The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 48 - Honk If You're Thorny

Episode Date: April 26, 2016

Our heroes step through the stone portal into the mysteriously lush and beautiful Vault of Thorns, but they soon find its vines and sweet smelling blossoms conceal an insidious evil! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. Wait, we record this? Beaten into submission. Alright, we bow down before your superior monsters. That's all I ask. Yes. Thank you for hurting me. The heroes arrive at the mysterious Vault of Thorns.

In a vibrant forest filled with thick, verdant plant life all around you. There is magic in the air. That's like how I feel whenever I go to Epcot Center. I guess it would be too much to ask. It's just all the weapons and treasure stuff would be sitting there waiting for us, right? With their intentions semi-noble. We seek peace.

Peace through immense amounts of violence, but peace in the end. They proceed with the utmost respect. Suck my thorns. But an unseen danger lies in wait. Who wants to roll the fortitude save? Oh my god.

The adventure continues now. Hey everybody, it is me, Skid, the arguably nerdiest and certainly angriest of the glass cannon crew welcome to episode 48 of the glass cannon podcast you know our listenership has been growing uh steadily but especially lately actually we've been growing in popularity in uh the small european nation of slovenia and if you're like me you may be thinking wait a minute isn't that the country that dr doom was from in the fantastic four comics no you ignorant buffoon that is a real country in real europe declared independence from the nation of yugoslavia 1990 and they are very real and apparently some of them like us.

So, we want to say a hearty hvala, thank you, to the people of Slovenia. And dobrodošli, welcome to the show. And also oprostite, sorry for my pronunciation of your beautiful language. Additionally, we've been getting a lot of really cool, really creative submissions from some of the listeners. We've been getting some neat drawings, some Photoshop, some T-shirt ideas. Evan and Amanda Yesik didn't submit anything, but she really wanted me to mention Evan on the podcast at some point. And so I've finally done that uh but uh in particular we got a couple of weeks ago uh from our listener dylan jones at zombie dance prod on twitter sent us this really kick-ass heavy metal cover version of our theme songs we're going to listen to that in just a second as we head into episode 48, in which our party finally breaches the mysterious Vault of Thorns.

So sit back and enjoy some kick-ass metal and our newest episode, Honk If You're Thorny. What was it, episode 30 you first heard about the Vault of Thorns? 30? 29? 30. 30. I don't know Thorns? 30, 29? 30. 30. I don't know. I don't listen to the podcast. I don't know. I'm not a fan of this podcast you speak of.

Not a big fan. Wait, you record this? Yeah, I think it was episode 30. Now, 18 episodes later, unless we lose one in the middle, later, unless we lose one in the middle, you guys have entered the druidic demiplane known only as the

Vault of Thorns. Let me tell you what you see. First of all, couple of crazy combats there. Everybody feeling okay? I think there was a false sense of bravado after beating the Hydra. Ha ha ha! Troy and your your uh go slide marsh

but then things got a little more tricky all right we bow down before your superior monsters that's all i ask yes yeah thank you for hurting me you're welcome thank you sir yes please sir may i have another sir uh no but but where is everyone headspace at-wise? Let's talk about character headspace. Some of you have faced certain death now in the past couple days. Certain death. Where is everybody's headspace as you enter a druidic demiplane? I'm sure this is something Lorik loves to do, enter magical demiplanes.

Well, he's definitely freaked out but he's also he's you know definitely eyes on the target like he is here from what he's whatever you said episode 30 like he is here to get shit to kill giants like he's like i'll go through anything if it's going to give me an awesome fashion to kill a giant like he just wants the means to hunt these guys down and kill them and uh seeing silvermane explain the like just the magicalness of the whole area he was like there must be some powerful shit in here and so he's pretty pumped but he's also you know very wary because he constantly almost dies every single day which weighs on you you know psychologically not to mention his his companion who he's grown quite

affectionate of in the past yeah and i love this i mean the that trick bolster companion has come up huge huge so big so i've just been like you know ben watch out you know what i mean and he's like it's saving him which is pretty now i wonder if some if your uh sort of efforts in protecting ben's life is going to get you killed it might and it makes sense you lost your son right and that's that's why i took the trick because i was like i want to protect as much as i can and it could mean your own death yeah well my life doesn't matter let's buy a ben a a little bicycle helmet that he can wear around all the time. Oh, that'd be cute. Maybe he'll be in the Vault of Thorns.

Yeah, that's one of the items, maybe. Lorca's like a helicopter parent. He's like a traumatized helicopter parent. Ben, be careful. Watch. And Baron, you've met this dwarf. You've softened a lot, obviously, since you met the True Now Four here. And now seeing a member of a similar tribe to yours, that's got to be jarring too.

Well, it at least lets me know that no matter how far you are into the darkness, it at least lets me know that no matter how far you are into the darkness, there are still those who would want to stop the forces of darkness from continuing their encroachment into civilized lands, which is kind of the entire raison d'etre for, for dwarves to push orcs and kill them and send them back down to the ground. And he's a God fearing man. He believes in the Dwarven gods, and he knows that their hammers and might

gave us the power that we had to be as industrious as we are. And even though this demiplane is not of a Dwarven origin, he knows that the gods and whatever kind of magic they're in have power that we can wield to drive the forces of darkness back. And don't forget that Baron or one of you has in their possession that geode that was found in the skeleton of Usgroth that you did knowledge geography. Yeah, Lork did a knowledge geography.

I kind of assumed that he was carrying it. And determined that it was some sort of topography of the Mindspin Mountains. So, you know, and that, talk about dwarves, I mean, there's ancient dwarven shit going on in the Mindspin Mountains. So, how is this all connected?

Then you run into another dwarf who's looking for her ancient relative. So, this really hits home. And even things like Rag saying, you know, I was a gladiator in Urgir, which used to be a sky citadel of the dwarves, which fell. Right.

So it just keeps on being brought back to that ancient conflict. And now Gorms, this is, you've always been one for loving chaos, and now you're in a demiplane. I don't know if you've ever experimented in this realm before. I don't think so.

I think Gorm is pretty pumped, though. I think any place that's not true now already has some appeal. And to go in this crazy adventure and end up in some other realm is just right up her alley. I picture her with a reporter's notebook, just kind of like this. All right. Sketching, sketching into the fauna.

And Galab, speaking of a God-fearing man, the power of Desna has kept you alive thus far. Some close calls on the boat. Yeah. But now you are entering a druidic haven. Yeah. Well,

there's a couple of things. I mean, Galabras is definitely, I mean, he's still frightened but he's very excited just to see something this strange i mean that's one of the things that motivated him initially to even leave home was the uh wanderlust when you travel and see something like this is exciting and you know just a couple of days ago like he literally had his belly sliced open and his innards like spilling out over the deck and it's a couple of times that he's like almost died um but he's been brought back and you know i make me think it's like is he traumatized by that like is

it or is it like we had a uh we're running playing a um a supernatural western rpg years ago with my old roommate jay stratton uh was running and we had a character in that game who was uh kind of a crazy gunslinger uh with a stutter and he kept getting brought back to life and i remember like one session like someone was threatening him. And this guy, he had his gun. He says, hey, you can shoot me if you want. But I've been killed three times, and I ain't died yet. I wonder if that's a source of courage.

It's like, I have faced death, and it hasn't gotten the better of me yet. All of us. I don't know. Right, and now you're in the Vault of Thorns, and all you know is, like, there were druids. This used to be their place, and they sacrificed themselves to drive out the orcs because nothing else was working.

