The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 37 - The No Pants Flute Dance

Episode Date: February 9, 2016

Gormlaith plays a desperate gambit in order to protect Lorc in his investigation of the ship's secret hatch! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast... If I were to play my flute sometime, would you maybe dance to the flute? I would love that. We should totally do that. Gormley has a magical connection with Halrex, but the rest of the team is treading water with Rag. But if there's a chance that they could find out that you did it, there could be mutiny on this ship, and I will not stand for it. Baron tries something risky. This is the most nervous skill check I've ever done.

A dangerous trap is sprung. Around the doorknob, something comes out to, like, grab your hand, like ropes to grab your hand. And a member of the crew makes a huge mistake. He swings at Lork. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. It's about to go down. He goes to roll initiative?

Yep. You want to roll initiative right now? Yep, everybody roll initiative. The adventure continues right now. What is up everyone? Welcome back to another installment of the glass cannon podcast i am joe your resident pain in the ass rules lawyer and alter ego of the character with the most roles under five in the game lieutenant lork iron tusk how he got promoted is beyond me uh thanks to everyone out there who has been spreading the word about the show. Word is getting out there.

Reviews are coming in. We've been peppering you guys about it week in and week out, and we thank you for responding. Thanks to Fletchy18 and PokeyTrader for your guys' awesome reviews. Thanks to Rainbow16 who said, quote, don't kill Lork. Thank you, Rainbow16. I think we understand each other. Thank you, Rainbow 16. I think we understand each other. We're getting a lot of emails now, more and more, from people that are starting to play now because of the podcast.

It's awesome. They're either starting for the first time or maybe just like we were, like getting back into it after having not played for years. And some, like Kevin in Fresno, California, who took inspiration from the show to start his own Pathfinder Club in the school where he teaches, bringing the joys of role-playing to middle schoolers, a tale as old as time. That is where I started playing D&D, and it was the best. It's so awesome, man. We're so glad you're doing that. Just make sure your kids are not listening to the Glass Cannon podcast when Troy and Matthew role-play Gormormley's night of passion with rag blood tusk though it might teach them a thing or two if you've got stories about starting your own rpg up because of the show or otherwise please write into glass cannon podcast at gmail.com and tell us about it tell us about the successes and definitely tell

us about the epic fails. Those are the best. Last week on our show, if you remember, Lork uncovered a hidden stairwell leading deeper into the ship. That was the last shot, if you will. I wonder what's down there. Perhaps we can find out this week. Perhaps Lork won't fail his stealth check to go down the stairs. Oh, that's just a fantasy. We all know he's going to fail his stealth check to go down the stairs. Let's just get on with it. Enjoy episode 37, the no pants flute dance. Who put out the snack tray on my maps?

I didn't know he had snacks. It's a new monster. I'm going to go Eminem, because dairy's good for your voice, right? Yeah, yeah. Awesome. What do you guys want to do today? You want to play a little Pathfinder? We've been looking forward to it, yeah. I didn't have any plans, but yeah, sure.

All right, I got an hour to kill. How'd this mic end up in front of me? This is really convenient. Where am I? What year is this? Who's the president? Ronald Reagan? The actor?

The actor? Who's the vice president? Jerry Lewis? Who's the, I suppose the first lady is Jane Wyman? Oh boy. Okay, so last episode was a real humdinger. I still have my dice. I did not destroy them because oddly enough,

they don't melt when you put them in the oven. I was thinking about it, and that was basically the opposite of the Shadow Rat fight. The exact opposite. It was the anti-Shadow Rat fight. Yeah, yeah. Troy, I was feeling a little bad about last episode, so I have a little bit of a gift for you. I thought the M&Ms were the gift.

No, they're just there for fun. The gift is that I think we actually all owe you an apology. Oh. Wait, wait a minute. Slow down. We didn't talk about this ahead of time. No, we didn't. I'm sorry. So I did a little Wikipedia research.

As one does. As one does. And there are such things as freshwater river sharks. Aha. No, all right. That's true, but they're very small, and they're always connected to a saltwater outlet. This is an entirely freshwater system that empties into a freshwater giant lake.

Skids got some nerding to do. It is time for... Read it. I read that same article. Read it. Read it. You'll see. Oh, man.

So you both separately and independently looked up river sharks just to see. Wait, did you go to the subspecies of Ganges shark? No, I didn't see the Ganges shark. But the Ganges... The nerd fight. The Ganges... Nerd fight. He's got his pencil. He's got his number two pencil. Ganges shark. But the Ganges... The nerd fight. The Ganges... Nerd fight. He's got his pencil.

He's got his number two pencil. Ganges empties into the Indian Ocean. Well, this is what I'm curious about. I'm trying to give you... I'm going to throw you a bone. I thought you were going to start arguing that all rivers empty into the Indian Ocean. I was like, Matthew, don't go down that road.

Does the Wikipedia take into account the fantasy world of Galarian? Meaning it's not. Where you were just attacked by a four-armed gorilla on drugs. Yeah, clearly on drugs. That was our most gorilla-packed episode yet.

We need more of those. That was a fun one. And talk about a cliffhanger. So do you guys remember what happened at the end? I remember stairs. That's what I remember. You remember stairs. Well, yeah I remember. You remember stairs. Well, yeah, so again, split party. You got Gormley running interference on Halrex

because Lork is in the other room. Just found some creaky floorboards that don't seem to be where they should be. Meanwhile, Rag Bloodtusk is going up to look for his ledger, which happens to be in Baron's pocket. And Galabras, with some slick diplomacy, is like, maybe we should follow you up deck to keep you safe, giant half-orc gladiator.

The little boy and the dwarf will keep you safe. But he's like, yeah, you're right. So Rag's going up the ladder, and Baron and Galabras are right behind him, and then Lork lifts the floorboard and sees a staircase leading down below deck. And I was saying before that this really reminds me of the last episode of the first season of Lost

when they blow the hatch, and there's just the ladder leading down. Hey, ABC, you want to sue us? Go ahead and fucking sue us. Jesus, no, no, no. No, don't, please don't. You know what will happen now? This will be like a Lork flashback episode.

Yeah. It'll be like true now, maybe 50 years ago, and you see like a young half-orc running around causing trouble at the end of the episode you see he was in a wheelchair the whole time it kind of walks out perfectly he runs by and it's a younger gormley yeah in the background yeah why don't we just write that i want to see the prequels i think that's fun be way better than the star wars prequels lorks he'll be way better than the Star Wars prequels. Lorks. It'd be way better than your shitty apes. Speaking of shitty apes,

what do you guys want to do? Well, what should we resolve first? What should we... Roll for addition. No. I'm interested to see how they're going to get out of this cockamamie scheme.

Me too, me too. They've got a stolen ledger. No, I love it, though. You know what it is? It's like the episode cuts away with seeing the stairs, and you're waiting all week to see what's down the stairs. And we're not going to find out until the second commercial break.

