The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 320 - Hand Theft Auto

Episode Date: March 22, 2022

The party confront Nestor about his latest bold choice. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Extras, taxes, and delivery additional. Expires April 8th. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment last week on the glass cannon podcast i finally was able to hit you with the rock mount of all things its plan is to probably fly away with you and maybe just fucking throw you over the ledge with the paladin inches away from death nestor just lights up the bird and kills it so the rock falls this gargantuan bird just crumbles to the ground fate had a different plan in store for the heroes standing in melee with this giant he is going to draw out Roselight. Natural 20.

Oh my god. Wow. But even as good, seem to triumph over evil. 60 points of damage. He's dead. Wow. An ancient power was awakened by the slayer. And he looks up at the others,

and he smiles with his big tooth-missing grin, and gives a wink, and he chops off his right hand. The adventure continues. And he reaches into his magical quiver and pulls out a metallic-looking hand. What? And it magically grafts onto the stump of his wrist Hello, Internet people.

It's a beautiful day in New York City, as evidenced by looking out the window of our studio. Listen, we here at the Glass Cannon Podcast, we're just five guys. We have tricked you, the listener, into believing that we're close friends. And we've been tricking you for seven

years. Fact of the matter is we were cast, kind of like how NSYNC was brought together. Exactly like NSYNC. Yes. Same people. Shady manager came up to we were cast kind of like how in sync was brought together. Exactly. Like, yes, this same people,

shady manager came up to me and was like, fine for other dudes to make a super group to create podcasts. Can I be Lance? You are Lance. Thank you. Always be Lance. Thank you. Um,

no, but the point is we are all very different. We are wildly different although we have some similarities our tastes are very different and even though there are similarities there our tastes are very different however today i smelled you coming a mile away you got so close there was a moment when I saw the stars about to align. Joe's wife has been shaking our significant others down to buy cookies for Joe's daughter's Girl Scout troop. And so Joe brought in some Girl Scout cookies for me today. And I had told Joe, I buy my cookies from Nick Lowe's daughter. Get your filthy cookies away from me.

So we got some pity cookies from Joe. And we split our order exactly down the middle. And we just, it came up like, what's your favorite cookie? And Joe and Grant and Skid and I all, like at the same time said samoa's we all realized we all like samoa's we were like we were in shock that the four of us liked the same thing as the best thing yeah never happened before never in seven years has that ever happened yes no exaggeration if matthew comes out of the bathroom toilet paper probably on his

shoe and we ask him just waiting waiting for this moment so we could stand up and hug and we said matthew what's your favorite cookie he said thin mints we were representing what are you nine i mean come be fair there have been many many many moments over the seven years where all of us but you agreed on the thing troy usually it was game related i don't remember that at all you ever called the forum this is the craziest most acid ruling you've ever come up with and you being like i disagree i just i i really wanted you to i really wanted you to come through there and in my heart as i saw you stumbling out of the bathroom i knew you would drunk i do my drinking in the bathroom

a bottle of gin there's a bottle of fireball stash in the basin of the toilet like the gun and godfather feeling around back there i love that it's fireball keeps it cool it's a smart place to keep your fireball not to mention thin mints are kind of gross the mints are the best cook i mean i listen i don't begrudge you your dislike of some your your enjoyment of samoa's i just don't care for coconut so there's it's that i have that obstacle it's like nick low and pickles yeah it's wrong with coconut coconut's so delicious the only thing that makes coconut better is chocolate i'll tell you what troy right here live i don't think i haven't had a samoa since i was a child

oh my god i'll have one of your samois i'm also breaking my my no sugar my no processed sugar wait a minute do it wait a minute he hasn't paid for them yet i'm not sure i need them open and just all right oh and i told you my wife handles the cookie money all right he's buying girl scout cookies off your credit i feel like this is a long time just to get a free cookie, but I'm new. Dude, if that's what it is. It should be rewarded if that's so. If that's so, that's brilliant. Right, you just have to tip your cap. You know what, Troy?

I don't remember what Thin Mints tastes like. Could you send over a few of those Thin Mints? Right, so your theory here is that I'm going to reveal after eating this that Samoas are my favorite after all. You've grown so much. There's a part of me that hopes that, but I just want you to enjoy it. He's holding it now. All right it in his hand holding it up it's not like biting into a coconut it's just the coconut gives you a little extra john that's it's not the shell of the coconut it's my problem it's biting into a hairy hard coconut what do you think

coconut is he just bit into it he just broke a tooth on the outside of the coconut shell. He's bleeding. He's bleeding. Oh, my God. ASMR. Immediate reaction. If you like coconut, this would be the best cookie ever. Why do you have to say it like that? Oh, it doesn't qualify it. Because the first thing I taste is coconut.

I wonder if they could make one, a Samoa, a coconut-less Samoa, and it would just be crispity, crunchity, delicious-y. I'd be so there. I think he'd be there. Just a Moa. if they could make one a samoa a coconutless samoa and it would just be crispy crunchy delicious i'd be so there i think you'd be there just a moa just a moa part of it is just like i just love the coconut oil this is so rich yeah even if you don't have the coconut flavor just that like oil just i love the texture of it guys like uh coconut water yes that's different i don't care for it really if you ever go to hawaii or any other place that will serve you like a coconut that just fell off a tree, they'll be like, coconut water is so pure. You can do blood transfusions with it if you don't have any blood.

