The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 38 - Taug of War

Episode Date: February 16, 2016

With a suspect in custody, the party gets permission to interrogate Taug, the half-orc boatman. Will the truth continue to elude them or will they finally uncover the traitor on board the Chelish Devil? For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast... I just don't like magic aboard my ship. No, I'm sure you prefer traitors to magic. All right. A traitor lurks in the shadows... Because you don't turn your back on your friends, your family. ...and the heroes must find a way to root out the evil. I worked really hard for this early on in the game. I have this spider venom that I've been waiting to use this whole time. Remember from 24 episodes ago? I knew I should have never given it to him.

Tempers will flare. What? Sorry, I just, you know. I'll kill you when I start strangling you. Slamming his head against the ball. And a new mystery will rise. The dock where the boat would moor has been destroyed. There's been some treachery here. This isn't right. The adventure continues now. Hey everybody, it's me, Skid, slash Galabras. I want to really thank all you listeners for being so awesome,

and in particular, welcome all of our new listeners. We have a lot of new listeners from Europe, which is fantastic. We're very happy about that. In particular, for some reason, we appear to be really popular in Finland. We were the number one game related podcast in finland for like a day and i don't know if that's a quirk in the analytics or or what but either way i just want to say a hearty ketos to the people of suomi and i personally would like to express my admiration for and fascination with Pesopalo, otherwise called Finnish baseball.

And if you haven't seen any Pesopalo, I highly recommend it. It's like if baseball was set in Alice in Wonderland and everyone's wearing NASCAR pit crew jumpsuits. It's amazing. wearing NASCAR pit crew jumpsuits. It's amazing. And in fact, we are so popular in Finland that you may ask, are we, the glass cannon, Finnish ourselves? No, we're not Finnish. And in fact, we're just getting started. And in that spirit, I present to you our latest episode in which our heroes investigate Tog, the half-orc boatman. So please enjoy episode 38, Tog of War. There is a mutiny in the cabin of the captain. Lork has grabbed Tog, grappled him,

and Rag, who slightly towers over Lork, gets right up to you and is like, put him in the cage. And he grabs him with you and starts pulling him out through the chart room. I'm going to say Lork's not, he's not thinking.

He's just walking him along. Gorm is going to be like, Captain, Captain. He's fighting against him. We can't put him in the cage. Why? That cage, we don't know if he's,

we don't know what's going on. That cage is not secure. What, you think I'm just going to leave him in there unguarded all night? No, I'll put one of my best men on it. Come on. Damn it. Shit. Halrex is like, what's going on here?

Damn it. We've got to put Tog in the cage. Here, Halrex, come help us. Halrex jumps in. She helps, too. And they start motioning. Are you still helping, Lork? Yeah, yeah. Okay, and they bring him down. And you go all the way. You take the

long way out to the car, like, downstairs into the cargo hold, and then back through the gangway, and now you're squeezing through the rowing decks. And he's just completely silent the whole time, beyond, like, maybe grunt or fight a little bit. He's not just saying, like, I didn't do anything! Just leave me alone! What are you doing? I thought we were friends.

Captain, now that you've seen that he is mutinous, a mutineer as it were, let me try my plan. Let me use my zone of truth on him. You can question him all we like. We will understand the truth of this. First, let me get him in the cell. And they get in there and they walk through the hole

and put him in the cell. He picks up the lock and locks it. Now what are you saying? You want to ask him questions with your magic? With your permission. All right. All right. All right. And the only reason I'm doing this

is because he struck your friend. Tog, I don't know what's wrong with you, what got into you, but you know we can't tolerate that on this ship. You've never been like this before. What are you trying to hide? I'm not trying to hide nothing. I just don't like these people asking me questions.

This has nothing to do with them. This is an us thing. Meaning like orc stuff. Orc This has nothing to do with them. This is an us thing. Meaning like, orc stuff. Orc and half-orc thing. Captain, as angry as I am at this this lousy bastard here, I don't know

that, I can't say I know for sure that he didn't get meat that might have purposefully not been drugged. Do you think maybe we should have the cook in here too, while we've got the magic going? Just be lucky that I'm allowing this with one of them. All right.

But I... I just want to look for efficiency is all. I understand that. All right. I understand that you're not really interested in finding out what's going on. I just don't like magic aboard my ship. No, I'm sure you prefer traitors to magic. All right.

Gormley. From what I understand, you have three minutes. Gormley. You know a lot about magic. One minute per cleric level. So I'm standing at the cage. This is Gormley, if you will. I'm standing at the cage. He says,

Gormley, if you will. And so, I don't know how to say this in non-metagaming terms, but I would like you to evil eye him for his saves and misfortune. Gormley, will you look at him funny? Do that voodoo that you

do so well. The voodoo that you do so well. I'll look at Tog funny. Evil eye foroo that you do so well. I'll look at Togfunny. Evil Eye for saves. DC 15. Okay. And he saves with a 16.

Cackle. So two rounds. So 12 seconds. And I'm going to Miss Fortune. So you're... Okay. I see what you mean. So I have to roll to me.

14. Fails. Fails. Miss Fortune. So you're, okay, I see what you mean, so I have to roll to me. 14? Fails. Fails, misfortune. So you can just stand there laughing. I'm just going to keep calculating. Just laughing while I'm asking these questions. I hope you have to roll a concentration check. So, all right.

So you cast Zone of Truth. So I fall to my knees, my hands clasped with my butterfly holy symbol. Rag is very uncomfortable. Halrex is even more uncomfortable. So Desna, please grant your favor. Let only the truth be spoken here this eve. Roll will save. Okay. Roll two. And you have minus will save. Okay.

Roll two. And you have minus two saves. Right. One pass, one fail. Okay. Three minutes. He has to tell only the truth. Anyone is free to ask a question. To be fair, he does not have to tell the truth.

He can avoid answering questions. He can plead the fifth. Now, this is on an area, right? Yes. To be fair, he does not have to tell the truth. He can avoid answering the question. Yes, he can plead the fifth. Yes, he can plead the fifth. Now, this is on an area, right? Yes. So Hal Rex and the captain also have to tell the truth. Well, they have to see if they save. Should they?

I mean, we're not going to interrogate them, but they could. Honestly, we should all roll saves, except me. Roll save? Roll save? Roll save? Okay. Well, you know what? You can also just walk out of the zone of truth, too. Yeah. So you could beforehand be like, everyone step back.

It's pretty big, though. It's like, what is it? 30 feet? Plus it gives Galabras a moment. So what's the DC? Because I think I saved. So if they ask me anything about, like, did you go down that trap door? Like, all of a sudden, you know what I mean?

Like, I would. You failed? No, I passed. So I would be able to lie. So, yeah, if you want to stay in the room, you have to roll the save. If you want to just let Galabras be in there. Grumman failed the save. Okay.

So you're the Grumman stand-in. Okay. I'll do what would give you ideas. I thought so Baron failed And he Thinks He looks at Galab

Fuck You're in the room He's immediately like Galabras I've loved you My whole life Why can't I quit you I watched you? I watched you bathe in that pool.

Oh, it's dark secrets. I watched you bathe in the hope spring. It actually had nothing to do with the spell. He's just like afraid that he's going to say things or he just starts spilling. No, Baron kind of wants to... would he know that he's failed? Yes. Oh, yeah. He would know that like if he was asked a question to which he would lie, he's unable to lie.

But I can evade it, right? Yeah. You can just say like nothing. Right. Yeah. But you would assume that it's just. But that would immediately be suspicious. Galabras only has three minutes and he's going to probably direct his questions

directly towards... I kind of want to leave because I don't want to be asked about that ledger. Can't leave. I already failed the save. Alright, I'm in. Alright. Halrex leaves. Rags stays. Alright. And Halrex is pissed. Oh, I bet she is. And she's

standing far away just kind of like looking through the hole in the wall, watching what's going on. And remember, she has some sort of hang-up about Todd. Something's going on. This is blasphemy, Rag! This is blasphemy! You shouldn't allow this bullshit on your ship! Who's the captain here? You or these idiots? You don't sound like you're in the other room. You need to do a little better mic work.

Who's the captain here? You or these fools a little better mic work. Who's the captain of you of these fools? You realize that even if you leave the room, you're on a wireless mic. You're on a wireless mic, Troy. Who's the captain of you? Much better, much better, much better.

Wait, too far. That was too far. We get the gist. Okay. And as I've done before in Pathfinder games, you will actually be timed. Oh, God. Three minutes.