The first thing they do is they go, yeah, they lead you in with something else. Okay. It's great, though. I want to see how this is going to go down. All right, so Rag is climbing the ladder, and he is starting to approach the chart room. What is going on between the brothers Grimm here as I take another sweet treat?

Well, last episode, you saw Baron awkwardly ask Galabras for a bit of luck. Yes. Which he imparted to him via a congratulatory handshake after having fell the horror of the Mwangi Expanse. And so what's going on in Baron's head is that he's going to use some of his dexterous capabilities that he's earned over the years of being a gunslinger once we get up there. And I don't want to say too much else to tip off anyone, but...

You mean Troy? You don't want to tip off Troy? Bet you're wishing you got those rogue levels now with some sleight of hand. Galabras, what are you doing? Are you just kind of there in case shit goes down? What's happening with Galabras? Yeah, I'm following, and I'm acting like a bodyguard.

You can be my bodyguard. You can be my bodyguard. You can be my long-lost pal. No. Never. But I feel like... Yeah, so I'm following up, and I'm just, like, saying, you've said that you've never had any problems like this before. Where is this? Why do you think this is happening now?

Do you think it has something to do with us? That's the only thing I can think of, and I don't mean to push blame on you, but I've known these men, most of them, for years, several years. It just doesn't make sense that this would happen. So I don't know if one of you is causing trouble, or if it's that damned Wolverine, but something ain't right. I just can't believe that it would be one of my men. And he opens the door to the chart room.

Now, where'd I put that ledger? Where did you have it lost? It's always right here next to the map. It's weird. It doesn't seem right. Look at this. Wait. And I wait for Baron to get in position to where we can...

Baron is going to... And I say, is it here? This is a very fancy chest. Is it in there? Do you have the key? Have someone put it away. It's not in the chest. It's right here on that table.

Let me just move these papers around. No, look. See, if I had something that important, I'd put it in this chest. This is a very nice chest. Baron is going to attempt a sleight of hand check to place the ledger onto Rag's blood test body, as opposed to taking it away from him.

Onto his body? Onto his person? Well, maybe on the table. Infinitely easier check. He's going to try to slip it between his thighs. Into his very card piece. I've given birth to a ledger. Definitely.

Is this your card? Okay, roll your sleight of hand. As I almost drop my dice cup. All right, this is the most nervous skill check I've ever done. I'll let you know that I just rolled Rag's perception check. 22. Ah, here it is.

Yeah. That was a 13 and a 15 on the die. There it is. I had a 19 perception. Wow. You know something? As Desna says, it's always in the last place you look. I

don't believe in your false gods, but all right. Here it is. We found it. Now let me see. It smells of stable mucking. All right. Smells of beard. All right. Smells of beard. Tog. Tog.

He's one of the twins, right? Yeah, he was the one. The one who was being withholding. Yeah, the withholding twin. It's always the withholding twin. I would say he probably gets off on being withholding. Yeah. Here's some money, guys.

Thanks, Lucille. Go see a Star War. Yeah, he's like Tog he's a good man I don't understand why I'm sure there's a explanation for this but either way look at the trouble he's caused let me ask you

what do you suggest we do well as I suggested before the other day, I do have this ability that I can summon upon to compel telling of the truth. And if we'll submit to it, we can give it a go. Magic? You're going to cast a spell on my men?

Yes. Well, one particular man. I won't even let you bless the food and now you want to be casting your sorcery on them? I just don't think I can allow it. Well, the food

was not guilty of treachery. Oh, my God. As far as we know. Oh, my God. Let me ask you this. Is there a chance the spell could fail and they might be aware

of what you're doing? Because it's one thing if I turn against them and allow this witchcraft, but if there's a chance that they could find out that you did it, there could be mutiny on this ship, and I will not stand for it. Well, um...

My plan was to do it with their full knowledge, but if that's not an option, I'm not certain that it will work. Like a polygraph. Will you submit yourself?

Why don't we talk to talk? That is another thing we could do. I would like to talk to his brother as well, just in case there's any confusion. Separately. I'm not there. I'm just thinking this. I'm thinking this up to his brother as well, just in case there's any confusion. Shark. Separately. Yes. I'm not there. I'm just thinking this. I just heard a woman's voice.

I'm thinking this up to Galabras. You can go about your business. Move along. No, I think we should talk to them both, but separately, yes. Well, it's almost time for dinner. We're going to be working on that dwarf. I know you're still working on the rail.

Is there a chance you can help down below deck to maybe patch up that hole in the wall? Is that something you could do? Yeah, absolutely I could help you out. I don't want to sink. All right. I guess you'll be needing a key to that room. All right. I guess you'll be needing a key to that room. Well, I'll have one of my men work with you, supervise, so he can let you in and out.

You don't want to paint yourself into a corner. With all due respect, I'd rather have someone on my own team working with me on this one. Right, but as you can understand, we can't leave the armory open, especially if there's treachery on deck. Can't have people coming in and out of there. I keep it locked at all times. Well, let's talk about strategy then. And I just want to keep him occupied for 10 minutes, knowing that Lorik is trying to explore below decks, whatever he's doing.

So I'm just kind of running around in circles. Okay. Flash to look. Beautiful. You stealth stealthily lift up the boards and you see a staircase leading down. So he'll look

up and he looks at like sort of out the hole in the wall and he can see Gormley has got Hal Rex's full attention. Now do you bathe on the ship? Do you... Generally, what do you do? I don't like

you. Let me ask you a question. Would you like me better with a scorpion? I don't like your scorpion either. Oh, jeez. She's very disagreeable. But if we run out of fish from your idiot friends

who lost all of it back into the water, maybe we'll cook up your scorpion for dinner tonight. I assure you he wouldn't taste good. He eats mostly paper. He's not a 100% scroll diet. Burnt offerings. Can I ask?

So they have their, they continue their weird conversation. Okay, so it is, is it easy enough for me to see down in there? You can see sort of a cramped room down there. Also very low ceilings. But enough, more room than what you have there.

This is all like underwater. So you would be able to move about freely as far as you can tell. And you can see like maybe a door down the bottom of the stairs in the room. Okay. So it's like a, what is it, 10 by 10 room? Like pretty, so it's a small room in a door? It's probably around like 25 feet and then it narrows as it reaches the front of the boat. That's a big area.

Yeah, it's 25 feet long in its longest part, but then it kind of... And how far down does it go? It goes down far enough that I'm not cramped or squeezed or whatever? Or are you squeezed?

Yeah, I don't think you're squeezed. Okay. But let me guess. You have the right to go back and change that mid-combat later? Correct. Find out the right answer. All right. So I'll start sort of down the steps.