And it's total bullshit. I think it's delicious and it's just as hydrating, if not more so, than water. And there's this one brand that they sell at the health food stores. It's like organic coconut water. It comes in a white bottle with a green coconut on it. And it's pink. The water is pink. Because if you leave coconut water, like pure coconut water out, it eventually turns pink.

And it is the most delicious shit out there. I want to get it by the case. I think it tastes totally different than the actual pulp that's in a Samoa cookie. I think Matthew might like coconut water distinct from the Samoas. What say you, Matthew? I haven't had pink coconut water before. It's not like drinking a coconut smoothie.

It's just it's water. Listen, I'll try anything. I ate that. The cookie is outstanding. Yeah, I couldn't help but notice that cookie you hated. You ate the whole thing after the first bite well i ate it in two bites and i was trying to give it another chance the cookie itself is phenomenal okay the caramel delicious chocolate always there for careful now i don't get the coconut ice can't get past it oh oh you got an email thanks joe's computer it's been it's been seven years of us pretending to be friends and joe still hasn't figured out how

to turn off the window sound on his computer it's incredible it's amazing the system sounds are there it is completely and purely random it's's the most truly random thing that I've ever seen. Do you have it muted in your volume mixer? Yes. Well, no, no. No, no, okay. But what I'm saying is random is I mute it in my mixer, and eight out of ten times, I would say, when I turn on the computer, it's muted.

Oh, it's muted? Yeah, it's muted. And then every once in a while, when I don't check it, it just unmutes itself. Like, why? Wow. Sorry. Well, it ended that coconut discussion. It did.

It killed it out literally a weird but familiar note a frustratingly familiar note yes i thought that was going to be the moment when we all came together but uh instead it drove us further apart i don't think i know too many people who would say i would huh i i I'm trying to figure out how to say this I think that if you ranked All Girl Scout cookies The highest on average would most likely Be Thin Mints I think that they would be

Like the highest average picked cookie But I don't know almost anyone That says they're their singular favorite Cookie because they're just so They're a brilliant creator I know a lot of Thin Mint one people i number one it was unusual to be in a room with four other adults that love samoa's number one that was what was so exciting yeah i just figured i'd be in a i'm always feel like i'm in a room of thin mint people really as i'm like why don't

you just like leave the toothpaste open let it drool out over your sink and then leave it overnight scrape it up there you go you got your homemade thin mints thin mints are the number one selling cookie that said we can and i were once we once went down the same rabbit hole mirror like i wonder how people rank these cookies like we and we assumed every list we found we found would have thin mints as number one and we found one with Samoa as number one. And we were like, what? Blasphemy. Blasphemy against the Thin Mint.

They're also... Rise, mint lovers. They're also known as Caramel Delights in other parts of the country. We got to think of the whole area. That's how I knew them growing up. And you say that... And you said Caramel incorrectly. So we have both now. Because my nieces sell Caramel Delights. And I knew them growing up. And you say that. And you said caramel incorrectly. So we have both now because my nieces sell caramel delights and I sell, I sell.

My daughter sells Samoas. So now we have both boxes. Well, the boxes are different shapes, different size. It's my, all right. So I start digging in. The cookies are different size, slightly different. Really? This is an entirely different recipe.

I bite into it. It is a different cookie what worse better worse i think less coconut it's a matthew type caramel delight has less coconut yeah it's it feels to me like it's a little less coconutty uh and a little bit more easing toward the other flavors of the of the samoa i can't believe that they're doing this shrinkflation slowly changing the size of the cookie over time. Shrinkflation. So you don't know what's there.

Now I want a cookie. Well, you have an open box right next to you. You guys talk. I was really debating that. I'm sorry I broke my fast. Because I made up. I'm going to pull back the curtain a little bit, if I might. Here we go.

It's pie day today. Oh, it's i'm gonna pull back the curtain a little bit if i might here we go it's pie day today oh it's pie day so last night i made my first ever pie with caitlin's uh very uh caitlin and mera's supervision did you make the crust yes wow i mean but i i made my fit my my my one of my favorite pies coconut pie nope surprisingly enough a key lime pie it was only a graham cracker crust but i did make it that's amazing you made it from scratch yeah well i mean i didn't make the graham crackers yeah those i were able to wheat yourself and mill the sugar okay were you able to track down actual key limes? No I looked Did you close your eyes and think that Ernest Hemingway was sitting right next to you while you took a bite? That could have gotten way darker Massaging your shoulder while you're hanging

Grabbing the shotgun Eat it You have to let it sit in the refrigerator So I haven't, so I haven't had to let it sit in the refrigerator so I haven't tried it yet. So today on pie day was going to be the first time I ever ate a pie

of my own. You don't have to coerce Matthew at gunpoint unless it's coconut, Troy. Why is the ghost of Ernest Hemingway

pointing a shotgun? I'll tell you a story in four words. Eat the cookie, asshole. See, a better ending to that story. That's really funny. That's good. I think a better ending to that story that's really funny that's good i think a better ending to that story matthew would have been like and here is that pie everyone

yeah joy skid once brought in uh half a dozen pies from a pie stand yeah that's true yeah this uh centerville pie company up in centerville, Massachusetts. The official pie company of the Glass Cannon podcast. Yes, of Oprah Winfrey and of the Glass Cannon podcast. I could maybe finish it off by adding a graham cracker crust related story. Oh, please.

