The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 325 - Rain of Terror

Episode Date: May 10, 2022

At long last, high above Ironcloud Keep, the heroes face Volstus the Storm Tyrant in a battle to save the world. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official... member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Embrace something new at Starbucks. Introducing the Ice Lavender Cream Oat Matcha Tea Latte. A creamy drink where smooth matcha meets subtle floral notes. From our airy lavender cream cold foam. Only this spring, only at Starbucks. Ice Lavender Cream Oat Matcha Tea Latte includes dairy. Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way?
Starting point is 00:00:26 Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that... That's right! Did you know it's also covered by most private insurance plans?
Starting point is 00:00:42 Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. Jimmer, you are hit by a violet ray, and you just see Jimmer disappear!
Starting point is 00:01:21 As the Naga's foul magic forced an interplanar rescue mission. Wish it, want it, do it. You guys appear back in the room. Only allowed because you burned two limited wishes. The paladin's justice was righteous and final. Sir Will just takes this small longsword and just right up under her neck where her face is, just, and it comes out the top of her head. And she just... And it comes out the top of her head.
Starting point is 00:01:43 And she just... But as the castle in the clouds crumbled around the party... Somewhere above in the clouds, a whooshing sound like... Followed by a large object flying out of the clouds directly towards you. And just... It hits the ground in front of you. Oh, come on. The storm tyrant introduced himself to the giant slayers.
Starting point is 00:02:12 And it's the severed head of a dragon. Oh! Detached nerves and entrails dangling from its neck. Oh. It's the head of Noxymara. Oh, come on! The adventure continues.
Starting point is 00:02:27 My reign has just begun, and your blood march ends now! Now. It may be a little premature for me to say this, but damn it, I'm going to say it anyway. We're going long. Skid! Oh! Manny's not ready at all. Hey! We're going long.
Starting point is 00:03:22 We're going long. So do your lines, because we're going long. We're going long. wow that has to be well yeah it's obviously the first time it's ever been played in the first three minutes of an episode i think it's even been two minutes no we never knew but ahead of time right is this what happened when Fonzie jumped the shark? Is that the penultimate episode? We're getting out early before we jumped the shark. The shark known as Ashbeak. Am I right?
Starting point is 00:03:54 Am I right? Hey! I don't even know what that means. Book five. It means book five, we jumped the shark. We jumped the shark in the first 15 episodes of the show. No, we didn't but then you killed it the river isque the river isque was fucking cold uh you know i i it's funny we were
Starting point is 00:04:11 joking how that drop is on like the longest drop that we have the longest drop appropriately when we finished last week's episode we all had an email in our inbox from nick who made another uh another drop for us a hastily put together drop that we'll play with only two episodes left yeah ready and probably too late but so why don't we why don't we give this one up we'll call it okay yeah it's for nick here we go this is sight unseen, ears unheard. That was like a Reverend Al Green joint. That was like soulful and like sexy. It was nice and tight too.
Starting point is 00:05:00 And did it in his car. I wonder what that extra texture was. That's where the traffic noise is coming from that's not in the mix that's not what's intentionally put in there that was thank you nick thank you thank you nick what was his first drop for us was it roll work a roll nerdish nerdish yeah that's the first one He's got some splainin' to do It is time for Nerd Edge With a third drop played, this has now officially become a clip show.
Starting point is 00:05:31 It is. Hey, remember that time we fought Rensselaer? And then we cut to Rensselaer. I do have one other thing before we get into this. Please. By multiple requests, including the fine people who came to my little mini meetup in Denver when I was there at the Tabletop Tap in Inglewood. A little plug for them.
Starting point is 00:05:48 Love those guys. They hooked me up and I drank for free all night. Beautiful. Big fans. So, Philip K. Dick. Big facts. Little known fact. This is amazing.
Starting point is 00:06:02 We didn't do any of these for 300 episodes he he drove a buick supreme a 1956 buick supreme uh when he first moved to berkeley that he called the interdimensional traveler okay that has been philip k dick facts oh my god i just looked at what a 56 buick supreme looks like and it does look like an interdimensional travel there you go is that is that what metro drove to pick up jimmer last episode i borrowed philip k dick's buick supreme looks like and it does look like an interdimensional travel there you go is that what is that what metro drove to pick up jimmer last episode i borrowed philip k dicks buick wow that's right i can pick it from the shadow now i i should i should uh qualify that fact by saying that i made it up oh i think you are i think you did that before with Philip K. Dick facts
Starting point is 00:06:45 That's in the tradition of Dick facts They're facts about Philip K. Dick that Skid makes up Right Most of them Which is Dick-ish So Dick facts is kind of appropriate Dick-ish facts Also, does anyone really tell the true facts about their own dick?
Starting point is 00:07:01 Exactly Wow Do you make them up in advance keep talking before it starts i made that up on the spot i'm actually surprised that there is a car called the buick supreme wow so you didn't even know there was a buick supreme when you started riffing and raffing shocked good for you and very pleased big facts are back you know what we'll do it for one more week and then we're going to retire them again for 300 episodes oh actually also it's not a buick it's a cutlass supreme i'll say cutlass supreme uh before but while we're on i'm on the topic of that meetup uh i did i want to
Starting point is 00:07:32 thank again uh evan and bailey uh who were there and bailey is uh she's an anthropologist who works at the denver science and museum of science Nature. And she gave me a wonderful behind the scenes tour of their collections. I got to see all kinds of really cool stuff, like in the basement of the museum that I grew up by. And I had a phenomenal time. So thank you for everyone who came, but especially Evan and Bailey.
Starting point is 00:07:58 Boy, if you need a way to Skid's heart, be a basement tour of a science and history museum. I had to have been her most enthusiastic tour guest of all time. Best, best day of my life. It's fucking awesome. I was only a little high. I hope today will be the second best day of your life.
Starting point is 00:08:18 This is it. This is it. I can't see it being good. You're like, the second we say it, you're like, I am predicting this is going to rank up there
Starting point is 00:08:28 with Skid's worst days of his life. That's my prediction. Yeah. Yeah, that part won't be fair. I think, though,
Starting point is 00:08:35 I think talking to Grant a little bit, I think we might have some surprises in store for old Mr. LaVallee, though. You think so? I think it could,
Starting point is 00:08:42 possibly. Well, I sent him my character sheet he demanded by the way our character sheets before this encounter did you send yours grant you didn't send you i sent mine as late as possible i got the first time he asked for i asked a month and a half ago and he sent it yesterday the first time he did ask for it i did come down with covet that day and my whole life changed but um no but i did have the caveat which is that i keep most of my magic items and everything in my google docs so he's got some stuff that i keep wands in there i keep
Starting point is 00:09:12 all the scrolls so he didn't follow the rules right he doesn't follow the rules of the game no because i write down items as i hear them i transcribe the list of 30 things he'll tell us because it's the only way to keep track of them and then i don't have time later to go into hero lab and go cross reference to an atom so well did i send you my character you did you did yeah how did i make that mistake well it's not really a mistake it's part of the game but it's actually the way you're supposed to play the game decided to exercise here at the end and some of you followed the rules. Some of you gamed the system. But it doesn't matter. After this, none of it matters.
Starting point is 00:09:52 After today? After today. I just think that... All right, so it's official. So next episode is just Fallout. Come on. This episode is a whole other bag of dicks. This is its own thing.
Starting point is 00:10:07 And this is sort of the... Oh, I know what it is. I know what next episode is. I don't think you do. I think I do. I think I do. But I think you know what this is. I do know what this is.
Starting point is 00:10:17 And I can't believe this is happening right now. I can remember us starting this and thinking like we're never going to do that we're never going to make it to the end i never have to prep that and now this is it this is it this is it how do you guys feel nervous scared happy pee pantsy i think that i would be confident uh confident is the word i'd use if we weren't so debilitated right now um and we could be way worse off uh but uh i have taken a lot of damage i'm very down and um i can't take hits that i could have taken otherwise if i was full and lexington is hurt very badly and these things are adding up to me to be like oh this is auspicious just because i feel
Starting point is 00:11:06 like the tank i feel like i have to stay up you know what i mean and i do the healing so like if i go down that's it yeah in terms of healing so like you know it just worries me what about you guys have you ever looked at a uh hourglass a sand hourglass when you turn it upside down and watch it from the beginning to the very end and uh i used to do this a lot at my dad's office he had one in his office when i was a kid and you begin to understand what irrevocable means the sand can't go back up unless you turn it over again yeah i'm seeing the last couple grains of sand through that and thinking about some of the other day asked uh on twitter i think i've tagged a bunch of like, when are you guys going to do old game Who This? And I wanted to write back, just listen to Giant Slayer in 10 years.
Starting point is 00:11:49 And that's what this is. This is the, before we know it, we'll all be dead. But at least we had this time together. And it was fun, gentlemen. It was fun. And it's fun to everyone else listening out there. It's been a blast to talk to you all about it and to be a part of your lives. You know, at the Talk Nerdy Town Hall, the new thing we did on Patreon, I said, and I'd never voiced this before out loud, that the story of the Glass Cannon podcast is not about Baron and Lark and Metra and Jimmer and Galabra.
Starting point is 00:12:23 It's about the five of us. It's our adventure, I think, in a way. And now our adventure is coming to a close and we'll all be dead in four hours. That was part of the deal. Wait, after all of this, it turns out that it is a satanic ritual? Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:12:44 I have in my bag a it. After all of this, it turns out that it is a satanic ritual. No, I have in my bag, a bomb. I thought you got a group on, on a five for one kind of euthanasia at a local vet. And we're just all going to head there and go out together. So romantic. How do you feel, Matthew?
Starting point is 00:13:01 I am a little worried. Yeah. Now that I know you have a bomb, I'd be nervous too. No? I am a little worried. Yeah. Now that I know you have a bomb. I'd be nervous, too. No, I'm a little worried. I felt like we were off our game last episode. I felt like we weren't quite able to deal with the enemy in a manner befitting a party of our experience. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:21 I mean, if there's any consolation, I was really on my game. And so I don't think it was so much that you were off your game i just i was well prepared we had some bad luck too yeah bad luck but it's like it's like getting to the super bowl and having a really hard afc or nfc championship game yeah you barely stumbled through after being like having a really good run through the playoffs in the regular season. That's what it feels like right now. It's classic. Broncos, 1996 against the New York Jets. Mile-high stadium. Terrible game. High winds.
Starting point is 00:13:52 Yeah. And you'd be shocked. It's like Jets are terrible. Vinci Testaverde, quarterbacking the other team. You figured you'd walk away with that win. It's a very difficult win. It's not a sure thing. And yet, the next two weeks later against the atlanta falcons
Starting point is 00:14:06 we all know what happened i think a hundred percent of our listeners know what happened matthew isn't sure if the falcons or broncos one matthew's not sure if the falcons are a football that's not true that is a big sports fan but i don't know what happened in the 96 that was 90 was 90 97 98 99 actually but it was 98 tell him what happened wait is that john elway still john it was john elway final final game i did watch that game cannot tell you the result was that was that a big was that a big was that year the big migraine risk year for the running back? No, he missed a quarter and a half due to a migraine onset by a hit to the head in Super Bowl 32 in San Diego against the Green Bay Packers. And then after a quarter and a half, they sent him right back out there. That's right. Get in there, fella. You're back out there. That's right. Get in there, fella.
Starting point is 00:15:05 You're a football player. That's right. He came back. First play, first offensive play of the second half, fumbled the ball. Everyone on the Green Bay side was like, he's done. He's done. Came back, set a record for winning in Super Bowls with one. Tom Brady's still trying to break that record.
Starting point is 00:15:23 That's right. Can't win more than one in a shot. I i had to google the results of that game thank you all very much it was a really good game the sports analogy i think is appropriate i've been thinking about this all week like i was telling grant before we started recording that like i used to watch ufc pay-per-views like religiously and i'd go to this shitty little bar in astoria that i loved called cans cans oh can't go to calia and and you you could pay 20 bucks to get it or 10 with a z yeah cans yeah i think you're underselling it as like a shitty little place which sounds like it might have charm cans was a trashy yeah joint exploitive trashy gross bridge and tunnel yeah it sounds like a strip club it is it's it not. It is a strip club.
Starting point is 00:16:05 It's not. I'm so confused right now. Oh, that's where he got super sick. We used to go there for football all the time. They had 300 beers. I got super sick on Twisted Ice Teas there one day for football. They always had a Twisted Tea special. My wife and I still joke,
Starting point is 00:16:22 like, you want to get twisted? Because it was like Sunday at 11 a a.m the first kickoff week and they spun a wheel and the specials were whatever the wheel came and it was like two for one 24 ounce twisted ice tea that was like we'll take 19 that was like robert griffith the third's like debut game where he like he's like 100 yards rushing and 320 yards passing outside of advertising for greece at ufc uh pay-per-views and manny pacquiao fights on their instagram page they also love advertising sloppy saturdays exactly well i used to go to the tail end of sloppy saturdays uh to watch ufc and you could pay 10 bucks at the door or you could show up a little
Starting point is 00:17:04 earlier and just sit at the bar and they wouldn't know and you wouldn pay 10 bucks at the door or you could show up a little earlier and just sit at the bar and they wouldn't know and you wouldn't have to pay like I would do because I don't get a seat at the bar but there were times when I was like way into it I was like I don't want to go to the bar tonight and this but like maybe I could order the pay-per-view it's like 80 bucks and the reason you were nervous about paying 80 bucks for a UFC pay-per-view is when it gets to the main event that fight might be over in 20 seconds when a guy catches a left hook so that's my concern about this episode there there is a world with the power level of both my people and your people people oh well let's see what happens well we had to know it wasn't going to be a let's slip
Starting point is 00:17:42 a one person there was a chance this could come very, very quickly. And I don't want that. I'm rooting for you guys. I'd like you to win. I'd still like somebody to die. But I just want to see a good. I want to see a good. Why do you want people to die?
Starting point is 00:17:54 Because I think it's more dramatic. I think it's more dramatic for an epic story. The heroes don't all survive. I'm sorry, but I can't go any further until we know two things. OK. One, who won the Super Bowl? And two, is Cans a strip any further until we know two things. Okay. One, who won the Super Bowl? And two, is Cans a strip club or not?
Starting point is 00:18:09 It's not. They didn't have to get a strip club license, but it's filled with people that go to strip clubs. That's true. That's a good description. It was Astoria's only sports bar. It was called Cans because it was kind of like a play on Hooters. Now, I've never been to Hooters. Exactly. I would never go to Hooters, but like everyone went to Cans.
Starting point is 00:18:27 I think you might have a better... It's a play on Hooters. I would never go to Hooters. I went to Cans every week. It was Hooters. It was the only sports bar in Astoria. If you wanted to watch sports, they had 50 fucking TVs. It was great.
Starting point is 00:18:39 Yeah, they knew how to do it. And they had 300 beers. Like 90 of them on tap. All right, you're sounding a little defensive right now, LaValle. I just really like Gans, and I miss it. That's fine. Let me answer your other question. In this game, the night before, the morning of this game.
Starting point is 00:18:56 Settle in. I woke up. The year before, the previous Super Bowl. I'm going to pee. We keep going back. In Super Bowl XXXII, the Broncos had faced the Green Bay Packers. They're 13-and-a-half point underdogs. The AFC had lost 13 straight Super Bowls.
Starting point is 00:19:12 Everyone assumed that they were going to lose, too. The Broncos were responsible for most of those losses. And one of the things that happened on the sidelines was the pro-ball safety, Eugene Robinson. This was captured on NFL films. There were the Green Bay Packers had surprisingly fallen behind and he's on the sidelines trying to motivate his team. And he says, we are playing the Indianapolis Colts right now.
Starting point is 00:19:37 This team isn't better than us, not even good. And we're letting him win. We have to make a statement. He's like doing all this stuff. So it's like super insulting to the Broncos. Broncos ended up winning. Next year, Eugene Robinson had moved from the Green Bay Packers to the Atlanta Falcons. I woke up that morning to the news that Pro Bowl and the Humanitarian of the Year candidate,
Starting point is 00:19:57 Eugene Robinson, had been arrested the night before for solicitation of a prostitute. And I was like, this is the greatest news of my life. It felt like Christmas. of a prostitute. And I was like, this is the greatest news of my life. It felt like Christmas. He was burned
Starting point is 00:20:07 for like an 80-yard touchdown reception from Rod Smith. John Elway to Rod Smith. Oh, Rod Smith. I remember Rod Smith. Rod Smith easily could have won the MVP
Starting point is 00:20:15 in that game. Broncos won 34-19. And you guys are the Broncos in skits analogy. That's right. In which year? Both years.
Starting point is 00:20:24 Volstice is the Falcons. Volstice is the Falcons. In 1987 when we're here the the both yeah both this is the falcons right both this is the falcons in 1987 when we lost to the giants well no that's the broncos did they they played the giants like we're doing right now in 1937 and the giants won and the giants certainly won that one yep who will win this one i don't know know How do you feel, Skid? We wouldn't really check in We just got a lot of stories and analogies I feel great Skid, you're not shy about sharing your feelings
Starting point is 00:20:56 I'm still riding that Super Bowl high Just reliving all these memories You're in a good place Maybe I should just leave you alone 25 years ago I was just thinking I'm going to watch these on YouTube When I get home
Starting point is 00:21:06 You Have you played in any books Six Joe's That was the only one Christ Child's Eyes You played in Christ Child's Eyes
Starting point is 00:21:17 That's right Thank you by the way To the listener That made that cover The Adventure Path cover of the Christ Child dies is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Where did that come from? Was this a misspoke or something?
Starting point is 00:21:32 I couldn't remember the name of Council of Thieves, so he just called it Christ Child. That's what I always went to in my head. So you played in that, and you won. Did anybody die? Any PCs die? Nick's PC died not in that battle. No, he died. None of us died in that, and you won. Did anybody die? Any PCs die? Nick's PC died not in that battle. No, he died.
Starting point is 00:21:48 None of us died in that battle. Nobody died in the battle. Yeah, no one died in that battle. Yeah. Well, Joe was controlling the bad guys. That's true. This is the point I was wanting to make earlier when you say it's more dramatic for someone to die. The other things you're talking about where it's less dramatic when no one dies are scripted.
Starting point is 00:22:03 This is not scripted because you're die rolls. I know, I know. So if everyone survives, that's just as exciting. That's why it's more like sports than it is like traditional drama. Absolutely. I think it's just because traditionally these battles have ended in casualties. Now, that was not so in Ashpeak, which was your last big fight like this. That one went very well for us. Very well for you.
Starting point is 00:22:25 I could see you saying that it would be very disappointing if we rolled all natural 20s and you rolled all natural ones and we just smashed the encounter. That would be lame. I agree. But I don't think people need to die for it to have dramatic cred. Sure. That's all I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:22:43 But someone has to root for the bad guys and that's me uh but i certainly don't want to tpk you it's too complicated yeah that's why i'm so glad you came up with limited wish last week i'm like this is gonna get complicated so i don't want that to happen but like this is this is you This is, you might as well leave everything on the table here. This is it. And so, I think we do it. Okay. All right. Have you been saving some really amazing music? No.
