The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 42 - For He's a Jolly Good Merrow

Episode Date: March 15, 2016

The confrontation with Gashnakh over his apparent treachery is rudely interrupted by an aquatic ogre attack! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. I've decided to make a couple new house rules. A couple things are going to happen. A couple things are going to happen. Troy changes the game, but Joe's luck stays the same. If there's a fan out there who wants to do a statistical analysis of how crappy Joe rolls. I'm telling you, it's a real thing. Galabras will not let his companions

go down without a fight. Let go of him! And charges while turning on the Righteous Might and going giant size. Wow. And he calls on the aid of an old friend. In the water, you all witness a familiar blowhole. I know that.

I know that blowhole anywhere. But will it be enough? If she goes below zero, she will die the next round. Because she can't hold her breath if she's unconscious. The Chellish Devil gets boarded right now. Hey, what's going on everybody? Welcome back to another episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast. Welcome to another week of gaming with your friends and mine, the Glass Cannon crew. I am Joe and I am honored to welcome you to episode 42.

42 is where it's at. The number itself is just, there's something about it. Am I right? is just, there's something about it. Am I right? Incidentally, it happens to be, true story, the favorite number of our voiceover guy, AJ Allen. And a hearty thank you to AJ for those awesome intros every week. You are a badass, my friend. 42, besides just being AJ's favorite number, is the number of arguably one of the most influential figures in sports and civil rights of all time, Jackie Robinson. 42, if there's any geeks listening to this, is obviously the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything. Street in New York City, where we record our show, is a thoroughfare that boasts Grand Central Terminal, the U.N. Building, the New York Public Library, and Times Square. It's a busy-ass street. And here's a deep cut for you.

I actually had to look this one up. There are 42 territories on a risk board, incidentally. I'd be shocked if 20% of our subscriber base didn't already know that. Anyway, 42 also happens to be the episode of the Glass Cannon podcast when a confluence of events comes rushing at the characters all at once. Melira, Screed's scorned and widowed lover, must answer for her crimes against the party. Gajnak, the cook, the unassuming cook, is revealed to be a traitor before his captain.

And before anyone has time to just seriously react to this, a makeshift barricade suddenly appears and a surprise attack will throw the crew and the heroes into complete chaos. Chaos that will absolutely earn a We Are Stupid column. Get ready for this one. It lives up to the number. Enjoy episode 42. In the interest of keeping things fun and exciting, I've decided to...

Resign forever as a GM. Yeah! I'm done. Thanks, guys. It's been real. Bye-bye, perverts. We'll be holding interviews for places. How do you guys really feel?

We love you, actually. We love you. I've decided to make a couple new house rules. A couple things are going to happen. A couple things are going to happen. Do you guys want the good news first or the bad news? And they're both relative. I'm a bad news first guy.

Do we need to be taking notes on this? Is this extensive house rule? Nope. I want the bad news first. Bad news first. I always like getting bad news first. Get it out of the way. Now, this isn't that bad.

It's just something I've been thinking about. So we do this thing that once the PCs get to a point where they have multiple attacks, which I think happens at sixth level generally. Yeah, the first time it happens usually is sixth level. We started doing in our other games that you have to confirm your fumbles. So when you roll a one because you have so many more attacks you know as you could go up two attacks three attacks four attacks you know there's more of a chance you're going to roll fumbles and so what we do is you

have to confirm your fumbles meaning oh i rolled a natural one okay now roll again and if your roll is a hit then the fumble didn't happen and it's just a miss it's just a miss but if you miss on the fumble confirm, then you confirm the fumble. You draw a card. And something really bad happens. Well, the thing is, you guys are now facing monsters and bad guys that have multiple attacks, and I'm nerfing

myself by not holding myself to the same rule. So from now on, any of my people that have multiple attacks, when they're doing a full round action in which they would use multiple attacks, I'm going to confirm my fumbles for my monsters. So that's the bad news.

So Malira wouldn't have fumbled twice. Does it have anything to do with what their hit die are? Because Ben Vereen has multiple attacks and a full attack action, does he confirm fumbles? Oh, yes. In that case... So it's just having multiple attacks. When you're using your full attack action and you he confirm fumbles? Oh, yes. In that case... So it's just having multiple attacks. When you're using your full attack action

and you're using multiple attacks, you confirm your fumbles. So I would confirm fumbles on rapid shot then, now. Because that's a full attack action with multiple attacks. It is. No, I'm going to say no for that. I agree. That's the risk you take with rapid shot, I have to say. Right here on the spot.

But now you want to hear the good news? You guys don't think it's going to be that great. You really have so little faith in me. That's the risk you take with rapid shot, I have to say. Right here on the spot. But now you want to hear the good news? Okay, sure. You guys don't think it's going to be that great. No. You really have so little faith in me. We have been experimenting in Joe's Wrath of the Righteous campaign that he runs with a new crit system. What's it called, Joe? Laying Waste.

Laying Waste. It's fucking great. Now, I don't think we can do it for the podcast because the last thing we want to do is add more math. Hold on, we've got to do this and add the podcast because the last thing we want to do is add more math. Hold on. We've got to do this and add this together. So we're not going to do that. But what I've decided that I really like about the system, there's nothing more anticlimactic than rolling a natural 20 and not confirming the fumble. So from now on, all natural 20s that are unconfirmed crits will do max damage.

All right. All right. There you go. I like it. And that laying waste suggestion, that suggestion actually came from a listener by email, and I wish I could remember who it was, but thank you. I'm so bad at giving those in the moment shout-outs. Yeah.

Shout-outs. But yeah, all unconfirmed 20s. So if you have a falchion that crits 18 to 20, 18 and 19 aren't going to do it, but I want the 20s to have more meaning. So when you roll a natural 20. So a natural 20 is guaranteed max damage at least. Guaranteed max.

At least. Unconfirmed 20s. Beautiful. And that's it. That's the episode this week. All right. Well, now that we got that sorted out. Thank you for listening to Rule Changes with Troy.

Yeah. That's really all I had prepped. Did anything big happen at the end of last episode? I can't remember. I remember a claw. A giant claw. Oh, a giant claw. I remember a dead dog.