Tangential graham cracker. Tangential graham, John. Ghost pepper related. No, there are no ghost peppers in this story. People keep asking that for that story i can't tell you in soon anyway uh the traditional graham cracker crust pie that you can just go by there's that but over christmas i was making one of my favorites we call them santa snacks it's basically like a uh what do you call them seven layer not dip

seven layer cookie whatever it's at a van on a ritz cracker. Whatever it is. It is a... It's to get all those kids that single night. It is a spectacular fucking cookie. And it's basically a graham cracker crust with chocolate chips, coconut, caramel, a little bit of sweetened condensed milk. What's that? Is it a milk bar thing? Yeah, it's like a bar. It's delicious.

So I wanted to make that. And I go to the supermarket. You didn't get what you were asking.'re asking that's okay what milk bar it's it's a the momofuku milk bar here in new york he doesn't know what that is it's i don't know what that is they're great oh my god yeah you just treat yourself you should i get caitlin the birthday cake now every year that's amazing yeah best best cookies and you gotta then you gotta go wash that down with a little fuku fried chicken sandwich keeping the family he's got a whole chain of just delicious stuff anyway yeah sorry the ramen is amazing yeah ramen's great too yeah anyway i go to the

supermarket and my wife has on the list graham cracker crumbs so not like a crust but the crumbs to make your own because you got to shape it yourself it's not just a pie crust and i'm in the baking aisle and I'm looking all over the place and I don't see this shit anywhere. And I'm like, ah, maybe it's in another aisle. I don't know. I figured it would be here. This old woman walks by and she's looking and doing her thing. And then she sees me just standing there looking around and she's like, what are you

looking for, honey? And I'm like, I'm looking for graham cracker crumbs to to you know to make graham cracker crust and she's like just buy a crust and i said it's not for a pie it's this cookie thing and she just stops and looks at me and i'm telling you the disdain was palpable she was just like just crush up graham yeah and she just walked away and i felt so small and so stupid and also kind of embarrassed like I can't even do my own work like I like why didn't anybody crush my graham crackers for me like I have money you know like you can't bother to take the time at Christmas to crush your own graham crackers? You need someone to do that for you too, yuppie?

I felt like such a piece of shit. Do they sell them pre-crushed? Aaron really seemed to think so. And then I got home and I was like, I don't think this exists, this thing that you put on the list. She's like, I think it does. I think I've seen it before. Literally, most bags, if you open

them up, they're already crushed. Yeah, they're usually crushed anyway. You don't have to do that much work. Yeah, you can buy the crumbs. Really? You can. Wow. Boy, Honeymaid realized that.

They were sitting on a goldmine. They're like, here's what we're going to do. Take all the rejects and just bag them. Right. Oh, yeah. And then sell them as graham cracker crumbs. And sell them to the unsuspecting yuppies. Break out the dustpan.

Look at that. You probably get less graham crackers than what you get in the bag and uh it's more expensive guaranteed i understand like i hate like chopping onions and garlic and stuff so i would do that like pre-chop but like a pre-crushed graham cracker it just seems you just do this yeah that's exactly what she said like she was like you just smash a graham cracker? It just seems... You just do this. Yeah, just... That's exactly what she said. Like, she was like, you just smash a graham cracker. Yeah.

Pro tip if you're making a key lime pie that Caitlin taught me last night. Oh, here comes the expert. It's on the... Here comes the pie expert. Make one pie. One pie. You guys want to know.

Pro tip from a pro. He knows his stuff. Just get out the food processor. You crush your crumbs and then you add your melted butter. You make the mixture. All right, King Richard with the food processor. You crush your crumbs and then you add your melted butter. You make the mixture. Alright, King Richard with your food processor. In all my minutes of pie making.

Let me throw out a pro tip for you. In all my minutes. Storied minutes of pie making. Which King Richard am I? The one with the food processor, Matthew. Read a book sometime. Am I King Richard the Lionheart? I'm a corner they own

i guess serena and venus williams's father exactly famous lazy pie maker i bet he actually does have a food processor though so that actually would be he probably does now wait serena williams dad or king no there was a there was a member i've lost track there are we there was court gaster and then there was a guy named bart who was the court food processor and he would just do it by hand so he owned like a human at the time that king richard and an appliance bart the food processor sing me the ballad of bart the food processor part of the line i'm just trying to think if the williams sisters grew up having to crush their own graham crackers now. That's where I am.

He probably made them do it. Yeah, it's like training. Haven't you seen the movie? Out in the backyard. The whole first act. It's just them crushing. Before you hit a ball, you must learn to crush the graham crackers. It's like crush those serves.

It's like a karate thing. It's secret to their serves. They just throw a graham cracker at you? Yeah, just hold it in your hand. Dad, let me use a ball. You're not ready yet. Mother's making a pie. Stop asking stupid questions.

Oh, my God. And then the first act break, they take that first ball and just crush it. 100 miles per hour serve. And he's just sitting in the crowd, nodding. Oh, sir. And he's just sitting in the crowd, nodding. Oh, God. Can't we just do this for an hour? No, we should talk about the elephant in the room

from last week's episode. Thank you for the Samoa, by the way. You're welcome. I expect one back next week. And don't you be giving me a thin mint. Would you care for a thin mint? Get out of here! Put it in the freezer, I'll eat it.

