The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 319 - Free Will? Roc You?

Episode Date: March 15, 2022

With Sir Will trapped within the jaws of the roc, his allies must act quickly to save him as well as themselves. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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It's made with pH- ph balancing minerals and crafted with skin conditioning oils so whether you're going for a run or just running late do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't find secret at your nearest walmart or shoppers drug mart today you are listening to the glass cannon network the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. Nalbur fires off a litany of shots against you. As an aerial assault waylaid the heroes. I'm going to cast Maze on Nalbor.

You go to cast Maze on Nalbor and nothing happens. Old plans crumbled against the enemy's new tactics. Right when you fire that, that bullet bounces off an invisible wall of force that cuts off the entry into this room. And as another foe returned. At that moment. Oh boy. No. Oh! The paladin would have to stand tall alone.

It grabs you, and then it continues flying with you, and it starts to wind up to throw you into the open air the adventure continues my heart and soul belong to false deaths and she disappears now what's up nage it's your old buddy troyalle. I just want to talk real quick about our next two Glass Cannon Livestops. We're coming to Milwaukee and St. Paul in the same week. We're going to be at Turner Hall Ballroom in Milwaukee on Thursday, April 14th. And then we're going to be at Amsterdam Bar and Hall in St. Paul on Saturday, April 16th. Paul on Saturday, April 16th. These are huge, huge shows, especially for where we are in the Strange Aeons Adventure Path, nearing the end of book two. If you saw the Boston show and you know the story, you're going to want to be in Milwaukee and you're going to want to be in St. Paul. And

hell, St. Paul, we've sold over 200 tickets, VIP sold out, but Milwaukee, what's going on? We've sold like 80 tickets and there's still VIP tickets left. So please come on out. All my Chicago people, I don't think we're going to be coming to Chicago this year. So can you drive 90 minutes up and support the nation? It will be well worth it if you make the trip. There are general admission tickets. There are standing room only tickets available for both shows. But there are only VIGCP packages available for Milwaukee, and you need to buy those on our

website, glasscannonnetwork.com slash tour. But just be sure if you get the VIGCP package to get a general admission or standing room ticket as well. The package doesn't get you into the venue. It just gets you all the added things like early access to the merch and the party afterwards and the talkback. So please come on out. Glasscannonetwork.com slash tour is where you find the VIGCV package for Milwaukee and links to the tickets to both those shows. We're having a hell of a good time with Strange Aeons, and we hope that you will join us for more Glass Cannon Live. us for more glass cannon live video kill the radio star welcome back cats and kittens to the glass cannon podcast this is episode 300 we hope it's nice where you are it's nice here in the studio today and it's warm and fuzzy in my pants.

I want to talk about what everyone's morning routine is. Do you guys have a morning routine? And is it pretty much always the same? I'm sure Matthew, yours has changed considerably over the past few months than it was before. So we'll talk about your pre and your post. You guys have some morning routines that are your go-tos? You always do X, Y, and Z in a certain order? Yeah. Talk to me about this.

You roll out of bed around 11.30. Pop open a Diet Coke. So happy. Smile on his face. No, I normally get up at like 7.30 or 8. And then I'll Drink a Soylent That's your go to right that you don't make eggs Or something

No I hate eggs I've never liked Breakfast foods So I just yeah I don't I'll just drink a Soylent Which I like I like the Soylent And then I just Zone out For 3-4 hours Now that zoning out is that The TV's on And then I just zone out for three, four hours.

Now that zoning out, is that the TV's on? Yeah, I'll watch YouTube. I'll watch our friend Seth Skorkowski. I'll watch some various stuff. Maybe Sidney will pop up in my algorithm. That happens sometimes. Oh, right. So it's YouTube you're watching.

Yeah, I'll watch YouTube. Morning is for YouTubes.'ll watch like news and stuff and then as the day passes on like maybe i'll watch a movie or something see i'm so glad i asked this because i had no idea like what your morning is like what anyone's morning's like so youtube is that very common you think a lot of people wake up and i know my dad does yeah much to my chagrin because i was down there some of the stuff that he watches like oh please turn this off but it was very very hard for me but but no i think i think it is pretty common i think a lot of people it's just it's like short attention span it's just like you can jump around and like

see a bunch of different stuff and you don't have to pay like close attention to most of it you watch it right on your computer or you go to your tv no i have my on my tv usually um grant what's uh what's typical grant tech every morning i set an alarm for at least an hour before i actually need to wake up and then bother my wife by snoozing it at least six times that's bad for you right wasn't it called the the brown study um that the snooze is it makes you poop yourself it knows yeah i think it was the brown stay i the snooze is... It makes you poop yourself? No, that's the brown note. I think it was the brown study. I might be making this up. They both do, Joe.

You're right. If you wake up covered in poop. I can confirm all of the above. For some reason, I have in my head the brown study. It's like when you do that, you're setting yourself up

for not wanting the day and so that you're like mentally setting yourself up to prolonging something that's inevitable, which is the day. What if I don't want the day? I'm not saying I don't get it. I think the Brown study might be armchair psychoanalyzing me more than it's qualified to do so, though I've yet to read it.

So I'll reserve my judgment unlike the brown study um i will then get up and i will uh head upstairs where i will turn on my kettle to between 93 and 100 degrees celsius as i select the appropriate roast of beans for the day i measure out 18 to 20 grams for my espresso portafilter i select the perfect grind i then get my weiss distribution tool after the coffee beans have ground into the portafilter. I perfectly distribute the ground beans. I then tamp those beans and put the shower screen on top as I then pour in the exact right amount of water on top of the portafilter. I put it into my Coffee Lot Robot manual espresso machine. I put a scale underneath it

with a drinking receptacle on top. Within a minute and 15 seconds, I will squeeze out 40 grams of the most perfect espresso you've ever had. And I will drink deeply from it as I then take a stress shower while listening to today's episode of up first podcast not listening to all of it thinking about all the things i have to do that day that is my morning routine you just have a soylent you could just have a soylent and watch youtube yeah that's way easier measuring out the beans though the ritual is great it smells great and then having to think that early some of its second nature now i don't have to like oh where do i do this but like being like oh how many beans what am i doing and i'll change it if it's a pour over it's more like 30 grams for 500 milliliters um for an espresso it's 20 to 40 grams we're talking

aero press we're talking 15 grams to the whole length where's your water grant is it filtered i was for a time being for for a short period of time shipped in from columbia it became too much work i was purchasing distilled water and adding mineral sachets of the perfect amounts of calcium magnesium and other things i now just use new york tap water because it's fantastic uh now not unlike how matthew's life has changed considerably over the past few months and his morning routine has changed. How has yours changed since you before you bought this ten thousand dollar coffee? I like a baby.