And I don't see anything. Like there's no debris. There's no stuff. There's no gold, treasure, magical weapons. You see at least seven or eight magical weapons that you can tell even without detect magic. Nice. They're magical.

Sure. And no traps whatsoever. No, there are shelves all along the wall, and they're kind of raised up to keep the ship's more questionable cargo safe from flooding. Okay. And there's like water uh puddling on the floor um so they keep everything up above that got it um and there is a obviously

you're coming down the steps from this we'll call it a trap door uh and then at the bottom there's a shorter set of steps that descends down to a door, and that's the door that you saw. And so what happens is down those steps, your height is normal. You know what I mean? But you're cramped when you first walk in looking at the shelves. But if you were to descend those steps to the door, you can move about freely. Holy shit, man.

Damn, bro. This is like a riverboat. Like how deep is it underwater? Yeah. Oh, man. Damn, bro. This is like... This is a riverboat. Like, how deep is it underwater? Yeah. Oh, God. And, you know, Gormley is probably not the most charming person talking to Halrex above. Now's the time for the charmed person.

Yeah, I mean... To let Lork walk in there. Yeah, can I try charmed person on? Yeah, well, I don't know. I don't think that's necessary. I mean, I think you're going to see me coming back out. I didn't realize it would be such a big space. I don't want to go exploring around by myself down there.

To make it clear, the space is the size of the armory, essentially. And you can see right there on the map. Oh, okay. So it's not huge, it's just... But there's a door going what, deeper into the ship? Deeper into the ship. Yeah.

And you would imagine goes the length of the ship. Yeah. Whew. Check it out. Yeah. Yeah, I see it. Check it.

All right. All right. Gromit's like, so have you read any good books lately? Check it, alright Alright Gormy's like, so have you read any good books lately? Um Anything that my scorpion would be interested in eating

He enjoys pages I don't read Why are you bothering me? I just think that you and I Are two birds with a feather What's your friend doing over there? He's dealing with your... He's looking at your cage

where a monstrous gorilla tried to kill us all, knocked you unconscious. He's a ranger. He's good at this kind of thing. All right, all right. If there was any man I want on the case, it would be Lork.

Aw. I wish Lork didn't hear that. And unfortunately, he'll die before he ever knows how much Gormley loved him. Yep. 100%. Where's Ben Vereen? Ben Vereen's with me.

He's stealthier than I am. Good, I'm glad he's with you. Seriously. All right, so you and Ben Vereen are there. What do you do? I will stealthily open the door. Roll a reflex save. Oh no!

Trapped. Trapped! Shit! Okay, reflex save. 14. As you go to open the door, around the doorknob, something comes out to grab your hand,

like ropes to grab your hand. You pull your hand back before it can entrap you. Oh, wow. But you also hear, Oh, shit. Fuck. And you see Halrex Kind of looking Towards the direction

Of the armor Charm person I'm gonna cast Charm person I'm gonna cast charm person Wait Can I evil eye her And cast charm person

We were discussing this yesterday Do you know you've been evil eyed If you Or you're I mean I'm just looking at her funny Right Yeah I don't I feel like you know

I think she would know that there's something weird. She'd feel something weird, probably. But then... Would she know it was coming from me? I mean... No, because she'd see you doing something. But I don't know. You would still get a chance to get her charm through.

I mean, you are giving her an evil eye. The thing is... Is she not going to notice it? I agree. And you've got to do it in a split second after you hear... But the thing is, even if your charm spell fails,

she's going to attack you anyway. So if you're going to do it, you might as well evil eye her first. Okay. So I'll evil Eye her for saves. Okay. DC 15 will save. DC 15 will save.

18. Oh, shit. All right, well, still for a round, you've got a minus two to save. That's true. And then I'm going to cast Charm Person. I don't like the way you're looking at me, lady. I'm sorry. Well, then let me ask you this question.

And then she does the, she casts the spell. Charm person. Okay. Holy. So this is a DC 14 will save, but you have minus two to save. Minus two to saves. DC 14 will save. And what are the components of this?

Don't worry about material components, but is there a verbal component? Is there a somatic component? Verbal and somatic. Now, is the verbal anything you want? Watch this. Or is it like... I defer to Skid on that question. No, Dutch!

It's whatever your imagination dreams it could be. I would imagine you would have to start some sort of incantation. Okay. So I do a spell thing with my hands I'm waving them around and twitching my fingers as I'm doing in real life right now DC 18 will save

minus 2 DC 14, excuse me I rolled an 18 Make it a gentleman's DC 16 DC 14 will save and I get a minus 2 to that save. Yep. I'm going to roll this in front of everybody.

Please do. This is one of those ones you get to just watch. Oh, boy. Oh. I rolled a 10 on the die. Oh, God. Oh, God. So that's an 8.

But with your little evil eye Giving the minus two to saves You have charmed Yeah Coxswain Halrix Wow Oh Okay This doesn't last for

Oh four hours She's Oh no It's like two days right That's a charming monster I think Oh right Charm person Charm person

Charm person Give me four hours And they're gonna regard me As a trusted friend And ally Yee I I I person give me four hours, and they're going to regard me as a trusted friend and ally. I I I'm sorry, I'm sorry I yelled. No, no, it's alright, it's alright.

Must be all the commotion in the boat. Did you like my dance moves? They were absolutely beautiful. It's part of a whole thing, I'll show it to you later. Perhaps can I ask you a question? Of course, of course If I were to play my flute sometime

Would you maybe dance to the flute? I would love that We should totally do that This is stoned all of a sudden Tell you what Meet you in the chart room Dance party later on. Oh, my, that sounds delightful.

Perhaps after dinner. After dinner? Dinner's in four hours and three minutes. Does that work for you? I will most definitely be there. See you then, you gorgeous creature. No, you're gorgeous. And she just kind of

wanders off into the cargo hold smiling big smiles amazing well done Matthew that was clutch oh gosh

that was very very I gotta do it Matthew you get another bottle cap yeah alright it just it just it's really good. It's really good.

Question about charm person for the listeners. When someone's charmed and you were attacked by something, they would aid and defend you? You have to make a charisma check to get them to do something that they wouldn't ordinarily do if they weren't charmed. Correct. So you have to do a contested charisma check. So if, for example, if Gormley told Halrax to attack Rag,

they would each make charisma rolls. And if Gormley's was better than hers, then she would attack Rag. If not, the spell would be broken. Predictably, Gormley does not have a very high charisma. Exactly. So don't don't press your luck with the spell

we're probably in good shape right now we're fine at a certain point I would like to talk to her while she's charmed oh you can of course oh yeah absolutely

but for now I want to know what's happening down below right during that entire roleplay you guys ate every snack in that dish

the entire dish is empty and there's like one peanut we're pretty disgusted. I'm taking a picture. One peanut. One sad little peanut. It's mostly me.