So give yourself a second. You have 15 seconds, and I'll let you know when you can begin. Okay. This is exciting. Make sure you ask about the food, the lock, if he opened the key, if it was open when he got there. Five. Four. The rail. The railing. Three, two,ing. Two.

One. Go. Did you leave the meat for the gorilla? The creature? I already said that I left the meat. Did you witness Gosnok pour the poison or the drugs on the meat before you took it? I saw him with my own eyes.

Do you know anything about the railing that was sabotaged? I know it broke. You Do you know anything about the railing that was sabotaged? I know it broke. You don't know anything about how it broke, how it happened? Probably from your fat friends leaning on it. All right. Skip Gosdark down here. You and Halvorks have had an interesting relationship, haven't you?

What's that supposed to mean? I don't know. You tell me. Who's asking the questions here? What is your relationship with Halrex? My relationship with Halrex is very nice. I don't like this. Please, Captain, is it allowed for the crew to be sleeping with the lieutenants on board? Absolutely not.

Tog, have you had a romantic relationship with Halrax? Yes, exactly. Define romantic. Sexual. Penis imager. Did you write her a love poem? How much penetration? Full or less? It's

It all happened really quickly I bet it did No, not like that Not no It's the sort of truth It took a long time Let me use up our three minutes laughing He looks like you're mind-melding him.

He's like, trying to fight. Who do you think might be a saboteur on this boat? You. Why? Because you're new and no one else is. And we've never had a problem on this boat before the four of you set foot on it. Isn't that right, Rad? Yeah, but the only dangers have come at our expense.

They've come putting one of us at risk. Why would we do that to ourselves? You don't trust me. What makes you trust them? Who? Your friends. I've been through a lot with them. Well, I've been through a lot with these people.

Yeah, but you haven't been through a lot with us. Why would you want to kill us? I don't. Do you have any other masters besides Rag? Good question, Baron. There was one night where we played a game

and I let her be the master. Fuck you. Oh, shit. But other than that, no. Yeah, so it's all misdirect. Red herring, as they say in the business.

Or a fifty shades of grey herring, as it were. And three minutes. Oh, shit. All right, so if he doesn't know anything, if he doesn't know anything, do we want to somehow contrive to, like, work forgive him so he can get out of the cage?

No, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, Captain, I'd like to speak with you in private with my friends here. Can we leave this cage guarded for the time being? Sure, sure I basically want to tell him

that I don't think the guy is guilty of anything and we should let him go but not in front of him just yet Yeah, yeah, yeah Let's talk out there We'll just go down

the end of the hall We can't have Halrex guarding the cage We need someone else Of course This is another problem I'll have to deal with later clearly Halrex, go upstairs and get me cage. We need someone else. Of course. This is another problem I'll have to deal with later, clearly.

Halrex, go upstairs and get me... Get the new guy, right? Get me Barker. Yeah. The new guy. The new guy. Yeah, they probably haven't forged a strong relationship yet, I don't think. Get me Barker. Halrex is like, alright. What were you talking about in there?

Nothing. Don't worry about it. Halrex, we'll discuss it later. Just go get me Bark Nothing. Don't worry about it. Albrecht will discuss it later. Just go get me Barker. And she leaves. And now it's like the four of you down the other end of the hall, sort of in front of the door where the cargo hold is. Without the captain?

No, with the captain. Yeah, yeah. Albrecht's one up to get Barker. Basically want to say, I think we might have been mistaken about Targ. He's got a bit of an attitude problem, but that's not a crime. He's not a traitor.

He's not a mutineer, as far as we can tell. So you can tell with a three-minute spell whether or not he's completely innocent. He told the truth. We know it. Well, I don't know that he's completely innocent. I mean, why would he...

What would be the penalty if you were to find out that he... since you did find out that he's having a romantic relationship with Halrocks? Oh, that's a whole different set of problems. Right now, he's being punished for striking another member of my crew. Because like I told you on day one, you're not

just passengers on this boat. You're part of the crew. And one thing told you on day one, you're not just passengers on this boat, you're part of the crew. And one thing I don't tolerate in the least is you striking another member of the crew. So he's going to sit in the new brig at least overnight. And I'll see how I feel in the morning. Captain.

Not to mention this other romantic stuff. Captain. Yes. I know that you will want to have him kept under guard, yes? Yes. Problem is, we don't know if any of the other passengers, any of the other crew on board is the traitor or not.

Therefore, I suggest that one of us be left to guard him overnight. I give you my word, Captain. I'd, were any dangerous to come up, I'd simply detain him. I'd, were any dangers to come up, I'd simply detain him. I'd do no lethal damage.

Not lethal damage. Here's my, here's my ruling. One of you with Barker. Agreed. Fine. I'll see you in the morning. So when he leaves, lork is like the other thing we have to consider is that halrax is the traitor right now she you know i guess you would tell us about your conversation right i told you before yeah so we could i mean she there was nothing overt

about it but like it's possible that she is asking tog to do some shit now he he basically in his own of truth said that he didn't do certain things which leads me to believe that he's clean but i didn't like how he answered the lock question no i agree he was evasive about it yeah he was evasive about a couple things but he wasn't uh the one thing that i think he was most evasive about is when you said when you asked him who if he had any other masters yeah like i don't know if that was just troy being funny or if it was him being evasive right you know and like finding a clever way to say that but like she could roll a sense on that answer post time or his master on this boat. Might be a little too late. Like she might be giving him orders.

Well, in his zone of truth, he said that he delivered the meat. He said that he saw Gashnak put something on the meat. So we know that that happened. So I think we need to talk to Gashnak. Yeah, yep, yep. But the other question is,

so one of us has to be down here with Barka. Yeah, I mean, I want it to be Lork, if it's cool with you guys. Just because physically, like if anything happens. Yeah, no, definitely. And you don't require the rest that the casters do, right? Exactly, right. So you can just get, did you use any powers? I have no daily powers, yeah.

Yeah, that makes That makes no sense. You won't be able to sleep. Does that make you fatigued if you don't get eight hours of sleep? It's up to you. It's your ruling. I could drink a five-hour energy. Do you have one of those on your character sheet? God damn it.

Show me on your character sheet. I think there's a rule for it, but I can't remember. If you definitely don't sleep. Now, if you work out a deal with Barker where you're going to take shifts, maybe you can work something out. Or with another member of the team, the White Bandits. I don't like this self-appointing. We have to think about this. Oh, yeah, you and Baron could take shifts and just not get a full night's rest.

Yeah, that's fine with me as long as Baron stayed like 10 feet away just kind of like... I get the sense of the Lord doesn't trust Baron. No, no, no, no. I mean, I don't want him

to get grabbed. I'm saying stand 10 feet away like a sheriff, like leaning back in a chair, just twirling a gun, looking in the cage, like try something. Or is he going to do

Gene Hackman in Unforgiven? No. That's what I was thinking. Yeah, give him the gun. Take it. I'm going to be like Andy Griffith, and I'm going to let him out of the jail cell and teach him a lesson about life at the end of the day. What time is it now, Troy? It's late.

It's late? Yeah. So, you know, you've got a— Like what time? Nine? No, it's like 1 a.m. Really? 1 a.m.?

We just finished dinner. I don't know. I just had to give you an answer. Yeah. Well, it's like 1 a.m. Really? 1 a.m.? We just finished dinner. I don't know. I just had to give you an answer. Yeah. Well, give us a better answer than that. Troy, this isn't when you eat. This is when sailors eat. You have a way stranger schedule than anyone else.

When people who get up early in the morning eat. Right. Dinner. I guess the point I'm trying to make is it's bedtime soon. Yeah, yeah. And it's not like you have an hour or hours to figure this all out. You've got 10, 15 minutes.

All right. So I'll do it. I'll do the first shift. You do the late shift. Uh, well actually, how about I'll do the late shift. You do the first shift.

And what I'm thinking is why don't you just offer him some whiskey? Sometimes that can be even better than magic. Yeah. Especially about romantic shit. Just give him a little whiskey and be like, she, she, she just like acted like she didn't even know you, man.

You know, guys, I worked really hard for this early on in the game. I have this spider venom that I've been waiting to use this whole time. Remember from 24 episodes ago? I knew I should have never given it to him. So I was just thinking about putting it in the whiskey and calling it something like the Texas Two-Star Killing him We could kill him

But making him fall asleep Would give us the opportunity to get into the Hold, is that what you're trying to do? No, no, no, I was just saying To get some information out of it If he gets a little drunk and sad or something I don't know But an alternative is he might just pass out

Which would be a great option for early morning. Yeah, if you just keep feeding him whiskey. If we get our eight hours now, if we can get up before everyone else does. But Barker will be there, too. Oh, right. Barker will be there the whole time.

