The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 49 - Gentlemen Prefer Blinds

Episode Date: May 3, 2016

On the heels of the blindingly magnificent battle on the bridge, the heroes encounter a mysterious and ancient denizen of the Vault. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. Just follow me, Baron. I won't lead you into any danger. Mostly. Baron's loss of vision leaves him unprotected. Right over Baron's head. Oh my god. This is awful. He's blind and alone in the... Oh my god. And makes him desperate for a cure. There's a button on the wall that says, blind?

Push this. It actually is in braille. Galabras attempts to negotiate. Galabras gestures everyone else to stay back and he takes a couple of steps forward and he says, we are here as friends. But Troy gets delusions of grandeur. The prophecies have spoken this Troy.

But Troy gets delusions of grandeur. The prophecies have spoken this Troy. He's a wise and powerful leader. This is going to be intense. I can honestly say this is a first. The adventure digs deeper into the vault right now. Well, well, well, look what happened. We did it again. We made another episode.

We actually did it. Another week. We're coming up on a year and I am so pumped that we're still going and that it's getting bigger and bigger. And I have you to thank for it. No question about it. Thank you for tuning in on your iOS or Android device. Thank you for tuning in on your iOS or Android device. Thank you for tuning in on your way to work every day in and out of the car and all that commuting nonsense.

Thank you for stopping doing your homework that you really should be doing and tuning into the Glass Cannon podcast. And thank you for just not listening to all those people that told you you're a complete nerd and a loser for listening to a D&D podcast. You are the smarter one. Trust me. And you're going to get paid back for it this time. You are going to be rewarded for your investment in the show because episode 49 is not an episode that you will forget anytime soon. Mark my words. But before we get into it, I do want to take a few minutes to talk to you about our recent trip to PAX East. We went up to Boston. We were in PAX East. Troy and I to spread the word of the GCP, try out new games, see what's going on in the gaming world. And it was a spectacular, spectacular trip. Really, I want to bring it up just because I want to talk to those of you that

don't know about PAX or those of you that know about it and have never gone. It is the Penny Arcade Expo, and it is now, you could call it a global event. It takes place in Boston in the spring. It takes place in Seattle. It's called PAX Prime in fall-ish. And then I'm not sure when it is. Maybe this summer they do PAX Australia and I think that there's a PAX in Texas now as well so definitely look it up look into it all it is is a

huge gaming convention for every different kind of gamer whether you're a hardcore video gamer or a board gamer or strategy games or party games mean, there were people there that were just hanging out playing drinking games. I mean, it is really a great, great time, and it gets a huge turnout, and you should not miss out on it if you have the opportunity to go. We had a great time. We actually played a little D&D 5th Edition, actually. We got run through it. We had never played before, Troy and I.

We sat down, got a through it. We had never played before. Troy and I, we sat down, got a few demos. And all in all, I'd say Troy was completely unimpressed. I think he just hated it. But he is a Pathfinder purist. I'm not much of an Edition Wars guy, but I was trying to keep an open mind. I just didn't really see much that jumped out at me as like, you have to make a change. This mechanic is amazing. It was just not much different. And for the most part, it felt a little bit novice, but it was a demo. Of course, it was going to be pretty novice, but I didn't really see anything at the demo level jump out at me. And that's what demos are supposed to do, to be honest.

We did play Pathfinder as well, which was so fun. To be honest, we did play Pathfinder as well, which was so fun. We got to play with some Pathfinder Society Lodge members from Connecticut and Massachusetts. And that was a blast. And we got to meet some Glass Cannon fans. Chris, Ian, it was so nice meeting you guys. Thanks for taking the time out to talk to us. It was a pleasure. And I hope you enjoyed yourself at the convention.

And hey, good luck with your Rise of the Rune Lords game. But I think that that's really all I wanted to talk about. I mean, I could go on and on about all the board games Troy and I demoed that we're interested in, the Kickstarters we thought looked cool, the games that we wanted to follow up on, but it's just, there's so many, it would just be such a waste of time before you get to get into episode 49. So with that, let me just ask you one more time, uh, shamelessly for you to, if you haven't already jump over to iTunes and give us a rating. I know a lot of you don't even listen to it through iTunes, but if there's any way for

you to do that for us, it would be great just because it's a, it's such a marketing thing to be able to get high ratings on iTunes. And we have had like 10 in the last week, like 10 new ones in the last week. And I can't even tell you how much that helps. And then also don't forget to email us, glasscanonpodcast at gmail.com. We are getting emails from you guys every day. We're getting emails from all over the world, literally every day. And we're responding to all that we can. And it is so much fun. And it really keeps us going. It keeps us wanting to do these episodes and make ourselves better and play these characters in an interesting and different way. And it's advice from you guys that really helps. So please help us out.

Chip in. Do your part. And that's really all we ask. But for now, you just need to sit back and relax. You're done with work. You're not working right now. You're going to relax and really sink your're done with work. You're not working right now. You're going to relax and really sink your teeth into episode 49. Hey, Baron, see much?

Jesus. Who said that? What? Are you blind? Oh my God. I can't see anymore, guys, but I can hear the voice of a malevolent being that seems to be the cause of all of our problems and woes. I was thinking about this last night as I was prepping the sesh. Like, a lot of times in Pathfinder, you'll get strength damage or con damage or you'll become paralyzed or blinded or shaken or whatever. And then a couple rounds later it's over and uh i don't think it's a discredit to the system in a good like a good party makeup you should have a healer that's able to like take care of these things so that you can get back in the fight or right when the fight ends come over and like heal your strength damage or heal your

con damage or heal your blindness so i'm like all right so i guess we'll start the sesh um we got to figure out baron's blindness and then i was like, I wonder how they do it. Let me just look. Oh, okay. I guess they could do dispel magic or remove blindness. Oh, wait a minute. Those are third level cleric spells. They sure are. And skid is only a fourth level cleric and you don't get access to third level cleric spells until your fifth level. Yep. So Baron is literally permanently blind until you can find a means of removing that blindness. Grant, your thoughts. Well, it's been real nice playing with y'all.

I really, you know know at the time I thought it'd be cool For Skid to have That armor Now I kind of wish that Joe had taken it So that he would be at the requisite Cleric level

To help aid me when I need it But I'm guessing That I think the best thing that'll happen is to have Galabras walk me around the battlefield. Walk you off the bridge? Point me in a direction and then give me a bit of luck and say, hopefully you get a critical. I mean, obviously it sucks,

but it's kind of amazing in a storytelling standpoint. I mean, it really feels like you're reading a fantasy novel at this point. The gunslinger who has just started to do crazy damage 19 damage 18 damage doing 40 plus damage per round uh is now blind with no end in sight i would love to know what the conditions for fleeing were on those uh things that blinded me with their last gasp of breath that's a fucked up evil thing wouldn't they try to kill us or run away or something when he saw his other friend go down?

Fuck you. They're weird little creatures. And what's amazing is you guys saved, I think, five times on that, what they were trying to do. If it's the last thing I do, I will blind at least this dwarf. Yeah, it's just fucking... I will be remembered for all time.

And by the way, I'm picturing those things as the bee from Honey Nut Cheerios. Just like a little motherfucker. That's exactly what they look like. With bigger eyes. Well, now I'm mad picturing that. So, yeah, I don't know. So the spells are remove blindness or what's the other one?

Dispel magic. Dispel magic. blindness or what's the other one uh dispel magic dispel um to my knowledge those are the only ways uh baron can have his blindness removed well even if you were to kill that creature a spell with the duration of permanent doesn't go away would a potion of remove curse have worked no no because it's not a it's not a curse it's a a different kind of affliction. Yeah, I can't think of anything. A heal spell would work if we can wait until I get to 11th level. You guys want to just go back on the forest and kill spiders? Yeah.

