The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 44 - Rumble Singeskin

Episode Date: March 29, 2016

Just as the marker stone fades into view on the misty banks of the River Esk, the Chelish Devil is ambushed by a boarding party of bloodthirsty orcs! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast... Green skin! Face me! The heroes face an overwhelming attack. I'm trying to weigh the pros and cons of... Straight up jumping into the river and swimming into the river. Starting a new life. Oslob or something. And things get ugly.

That is a straight up misfire. Oh, no. Not on this one. Oh, my God. Imagine if he dropped the gun. Yeah. Like, what if the orcs picked it up? Oh, my God.

Not going to happen. Not going to happen. I'll die first. With the end in sight. You know, I'm like, I'm about, I know Galabras is about to die. It really does feel like he decided to kill us. One companion may turn the tide. We've got to call animal control on Ben Vereen

because he's killed a number of people. Got to put him down. He's a hazard. The adventure continues. Why don't you go play Dungeons & Dragons, nerd? Now. Hi everyone, Matthew here. Look, very exciting episode ahead.

Party in imminent danger, as per usual, as per Troy. So I don't want to take up too much time here, but I would like to give a little shout-out to a pocket of listeners out there in the wilds of Scotch Plains, New Jersey. You know who you are, and you're all fired. By popular demand, this is a longer episode. See, we do listen to feedback, which means you should email us. We respond to every email we receive, and we really do incorporate a lot of your suggestions and feedback into the show. So please reach out. We love that and love your support. Our email address is very easy, glasscanonpodcasts at gmail.com. Anyway, time's up. Let's do this. Please enjoy episode 44.

And we're back! I disagree. That's all I got. I disagree. I don't think we are back. We need a live studio audience. I am. It sucks because we had a really good conversation a couple minutes ago and we should have recorded that

as a way to open. Lost to the ether. It was gold. A lot of laughs. You would have really liked it let's back go back to the transcript and just reenact it we need to take a picture of this map because there's like 50 pawns on it right now this map is insane this is this is as big a battle as anything you faced uh during the siege on true now yeah since the siege the siege on True Now. When you sit down to a game of chess and only one person is moved,

that's what the board looks like right now. It's a lot of players here. Full of pawns. So, yeah, going back to last app, Gormley sees the circle of thorns on a stone on the riverbank. Off the starboard side? Off the shore.

How do you still not understand the nautical terms? I think this is the end of the boat. Porn is a drink. You were preparing a boat adventure. Like, how did you not read some basic terminology? I did say, uh, way anchor. That was a good one. That was impressive.

I nailed that one. So, yeah, just as you notice the stone that would lead the way where you need to go find the Vault of Thorns, six orcs come swimming up to the boat from hiding in the reeds. From the same direction as the stone? Right. From the same direction as the stone. Right. Okay. From the same direction as the stone. How fitting. How appropriate.

How convenient. And then meanwhile, a much larger orc, not a giant, don't get too excited. Damn it. With badly burnt skin and arms, wielding a gold-colored falchion, jumps on board. He looks like this. Oh, he's got a gilded falchion. I do have to say it's incredibly

convenient. Half an ear, and he's played by Danny Trejo. Oh, wow. It's machete. It's gold machete. It's super convenient that Troy has taken the liberty of positioning us all on this boat before this attack. I positioned you. I listened to the episode

and I said, well, Galabras is in the kitchen. So he's in the kitchen. Lork and Benverine are still below deck. Baron is working on the fishing equipment with Uruk, and that's where it is, right there. And Malira is tied to the pole that Gormley's on top. I mean, I think it's pretty accurate. Where are the, where's Rag? Rag, still in his chambers.

Still sleeping it off. And Halrex is on the pilot deck? Halrex is on the pilot deck. I don't know. This is going to be tough. I have to say, seven orcs, and we now know what real ferocity is. We were promised that this ship can pass through these waters unmolested.

That is true. Rag has a deal, we'll call it, with the orc tribes in the area. See episode 30. You leave me alone, I leave you alone, with the orc tribes in the area. See episode 30. You leave me alone, I leave you alone. So very interesting, Gromley. Why would there be an attack?

Why now? Why here? To be totally fair, they haven't molested us. They've only tried to kill us. You'll be here all episode, folks. I mean, I think what's happening is with Grenzeldeck's leadership and her saboteuring that's been seen so far with Screed and other agents, sleeper cells and stuff like that, she has to be getting intel on us somehow

that's better than what we're getting on her. I mean, is she even at Red Lake Fork, whatever it is? We are never going to know the answer to that. Oh, man, that was such a bad mistake. I know, I know. I said it the whole episode. I mean, what fork? I must have been hungry.

What room? Just remember, your red-like fork always goes to the left of your salad fork. We're having fun. We won't at the end of this combat no this is well we're having our fun now we're getting the fun out of the way now i don't normally do this but i'm going to tell you two things one i have a surprise round to cast mage armor myself negative oh no um what a good try one this is the most difficult battle you've faced yet i'm just putting that out there so you know Negative Oh no What a good try One This is the most difficult battle you've faced yet I'm just putting that out there

So you know Oh shit Now that we know these orcs go all the way down to their con And there's seven of them Oh good point It's This is going to be tough So

Steal yourselves Play as a team Play smart And if you survive this battle You're going to be fifth level. Oh my gosh! Yeah, it's been a little while since we've leveled up. That gives you some motivation for tactics, huh?

I was going to surprise you at the end of it, but no, I want you to know, if you survive this battle, you will be full fifth level! I can't wait to hear about that. So let's get right into it. Roll for initiative! Alright! No, I can't! I'm too excited! So let's get right into it. Roll for initiative! All right. No, I can't. I'm too excited.

Let's do this. I did it. I rolled a 15. I'll start with Lork so you can start it from the bottom up. Okay. Five for Lork. Very good. Anybody lower than five?

All right. Who's above 20? 15. No. 22. 23. Roll a... Oh, you added your bonus.

I added my bonus 23 Galabras what'd you say? 15 15 Okay Well I'm gonna tell you right now

For Gormley Baron And Galabras If you make any attacks It will be against their Flat Footed AC

Yay And that being said Gormormley, you're up. Which one is the leader with the gold falchion? He is the one standing next to Baron. Help me. He's got, like, three javelins and a longbow on his back, and he's wielding a gold-tinted falchion. Evil eye, AC.

Evil eye for AC Evil Eye For AC 15 We'll save He saves, and then Gormley will I think she'll do A little cackling She's gonna cackle? Let me see if I can improve my cackle

I can never match the one we got From her family, I'm going to try one. That's pretty good. That's a better effort. All right, you know what? That cackle's no longer fired. We'll call you. Let me ask, is this just for this round and next round?

Or it's just... Two rounds, yeah. So this round, round one and two, right? Yeah, okay And unless you keep cackling Then it'll keep going Alright His, uh Would you say his AC or his save?

AC Alright, so AC minus two AC Delco Okay Alright, Baron Big ol' orc in your face Um Based off of my martial knowledge so far,

it would appear that he only threatens the five feet in front of him. Correct. Okay, so I will take a five-foot step back. All right. And I will pull my pistol out and say, I like your blade, boy. I think it'll look good on my back. And I deadly aim point-blank shot.

That is a straight-up misfire. Oh, come on. Not on this one. Is this your new gun? Yes. Oh, it's a brand-new gun. Just made it. Typical dwarven craftsmanship.

What does that do again? So it basically jams my weapon, and if I decided it's broken, if I decide to fire it again, it would explode. If I misfired again. Did you roll a one? Is that a fumble? Well,

we had a rule where I didn't fumble yet. No, you had to confirm. You get to confirm your fumble. Okay. Ooh, that is a 12 against touch AC. Gets touch. Gets touch. You're okay.

You're okay. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. I know. So my gun is jammed, and next round is a standard action. I can do quick clear. Okay. Or I could potentially use my other pistol if I tough start.

Oh, that's nice to have a second pistol now. But I don't have quick draw. So what is that? That's a move action for me to. Yep. Well, you can do it as part of a move action. Right. So you can move and draw.

But it could provoke. But I also have to put away my other weapon, right? Or drop it on the ground. Or drop it. Right. So you can move and draw. But it could provoke. But I also have to put away my other weapon, right? Or drop it on the ground. Or drop it. Yeah. I mean, it's just a rare artifact found

in the known world. I'm sure you can just throw it on the ground. Your first ever gun that you've made that you've been obsessed about for so long. Oh my god, imagine

if you dropped the gun. Yeah. Like, what if the orcs picked it up? Nope, not gonna happen. Not gonna happen. I'll die first. Galabras.

Troy, don't give yourself ideas. I'm excited. I told you about thinking. Galabras. You see this gun backfire in Baron's hand. Oh, you hear it in the kitchen? Yeah. Oh, wow, I'm really far away.

I am going to cast spiritual armor on myself and then move out of the kitchen and move my full 30 feet as close as I can to... You're 20 feet in heavy armor. Oh. No, no, no. Out of agile feet? Well, no. Because of my domain, I move a full 30 feet. Free to put movement, right?

All right. And what does spiritual armor do? Give you a bonus to your AC? Yeah, yeah. Nice. So it's like mage armor, but it's spiritual. All right. It is the general's turn.

I shouldn't have talked shit. He takes a five-foot step up. Yeah, man. Your mouth is going to get you in trouble one of these days. Takes a five foot step up to him and like starts screaming and takes two swings of his falchion

at Baron. These things crit 18 to 20 with power attack. Minus two. I've got it all written on here. Critical 20 with power attack. Minus two. First attack. I've got it all written on here. Critical threat with a 19. Oh, my God.

To confirm. 13 to confirm. That is a miss. All right. So I'll roll for damage on the first swing. 17 points of damage. Oh, my fucking God. Oh, wow. Second swing.

It's going to be a 19 to hit. Yeah, that hits. 19 points of damage. Whoa. What? 17 points of damage. 36 points of damage? And 19 points of damage for a power attack.

