. I don't have a means to get rid of this. And I assume as I fire the bullet, like, a little ripple goes ceiling to floor. Like, I can't fly over this thing or anything. It covers the whole entry. Oh, I've got a plan. Joe's got the right foot tapping there, I think, even though

he is basically unhittable. I think I see a little fear in his eyes. No, that's just him thinking about the pipes he needs to clean. The next medial task he needs to complete before his turn comes up. So, Baron, you

fired off one shot. Yeah, that's my turn. Okay. Well, now, you fired off one shot. Yeah, that's my turn. Okay. Well, now it goes to Sir Will. Sir Willamette Keswick of House Highbury, formerly of House Highbury. What do you do? I've got so much shit going through my head right now, including how much I don't want to die. And so I... going through my head right now uh including how much i don't want to die uh and so um i remember that email i sent you last week you have a plan if sir will dies you laughed it off i didn't

laugh it off i knew exactly why i was like i'm alone on this thing and whatever this thing's coming down is going to do is going to be put me at risk of death. And if you'll recall, my answer was, that's all up to you, Troy. It is literally, you said, no one can get in here, and no one's here. I just didn't know if you had a random creative idea that you were milling on. Well, that's what I'm saying. You have to say, either we can bring someone in somehow,

and then I'll come up with something, or someone can be here in the castle somehow, and then I'll come up with something or someone can be here in the castle somehow and then I'll come up with something. What if the Storm Tyrant has scheduled the Sparklets delivery guy to drop off the water cooler tanks at just that time? Oh, that's perfect. He's a barbarian delivery man.

A 17th level barbarian. Yeah. I'm drinking water! I've got those days up. I don't use my rage anymore. Entered a 12-step program for my age. Yeah, this is just, this is bad business. Okay, I'm going to now need a much more in-depth and correct explanation of this entire area.

Okay. Mainly starting with what's above me. All right. So what's above you is half of the room. So if you bisect the room at an angle, and I'll throw that angle on there just so you can see. So like parallel to the wall of force? Yeah, parallel to the wall of force. In the middle of the room.

Can you see that line I just threw up? Yeah, so I'm under. I have the seats at the field where you don't get rained on, but you can see it's out. You're under the overhang. You're under the overhang. You're glad you bought the cheaper tickets because now you're safe from this rain delay. But yeah, but there's still, you know, 60 feet or so to the ceiling above you, but there is a ceiling above you. Got it.

And then the poles are extending, I believe, right near the middle of the nests, we'll say. Can Lexington climb up a pole? You magical wolf! Pole dancing wolf? Pole dancing wolf. Awesome sugar on me!

Awesome sugar on Steve! I think, I am not going to panic. I think that Metro is just going to take care of it and everything's going to be fine in one round. So rather than go completely nuts, I think what I'm going to do, though, is prepare for the worst. So I am going to cast Iron Skin on myself just to buff my AC. Iron Skin on myself just to buff my AC. Total Defense would be better, but I'm not moving in a positive direction.

With Iron Skin, at least maybe next run I can start moving and still have a good AC bonus. So yeah, I will cast Iron Skin. Okay. And are you going to move at all? Yes. I'm going to move... I guess everything is difficult terrain? No, just where the nests are. So I'll go around the nests. Okay. going to move... I guess, like, everything's difficult terrain, or how does this work?

No, just where the nests are. So, I'll go around the nests. Okay. And I'll go to the south and put myself right up against the wall around the side of the nest, almost near the edge of the overhang. Oh, man, this is

tense. And I'm moving away from the forest door. Right. Away from the force door. I mean, if anyone, if anyone else, like Nestor is usually the one to go up and inspect. Game over for Nestor. Oh, it's so great that it's their will. It's phenomenal. It's shocking

because you never do this. That's not true. I mean, I walked through and triggered that trap with the moon door room. That is true. But I just, as walked through and triggered that trap with the moon door room, whatever that was. That is true. But I just, as I was prepping this and thinking, like, oh, I figured they'll all move forward. And maybe a couple of them move forward. But if only one moves forward, it's the Slayer. Yeah.

So this may have worked out in your favor. Let's see. Still a while till we get back to Metra's turn. Sorry. And I'm going to swift action heal myself with Leonhands. Okay. In the meantime, it is now Nestor's turn to finish out the round. Nestor is going to hold.