Just to grind to 11th? Yep. Fascinating. Now, let's see what happens with blindness. You think, oh, you can't see. Is that it? Nope. Creatures take a minus two penalty to AC.

They lose their dex bonus to AC and take a minus four penalty on strength and dex-based skill checks and on opposed perception skill checks. Don't think he'll be doing a lot of perception checks. He can hear. He can hear. He can hear real well.

That's true. He can't. All opponents are considered to have total concealment. 50% mischance against the blinded character. Oh my god. Creatures must make a DC 10 acrobatic skill check to move faster than

half speed or they fall on their face. And acrobatics incidentally is a dexterity based skill check. So DC 10 and you have a minus four four and i get no saves against it to like once a day or anything like that you had your save no i know but i didn't know if they're rolling so you had your save now i don't like the way skit said that you had your save now what uh yeah no it's it's one of those one of those

things wait but you could use so a heel check wouldn't be able to treat blindness deafness no no no a heel spell uh yeah you are you are you are blind since when does a gunslinger need eyes dude i don't need i don't mechanically i i think it actually mirrors like the narrative or the story at this moment. We could be playing it out in the moment, and he would be completely freaked out, and we would all be completely freaked out. And I, as a player, am completely freaked out. There's no way that we can possibly succeed without dying.

I mean, we just lost our number one damage dealer. Our number one damage dealer is down. And he's an unbelievably easy target as well. And he can just fall off a bridge if he's not careful. I don't think I would go any further if I were blind. If I were actually in this environment, I wouldn't march forward. I also kind of wonder, now that I'm thinking about it,

magical people nearby, maybe Mossmoon wants to help. I don't know. That's a thought. That's my first thought. I don't nearby, maybe Mossmoon wants to help. I don't know. That's a thought. That's my first thought. I don't know, maybe. Right, it's like one thing if you were still on the keelboat, and you're like, all right, let's just stop at a nearby castle. You guys are miles into the swamp.

We're in an alternate dimension. In an alternate reality. There's no chance that that dwarf is a cleric outside, right? No, no. She is a ranger. Yeah, this is very, very fascinating. Let's take it back a little bit just to give some more context. So you guys obviously touched the central men here,

entered this realm before you stood this beautiful floral bloom carved from wood door. You were attacked by these little twig jacks that weren't doing crazy damage they just kind of came up to you like poked you with uh little wooden spears and then you guys just uh came back pretty furious at them and then they opened up their chests and shot thorns at you you eventually dispatched them um and then you open the doors and there's this giant bridge, huge dome chamber, really, really hot, and these weird little creatures came down and tried to do things to you.

You kept saving and saving and saving and saving. Gormley, with some excellent use of Glitter Dust, made these invisible creatures visible. You were able to dispatch of one, and then one, right before it went away, blinded Baron and then just floated down to the garden floor. And now you are standing on the bridge. Didn't Baron throw a fishing lure down or something?

It was the best. He had a fish on. It was something big down there. Moment of glory. Right before you guys rolled initiative something snapped the line but we're not in combat right now right now you are out of combat and I think in addition to Baron's blindness

everybody's in pretty rough shape there's been a lot of spell issues I'm okay too they didn't do really attack so much but you guys burned a lot of things we killed both of them right? no the one that cursed you the one that blinded you

we can hunt him down and ask him to dispel it if we if like you can have a caster dismiss a spell by threatening their life and you say you either die or we let you live if you get rid of this if you were to charm the creature or something if it is a dispelling it is a spell yeah if it's intelligent and if it's and if it's a spell can i roll is dispellable. If it's intelligent and if it's a spell. Can I roll a knowledge nature to see if it's intelligent? Yes, you may. So it wasn't alchemical. It was the spell blindness, deafness.

It was a spell-like ability. Okay. 15. 15. You got it right on the nose. It is an intelligent creature, and it is dispellable. Yes, yes, yes yes thank you google all right so we know it's it went it flew down into the area beneath the bridge right into the

gardens you guys are on the bridge and before you about 40 feet away stands another door that's covered with our ironwood branches a dome 80 feet above you and 80 feet below you is a completely overgrown garden that you can't even see the bottom of. Well, I can get down there. The glitter dust should still be in effect for at least the next couple minutes, right? I mean, by the time, no. So I would have to recast it to see it.

Yeah. That's the thing is when it's not moving, it's completely invisible. So it's probably also just. I would also not recommend going down there. We know something as big as down there. Do we have a rope enough to get everybody else down there? Or to draw it up anyway? I don't think that there's any part of that that's a good idea.

Like if we're on a rope or you're flying and we know something big is down there and we don't know where the floor is it's and baron is blind it's just i think we should just go through the door and try to find our way down with our feet under us does one other thing i wish i had knowledge nature i'd roll this myself is there anything that we can do to lure out that creature something is there a check we do to see if they're attracted to some sort of food i'm thinking about why don't you look in your tackle box you fucking took you took my pole away from you oh yeah uh probably not yeah this thing as far as you know is gone you'll never see it again but maybe you will

who well that is that that is at least some some light at the end of the tunnel there might be a way out um if we can find that thing also you guys remember that gi joe movie that uh like roadblock was blind and he uh the animated movie yeah yeah that moved me and like cobra commander uh like helped roadblock and he was turning into a snake the whole time yeah yeah they made cobra commander sort of like a sympathetic figure and roadblock yeah it was an amazing yeah amazing movie don johnson was in that yes yeah yeah and uh yeah baron you're uh you're roadblock you're a roadblock. You're a roadblock to these guys living. Well, with one damage dealer down,

maybe I'll volunteer to be Baron's guide so Glabrous can be prepared to defend us. Will you be my eyes? Stay in your lane. Sorry. Here's one other question. Empowering a heal doesn't add shit like remove blind? stay in your lane. Here's one other question. Empowering a heal doesn't add shit like remove blind.

Sorry. I was thinking about the magical place. Yeah, when I realized last night that you didn't have dispel magic and blindness, I started looking like, how else can you remove it? Barely any other way. I don't think there is another way. Is there a mechanic? We've done like, was it assist attack

or aid attack right can you do that with range uh no but the only thing that you can do my understanding would be is to uh tell your ally where enemies are you know as a free action give them squares to shoot at and i and i really don't think that he should be shooting at anything that is in melee combat with an ally but if something is out there his allies can tell him where it is and he can take a shot talking is always a free action

so I mean you guys are just going to have to constantly be telling him what to do and where things are it's just going to be total concealment the whole time 50% mischance and then minus to the AC concealment the whole time. 50% mischance. Right. And then minus to the AC, minus to the strength index. I also have to take a DC10

acrobatics check to move faster than half speed. Yes. Sorry, I wasn't listening. I understand. His blood boiling in his ears. I'd be pretty upset too. It makes you frustratingly ineffective without lucky rolls,

but it's really exciting because we'll probably all die. Let's charge forward. How many times have we said that? Move along. We should keep an eye out for any secrets. There's probably not doors in here, but there might be some secret or a cache or something.

I'm thinking back to there being a Ghostbane dirge scroll somewhere else. This also might just be a death dungeon that wouldn't have an out like that, but if we keep an eye out for things like that. Might have a potion of remove blindness. There's a button on the wall that says blind? Push this. It actually is in Braille. I have some cookies for you, Troy, that say, eat me on them. So fuck you.