I didn't eat that. Lork, are you running at top speed to get back above deck? Yes. Okay. Yeah. I mean, once that alarm went off, I'm like, okay, I don't want to be caught really red-handed here. Right.

And whatever came out just recedes back in behind the door. Did it look like a mechanism or like a magical? It looked like some sort of mechanism, yeah. here. Right. And whatever came out just recedes back in behind the door. Did it look like a mechanism or like a magical? It looked like some sort of mechanism, yeah.

Okay. That was close. I have disabled device. I have a skill point and disabled device, so if we want to go back down at some Oh, yeah, we probably

won't go back down. No, I'm saying if you wanted to bring me. Like right now? No, at some point. Well, you heard that noise, so you might just want to go down there.

You guys heard a more muffled version. But you obviously heard really loud. So Halrex is gone. Halrex is gone. You come back up, and do you replace the floorboards? Yeah. I mean, assuming that Gormley doesn't come down halfway.

I'll come over to you. I'll meet you in the little broken cage area, and I'll be like... And I'll explain to her the situation. There's a trapped door down here. I charmed Halrex for four hours. So long as Baron and Galabras can keep Rag occupied, we have a little time. And at this point, you guys don't know how that all shook out upstairs.

I'm just trying to delay Rag as long as I possibly can. Right. But is this something you think we should... There might be danger behind that door that we'll need Galabras and Baron's help with. So you want to wait and do it later tonight? We don't have a lot of time, but I think... It's almost night and you guys had three battles too, right? You had the first Drake battle, the second Drake battle, and the Gorilla battle.

Yeah, I mean, look, we can cover up the floorboards and they won't know that we know. And if Baron can convince Rag to give him a key, then we could come back. Let me ask this question. can cover up the floorboards and they won't know that we know and if you know metagame but if baron can convince rag to give him a key then we could come back let me ask this question for disabled device i mean i guess if we come back under less time conditions i could take 10 or something and try to i mean not without the trap going off on you you can't take 10 without the trap going off on you yeah um so i could it doesn't matter. But I could give you luck. You could give me luck. All right.

So you told me about it and we'll say, all right, we'll come back. Yeah, I'll replace the boards. I'll put a little dust over them. Maybe slide a, you know, tossed away piece of armor

over it or something. Right. Dung, gorilla dung. Like you could do guidance. You could do guidance on yourself and then I can give you luck and then, you know. Yeah, so two,

yeah, okay. So so for us order of businesses get downstairs and examine that for you guys order of businesses we have to interrogate will Lork's knowledge about how the trap sprung like what it is give me information that would help me in disabling it no

no you'd have to see it if you're gonna be the one disabling it you've got to examine it and try and figure it out on your own. Okay. Yeah. Lork wouldn't be able to give you the specifics on how it works. Right. Because also, it all happened in a split second. Lork was like, huh, meow.

Right. I love this alarm sound. Yeah, it's great. That's exactly what happened. But yeah, you've also had a long day I have no spells left you have no spells left so you guys at a certain point probably want to reconvene

and you're going to have an opportunity to do so I think that it's possible that these guys are in danger you know what I mean like if they weren't able to pull it off so you would probably head back above deck yeah get as far away from the place the trap you just sprung.

And you see the chart rooms open, and you can see Galabras and Baron talking with Rack. All right, so yeah, you guys see Lork and Gormley come walking up. All right. Ah, there are our friends over there. Hey, y'all. Hello. What did the ledger say about who was scheduled to be down at the cage?

It was Tog. One of my men, Tog. But as I told your friends, it wouldn't make any sense that he would do it on purpose or not do it. So it's just very strange. I look over at Gormley, and we sort of share share a glance because Gormley and I had questioned the twins and that's when Gormley had told me that she thought Tog was withholding. Yeah, it's true.

I ask Rag, how much do you pay your men, Rag? I pay them a fair wage. A very fair wage. Okay. No one is underpaid, no one's overpaid, but they can make a living on this boat and I treat them fair, I treat them well, A very fair wage. Okay. No one is underpaid. No one's overpaid. But they can make a living on this boat, and I treat them fair.

I treat them well, which is why I'm so adamant about making sure you don't overstep your bounds in your questioning of them. And you have a lot of shore leave when you get to Urgear? You know, yeah, we'll take a furlough. Okay. Okay. I think that's the furlough. Okay. Okay. I think that's the word. Cinderella. That was good. That was another one.

Yeah, that was pretty good. That was pretty good, Troy. Hey, give yourself a bottle cap. All right. I'd love to see.

Matthew, can I get that bottle cap back? Yeah, here you go. I'd love to see Fleet Week in our gear. That would be the best. It's going to be like the Dothraki. The bartenders hate Fleet Week in our gear.

So, what were we just talking about? We'd like to talk to Tog. We want to... I think Rag said that he would allow us to talk to him, right? With him present. Yes, yes. We can do this. I'm trying to think of the best way to do this.

Dinner's going to be coming up soon. You'll be expected in the kitchens. Should we just go about as business as usual? At this point, he's closed the chart door. Should we just go about business as usual after dinner, pull Tog into my chambers, and we... Yeah, I think we should announce to the crew that there had been an accident with the beast,

and it was all taken care of and no worries from here on out. All right. They look down through the porthole to get into the rowing station and see the body of a giant-formed gorilla. Is anyone going to take care of that body, by the way? I wanted to ask you. He's no good to me dead. The Empire will compensate you if he's killed.

I'll actually take him, Galadras. I know we have plenty of food. You won't be eating my gorilla, come on. Well, I mean, what good is he otherwise? All right, you can eat my gorilla. Thank you. It's a delicacy in Absalom. Gorilla soup.

Especially the wings, so it's good that he has four limbs. I want you to know that, and I want to say this to all of you now while you're here, I know I've been rather rash with you and harsh and quick to temper, and obviously with the events that have transpired the past two days, I've been more on edge. And I just want you to know I appreciate what you're trying to do. And if you just toe the line with me and do things in the way that I like to do things, then I'm sure everything will be fine.

If it comes to a point where we have to use magic and other sorcery, I'll prepare myself for that as well. But in the meantime, let's just try to suss this out with Tog after dinner, eh? I just want to let you know, Rag, that we want you to have your boat functional and working at tip-top

condition at the end of the day, and I think this will help that. I appreciate that. I appreciate all that you've done so far. And whenever you can patch that hole downstairs, that'd be sweet. I'd like to help out with that if it's alright. I have expertise in this sort of manual

labor. Good, good. The more and the faster we can get it done, the faster we can shove off. Just to let you know... We're gonna need a key, I think, to get in and out of that door there, the brass door. We actually won't right now. There's a giant hole in it. Well, once to need a key, I think, to get in and out of that door there, the brass door. We actually won't right now. There's a giant hole in it.