Right. As far as we knew ye. I just want to know who's going to tell Shogg. I know. Well, he probably felt it in his own neck. He doesn't need to be told. Yeah, he's a twin. They have those connections.

Not it, for the record we're all touching our noses uh lira will untie you if you tell shaq i actually have a question because there wasn't time to ask last time the claw yes is it the same as a river drake claw is it the same size as like the big river drake or is it a completely different claw creature completely okay different webbed giant claws are you gonna are you gonna make us roll for initiative before i roll a knowledge check on that uh yes but damn it a couple things are gonna happen first thing that happens galabras comes out with gajnak gajnak sees Melira and yells out, What have they done to you,

my love? Oh, you slut! Oh my god. Melira lifts up her head, looks back at him intently. Galabras, you're standing right next to Gajnak. Gajnak hurls himself

over the edge of the boat into the water. What? What? Gajnak Gajnak hurls himself Over the edge of the boat into the water What? Gajnak, gone Wow, that's insane And Malira goes back to looking straight down On the plus side, Galabros I think you can get back into the kitchen Yeah, is my

Can I cook again? We'll discuss this later I think we have A river kestrel stew going With Gajnak in there Can I cook again? We'll discuss this later. I think we have a River Kestrel stew going with gosh knock in there. Yeah. Second thing that happens next to Baron, this crawls up on deck. Oh, I know. I think I know what it is. Check the Tumblr.

Sexy Murrork. I believe. It's giant Murrork. Murrork. I believe It's a giant Murr orc Murr orc I think

I think it is A sow Sowhagen Which is an aquatic troll That's my guess It's close Okay Very close

But it is gigantic Okay And that is what you see That hurled a javelin From atop The barricade over here That killed Tog. Don't pay attention to that pawn.

It's a different pawn because I only have two of the actual pawns. You only have two. And next to Halrax, another one is climbing up on board. Oh, shit. So there's one on the dam, the man-made dam or creature-made dam. One crawling up next to Baron on the boat. One crawling up next to Howrix. These giant, aquatic, green-scaled skin, webbed hands.

With washboard abs. With washboard abs. They're swimmers. Yeah, they have swimmers built. They're like a green Michael Phelps. Get him a sandwich Then leave us alone And before you roll initiative Basically Rag looks down at Tog

And is like No I will not stand for this on my boat And him and Halrex are rolling initiative as well Roll for initiative Nice Finally I love it

Who has over 36 nobody over 36 okay anybody over 20 24 i should have just said gormley what did you get over 20 uh anybody above 15 oh sorry i had 24 okay roll off it's a roll off. This is so exciting every time. I love this. Why do you roll the same number all the time? Yeah. Did you add your... So wait.

So Baron goes first. Baron goes first. I had 17. 17 for Lork and Benvary. I also had 17. Oh, God. Double roll off. No, but they go before me. Yeah, so Lork goes Benvary. I also had 17. Oh, God. Double roll-off. No, but they go before me.

Yeah, so Lork goes before Jalabs. All right. What'd you say, 17, Lork? Yeah. Okay, everyone roll a perception check. 10. 24. 8. 14. 10 24 8 14

Okay Baron can act in a surprise round Oh nice So Baron you see this claw Climbing up the boat And the creature actually climbs up Onto the boat next to you. Giant Mermaid.

Would I know if he had reach? You would assume, where he is at least twice your size. Okay, I'm going to get up close and deadly and pull my gun out and say, Go back to the sea, you big green motherfucker. Simple but effective. River. River. River for the record.

Should all remember we're on a river, not the ocean. I don't know what a body of water is. It is very hard to remember that sometimes. That is an 18 against Touch AC. That is a hit Yeah, there you go Grants, big old dice That is

9 points Or sorry, 13 points of damage 13 points of damage, boom So you just aim your gun up at this giant creature Blast off at him Right into six pack It's my understanding that I can't really move away from him without

provoking an attack of opportunity, right? Correct. When you're up close to a creature of that size, he threatens the square, like moving away would provoke two attacks of opportunity. Because he threatens the square you're in and the square away from you. I'm going to do a daring action.

Ah, go ahead. And I'm going to do a daring action. Ah, go ahead. And I'm going to rapid reload regardless. Oh, and that provokes? Yes, it does. But he is a giant, is he not? He is of the giant subtype. So he gets a bonus. Baron gets a bonus to Zayce against him.

All right. So as you're reloading, it goes to claw you. 17. That is a miss. Ooh, nice. You reload your gun, and now it is the top of round one, and it's Baron's turn. Did that count as a daring act?

Yeah, it was pretty daring. Yes. Baron said, I told you to jump in the water. What's the matter? Don't you know how to swim, boy? I only speak giant. I'm sorry, I don't understand it. I actually think I speak giant, but I have to look that up.

Same attack strategy. 21 to hit. 21 hits. Beautiful. 10 points of hits. Beautiful. 10 points of damage. Nice. So you've got a total of 23 points of damage to this creature. And

I'm going to rapid reload again. Alright. It is Oh, that will provoke. Oh, unless it has multiple attacks of opportunity, which it does not. Yeah. Gormley, you're up. Knowledge, nature on the creature. Knowledge, not. Yeah. Gormley, you're up. Knowledge, nature, I'm the creature. Knowledge, nature, gold.

Ooh, that is 24. 24. What you know is that they are amphibious. No kidding. No shit. They usually travel in threes. It said a piece of useful information Right

They're green The only piece of useful information you would know from this Is that they would probably attempt to grapple any foes that they claw Oh, okay Well Can I see, is it currently unarmed? It is, it is. It's just a two giant web claws. Two giant claws.

I have some advice, though. Just don't get hit by them, and you won't get grappled. So. That is good advice. Good advice. Sound, sound advice. Okay, uh, I just did some math. Some Pythagorean theorem.

Oh, I'm nervous. Is it taller than, say, five feet? Yes, it is taller than five feet. Okay, then I am just in range to Evil Eye it. Oh, boy. So you're just looking down at the top of his head and sending bad vibes. Bad vibes. So Evil Eye for saving throws.