Well, yeah, I do think that, you know, Lork is kind of like, you know, we'll guide him through and we'll try to find this creature and maybe we can get him to dispel it. But for now, we've got to move forward. Just follow me, Baron. I won't lead you into any danger, mostly. I do. Galabath does a heel check I know

Skid knows it won't do anything But I just want to look at his eyes Right and you just see like Bowls of milk You say Your heel check consists of you going How many fingers? Yeah

Between one and ten He's fine Here's your driver's license back Mr. Redheart Between one and ten. Oh, God. He's fine. Here's your driver's license back, Mr. Red Heart. Well, I mean, I just don't think we have a choice. I don't think. I mean, what are we going to do? Go all the way back to the boat and give up?

I mean, we could give up. We can't go back to the cache of items and just try to go to Red Lake four blind. That was an accidental mess up i'll never forgive myself but at some point you know once you level up he can heal but and there's like there are a couple possibilities in this dungeon that might we also don't know what the magical items are i think we go we do step by step and after one run, I think there's going to be something awful in this dungeon that we're not going to be able to kill without me seeing. And I think it's going to kill all of us.

Well, we could also maybe flee if we see we're up against... I can't flee, though. That's just like... It just keeps falling. Guys, wait up! Alright. What do you think?

Move forward? Let's go forward. Yeah. So we just have this door in front of us, right? Yep. And similar to the door that was carved out of the floral bloom, there are ironwood branches crossing every which way in front of it. All right.

I'd like to do another perception check down below just to see if there's any movement or sign of that thing. I'll do it as well. 25. 25. 25. 23. 15. You see all sorts of movement in here,

like all sorts of animal sounds, but you don't see any trace of the lurker that was attacking you on the bridge. Okay, so Galabras, last time you went up and you touched the branches and they just sort of like separated and then we got attacked. So do you want to do the same thing, touch the branches and I'll ready an action? I will. Yeah, I'll go up to the door and gently place my hand upon it. I'm going to ready my bow to fire at anything that might seem to attack us when he tries to touch it.

Already burning hands. Okay. No, ear-piercing scream. Lays his hand. No, no burning hands. No. I don't want to burn Lork or Galabras. Plus you're holding Baron's hand.

Oh, oh, oh! My hand! My hand! So Galabros comes up, lays his hand upon the door. So Lork's like pulling the bow back. And all of the branches just recede back, opening a passageway straight to the door. I push the door to open it. The door opens.

And this is what you see. It is a chamber. And along the walls of the chamber, starting to your left and going all around the circumference of the room, there's a series of detailed wood carvings depicting druidic worship, just decorating the walls of the room.

To the southeast of the room, there's a short flight of stairs that leads to a dais, upon which sits a throne crafted of dead, overgrown brambles and thorns. This is cool. And atop the... I wish Baron could see this. Yes.

There is a door to the north and another door to the northwest, just to your right of where you enter. And upon the throne sits an old elven woman. What? Played by Helen Mirren. Oh, nice. And she looks like this.

Oh, wow. Check out the old tumble. She is an elf. It's young Helen Mirren. an elf it's young Helen Mirren wow it's young Helen Mirren the cook, the thief, the wife and his lover era

his wife and her wife she kind of she kind of looks like a hipster equivalent of Galarian she's got very cool clothes so she is sitting on this throne of brambles on the top of the dais.

Before we get to her, now that you can see more into the room. Well. Fuck you. Sorry. I can't resist. Now that you can hear more into the room. Do you guys step in,

or do you stay at the... Oh, when I open the door, or when I guess Calabrus opened the door, so when I see this, what looks like an elf druid on this throne, I pull my bow down. I keep an arrow knocked, but I pull the bow down. And I stand there and wait. Okay. To see if she says anything.

All right. Before I get to her, I'm just going to give you more setup for what you're looking at. So those wood carvings around the room, there's 21 of them carved into all types of wood. Alder, ash, birch, fir, maple, oak, pine, just hanging upon the council's chamber walls. You can see very quickly that it's telling the story of the druid's sacrifice. Wow.

This is like the railing that Baron did on the ship. Exactly. Ironic. Fucking copycat. If you want to look more intently at those later, I can tell you what they are. But as you walk in, Helen Mirren slowly lifts her head and looks at you and says,

be you friend or be you foe? Galabras kind of raises his hand and kind of gestures everyone else to stay back and he takes a couple of steps forward and he says, blessings of nature be upon you. We are here as friends of the natural world. In Druidic. In Druidic. Yeah. She says back to you, in Druidic,

what is your name? I am called Galabras Finn, and I apologize for my accent. My druidic accent, I'm sure it's atrocious. Do your friends speak druidic as well? No, I am the only one. I see. She then switches over to Common, and she says, You are most welcome here.

My name is Ewigr, and I am the guardian of the Vault of Thorns. Please, come in. Lork will come in, he'll stow the bow. And you walk in, and now you can see a better idea, a better look at these panels. The initial panel, you can see there's a bunch of orcs rampaging across a marsh until they're met by a group of druids.

The next several carvings show the orcs battling the valiant but vastly outnumbered druids and routing them back to a circle of standing stones. The next panel depicts the druids prostrating themselves before a single large stone men here. I assume you mean prostrating and not prostating. Sorry, I have to pee. They've been paid in millions of geldings.

Prostrating. And then it's followed by another series of carvings showing the druids, some of which in animal form and some in human form, accompanied by all manner of beasts and plant creatures, issuing forth from a giant carved blossom and marching with renewed vigor into the center of the orc horde. The last few panels illustrate a solemn scene of sacrifice wherein the druids slay themselves.

And then as the druids' bodies fall to the ground, strange glowing orbs of light rise from the mud of the swamp. The last panel depicts these spheres of light punching through the orc invaders in murderous retribution, driving the orcs from the marsh in terror. I described all of that to Baron whispering in his ear. Sorry, my head has been everywhere being blinded and being upset about it. What race did you say she was? Elf.

Okay, so you tell me she's an elf as well? Yes. So dwarves typically don't like elves, but because he's at a weird disadvantage and because he understands this is a mystical place that he is not a master of like he would be in a city or something like that, and the fact he knows that elves are normally pious and sanctimonious, as Gormley leads him up, he takes a knee to this elvish druid,

kind of like in deference to her. Like, I'm in your place, kind of like to a king almost, or a princess. She says, please, please, that's not necessary. What brings you to the Vault of Thorns? We were told by Silvermane, guardian of the Hope Spring and True Now, that we may find weapons here that may aid us in our attempts

to vanquish the orcs at Red Lake Fort. Ah, Silvermane. Now there's a name I haven't heard in a long time. He yet lives, yes? Yes. How goes he? He is a mute.

I don't know if he was able to speak when you knew him, but he is unable to speak now. Ah, it's been so long. I can't remember most of my friends. So he sent you here to retrieve something? Yes, he gave us this. He gave, and I raised the lantern.

Ah, yes. I see. Sense great magic coming from that. Clearly this is how you entered. Well, you'll excuse me, I haven't spoken to anyone in many, many years. I'm sure by now you've noticed there is great evil within the vault. I am surprised you were able to make it through. For many years, whilst we druids lived in the vault, we lived with companions, both fae and otherwise, but we lived

in some sense of harmony. Now that my brothers and sisters have passed and left me as the only guardian, it wasn't long before these invaders became more frequent, and a great evil has entered the Vault of Thorns. I have confined myself to this room for longer than I can even remember, in silent meditation, hoping and praying for the day that PCs such as yourself, hoping and praying for a group of good-hearted individuals to find this place and help me rid the vault of these fey and disgusting invaders. I am but old, and I don't have all of my magics as I once did,

but I can help you and aid you in any way possible if this is something you're interested in. In the meantime, you are welcome to rest here. It is safe, one of the few safe places here. Thank you, my lady. And if I can be so bold to ask, It is safe, one of the few safe places here. Thank you, my lady. And if I can be so bold to ask,

our companion has suffered an attack that has rendered him blind. Do you have any power within you to alleviate this? Step forward, dwarf. I kind of put my hand on my companions And I actually Yeah yeah yeah And I hobble my way forward And fall to my feet in front of her He trips on the steps Watch out for this

Oh Baron there's a step How embarrassing for you. The elf says, she's liking it. Let me see. Oh my, yes, this must do terrible things to both your AC and strength and dex base checks. Unfortunately, this power is beyond me. Have you no cleric in your group?