Starting point is 00:23:22 We only have, like, so much music. There is a limit to what we've bought. Well, man, we know how last week went uh god i said if if if today could go half as well as last week i'd be i'd be psyched uh and i'm sure it will um but this is uh i don't have a drink here but if i did i would i would toast all of you uh maybe next week we'll have champagne for 326 have a hell of a battle it's been a fun ride uh thank you for thank you for playing cheers let's thank you for running us thanks for running for seven years yeah thanks for running a seven year campaign yeah i'll never do it again it's really nice of you thank you we appreciate it you're very welcome um you know what Let's just For the last time Roll for initiative
Starting point is 00:24:07 Oh my Oh shit So we really are Going round by round Like right out of the game We can roll We can roll We can roll
Starting point is 00:24:13 We can roll We can roll We can roll We can roll We can roll We can roll We can roll We can roll
Starting point is 00:24:14 We can roll We can roll We can roll We can roll We can roll We can roll We can roll We can roll
Starting point is 00:24:14 And I lied I do have new music for this I do It's just nothing particularly special It's just new I've got something a little different Because it is dreadful This whole thing is dreadful.
Starting point is 00:24:25 I also want to say I'm kicking this off with, and I think as long as it'll last, I'm going through the app with my original D20. The D20 I started Giant Slayer with that I have moved on from many, many times because I've had so many amazing die gifted to me. But for this, I'm going back. I wanted to bring Neon green and forgot it i rolled a natural 20 oh wow a natural 19 yeah all right a tale of two uh initiatives last week you got ate it so glad you're on fire yeah it's the ultimate. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was the blurst of
Starting point is 00:25:05 times. You stupid monkey. What did you roll, Joe? I wasn't listening. I rolled a 22. 22. And Metro, what's your total? 28. Not bad. Baron, what'd you roll? I rolled a Joe for a total of a 20. Wow. I hope you're
Starting point is 00:25:21 a plus 19. Plus 5. Joe's a 5. Oh, that's right. That's right. Jimmer. Jimmer Hardy rolled a natural 15 for a 19. Natural 15 for a 19. My God, look at this initiative tracker. This is it. You have that many creatures?
Starting point is 00:25:37 No, it's just... This is it. What is the over-under on Troy accidentally closing the initiative tracker and losing track of everyone's place in battle. I've saved it now three times. You can still bet on it, though, because I will do it. Okay. But I think I have backup plans. Good. I suppose
Starting point is 00:25:55 that I should take you to the map because things have changed. The terrain has changed? The terrain has changed. Okay. Oh, my God. What? Oh, my God. Half the building is gone.
Starting point is 00:26:09 What the? Oh, yeah, you said that last time. I want to see it on Matthew's screen. Oh, my gosh. Amazing. Thank you for just opening the fucking map. So there's no secret wall over there? Yeah, no, I wanted you to see open it up um
Starting point is 00:26:27 oh man you know i was thinking about we're gonna do a retrospective after this is over and it's gonna be streamed maybe i could just show you i'll keep all these maps loaded so you can see the wide view of all these yeah yeah i deleted all the other ones through the years but uh yeah this one's kind of special got the ash peak one i had like no less than 40 maps. Wow. Because all the different caverns had their own shitty map. All right.
Starting point is 00:26:52 By the way, let's not skip over that, because that would be a great thing to mention, since no one that listens to this show follows our social media. That's very true. We make them aware that if you listen to Giant Slayer and you want to come and hang for a Giant Slayer goodbye. When is that happening? May 19th? Is that right? Let's look at the old calendar.
Starting point is 00:27:10 That's when it's scheduled. It's scheduled for May. It's two days after this drops. Yeah, May 19th, live, 8 p.m. Eastern. It's two days after this drops. Yes, it is. It's two days after. No, it's two days after the finale.
Starting point is 00:27:21 The finale, the 26th. So just so you guys know, May 19th. Save the date. Save the... 8 o'clock Eastern time. Sorry, it's two days after the finale. The finale, the 26th. So just so you guys know, May 19th. Save the date. 8 o'clock Eastern Time. Sorry, Europe. But it'll replay probably the next day, right? Yeah, we'll replay it the next day. We already talked about this. We'll replay it the next day. We'll do this in lieu of Cannon Fodder.
Starting point is 00:27:36 Yeah, this will be in Cannon Fodder's time slot on Friday. Alright. Huge black cloud overhead. Rain pelting down. Sounds of winds and thunder and lightning. The sky completely open up. The castle is flying erratically. You can barely keep your grip on the ground as it rumbles beneath you. And as you stand there amidst the swirling winds and rain, you hear a sound.
Starting point is 00:28:03 Amidst the swirling winds and rain, you hear a sound. A sound ever so faint at first that starts to grow until the sound seems to intermingle with the natural sounds of the storm into a haunting melody like you would hear on a harp. Oh! Oh, shit! Oh, this is the best friend in the world!
Starting point is 00:28:29 Oh, God's penis. I'm so excited to see it. Just over to, I don't know, you guys are way now on the east side of the room because you slid all the way to the west, you slid all the way to the east,
Starting point is 00:28:43 you see appear just a manifestation of the ghost of you slid all the way to the west, you slid all the way to the east, you see appear just a manifestation of the ghost of Renfall. Oh, yes! Yes! Renfall! God himself has chosen us this day! And he like, he appears
Starting point is 00:29:00 and he's like hunched over like he doesn't look well. Remember last time you saw him, you needed his help to cure Sir Will's insanity and he's hunched over like he doesn't look well. Remember last time you saw him, you needed his help to cure Sir Will's insanity, and he used a lot of his power to do that. You didn't even think he would show up for this, but there he is, and he's just hunched over, but he very proudly tries to stand up and show dignity, and he just yells out to you over the rain.
Starting point is 00:29:22 He's like, The time has come! All of your battles will peril in comparison to this. Use your tank! I couldn't get through it. Like him just showing up at this moment and just yelling at us to do well. He's the cheerleader. It's the first time fucking Gene Hackman
Starting point is 00:29:48 in Hoosiers is showing up right at the right time. Can you please let him finish with, I love you guys. I love you guys! Measure the hoops and move on. It is the first time it's ever made sense with this storm happening, though. Every other time it's been in an empty room, and he's just been yelling at us!
Starting point is 00:30:03 It's true. In an empty room. He's standing there been, yeah! That's true. That's true. In an empty room. He's standing there, and the rain isn't affecting him because he's a ghost. But he's still... He's holding a ghost umbrella. He's got a ghost umbrella. It's raining on his plane of being as well. It's just a skeleton of an umbrella, so it's really useless on a number of levels.
Starting point is 00:30:23 And he's like, he looks up to the sky and he sees this black cloud overhead. And that's all you see. It just stretches out forever. And he's like, use this time! Use it before he emerges to prepare yourselves for the battle ahead! I will distract him
Starting point is 00:30:43 with what little strength I have left. Me and my beautiful harp, I will play a melody that will fuck him up. Do you understand? No. No. Well, I'll explain. What do you mean? I cannot rest! I cannot rest until Zephyr Hall is pried from his cold, dead hands!
Starting point is 00:31:17 But the future of the world below lies at your feet! May God, whatever gods you worship guide your weapons one way or another, Tartar. And he just locks eyes with Metra. Metra locks eyes back. This ends
Starting point is 00:31:40 today. And it is Metra's turn. Holy shit. Use this time before he emerges to prepare yourselves. Metra, you look around and you see
Starting point is 00:31:54 Lexington looks like the image of Lexington I had last week. Entrails open. Bloody Sir Will's a mess. I feel like Baron and Jimmer are in good shape. Let's just do a group buff check right now.
Starting point is 00:32:06 Baron, Jimmer, Metra still under the effects from protection from evil because that's minutes per level. Jimmer, it's 10 minutes, I think, per level for your Horn of Valor. So you're still enlarged, still have heroism, temporary hit points. I don't know. Oh, you have long shots still on? And protection from evil. Yeah, I said that. And my named bullet is still active. And named bullet. Yes.
Starting point is 00:32:32 And I'm still flying. And you... And I am flying. So, excuse me, Sir Will and Metra have flight cast on them. I would, yeah. Okay, and long shots, minutes per level, so you're good there. That's it, right? Now you burned some judgments, right? One
Starting point is 00:32:48 judgment. Okay. So I have three more. I have four total, so I'm totally fine. Okay. I'd love to cast a couple more things on myself, if you're saying this. No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm just getting a, taking a count here of what's going on. And now it's Metra's actual turn. Damn.
Starting point is 00:33:03 Damn. Almost had him on a take a count. Almost got me instead of a gun. Okay, Metra is's Metra's actual turn. Damn. Damn. Almost got me a set of a gun. Okay, Metra is going to cast Haste on the group. Very good idea. Yes! Classic Haste. Huge, huge. Gunk, gunk, gunk. AC bonus.
Starting point is 00:33:16 Will that stack with the bonus from Protection from Evil? Yes, there are different types because... It's the deflection bonus from Protection from Evil. Yeah. And what's Haste? Haste is a dodge bone The protection of evil bonus will most likely Be wiped out by everyone's
Starting point is 00:33:30 Ring of protection at this level Do you know what I mean like almost everyone Yes the deflection bonus is not really giving anyone A bonus to AC sure give me a bonus to AC Well that's because you don't know How to build a character Matthew Or I just lost maybe someday Take advice from your old friend
Starting point is 00:33:45 O'Brien on builds. Don't blame me. I voted for Kodos. And... Haste on the group. Haste on the group, and then I might want to move. I just want to check one thing. Check it before you wreck it.
Starting point is 00:34:02 You do have a scroll. Yes, I know. I's why I'm checking. All right, I'm going to stay very close. Well, this scroll... Am I hasted as well, Zaza? Yes. Yes, of course you are. Am I within range?
Starting point is 00:34:18 Yes. Wait. Why am I using your voice? You're 55 feet away. That's not within range, is it? Is it 30 feet? I can't remember, Sosmo. No two of which can be more than 30 feet apart.
Starting point is 00:34:30 Why would you lie in a time like this, shadow creature? I don't think I can use the scroll on anybody but me. You would have to. It would have to be on you, yeah. Oh, shit. It's a personal John? It's personal. It's a personal John. Yeah, yeah any spells here make sure we all when somebody says a spell let's all look
Starting point is 00:34:49 it up and look at the duration the casting time the target you have a umd i don't know and it would be such a it would be impossible for crap it's an eighth level sorcerer spell yeah it would be so hard to you it would be so fucking awesome it's a seven it's a seven dollar spell no so it's fine no no no this is giant form two and it is an eighth level yeah you you get we found a scroll giant form two but it's the range is personal so like classic so i figured haste was the most useful thing i could do in the month oh damn that sucks so i was pulled aside into multiple private conferences with other players before the session, and Grant really advocated for me using the
Starting point is 00:35:29 scroll of giant form 2 on Jimmer. Unfortunately, the range is personal. Would that have made him huge or gargantuan? Gargantuan, I think. Huge. It would have made him the same size as a cloud giant. We give him a plus 8 to strength. A storm giant.
Starting point is 00:35:45 It would have been phenomenal. It would have made him the same size as a cloud giant. We give him a plus eight to strength. Storm giant. Storm giant. Yeah, it would have been phenomenal. It would have been so awesome, but we can't do it. So, sorry, listeners. Yeah, that would have been really epic and cool, but... Metra is going to... But you are large. You still are a giant, but more like a hill giant.
Starting point is 00:36:04 Yeah. You still are a giant, but more like a hill giant. Yeah. Metra is going to fly up into the air and kind of circle south, making a triangle between the group, Renfall, and herself. As you fly up in the air, how high up do you go? Let's say 30 feet. Okay, so you just create some space between you and the group so you're not all bunched up, creating a triangle between Renfall which just looks like
Starting point is 00:36:26 a statue here on the map, and the rest of your party. Okay, there are a lot of things going on here. I'm trying to think what you would actually know and what you wouldn't. Here's what you know. The cloud above crackles
Starting point is 00:36:41 with thunder. Very loud, like ka-ka-ka-kong! like, definitely loud, in fact. Everybody roll a Fortitude save. Did you move more than 30 feet away from me? Do you not need healing? Oh, I do need healing. I won't move. I'll stay where I was.
Starting point is 00:37:02 I forgot we talked about that. Yeah, we talked about a channel, right? Huh. Uh, fortitude save? Yes. Oh, for fuck's sake, with a side of... Dick. I didn't say that.
Starting point is 00:37:21 Um, okay. Did everyone roll their fortitude save, including Lexington? Yes. Ugh, Joe. Fuck. Okay did everyone roll their Prototune save including Lexington Yes Joe Fuck Fuck Alright so Lexington got a 21 Sir Will got a 26 Metro also got a 26 Yeah 26 it's a natural fucking
Starting point is 00:37:41 3 that was a natural 16 for me 31 for Jimmer 35 for Baron Okay So none of you Are deaf From that Enormous crack of
Starting point is 00:37:57 Boom Let's see if Renfall Renfall is fine as well Okay There's just so many other things happening. I just want to make sure I got through everything. It is Sir Will's turn. Sir Willamette, this is our time. Okay, rally together.
Starting point is 00:38:20 Remember, if you're close to me, you may benefit from certain auras I have, but do what you must. I fear that we are already beaten. Not beaten. That's not the right word. I fear that we are already weakened. We must battle back. I am a day. Please help us. So inspiring. And he will...
Starting point is 00:38:40 Despair not, but we have already lost this fight. He will channel positive energy for everybody. Okay. Nice. What is that, 2d6 now at your level? You're a mean person inside. Okay, let's see.
Starting point is 00:38:59 Okay, not bad. Not too shab. 32 points of healing each. Oh, that's very nice. Yeah, so everybody take 32. Almost got back your damage from the collapse. Oh, the collapse. That is what really put me into, like...
Starting point is 00:39:13 The collapse is what put me into one hit from death territory. Oh, jeez. From a giant. From, like, I assume, a massive giant hit. Wow. Oh, man. How many hit points you got? I don't want to tell you.
Starting point is 00:39:27 Okay. I'm going to show it up for you. It's not that bad. It's not as bad as you think. I'm just assuming that this guy hits for monster damage. But that 32 was nice. How is everybody else doing, hit point-wise? About 10 down, but nothing bad.
Starting point is 00:39:43 I'm 10 down. I'll be 5 down After this round With the fast healing So Okay So no more So no more channels
Starting point is 00:39:50 So I get Yeah that's still That's just him right Or did No Everyone Wait is that Are you saying anything
Starting point is 00:39:55 That was rounds Is no longer active Rounds is no longer active Oh Then that is no longer active No particular form Okay Okay
Starting point is 00:40:03 Um And then And he's just gonna Yeah He moves Lexington Close to his allies No longer. No particular form. Okay. Okay. Um, and then, and he, he's just gonna, yeah, he moves Lexington close to his allies, but he's the front person facing this huge open broken part of the castle. So first it's Sir Will five feet behind him.
Starting point is 00:40:16 Baron five feet behind him. Jenner Jimmer 15 feet behind him. Metro. How cool is this map? Um, very cool. It's pretty cool. I had to make it.
Starting point is 00:40:24 Uh, yeah. It is pretty cool. I had to make it. Oh, really? Yeah. It is now Baron's turn. Baron Redheart, who has been around since episode one of the Glass Cannon podcast, now enters, perhaps, his last encounter. He looks to his left and right, and in front of him, he sees Sir Will in the vanguard. He sees Jimmer next to him, Large. He has to crane his neck upwards to see this enormous man. In front
Starting point is 00:40:49 of you, the banner is held high against the flashing lighting. The whipping banner. The red banner with the black wolf and griffin. The static electricity just leaving like Metra's cloak after she casts a spell and Renfall translucent in the corner and
Starting point is 00:41:05 Baron reaches out and says you're all here because you're the best at what you do and you're all here because your heart is stronger than that man could ever be now let's get up there and kick his fucking ass
Starting point is 00:41:20 yes sir yes and Lexington rears up on his hind legs Lightning cracks Fuckin' A This is it You see Baron for a moment On top of the broom of flying Have his feet touch the ground
Starting point is 00:41:38 As the power of Toreg even through this flying castle Reaches through the very stone And a little shimmer of stone goes across his entire body as he casts his final fourth level spell of the day, putting stone skin on himself. Oh, good move.
Starting point is 00:41:55 And he will swift action. Call down another judgment of Torek. Since you said the last battle ended, he will put on a judgment of sacred protection plus three and a judgment of sacred healing of four okay we'll give him fast healing four uh and does he get a sense can he move towards the direction that would you know get him closer to where the action is you don't know what's up there i don't know what's up there. I don't know what's up there. You would have to fly straight up.
Starting point is 00:42:28 Can I ask a question? Yeah. Volsus is not a cloud giant. He's a storm giant, right? As far as you know. We've seen him. We've seen him. But he was far away.
Starting point is 00:42:37 I don't think you guys rolled checks to know what he is. The rumor is that, yes, he is a storm giant. Can those of us who have the appropriate knowledges, when it's your turn, roll a check to see. Are storm giants immune to something like electricity, for example? They probably would at least have resistance to electricity, I would think. So that would be useful to know from my end. Sure. Chain lightning off the table.
Starting point is 00:42:58 Is there anything particularly that strikes Baron as an epiphany where a knowledge religion or anything like that could be rolled here, or knowledge dungeoneering or anything like that, no? The only knowledge religion you need right now is to pray. All right, Baron is going to use his move to get next to Metra without knowing what's going to happen next, because oftentimes we need to move very quickly by touching metra and without any more knowledge of how to get closer to something he thinks that's the smartest place to be yes you
Starting point is 00:43:30 did hear that sound is coming from up that's all you know above you and everything now is exposed the whole front end of this tower that you've climbed has been completely sheared off by the collapse of the tower and do we see i can't help but not think of video games here, like where a boss is up high. Do we see, like, a platform or anything else that we could teleport to or stand on or anything like that up there? You're as high as you can go now that the attic has crashed through the floor as well. Wow, that's so great! You just see, like, maybe in the distance you see other towers that you've been in, the roof below. But, yeah, you are Wow
Starting point is 00:44:06 You're out there I mean, it is the most I wish this could be a TV show It is the most epic possible battle One could imagine, I think, for a situation like this Wow, wow, wow Yeah Okay, it is Jimmer's turn
Starting point is 00:44:20 Jimmer, what would you like to do? I'm sorry I know your fast healing was helping you Whatever, whatever. I actually missed a die. So five more points to each of you of healing. Phenomenal. There is no fast healing, so that's good to know. Okay, great. Oh, that's right.
Starting point is 00:44:34 With particular form expended. No more fast healing. Alright, so Baron, you cut out there to the west to create a little distance between you and the party, moving in the direction of Renfall. It is Jimmer's turn. Jimmer, I think, well, first he has to make, if he can see Volstis, he has to make a save.
Starting point is 00:44:53 Right. And you do not see any giant. The only giant you see is Renfall. Okay. But I would imagine that doesn't work against allies. Yeah, it's a ghost. I'll kill you, Renfall! I'll kill you! I'll kill you, Red Bull! I'll kill you! I'll kill you, son of a bitch!
Starting point is 00:45:06 So I think he's pretty limited at this point as far as prep that he can do. So he does have a potion of Resist Cold. So he's just going to drink that. Okay. And what does that give you? Resist 10. Resist 10 cold permanently. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:22 Okay. And then, Baron, your Stoneskin gives you the same thing, like 170 points? No, because I am only 10 levels of Inquisitor, so it is 100 points of DR10. So every time you get hit, you check away 10 every single time. Yeah, if I'm hit for 10 or more points of damage, it'll take away 10. Chip away at that. Okay. Great.
Starting point is 00:45:42 Round two. I really got to keep track of these rounds. I'm not good at that. Now that I use this digital service. It is Metra's turn again. Is it? Mm-hmm. Okay.