Get him drunk, too. Well, I mean, yeah. That seems like our best option. And if we read the situation in the morning That it's too risky We can delay Let's do shifts see what happens You guys maybe ask Goshnok a couple questions Or if you want to do it in the morning it's up to you

I think you should do it in the morning Because he already likes you You'll be working with him in the morning I think Halrox is probably commiserating about what happened And telling the rest of the crew now So we've lost some of the element of surprise of asking people. I don't think she necessarily is telling the other crew.

She's embarrassed. She doesn't know that... She doesn't know that we know that she broke the rules yet, unless he's talking to her now. I bet you she suspects it. Yeah, yeah. She knows he was being magically compelled to tell the truth, and she might suspect that...

Either way, if she bosses around the crew, she wouldn't be like, I'm in trouble, guys. Yeah. All right. I just need to vent. Well, I mean, look, like, we need to further define her role on the ship, her relationship with Rag. I mean, they've been together 10 years.

You would think that they'd be really solid, but she's the only full orc on this boat. We are sworn enemies of orcs. We're going into orc territory. For all she knows, he could have confided in her in some pillow talk that we are setting out

to stop an orc rebellion from them taking back their lands you know what i mean like all signs point to like her being a a serious suspect and she can also compel crew members to do her bidding exactly exactly she could have a minion do the the railing thing and and not even know maybe they were doing something wrong or whatever and like she could be a mastermind behind it now you. I don't want to get too paranoid, but we just need to further define what her relationship is with Rag and how long

she's been here and if she has any loyalty to any particular orc tribes. And who else has she done the no-pants flute dance with? Exactly. She just do it willy-nilly. Really? Okay, so who's got

first shift? Baron. Baron's got first shift. So I'm going to go get like four hours of sleep. And I'm going to go sleep too. Gentleman's four. Gormley and I are going to sleep together. You wish.

Work this out off air. Hey, you gave it a shot. So, you know, Gormy and Galabras it's a very similar scene you go in there and uh Gosnack's already asleep under the

um the hammock under the stairs check his chest um and then all that guy does is cook and sleep

yeah yeah how could he possibly be the guy and drug meat remember the first remember the first night he fell out and Gormy just

levitated up into the city? And then, yeah, there's still a couple guys gambling upstairs, so for the most part, people are turning in and out. But you eventually are able to fall asleep even above the din of their tomfoolery. Meanwhile, Baron, you are down there with Barka,

and he is not pleased to be on guard duty, to have to miss a night of sleep and also to have to guard what he considers to be a comrade. Does he ask me any questions or is he just grumbling in the corner? He's sitting in the corner like nodding

in and out of sleep. I offer him a drink of whiskey he takes it but doesn't even like thank you or acknowledge it he just takes it swigs it

and doesn't give it back unless you ask for it I just let him go and drink as much as he wants he's just drinking it half of it's going on his clothing but he's

you know nursing the bottle and he's already tired so he's kind of so he's kind of going in and out. You never feel like he's passed out. But he's like in and out, watching to see if Rag's checking in on him. Cool. And meanwhile, Tog is just sitting in the corner, sulking, scowling. Won't even make eye contact with you. is just sitting in the corner, sulking, scowling. Won't even make eye contact with you.

I have no idea what to say to either of them. It's tough, man. It's really tough. But if you got nothing, then just let the time pass. Garden them. Yeah, I'll just let the time pass. Nothing of note happens. Eventually, Barka falls asleep. He keeps waking up

like with a start because he's very, you know, straightens himself up in case Rag comes in so he doesn't get in trouble. Doesn't end up in the brig with Tog.

And Tog is like in a weird vigil where he doesn't, you never see him sleeping. He's just like sulking and staring at the wall. Maybe you like look at him sometimes and catch him glancing sideways at you, and then he goes back to staring at the wall. And then Lork comes down to take his shift.

I let him know nothing happened. It was uneventful. And Lork, you see much of the same throughout the night. The only difference being Tog, you catch him glaring at you from time to time since you guys came to Fisticuffs. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm looking at him pretty serious. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm looking at him pretty serious. And I'll pull up like a stool or something in the area so I can kind of just sit down next to the cage, and I'm going to kind of put two elbows on two knees,

just kind of lean over, look at him in the cage, cage, be like, you know, I've had a little experience with sabotage before. It was a long time ago. I was only a boy at the time. I grew up on the streets in Trunau where they don't treat half-vogels very well, you know. But there's plenty of humans on them streets too that are orphans. They don't got family and you just kind of got to make your own way. And I was in a small group who, we looked out for each other, you know. We helped each other get food and we had each other's back when things went wrong. You had to be in some sort of a gang or else you'd get eaten alive. And sure, it was rough and sure, there were arguments within the gang all the time,

but it didn't mean you didn't trust one another to a certain extent. You didn't help each other out. Well, one time there was a human boy in that group who, well, he sold us out. He sold off where our food stores were to another gang and they took everything we had. And I tracked him down. I found him. And I strangled him to death in the street. Jesus Christ. I didn't think twice.

Because you don't turn your back on your friends and your family if I get any whiff that you had anything to do with sabotaging this boat I'll track you down and I'll strangle you to death

in the street and then he just stands up walks away And I'll strangle you to death in the street. And then he just stands up. Walks away. Leans on the wall at the other side of the room. Just kind of looks away. And you hear, I have a brother and I are orphans too.

What is that? I was just saying that my brother and I are orphans too. Yeah? A lot of us are. I didn't do anything wrong, you know. I don't think you did. But I don't... I don't like deception. I like to trust people, especially other half-orcs. I like to believe that we can band together against these humans, these orcs,

that might seem, that might try to split us apart. That's all I'm saying. Sorry I punched you. It's all right. Sorry I jumped on you just because you, you know, you didn't, you weren't very friendly. Well, being not friendly to strangers is no crime. I just didn't want to get her in trouble. Yeah, I get it. I get it. I've had a few in my time, believe me. None like her. She's that good,

huh? She'd turn a human green. He actually laughs at that. Like, literally, Lurk laughs. How long you been with her? Just a little less than a month now. Just kind of carrying on when no one's looking.

I don't know. I know we couldn't get away with it, but... I just thought it would make the time on the sea go by quicker. I didn't want her to get in trouble. I didn't want to look disfavorably upon my brother, the only family I have. Since he got me on this boat to begin with, I just... I don't know. We're distrustful of strangers by nature, as I'm sure you can understand. Of course.

I meant no harm. And now look at me. She doesn't... Well, you're only... You're just in here overnight. That's what you think. You'll end up throwing me and her overboard. You don't fuck around with Ragblood Dusk.

I've seen him rip a man's arms off when he got mad. I've seen him wield that kukri to devastating effect. The only time he doesn't do it is when the PCs need help. So you... Oh, shit. You think... It screws with the whole CR of the encounter. But I'm just...

Maybe I'm just tired talking. She's, uh... No, I... She don't gotta like us. She don't gotta be our friend, but... You don't think she'd... You don't think she'd try to go behind Rag's back, have us killed, do you? Never. All right.

Well, your secret's safe with me, and the captain may have his suspicions after our little interrogation, but I'm sure that she can hold her own, so I'll give you some advice. Just keep your mouth shut. Don't answer any questions. Don't try to lie. Just say you don't know. Plausible deniability. He just kind of nods his head.

Johnny Corcoran. Johnny Lorcoran. Johnny Corcoran. Johnny Lorcoran. And, you know, within maybe an hour or so, after that half an hour, he eventually goes to sleep, his conscience feeling slightly better. Did Barka hear any of this, by the way? Barka was out, in and out, but like not.

I sort of imagined him like drooling on his own chest with whiskey stain. It was a nice combination of having Baron come in and liquor him up and then lark speak half-orc to half-orc. Good job. And it isn't long after that, and you don't feel super rested, but you're woken up by the sound above deck of movement back and forth. And eventually Rag comes down and kind of motions to you

and says, everything okay? Yeah, he's fine, he's fine. I think he learned his lesson here. How did Braca do? Blanca, Braca? Oh, he did great. I'm thinking of Street Fighter Blanca. Well, he did this strange roll attack at me.