I am a cleric, but I made the mistake of taking a level in fighter. Put me one behind forever. Yes, multi-classing is always a difficult decision. It's a double-edged sword. But as I'm sure you know, Dis magic and blindness are third level cleric spells But fourth level druid spells And that is beyond my comprehension What level of druid are you?

I don't wish to speak of such things Perhaps you also suffer from a GM known as Troy Who encourages multi-classing And bullies us into doing it. The prophecies have spoke of this Troy. He is a wise and powerful leader. All knowing.

All knowing. That's amazing. He rolls with a way to die. Are you betrayed in the carvings? Like at the end, it's just me giving two thumbs up. Uh, is going to wait to die. We betrayed in the carvings like at the end. It's just me giving two thumbs up. I'm so sorry.

I can offer you rest and safety in this room but unfortunately the powers to remove your blindness are sadly beyond me.

Are there any other good creatures in this vault anywhere that you know may be isolated or captured anywhere? I would like to believe that somewhere there is still good in this place. But since I've been confined to here,

I can only imagine what great evils have found their way in. This is a... This was once a holy place, but now it needs cleansing. We were surprised to find creatures of evil here. Do you know where they came from, how they were able to infiltrate this place? The film between these dimensions is rather thin. And without the protection of the council,

over the years it has become thinner and thinner. Any creatures who possess any type of magic would be able to find a way in here. You say you used this lantern? Yes. You say you used this lantern? Yes. That was most likely a faster way to get in, but there are other ways.

Hmm. Hmm. What is beyond these doors? It has been many years since I've passed through these doors. Obviously, you've crossed the bridge and entered through the floral bloom. To your right, there on the far side of the room, is a chamber that was used for seed storage. It's completely safe, and there may be things in there that you can use beyond this door. And she points off to the right,

so the north side of the room. To our left. Yeah, to your left. The other side. To the north side of the room, her right. Stage right. She says, I'm sorry to say it's been probably 200 plus years since I've walked through that door.

I want to ask a quick question to her. I say, I know you've been in here. I can't cure your blindness. Stop asking. No, I'm sorry. What did you want? I'm not the only person here with a one-track mind. I say, I know you haven't left

this room for years, but to your knowledge, the room you mentioned with the bridge, what lived in there? All manner of creatures. It was a place where nature was safe, and I would think there's still elements

of good in there as well. But I sense evil permeating every part of this vault. Can we check out, with her permission, I'd like to check out the seed room. By all means, please. I guide Baron through it as well. I go over there and open the door. You open the door, and it's a 20 by 20 foot room.

Pretty small. And it's packed with crates, burlap sacks, gardening tools. Potions of removed blindness. Potions of removed, at least several potions of remove blindness potions of remove at least several potions of remove blindness and then there's seeds that have been planted here just blooming

into all all manner of like herbs and what not and you notice that all of the gardening tools are like rusted and deteriorating like they haven't been touched in, yeah, obviously centuries, whereas the blooms and the seeds are as fresh as ever. And Galabras, you just sense there's a purity within this room that has kept the living things alive,

uh, and destroyed the, uh, you know, carbon based items. Can I do a knowledge nature on the plants to see if any of them would be useful for potion purposes or anything like that? Uh,

yeah, absolutely. 26, 26 knowledge and H, uh, you find 12 exotic seeds that

you don't think that they could particularly be turned into any potion but they're valuable and you also find a pouch containing 13 good berries ooh those are great actually they're good

and that's it that yeah that's all you see in that room by the way plants are also carbon-based troy i'm sorry uh can i do an out can i do an alchemical check just by feeling and smelling and tasting on on the plants in this room to see if there's anything of alchemical value in there? Sure. So you just take a couple things. Smell them. They taste extremely fresh, like they were just planted today. 21.

But you don't detect anything alchemical amongst them. They're more just like valuable seeds rare exotic seeds that wouldn't you could search for years and go slight marsh and never find so you might be able to get like rare orchids right you might be able to get a good price on the on the plant market farmer's market but other than that should we appraise any of the seeds or just move on yeah? Or just move on? Yeah, let's just move on. Yeah, I think we should rest and then set out through the other door. Yep, I'm in. Has anyone hurt?

Just two points. I'll rest. Just down a couple. Oh, well. You can channel. I'll channel. Three points. Iwiga says, I don't know how long you've been in here, but if you haven't realized already, you do not fatigue in here.

And you have no need to sleep or ever eat or drink. I'm sure you, if you have casters among you, you must spend the appropriate amount of time in prayer, study or meditation to regain your spells. But you have no reason to sleep. You will regain your vigor just through time. Cool. So does that mean we still need to take the eight hours? Yeah, I mean, if you want your spells back. And to get your whatever HP you're going to regain.

But you don't feel tired or hungry at all. All right. I spend the time that I would be sleeping reading through some of these scrolls and books that I took with me from True Now. I sharpen my gun on a whetstone, as per usual. Just let him be. He doesn't know any better.

Gormley finds a private moment to ask Howie what he thinks about the situation about Barron being blind. Sucks, dude. You have any more advice other than that? My uncle was blind. That sounds terrible. He got hit with a bottle at the St. Patrick's Day parade. Never saw again. Never saw it coming.

Never saw it coming. All right. So let's set Let's go And I'm gonna keep working With Ben Vereen on Training Okay And then

And again Are you like hiding a Goodberry Somewhere in the room Ben Find the Goodberry Find the Goodberry I guess We should probably explain

What Goodberries are Yeah I have no idea I feel like we have a segment Oh Not sure why you did that I don't know I thought you liked the song I love that song

We'll play it again later Yeah Goodberries It's the result of a spell That druids can cast and it creates these little magical berries that each one of them when eaten cures one point of damage uh up to eight points over a 24 hour period so they heal you so would you eat one preemptively before you were damaged or after you're no no after you heal so we should all take a good berry or two with us. How many of them were there?

12? 13. Lucky 13. So everyone take four. Three. And someone gets an extra. Lork. I'll take four.

All right. All right, so we're resting. Going to give one to Ben Breen? All right. No, he doesn't eat it. He eats potatoes but not good berries? He refuses. You spoil him. I don't understand No, he doesn't need it. He eats potatoes, but not good berries. He refuses. You spoil him.

I don't, I don't understand. He just won't take it. I don't know why. Okay. So you guys are resting. Yeah. So,

uh, get our spells back, get our abilities back. And she, you know, upon further asking. So can we ask her, could you accompany us deeper into the vault?

Yes. Yes. I, I will do my best to aid you in any way I can. It's just been a long time since I've used my magic, but if there's anything I can do to help, my powers are yours. How is it that the evil creatures are not able to enter this room? There are inevitable inconsistencies from the fell influence from the first world, but they, however intelligent they may be,

they never decided to touch the branches and make them move and enter the room, I guess. Perhaps the spirits of my brothers and sisters are granting this room a sense of sanctuary that they don't dare come into. I like to believe that they're still with me in my silent meditation. But it could also just be luck.

All right, let's go. Okay, let's go through the door. You seem hurried, Clark. I'm really, let's go through the door. You seem hurried. I am. I'm really bored after eight hours of not sleeping. Very well. She was in here for 200 years. I know.