And this is a will save? Yes. And this is the one that Baron is blasting at? Yeah. All right. 17 will save. It saves, and I'll cackle to extend it. All right Yeah. Alright. 17 we'll save. It saves and I'll cackle to extend it. Alright, so it's minus two to saves

for two rounds? Yeah. Alrighty. It is now Halrex's turn. Halrex whips out her fucking flute and starts playing it. I've been asking for this for so long.

Inspires courage, plus one. Oh no! To all of you. Now, Skid, I think you've got some splainin' to do about inspire courage because we have yet to encounter a bard. Well, uh... Nerd! Skid's got some splainin' to do.

It is time for Nerd Edge! Bard edition. All right. Bard is a character class that focuses on performance. And her performance in this case is playing the flute. And so when she does it, for a certain number of rounds per day, she can inspire courage in her allies, which gives them a bonus to hit and to damage,

and it also gives them a bonus to saves against fear effects. Right. So you all get a plus one to attack and damage, and if Gormley casts any fearful spells on you, you'll also get a plus one to your saves. I should also say that in Skid's game he's DMing there are two bards, and the two of them have decided that

their performance route is dancing and telling stand-up comedy jokes. So I'm thrilled to be dealing with a more traditional bard. It makes sense, though. Is it Coxswain or a Coxon? I don't know what it is neither does Troy

doesn't matter starboard port aft stern that it makes sense that someone who yells at people to row all day right

she's got to inspire them yeah inspire courage is she multiclassed maybe we'll have to ask her we'll have to ask her ask her after the battle

we'll have to charm her again charm her person againm the person again Hey baby Are you multiclassed Or is it just me As all this pandemonium Is happening Tog gets the

The javelin to the neck Gajnak Jumps overboard All of a sudden You hear this melodious flute And it is Lork Slash Benverine's turn

Okay So Lork is Seeing Tog go down. I think he's going to try to go at the one that threw the javelin. Okay. Because Lork is all the way up in the front of the boat on the top deck. So we can see the guy who's on the barricade, the makeshift barricade. So you're going to jump into the water to swim up to the barricade?

Or you're just going to... No, I'm going to do an old-fashioned rapid shot. Oh! And this is favored enemy because he is a giant subtype. Nice. He is. And I have inspired courage, so this is going to be my highest bonus arrow shots ever. You're getting a little too excited.

I'm very excited. All right, here we go. Let's get ready to fumble! Shot one, crack die. Shot two, critical fumble. Of course! Get out of here! Of course!

Like, what the fuck? Jesus. Break out the cards. Oh, my God. Let's get ready to fumble. Yeah, give me the fucking card. Oh, man. You know, you're probably emotionally distressed at the death of Tog.

Probably. And your new buddy. I love each other so much. Oh, my God. Whoops. You are knocked prone. Which means now I can't take my second shot. You do take a second shot straight up in the air.

Flork's life is so ridiculous, and it's all my fault. I guess the deck is slippery. We make fun of Joe for having terrible rolls a lot. If there's a fan out there who wants to do a statistical analysis of how crappy Joe rolls. I'm telling you, it's a real. If there's a fan out there who wants to do a statistical analysis of how crappy Joe rolls... I'm telling you, it's a real thing.

It is a real thing. I'm plagued by terrible rolls. And you're also on your back. I'm going to say Ben Vereen attacks you. What does Ben Vereen do? No, I'm going to try to get Ben Vereen to go help on deck. I can't believe you lost. And I did it! You did it!

I did it! I pushed him to attack. That was a 15 on the die, so that was lucky. So he will, he will move up to, let's see, does he have the room? Yeah, he's got the room,

and he will, does he provoke? Where is he moving to? He's going to go up to Baron? Or to the one that has yet to climb on deck? Oh, it hasn't climbed on deck yet. It hasn't climbed on deck yet. Oh, okay. Then he's just going to go searching for prey. So he'll go over to the

one near Baron. Okay, great. So he will provoke once moving into the space. It's still the first round. That one already took us to attack of opportunity, so he will not provoke. I guess Wolverine is smart. He's certainly a great dancer. It's true that Wolverines can detect combat reflexes

Yeah Combat reflex feet Speaking of combat reflexes Galabras Alright Well Galabras like Just saw Goshnok

Plummet over the side of the boat He whips around to see these Hideous creatures attacking his friends He pulls The hammer of Uskroth from his belt and starts charging into the fray. And I guess I'll have to take a double move to get there, but I want to get...

Around the stables? Around the stables and into the backside of this creature that's attacking Beren and his best friend, Benverine. All right. All right. Nobody loves Benverine more than Galapagos. You're moving to 20 feet, right? I am the biggest Ben Vereen advocate on this podcast.

I love Ben Vereen. The actor, not the Wolverine. All right, it is now. Well, no, Matthew's the biggest man of the actor. The actual Ben Vereen. The consman song and dance man. It is now their turn. Lorik, do you get a bonus to your AC laying on the ground?

Yes. Okay. Just for range, though. Yeah, from range to text. Okay, well, the one that's standing up on the dam picks another waterlogged spike up and hurls it at Rag. Wait, did Rag not go?

Rag rolled the lowest initiative. Oh. Hurls it at Rag and hits Rag. Oh. Like right in his side. Oh. You just see this. Lork, all your friends are dying around you.

And I'm on the ground. And Rag slipped on the wet deck. Rag takes nine points of damage. Oh, shit. Gah! This is why I don't take part in these battles! This is why I leave it to you! The other creature that has yet to come on deck

climbs up on deck and goes to claw Halrix. Claws Halrix. For seven points of damage and attempts to grapple Halrex. And grapples Halrex. So this creature...

It can move and do... Does that immediately interrupt her? That interrupts her Inspire Courage. Not technically. She needs two hands, doesn't she? Technically, unless she's switching her performance to another bardic trick or whatever they're called, a performance. It keeps going until she decides to stop doing it. Right.

So imagine in real time that song has inspired you all and you're all filled with that. But yeah, so the creature climbs up on deck, claws Hal Rex, and wraps her up into a grapple. Okay. It's a free grab attempt when it hits with a claw attack. The other one attempts to do the same at Baron, but it has full attack, two attacks. First claw, 11. A miss.