I've been thinking about this all week and nervous about it because of the implications. Obviously, when Umlo was murdered or re-murdered... Re-murdered. Re-murdered. Nestor left with the hand. And when Nestor came back, no one ever really brought it up. You know, and it's funny because I noticed that the listeners

noticed, but you guys just it kind of with so many things going on in the campaign that maybe it's something you thought about, but you just never brought it up. of with so many things going on the campaign it maybe is something you thought about but you just never brought it up there was so much else going on with nestor's return um and so skit and i had talked about it a couple times and uh but never i never really asked him like hey where did that go again like he told me a couple of things where it may have went and whatnot but when that happened at the end of last week It just it really felt like we're at a TV series that is coming to an end with all these old things coming back.

So I want to just jump right in to this situation here, because this is this is complicated on a number of levels, because this is obviously an ancient dwarven hero. Nestor is evil and a complicated, complicated character. And he's now done this in order to wield a better weapon. There's still blood all over his wrist, where this thing is like just fusing to his hand. There's blood all over the plate of Nalbur that he used as the chopping board, and

Metra, Sir Will, and Baron are just standing by, watching. What do you do? Cast maze on Nestor. Smite evil. Fuck. He's, uh, I'm just like,

I'm like grabbing my hand by the wrist and just like flexing it like Luke Skywalker just after getting his prosthetic, you know? Yeah, it's tapping. Ow! Ow! It's just, uh, and you can hear it like the crink of the metal is like, like creaks, like open and. Ow, ow. It's just, uh... And you can hear, like, the crink of the metal.

It's like, like, creaks, like, open and shut. This fist. It's like... Ooh. I will admit that stung a bit. But, uh... Yeah. It was a long time coming.

I think... I think... I think it should pay off in the long run, eh? Why now? You've had it since you did what you did. You already faced the judgment of the gods

for your past deeds. But this was one loose thread that never got tied up. Why now? For your past deeds. But this was one. Loose thread. That never got tied up. Why now? Just saving it, you know. So close to the end. I just...

I don't want this bastard to get away. Why didn't you, uh, try it on earlier? You're not one to shy away from power. Were you scared? Scared of mangling up your own hand like that? Looks at the discarded hand next to him. Maybe he's still twitching with like a little bit of a pulse right by his foot.

Gross. He looks him in the eyes and says, do I look frightened to you? No. You look a little crazy though. Well, maybe it's going to take a bit of madness to finish the job. You might be grateful for it.

You might all thank me in the end. Old Nesta do what not everyone's always willing to do. We need to go that extra mile to make sure the job gets done. That's why you put up with me, isn't it? I guess I'll do what your little

outdated moralities won't allow you. I don't feel limited at all, Nesta. I feel as if I could take on anything with the power of Iomide behind me. I look at that hand, and I see something that was once wielded with honor. I wonder if it may have more of an effect on you than you have on it.

Well, I appreciate your concern, and I'm glad you don't feel limited despite your size and everything else it's obvious we need that too like it takes all kinds i'm gonna need a bit of diversity in this group to be able to take care of business in the end. And that's... I'm just here. I'm just filling in a role. Is this... fun for you, Nestor? You laugh. Yeah. Yeah, a little bit.

I feel stronger, actually. I didn't think that would happen. I knew it would allow me to hold this thing that kicks up the gigantic bow at his feet kicks it up into his into his hand it's just like oh would you feel that look at that like it was nothing this must look more like an english longbow a traditional english longbow like size like almost your height like a samurai yeah like he can't even like you'd have to do it like sideways he can't it is the steel hand pulled back the string or hold the or hold the bow um which hand did you use i i was thinking right hand so so it would be the one that pulled back the string right yeah yeah that's cool because that's what that's it would be the one that pulled back the string, right? If you were right-handed. Yeah, yeah. That's cool.

Because that's what would take the strength of the bow. Yeah. Maitreya is quietly spell-crafting the hand, because she's never seen it before. Oh, you've never seen it before? No idea what it is or what it does. She has no idea where it came from. God, talk about...

I mean, that was so long ago. Beginning of book two, going into Nargrim's tomb, where Ingrid Hill died and Umlo decided to stay. Nargrim's steel hand is a magically animated prosthetic hand sculpted down to the finest detail

forged from solid steel. It can't be worn in addition to a hand, so you have to chop off your hand to use it. And once the hand is bonded to the wearer's wrist, the wearer gains full control over the hand as if it were a part of their own body. Full range of motion, normal hand. While worn, Nargrim's steel hand grants its wearer a plus two enhancement bonus to strength,

a plus five bonus to CMD against disarm attempts. In addition, the wearer can wield weapons of one size category larger than the wearer's size without penalty and without altering the weapon's designation as a light one-handed or two-handed weapon for example a medium creature wearing norgum steel hand could wield a large long spear as a two-handed weapon without penalty however whenever the wearer of the hand is within line of sight of a creature with the giant subtype he must succeed as a dc-15 will save or be a creature with the giant subtype, he must succeed as a DC-15 will save or be compelled to attack the giant as suggestion. Oh, I forgot about

that part. I did too. Once bonded to a wearer, Nargrim's steel hand cannot be removed except by the wearer or after the wearer's death. So where this is a gargantuan weapon, he still takes a penalty. And Skid and I were talking about this before we were recording because he still takes a penalty and skin and i were talking about this before we

were recording because he can wield a large weapon uh no problem but then huge gargantuan anyways we've done all the calculations on hero lab um and i think it's the the main thing he's getting from it is the strength bonus and the damage dice is different so what type of damage are you doing now so now so it's a net minus one to hit for me based on with with its bonus and and the loss for the size mitigated by the hand but where whereas before i was doing 1d8 plus 1d6 damage. Now I'm doing 4d6 damage plus my bonus. That's an upgrade. It's a solid upgrade. I think back

to the moment we had to decide who was going to take the hand and there was a great deal of kind of no one really wanting to step into it and I was thinking there was reasons both metagaming, gaming, and character-wise, why I didn't take it and why Baron didn't take it, which was kind of the natural fit within the party as a dwarven kind of person looking up.

