The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 41 - Bilge of Spies

Episode Date: March 8, 2016

The battle beneath the decks of the Chelish Devil reaches a bloody conclusion and the identity of the stowaway is finally revealed. But was she acting alone? And does an even greater threat await our heroes topside? For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. It's actually extremely hard to hit an invisible creature. Shockingly, shockingly. The battle below decks continues. I'm just going to do something I never do. I'm going to... Roll successfully. A whole...

Take that, Lork. Boom, boom. Tables will turn. That really is a terrible thing to happen right now. The wrath of Baron will be felt. I've made reservations for you and your lover in hell. And a crucial interrogation may bring the truth to light. What did they do to help you?

They did whatever they chose to do. Who was it? A name. Give us a name. Now. Was it the captain? The adventure continues now. What's going on, faithful listeners? This is Troy LaVallee, DM to the stars.

And by stars, I mean the cheating losers that I play with. No, I'm just kidding. They're not cheaters. First and foremost, I'm looking at the numbers here, and I think this is just an estimate, but it looks like we have 9 million new subscribers, I think, which is pretty amazing. The number of new people finding us,

both gamers and non-gamers alike, is staggering to us. And honestly, it's because of you people. You people. Seriously, just by telling the gals and guys in your gaming group to us. And honestly, it's because of you people. You people. Seriously, just by telling the gals and guys in your gaming group to give us a listen, it's such a huge help to us. Or if you can do what one of our listeners did, want to give a shout out to trustydryingpan, who posted a blog about us on imgur.com. Is that how you say it? Imgur or imager? Anyway, I-M-G-U-R.com. I don't even know what the hell it is because evidently I'm a

completely out of touch 37 year old. But I do know if you post something about us on Imgur, it means approximately 100,000 people will then immediately start listening to our show. So thank you, trusty drying pan. You're doing yeoman's work for us and we salute you. I want to give a plug this week to a service I just started using from Lone Wolf Development called Hero Lab. And this is not a paid for advertisement either a service I just started using from Lone Wolf Development called Hero Lab. And this is not a paid-for advertisement either. This is just me giving some love to this product because it is, and I'm not exaggerating, the absolute best character creation software out there and an essential companion to any game you are playing in.

I don't know how I live without it. I told you all the other day, how did I live without this? They have it for Pathfinder, D&D 5e, if you like that crap, Shadowrun, you name it. I told you all the other day, how did I live without this? They have it for Pathfinder, D&D 5e, if you like that crap, Shadowrun, you name it. I can't even express to you how cool this product is, whether you're a GM or a player. If you're using it for Pathfinder, they have two different ways you can buy into the system, either by purchasing the content for each rulebook individually and building your characters that way, or by purchasing these things they call class packs, which give you access to like four or five different classes with all the data from every Pathfinder book that's

come out, but just for those classes. I don't even think I can do it justice talking about it, but if you take yourself seriously as a nerd, you owe it to yourself to get this shit now. They even have a bundle I bought with every single encounter for all six books of Giant Slayer, so now I can stare at stat blocks for encounters that will happen 100 episodes from now as I lull myself to sleep at night. We went through a lot of possible titles for this week's episode. Bilge Over Troubled Waters. The Bilge on the River-esque was a popular one.

I personally liked Scredent's Bilgewater Revival, but that didn't pass. Skid's original title was Dianoga Alley. That's a deep cut for you. But in the end, we thought we'd let the creative mind behind such thrilling fantasy names as Lork the Orc and Jasun the Sun come up with the title this week. So without further ado, here's episode 41, Bilge of Spies. Good one, Joe. Now, where were we? Oh, I don't know. I think you are, you guys, that was the end of

Oh, it was mid-combat. It was mid-combat, and it was not I was thinking about this, the first time in the history of the show, that's what you said. Stopped mid-combat? Yeah, the screed fight. The big two-parter. How perhaps appropriate. Oh, see it is Malera.

It's Toad's Malera. Wait, there's no photo in the locket, just her hair. I was going to compare. I'm going to spend a standard action to look at the locket. Do a perception check on her hair. Oh yeah, I totally will do that. Do a perception check to see if she's wearing a fucking locket. With a picture screen just like

thumbs up, big smile. What's got two thumbs and was killed by a dwarf this guy so top of round two Gormley with an incredible battlefield control spell webs the area

she succeeds on the save, does not get trapped so what does she do? she goes invisible you don't see her she's gone, I'm taking her off the map does not get trapped. So what does she do? She goes, wham, wham, invisible. And you don't see her. She's gone. I'm taking her off the map. And, you know... Now, if she does move, we would see the web move. With an appropriate perception check. Yes.

Yes, you would. Let me just do a little rolling on my own here. Okay. Very nice. Maybe one of these. A little rolling of my own here. Okay. Very nice. Maybe one of these. A little bit of that. Okay. What is she taking an action right now?

Is that what you're doing? You don't have to worry about it, Joe. What happens behind the screen stays behind the screen. Put it back in your pads. Gormley, you want to roll a perception check? I think any of us looking at it. Yeah, I think we all do. Well, you know what?

It's your turn, Gormley, so you can roll a perception check if you so choose. us looking at it. Yeah, I think we all do. Well, you know what? It's your turn, Gromley, so you can roll a perception check if you so choose. I will, as a free action. I'd rather close my eyes and plug my ears and not pay attention at all to what's happening in front of me. 11. You don't know nothing. You just saw the woman disappear. Rachel McAdams. Alrighty.

She's very attractive. From True Detective, Rachel McAdams. Badass. I'm going to attractive. From True Detective, Rachel McAdams. Badass. I'm going to touch Baron and cure light wounds. Oh, you're the fucking man. Oh, what a dude. You are the fucking dude. Eight points of damage.

Eight points of damage. Oh, no. I accidentally caused light wounds. I've been holding that and caused light wounds. He's been doing these amazing concentration checks. You just outright killed Baron.

And I'm going to same inflict he's been doing these amazing concentration checks you just outright killed burn uh and i'm gonna take a five foot step back behind glabrous into the sludge no ah jumping into the sludge yeah i'll do that yeah you're the dead corpse of a snake lorik you're up uh so you know what when we are, like, in between episodes, we end up talking about stuff, you know, that happened and kind of what we want to do or what we're thinking. I discourage it, but yes. Yes, well, we do it when you're not around. Right. And Grant was kind of running through, like, what can we do to see an invisible creature? Like, you know, she goes invisible. What can we do?

And, you know, obviously there's the idea that you could see the webs moving or whatever, but beyond that, if there wasn't a web spell, is there a spell or something? That kind of stuff doesn't really come in until a higher level, though Skid mentioned Glitter Dust, which is a first-level wizard spell that covers her in a glittery dust that makes it so you can obviously see her when she's invisible. But this whole time, I didn't think about it until just now that we have a secret invisibility killing weapon in the form of mr ben varine oh ben varine has an ability called

scent which means he doesn't need to see shit to know almost exactly where she is. Really? What is it, like a 20% mischance? A 50% mischance? No. What he knows is if the creature is within 60 feet, he knows what direction it is in, like with some reasonable accuracy. Not what square, but kind of what direction it is in. That's my understanding.

If he rolls a DC 10 survival check, and he does have a survival skill, plus one bonus, along with scent, he can track the way, like the general direction. And then if the creature is within five feet, like if

the creature is within five feet of Ben Vereen, he absolutely knows exactly where she is, like what square she's in, and can fully attack. Now, I think that there is still concealment and all that kind of stuff, but Ben Vereen should be able to sniff it out. Right, but you've got to handle Ben. Can we give him a circumstance bonus

by allowing Ben to smell her hair from the locket? Oh! Go get her, Ben, smell her hair from the locket. Go get her, Ben. I like that. Assuming it's her. It is a move action to note the direction. Even to know the direction is a move action. Yeah, I mean, that's as far as I know.

That's what I understand of it. So he could basically double move to point the way. Okay, I'm sorry. It is 30 feet. It's 60 feet if the creature is upwind, and I don't think there's going to be any wind down here. So it's 30 feet. 30 feet from where Ben Vereen is.

Ben Vereen is using his move action to tell this, and Lork doesn't have to. Well, you know. Right, right. Whatever, to tell this. And Lork doesn't have to. Well, you know. Right, right. Whatever. You tell me. So detecting where she went. I'm going to push him.

I'm going to be like, track her, find her. It'll be a high roll. Roll to push. Okay. Roll to push. Fail, obviously. It's a 20. I rolled a 20.

It's not that bad. That being said, you do see Ben Vereen sniffing in the same direction in which she was. Yeah. Oh, okay. So she could still be caught in the web. Okay, then I – She could very well be still caught in the web. All right. I don't think I can do another move action with him.

All right, then Lork is going to – he's going to step up a little bit in the muck. He can only move 10 feet in the muck, but he's going to arm. No, he's just going to hold his action there with the falch. Lork steps up in the muck holding his action just to see how this all goes down. Well, he's going to ready an action. If she appears right in front of him, he's going to swing a falchion at her. Right in front of him. Or within range.