Well, once we patch it up, I'm saying. Right. Let me know when you get to a point in your carpentry when you need a key, and I'm sure we can work something out. I trust you. All right. Just to let you know what the plan is for tomorrow, because we're actually going to be taking a stop.

Are you familiar with the Knights of Ozum? I am, yes. I'm not. I'm not. They are among the military groups that defeated the Whispering Tyrants. That's right. That's right.

We've mentioned this before. Yes, we talked about this before. In a previous episode. Episode 32. Google it. Yeah. And whatnot. Google it and whatnot. Well, we have a scheduled stop tomorrow at a Riverside Way station in Lasswall that is staffed by the Knights of Ozem.

Not unlike the orcs, they trade with me, they treat me well, and I do the same. Actually, most of the stuff you saw in the armory, if you were able to peek through the hole. I don't know, did you get a chance to peek through the hole of the armory? Yes, we looked around when to peek through the hole. I don't know, did you get a chance to peek through the hole of the armory? Yes, we looked around when we were examining the cage. Well, a lot of the stuff that's in there I'm giving to them for some... as part of my trading mission.

It won't take long. It's part of our trip. It won't get you to your destination any later, but we'll be doing that tomorrow afternoon. Is that okay? Delightful. I'd love to meet some knights of Ozone. I've heard so many tales.

That puts a clock on what we can do down in that hold, though, because they'll be coming to move stuff out of it. But, yeah. Well, I didn't hear that, so I can't respond. That wasn't in the game. But, you know, we'll have people in and out of there all morning working on that. But, anywho, I'll see you at dinner, and we'll talk to talk. Yeah, so he dismisses you.

You guys leave the chart room. What do you guys want to do? Do you want to go have like a powwow? Yeah, yeah. Lork needs to tell Galabras and Baron everything he saw downstairs about the trap. We also need to account for the fact that Halrex is charmed and is going to come off of that charm before dinner. I think I'm going to have to stick to her like blue at dinner and just keep her from, you know, being nice to the crew. Well, you should talk to her while you can, too.

Yeah. I do want to talk to her. Yeah. Yeah, you should try to keep talking to her while she's charmed to, I don't know, just try to lay some foundation for when she comes out of it that she still at least tolerates. Just get all the information that you can

while she's in the state. So maybe, Galabras, you can go do your cooking, make your cooking checks, get stuff ready for dinner while you talk to Howrex, and then you and Baron just kind of... I'm going to work with Ben Vereen. Ah, do some training with Ben Vereen. Training Ben Vereen. No, so I'm just patching up a hole by myself. You could just... Fuck you.

Well, there's probably still some work left to do on the rail um and urog will uh can help you with that yeah i want to put off patching the hole until we get all four of us down there and we can sneak out through the secret hole right all right so i go back behind my scaffolding and my little tarpaulin where i'm going to unveil an incredible new fishing mechanism for this boat for the chelish devil the chelish devil. The chelish devil. Okay, so alright, Gormley. Sorry, can you get us or me at least caught up on

days? So like the first day we shoved off and what happened? Well, you arrived on the first day and you spent the night. We had a party that night. But I'm calling the next day the first day of the actual journey. And that was the day where...

That was the day where we saw the... Was that the day that we got up? Well, we got up and fished, right? Yeah, the day that you got up, you were all excited. Galabros was psyched to cook and you and Baron fell in the water when Gormley was in the lookout and had the crocodile attack with Urak. And then that night

you guys had dinner. Galavris wanted to bless the food, and the rag was like, you can bless your food, you won't be doing it for my men. And that was all that happened. I think it was just dinner and the crocodile fight. So that was one day of training for Benverine. Right. And then the second day was Gormley

spotting the drakes. The drakes came and attacked the boat. One came and took the war horse off to its lair. You guys defeated the drakes of the boat and then shoved off,

took the jolly boat out to... The cave where the thing went. The cave, fought it, killed it, got the treasure, brought the horse back. The horse,

which is in love with Gormley, a very close relationship with Gormley. And we went right to work rowing. And then a few hours later, but not so many hours that Mage Armor wasn't still in the team. You're such a generous GM.

It actually didn't matter. I didn't take a single hit. Oh, because you ran away like a cow. No. So we're in day two. We're still in day two. It's dinner of day two. It is the night of day two, yeah.

Holy crap. All right. When did we walk around interrogating. We're still in day two. It's dinner of day two. It is the night of day two, yeah. Holy crap. All right. When did we walk around interrogating? Was that the first day after they fell in the water? Did we walk around? No, that was... We talked to Tog. Yeah, yeah, that was the first day.

That was before dinner. Oh, on the first day. Yeah. So you talked to Sharg and Tog. And Tog. Yeah, so you met Sharg, Tog, Urag, Krothu. Gajnak. Gajnak, the cook. Berka, Barkg, Urag, Krothu. Gajnak.

Gajnak, the cook. Barka? Barka? Barka. Who's the fisherman? Urag. Urag, that's right. Barka, the newest crew member.

Yes, he's the newest one. I think Targ told you. No, Sharg told you that. I think so, yeah. Yeah, when you guys talked to the twins, remember one had a tattoo on one side of his face, one had a tattoo on the other. Sharg was the one that did most of the talking.

And he was super friendly and like said that they were all cool they trusted everybody on blah blah blah and Tog was withholding yeah he just got a sense that he was being

a little withholding yeah well now we know for 100% fact that he's a fucking criminal and saboteur and we're gonna execute him

in front of the entire crew after dinner just so you know our plans I'm sure that will go over well. That sounds fair and just. We should just do a total of

Titus Andronicus and kill him now and I will cook him into a casserole and we'll eat him and then reveal it at the end of the dinner. To his brother? Jesus. As is tradition. He's got really dark skin. Dark fast. I'm just saying.

I'm just saying. I'm just saying. All right, Gormley. You find Hal Rex in her quarters. In the chart room? In the chart room. So before Baron goes down, I say, hey, can I borrow one of your whiskey bottles? I say, yeah.

You hexed the shit Out of that Gurion You deserve some Whiskey buddy Gurion I'm from Is it Spanish I'm from down by The Rio Grande

You hex the shit Out of the Gurion It's totally like I was hoping For dinner tonight We could have a Taco taco taco burrito I don't know

Yeah I know Where I'm from Two L's Is a Y sound So I love that you said it Just like a Texas Ranger Would say it

Five Kings Mountains man We hate Gareons Tex-Mex Ranger Alright Alright so yeah Gorm you get your bottle Of whiskey from Baron His lifetime supply

And I I knock on the door Of the chart room She opens it Big smile on her face Oh hello hello His lifetime supply. And I knock on the door of the chart room. She opens it. Big smile on her face. Oh, hello, hello. Come on in, come on in.

This is so cool. I love this. I love this too. I love charm spells. Charm spells are the best. I just hold up the bottle of whiskey and I go, shall we? Well, I am done ordering people around for the day, so I pop it open.