What are you down to? 11 points. And now the orcs board. It would have been much better if I was level five. I can tell you that right now. Well, maybe your next character will be. Too soon? All right, so the orcs board the boat,

and this is going to be such a pain for me. Okay. I'm so sorry. You could just have them have a couple heart attacks and make it easier. Right, one grab. Okay, so they start boarding the boat. Wow. This looks impossible from my perspective,

especially with the ferocity rules that they know how to work. I do not know how we are going to do this. I really don't. It really does feel like he decided to kill us. And Lork's not even there. Let me ask a very important question. Yes. Where's the crew?

They're vomiting on their shoes downstairs. It's two days after that happened. Oh, yeah. It's two days. It is two days after that happened. But they're... They're not coming. They're cowering under there.

They just hear... All right. So all the orcs board the ship and that's their action this turn. Boarding under there. They just hear... All right, so all the orcs board the ship, and that's their action this turn, boarding the ship. Lork. You tell me. How far...

How can I get on deck? It's 10 feet up the ladder. So count that 10 feet against... And then you've got the rest of your movement. Okay, so... ladder so count that 10 feet against and then you've got the rest of your movement uh okay so 10 feet up the ladder i so i'm assuming in a double move i can get up yeah how many uh i can move 20 feet around you have 20 feet yeah you can move to the i mean i wasn't rowing next to the ladder no you yeah but you were walking back and forth barking orders oh. Oh, okay. I wasn't physically doing the wrong thing. You've got to imagine when you heard the thunk

of it being held into place, you were like, what the hell is that? So you've got ten feet to come up, and then you've got ten feet to move on the deck. It's not double. That's not you. I picked another orcist. Once again, the racism. Okay, then I will come.

There's an orc who climbed on deck and was right at the top of the stairs, so I'll just come around and I will... Benverine and I will attack. Yeah, both you guys fucking kill him! Yep. So, we're your biggest fans! Alright, Lork

is going to start. I was just thinking, you know it's bad when Skid's like This looks impossible Yeah, I always think it looks impossible Skid's played a lot of D&D This is bad, bad, bad Yeah, this is, uh, yeah Alright, so first thing I'm going to do is Lork's going to do a power attack at this guy

16 to hit There we go, baby There we go 15 points of damage 15 points of damage. Oh, that's nice. 15 points of damage? That's very nice. 15 damage.

And then. Okay. Below zero. Yeah, well below zero. And then. Almost at his negative count. Ben Vereen will bite. And miss.

So he moved. Yeah, so Ben Vereen moved up as well and bit and missed. So you swim with your flat falchion? That was only a five-foot. Oh, but he was down there with you. So you just, like, rake him across the chest, and you're covered in his blood. Yeah.

And he is enacted ferocity. Round two. Gormley, what do you do? Gormley's going to cast web. Oh! There's a lot of rigging, Troy. I don't want to hear any shit about what are you attaching? I'm attaching it to the mass.

So I can cast it elsewhere, and it will spin out to a 20-foot radius. It will stick to the mass that I'm currently on, up on my crow's nest, and the wall of the ship. So it should get all those guys. Right here to here? Yeah, and in a 20 foot radius. So it should get three of those guys. Well, it won't go through the mast and like the whole boat, right? It'll just be one side

of the boat. Yes, basically. And you've got the stables here and everything. So really it's gonna you're looking at trapping these four orcs. Basically, yeah. Okay? And that'll be the web, we'll say. Oh, that's great. That is great. Troy is outlining four orcs that will be caught in the web's area of effect. Okay, so this is going to be a reflex save for each orc.

Yeah, it should be DC 15. I've got a headache just thinking about this. I feel bad for Troy, honestly. I never do, ever, about anything. But I do kind of feel bad for him right now. All right. Orc number four

is going to roll his reflex in. My eyes are plugging out of my head. DC 15. DC 15. I'll give you a heads up. Their reflex is not great. First one fails. Yes!

Second one succeeds. Third one succeeds. Fourth one 15 succeeds However they're still in there They're still in there so the first one is caught And the Four five and six are free So if they

So the one that failed is grappled Okay he's fully grappled He can break free by making a Combat maneuver check or escape artist check As a standard action against the DC of the spell. Anyone moving through the web, so like all of you guys who saved, must make a combat maneuver check or escape artist check as part of their move action. Creatures that fail lose their movement and become grappled in the first square of webbing the engine.

Okay. And Joe just turned the token of that orc upside down in its holder to denote that he is trapped. What a wicked web weaned. So when it's their turn, if these three guys that succeeded want to move out of it, they just have to roll... One combat maneuver or escape artist. And then they can move freely. Yes, but if they fail... With a DC 15?

DC 15. If they fail, they become grappled in the first square they enter. Okay. All right. And then a move action, I'm going to cackle again to extend the evil eye in the first square they enter. Okay. All right. And then a move action. I'm going to cackle again to extend the evil eye on the other guy. On the general. So his AC will remain at minus two until third level at this point.

Excellent battlefield control there. Is there by any chance a lightning storm happening right now? Because I'm just picturing Gormley casting spells sitting on the crow's nest. Like lightning flashing behind her. A little forest gump. I'll give you a little preview. If I were a fifth level, that might be true. Let's live.

Hey, guys. Let's live. Now I want to live. If only Baron would be here to see it. We'll always have the fishing station To remember him by The Baron of Red Heart Memorial Fishing ring

We'll carve that last incident into the railing Of his death Do any of you know Dwarven Runes? Grant is not amused He's not laughing at all Baron, you're up I'm trying to remember I know all of your addresses.

And I know that some of your doors don't work very well. I'm confident that I could do a Sicario-style hit. All of you. Spoiler alert for Sicario. My grandparents are from El Paso So I understand Ciudad Juarez Very well I'm trying to weigh the pros and cons

Straight up jumping into the river And swimming Starting a new life Go slow for something Walking into a tribe And being like I'm an orc No I'm trying to I'm an orc. No, I'm trying to think about trying to get towards Galabras

so I could get some healing going on or just cowering. Oh, but for, yeah, so let everybody know that the big guy is directly between you and Galabras. Yeah. It's just, like, stressful. I'm at the opposite end of the ship

and, yeah, he's between us. So I'd have to take a crazy evasive maneuver, like an extra couple steps to get away from him. Or you could go full defense and wait for me. You could also full withdraw. Or that. That's what I'm saying. Full withdrawal towards... Ballista? Towards

Lork. Get away from the guys in the web and the big guy. Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna fucking withdraw back towards the rear. Joe just towed his piece into the river. Maybe the best idea. 35, 30, 35. Nice. All right, so Baron full withdraws up to the pilot deck

I can just see this battle going on Like he follows him up there Fighting the pilot deck Meanwhile he's trying to like His gun is still fucked up Oh that's right Yes, you double moved so you weren't able to Quick clear the gun

Galabras Alright Galabras, witnessing what has happened, what is going on here. He's like, ah! Seeing all these orcs, well, many of them trapped in webs, and this larger orc having almost killed Baron, shouts out, Green skin! Face me!

And enacts righteous might, doubling in size, and charges at him. Oh, straight line. So, doubles in size, crashes through the stables. Yeah, I don't think you'll

make it out of charge. Well, no, I'm not charging like Pathfinder charging. I'm just like running. 30 feet. Yeah. Okay, so you're running at him. You can totally charge at him. Oh, yeah, okay. That was double your speed.

You can move double your speed on charge. And Righteous Mind is an immediate action? Yeah. So you just grow right when you get in front of him. This is a question. So if you grow, if he grows that much in size, wouldn't his movement speed increase? I don't think so.

Because you move a little slower. You still only move five feet. You know what I mean? His stride would be double. Until this combat's over, I'm going to let you guys handle all the questions because I have a headache. 16.

16 to hit. 16 to hit. Courtesy of old Gorms. That's a hit. Oh, nice! So you like Barry Bonds him with a hammer. Knock him off the boat. Oh!

Oh! Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,ic. And I also, I'm sorry, I forgot. I wanted to try to do an intimidate check just to get him to focus on me. Okay, I will say he turned around and looked right at you as the hammer crushed him across the chest. I hit him, I literally hit him as hard as I fucking could. I could not have hit him any worse than I did. Did you know that there's a feat for that? There's a feat to, like, taunt. It's called antagonize.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you roll, and I think it's an intimidate check, but it's, again, against their hit dice plus their wisdom modifier. Yeah, and if they fail, they have to attack you. It's pretty cool. Yeah, I saw that. Okay. Well, Galabras, you got your wish, because now he's attacking you.

Oh, wait. I was kidding. No, no. Kill the dwarf. Kill the dwarf. Sorry. And he will continue power attacking. First attack.

Critical threat with another 19. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Rolls to confirm. 23 to confirm. 23 to confirm. He did it. He's a named character. Take your card.

It's just regular straight up Falchion. It's just times two. Right. This is a slashing weapon. Oh. Oh my god. Gut slash. Oh no. Double damage damage 1d4 bleed and the target cannot swallow whole what oh so i can't do my swallow whole attack that i normally do i grab people and shove them

down into my mouth and swallow them well all the food that you cook you can't drown into my mouth and swallow them? Well, all the food that you cook, you can't eat. Oh, well. All that burned popcorn gone to waste. Oh, no. That's a lot of damage. Yeah, that's a lot of damage. 38 points of damage. No. I am at zero.

No. In one hit. Oh, wait. No. I have five hit points left. Damage reduction. Oh, right. But he has two fucking attacks.

Oh, and then 1d4 bleed on Galavris. Next round. That clicks on his turn. On Galavris' turn. Holy shit. Gutslash. Well, yeah. I mean, he's going down anyway. That was his first attack.

Yeah. Fuck. Second attack. Misses with a nine. Oh, my God. I literally just like... I literally. Oh my god. I literally just like I literally shit in my pants. Literally.

Did I use that word right? I didn't want to say anything but I'm glad you mentioned that. I thought that was the stable monkey. I think we gotta take this guy out before anyone else. That might be a good idea. He's just gonna fucking kill us.

Holy shit. I usually don't do power attack because of that minus two to attack. Statistically, you're making a huge mistake. You're a mathematical nincompoop. And you just fucking got it, too. You just got it.

With my armor faith and everything. Okay, so the goofballs in the web. Let's start with the one who is trapped. Okay. So he tries to roll a escape artist or a CMB. I'm sure he doesn't have an escape artist.