Did you just put his baby, Mr. Coffee? It has. No, I was on espresso before that. And I did. It was Mr. Coffee and I masturbated in the shop. I've changed quite a bit you had time you had time for the simple pleasures with a mr coffee that you don't with a a kalita pour over uh no uh it's it's interestingly enough made me wake up earlier

but it's only like i can get all that done in two and a half minutes it's not once you know what you're doing it's not like it doesn't take you a half hour to do it. Yeah. It's definitely a better cup. I go through phases where I grind my beans. And other times I'm like, man, it's so much easier to just throw the beans, throw the grounds right in. Well, what I did last night, because I knew we had to be here and I don't like doing a

lot of prep if I have to get a computer pack, all this other stuff. I pre-ground the beans the night before and let them sit in my mocha master shame yeah you better not put that on the forum she'll get kicked right out of your coffee club i know i know i've let me load up this google docs i've prepared a goodbye letter to my coffee club because i knew we were talking about this dear coffee club you might as well have taken old grinds out of the trash and and made a new brew with that but you saw i brought in the the thermos i brought in the the carafe you did the thermal carafe is a giant size carafe full of uh grant brew grant i don't care i don't i don't love coffee i'm not in the habit of drinking and and caffeine does has weird physiological effects on me but i feel like i want to try a cup of your coffee oh i'd make you a great cup i'd make

whatever you want uh the only thing is is that if you want to i will say the only thing is it's gonna cost you 15 every pour out of this machine if you want anything other than animal-based milk i'm open to goat i'm open to cow i'm open to well you know there's we won't go into the other places you get milk from but if you're in anything go into them i have nipples grant you you milk me you have to take your shirt off before you step into my wait great sorry how many cups a day you have in it you haven't like 18 just espressos are you just after the espresso do you have another i'll do whatever i need espressos by the way a red bull a shot of espresso will usually have less caffeine milligrams in it than a really strong pour over i want to

know your total consumption of caffeine i'm like three cups a day three cups but three espresso three it's a double shot espresso which is like you know just about six strong six cups of coffee what i'm hearing is six espressos but but it's not if you were to have six pour over cups of coffee versus three double espressos you would have more caffeine on the pour over yeah you'd be like frying that yeah yeah uh but no no so let me finish thought yeah sorry you want anything besides plant-based milk you got to buy the specialty stuff because using non-plant-based froth milk is terrible so so what i could make you a black pour over a beautiful pour over that you would never need any milk with and would taste you taste the beans like you wouldn't in most things uh i can make you an aero press uh and i could do uh colita wave or i could do a chemex

i know uh, Colita wave, or I can do a chemex. I don't know. Go on. Or you can do it. You can do an espresso, which I'd recommend you do with milk and not drinking. I would, I don't know what any of those words mean. So I would take your best recommendation.

Okay. I don't know anything that you just said, and I'm not exaggerating. I don't know what a pour over is. I've never heard that in my life. You pour water on top of a conical filter, typically. While poor people watch. And you stand over them. They stand over you and look down into your cup.

And they're tears. It's flavored by the tea or the color. Just the amount of minerals that you need to make it so they call it a pour over this is that's good people this is this is the misconception though you can get like a pour over with a little carafe for like 25 bucks and if you just buy good beans and boil water and pour it over you i go an extra mile and have a kettle that stays at an exact degree the whole time and i measure everything but you don't have to do that doesn't have to be that intense you don't have to do it you don't have to you don't have to do any of this folks don't freak out don't freak out you don't have to do any don't any of this is not

these are not orders you don't drink coffee right it's good or do you drink a coffee no You don't have to do any of this. These are not orders. You don't drink coffee, right? Or do you drink a coffee? No, I don't. Sometimes I'll drink a coffee, but not usually. And Joe, you don't drink coffee, right? No, I do not. I was reflecting upon this the other last live show. I was like, I think Troy and Grant are really the only coffee drinkers of the group.

Yeah. Which probably makes us a strange statistical anomaly. Do you have a Breville? Yeah, I do have the Breville, which is great. Brevilles are good. Yeah is good yeah and you know when i first added water to it you had to do a test of the water yeah the ph strip yeah the ph strip and then you set the based on the hardness yeah it'll soften your water if you need it um i know now exactly how skid felt when we talked about elden ring i don't know anything that you're saying and I could care about coffee maker brands.

Well, what is your normal coffee-less morning like? Coffee-less morning. Joyless and gray. Coffee-less morning. I walk around in a haze, so tired for hours, and I don't know how to fix this. I stare at my lack of mustache. What is your routine?

What is your deal? Well, basically, there's one of two options, option A and option B. Option A is I get up with the kids, and option B is I don't get up with the kids, and usually with option B, I take them to school. So sleeping in means like not. I mean, they still wake you up at 630.

They just wake you up. But then if my wife is getting up with them, which is most of the time, she'll get up and take them downstairs. And then I will generally turn over to the side, take my wife's pillow and put it on the other side of my head so that I don't hear the constant screaming and bitching about something. The color of the cereal bowl, the color of the straw in the water cup, whatever it is, the I don't want to go to school every day. And it's just like, and you still go every day. And this doesn't change. It is staggering to me.

Today, we're going to be like you know what well if you really don't want to all right you don't have to go i've listened to your pleas these past nine months exactly so option a my wife gets up and then what i do is i'll stay in bed till about 7 30 and then i'll get up and i'll read all my phone for but usually it's asana tasks and stuff and uh emails it's sort of like starting the day and then i will get up just in time to uh wrangle them out the door so i'll just like pull on dirty pants dirty shirt dirty hat stumble out the door throw them into the car it's awful in winter because you gotta like their jackets are too thick for the car seat so you gotta like take them out in like regular clothes

get them in the car quick before they get frostbite and buckle them in shut the door throw all their hats gloves everything in the car drive them to school then get out in the parking lot get them out put a winter coat on them a hat gloves all this shit walk them 300 yards to the front door of the school and then stand outside while they wait for uh the teachers to come out and take them uh and then yeah i'm usually home by like 9 o'clock. And then it's time to either hopefully exercise for a half hour, which never happens, and then get in the shower and get on the computer for 10 straight hours. Man, you would love coffee if you had it.

I can't tell you. All of that would be so much more enjoyable. And that is the good option. That is the good option. The bad option is get up with them, because then you've got to do cereal, and you have to empty the dishwasher from the night before, which is... I mean, there's so many dishes. There's so many dishes every day.