But Silvermane says there is a cache of weapons or something, magic. Items. Items that can help you, specifically in your fight weapons or something, magic. Items. Items that can help you specifically in your fight against orcs that this ancient circle of druids was holding somewhere in here. But that's all you really know. I mean, Mossmoon told you there's other things there that we were living in harmony with or whatever,

but now you're in there. Do you want to know what it looks like? Yes, please. Yeah, why not? I was going to give you the flavor text last last time but i'm like let's make them wait so you touched the central men here uh after i forced a trap upon you uh you then bathed it in light touched it galabras was the first one in felt this tug this tugging, bombarded with images of just, you know, vines everywhere, a very lush, full of flora and fauna, and his nose just loaded with floral fragrances. And boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, all of you go through this, and you end up on the other side.

Behind you is the same exact men here. Still uncovered of vegetation, faintly glowing and olive-hued. It stands alone in a clearing, in a vibrant forest filled with thick, verdant plant life all around you. Like five, ten feet on either side of you is thick, thick, thick, thick plant life that you don't even think you can walk into. It's so thick. The flower, although not covered in vegetation, is draped with exotic flowers,

which are pulsing with brilliant chartreuse light. There's a path before you lined with rose petals, which leads from the monolith to a giant floral bloom carved from wood up ahead of you. And looking at the map, it's not that far away. 30 feet, maybe. There are two carved wooden stamens. Stamens? Stamens.

Stymens. Hymens. They are sexual reproductive. Yeah, right. You're right there. Those are shooting out from the wooden flower, just sort of adorning the room, completing the motif of this flower opening.

And beyond these carvings, there is a set of ornate doors carved into this giant wooden flower. So imagine, behind you is the monolith, and there's rose petals, and these stamens coming out from a giant wooden carved flower opening up with ornate doors pressed inside of it. I wish I was a druid right now. There's an overpowering fragrance

of flowers and sweet grass permeating the air. You look above you and the sun sits at its zenith, basking the area in light and warmth. Nice. As Mossmoon said, this is a living dungeon. So the floor is earth.

It's dirt below you. And the walls and ceilings, for lack of a better word, are just constructed of, like, an intertwined mass of living vegetation. So flowers will bloom and recede and everything is kind of, it always looks like it's a constant movement. The ceilings in this room are eight feet high. Sorry, Galabras.

Oh, man. He's not sorry. You see the flower door at the end is covered in branches blocking the door. And there appears to be some sort of writing above the door. Sorry, I need a second. I thought you said there's an eight foot ceiling, but the sun is out at its zenith. What am I confused? I thought we were outside's an eight-foot ceiling, but the sun is out at its zenith? Am I confused? I thought we were outside.

You are outside, but I'm saying like— In the doors? The living vegetation, it should be clear, is forming the ceiling and the walls. But we can see through it to the sun. You can see through it, and the sun is just bathing the area in warm light. Okay. Yeah, so— So I look at the writing. It's like a greenhouse. And I expect it to say, welcome to the Georgia O' warm light. Okay. Yeah, so... So I look at the writing.

It's like a greenhouse. And I expect it to say, welcome to the Georgia O'Keeffe Museum. So bad, Joe. It does not say that. It is in a language that I would assume none of you speak. Arabic?

I think Gormley speaks Arabic. Let me check. Check your character sheet. Check your character sheet. Check your character sheet. I would assume none of you speak it. Someone do a linguistics check? I wish someone knew tongues. Oh, wait, that doesn't work for written.

I don't think so. We need read language. Also, I don't have it prepared. Comprehend language. Can I ask one question? Yes. What color is chartreuse? I think it's like a yellow-green.

You're right. I was testing you. Beautiful. I get a bottle cap. I walk over to one of the flowers. Okay. Be very clear with me what you're doing. So Galabros is up front as the first man in.

There are flowers surrounding us, right? Right. Yeah. So the way I've drawn this, these stamens, you can walk on either side of the stamens. But as you can see, and listeners, there's not a ton of room. 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, about 40 feet wide, but it's a triangular shape. The point being the monolith widening out to the floral door. So you want to go touch some of the flowers?

Just one flower. I actually want to pluck one. I guess this is going to ingrahild fuck okay wait is the is the language druidic uh it is i do speak druid you do all right i wait for this get out of here read it i do it's right fucking here i'm a sheep awesome um i was gonna ask it i didn't want you guys go all right tell me every language you know well i was gonna ask if it's druidic but i was like why would i even know yeah the language if you can't recognize it i you can recognize that i was studying it in true now because i knew what we were coming oh that's

right when you were at the library and gorley was creeping around in the stacks yeah yeah you were learning i didn't realize it was its own language yeah yeah they have their own like kind of thieves can't um so yeah so you actually took a point in linguistics i did that's great right right uh let me resolve baron's flower thing and then i'm going to tell you what it says i don't know if i would have uh baron roll three fortitude checks no i'm kidding uh we're having fun uh so nervous this flower is gonna kill me so you. So you pluck a flower off the wall. I just want to put it on my lapel.

Within like 30 seconds, a new flower blooms in its place. Wow. Cool. Does the flower he took die instantly? It burns his hand off.

No. You have one hand. You have one hand. It gives you chlamydia. Flowers often do. You all feel really energized. Yeah. And more alive than you have ever felt in your life,

including when you were a child. There is magic in the air. You don't feel, you just ragedaged recently right yeah and now you were obviously out of the fatigue yeah but let's say for flavor's sake like you still felt like kind of beat tired i got hit down to three points left yeah so i was pretty beat up you don't feel tired in the least in fact you feel like you never have to sleep again you all feel like you never need oh nice try sure we're still going to rest. This is awesome.

That's great. This is like how I feel whenever I go to Epcot Center. Before you walked in here, I'm sure some of you were in various states of hunger or maybe thirst. You've had rations and whatnot, and you've brought whatever, but I'm sure you guys didn't have a ton of stuff on you to stay hungry. None of you feel hungry in the least.

None of you feel thirsty. You are wide awake and just feel full. There is a magical presence happening here. And Skid, I will tell you, and this will affect Gormley as well, if you cast any healing spells, remind me to tell you something. All right.

Does that apply to channels? Noted. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? It has to be spells of the healing sub-school. So it's not channeling. It is a good thing. Then I will remind you. Okay.

In that case. Classic skid. Above the doors. So Baron, you've gone over to pluck a flower from the wall. Galabras moves up and reads, in druidic. What does it say, Galabras? If you seek peace in nature welcome if you seek anything else

beware the wrath of the vault of thorns we seek peace peace through immense amounts of violence but peace in the end peace ultimately peace through the other instruction of all of our enemies there's a reason it's called pacification you get to peace Pax um Pax Galapagos

in front of you there's just branches in front of the door you know I'm trying to think about how Lurk would would deal with this

I mean I think that he he's an urban kid he's only ever been in cities or forts and when he was working on the Storval Plateau and the Mindspin Mountains it's just shitty He's an urban kid. He's only ever been in cities or forts. And when he was working on the Storval Plateau and the Mindspin Mountains, it's just shitty. You know, it's just like rock, bare.

He's had a pretty rough life. So, like, I wonder how he would react to this. He doesn't really know anything about the beauties of nature. I couldn't imagine. Baron elbows Lork in the side and says feels kind of elvish doesn't it yes it does elvish Presley oh I'm a

hunk a hunk a burning talking I like kind of gently reach my hand out to touch the door and you touch the door. You touch the door, roll a perception check. 20.

You see the branches are made of ironwood. That is awesome. As you touch the branches, they all slowly begin to recede. But, Baron, Gormley, Lork, Benverine, all need to roll a perception check. Do you really want Benverine to roll a perception check? No, not Benverine.