So I have to do a hover check, right? That's right. Did you take off? Yeah, I'm up in the air. I wrote Nestor flew up on my notes here. Oh, yeah. We can see them. I was editing the episode.

I'm like, you know, I'm going to write these notes on the board. I made it. So, yeah, he's just like waiting and he's just waiting, waiting for an opening, love. Symmetra. All right.

Let's take it to the top of round two. The round that I like to say everything is about to change. If we didn't ad break, I'd do it right now! That's how thrilling it is. It needs an in-app cliffy. It needs an in-app cliffy. It surely does.

So Nubber atop the rock is going to do the same exact thing to you, Sir Will. Now you're no longer flat-footed, so there won't be any sneak attack damage. However... Oh, that's why there was sneak attack damage?

So there shouldn't have been sneak attack damage. There was only seven points. Yeah, give yourself seven back. I forgot about that. I was all excited to use it. However, your AC isn't as high this time around, so I don't have to beat 39. Let's see if a couple of these hit and if the rock hits and the game changes forever.

Does the rock know the people's elbow? You know what that is? I was saving that for round three. No, you've never seen. He pulls off his elbow pad. He pulls off his I heart the maze shirt. Throws it into the crowd. Drops the wing.

All right, here we go. First attack with this sweet, sweet bow is a real garbage 34. Yes. 34, no good. No good. Even with total defense. Okay. Bad, bad start.

You want to hit one of those first ones. Nestor knows that more than anybody. All right. Second attack. Miss with All right. Second attack. Miss with a 24. Third attack. Okay. Good roll, but bad.

Yeah. I mean, great roll, but that's another 34. Yes! Yes! I love it. And then misses on the fourth attack. And the funny thing is that Skid and I like to take as much realism with this as possible, literally looking at the numbers of like, if it's over your touch

AC, you know, but under your full AC, then it's hitting you. It's hitting your armor. So all of these things are hitting him, but it's just like hitting his magical shield that he got from his mother. It's just like balled up. Clang! Clang! Yeah, it's just pushing them aside with the shield.

Deflecting. And sparks fly off. Yeah, yeah. And now the rock goes to try and get you with the talon. This is the one that I want to hit. This is the one that if I hit. Oh, baby. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

All those rolls were bad except that third roll. Yes! Thirty... Oh, wait, no. Okay. With power attack off this time. Did you make that decision just after the die roll?

I saw it last time and forgot to take it off. I was like, alright, well, I gotta take that off if I'm not gonna hit with the plus blah, blah, blah. Instead of the plus blah, blah, blah. So now it's going to be a 37 to hit. Miss. You're easy only to get down by one? Yes.

But I have a question. Okay. It's fine. It's a miss. It's 100% a miss. But I have a question. What do you think the rules are on defending weapons? The Highbury Lance is a defending lance.

And it allows me, as a free action, to choose how to allocate the weapons enhancement bonus as a free action. At the start of his turn. Quote, before using the weapon. Does that mean that you have to use the weapon to benefit from a defense? Or can you allocate it to your AC, remove the enhancement bonus, even if you cast a spell that round, for example? It's to prevent you from getting an unnecessary bonus to your attack, I would imagine, right? Right. Yeah. So I think you can, just before you use it, you allocate it.

So every round I could have plus two. It's a plus two. So every round I could have plus two AC and a minus two to my weapon to hit and damage, even if I don't use the weapon? Yes. That's what I would think. I've been looking at stuff here, and even Owen K.C. Stevens gave his two cents, which... K.C. chimed in?

But all Paizo people will say, don't take my word as wrote. Some people disagree. Some people agree. Here's what I'll say. I'll say you can get that bonus even if you don't use to attack. However, I'm not going to let you use it now because you didn't declare it. And you have to declare it as a free action. And the reason for that being, even if you tell me you always want to use it,

it's like you could game the system a little bit and all of a sudden, had you not declared it, decide to get that bonus to an AOO. So I'm going to say you don't have it now. I don't think it affects the hit, right? No, it doesn't, yeah. I didn't have it on there for that 37. It's still a miss.

If you want to use it, you just got to declare it as a free action. All right. I'm also going to switch my lance. Well, I mean, the reason I think you want it declared, I would say that I would just, I'll declare now it's always on unless I declare it's off on attacks. Okay. But anyway. Well, then just remember that, though, every time you take an attack or an AOA.