Hit me several times. Stunned me, you know. A wave of electricity went through him. His shock of red hair was astounding. That's why I brought him on my ship in the first place. His great power. His two-dimensional fighting skills are astounding. Well, you know, unless you're interested in staying here,

I'm going to have men coming in and out of here all morning. We'll be at the outpost within the hour once we shove off. Yeah, I don't want to start working on this wall and then have these knights breaking down the small amount of work we did. So, look, I'm sorry it might look unattractive, but let's leave the hole for now. We'll let them get their stuff out of here and we'll fix the hole tonight. Well, I trust your dwarf to use his craftsmanship. The rail's already looking much better. It seems like he's got some sort of plan there to build some fishing equipment. So I'm sure

whatever he's done up there, he'll do just as good a job down here. I trust you. It's not like another ape's going to break out of there. And as for Tog, I talked to him a bit and I think he's a bit regretful about what happened. And if it means anything coming

from me, I think maybe you let him go and we forget about this for now. We'll keep an eye on him, of course, but I think maybe you let him go and we forget about this for now We'll keep an eye on him of course but I I think that he just I think I provoked him to be honest with you and I

it was below an officer and I'm trying to to act a little little better than I than I have Well I appreciate your input I'm going to talk to Hal Rex this afternoon

and once I get that cleared up, I think we could probably let him come back in with the appropriate apology and an understanding. But if you think he's clean, I will take that under advisement, and I'm sure this afternoon after our stop, I might be able to let him out.

I think it's the worst thing in the world to let him sweat a little longer. No, it'll probably do him some good. Give him a smile, pat on the shoulder, kind of up higher. Right. I'm not used to getting a lot of guys bigger than me. Right. And then I'll walk away.

You better get used to him. This is only book two. Yeah, of giant slayer. Okay, so you don't have to worry about your fisherman checks because there's enough nets that'll get you through the end of this day. So you guys will have to fish again tomorrow. We also have tons. We have like the Drake had to be like a 20-ton creature.

And you have the gorilla. And the gorilla. These guys are okay. There's lots of meat. I don't know how many of the people are going to want to eat the drugged gorilla meat. Allegedly drugged. Allegedly drugged. Allegedly drugged. Cook it under a high heat.

Kill the bacteria. It'll taste like nothing, but at least it'll be safe. This food tastes magical, Calabras. If we get it to 145 degrees, we should be fine. If you don't eat meat, ape medium rare, it's not worth eating at all. But Gormley, you will need to look out. You'll be expected up there. As your conversation is ending with Rag,

the morning rowers are already coming down, getting ready. And then there's another guy, one of the other half-orcs, is going in to prepare the armory. You see him talking to Tog, and Barka leaves. So you assume he's probably the next shift coming in. And it's one that you haven't been formally introduced to yet. His name is Ural. So not Urog.

Right, Ural. U-R-U-L. Ural. He's coming down. you would assume he's switching shifts with Barka but you also see him like gathering things and getting them ready for the stop is he half orc?

is he youngish? is he similar age to the other guys? he seems to be a little older a little older Urol so he's relieved Barka and is also preparing for the stop so yeah Gaznak you can

head to the kitchen and do stuff and then you'll be expected up in the crow's nest I'll let him resolve his cooking stuff but right when you what were you going to say well while I'm cooking I was going to ask Gaznak

Gaznak we were told that it was your duty to lace the meat to be fed to the gorilla with the drug. Is that true? Oh, yes, yes, yes. I do it every morning. Here, I'll show you. And he pulls down all these bottles,

and you would know as a cleric that it's like, you know, something that would fatigue, sedatives. Or tranquilizers. I do it every morning. I try to make them fed. I don't want to kill them. I just do what Rag told me to do. I have it right here, but I heard that he came to an untimely end downstairs.

It wasn't my fault, though. I did my job, and, you know, Tog brought the food down and everything. Can I just, I'd like to take a sample i just want to make sure that everything you just want to exonerate you honestly i like you i i'll give it to you but you gotta be very careful this stuff you don't even want to let it touch your skin it'll knock you unconscious you know imagine it only made the gorilla derousy and it would knock you unconscious. Maybe even dead. I promise I'll be very careful. Intriguing.

And he pours, very carefully pours, a little bit of each into three different vials and gives it to you. Okay. And I'm going to hold on to those until I can get Baron to look at them with his craft alchemy. Smart.

And then Godzac is like, I don't know how to say this. I had to tell Rog about the popcorn incident. What? Sorry, I just, you know. I'll kill you when I start strangling him and slamming his head against the bulkhead like, I'll fucking kill you! No, no you've already changed the whole cargo hold and made everything a lot easier to find,

but I don't need your help today. No, I understand. But, you know, I know you like to do the devil's work with your friend's food, and you can absolutely still do that if you want to do your incantation

I'm totally okay with that No, it's fine. Rag said that he spoke with you and that you wanted to do that No, I don't. Can't do it for the rest of the ship but... Yes, no, it's alright I wasn't looking forward to cooking or anything that's

it's not important to me okay again I'm so sorry no no no no need to apologize no no no it's fine

meanwhile is Galabras crushed I am totally crushed he's he's I'll just no I'll just I'll I'll step out

and I'll just walk out. He just kind of walks out. Charlie Brown music plays. Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do. Okay. I make my way down to the cage. Okay.

And you see the similar situation that Lork saw that I already explained. So you see the similar situation um that uh lork saw that i already explained so you see uro you haven't been uh you gamed with him the other night but it's not like he's been one of the guys you've had a longer conversation with uh and he's kind of just gathering um spears and chain mail and shit together uh meanwhile uh tog is unconscious sleeping sleeping. Right. He's dead. No. Gormley, how do you want to get up to that crow's nest, buddy? I'm going to climb and use my hair to aid me. Oh. Okay. Go ahead.

Natural 20. Natural 20. Plus three. Let's just say you make it all the way up there. Okay. Rather than have you roll 15 different checks. Thank you. What are you going to do it all the way up there. Okay. Rather than have you roll 15 different checks. Thank you. What are you going to do?

You go fall. Yeah. Feather fall. Minus three to hit. Ten minutes later, the podcast is still going. Yeah, so you make it up there safely. And the ship rose off. Lork, what are you doing during this time?

I am going to Galabras in the kitchens. Galabras is crushed. And he tells you how he was thrown out of the kitchen. Oh, no! He doesn't really want to talk about it. But very politely, he explained to him that he had to tell Rag about the popcorn incident and that his services will no longer be required.

No longer? Not just for the day? Yeah, if you weren't in the bathroom, you would have heard the whole role play. I was role playing. I heard it. I was role playing as Lauren. Come on. Look, sometimes the characters don't hear what happened.

That's right. Baron, what are you doing? Oh, please. Excuse me. I just got started. I was going to Galabras, and I was going to say, all right, so he tells me this about like getting thrown out of the kitchen. Right.

And I'll put a hand on his shoulder and say, oh, book up, friend. There's, look, we all got to learn. You're not just experts at everything overnight. It'll take some time, but you'll figure it out. It looks like I've had a dime for every check I've failed. Exactly, exactly. He's like, did you almost kill yourself in the kitchen with a butcher knife to the neck? No.

It's all right. You'll live to cook another day. Can I make a bluff check to mask my tears? Yeah. Lork, roll a perception check. All right. Percept. 19. I love when we roll against each other. Yeah, it's the best.

You see that I've been crying. I'll give him a hug. Lork gives him a hug. Pulls Galabrius in. It is magical metal armor. It's heavy armor. Yeah, and you know it's not from cutting onions. Yeah. I love that a character

who hunted down a guy who was in his gang as a child and strangled the life out of him in the middle of the street just hugged a guy for crying about cooking.

Well, he's many years part of that. That was pretty fucking heavy, Joe. I love that only I and the listeners know that and the other party members don't know a long story. Exactly.

That's kind of cool. Exactly. Very cool. I'm sorry, party members don't know. Exactly. That's kind of cool. Exactly. Very cool. Sorry, but please don't tell the others. So I pull him back a little bit, and I say, of course not, of course not. But look, I need your help. There are some things that I must say I don't understand, but you are an amazing person,

and without your help, I wouldn't be able to do it I feel, I have this feeling that today is a crucial day in my training of Benverene and I just need a Desna's guiding hand to complete this this training so that he can

he can help us in future battles will you do that for me Galabras will you show me your talents this training so that he can he can help us in future battles will you do that for me Galabras will you show me your talents what yes fine yes of course

sorry anything to help right a bit of luck if you please oh yes yes Desna grace be with you all alright and then I turn like literally Ben Vereen is right behind me and Galabras is kind of

like on deck because he's been kicked out of the kitchen and I just turn to this to the like the the main mast like the base of the main mast like where Grumley's up in the crow's nest and we had been practicing on this like nub at the bottom of it where a rope was tied. And I would just turn, and I'd just go, attack!