I don't know why I said that. 24. 15 for Gormley. Oh, my God. Do you really want Benvry to roll for second? No, not Benvry, I don't know why I said that 24 15 for Gormley Oh my god, I'm always one step behind Baron 23 Every time You'd think with those long legs you'd be ahead of me I know

All of you failed Oh, good As all of a sudden, 23 You see in the brambles along the floor living uh you know on this in this living dungeon they're just like two things come flying out at you what that look like this what the hell it's just like a mass of twigs and vegetation all wrapped up is that from the lion king on broadway that's what it looks like it is the tumbler is julie taymor doing the monster wrapped up. Is that from The Lion King on Broadway? Be sure to check out the Tumblr. Is Julie Taymor doing the monster design?

The best way you can describe it, it's a twig man. It's like a Grig or something. And yet again, I know I get made fun of that my monsters always get surprise rounds. Yeah. But with a plus 22 to stealth and a roll in the double digits, you all failed. Surprise round. Roll initiative!

I just thought it felt so nice. We all felt good. Everything was happy. Beware the wrath of the Vault of Thorns, Joe. So wait, if these things are natural and they're attacking us and we're going to kill them, does that mean that it's already against us? Oh, fuck that.

Yeah. I just feel like I feel like I personally want to be like, I won't hurt nature. Give me... Try one round to, like, be diplomatic and not attack him. But I think that Lork would be like, Fuck this!

Like, swing at whatever's swinging at him. This is an interesting pull and tug between your character and your class. What is happening? What the hell's going on Troy's getting new minis that's a sound of the twig man hey I had the minis I just didn't have the pause oh they're they're small things, they're tidy little creatures. Oh, look at them. Oh, it's adorable. They're so cute.

Well, I really regret picking that flower. I guess I got to change the music from nice music to mean, angry music. All right. The little twig men come running out. Who got over 20? Oh, man, that's never good when they have a surprise round. All right, who got above 15? Gormley? Nope. Gorms! 15

Gorms! 15 for, oh man This is a backwards combat. Yeah. Galabras has The highest niche. Baron? 12. Gorms? 13 Okay. Loric? 3? 4? 7. 7 New song. I like it All right

Then. Shaking it. All right then. Shaking it up a little. It's going to stink, but at least it's something different. They got the highest initiative, so they go twice. First guy appears next to Baron. A twig man. Twig man, flat-footed AC. It just goes to stick you with its spear.

Stick a stick? Stick a stick, stick a stick, stick. With iron wood? Stick! That's cool. And it misses! Yes. Second guy tries to do the same thing

with Lork, sneak attack. Eight. Miss. Yeah, that's a miss. Okay, now it is time for their... For a breakdown. Now it's time for a breakdown. Now it's time for their normal attacks.

These guys suck. It's still flat-footed. Yep, still flat-footed. So same thing. First one to Baron. Cracked eye. Miss. Next one to Lork.

Miss. They're cute. Seems pretty easy, right? Galabras. I'm just, this is a desperate gambit. Just throw up my hands and say, stop, creatures of nature, we mean you no harm. We come in peace

i love it i love it do you say it in druidic yes in druidic yeah um okay gorms is the is that a standard action he's not gonna do anything else. Yeah, that's, yeah. And then I attack. I can't do that. That's why I don't play a cleric, guys. Why play a gunslinger? If it moves, shoot.

Do I observe any effect from what the library says? You do not. Can I do a knowledge of nature on these says? You do not. Can I do a knowledge nature on these guys? You may. Beautiful. Fae? Is Fae nature? It should be.

It really should be. Yeah, this should be a knowledge nature. 16. 16. These are chaotic evil creatures. Oh. And. I mean you know how. They can

move very quickly, uh, like via dimension door. I did, uh, fey as nature, 100%. Oh, I don't have it. Never mind. Uh, so Gorms, you know they are chaotic evil. Bear. Oh, sorry, you're still up. Uh, and then I'll Burning Hands,

the one that's attacking. And are you gonna say this? Yes. I'll share the fact that they are evil attacking. And are you going to say this? Yes. I'll share the fact that they are evil, evil beings. They can travel very quickly as if via dimension door. Wow. So I wonder if they're like not originally supposed to be here. I thought maybe they're protecting the entrance. Right, right.

But maybe they invaded this place. Right. I mean, I can't see druids being so evil aligned he'd be neutral yeah I can't see them staffing this place with evil creatures okay so burning hands I'm gonna line it up so I so work is excluded in the cone that seems very convenient I can take a step if I need to no way is to hit them without hitting either me or Baron not Oh, I didn't see Benvarine. Not to mention Benvarine. I didn't see Benvarine.

I was going to step into where Benvarine is. Just based on the size of this room, you're going to hit either Benvarine and Lork or Lork and Baron. I don't have the range to hit Baron regardless. It's only 15 feet. All right, I will not do that then. Baron is 15 feet away. Hex the fuck out of him.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so you can pick. If you do that, you can do Lork and Benverine. No, I'll just Ear Piercing Scream. Okay, that's a localized. Yeah, it's one target. One target, okay. Yeah, hang on.

We should get a drop for Ear Piercing Scream that literally just makes people pull their headphones out. It's just... Yeah, we should. Never listening to this again. Roll a fortitude save, audience. Okay, roll a fortitude save.

DC 14, fortitude save. Fortitude save. Okay. Correct die. 19 on the die. All right, you save, so you're not dazed. And you take. Am I confused? You take 10 damage.

10 damage. Wow. Fifth level. Damn. Gormley. Yeah, girl. That's great. Son of a.

So it's a 5d6 now? Yeah. Nice. Okay. Are you moving at all, Gorms? No, I'll stay right. All right. Baron, you're up.

I'd like to acrobatics towards Galabras to avoid an attack of opportunity. Okay. You'd have to do one, two, three acrobatics checks. And you can only move half your speed. Okay, so can I, what's my penalty if I shoot them at point blank range? You take an attack of opportunity from both. So I'm going to take an attack of opportunity either way. You can take a five foot step and take an attack of opportunity from both. So I'm going to take an attack of opportunity either way. You can take a five foot step and take an attack of opportunity from one.

Yeah. So I'm going to take... So he slides over. Takes an attack of opportunity. Okay. And he's not flat footed, right? Correct. No, I'm acting.

Because he's acting. Right, he's acting. Okay, just goes to strike you with its spear. 20 to hit. Oh, 20 hits. It's going to be some poison or something. Yep. Two points of damage.

And? And? Everything seems fine at the moment. Couple things are gonna happen. So Baron's going to shoot at this guy. Okay. Point blank shot. Deadly aim. That is a 21 to hit.

Perfect music cue there. It really was. It was perfect. 21 hits. A regular armor or a touch? It's touch. It's always touch. Minimum damage but still 10 points of damage. Okay.

Phenomenal. All right. Lork. All right, Lork is going to two-handed swing his falchion. And I'll do a power attack. So, comes a quick miss. Corms, you ear pierced the one that was attacking the wall. 14 to hit.

14 misses. Oh, my God. I'm so fucking awful. God damn, man. All right. Ben Vereen, I'll tell him to attack. He'll take a five-foot step, and we'll do a full attack action. First attack.

Claw. Miss. Claw. Miss. Rolled a three, and then a two. Ooh. And then a 21 on the bite. 21 hits?

Yeah. There we go. A 21 on the bite hits. He does one point of damage. All right. Take that. Take that. Your roll.

Baron, how much damage did you do the last one? 10. 10. 10. So you did 10 and Gormley did 10. And I should have said before this started. To two different ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Not to the same guy. And I should have pointed out before this started that I decided to save my fire dealing bullets until we fight some crazy. You have eight left? Yeah, it's on my phone. It's eight. And I have how many arrows? 12?

13. 13. They both have 12. Okay. Okay. All right. The first one, the one near Baron, just disappears, comes over here on the other side, and just opens up its chest and shoots out splinters across the room. What the fuck?