Starting point is 00:45:55 Metra is going to step up to Sir Will. Actually, she's going to step up to Lexington. Oh. And cast Fly. There you go. On the cast Fly. There you go. On the magical wall. There you go. There you go, buddy!
Starting point is 00:46:10 Yes! Fly on old Lexi's midnight run. Finally, you'll be able to descend stairs. Yes. That's exactly what I was thinking. With ease! With ease. No more falling, collapsing down flights of stairs.
Starting point is 00:46:23 Why move, sorcerer? Take your rainfall. I like your song. Lexington and Sir Will, who's already flying, just like slowly lift off the ground a little bit. Lexington gets like his muscles tense up for a second. Sir Will's like, you can do this. I picture his legs going like he's doing a doggy paddle. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:46:46 You've done it before. Focus! I would say Renfall is providing mechanical... Pounds? Yeah, mechanical johns for you guys. So he's not there just for flavor. There's actually mechanical things going on that are helping you. What are you doing, Renfall? I'm distracting him with my
Starting point is 00:47:05 song! Okay. Thanks. What is the title? What do you call the song? Well, it's an oldie, but a goodie! Let me ask you, Paffling, are you
Starting point is 00:47:21 familiar with boys to men? I've never heard of them. Oh, they were Halfling, are you familiar with Boyz II Men? I've never heard of them. Oh, they were delightful back in the mid-90s. Rumor has it at the end of their concerts, they would get into a spaceship that would take them above the stage. The spaceship would then explode, and they would be gone. The Game Master saw that concept.
Starting point is 00:47:50 We truly did come to the end of the road as the song says. So that's what I'm playing. Yo, tell me what I want, what I really want. Tell me what you want, baby. Oh, that cuts the drama a little bit.
Starting point is 00:48:07 I prefer my version, but... Metro, you done your turn? Yes. Okay. If this was a fucking... If you want to be my lover, you have to get with my friends. You have to get with my friends.
Starting point is 00:48:22 You have to get with my friends! You have to get with my friends! You, uh... That would certainly distract me. It would distract him a lot, I would think. Baron and Metra, you look up. What does that mean? You look up at this dark cloud that seems to stretch the whole sky ahead of you,
Starting point is 00:48:47 and you see something, nay, someone emerge from the clouds. There! You point. Jimmer and Sir Will and Lexington do not see. But Baron and you see Nalbia. Yeah. Oh, right. Nalbia comes swooping down in flight. I forgot about Nalbia. Yeah. Oh, right. Nalbia comes swooping down
Starting point is 00:49:07 in flight. I forgot about Nalbia. And she has a scroll in her hand. Oh, no. And she reads from the scroll, and suddenly all of you, not Renfall, are enveloped in a thick, thick fog. You've been in obscuring mist.
Starting point is 00:49:23 You've been in darkness. Hell, you've been in deeper darkness. You've been in fog cloud. You have been in fog cloud. It feels like fog cloud. There are mechanical things going on right now that are similar to what happens when you're in a fog cloud. Troy, look. His earphones just fell off.
Starting point is 00:49:40 His earphones fell off. He was gesturing so wildly with his head while describing the fog cloud. Right next to somebody, 20% mischance. More than five feet away, 50% mischance. Typical fog cloud, right? No. This is called solid fog.
Starting point is 00:49:55 Solid fog is so thick that it impedes movement as well as obscuring sight. You move half your normal speed as long as you are in the fog and you take a minus two penalty on all melee attack and damage rolls. The vapors prevent effective ranged weapon attacks except for magic rays and the like. So no ranged
Starting point is 00:50:18 attacks while you're in here. You cannot five foot step while you're in here. Is it just difficult terrain? It doesn't. They don't use that nomenclature in the... So how do you move? What's the problem? Half speed. Half speed. So once you're out of it, you go back to whatever speed you have left. You move normal. Minus two to attack and
Starting point is 00:50:34 damage. No ranged attacks, except for magical rays and whatnot. And you can't five foot step. Radius? As I've placed it on there, 20. We see nothing on the map. You don't see anything on the map? No.
Starting point is 00:50:49 Who told you to put it on the bottom? There we go. So 20 feet. Yep. Pretty sweet. That's a pretty sweet solid fog, bro. Yeah, thank you. Can the area of effect things like this be dispelled uh yes yes
Starting point is 00:51:08 as we learned that episode oh yes darkness right the episode that shall not be named uh terrible episode so she terrible four episodes that actually was kind of fun. So yeah, she peeks out. Hello! Peeks her little head out of the darkness ahead and drops this cloud of solid fog on your ass. You also see her little bird companion floating about her head. Oh, that guy. And she used that like a thing that could attack people, right? Like it would fly out and...
Starting point is 00:51:43 Fly out and just be annoying. Like it whirlwinded around you. Like you figured you figured oh this must be some sort of air elemental remember like closed you in it's not you guys are reflexes are so strongly you never got caught up in it or took any damage but you can't do ranged attacks and you're like had to move out of there so it just slows you down it's annoying right now that bird uh is floating around her. She is about 80 feet up at this point. Okay, and that's what she does. And then Renfall continues playing Boyz II Men, End of the Road,
Starting point is 00:52:24 at least for his first song of this set. It's a medley, probably. It's a medley probably He's going to finish with a medley And then it comes to Sir Wills turn Oh excuse me all of a sudden the rain starts to get hot Oh no The rain starts to get hot and almost like You see it starting to sear the ground And you all just take one point of damage
Starting point is 00:52:40 Feels like acid rain It's starting to like eat away at the crumbling rock. Now it's Sir Will's turn. Oh man. This is tough stuff. Although we've come to the end of the road. Sir Will is going to swift action lay hands on himself and heal. Then he... Six points of healing?
Starting point is 00:53:07 How much? I'll roll it later. It's going to be a lot. Okay. Good for you. Good for you. Then he will cast Ironskin on himself. Nice work.
Starting point is 00:53:21 To buff his AC. It's like Colossus, like a tiny Colossus. And he almost feels protected for a moment in this cloud. He knows he can't see the threats anyway, so he's just like, but Lexington's getting jittery. He's like, it's okay. We'll wait for our moment. Calmness. Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:35 I love that. Tranquility. You get this, you turn, your skin turns into metal. Yeah, the stuff that you can see between the armor just starts to like thicken into almost stone like underneath and your face is like seeing this like mask as this like rain is like hissing as it hits your metal skin yeah yeah there's the mat what's the mask in in elden ring do you know the the one with like the it's just a metal mask that you wear you've seen that oh it kind of looks like a prisoner's mask yeah it's just really cool like imagine sir will like his face slowly like becoming metal this is fucking awesome uh
Starting point is 00:54:09 sweet anything else uh no that's it that's a swifty and a stand down uh well no he's not going to move out of the cloud he's going to stay in the relative protection of this cloud stay in the soup okay uh it is now baron's turn. Baron Redheart. Gosh. Just trying to figure out a play. I want them to fight us here, you know? Yeah. And up there is hard to get to. Does Jimmer have a way to move with us if we were to move away from him now?
Starting point is 00:54:38 Like, I want to find a way to draw the battle here, if that makes sense. Jeez. Here I come, dwarf! I believe, but he is wise. You must use your best tactics. And you think back to the Battle of Bloodmarch Hill and how green you all were in battle tactics and how many battles you've been through at this point,
Starting point is 00:55:01 but now you're dealing with an enemy you can't see, a storm, a castle falling apart. I don't envy you. All right, so it is difficult terrain in this area getting out of here. Effectively, but it's not technically difficult terrain if there are certain other things. I wonder if it's safer for us to be in here? Can we be targeted if we're in here? Not with ranged attacks.
Starting point is 00:55:22 Not with ranged attacks. But with magical attacks and we're facing off against a witch. She's a witch. She's a witch. This is so tough. Shades of Gormley herself flying above, raining down pain. 80 feet away, you said? Yeah, she's 80 feet away.
Starting point is 00:55:41 Okay, I'm going to reach down onto my bandolier And you're going to see another spell come out Magic weapon greater plus three on all of my ammunition Magic weapon greater plus three on all your ammo 50 up to 50 pieces of ammunition All have to be together at the same time So we just kind of One more thing just to be sure to get through While we're still waiting here Including the named bullet including the name bullet plus
Starting point is 00:56:09 three attack just damaged did you say um yeah it's it's plus one per four caster levels as many as 50 arrows bolts or bullets uh they lose the transmutation once they're fired so you can't pick up a shuriken or whatever and use it again and again as a plus whatever. Yeah, it's plus one enhancement bonus on attack and damage rolls. Okay, so plus three for all of those. Great, just keep that in mind when you roll. I will. And is that your turn?
Starting point is 00:56:39 Uh, yeah, I'm going to use the lack of, unless they can see through it, I'm going to use the line of sight protection that I am sensing I get from this fog and stay here so I can't be targeted by something. But I guess, yeah, and I'll stay where I am in case someone does like an area of effect thing and wants to get all of us. But the instinct in me is to be close to Metro in case Metro wanted to teleport us somewhere. But I'll stay where I am. Okay, great. It now goes to Jimmer.
Starting point is 00:57:06 Are you standing? Are you standing next to me? I can, if you'd like me to, he's far away. Well, the term before you said, I'm going to go stand next to Matt.
Starting point is 00:57:13 Yeah. And then why were you never in? You move next to will in order to cast fly on Lexington. So I can move back to you now to be next to you. I just never saw you move on the map. So I didn't know where you were. Oh, you might need to refresh.
Starting point is 00:57:28 Cause I did move to where you were and then you have moved away from me since if you have any ability to be within 10 feet of will i okay it might never come up but you get plus four to a series of saves i will move next to sir well if anybody casts spells on it which might not happen right now i'm sorry i moved myself on top of jimmer square so i will move okay i will move next to metrora within 10 feet of Sir Will. And just for the record, I did 24 points of healing. I ended up rolling. Okay. Great.
Starting point is 00:57:53 Now it is Jimmer's turn. Jimmer will hold. He's just, like, gripping his terminus est in his one metal hand. his terminus est and his one metal hand his shield strapped to his forearm and just thinks back to his all of his training all of the work that he's put in all of the practice the constant sparring he plants his feet as precisely as he's known how, even at his large size, readying his sword for whatever comes next. Great. Great.
Starting point is 00:58:29 Great. I can totally picture that. I still remember those Jimmer training montages when I was just practicing those little steps. Just practice, practice, practice. Did any of you guys move, or did the map get rearranged? I thought all of you were in the cloud. We're still all in the cloud. We are.
Starting point is 00:58:45 I think Roll20 is having some struggles right now. He's twitching a bit. Get a bit twitchy. Struglonies. Refresherino. Definitely doesn't like the size of these maps. Let me just... Yeah, that's the thing.
Starting point is 00:58:58 These massive maps. It's like, nope, nope, nope, nope. So we got some Roll20 strugs. That's your typical Roll Twent Strugs. Tank nugs with our Roll Twent Strugs. Oh, I'm so high right now. It is round three. And it is Metra's turn.
Starting point is 00:59:15 Metra, you are in a solid fog of soup. Solid soup fog. Solid soup. Okay, Metra is going to... Let's all take on a particulate form, shall we? Oh, that's a fun thing to do. You have a particulate set of skills. That's right.
Starting point is 00:59:34 Okay, great. And remind everybody, the listening audience, what that gives your allies, as well as yourself. As well as myself. We undergo a bizarre transformation. We look and function normally, but are comprised of countless particles that separate and reconnect to remain whole.
Starting point is 00:59:50 So we get fast healing three, and we are immune to bleed damage, critical hits, sneak attacks, and other forms of precision damage. And as a swift action, if you need to, you can dismiss the spell effect, and you can get 5d6 of healing. Right, which it may come down to that.
Starting point is 01:00:05 It may come down to like, we need it. Yep. Sorry, guys. It's going to keep so-and-so alive. Okay, very cool. Obviously, negating crits, huge. Huge. Huge.
Starting point is 01:00:16 Huge. Huge. You have to deal your damage the old-fashioned way. Okay, at that moment, the fog cloud that enveloped you disappears as the winds are so strong. The fog cloud goes away, but Nalbia smiles. It's all part of her plan. Whips out another scroll and casts an ice storm all over you. I don't believe
Starting point is 01:00:46 there's a save for this. There isn't. Bear and cast counterspell. Just kidding. You won't take the cold damage skid, but the rest of you will take... I'll take most of it, probably. Oh, well, it's only three points of cold damage. Oh, then I won't.
Starting point is 01:01:02 I also won't take the cold damage either. Oh! But then you'll all take eight points of bludgeoning damage. Ow! As magical hailstones pound down on the ground. It's an underrated
Starting point is 01:01:18 film, but it still hurts. Then she flies back up into the darkness out of sight. Baron also will not take that cold damage thanks to the ring of warming that he took off of a dead fire giant's body in Ashby. Look, I'm going to let you do whatever you want. Okay. Because it's your game. I appreciate it. I want you to have fun.
Starting point is 01:01:41 Okay. I mean, you got a scroll. You got to draw a scroll, which is a move action, to use a scroll. Is she casting from her jaw, like her mind? I was flavor saying she came down with a scroll in each hand. Okay. Yeah. So I cast it, the first one. It dissipates.
Starting point is 01:02:01 I cast the other one, and now she moves. You need your other hand for the jaw instead of the scroll. I'm just kidding. You know. All right. All right. I cast the other one and now she moves. You need your other hand for the jaw on the scroll. I'm just kidding. You know. Alright. Alright. I'm just saying. And the only reason I was saying is because of the moving back away again. The reason I didn't bring this up is it slows down the show. I know. But I just want to make sure that we're not. You said
Starting point is 01:02:18 off air. Make sure everything we're doing we are reading and re-reading. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. No but I have taken that into account. And so you know, if I pull out a third scroll now, obviously she doesn't have a third arm. You gave her a tail and you respec of her, right?
Starting point is 01:02:35 She's got a prehensile tail. Well, she could have drawn the other scroll with her now free hand, because the first scroll would have disintegrated on the move action to fly back down. Bam. At that moment. she flies back down drawing a third scroll. A third scroll comes out
Starting point is 01:02:51 from behind Baron's ear and she says Is this your scroll? Baron runs out of the room just totally surprised at this magic. Oh my god! We finally found out a way how to defeat the Shearer. Six bolts of lightning come down from out of the
Starting point is 01:03:09 clouds, striking every single one of you, including Renfall and including Lexington. Everybody roll a reflex save. Oh, dear. Yeah, man. He's really doing it now. He's just laying on HP damage. Unloading on us. Yeah. Reflex, you say? Re-flex. Re-flex. say? Reflex.
Starting point is 01:03:27 Reflex. Save, that is. How does a natural 18 work for you? What's the totes? That would be a 32. Okay, what about Sir Will and Lexington? 30 for Sir Willamette. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 01:03:43 21 for Lexington. Sorry, 22. Oh, okay. Such a dick. What about Barron? 29, not a good roll. Okay. Jimmer, net one.
Starting point is 01:03:55 Are you good? Jimmer's reflex is a lonely child, but I still rolled a 29. Wow. Okay, so you'll all take half damage unless you are immune to electricity. I'll roll these all separately. 10d6 coming at each of you. Halved. Metro gets hit for 21 points of damage.
Starting point is 01:04:15 I'm giving you the halved amount. That'll be 16 points of damage. Don't need your life story. Baron gets hit for 22 points of electricity damage dude this is gonna really cripple us we can't we can't do this i don't think the electricity uh i don't think your dr blocks that right it blocks everything unless it's adamantine dog no no no not energy damage glad i brought it up electric i didn't think counts as energy damage everything gets through dr except like things you get hit with physically Glad I brought it up. Electric, I didn't think, counts as energy damage. I think electric fire...
Starting point is 01:04:45 Everything gets through DR except things you get hit with physically. What about the ice? Magical ice. The bludgeoning is subject to DR. The cold damage goes through the DR. That's right. Okay. Did you take the cold?
Starting point is 01:04:58 Did you take that three points of cold, you son of a bitch? I have cold. He has the ring. All right, so you take 22 points of damage, and that goes straight through. ring Alright so you take 22 points of damage And that goes straight through Sir Will You take 20 points of damage Fuck Lexington takes
Starting point is 01:05:10 Only 15 Lexington Takes 0 Oh He has energy resistance 15 Cold resistance I'm sorry
Starting point is 01:05:17 Electricity resistance 15 As part of his celestial Oh phenomenal No he does not have Well he actually I think he does have evasion, so he would do it anyway. And Jimmer, you take 16 points of damage.
Starting point is 01:05:28 Okay. Okay, so... This is scaring the fucking shit out of me. Every one of these is terrifying. Like, this is it. Like, we're just... The hard stuff is yet to come, and it's just... It's softening us.
Starting point is 01:05:39 It's softening us up for what's... Ugh, this is awful. And we were already softened ahead of time, so I can't keep ahead of this HP damage on everybody. Yeah. Yeah, see, that's Baron. That's why when you said stone skin, I'm thinking to myself, I think the electricity is going to cut through. So that's 22 right at you,
Starting point is 01:05:52 but that will happen if this comes to fisticuffs, that 100 extra points. Oh, I hope it comes to fisticuffs. All right, let me just move through this. And now it is Sir Will's turn. Round three. This is where it starts getting hard. Do you guys want...
Starting point is 01:06:12 Do you want a saving throw buff, or do you want healing? Healing. Well... What kind of buff? Say all saves, or one save? One save, roll twice and take the better, whichever whichever you feel whatever save you want to do it on for the rest of the combat basically i feel like healing might actually be more so it's it's basically i can give you a bit of luck that'll last the rest of the encounter i think healing um but i just don't know if we should try to stay
Starting point is 01:06:41 ahead of this hp damage right probably stay ahead once, I think the hesitation is always doing a burst heal around enemies that are damaged, right? Yeah, I think pretty soon we're going to split up. But also, once we split up, I won't be able to give you this benefit on the other buff either. So, okay, let's just do it. That was my instinct, too. Channel positive energy. Channel's positive. Sweet.
Starting point is 01:07:03 Oh, yeah, I forgot to see how much Renfall got hit by. Renfall made his save and takes 17 points of damage. Okay. Three sixes. So 34. 34 hit points. Oh, that's glorious. I'm back
Starting point is 01:07:20 up to full. Luckily, Renfall is incorporeal, so I'll only take half again from that. Just slowly trying to work our way back up. This is brutal. Surely they have Ghostbane Dirge. It was Ghostbane Dirge on that lightning bolt. Sorry, how many points of healing, Joe?
Starting point is 01:07:36 34. Oh, great. Okay. And then... Show yourself, Cod! He's gonna ride forward. So he comes up 20 feet, putting himself about
Starting point is 01:07:52 20 feet, yeah, about 20 feet from the precipice of death. Well, they're flying, I'm sorry. So, uh, he will, he's just slightly off the ground. Yeah, he's just, he'll go up, he'll go up like 10 feet off the ground. And he's just standing up. He'll go up like ten feet. Okay. Off the ground.
Starting point is 01:08:06 And he's just standing there with the banner whipping in the cold and the wind, the rain smattering into his eyes. And he's just like, Show yourself! You are about to reap what you've sown! My Omaday has come. You say we have so styled ourselves heroes, but you couldn't be more wrong.
Starting point is 01:08:26 We are merely instruments. We are here to sacrifice ourselves on the altar of the small folk. Die if we must, but your war is over. I think sacrifice may have been too strong a word there, Sir Will. I'm going to die in a few rounds. Just wanted to get this out there first.