I'm going to assume that's a miss. And second claw, possible fumble, rolling to confirm the fumble. And it did not confirm the fumble, so no fumble. But it didn't do any attack. Very anticlimactic. And now it's Rag's turn. Rag comes down the deck and attempts

makes his way over towards the creature that is subduing Halrex. He does not provoke because it's not going to release Halrex. But he moves. He double moves. And that is the end

of round one. That was a long one. It's almost like you were just playing against yourself. I know. I'm exhausted. Do you need us? Multiple trolls and hell wrecks. You guys can take off.

Just leave me your character sheets so I can see all the lies. Round two, Baron. Baron is, what's he going to do? I think he's going to inspire, no, wait. He's going to shoot. He can No, wait. He's going to. He can't do that. He's going to get up close and deadly one more time with this. It's not a goblinoid or an orc, is it?

It is not. It is a large humanoid. Ooh. 23 against touch AC. Yeah. That rhymed. And it hits. Baron is a poet.

We know this. Minimum damage. But thankfully, we're boosted a little bit, so we're going to do eight points of damage. Eight points of damage. It is almost dead. Wow. Nice. Another little daring do.

Going to reload one more time. Oh, you scared. All right. It will take its attack of opportunity and it hits. What did it roll? 19 on the die. Oh. Wait, did it get

to 22, though? Yes. I'm just making sure. I don't believe this motherfucker. Stop it. That is a 7. Now, let me ask you this. I think it gets the grab. Of course. It does. So seven points of damage, and now it will attempt to grapple Baron.

21 versus your CMD. That is a grab. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a grab. It's a grab. We've got a pair of grabs. It's a grab. Oh, wow. Okay, so you take seven points of damage.

These creatures have now come up on deck Clawed Howrex clawed Baron and have them In their grips Bad shit's gonna happen It is now Gormley's turn First things first Gormley will Cackle to extend the hex Okay and that's gonna extend it another round

Another round And shit She's gonna just shit from the Crows nest another round. Another round. And shit. She's going to just shit from the crow's nest? All right. It's not a bad move. He's a move attack. That's a free action?

No, it's a move attack. No. Bow move move attack. A bow move action. Swift. Gormley will begin summoning. High fiber. It's a swift action for Gormley.

Gormley begins summoning. Oh, okay. All right. It is now Howrex's turn. Howrex attempts to break the grapple. What else can she do? Howrex attempts to break the grapple and fails. So she is locked in. And it is now Lork's turn.

Lork is going to sheepishly get up from his nap from the deck. Well, the ship probably buckled or something in the waves. Yeah, man, it's tough. He's not a... They're experienced on ships. Still hasn't got his river legs in the room.

He's going to set his feet, eye up this thing that's on the makeshift barricade, take aim, and fire one shot and attempt to hit this guy. Natural two. Ooh. Now, what is that adjusted? It's adjusted 12. Yikes.

Miss. Sails by buy But maybe Oh Ben Vereen will do a full attack action On the guy who is grappling Baron Okay So he's gonna go Nuts right now

Take him down Wolverine He's gonna go nuts right now Go for the ankles Alright here we go So Let's see Claw First claw

Miss Second claw 15 Miss And the bite I will say This could save Baron's life Claw. First claw, miss. Second claw, 15. Miss. And the bite... I will say, this could save Baron's life. Miss. So he can't, in other words. Oh, boy. Benverine had a chance of killing this thing, I think. Yep.

Alright, it is Galabras' turn. Okay. Galabras. Seeing his friends. Baron, next to his best friend, Benverine. I'll accept that, I'll accept that. In fear of death from this creature, says, let go of him, and charges while turning on the righteous might

and going giant size. Wow. So straight up charge, that's going to be a plus two to hit, and then a minus two to your AC if you don't kill him. Oh, man. I just see him growing as he runs. It's a 25. That is a hit.

Fuck yes. Oh, max damage. Baron lives another day Plus one for inspired courage 13 damage 13 damage Baron as this thing grabbed you You could feel its next move

Was to fall off deck with you In its bear hug Galabros rushes up And caves its head in with Ustrath's hammer Nicely done, Sam And, uh Wow Nicely done

Thank you, Gil Nobody tosses a dwarf into the river It is now their turn The guy up on the barricade, again, picks up some rickety spike Hurls it this time at Lork. 17 unadjusted, so I'm going to say 23. Hits Lork with this javelin. The javelin that hit and killed Tog.

The javelin that hit Rag right in his liver. Not the same javelin. The same javelin. It's a returning javelin. It's like Thor's hammer with a javelin. Hits Lork with a javelin for 11 points of damage. Oh, ouch. Boom.

Ouch. Okay, now the other creature grappling Halrex attempts to do what it was going to do to Baron. Oh, fuck. It's overboard with it. Oh, shit. First, it will attempt to maintain the grapple. If it succeeds, because it's bringing Halrex to a dangerous place,

not unlike when Lork was put in a catapult, she will get a plus four to try and break the grapple. Otherwise, they're both going overboard. And I'll tell you right now, he could kill her. So first, he will attempt to maintain the grapple. Maintains the grapple. Goes to fall overboard with Halrex. Oh, are you guys nervous for Halrex?

Yeah, I am. That is a 13 plus 4. Goes overboard with Halrex. Oh, no. Wow. That just happened. Yeah, I don't think, And Lork didn't see it He's up front

Shooting at this guy On the thing Rag's like No He'll probably turn around At that And now it's Rag's turn

Rag jumps overboard Yeah Yeah he does Yeah he does Kukri and Scimitar in hand Jumps into the sea And Badass Attempts to the sea and attempts to jump straight down at this guy and attempts to hit him with his Kukri, I guess. I should have just given you guys these character sheets.

And misses. But Rag is now in the water next to the creature holding Halrex and it is round three. Baron, you're standing next to the corpse of this giant aquatic sea creature. I fart on him. I'm called for it. So is the token that's on top of the dam right now

an enemy that could potentially attack us soon? He's been throwing the javelins. That's the one that's been throwing the javelins at Lork, yeah. So I'm going to... I doubt you can see him. Because this deck is higher. Like, where Lork is is a full thing higher. So you probably wouldn't even know he's there.