And yeah, that's pretty much that. It's pretty bad. I wish, like, I really want to set an alarm at 6 o'clock Get up, ride on the Peloton Shower and just be done with that At 7 when I have to give them cereal When I do do that It's all much more enjoyable

But I just don't do it because when that alarm Goes off at 6 o'clock I'm like And I just stay in bed It's just too hard But I do have to do it yeah what about you matthew typical routine previa pre-child and uh now uh in the thick of having a new relatively a newborn right yeah yeah that's still a newborn she's too much old yeah i mean i was just thinking about it it's actually not that different except there's just one major thing that just keeps interrupting the previous routine so i still you know i'll get

up now i mean now i just get up when the baby gets up for whatever feeding is going to be the start of her day you know i get her up i get her changed then okay we'll come and feed her and at that point i usually will go make us breakfast and then bring the breakfast in. Eventually, the baby will go down for a nap and then I will get started on my writing somewhere in there and then kind of peck at it until the baby's done for the nap. And then I furiously type before I would just I didn't get interrupted. What do you make for breakfast? I'm always like if I the most I'll ever do is like make cereal and on the weekends I'll make eggs. A lot of my breakfast are like Lara bars a Banana like something not

That excited I'm jealous of people that Can get their stuff together and not Crack open a Soylent or you Lara bar like me And like do you make something Good or is it just like yogurt and berries I mean Which is bad Which takes no effort

It makes you a poor father If you do You would be standing there While he does the pour over The baby currently Only drinks Milk Crying

Poor parenting skills No I usually If we're on the clock I'll just do cereal But I'll do eggs You know Probably I don't know

Once a week Twice a week Depending on our mood Twice a week What do you have Joe A couple chips A whole head of ice cream? Man, I really want to get on the Peloton this morning.

I do. But those Chips Ahoy are sitting heavy. I wanted to get on the Peloton, but I was like, you know what? Instead, I'll compromise, and I'll just put one scoop of vanilla on top of the two Oreos instead of two scoops of vanilla on top of the two Oreos. That's your health regimen. Oh, man. It's all about compromise.

It's all about compromise. Just got to figure out what they have time for. Sometimes it's a nutter butter. Jam a little nutter butter in there. Oh, well, now it's Girl Scout cookie time time So it's about six or seven thin mints That's a serving Matthew what time do you wake up? It changes because right now it's all based on the babies

And she's not old enough To have a real sleep routine Though we're working on it This morning I actually had a I guess I was up at like 4.45 And then I was like you know what Once I got Katelyin established with the baby and I snatched her to keep her awake, I was like,

I'm going to go right now. Because I was just awake enough to be functional but not awake enough to be judgy. And I went and I had 45 minutes to an hour of... I mean, it was bad, but it wasn't torture. And then I was like, I'm going to go back to bed now that the baby's back in the bassinet and sleep for another

45 minutes. The early nap. 6 30 a.m nap right that's fun i kind of have two different routines based on there's like a winter troy and then there's the rest of the year troy and winter troy is tends to be more like a bear like i hibernate i stay in a little later um like i'll get up at 6 45 now because sam gets up at anywhere between 5 30 and 6 because she discovered like you were saying joe that like that's the best you get up at least an hour before the kids get up have some coffee relax watch some shows do whatever without people jumping all over you um and so where she does that she's awake when dash and archer get up so i I just kind of laze around until 6.45.

Then I get up with everybody, go downstairs, have a cup of coffee. And I sit with my coffee and I try to read, leisure read, but sometimes I'm reading a rule book. It's still considered leisure read while I drink that cup of coffee. And then when that's done, it's breakfast. And my showers don't happen to later in the day unless I work out very early.

Because usually after breakfast, I'll have my second and third cup of coffee while I'm sitting at the computer doing work. It's like 7.45 is when I usually start. I usually shower around dinner. Shower around dinner. A little dinner time. This is one thing I feel like the pandemic did. I felt like I used to shower right away when I usually start. I usually shower around dinner. Shower around dinner. A little dinner time. This is one thing I feel like the pandemic did. I felt like I used to shower right away when I got up. And now I'm like, well, I'm going to exercise in the morning.

So I'll just wait until I exercise. But then sometimes I get bogged down. I don't exercise until the afternoon or whenever. And then I'm just gross and greasy for a little bit. Yeah, it throws me off. In springtime, I'll get up at 530 and I'll have coffee and a banana or something. And then I'll go outside and do CrossFit when it's nice out. Otherwise, I'll wait until noon and do that after I've got all the morning meetings out of the way.

But now I'm lucky enough to just go down and do some Peloton when it's three degrees out. But that might not happen until three o'clock. So I'm not showering until 4.30. What time do y'all go to bed? This has been an intro on another one. Yeah, it was. It was on A&A. Between 11 and 12.

So five hours of sleep? I average five and a half to six. Oh, that'll never come back and bite you. Yeah, it's real bad for your psyche. Five and a half to six. And your mental health and and bite you. Yeah, it's real bad for your psyche. Five and a half to six hours. And your mental health and your physical health. Yeah. You don't get as much out of the exercising when you only get five and a half to six hours.

It's so hard not to. I can't go to bed. It's really hard for me to go to bed before midnight regularly. Why? Because you lay there awake? No, I just, I can't, I don't want to go to bed. Now I'm just like Once Sam goes to bed At 10

Or 10.30 I rush in and play Elden Ring Well that's the thing It's like It's always things like Elden Ring It's always something

Oh and video I said this before too It's like I want to go to bed At 9.30 Because I feel so much Better when I do But I also

But so many times It's like when the kids Go to sleep And then Aaron goes to sleep That is the only time To play A video game. You know what I mean?

I'm just like, I'm going to soak this up and play right now. And with some games that have like addictive properties, I mean, I'll go till midnight without even noticing the time fly by. And then it takes my brain a half hour to spool down. And so it's just way too late. And it's not like,

okay, it's now it's after midnight. I'll get my eight hours and wake up at 8am. You have no choice yeah it's uh it's also the the very worst thing i've found to do right before bed so i won't do it video games anything where you're like problem solving and feeling stress from particularly a miyazaki game uh it's just like getting to the next checkpoint you just have like gone through several traumatic experiences to get there

and going to bed right after is, yeah, you have to decompress. Yeah. Your mind is like, yeah, it's, that's so bad,

but I'm not going to stop anytime soon. No, I mean, Elden Ring's not going to play itself. Now you've got me concerned about how much sleep I'm getting here. Let's see what it says. Say, where am I Apple watch to bed?