Starting point is 01:08:45 You want to negotiate differently. Open with a weaker and then... Okay, get this. God damn it. It is Baron's turn. Baron. Okay, so can no longer see Nalbia? No, Nalbia ducked back into the cloud.
Starting point is 01:09:03 So no targets available at this moment. no except renfall all right don't even think of it of attacking renfall oh god uh baron will flank out just behind sir will uh trying to draw him out as well come and get it it's sir fresh and hot out the oven um and we'll cast a weapon of awe on himself and that really won't do a ton for uh damage oh also um i think fast healing does not stack with each other so i am going to use a swift action to move my judgment of sacred healing four over to um judgment of purity to increase my saves right now um so that i still have the plus three fast healing from particulate form and i mean i could do can i do a perception check to see if
Starting point is 01:10:03 anything's coming down on us that I'm not quite seeing now? You can roll a knowledge local on storm giants. Excellent. I will do that. I have a plus nine in knowledge local. Okay. And let's see what I can get. A Joe for a 10.
Starting point is 01:10:19 Oh, no. It makes sense. You've never encountered them. You know, you just don't know. Knowledge local has never made sense as a skill in this game because you are not, you have local knowledge of every place you go to. No, I know, I know. You guys never did roll the Dungeoneering for the Naga, too.
Starting point is 01:10:38 She was an aberration. I don't think we have Dungeoneering in the party. No, we don't. That's the problem. That's the problem. One of the many reasons we missed Pembroke. We don't. That's the problem. That's the problem. One of the many reasons we missed Pembroke. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 01:10:50 Someone called her an aberration, though. We guessed that. Anyway. We guessed that because he said Dungeoneer. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:56 So. Um, and, uh, you know, that is, he's moved. He's cast a spell. Uh, Weapon of Awe as a reminder, since it's not something that gets cast much,
Starting point is 01:11:11 will have special effects if I am able to get a critical. So it's going to give me plus two sacred bonus on damage rolls and will shake the subject of a critical hit. So that's good. And that is Baron's's turn very good it is jimmer's turn end of round three jimmer is going to shout out to nalbia Hey You lackey You so afraid of the small folk You attack us in the clouds and the fog Come face me
Starting point is 01:11:55 Or forever remain a coward I'm going to antagonize Oh A mechanical John To make her come out And just fight Jimmer with no armor on. Yeah. So this is, the DC is 10 plus the target's hit dice plus their wisdom modifier. Okay.
Starting point is 01:12:17 10 plus her hit dice plus her wisdom modifier. My total roll is a 50. I need not do the math. All right, so... So you have to either come attack me. It's really like you could target me with a spell. Sure, sure, sure. Like something offensive, like against me.
Starting point is 01:12:37 You're the target for this next round. Okay. The creature flies into a rage. On its next turn, it must attempt a melee attack, make a ranged attack, target you with a spell, or include you in the area of a spell. Okay. Give what you wish for, Jimmy.
Starting point is 01:12:50 Well, it can still include you in the area, so... Everyone get away from Jimmy! Yeah, he's, like, waving with his shield arm at the rest of you to, like, get away from him. It's, like, right before a lightning bolt strikes and, like, the whole atmosphere changes around you, you can see it just a huge terminus ass to huge like his his intimidate is plus 33 so like unbelievable you can you can you can freak you out it's like tim burton's batman when the joker is like calling for the Batman. Yeah, yeah. Come on. Come on. He pulls out that long gun.
Starting point is 01:13:26 The 88 Magnum. The 88 Magnum. It's the top of round four. It is Metra's turn. Metra looks at Jimmer and is like, I hope you got a good idea. And then she reaches over and touches him, casts fly on Jimmer. Oh, yes. Oh, yes!
Starting point is 01:13:46 The last domino! And then Metro will take off. Get away. Get away from me. So everyone can fly now. Baron on the broom, Sir Will and Lexington both have Fly, Jimmer has Fly, and Metro has Fly.
Starting point is 01:14:01 Oh, good. I'm also happy now that in the penultimate episode we have symmetry with the way I first pointed out. You said room with broom. Room and broom. You know who else had fly? Gormley. Sorry. Sorry to bring it down.
Starting point is 01:14:17 Sorry to bring it down. We're good to that. Well, Jimmer, Nalbia flies out of the cloud. Oh, shit! Flies in your direction and
Starting point is 01:14:34 gets within 30 feet of you and tries to hex you. Give me a will save. Okay, come on, baby. Come on. Jammer. Norse foundry, don't let me down. Oh, Natty, 18.
Starting point is 01:14:56 Yes, Norse foundry! All right. Okay. Okay, I want to put her on the map here. All right. Okay. Okay. I want to put her on the map here. Let me just make sure I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. Is she greater in visibility? No.
Starting point is 01:15:13 So she's visible now. Okay. I just want to make sure that she's 30 feet away. Right now she's 40. Well, she's up in the air, so keep in mind, like, she's not right next to you, sir. Well, she's, like, you know what I mean? How far up? Because I'm 10 feet up.
Starting point is 01:15:29 Oh, well, then she's probably 20 feet away from you. But she's... Well, remember Pythagoras, so if she needs to be 30 feet away from Jimmer, she's actually much closer. So regardless of where she is, she's 30 feet away from Jimmer, so she's probably closer to 15, 10, 15 feet away from you. You have to move there to do at least an attack if that's what you choose to do. So I can't five foot step into it at full jaunt. Right.
Starting point is 01:15:54 Which needs a fly check now that you're flying. You know what, Grant? When I am like a dick about the rules, it's fine. But when you do it, it's just not fine. I know. I know.
Starting point is 01:16:10 I know. Oh! I love this! Well, I mean, I say that now. I'm just enjoying the last few moments before I am miserable. enjoying the last few moments before I am miserable. Coming out of the clouds. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Starting point is 01:16:33 A top what looks like eight or nine gargantuan red dragons. What? Mirror image, John. See, I gave you a jaw there, Joe, to help you out.
Starting point is 01:16:48 Thank you, Matt. I understood it much better when you said John. Is a giant with a titanic physique, a body tempered by years of fighting and hardships. He has a deep violet skin,
Starting point is 01:17:04 blue-black hair, and silver eyes that sparkle with arcs of electrical energy. And for the first time ever, I will show you what he looks like. Oh my god. Volstice on the map.
Starting point is 01:17:21 He looks like this. Oh, that is way less intimidating. This. See? We have a miniature. What? We have a mini? Somebody sent us... Where did that come from?
Starting point is 01:17:34 I think somebody gave it to me and I just... I can't remember. We get so much stuff. That's pretty accurate. Oh, it's the orb of dragon kind. It's like... Oh, it's so... It looks just like him. It's amazing. I think that might have been from Sharky, but I could be wrong.
Starting point is 01:17:49 Oh, Sharky. Did you spoil the last boss for us? Stranger things have happened. I never saw it, but, oh, he is felt. He looks like a purple Jason Momoa. Yes. Yes. Yeah, he's big, but not too big.
Starting point is 01:18:04 Not weirdly big. Yes. He's big, but not too big. Not weirdly big. And he's riding, like I said, eight dragons. Clearly some sort of mirror image. Is that a falchion? Or a kukri? It looks like a giant kukri. It looks like a falch. That's a falch. I can tell you right now, it's a falcata.
Starting point is 01:18:20 Oh, falcata. Falcata. Because people like to say falcata. I'll have the breakfast falcata. Oh, Falcata. Falcata. Because people like to say Falcata. I'll have the breakfast Falcata, please. They come flying out. They're hard to see. There's clearly like... All of them?
Starting point is 01:18:36 He's mirror-imaged, too? No, he's not mirror-imaged. The dragon is mirror-imaged. He's not mirror-imaged, but he looks fuzzy. Similar to the way that Linaratus looked. And the dragon just looks like... Oh, for poop's sake. They all look kind of fuzzy, so the dragon's all
Starting point is 01:18:49 fucked up as well. Metra, I need you to make one of him! Uh, okay. I need you to make love to him. First things, John. Oh, boy. The dragon is going to unleash a breath weapon that will affect everyone but Metra.
Starting point is 01:19:10 Nice, Metra. So Nalvia as well? Not Nalvia. Well, I mean, sure. Wow. Nicely done, Matthew. I mean, sure. No, he's going to angle it in such a way that it affects Renfall, Baron, Sir Will, and Chimmer.
Starting point is 01:19:29 I guess I should put him on the map in the correct way, but just something like that. You know what I mean? We're in the air here. I don't want to take an hour and a half to figure out exact placement, but trust me when I say he's able to do it in a way that only affects everybody but Metra. I just want to make sure. Yeah, I can't affect Metra because he's not even getting that close. He's keeping his distance while he lays this down.
Starting point is 01:19:53 Everybody give me a reflex save. I won't. No, not you. Poor Renfall will as well. That didn't sound good from Jimmer. 19. Baron? 29. 19. Baron? 29.
Starting point is 01:20:08 29 for Baron. What about Sir Will and Lexington? I think, sorry, I'm stalling because I'm sick to my stomach. All this damage, this is too much. Did you say it was fire? Uh-huh. I think I'm going to spend my bottle cap Oh I have a bottle cap
Starting point is 01:20:31 I've been holding for a while It's pretty useless in Giant Slayer now But it does exactly what it needs to do here Which is buff my reflex save Which is low Okay Just for me Not for Lexington
Starting point is 01:20:44 I'll have to deal with it it is the most powerful it has ever been at level 17 do we round up to nine or is it a plus eight on this i would take a roll twice over a plus 10 over a plus 20 sure i would take a roll twice i know i'm just saying uh but it is what it's half your level is that what it says plus eight okay rounding down plus i take this for Sir Will. For Sir Will. Yep. Natural three.
Starting point is 01:21:10 What's the total? Fucking. So that is. For those listening at home, Joe slipped down on the table so hard, he knocked out half the room's headphones. And we're back. I'm not kidding. And we're back. So what's the room's headphones. And we're back. I'm not kidding. And we're back.
Starting point is 01:21:26 So what's the total? 24. And Sir Will? I mean, and Lexington? I'm not doing fucking Lexington. Oh, that's great. Lexington got a 32. Nice.
Starting point is 01:21:36 Lexington and Baron passed. Jimmer and Sir Will failed. Fuck me! Fuck! I have had that fucking Dragon fucking thing around my neck For 250 episodes I've never once had breath spit at me
Starting point is 01:21:55 If I just make the save He takes zero damage Fail the save Take all Wait wait wait wait Actually Wait a minute I might get a buff
Starting point is 01:22:04 To his actual role On the reflex save That'd be awesome From this fucking thing God damn it Natural three Where is it Where is it
Starting point is 01:22:13 Dragon flow amulet Hurry In case you're curious I didn't know what a falcata was So I Wikipedia'd it And it was highly prized By the ancient general Hannibal Ah
Starting point is 01:22:23 And I Learn learned something today. Yeah. Nope. Fuck. You take no damage from a dragon's breath on a successful reflex save. That's it. I think that that just ended it. That one roll.
Starting point is 01:22:37 There it was. If you want to point back to when it happened. That's a huge swing. And I did a bottle cap. I could do no more. Book six. Final battle for all intents and purposes. 16 D10 damage.
Starting point is 01:22:56 Oh my god. Jimmer and Sir Will take 79 points of damage. Baron and Lexington take 40. Fire damage. God. Jesusington take 40 fire damage. God, Jesus fucking Christ. I'm going to round down on that to 39. That's fair. You can round down to 39. 39
Starting point is 01:23:13 to Lexington. He has evasion, I think. Lexington has evasion? I'm just going to assume he does. Here we go. Oh, he doesn't have evasion so yeah well it doesn't matter anyway it's over
Starting point is 01:23:32 what sir will said at the beginning battle's over uh sorry we lost uh okay how's everybody looking right now?
Starting point is 01:23:46 Hit point wise I'm about half down What does that mean you have left? 140 Remember you can dismiss Being immune to crits and sneak attack All that useful but you can dismiss it immediately As an immediate action and get
Starting point is 01:24:03 5d6 healing at any time. So if it gets dire... And that's all individual. Individuals could choose to do that. They could choose to do it whenever they want. Or not. Is it an action? It's a free action? I'm sorry, it's a swift action, not an immediate. It's a swift action. That ruins it.
Starting point is 01:24:22 Still, that's nice to get 5d6 unless you roll 5 ones. How is Sir Will doing on get 5v6 unless you roll 5 ones. How is Sir Will doing on hit points? Let's let the audience know. They really need to know the stakes. He's down 150 hit points. Jesus. He has 116 left.
Starting point is 01:24:36 116 left. And what about Baron? Baron is 143 out of 182. 143 out of 182. 143 out of 182. And Lexington, I imagine, is in rough shape as well. No, he's fine. Okay. He'll live forever.
Starting point is 01:24:50 He's a magical wolf. He's at 135. Okay. That is what the dragon did. But now it is Volsus' turn. Oh, my God. It is. Why doesn't Lexington unleash a breath weapon on enemies before Sir Will attacks normally?
Starting point is 01:25:16 That's what I would love to have. I've always wanted the same thing, but I never brought it up. Because Lexington has only ever been useless. Aw, don't say that. Don't say that. Don't say that. Don't say that. We love him. I love Lexington has only ever been useless. Aw, don't say that. Don't say that. Don't say that. Don't say that. We love him.
Starting point is 01:25:27 I love Lexington. Hopefully he'll find a competent owner after Sir Will dies in the next round. He is a celestial wolf, after all. He should live forever. It's true. Find a new owner. He's going to spend a little bit of a few days at the celestial shelter. He's like Clarence.
Starting point is 01:25:44 He's like, Lexington, you've now been assigned to a new paladin. He needs your help. Um... Okay, here. Sheepers grow. I knew this was going to be hard, but this is
Starting point is 01:26:02 pretty wild. Um... That's really bad. Well, I'm glad I used the bottle cap. Yeah, well you... I actually am, because at least I left it on the fucking floor. Oh my god, dude. Volstice will call down Chain Lightning on Sir Will, Baron, and Jimmer. Metra and Renfall are not within 30 feet of the others.
Starting point is 01:26:39 And you'll have to be within 30 feet of the primary target, and the primary target is Baron. then you'll have to be within 30 feet of the primary target, and the primary target is Baron. So, I need reflex saves from Sir Will, Baron, and Jimmer. And Lexington the Magical Wolf. And there's no two hit in this spell, obviously. Medri, you know this one well. You've used it on me many a time.
Starting point is 01:27:01 Many a time. For fuck's sake. Another natural three. So what's the total? This is a different Jonski. It's a fail. What's the total? Total is 16.
Starting point is 01:27:17 And then the total for Lexington is 26. Okay. And Jimmer, what'd you get? 19. 19. And Baron? 43. 19. And Baron? 43. Okay.
Starting point is 01:27:29 Stirlwell is the only one that failed. It was a low, uh, DC for Chain Lightning. You take 47 points of lightning damage, and the rest of you, including Waxington, uh, but not Metra, take 23 points of electricity damage, and yet again, Baron, that does not, Baron, that is not blocked by Stoneskin. And he's just smiling, his eyes crackling with electricity. But he is exposed.
Starting point is 01:27:55 He is out there. The battle has officially begun. The battle's begun. We're already almost dead. We're dead. I'm down 200 hit points Yeah, I We have been touched
Starting point is 01:28:07 81 Yeah, this is We have done no damage We have done nothing to them so far And we're all Two of us are almost dead And I've channeled three times And laid on hands once
Starting point is 01:28:17 Yeah It is Sir Will's turn May the force be with you all And how many points of damage Did you say that lightning was? I apologize. It's okay. 22 for you. 23. Excuse me, 23.
Starting point is 01:28:31 That hair might be the split that we need to split. I'm very nervous. Talk to me, Joe. You're a hot-headed guy. Really fired up here. I know you like to close strong. Obviously, this isn't going well. Yeah, I'm just trying to decide between, like,
Starting point is 01:28:51 oh, a heroic move, a cool story move, and he'll die. And I'm not exaggerating. He will be dead. Dead in the next turn. Absolutely, 100%. I mean, when I say dead, I mean out of the game. So, like, he might live in the story if everyone else kills volstice without him but he will be out uh and that is the the you
Starting point is 01:29:13 know the decision is just like charge out there the other decision is to just run away and heal for multiple rounds to like stay alive and be able to fight or keep other people alive it's not a terrible thing to consider no it's not um and i think that's what i have to do by the rules of the game i don't think it allows me to be heroic because it'll just everyone will die i think well it's the type of things like if you're talking about like charging on lexington flying up there assuming you can reach him and striking either the dragon or volstis and hoping you land a hit and then dying. So you still have displacement.
Starting point is 01:29:48 Dying. It's ridiculous. It's preposterous. It's unbeatable in the current situation. So he's going to have to buy this time. So he resets himself and is like, Plexiglas, buy us some time. And they flee. A hundred.
Starting point is 01:30:06 I can't remember. Can you run when you're flying? I don't remember. You're hasted, so you have... Oh, hasted is enough. So with haste, he will move 120 feet away from everyone. And that's a single move action, by the way. That's a double move.
Starting point is 01:30:22 If you have a flied speed, that's a speed you can run with it. Oh, I forgot. I was basing it off of Lexington. Lexington has flies. So he has 60 feet of... So he has 90 feet. So he has 180 feet. Haste only adds 30.
Starting point is 01:30:34 At the most, 30. It doubles up to 30. So 180 feet. So let's see how many feet we have in this room here inside. It's only 100 feet wide. The run action does not restrict itself to land speeds only. Any creature may run with any movement type, fly, swim, climb, burrow, land, unless otherwise prohibited. Okay.
Starting point is 01:30:56 So yeah, then he will say, We need to reset ourselves! Come back for a charging strike! And he will run all the way to the back of the room, to this tower, which is very far. So you ran all the way back to the alcove. He ran 125 feet back to the alcove, and he will swift action lay on hands on himself.
Starting point is 01:31:19 It's so crazy to see the way you now all spread out on the map. I mean, spread is obviously what you want to do with this dragon's breath weapon, and not knowing at all spread out on the map. I mean, spread is obviously what you want to do with this dragon's breath weapon and not knowing at all what Volstice has, but it's just so funny. These maps always look so big. Now they look pretty small. Is that your turn?
Starting point is 01:31:38 Well, that was Lexington. You know what? No, because that's Lexington's movement. And then I did a swift action. So I will channel before you leave to help me and jimmer uh sure yeah so i'll channel before i leave but that will be his standard and then he gets to the back um so you can get back there with us without a full round action is what you're saying because of haste uh because lexington's movement uh using lexington movement and your standard is to channel before you go so i just hold on i hold i channel
Starting point is 01:32:09 i don't know yeah are we within the rules here that makes sense to me you talked about using his move speed before i know the reason that i didn't do that i'm gonna be honest we're gonna play by the rules it's because only jimmer's within 30 feet And like by the rules I can't I don't believe I can cast channel While I'm moving at the perfect spot Actually maybe I can Lexing can do one movement And then that would
Starting point is 01:32:34 Put me within 30 feet And then he could just keep moving Alright we're manipulating a little bit but I think it's fair You can break up his movement He's going to take a single move action to get in range and then then he'll take it and channel and then take it he'll take another another action as he's running past the two of them he times it and does channel yeah like you couldn't do that if unless you had uh you know ride by attack i don't know any ability that allows you to cast a spell mid-movement while mounting.