I talked a lot about wanting a tomb like that one day or wanting to be remembered like that one day. And at the time, from a meta-commentary standpoint, everyone was giving me shit all the time about going in on every item roll, getting all the best items, all that. So I was discouraged from that standpoint. Looking back on it now as Baron, I think Baron liked the idea of Umlo taking it because it seemed like something that could make the weakest person adventuring with us stronger. And I think he still feels that way he also doesn't like i don't know if he knew this at the time of taking it but the idea of being compelled to attack a giant and not being able to make his own decision as like a lawman as someone who always needs to

mete out justice without being compelled either way is another reason um but he's thinking about umlo and how that hand made him even weaker and baron's thinking i didn't need that hand um i was already strong enough and he has this world view where it's like to keep people who are pure of heart and wanting to do the right thing adventuring down this path and he sees nestor who is strong enough on his own in a lot of ways but still just like never having enough power like he sees the same thing that maybe is in the giant's mind like mirrored here and it's part of why nestor is kind of the perfect it's immovable force unstoppable uh object uh or however you say that uh kind of thing

with the final battle of nester versus whoever we're seeing so yeah and i i don't like nester he's the kind of guy that just he wants to leave when it comes to killing he wants to leave as little chance as he possibly can and now as we're approaching what he suspects is the final battle against his ultimate foe, like the guy he's been chasing for a while now, Tytarian, that he just wants to use every single advantage that he has at his disposal for that final fight. Your characterization of not leaving anything to chance, I think, is degrees of profundity above what is on the surface level, because your archetype is Zarni

Executioner, right? Executioners, when they're executing, leave nothing to chance, basically, right? They're there, and they're doing a service against a helpless person, and so it's almost like the more helpless your prey is, do you

think that that changes like nester's satisfaction of a kill or just he feels like he's more powerful and deft and capable the more powerful he gets no i think he just loves he just loves taking lives like he he just loves taking life away from other people and things and anything that lets him do that more effectively more efficiently at least especially now like towards the end like he was he was like not really it wasn't he didn't think it was worth like mutilating himself this is sense of self-perfection that he wouldn't he wouldn't do it but like now it's the the one kind of drive like sort of outweighed the other

as we get closer to the end so i always wondered and that was my one reservation joe when you decided to have lork leave because because I always, as I read ahead, I knew I was like, this would be perfect for Lork. Do you think he would have taken it had he stayed? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but he would have died with it on, and it would have been on to the next person. Because he just, he could not be, he could not be rebuilt for proper i mean it's so hard you have to be jimmer from the start from the jump to be built to just like stand and bang with giants orfos would have been

awesome with that too so would you yeah orfos would have been orfos and jimmer would both be great yeah orfos was tanky enough to stand toe-to-toe with blood rager yeah he needs magic in order to do it and would be exhausted at a certain point but yeah it's really and i think that was the other thing that stopped us all from it is it was a melee based kind of advantage for the most part outside of being able to wheel jam weapons and i think everyone was like i didn't want to take it because i was like i don't think this will benefit me as much as the person who can use a spear or a sword or something well i just didn't want to cut my hand off but i it would have been great on sir will it still would be great yeah

and i thought about it at the time and i said it at the time i made an impassioned speech because narratively i thought umlo the dwarf should take it and join us that's why i made that speech and i said if memory serves like and if you don't do it i'll do it like i'll cut my arm off right now and do it because having a full-size spear as part of these charges or lance uh would work really well he's always been a melee character really you know yeah and the villain you fought in there his name is escaping me. Trivia question. Lockmore Eddergun. Damn! Nice! Bottle cap. He wielded a spear.

A large spear. So the perfect like if you kill him, you get a better weapon. That's what Umlaut was using. Yeah. Remember those days? Who wants to play Umlaut today? Wasn't the spear magical too? Lork used it too. Heart... Oh yeah. Heart spit. Yeah. Heart spit. a spear magical too lork used it too uh heart oh yeah heart heart heart spit yeah

oh my god the old days i forgot about the uh the will save though maybe it's low enough now that nester's not really going to be bothered by it but i mean also like what giant is he gonna be like no yeah i'm not gonna attack this yeah that's inside these he's not uh it does it doesn't bother me because i'm never gonna suffer another giant to live as long as i live don't let him back to uh what happens if you're confronted with four giants do you roll a will save against each of them and then you have to attack when you fail or can you just at at that point, just like, I'm going to attack all four.

That's interesting. That's interesting, right? What's more interesting is like, if it's a giant along with other things, and you fail, you can only attack the giant. Right. But yeah, multiple giants, I'm not sure. And then do you attack the one that you have

the lowest will save against? Right. Do you have multiple? Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah. I think it has four separate wolf saves for each giant um we'll see how it plays out well so lockmore eddergun's story though was that he went into that tomb and like tried to get the hand for himself but got trapped why was he down there like i'm trying to think of the the didn't he steal it? He betrayed Nargrim Steelhand, and they locked him in there as a punishment to die.