And tell him to attack the thing, and we'll see if he learned the trick. So it's DC 20 for him to learn the trick going forward. So he'll know it after three days. No, he will still be iffy for four more days. But after four more days, I will be guaranteed that he will know it. Okay, okay. It will be in his vocabulary. And just to be clear, and I mentioned this before,

this is not the Pathfinder rule. The Pathfinder rule is like after seven days, you do the check. But what I was suggesting is a homebrew rule that I've read about, which is after three days, you let the player make the check. But what I was suggesting is a homebrew rule that I've read about, which is after three days, you let the player make the check. It's good for me, too, because I'm terrible at tracking days outside of things that tell me what day it is.

Exactly. Okay, so... What is your handle animal bonus? It's plus 10. Oh. So I just need a 10 or higher on either die. On two die. You want guidance?

Yeah, sure. Well, you're up in the crow's nest. I'll feather fall down. Gormley! He looks up. Gormley feather falls down. She hops over the side and feather falls down. Oh, yeah, I wouldn't think you, oh, is it touch?

Yeah. Guidance touch? Okay. Oh, you guys are the best. So you get a plus one and two. I rub you on the shoulder. Plus one and two die to get a ten or higher. Nine or higher.

Yeah, yeah, nine or higher. Get ready for this. Come on the shoulder. Plus one and two die to get a 10 or higher. Nine or higher. Yeah, yeah, nine or higher. Get ready for this. Come on, Lord, come on. Here we go. Natural 20. And a six. So I definitely needed the wisdom of Desna. Natty 20.

Natty 20 to train him. Maybe you picked the wrong horse with Gorim. Maybe Desna was the way to go. I'm telling you, man, who have you got more benefit from, Desna or some fucking shitty-ass Gorim? Yeah, that's true. I was preaching Desna again. Just saying. All right, so he's going to know attack.

He knows attack. Yeah, in a certain amount of days, he'll do it flawlessly, but for right now, he's going to know it, which is cool. He's making progress. So I say, attack! And he runs at the thing and starts mauling the ropes. And I'm like, oh, go, just stop, stop, stop. All right, all right, all right.

Gormley falls out of the prison. So Gormley, you go back up. The rigging just like, twang! It's like, fine. What is Baron doing during all this? Baron's actually putting the finishing touches on the railing and the new fishing equipment he's built for the boat. And he's kind of keeping an ear out to see if Howrex walks by.

Oh, okay. And if she does, does she? Yeah, at a certain point, she pokes her head out of the hatch, runs into the chart room, and then is coming back and about to go right back below deck. I say, Howrex, Howrex,

just one moment of your time. I'm sorry about everything that's been happening, but I wanted to ask you one quick question. You've got 30 seconds. I would love it. She's wearing a watch? I did gesture like I was wearing a watch. You've got 30 seconds.

I'm going to unveil tonight what I've done. I've been kind of keeping it hidden. And I was wondering if you'd like to make it a big event, a big ceremony by playing your flute at the unveiling of the new railing and fishing equipment. Because I'd love to hear it. It just needs some pomp and circumstance, you know? You're going to unveil a big thing that you've made on there and you want me to play my flute? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I think I can do that.

Sure, no problem. That would be... Oh, nice. That would be wonderful. Interesting That'd be wonderful I'd love it if you would And she goes Down to go back In the hatch

And before she Shutters she goes You know I'm not gonna Play a flute for you Idiot And she slams the hatch And so And you hear her

Down the stairs I want you to play a flute I love that the person Who plays the flute a lot Is making fun of me for it Anyway The same thing where she calls everyone women She's such a self-hating person

She's a weird orc So after that I kind of put the finishing touches On the kind of carvings I've been putting into it, the decorations, which will be unveiled at a later date, and I go to find Galabras and Lork. And you, yeah, you meet up with them. They're on deck, so they're kind of.

I'm curious. I asked Galabras because I know he works in the cooking area every day and he's not there. I said, what happened? Did you learn anything? Did you talk to Gosnok? I did. I'm not going to go too deep into the entire conversation. You were real fast now. You got

real good at cooking because you're already done. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! So, anyway, he gave me these vials. This is what he claims he put in the meat. And I don't know if you want to check it out with your... Oh, yeah, let me... That kind of looks familiar to me.

So I guess I reckon I... Good luck checking it out. Bit of luck, et cetera. Bit of luck, et cetera, et cetera. I roll a 17. A 17 on an alchemy check? Mm-hmm. 17.

A 17 on an alchemy check? Mm-hmm. One of them is a particular poison that would, with one dose, can sicken you, and with two doses, can knock you unconscious. With three doses, it could kill you. Do I know anything as to how that would pertain to a Goryon? You would know that probably with the Goryon, they were giving

multiple doses. And that's probably what the other two vials are, to temper it so that it won't actually kill it, but will keep it heavily sedated. So we know that at the time we killed him, he was sickened, which means he looks like he had the proper dose.

Or was it one less than he was supposed to get? He's supposed to have unconscious or something? Oh, was he supposed to be unconscious? Okay. I misunderstood. I think there's been a bit of a sleight of hand with Gaznak, potentially. Also, the door being unlocked, you heard the cage rattling so you don't know

because you had never went in there before what the gorilla state was in yeah if they kept him sickened so he couldn't get out or if they kept him unconscious so he couldn't even attempt it right because while sickened he could shake the cage all he wants if it was locked and not get out but while sickened

and he could shake it and the lock fell off, well, then he's going to... That's what I think happened. But also, Hal Rex seemed to be honestly surprised about that there was one on there. And the rest of the crew, we never heard anything. So I would suspect that he's been unconscious. They're keeping it sedated.

That way no one suspects he was trying. It was one for what? One dose for what? One to sicken, two for unconscious, and three for death. In a normal sized creature. So maybe it stepped one back for a large creature.

Maybe the worst you can do to it is sicken it. I'm sorry, make it unconscious. Make it unconscious. Yeah. All right. Meanwhile, in the crow's nest... Oh, fucking Christ. Roll a perception check. Plus two.

That's a ten. You roll a ten. No. that's a 10 you roll a 10 off in the distance you can see that you're maybe 15 minutes or so away from

the stop the deck is starting to get busier so the people that aren't rowing Rag is he's on the pilot deck but he's barking orders like get ready we're coming up we're coming up to the way station get ready bring up're coming up. We're coming up to the way station. We're coming up to the way station. Get ready.

Bring up the supplies. Is anyone on deck? I'm on deck. I think we're all on deck. Yeah. Okay, you can all roll perception checks. Alrighty. You just see like a small building and a dock is all you can see.

27 for Lork on the perception. 27? What about Baron and Galabras? Nine. No, 13. Lork, you can see from the deck that it looks like the dock where the boat would moor has been destroyed. Oh. What?

And it's not long before the boat gets closer, and you can all see this. Gormley, you see it first, and you're amazed that you didn't see it beforehand because it's pretty clearly broken. Is there smoke? You don't see any smoke. Okay. But Blood Tusk jumps off the pilot deck, goes over to the hatch, opens up the thing, and yells to Hal Rex to stop rowing.

Rowing, yeah. And he says, there's been some treachery here. This isn't right. I was just here a week ago, 15 days ago, and that dock was sturdy and whole. Something, something is afoot here. These are good people, the Knights of Ozem. They take care of me, I take care of them, and I'm sure

you, he points to Galabras, can understand their importance. Yes, yes. I am very concerned about this, and this isn't a money thing. I know I'm I lost money on the guerrilla. This isn't about getting money for these supplies. This is about the safety of these people that allow me

to traverse their lands. Would you be willing to take a jolly boat ashore and just carefully make sure everything's okay? Absolutely. I will tell you that it's probably... You might just find death. But be careful. And, uh...

Just feel free to take the jolly boat ashore and we'll wait here for you. Thank you. Thank you. Of course. Fuck. Don't exert yourselves. Just stay here and rest. All right.

All right. All right, angry skid. Wait, hold on. I just want some clarification on what we're looking at. Uh-huh. So is it like a market in a town and everything like that, and it's deserted in a broken dock? Nope, it is like a way station.

Just a dock and a way station. A dock and a way station, slightly offshore, and you would think that this is so they can drop off supplies here to bring them inland to one of the castles. Or castles. And is the way station, does it appear like destroyed or uh you're too far offshore at this point all you can really see is the destruction let's get in the boat and hurry up and row to shore yeah i hope they don't abandon us here

gormley hops down and comes with you and greatly increases our odds of survival though to be off this boat yeah that's true. Are we going armored? Yeah, absolutely, yeah. Fully armored. Fully armored. Armed and armored, as they say. The Jolly Boat sticks.