So CMB. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. If they fail the reflex save, they're just stuck for one. No, okay, so he's trying to break a grapple, not trying to move out of the web. So it's CMB. Yeah. So he's trying to break a grapple, not trying to move out of the web. So it's CMB. Yeah. And he rolled a 17. He passes.

All right. So he breaks out of it. And then if he wants to move. He starts to roll again. He has to roll again and rolls a 12. He is grappled. So he breaks out of it and goes to move. And it's just trapped again. Trapped again. So he doesn out of it And goes to move And it's just Trapped again

Trapped again So he doesn't move No he does He moves one In the square he moved And then he's trapped again Okay Because I'm just saying

That the web doesn't go over here The web ends here In this rectangle Oh I gotcha So was he in the last space of the web Yeah So I guess then he can move out He breaks out

Yeah Oh by breaking it, he breaks out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, these guys are going to have a lot more trouble because they can't. They have two spaces of web to get through, I guess. Right. Now, I don't think he has, does he have any move speed after that? Yes.

He has a full move. You know, breaking a grapple is a standard action, and then he can move. One, two, three, four, five. Comes up to flank. So now Galabras is flanked by the general and an underling galabras has got bleeding uh you know i'm like i'm about i know galabras is about to die and i just spent all night composing this wonderful little short story about galabras's back backstory let's have like a recurring character from his past come into the game. All for naught. No one will ever see it

except Troy. It's completely meaningless. We can release it in the archive special releases. No, no, no. What you didn't know at the time is that it was an obituary. It was a first paragraph of an obituary. Glarus leaves behind a rich father who didn't love him. It was like a really really

And beautiful well written story too Like I told Skid I'm like you should work for Paizo This is perfectly written Thank you and it meant a lot to me I'm not being sarcastic No no no I'm saying go on Troy Kill him Yeah so go ahead and kill me

Well he doesn't have an action this round Eliminate all that goodwill Who came up to flank. Okay, so the next guy who is... So what I'm calling five, four, and three. Actually, Galabras is large. Isn't he? Right.

Wouldn't that guy have provoked an attack of opportunity? Ah, yes, he would have. Yes, yes, he would have. Yes, he would have, you motherfucker. Can you put a giant square underneath him? And I missed it, you fuck. I rolled a two on the die, and now I'm dead again. Galabras, this guy comes up, flanks Galabras.

Galabras goes to attack an opportunity and misses. The next guy and the guy after him and the guy after that are going to try and move through the web. So the first guy rolls uh and uh 10 so he's trapped he's grappled he's grappled the second the next guy uh 13 grapple also grab the next guy breaks out or he yeah he breaks out well so that's that guy breaks out and he moves freely to... Isn't there a web that he had to move through to get there?

There are more squares. He made his reflex save, so if he rolls the check and succeeds, he can escape the webbing. Well, he's not going to get there without provoking from Lork, so... He either has to stop right at the first base of Lork's... Right, I see what you mean. Okay, and who's this? That's an orc? That's the orc that's the orc that's

down really low that lork hit all right so these guys are all trapped now i'm seeing how difficult it is that i named him lork yeah that's the orc that lork you know the orc is next to the orc with all right so this is uh number three wait wait wait hold on a second okay the guy who broke out of the web cannot attack Lork. He didn't break out. This guy just, he succeeded on his reflex save. So if you succeed on the CMB, that's not an action. That's a free part of the movement. As far as I'm...

He made his reflex save, so his CMB is just to move. Okay. Whereas the other dude had to break out. That's why he couldn't attack. He had to spam an action. So he can still attack. Right. So he's going to swing his falch at Lork

and hits. Almost crits. But definitely hits with a 21. I shouldn't say definitely. Is that a hit? Yeah, that's it. That's a hit. And he hits Lork for 10 points of damage. Oh my god.

Breaks him with the falchion. Okay. And then the next orc also attacks the orc and here it comes. Alright, so this guy steps up, attacks orc. Orc.

I didn't mean to say that. Oh man. Attacks orc. 18 to hit. Hits. Hits? Really? What's your AC?

Two? Fuck. Again, another 10 points of damage. Just falchion. The last orc swings at Benverine. Which one is that? This one? The one that's... Yeah, the one who's seriously damaged.

That one, right? Yes, and hits Ben Vereen. So all you've rolled are hits, right? Well, I mean, you tell me. Is an 18 a hit on Ben Vereen? Yeah. This guy slashes straight down at Ben Vereen, cuts him wide open, 10 points of damage.

That's the sound it makes. And now, it's Lork's turn And that guy takes He bleeds out a little bit more He takes one hit point damage Because he's the one that's already at negative Alright Lork's turn So first he's going to have Ben Vereen go

At the guy who's down really low And he'll do a full attack action So first he'll claw, hit There you go baby There you go really low and he'll do a full attack action. So first he'll claw, hit. Yeah. There you go, baby. There you go. And he'll do one point of damage. Okay. Because he stole that.

Next claw. Fifteen to hit. Fifteen hits. Yes. Next claw does three points of damage. He's getting there. Oh, god fucking damn it. Troy. And then the bite hits.

Bite hits and does two points of damage. All right, he's dead. Wait, I'm sorry. He is absolutely dead because the hit on Ben Vereen put him in a rage. Oh, yeah, he's raging. I forgot. So he did four additional before the bite. So if he didn't have four hit points

before that last attack, Benverine would be able to have a move action. Right, okay, so I was going to just give it to you, but you didn't actually get it, but with that you... Hey, one down! One down. Savaged by a Wolverine. Okay, then Lork

will power attack at the Lork. God damn it! It's very confusing. It's going to be really confusing for any French listeners, too. Especially confusing for them. He will... Lork! Which guy?

So you've got two guys next to you here. Which dude are you going for? The guy closer to the port side or the starboard side? The guy that's directly in front of him, between him and towards Galabras. Fair enough. Okay. Here we go. Power attack.

Bay Bay, 16 to hit. That'll do it. There we go, baby. Power attack in it. Up four. 17 points of damage. Oh, that'll do it. Oh, yeah. Power attack in it. Up. Four. Seventeen points of damage. Oh, that'll do it! Oh, yeah! That'll do it! Outright kills him. Yeah!

Boom! Yeah! Cuts his head off. Lark! You're my favorite. Wow. Alright, now. Oh, boy. A little bit of hope. A little bit of hope. And I'm gonna take a five foot step. Five foot step away. To his starboard. Two orcs down.

A couple more to go. Round three. What's that big one that's going to kill us? Gormley. Gormley's going to cast Ill Omen on the general. Ooh. All right. So that was ill. Might buy us a round.

Okay. Buy us a round to get away. The next D20 roll, he has to roll his disadvantage. All right. Rolls twice. Does he get a save on that? No save. No save. Wow. It's one roll. he has to roll is disadvantage. He rolls twice. Is he going to save? No save. No save.

Wow. It's one roll. Not a round. Just one roll. He does a quick perception check. I rolled two. I took a low.

Just kidding. No. That was really good. Hey, we're having fun. He does a knowledge nature on Gormley. What is this witch? Hey, what happened to me?

I don't know. Well, I'll attack as normal, I guess. And cackle to extend the hex. Cackle to extend the hex. Okay, Gormley just sitting up there cackling, casting webs. So that will now last until round four. Baron. Baron being up a little bit higher and feeling secured in his gun,

will drop his double-barrel pistol and pull out his standard pistol. And he will get up close and deadly with the remaining orc that was attacking in that general cluster. Okay, so that was attacking Lork. Right, so he drops his new gun. Right in front of him. Right. But then he, yeah, overboard.

Overboard. I heard overboard. Why would he chuck it overboard? We can go back and listen to the recording, but I think he said overboard. He's the one who had to find it. He's the one who had to find it. So yeah, Lork was fighting this guy. He took a five foot step at the end of his action.

Opening it up, and Baron. Oh, very smart That is a I'm going to need you to hit 12 against Touch AC That's a hit Oh my god This is really stressful

I'm like so stressed I'm sweating profusely That is fucking 16 points of dead oh but he gets his grip point back right you definitely get your grip point back nice oh yeah shot him right in the fucking orbital socket man you know sweet the hardest part about

this is that I really want to be able to do something to help Galabras and yeah oh please don't we all. You have to kill what's right in front of you first. All right. Just do you. We'll heal him. First thing, Galabras takes a 1d4 bleed damage.

Yep. And I rolled a 2, so Galabras takes two more hit points damage. Hey, I have a question. Does damage reduction come in? Did you perhaps forget Halrex? Is she not involved in the combat? I did not. She's not involved in the combat. Let me ask you this. Now, bleed is done, right?

Or does it bleed every round? It keeps going until I get... Until you do a heal check, usually. Healed magically or a heal check on you. And it's at the start of your turn you take the damage. Okay, so two more points of bleed and it is now Galabras' turn.

He's in the second round of five of Giant Galabras, surrounded by a powerful enemy and a minion. An enemy that's doling out plus 30 damage each round. He goes Super Saiyan. Wow. Holy shit. And you're giant're giant now yeah i'm still giant the general has well has disadvantage for his next role so if you know you should just channel and and just exclude the guy that took 16 points from baron everybody else is not taking any right right right um i mean he's gonna put you, but at least it might not kill you outright.

Yeah. I'm going to, and I don't have my gold-plated dice on me. Such bad luck. I have them, but they're way over there, and I don't want to stop the show. The show must go on, Skip. I'm going to do as Joe said and as I was already thinking, so don't think that he just gave me an idea. Six points.

Does that reach all of us? Yeah, all of us. Yeah. All right, so you excluded him and the one orc. Yeah, everybody else heals, but they didn't take any damage. Right. And I'm going to shrink down. Choo-choo-cho, choo, choo.

And take a five-foot step back. Okay, you shrunk down and took a five-foot step away from the general. Yeah. Putting yourself right next to the orc that escaped the web and came up to you. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Remember when Galabras said, attack me, to that guy? I figured he would.

Yeah. Drama on the high river. You know, he's going to attack, he's going to take a five-foot step and attack Galabras. Power attack. Roll twice. Roll twice God bless you Is this every round or just this one? Misses

14 Now The other attack 20 That's a miss Yeah with my shield of faith I have my armor He casts out of the first round

That's right Now, the shield of faith Is that an armor bonus? It's a deflection bonus Deflection bonus Alright, so Galabras lives another death So, the hit just gets deflected

Oh, wait a minute He was flanking, so it's a 22 Well, you already said that you rolled No, it's okay That's true No Those are your rules Those are your fucking rules.