Starting point is 01:33:05 Now, channeling isn't a spell. Yeah, I mean, you took one movement with Lexington, and then you're using your standard, and then you're taking a second movement with Lexington. Yeah, I think it sounds... It doesn't sound wildly unfair. Right, and it's not like, oh, you've really changed the tide of battle with that action. Horrific. Horrific. Four twos and two ones. Total of 25 and who gets that uh jimmer and baron and uh lexington and sir will okay terrible terrible what's the total sir 25 25 points of healing oh thanks 25 more than i had earlier yeah that's a
Starting point is 01:33:41 good way of looking at it that's that's a glass half full way of looking at it. A glass cannon half full. Hey! T-shirt idea, Baron. Okay. Be the sheriff of Juneau. Baron is pulling out a one-legged three-point shot from the logo. Desperate times call for desperate measures. If you need me to do a perception check on this first,
Starting point is 01:34:06 I will do a perception check. What? For what? Baron is going to spend two points of grit. Okay. The first is Deadeye, which allows me to resolve an attack against Touch AC that is normally outside of my Touch AC range. Okay. That is going to apply to my second point of grit,
Starting point is 01:34:23 which will be on targeting. Okay. That is going to apply to my second point of grit, which will be on targeting. Okay. I am targeting Volstice's arms to make him drop one of the items he is holding. Oh, cool. He is floating over the edge of the abyss. I would like to target the orb he is holding. Oh, shit. Liking the artwork, liking the figure I see in front of him, unless that is just flavor and he's not actually holding it. He is holding an orb. I can't say it looks exactly like that, but he is holding oh shit like in the artwork like in the figure i see in front of him unless that is just flavor and he's not actually holding it he is holding an orb i can't say it looks exactly
Starting point is 01:34:48 like that but he is holding an orb if that looks like it's locked in his hand with a gauntlet and it can't go away i will target his falcata um no it does not okay so you just have to hit his regular ac i have to hit his touch AC At a minus two because I'm outside Of my first range increment I'm still resolving against touch AC Because I'm spending a point of grit To enact dead eye on top of my Targeting deed
Starting point is 01:35:15 Okay Alright Here it comes Natural one That will be And this bullet is a plus Here it comes. Natural one. Natural one. That will be, and this bullet is a plus three to hit on top of this. With the magic ammunition. Minus two, so net of a plus one.
Starting point is 01:35:36 That is a 29 against Touch HC. That hits his arm. And the orb falls from his hands. Holy shit. It's not like sealed to his arm. And the orb falls from the sky. Holy shit. It's not like sealed to his hand? He's just holding it like a jamoke? What is he doing? He's palming it like a basketball.
Starting point is 01:35:54 Holding the orb. That is fucking arrogant. Wow. Holding the orb, you hit his hand. Boom! It flies out and just falls to the ground below. Immediately as that happens, the black cloud above clears. Oh. Whoa!
Starting point is 01:36:10 Bear bear! It's not like it's a beautiful day, but you can see the sun in the distance peeking through. Whatever magical thing was happening was somehow tied to that orb. Wow. Wow. Wow. That's all you see. And Baron says at that point. I heard from Noximara.
Starting point is 01:36:31 That only the breath of a descendant of Balgaroth. Could destroy that thing. And I heard from Lyrinitis. The same thing. I'm not descended from them. I'm descended. Dwarves. That tended. I'm not descended from them. I'm descended from dwarves that tended Torag's forge himself.
Starting point is 01:36:50 And Torag's here today standing toe-to-toe with you. Not just Baron. Not just Jimmer. Not just Sir Will. And not just Metra. You're fighting the gods, my friend. Because we're gods!
Starting point is 01:37:10 And that was a full round action. Okay. So the most Baron could do at this point is take a five foot step back. And Baron will do that just because it's fun. Okay. Awesome. That was pretty fucking sweet. That was pretty fucking sweet.
Starting point is 01:37:24 That was so... That's phenomenal That is And that's not worthy Of a bottle cap Yeah come on There's no such thing As bottle caps
Starting point is 01:37:30 I was going to text Matthew To say cast disintegrate on it And then I remembered I looked through my notes And saw that only the breath Of a descendant of Balgaroth Could destroy it So I was like
Starting point is 01:37:40 I gotta do this And that's what I was thinking Taking it all myself So that orb falls to the thinking of the whole lesson taking it all myself so that orb falls to the ground and the skies go clear no rain?
Starting point is 01:37:51 the rain stops as well wow amazing is he flying above ground that it can catch or is it on the ground it fell straight
Starting point is 01:37:59 a million miles away a million miles away it fell not a million miles a million miles? I was just saying what Grant said no but it fell to the ground it just kept going so it's not something it's not like a nine millimeter handgun in between two people fighting on a train in an action yeah we have to grab it's gone that is gone yep um okay that was some clint eastwood shit that was fucking amazing. That was pretty cool. And you know what? Give yourself a bottle cap. Yeah!
Starting point is 01:38:26 You earned it, buddy. You earned it. It is now Jimmer's turn. If only it had fallen on the ground, Grant, and you could have used your ability to shoot an object to move it. Scoot on a tending orb! Scoot on a tending orb! Off the edge of the counter, and then Joe would have owed you five American dollars.
Starting point is 01:38:44 Yeah, you never did use it once, right? You know, you gave me the... I think you're gonna owe me five American dollars at the end of 326. You gave me the Australian five dollars, but not... By the way, I think that the scoot-out attendant object may not work on magical items. I'll look it up. We'll talk about it later.
Starting point is 01:39:00 Colin, Timber, what are you thinking here? You can fly now. You had Nubia's interest interest But now you have her attention Yeah, the problem here is that My fly skill is so really low That it's going to be really difficult for me to even hover To even be able to get a full attack off
Starting point is 01:39:21 If I'm in the air So I don't know I mean i think i can charge and i'll be at least get one attack off and then hope for the best but i'm you gave a bonus on your fly skill yeah but it's not i'm i'm already at a minus seven so it's like you get a plus seven right equal to half my cash level so it'd be a zero so i'd have to roll a nine yeah so i'd have to roll a natty like 14 or higher to be able 90. Yeah, so I'd have to roll a natty like 14 or higher to be able to hover. Meanwhile, Baron, I forgot.
Starting point is 01:39:49 Displacement. You gotta roll 50% miss chance. Oh my god. Can I use the bottle cap on that? Sure. All right. Plus eight. Stop.
Starting point is 01:40:04 34. No! Also known as a 42 this just in the weather is really taking a turn it's dark out there and the rain's back they're bringing out the tarp it's gonna be another rain delay here
Starting point is 01:40:24 at Zephyral Stadium. I feel exactly how I feel when I'm at a baseball game when that happens. For just... Fucking miserable. There's like a brief moment where it just seems like it would still be really, really hard. But doable. But doable. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Sorry, Chipper. moment where it just it seems like it would still be really really hard but doable but doable sorry jimmer uh to interrupt you there but you're saying you could fly up there get one attack off but then next round you're going to struggle to hover to try and do the full attack right
Starting point is 01:41:00 because it's dc 15 and with fly on do you get a bonus to your fly check i believe it's still i have to roll like a natty 14 okay to be able to do it so it's um but she's not going to come down to you right this is why it's like uh jimmer versus nester in this situation yeah nester wouldor would be 100% fine. Or way better shape than we are with Jimmer here. Because it's like, if there are people on the ground that he can go up and meet toe-to-toe, we're good. But in a situation like this, it's like, he's at a major disadvantage. And that's another, like, massive swing in fortune. Just losing Nestor and having Jimmer come in here.
Starting point is 01:41:44 But, you know know all i can do right now is face the problem that's ahead of me so he's going to he's gonna like shouts and like shoots up through the air charges her uh flying up at a 45 degree angle to meet her in midair okay swinging terminus s at her face that That is... Oh, boy. Natural three. That is a thirty... Thirty-six to hit. Okay, and were you charged? That doesn't provoke, right? No. Okay.
Starting point is 01:42:14 You said thirty... Thirty-six. Thirty-six. That is a hit. Okay. And she does not have... Oh, and I meant to say, before I charge, like, he enacts his weapon mastery power and infuses Terminus S with the flaming power. So it bursts into flames. Okay.
Starting point is 01:42:33 It's engulfed in flames as he flies out. Okay. All right, 48 points of damage. Okay. That's great. Okay. There's a finite number of hit points that the enemies have. I don't believe you.
Starting point is 01:42:50 I'm telling you, there is. Jimmer goes toe-to-toe with Nalbia, who imagines herself to be the queen of the world, standing by Volusis' side. And chose him over her brother. Cool. Round five. Metra's turn.
Starting point is 01:43:11 Metra, what's going on over there? There's just one of you. You're particulate. You're protected from evil. You can fly. Fly. Yeah. How many points of damage did you do to Nalvia? 40-something? 48, I think he's 46 46 oh wait no 40 48 48 yeah does that affect your choice yeah i'm metagaming a little bit but i
Starting point is 01:43:36 think i think i could justify it in story terms that i would there's a particular thing i can do but you gotta wait until they're're softened up a little bit. So instead, Metra is going to cast... Let me just make sure... How far away is... How far away... Is the dragon and Volstis actually where they are? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:43:58 For all intents and purposes, that's where they are. All right. So that's not helpful either. They're up, but you're up, so... Yeah, but they're not that close to each other. I wish they were closer. That's what I'm saying. Ah, I see.
Starting point is 01:44:13 I see. So let's roll the dice on this. That's what we do here at the Glass Cannon Podcast. And by the way, if this is just your first episode and you're listening, be sure to go back to episode one. Metro's going to cast Disintegrate on Nalbia. Love it.
Starting point is 01:44:32 She's probably going to pass, but what's it going to feel for what her fortitude save is, shall we? Yeah. Let's put it to the test. All right. It might be her lowest save. It might be her lowest save. She's a witch. So, giant, but witch. Okay. I rolled a She's a witch. So, giant, but witch. Rude. Okay.
Starting point is 01:44:47 I rolled a total of a 34. It's not her lowest save. First, I got hit you. Ah. I'll keep a 34. That is a 26 range touch attack. Again. Oh, it can't touch?
Starting point is 01:45:00 Yep, that's a hit. So, give me 5d6 damage. So, what'd you roll? 34. Unless that doesn't beat your... That does beat it. Passive aggressive. 78 level sorcerer is CC. You take greater, greater, greater, greater, greater, greater spell.
Starting point is 01:45:14 She's a sorcerer then. Greater, greater, greater, greater, greater spell, though. A lot of ones. Too many ones in this. Joe rolling your dice for you? Seems like it. 17 points of damage. Okay.
Starting point is 01:45:25 The old freshman 17, as no one says. Okay. And then I will move. I will move. I kind of circle back. I'm kind of directly behind Jimmer now, but farther back into the room. Perfect for a line attack. Oh, you kept moving.
Starting point is 01:45:47 Okay. Yeah, it's moving. All right, Metra, if that's your real name. All right, so Nalbia is going to... She wants to create some distance between her
Starting point is 01:46:03 and Jimmer. I'd like to do so without provoking an attack of opportunity. But her acrobatics suck. And Jimmer has a lot of reach as a big person. Yeah, then again, if I stay there, you're going to have to roll a hover in order to do a full attack. So it's a bit of a risk. Because if I try to hex you again, the hex doesn't provoke.
Starting point is 01:46:29 So I don't have to worry about it. She's a who hexes huh she's a witch she's a witch she's just a witch dude she's a witch sorcerer uh no i was i was making fun of you oh i wasn't listening it's fine um i'm used to it yeah i'm gonna Yeah, I'm gonna... Well, there's a world where I get hit no matter what. So what is the DC to escape an attack of opportunity, avoid an attack of opportunity? His CMD. Oh, fuck that. Okay, I'm just gonna...
Starting point is 01:46:59 What did we decide about five-foot fly? It's a fly check? You can do it. Okay. I mean, it's a fly... It is a fly check to move do it okay i mean it's a it's a fly it is a fly it is a fly check to move less than your your speed okay and the dc of that is 15 or 20 uh it's 10 i think 10 okay i was 15 when i failed at the other it's 15 to hover it's okay less than half it's
Starting point is 01:47:21 less than half and i just want to move there because i don't want to uh broken aoe so you could five foot fly instead of hover you are you're still within my i know i know uh oh yeah that's true yeah do that that's yeah i'll just do that okay cool because then you only have to roll yeah maybe i should I should just take the AOL. Fuck it. I'm going to use my Accursed Hex to try in that same hex on you again. So roll another will save. Oh my god. This die has been not great.
Starting point is 01:47:57 Been a little cold. Very recently. Let's do the other one. The one with our special gemstone die that we got sent. What was that? What save was that will will oh god 22 you're all right oh jesus man i have a shitty witch man another shitty fucking role too kind of a shitty witch damn it oh that sucks uh well i mean it's too good i mean it's all but it's all he it's all... But it's all he needs. Just these couple people.
Starting point is 01:48:26 It's all he needs. Yeah. Volstis. To just, like, have total dominance over us. Yeah. Because we can't focus on him. Yeah. Well, it is...
Starting point is 01:48:37 We'll say at that point, the bird that is on Nalbia's shoulder turns into an air elemental and flies onto Baron's spot. All right. I remember this fellow. And it's like a large four-square-tech air elemental.
Starting point is 01:48:56 Give me two reflex saves. Let me know if you roll a natural one. Okay. Natural 20. Nice. I didn't ask I know you don't need my life story It's your oldest most tired joke It's classic
Starting point is 01:49:10 It's an American classic People love it I do not I did not roll a natural one Okay So you're not hurt or carried up on that But you are stymied by it slightly Oh I was just about to hide some of the map
Starting point is 01:49:23 That's not what I wanted to do I wanted to measure I wanted to measure I see the tiny block you hit Sorry Okay The red dragon will fly directly At Metra Charging, if you will
Starting point is 01:49:39 While Volstis lowers His falcata And attempts to do a ride-by attack. Renfall's music is distracting him. He will take a penalty to his attack. So it's your attack, both the dragon and Volstice are attacking me? No, just Volstis.
Starting point is 01:50:10 The way I'm reading it is that fly by attack is considered a charge, whereas, excuse me, ride by attack is considered part of a charge, whereas fly by attack assumes that you move, attack, move. So in the sort of order of operations, I can only do one or the other. What I could do is fly up to you and do attack, attack. But what I want to do is just swoop and fly past you without provoking the AOL. And so that's what I'm going to do. It's kind of like what Sir Will does, but better. Better in every way.
Starting point is 01:50:38 Okay. That is going to be... The question is, how bad do we think this is going to be? I'm at full HP. It's you, though. It would be really useful. He's going to hit me. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:50:52 And you don't have mirror image. No. I would just take the hit. I would take the hit and keep your standard next round. Next round, you're just going to not have a whole turn. It's not worth it, I don't think. Yeah, when you're at full. It's a 43 to hit.
Starting point is 01:51:06 Yeah. Not bad. You take 30 points of damage. Okay. Could be worse. Could have been worse. Plus some Sonic, John. Actually, I think the Sonic might just be on a crit.
Starting point is 01:51:22 Yeah. No. Sorry. I think it's just on a crit. Just want to make sure. Yeah. No, it's just on a crit. Yeah, no. Sorry. I think it's just on a crit. Just want to make sure. Yeah, no, it's just on a crit. Okay. So he hits me with his falcata? He hits you with your falcata. You take 30 points of damage,
Starting point is 01:51:35 and he continues riding past you. Remember that this is all open air here, so I'm just going to have him go past Metra down here in the direction of that walkway, which is now completely open to the sky as well. And did you move
Starting point is 01:51:52 him? I might have to refresh. I have not moved him. Can you guys see him on the map or no? The way I revealed the map. Okay. Great. So he's flown straight past and struck you for 30 points of damage. And now he's all the way in the back by Sir Will.
Starting point is 01:52:08 Uh. Oh, dear God. He is. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Nalvia already did her thing, so... It is Sir Will's turn. Uh, okay. Sir Will is...
Starting point is 01:52:22 Now this guy is within 40 feet of him. Um. Sir Will's still so hurt. I just don't know what to do. Stick to your plan. Stick to my plan. Okay. Uh, okay. Then he will continue buying time.
Starting point is 01:52:37 Lexington, buy us some time! Uh, everything hurts. Everything's awful. Everything hurts. Though, you know what? He's going to take this opportunity before he leaves. He's not going to even
Starting point is 01:52:51 call out to Volstis. He's going to pray quietly to Iomedae and just say, This is him, Iomedae. If it is your will that his plan shall be averted, please work through us. Make it happen.
Starting point is 01:53:09 And he's going to smite evil on Volstis. And then he will have Lexington fly another 180 feet to the west. Now he's passing around the wind, rainfall on that side of the room, heading back toward the outside, away from Volstice. And, uh, for his standard action,
Starting point is 01:53:34 he's actually just going to, uh, lay on hands. Okay. Do a little lay on hands, trying to get some of that healing back healing Healing that could be gone within a heartbeat. Yeah, it's just, it feels so deflating. It's like the whole, like, when you just can't get ahead on your healing, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:53:56 You heal, then it's gone. You heal, then it's gone, and you're not doing anything to the enemies. It's like having student loans. Just never get ahead. That's exactly what it's like. All right, so another heal. I'm just trying to avoid being, like, one hit in a round to zero. It is Baron's turn.
Starting point is 01:54:15 Baron, this stupid bird has turned into an arrow mental and is now just annoying you. Really? That's really what it comes down to. Can I see through it? Can I... It's basically like obscuring miss in that little 10-foot square there. Which means I cannot see through it? Correct.
Starting point is 01:54:35 You can't see things that are right next to you. It's 20% mischance. Anything beyond that is 50%. Can I take a 5-foot step out of it? From where you are standing, you sure can. All right, let's do that I'm gonna do a quick check pass with an 18 on the fly check
Starting point is 01:54:50 okay so let me just move having to roll those checks for the five foot fly is just such a pain yeah okay he is within Baron looks down escapes out of the air elemental that is
Starting point is 01:55:08 stymieing him his hat is miraculously still on his head it's like Indiana Jones it's like stapled to your forehead why did it have to be snakes he looks across the way from him Volstis is even further away above what looks to be ground
Starting point is 01:55:24 and whatnot, but 95 feet. That is still outside of his first range increment, but with long shot, he wants to spend almost all of the rest of his grit. Another two points to do the same thing again. Okay. So he's going to burn almost all the rest of his grit to try and knock that fucking thing out of his hand.
Starting point is 01:55:46 And remember, grit is very important for a couple reasons. One of which is being able to clear misfiring. Yes. But I'm still okay, but this is in a critical situation. You also have a named bullet that can't misfire. This is true. You live forever. Don't spoil it.
Starting point is 01:56:05 That is a 28 against Touch AC to hit his arm. 28 against Touch AC to hit his arm. Hits his arm. 30. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. God. Displ been you're the bane of your existence yeah the past i mean this is kryptonite tito liati the author clearly loves displacement loves it huge displacement fan named his first child dis child Dissy. Uh, I guess.
Starting point is 01:56:45 Okay. Okay. Okay. It is Jimmer's turn. Okay. Jimmer. All right. We're going to try.
Starting point is 01:56:53 He's like trying to drift a little bit closer to Nalbia to keep her engaged. He's going to try to fly check. Nope. Oh, no. So do I get it? Keep her engaged She's gonna try a flight check Nope Oh no So do I get I still get one attack Though right like it's a You just this this sucks So fucking much You don't I don't know it's
Starting point is 01:57:18 Another fuck okay that's a hit Another fucking I Oh worst possible Time I knew this would happen This is the worst cold streak All right so that's a hit. Another fucking... I... Ugh! Worst possible time. I knew this would happen. This is the worst cold streak. All right, so that's a hit. We're all so cold right now.