Yeah, exactly. Within melee range. If she appears within melee range. But she won't. I mean, she's a bow check. Mainly, I'm trying to stay outside of the web right now. I can't move into the web. Right, yeah. I mean, that's the thing about Gromley's Spell.

I don't know if it's something you can or would even want to dispel. I don't think you can. Yeah, it might not be one of those ones that you can. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. It has a D next to the... Oh, and you can dispel. I mean, you'll have to decide if that's something... Otherwise, how many rounds does it last?

10 minutes per level, so 40 minutes. Forever. I also wanted to do a perception check on the webs to see if she moved through it. Are you saying that I can't do that? Yeah, he should get one, too. You can, if you're doing your turn. 19.

No. Don't you dare. 19 no the DC even with the web is still so high you know it's not 40 anymore but it's just it's so high you really have to you're looking at moving of webs

and the boat is moving it's not as clear as you may imagine it to be also there's a lot of webs between Ben Vereen has a 60 foot there we go he just, there's a lot of webs. There's wind, and Ben Vereen has a 60-foot... There we go. He knows.

He just said there's wind. But do you know what I mean? Like, it's... Well, yeah, there's a lot of webs. There's a lot of webs. There's a lot of webs even before the webs she's moving through, because it was 20 feet between us and her of webs. So, yeah, I could tell it's difficult.

Baron. Can I even, like, make... If I were to just shoot my gun right ahead where her last known whereabouts were. First off, perception check. Sure. 13. No, you. Can I target her? The rule says you cannot.

You can't target an invisible creature. With a ranged attack, a creature that has total concealment, you can't make an attack. I mean, that's kind of the way I read it. I think it's kind of strange because obviously if you want to assume a square, you can just shoot at anything. Right. And he can roll some random thing to see if it hits her. But generally speaking, if an opponent has total concealment from you, you can't make ranged attacks against them. If you have some idea of where they are, they get 50% concealment from you, you can't make ranged attacks against them. If you have some idea of where they are,

they get 50% concealment. If you know a specific square you're shooting at. It's actually extremely hard to hit an invisible creature. Shockingly. I've played in games where it's like, well, I think he's there. I'm going to attack. Alright, 50% mischance. No, it's very, very hard.

The base DC, if they're not moving and doing anything, is DC 40, maybe even more than that. It, very hard. Yeah. The base DC, if they're not moving and doing anything, is DC 40, maybe even more than that. Like, it's very hard. So. She's smart. I'm going to step behind Ben Vereen, and I'm going to take my last potion of cure light.

Okay, so you kind of retreat behind Ben. Max. Nice. There you go. We needed that. Much needed. We need a live gunslinger. Healing. There you go. We needed that. Much needed. We need a live gunslinger. Healing.

Galabras. How tall are the ceilings, by the way? Ceilings are 10 feet tall. That's where I can't levitate. Joe just did a mime version of me bonking my head on the ceiling. Levitate four feet. It's like Charlie and the Ch. Levitate four feet. Ow. It's like, hovering there. It's like Charlie and the Choco Factory when they drink.

I think I'm going to cast Spark. Ooh. On the web. Spark on the web. Okay, so what Talk to me about Spark. That's like a cantrip, isn't it? Yeah, just sets flammable things

A fire Now if any creature Is still caught in the web Any fire can set the webs alight And burn away one five foot square In one round All creatures within flaming webs Take 2d4 points of damage

Fire damage from the flames But it's only one square All it's going to do is Ignite one five foot square So Calabros has to walk up Is it a ranged Or is it Well it's going to keep burning though. Yeah.

So is it ranged or do you have to go out and touch it? This was from whatchamacallit man. The Hope Spring Beacon. Remember? We lit it with spark. So show me on the map which one you want. The first square on the middle block. This one here. Okay so that one is

no longer wet. It ignites you do not see or hear anyone yell out in pain. Okay. But that flame is still lighting. Yeah, it's going to start spreading. Every one round it would spread in every direction, right? It spreads every direction every round, yeah. Round three.

She reappears here. Takes a five-foot step towards, who is this? Lork. Lork. Lork Master Lorkmaster. Lork. And using point-blank master, she fires a full attack action with her bow.

She's going to take a five-foot step and do a full attack action? Yes, the only way you can. No, not if she's stepping into difficult terrain. She can't. Can't take a five-foot step into difficult terrain, unless it's your favorite. No, favorite terrain just gives you an initiative bonus, right? Yeah, favorite terrain is shitty.

Well, it's a bow, so she doesn't even need to take a five-foot step. Right, and actually she can't, really. I think if you look into the rules, she can't fire in melee range to somebody. It's called point-blank master. You can fire your bow. Without provoking. Yeah, without provoking. Oh, okay, so that's what you do.

Okay, so she's doing a rapid shot, three attacks at Lork. First attack, miss. Second attack, miss! Yeah! Third attack, 20. That's a hit. She hits Lork for minimum damage.

Five points of damage. I am bemoaning my idiocy in not doing total defense. You can just do total defense. What is total defense? It allows you, instead of your action, you buff up your defense and you stand there and you get plus four to AC. And that wouldn't have hit.

Yeah. And instead I'm readying an action for an archer to stand right next to me. That's fucking stupid. What was the damage? Five points of damage. I wasn't listening. I was so angry at myself.

Five points of damage. It's a good thing Baron moved out of the way, though, because she definitely has an eye out for you. All right, round three. It is Gormley's turn. How far? She's in range now. Yeah, she is.

Evil eye. Evil eye. Okay, so this is it. Attack rolls. Will save? You know what? No, I'm going to do it for saves. Nice.

Okay. DC 15 will save. DC 15 will save. Fails. Fails her will save. Nice. Okay, so what is it? For six rounds, she's got a minus two to saves.

Oh, misfortune, this motherfucker. That's what I'm going to try. I love you. Minus two to all saves. And you know what? I think I want to get a little cackle on. Oh. But we've got something special prepared. We have something special here.

What is this all about? That is creepy. A very special thank you to Glass Cannon fan Carl Custer for preparing that and sending it in. Way better than I have ever done it. Yeah, apparently your cackle wasn't up to snuff. Matthew, your cackle's fired. It's fired. Otherwise known as Uncle Yo, the geek comedian.

That was great. Okay, so you cackled to extend it to how many rounds? Seven. Seven rounds. If the combat lasts that long, one of you is definitely going to die. Okay, it is now Ben Vereen's turn because he acted before a lork. Get that bitch. All right, I'm going to push him to attack.

Come on, baby. Fail. I just am rolling terrible. How bad did you fail? I rolled a 16. I failed by nine. All right, so you're fine, Lork. You are up.

All right, I'm going to try something here. I'm going to gamble that this woman is Melira. I'm also going to, I'm just going to do something I never do. I'm going to. Roll successfully. A whole. Take that, Lork. Boom!

Boom! Give me back your bottle cap. Not let down your family? Oh my god. Oh my god. You know what? It's probably good that I'm doing this because it'll just result in his death.

It'll just result in his death anyway. Lork is going to hold out the falchion and he's going to say, Do you recognize this blade? It is the blade of a half-orc gone wrong. And if you don't stand down right now and stop this foolish attack, you will never see the light of day again.

And I'm going to demoralize her. All right, roll an intimidate check. Do I get any bonus for having his falchion? What is the DC of to demoralize her. Alright, roll an intimidate check. Do I get any bonus for having his falchion? What is the DC of the demoralize is like 10 plus her HD plus her wisdom modifier. 10 plus her hit dice

plus her wisdom modifier. And you get a plus 2 bonus to your roll for holding out screens. Alright, so let's do it. 26. Yes. 26.

She is shaken. Yeah. Holy fuck. For one round. Minus two. That is a minus two on all rolls. Yeah. Attack roll, skill check.

So add it to the saving throw. Add it to the saving throw. Yep. So now you're debuffing the fuck out of her. And I will take a five-foot step up next to her. So you five-foot step up. You can't. You can't in sludge.

No, I can. I just, it's not like. It's a move action. It's not a move action. Yeah, it's a move action. Stop calling the five-foot step. I'm moving five feet, I should say. I'm sorry.

There are people listening, and they want to know the real rules. Not this. All right, Baron, I should say. There are people listening, and they want to know the real rules. Not this. All right, Baron, you're up. So minus two against all saves. I am 30 feet away, so I cannot resolve against her touch AC, but I'm going to shoot her anyway and just resolve against her regular AC because of my distance. All right, she's getting a plus four to her AC.

Oh, no. Only Ben Vereen is there, right? Only Ben Vereen. Oh, yes. So nothing. Yeah. No cover. Oh, yes.

20. 20. Wow. 24. Yeah. So that hits. Seven points of damage. Oh, wait.