Oh, wait a second. These are your rules. This is exactly the situation that he said. This is the exact situation. This is exactly. This is such hypocrisy. It's immediately after. Yeah, no, it's fine.

It's not too bad. 16 points of damage. Okay, I'm dead. Dead dead? No, I'm, what am I at? I'm seven points below zero. Breaking your own rule, just to be clear. I said this, it was a case-by-case scenario.

I am three rounds away from permadeath. Holy shit. And we can't kill this guy in three rounds. Well, we can get a spectral hand up in two, but then Gormley can't do anything else, and there's five other orcs on the deck. Oh my god. Yeah. And they're gonna cut Melira free, and she's gonna do three

attacks around with a bow. I should've just, I should've attacked him. I should've just attacked him. Wait. Although, if I had done that, then I would've been permanently dead. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Joe, if you can, if you can get him, you can attack him and pull the general away from Glabrous by one square,

I can also hop down. I'll hold my action, hop down, and cure light wounds on Glabrous. Put myself in danger, but at least not from the general. All of them move 40. That was like 60 feet. He double moved. He's not attacking. He's just double moving.

All right. Did he provoke? From Lork Master Flex, who's standing right at the base of the stairs. Is Lork gigantic? He's standing at the base of the stairs. He went up the stairs. Oh, I see. It did provoke from Lork. There you go. Beautiful. There you go. Come on, Lork. Oh, this is a power attack because it's

every attack that round. 15. 15 hits? Oh! 15 hits. Alrighty. Kill him. Let's get it. 15 points of damage. Oh, All righty. Kill him. Kill him. Let's get it. 15 points of damage. Oh, jeepers. So considering that, that brings him to the negative, so that would end his

movement right there. Yeah. Well, it depends on how you want to play that. It's an odd rule. It's a very questionable situation. Right, right. Because he can only now move or act but no i think he should be able to move because he was in the middle of that action finishes his action and get feather fall down and get to him yeah but now next round he can only move or act

right he gets up right up he runs across what do you have the deck up to the pilot deck right next to baron okay either way though the issue the issue isn't that... The issue is I'd be dead in one hit with that guy. That guy's... Oh, he is right there. I rolled for the escape artists, the two that were trapped, and I rolled a one and a one. Yeah!

So they remain grappled. Gormley, I can't even tell you how huge that was. By Gormley, I mean Matthew. He's sort of loose. This guy, five foot steps up to Lork. And is done. Loses a hit point. For a five foot step? Yeah, maybe not, but I know he can't attack, because he's staggered.

Okay, so a five foot step is the move action, and that's enough to frame nine one. Alright, so he is at minus, he loses a hit point, and that's his turn. Alright. And, and that's his turn. All right. And I think that's all my orcs. Yes, because one and two are dead. Deadsville.

Come on, Benverine. Oh, he's raging. He's so furious. Benverine is going to save us all. I can feel it. It's his destiny. It actually could be the difference. It's incredible. Yeah. It's his destiny. It actually could be the difference. It's incredible.

Yeah. That's incredible. Skip Stevenson. Okay. Just at this moment. Oh, God. Gajnak climbs back onto deck. What the fuck?

You motherfucking traitorous cook fucking bitch. I knew this. Climbs onto deck. He's going to take Melira. And goes to get Melira and starts to help untie her. For two days without a boat, he's been exactly tracking the boat. You know what? I'm not even going to bother. He's like Gollum.

It's just such a fantasy world at this point. It's ridiculous. I wanted to track him just for the record. So did I. All right, so the last guy, he takes a step up to Lork. Lose the hit point. Lork's turn. Alright. Benvereen will take a five foot step toward him and

Raging will do a full attack action. Raging Wolverine! Raging! He's a Raging Wolverine! Okay, so he will claw natural 19. There you go, baby. And now he's got that bonus damage.

Three points of damage. Second claw of 12. Nope. And the bite, miss. Damn it. Lork is going to... Lork's going to Lork. Yeah, Lork's going to Lork. Did this guy

take damage, or is this the first damage he's taken? The general? No, no, no. The guy right in front of me. He's in the negative? Yeah, he's the one that's in the negative. Yeah, so I'm not going to power attack. I'm going to regular attack. Okay. This guy. Hit. It's like 22. And 10 points

of damage. Kills him outright. There we go, baby. Lork, killing orcs. And then I'm going to I guess prepare for death? Oh no. Start writing a eulogy for Galabras. Alright, I'm going to

take a five foot step toward no, actually I'm going to stay where I am and I'm going to turn to five-foot step toward... No, actually, I'm going to stay where I am, and I'm going to turn to the big guy, you know, seeing Galabras go down, and I'm just going to be like, It's time to go orc to orc. Come at me! He turns his head snarlingly.

That was a really good snarl. That was a good snarl. That was pretty good, huh? I thought we were going to have to do it in post. That was a really good snarl. That was a good snarl. That was pretty good, huh? I thought we were going to have to do it in post. That was impressive. Round four. Gormley, what do you do? All right.

Gormley is going to cast Stabilize on Galabras. So she snaps her fingers. Beautiful. So he won't be bleeding. And then she's going to cackle to extend the hex. But I want to make this an exceptionally nasty cackle. And I want to do it in the direction of Gosnok and roll an intimidate check. Oh!

Yeah, I guess you can do that. Let's hear the cackle if it's extraordinarily nasty. It did not turn out to be extraordinarily nasty. Okay, never mind. I rolled a three. Alright. No problem. The hex still extends. That was very intimidating.

Alright, Baron, you got a dying orc up in your face. Baron actually, before he does anything, clears his throat and says, Spirits of Ghostlight Marsh, Council of Thorn members, please come to my aid in my desperate hour against the orcs that you once drove out of this place. It is your duty-bound honor to help. Nice.

That was good. That was a booming voice. So ten ghosts, druids, come on board? I mean, okay. And attack collapse. All right, we'll say 1d12. That's fine. And attack collapse.

He resumes dying. They all cast bleed on Galapagos. At that point, he takes a five-foot step back. Oh, jeepers. I just realized. Does stabilize heal the bleed? Yeah, it does. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Are you just saying that, or do you know that? No, no, no. It does. It does. Any kind of heal action Magical healing

Yeah It stops bleeding Because I was going to say It's 1d4 bleed Right It would have been 1d4 bleed I don't know if I think it would always be 2

For after your first roll Well that happens on my turn though Right right It would have happened on my turn That would have been enough to kill you Because you only had 3 rounds left That bleed You could have brought up

I mean it's the same It's tough It's this have brought up. I mean, it's the same. It's tough. You know, it's up to you. It's the same as a heal check. Right. So you do a heal check, DC 15 or 20. I think it's 15 to stabilize. Right.

And that stops any bleeding. Right. The nice part about that zero level spell is it automatically does it. You don't have to roll a die. That's what I assumed. And if you did a heal check on a bleed, it's always DC 15 to heal the bleed unless it's like some extremely powerful bleed,

but usually it's DC 15. And that's the whole thing about stabilizing is that's what it is. It's stopping bleeding. Yeah, it's stopping you from bleeding out. Right, that's exactly what it does. Okay. All right.

I smell a We Are Stupid. I'm sure. I can't wait to read it In the guise of my next character Alright No, it's still my turn Baron enjoyed that episode of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman

We talked so much about it Shout out to an earlier conversation Don't tell people we talk about Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman Let's go into detail It's gonna get up close and deadly With this orc Critical threat

With a boogit gun And it was a 20 so it is at least Max damage Let's roll to confirm 20 Against Touch AC That's a confirmation. Here we go.

Remember, if it says double damage, it says four normal damage. Are there any adjacent targets to him that my critical could... The guy directly next to you, all by himself? Okay. You? This is called

finned arm. Double damage, which is... Times four. Times four. On one arm cannot move. DC20 or heal check to be freed. I'll let you roll the damage. Yeah, I don't think we'll have to do that, Matt.

I think you can blow his face off. That is 39 damage. You obliterate him. Pop. I like blew his arm off of the shoulder. Oh my god. And as a critical, I get my grip point back as well. Yeah, nice.

You shoot him with enough force that pieces of him fly off of the boat. They do damage to Lurk. I was picturing that. Just boom. Pieces of meat and bone just flying out all over the place. The force of the blow was so strong that your other gun blew off the bone as well.

The concussive force? The shockwave, if you will? Sorry, you dropped it. Grant is so mad. Would you like to hear the text of Stabilize? If it only corroborates our thing.

If it corroborates, you don't need to read it. It corroborates. It does corroborate. Good, thank you. I was going to play nerdage and everything. Sorry, everybody. But, Jeebus, if you had just read that it didn't, I'd have to roll that to you for now.

And if anything... Permanently! Not only is he stabilized, but as he's only unconscious, he actually, every hour, gets a check, a constitution check to see if he wakes up. Oh, good. So let's keep this battle going for another hour. Just for hell of it, I rolled a d4 and I rolled a 4.

That would have been it. Permanent death. Permanent death. And it is Galabras' turn. You are unconscious. Yep. You don't have to roll a fortune save or anything. No, no, no.

I'm stabilized. You're stabilized. So Galabras, you're heal are unconscious. Yep. You don't have to roll a fortune save or anything. No, no, no, I'm stabilized. You're stabilized. So Galabras, your healer, unconscious on the ground. The general comes up. Coup de grace on Galabras. No, I'm just kidding. Oh, no. Stop.

Stop. Stop making jokes like that. That's like as mean as it gets. There are people at home like, oh, just kill him. Just kill him. Yeah, totally. Come on, Troy. Stop being such a bitch. That's like as mean as it gets There are people at home like Just kill him Just kill him Yeah Totally Come on Troy

Stop being such a bitch Alright Stop being scared of angry skin The general Yeah Pussy Oh Oh that was

Oh I wouldn't I wouldn't Oh boy I was playing a character Worse than Kudagrian Galabras The general Takes the bow off his back I was playing a character there. Worse than Kutagraian Galabras, the general takes the bow off his back

and leaves it on the ground next to Melira. Yeah, see, I knew it. I totally knew it. Oh, shit. And then steps up to Mr. Lork. So maybe we should have killed her. I was going to do something nice with her, but now I'm...