So all of you, including Ben, everyone except Galabras and Baron. So Gormley, Benverine, and Lork roll a reflex save. 12 for Gormley. 16 for Lork, 10 for Benverine. All right, so Benverine and Gormley take 15 points of piercing damage Oh What? And Lork takes 7

Alright then I am going to use my ability To have him increase Oh no it wasn't an AC So I can't do it Can't you still half? Oh cause it doesn't You know I wouldn't think so I think it's when

When he makes an attack It wasn't against AC no it's reflex safe you're 100 sure it's like a spell like ability it's not like a touchable ability okay yeah no it's a it's a 15 foot cone burst and you roll reflex save to to have the damage okay um so 15 to benvarine and gorms, 7 to Lork, Newsflash the other one's doing the same thing but this one excuse me that's Baron, that's Baron, I was talking about

tiny twig man, this one goes comes over here and 15 foot conical burst, yep, this one includes Baron Galabras, you're safe as a button over there, everybody roll wait, wait,ras, you're safe as a button over there. Everybody roll. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You said it's a 15-foot cone? Yeah. That one is out of range of all of us, the first one that you did. Fair enough, then I'll put him within range. Is that 15 foot? Yes. Oh, I see it's 15 foot. Okay, so this one here, then...

It makes a difference because how quickly we can close and... So this one will only affect can't get been Larkin Baron see that I can save Ben Vereen's life good yeah good that does not incur an attack of opportunity to appear in a threatened square they're using some crazy

is it a ranged attack technically stop it Baron's already rolled for you also can't take it at a time of opportunity. This is way too good. Yeah, that's true. All right. Reflex save.

Lork. King of all men. Fuck. Succeeded. 21. 12. Okay, not bad. I rolled, oh jeepers, three ones.

Seven points of damage to Baron. Three points to Lork. And now it is Galabras' turn. You little fucking twigs. All right. I'm going to pull out my... Penis? My God, I felt like that was said by somebody that wasn't even here.

That was bizarre. Where did that voice come from? It's the voice of the balls of thorns. What you pull out your dick, bro? Oh, it's Howie. Yeah, I'm going to pull out my crossbow and fire a fire bolt at the guy closest to me. All right. Alright.

Eleven. Eleven misses. The firebolt sails past, hits the wall. Hits. Extinguishes. And now Gorms. Gorms, what's going on?

You got full of splinters. Yeah, that hurt. Gorms is gonna have burning hands. Gormley. Gorms, what's going on? You got full of splinters. Yeah, that hurt. Gorms is going to Burning Hands. Gormley hates getting hit. It's going to be tough to fly with eight-foot ceilings. So she's going to Burning Hands? Burning Hands. Did you Burn Hands last time, too?

No. I just went to Ear Piercing Spring. Ear Piercing. That's what I thought. Roll a reflex save. You son of a bitch. Ten. Ten on the reflex save. You son of a bitch. Ten. Ten on the reflex save. Ooh, fail.

Fail. Eleven points of damage. Nice. Fire damage. And they're vulnerable to fire, so it hits, bursts into flames and dies. Nice. Yeah.

Awesome. Beautiful. Good job, Gorms. Gorms takes one out and lives to tell the tale. Baron, one is up in your face. Five foot step back from him. Okay. Rapid shot.

Oh, yeah. Ooh, yeah. 24 to hit. 24 hits. Ooh. 15 damage. And Baron kills the other one. Yeah, nice.

Suck my thorns. I could use a little thorn sucking myself. Can I check their little bodies? In the form of some healing. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, I mean, it's just as they exploded into a mass of twigs and vegetation. You two are hurt?

Baron and Gormley? Yeah, I'm like nine down. I think Lorca hurt too. A channel would probably help, right? Yeah. Ben Vereen is way down. Oh, that's right. He took a tough hit.

He was not able to dodge. Seven points of healing. Here's a question. Sure. It's not terribly relevant, but Benverine got hit. He goes into a rage. Bam. Right?

He never attacked again. The target of his rage, which is what it's all based on, died. Before it was his next turn. Did he use up, like, a round of rage, and is he fatigued? No, I think it would track on Ben Vrain's next turn. So I shouldn't even put him into a rage until it's the start of his turn. Right. Okay, so he hasn't used any rage, and he's not fatigued. It would have mattered if the combat lasted another round.

If the target died and got back to him, he didn't technically enter his rage. I guess, yeah. Because this is all happening in a matter of seconds. Right. So he enters his rage at the start of his turn, not at the second he took damage. Does he? Well, that's the question. It's like, he takes damage.

Would he enter into rage if he took an attack of opportunity before his next turn? You know what I mean? Anyway, it's kind of like... Yeah, something to look up. I ask... Did you just have to figure out is it immediate or not? Right.

Yes, Baron. I walk up to Galabras and I show him where the little guy poked me with a spear. The little cut he gave me and I ask him to do a heal check on it. Yeah, I'm going to... Oh, yes.

Turn your head and cough. 20. It's just a normal wound or... I'm a, it's a, Oh yes. Tony hadn't cough. Uh, 20. It's just a normal wound or, uh, yeah, it appears to be a normal, uh,

it was at ironwood or regular wood. Uh, it was just regular wood. Oh, right. They, they caught on flame. It was like thorny wood.

Uh, now where did they come from? Uh, they came out of the, the branches and brambles on the floor. The brush? Did they enter or did they dimension door into the area? Dimension door it in.

I mean, their ability acts like dimension door. Dimension door. Dimension du jour. When you enter the room. Basically, it's called Bramble Jump. That is a dumb name. Very clever. They're called Twig Jacks. Twig they can just that is a dumb name very clever they're called twig jacks those twig yeah that's a good name that is good twig jack the artwork is great because it just looks they're really cute they look like voodoo well now i'm kind of yeah yeah

now i'm kind of weirded out though like why would they have a chaotic evil creature guarding this place which should be neutral it should be nature nature neutral for those that are on the side of nature. Maybe there's some corruption here. All right. I say for the interest of the episode, we barge forwards. Yeah. Kick the doors in? Yep.

Lork would like to check the door, see if it's locked. It's open. Oh, it's open. It opened. It pulled away. No, the branches in front of it pulled away. But the door, does just revealed the door. Does it just have like a knob or like a latch?

It looks like the doors swing inward. But without, whatever. Okay, so can I try to gently. Do you want me to open the door? Can everybody, is everybody good to go? Should we check for traps? Yeah. I'm fine.

I'm fine. I'll do a perception. Perception? For traps at the door. I will aid you. Never mind, I won't bother. No need a Percept for traps at the door. I will aid you. Never mind. I won't bother. No need.

It's not trapped. 21. It appears to just open inward and be untrapped. Okay. I would like to gently push the door open. Stealthily, if it's relevant. You pull it open. Oh, inward.

So not into the place we're going. Into us. So it opens outward. I'm sorry. So the opposite of what you said. Nope. You not into the place we're going, into us. So it opens outward. I'm sorry. So the opposite of what you said. Nope, you were right the first time. They go inward into the room. Okay, so I push it.

Push them open. In as quietly as possible if it's relevant. Swing open. Okay. Probably going to need a music change for this. Oh. We'll fade this one down. It opens into hell.

Demons everywhere. An orgy. Lord Baphomet himself. Demonic orgy. That would be a really surprising sight for this place. I would love to... Hail Lamashu. Demonic orgy.

Bears sodomizing elves. No, no, no! No, but some of them are like, yeah, yeah, yeah! As they cut themselves. All right, this is getting dark. This is dark. Guys, this is a druidic circle. Show some respect.

All right. I apologize. Even though I made much of the dirty reference. Show some respect. All, all, all. The doors swing inward to reveal a domed chamber.