So I pour her some drinks. Okay. She drinks the entire drink in one sip and holds out the glass. And I pour another drink. Okay. Does the same thing. But then she doesn't hold it out again for a second because she's already starting to get a little woozy. Two double shots.

So how long have you been on this boat? Oh, I've been with Rag now for, uh, 10, 12 years. That's a long time. How'd you guys meet? Oh, well, I, you know, he was looking for, uh, looking for crew members, and, uh, we had a bit of a run-in one day. I used to belong to a tribe of orcs, actually, and, uh, he had a bit of a run-in, and, uh, well, suffice it to say I left the tribe and I joined up with Rack

What tribe was it? That's an interesting story You know it was just a small band I'm new, you know I'm comparatively new to orc tribes the only one I've ever heard of is the I'm sorry I think it's the Twisted Nails

Oh yeah the Twisted Nails, they're real buggers, but no I had nothing to do with the, I'm sorry, I think it's the Twisted Nails. Oh, yeah, the Twisted Nails. They're real buggers. But no, I had nothing to do with them. They're real trash. Oh. I don't... Real green trash. Oh, wow.

I mean, I don't... I spend most of my time in the mountains, so I have never run into the Twisted Nails. Oh, the mountains, they must be lovely. Lovely. run into the Twister. Oh, the mountains, they must be lovely. Are you a fan

of vermin and scorpions? My favorite? Yeah, well, then you'd love a thing. You will have to show me these mountains one of these days. It just sounds so glorious.

I'll make sure to add you to my Christmas card list before we leave. I'm going to add you to my Christmas card list before we leave. When I hold you to that. You scam. What's a Christmas? And she holds out the glass

for more whiskey. I pour another. And I do the shot with this. Oh, all right. Twisted, ask her about the Twisted Heart Tribe. The other thing I've heard before is the Twisted Heart Tribe.

You remember anything about that? Twisted Heart, sure, sure, yeah. It has something to do with the giants and the orcs over at the fort up near where Harkus Blockade used to be. You know, I haven't been in the game in so long. I don't know too much about it, but I know it's trouble when you've got giants and orcs banging heads.

Very scary, very scary. Yeah. So, you seem to know a lot about the area. I am a native of, I was born in Trudow. Ah, Trudau, sure. I hear it's lovely. Ah, well, well, between you and me. Who tastes?

Who? Not great people there sometimes. Not great people? You know what? I'm not going to visit. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. They're a little bit close-minded.

Ah, I know what you mean. I know what you mean. As you might, my, our good friend Mork, he's from Trinidad and he was not very well liked there. The halfie, eh?

Yeah. That's what we call them. And they don't even like the halfies there. They're somewhat tolerated, but it's not a great situation. What, right fuckers?

They are right fuckers. That just doesn't make sense. They said, you can't accept a halfie's half human, half orc. I can understand a full orc, I would sense They said You can't accept a half-ease Half-human Half-orc

I can understand a full-orc I would probably get trouble in there But a half-ease No it's It's not great Do you ever run into any trouble On this boat? You know

Being a full-orc among a bunch Do I look like the type of woman That runs into trouble? I think you're exactly The type of woman That runs into trouble It's no trouble That I can't find my way out of,

if you know what I mean. That's why I like you. Are you coming on to me? Because that's, just to be clear, I like you, but I don't like you like that. Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.

No, no, no. I've got a question for you, though. Sorry, it's a whiskey talking. Have her explain the difference between ferocity and orc ferocity. It's a whiskey token. Have her explain the difference between ferocity and orc ferocity. See, your side impression is a rules lawyer.

Go on. All right. Let me ask you a question, woman to woman. Sure. I believe you've got a couple minutes left of this spell She's cognizant of the spell Fourth wall, fourth wall Shattered, gone By the way, Ben Vereen never broke the fourth wall

Let me just point that out Of all people Rag's been coming on to me a lot Oh, Rag, well he's a bit randy, as they say, and he took a liking to you the minute you came on this boat. He seems like a good man. Though I'm a little worried. All this sabotage on board seems to...

It makes me a little worried that someone's after him. Sabotage? Weird stuff happens at sea. I wouldn't worry too much about it, especially with Rag at the helm. Rag will suss everything out and it'll be perfect. This has happened before? No, but I just can't imagine any one of these crew.

They treat them like brothers for the most part. Yeah, let me ask you a question. Yeah. Tog, how long has he been on the boat? Tog? He's been here as long as his brother. When did they join? Two, three years ago, as far as I know. I'd have to look at the ledger.

They trustworthy? As trustworthy as any other man on this crew. In Trunau, they have a tradition that half-orcs with facial tattoos are specially disliked. That wouldn't make much sense. Any half-orc worth his salt has some sort of tattoo. If you were someone else, I'd show you mine. Be that as it may, do you know what their tattoos mean?

I mean, they're brothers. I'm sure it has something to do with their connection with each other. Maybe they used to belong to some tribe. Roll a perception check. Natural 20. Matthew, you are on fire right now. You are killing it, my son. When you mentioned Tog,

she seemed to give pause for a moment before she started giving information. Whoa. I hold up the whiskey bottle. Oh, maybe she's like, Toth. Oh, yeah. I hold up the whiskey bottle and say,

one more. I better know I can't look like a fool in front of the crew when we head out to dinner I probably should just do you still want to do the flute and dance? I would love to rise ice I have to I have to say woman to woman you seem to have a little bit of a reaction when I brought up talk. Oh It's just another member of the crew is all Dogs, uh, he's a good man. Good man. His brother's a good man, too.

They're all good men. Rag, especially. You and, uh, there are some obscene gestures going around the room right now. Show is making some very rude gestures. Okay, woman to woman. Ah. You and Tog have done the little no pants flute dance. Absolutely.

The no pants flute dance Well there's the name Of the episode Nailed it Matthew Now you're just Stacking up those bottle caps Oh man I know

Absolutely not That would be forbidden On this ship It's one thing if Rang Wants to take you Into the back And throw you Around the room

But we wouldn't be doing that with a crew. Ah, of course, of course. I just, sometimes people like to have a little fun. I don't judge people for having fun. Ah, I didn't mean to get rough, but there are rules. Of course. You understand rules. Of course.

All right, well. Anything else that you should ask her for? I don't know. I'm going to clear my head before dinner. It was always a pleasure seeing you, and I can't wait to see these mountains. I can't wait to have you over for a little scorpion party. Again, I don't roll that way.

You misunderstand. We bring the scorpions in. Oh. Oh. See you at scorpions in. Oh. Oh. See you at dinner. Bye-bye. Oh, boy. Oh, man.