Don't attack. Don't think you're attacking. Unless he's got quick draw or something. Oh, because giving the bow is the... That's a move action. He's drawing a weapon. Fair enough. I mean, for a guy who does 18 points of damage, let's make it a little... Right, right, right, right.

Let's hamstring him a little bit. Yeah. So he just moves up to Lork. And it is now all my orcs' turn. All right. So we'll do the two that are trapped in the web. First guy tries to break out, breaks out. Second guy tries to break out.

I rolled a 19 and a 20. So they are both free. And, oh boy. No, that was fun while it lasted. It was a good spell. All right, so just looking at the battlefield here, there's the general, two orcs, Malir and Gajna.

These orcs are now free. They, one of them starts climbing up towards the crow's nest. One of them comes, provokes from Benverine to flank Lork.

Oh, jeez. Oh, well, he provokes from L Vereen to flank Lork. Oh, jeez. Oh, well, he provokes from Lork as well. Moving from... No, no. Oh, gotcha. All right. Come on, Ben. I'll allow it.

He's flanking. Oh, yeah, he's flanking with Ben Vereen. Yeah. It goes Ben Vereen, Ork, Lork. Yeah, it was an 18 without flanking to hit. I'm sorry, 15 without flanking to hit. That's a hit. And so he does four points of damage.

Four points of damage, Benberine. Okay, this guy steps up and goes to attack Lorc. 19 to hit. Hits. Well, nine points of damage. It's getting, like, less and less amusing that this is a TPK. It seriously is a TPK. Is Ben Vereen, is he still raging?

Yeah. I mean, I would think so. He's got five rounds. But one of the targets that he was raging uh yeah well i mean i would think so well he's got five rounds but yeah one of the targets that he was raging us died well i don't think that that really meant i mean i i don't know i haven't read it all but i don't remember it saying anything about it immediately goes into a fatigue when it kills the thing that what's that i mean not all these things are enemies yeah it's pretty good yeah i think that it's just going to keep going apeshit for five rounds. Yeah.

And it's, it's, this is its third round. Yeah. Again, let's credit the Wolverine. Exactly. You know? Hey, I think he's been very effective. The humble Wolverine. He has.

Maybe it's because he learned to tack. You're up. Lork. Lork, you're up, dude. All right. Orc on one side, this badass general who, as far as you know, just murdered Galavris. As far as you know. Yeah. It's not like you're detecting, oh no,

Gormleak has stabilized. You saw him hack, hack, hack, hack Galavris. I am dead on the deck, yeah. Alright, so Ben Vereen is going to attack with a flanking bonus, full attack action. The guy who just came at me and did nine points of damage. So, Claw

is 13 to hit. Hits, exactly. Ooh, alright, that's good, that's good. Oh, Claw hits for five points of damage. Nice. Next Claw hits for for four

points of damage. You're adding rage bonus, right? Yeah. Okay. That's why they're as high as four and five Nine all together And then bites Natty twenty Whoa Whoa

Ben Marine I love you so much Ben Marine Alright Wow Natty twenty We've got some rage It's a named character Well let's see if he confirms

I don't think he confirms Nine Nine to confirm. No confirm, but automatic max damage. Automatic max damage does six points of damage. Ben Vereen kills the orc. Yeah! Yes, Ben! Ben Vereen!

Which means that Lork is no longer flanked, which is huge. Oh, that's huge. That's huge. And now it is Lork's turn. Okay, so Lork is going to say um, well, he's going to say, he's going to say something cool. I know, come on!

So tough to be under the pressure. He just killed your friend! Yeah. He's just going to say, either you die, or I die. And he's going to swing power attack. Don't give him the choice. I'm making the choices here. Let's see.

Power attack. Come on. Critical threat. Get out of here. Get out of here. Fucking threat. Do it. And I say, two can play at the falchion game.

And I'll roll to confirm. Another natural 18 to confirm. Confirm. Confirmed critical on this motherfucker. Here's your card. With a power attack. Come on, please let it be good. Please let it be so good.

Across the eyes. Normal damage and permanently blinds the target. Whoa! Holy shit! Well shit reflex negates but i i don't know what the what the dc is so it's up to you but i cut him across the eyes i'll tell you what the reflex save is uh failed yeah he's fucking cut his eyes out yeah all So it's So it's normal Let me roll the The normal damage real quick Which is

Only a mere 16 points of damage Across his eyeballs Oh 16 Oh what a huge crit mark That was huge And then

All opponents have Total concealment And then Yep And then he's gonna take a He's going to Withdraw From this guy

Alright Not full withdraw You already attacked So he'll just to withdraw from this guy. Not full withdraw, you already attacked, so you just move away from this guy. So that provokes if he wants to swing, but he can't see anything. Well, no, he can't if you have full concealment. There's no attacks opportunity against a target with full concealment. That's what I would think. I would say no attack. How would he even know that Lork moved away?

Right, right, right, right, right. Otherwise, he's going to get a 50% miss chance. Right. At best, he gets 50% miss. You know, I rolled an 11 on the reflex save. 11 total? Yeah. Yeah, that's...

Oh, that's a fail. That'll fail. I was going to say it would be DC 15. Right, but for permablind, I was thinking like DC... You know, it's either DC 10 or DC 15. So permablind is just... But you crit. I mean, that's...

You mean it's super powerful. Yeah. Permablind. Yeah. Where it's so powerful I was thinking like probably DC 10. So I was thinking maybe hemming it in by saying blind for 1d6 rounds. Yeah, I mean you can do something like that if you want but what I'm thinking is like

the other one that we had in this deck was brow cut. You know, where it's like this is like he cut him Crit him Across the eyes That means

You destroyed Both of his eyes It's a really good flavor Yeah It makes sense Alright so you blinded The general Permanently

Be careful The web is between you And that guy Lord Okay Yes Okay Well actually I should ask Where is he climbing What Did he like just pop out Of the web And start climbing up Between you and that guy, Lord. Okay. Yes. Okay. Well, actually, I should ask.

Where is he climbing? What is, did he, did he like just pop out of the web and start climbing up? Because he'd be climbing through web. So he'd have to come around outside. He succeeded on the thing and is climbing. I understand, but like, is he, did he come around, what side did he come around to? He came around to the non-web side. Okay.

And he started. I'm saying it. Yeah, but no saying I understand what you're saying. I just want to know where he is. Right. He's about to be up in your shit. Okay. Round five. Also remember that he's climbing at a quarter speed. Correct. First of all, at the end

of round four, Gajnak fully unties Melira. I was so excited about the crit, I completely forgot that we were going to die anyway. Hands her the bow. Now, you took all of her armor. It is not her magical longbow, as far as you know. She's malnourished.

She's malnourished. Fatigued, obviously. She hasn't been able to sleep. It is definitely not her magic bow. We have her magical longbow. But she now has a bow in her hand. Round five. Maybe the lovers will just, like, try to run and escape. That would now has a bow in her hand. Round five. Maybe the lovers will just, like, try to run and escape. That would be nice. I mean, I was about to burning hands with two of them.

Well, that too. That would work too. Do you have color? No. Not from where you are. It's only 15 feet. I know. I was going to hop down.

Gormley, you're up. Round five. Do it. Do what you want. Oh, my God. Gormley's going to hop down over the side next to glabrous and feather fall down ah but yeah as you come down you see an orc climbing up uh and then burning hands on melira and burning hands melira and gosh so they each get a dc14 reflex save all right

melira obviously makes it with a 28. Oh, including all of her negatives for not sleeping or eating for three days? Or starving, exhausted. A 28? Yeah, all right. All right. I'll allow it. 26. Does 26 make it?

And Gajnak fails. So Gajnak takes the full eight points of damage. Okay. And Malira takes four. All right. How many hit points? We did not leave her very much in the positive, and it's only been a couple days.

Right, she doesn't have a full set of... You also heal hit points over time. Yeah. I will say she does not have her full complement of hit points. It is a weakened Melira, but a weakened Malira is still a bad-ass Malira. Yeah. Baron.

Dives in after his gun. What is that? Is that a move action to pick it up? Yeah, yeah. Okay, so can I shoot at him and fight defensively for a plus two AC bonus? No, I think when you fight defensively

that's your... No, there's a difference between full defense and fight defensively. I think fight defense, so it adds plus two AC, but it minuses two off my shot. Right. Since he's blinded and he already has a minus two to his AC. I don't even know why he would fight defensively. Just go after him. He can't get you. He doesn't even know

where you are. Yeah. Oh, it's more about Malira picks up her bow. Okay, sure. He takes a minus two penalty to AC because he's blinded, right? Yeah. So yeah, that would offset it. So it would be like an even roll anyway. Coralma, you obviously couldn't

cackle, so the hex is off. Yeah. Up close is off. Yeah. Up close and deadly. Okay. So you take a step over from the pilot deck, aim down at his weakened AC, and fire away. Oh, excellent.

21 against touch AC. You hit. Skid, you're such a Grant Rowling super fan. I can see his actual rolls from here. 16 points of damage. Holy shit! You need to get rid of that new gun.

Did I reduce him below zero? No, no, no, no. Not even close. Okay, and it is now Malira's turn. Malira fires at Baron. Of course she does. Three attacks.

Much weakened attacks, but three. But I still fought defensively, correct? Yeah. Okay. Plus two to AC. Okay. Hold on, hold on. One second. Gunslinger's dodge on the ground. Plus. Hold on. Hold on. One second. Gunslinger's dodge on the ground. Plus four to that.

Okay. Can I find a mission? Okay. First attack. This will be tough to hit. Thirteen. Miss. Second attack. Fifteen. Miss. Third attack.

Miss. There attack. Miss. There we go. All right. Boom. Boom. You got to chug a potion. I don't have any. Oh, no.

You don't have any? Oh, no. I used them before. I wish I could. Galabras, still unconscious. Skid left. I think he went to get a sandwich. Hey, guys.

Does anyone else want a sandwich? This is for me from the kitchen. So now, a blinded orc. What does the blinded orc do? Can't see. Hears stuff. Does he feel his way out? I'm asking you guys, what can I do with him?