And something happened to him. Was he like a lich or something? No, I can't remember exactly what happened to him, but he stabbed Nargrim in the back. Right. We saw the tapestry or the The bas-relief of kind of the betrayal Right and he basically

He claimed that He killed the giant Yeah I remember that But it was him that actually So he was heralded as a hero But then his crime was found out And so they buried him alive With Nargrim

And something happened in the tomb that Gave him this power But then his crime was found out, and so they buried him alive with Nargrim. And something happened in the tomb that gave him this power. An undeadness. Oh, there he is. Matthew found a picture of him. Oh, Torag. Lockmore's punishment for his brutal acts of blasphemy and murder so offended Torag that the god of the forge cursed Lockmore with immortality, condemning him to eternal imprisonment in Nargrim's tomb. So it was Torag himself. So this isn't written in there in the text of Nargrim Steelhand, but Torag watches this kind of sacred relic. And Torag is probably squirming in the forge father right now seeing it go on to to nester but at the same time the plans of the

gods are inscrutable and difficult to ascertain at any time so who knows if it's the right or the wrong decision now that's what i love about it yeah i also uh just thinking about nester's sense of self-perfection and not wanting to mar his form that it reminds me of nick lowe's old boss like i've told i think i've told this story before but nick lowe's old boss we were one of his old editors was that we used to go to his house to like um he had to pool so we go over there in the summers in jersey and um but he had this amazing collection first of all he has this incredible collection of comics in his basement you know this is like tons of stuff but he also had a bunch of

art and one of them was an original giant sketch of victor von doom that jack kirby had done for him and it was a picture of victor von doom with his mask off, like holding it in his hand. And I think when you think of what Victor Von Doom looks like under the mask, everyone thinks Darth Vader is just burned beyond recognition, like really gruesome. But in Jack Kirby's interpretation, he just has a single scar under his eye. And I was just like, what is that? I've never seen him that way and

he's like when jack kirby's mind that one tiny imperfection was enough for him to want to hide his face away from the world forever and like that's kind of like how i see nester too but like at this point the the desire to enact revenge outweighs that need to preserve his body like that. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, and you see in that picture of Lockmore what it must look like, like the way it fuses, like the steel and the skin just start to flow together in a way where it's imperceptible, where the end of your wrist used to be. Well, you have taken down yet another one of Volstis' generals.

It sounds from Nalbia's parting words that Nalber and Volstis were at odds at one point, and Volstis won that battle and cowed Nalbur into joining him. Who knows if there was still enmity there between the two of them, but Nalbur is now defeated. One more victim of the murderous TrueNav4.

That is a long body count. That is a long body count. It's a long body count. So many people. Seven years straight killing. Some innocence. I just want to say that Sir Will internally is, he's thinking about his time with Adriel during this, you know, a dwarf that was unlike any he had met before

and who had seemingly such a long view of things, which Sir Will had been for such a large part of his life, like such a short view, right, an immediate view. Become a hero now, do something wonderful now, do something great now. become a hero now do something wonderful now do something great now and Adriel had this way of seeing having prophecy right like the long terms and he's seeing this hand get fused on and of course he he pictures Umlo and how much he cared for Umlo and he's dealt with all those emotions with Nestor and Umlo and obviously he's been adventuring with Nestor for a while so it doesn't change that too much, but he's thinking now,

which is why he's asking, like, are you having fun? Do you like this? Because he's, like, assuming that we're going to defeat Volstis. And then he's like, but then what comes after that? And if it's Baron and nestor duking something out whatever it is uh and even if it's not that nestor is going to have this hand on him forever and he doesn't think he realized like sir will doesn't think nestor realizes that uh how is this going to change his life forever this like one moment And he's just thinking like every choice you make matters.

It matters in the longterm. And it's just something that he, he picked up from Adriel, you know, I think it's, it makes me think of Mickey Mantle strangely because Mickey Mantle, famous baseball player, for those who don't know,

uh, he's a famous baseball player matthew he's a huge baseball fan baseball is the sport i can actually converse with you right he knows baseball so but he grew he came from a line basically of men like in oklahoma who died very young like they died they all died in their 50s and so he always lived his life assuming that he would die really early too so it's just like he just caroused and drank a lot like ruined his liver and all this stuff because he never expected to live very long and I think that's kind of how Nestor sees things too almost like Roy batty too you know it's like the candle burning

so so bright and but not very long that's kind of how he sees his life too he just knows that it's it's the odds are like it's a limited proposition so he he he knows that this can't be undone but he figures it's not going to be for long either way i remember dating a woman once and i really liked her i was a mess but this was like really was was a mess did you catch the one i was the best at all better now i didn't know luckily i'm 100% now. But I thought things were great, and I didn't know what I wanted out of it. But I remember she said, like, our relationship is like a candle that burns too fast.

And I was like, wait a minute, so you think this is going to end at some point? I hadn't considered that. I also hadn't considered we'd be together forever. But when you said that it like immediately changed the way that I thought of her and thought of the relationship. A self-fulfilling prophecy. Yeah. They call that. When she said it, I was like, oh, so that's how you see this. Okay.