An extensive wooden bridge stretching across a wide high chamber that overlooks an exotic garden below. The air is very hot, humid, sticky. The temperature has gone up like 20 degrees since you opened the door. And a powerful stench of overripe vegetation wafts throughout the massive dome chamber. The ceiling overhead is like, it's a complex, whereas the ceiling before was just vines all sort of clenched together letting in sunlight. The ceiling now is a complex series of star pattern glass that magnifies

the rays of the sun directly above it. Hence, the above 90 degree heat here. Above 90 degree heat and, for example, Galabras is wearing a Scruff's armor. So it's 120 degrees inside of your armor. There are no handholds on the bridge, so it's 120 degrees inside of your armor.

There are no handholds on the bridge, so it is just a stretch bridge. No railing or handholds that goes all the way down into a garden, X amount of feet, all the way up to this dome. How many feet? X amount of feet. How far can you see down? 60 feet.

It's beyond 60, but doesn't look like it's much farther beyond that. Well, then I couldn't see it. So it looks like a bottomless pit? No, because you can see the floor. You can see that there's a floor down there. It's just covered in... Oh, it's not dark. I'm thinking dark vision.

Yeah, no, it couldn't be more light in this room. But you can only see X amount of feet down. It's probably about 80 feet. Okay. And above you, it goes 80 feet. So you're in a giant, circular room.

Oh my God. At the other end of the room, I guess it'd be too much to ask. It's just like all the weapons and treasure stuff will just be sitting there waiting for us, right?

Is that too much to ask? Do you want me to tell you? At the end of the, at the far end of the bridge, and the bridge is about 80 feet long too, so everything's 80 feet. Not convenient. There are more interwoven...

Ain't this place a geographical oddity? There are more interwoven branches to form another doorway. Place yourselves in the dome. I want to ask earlier, I think we ruled out channel positive, but nothing strange happened when Galabras healed us, right? You guys were just channeling, right?

Yeah. There was no healing spells. No healing spells? Is anyone still hurt? I am. Just two points, nothing. I'm eight down. I'm down two. I am going to use the wand to cast Cure Light Wounds

on Gormley. So that's a healing spell. That is a spell of the healing subtype. Six points. That spell is empowered. Nice. Do you know what that means? Skid, you got some slain into you.

Nerd! Skid's got some slainin' to do. It is time for Nerdy! I don't actually know what this means I 100% knew That you weren't gonna know I knew it I knew it It just raises the level doesn't it Empower is a metamagic feat

Yeah it's a metamagic feat Joe do you wanna step in Yeah I'll step in You gotta explain metamagic feats It is a Well metamagic feat. Joe, do you want to step in? Yeah, I'll step in. You've got to explain metamagic feats. It is a, well, metamagic feats are. Joe's got some things to do. It's time for Joe. Joe's sitting in here for Skid on Nerdage.

It is, metamagic feats allow you to do things to buff up or change the way a spell is used, make a lower spell more powerful, make a spell that you used to use that doesn't seem as relevant much more relevant. And in order to use them, they cost more to cast, but they become more powerful. This ability, which allows you to empower the healing spells, means that all of the healing done is increased by half. Oh, great. So 50% increase. So if you healed someone for eight hit points, they actually heal for 12 hit points.

But unlike most metamagic feats, uh, when you do that, you have to use a higher level slot. This, whatever's going on in this Demi plane does not cost you the higher spell level, all healing,

any spells of the healing sub-school gain the empowered feat without costing you the extra. I sense that this place is suffused with positive energy and it is empowering my spells. But now with that effect, let's say, let's say we encountered some

Let's say we encountered some undead creatures. Would using a cure light wounds or... Yes. They would do it and increase the damage. Absolutely, absolutely. Yeah. Very good point.

Gorms. Bottle cap. Bottle cap. And I just want to go on record saying that, I don't know about you guys, but I'm definitely concerned, very concerned about falling in here. Yeah, let's tie a rope on something. There is a long bridge with no handrails and it drops 80 feet

and i had the choice at fifth level when i took the thing to help ben varine another ranger trick is to avoid the first 20 feet of falling damage when you're falling and i was like oh with the catapult thing i was like man lord could definitely fall somewhere and this could keep him alive went with the ben varine thing and now i'm, man, Lurk could definitely fall somewhere, and this could keep him alive. Went with the Ben Vereen thing, and now I'm like, oh, shit. Well, maybe we could get in contact somehow with OSHA, and they could just find them. Right, right. Occupational Safety Hazard Authority.

Come on. Yes. I thought OSHA was an NPC. So did I. I was like, I forgot that one. Bunch of nerds. The candlestick maker? It's the dwarf's brother.

OSHA might get involved with regulating football concussions well I am less concerned because of feather fall so if you guys want to walk along the center oh good for you well why don't you go first then

well I'm not stupid I'm saying I can walk along the outside if you guys want to walk in that sentence you should just fly to the other end I'm gonna have Ben Vereen stand in front of me okay so we stay in a line with five feet gap on either side of us but before the No, you should just fly to the other end. I'm going to have Ben Vereen stand in front of me. Okay.

So we stay in a line with five feet gap on either side of us before the drop-off. Everybody move up to the extent of one movement, wherever you like to be placed. So Ben Vereen and Lork just stepped up to about the middle of the bridge. Yeah, we didn't check the gaps. 20 feet. Okay.

Galabs goes up. Single file with Baron behind him. Put me between Lorc and Baron so I can grab either one of you if I need to. Pretty much a straight line with Gormley just on the edge of the bridge. We're given five feet

on either side of us before the drop off. With the exception of Gormley. Yeah, who's not unafraid. Gormley is right next to Galabras. I'd like to do perception checks, survival checks on the bridge, looking around, seeing if any danger could be coming at us. I'll do perception first. Gromley would as well. Let me resolve these singularity. You're doing what?

Perception. Okay. 29. Perception. Looking for? Looking around the outer walls and the ceiling and for anything that could just like swoop in at us or come in at us uh and attack um and try to knock us off the bridge that's that's my concern right now right 29 perception roll a knowledge nature do you have that oh yeah it's one of my

it's one of my good ones as a as a ranger. Natural 20. Oh, 27. Yeah. Knowledge and age. You hear, first of all, you hear faint sounds of wildlife, for lack of a better word. Okay. Creatures.

Fluttering of wings, maybe a scratch, scratching, you know, whatnot. But with your knowledge of nature, you notice that the sun never moves. The sun, since you came in... We're in a place out of time. ...to right now, never moves.

You're out of touch. It seems that this place, this realm, is eternally stuck at midday. Mm. It is overwhelmingly hot in here. 80 feet below you is a garden. 80 feet above is the ceiling. 15 foot wide bridge. You hear

wildlife. Baron, what do you want to do? And then I'm going to get to the casters. I'll just do a quick... You're shooting your'll do it i want to do come on i'm also going to sorry i'm also going to be in total defense mode i want to do a quick profession fisherman and i want to good i want to cast my my fisher's rod over the edge and see if I get anything. You took that with you? Oh, yeah, I have a rod with me. I'm a fucking fisherman.

There's a job now. Just want to get this straight. Which side of the bridge do you cast the rod over? Starboard. Starboard side of the bridge? All right, so you just... How long is that? It's probably

100 feet 100 feet yeah It hits the bottom Of the floor And you just kind of Hook Bobber You hold it there

Do I roll? Yeah roll Profession Fisherman Natural 20 27 You catch a river shark. Ah, I got a big one. Take a picture of it. No, dude,

take a picture, bro. You. I'm going to try to use my fisherman every chance I can. What does it say in the book for when one of the characters throws a hook and bobber over the end of the page? There's at least three pages on what if your gunslinger PC

casts a line over the edge into a gun. Oh, I had to do it. I had to do it. I'm assuming this was an unbaited hook. Changes the DC. Oh, no, I put Miracle Grow on there It's fertilizer Barrett throws it over there

And you hold there for a minute and you're like What the hell am I doing What am I doing What am I doing with my life I'm so dumb And then But then you feel A light tugging.