I don't know. He's going to get his attack. Does he have scent? What do you mean he's going to get his attack. Does he have scent? 50%. What do you mean he's going to get his attack? Well, one way or another, he's going to find somebody to attack unless you all jump overboard. He should attack them fast. Roll perception?

I mean. Yeah, I mean, it's almost like, that's what I was thinking, like perception. He heard a gun go off a second ago. But he had to find the stairs. He's going to climb stairs as a blind person. Right. There's also webbing on one half of the ship that he could wander into. Very true.

I mean, think about this. This also happened like a half second ago. Whatever. Five seconds ago. So he might be a little shaken trying to figure out what to do. Disoriented. It's my thought that he would attack. He would just rush and attack at the first body that he can swing against.

Are you going to roll a random direction? Obviously nothing behind him, but like in that cone where Lork, Benverine, and Baron are? That's what I'm thinking. Well, he's either going to rush at Gormley. He doesn't know she's there. She was in the business. So as he saw, there were Benverine and Lork.

I mean, if anything, he would go straight ahead. Straight ahead. So he's going to, I guess we can roll a D6 to see which direction he's going. Is he going to the sound of the gun, the sound of the badger, or, you know, Mork? And he's going towards Baron. Oh, that's a line. So he starts. That's actually bad for Melira, because now...

How is he going to... Well, he's just... He's fumbling about, fumbling about, and makes it to the top of the stairs, but he doesn't attack. Excellent. And now the orc that was climbing up the crow's nest just...

Spontaneously combusts. Drops, rolls an acrobatics check to avoid damage. the crow's nest. Just spontaneously combust. Drops, rolls an acrobatics check to avoid damage. Well, I was just going to take the d6 falling damage. There you go. Yeah, he just drops like a real orc and takes 1d6 falling damage. It takes 4 points of damage. And because he's already

in the negative, that's his action. Alright. These orcs are not smart. So he's now at negative seven. All right, now there are two more orcs still up, or no? Gajnak and Melira. Gajnak and Melira. Oh, that's it? Yeah.

Oh, you guys have whittled it down. Okay, then it is Lork's turn. Lork is going to charge at Melira. Ah. Ah, nice. We'll charge at Melira. We'll be like, you're not going anywhere. And he'll do a power attack, so it offsets the miss chance.

You've got a good chance of hitting her because she's got no armor. 18 to hit. Yeah, that'll do it. That'll do. Actually, it's a miss. No. Without armor? Without armor, Troy.

Yes. Remember, her AC was incredibly high. Okay? So without her armor and without all that other stuff, her AC went down. During the first round of combat, she cast shield on herself. That gave her another four points of AC. How? When she was tied up?

Tied to the mast? Yeah When she took a full round action to shoot at Baron We gagged her With a gag in her mouth We did all that stuff to stop her from casting spells Oh, you know what? I had wrote that she cast shields

Because that was my plan But I forgot that you guys gagged her I'm sure that has at least verbal Yeah, there's no Also, when was the turn? She shot her first stone She didn't do anything Yeah, for the first couple rounds She just was the turn? She shot her first stone. She didn't do anything until round five. Yeah, for the first couple rounds, she just was standing there.

Right. So we gagged her. We tied her hands up. Right. You know what? I'm giving Baron a bottle cap because I totally had it. I had it. This is like my first bottle cap.

That was my plan. I forgot that you guys gagged her. Otherwise, she was going to cast shield. So yes, Lork, that does hit. All right. I'll get you that bottle cap. Beautiful. And I'll pay.

I want to shout out to my man Baron over there up on the pilot deck. Yeah! DJ Baron. Splash dazzle. Charge attack, 14 points of damage. Whoa! Power attack. And then Ben Vereen is gonna, you know, I'm gonna say, attack this fucking cook!

And he's gonna, not charge, but go at, um, at Gosnok and do a bite attack for 20 to hit. Whoa! Ben Barid! Ben Barid is rolling like a beast right now. And he does five points of damage. Oh, man.

And I think this is... I think this is his fourth round of rage, I believe. Yeah. So he has one more round, and then he's going to be fatigued. Which guy? Who did he attack? Malira? No, Gojnak. Gojnak, okay. And he said five points of damage. Okay.

T. Okay. Round six! Gormley. Gormley's going to whirl around and crouching defensively over Galabras's body, he's going to Burning Hands the orc coming up around the other side. Oh, boy. Ten damage,

but you get a reflex save. What's the DC? Fifteen. Failed. Fourteen. Fourteen. Fourteen. I rolled a thirteen. Yes! So how much damage? Ten points of fire damage. Against the orc? Yeah. Kills him! Yes! Mr. Gromit is like... All the orcs are dead,

save for the general, Gajnak, and Malira. Malira. She's a human. That's true. And it is Baron's turn. Baron, you see the general come running up to you.

His face still burned, and now blood pouring out of his eye sockets. He's just, you know he's going to try and swing at you next round. Baron is going to stand up because he dropped to the ground to avoid Malira's shots. Okay. And he is going to use his last grip point to get up close and deadly against this guy.

All right, so move action to stand up. Luckily, that guy was not on top of you. Or maybe I should double move to get away close and deadly against this guy. All right, so move action to stand up. Luckily, that guy was not on top of you. Or maybe I should, should I double move to get away from him? Hmm. God, that's rough. I mean, that's... Use that grip point. Kill her.

She's been trying to murder you all game. Kill Melira? Oh, I can't kill Melira from here. I'd have to kill him. But I don't know if I can. Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. You want to shoot at him or run away? Run away, yeah.

What would Baron do? But I don't know if I can. Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. You want to shoot at him or run away? Run away, yeah. What would Baron do? God, he'd probably ascend to the heavens and die for all our sins. He's so great. Baron's going to use his last grip point. Oh, Baron! Fumble. Oh, no.

No. Misfired the other gun gun He's going back and forth Should I shoot? Should I run? Should I shoot? Should I run? Should I shoot? Should I run?

All this going back and forth In his head He goes to shoot Misfires Alright roll to confirm the fumble See if it's even worse I hit him It's 20

Okay so Just Misfired Malira's turn. Malira is going to use her point-blank master to shoot at Lork without provoking in melee range. Ladies and gentlemen, Malira. Shall Lork survive? First attack, 22.

Hits I thought she was nerfed The arrow just Seven points of damage Second attack Miss Third attack Miss

Oh, shit Right off his armor She's just using rapid fire with no deadly aim Had she used deadly aim it would be more damage The more damn Galabras damn. Galabras. Still. Galabras. Still unconscious. Galabras fans are going to hate this episode. I would love to participate

in this combat. It's the general's turn. He steps up. Oh yeah, he heard exactly where the gun was. He knows exactly where it is. And we'll try to attack. 50% mischance. Two attacks. I will roll them in front of the team he gets a five foot step and two attacks oh yeah stop it Matthew just checking

just checking five oh wait will a bottle cap account on just one roll or both your rolls one I'm gonna use it for the first attack for the second attack no I'm gonna use it for the first attack for the second attack no i'm gonna use it for the first attack i've got two d20s and a d100 i'm gonna roll them all in front of you uh oh three 14 and three and 47 so total miss and now the second attack 27 17 to hit 27 on the concealment Yes Oh He's got no eyes man Man

Bro ain't got no eyes Bro ain't got no eyes It is now The Oh no All the orcs are dead So it's Lork's turn Well what about

Gojnak Has he gone He goes after Benvarine Oh okay So He has not attacked anyone Gojnak Gojnak

Benvarine is going to continue His last round of raging full attack action at Gajnak. Claw, natural 19. Fucking Benverine is a beast. Literally. He will do three points of damage with that claw. Next claw, 14 to hit. That is a hit. Yeah.

There we go. Five points of damage. Yeah, there you go. The second claw. And then he bites and hits. Are you kidding me? No, he rolled a natural 16 for the bite is five points of damage. But now everything changes for Ben Perrine.

So now he goes into a fatigued condition, which will subtract all his ability to do anything. So he's in rough shape. But Lork is going to continue the push and will attack Melira. Okay. Non-power attack. Okay. Wow. Non-power attack at Melira. Okay. Non-power attack. Okay. Wow.

Do, do, do. Non-power attack at Melira. 17 to hit. Hit. And we'll do... Max damage, 16 points of damage. Oh, shit. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 16 points of damage. Oh, shit. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

16 points of damage. All right. Gajnak. Oh, she's still up. She's still up? Yep. She's rich. Gajnak goes to take a step back,

loses one more hit point, and dies. Yeah! There we go. That fucking cook. Always the cook. It was always the cook. You can see Galabras' incorporeal body floating above, watching it just smile.

Like, I'll show you burnt popcorn in hell, motherfucker. Flipping him off. Roll a will save. Oh. Forgot to do this the first time. Oh, because the thing on her. 14. You're all right.

You're all right. You're all right. All right. All right. All right. Round seven. Gormley, what do you do? Ear piercing scream.

Malera. Yeah, there you go. That's the same thing that took her down last time. All right. Reflex save. She rolls a seven. She failed a reflex save. Right?

No, wait. That's, yeah, I rolled a two on the die. She failed. She failed a reflex save. Is it night of Wilson's death? It's on the die She failed She failed a reflex save Is it Nida Wilson's hit? It's a fortitude It's fortitude Well either way Fail

Six points of damage And she's dazed for one round Yeah Whoa Dazed Can't do anything For one round Nope

For one round Okay Baron This dude's right up in your face Uh So Uh Can Baron still pick up his other gun? this dude's right up in your face. Uh, so, uh, can Baron still pick up his other gun?

Uh, I mean, it's going to provoke. Okay. Um, and it still hasn't been, cause I can't do quick clear without a grid point in my reserves. So I currently have a broken gun.

I could fire again at him and it would be gone forever. If I, or it would be, it would explode. If I did really, uh, if I, if I could fire again at him, and it would be gone forever. Or it would explode if I did. Really? If I fumble. Only if I fumble. Ah, I see.

So I'm going to move 20 feet away, which is as far as I can. That'll still provoke. Even though he can't see? Well, it'll 50% mischain. Oh, we said no provoking for a blind guy. Okay, so you're just going to walk away. That works. I'll allow it.