Everybody roll swim checks to drown. Drink the elixir. Lork, you have 24 rounds. Okay, so you can see, you jump on the Jolly Boat and start pushing. I'm sure Gormley's using her hair to row the Jolly Boat ashore. As you get closer to the dock, you see that a broken pier rises from the gently flowing waters of the river.

Its pilings blackened by fire and splintered by what you would assume to be axe a single axe? it looks like it's been chopped at body spray axe body spray, yes devastating

corrosive the dock smells terrible smells like a frat boy smells like a nightclub to even call it a dock would be foolish because there's really only a few The dock smells terrible. It smells like a frat boy. It smells like a nightclub. To even call it a dock would be foolish because there's really only a few waterlogged planks remaining, hanging sort of drunkenly from twisted nails. Twisted nails?

Twisted nails? Oh! Call back! Foreshadowing. A path you can see beyond... That's a talented DM right there. You can see beyond the shattered dock is a path leading up

towards a small stone building atop a low hill nearby. You can see that in the distance. Everyone roll a perception check. I'll roll over my 27. 20. Natural 20 for Gormley.

Alright, I got a 23 this time. Still good. Ooh. 26. It's 26 for Gormley as well. All of you, as you are maybe 5, 10 feet from the shore, see a bloated corpse of an orc tangled in the nearby reeds. Let's approach it.

Yeah. Just a regular-sized orc. Regular-sized or Just a regular sized orc Regular sized orc A super orc No Regular sized orc So okay Cautiously approach it

To exactly So wait we get to the shore You get to the shore You tie the boat to the Yeah What's left of the pilings Yeah Gorma's gonna cast mage armor

Okay Noted Two hours pass Lurk is gonna Okay. Noted. Two hours pass. Two hours later. Lurk is going to say, The boat is tied. Bedverine, come. Oh, by the way,

I took the Buckler plus one that we found. It doesn't look like anyone else can use it anyway. The mud-caked Buckler. Did you clean it? I cleaned it. Did you roll a clean check? I took 20. Okay.

Good answer. It says it in the book. I cast cleanse on it. Did you prepare cleanse? I did, and then I used it. That's a fifth level cleric spell. I know. I cast wish.

Make it clean. I used my scroll. Okay, so you guys are at the foot of the hill, and you can see leading up to the hill corpses of both orcs and direwolves. What? This may be like one, one and a half bodies of direwolves, and then three corpses of orcs.

And how were they killed? Does it look like all kind of axe wound kind of situations? Slashing? Looks like slashing. Any natural attacks? Like claws? One has an arrow right through its eye. Another one looks like it was hit with some sort of slashing weapon.

Well, would it make sense that the knights are human, right? Yeah. Would it make sense that the knights were beset upon by orcs and that this was their defense of their... But then where are they? Can I... No, sure, but I'm just saying, like, theoretically, this could be a theory.

That's what your initial impression is. Okay, all right. You know, that's a good way of putting it. Can I pull an arrow out of one that's on the ground, maybe, that didn't get there, and look for any insignias, and then if I find any, I'll show it to you. Acme. As if found, return to Steve. Property of the twisted nail show.

Yeah, property of the twisted nail show. No, it just looks like a regular. No postage required. Call Grensel Deck. But you can tell that it was fletched by crackmen. Can I roll a knowledge local to see if the twisted nails

Sorry. The twisted nails If their calling sign is leaving a twisted nail behind? No, to see if they often travel with direwolves. Because Screed was always accompanied by a direwolf. I just want to know who these craftsmen are that fletched these arrows.

You didn't like fletch? I love fletch. I watched fletch a week ago. I'm just glad that he could tell it was fletched by a craftsman. He's 6'3", 6'5", with the arrow. I almost said felched. That's gross. Oh, I'm glad you got that.

I gave you that opportunity the arrow is fell she throws it at the ground get it out of there sorry you can you can roll a knowledge local 16

the only sense that you get is that you saw Screed had it and you would think that it would be common among these wild orcs to make their companions with woodland creatures

is it a a sign that a dire wolf means that they're this group or this group? You don't know that. Are they all orcs? Are there any half orcs? These are all full-blooded orcs. Do they have any insignias on their person? We're going to search all the bodies that we can.

Do any of them have magical falchions? No. Damn it. You didn't even have me roll. Yeah, they all have the basic weapons that you've seen before. No special armor, no real gold between them. Maybe if you want to loot the bodies, you might find five or six gold between them. They're mercenaries.

Would it be some more common knowledge that would orcs uh like attack a way station like this by boat like do they move by boat and attack by boat ever or is it all like land attacks would they just be coming from another settlement over land to attack you don't know for sure like you don't have any like you would know but from back of the day they'll by any means, but you would think in the hold of Beltson that they would come from somewhere else in the land. And there are no other boats.

That's how I was going to end the thing. So you guys are at the bottom of the hill and you see these bodies littered up and what's the party order look like? Are you guys, is someone stealthing ahead? Is someone just kind of, let's go, playing the flute. Can I do a survival check to see if there is any indication of like, you know, like

retreating, like armored troops that, you know, were like falling back in this attack? Sure. Take a look. I'll do it too. Yeah, just, I got 13. Not worth it. Not even worth saying. Footprints are going every which way. It's just a look. I'll do it, too. Yeah, I got 13. Not worth it. Not even worth saying. Footprints are going every which way.

Yeah, just a battle. Okay. All right. A good roll would have given you something. Yeah, I had a feeling. All right, so we'll start approaching. Lork will go up front with Ben Vereen, and I'll also do a perception check just for danger up at the way station

if there's anyone looking at us or if there's any, you know, arrows pointed through any windows. Ooh, 25. That's a perception check? Yeah, perception. You see ahead of you the stone building. On the left

connected to it are stables. And you hear coming from the area of the stables. From the stone building, there are stairs leading up to a small platform and a door that enters into the stone building.

To the right is the stables where you hear that. I think we approach the stables. Yes. Yeah. Lurkle slowly approaches. I'm behind you. No one has knowledge nature, do they? I do. I do. You might be able to tell what kind of... Can I roll a knowledge nature? Knowledge nature?

Is that relevant? You can try it. Natural 20 on the knowledge nature. It's so weird that you lied about so many rolls tonight. I have rolled better tonight than I have in my entire time. 11 for Lark. A knowledge nature to try and figure out what that sound is. What species it's coming from.

28 over here. Big shot. What you gather from 28 is whatever it is, it is not a medium-sized creature making that noise. Great. It's got a lot of base. In fact, it may be medium-sized creature. I mean, not medium-sized creatures.

So it might be multiple large creatures. All right, so let's steel ourselves for battle and move forward. Yep. So do you move up to the stable? Yeah. Okay. I cast Gunslinger's Armor. Gunslinger's Armor.

What the hell is that? Not just me. Who are you all of a sudden? Is anyone stealthing, or is everyone just kind of Going out? Stealth, I mean I assume Clunky McArmor over here is going to stealth up I mean I have a low check

If you're going to lead the group I'll let the person leading the party stealth That would be Ben Vereen Do you want Ben Vereen? Ben Vereen can look back And like give you the whole Two enemies Alright alright alright Fair enough

I'll do it I have I actually have a stealth score So But do you want to be Head of the party? Yeah sure Okay

Oh Tough strong words Gunslinger Stealth up there Fuck Fifteen Stealth Fuck fuck fuck

With a fifteen stealth Fuck. 15, stealth. Fuck, fuck, fuck. With a 15 stealth, I only rolled a 14%. Oh, fuck, yes. You kind of stealth ahead. You tell the other guy to stand back for a second. You look around the stables, and you see two direwolves feasting on the corpse of a horse.

Shh, please. We could fuck these things up in no time. Why do you hate horses? Troy. Yeah, Troy. Troy personally. I changed all the things they feast on to be horses. How far away are they from me?

And how far away is the party from me? The party is 10 feet behind you you and they are 25 feet away. 25. Because 20 would be too easy. Well played, Troy. Apparently you looked at Baron's character sheet. You can see, and you know, I'll give you a little more information.

You see a hitching post standing outside a simple stable with two stalls built along the the eastern wall of the way station okay uh clearly you would think two horses are normally housed here um and they are not uh the uh there are a bunch of like black tip javelins piercing the the flanks of the horse and the direwolves are just kind of eating around it. I do a perception check to see if I can hear or see any evidence of recent

humanoid movement. Okay, roll a perception check. That is a 26. You see it, the sign of the same kind of thing that Lork was seeing. You just see struggle and then there are footprints going into the way station itself. Can I walk into the way station from here? How far away is it? Well, the party's behind you.