Oh, I average six hours and two minutes a night. That's pretty good. That's okay. Yeah. That's two, yeah. I think I've been trying to get to bed. That's borderline, though.

Don't go any less. Yeah, yeah. You don't need eight. Eight's great, but you don't need eight. You need eight for like a ongoing, like, healthy lifestyle. You don't need two kidneys to work. Right. Two is great.

Eight hours of sleep with children and life. It's very, hard to do it's definitely hard you know unless you want to go to bed at nine o'clock right like uh and people that are people that are blessed with that like people tell me they're like oh you're so lucky that you don't like coffee that like you don't have to deal with this thing you know in life And I feel the same way for people that are like 945. Like, no, that is past my bedtime. I will be in bed. I'm like, good for you. Like, I wish I could.

I don't know how. But at that time of night, I'm just like, I'm hanging out. Yeah. If I go to bed at 930, I'll be up at midnight and I won't go to bed for the rest of the night. Yeah. I also spent 20 years where my bedtime was 5 to 6 a.m. Yeah.

Working in bars and clubs. Also bad for you. Also very bad. Because then I'm only sleeping until 11. And so not getting a lot of sleep. I think I would go to bed earlier if Angel worked from home still. Hmm. It was like now I have to wait.

And she does a lot of comedy stuff and different classes and stuff after so like and sometimes i'm recording stuff afterwards and like we need to have married couple talking hey how was your day like whatever time we need to actually be cuban fucking beings together right that's what they say yeah that's what that's what our vows i thought you said cuban fucking beans we bring out the cuban beans at night but now you're making me hungry now oh now i'll never get to sleep it takes me three hours to prepare the cuban beans and that's why i'm up till 12 30 every night there's four cubans um well that's uh so i just think it's fun to get a look into everyone's uh

sort of way of doing things or at least the way we've exaggerated it for this podcast uh but i think people get a kick out of wondering what the hell our lives are like and they change ask this question and now a year from now it might be uh vastly different yeah yeah we'll see there's also like the you that you are the you that you yeah we'll see there's also like the you that it you are the you that you actually said about and then there's like the you that you want to be right um the you that you want to be is i really want to get out of bed at six o'clock and exercise because it does work so well 5 a.m if you can do it and get into it and find the bedtime for it is the absolute fucking best. All right, Mark Wahlberg.

I've heard enough. He gets up at 2 a.m. I know. Goes to bed at 8, up at 2. Starts his third workout by 4 a.m. Speaking of workouts, you guys are about to get a workout this episode. That was a great combat last week that I think when you were in the middle of it, you didn't maybe not enjoy it as

much, but I think it will play a lot better in retrospect in terms of the epicness of the scope. You've heard about Nalbia and Nalbur for a while now. Yeah. You got to face off against each of them in quick encounters. The maze one ended

that first one, then uh she slipped away from the first one now they came back and you were just surrounded by them with sir will of course cut off from the rest of you uh with this force wall i i took so i was thinking about it after the fact and i took some comfort uh in the fact that when now, now, unlike the Naga, when Nalbia reappears, I don't care. And I'm not afraid anymore because she's super easy. She'll run away. She'll just run away.

Shot once. It takes one round to get her to run away. So I'm not worried about it. I thought you had me. I really did. And I was bummed because I wanted her. I had my head. I was like, Oh, she's going to abandon her brother. I think that would be cool. But like, if you killed her, I don't have that option. And when you rolled that crit, I said, oh, shit, that's going to be a lot of damage. Kept her up. Then she only had X amount of hit points left. And when you hit again, I was just staring at my iPad. I think you even said he's just staring at his iPad like an old man looking for anything I could do that was immediate to fix my AC. And I had forgotten about the mischance.

And then when you said, oh, I got to roll my mischance. I'm like, so there's a chance. And then you failed. Do you guys remember in like the original Mario Bros, that like guy in the cloud that would throw like red shells at you? And it was really annoying every time. And you do you mean super mario brothers i do more the original name i mean i mean super mario bros yes i do know who you're talking that's basically what the uh nalvia she shows up she's annoying you hit her annoying here and you can you don't even get to hop in her cloud

and fly to the right level yeah i am seriously concerned about the return of the naga when that happens it's going to be a really bad time uh i don't care about when she shows up well hopefully the princess is in another castle i hope so boom sauce boom salad that turtle's name is lakitu by the way lakitu i think we can take come from the fact knowing that our uh our our guest was correct and that they were in an incestuous relationship with their rock. That's what I got from her farewell speech. She loved him more than she loved her husband. But now, and apparently we know

that the storm tyrant and now Borah got into a fist of cuffs of a kind. And Volstis won. And Volstis won. So when the chips were down here, when you guys almost killed her, she abandoned her brother to side with Volstice. I wonder if it was an arm wrestling contest. It might have been.

Volstice v. Nalbor. Boom. Elbows on the giant table. You think they did like the other hand cross? Yeah, other hand cross. You know what? I'll lift the veil. Chili cook-off.

Wow. Oh, you've got to try Volsus. Spoil it when you read the AP later. Chili cook-off. This does bring up an interesting approach that we haven't really tried with these enemies, which is... Incest? Yeah, incest is one.

So if we can get the 23 and me's done and see that I'm related to now Bort in some way, I will have sex with him. Short of that, thank you. Cease this fight! Short of that, we hear from Ren... Ring the rock. We hear from Ren Paul and from each other that all this crazy backstory stuff that's amazing and we kind of like in pre-episodes was like, oh, that's so crazy.

Can we talk now Bort into joining our side now and taking down this guy like why does he have to be our enemy he's been betrayed by his sister he's been knocked down by the ruler of this castle why doesn't he join our side because he is evil grant yeah but he can use this as a means to an end that's what evil people do he is evil he could become good no he cannot he could be he was once neutral he chose the evil. He could become good. No, he cannot. He could be. He was once neutral. He chose the evil path. He could pretend to help us and then double cross us after we take down his main rival. We murder his rock.

Yeah. Well, yeah. Unfortunately, Sir Will is not savvy enough for that at the moment. And you're cut off from all sound and spells. I don't think that's how forceful it works. It's just a little bit of quartz. A little dime bag full of quartz and you got yourself a force wall? Yes, Sir Will is in a bit of a precarious position here because I finally was able to hit you with the rock mount.