Hold on. Point blank shot within 30 feet. Am I within 30? Yep. Okay. Grant, I. Oh, wait, hold on. Point blank shot within 30 feet. Am I within 30? Yep. Okay. Grant, I love your kind of large dice. They remind me of playing cards old people use. It's like the remote.

And I'm kind of like, those are the dice I'm going to be using when I'm 70 years old. They're like the remote that only has channel and volume on it for like your grandparent. And then rapid reload. Rapid reload. Okay, seven points of damage. Nice. Galabras. How tall are the ceilings? What'd I say? Ten feet tall.

Ten feet is what you said. But twelve. He's two feet down in the sludge. Right. No, the sludge is two feet thick. Right. And I'm in it. So he's... Okay, twelve, okay, at 12 feet. What is this, like a Parting the Red Seas Moses thing in your mind? How tall do you grow with your ENA Chuck? Well, 12 feet.

Okay. A little bit under 12 feet. You're not six feet tall, right? You will be squeezing if you do. No, I won't. Not if I'm standing in the sludge. And he has agile feet. So you're going to go the exact

height of the sail. No, I'm under six feet tall, so I'd have like four inches above my head. Okay. You said it. You said ten feet. Alright, ten feet. In a char. And I'm going to move up with agile feet

and strike her down with all the strength that's in within me. 16. Miss. Wait. He has a bonus from... It's 17. Stop it. Well, did you take your

minus two? No, it's just to rolls. It's not to her AC. It's just to her actual... No, but for the shaking, it's just for rolls. Oh's not to her AC. It's just to her actual. No, but for the shaken, it's just for rolls. Oh, yeah, and he did saving throws with the hex. Because he's lining up a little misfortune. All righty, then. Round four of this two-episode combat.

She attacks, and she is pissed. Minus two to her attacks, minus four to her saves. She is going to attack Galabras. Go for it. You murderous, you will all die. First attack, 26. That's it.

Hits old Jaloo for 12 points of damage. Seven points of damage. Second attack. Is it an evil aligned bow? Misses. Third attack. Also misses. And now it is

Gormley's turn. Let's get a little Misfortune going Since the DC 15 will save Minus 4 to saves Natural 20 Oh man that's not the one Take solace in the wasted natural 20 Oh that's a bum

And then My new dice I'll stay where I am. All right, Benverine. All right, Ben has been... Benjamin! He's been very uncooperative. Nope, still uncooperative.

And Lork is going to... I still just find it amazing that a Wolverine would just stand there. I know, I don't know what to to do I can't make him do it It's up to Troy He won't listen to you You know what motherfucker I grew up four blocks away from a zoo I thought you were going to say wolverine

I have respect for animals I have respect for animals I know how wolverines act wolverine would not fucking do this You should write into Paizo and let them Tell them to change the rules. Yeah, because you're not you have no control at all. So I will say Skid is the foremost animal rights defender in Pathfinder history. That's right.

That's true. He would know. Anyone would know. Yes, you're a useless Wolverine. You should check out his his naked calendar poses for PETA. It's pretty incredible. It's they didn't even ask. The only fur he wears is on his face. Is she

attractive? She's Rachel McAdams. That's up to you. Oh, right. You said Rachel McAdams. Maybe that's not your cup of tea. Can I... Wait. Whose turn was it? It's my turn. If I five foot step up onto the gangway thing, is that... Stepping from difficult

terrain to not difficult terrain? I don't need a five-foot... Well, yeah, I guess I do. Normally, you cannot take attacks of opportunity with a ranged weapon, but is that what Point Blank Master allows you to do?

That's what Point Blank Master allows you. No, Point Blank Master, you don't provoke AoE. Right. And you can shoot your bow in melee range. Is there a feat that allows you

to take attacks of opportunity with a ranged weapon? I think there is one. Yeah, there is. I forget what it's called. You know what? I'm going to run the risk, and I'm going to get up on the gangway so I'm not in this muck, and I'm blocking her attempted attack at anyone on that gangway behind me. And I will swing Screed's Falchion at her.

The first critical threat. Oh! Critical. Threaty 19. This is so meaningful. This is the first successful melee hit on her. Oh, okay. All right, I will roll to confirm.

I haven't crit yet with it. 17. Get out of here. Get out of here with that trash. Fuck. Dammit. All right, roll your damage. Rolling Dimash. That's a 19 AC for listeners at home

We figured it out 13 points of damage Now roll a will save Oh my god Oh Joe Brian My god 14 Everything seems to be okay

I think he's just making it As it seems Uh, 14. Everything seems to be okay. I think he's just making it up a little bit. As it seems. Uh, Baron. Jesus. No Baron. Easy on the bees. It's not his turn yet. So, I would have to get it at a diagonal to her to shoot her at this point, correct?

Yeah, man, i was trying to protect you um but it sounds like we do need some ranged action on her because she is gonna hurt us with her whatever is happening anybody with a melee attack is gonna have something bad happen to him i am um I'm going to jump into the sludge. So how many feet is that? That's just five. And then I'm going, I can only move 20, so I guess I can only move one more.

Right. Because I'd be 10, 15, and then you'd need. No, yeah, you move two more. How far away am I from her now? Oh, no, yeah, only one more, so back him up one. How far away am I from her now? Oh no yeah Only one more So back him up one How far away am I now? 25 30 feet

From her? 25 feet Okay Yep 25 Um Charlie just Knocked over Luke's Character

And then threw him off the table And Joe You know why? Cause he's mad that I'm gonna Kill this Human woman Joe flipped him off the table. You know why? Because he's mad that I'm going to kill this human woman. Joe flipped him off. Who is it, Melira? I don't know who it is.

I'm going to shoot her. Okay. Minus four. And plus four. Shooting through an ally square. Yeah, plus four to her AC, minus four to the shoot. So wait, to the gun. Oh. It's an eight-point differential. differential But you roll like 30 so it should be fine

You've been rolling rocks bro Two fucking critical hits There's also no reason not to take the shot Just take it That is a 17 against regular AC That is a miss You missed the miss.

Boom. Galabras. 17 AC is brutal. I'm going to take another swing with the Hammer of Osgroth. Ah! Oh, 23. 23 hits. Oh, nice. Love that hammer.

Seven points of damage. Roll a will save. That's right. This guy's got hella will. Oh! What did I tell you? 25. It appears as if everything's just fine. Just peachy.

Round five. A good old fashioned five round combat. Okay. She is going to jump into the muck here. Attack of opportunities. Nope. Nope.

Nope. And she's going to do a full attack action. No, no, no. Well, you know, look, I'm fine with not doing attack of opportunities, but that's difficult terrain. You can't move into a square that's difficult. You can't five-foot step into a square that's difficult terrain. You can five-foot step out of it?

You can't do either. Like, you can't five-foot step into or out of a square that's difficult terrain. Right. So, like, you know, if you want to say she just jumps in quick and he out of a square that's difficult terrain. Right. So, like, you know, if you want to say she just jumps in quick and doesn't provoke, that's fine. But giving her a full attack action in that water is nuts. It's a little. That's fair. OK, well, she's going to shoot at Baron who just fired a gun at her from there.

All right. So plus 40 or AC plus her from there. All right. So plus four to your AC. Plus four to your AC. Full attack. Ack. Oh, and also, you're well aware that she does not have to do all attacks at one target. It's your choice. Oh, yeah, yeah. And you know you can decide between attacks, right?

Yep. I'm saying the first attack is at Baron. 24 to hit. Fuck you. Was that even with the plus four? Just checking. He's talking shit! He's talking shit now!

You know what? No, you're gonna drop into the water? 11 points of damage. 11 points of damage. Fuck you. I mean, I tried. Next attack at Baron. Miss. Miss. Third attack at Baron. Miss. Third attack at Baron.

The murderer. 20. Fail. You're in. Misses. There you go. It is Gormley's turn. Gormley's going to begin casting.

Aha! Gormley begins going to begin casting Aha Gormley begins Casting Okay, Benverine Now he gets old I just, you know I apologize for Benverine I just need one good roll Oh, I got it!

I got it! 27, he's getting to the fight He sees Lork attacking this woman, Lork begging him to come andie 27 he's getting to the fight like he sees uh lork attacking this woman lork begging him to come and fight and uh and he's going to he's going to come and fight uh he's going to attack it so he i don't think he can at the moment with uh lork you know position where he is but lork can feel him coming up behind him so uh lork will take care of that ASAP. Okay. So Lork is going to jump off the gangway into the muck on the other side of Galabras.

Okay. So now the question is, like, you know, if she can do an attack of opportunity with a ranged weapon, she can totally do it. If you normally cannot do so, I didn't know that you couldn't, then no, she can totally do it uh but if you normally cannot do so i didn't know that you couldn't uh then no she can't yeah yeah remember when i took an attack of opportunity with my pistol whip instead of with my right i used a melee uh i mean yeah she she's not wielding her melee weapon um i will now my question is do i have a flanking bonus with Galabras? We're on either side of her. Yes, you do. Okay, great. So I'm going to roll to hit. And by the way, I'm doing all these power attack, unless I say otherwise,

until there's someone with Ridiculous AC. So that's 24 to hit. You sure? Positive. That's a hit. And does 14 points of damage. Oh, nice. Fucking great. Roll a will save. There we go. How did I forget

that already? I already completely forgot that. 19. I am so lucky. Lork is not a man of strong will. He's not very willful. Alright, Baron. And these rounds are flying. Moving like hotcakes.