And with my older pistol, old Bessie, I'm going to shoot at him one more time and hope to God that I do not misfire or else it will explode in my hand. Wait, this is the new gun or the old gun? Old gun. Old gun. Oh, man.

Old Bessie. It's a fucking misfire. Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? Oh, my God Oh, Bessie. It's a fucking misfire. No! Are you kidding me? Oh, my God. Ladies and gentlemen, one of the rarest instruments in the world handed down through generations of the Red Hearts

has exploded in Paris. Oh, my God. A 5% chance. Wow. I actually could have misfired on a 6 if I had rolled it because alchemical cartridges increase your misfire value by one matthew what's the percentage now uh that'd be a 30 percent mischief 30 oh my god you're such a loser i can't believe how fast you did why'd you go play duds the dragons nerd i'm just gonna

go cry in the bathroom so when a gun explodes pick one corner of your square. The explosion creates a burst from that point of origin. Any creature within this burst, including the firearm's wielder, takes damage as if it had been hit by the weapon. But what's the range? It's five feet for a pistol. Okay. So there's nothing within five feet. I get a DC-12 reflex save to halve the damage.

So let me roll this. And this is shooting damage on yourself. So roll the reflex save. I rolled the damage first, which was five. So I get it down to two. With a good reflex. With a different D20, obviously. Yeah.

Oh, shit. You fucking failed. No, no, no. I think I made it. I got a 13th. I made it. Oh. So I only got two points of damage. I got a plus nine reflex. it I only got 2 points of damage Plus 9 reflex

Do you know how to fucking add? I thought it was a 4 I can do the adding for you if you want I always mix up 6s and 4s How's your gun doing? Your family gave you Sticks and stones Grant Sticks and stones, Grant.

Sticks and stones. Too soon? Okay. It is Malira's turn. She's dazed, so she can't do anything. Galabras, still unconscious. I'm calling my name. I'm starting to get ready.

The general just keeps fumbling afterwards. Same thing. Moves towards Baron, but does not Get up to him enough To make an attack Because Lork Is fumbling down the stairs Blinded him Critically blinded him That crit was fucking huge

If we actually survived This guy is a Murder machine Yeah I can't wait To get his fucking falchion I can tell you that right now I thought you were going to ask

For his phone number I can't wait To get his phone number His digits, bro. Yeah, man. All right, that orc is dead. Lork. Malira, standing right in front of you.

Harass her. More accurate. Luke says, you've been in league with them all along, and it has been your end. This are your final moments. Any last words? You killed an innocent man. He was innocent of

nothing! Power attack. What did we say? Natural 18. Critical threat. Whoa! Whoa! Oh my god, I love it with the roleplay! This is why you foul-chained. And I did a power attack so that's 18 to hit.

So that's a confirmed crit, right? That 18 is a confirmed crit, yeah. Yeah, so for the old slash, paper cut, which sounds really lame but is amazing. Normal damage and minus four penalty on attack rolls, skill checks, and ability checks for one D4 round. Oh, my God. Roll the damage. Okay. So roll the damage, which is 13 points of damage.

Okay. Don't worry about rolling the rest because, ladies and gentlemen, Lork has killed Melira. Yeah! She needed it, man. She had it coming. Yeah, she did. That was awesome. Like, last words. She's like, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like coming. Yeah, she did. That was awesome. Like, last words.

She's like, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, now you're dead. Ben Vereen. So lucky. All right. I will, I'll tell Ben Vereen to stay with me because he's fatigued now. Stay with me. For five rounds.

He looks like he's out of sorts. Stay. All right. It is now Gormley's turn. Round eight. I may have lost a round in there somewhere, but I think it's round eight. Gormley. Gormley's going to cure light wounds on Galabras.

Ah. Thank you. Gormley, healing touch on Galabras for how many points? 11 points. Oh, that's going to bring him back to life. Yeah. If not, I was going to have to ransack your body for your wand. Either way.

Baron, you do have that spiked gauntlet. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, thank you. What are you going to do? One, this battle was seven, excuse me, eight if you count Malira, nine if you count Gajnak on five if you count Ben-Burin. Which, I mean, in this combat, you have to. Yeah, Ben Vereen killed like two people. Lethal weapon.

We've got to call animal control on Ben Vereen because he's killed a number of people. Got to put him down. He's a hazard. Does being blinded affect your reflex saves at all? No. No. Probably not. No.

And I did forget when you killed malira uh but she's dead oh we'll see yeah she's dead you killed her so it doesn't matter um so i'm gonna take another five i'm gonna take another uh 10 feet step back and i'm going to um a 10 foot step no i'm gonna move is that a grant thing so away. Now, do you get that as a class thing when you destroy your gun? When you're 6'4". For one round after you've destroyed your parents' gun, you get a 10-foot stab without provoking an attack of opportunity. When you're 6'4 in real life and would murder Brian Poseidon in person,

straight up rip his head off. The second time you've threatened Brian Poseidon. For no reason. No, this is funny. There's enough reason. Yeah. He is going to. We're just you've threatened Brian Brissett. For no reason. No, there's plenty. There's enough reason. Yeah. He is going to. We're just not going to elaborate on them now.

They are 20 years old. He is going to fling his dwarven axe at the general. Oh. And say, from the depths of my heart, my ancestors strike at you. All right, I'll allow it. This is how the old ancestors did it. Little thrown axe. Yeah, little Herman Melville.

Get it. Get it. That is a 17 against regular AC. That is a hit, Baron. Yeah! Nice. Ten points of damage. Oh!

Nice. Ten points of damage. Believe it Nice. Ten points of damage. Believe it or not, he is still in the positive. Please tell me it's, like, stuck in his shoulder or something. Just... All right. Galabras, you awaken. You feel as if 18, 24 seconds has passed.

And you're lying on the ground. All right. I stand up and say, come strike at me. What's been happening? And I cast cure moderate on myself. Ah. Lay hands upon yourself. 15 points of curing to me.

Nice. So along with Gormley's, that's 26 points of healing in a matter of seconds. Oh, man. The general's turn. The general stumbles up 26 points of healing in a matter of seconds. Oh, man. The general's turn. The general stumbles up to the direction of the axe that flew at him. Oh, come on. 50% missed chance. We're all friends here.

Come on. Again, I think it's always fun to roll in front of you guys. So here he comes. Only gets one attack. Miss. 47. Double miss I think I rolled a 47 last time Wow

You'd think this guy was blind or something What are you blind? Can't hit the broad side of a dwarf Lork Come on Lork Finish him Finish the fight Finish him

Lork is going to Casually Stroll By him Into flanking position Since he can't see him He can't be No attacks of opportunity

That's fair Yep And he will say I plan to do a lot better work With that falchion Than you've done And he power attacks And

I think he misses. Well, as AC's lowered 15 with the flanking. 15 with flanking? That's a miss. Damn. That was a good line. Sorry, Lorik. That was a good line.

Shit. Leave the good lines to me. I rolled a natural three. I should have missed. Ben Vereen. Ben Vereen's like, I'll get done what you couldn't do, and he will attack this guy. Because Lorik will be like, oh, Ben Vereen. Benvereen's like, I'll get done what you couldn't do, and he will attack this guy. Because Lork will be like, oh, Benvereen, pick up where I left off.

And he will five-foot step in full attack action, this guy. So he will claw and miss. Claw, natural 17. Hit. Three points of damage. Okay. And bite and hit. Natural 15, which is a 20.

Yeah, that's good. Uh, the bite would do... He's done raging though, right? Four points of damage. Yeah, it's actually, it's not that bad. It's a minus one to hit and minus one to damage. But that's it. All right.

Round nine. Gormley. Gormley's going to step up, basically in line with the general, and is going to go... And vomit a swarm of spiders that charges and occupies the square. That deals automatic damage, right? Automatic damage. Oh, this poor bastard.

So you're ten feet away and just right across from him? Yep. I think he gets an attack on the swarm, but... No, because he sums it in square. Oh, that's right, and he's blind anyway, so he doesn't get an attack. So Gormley vomits spiders on the general. Spiders, they do three damage. Three damage, okay.

And roll a fortitude save. Oh, this guy will have a terrible fortitude. I'm sure as an orc commander. Yeah, I'm sure he's... Fortitude, oh yeah, like 26. 20-something. All right. He could have been poisoned and distracted,

but he's not. I'm distracted by the image of this. See, spiders are just swarming all over his body. Ugh, gross. Gross. He's having a really bad day um baron um is going to

stand behind lork and he is going to uh ready the action of aiding his next attack oh you don't see that every day so you have to be... Oh, okay. So you roll...

No, no, you just roll it this round. Yeah, roll this round. It's AC... Wait, wait, wait. AC 10. But I also think that you have to be... Don't you have to be in melee range to aid? Luckily, I picked up that gauntlet

after that last round of orcs we massacred And this weird genocide that Troy is gleefully having us participate in Across Galarian So I'm just going to kind of swing at him with my gauntlet Distract him and try to aid Joe Alright, so if you hit AC 10 to distract him Joe will get a, Lork will get a plus 2 to hit And I'm going to say

And it's a flanking bonus to your hit okay i'm gonna say a rarely used thing but it's fun take him down lieutenant lork yeah you have to get a new that is a uh i just had to chalk it uh that is a 21 yeah all right lork you get your bonus buddy right. Galabras, you got some juice in you now, bud. It's your turn. What do you do? I am going, I'm going to reload my crossbow as a swift action and take a futile shot at the captain. Minus 70.

Do 16 hit? That's with the minus four? Yep. Does he have any cover? Or it's just in melee range there, yeah. Yeah. 16 hits. Yeah!

What? Galabras, kill this motherfucker. You deserve it. Five points of damage. And he is now in the negative. Yes! Finally. Galabras is back.

Galabras is back! Revenge from beyond the grave! I mean, this is the thing. With him right now blinded, he's still extremely dangerous. No. No, he's not. If he hits. No, he's not.

He's dead is what he is. Let's see. Should we try to grapple him? Nope. No. No, I don't want any information. We're all working together to come at us. It doesn't matter.

We're killing him. We're going to the swamp. Fuck it. First attack. Wrap it up. At who? At whom? You know what?