Oh, my God. Fish on? A light tugging. Fish on. And then a giant tugging, and the rope snaps. Gormley and... What pound test was that line? Galabras.

Gormley and Galabras roll a perception check. Ooh, 24. So glad I did this 13 Oh boy I'm so glad I did this This is amazing I have no regrets

Oh man Alright Galabras at least Galabras Do I get a perception check? No not yet Okay Galabras at least You see a perception check? No, not yet. Okay. Galabras at least, you see not too far away from you,

like fluttering of tiny little wings. Gormley and Galabras roll a fortitude check. We just make sure it's fortitude it is. 19. Natural 20. Roll for initiative. Oh, my God. My 29 perception irrelevant?

Oh, there we go. Come on, Baron. What'd you get? 18. 19. All right. Anybody over 20? Gorms?

No. So, Lork, you going first, buddy? Yeah! I can miss before anyone. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a historic day. And historic day in the history of the podcast. And historic. Let's get those ones out of the way early in the round. Gorms, what'd you end up rolling?

15. Galabs? Three. Okay, so no 20s, except the creatures. You mean the ones that sweep in, grab you, and then toss you off the bridge? Oh, I hate falling damage! You look and you see two creatures

on either side of the bridge that look like tiny little fairies. You can barely see them in the light. And Baron and Lork roll a fortitude save. Baron and the Lorkmaster.

16. Poison, spell, or spell-like ability? Not poison, no. Is it a spell? I mean, I guess spell-like ability. Okay, then I get an 18. All right, you guys are fine. And these two little creatures come fluttering onto the bridge

and then disappear. What were they? Where were they? They landed. Did we see where they landed? One landed on the bridge in front of Ben Vereen. One landed on the bridge

behind Baron. And then as they started moving towards you, they became completely invisible. Okay. Glitter dust. What did they look like? Fairies, you said?

They looked like, you know what? Let me just show you a picture. Let's do a little art. Show us know what? Let me just show you a picture, huh? Let's do a little art. Show us a picture. Let me see some art. You only saw them so quickly because they were only visible when they were flapping their wings.

They look like this. What the fuck is that thing? Oh, they're like these tiny little creatures. So this is all fae shit. Yeah, yeah. Just, they land on the bridge, and then as they take a step towards you, disappear.

And it is now Lork's turn. Lork is going to say, let's get out a sword and fight like a man. To the large-eyed humanoid. Yeah. They look like emaciated elven children. Uh, okay. So, elven children.

Am I right? Am I right? Take that, elves. Yeah, shut up, elves. Living so long, thinking you're so pointy-eared and better than us, says the hundred,

hundred-some-odd-year-old creature. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but at least I'm a good height. Uh, Lork is going to... Cry? He's going to ready an action. Some odd year old creature. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But at least I'm a good height. Lork is going to... Cry. He's going to ready an action. He's going to... He's going to ready an action to shoot his bow when and if the thing appears.

So if it flaps its wings, he's going to fire. Okay. Ben Vereen. Ben Vereen is if the thing is within range and appears he's going to move and attack so if it's a uh if it's more than 10 feet away he's going to charge and attack if it's not more than 10 feet away he's just going to move and attack okay on the bridge bear it's not going to jump off the bridge to attack anything just want to be clear so ben varine if he sees something's not going to jump off the bridge to attack anything. Just want to be clear.

So Ben Vereen, if he sees something, he's going to say something. Yes. How precisely? Oh, actually, you know what? Ben Vereen is going to, I'm going to command it to attack the thing. So I want Ben Vereen to do his scent ability. Okay. Okay, so I can roll a DC 10 survival check to know the exact direction of it, to track it.

Okay. Okay, so he's got a plus two to survival. I rolled an 11, so it's 13 survival, which means he can now move in the direction where it was. So if it's right where it was and it's invisible, he can move to it. He would then know exactly where it is within five feet. He is within five feet of it. It is... Already. Yeah, is uh already yeah already so it's right in front of him it's yeah okay then i think

that he should be able to take a swipe out sure uh 50 chance yes still 50 chance uh so he takes a swipe at it uh and misses on the concealment he rolled a 21 to hit okay but i rolled a 30 as far as ben knows uh it's right here okay so i so lork sees uh ben do that but he's still waiting until he sees it before he's gonna right uh baron uh baron back of the bridge jump off the bridge the the second yeah he's gonna put himself on the hook of his fishing pole and he's going to be the bait. When Baron saw them land for even a moment, did they have weapons? Roll a perception check. 14.

Or no, 12. You're not quite sure. It all happened so fast. They were only visible when their wings were flapping. I'm going to turn around because I heard one behind me, and I'm going to ready a rapid shot should it become visible. Should it become visible, Baron, not unlike Lork, will fire away Gorm's. Gorm is going to glitter dust.

Okay. Because Ben Vereen probably doesn't know the code word. Right. And I don't want him to become blind. I'm going to cast it, I'm going to put it basically on Baron's square. Center it there. But you know the code word. I'm closing my eyes.

Wait a second, so you're not going for the one with Ben Vereen. No. You're going for the one near, closer to Baron. Towards the back of the group. Towards the back of the group, exactly. All right, so you're centering it on... Oh, let's do the space right in front of Baron. Okay, space right in front of Baron.

Joe, are you suggesting that I do it one more square back? You don't want to get Baron? Oh, he can close his eyes. He can close his eyes. Okay, yeah, sure, whatever. All right, so you're allowed, eyes closed, and you cast... I say the code word, which is salami. Everyone close their eyes.

Salami, Salami! Cured Italian meats! Cured! Okay. Go for it. I cast Glitter Dust, and if there are creatures in there, it has to roll a save. It is in there. What does it say? Reflex?

Fortitude? Will? Will. DC 15. Made it. 15 on the die. All right, so it is not blind. However, it is covered in dust. Gold dust. And you see the creature 10 feet away from Baron.

This tiny little creature standing on the bridge. Just very, very tiny with little translucent wings. And it's covered in this glitter dust, and the only thing that was making it invisible is this... Oh, you don't need to know that. Yeah, I was going to say, I think you're over-revealing right now.

Just because it's cool. I bet it's really cool. Now that I can see it, can I roll a knowledge... No, no, no, you can't see it. All you see is dust floating in the air. Well, can I see the... From when I saw it, can I roll a knowledge check to see what it is? Yeah, you can roll knowledge. Roll it.

Knowledge nature. Knowledge nature. If it's still fey. Let me make sure it's still fey. That is going to be knowledge nature. No, I didn't get it. 11. Negative, my friend.

Negative. Can Baron shoot him now? Yeah, no, so when someone's covered in glitter dust, do they still get concealment or no? Nope, they're wide open. Totally visible. Yeah, so Baron, you were holding your action in the event that you could see them. Mm-hmm. You're gonna shoot him. And I say...

Sounds fair to me. Gotta be careful not to fly too close to the sun, boy. It's clearly not a boy. It doesn't seem to. 17 against, or yeah, 17 against Touch AC. Okay, 17 against Touch AC. Hits!

Yeah! Max damage. 17 points. Oh my god. Insta kill. No, it's still very much alive. Oh shit. Galabras.

So Baron, you now move. Don't forget the dragon too that's at the bottom of the pit. Did I tell you about the dragon? I'm going to step up and swing the hammer of Oskroth at this glittery creature. Glitterin. Oh yeah. Glittering. Oh yeah, 21 to hit. 21 hits. Fucking swat that fly out of the sky.