Of all things. The named rock mount. You guys would never know this name is gail scream that is a great name for a rock that you are having a sexual relationship right yeah is he a gail screamer um it uh finally hit you with the talon grabbed you and uh you know it's it's it's impetus now or it's its plan is to probably fly away with you and maybe just fucking throw you over the ledge i said that you felt it rearing up like it was going to toss you now my i i can't do that until i maintain the grapple i think we've you and

i were talking about it after we went off the air even though i haven't i kind of flew in with fly by attack grapple now that i were I gained the grappled condition as well, it kind of ends the movement there. At least that's the way I'm going to rule it. However, next round, if I maintain the grapple, I might just fucking throw you off. Who knows? Or I might just squeeze you to death.

It's not a good position for you. And you're not on your mount anymore because you dismounted Lexington to get here. So let's see how this all plays out. That was Null Burr and Gale Scream's turn. Crystal Gale Scream and

Albia's out of the combat. So it now goes to Metra. Okay. So Metra is going to cast Disintegrate and get this wall force out of our way okay and uh is that automatic i can't remember what you have specifically named in the spell disintegrate it is a classic uh counter spell not counter spell but a spell that counters another spell yes i'm i now that i've made my decision, I'm looking at the spell

text, and a wall of force is immune to dispel magic. That's right, I knew that. But didn't disintegrate automatically, ends it so... And then... Do I want to stay here? Yeah, I guess I'll

sleep... No, I'll move into the room What? You should disintegrate the saddle Do what you wanted to do all those ages ago Make him fall off Lower my ride check He doesn't need it, he stands He stands

Like a wakeboarder Oh, I forgot How else is he supposed to shoot his longbow when he's not standing on the flying rock mount? Rock mount. Yes, so Metro will slip into the room to the west, the kind of northern, northwestern side. Okay, you slip into the northwest underneath this overhang

that's above you where the weather isn't great out. Okay, it now goes to Nestor. All right, Nestor just is, the moment he sees her disappear again, he's like, fuck. And he whips around and prepares to unleash his ire, I think on the bird. I think that's a good idea. Yeah. I think he's going to just do a full attack action on the bird

beneath the man riding on top of him. And the bird is grappled, which means it's a sea is lower. Correct. Rush it. Alright, let's see. Got our new special cat side die. That's a skid.

Natural 20. Oh my goodness. Natural 20. Oh, huge. And we learned this is from Mally DeBlack sent us these dice. Ah, yes. And we, I think we didn't have a note. No, I promised

there was no note. Yeah, here it is. Here it is. Mally wrote in and said, I'm very upset, don't know what happened. The note with the custom D20s read, to Troy, Skid, Grant, and Matthew. Notice, there's no Joe.

Merry Christmas, and thank you for many years of joy You've brought me and the rest of the nash Love Mally D That was the note And then apparently there was a separate box Sent for me that says it was delivered Here on January 6th

And Skid Apparently stole it And lied about it Which is such a weird thing to lie about. That was weird of me. Maybe the UPS guy rolled a Joe. Maybe. To confirm, Skid, with your brutal opening shot. 42

to confirm. That is confirmed. Crit. Oh, you're done. Gale scream. Done. Alright, let's go to Mark from Toronto. Oh, two Canada crits in a row. Hi, Mark. Mark from Toronto. Oh, two Canada crits in a row. Hi, Mark. Mark from Toronto.

They call the wind. Give them the old razzmatazzle. Ooh. Your bloodthirsty blow strikes the target with such deadly precision it evokes the ghost of a savage red cap. Double damage and the creature gains the dazzled condition. Will save negates the dazzled condition As the target realizes the blood in their eyes was in fact just a ghostly specter momentarily haunting them

Alright, so it's just triple damage and dazzled Okay, so, and this is with the many shot Times three, that is 105 points of damage Yeah Phenomenal Okay, and that you didn't triple the precision, right? No times three. That is 105 points of damage. Yeah. Phenomenal. Okay, and that you didn't triple the precision, right? No.

Okay, gotcha. There was no precision. Not precision. Yeah, okay, great. Big, you said how much? 100 and... 105. Okay. Beautiful.

Okay. He's very late. He's relishing now the chance to fire at something that doesn't keep blinking in and out of reality. Second attack is a 31 to hit. 31 is a hit with its lowered AC. 25 points of damage. Okay.

Third attack. What about electricity? That is, two of that is electricity. Oh, so that's all told it in. Okay. Yeah. Third attack. Mm-hmm.

Oh, that's a hit with an eddy 17. 28 points of damage. Okay. Fourth attack. Oh, damn it. That is a 27 to hit. That is a 27 to hit. That is a hit. Okay, nice.

Yeah, dude! 28 points of damage. Okay. Okay. Fifth attack. That is... Yeah, 29 to hit. That's a hit. 33 points of damage. And that is 29 to hit. That's a hit.

33 points of damage. And that is enough to kill. Yes! Yes! Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom. Oh, man. And it deals 300 points of damage, crushing Sir Will under its wings. We are very sorry to kill your avian lover.

But now will you please consider our proposal to come join our side? What proposal? I didn't hear your opening banter. It is very windy out here. I didn't hear your opening banter. And as Nalbor is plummeting atop his dead rock into the wreckage of its nest, he is going to fire his final shot into the giant. And almost certainly miss. That is a 23 to hit.

And that does miss. This is very, very interesting here. So Nestor just lights up the bird and kills it. So the rock falls. This gargantuan bird just crumbles to the ground at Sir Will's feet. It is now Baron's turn. All right. It is now Baron's turn.

Let me give it a quick. Okay. I passed whatever hover fly check being on a broom, even though I haven't flown yet. I just said I got on. Oh, okay. Oh, you're not flying. Right. So you're only 35 feet away where you have not begun flying.

Yeah. So he's going to take a full attack action. You're cornered now, you son of a bitch. Oh, out of the box for the first attack. That is good or bad for him. We'll see. That's a hit with a 16 on the die. Nice.

Okay. Let's see how much damage he can do. 35 points of damage on the first shot. Oh, boy. The second shot. Is a 23 against Touch AC? That is a hit. Oh, nice numbers.

37 points of damage on the second attack. Okay. Third attack is a misfire. That's what we needed. That's what we needed. Okay. And that will end Baron's turn. I'm trying to think if he has a swift action he could take to help out, but he does not.

So that is the end of his toying. Wow. Wow. Okay. As always, could change things. It is Sir Will's turn. So what is Sir Will's story? Is he... Where is he?

He's not even on the map. You have taken him off the map. You're on the map. He can't see you? Where? I can't see me. You're right to the south of your dock. I'm right...

Refresh your page up. Oh, weird. Just completely missing. And by the rules set up by our house game, you are permanently dead then. If roll 20 glitches out, your character is permanently dead. Oh, man. Okay.