You put it on Hero Lab and it removes it from your attack numbers. that though every time you take an attack or an aoe put it on hero lab and it removes it okay attack numbers but anyway um i i uh do i get an attack or does fly by attack negate my ability to get an aoo on no fly by attack does not negate your ability all right then i will attack with the bonus because i don't have it on the defending part uh Okay, so here we go. It's just a quick stab with the lance. And who are you attacking? The rock, the bird. I'm just trying to play it. Sure.

It tries to bite me, and I try to stab it in the eye. That is a 37 to hit as well. 37 to hit the rock is a hit. Nice. And that is nine points of damage. Nice. And that is nine points of damage. Nice. Now, the force wall

prevented that haste for me. Is that correct? Yes. The haste does not get through there. So no, you don't get another A-O-O. Is that your next question? No, I just wanted to see if my A-C was even higher! I can't believe that you still, without total defense, only went down one point in the AC.

Yeah, iron skin at high levels is super, super good. And I rolled a 37! That's without power attack, a 37. He's a tiny little colossus. Yes, exactly. Boshamoy! I want to throw him so bad i love colossus he's the best he's the best okay at that moment oh boy from the end of the hall oh you see uh way way down

the end from the hall where baron nestor andra are. You see that woman appear. No. Oh. That dang woman? And she says, I'm here for you, brother. And she just throws something down the hall at Metra, Nestor, and Baron. I'm going to need a will save from all of you as you are covered in glitter dust.

Oh, no. Blinding people? Blinding and also preventing you from going invisible. Baron, you got a good fist pump. I rolled a grant on there. That means a natural 20. Oh, a natural 20 on the glit. Skid?

19. 19? a natural 20. Oh, a natural 20 on the Glit. Skid? 19. 19? 23. None of you are blind, but you are all covered in Glitter. But we look fabulous. Never look better. You know how we get true revenge against the Storm Tyrant? Sit on all of his couches as we're covering.

That's a great idea. Thank you. Sit on everything. I'm not sitting so it was imaginable. Go into his closet where all of his clothes are and just run through

all of his clothes. She appears about 80 feet away from Metra. Nestor and Baron, when you look at her, she just seems to be again kind of blinking in and out of existence.

I hate that. You see her just fine. Or you can see things on the ethereal plant. I'm here, brother! And yes, I rolled a percentage die to make sure that spell even gets off. Because when you cast blink, there's a 20% chance that you cast that spell on the ethereal plant. So every spell that I cast, I have to roll a 20%. I didn't know that.

That's really cool. That's cool. Blink is like cool But also for a spellcaster it could backfire You'd rather have Blink cast on you If you're a melee fighter Okay, so another enemy has Entered the fray And it is Mestra's turn

Mestra, is your plan the same As it was mere seconds ago? It's not, Troy I'm reconsidering my plan I was going to just destroy the wall of force Is your plan the same as it was mere seconds ago? It's not, Troy. I'm reconsidering my plan. Sure, sure. I was going to just destroy the wall of force. But now I'm wondering if I make you pay for the wall of force.

Yes, that option B, and I know what it is. Yes, well, I mean, while Sir Will is defending himself against this rock and this cloud giant, you do have the opportunity to turn your attention elsewhere. However, the second one of those talons or arrows starts to hit Things could get quite bad for your paladin Sir Will, it's literally between a rock and a hard place right now It literally is! His back is right against the wall! Oh my god What are you thinking?

I think I'm going to make you pay for that wall of force. You know, it wouldn't be the first time someone has made me pay for doing something. You've divided the battle. Sir Will's AC is fabulous. And even before the glitter gets to him, because the glitter never got there. So I'm just going to do a little chain lightning on our friend, the witch. The witch and her beautiful blue bird companion.

And I'll get them both. Okay, great. So that is going to be a reflex save. Okay, she was hitting her reflexes early, but I'm not in love with my rolls today. Not really in love with that one either. That is a 17. Oh, that's a fail. Oh, yes! Huge. That is not 17. Oh, that's a fail. Oh, yes.

Huge. That is not good. And then the familiar rolled an 18. That's also a fail. Oh, beautiful. All right, not great rolls on my 16d6. They both take 49 points of electricity damage. Pretty good.

Oh, oh. Pretty good. Oh, chain lightning. Chain lightning. 49 points of electricity damage And then do I want to stay where I am? Yeah, I'll stay where I am Man, this

Is a juicy Encounter I know, it's kind of like It feels like everything's on the table For all the marbles encounter against the twins, Nalbia and Nalbur. You know what, I'm glad for them that they got to die together.