Starting point is 01:57:33 God, this is the worst. All right, so that's 42 points of regular damage. And so six more points of fire. So another 48 points of damage. 48 points of damage 48 points of damage some of which is fire sucks too is like i've been only been able to play jimmer for like 10 episodes it's all this stuff that he should be able to do i can't fucking do because i can't roll well i've only had so many chances and i'm oh one thing that i'm sort of eschewing just because it gets very tedious is when you're attacked while, you're going to make a DC-10 fly check
Starting point is 01:58:06 or lose 10 feet of altitude. I think that's only if you have wings, though. Yes, you're right. That's only if you're attacked if you have wings. So that's perfect. Collision if you're using wings. Perfect. All right, so I'm just curious what happens when you fail.
Starting point is 01:58:20 You just stay right there? I mean, you can... No, he has to move. He has to fly. That's the whole point. So you got that one attack, and now you've got to move, Jimmer. Well, my thing is, like,
Starting point is 01:58:31 if I have to do that, I'll just fly and circle back to... But it will provoke her. Does she have a weapon out? She does have a sickle. Obviously, she's not known for her... When did she draw that sickle when she had two scrolls in her hand
Starting point is 01:58:42 when she came out, Troy? Bam! Salad! All right, she is sickleless. Sick two scrolls in her hand when she came out, Troy? Bam! Salad. All right, she is sickleless. Sickleless. She just spits on you. You sickleless witch! The wind takes it.
Starting point is 01:58:51 It doesn't hit you. And now she's just embarrassed. Oh, you got de-sickled, sucker! I got de-sickled! You can de-sickle with the best of them. It's round six. One thing you should keep in mind is that breath weapons tend to recharge after a certain amount of rounds. That's mainly for the people listening at home.
Starting point is 01:59:07 Hope you're enjoying the show. Be sure to subscribe to our Patreon. Matthew, what do you want to do here, Metro? Big, big sorcerer energy over here. Volsus goes before you go again, right, Baron? Yes. Everybody does. All right.
Starting point is 01:59:23 I want to try something. Okay. Gotta be a little creative here. Oh, God. I want to try something. Okay. Gotta be a little creative here. Oh, God. I'm going to do Spell Magic. Yes. Okay. I like how it's gone so far.
Starting point is 01:59:32 I'll update you in a second. I was going to do this placement, but given what the information choices dropped on us, I think we need to do something else first. Okay. I'm going to target the Orb of Dragonkind. I can't dispel it permanently with an object i can suppress the effects for 1d4 rounds yeah but we still have the problem of not being able to hit or damage so i think if we're able to hit him i can do another go if i
Starting point is 01:59:57 don't die it's gonna it's gonna breath weapon a bunch of us and it almost and it's gonna almost certainly kill i mean it, it could kill me in one breath weapon and I'm at full HP. I don't think it can kill you in one breath weapon, but I did like 100 plus points of damage to you guys, didn't I? Yeah, but you're very reflexive.
Starting point is 02:00:18 Sort of. Basically, I need to know if we do the Orbit Dragonkind should have a caster level basically i don't know why you hate dispelling displacement why do you hate why do you love displacement so much what's your what's your favorite part about displacement if we have control if the dragon can control both just the just the displacement is on pause while we can we can buy time i mean yeah. Just separating him from the dragon would be phenomenal.
Starting point is 02:00:46 I just don't think that it's a feasible thing to do. I think it's feasible. It's DC 11 plus the item's caster level. Caster level 20, most likely. And you're rolling a D20 plus 17? Yeah. So it is possible, right? That's what I'm trying to figure out.
Starting point is 02:01:02 So if it's 20, it would be 31. It would be a DC 31, it's uh a caster level check so yeah i mean it's 14 or higher yeah to suppress it for 1d4 rounds i mean i can do the displacement i can do the displacement i can no but i want you to be able to do what you're excited to do i just yeah i mean i don't i't really see, unless the artifact says something that you can't do it, I mean, it sounds like you could try it. And it's just a temporary thing is what you're saying? Yeah.
Starting point is 02:01:33 Yeah, if it just ends up being a round or two, though. It might turn the whole combat if it's a round or two. Yeah, if it saves, if a dragon could block him or, yeah. Even if it delays the breath weapon for two rounds. Turns the breath weapon on Nalbia. The only suggestion I'm having is that if we do end up... Yeah, it's fine this way. The only other side of it is that I have one last go at it.
Starting point is 02:01:59 I finally knock it out. And then his displacement is also gone. Do you see what I'm saying? This is your last go? I think so. My issue is, if the breath weapon is going to go off this round, that we're going to be... It could be characters below zero, it could be characters
Starting point is 02:02:14 dead. Okay. What's the named bullet? What are you waiting for? Displacement. Yeah, displacement is fucking horrendous. Displacement's going to stop that too. I'll do the displacement. No, no, no. You do the order. What do you think his caster level is going to be 40 20 yes i think his cash level is going to be 20 so the same as the same so it's the same check i think he's a level 20 caster i don't think he's
Starting point is 02:02:38 level he might be like he might be like 19 oh he's multi-class oh yeah that's right because if he's multi-class it would be the yeah i think he's multi-class yeah that's right Because if he's multiclass It would be the Yeah I think he's multiclass What do we think Like 11, 12 I mean this is metagaming But Yeah what do we think he is He's
Starting point is 02:02:49 I mean Or did he He hit with a 43 He's got a pretty good BAP Did he even cast displacement Or did someone else cast it on him That's the other question That's true
Starting point is 02:02:57 It could have been It could have been Nalbia In which case Her caster level Is going to be pretty high Right I don't know Matthew Now I'm overthinking it.
Starting point is 02:03:05 Yeah, I am too. So let's just do displacement. That's what you want to do? Yeah. Displacement. Uh, so it's a targeted John against displacement.
Starting point is 02:03:12 Yes. And it's the caster level of the caster that cast it on him. Yes. Okay. Plus 11. 11 plus the caster level. Oh my God. Uh, that is terrible. Oh my god. That is terrible.
Starting point is 02:03:27 God, this is... This is terrible. This is... Bottle cap? I don't have one. 24. Well, it wouldn't... If it came from a scroll, it might be enough.
Starting point is 02:03:38 Or if he's not many levels. The DC, just making sure, was 22. Oh! What? Where was it from? From the dragon. Oh, from the dragon. See, if I had just done that on the orb,
Starting point is 02:03:58 then the dragon could have cast displacement on us. The dragon also has mirror image and displacement on him that you can see. So the dragon's only 11th level. Let's fuck that dragon up. The dragon just needs to be freed. I don't need to attack the dragon. Yeah, you're right. We have to focus on it. I think that we should focus on everyone but Volstis.
Starting point is 02:04:15 All right, so Volstis, you have targeted displacement. Displacement is gone. Nice. Bad drop. That's the thing. That's the thing with displacement, Matthew. If you do displacement we still get the orb like there's a good chance you know whereas if you focus on the orb then you
Starting point is 02:04:32 your action is that and then you know grant's action is he still can't hit volstice right all right yeah i think this was the right move i think it probably was too i'm just really really worried about the breath weapon yeah i am too yeah yeah i think it probably was, too. I'm just really, really worried about the breath weapon. Yeah, I am, too. Yeah, yeah. I think that could really fuck up this encounter. Yeah. It already did. Yeah. But that roll that you made, the roll, the cash level check you just made, probably would have failed against the orb.
Starting point is 02:04:56 Almost certainly. Yes, it would have failed against the orb, so you got it. And now, can't you go on the ethereal plane when the breath goes? I could, but what I'm going to do instead is fly up in the direction of Nalbia. So if he wants to hit me, he has to hit her or drastically reposition himself. That's Machiavellian, dude. That is badass. What a tyrant.
Starting point is 02:05:19 What a little monster, man. So it's either hit Baron and Sir Will and Renfall or Jimmer, Metra and Nalbia. Actually, there's a world where you can hit Baron, Jimmer, Metra, but Nalbia is still caught in there as well as her little elemental friend. Tip of the cap. Hey, Joe, did you play a six book AP? I did. What level did you get to? 17. Holy shit. What'd you do in the last fight i laid on hands 18 consecutive rounds on myself it was the worst fucking fight
Starting point is 02:05:54 i've ever had in pathfinder the other nice thing the nice thing is for joe is once he's almost bored himself to death casting lay on hands in a corner by himself is he can finally get that one good smite evil charge off without displacement getting in the way yeah kill yourself right that displacement being gone is juicy for the record has what we've been all been rolling terribly here yeah this is like it's been pretty bad one time i'd love to roll over i'd love to roll over seven do people complain about d100 rolls because with a 50 50 it's really a d10 it's really just the first digit that matters with like a little bit on the one like it doesn't okay i'm not a probability guy i'm gonna shut up you could just roll the d10 yeah exactly yeah and if you got a five you'd have to roll the other one to make sure it was a 51 or
Starting point is 02:06:41 higher well no because no no because zero you roll the 0-0 on the... That's... Yeah, okay. Either way, it's... Oh, my God. Technically, we fuck up the 50... By our rules, we fuck up the 50-50 probability because a 69 is the worst possible result.
Starting point is 02:06:59 80, 86. 86 is the worst possible result. Right, and they're both in the higher tier. They're both in the higher range. Yep, that's true. So I always think we should roll it the way Del does it, which is that 1 through 50 is a success. Got it.
Starting point is 02:07:14 Oh, yeah. That way it's still 50-50. Right. Now it'll be his turn, and she will yet again try to hex Jimmer. Oh, God. After she pulls out her sigil. Okay. And drawing does not provoke, so you're safe there.
Starting point is 02:07:30 As you see, she has a sickle on the map here, a little palm. She is so pretty. Yeah, she's a pretty communist with that sickle. Yeah, she's like a beautiful communist. Really beautiful communist. Sweet communist, the communist daughter. Skid, what did you roll on a will save? Will save.
Starting point is 02:07:46 Oh, come on. Jimmer. Jimmer. Break the bad luck. One fucking time. There we go. Natty's 16. There he is.
Starting point is 02:07:52 That is a 31. Okay. You do not fall asleep. Oh, my God. Scott's a witch's man. Deep slumber. Just a classic slumber for eight rounds. Were you looking ahead to that as Gormley?
Starting point is 02:08:04 Were you like, slumber is my jam? That's like, slumber hex is so fucking powerful. It's ridiculous. Do you have major hexes? Surely she must have some. Yeah, it's so much fun. This is fun. I could see this is just not my kind of character to play.
Starting point is 02:08:18 I could see why it's fun, but it's just a lot of like this. I've tried to hex him three times. Like, all right, well, maybe next time. That's why you got to get those hexes like the evil eye. Dude, our buddy Drew in James Rachel, he would slumber the hell out of it. Every single encounter, Troy would do the speech. And he'd be like, roll for initiative. And all his attention would go down, and he'd be like, deep slumber.
Starting point is 02:08:40 Boss falls asleep. And Troy would be like, pass the safe. And then he'd be like, accursed hex next round. Deep slumber. falls asleep it's gonna be like pass the safe and then he'd be like a cursed hex next round deep slumber he's asleep misfortune then deep slumber yeah well that's what i was trying to do i cast misfortune on you twice because i wanted you to take a you know uh basically the the opposite a bit of luck what's that called misfortune disadvantage whatever i wanted you to do that and then lay the slumber hex on you, but I couldn't chain it the right way. So I was like, I'll just try slumber.
Starting point is 02:09:07 The way we've been rolling, you should have just slumbered right away. I know, I know. I just thought it'd be more fun to give you a chance. But you beat me anyways. So that's her turn. Renfall is still playing away. That is giving him a penalty to his attacks. And he's also rolling a will save every round
Starting point is 02:09:26 to see if he's flat-footed. He has made that will save, and will probably continue to make that will save throughout the entire combat, but you never know. Could be a timely miss to leave him flat-footed. So Renfall's all set. The air elemental goes right back
Starting point is 02:09:45 On Baron's spot Just to be a real pain in the ass It doesn't provoke because it's air And then it's old Volstey's turn Volstey McGee Oh man Man man Baron you've tried twice
Starting point is 02:10:01 To knock that orb out of his hands And I don't think that he understands That I'm doing that because my attacks have just kind of failed. Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't think I'm broadcasting that that's what I'm doing. You're just shooting at him. You know this, obviously, but I don't think Vol's system. I'm looking at this map here, and I think there's a way I can get a breath weapon off without hitting Nalbia, but with hitting Baron, Jimmer, and Metra If you look
Starting point is 02:10:25 I should also say He stands right next to Nalbia So that a breath weapon can't Right, but do you see the way they're placed Or are you not placing it I just moved Metra up What squares is she in? We can't even tell
Starting point is 02:10:41 Nalbia? Can you not see her on the map? I can, but are her squares accurate? Is she a three by three Or a four by four She's a three by three So then you would've Moved up one She didn't have the sickle
Starting point is 02:10:50 So I would've moved up one Can you move up past Move past her And then she's in it Okay Yeah Okay now she's in I mean I have
Starting point is 02:10:57 I had the fly speed I'm hasted I just didn't It was like Okay I imagine I was guessing I imagine Metro
Starting point is 02:11:02 Putting her arm around her Like they were taking A picture together Yeah Breath weapon right here Breath weapon selfie Okay Okay. I imagine Metra putting her arm around her like they were taking a picture together. Yeah. Breath weapon right here. Breath weapon selfie. Okay. Oh, God.
Starting point is 02:11:12 This is brutal. But this is the final battle. The dragon, like, obviously, this is more cinematic. It, like, swoops down, tries to attack Metra, gets a good little hit, 30 points of damage. And then this is all happening in real time. It swoops back and it flies in the direction of Baron, Jimmer, Metra, and Nalbia.
Starting point is 02:11:35 As it does, you see Volstis look right at Baron, hold out the orb that he's holding. Oh no. And drop it at your feet. What? look right at Baron hold out the orb that he's holding oh no and drop it at your feet what? and then he reaches into his pouch and pulls out another orb an orb that glows
Starting point is 02:11:56 with pink and red hues the orb of dragon kind oh shit okay and with it in his hands his mouth opens as wide as a dragon's and he unleashes a breath weapon
Starting point is 02:12:11 on baron the bird jimmer metra and nalbia oh god and she chose his side everybody roll a reflex save. Metro will eat your stuff.
Starting point is 02:12:29 Yes. Good call. Good call. Come on, James. Nalbia, I believe, failed. Let me just make sure. No, she made it exactly. Oh, boop.
Starting point is 02:12:45 Boop. This is a reflex save? This is a reflex save. What did you get, Baron? 40. What did you get, Jimmer? 35. Okay, it's 20d10 damage.
Starting point is 02:13:02 Jesus. I told you I was worried. This is half damage. But this is him, not the dragon. Jesus. I told you I was worried. This is half damage. But this is him, not the dragon. I think he gets it from the dragon. I think he's getting the dragon's power. He's the one blowing breath weapon. I think the orb gives him the ability to do this.
Starting point is 02:13:17 All of you, including Naldea, will take... I bet he's got better to hit, maybe. Half damage. There's no to hit on a breath. The elemental dissipates. Gone. He killed her bird? Half damage for the rest of you is 64 points of damage.
Starting point is 02:13:34 That would have been 128 on a fail. Oh my god. 64 points of damage. Navia takes it as well. Boy, did she choose the wrong side. Yeah. Where is he? And then I will bring him over.
Starting point is 02:13:54 He's going to be, like, hovering over the area where the fireplace is. He dropped it at Baron's feet. The first orb that he was holding, and it just rolled off into the... Is the storm clear? Storm's clear yeah oh good yeah it's nice out now it's a beautiful day to die did the storm clear? yeah storm's cleared
Starting point is 02:14:11 oh that was an orb of uh stormy wind storm fucks wind of storm fuck wind of storm fuck um so yeah he flies up and he lays out a breath weapon and then a casareth a casareth So yeah, he flies up and he lays out a breath weapon.
Starting point is 02:14:26 And then a Khazarith. A Khazarith. Who, by the way, also has breath weapons. Will do something. Metro, you're still on the Aether plane or are you in-out? I am on the Aether plane
Starting point is 02:14:42 until my next turn. Okay. Khaazareth will cast a spell on himself. You just see all eight images just become
Starting point is 02:15:01 engulfed in flames. He casts Fire Shield on himself. God, can you imagine just how terrifying it was when eight red dragons breath weaponed us? Breath weapons and flames. Well, yeah, remember, this one was Volsus, but the first one, yeah, was eight breath weapons. I want to see that movie.
Starting point is 02:15:19 Let me just roll a little something for myself here. That's horrible. Okay. That was Voltus. That was a Kazareth. That was Renfall. Myralka, the bird elemental, is gone. Nabi is still kicking.
Starting point is 02:15:39 It is Sir Will's turn. Sir Will, seeing these guys take damage, is just so eager to get over there and so eager to attack Falstice now that he sees the displacement is gone. But he's trying to be tactical. He's thinking of his military tactics he learned in the World Wound.
Starting point is 02:16:00 Bide his time. Pick the right moment to strike. He's going to, as a swift action, lay on hands on himself. He's running very low. Almost ready to be out of these. And then he's going to pull a potion from his belt and drink it.
Starting point is 02:16:17 And he starts to get a little blurry. Oh. As he drinks a potion of displacement. Oh! Duke of Play in that game! Shit, you know what I forgot? You should have rolled 20% mischance on me.
Starting point is 02:16:32 My tattoo. I always forget this. Oh. Oh. I have a constant 20% mischance. Happy to give it back to you at 30 points of damage if I roll under a 20 here. Yep. You would get 30 back.
Starting point is 02:16:43 If I roll, yeah. I rolled a one. Oh! Holy shit, that's huge, dude. Wow, that's awesome. That's great. Nice. I read these guys, but zero, zero, one.
Starting point is 02:16:54 Wow. Good thing this isn't Call of Cthulhu, am I right? That was his action. That was his action. Baron, how are you feeling? Feeling disheartened, which is hard for a red heart to feel. We are known for our heart, and it's relative redness. Sure.
Starting point is 02:17:21 I am going to... You can take a swift action and a full attack action, right? I believe so. Yes. But you haven't taken a swift in the last round, right? Nope. Okay.
Starting point is 02:17:32 Well, I mean, it would be an immediate action that would undo it. A swift I can take again. It's my round again. I have not taken an immediate action. I'm going to take a swift action
Starting point is 02:17:40 to end particulate form and I'm going to take 5d6 worth of healing from that immediately using Google. Now susceptible to crits and sneak attack damage. Now, is Volstis big on sneak attacks? For a second, Volstis pops up, and they flank.
Starting point is 02:17:56 They're flanking. I roll a 3, 4, 6, 5, 5 for a 23 on Google Dice Roller, so that's a good roll. Good roll. Healing. Baron is going to spend two of his last three grip points to try and do the same thing. He's going to do a perception to see if there's anything tricky with this one. Joe's never rolled 23 on 5D6 in his life. I have never.
Starting point is 02:18:17 I just rolled 25 on 9D6. Looking at Volstice. Not even fucking lying. That was that channel. looking at looking at not even fucking lying that was that channel looking at um the orb looking at volstice looking for anything unusual before i enage this attack um and actually i'm only gonna need to use one grip point yep uh that is a 37 looking at him okay what are you doing just seeing if there's anything strange since he's pulled out the orb. Looking generally if anything's changed about him.