What subtractions do I take now from where I'm standing? None. Well, you take the minus four. Minus four for melee. Because she's surrounded by Galabras and Lork in melee. Benvarine is too small to provide cover for her, so you just take the minus four for shooting into melee. Okay.

Fifteen to hit. Miss. I found it. It's called Snapshot. Yeah, Snapshot. Snapshot allows you to take a text of opportunity with a ranged weapon within five feet of you. Good find.

Baron's bullet sails past her, punctures the boat, and it starts leaking. It's punctured the hull, punctured the hull. The room is filling up with water. And I'm going to, I'm going to get back. I like that. I'm going to get back on the wooden plank. Okay, so you shot, you climb back up onto the plank. All right, Galabras.

I'm going to swing again with the hammer of puskrum. Add plus two for flanking. Don't say the number until it has plus two. That's a miss. All righty. You forgot to add plus two. That's a miss. Alrighty. You forgot to add plus two, I think. Round six.

This is your last round of the armor, isn't it? These are moving quick. This is, yeah. Last round of the armor of Oskroth. She She's in a dicey situation right now. She is in a dicey situation. There's also, by the way, a rabid wolverine running at her.

Right, I see the wolverine that you mentioned. Now, uh, she wants to take a five-foot step towards the wolverine. And, uh, if she goes to use a wand, that provokes, right? Yes. Yeah, because she has to draw the wand. Okay, so she draws the wand and provokes from, well, then she wouldn't. No, from everybody. Yeah, so she wouldn't do that.

So she'll just stay where she is and draws the wand to touch herself. Again, provokes from Galabras and Lork. Ooh. Bad. Miss. Big mistake. Big. Provokes from Galabras and Lork. Ooh. Bad. Big mistake. Big mistake. Miss from Gal. Um. Uh. 17. Miss from Lork. Shit. Disappears

again. Shit. Damn it. Oh, these kind of opponents are so frustrating. I know. That really is a terrible thing to happen right now. Gormley, you're up. Also, you should remind, the entire center of the cabin is now ablaze.

Oh, yeah. The webs are all burning. That five feet is just flames. There's flames everywhere. Oh, yeah, we actually have to put that out before the boat burns down. I can dispel. Oh, shit.

Is dispelling the web an action, or is that a free action to dispel? It is a standard action, I'm pretty sure. At this point, I think you cast spark in round two, or it might have been round three, but 20 to 30 feet of the web is completely on fire. Shit, man. If you dispel the web, the fire will just fall into the sludge. If what you're doing is what I think you're doing,

I think you could still potentially trap her. I think she's already moved. Do summon creatures that have to appear before? Yeah, all right. You can hold your action. I'll tell you what you can think reasonably. She vanished right there. There's fire all behind her.

So she had to move forward. She didn't have to, but, like, well, you know, she could have moved into the muck on either side, too. So there's a lot of options. I know that she's been bitching about Baron, that she wants to kill him specifically. But would we get perception checks to see? Oh, yeah. Like, what if she splashed in the water? I think we would get a perception on that, wouldn't we?

It's Gormley's turn, so Gormley can roll a perception check. Ooh, I'm still not going to get it, but 23. 23, yeah. But I'm looking specifically for splashes in the water. I'm not looking to see her. Right. So the invisibility here doesn't even matter. You get the sense that it is...

He's not looking for an invisible person. He's looking for a giant rock splashing in water immediately in your range. You're looking for that. You get the...

You feel... You see the movement of water on this side of the boat. On the... That side. All right. If you're entering

the room to the left side. Yeah, port side. Is this the front of the boat here? No, the front of the boat is the other side. Then it's the starboard side. Starboard side. Starboard side. Starboard're entering the room to the left side. Is this the front of the boat here? No, the front of the boat's the other side. Then it's the starboard side. Starboard side. Starboard side of the villages.

All right. I'm sailing. I'm sailing. Keep sailing, Bob. What about Bob? What about Bob? Are you done? Yeah, I'm done.

All right. A celestial giant fire beetle appears right next to Baron. We'll see those every day. Yes. Her name is Gladys. Oh. Gladys, the celestial fire beetle. I'm glad she's here.

That's nice. Is that in the water or on the deck? In the water. She's immediately extinguished. And she dies. She's not on fire. That seems strange. She's taller than twoished. And she dies. She's not on fire. It seems strange. She's taller than two feet?

Her head is taller than two feet? She's giant. Okay. Giant fire beetle. Fair enough. Now, can she ready an action? Yeah, absolutely. So she's going to ready an action.

And the action is? Is if she detects Melira or whoever come within melee range, she's going to attack. Does she have scent? Hold, please. Is scent a vermin trait? No. They're not going to have scent. It's like a mammal thing. She has dark vision, other than that.

Yeah, so she won't even know. She would get a perception if the water moved. If there was a footstep in the water in front of her. Okay, roll a perception for that. I don't think she has a perception. 17. Yeah, no.

So basically, if Malira appears right next to her, he gets the attack. Yeah. And then Gormley's going to go. And now it's Gormley's turn. Yep. Gormley is going to spend the action to dispel the web. Okay.

So the web dispels and the fire. Well, should I do that or should I leave it as a barrier as long as she's invisible? Sounds like you already did it to me. Sounds like it's done. You dispel the web, and the web disappears, but these squares, basically 15 feet into the room, begin catching fire. Oh, shoot. The fire from Glamrs' spark.

The one soaked in sludge. Incredibly flammable water. I'll give you this one. I like it. I like it. Ship should start burning. It's a ship. A little flavor.

Sure. A little flavor that'll kill everyone on the boat. It moves five feet per round. And just for good measure, Gromwa's going to cackle. Cackle. Okay, so that will now last around 11. The minus 2 to save. Well, we know she's within 30 feet of Grom. I'm like, ah!

I didn't know that was the... I didn't know. Ben Vereen, go ahead and miss that so we can move on to Lorcan. Alright, now Ben Vereen is on the hunt now, fully which means if she's in 30 feet he knows exactly what direction she's in. Tell me right now what direction she's in.

Do you have to roll for it, or does he just know? No, he knows. With a survival check, he can track right to her. Right. He knows that she is behind him. She's behind him. Okay, so he'll roll a DC 10 survival check. He's got a plus one to that, and he fails.

But he knows that she's behind her, which means he's going to move along the gangway. If you tell me she's within five feet. Towards the opposite room. Wait. Yeah, towards Baron. Right. So he's going to start moving. If she's there, or if she's within five feet, he knows. He knows. So she's not within five feet. He moves five feet forward and realizes that she is right there. Between him and Baron?

Yep. Then he attacks. And gets flanking. If everything you've said is true, then yes. And gets full round because it's five foot step. Fuck yes. Okay, so here we go. Everything's coming up Milhouse.

I think everything has concealment, so I'll roll a D100 on all of his attacks. Right. So it's 50% miss chance. 50% miss chance. Miss. First attack. Second attack. Miss.

And then those are two claws. And then a bite. 18 and an 83 on the die. Also a miss. But all is not... Oh, no, no! Shit. Yeah, I forgot flanking. Flanking plus two. But all is not

completely wasted as you see Benverine. All of you see Benverine rabidly biting at that one spot. Does the fire beetle attack? Pretty awesome. No, because the fire beetle does not see Malira. The fire beetle attack? Pretty awesome. No, because the fire beetle does not see Malira. The fire beetle only sees a wolverine attacking. The held action was if Malira appears, fire beetle.

But Baron, I think, would be intelligent enough as a creature to know some shit is going down. Sure. It is now Lork's turn. Okay, Lork, seeing the behavior of his companion, is going to move up and attack that square. Do you have enough space to get there through the sludge? No, I don't. Okay. Quick.

So he's going to move up there, right next to her. Well, you could attack from there. Can you move all the way to there? That's a double move. Oh, that's a double move. Okay, so Lork. I'm just playing by the rules for a second. Oh, I appreciate it.

So Lork just kind of sludges up, gets there. So now if she is there, as far as you know, she is surrounded by Baron. Baron and Benverine are flanking her. There's a celestial beetle. Lork is to the starboard side. Gormley's to the port side. And there's a fire beetle on the starboard side.

And now it's Baron's turn. You see Baron. You see Lork step up. You see the Benvary. Oh, yeah, Lork will totally be like, she must be there. So I say into the invisibility in front of me, I've made reservations for you and your lover in hell. Nice.