But he knows that the javelins have been coming in from his direction. You would hear people crying out from the pilot deck. Yeah, I'm going to allow Rag to... I think he's a former gladiator. He's super buff. Halrex is well done, so I'm not going to jump in, and I'm obviously not a good swimmer. So I'm actually going to walk up onto the deck

to see what's going on. Okay, so Baron double actually going to walk up onto the deck to see what's going on. Okay. So, uh, Baron double moves to the pilot deck and you see this creature on the dam, uh, just grabbing shit and throwing it. Okay. Um, I am going to say to the crew, um, help me with the ballista. I don't know what happened to my Texas accent. But it's gone.

And you see Uruk and Krothu start making their way to help you with the ballista. Nice. And I am going to fight defensively as a standard action. But you took two move actions To get up to the pilot down I took 20 feet Oh alright So you're going to go full defense No just fight defense

Full defense Gives you plus 4 to AC Minus to hit Fighting defensively is another standard action You can do and it's minus 4 penalty On attack rolls and plus two to AC. That's for when you're in combat. Okay.

So I'm going to go total defense then for this round. All right. Plus two to your AC, minus two to hit. Plus four to AC. Plus four to AC, minus two to hit for the next round. Gormley. Well, actually, I'd like to introduce you to a friend of mine. Oh.

Is it Gladys? Nope. His name is Byron. Gormley. Well, actually, I'd like to introduce you to a friend of mine. Oh. Is it Gladys? Nope. His name is Byron. Oh. And he's a celestial poisonous frog. Wow. Gormley's so weird. And he appears in the water and tries to attack the

creature that has a power up. Okay. And he attempts to bite the creature. 19 to hit. It bites the creature. Beautiful. That's awesome.

And its damage is one plus poison, so please roll a fortitude save. Oh, boy. And this, no, this isn't the one that you hexer save. That one is dead. That one is. That one's dead. That one's dead. Okay, fortitude save.

I rolled a 16. It's it. Okay, but one damage? One damage. I got a few poison this thing. I can see this tiny little frog just comes up and nips him on the ankle. All right, now it's Gormley's actual turn. Actually turn.

Actually turn. Gormley is going turn. Actually turn. Actually turn. Gormley is going to cast Spectral Hand. Oh, all right. And are you moving at all? No. Hex is now done since that creature's dead. No, she'll stay on the crows so she can kind of survey the battlefield. Like a coward.

Okay. Or a... All right. The last thing you could call Gormley is cowardly at Or a... All right. The last thing you could call Gormley is cowardly at this point. All right. Hal Rex will attempt again to break free. And she fails again. Again!

Is she close to drowning? Or what's going on with her whole breath? So this is how I understand it, only because this almost happened to one of my characters in another game. If she goes below zero, she will die the next round. Because she can't hold her breath if she's unconscious. Oh, her lungs will fill with water. That's how I understand it.

That's how drowning works. So that was her move, and now it's Lork's turn. All right. that was her move, and now it's Lork's turn. All right. Lork is once again going to set his feet and try to do a full attack action rapid shot at this guy on the barricade. Come on, Lork.

Get it together. I'm assuming Inspire Courage is done, right? She's underwater. She's underwater, yeah. If you can't hear or see their performance or whatever, then you don't get the effect. Okay, here we go, Lark. Bubbles coming up from the water.

The flute sound. First shot, miss. Second shot, 17. AC 17. All right. There we go. And now we know it's AC. Yay.

There we go, Lark. 10 points of damage. 10 points of damage. The Larks are back in town. Ben Vereen, I'm assuming also jumps in the water to join the frog and rag. I'll tell Ben Vereen to come

so he'll come to me. Okay. Ben Vereen runs up to the bag. And that's automatic now? Yeah. Come is the only one he knows automatically. Gross. Not unlike Joe himself. It's the only trick I know. What's up, guys?

It is a swift action. For Joe's concern. No matter how old we get, shit and cum jokes are still funny around the D&D table. Galabras. You have felled the mighty aquatic giant. All right, Galabras is going to shrink back down

As he runs to the Starboard side of the rail I'm not going to jump in And he's going to say Halrax no This woman who's given us a really hard time And who none of us really like She was really nice when under the influence of a spell

Yes that's true That was her save the cat moment I will say that I will miss her inspire courage That's why I want her back The thing I'll miss most is her inspire courage Rag will be really sad Tog's dead, so he doesn't matter And Glamis is going to begin casting Summon Monster 2.

Oh, boy. I know who's coming. Up in the ante. 17 dolphins. Will we see an old friend? A new friend and some new friends, perhaps. Okay, this guy up on the barricade has a lot of movement. He jumps into the water, and then Lork, you see him come up on, start, he climbs up onto the deck.

But he's down a little bit in front of me. Or he climbs all the way to the pilot deck. So he's like standing on the ballista. Pretty much, yeah. Just like crushing it. Ballista's broken. He's ten feet from Lork now. He's ten feet from Lork, but that is his action this round.

And it is now the other one's turn, and the other one will attempt to maintain the grapple. If he successfully maintains the grapple, he will automatically do damage to Halrex. And he maintains the grapple, because you get a plus five to maintain the grapple. And he will do damage to Halrex and has the potential to take Halrex below zero.

But she's a full orc. She is a full orc. She has ferocity, but if she's unconscious... No, she has to go all the way down. Oh, that's right. There is hope for her. He did nine points of damage. Jeez.

She is still alive, but she will not be next round. Oh, God. Possibly. It is now Rag's turn. Rag will now do a, she could do a full attack action underwater if you're right next to the creature. He's not attempting to swim.

He drove right on top of it. Yeah, yeah. All right, so Rag will make two attacks. First attack, hits. Hits with the scimitar for minimum damage. Four points of damage. What do you have against Halrex, honestly? He's trying to up the stakes.

And then rolls a natural 20 on the scimitar. There we go. Max damage. Natural 20 goes to, and scimitar is is crit 18 to 20. Named character. Named character. Rolls to confirm. And confirms. Yeah. AC 17. What a badass. Rag crits.