Yes, but will one of you fall in the meantime? Could happen. Let's find out. It is Baron's turn. I'm actually going to go. Oh, Nestor actually going to go. Oh, Nestor's going to go. Oh, yeah, he is.

Okay, so Nestor is going to be glittered, turn his attentions towards the witch. And he says, I doubt they got forgotten you, my love. And he's going to unleash a full attack. First multi-shot is a 40 to hit. 40 to hit. Now roll the 50% miss chance. 001. Oh, beautiful.

No, you hit Baron. Oh. 001. Those come up a lot on the show. Yeah. And other shows. Especially when you play with your O'Brien. True.

Aura of one. Alright, so the multi-shot misses. Second attack. Damn. I'm sorry, that's not a hundred? 001? No. 000. Oh. Oh, wait. No, no, no. I'm sorry. No, 81. Sorry, I read it wrong. Oh. I thought it was 00.

It's 80. It's 81. Oh, 81. Amazing. Amazing. That is a palpable hit. Oh, Jesus. With your best attack. Yes. So it's 55 points of damage. Okay.

And I would just like to point out that this fuselage is covered in glitter as well. What? True. The arrows that hit you? Yeah, the arrows are... Well, the arrows were in my thing, so maybe not. Okay. Okay.

Second attack. Ooh! That is a 45 to hit. Okay, 50% miss, Coe. Miss, 46. Okay, thank jeepers. All right, third attack. Thank jeepers.

Third attack is a 37 to hit. Come on. Nope. 22. God damn it. This is the tale of two turns here. Last time you lit her up. Yep.

Fourth attack is a 33 to hit. Okay. Missed chance. Fuck. Fuck. Fifth attack is a 30.

And now the mischance. Oh, come on. Okay, 65. Okay. 28 points of damage. All right, Nestor. Jesus. Yes! Final attack. This will not hit. Well, let's see.

27. That's a miss. Okay. Okay. Awful. Still. Terrible. Fine.

Terrible. Serviceable. Huge round here. Interesting to see what direction you go, Baron, because you are 80 feet away. Which keeps me within my second range increment. So Baron will swift action pull down Torag's Justice all over him. He's covered in Torag's Justice.

He does a flash dance. He does a flash dance in a chair. It just like dubstep drops. So let me just make sure I get on the appropriate bonuses. Destruction. What a feeling. What a feeling.

Okay. Tell me what you want. Baron's ready to drop the zig-a-zig. Same plan. He's going to only apply grit on later iterative attacks that will not have a good chance of resolving against regular AC. So here comes

the first attack at a minus two and against regular AC. Come on, baby. Come on. 22 to hit against regular AC? No, that's a miss. Miss. Second attack. 25 against regular AC? No, that's a miss. Miss. Second attack. 25 against regular AC. Miss.

I think her AC is 30. 36 against regular... 34 against regular AC. And the concealment is... 005. So, it's a miss. We're spending grit now in the final two attacks.

Critical threat. Do you want the confirm first, or do you want the concealment first? Let's do the confirm. It might not be the confirm. Oh, it should. It's a touch. I use grit against this one.

Natural 20 on the confirm. Oh, whoa. Okay. She's not running away this time. Her head is exploding. What is the total to hit? With the... I believe it's 33.

33 with the natural 20? Uh-huh. Okay. Roll to the mischance. 60. 60. Yes! Okay.

That is a confirmed. Yes! Oh, wow. That's pretty big. Oh, man. That's pretty big. That's the thing. It's like last time, Nestor did so much damage to her, and she just got away because it was

just not enough. Yeah. It was one attack shy, I think. Yeah. And this crit, this crit's going to do it. I mean, she's done. Should do it. She's done.

Well, she's healed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But she still is embarrassed about the outcome Of the last battle and you never know what that'll do I'm embarrassed Her face is going to be so red

Yeah It is the bits of it that still exist She already ran away Okay this one is Connor from Cambridge Ontario Well we'll see That would have killed a lesser individual Is the title Connor from Cambridge, Ontario. Oh. Well, we'll see. That would have killed a lesser individual is the title.