I squashed that bug. Eight points of damage. Eight points of damage. Nice Galaverus. All right, he's taken some damage. Round two. It is now their turn. Lork, my good buddy Lork, everybody's friend Lork,

you just feel, don't! But you don't see anything. It attacks you while remaining invisible. First attack. Question. No, nevermind. 15. Miss. Second attack. First attack Question No never Uh 15 Miss Second attack

Miss Lucky Lucky lorkness Ah Okay this guy is in uh He's in rough shape Uh What is that greater invisibility?

It acts It acts as It acts like greater invisibility If you're wondering what Greater invisibility? It acts as greater invisibility. If you're wondering what greater invisibility is, normally when you're invisible, if you cast invisibility, once you attack, you become visible. Greater invisibility, the best spell ever, you can stay invisible while you attack. Makes you basically impossible to hit. Extremely dangerous.

Okay, so this guy will... See, I want him to kind of do what Gormley does and fly a little bit. What guy, Troy? I'm sorry, the one that Baron and Galabras are ganging up on. That's all glitter dusted up. Right, the one that's all, I want him to kind of

Dressed up like a harlot. Fly, and that's gonna incur attack of opportunity from Galabras, correct? Yes, not if he does a full withdrawal. Right. They're just going to, he's just going to start flying over this way, and that will incur from Galavris. Okay. Wait, is he going to act?

Yes. Okay. Miss. Miss. Okay. He then, uh... I just imagine him casting some horrible wind spell Or something to just blow us all off the bridge This is like a Legend of Zelda wind temple

Yeah, seriously You dick littered us Roll a fortitude, sir Figured that was coming Oh, there you go Saved Maxed, move on 20

You're alright You're alright You're alright Everything seems okay Uh Lork You're still holding your turn You felt And it got back to my turn Yeah

And I got hit Uh okay Where did I get hit from I should know What square I got hit from Well nothing hit you But you did feel Oh well yeah

You could say that it never I never I wouldn't even know I got attacked Right Um There's that creature Is fluttering there and fully visible now. Okay. Because when it was standing, I'll tell you this,

when it was just standing there covered in glitter dust, completely invisible, you just see the outline of it in the glitter dust. When it starts flying, you see it visible now and covered in glitter dust. Does that make sense? Yes, it makes sense. So I'll shoot at the one that's flying out in glitter dust, out over the gap. So it was still invisible when you hit the glitter dust. You can just see the outline of the body. But once it starts flying, it's visible. So it has something to do with the flying. I'm going to do a

deadly aim, but not... Actually, no. I'm going to do a non-deadly aim rapid shot. Yeah. Just because they're small targets, so I don't want to lower the two-hit too much. Sure. Okay, so first shot. 21. Hit. Yeah!

There we go. There we go. Lock for six points of damage. Beautiful. Second shot. Hit. Same exact roll. For 11 points of damage.

Ooh! Whoa! There we go. So wait, you hit it for... Like the old Black Arrow days. You know what I'm saying? I'm sorry, so you hit it for a total of 17? Yes.

Doof! Doof! Two arrows, both find their mark. Two natural 15s. All right, so Ben Vereen jumps off the bridge at that one as well? Yes. Okay, good, good. Ben Vereen is going to full attack...

Farron will catch it on his hook benverine is going to full attack action the one that attacked lark right he knows exactly he knows exactly where it is and so first attack oh i'm sorry if you don't mind i'm going to redo that i accidentally rolled two d20s i meant to roll a d10 that's very because of the concealment First attack Miss That's his claw Second claw Miss

Bite That's a 15 to hit Miss Okay Miss, miss, miss Gorm Lee You guys want a little more glitter?

Yeah For the second one Dog, yeah Ben Vereen's got a roll of reflex Do what you're gonna do Gorm Lee's gonna class glitter dust again Centering it on the square Shit

And she's gonna say Salami Salami Wow two glitter dust Clutch Those are first level spells right Second level Second level

So two second level spells Burned Okay so it rolls Reflex save DC 15 Will Will Will save

DC 15 will save To not be blinded Yeah Oh Jesus Made 15 exactly Failed But We'll save. DC 15 will save to not be blinded? Yeah. Oh, Jesus. Made 15 exactly. Failed. But, so Ben Vereen is blinded?

Yeah, he's fucking blind. But he has sin. So now he's going to just attack Gormley until he's dead. No, he's got sin. He's got sin. Yeah. Right, but he has sin. He's like a daredevil. How long is that blindness mask?

One round a little. Tasmanian daredevil. So Ben Vereen's blind, so now he's like a daredevil. How long is that blindness? One round a little. Tasmanian daredevil. So Ben Reign's blind, so now he's going to take... Okay, I'll do the conditions thing. But anyways, now you see the outline of that other creature right there in front of you. And it is... Are you moving, Gorms? Yeah, I'll step back to the other edge of the bridge. Okay.

Behind Baron. Yeah, so Gormley steps back right next to Galabras. Galabras and Baron are on the back of the bridge. Lorkhan Benverine up front now, surrounding this other lurker while one floats in the air. Enough talk. Baron, what do you do? Baron's going to rapid shot this guy floating above the abyss.

All right, first shot. And he's turning off point blank shot. Now let me ask you this. Turning off? Is it against touch AC? Deactivating. Is it against touch AC if he's more than 20 feet away? He's exactly 20 feet away, so.

But he's flying, and so he's up a little bit. How much is he up? More than 20 feet. That's why I asked. So it's regular AC. Oh. So it's, how far away is he now? That's fine, yeah.

That's 20? Okay. So Baron moves right to the edge of the bridge. Correct. Oh! That is a 24 to hit. 24 hits, roll for damage. Oh my god. Oh! 15 is a 24 to hit. 24 hits, roll for damage. Oh my gosh!

Oh! 15 damage. Shoots it out of the sky and kills it. Yeah! Nice! Can I use my second rapid shot against the other guy? I suppose you can. Is that like multiple attacks?

You only took a five foot step, right? Yeah. Yeah, sure. Yeah, absolutely. All right, second guy. It's minus four to hit. Yeah. So I have a plus four to this roll.

Ten against touch. Miss. One is deceased. Okay. It is now Galabras' turn. Galabras, what are you doing? I'm going to step up and swing at it with the hammer of Uskaroth. All right, so you're closing in.

So now it's Galabras. Lork and Benverine are all surrounding us. All surrounding us. 15 to hit. 15 to hit. Miss. Round three. One of these little buggers is dead.

One still lives. Totally visible now. Goes to claw. Galabras. First claw. 21 to hit. Nope. Whoa!

No, it does hit. Oh, I know. I believed you. That was close enough to believe you. You should have stuck with it, Skid. He didn't know. Three points of damage, and you need to roll a fortitude save.

Nope. 17. Are you serious? Yeah. You're fine. DC seven tones. against its poisoned claws okay thereby eliminating the poison when something has one dose of poison on it once it strikes the poison is gone yeah so it's not like innate on every attack now it's something i was reading about today when I was prepping these guys. Yeah, that's true. So you didn't forget the poison today.

Great job. Second claw misses anybody it would have attacked. Lork, you're up. All right, Lork is going to... I want to do a knowledge nature on this thing. Sure. 23. 23 knowledge nature. Okay.

These things, oh, you crushed the DC, so I will tell you. I want to know if they're chaotic evil. Again, like if they're similarly aligned to the things

that were outside. They are neutrally evil. Okay, but evil. But evil, nonetheless, yeah. And then whatever else interesting. Don't tell me they can go invisible when they're not flying. Well, it has to do with areas of bright light.