I can only imagine how you feel. He spent there eight hours. How is she not out of her mind? Yeah, not sleeping. She'd go crazy. All right, Lork will open the door. Alright, let me describe

what you see in this room. There is an ornate staircase descending to a small platform. So you go down into the room. How far down?

20 feet. Oh, so it's a pretty long staircase. Pretty long staircase. Steep. There it went. There's the end. In front of you, several giant lily pads sway gently in the chamber's air currents, each of them floating at a different height

leading across the room. A sheer drop in front of you and under the lily pads fades into darkness. There is a droning... This is like a Super Mario Brothers world. Yeah, this is a platformer. This is a platformer. It's a Zelda temple.

It's the forest temple in Zelda. There is a droning buzz reverberating off the chamber's walls. Constant just... They have air conditioning here? Central air. You can see at the other end of the chamber, there is a second platform higher up. So actually in level with the entrance that you came in.

So it's 20 feet. If you go down the bottom of the stairs, on the other side of the room is another platform that's 20 feet up. So those lily pads are all at different heights, kind of leading across the room to this other platform 20 feet up and a staircase that leads out of the room. So it would stand to reason that there's almost no way that Baron can get across this room, right? Like, it's just

you have to jump from lily pad to lily pad lily pad to lily pad across the room? Yes. That's what it appears to be. There is a five foot wide gap separating each lily pad requiring an acrobatics check to jump across. Okay. Unless you come up with other solutions. I have... We'll call them

creative solutions. Well, can Gormley, can you cast Levitate on someone? I cannot. However, I can cast Jump, which would give you a plus 10 enhancement bonus for an acrobatics check to attempt high jumps or long jumps. Oh. So I could give that to Baron. You might as well jump. Oh, no, I'm

sorry. It's a plus 20, because I'm cast to level 5. Oh, fuck yeah. That'll get me across. So what is it? A plus 20 to acrobatics checks? To attempt high jumps or long jumps. Which for a blind person, I would argue that this constitutes a pretty difficult jump. The only problem being it's neither a high jump nor a long jump.

Unless I jumped from one to a third. No, it's a long jump. A long jump? Five feet? Five feet's a long jump. Yeah, I'm thinking. No, no, no, it's not about how long it is. It's jumping horizontally versus jumping vertically. Right, right, right, right. Okay.

All right, so you could cast that on him, and how long does it last? Let's see. One minute per level, so he'd have it for five minutes. So for five minutes. So for five minutes. So you can see in front of you there are one, two, three. There's five lily pads in the room. On the left side of the room, there's like one, two, three. On the right side of the room is one, two, but they're all at different heights.

However, it's still five feet across. It's a DC-10 acrobatics chair. Well, how different are the heights? Are they just a few feet different? Yeah. Those don't affect the... Well, that's what makes a DC DC 10 and not just DC 5 because they're differing heights. Can we do it in stages so that

maybe if Lork were to lead the way since he's the strongest and maybe throw a rope down and hold on to it or something? I mean, we can tie a rope to you as a secondary matter, but I mean, at this point, you're more guaranteed than I am. I have a minus one acrobatics. I mean, I could remove my armor.

I could give you jump as well. Oh, how does that work? It's a first level spell. Oh, okay. I mean, I've been using up spell slots to do it, but... Seems worth it. I think you still have to roll, because if you roll a one, you fail, right? No.

No. On skill checks, no? No. Nope. Jeez. Okay. I'm just trying to see if there's a way around that. I mean, I'm going to fly.

Right. And I have a minus eight to acrobatics so you need it too yeah so yeah jumps all around well yeah you're sure i mean that's that first level stuff that's three first level spells of five really that i can use so that would that would hurt us going forward. Or we die here. Can I proceed to see if I can see? You said it's bottomless? You just can't see the bottom. It just goes straight into darkness.

And Lurk has dark vision, so it's more than 60 feet? Correct. I cast light on a copper piece and drop it down. Let me note that in our loot chart. All right, so you cast light on a copper piece, drop it down. It goes past 60 feet, and then you see it. A tiny, tiny little light eventually hit the bottom. Oh, okay.

Did it look like it went through anything, like trees or anything like that? No, just straight down. And stopped. And stopped. Meanwhile, you still hear the... How far down is it? Between 100 and 120 feet, you think. Wow. I turn to a Wigga and ask her what this room is.

I know you haven't left in a long time, but perhaps at one point you knew what this room is. I know you haven't left in a long time, but perhaps at one point you knew what this room was. Yes, this is all coming back to me. We had to protect ourselves from not only fey invaders, but from magical marauders, for lack of a better word, who sought not only to take our knowledge, but our... Freedom. Our freedom.

But everything we had as a group. So we built rooms such as this to make it difficult to make your way through the vault. So I actually ask then at that point, since perhaps you have some knowledge of these places, is there any advice or help you could give us in traversing such a weird place that my friend Gormley has explained to me we're facing?

I say as long as you have two eyes in your head, you should be fine. Oh, man. Gormley has explained to me we're facing? I say as long as you have two eyes in your head, you should be fine. Oh, man. All right, let's just get going. Tell me how you want to resolve all this. We got to talk. So, Galabras, what's your acrobatics?

It's minus one if I'm not wearing my armor, but it's minus eight with the armor on. So I could give you jump and guidance. Unless you roll a one, you should make it. Yeah. Okay. And then, and you're going to give me jump as well. I'll give you guidance as well, just to limit.

And I get jump? Yeah, you should. I'll give you all jump plus guidance, so you should get an extra plus one on it. Yeah, just our first one, though. Every time we land, I can guidance you again. I can cast it. It's a cantrip. I can cast it much no more. Okay, cool.

And it lasts for one minute per level. Jump does, yeah. Someone's got to be behind me to point me towards the next lowly pad, I would think. I'd like to do a perception for any danger in the room. I don't want to get out there and then get attacked by something that i didn't can i do it they didn't look for a perception or knowledge nature on the buzzing 14 uh 14 you don't you don't see anything shit all you hear is that buzzing son of a bitch uh yeah you could do it you could do a knowledge nature on the buzzing could i at first ask uiga which on the buzzing? Could I at first ask Uyghur what the buzzing is?

And she just tells you how things have changed. There's things in here I don't know, but it may be nothing. 23. It doesn't sound harmful. I mean, we're going to get attacked. He drew the map. It's going to be attacked. Yeah, right. He drew the map.

I mean, we're going to encounter. It's going to be bad. I drew the council chamber, too. Let that be. I really like the way I did stairs. Because you have to fall back into the council chamber to fight. The dais, but anyways. You're quite the artist.

Troy. So tell me how this is all going to work out. So you cast, cast, cast. You cast three first level spells and three cantrips on your buddies. Now, Galabros, you have a minus eight to your acrobatics. Yes. But this is giving you a plus 21 with guidance. And then Baron, your minus with your being blind.

So I'm going to have a 28 acrobatics check. So as long as I get pointed, I'll bebatics check. So as long as I get pointed, I'll be good. What's the DC of the jump? Acrobatics DC 10. So none of you can miss it. Right. None of us have to roll. By the way, if you guys don't want the jump,

I will save the gates. I resist with all my might. Go ahead and jump, goddammit. I'm not going to fly quite yet I have a plus 8 acrobatics I'm just going to give myself guidance and make the jump So presumably Unless I roll a 1

So you're not going to fly I don't have to cast anything on myself So I'll assume before any of you makes an action And how many grasshoppers hind legs do you have? Because it's required to cast jump do you have a bag of this room but there's probably like a ton of them in here the druid like pulls one out of her mouth yeah between my teeth you haven't noticed i've been collecting them all along that's what she was doing before she left her now uh Okay, so I'll assume before any of you take an action

that that's going to be the last thing you do is cast that. So talk to me what's going to happen. All right, so I am going to arm my Falchion and jump out to the first lily pad with Benverine. Oh, I guess he has to attempt it. Benverine, what's going to happen with old Benverine? How heavy is Benverine? Benverine! With Ben Vereen Oh I guess he has to Ben Vereen What's gonna happen With oh How heavy is Ben Vereen

Ben Vereen How heavy is Ben Vereen Yes 40 pounds I don't know This guy is I think A font of Wolverine

With the belt of heavy load Would I be able to carry Ben Vereen on my acrobatics Jack You can't carry You can't carry another character It's any other character Doesn't work with heavy

load or mule bag cords. It's only equipment. I was thinking about this the other day. I'm not sure what to do

with Ben Vereen. What's his acrobatics? Plus seven. So he could he'll fall. So then

it's a DC 10. So I guess I could I'll tie a rope to Ben Vereen and I'll hold it.