What does that mean? With a stroke of good luck, you unleash a shot that would kill most targets. However, the target has some luck of their own. I like it already. The crit deals triple damage. Don't like that. Fortitude save for double damage. If the target is a named

character, they get a plus five bonus to the save. Oh! That's cool. Okay. So this might be double damage times four, right? Or if you fail it, it'll be times five. I think I'm gonna get it, but what am I trying to beat? 32? No, 33. 33?

Oh, it's not a gimme, but I get a plus five. Alright. Fortitude save plus five because she's named. This is a cool one. That's a good... Made it 37. Wow! She's got a crazy high fortitude. All right, so it's only quadruple damage.

Only quadruple damage. And then you still have one more attack, Baron? I do. Nice job, Connor. Thanks, Connor. Nice job, Hoser. God, this is like... I'm thinking... I have to, to at this point think not only of this

combat, but of all the remaining combats in the game, and like, I have certain plans in place, and this just changes things Could change things Baron, with one of the most well-placed bullets of all time, deals 113 points

Okay She is still up. She's actually still up. You've got to get her on this last one. You just have to crit again and confirm it and get concealment. I am spending another point of grit. That is going to be against Touch AC. A 25. 25 against Touch AC. A 25. 25 against Touch AC.

The suspense is killing me. Troy's face is one inch from his iPad. Do you need new glasses, old man? Yeah, it looks like my grandfather. There's no answers there In your precious iPad Your iPad can't get you out of this one LaValle This is where I want to say really mean things

Like come on you Mr. Magoo looking motherfucker Tell me if I hate you or not Oh she's done I'm just making absolute sure here As you would for your beautiful PCs 25 total huh? making absolute sure here as you would for your beautiful PCs. 25 total, huh? Roll a 50% miss chance.

Come on, B. I'm so nervous. I'm scared. You're due. You're due to get this. 16. Oh, no! No! Come on! No! 16 oh no no Troy gets his narrative

oh my god my balls drop into my knees oh god wow wow I hate her I hate her so much double check make sure it's not 76 it's just happening it could happen to anyone Wow. Wow. I hate her. I hate her so much. Double check.

Make sure it's not 76. It just happened. It's happening to Skid. It could happen to anyone. It's like right at, you see the 10 and the 70 are next to each other, and I looked over, and I can't. I said 16. I think it was 16 in the moment.

We got to go with it. Wow. It now goes on to Sir Will's turn. He really is alone He's all alone He's all alone But he fears no evil All alone with his 38 AC

Especially not, yeah Makes me sick It's already proven this guy can't hit him So I think he might get a little bolder here Uh It's a joke this guy can't hit him, so I think he might get a little bolder here. That's a joke, man. Just poking the bear. Yeah, go ahead. You're poking the bear.

You're poking God. Poking God himself. All right. Well, now he turns and he sees that all of his allies have turned away. They're obviously facing some other threat. Literally turned our backs on you. They literally turned their backs on me. I'm literally between a rock and a hard place.

I'm going to quote Joe O'Brien. There's no such thing as facing a path finder. Yes, that is true. They're constantly spinning. We're in a quantum state, like constantly, with their glitter dust. But he looks over and he knows that he's truly now alone he locks eyes with this

guy and not removing his eyes from this giant he says Lexington under his breath the nest get in there and hide yourself and he dismounts

Lexington whoa dramatic dismounts Lexington. Dramatic dismount double D. Joe with a double D. He stands out in front of Lexington. Again, not removing his eyes from this dude. Just says, I on the day has

marked you villain, and your time has come. And he's going to smite evil. Oh, no! Okay. On the dude, on the snood. Love snood. Great game.

Love snood. I miss snood. And you see this kind of pain come into his eyes as he looks at him, knowing that this could be his last foray to fighting these enemies that are trying to destroy everything that's good in the world. Everything he stands for. Everything he stands for.

Destroyed his house. Mm-hmm. Highbury has fallen. Yep. And now he feels that anger that he felt then, that anger and that sadness that adriel was trying to just bring him out of and remind him that he needs to focus those energies on fighting his enemies and and being a help instead of just sulking about it so uh so he smites evil on this

dude then he stares him down and he's just like i have returned from the ashes. I have come for vengeance. And his voice, like, starts to get louder. He's like, I've come for your blood. He screams up at this guy, at the dude. He's just like, I've come for Highbury. And he just goes, Eat me, sir. And then...