Starting point is 02:18:49 We saw that he got this new attack. Just trying to see if... See another picture of him there? That son of a bitch. Is it fused to his hand? The other thing I'm worried about... Bear Bear. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:18:57 Perhaps he needs that in his hand to do a breath weapon, but he obviously doesn't need to hold it to dominate the dragon. Maybe if it's not on his person. Right, it's in the dragon. Maybe if it's not on his person. Right, it's in a bag. Maybe if it's not on his person. Maybe. But, like, I don't think there's Pathfinder rules for that. I've never heard of an item that, like, if it's on your person,
Starting point is 02:19:13 as opposed to being, well, like, a ring or... Yeah, but it's still worn, right? Yeah. Maybe it's a slotless item. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah, I don't know. I'm guessing, from what we've heard've it's a dominate right so i wonder
Starting point is 02:19:27 if it just functions as the spell yeah like you use the orb to cast the spell and it's done right and then it's on for however long it's on and then you maybe re-up it or i don't know yeah i don't know but it does seem like it's not connected to him holding it so i wonder if that all right now but there's no displacement so i wonder if we're just better off getting some damage in on him. Yeah, I mean, you definitely see that he's got dudes ripped, and his skin looks like rock, similar to kind of what Sir Will did. I mean, this guy's buffed to the wazoo. He looks unbelievable.
Starting point is 02:20:04 You think for a moment That looks like a guy that could take over the world Yeah And he is making short work Of your party but there is nothing else That you're like You know a gunslinger's eye Like picking out something a little weak spot
Starting point is 02:20:20 You don't see it I'm able to move Five feet closer to him okay i am going to do a full attack action against them oh nice at least let's make them poor wait i wanted to be i'm sorry i thought i was i just want to be under 30 feet away or 30 feet or less from him okay yeah before we all go down, let's make him bleed. Okay. First attack. Come on, Baron. Come on, Baron.
Starting point is 02:20:49 10% battery remaining on the iPad, so we better wrap up this episode. Don't make him mad. My iPad is almost dead. That is a 30 against Touch AC for the first attack. There you go. That is it. Nice, dude. Actually more than that, but because of match bullets. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Show off off he is a giant for the purposes of being uh rolling knowledge local
Starting point is 02:21:10 you had me he's a gnome wouldn't that be like the most amazing reveal? That would be awesome. 39 points of damage. Oh, yes. Okay. He obviously does have a little bit of DR. He's got the stone skin. I can tell you he's seen stone skin at this point. You guys have seen every single spell in the book. You know, hey, that motherfucker's got stone skin.
Starting point is 02:21:37 So that'll be 29 points of damage. But obviously the DR won't matter for your following attacks. I'm stalling on purpose so that I can just read some more of his 900 powers. I think I'm pretty good here. All right, so 29 points of damage. So I see him be hurt by this bullet still. Oh, yeah. He's more hurt that you would even do that.
Starting point is 02:21:57 More of an emotional hurt than actually physically. What really hurts him is the lying. I thought we were better than this. Probably had an arrangement. Bering clears his gun. Click, clack, chunk. Reaches we were better than this. Probably had an arrangement. Bering clears his gun. Click, clack, chunk. Reaches into his bandolier. Pulls out the name bullet and another one, loading his double
Starting point is 02:22:11 barrel pistol. Ka-chunk. Ka-chunk. Here it comes. This is it? The first. Are they both named? Just one is named. Okay, which one? This one? Or this one? What if you roll a natural one It's not a mystery
Starting point is 02:22:28 What's wrong with you It is not a natural one Oh Jesus The way Grant looked at Joe I was also terrified I thought it was the way he looked at it He looked like the natural one look Like he just jinxed it 28 against Touch AC.
Starting point is 02:22:46 Yes. There are a few other things that will need to happen. That is a hit. I need to overcome the creature's spell resistance, or this spell has no effect. Oh, God. Oh, jeez. Oh, for Christ's sake. Oh.
Starting point is 02:23:01 He doesn't have any spells. Oh, okay. Whoa. Okay. What? Okay. Okay. Are you kidding me? No. He doesn't have any What? Whoa Okay What? Okay Okay Are you kidding me? No
Starting point is 02:23:08 Okay Okay, so let's read this When the target hits the selected creature Overcombo or its boss no effect A normal hit scored Using the target against selected creature Is considered to be a critical threat And deals one extra point of damage per caster level
Starting point is 02:23:24 Which is not multiplied. So I now have to... It's considered to be a critical threat, so I now have to confirm. Yeah. 12 on the die. Confirmed. That is a 32. Yes! Confirmed crit. Yes! Yes! And this will
Starting point is 02:23:39 deal an extra 17 points of damage on top of whatever... No. No, 10. 10. Because I'm only 10th level. I'm sorry, you have 10 levels for a caster person. So add 10 on top of what I said. And you get the clustered shots too, right? Yeah, so there should be no DR for this. Very canny, Grant.
Starting point is 02:23:55 Saving for the second shot. That was very, yeah. Very, very canny. It also wasn't loaded in the gun yet, but it circumstance forced it to be canny. We going to the board? This is a huge, this is a massive crit. Alright. I didn't, I never did. This one is... Please be from
Starting point is 02:24:13 Texas. This might be the last one. We don't know. I certainly don't think Bolsa's is anywhere near dead, because Troy is taking this very lightly. Something fishy is going on. Anyway, but this, thank you to everyone who has submitted
Starting point is 02:24:27 over the years because this one is going to be everything and if it sucks, you're going to hear it from Skid. Yep, sure will.
Starting point is 02:24:34 All right, Dave in Salt Lake City. We're going to you, Dave. You son of a bitch. The title is Bangerang. Oh, a little, uh, Bangerang Oh a little
Starting point is 02:24:46 Bangerang A little EDM action A little Your projectile A book Imagine getting your crit called In the fucking finale Imagine
Starting point is 02:24:56 Getting your crit called In the finale This really better be good Imagine if it sucks Bangerang It is no good It is a bummer Your projectile strikes true
Starting point is 02:25:04 And exits your target at an angle. Well, there are... Okay, striking a second enemy. Okay. Now, it could hit the dragon. Ryan, think about this. I was thinking about Nobby, not even anywhere near him. Double damage for the first target.
Starting point is 02:25:16 The second target must make a successful reflex save or take normal damage. Okay. So it's just quadruple damage, which is not too shabby. My confirm was 32 So DC 32 reflex save for Azareth Akazareth 32?
Starting point is 02:25:33 Alright, Dave failed So normal damage to the dragon Without the bane He's got to roll it He'll roll normal damage So just Quadruple plus 10 He's got to roll it. He'll roll normal damage. So just... Ooh. So it's quadruple plus 10.
Starting point is 02:25:48 And then the dragon takes just regular 11. I don't like anything about your tone right now. I don't like it. Mm-hmm. It's fishy. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Plus 90 is like 109 plus...
Starting point is 02:25:59 Okay, just the Bane once. I had one goal today. Stay cool. You have a towel around your neck. I had one goal today. Stay cool. You have a towel around your neck. I didn't say anything earlier, but yeah, you look like you just walked off the court. Perfect. 124 points of damage
Starting point is 02:26:14 against Volstice. Okay, 124 against Volstice. That'll all go through. How much is that against the dragon? What about the... You gotta roll against the dragon without the Bane. A normal hit Normal bullet Oh just a normal hit Normal bullet hit
Starting point is 02:26:26 I thought it I thought it Oh it failed the It failed the I wasn't listening Because I was doing so much Sorry about that So just rolled a hit
Starting point is 02:26:31 Yeah just like No just rolled the damage For a normal hit With a bullet against a dragon No bane And then still plus Your normal bonus Yeah
Starting point is 02:26:39 What about the mirror image On the dragon though Yes correct Oh okay so I mean it says it hits the target. That's the word. It had a save. I'm subtracting out...
Starting point is 02:26:49 Yeah, this is a crit. I'm going to say it hits the dragon as well. Because he wasn't targeting. 23 points of damage. It also exited him and went straight to his mount. Right. Exited him and hit a thing. Right.
Starting point is 02:26:58 23 points of damage against the dragon. Okay, I'll take that. All right, so note that when you're attacking the dragon. We attack the one he's on. Right. All right, do you think the DR would apply to the dragon as well, or this shot? How does it work? Like, if you attacked one person, right?
Starting point is 02:27:14 Oh, clustered. If he has his own DR, I think that's new. It's new DR. I don't, because I haven't. I think I agree. Yeah. Okay, yeah. Great.
Starting point is 02:27:23 But you got a whole bunch more attacks, don't you? I do. Come on, Jim! Come on't you I do Third attack Natural 20 Almost a misfire 25 against Touch AC That's a hit Oh Adam Fox Grant's fired up man
Starting point is 02:27:42 I'm shaking 28 points of damage on that attack Grant's fired up, man. I'm shaking. 28 points of damage on that attack. Okay. Next attack. That is going to be 21 against touch AC. Yep. 32 points of damage on that attack. And the final attack, thanks to haste.
Starting point is 02:28:04 Maybe of your life uh 21 against touch AC wow okay that's a hit oh my god Baron at the end just unloading 200 plus points of damage 34 points
Starting point is 02:28:23 okay oh my god he's gotta be hurt Loading. 200 plus points of damage. 34 points. Ooh! Okay. Oh my god. Wow. He's gotta be hurt. Does he look hurting? So how many points of damage was that altogether? That was over 200, right?
Starting point is 02:28:34 Something's going on. It's a lot. It was a lot. It was over 200 points. Something is going on, and that's why I looked at Troy. I was like, did it look like it hurt him? I mean, if it did, this guy's fought in a thousand battles. He'd never let it show.
Starting point is 02:28:45 Right. I just mean, is there blood? Oh, there's blood. Oh, there's blood. There will be blood. Give me the blood, Eli. Now I just have to... Give me the blood.
Starting point is 02:28:54 Now I just have to think, did I make the right tactical decision? I think I did because of how much damage was done, but I'm still worried about losing that chance
Starting point is 02:29:02 to take out the Orb of Dragoncon. I really don't think it would have. I don't. Based on what we've observed, it doesn't seem like the effect is connected to his being able to hold it. Except maybe the breath weapon, which is massive, to be fair. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:29:15 Okay. All right. Oh, jeez. Okay. It is Jimmer Hardy's turn. Killer. Okay. All right. I'm's turn. Killer. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 02:29:26 I'm going to do another fly check. To move, right? To five foot step. Five foot. Another fucking failure. Oh. Really? What'd you roll?
Starting point is 02:29:35 Natural five. And that's... Oh, yeah. Because you were at a minus seven. Yeah. So, I'm going to loop around. I'll take an AOL. Okay.
Starting point is 02:29:47 With her amazing plus nine sickle, she swings at you deftly and 33. Yeah, that's a hit. Okay. She's actually pretty strong because she's a giant. Because she's a giant. And that does 34 points of damage. Yeah, I'm going to die. I am definitely going to die in this fight.
Starting point is 02:30:14 Yeah, that's like half my remaining HP. So he's going to swing around to her backside, and... God, this sucks. Like, this is like this another huge huge swing on based on it would tell another terrible fucking die roll it's a difference of like a hundred plus points of damage
Starting point is 02:30:34 to her versus a none to me did like 34 to me and like almost it's a huge swing that roll all right so I hit her and that is 45 points of damage. 45 points of damage. If she had failed that save against the breath weapon, she would be dead. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:31:02 All right, here we go. Big round after Baron just lit Volstice up. This is a big round for me. So let's deal with Nalbia first. Let's look behind the screen for a second. We just stopped for about 35 minutes while Troy sat in silence, stared at the screen, and just kept saying over and over again
Starting point is 02:31:23 that he's sick to his stomach. I'm so nervous I forgot forgotten Albia has blink on, and I should have been making... Oh, blink is great! Doesn't that also negatively affect your attacks, too? My spells. Spells. But I've just been using hexes. Except for the scroll zonies. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:31:39 It all evens out. It's only 20%, John, so it's fine. It's her turn, and she is shitty, as we've established. She just got breath-wrapped by her lover. Lover. Literally, he opened up his mouth and spat fire at her. Lover. Why don't we get her to join us?
Starting point is 02:32:03 Jimmer, talk her into it. I mean, I can see, honestly, just look at the art. Lava. Why don't we get her to join us? Jimmer, talk her into it. I mean, I can see, I honestly, just look at the art, I understand why he turned Gransuldek down. Yeah. He made the right choice. I'd love to see those two side by side, like those two artworks.
Starting point is 02:32:21 It's like you versus the guy she's talking to, like that meme. Like that's what Volstice is. He's a stud. Yeah. I mean, hats off to, like that meme? Like, that's what Volstice is. He's a stud. Yeah. I mean, hats off to him for that, if nothing else. I am going to attempt another hex on you, Jimmer. Will the fourth time be the charm?
Starting point is 02:32:38 Almost certainly. This is a will save. Oh, boy. Oh, man. Come on, baby. Natural three. Oh, no. This is like... Four.
Starting point is 02:32:53 This is a nightmare. What's the total? What's the total? 18. It was DC 18. Wow. Okay. The DCs were so low, that would have been slumbers.
Starting point is 02:33:03 Only a one or a two. And I'm over the edge, too. I'm over the edge of the floor. You've got to fly. Fall slowly. I would have fallen slowly down. You would have lived, but been... It just took 275 episodes to get that right. And now it's Volsys and Akazoret's turn.
Starting point is 02:33:19 Actually, I'm sorry, Metri, you're supposed to go before Nalbium. But I'm just going to do the slumber hex anyways. So what do you want to do? Okay, well, all I can do is move. So it's not that big a deal. I think Nalbia still goes first. It's before Volstis. No, I have Metra, then Nalbia.
Starting point is 02:33:35 Metra rolled the highest in this round. This is round seven. That's important, though, because as I recall, Nalbia has already used her Attack of Opportunity this round. And does she have Combat Reflex reflexes i don't know well metro's gonna move okay and she metro's gonna fly kind of out over the open air okay putting even more distance between her and volstice okay does she take an attack of opportunity? She does not Okay, nice She's very sickle
Starting point is 02:34:08 Um, when that's your turn? Yeah, I'll move a little farther Alright, so then I'll be able to went Renfall continues to play his harp He's now moved on to other Boyz II Men hits And is doing a very slow version of Motown Philly. Motown Philly! Back again!
Starting point is 02:34:29 Back again! Back again! And then it is Volstis and Akazura's turn and Volstis looks too barren and he maybe in some way he knows everything about you.
Starting point is 02:34:44 I feel like there's even a part of him that knows that you've been a part of this since the beginning. You just lit him up now that displacement is off. I mean, hey, Akazareth could cast displacement again on him. And maybe I will after this round. But I am going for the Baron kill right here For real? For real And if I succeed, Baron will be dead
Starting point is 02:35:11 If I fail, Volstis may fall It's possible Can I just say I'm rooting for the fail Not to make it weird You want Baron to die? No, I want you to fail you to fail i see i see thank you i appreciate the uh you're honest i'm i'm gonna say like i know it's not a popular opinion but i'm also on baron's side yeah i've been thinking about it while you guys were talking and i'm pretty sure i'm on baron's side as well okay all right i'm sorry troy no no i am it's
Starting point is 02:35:43 not personal it's business it's not personal it's business and i and i must say no to you and i will give you my reasons i'm not gonna lie this is a huge huge huge huge risk here um he flies forward a little bit. I'm going to use an immediate action. Wait. Okay. What is that action? I'm going to move one of my judgments into fast healing four. Okay. Remember, everyone has fast healing
Starting point is 02:36:15 three, so you should be healing every turn. Unless you've burned your particulate form, which Barret has done. Did you do that, Metro? No. You're still particulate. I'm still particulate. Okay. When did you cast that? Beginning of... Before we started taking damage.
Starting point is 02:36:29 Okay, okay. Awesome. So that's 21 sweet. Awesome. Thank you. First thing's going to happen is Akazareth is going to unleash his breath weapon on Baron and Renfall. Give me a reflex save.
Starting point is 02:36:44 Now, of course, with this fast healing the Baron has enacted I would have to take him below his con For him not to eventually come back to life Should we get to that point We may not So why are we even talking about it Joe Cause you wanna make me real nervous I don't know why I answered when you asked Joe
Starting point is 02:37:00 I've been doing this 7 years now Why tonight's the anniversary That is a 32 when you asked Joe. I've been doing this seven years now. Why, tonight's the anniversary. Tonight's the anniversary. Uh, that is a 32. Oh, there we go. Okay. Okay, good. You will take, uh,
Starting point is 02:37:14 40, excuse me, excuse me, 48 points of fire damage. It was 96 originally? Wow. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. God, unbelievable. Baron, for the millions listening at home, how are you looking?
Starting point is 02:37:31 I'm looking real narsty, Troy. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Looking like 74 out of 182 hit points. 74. Oh, no. Out of 182 hit points. Oh, I thought you had more than that.
Starting point is 02:37:47 I really did. It's Volstice's turn. Oh, excuse me. I got to see if Renfall passed. Where's old Renny? It's a reflex. Maybe he was sprightly as a young man, but he failed.
Starting point is 02:38:05 So he will take all 96 points of damage He's writhing Isn't he incorporeal? Yeah, I take half again So only 43 points of damage. Ah! What is he doing for our benefit? He's distracting Volstis.
Starting point is 02:38:36 Volstis will take a penalty to attacks, and he has to roll every time to see if he's flat-footed, and I keep making that roll because I'd have to roll. Oh, Volstis has to roll every time. The way you described it before, it's not like Renfall had to roll. He's so into the performance he goes flat footed.
Starting point is 02:38:56 Baron sways side to side, blood dripping from his nose. Wipes the blood off on his wrist, his pistol in his hand. Wipes his wrist back over the blood off on his wrist, his pistol in his hand, wipes his wrist back over the other side of his mouth, giving him a crimson smile as he looks up. Come at me, you big son of a bitch. Ain't a single one of your kind been able to do it yet.
Starting point is 02:39:21 I failed them all, and I'm going to fail you too. Come on, Bubba. And he unleashes a breath weapon on you. Do it hand to hand, you coward. Come at me with your falcata. If you're a man enough, I don't think you are, you coward. You're a coward. Get off that dragon and fight me hand to hand.
Starting point is 02:39:46 I need a reflex aid. So are you pulling out an axe? Is it a spell spell like ability? It's a breath. Well, I feel like those are. It might be just because he said from an item or something. Oh, sure. For both of us, it might be.
Starting point is 02:40:00 I'm just curious about dragon breath. Yeah. You know, that's like if it's a person who's not a dragon, because dragon breath is a spell. Oh, it is. And this might be unnecessary. Well, no, I mean not if a dragon is doing it, but if a spellcaster has a spell that will...
Starting point is 02:40:15 Well, Grant, what did you get without the bonus? Because it might be... It might be me, which is what I just said. 36. 36 without the bonus? Yeah, you're fine. I mean, you're probably going to die. You will take half damage, which I have to do the math on here.
Starting point is 02:40:30 Well, it's not Dragon's Breath the spell. That maxes at 12d6. Okay. He's got something else going on. You take 62 points of damage. Oh, my God. But you didn't die. I'm standing.
Starting point is 02:40:44 I still have positive 8 points. Holy shit, dude. That my god. But you didn't die. I'm standing. I still have positive A points. Holy shit, dude. That's it. Okay, this is it. Troy, a wise man once said, if you come for the king, you best not miss. And he came for the king. And he missed. I left you with like a...