I'll roll a D6. One through three is Lork. Four through six is Baron. Baron. Fucking course. That was Baron, folks. I rolled a 100 and a hit. No, you rolled a one.

That's a one. Oh, one! Wow. Second attack. Oh, that's a hit 51 Oh 51 Yeah

It's a 51 That's a hit And that is a hit Oh Oh shit After I talked shit What did you roll on the hit? Uh

14 14 On the die Alright so this was Power attack Second attack 19 Just barely.

I hit. Hits Baron for a gentleman's 19 points of damage. Oh my god. What? It's incredible. Good thing that we blinded this guy.

Baron drops to the floor. Baron is unconscious. He's not permanently dead. He's just below zero. Please heal me. Lork, Lork, Lork, you're up, Lork. You've made a terrible mistake. You're flanked, Lork, you're up, Lork. You've made a terrible mistake.

You're flanked, Lork, and you got a plus two. So you got a plus four to this attack. No, he's not flanked because Baron dropped out. But I do get plus two. You do get plus two from Baron's aid another. From Baron's aid another. He distracted him by falling to the floor. All right.

I'm going to do a power attack and try to finally take him out. It's got to be juicy. It does. It has to be. The biggest con i've ever seen minus zero plus four lurk says i hope joe doesn't fuck this up with a terrible roll and he takes a swing oh my god uh 17 that hits that gets yep the one weakness is this guy has a very wait so you wouldn't have hit without that plus two

Fifteen You would not have hit with a fifteen Look at that teamwork Team player Power attack action going on Fourteen points of damage Fourteen points of damage Come on how high is his con

It's more than sixteen Oh fuck Just because it's fun. He has one hit point left. I could have just killed him, but it's Ben Vereen's turn. All right. Can Ben Vereen land the killing blow? Can Ben Vereen land the killing blow?

Five foot step. He's got five, so he's got three tries. I'll tell you right now. If Ben doesn't, the swarm will take him. He's got three tries. Here we go. First attack. 18.

All right. Ben Vereen kills the general Yeah Fucking tears his throat out Climbs up and tears his throat out And you guys didn't die Oh my god I can't

I honestly can't believe we didn't die Someone please stabilize me Please stabilize me Please Please stabilize Barry Five Four I'm still unconscious

Please make me Oh wow that was good i know i often say that i think uh everybody's gonna die but man that really that was pretty rough it was gonna die you know what if we didn't have that crit it's like there it's over i was i 19 points of damage i don't even know what would happen if we hadn't got that crit because 19 points of damage I don't even know what would have happened if we hadn't got that crit because 19 points of damage yeah on a non-crit like one swing

out of two he took two of you guys unconscious and that and one time he did while he was blinded I mean if he had stayed awake and if his orcs had

I mean web was great yeah web was awesome to slow them down but I mean he is an extremely dangerous foe with a low AC but he had 68 hit points and 18 con

18 oh god what a badass uh oof search the body foe with a low AC. But he had 68 hit points and 18 con. 18! Oh, God. What a badass. Oof. Search the body. I was just going to say, I want to look at that fail. It's so bad, but I don't want to, like, you know, there's other important things. Can we heal this guy first? No, I would like to do a heal check on Baron,

or to stabilize him. I think Gormley stabilizes him. I'm going to do it for flavor. Okay. And I fail. Okay. Okay. And I fail. 14. Lork's like,

come and look at Baron. He seems to be Gormley, I think I can take I think I can take care of it. And then he fixes he doesn't do shit but Baron is stabilized

and he's like, I did it! And Gormley's like, yeah, yeah, you did it. Yeah, good job.

Good job. Good job, Lork. Keep working those heal skills. So Lork is going to grab Ben Vereen. I was just going to say, he grabs Ben Vereen, makes sure he's okay, and he thanks him. He's trying to, he gives him some, he just pulls off some of the flesh of the captain and gives it to Ben Vereen.

He's like, you earned it. I have no means of I see you like this more than potatoes. Can you wake me up? I got something to do. Yeah, I will. I'm going to go and just channel. Oh yeah, we could all use that. Nice.

Ten points. Okay, so as soon as he gets up, when you get brought back from zero or unconscious, you act in the rules as if it never happened so he pops up off the ground runs immediately to the point his pistol was at last and picks it up and puts it in fair enough fair enough all right what are you guys doing not to rub it in but it's my point i didn't take a single point of damage in that entire combat yeah that was really well played on your well you know it was just so when that started i was like one of the only things we really have going for us is that gormley is in

the crow's nest like that's so perfect for a caster like it is just it was only became super complicated when when galabras was when your healer died when he went down because then he she had oh and also baron taking 38, 36 points of damage in the first round, that put you in a position where you had to run and then be at range the whole time, which is like obviously you're good at range, but like, yeah, it just made it really dicey. But that web was awesome. I would have loved it if he was actually a giant because I would have been able to go toe-to-toe with him. But because he was just like flavorfully large, medium creature,

he nailed me. Yeah. Nailed me good. Well, you rolled really well in that combat. I mean, I did power attack, and his damage is 2d4 plus 13 power attack. And as much as you fumble, I don't think you fumbled once. No. In that combat.

Nope. I'd like to do a quick perception check to see if I notice any lights in the swamp beyond. Any hints of a will-o-wisp in the distance. 13. You don't see much of anything. It's like looking at soup. It's very eerie. What time of day is it?

It's afternoon but it's dark It's gloomy It's got those Weeping willows over the swamp Spanish moss Spanish moss Can we search the body? Kate Moss Bodies?

Sure, you guys want to search the bodies or should we just do it next week? No, we should search the bodies right now. All right, let's search the bodies. All right. A couple things. Are going to happen. The orcs, the six orcs are all wearing studded leather armor. If that's something that interests you, probably not.

Nope. They each have 12 gold pieces on them, though. Maybe that interests you. Mildly interesting. Go, go on. Getting warmer. And I'm assuming you just throw the body of the general into the water? Yeah, with all his gear.

Okay, cool. All right. So that's seven orcs with 12 gold pieces each? Six. Okay, so the general has something different. Yeah, the general. Did Gosnok in his amazing swim along the river maintain his gold pieces in his pocket? Gosnok is like the biggest loser right now.

He's like svelte he's beautiful he has no beer belly anymore he's just in great shape after following us that um you want to know something about gosh no he was completely innocent completely innocent he was under a spell was he charmed he was uh under some sort of spell that's an amazing spell when molera said you killed him wait wasere. Wait, was it Charm Monster? No. It's called So Thoughts. Whoa, I never heard of that.

I never heard of that. And it's permanent. Oh, wow. It's a permanent spell. So she cast So Thoughts on him, and he acted as if everything he was doing was his idea. But she also seduced him and used that to make her ideas seem was his idea. But she also seduced him and used that to make her ideas seem like his own.

You implant thoughts into someone's head. So S-O-W. Yes, S-O-W. Okay, so she incepted him. Yes. So I give myself this bottle cap? Great. Okay, thanks.

That's pretty incredible, man. Yeah. I've never heard of that spell. I haven't either. And the thing is, our characters don't know that. So he will heard of that spell. Yeah. I haven't either. And the thing is, like, our characters don't know that. So, like, he will have died a traitor. Yeah, he dies a traitor. Which is so sad, you know?

And she's dead, too. There's no way to know that. This legacy is that of a traitor. It'll be carved into the railing for all eternity. And just to pull back the curtain a little bit more, she cast it on Gorja. The cook? The cook.

While she was tied up, she cast it on him. Oh, because she didn't care if he poisoned himself. Right. No shit. For him? Well, now that she's dead, the spell is broken. So we should have... Oh man, I should have gagged her from the get-go.

That was so smart, though, because she would have cast shield and been a lot harder to hit. I totally forgot that she couldn't do that. Very, very smart. So at a certain point, I'd like to do some sort of knowledge check as to how we should deal with the remains of dead bodies this close to something this spiritual and already filled with undead lights. I don't think we have to worry about that. Alright. Okay. You want to search the general? Yeah, I want to see that. I want to

grab that falchion. You find two potions of cure light wounds. You find a masterwork chain shirt. Ooh, another one. Not Mithril, though. A falchion, a belt, You find a masterwork chain shirt. Ooh, another one. Not Myth Roller. A falchion. A belt.

Ah. That Galabras and Gormley detect to be magical. Ooh. 21 gold pieces. And a note. Ooh, an actual note! It's an actual physical note that Tori has produced. Grant never gets one. Give it to Grant. Grant, you get a physical note. What actual note? It's an actual physical note that Troy has produced. Grant never gets one.

Give it to Grant. Grant. I got a physical note. He's preparing for his speech. Boys gather round. Is that in the note? Boys gather round. This guy knows how to fucking ruin a special moment.

Tark, Screed has been murdered and I seek revenge on his killers. Help me with this and I will give you Screed's alchemical formula for the bomb that soothes your burns. I've learned that his killers are traveling to Ghostlight Marsh by riverboat. Don't worry. There is no need for you to set foot in the swamp. There is a marker on the northern bank of the Esk. Look for a stone carved with the circle

of thorns. That is where Screed's killers will dock. Board the boat and unleash your fury upon them. With luck, I will be on board as well and we'll join you together we shall avenge screed do this and the formula is yours xo xo malira this guy had a lot of friends and you also find a gel on his person. And Baron, you detect from your alchemical knowledge. Save you the roll.

It's a fire ward gel. So he had this gel that he was using to soothe his burns. He just felt total pain all the time. Yeah. So he's like a Bane character. Yeah. Roll a spellcraft on the belt. 13. Galabras, you want to give it a shot? Oh, shit. Nice. On the belt. Thirteen.

Galabras, you want to give it a shot? Oh, shit. Nice. Eighteen. Okay. Four things are going to happen. One, the falchion. It's just a regular old falchion.

Oh, goddammit. Painted in gold. Two, the belt is a belt of incredible dexterity plus two. It's just a regular old pouch Painted in gold Two The belt is a belt of incredible Dexterity plus two Oh yes Three You're all fifth level

Four We'll see you next week Oh man Alright I'll allow the end of that one Thanks Thanks Troy Oh, man. All right, I'll allow the end of that one. Thanks. Thanks, Troy. Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Outro Music