You can all go back. They're closer to the door than you are. The way station is connected to the stables. The stables make up the eastern wall. But then as you're walking up, in front of you was little stairs going up to a platform and a door that leads into The way station is connected to the stables. The stables make up the eastern wall. But then as you were walking up, in front of you was little stairs going up to a platform and a door that leads into the way station. You guys went around to the right and saw

well, you saw at least. I make this hand signal to the party. Party, look at me. I go... Really good for radio. Did you guys all get that at home yeah so i did i did a bang bang signal and then i asked for a thumbs up inquisitively lork gave a thumbs up all right i take a hazard another five steps towards the wolves

actually are they large creatures they They are indeed large creatures. Yeah, I'm going to take five foot closer to them. And what is your plan? To shoot one of them? With my gun? The reason I ask is because we'll all have to roll for initiative. Yeah! All right.

I thought, hey, maybe we could end the episode here. I said, you know what? Fuck it. We're doing the combat. Yeah! We're going to do a longer episode. we could end the episode here. I said, you know what? Fuck it. We're doing the combat. Yeah! We're going to do a longer episode. Yes, let's do it. Let's do it.

All right. I'm going to start with Ben Vereen this time. Nope. Should have started with Lord. All right. Nine. All right. Nine, four, the labrador.

Gormley rolled a natural one. Oh, no. Gorms, we need those nexus, dog. So that's an eight for Gormley. All right. So it's going to be, what's going on? Who got above 20? Anybody?

Nope. Oh, Lork got 18. And Benverine? 17. Baron? 15. All right. But it is a surprise round, and Baron, you act first.

So Baron... Because he's the only one that knows there's two direwolves, right? Right. So think of it as a... I mean, we know there are enemies. Right. Baron gives you the signal. Bang, bang, bam. He steps up five feet, gets up close and deadly, and he fires his gun.

He steps to the beat. He steps to the beat. Boop, boop, boop. So he's going to do deadly aim, point-blank shot, and up close and deadly on these motherfuckers. I've had this sailing sound going on for far too long. I just realized. Sailing.

That is a 14 against touch AC. 14 against touch AC, and they're flat-footed. Not that it matters, because you hit them. Nice. So that is seven. Oh, no, I already did that. So that's seven plus five is 12 points of damage. 12 points of damage.

All right. Nice opening volley. Is that the lead, Darrell? And I move. They're kind of equidistant. They're shouting on the same. Should I move ten feet back towards you guys? Well, you moved five feet up to take that shot. Oh, right, right, right.

Okay. So I rapid reload. Okay, so you rapid reload, and you're within 20 feet. Okay, it is now Lork's turn. Lork, you are. Can I see them? You are 15 feet from the curve, and then it would take another five feet to get within 20. But you don't see them.

Well, I hear the gunshot. So I have to go around a corner somewhere? Yeah. You hear the gunshot. Yeah, because you guys are, like, skulking along the wall. And Baron sneaks up ahead, stealths up ahead, looks around the corner, sees this, tells you, I'm going to shoot him, steps up five feet and shoots him. So now Baron's out of your sight.

Okay. So I'm going to run up to where Baron is. Uh-huh. And then I can see. You can see, yeah. You see two dire wolves eating a horse. So I will run up to where Baron is, just kind of like five feet behind him. Wait.

I can only move 20 feet. Yeah, so you can get within, like you can do range combat, but it's going to take you another turn. But I can get to him. It's going to take you, Gormley, and Galabras to all get up to them. But probably Gormley and Galabras don't need to get up there. It's going to take you two turns to get up there. So I'm going to get up there. I'm going to tell Ben Vereen to come to me as my free push action this round.

And then I'm going to fire with my bow. Okay. At the dire wolf that has a bullet wound. Right, so the one bleeding out of its side. Exactly. bow at the dire wolf that has a bullet wound. Right, so the one bleeding out of its side. Exactly. 26 to hit, fuck, it's a natural 19 with the foul shit. It's a critical, but not with a bow. Not with a bow.

Oh, shit. God damn it. And they're flat footed because they haven't gone yet in the first round. Yeah, but remember this is my new upgraded bow, which is awesome. Definitely. All right, and it is six points of damage.

Six points of damage, all right. So the first dire well, boom, hit with a bullet. Boom, hit with an arrow. Pissed off. Yeah. Benverine. Benverine is going to come to Lork. Right, he followed you. Yeah, and that's all he's going to do for this round.

He just comes to Lord cause he doesn't know what the danger is. He doesn't know anything that's going on. Okay. Benverine comes and now it is Baron's actual turn. Uh, Baron, uh, what is it? Oh yeah. He shoots the wolf again. Same wolf.

Yep. Yep. Yep. The wolf. Well, actually how they're 20 feet away. Mm-hmm. There are two of them? Yep, there's two of them.

And there's a five-foot space between them. I almost want to use my... Doing this one all, theater of the mind. I almost want to use my flash cartridge, flare cartridge,

to blind them. I only have one left, though, and I feel like that might be... Wait, Baron's going again? Yeah, he acted in the surprise round. Now it's his actual initiative order. I was thinking about using my flare cartridge, though, and I feel like that might be... Wait, Baron's going again? Yeah, he acted in the surprise round.

Now it's his actual initiative order. I was thinking about using my flare cartridge on them, but I think that'd be better against a larger group of humanoid people. Yeah. I feel like one left. I would just shoot him. Okay. Shoot him, Dad!

Shoot her! That is a 22 to hit. Definite hit. And I do 6 points of damage 6 points Alright And now The wolves

First wolf comes up To Baron Tries to bite Natural 20 No Rolls to confirm 14

Does not confirm No confirmation No confirmation Okay he still is going to do some Damage he does 14 Points of damage maxed Damage on Baron and then Attempts to trip so like

Latches on your leg with his jaws and tries to pull you down to the ground to shake you to death. And it is a 14 against your CMD. Failure. All right, so you're not tripped, but you did take 14 points of damage. And now it is the other wolf's turn.

The other wolf runs up to Lork and tries to do the same exact thing. Goes to bite Lork. Oh, definitely bites Lork with a 25. And hits Lork for 12 points of damage. Just again, locks onto your leg and then tries to pull you to the ground, Lork.

What would Ben do? And it will be a 15 against your CMD. I believe your CMD is a 19. Am I right? What are you, creeping on my shit? I just like listening to past episodes so I can smile. So you are both not tripped,

but you both take a good chunk out of your leg, Gormley. So can I see Lork get hit, or is he also around the corner? You just hear bang, bang, and then ah, ah. Okay, so I'm going to. That was just like listening to Baldur's Gate back in the day. Time for a little bit of the rough and tumble. You're 15 feet away from the corner where you can turn and see this action. All right, Gromley will run up to the corner so she can see what's going on.

Okay. And so she sees this two wolves, one engaged with Baron, one engaged with Mork. Correct. All right. There we go. Gormley's going to evil eye the wolf that is with Baron for its attack rolls.

Okay, that is the one that's already taken significant damage. Yeah. Okay. But Baron has got hit worse. I can see that. You can see that, yep.

So I'm going to evil eye that. Thank you. And its will that, yep. So I'm going to evil eye him. Thank you. And its will save is 18. It passes. So for one round, it has a, how many, yeah, for one round,

it has a minus two to its attack rolls. Minus two attack to the one that just took a almost critted Baron. So you better kill it now. Galabras. I'm going to move up. Put your dogs out!

Sorry. So can I move within sight of one of the wolves to shoot with a range attack? Yes, absolutely, because they've moved up. You'll take the minus four because they're in melee, but you can move 15 feet up and shoot with a minus four at either the one that's attacking Baron that looks like it's taking more damage

or the one that's attacking Lork. All right, I'm going to shoot the one that's looked like it's taking more damage. Okay, that's the one attacking Baron. Ah. Yeah, that's eight. The arrow sails past and hits Ben Vereen. God damn it.

Okay, round two, Lork. Uh, Baron? Is it? No, no, no. Surprise round. Surprise round, right, right, right. Um, okay, oh, so there's a dire wolf right in front of me. So I will sheathe the bow, draw the...

Actually, I'll drop the bow, draw the falchion. Does that provoke or no? It's quick draw, yeah. Quick draw, that's right. I always forget you have quick draw. So he'll pull that out, take a swing at the guy, and miss. Miss. God damn it!

Fuck. Okay. Missed. But you know who can make up for the faults of the father? Ben Vereen. Yes, yes, Ben! So Ben's right next to you.