Axe gladiator. I guess that'd be slashing. Oh man. Terrible gash. That's what you guys thought Halrex was. Oh come on. That's terrible. Come on. It's right here guys thought Halrex was. Oh, come on! That's terrible. Come on, it's right here on the card. Double damage and one charisma drain.

I guess she'll never get a... That scar makes her really unlikely. You're never going to date again. It does... Oh, man, Rag. Rag does 14 points of damage to the creature. Wow. And one charisma drain.

All right, it is now round four. Barret. So this creature is no longer in a position to where I could potentially fire a ballista against it, it appears. You know what? That thing rotates 360 degrees. The crew members are up there with you, so if you want to take the two full round actionsista against it, it appears. You know what? That thing rotates 360 degrees. The crew members are up there with you, so if you want to take the two full round actions to load it

on the first round. He's just going to move it and attack us. He's basically inside the ballista. It's not going to work. So I think that he may have checkmated us, at least at this impasse. Fill him full of lead. Shoot him.

I will indeed give this guy a taste of sweet, sweet dwarven steel. And I will not get up close and deadly. I'm trying to maintain some stuff, so I'm just going to shoot at him. All right. That is a 13 against touch, AC. 13 against touch. Hits exactly. There we go.

Lork has already done 10 points of damage. That's six points of damage. And then six more from Baron's magic handbanger. All right, Gorms. Actually, excuse me, it's Byron's turn. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm assuming a nine misses. A nine does miss.

Okay, nine misses. Gormley is then going to use her spectral hand. Oh, yes, spectral hand. To sensuously touch Lork and cast Enlarge Person on him. Whoa! There we go, baby. There we go. And Joe, I've noticed you've upgraded your character creation software.

You're now using Hero Lab. That is correct. And that's fun because you can just easily add it in large person and not have to do a ton of side math. Yeah, it's on the iPad. It costs a little money, but it's so worth it. It's just you throw that adjustment on there and then all your stats, boom, they all change so quickly. Pretty effing sweet. Way to go, Gorms.

All right. Halrex, yet again, will attempt to break free of the grapple Halrex Does not break free of the grapple Again Lork Lork is going to drop his bow Draw Screed's Falchion

Which is now a It's like seven feet long Oh that's right because all your equipment grows as well. Yeah, and he's going to power attack this. Oh, yeah. There we go. Yeah. So he five foot steps up and takes a big old swang.

16 to hit. Just misses. Son of a bitch. You actually wouldn't need to five foot step Because you're gigantic now That's true Oh that's true That's true as well Um

Too bad you used power attack Because that would have hit It would have yeah But uh But the damage would have been amazing Or if Hal Rex had managed to not get grappled We would have had the inspired charge Or if I could have one roll on the d20 over eight

That would be good That would be good That would probably help Any of the above scenarios Ben Maybe Ben Vereine will have better luck maybe yeah he's there oh yeah all right so hold full uh full attack action all right he will provoke running up to the creature no he's he's right next to lark so he's just a five foot step okay dot works um okay so Dot works. Okay, so first attack, miss. Second attack, miss. That's seven.

Then four. Then natural 18. There we go. Hit on the old bite. And that does... Three points of damage. Three points of damage from good old Ben Vereen. All right. do three points of damage. Three points of damage from good old Ben Vereen. Alright.

And it is now Galabras' turn. Alright. So in the water you all witness a familiar blowhole. I know that

blowhole anywhere. We that blowhole anywhere. We need some Gary music. And a friend with him. Two celestial dolphins are summoned on either side of this creature. Flanking. Yes. One of whom's name is Gary, and the other's name is Emmy. Oh.

Oh. So we're not calling Felicia in for this particular fight? No, Emmy is, she's, it's a nickname. Her actual nickname, your actual name is Melinda, but she's called Emmy because she's an award-winning video producer in heaven. And she's won so many local heaven awards, Emmy awards, that they call her Emmy.

That's terrible. I understand. Terrible story. It also happens to be the name of one of our fans on the Facebook page who months ago asked, begged to have one of the dolphins

named after her. Oh, right. So there you go. Did she beg to have a horrible backstory? Could you please make it a terrible backstory? I did my best. The only thing that Gormley concludes seeing these blowholes is that Gary is playing the field in heaven. I don't know.

I don't know if Felicia is going to get jealous or upset or I don't know. And again, Galabras does not pry into his relationships. Sure. Well, Gary and Emmy are now flanking the freshwater marrow is what they're called. Ah, damn it. Alright. Almost a bottle caps. So the

Gary attacks first. And bubbles. Oh, Gary. He hasn't been in the game in a while, man. He's out of practice. And pummels Oh Yeah Gary He hasn't been in the game In a while man He's out of practice It is a

Broken blade That's the natural attack It's melee Your weapon is destroyed Magic weapons Use their own save bonus His head is destroyed His teeth fall out

His head has been destroyed. No, just his beak. Right. So he's gone. Wait, is that something, though, like with when we didn't, with Not Your Pony attack, how even though we should have, if he doesn't have a weapon, does it apply?

Or are we just going to roll with it? It's up to Troy. It's kind of funny to have him. Think of the fans. Think of the fans. Gary explodes. Breaks his own head. Hit by a torpedo. Splat.

You see a huge fountain of water come up above the surface. Red puddle. All right, Emmy. Emmy attacks and rolls a 14. Emmy rolls a 14 and misses. Okay. Now it's straight up Galabras' turn. Galabras draws his crossbow and in a desperate attack fires at the marrow.

Whew. And misses. Misses. All right. With his loaded crossbow on his back. Now I have a feat where I can load as part of a move action. Oh, that's a good feat. No, it's a swift action.

Nice. Alright, and it is now the Merrow's turn. The one standing next to Giant Lork will attempt to claw and grab Lork. As is tradition. First attack. Your CMD is going to be jacked up because

of the enlarged person right is it your strength modifier went up yeah your strength yeah it'll auto calculate that thanks to hero uh well the first attack and your ac is down i'm assuming though that you're large yeah it's a 15. Second attack, also a miss. Alright. Lork would live at least one more round. Alright, the creature holding Halrex underwater successfully achieves the, uh,

maintains the grapple and does max damage to Halrex. Halrex is now, uh, at negative two. Oh, okay. Hit points. One more round. Because of ferocity, she will just lose a point each round, but she won't die.