So I am released and in melee with this dude? Yep. But is he, are you prone? Or he didn't move you, so you were still in the spot you were standing? Yeah, I'm going to say no prone. I didn't lift you. I couldn't. Right, so he grabbed me and in that instant just got,

like all these arrows come into its neck. Sir Will is now coated in blood from this creature and he is already smited heathel. Oh, this is so fantastic. Coated in the blood of Charles S. Dutton. Coated in the blood of Charles S. Dutton. And now standing in melee with this giant, he is going to draw out Roselight. His long sword, which is now full-on medium size and not a small blade anymore.

And it comes out, and he is going to attack. So just let me get my status right here. I didn't realize it was going to be right here Alright here we go First swing Almost never do this Critical threat Critical threat Natural 19 critical threat

Okay okay Critical threat Critical threat To confirm To confirm That is a 30 Oh wait a minute Sorry let me take off the grappled condition

That is A 33 to confirm That is confirmed Yes Oh my goodness! We're going to have to stop and edit this because I have no idea how to roll this damage. I never crit and I have Smite Evil on and stuff. Does Smite Evil add damage dice or just damage points?

Yeah, it adds just damage points. Do they get doubled? Yeah, I think. I got it right here. It is doubled. It's like favorite enemy. Where it's sneak attack. Extra dice don't get multiplied.

Extra just static damage does. Oh, okay. Because like Bane is extra dice, but this is extra static damage. Got it. Okay. Awesome. All right. Then let's go in here from Jordan in Beaver Creek, Ohio.

Oh, hey-o. Jurassic Snark. You land a dynamite blow on the target. Double damage, but add insult to injury with a dinosaur or Jurassic Park-themed one-liner to increase to triple damage. Oh, okay. Oh, wow. Can you do it?

In character is preferable, but any combatant who is unable to speak, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Got a lot of options here. Yeah. Got a lot of options. In character is preferable, but any combatant who is unable to speak, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Got a lot of options here. Yeah. Got a lot of options. Oh, this is wild. Got a lot of options here. You get extra multiplier if you deliver this.

If I deliver a line from Jurassic Park in character. We should have a timer on this. Oh, God. There's one that jumps right to the front of my brain uh blank under pressure i'll give you 30 seconds can can you ad lib it can you change the line but have the spirit of it like 30 seconds from now what i hate all right he's just he's gonna lean he's gonna lean close to the giant and whisper i going to cut you here and here. The point is, you will be alive when we start to eat you.

I don't know if that was good or not. It's pretty good. It's very good. It's very good. All right, so I'll do triple. Absolutely. So good. Man, that's great, too, with the Smite Evil. Get triple triple. Absolutely. So good. Man, that's great, too, with the Smite Evil. Get triple damage.

Yeah, triple damage. All right, here we go. This is going to be a lot. Last time you did this. Yeah, that's going to be 74 points of damage. Oh, my God. Wow. And how many attacks you get?

Four attacks. Okay, yeah. Thank God you're not hasted. Okay. So that's the first one. Second attack, natural one. There we go. That comes right back.

And the world balances itself. To confirm, natural 19. Okay. So not confirmed. That's what you're to hit right now? That's pretty high. Yeah, it's pretty high. It's as high as...

Oh, he's not hasted. Because he'd smite evil. It's a huge bonus. Okay. All right. So third attack, natural one. Oh, my God. One?

There we go. Natural 19. Natural one. Natural 19. All right. Read me the total on the confirm now. Yeah, no a third attack. Natural one. Oh, my God. One. There we go. Natural 19. Natural one. Natural 19. All right, read me the total on the confirm now. Yeah, no, I know. I know. Oh, okay.

The total is 35. Not a fumble. Okay. Wow, okay. And then last one. Oh, God, I'm lucky right now. Natural 20. Oh, my God.

Wow. Wow. Wow. A study in extremes. 21. It was a palindrome. Wow. Wow. Wow. A study in extremes. It was a palindrome. Yeah, really. All right, to confirm. To confer, this would be amazing.

Two crits at one round. Natural 16. Oh, and Mike's still not my 30. His AC. Yes. His 30 exact. Oh, yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! I can't believe this. What a turn! Oh, my God! Crit, fumble, fumble, crit. He should have just let himself plummet to earth.

It would have been less painful. Totally. I can't believe this. His rock would have survived. What a bizarre turn. That was amazing. All right. This one from Brian from BB Arkansas.

Brian from BB Arkansas. BB Arkansas. I would have words with thee. Your righteousness indignation is so great that you begin chastising your enemy as you swing. This sounds about right. If your words are powerful enough by consensus of the players you deal double. Oh my god, is this two in a row?

You deal double damage and knock your enemy prone. Make another attack roll. If it would confirm your crit again, it also knocks the weapon from your enemy's hand. Oh wow. Okay. So you have to come up with some words. I would have words with thee. Skid, get the timer going your enemy's hand. Oh, wow. Okay. So you have to come up with some words. I would have words with thee. Skid, get the timer going.

30 seconds. What do you get? 30 seconds on the clock. He rolls again and see if he knocks the weapon out of your hand. Okay. Starting now. Alright, 30 seconds on the clock. I would have words with thee. Oh my god. Oh my god. So he has now sliced him open and blood is just

pouring out. He's like, my allies gave you a choice to join with the side of right to save your own life. But you're pathetic. Just like your sister. I'm surprised you haven't run already. You'll be finished soon enough. And he will

attack. Time? That's five seconds left. Alright. Was it good enough? It was will attack. Time? We have five seconds left. Alright. Was it good enough? It was pretty good. Pretty good. So what happens now? Alright, so it's double damage and he gets knocked prone. Alright, so he'll be knocked prone, but the weapon stays in his hand?

And I make another attack and if I confirm if I hit him again, he just loses the weapon. Let me just roll the double damage real quick. That is 53 points of damage. Okay. And then one more attack roll at this lowest bonus is a 19. All right.

So he keeps his weapon. Okay. But he's freaking prone. He was prone already. Which makes him harder to hit by the two range combatants. That's true. Which is very dumb because we're very close to him And he's huge

Okay and you're right Next to him so if I stand up That's going to provoke Yes Alright it's his turn And the prone Really sucks He was probably prone already

Because he fell the rock fell Did he roll probably prone already. Because he fell. The rock fell. Yeah. Sure. Did he roll acrobatics when he fell? I don't think he did, Troy. He didn't. He was only five feet above the ground.

You can actually roll a ride check for that. If your mount is pulled out from underneath you. Maybe I'm wrong. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, this is really interesting. Soft fall.