So, yeah, so as part of his free action, he's going to say, attack! Now, I still got to roll for it. Ben is? That's the thing. Well, I guess here,

the thing already attacked me, so is it cool that he... I meant Ben says attack? No. Yeah, no, why can't you tell it to attack? Because technically he doesn't know the trick for another four days, like guaranteed. Well, you've got to push it, don't you?

Yeah. So I... Yeah. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

So I've got to push it to attack. Oh! I got it, actually. You pushed it? Yeah, I pushed it. I got it at 26 on thele Animal, and then he will... Well, he was right next to me, and the thing attacked me, so is he in full attack action range, Ben?

You told him to come last round, and he's right next to you. The wolf came up. Yeah, he's diagonal, like you're right there, and Ben Vereen's right there. Yeah, you can go full attack. So full attack action, claw, hits. Well, I assume the AC is 20. Yeah, 20 hits.

So hit 16 on the second claw. Yeah, hit. Hit, hit. So one claw does two damage. Another claw does two damage. And then bite 12, 13. Miss. Okay.

So what does Ben do? Is he biting at its legs? Or is he just kind of... Miss. Okay. So what does Ben do? Is he biting at its legs or? Yeah. Okay. Baron. Baron's going to take a five foot step back and shoot the wolf that is wounded already. Okay. 10 against touch.

10 against touch. We really have to get a gun sound effect. The bullet On the right Misses the wolf And now Rapid reload It is the wolf's turn With a minus 2 to attack

Courtesy of Gormley Goes to bite Baron And Misses Yeah 11 And then the other wolf and misses. Yeah, 11.

And then the other wolf goes to bite Ben Vereen, because it felt this nibbling in its ankles, goes to bite Ben, 24. Yeah, that hits. He hits Ben for, are you ready? 13 points of damage. Oh, no. And then attempts to just drag Ben to the the ground right through the mud and trip him.

Oh, that's awful. How do you trip a four-legged animal? And it's a 20. Just knocks him prone, I'm assuming, his CMD is. Oh, you know what's interesting? His stats lay out, and he has a higher CMD against trip than any other thing. Huh. Oh, yeah. Probably because he's so low to the ground.

Yeah. He's a squat creature. His trip CMD is 32. Oh, so he doesn't trip? No, I'm just kidding. It's not that high up. He does trip. That would make sense, though, bro.

I know. He's this tiny little four-legged animal. It's like a squirrel. How do you trip a squirrel? 13 points of damage. It falls to the ground, and I'm assuming it begins raging. Yes. And it is now Gormley's turn.

Gormley will hex the wolf that just tripped Benverine. He will attempt to hex. Evil Eye attack rolls. Okay. And it rolled a nine. So it fails. Okay. And I'll cackle to extend to seven rounds.

And now Calabras. I'm gonna fire. You know what, I'm gonna cast a true strike on myself. Ah. My first level domain spell. Okay, round three. Lork. Lork, you just see your new friend. You just taught him the basics of attack.

He looks like, no, Ben! And it worked. And now he's gonna, Lork is gonna swing. 23 to hit with the Falchion. 23 hits. And he'll do... Hella damage? 11 points of damage.

Hella damage. Nice job. There you go. Now, wait a minute. Is the one that's attacking me the one that did not take bullet and arrow damage? Correct. That one has only been hit by you and Ben Vereen at this point. Okay.

Yeah, Baron, you attack the first. Baron came up. This kid's never going to get over it. It's so crazy. Baron snuck up, shot one. You came up, arrowed it. Then Baron shot it again. And then one came up arrowed it then baron shot it again and then one came up and attacked baron baron's been dealing with that one the other one

came up and attacked you and then ben varine bit it and then it attacked ben varine and you just slashed it with the falchion right just to give you a little recap speaking of ben varine he's up okay ben varine's up for three not really up he's's, oh, right, right, so he can't do the. Tripped and raged. Well, I mean, he's got no choice, so he's going to. Have to stand. Attempt to get up on his feet.

Which will provoke. Which will provoke. From LeWolf. But he'll stand up with rage. 22 to hit Ben Vereen. Oh, fuck. Yeah, that hits. And it's for 11 points of damage,

so it sees him getting up, and it just smells fresh prey, and's for 11 points of damage. So it sees him getting up, and it just smells fresh prey. And just, pah, 11 points of damage. He's unconscious and dying. Oh, no. Ben! So it doesn't matter that he's tripped. Yeah, but somebody better stabilize Ben. And now it is Baron's turn.

Baron's got to get, he's feeling a little desperate. Five foot step back from the wolf that just missed. And we'll get up close and deadly okay so you've just been kind of backing up since you got here backing up pile that is a 18 against touch ac

and that is 15 points of damage the wolf topples to the ground one down grit point and now it is the one standing wolf's The wolf topples to the ground. Grit point, Ben. One down. Grit point. And now it is the one standing wolf remaining his turn. He goes to bite Lork and misses with a 13, I'm assuming. Good, yeah. And now it is Gormley's turn.

Do you want me to stabilize Ben Vereen over there, Galabras? He cast True Strike on himself Yeah Alright, so I'll cast Stabilize on Ben Vereen Do you have to touch him? Nope Wow, that's really nice Oh, that's so nice

You guys are all a good unit We love that fucking Wolverine Yeah I just want to be able to say Ben Vereen does things like rage And claw things a lot more on the podcast. Yeah. That's a good reason. And I'll cackle some more to extend the hex on that Wolverine.

I would think that the wolf may want to roll an intelligence check next round to decide if he's going to attack Lork or if he's going to go after the fresh meat that is dying in front of him with Ben Vereen. But Galabras, you have a true strike. You are horrible. Fucking prick. You do that and watch your fan base plummet! Seriously, you know how much people love fucking Ben Vereen? The actual

Ben Vereen and the one on the podcast. Don't be pressured by the audience. He is such a winning performer. I'll see anything he does. We've got magic to do I'm gonna once so I'm gonna shoot at the one that is menacing there's only one up Ben three right that's the only that's right right now you take a minus four to attack but you get a plus 20 cumulative plus 60 no so it's a 31 to hit boom the arrow just right into its flank and

where's my fucking eight there it is thank you six points of damage six points of damage that sounded good that sounded good

it howls out in pain that was good was that sirenscape or just just the great guys in this room it is now Lork's turn Lork is furious Was that Syrinscape or just the great guys in this room? It is now Lork's turn.

Lork is furious. If he had rage powers, he'd use them right now. In a non-mechanical rage, Lork swings down with a falchion at this thing in fury. For what looks to him like he's killed Ben Vrain. crit no crit get out of here 18 natural 18 confirmants what times three for a falchion no times two it's 18 to 20 though okay 20 does uh does not oh no I rolled a three on the control god damn it what is that with your bonus uh to hit it's eleven eleven now yeah fuck fucker shit

uh god damn it that was such perfect timing yeah uh alright here we go um oh that's good uh ten points of damage ten points of damage it's still alive fuck Oh, that's good. Ten points of damage. Ten points of damage. It's still alive.

And Benverine is stabilized, so he does not have to roll a constitution save at the moment. Benverine is stabilized. The wolf looks at Benverine. But because you just hit it with a falchion, it goes to bite you. All right. Good choice.

And it rolls a 14 to hit. Misses. Off the armor. You got your real armor on. Yep. All right, good choice. And it rolls a 14 to hit. Misses, off the armor, clang. You got your real armor on. Yep, got the metal armor going. And now it is Gorbly's turn. Hey, don't I go after him? Oh, I'm sorry, you go after Ben Vereen. You should've went before the wolf did. Yeah, I just didn't want to talk.

Hey, motherfucker. Baron, you're up before the wolf. Time to put this Lobo to bed. Minus one to attack. So that is a 23 minus four, 19 against Touch AC, and that is seven points of damage. And the wolf falls. Yeah! Does Baron do anything else other than kill things instantly at will?

I've been waiting to put my hot gun barrel on someone's wound to stop bleeding, but that has not just happened in the game yet. I can do that too. It's a shame Gormley stabilized. Everyone roll a perception check. Here comes the rest of the army.

19. 13. 11. Lork, you here 19 18 13 11 Lork you hear coming possibly from inside

the way station a what sounds like a female voice cry out in pain oh fuck that guess we'll have to find out what happens next week

oh we're going in that's what happens next week we're gonna run away and never come back stop it G happens next week. Oh, we're going in. That's what happens next week. We're going to run away and never come back. Stop it, Glamrs. No, you're right. We should go on this. Steal yourself! Outro Music