You're going to tie a rope to Ben Vereen? No, that's not going to work. A leash. A leash. Ben Vereen is not going to deal with that.

You'll hang him to death. If I give him guidance, as long as you don't roll a one or a two. You can't give him guidance every jump. It's just not going to work. So the first one you can. Two or three. So it's me here we're talking about.

Fair enough. All right, so what I want to do is Lork's going to jump. Doom. To the first lily pad. Gromit's going to stand next to everybody who jumps like the guy by the paratroopers. Jump, jump, jump is Lork's going to jump, doom, to the first lily pad. Gromley's going to stand next to everybody who jumps, like the guy by the paratroopers.

Jump, jump, jump. Then he's going to turn around, and he's going to call Ben Vereen, tell him to come. He's going to do absolutely nothing. Here we go. How much, with all of your gear, does Lork weigh? gear does Lork weigh? He is

Lork weighs 262 pounds. I didn't even think of this. What a pig. Have another Goodberry, fatty. Don't body shame me. If only Baron could see you're good.

And then he's carrying 91 pounds. So that's 353 pounds. Nice knowing you. Refrigerator Perry is jumping onto this lily pad. The largest tight end in the NFL. All right, so you jumped on the one right to your left. Yeah. Right?

You jump on that lily pad, and it just swiftly descends. The largest tight end in the NFL. All right, so you jumped on the one right to your left. Yeah. Right? You jump on that lily pad, and it just swiftly descends all the way to the floor. Oh, my God. In the equivalent of one round. So you jump on there, and it just all the way to the floor, and you just hear as the lily pad hits like. Water. No, like squishiness Bodies And it stinks

Oh my god You're just surrounded by like a compost bin Oh man And right when you hit You just hear All these flies Oh shit I mean

Swarms You would think millions of flies just start shooting up all around you all these flies. Oh, Shayla swarms. You would think millions of flies just start shooting up all around you. You're like, oh my God, oh my God, don't touch me. Don't touch me. And you guys who are still on the platform up there just hear that buzzing come up and the whole room is full of flies.

What the? They aren't attacking you per se, but it's incredibly distracting. And Lork, you are down on the bottom of the pit. Lork! You realize that you've gone like 100 feet down. Lork! Lork!

Oh my God. And what else? Could you get my copper piece while you're down there? Oh, I found it. It's right here. I'll update the loot sheet. Thank you. I'll update the loot sheet.

Is it hard to see with all these flies the loot sheet is it uh is it hard to see with all these flies uh it is is it hard for everyone i didn't even get it yeah uh wow so there's uh this room that i'm in it's just compost let's do a perception check compost uh sure yeah you can see down there now uh 20 yeah it's just like soil uh in compost and you're surrounded by bugs now that most of them gone up to the top of the chamber but you're also like just swatting them all around you um okay maybe maybe there's a door on the bottom I will I'm gonna can I test the depth of the stuff or is it just like

can I stand in it do you want to step off the lily pad I want to test it you test it and it's just like stepping in mud I dive head first like Scrooge McDuck into gold so I test it in what

you test it and it feels like it gives a little but it's sturdy enough to stand on Dive headfirst. Like Scrooge McDuck into gold. So I tested in what? You tested in it feels like it gives a little, but it's sturdy enough to stand on. Okay. Then I'll call up to these guys that I'm going to try to step off the lily pad and see if the next person who jumps on, if it comes down, and we'll try to work out a puzzle or something,

but I'm going to step off it. You step off the lily pad? Yeah. It immediately rises back to the top. It's Zelda. It's Zelda. I know how to do this. Is it like the puzzle with the goose, the fox?

The fox and the bag of grain or whatever? Yeah. No, not quite. I fucking hate that puzzle. I never remember how to do it. I can't either. It always confuses me. You have to take the fox with you.

Oh, shut up. I'm telling you. I went to elementary school. You and your book limit. I probably would also sink. I'm going to give it a shot. I'm going to see if I sink too. I can fly, so I can get across.

Yeah, we should have Gormley test it. Because that would give us a better idea of weight. And then you won't be stuck down there. Then I fly so I can get across. We should have Gormley test it because that would give us a better idea of weight. And then you won't be stuck down there. Right. So I will take off the belt of heavy load and the stuff that I'm carrying for Baron.

And I'll jump over around. I'll cast Guidance on myself and then I'll jump over around to the first lily pad. So just a straight up jump with no... I'll cast Guidance on myself, and then I'll jump over onto the first lily pad. Okay, so just a straight-up jump with no... No, yeah. And I make it. Okay. How much do you weigh total?

With gear, 140. Gormley jumps over. Dun, dun, dun. And you're just standing on the lily pad. Ah. Floating there. Okay. All right.

Do you want to start throwing me objects and see at what point I start sinking? Just throw it back real quick? I don't think this is all necessary. Give Gormley the rope. We have 100 feet

of rope at least. She can fly across regardless. We can all try to get across and if any of us sink, whoever makes it across can brace the rope, and the people on the bottom can climb up with the aid of the rope. We also have to get Lorca up. With the rope.

So if you drop 100 feet of rope down, can he just climb up? Yeah. I can hop down and aid you a little bit with that guidance but no that's gonna be rough that's a long climb but a lot of knotted rope and this luck all right was it like a tent it's a climb check you should be good at that yeah and it's like a 10 DC it's a 5 DC with a rope. It's against the wall. It will be against the wall. On the opposite side.

The drop's straight down onto the platform. And there's a wall the whole way. I just imagine that this platform was hanging out over space, and there wasn't... If you dangle the rope off, is it up against a wall for 100 feet? Yeah.

Then I can't fail. If you tossangle the rope off, is it up against a wall for 100 feet? Yeah. Oh, well, yeah. Then I can't fail. All right. So toss me the rope. Okay. So what I'm going to do, Troy, is I'm going to... Wait, what are you waiting on with the rope? Kidding.

So what I'm going to do is... Let's just say I get the belt of heavy load. I have Baron stuff. I'm going to cast... Wait, do you have all that stuff it was just the armor right that was it I think that's all you were caring for and the belt of heavy load so the belt is the only weight difference okay uh so what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna cast guidance on myself and jump across from lily pad to lily pad and if it falls then I

can further I can levitate myself to and fly over can I should I follow him should someone point me to follow him should I try wait till I get the rope across. Okay. All right, so you want to jump, jump, jump. Yes. Across. Jump, guns, jump, guns, jump, guns. Okay.

Roll a fortitude save. Oh, man. The flies. Natural one. Oh, no. Four. Okay. Oh, my God, you're blind.

one. Oh, no. Four. Okay. Oh my god, you're blind. You take a minus two penalty on attack rolls, ability checks, and skill checks because you are distracted by the cloud of flies. So long as I'm in the room. Minus two to your acrobatics check.