Happy Valentine's Day. Can he shoot just right in front of him? He can. It's just a 50% mischance because you have pinpointed a square. Yeah, you have pinpointed the square. So in this case, it's still a 50% mischance. So just roll a D100 with your attack.

But now also since you, now can you tell me if this is a gunslinger special thing? What? Don't you provoke an attack of opportunity if you're in melee range with somebody and you're shooting at them? Yeah. If you don't have point blank master? Yeah. You would just have to take a five foot step back, but that's not like a gunslinger thing, right? That you get to do that for free.

Do what for free? Shoot in melee within five feet. Well, she's invisible, so it changes everything so who knows no you would unless you have point blank master you have to take a five foot all right i'll take a five foot step back and um i'm gonna get up close and deadly okay yeah you are nice that is a 19 against touch ac now roll the uh conceal. 50%. 51 or higher. Fuck! Shit. 40.

So close. Hits Benverine. Flies past the flaming walkway. It was tough. It was tough. It's amazing that you guys were able to even get these attacks off to an invisible creature. Yeah, thanks Benverine. Can we just say it? Yeah, this is all Benverine.

So awesome. Animal Companion. Baron fires nothing. Galabras. Galabras, the final round of his armor of Escaroth is going to step up, agile feet, and swing at Ernest. And then eat. Shrink back down to normal cleric size.

Round seven. Old Butterfingers, get them on her. She appears. Not just that one, it does involuntarily. She appears straight in the middle. And immediately. Provokes from the beetle, the fire beetle. Oh, I thought you were going to say she immediately surrenders.

She's surrounded on all sides. The fire beetle, by the way, is going to smite evil. Oh, I thought you were going to say she immediately surrenders. She's surrounded on all sides. The fire beetle, by the way, is going to smite evil. Oh, wait, you know what? I'm sorry. She would never. Why would she appear in the middle of you guys? That's absolutely ridiculous.

She appears on the other side of Gormley and full attacks Gormley. How'd she walk over there? No, no, no. She can't full attack. Oh, because she was there. All right, so she appears on the other side of Gormley and attacks. But she would have to do an acrobatics. No, it's fine. No, no, no. She can't attack. Oh, because she was there. Alright, so she appears on the other side of Gormley and attacks. But she would have to do an acrobatics. No, it's fine. As long as she's invisible. Oh my god.

She appears, other side of Gormley, attacks, hits. I mean, 26 or something. With the sword or with the bow? With the bow. And only does three points of damage. Excuse me, seven points of damage.

That seems mathematically impossible. Seven points of damage. She just hits Gormley, and it is Gormley's turn. Hex her AC. Hex her AC. And take the next hit? Just step away. I can't five foot step.

I'm in the sludge. You can. You can. Oh, yeah. Well, no. She doesn't. No, she can't do attacks of opportunity. She's a bow.

Oh, all right. But you can't take a five foot step anywhere from where it is. You can move. I can take a move action. You can move. Sure, sure. So move away and hex her AC. Her AC is killing us.

It's so high. All right. I'm going to. I'll step back onto the wood and hex her AC. Her AC is killing us. It's so high. I'll step back onto the wood and hex AC. Okay, and that is a will save and she still has a minus two to saves.

19? Saves, but for one round. One round her AC is minus two? Yeah, and now the fire beetle goes. Okay. What's its movement? 30 feet. It can get right up on her.

It can get right up in her face. So it can kind of replace where you just were. Can it get as far as being on her side? No, that's its max movement. She's going to smite evil. Ah, okay. So if she's evil aligned, you get a bonus to damage and a deflection bonus to AC, right? I believe so.

Hang on. I closed the page. It's not to hit. Nice, I think. Nope. 13. No. No.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Wait, wait, Troy. It's minus two to her AC. I think I forgot that. Still no. Ben Vereen, the hero of the combat. All right. Ben Vereen is going to, uh, just, uh, move to attack her.

So I don't know how that's going to work. You want me to roll a swim check? What do you want me to do? No, I mean, you just got to push him, right? No, he's attacking her now. That's what I'm saying. Like, I don't want him to go in the water, but now he's going to attack her. So like, uh, it's, it's, it's fine. It's just don't want him to go in the water, but now he's going to attack her. So, like.

No, it's fine. It's just difficult terrain. Okay. Difficult terrain. And he's got movement to get there. So he'll get there and he'll attack once with a bite. Okay. 15 to hit.

Yeah. But he's up there. He's in the sludge. And then it's Lork's turn, and Lork is going to do another double move. Okay. So Lork's just playing chase. Yeah, he's out of position now because she appeared behind Gormley that was on the other side of the ship width wise and so he's moving around to that side alright Baron

she is now visible I mean very blocked by everyone for the purposes of your gunslinging but she's there she's out there she's visible she's got it out she's got a vendetta against you for some reason I am

some reason going to use my final grip point to get up close and deadly. Oh, shit. There we go. And I'm going to say, he squealed like a pig when I shot him. Oh, my God. Was that demoralized? Are you neutral evil? That is a 17 against Touch AC.

Minus four for shooting in the melee? That is a hit. Beautiful. Come on. Put her down. Put her out of her misery. That is nine points of damage. All right.

Rapid reload. Okay. Points of damage. All right. Rapid reload. Okay, it is Galabras's turn. He goes, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump. I've shrunk down, but I'm still going to swing at her again with the Hammer of Escaroth, even with my normal size. Would channel positive hurt her? No. No.

Oh, right. Usually it's just undead creatures. 23. Damn, 23? Galabras just undead creatures. 23. Damn. 23? Galabras is the martial expert. Hits. Yeah.

Four damage. Four damage. Roll a will save. Hell of a will, baby. 24. Wow. Nothing bad happening. There.

It is her turn. All right, so she is surrounded by Benvarine, Galabras, and a Fire Beetle. She is going to do a full attack on Benvarine. Oh, shit. What did you do to the Fire Beetle? Nope. Oh, you're so inconsiderate. First attack, fumbles.

Yes! Yes, yes, yes. That is karma. Yes, yes. That's the danger of shooting three attacks every round, actually. Statistically, much higher chance of fumbling. Yeah, I mean, honestly, she should be confirming her fumbles. Totally, totally.

But we'll minus one on attack rolls for 1d4 days until you crit. We've had that one before. Oh, yeah. I don't know if we had it here or in another game. It was another game. So she's got a minus one to all her attack rolls. Insecure, it's called. For three days.

I don't think she's going to live to see day two, buddy. Well, be sure to watch the sequel. Melira gets her groove back. Next attack hits Benverine for 12 points of damage. Final attack. That was a funny joke. Hits Ben Vereen. No, excuse me.

The final attack misses Ben Vereen. AC 11? Miss. Miss. And she just kind of takes a five-foot step back, and it is now she realized she's up. Does she provoke from the fire view? No.

She can't take a five-foot step. Oh, she can't. She can't take a five foot. Oh, yeah. Oh, you can't. So she just says that she put her back. She knows she's done in. So it is Gormley's turn. Don't forget that you have her AC hexed. If you can cackle to extend that.

I will cackle hard enough to immediately hit her already. I was going to hex her again if I didn't. But all right. So I'll cackle to extend. And then I am going to. Thank you. That was a good cackle, man. That's a solid cackle.

You did a good job with that. I finally figured out how to incorporate it. I'm going to ear-piercing scream her. Oh, okay. You get a DC 15 fortitude save. Okay. To have the damage. Minus two on all saves, correct? And she a DC 15 fortitude save. Okay. To have the damage. She's still minus two on all saves, correct?

And she's minus two on all saves. Minus two on all saves, she makes it. Okay. She made the save? Yeah. Okay, so you take three points of damage. She looks as if she's about ready to fall. Oh.

She's in over her head. And it is Benverine's turn Benverine is going to full attack action Why not Okay, first attack Miss, second attack Miss, third attack, miss I just can't get a hold of him Lork

And Lork is going to step up And he will not do a power attack. He will do a regular attack in attempts to finally put her down and stop her from attacking his friends and miss. God damn it. God damn it. I didn't have one roll over six out of four D20s in a row. All right, Baron, you've seen her.

She had it out for you since the beginning, since she appeared. You see her just kind of wavering like the end of a Mortal Kombat fight. What do you do? I kind of want to capture her. Well, you can put her down and then... Alright, so I'm going to...

Unless you kill her, but lower her con. I'm going to say to her... I'm going to say to her kill a bro or a con. I'm going to say to her... Like you did Screed. I'm going to say to her, dinner's served, bitch. Is she the dinner? Or are we the dinner? Lead salad.

That's a miss, I think. Hold on, wait. That's a miss. When in doubt. Oh, wait, unless it's an eight against Touch AC. No. Stop it. Stop it, Baron.

You're embarrassing yourself. Baron, you've been drinking? Galabras. You're up. He says, time for dessert. You harlequin. Dinner wasn't very filling. 16.

16. Misses. With a minus two against AC? Her AC's down. Her AC is very high. 16 misses. With a minus two against AC. Her AC's down. Her AC is very high. All right, so Baron misses. Galabras misses. It's her turn.