Interesting. And then I killed her. With this music. And I bury her in Riverside Park. That's a nice spot yes every year i leave a candle and i watch it burn and i say does it burn too fast now i was just picturing that i was picturing the end of that conversation being her saying we're like a candle that burns too fast and you you saying, you think this isn't going to last forever? And her being like, dear God, no. And just like laughing in your face.

And the expression in her face, I think it's going to end tonight. Why don't we take a walk through Riverside? It's lovely this time of night. It's 3.30 in January. 3.30 a.m. Let me just stop at this time of night. It's 3.30 in January. 3.30 a.m. Let me just stop at this Candlemaker shop. They use human tallow. What's a Candlemaker called?

We learned this in Psycho Side Sesh. I know, I wanted to use that word and I can't remember. Tallowarian? A Tallowarian. And I would say, too, just to wrap up sir will's thoughts that baron feels a similar bit of disgust but he's just bottling it up deeper and uh has kind of already made the self-bargain with himself of like this is this is the power of nester this is the power we need to finish this fight we're in a e epping flying castle that could rain down terror

and destroy like any city in the world. And that is his main goal, is to stop that. And the next steps after that Sir Will are worried about are just being put to the side and buried. Oh, I forget about that.

You know, as we near the end of this series, I'm thinking about, oh, I got to plan this, I got to plan this, what's going to happen to this, that. Then I think about like, say you and baron and nester survives how do you just say all right have a nice life is that how it's gonna be or is the prophecies are not prophecies but the words that you guys shared in the arena there uh true now going to be like only one of you is gonna walk away from the i'm glad i don't have to

yeah we'll see that's that's again that's like something so far in the future there's so many it's not that far i mean as far as far as like so many different things could happen that wouldn't that would negate like having that choice so yeah it might not be that far in the future but it's like how far in the future you know when from now to the end of my life like that seems you know right exactly when you're dealing with such monstrous horrific battles day after day after day it's like each day is like an eternity it could be your whole life is the next 12 hours like yeah chandler chandler chandler yes chandler bing chris chandler former colts and atlanta falcons quarterback chandler that's a candle maker if you're lost that thread it was a chandler in the wind

uh okay so you guys feel good about this situation here? Anything else you want to do in this area of the castle? All that that guy had on him was the plus four composite longbow ring of animal friendship, which harm animal and two potions of cure serious. Is that right? Was there anything else we didn't spell badge? Oh, wait, I see a huge magical. I see i see badge with did we fail you failed the badge again yeah so we we know the gargantuan magical huge magical chain shirt okay that's all i have for my notes so here are your options

there is a staircase at the end of the hallway here which is where Nalbia appeared before she once again took off that leads up to the area directly above where this battle took place which you know is like a

half platform with poles leading down to the nests. Then there is also another turret all the way to the east. Like, you came up the stairs and went southwest to get to where the nests are. Had you gone directly east,

there's another turret there. Beyond that, the only other options that you've discovered, according to my notes here, are the room with the telescope and the exposed walkway leading deeper into the castle. And the staircase leading up from where you defeated the fire giants in that throne room. I really want to check that out, but I also recognize it might be a big situation. Here's the thing. That's the case from here to the end. Everything's a big situation.

A bit of a situation. everything's a big situation a bit of a situation did metra ever check or did anyone ever check the platform above us in this tower here i don't think so but you can fly right now yeah i was gonna say uh if if that's if not the nester like he's going to just kind of like after testing his hand with the bow he's left-handed by the way um and uh he's going to just just sort of like rise up above above the floor and move out like to the furthest edge of the tower like where the opening into the open air is and then go up just so we can see if there's anything on that ledge above. Okay, I'll take you to a new map. New map time. New map time for me and my map-y friends.

So you see this little half situation. I did a polygon reveal here, but you can see down below as well as down the end where that spiral staircase is that you could have easily walked up instead of showing off with your flying wouldn't it be funny if there was just a guy standing up on the platform and just like one shot you yeah after that whole after that whole episode of role playing about the steel hand

and that's just this is dead body just falls in front of us yeah it's like falls out of the castle so falls in front of us. It falls out of the castle. So the floor of this chamber is little more than a ledge that leaves half of the room open to the rock stable

below. There are hooks that no longer have saddles on them, a weapon rack and you also see a padlocked chest. Ooh. Do I indeed? You sure do. And there are those two steel poles extending down

from the ledge to the room below. Okay. Nestor is Alright, he's gonna to do a perception check just for any hazards that he doesn't see right now. Perception. That is a

34 41 against traps. Yeah, you're looking at the rack. There are four gargantuan spears, several gargantuan javelins, a few throwing rocks, and then other equipment and supplies needed for aerial

riding, but you don't see any hazards or enemies. Alright. Uh, I'm going to float over towards the padlock chest. Okay.

Your hand weighing you down as you do. Yeah. You're listening to the left. Was it left hand or right hand? I think it's right, yeah, right hand, and then he draws with the left. Okay, so it's the one that holds this gargantuan, so basically a tree. Yeah that makes sense because you'd want the dexterity for like the fletching touching

yeah you want your natural sensations in your hand to be able to pick those out float over to the chest see a big old padlock on it all right and i'm gonna do another trap check okay uh oh that is good for traps that is that is a oh i'm sorry this is 41 uh regular perception 48 traps uh it doesn't appear to be trapped okay i'm going to try to pick the lock. Good luck. Oh, man. This is going to be hard, I bet. Where's my disabled device?