You can't fail it, right? I can fail it. I have plus eight. Oh, you didn't cast jump on yourself. No. Got it. I mean, I could also just fly. I'll just fly.

No. You already called it. All right. Jump, jump, jump. I mean, I won't fall. I'll just fly back up. I make the first one. Okay.

So you just land on the next lily pad, the second one on the left side, and it stays steady. No movement. All right. Second one. Make it. And the next one. Make it.

Okay. And the final jump, because you're kind of going diagonally across the room. That's going to be tough. You said minus two? Minus two. So that is a nine. Oh no! Sure enough, on that last jump to the

final platform, Gormley falls. I levitate. You've levitated. Don't you get like a reflex save? Oh yeah, I'm sorry. Roll a reflex save. You're right, I'm sorry. I got so excited. Fifteen. Fifteen. So you actually go to jump and you grab onto the ledge of the next thing. Of course it's the last one.

And so I have to do a strength check to pull up. Yep. Strength check to pull up. That's your hair. That's your forte. Oh, your hair. That's so cool.

Use my hair. My hair is going to extend to grab and just pull me up. You guys are watching this like, huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? She's got hair.

Eight on the strength check with my hair. eight is enough to get you onto the platform so recap lork steps on the first lily pad all the way down he steps off lily pad comes back up gormley goes across almost falls pulls herself up she is now on the other end of the room with the rope who's doing what next i'm gonna hold the rope with my hair, which is stronger. Or am I going to tie it? Is there something around I can tie it off on? No. All right.

I'll hold it with my hair. Should I try to do it? Yeah, you should. Baron should try to get across because then he can help hold the rope. Okay. So is the idea that we're holding the rope on both ends and everyone who jumps has it in their hands so they can... No, no. You can just let a trail down

and then people who are on the bottom floor can climb up. And you guys are just going to tell me which direction I should face before I jump forward, basically? Yeah. Okay. Well, Gormley can stand in such a position that for most of the way... Follow the sound of my voice.

You can follow the rope. Okay. All right, so I'll follow the rope. Well, the rope isn't going across the rope. You can't follow the rope. The rope is just down so that Lork can climb it up, and if anybody else falls... Can you just levitate next to me

and point me where to go? Or is that going to waste some of your time? Well, okay. So you have the rope on the other side, and it's dangling down to the bottom. Yes. Okay, so then Lork will climb up. That's smart, because I have to go back to cast jump. And Lork can hold the rope on the other end and toss it across

and then brace it for people jumping across. I also did not cast jump on these guys so i'm gonna have to go back you said you did then we were saying like as you as you went came across to make the jump i would do it that way we got the most time out of it oh okay right i can go back let's just levitate back so uh i'll climb uh up okay it takes a little while so enough that yeah i think you could say his his jump is gone so so Lork makes his way up. Makes his way all the way back up. He's on the opposite platform with Gorms.

What's happening next? Yeah, okay. So Gormley, are you going to levitate the rope back over? I'm going to fly back and cast jump on the next person. So Gormley is going to use one of her flies to fly back across the room and touch Baron. And then you guys are going to yell at Baron. To your left! Jump! Okay, okay.

To your left, John! Two o'clock. Okay. Eleven o'clock. Well, you can't fail, right? Let's just do it for fun. So that is a 31 acrobatic check. Okay, what do you weigh with all your gear? 196. Down.

196. Baron jumps across onto the first lily pad. Lork on the other side of the room all by himself. And it does not descend. Ooh, there you go. Excellent. You want to do the second one? All right, so we'll guide him.

Little step here, little step there. I'm sorry. Roll a fortitude save. Okay. That is a 15. You're all right. Yeah. All right.

So my next jump. I mean, I'm going to make all of them. Yeah, you can't fail. So let's go. Well, it does matter because you land on the second lily pad with ease. on the second lily pad with ease. And just at that moment, a giant dragonfly.

Right over Baron's head. Oh my God. Roll for initiative. Dude, this is awful. He's blind and alone. Oh my God. Well, at least I know where it is. Do you know where it is?

Now, you just hear, shh. Look, in general terms, I could feel air batting off of its wings. And I would shout, dragonfly right above your head. Yeah. All right, what'd everybody get? 15. 21 for Lork. 21 for Lork and Ben. 15 for Baron. Gorms? 15. 21 for Lork. 21 for Lork and Ben.

15 for Baron. Gorms? 16. 16 for Gorms. Did you add your bonus? No, just kidding. Calabras. Six.

Six. All right. This is going to be intense. I can honestly say this is a first. Yeah. In the middle of some Zelda castle. Everyone, with the exception of Baron and Lork, so Iwiga, Benvarine, and Galabras, and Gormley, roll a reflex save

All around you On the platform Weeds and tendrils and shit Start coming up to grab your legs Jesus Christ Yeah this is totally a death trap Not Ben Vereen failed

19 for me 12 for Gormley 8 for Ben Vereen failed. 19 for me. Whoa. 12 for Gormley. Okay. Eight for Ben Vereen. And, oh, and the wig up, right. 16 for wig up. Okay. Ben Vereen is entangled on the platform.

And trapped there. Probably the safest place. Probably for the best, yeah. It won't fall. The rest of you are currently safe. Round one. Lork. How tall is the ceiling on this, by the way? Is there a ceiling?

The ceiling, from where you are on the platform, I had to draw this cross-section. You're 50 feet up. Where Lork is, it's 30 feet to the top of the ceiling. Okay. Okay. Lorkmaster Flex. Okay, so I am going to...

Would it make sense for me to sheathe my falchion, quickdraw my bow, and take a shot at this dragonfly? I can see it, right? Absolutely. It's hovering over in the air in the middle of the room. Yeah. Could you do a rapid check? Just do me a favor.

No. And roll a fortitude check. Fortitude save. Damn flies. 14. Minus two for this round on attack rolls, ability checks, and skill checks. As long as these flies are in the room, every round you're going to have to roll this. 18 to hit.

18 to hit. Hits. Five points of damage. Five points of damage. So you're just like, hits it. All right. Benverine.

Benverine can attempt to break out, if you so desire. I can't imagine he wouldn't. Right. So he is- You can do strength or escape artists strength or escape artists uh he's got escape artist uh 16 escape artist he breaks out yeah okay now what's he gonna do um geez i don't know what he would do i think he's just gonna stay

where he is he's just getting out of there for now. He's got no, it's just open space out there. He's not going to run out there and jump anywhere. Lork, uh, okay. Because I'm not going to tell him to come. I'm not going to tell him to attack. Okay. You'd probably have to tell him to stay

because I think he would try to get to you or attack the dragonfly. Yeah, I mean, it's up to Troy. Stay is a trick. Yeah, I'm, it's up to Troy. Stay is a trick. Yeah. Wait, he doesn't know stay? No. Oh, jeepers.

Yeah, I mean, what does... But I mean, he's also not going to kill himself. Sure, sure, sure. But if you want him to make an acrobatics check to jump across the lily pad, like... Well, no, that's up to you. You tell him what you want him to do. No, it's not. That's what we're trying to say.

Oh, you're saying... I'm saying don't come. But he doesn't know that. So maybe he does come if you decide he does or maybe he stays put and analyzes for a round roll to tell him to stay if you succeed he doesn't have to jump across if you fail he's going to jump try to jump okay fail okay so stay man no stay and he's just like nope i'm coming to hang out with buddy. So Ben, make an acrobatics check to jump to the first lily pad. 25. 25.

And does- He weighs less than 196 pounds. All right, so Ben Vereen jumps to the lily pad. The largest wolverines weigh upwards of 70 pounds. Wow. That's disgusting. Imagine seeing that. All right. Wow. This is going. Imagine seeing that. All right.