He casts righteous might And grows into a full size Sir Will from Ostrov's armor Which he's still wearing From all the way Back when And he just points the lance Into the sky

At this dude And that's his full round Oh my god his AC is lowered now? No, the Smite Evil now goes up. It went down and then back up again. Okay, okay. I was like, where is he going with this? Way to bring it out for these final few deaths.

Oh, Shades of Galabras. We see a flashback to Gel doing that for the first time. But now you're superimposed over that memory. So now Lexington, if you want to bring out another pawn, is just behind him, and he's telling him after he gets out of his way to scuttle into the nests and just try to hide. Perfect. I will add a wolf pawn. Let me find the one that's covered in blood.

You want to be able to control. Well, you said it's right behind you, right? Like right there? Right where I was. Yeah, right behind me in that small space okay we were just kind of squeezed in there but you know we're tiny perfect let's go to the top of the next round same thing i'm not changing my tactics however i want to see if i have any anything on that's making it harder for me to hit no No, I've had... I mean, power attack doesn't affect the bow

anyways. Just want to see if there's anything I can do that could F you up. You know what? I'm just gonna let let the gods decide. Same thing. First attack. This is the one that I need to hit.

Miss with a natural 20. Yes! Just throws it aside. Not even removing eye contact. Second attack. 31. Miss. Nice. Switch to eye. Third attack. Again, I always roll so well

on third attack, but the bonus isn't high enough. That's a 32. Need that natural 20. No, miss. Nat 20 times three crit. Miss. Natural. Three. I don't know why I look like, is that a nine? That would matter!

Another rock. I like that you're angry at your own internal monologue right now. I have a really good chance to hit with this. I just have rolled absolute dog shit. I'll lift the veil. It's a plus 25 to hit with this talent. Wow.

So I need like a... I just need a good roll. Hold on, plus 25 to hit. Okay, all right. I'm just making sure everything is squared away here because I don't get the bonus Against the rock The smite evil bonus

So I'm just double checking everything Unless the rock is evil? No, because you can only smite one target Oh, I see And are you, is your pawn supposed to be larger than Medium size? No, he's just medium He went from small to medium

Oh, there we go. I didn't realize halflings were technically small. So what are you thinking there, Joe? I am thinking that you are good to go. Good to make your attack. Plus 25. I like sometimes telling you.

That's one that's hard for you to use against me. Also, Chris, 19 to 20. God, there's so much going on here. All right. Yeah, you're good. All right. It's got to be a good roll. Middling roll is not going to do it here. Although I don't know what your AC is against this thing. Don't tell me. Okay. Here we go. Come on.

All right. I see double digits. I see high ish double digits. Could be higher. It's going to hit. Could be higher. But that is going to be a, be higher. It's going to hit. Could be higher. Yeah. But that is going to be a, well, 39. That is a hit. Okay.

A couple things are going to happen. The first thing is the damage. For 17 points of damage. Okay. He now has DR. Okay. Because of the Righteous Point. Oh, right.

Yeah. And now the Righteous One. Oh, right. Yeah. And now the attempt to grab you. How about the power to move you? There's just no way I missed. Nice. No, I said there's no way I missed. Oh, there's no way, comma. I missed.

There's just no way. I missed. 50 against your CM. Oh, yeah. Shit, there's no way, comma. I missed. There's just no way. I missed. 50 against your CMA. Oh, yeah. Shit, he's grabbed. Oh, fuck. Boy. Okay.

So here's what happens. I want to make sure I get this down just right. Damn. But the long and short of it is It starts swooping towards you And he's atop its back Just flying arrows at you And he's just Blocking, blocking, blocking

And they've done this now Three flyby attacks Just come down, tries to talon you This one hits It grabs you And then it continues flying with you. And it starts to wind up to throw you into the open air. And as it does, it goes back to Nalbia, who's sitting there covered in arrows,

just littered with Nestor's arrows, bullet holes leaking with blood. And she's like, dear brother, though we came into this world together, it appears we will not leave it together. If only you had defeated the mighty storm tyrant the first time you

faced each other. This could have been our castle, our world. I loved you more than I ever could a husband. But now my heart and soul belong to Folstice. And she disappears. Oh, she got away again, even with a four-time crit. I hate her.

And we'll see you next week. I hate her! I hate her! Hate her! Now being a Targaryen. Oh, God. I'm her. And we'll see you next week. I hate her! I hate her! I hate her! Now being a Targaryen. Oh, God. I'm sweating! I'm sweating!

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