We gotta get her out of that grapple. Yeah, because she's still conscious. I've got a plan. Any other creature, she would be dead next round if she's not out of that grapple. Right. Alright, and it is Rag's turn. Rag, same thing. Full attack action on this guy. Rag just, he's seeing crew members jump overboard, crew members die,

sabotage, all of this shit going down, so Rag just wants to save Howrix's life. First attack, miss. Second attack with the scimitar, miss! He's fighting underwater! Jesus. He's not... It would be incredibly hard to swing a sword in water

It's really just It would Especially trying to avoid Hitting your friend Who's just being grappled By this other creature I will tell you right now That's why we need harpoon guns

That's right Halrex's con Is 13 And she's at negative 2 Okay So there is time But But seconds

Mere seconds Mere seconds. Six seconds. Away from death. Okay, and it is now round five. Baron, don't forget, if you're shooting your gun, you will take a minus four at this point. Correct.

Can I do a quick perception to see how well this guy's doing? Do you have death watch? Nope. So I guess I can't. Yeah, I mean, he's taken at this point 19 points of damage. Alright, I'm just going to shoot at him normally. And I'm going to say, I'm going to show you how to slang shit.

I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means. Oh, it's again, it's a 13 against Touch AC. 13 exactly hits, yeah Grant has his D20 Where the paint is all chipping off of it So he has to look at the imprint Of the number

He has to get out of Jewelers So that is 10 points of damage Oh, I will tell you right now He has one hit point left Oh, man Why didn't I up- you right now he has one hit point left. Oh, man! I should have. Why didn't I up something? Hit point left. Come on, Mark. I could just kill him.

That's no fun. Alright, Gorms. Byron. Byron. Yeah, thank you very much. Byron Maxwell. 18 to hit. 18 hits? Alright. There you go. That's one damage. One throw a fortitude save. Okay.

I will. He'll make it. He made it. 23. I'll tell you, it's a DC 10. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way we'll ever poison it.

I only chose the frog because I knew these guys were amphibious. So I was like, okay, this can fight them on land or in sea. Fighting fire with fire. Amphib guys were amphibious, so I was like, okay, this can fight them on land or in sea. Fighting fire with fire. Amphibian with amphibian. It was very thoughtful of you, Gormley. Little frog. Classic strategy right at the Sun Tzu.

Alright, Gormley's normal turn. Gormley's spectral hand will dive down to grab Halrex. Oh! Spectral hand just stays active? Yeah Halrex. Oh. All right. Spectral hand just stays active? Yeah.

It's in for a number of rounds. I'm really torn. I could cure light wounds her. I could also enlarge person her. Ooh. Ooh. I like cure light wounds. She's failed so miserably at escaping the grapple.

But we can jump in and help And it'll keep her alive What happened when we enlarged When we enlarged Lork when he was grappled with that You get a bonus to your CMD But that's it Because this creature is also

He'd still be able to hold her It gives you a plus two to your CMD I would do the heal. The heal? Okay, great. So she'll... A familiar-looking spectral hand will grab Halrix's face and Cure Light wins it.

Seven points of damage. And Halrix is back. Seven points of damage. I use the wand of Cure Moderate... I mean, Cause Moderate. Halrix is back up and kicking, and it is her turn. She attempts to break the grapple and succeeds.

Yeah! Breaks the grapple, finally. Wow. With the life given to her by, well, she doesn't have gills. She starts coming to the surface to try and climb onto deck. She rolls a climb check and succeeds. So she is climbing up towards the deck,

but she has not got onto the deck. Now Rag is in there just with the marrow. Attack of opportunity from the merman. As she's going away. She's leaving threatened squares. Yeah, you're right. I don't want to be an asshole, but I just want to play the game by the rules. This happened last time

and he hits her and attempts to grapple her again. A one on the attempt to grapple. He hits her. So he fumbles. But she takes she goes back into the negative and she's

climbing on the deck Fuck I'm sorry I'm really sorry No That's totally Totally fair I love the rules Nobody loves rules More than Lork

You're up buddy Alright Lork will not power attack Kill this guy Here we go Taking a Swing with Screet Falchion

Critical threat Yeah Critical threat Yeah And he taking a swing with Screet's Falchion, critical threat. Yeah. Critical threat. Yeah. And he does not confirm, right? 16 to hit? Nope, doesn't confirm, but you do max damage under the new rules. So even with 18, on an 18 to 20, you do max?

No. Just when you roll a 20. So it's only a natural 20, right? Just to give a little juice. Did you roll a natural 20? No. Oh, okay. Oh, I bet you didn't.

Sorry. Nope, I didn't. So I did 10 points of damage. On a 2d6 I rolled snake eyes. What the fuck, man? Well, good thing it only had one hit point left. Yeah, exactly. 10 points down.

You hit it with the falchion and it just falls overboard. You see its corpse getting caught up in the dam. You gently kill him. I know, right? Ben Vereen just looks up in embarrassment at his master. He just shakes his head.

Is that Ben Vereen's turn? Don't look at me like that. Just a sour look? Just a sour look, yeah. He's going to try to demoralize Lork. Roll a save. He succeeds now. 19. Galabras' turn.

All right. Emi, the remaining celestial dolphin, shall attempt to attack the marill again. Okay. Let's go, Emi. And she misses. Thanks a lot, Emi. What the hell?

And Galabras will fire as possible. Into the water? Yeah. And 15? No. But that happened. And now it is the marrow's turn. The only prey he sees is Rag.

Goes to claw rag. Natural 20. Oh, my God. Going to be max damage. Let's see if it confirms. Confirms. 16 on the die. Oh, my.

So it's double. Wait, now it's double damage, not double max damage. Or is it max damage plus bonus damage? It's just unconfirmed 20s of max damage. So this is going to be double damage 14 points of damage To rag And an attempt to grapple

And an attempt to grapple Oh boy Succeeds on the grapple I wish I could roll like you, come on He rolls better than all of us That's my new die You know what, I need a screen, I think I'll roll a lot better You can see over here, can't you? I need a screen. I think I'll roll a lot better.