Matthew's making you work. Sorry about that, Troy. Anybody else sweating? Let me just grab a quick M&M. Oh, they're gone. Okay. As usual, killing it with the role play. Yeah, dude. Good job. let me just grab a quick M&M oh they're gone okay as usual killing it with the role play

yeah dude good job okay so Galabras you're in the kitchen you want to just kind of do a little little cooking check

I'm going to make something a little special tonight oh yeah yeah what do you got planned there I'm going to make a big bunch of popcorn.

Popcorn? Yeah. Oh, no, no, I've never heard of anything like that. Well, it's very easy to make, but I want to make a lot of it so that the crew of the ship can have something to snack on while they're standing around watching us save their lives and preserve their boat.

See? I see popcorn. Well, if you think it'll be good, I'm sure we could try something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, well,

I rolled a six. So the popcorn's burned. It's completely burned. Oh, it smells terrible. Yeah. Oh, you know,

I think I can take care of everything else tonight, but maybe you just go hang out with your friends. I'm sorry, I think I can take care of everything else tonight. Maybe you just go hang out with your friends. I'm sorry. I'm a failure. I'm terrible at it, Rudolph. Popcorn, he burns the kitchen down.

Okay. You guys eventually find a space to talk with each other. I share all I learned from Horrocks. And I share the intricacies of my training of Ben Vereen. Oh, I'm sorry. I skipped your role for Ben Vereen training. No, it's not a role yet. It's tomorrow.

Because I didn't realize we weren't in day three yet. Oh, yeah. It'll be tomorrow. We'll see if I made any progress. So is that a kickball change, kickball change? Jazz class. Lork is just like covered in claw marks. Just skin deep, just skin deep.

Not going well, huh, Lork? It's a long process, you know. So, yeah, so Lork wants to say there's a door below decks. It's trapped. They've got something back there, and I don't know if this tog or whoever might be sabotaging the boat knows about it or if it has anything to do with the mischief that's going on, but we definitely got to check it out,

and I don't know if we do it after hours or midday when everyone's working and maybe no one's in there. But if anyone's going to be in the rowing compartments, then that would be a hindrance. Though Halrex is quite friendly, now she won't be tomorrow. Yeah, so maybe we try to do it late at night. Maybe we

feign sleep and then sneak out to the lower decks. But we don't need the key as long as there's a hole in the wall. That's true. They just put up, like, caution tape. Yeah.

Turned out police tape. Turned out police tape. Hemp ropes. I offer an alibi for everyone, and that's, I say, you know, I'm almost done fixing up the back of their fishing port, and I figure we could tell them

that I just need all your help to help me finish it off. And, you know, we're doing it as a favor to them after hours. They want us to be busy working. and I figure we could tell them that I just need all your help to help me finish it off. We're doing it as a favor to them after hours. They want us to be busy working otherwise. I can show you what I've done. It's pretty cool. We could tell them we're pulling an all-nighter on your fishing contraption.

Yeah, absolutely. The downside to that, though, is I will have zero spells. Yeah, I'm running low on everything. We don't have to do it tonight. As long as we're not patching up the hole, we could do it tomorrow night. Rag told us about the nights, though,

that are going to be going through there, right? No, the thing in Last Ball that you're stopping at, you're doing tomorrow afternoon. So you would assume that people are probably going to be in and out of there all morning, getting the stuff ready for the shipment to be dropped off with the Knights of Ozem. And then

they'd be rowing throughout the day, but possibly tomorrow night, you would be an opportunity. Yeah, I don't think there's any reason. I mean, we can let the Knights take their stuff. Yeah, everything seems that they're going to empty out the armory. I mean, we could also make our business to be in there.

We could be repairing the hole while they're taking stuff in. Right, and we could see if anyone goes downstairs, which I doubt they will. Can Baron, do you

think you could convincingly do enough work on the repairs and still leave it open enough for us to get through over the course of a day? Yeah, absolutely.

Oh, so Baron will just kind of be like, yeah, this is a real pain in the ass, and he's not doing, doing like really sealing it up this wall is giving me a lot of trouble he's installing a door

yeah yeah it's installing a secret door yeah time for my break he's like a hacker it's only been two hours and are you drunk?

here's another thing we love unions guys we love unions let me ask you do you think do we all trust Rag or are we not trusting him either? I mean, I personally, I think I trust him, but I'm not certain about anything anymore.

I don't know if we don't just tell him we know about this compartment. It might be that he doesn't even know about it. And that could be trouble anyway, so I don't think we should talk about it. One last thing about that secret door. I'm just worried that whatever's in there could be leaving. I mean, I know we can watch who goes in and out while we're moored, but I'm just a little concerned that maybe whatever's in there might leave when we dock tomorrow. Yeah, true.

Looks like Gormley's sleeping in the crow's nest. I think you've, yeah, but we've all experienced going into dangerous situations without letting our witch and cleric here rest properly. It's gotten ugly, quick. It's true. It's true. I do have Spectral Hand.

I can't actually cast another spell with it, but I could wave a spectral hand around. Hi, bad guys. I don't know. I kind of want to do it in the middle of the night. I think that's fun, even though I wouldn't have time to rest. Could we offer to skip dinner, go to sleep, and then wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning after 8 hours rest?

There we go. And one hour of skull preparation. We are wiped out after five. Yeah, they would totally believe that we're exhausted after fighting

a six-armed gorilla. We'll have to ask Troy. So your plan is to skip dinner. Is it possible to be like, look, we'll have dinner

in our rooms. We're exhausted and we need the rest and then like rest for eight hours. The only issue being you'd have to skip the confrontation with Todd. Oh, right, with Todd.

Son of a biscuit. So your options are skip dinner and work throughout the night and hope that you can take care of everything after, you know, wake up super early and no one else is patrolling the boat and go do it in the middle of the night. Well, really like early morning before anybody wakes up. Right, like just pre-dawn. Or have dinner, confront T tog deal with that and then tomorrow wait until tomorrow night to do it when

you're when your healers are all that's the way that's the way lork is leaning yeah like question tog we could also you and glabrous and i could go sleep and you guys could go interrogate interrogate tog i mean unless you're going to use zone of Truth No I mean Yeah I think we should be together It's nicer if everyone's together My only question is that Since we don't want to let Rag know That we know about this Trap door

We can't bring it up When we're interrogating Tog then Well don't worry about that Okay Don't worry about that I mean that's what If you guys want to wait I'm happy to wait

Because we don't even know What the significance of it is anyway, so. I can also, I can freely hex. I mean, I'm not completely powerless if we go in there tonight. I just think it's safer to, let's question Tog, and then we can make the decision after that. Yeah, let's question Tog and figure out what's going on. Good idea. If suddenly we become rushed for time, then we'd know then, and we'll have to do it. But we'll have more information at that point.

Yeah, cool. Okay, so you guys have your powwow, share all the information, and you head down to dinner. Halrock's no longer smiling at you.