Yeah. It looks like it. Soft fall is a DC 15 ride check. You negate damage when you fall off a mount. If you fail the ride check, you take 1d6 damage and are prone. Yeah. I mean, I got a plus 23 to ride. Yeah.

So it sounds like you're not prone if you just fall from a mount and you can make that ride check. The crit made me prone though. So, okay. Even a flying mount? Yeah, I don't think the rules are the same. Oh boy. Alright, so. It is awesome though. He gets shot out from under him and he

maintains his balance and just down on the ground. Big dust cloud. Yeah, yeah. And then just slices his ankle out from under him. Yeah. Falls over. Dude, that's, what is that, like 130 points of

damage? Yeah. Sir Will did that round with his, it's a blazing light of holiness. He's got a lot of hit points. Yeah.

Okay. It's mini boss. It's a lot of hit points. Yeah. Don't call me mini boss. I'm a giant. I'm a giant. I'm a giant.'m a giant Ho ho ho

V5 If I shoot from my back here That would also provoke So I don't want to do that Because I don't want to give you You've been hitting everything And that's going to be at your highest BAB So I'm going to

Drop my bow. And as he does so, he, like, pulls out his battle axe. And he just goes to vital strike at your feet, Sir Will, to, like, cut your legs off. Oh, jeez. Oh. Wasn't expecting that. I thought he was just going to be ranged all the way. Yeah.

I don't want to provoke from you because you have been crushing, and I don't want you to kill him before I get this shot off. So I'm going to go Vital Strike. Let me put Prone on. Is it May? So I feel like sometimes... It does affect my attack. Sometimes we gloss over these things.

So by dropping your weapon, you're doing that for free. You're vital striking because drawing your weapon will not provoke an attack of opportunity, but it will take a move action. So you're vital striking as a standard action to get the extra damage. Right, where I'm going to get that one attack off, I'm going to try and maximize it with vital strike. That makes sense. That's smart. Man, a crit here could kill sir will um well or at least mess him up yikes okay and remember we had a whole conversation about

vital strikes critting and what that does with damage and i don't think any of us remember no we'll remember if it happens uh let me just see what that cost me for a neck i'm like trying to use what little action economy economy i have here to try and do the best I can. Okay, yeah, that's what he's going to do. So he hits the ground from Sir Will's onslaught of blows, drops the bow, and just tries to take your legs out. I'm prone, so I'll take a minus four to attack. Times three crit with this battle axe. Man, I'm still using the same

die from last week which was very hit or miss here we go crack time another crack time that one was both of those okay that is eight oh man i can't remember what you said last week Because you had said 37, 38 or 39 Depending on your things That is a 38 to hit His AC Is 39 Wow I thought it was 38

That's awesome It's because of the smite evil The rock had lower because he wasn't smited And It's plus one for Foes larger than yourself With halflings It should be a plus 29

But I take a minus four for being prone So plus 25 and I rolled a 13 On the die lucky 13 Holy crap And you're getting a plus two from your defensive trade on your weapon too right No that's He has the sword in hand now. Oh, yeah, that's not a defensive weapon.

That would have been 8d6 plus 19. I didn't realize smite gave you a defensive bonus against your smitee. Yeah, it gives you a deflection bonus. That's awesome. So he strikes out in a lashed-ish effort to try and take your legs out, and he misses. It is now Met Metro's turn. I didn't think it would get back around to me. He's just laying there. He looked

so badass when he was standing atop that rock. And now he's just full of bullets and arrows. I'm gonna hold. I don't have to waste a spell. I'll pop back in if Baron and Nestor can't take care of him. Good thinking.

Okay. Then unless Nestor rolls a nat 1 and breaks his bow or shoots himself, this might be over. Nestor, you're up. Okay. I will do a hover check, and I barely make it with a 15. Okay. And, of course, he has the bonus to his AC where he's prone against range.

Right. I know. Even though I'm over him Looking at this giant target This is so silly He has to hit the floor It's because his arms are all akimbo He's like a chalk outline Saul Bass Saul Bass is a credit sequence

Alright, first attack with the many shots That he target Deadly aim, etc Oh, that is a hit credit sequence. All right. First attack with the many shots that he targeted. Deadly aim, et cetera. Oh, that is a hit. Well, let's see. That is a 37. That is a hit.

Okay. 60 points of damage. He's dead. Okay. Wow. Wow! Wow, what a fight! That was awesome. That was great. I thought this episode was going to be a lot more complicated,

trying to save Sir Will from being flung off the side of the road. Yeah, I know. I know, so the bird had snatch, which allows you as a standard action to just fling you 1d6 by 10 feet. So I was going to maintain the grapple. It would have been all but guaranteed to maintain the grapple, fly you at half speed out to the ledge,

and then just drop you. Yeah. Fling you, rather. So you would have no, there's no reflex save. You don't get a bonus to try and escape. It just flings you, and you fall 500 feet.

No, remember, it wouldn't have been a problem because he now has the Wyvern Cloak, which is constant feather. Oh, I forgot. So I wasn't worried at all. Joe, shut up next time about your items.

I just wanted to say. Oh, that's good. That's great. It's good to know. Yeah, but it would at least taken you out of the combat. I was imagining a scenario where Metro would try to dimension door down to where you were. It would have taken me out of the combat. I was imagining a scenario where Metro would try to dimension door down to where you were falling. It would have taken me out of the combat for one round. Yeah. One round.

Wow. And then put him back. That was a hell of a fight, you guys. That was great. If only we could have gotten Alvia, too. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry that I missed on the blur. Me, too.

Shame on yourself. I missed most of mine, too. I only got, like missed most of mine too i missed i only got like two of mine i think if one of you had gotten one of one of the ones you missed she would have been done for i think so yeah she's truly the glass cannon of this entire adventure path she shows up she does something cool disappears right before she breaks does that change all your thoughts on tactics against her? You know, Blink makes it where... All you can do is burst damage.

Or restrain her. You know what I mean? Dimensional anchor. But she's a witch. I can do a hold monster on her, but she's going to make the save. Could you cast silence around her to keep her from casting dimensional whatever she's doing? Is that what she's doing, Troy? Like, is she casting a spell right before she vanishes?

Yeah. Yeah, you see a flourish and there are words. Yeah, so, yeah, maybe a silence spell. I don't have silence. She's a cool character. I've actually changed her a little bit from the book because a lot of times the spells don't really match up with where the campaign's at.