She realizes she's dead. She just wants to kill you guys. She has fire in her eyes. She's not thinking straight. She's basically surrounded by four people, two animals, and she is just, you see it in her face, she just wants to kill you. If she can kill one of you right now,

she feels as if she has. Troy would be very happy. Troy would be very happy. No, this is what her motivation is. The listeners will be thrilled. Well, who's standing directly next to her? Lorcas. There's a beetle right in front of her.

Point blank master. That beetle is asking for it. Deadly aim. Owl. Pat. Lorca. Attack one. Fumble.

Again! She is so overwhelmed by this. She knows that this is probably the last attack she'll make, perhaps in her life. Oh, man! Her weapon is basically broken. Oh, man! Bad alignment.

You take a minus four penalty on all attacks with this weapon until repaired. Oh, jeez. Wow. It snapped. It's the line cable. I cast mending on her repaired. Oh, jeez. Yeah, it snapped. It's the line cable. I cast Mending on her bow. Aw, thanks, Baron. He is trying to kill Lork. Now she's just going straight off the die here.

19 to hit. That hits. 19 hits Lork for 10 points of damage. Last attack. So sad. 16. No, it's a miss.

16 is a miss. 16 is a miss. Gormley. Beetle. Beetle. I'm so glad, by the way, Lork started wearing armor under the boat. That was real rough. Well, just when you're sneaking down under the boat, you're fine.

It's best to be safe. I am assuming a 14 misses. It does. With the Beetle. It does. All right. Gormley's going to Ear Pier. I am assuming a 14 misses. It does. With the beetle. It does. Alright, Gormley's getting an ear-piercing screamer one more time. Okay. You have a fortitude save. Woman to woman. Made the fortitude save.

Yeah, same thing I rolled last time. You take four points of damage. Four points of damage. And she falls. To the ground. Just... Four points of damage. Four points of damage, and she falls to the ground. Blood starts coming out of her ears. She started off the combat very confident, and just losing her animal companion there really put her in a tough position. And Webb, too.

It really controlled the space with which she could work. And she really she was willing to kill herself if it meant killing one of you but she did not succeed yeah i had a feeling there like i yeah i think lork had a feeling there that there was no like you know baron was saying like grappling or anything like that because like i don't know i want i don't want lork to be like a like a paladin necessarily but like he definitely felt a little bad for it because he's like hey here's a girl that like actually went for a half work. You know what I mean?

Which is like saying something, but like, and he knew, and he knew she was just defending her guy or whatever, but he's also like, this is like, this is like, no,

no. And I get that, but it's like, I get it. She tried to kill my mom, but she's hot. So we should, we should, uh, I do think, um, as much as I was taunting her throughout that,

which was kind of bluster of the battle, a rush of blood to the head, the greatest Coldplay album ever. Jesus. I'd like to hogtie her and maybe stabilize her, see if we can talk to her a little bit. And I'd also like to check her body as that hogtie is and maybe stabilize her, see if we can talk to her a little bit. And I'd also like to check her body as that hogtie is happening for any notes or anything else. Lockets, for example.

Okay, so you hogtie her. Does somebody stabilize her? After she's hogtied, maybe. I don't see why. Well, I mean, I do. I do. I mean, you can let her bleed out, too. I'll stabilize her, and then I'll run back and put out this fire.

Oh, yeah. Okay. With make water? Yeah, Lorik is definitely concerned about putting out the fire. Just kind of kicking the sludge water. It's spread like 25 feet at this point. Grumman's like, oh. Throwing bilge water over the, yeah.

Okay, so Galabras stabilizes her, runs back, and now she's still in the negative. She's just not bleeding out. So she's unconscious. You hog tie her. You search her. You find a wand. Two wands. One of which makes things visible.

You find two wands and a tangle foot bag. Nice. And then all of her gear. She's wearing a mithril chain shirt. Whoa. I would love that shit. She has a...

Is that medium armor or heavy armor? That's medium. Oh, shit, I would love that. She has her longbow, obviously, and Gormley and Galabras. You detect magic on that longbow.

Which you have to fix now. Yeah, which is broken. Now I'll just be carrying Screed's Falchion and Melira's longbow. It's so romantic. She has a short sword. She has, you know, like rations and thieves tools and a water skin. 104 gold pieces. Nice.

And she has a tiny little locket of a heart around her neck. With blonde half-orc hair inside? To open it up? Yes. Yes. It is indeed a drawn picture of Screed. Oh. This fucking bitch.

And so their love story comes to a close. Well. Without murder. It was pretty dead when we killed Screed. Can she stay unconscious, hogtied, and not die while we search the room? You'd have to put her on the gangway so she doesn't drown to death. Can I spellcraft the wands and the longbow first? Sure. Just do the wands as one and then.

19 on the wands? The wands. One is a wand of cat's grace. Holy shit! With seven charges. And the other is a wand of invisibility with three charges. I was going to say, there's not going to be a lot of charges on that invisibility wand. Okay. And this is what she looks like, by the way.

I'll put that up on the old Tumblr. She's a hard woman She's been through it Rachel McAdams, right? Why do they insist on giving her thigh-high, sexy, kinky boots? Come on, man That's how she rolls It's very practical, Grant

Well, for wading in Bilgewater, actually They probably are practical Those stiletto heels on the end are not You want skin-tight stuff when you're wading in Bilgewater, actually, they probably are practical. Those stiletto heels on the end are not. You want skin-tight stuff when you're wading in Bilgewater. Should I spellcraft the, you said spellcraft the longbow separately? Yeah, can you please? I wouldn't even know it's magical yet. Lork wouldn't.

Natural 20. Whoa. It is a plus one longbow. Yeah! It doesn't have the strength rating, though. Oh, shit. No strength rating. Damn it.

Oh, see? Well, it's still, it's magic. It's a magical longbow. Yeah. Okay, cool. Thank you. Easier to hit, a little less damage. Yeah, so you guys want to go, you want to search this room and search that last room?

Yeah, I want to go into the back. Well, Lork is actually very on guard because he saw two tracks going back and forth. Good point. And so I don't know if somebody's holding back or was fearful or what, but he wants to check the kind of stealth into that back room.

Oh, and I'm going to channel for everybody. Hit me with it. Eleven. What? Yeah, nice. Collaborate. it. Eleven. What? Yeah. Nice, Galabras. Now does she get that? No, I can exclude her. Yes. Okay. All right, roll your

stealth there, Lucky. All right, rolling stealth. Seven. A solid sev. The old sev. The door is already open, as I mentioned before. It's sort of rotting on its hinges. And it's a small compartment, smaller than the room that you came down into.

But similarly, there is a lowered portion, and you walk into the lowered portion, and then there's small steps up that lead to a cramped compartment. And you can tell immediately this is the pump room. Ah, this is where they get all the brackish water out. So it is a, you know, a part of the ship and you can see,

uh, remnants that someone was stowed away in here. Wow. Okay. Just biding their time. Uh, is there any point in a perception check to see if she left any other magical weapons or potions in this room? Yeah, you can roll perception.

Notes. Yeah, or like love letters. Just anything, yeah. 25. It's completely empty. You can tell that she was just using this to... It's like it has a bedroll. Right, you see like...

And like a reading light. You rolled a 25, you said? 25. You see the makings of traps, like little leftover strings. The engineering stuff. The engineering, like stuff she was using to set up the room so that she would have a warning of you guys coming. So you realize now, going back, when you set off that trap and went, bam, if you had then walked in, she would have already been in the room. And she would have straight up killed you.

Triple attack. Yeah, triple attack with the snake on you. I mean, could have been very brutal. Well, here's a question for you. Seeing as we both called that there was a stowaway around here doing all this stuff and that Skid called it was Melira,

how are you not impressed with that in any way, shape, or form? Come on. How are there not bottle caps piled on this table right now is my question i actually had this saved from uh one of the first times you got on the boat when galabras said i think there might be what if there's a stowaway on here and then like before you even walked in thought it was malira and that's why this right here is for skid all right there you go i dropped it it's not anymore yep once it hits the floor

five second roll five second that was a new rule i got it another new troy roll yeah thanks so i All right. There you go, buddy. Oh, I dropped it. Don't put it anymore. Once it hits the floor. Five-second rule. Five-second rule. That was the new rule. I got it. Another new Troy rule. Thanks. So I guess. Very perceptive. Yeah, nicely done.