Starting point is 02:40:59 That was 36 D10 worth of damage. Oh my god. 20 and 10. 20 and 16 D10. Then halved. Then halved, of course. Renfall. If he rolled a natural one, he'd be permanently dead. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:41:12 Or even just a lower save. Renfall fails again. It's so hot! Damn it! I want Renfall's HP pool. That guy's taken like 800 points. Well, he's in corporeal, so... I considered going in corporeal and joining Renfall for early on in this battle, but then I was like, that could make me irrelevant. Uh, okay.
Starting point is 02:41:48 And I believe, unless I am mistaken. Are you, you're not on the ground, right? You're flying? Yeah. Uh, yeah, I'm, I'm still like, I think I'm, I don't know how high I am, but we've been able to, I've been flying so far. Give me a ballpark of how high you are. 10, 20, somewhere in there.
Starting point is 02:42:09 So he will threaten you if you shoot, unless you move away and take one hit. Can I five-foot step? No, he's got 15 feet of reach. Does the dragon threaten as well? I don't know. I can look that up. I can tell you that. Dragons usually have reach.
Starting point is 02:42:25 I mean, he's probably got 15 feet. Yeah, it's a gargantuan dragon. He's got 20 feet or 20 feet of reach. Anywhere 15 to 20. You're not 100% sure. That was Volsus and a Khazareth. It is Sir Will's turn. How you doing there, Sir Will?
Starting point is 02:42:41 Sir Will, he's in bad shape, but it's time to get back into the fight it's too long so uh this is it he's been waiting in the wings and healing and healing and trying to get himself squared away so he says lexington resets himself on the saddle he's focused on the sheriff we need to buy the sheriff some time Let's Let's get in there and finish this thing You and me boy Fly Barry He whispers into his ear
Starting point is 02:43:13 And then he's gonna ride up Past Renflaw Through him Oh interesting This is interesting I was thinking about not being able to charge through his square, but I'm flying. He's incorporeal. He's also incorporeal, yeah.
Starting point is 02:43:29 So, could I charge? I have the movement and everything. It's just about the obstacle in the middle. Is Renfall an obstacle? He's incorporeal. Like, you can fly right through him. He's a ghost. Also, I think you can fly over him.
Starting point is 02:43:39 Yeah, I think that we're both over Renfall, right? Like, I'm... Yeah, I think it's safe to say that you could charge over, but it's certainly more cool if you charge through and he's an ally that's incorporeal. So, for the sake of cool,
Starting point is 02:43:51 I think you could have done it without doing that, but we'll say for the screenplay that's eventually written, you charge through. I just love the image of him bursting out
Starting point is 02:44:01 with this ghostly form of... As Renfall, wracked with pain, is still trying to strum his harp. Yeah. Wouldn't it be amazing if when you whispered into Lexington's ear and said, for Highbury, Lexington looked back at you and said, for Highbury. It would have been awesome. Get black buns, plenty of friends, and all the Philly steaks you can eat.
Starting point is 02:44:26 Really taking his time with the Motown filly. All right, this is it. We're going to get in there and try to buy Baron some time. Oh, boy. Sir Will whispers this to Lexington. And then he says, fly, boy, like you've never flown before. He begins to level his spear and he shouts across the gap between them. Volstice!
Starting point is 02:44:50 You've tried to take out the sheriff, and you have failed. And now you will find. The end has come! Because you see, it's not just the sheriff in front of you. He begins moving. It is I and Jim and Metra. And this is for Omlo and Ingrid. And he's like, starts picking up speed.
Starting point is 02:45:15 And Pembroke and Feraza. And fucking whoever else. Nuston. Gormley. Chathamule. And look. Barry Connick Jr. He screams at the top of his lungs. Fucking. And yeah, he's just losing it because he feels like this is the last charge of the Rojira, right? This is it.
Starting point is 02:45:36 And he charges and stops. Cat Benatar! Cat Benatar! If I'm fucking rolling that, I'm going to be so... Roderick Brown! Roderick! Jess, I'm looking at you.
Starting point is 02:45:54 The first casualty of the war. And I'm wondering what you're going to roll. Wondering if that table can handle Leon's luck. Is there anything we can do to... I think I will fight if Buddy is at this point. Get out of the blast radius. Put on your Gallagher splash gear. Who are you attacking?
Starting point is 02:46:10 Volstis, obviously, not Akazareth? Yeah. I'm going to fly and do... Actually, you know what? This is going to be interesting. Let's do a... Can I do a right-by-attack if we're flying? Yeah, why not?
Starting point is 02:46:29 Yeah, I mean... I've been doing it all day. Well, I only did Dementor. Okay. All day. Okay, great. So he's just going to change his angle slightly because he can do double Lexington speed,
Starting point is 02:46:40 and he will go past him. So similar to exactly what Volstisice did he's going to go past and tilt uh so you've got to fly at an angle but you can still only go in a straight line yes uh and uh okay here we go please crit and by doing the ride by attack it does not provoke an ao this is what we just went through when he did it to metra um it would provoke an AO from the dragon it's not the target it only doesn't provoke from your target so I'm
Starting point is 02:47:11 okay then I'm going to ride by and tilt in 90 17 we'll see what it is and you already cast smite evil didn't you I did I'm so glad I got that I only ask because his AC is. And you already cast Smite Evil, didn't you? I did. I'm so glad I got that. What's the total?
Starting point is 02:47:25 I only ask because his AC is higher against you because you're good and he has protection from good. The total is 49. Hit. Yes! Yes! Okay. All right, here we go. Oh! 4, 5, 6 on 3d6. Nice!, here we go. Oh!
Starting point is 02:47:46 Four, five, six on 3D6. Nice! Phenomenal. That is 78 points of damage. As the goodness of my own death strikes! And now I can die in peace. Still up. Okay, now.
Starting point is 02:48:02 This is mechanically relevant, and I'm saying it's part of the narrative As I passed by Baron And did this attack The strength of this attack Has so invigorated Baron With the blessings of Iomaday That I am spending
Starting point is 02:48:17 This is a free action Two uses of my smite evil To give him the ability to smite evil Against Volstead Which we've done once before And you have a free action available, right? It's a free action of my smite evil to give him the ability to smite evil against Volstis. Oh, wow. Which we've done once before. Wow. And you have a free action available, right?
Starting point is 02:48:28 You didn't. It's a free action. It's a free action. Yeah, it says this is a free action. Any allies within 10 feet, you know, you can do this. And so as long as you're cool with me doing it as part of the tournament, it's a free action. Yeah. And I just want to say it's a...
Starting point is 02:48:40 Free action can be done at any time. Free action can be done at any time. So basically, yeah, you'll get a huge boost to your AC and then a huge boost to your damage, which I can tell you if you decide. You'll need to know. I'd love to know. Yeah. It's kind of important information for Baron at this point in the game.
Starting point is 02:48:55 So two more uses of my Smite Evil. Thank you, Jeff. Okay. Okay. All right. That was Sir Will's turn. And now it is Baron's turn. Baron, obviously the dragon and Volstice threaten you.
Starting point is 02:49:19 Wait. Don't I go after Sir Will? No, you go top of the round. It goes Sir Will, Baron, Jimmer, new round, Metra. Oh, Baron's at the end. Yeah. Well, Jimmer's at the end. Baron, yeah.
Starting point is 02:49:32 So Baron, the Dragon, and Volstis are... There's really no way you can move without provoking. So you're... Just laying it out here for you. You can take these shots, but the aoos would happen first and you're sitting on what 12 14 hit points i think um just hold yeah i'm i'm holding okay but i want to know what my bonus ac is anyway yeah uh your bonus is plus seven deflection bonus so it doesn't stack with any existing deflection but but it'll probably be more. Yeah, I just had to figure out what it is.
Starting point is 02:50:06 So plus seven deflection bonus to AC and you'll do an additional 17 points of damage on each shot. Okay, I will hold. I'm going to add plus seven deflection bonus and if my AC does not go up by seven
Starting point is 02:50:22 Hero Lab will have done its job. We hope. Yeah, no. It'll be taking it out. Can you full withdraw while flying? Anybody know that off the top of their head? Yeah. Can I, do I miss all attacks of opportunity?
Starting point is 02:50:38 So if you were to shoot right now, or figure five and seven shoot, both the dragon and Volsys would go first, I'm assuming. But if I were to full withdraw, would I get out of all those attacks? How does that work? Only the first square, right? Only the first square, so you would still
Starting point is 02:50:53 take hits. One hit from both of them? Metra, you happen to glance back and you see Metra fluttering in the wind, and you see the camera zooms in on her. She holds up a finger I think Baron as a character
Starting point is 02:51:10 he's been playing up like he flashes back to when he was a younger man when he first met Lork and maybe he did have some of the old hate in his heart that he expressed towards orcs and he regrets that knowing Lork as a friend made him grow as a person
Starting point is 02:51:26 and made him understand just like these giants the same thing happened with a tenna in minder halls valley he does not hate all giants when he said your kind i killed them all bubba all the things he said earlier that was in an effort to enrage volstice to bring him to him it was not an expression of hate in baron heart. It was bravado. He looks back at Metra and knows that she has always had a plan. They wink at each other, but he's still just laughing as he pulls the blood away from his face and holds. Holds.
Starting point is 02:52:00 Fuck. It is now Jimmer's turn. Jimmer, I will be bringing back the 20% mischance that I've forgotten. But if you succeed on your fly, you'll still get the full attack. One last chance at this fly check. Come on, Jimmer. All of them so far. Dude, if you don't fail this one, it...
Starting point is 02:52:22 So, all this time, he's kind of struggling in midair like trying to keep his balance in this new he's not used to being being up in the air if it's not being subject to gravity but he's a footwork expert but suddenly it all clicks for him and his feet settle into place as if he's standing on solid ground and they shift into the most sinister familiar form. And he dips his wrist and whoo! Brings Terminus S down with full force as he makes his... And that's a critical threat with natural 18. Oh!
Starting point is 02:52:56 Critical threat! You're done! Critical threat! Do you want to roll the confirm or the 20% miss chance? I'll roll the miss chance. Okay, just get 21 or higher. 65. Roll to confirm the crit.
Starting point is 02:53:12 Okay, come on. Natural 17 on the confirm. Oh, phenomenal. Joe, what do you got? Now perhaps the last crit. All right, maybe now this is the last one. Mason from Saskatchewan. Hi, Mason.
Starting point is 02:53:27 Is that another? Oh, that's Canada. Yeah, yeah. What was it? I don't remember. Anyway, this one is, ooh, you'll like this one, Skip. Legacy of Gimli. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 02:53:39 Oh. The explanation is, no one tosses a dwarf. Deal normal damage. The explanation is, no one tosses a dwarf. Deal normal damage. For the next 1d3 rounds, you may roll twice and take the higher result on any saving throws. Oh, that's huge. Oh, well, for now. That is huge.
Starting point is 02:53:55 That's a good grip. Oh, my God. And he's toe-to-toe with her. So if you don't kill her, her hexes are going to, wow. Well, if the dragon evoles to survive, too, the breath weapons are going to get to roll twice. if the dragon and Volsha survive, too, the breath weapons are going to get to roll twice. That might save your life. That's big, too.
Starting point is 02:54:10 So, yeah. So it's normal damage, but I am, as my weapon master ability, I'm going to enact a deadly critical, which will increase the crit multiplier by one. Okay. So it'll be double damage. Oh, wow. Amazing. All right So it'll be double damage. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 02:54:26 Amazing. All right, deadly crit, double damage, and then how many? 1d3 rounds? 1d3 rounds. Wow. Okay.
Starting point is 02:54:35 What a battle. Okay. What a battle. Okay. That is 89 points of damage. Please, describe your character. So, yeah, so he's settled and finally, like, finds his feet, and he's, like, rock steady up in the air.
Starting point is 02:54:56 His arm dips, like a subtle, like, sort of dip of his wrist as he generates maximum momentum and splits her skull with Terminus' S. Brains and blood spatter all over his face and the ground below. All over her white dress. All over your white dress. Okay, Nalbia will not be sitting beside Volstis.
Starting point is 02:55:22 Stupid witch. So that was my first attack, so I'm going to take a move action. Okay. And let's see. I'm going to try to get up. And hasten. Yeah, I can get there.
Starting point is 02:55:35 So he's going to shoot over right up next to Volstis. Oh, dude, we're closing on Volstis and the dragon, by the way, which might cause some people to panic. Okay. I didn't even frighten them. I just mean, like, they might lash out
Starting point is 02:55:54 and just start doing, you know, six attacks a round. It could get bad. Oh, and Jimmer's still in rough shape with HP. Yeah, I'm just like just trying to provide another threat. It's round eight. It's Metra's turn. Just remove Nalbeer from the tracker.
Starting point is 02:56:12 What do you got up your sleeve? None. I know your spell list. You know what I'm exactly going to do. I don't know what you're going to do, because there's a couple different options, so I'm curious. Really? Yeah, well, I don't know. I think, but I don't know.
Starting point is 02:56:22 Metra is going to come flying in full speed. She's going to do exactly what she always does. And she's going to wrap her arms around Baron. Hungry Pit? Hungry Pit. Hungry Pit the Neon. Oh, no. We've always wanted to explore.
Starting point is 02:56:34 She's going to wrap her arms around Baron. And she's going to Dimension Duras back about, oh, 10 feet. So that he's out of there. 20 feet? 50 feet. 40 feet. How old do you want to be baron hold on hold on before you get into that how is that not going to provoke like you being there is it a spell like bell and i he has a 15 foot reach right right i'm not and i can be within
Starting point is 02:56:57 20 feet no oh well the dragon has 20 feet of reach well then all this guy's well you don't know that uh let me see i think we do know that We said that it's a gargantuan dragon. I didn't tell you, but I just wanted to look. Its reach is 15. So if you were to take the long way around, assuming you have the fly speed, where you are standing right there to the northwest of Baron would not provoke. Beautiful. Nice.
Starting point is 02:57:21 Nice. You think I wasn't measuring this out the whole time? You know, though, you would be leaving Jimmer alone with both of them. We're only going back a few feet. We're going back however many feet Baron wants to go. But enough that Baron can now take his action. Yep. Baron will kill Volstis before his turn.
Starting point is 02:57:37 Exactly. It's Volstis' turn next. No, Baron held your action. Baron held. Wait, you held your action? Yes. That's why. He's waiting for Metro.
Starting point is 02:57:44 Remember we winked at each other? Oh, that's right. So he's dead. Oh, that's why. He's waiting for Metro. Remember we winked at each other? Oh, that's right. So he's dead. Oh, it's huge. It's huge. This is huge. That's not what I thought you were going to do. You just...
Starting point is 02:57:51 Yeah. All of a sudden, Baron just feels Metro's arms around him, and we just blink out of distance and then reappear 20 feet back. Holy shit. Now, Baron, do you want to take your turn now? Yes. Okay. All right, Baron, do you want to take your turn now? Yes. Okay. All right, Baron, it is your turn.
Starting point is 02:58:09 And she whispers in your ear, strike true. I will. And here comes the first attack with a plus 17 to damage. That is going to be a 35 against touch. Yes! 35 against touch is a hit. And to be clear, I wanted to go far enough back to where they could not five foot step
Starting point is 02:58:32 toward this and do full attack action. And I just want to check while he's doing his addition. Uh, whatever I did, what did I do? 78. Uh, that was,
Starting point is 02:58:40 that all went through just as a reminder in case you've added any DR. Okay. We got Bear Bear. 31 points of damage on the first attack. 31 points of damage on the first attack. He's still up. Oh, plus 17. 48.
Starting point is 02:58:57 I'm sorry. What's the plus 17 for again? For Smite Evil. Smite Evil, yep. Still up. This is on all of my attacks? Yes. All your attacks.
Starting point is 02:59:03 Oh, my God. I think you also get a bonus on the two hit. Yeah, you get a bonus on the two hit equal to my charisma bonus. I think you get a plus seven to hit. I mean, I think you'd hit on anything but a misfire anyway. There's a 31 to hit, and that is 54 points of damage on the second attack. Okay, he's on the ropes. You asked me before, how did he look?
Starting point is 02:59:26 Now he looks hurt. He's got bullet holes after bullet holes after bullet holes. It is plus seven to him. You offered us no quarter, no mercy, no room in your world to exist. Well, I offer you none of mine! Oh, shit! It is a two, which is a misfire,
Starting point is 02:59:49 but I have a luck reservoir in my gun, which I am going to expend now to avoid that misfire. Holy shit! So it's just a plain miss? Wait, maybe not. It may not be with a two, so it is not a misfire.
Starting point is 03:00:01 Do you get the plus seven to hit with the Smite Evil? So that is 21 plus seven, 28 plus two, yeah, 30 to hit. Okay, so the Luck Reservoir, it not only takes away the misfire, it makes it an active shot, right? It doesn't just negate the misfire. Just make sure we're getting that right. Sure, well, I'll read up right now. Lucky Firearm has its own magical reservoir of grit.
Starting point is 03:00:22 Usually this grit is stored within the marks of an engraving or a trinket that hangs from the arm. Refresh at the start of each day. She can always spend one grit point of the lucky firearm to re-roll and attack. Re-roll and attack. So that's what the rule is. Okay, do you have grit left? It's in the gun. It's in the gun. And it's refreshed at the beginning of the day and I have not used it today.
Starting point is 03:00:39 Alright, so re-roll that attack. Okay, that is going to be a 37 to hit. Dude, it's happening. Yes! He's so excited. 58 points of damage. Oh!
Starting point is 03:01:00 You line up that shot. And we see in slow motion The bullet exit Your muzzle and fly Towards Volstice who For the first time since you've seen him Looks weak Blood pouring out of various holes
Starting point is 03:01:18 On his body And it hits him right between the eyes And he falls Yes! Yes. Yes! Yes! Oh, yes! Boom! Yes!
Starting point is 03:01:37 The orb falls out of his hand and just rolls straight off into nowhere. Grab it! At that moment, as the breath exits his body and he takes his last bend and switch, all of a sudden all of you hear the loudest single explosion
Starting point is 03:01:55 you've ever heard and the entire castle, even though you're not standing on it, shakes. If you look down over the edge, you see chunks of the bottom of the castle just falling off. And it starts to go down. Oh my god. And we'll see you next week.
Starting point is 03:02:12 For the finale! No! No! No fucking way! No! Chipper lips! I can't believe it I can't believe it I want to cry
Starting point is 03:02:27 I want to fucking cry too oh my god that was the hardest comment thanks for listening to the Glass Cannon Network for more podcasts and live streams visit glasscannonnetwork.com. And for exclusive shows and content you can't find anywhere else, subscribe today at patreon.com slash glasscannon. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated.
Starting point is 03:03:01 Giant Slayer is copyright 2015. Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo. All Pathfinder images are property of Paizo and are used with permission. We see a wide open field somewhere on Galarian. It's calm. There's trees. Might even be the sound of a river somewhere nearby. And suddenly, the stillness is broken by the sound of something falling.
Starting point is 03:03:57 And suddenly, the orb of Dragonkind lands on the ground somewhere in Galarian. It lands so hard that it makes like a crater-sized hole. And then we just see feet walking along the ground. Oh, no. Walking along the ground no walking along the ground down into the crater all the way up to the orb
Starting point is 03:04:30 and then we pan from the feet of the body to see Brander how is he always in the exact right place and Brander just looks up at the sky and we'll see you next week oh god oh god we grabbed it i'm sorry but that's not in uh taliat's original vision. You've been thanking him so much.

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