The light's so bright in here, as long as it's bright light, they can stay invisible, except when their wings are flapping. Oh, so if we cast darkness. That's why I almost told you too much. I'm like, great, don't fucking cast darkness, but don't. Yeah, I mean, we can't do that. What I will tell you is once per day, they can use, basically can use dimension door. So similar to those twig jacks that can use bramble jump. And we haven't seen any obvious use of that yet, right?

They use a thing called daylight door. No. But basically, if you don't kill it, it may just disappear. Okay. Then Lork is going to drop the bow, quick draw the Falch, and take a power attack swing. This thing is yet

to be hit, but it is now completely visible. Man, Glitter Dust is such a great spell. Yeah, Glitter Dust and Grease are two awesome low-level spells. I should have taken it ages ago. Okay, power attack with the Falchion. Miss. Okay. Power attack with the Falchion.

Miss. Oh my god! Damn, dude. Blind Benverine. You know, he doesn't take a penalty to hit for blinded. You don't?

Fun fact. You take a penalty, there's concealment. He takes a penalty to AC. But it was basically the same thing he had before he died. He takes a penalty to AC and to damage. Oh the same thing he had before. He takes a penalty to AC and a damage.

Oh no, that's strength index skill checks. Okay, here we go. Claw. Hit. Amazing. 18 on the die and 70 on the concealment. So he hits with a claw and does...

He didn't take any damage, right? Him? No, this guy is... No, no, no, Benverine. Oh, you have Benverine's character. I don't think he did, yeah. Two points of damage. The next attack misses. And next attack misses.

So hit with the claw, then miss with the claw, miss with the bite. Gormley. Gormley will hex the thing for AC. Nice. All right, hex for AC, and that's going to be four issues, or we'll save. We'll save.

Do you think you're going to cackle? 18. You save. So for one round, minus, well, let's make that two rounds. Okay, we have a new cackle Provided to us by Our friend, Nick Lowe's Very young daughter, how old is she?

She's almost three Okay, here we go That's adorable She gave us a good shot Once again Nick Lowe Senior editor at Marvel In charge of Spider-Man

Executive editor Executive Executive editor And I believe Lois Is now an associate editor In charge of Limited edition Cloak and Dagger series

That would make sense That is her specialty Guys send in your cackles They might use them Whose turn is it? Barry would make sense. That is her specialty. Guys, send in your cackles. They might use them. Whose turn is it? Baron. You have the initiative tracker.

I got distracted by that cute cackle. I know. It was so adorable. It's not exactly an intimidating cackle. It's not really, but it's like, aww. It does lull you into a false sense of submission. Yeah. I think everything's fine. No, your AC is down. Bear, bear.

Baron's gonna pull his pistol out one last time and say fall from the sky you little bugger. Is that on your list? No, no, no. That's why it was bad. Oh, okay. So minus four and it gets a plus four to its AC.

No, he's shooting over Benverine. So just minus four to hit. No, I'm going to leave on deadly. It's too much damage. It's too much damage. So minus six to hit. Doesn't matter. It's an 18 to hit. Against touch AC. That's a hit.

Oh yeah, man. I wish I could roll like Grant. That is 12 points of damage. I really want this statistical analysis. I want to know. Well, that's a guy. That's one of of damage. I really want the statistical analysis. I want to know. Well, that's a guy, that's one of the listeners is doing a statistical analysis of your rolls. I think it's all of our rolls. Oh, it is

everybody. Okay. Yeah. I want to see the comparison. I can't wait for the results. I think it's going to turn out that you just, you don't roll poorly overall. You just roll poorly at clutch moments. That's possible. Though I did, I roll good at some clutch moments. You also complain about it more than anyone else moments that might that's possible though i did i roll good at some clutch moments you also complain about it more than anyone else that's well that's because it's accurate joe selection bias joe superman does good you do well right you're right

you're right uh not in zack snyder movies uh i'm gonna hammer hammer time and miss calabras swing it. That hammer is not rung true as of late. No. Round four, it's this little guy's turn. Here we go, bye. Dimension doors up to here and uses one last, perhaps futile attempt.

Who wants to roll the fortitude save? uses one last perhaps futile attempt. Who wants to roll the fortitude save? Who has done the most let's say let's say Lorch. Lorch. Did you say do the most? I never hit it. Baron crushed it.

Baron shot it with a gun. With a firearm. Baron's got with a gun With a firearm Yeah But Baron's got such a high fortitude That's true He is dwarf He is a dwarf They're very sturdy

It's basically automatic But okay No I made my decision Lork roll your fortitude Okay Fortitude 20 There we go

Okay There we go And that thing is just floating there And it is Lork's turn. Lork is going to sheathe his falchion and pick his bow up off the ground, which is his turn. Ben Vereen.

Ben Vereen is going to stay where he is. Gormley. He smells. Oh, that would be crazy if he just walked off the edge. Oh, because he can't see the edge? And smelling. No, Lork will just grab him, I mean. Yeah, yeah just grab them I mean yeah yeah no Ben no man come come crossbow crossbow yeah I can actually I can just are you using a fire bolt no okay

anticlimactic 15 15 mrs. even with the lower day seeing with the Lord a safe very close break really high I see on these little guys Aaron cackle let's 15 misses. Even with the lower AC? Even with the lower AC. Very close. Very close. Really high AC on these little guys. Baron. Cackle. Did you skip over Galabras? I know Galabras finished last. Oh, okay.

Thank you, Lois. Yeah, it's your turn again, Baron. I have to turn that music down a little. So Baron... Shoots at him again. Sure. We'll say you're up close and deadly just for shits and giggles. Even though you're not. Can you take another five foot step?

Off the edge. 19 against touch AC. That's a hit. Minimum damage, 10 points of damage. Oh boy. Alright, Galabras. Oh man. I'm gonna cast Spiritual Weapon.

Oh, I like that. Interesting. Yeah. So a ghostly hammer, much like the hammer of Oskroth, appears next to the creature and attacks it as if it were wielded by me. So it will miss. Oh, it comes out this round.

Yeah, yeah. Well, it uses your wisdom bonus, not your... Oh, no, that's right. Okay. So it uses your base plus your wisdom. Right. So that's 19 to hit. That's a hit? Yeah! Alright. Three points of damage. Badass. Three points of damage. Badass.

Three points of damage. All right. Well, that was cool. That was very cool. We got a floating spiritual hammer. Yeah. Okay, it's its turn. Top of round five.

Yep, top of round five. And it, one more time, tries to use its power. It's its last chance of the day. Baron, roll a fortitude save oh that's low that's only ten Baron is permanently blind oh and it And it is Lork's turn. Oh, what? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You guys saved on that power from both of them five times.

Baron is permanently blind. Oh, Jesus. This is insane. Lork. I don't even know. All right, I'm going to shoot. So I'm going to do a rapid shot Two attacks First attack

Eighteen to hit Eighteen hits Four points of damage Second attack hits Natural sixteen Does Five points of damage so mad such low damage and green come yeah he stays with me Load, shoot. That's a 21. 21 hits.

Six points of damage. Six points of damage. It's still up. Oh, it's still up. I think he would tell us if it wasn't. Long story short, it eventually flutters away down into the garden. So it just disappears.

It flies away. All lorks' attacks did no damage. Gormley's attack, no damage. It's got DR. Oh. And so I'll just say over the next X amount of time it flutters away into the garden below and eventually glitter dust

wears off and Baron is blind there is 80 feet up to the ceiling I assume you say something about this now like you must say you can't see 80 feet down below to the garden as far as you know an ominous door ahead of you bathed in branches

and a blind gunslinger. Got a week to figure that one out. Is that it already? That's it, jerks. Oh, my God. Son of a bitch. Drops the mic. Or the headphones.

This is depressing. Outro Music