All right. Are you coming back from there now and letting us know what's in there? Yeah, yeah. I'll let them know that she was sleeping in there, making traps in there. I'm shocked you knew it was Melira. That's insane. I would never have thought of Melira. I just thought it was a stowaway. I thought we'd see we'd see her later than yeah i figured we'd meet her again but um i figured we'd be able

to talk to her girl me is gonna while she's still unconscious is gonna like is gonna uh you're unconscious well well i'm sorry while malira is still unconscious girl me is gonna take her hope knife and cut off a little block of hair okay weirdo. I say to the guys, we got to take her to Rag at some point and let them know what's been going on and we got to put her in the zone of truth. Yeah. We got to

do that. We got to figure out everything we can. Everything she'll tell us. And she's got to tell us the truth. I don't know that I trust Rag at this point. Well, we can do it down here. No, I do trust Rag now because now, I mean, we know that it wasn't anyone in his crew that was trying to kill us. Beyond the evidence of the traps, was there any evidence of her, like, was there, like, food scraps and stuff, like, ration scraps? She had rations on her person. So she was living down there.

She was living down there, yeah. There's no evidence in any way that anybody on the ship was helping her in any way no i mean you saw two sets of tracks but you don't see anyone else down there okay but there's no like food from the galley or no no none whatsoever just rations on her those two sets of tracks were distinguishable by joe's survival role to be two different persons sets of tracks or just one set of tracks going in and out? It looked as if it was two different people. Now you would think maybe that like

Rag sends people down here once a week or once a whatever the schedule is to pump some of the water out. Did the other tracks go into this room or did they just walk along the pathway without going into the room? No, they're coming in.

You also know she can turn invisible at will wait is there also a stair from the pump room up to the deck no no no there's stairs leading up into the pump room it's like a recessed got like a sunk another sunken floor so doesn't it stand to reason that there is like almost the only way that someone could have come to the pump room to pump out the bilge water the brackish water would be if she had used her wand of invisibility without knowing she was there right right yeah i mean i don't think she could have hidden so she had to be invisible otherwise she has an accomplice that's what that's what i'm saying right that makes sense that's a that's a very fair assessment yeah son of a bitch like i think that she was probably invisible because like everybody has been so

trustworthy on the boat. Like of everyone, they're all like, nobody would turn against us. They're so, they've got their own little dramas, but they're not. Yeah.

I, I think we question her. Yeah. If we put, if we put her in the zone of truth and ask her if she had an accomplice on the boat, then that could leave. Yeah.

Maybe doing that before we see rag. Can you do that? Do you have that prepared and can do it tonight, or do you have to wait till tomorrow? I'd have to wait till tomorrow. Okay. But I mean, it's not like she's going anywhere. Yeah, but she wouldn't be invisible.

If somebody came down to pump the water in the... Well, at least now we know that this wasn't a room, or at least we can kind of assume, that Rag would get incredibly pissed at us for going into, right? I always assumed this was going into.

Oh, wait, no. No, I actually, I never changed my prepared spells, so I have Summon Monster 2 and Zone of Truth, so yeah, so I can do it now. Oh, great. All right, so you can wake her up and zone the hell out of her. All great all right so you can wake her awesome zoned the hell out of her uh all right so how do we wake her up we can use charges on the wand or channels

skid your thoughts i'm gonna i guess i'll use the channel i guess it's my last one of the day we all need healing so yeah we all need healing anyway. Desna, let your love flow through me into these people all over their faces. Five. Five points. Did she come up, Troy, with five points of healing? She did come up to consciousness. Okay, so she's hogtied, bound on this gangplank in the middle between the bilge water.

Galabras, do you want to do the questioning? Yeah, I'm going to cast a spell. Desna, by your grace, let me spoken to your servant's presence. Okay. You rudely interrupt his prayer, and then what?

Let me use some creepy magic Before your prayer finishes Hexes her with evil eye Okay, so you're going to hex her saves So I roll I just roll once So minus two to a will save It's automatic or?

Oh wait, you can't do that again, right? I can hex it But you can't use the same hex that again, right? I can hex it. But you can't use the same hex on the same person? You can't? Yeah. She saved. So for one round, we have six seconds for Galabras to... So the entire time Galabras is questioning her,

Gormley is just laughing maniacally. Okay, so it's the same thing you did with Toph. And once again, so Zone of Truth uh they can't speak any deliberate or intentional lies right um and affected creatures are aware of this enchantment therefore they may avoid answering questions to which they would normally respond with a lie or they may be evasive as long as they remain within the boundaries of the truth i believe it it's three minutes. It's great. It's like the spell is literally like, you know, what it's supposed to be in our legal system with somebody on the stand.

You know, it's like you're not allowed to lie, but you also don't have to say the truth if it's incriminating. You can just not talk. I remind you that you are under oath. One, two, three, four. I will set the clock at three minutes. We have three minutes, go.

Five, four, three, two, one. How did you get on board this ship? I got on when you were first docked. I've been following you ever since. Did you have any help from anyone among the crew? What's it to you? Answer the question. I did everything

myself. You had no accomplice on this ship? Everything I did was because of powers that I have. Things that I did myself. Did you coerce anyone on this ship into doing your bidding?

Anything anyone else did was of their own free will, as far as they're concerned. What did they do to help you? They did whatever they chose to do. Who was it? A name. Give us a name. Now.

No. Was it the captain? No. Sense motive. 15. She said no. She appears to be telling us. Oh, she said no. She appears to be telling us. Oh, she said no.

She said no, it wasn't the captain. Was it Halrax? No. Gosh, not good. Was it Goshnok? Yes. Oh! It's always the cook. Yes It's always the cook Fucking I never trusted that piece of shit

Thank you Are you in coercion with the twisted nails? Are you in cooperation with the twisted nails? Collusion Collusion is the word you're looking for No Are you acting alone? Right now I am.

Who do you normally work for? I work for myself. I was out to avenge the death of my lover, and I failed. Just kill me and get it over with. Do you have any other masters? I have no master but my own. Do you know the location of Grensel Deck? Oh.

Okay. Well, that answers that. Oh, oh, the giant that Screed was working for. He told me nothing of her plans. Okay. Where are you from? From Last War. Okay.

How did you meet Screed? He was in town and we just hit it off. He took me out to the movies. He was very sweet, and you killed him! Will you try to kill us if you're released again? I don't know. You supported Screed with his mission to rape and murder innocent women and children for his own personal gain. That's three minutes.

So it washes away. What does she say? If you're not going to kill me, I'll do whatever you want. Just leave me alone. You've taken everything from me. I tried to die in that fight. I just hoped I could take one of you with me. And I failed.

We've all failed. Whatever you want, it's yours. I think we're under maritime law right now, and you might have to meet the captain of the ship, whose crew you have put at danger along with the rest of us. Now, you deserve fair treatment and fair trial, something you nor Screed gave any of those people that died on the raid on True Now. But we're going to show you that we're better

than you two ever were. Fine. Whatever you need. And so do you take her up to Rag? So she's like utterly defeated. Utterly defeated. She had a death wish. She just was hoping she could take one of you with her

because she doesn't want to live without him. Yeah. You know what? I mean, i don't think we can keep her uh alive and if she is alive but yeah i don't think we can keep her alive i don't suspect the captain's gonna want to keep her alive yeah i mean i do think we need to bring it to rag i think it's well i mean she also implicated gosnok anyways yeah i think it's a matter for the captain we definitely need her in as a witness against gosnok yeah should one of us get rag now and bring him down here instead of bring her up on deck yeah that's probably good yeah yeah that's a good idea we could put her in the cage i'll do it yeah we could climb up and put her in the cage i mean she she might have a key yeah but we'll like two of us will be there

but like that way she's still not going to be in front. Just ask Rag. Ultimately, it'll be his decision. Can I go? Are you guys cool if I go? Yeah. Well, he likes maybe Gormley because he likes her. Yeah. All right, Gormley will be right back, and she'll scamper off back up to join Rag. But if he wakes... If Gormley wakes him up in the middle of the night,

he might think something different's going on. I knew you couldn't resist me. Are you bringing her up, or are you leaving her down there and just sending Gormley? No, I'm staying down there with her. We'll send Gormley to bring Rag down to the room where you come in when you first go down the stairs. All right, so Gormley goes up, goes through the whole Hal Rick's being rude, blah, blah, blah, brings Rag down. Okay. Rag's down there.

So he knows that it's not like a secret stairwell. No, it's just a trapdoor stairwell. No, it's just a trapdoor stairwell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it. Yeah, and what's all this about? We found a stowaway on your ship, Captain. You had more than one dumb ape on board.

Wow. What happened? What's her story? Is she the one causing all this trouble on board? Aye, she is. And she had an accomplice. An accomplice? Well, where her story? Is she the one causing all this trouble on board? Aye, she is. And she had an accomplice. An accomplice? Well, where is he? Or she?

He's sleeping. Or probably on the floor. Comfortably, right now. In your sleeping quarters. Who? Stop beating around the bush. Who is it? Find out next week.

Wait a minute. Lorik's ending this episode. Wait, who is it? Gosnok? Gosnok. That dim-witted fool. He's not smart enough to be an accomplice. What are you talking about?

Galabras put her in the zone of truth he's told you so much about. And she confessed to as much. It was Gosnok. And she was not allowed to lie. The same sorcery I used on Torg. You've witnessed the power of the goddess. She was no match for it. And she admitted that Gosnok was a part of it.