I could disintegrate the lock for you. Oh, okay. Let me try my hand at this. 45. Ka-dink. Yeah, buddy! I mean, couldn't have a better person up there right now. 45 Yeah I mean couldn't have a better person up there right now Doing this And

Lift up the lid You see a bag Of assorted gems Oh 320 platinum Pieces 7430 gold pieces. Wow.

Wow. Damn. A compass. Oh, okay. And a heavy steel shield. Interesting. Okay. So, yeah, he's going to pull them out in in the sack he can't carry all this stuff he's

gonna pocket like a few of the gems and um some coins but he's gonna say uh look out below and he's gonna kick the sack over down to the ground below baron's holding the bag of holding and just going back and forth laterally catches it into the abyss that's inside of it it hits the ground and you immediately detect magic I dive into the

bag of holding after all of it and return with the compass and the shield you come out with the compass and the shield give me a spellcraft check natural three sir will Baron in the shield you come out with the compass in the shield give me a spellcraft check uh natural three oh sir will baron i i can do it i'll try uh i probably don't know with my crappy spellcraft uh that is an 18 18 um that is good enough that good enough. The compass is something known as a wind collar compass. This light gray compass made of fine metal

is engraved with various depictions of the sun, moon, and clouds. It allows a creature to increase or decrease the intensity of the wind four times per day as if using altar winds. Ooh, that's pretty cool. The, um... Is it a slot or is it something you just hold? I think it's

something you hold and activate, like standard action. You pull it out. You have to pull it out and use it. And then the shield is a medium plus one improved energy resistance fire heavy steel shield.

That's a shield for fighting dragons. Yeah, it is. It's a dragon fighting shield if you ever heard one. Do you use a shield, Sir Will? I do. I do. I use a light steel shield. This would slow you down but it's better but it's too big right it's too big that's medium it's too big small there has never been a

small item written in any pre-written adventure in uh in pathfinder so it's usually incumbent upon a gm to uh think about that ever that's all right. There just happens to be a small shield. Oh, that's amazing. Taped to the back of this. With the exact same properties. Do you turn it over? Did you do a perception check? Knowing no one can

use it, she just tosses it off the back. Throws it out of the air. Throws it out of the castle. Oh, that would be awesome though to have like i'm just picturing the fire resistance like while mounted just up just like an extra magical aura on the outside that makes the flames tilt away yeah so cool yeah give me that steel hat he goes after nester you're standing there by the chest. You threw everything down. And down that long hallway leading to the staircase, you hear something. And emerging from the shadows of this long hallway, you hear a very familiar voice.

It says, well, well, well, look who we have here. Oh. And coming out of the darkness, you see your father, Alistair Coyne. And he towers over you, just like he did when you were a child. And he has that same shit-eating grin on his face, like he did your whole life, until you stabbed him to death. And he stares at you and he says, coin by name but not coin by nature it appears

got your fancy new hand there I see and no real coin would be leaving a trail of piss behind him around this whole castle even running scared from what I've seen then again Around this whole castle. You've been running scared. From what I've seen.

Then again. That's what you've been doing your whole life. Haven't you? You walk around the world. With your chest puffed out. Acting like you're some holy knight. Immune to fear. But you're the most scared little boy in all of Galarian, ain't you? You were scared even when you put me down. I could see it, and that was my last

memory before the lights went out. Look at you. You've been running your whole life. Look at you. You've been running your whole life. You got no friends. You got no family. You got no one who loves you. Why do you think that is, son? I'll tell you why.

It's because you're afraid of letting anyone get close to you. Because if they do, they'll realize how worthless you really are. And now you're in a floating fucking castle, chasing down a giant, fighting someone else's battle. What say you, boy? Dad? Dad? It's true. It's true.

I've never known a real friend. It's lonely. It's lonely, Dan. Sometimes I think I can't go on. But whenever I despair, whenever I feel like I can't go on, I reach back to the memory of plunging my dagger into your back over and over and over again. And it brings a smile to my face, a twinkle to my eye.

You taught me. You taught me that I'm the only friend that I'll ever need, that I'll ever be able to count on. I was glad for that. It's one thing you did leave me. One gift you gave. That self-reliance. And for everything else that you gave me, I took

your life. I think it's a fair exchange, don't you? Yeah. I guess you're right I guess I was a shit father too focused on doing my own thing

to take care of you well I'm glad I'm back to see you once more so I can take care of you. Because Worshpers sent me to take care of you. And you see this image of your father change into a brawny, large creature with its skin completely flayed from its body with violent, pulsing muscles exposed. And it goes to attack. What? And we'll see you next week.

What? That was an episode? Oh, my God. That's some fucked up. Oh, God. Messed up. Messed up. I love you, son.

Wow. You get to kill him twice. Yeah, I'm going to kill him again. Daddy's so nice that I kill him twice. Yeah, I'm going to kill him again. Daddy's so nice that I killed him twice. Thanks for listening to the Glass Cannon Network. For more podcasts and live streams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. And for exclusive shows and content you can't find anywhere else, subscribe today at patreon.com slash glass cannon. The glass cannon podcast is a glass cannon network production and is an

officially licensed partner of Paizo incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015. Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder adventure path are trademarks of Paizo. All Pathfinder images are property of Paizo and are used with permission.