But, yeah, I didn't think she'd survive two of these, even with Blink. I mean, the Bl blink made all the difference i don't know for some reason it's a blind not a blind spot for me but it's a uh a misconception i have i just feel like mischance i always get burned by it i feel like but no it actually has been pretty helpful especially in this book i have i think i've come out on top more than I have. Oh, yeah. It drastically lowers the odds past, I would say, the second iterative attack. Past that attack, you already have to roll higher than 50% chance to hit, and then you have to roll another 50%, so it just really lowers the odds. I don't know why I think it's so bad, but it's kept the combats going for me a few times.

However, now yet another one of Volstis' lieutenants has fallen. We've talked about this before. Joe, do you say iteration? Do I? I think I do. Iteration. Iteration. It's just iteration.

It's just iteration. I also say sequently sometimes. Iterative. Iterative. I have trouble saying like three times. I can't do it. Iterative. You can't do it. You can't say it iterative. Iterative. I have trouble saying like three times. I can't do it. You can't do it. You can't say it iteratively.

Iterative. Iteratively. Iteratively. I believe it's iteratively. Iterative attacks. That's okay. I still can't say surveillance. Surveillance?

Surveillance. Surveillance. Surveillance. Surveillance. Is that correct? Yes. Yes. Surveillance.

I've heard surveillance but i think it's surveillance you've heard it from me because i'm an idiot that can't you say surveillance a lot of people say surveillance yeah but why why there's a weird there's a weird ei but that happens before where you're putting it be like sure but it's like aluminium or something yeah it's like that doesn't make sense either just people i think it's just the way People's brains process Some words in their letter order Will lead them to that To do that

You should hear what people What telemarketers do To my last name How Capodicasa No that's when That's the automated That's the automated version

Capodicasa Capodicasa No it's You usually got a lot of Capadusca Capricious Hey yo Capadusca

Hey Capadusca It's the Capadus Capadus When I You read the first three letters And then you just gotta make up usually got a lot of kapoduska capricious hey yo kapoduska kapoduska kapoduska kapoduska first three letters and then you just gotta make up the rest when i was uh calling ahead because you landed ahead in the hotel room in our last live show was in my name and i wanted to transfer it to your name i did the phonetic kind of spelling thing for my last name and i was like b as in boys and echo r as in romeo g as in gamma when it came to your name I was like B as in boys and Echo, R as in Romeo, G as in Gamma. When it came to your name I was like, just bear with me for a second. C-A-P-O Do you got that so far?

It's a nightmare. I can't believe you live with that name on a daily basis. C-A-P-O. Let me take a drink of water here. R-A-T-I Hold on, let me stretch. Eat a banana. How much Italian do you know? Alright, so

You have won this battle Only so many left You look up, half of the ceiling More than half is open to the mezzanine Above the two steel bowls Leading up there This wall of force that kind of appeared out of nowhere is no longer there um these two big old nests uh a dead bird and a dead giant what do you do

search the body search the body okay the bird has some feathers on his person. We each pluck a feather, and I stick one in my headband. I stick it straight out the front. Like the feather is growing straight out of my forehead. Like a visor? Yeah. You get very sick because birds are dirty. They are gross. Yes. Yeah, that's true.

But this one was well cared for. It was. It was his favorite mount, and now they're flying the skies of hell together. He has magical armor, which is obviously huge armor. I said huge. Sometimes sometimes i say huge and is that what

size he was well his weapons are gargantuan um but i think he was huge where is he yeah huge so he's got a huge magical chain shirt he's got a uh gargantuan masterwork battle axe. He has a gargantuan magical longbow. Composite longbow, actually. And he also has two potions, a ring, and one of those badges

with the image of the rock on it. And those badges are distinct from the Cloud Engineer badges? Yeah, this is different. Okay. okay badge with a rock on it well we we finally got to reach uh nestor's desired bow lust he he skid mentioned he was lusting after me oh but here we are without access to the very forge that is capable of resizing giant things to our size. What a... What a... Can we spellcraft it anyway?

Just to see. Sure. You guys want to do a nice spellcraft for everything? I rolled a Joe. Oh. Grant, you better roll high. Give me one roll and I'll give you everything you score. Yeah, I'm just not good at spellcraft, so we'll see.

Joe. Oh, Joe got a nat 1. 17. Okay, I can't tell you about the badge. I can't tell you. I can tell you there are two potions of Cure Sirius. I can tell you the ring is a ring of animal friendship. Friendship?

Oh. Friendship. Friendship. A ring of animal friendship always bears some sort of animal like a design in its craftsmanship on command this ring affects an animal as if the wearer had cast charm animal causing the animal to regard the wearer as a trusted friend this one of course has an image of a rock insignia so maybe so only of that type? It is shockingly unclear by the text. The bow, however, is a plus four composite longbow.

What do you have, Nestor? Old Jolter's a plus one. Well, that's not fair. It's an equivalent plus two, right? Because it has electricity. Yeah, it has electricity. Would you just let him resize the damn bow? It's the end of the fucking campaign.

Why don't you guys just fly to Mineral's Cathedral and talk to your old friend... What's her name? Farron. Farron. So, bottle cap. What you didn't see at home is that Troy... Fist pump. Pumped a fist of joy for getting that name right.

So Nestor, he saw this bow in use, and even before getting the results of the spellcraft check, before the spellcasters can tell him exactly what it is, he knows that this thing is powerful. Just from watching it be wielded and he kind of like gives a sigh and he reaches behind his back and he pulls out a kukri, a cold iron kukri and he lays

his right hand across the breastplate of this fallen giant and he looks up at the others and and he smiles with his big, like, tooth-missing grin, gives a wink, and he chops off his right hand. Jesus. He winces from the pain for a moment, and he reaches into his magical quiver and pulls out a metallic looking hand. What? And magically grafts onto the stump of his wrist. Oh my God.

And we'll see you next week. Oh my God. I need a week to process that shit. Wait, he winces? He winces for a little bit. A little bit. Oh, that stings a bit, doesn't it? He's going to wince a little more

from Sir Wills Lance in his back. Screw you! Oh, my God, you son of a bitch! What's Baron going to do? Oh, my God! Oh, my God! No, I mean, I think if anyone's going to wear a Dwarven Hero's metallic arm, it should be Nestor. Oh, my God. No, I mean, I think if anyone's going to wear a Dwarven Heroes metallic arm, it should be Nestor.

Oh, man. Let's do the next one right now. Let's do it right now. Thanks for listening to the Glass Cannon Network. For more podcasts and live streams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. And for exclusive shows and content you can't find anywhere else, subscribe today at patreon.com slash glasscannon. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production

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