She did. What part could he play? What a fool I am. She is evil, yes? She's out to kill us? She was out to kill us. She was out to kill us. Specifically. She had a vendetta against us. She was out to kill us. Specifically.

She had a vendetta against us. But she put the entire crew at risk, obviously. All right. I need to think on this. In the meantime, we're tying her to the main mast. Ooh. That way she'll... Exposing her to the elements.

Always be under constant supervision. And there won't be any funny business with cages and locks and broken down walls. We'll have constant guards, one of you and one of my men, at all times. But in the meantime, she'll be exposed to the elements. What about Gashnok? Oh, we'll be talking to Gashnok, too. Oh. So you go upstairs, uh you tie her to the main kind of help tie her in a lasher

lasher to the main mast and like it's like raining out it's already just a terrible situation it's the middle of the night uh early morning and uh yeah you lash her her to this pole in the middle of the boat, and she's just, like, head down. Oh, my head and my mic. She's just head down, sunken, defeated. It's weird. She wishes she died. She wishes she died so she could join Screed in the afterlife, and you denied her even that.

So, yeah, what does she care what we do with her now? Yeah. But she seems to be completely cooperative. Otherwise, like, she didn't fight as you took her up the stairs. She didn't fight as you tied her. She just kind of stood there. You've taken all her weapons. You've taken all her armor.

Taken all her rations. Rag is like, Now what to do with Garshnok I'm assuming he's sleeping right now But if he was part of this He clearly wasn't the mastermind It was her I think she might have talked him into something

He might have never done otherwise But she's very persuasive Alright well I'll keep eyes on her I'll take the first watch If any of you cares to join me, you can. And I'd like to see Gajnak's reaction when he wakes up tomorrow morning and sees his little friend here tied to the main mast. See what he has to say about that.

Aye. Sound good to you? I'd like to see that myself. All right, then. Thank you. You are great crew members, and I'll make sure that Halrax gets off your back.

I'll see you in the morning. If any of you cares to join me, you're welcome to it. And he just sits down, like, back against the wall. Whips out his kukri, and just kind of sharpens it. On a whetstone. Lork is totally exhausted.

He's definitely going to sleep. I need to sleep to replenish my spells. All right, so everybody beds down. Baron's going to hang out until someone else wakes up. Okay, so Baron will do first watch. Pass some whiskey again to Rog and just stare at her gripping. Right, yeah, she tried to murder Baron. This is going to affect

Baron, I think, more than anyone. But at the same time, she had good reason. Baron also pulls out a whetstone and sharpens his gun. I don't think that's how it works. He sharpens every bullet. They are piercing. And the next morning, do you guys get up?

Well, I mean, you have to sleep your eight hours. Baron is going to be probably a little tired. I don't know if you switch shifts or anything, but you probably don't. I mean, we'll make arrangements to switch shifts. Make arrangements to switch shifts. So as you're coming down the stairs. Is it still raining or should I turn it off? No, the rain has stopped.

Gajnak is preparing. He's cooking. He hasn't been out on deck. So you kind of walk by him. Do you say anything to him? No, no. If Lork crosses his path, he's just going to nod to him like everything's okay.

He's just going to completely ignore that he... Act as if he doesn't know this intelligence about him. Okay. Galabras and Gormley and Baron, are you guys coming out onto the deck? We're underway now, right? Like, we're moving again in the morning. You're starting to move off, yeah. Rag is just kind of waiting. He knows that

Gajnak spends most of his morning preparing in there, and he really wants to see the reaction, but he kind of wants to do business as usual that's the sense you get just to catch this and see how it all plays out he doesn't and i don't think you guys either see god's knock as a threat if she coerced him in some way or whatever well he's certainly not going to escape anywhere right the only place he's going to go is in the water to die um to meet the river sharks. To meet the river sharks.

So you guys come out on deck, presumably, and you're just kind of hanging out near Malira. Malira's just head down still, won't even make eye contact with you. She's got, like, red, her neck is red, and you can see that she tried to, like, choke herself in the night, like, forcing

herself against the ropes, and finally just gave up. So she's got rash all around her neck. And Blood Tusk is up steering the boat as it starts to move off. And, you know, Galabras, you would know from when you were working with Gajnak that unless he has to go to the storeroom, he's going to be in there for a couple hours. So I would think you're all kind of impatient to see this thing, and you're wondering, you know, Rag's just got his own way of doing things.

He's not just going to drag him out. He kind of wants to see this all play out. I mean, he doesn't feel threatened by him, so you also, I can't imagine, feel threatened by him. So he's just keeping an eye on Malir. He knows you guys are there. He's watching and everything. Well, I will

say, I mean, if a lot of time is passing, Lork is going to kind of stand down near the door of the galley. Okay, right. And kind of like stand outside, kind of like guarding, basically. So Lork's down right near the door to the galley. Yeah. If he's listening, he's just listening to

try to hear him chopping onions and carrots and shit like that. If that's what he's hearing, he's not going to go in. If he hears anything suspicious, he'll go in, but he's just going to stand out in the hall. Okay, yeah, and you just hear ching, ching, ching, ching, ching? Yeah. Oh, now where did I put my dish in there? You hear these little murmurs. Baron, what are you doing?

Are you still working on the finishing touches? I'm still finishing up. It may have inspired me to change something up a little bit after our last battle. Right, okay. So Baron's working there. Galabras, where are you? I'm going to go into the galley.

Okay, so Galabras goes into the galley. So the Lord will nod to Galabras and be like, you know him better than we do, so go ahead. Good morning, Kuznok. Oh, hello. You know that I can't let you cook anymore.

Yes, I know I've been banished from the kitchen. I'm so sorry. I don't mean to be rude, but good morning to you. I do need to talk to you, however, and since I am banished from the kitchen, perhaps you'll join me out on the deck. Well, I just have to finish up my... Now! No offence, I have to finish up. Now. No offense, I have to finish up. Now. I'll be in

trouble. Why do I have to go out on deck? I don't understand. And I use command. I cast command on it. It's like, come with me. Okay. Wow. Wow. Awesome. Is that a will save? Yeah. It's DC 14, I think. He rolled

a 14 on the die, but you've intimidated him with your words, and he's, you know, after this goes back and forth, he's like, all right, I don't want any trouble. I know you've got some sorcerer tricks. It's fine, it's fine. So as that's going on, Gormley, I'm assuming you're up in the crow's nest. Yeah.

As is tradition. She would have had to pass Melira as she went by. She climbed up. Right, hello. She steps on her head to get started. 17 climb checks later, you get up there with your hair, roll a perception check. This always ends in some sort of giant flying creature descending onto the boat.

Oh, I get a plus two when I'm up there. 16. 16. Okay. You see the boat is just moving along the river, and you see a dam, like a makeshift dam up in the distance. Oh, fucker. Blocking. Blocking?

The entire river. Beaver attack! It's a beaver! It's a beaver fight! Send in a marine! Yeah, it's like, you see boulders, animal carcasses, mud, just like a real shitty dam, completely

blocking the way. It looks man-made. You see that? It looks... It looks orc-made. It looks orc-made. It's very roughshod, but there's no way the boat can pass. We've got to drop anchor. Now, this is all happening simultaneously. Galavris is bringing Gajshnak out.

Baron is working on this. If he brings him out, Lork is going to escort them up, obviously. Right, but I mean, you see this. I shout down to Rag. You shout down to Rag, and Rag kind of looks out, and he's like, I see it, I see it. What the hell is this? And, uh... Alrak, stop

the boat! Lork, you see Tog come up on the boat during all this, and he walks up to the pilot deck to talk to Rag. And, uh, you see them kind of conversing, and Rag is really distracted by this, um...

this dam, whatnot. But he's trying to talk to Tog. He's kind of like, not now, not now. We'll talk later. And Tog is just very insistent. Can I walk over? Yeah, you want to walk over? I want to walk over, hear what they're talking about. Talk to Tog. Meanwhile, Galabras walks out with Gajnak and Gajnak walks out and sees

Melira. Eyes bug out of his head. This motherfucker. You see this happen. Baron, you kind of look over your shoulder from where you're doing this. You see Gajnak with his eyes bugging out. Meanwhile, you've come up to the dam, and Rog is like, Tog, not now, we'll talk about it later. You hear this lork.

You come up, Tog standing right there, and Tog is like, what's the problem? I don't understand. It's just a dam. And he looks at lork and just kind of smiles. And then all of a sudden That Tog motherfucker. It's almost like it happens in slow motion.

You're standing right in front of him, lork. And the little smile Tog gives to you. You just hear this like and a javelin goes straight through Tog gives to you. You just hear this like and a javelin goes straight through Tog's neck on one side. Oh no. Comes out the other side and the life falls from his eyes.

Right next to Baron a giant webbed claw reaches up over where you're working. We'll pick up here next time. Oh my god! Oh! Talk!

Talk! Outro Music