What are you looking at? Nothing, nothing, nothing. You're gross. Wow, she really went the other way. And she goes and sits at the other end of the table. And when a full orc is calling you gross, that's got to blow to the self-esteem. I was going to make my excuses about the dance party,

but it seems like I don't have to. You really didn't want to be a part of that dance party. And dinner happens. There's no mention of popcorn. No one ever brings it up. And at the end of dinner, you see Rag talking

to Tog, and he kind of looks at you guys like, meet me in my quarters. And he walks through, and Howrex is sitting there scowling at all of you. I'm walking, like, close behind Tog, not putting any hands on him or anything, but, like, ready to grapple if he tries to do anything. She scowls and hurls insults at you as you walk through to Rag's room. And you get there again.

I've described it before. It's, like, got the bed, the child's devil, And you get there again. I've described it before. It's like, the bed, the chalice devil, the chest, and whatnot. And he kind of looks to you guys like, Tog, I just wanted to bring you in here because I'm sure you know

that it was your duty to feed the gorillan. Giddy on. That's the preferred pronunciation. Giddy on. The drugged meat, and clearly it wasn't done. So in front of my friends here, I just wanted to hear what happened.

You didn't hear much from him before. No, he was being pretty quiet. His brother did most of the talking. His brother did all the talking, yeah. He's like, why are they there? Why are they here? Well, like I said, they're crew members like anyone else

and I didn't want to ask you alone. I wanted to ask you in front of other people. I ain't talking in front of them. You'll answer my questions because I'm your captain. I don't care who's in this room. You tell me if you put the meat there or if you didn't. Well, I put the meat there.

Sense motive. Ooh, man. Nine, ten. Six, four. Oh, shit. Damn it. We missed it. As far as you know, he put the meat there.

He put the meat there. He put the meat there? Well, then how do you explain that this gorilla broke through my ship and almost capsized us by breaking through and killing our friends here? I don't know what to tell you. I put the meat there. It was my job to do it, and I put it there. Can I ask, Captain, whose duty is it to drug the meat in the first place? It'll be Gosnok.

Always the Kirk. Did Gosnok, did you get the meat from Gosnok? He's like, yeah. I went and picked it it up And he put the shit all over it I saw him do it, I was standing right there And then I left it there Are we done? I want to ask you, Tog, did you have the key To that cage?

Was it locked when you got there? He kind of glares at you No No, it wasn't locked Or no, you didn't have the key Which one? I didn't have the key Which one? I didn't have the key Sense motive

On the key 18 this time Natural one 7 Galabras and Lork He is not telling the whole truth Aha Was the lock locked when you got there? He is not telling the whole truth. Aha. Okay.

Was the lock locked when you got there? I didn't check it. You didn't check if the cage was locked of a huge beast that could kill you with one swoop if the cage was unlocked? My job was to leave drugged meat at the cage. And I did that. What was your job? My job was to leave drugged meat at the cage. And I did that. What was your job? My job was to kill it when you let it out of the cage.

And I get right in his face. I didn't kill it. Can I roll an intimidation? And it's like an umpire and a manager. Looks kick and dust. Do intimidation. Yeah, let me roll an intimidation. Do it.

Ooh, 23. Yeah. Nice. Do it. Ooh, 23. Yeah. Nice. Full on. 23. He swings at Lork. Whoa. Whoa.

It's about to go down. You want me to roll initiative? Yep. You want to roll initiative right now? Yep, everybody roll initiative. Great. Fuck yeah. This bastard.

What the fuck is this? Can you read that number? No, the... Rune dice. Yeah, these are dice that Joe got me. Is that Rise of the Rune Lords? Yeah. That's a 20. No.

Joe got me these Rise of the Rune Lords dice as a thank you for performing his wedding ceremony. It's the natural 20. It's the rune. That's a 20. The only rune on it is the natural 20. Hey, I rolled a 20. Hey, how about those dice, Joe Guy? Aren't they awesome? Those are great.

Thanks. I hope you guys stay married for a thousand years. It was a lovely ceremony. Who's over 20? Me. Alright, so Galabras. What would the order be? Galabras. Who's next? 19 Me. All right, so Galabras. What would the order be? Galabras.

Who's next? 19, 18? I'm at nine. I'm at nine as well. 16. 16. Okay, so it would

be Galabras, Baron, Gormley, Lork. And Benvarine? Yeah, I haven't rolled for Benvarine. Yeah. Benvarine.

He'll wait. Okay. But I mean, this isn't a huge battle scene. This is more like, so what do you guys do? Do you take any action before a lork does? Do you hold to see how this all happens? I just, like, as soon as I say, go down.

So, wait, does he roll an attack roll against me to punch me? He has the lowest initiative. Yeah, but it's a surprise round, I would think. I mean, he just. Yeah, it is a surprise round. Oh, right. So, he. I wasn't expecting him to take a swing at me in front of his captain.

I'll say that. Right. So, he goes to punch you. I'm also a lieutenant, by the way. So, that's basically death penalty. Yeah, it is a surprise round. Oh, right. I wasn't expecting him to take a swing at me in front of his captain. Right, so he goes to punch you. I'm also a lieutenant, by the way, so that's basically death penalty. Yeah, totally. 11 to hit. To hit, that's a miss. Okay, so it just grazes off your armor.

Okay. And then it's Calabras. As soon as I see it happen, I instinctively reach out and give him a bit of luck. You give Tog a bit of luck? Yeah, Tog, right. Okay, so he gives Lork a bit of luck. I'm the traitor. This was Galabras.

It was the cook. All right, so he gives Lork a bit of luck. Baron. Baron just kind of tilts his hat back and says, Looks like we got ourselves an old-fashioned standoff. And he says, Get him, Lork. Show him how we do things in True Now. Gormley?

Evil Eye AC. Yeah. Oh, God. All right, so Evil Eye is AC. Fail. Yeah. Minus two AC for six minutes. And then I cackle because I'm also enjoying the fight.

Okay. Minus two to AC? Yeah. Okay. Lork. Lork gets furiously angry that he attacked him and he just reaches out

with two hands, like grabs the scruff of his like, you know, tunic or whatever it is that he's wearing and grabs him and like screams in his face,

I told you all not to fuck with the wrong crew so it's a it's a grapple check basically he's gonna try to grab him up roll twice oh yeah sweet

bit of luck oh I don't roll anything it's just against his CMD against his CM fizzle 24 yeah

you grappled him just like and I'm just like right in his face. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Rag steps up and says, I don't know what's going on here,

but let's put him in the cage. Oh, I like it. I don't like it. Oh wait, we don't like that. Oh, right. Guess you'll have to work it out next episode.

That's it? Kill him! Kill him now! Kill him! Choke him out! Choke him out! Death roll! Death roll!

Death roll! Coup de grace! Coup de grace! Coup de grace! Outro Music