Yeah. You can see over here, can't you? We need to have him play more gorillas. Because that's his kryptonite. Well, I've actually heard that he looks like a monkey, and he smells like one, too. I did. I heard that, too. You son of a bitch. Get over here.

Okay, so Rag is now grappled underwater. Great. It's Rag's turn. Rag attempts to break the grapple and fails. Oh, I can't wait for my coup attempt as soon as they both die to take over as captain of this ship. And I'm just going to leave the adventure path

and just start going up and down the river. Make a life as a keelboatman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. River brigand. All right, top of round six. Let's take it all back. So, Gajnak comes out with Galabras, sees Melira. Y'all say, what have they done to you, my love?

Melira gives him a look. He then jumps overboard. Simultaneously, a javelin goes straight through Tog's neck. He falls to the ground and dies right in front of Lork's eyes. Rag and Haurix decide to join the fight as two freshwater marrows jump on board while another one is hurling shit at the pilot deck. That one has now come to the pilot deck

and died. One had grappled, tried to grapple Baron and bring him into the water. That one is now dead. Now one has the captain of the ship grappled underwater. Baron, you're up. Kill it! Ballista. Can I, well, it would take two turns in order Kill it. Ballista.

Can I, well, it would take two turns in order to shoot the ballista. From my vantage point. It would be horribly dangerous to shoot a ballista at rank. Not with Pathfinder rules. Not by Pathfinder rules. It would just miss everything. Daring, though? It would be very daring to almost kill the captain. Yeah.

We did go over the difference between daring and stupid, like, a few episodes ago. Can I shoot from my vantage point this high? How far away is he from me? He's, what, 40 feet away? You're in front of him. Yeah. So that's going to... Well, you have to move 20 feet, right, to the other end of the deck.

Right. I'm confused with this multi-layer thing going on here. And then he's down here about 40 feet. Yeah, well, I guess if you're up there, I have 10, 15, 20, 25, and then they're in the water. How deep are they? 10 feet. Okay.

Yeah, 10 feet. So you can't get up close and deadly, but you could get up there and shoot in at a minus four. Okay, but it's beyond 20 feet away. It's like 25 feet or 30 feet? Yeah, it's beyond 20. All right, so it's beyond my first range increment, so this will be against regular AC.

So you're just like... Fish in a barrel, baby. Marrows in a river. That'll take. man oh that ain't good that's a 10 well it's actually like six right into the water uh gormley uh how rix is uh oh excuse me byron but how rix is now, you see her Climbing onto the deck and she's in the negative But it is Byron's turn Byron will attempt to attack The Murrow again

And miss Okay Gormley will then Use her spectral hand To make a touch attack on the Murrow To inflict light wounds And I get a bonus for using the Spectral Hand. Very useful spell.

The Spectral Hand you speak of. It's an 18 to hit. 18 hits? Nice. It's taken a beating down there. You could kill it. It gets a will save, too. It gets a will to half it, yeah. But... Natural 20 on the will save, too. It gets a will to half, yeah. But. Natural 20 on the will save.

So, five damage. Roll. Five damage. All right. It is now Halrix's turn. She climbs onto the deck and collapses, spitting up water. And cures light wounds on herself. Ah.

Brings herself back up. Nice. And it is now Lork's turn. Oh, yeah, she did. Lork is going to pick up his bow, which is kind of tiny, and as he grabs it, it's just like...

Increases in size, and he'll take one shot down at this thing. One shot. One shot. Miss. Benvarine. Benvarine's going to stay. Benverine stays. Galavris. Galavris is

uh... Oh, Emi. Oh, Emi, yeah. Come on, Emi. Come on, Emi. Emi. Emi. Kill this thing. Alright, Emi. 20 to hit. 20 hits? Emi! Congratulations. Come on, kill it. Come on, kill it. Do it. Max damage. 6 damage., kill it. Max damage. 6 damage.

Kills it. Emi! Emi! Emi! Emi! That is amazing. Wait, did it really? Yeah, it really did. It had 5 points left and you did 6 damage. Thank you. It releases its grip on rag and just

floats to the bottom Instead of And Emmy as a move action Like jumps up out of the water Does a backflip and winks And then disappears Great rivet picture Off to edit a new video project

That's great Rag climbs up on deck Also just like leaning against the boat Coughing up water What What the hell is going on here? And he says, oh, where's Gosnok? Gosnok?

Yeah. Jumped in the water. You don't see him at all. Oh, my God. Maybe dead. Can I do a perception check? Sure. I will as well from the lookout.

I have no idea where he is. Rolled a two. 23. I did two, buddy. 23 from the lookout. I have no idea where he is. Rolled a two. I did two, buddy. 23 from the lookout. You see Gajnak jump in the water and you saw him swimming back towards the confluence. So you do not think he died.

Back where we came from? Back where you came from. Can I still see him? No, he went under. I really hope that Blix finds him and kills him Yeah That'd be so badass

He'll go back and see her and he's gone But wait I mean shouldn't we be going and getting him Is that not a thing See here's what I was thinking In re-listening to old episodes I think in listening to the Zone of Truth area That he may have been charmed And I think he's running away

Because he knows that he's gonna get punished Not because he felt culpable And he may still been charmed. And I think he's running away because he knows that he's going to get punished, not because he felt culpable. And he may still think he loves her, but like, I don't know. We can still chase him, but I don't think he's a mastermind by any means. But I think he knows some stuff. I mean, if she looked like gave him a funny look

and he jumped overboard, like he's just trying to not be questioned. That's what I think. Yeah. Lots to decide. But I think it's like a child running away from your parent when you steal a cookie or something. It's like you just don't want to deal with the consequences.

I don't think he knows anything, but we can still try. Rag pulls himself together, stands up, and is like, this dam is going to set us back days. We've got to figure out a way to take this down, otherwise it'll take two, three days off of our journey. This dam is going to set us back days. We've got to figure out a way to take this down, otherwise it'll take two, three days off of our journey. Good thing you'll have a week to think about how we're going to do it. We'll see you next time.

Oh, man, that was fast. Oh, I didn't know he was in charge of our act breaks now. That sucks. He's got too much power.