Wow. This is going to be harrowing for Ben Farid. Gormley. Lurk's just like, no, no. I should mention that Gormley,

Iwiga, and Galabras, it's all difficult terrain in the area where this entanglement has started. How far away? Not for me.

Not for you. Agile feet? You know, I was reading agile feet. You can only do that so many times per day, right? Yeah. It's five rounds per day. That's,

that's pretty cool. I thought it was like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

As long as I want. Nope. All right. Gorms. I'll fly up to get within range and then. Okay. Roll an escape artist check or strength check to break out of the. Oh,

you're not. I wasn't. Okay. I'm sorry. So you're just flying straight up. I had a 45 degree angle. I'm going to fly up towards, towards him and then cast. I'll hex him for. Evil. I'll evil. I'm sorry. So you're just flying straight up. At a 45 degree angle, I'm going to fly up towards him and then cast, I'll hex him for evil eye.

I'll evil eye him for AC. Okay. That's a mind affecting effect, right? Yes. So Gormley goes up, tries to hex the dragonfly. Nothing. Fails. Baron.

Baron's going to do his best to shoot at him blindly if he's above him. Correct. Yeah. 50% concealment. You guys are just yelling. Above you. Just fire straight up.

Straight up. Well, look, you can clearly hear a normal-sized dragonfly. Yeah, let alone a giant one. I'm sure a giant one would not be hard. I mean, we can't make Baron completely useless. So 50% missed chance and minus whatever to... Oh, that's strength and dex-based check, so I don't think...

Yeah, no, no minus to attack unless it says minus to... No, I don't think there is a minus to attack. No. Oh! Well, good news is I would have missed. Bad news is I misfired. Oh my god. A blind gunslinger without a gun.

No, it's not without a gun. It's completely wrong. So I use a point of grit because I called the up close and deadly, but I can quick clear next round. You also got to confirm to see if you fumble. Do you have to see to quick clear? I i wasn't confirming oh i am yeah you have to confirm to see if it's also a fumble that is a 16 to hit well doesn't the concealment count no i'm sorry uh 18 to hit i don't know if you use concealment for a fumble yeah roll concealment

you're blind. You've got to make it a little bit. Ah, I made a concealment. All right, so you do not actually fumble. You just misfire. Okay, it is its turn. So I'm rolling great. Rolling rocks tonight. All right, it is its turn

And it Casts It sprays a thing At Gorms Gorms roll a will save I was hoping it was going to cast blindness on Baron Eight Oh

Oh man He basically Did Because The giant dragon Fi Just cast Glitter dust

On Gormley And Gormley is now blind Oh Oh my god Oh Jesus Christ This place is so deadly Galabras I am going

Oh my god A blind gunslinger With a broken gun A blind witch And a A blind gunslinger with a broken gun. A blind witch and a rabid wolverine. And the witch is flying in the air right now. You know, I also...

Stop saying that the wolverine is rabid. It does not have rabies. All right? It does not have hydrophobia. You don't know. It's a wild... Oh, does he?

Then everyone he fights should have to take a fortitude save. That's true. All right, sorry. So I'm going to cast a spiritual weapon. Oh, I love it. As a ghostly glowing white hammer appears directly next to the dragonfly and attacks it.

Boom. 22 to hit. 22 hits. Four damage. Four damage. This looks like the hammer of eskroth right yeah it's like glowing blue hammer of eskroth just yeah boom hits it right in the wing force damage by the way force okay it is now round two lork what you're gonna do brother uh lork is going to Do I roll a new fortitude save on distraction? Yes Oh, I forgot everybody was supposed to do that

What if he passed the first time? You know, top of the round Every round you have to do it So top of the round Let's just all roll our fortitude saves right now Alright, I failed So I'm not gonna do rapid shot I'm gonna do a regular shot

Because I'm already minus two I rapid shot. I'm going to do a regular shot because I'm already minus two. I made a hit. I made it. 24. Okay. Six points of damage. Six points of damage. You see the arrow hit, and it doesn't look like it even phased it.

Just a little bit. Oh. Same thing as last? But you didn't say it last time. Yeah, because I forgot. So you counted for the first one. Your first hit got all the way through. This one, you can tell, didn't do full damage.

Ben Vereen. All right. So can he jump to either lily pad or the equidistant or? You got to go dunk, dunk, dunk, dunk. Okay. So he jumps to the one that Baron is on. Go like diagonal. Passes, same thing.

With the one that Baron's on? Yeah. Okay, it begins to sink. Oh, Jesus Christ. It sinks about 20 feet. Oh, but not all the way. Yeah, because now we're in rounds. And now he's freaking out.

He attacks Baron. It sinks 20 feet. Yeah, because now we're in rounds. And now he's freaking out. He attacks Baron. It sinks 20 feet. Just, okay. Gormley, blinded. Gormley, did you make your fortitude save, Gorms? I did not make my fortitude save. Oh, Gorms. So let me ask this question.

Can I do a knowledge arcana to see what happened to me? Or to see how long it would last? Well, you can't see anymore, so fuck you too. I deserve that. You would have seen this stuff coming at you to try and figure out what just happened? Sure. Would this be a minus two to this skill check? Oh, yeah. Yeah, so I didn't get it.

Eight. You feel like you're starting to see motes of light coming through your eyes so you don't think it's going to last forever. Well, I have to keep flying or I stay in you don't think it's going to last forever. Forever. Okay. Well, I have to keep flying or I stay in the air. So I'm going to just keep flying across the other direction, even though I

can't see him. It's going to go the direction I was flying, just straight over towards Lork. So you go straight over towards Lork. Okay, so you just fly across the room. And then I'll say, and I'll ready in action, that if I can see, I will cast Ill Omen on the dragonfly. Is there any chance of him flying directly into the dragonfly?

I was not nearly as high as the dragonfly was. Yeah, no, not in that instance. Baron, you're up. So now I'm like 40 feet away down below from him, right? Correct. Okay, so here we go. So now I'm like 40 feet away down below from him, right? Correct. Okay. So here we go. That is 18 to hit.

18 hits. Let's do concealment. Ah, yes. 47. 47. So close, guys. Yes. So close.

Here's what's going to happen now. The giant dragon giant dragon oh and by the way i'm sorry i quick cleared as a swift action spent a great point to clear out that barrel fair enough uh didn't you pass your fortitude safe yeah i had rolled 22 okay here's what's gonna happen the giant dragonfly starts down at baron to bite him in its first movement. 29. Anything's going to hit me now. I'm blind. What are you talking about? What are you looking at? Oh, man.

Oh, man. I called this before this episode. I. Can you get. Let me tell you a couple things. Okay, so it darts down, walks you in its jaws for 15 points of damage. Oh, Jesus.

And then it lifts you off the lily pad and is about to drop you, but you have a save to get out of it. It has a, well, it has, excuse me, it has a free chance to grab. It didn't automatically. I thought you were, did you already roll that? It didn't automatically grab you

30 something to grab you Oh my CMD is 92 Oh well then you're not Alright so it comes down It darts down at you in a charge locks on with his jaws and starts to lift you off of the lily pad

to drop you Baron you the lily pad to drop you. Baron, you get a CMB, I believe, plus five. Yeah. To try and... CMB plus five. Because it's bringing you to a, whatchamacallit, a unsafe... A hazardous area.

A hazardous area, right. Let me just make sure that's correct. So I add five to my CMB and roll a 20. And what about the blindness? Does that not affect? It's not a strength-based skill check, so. Yeah, no, that's just AC and strength and dex-based. Okay.

Well, isn't a strength a component of CMB, though? Yeah, but I don't get any strength bonus anyway. Okay. That's fine. But still wouldn't it be minus two to that, though? No. Excuse me, you get a plus four bonus if he's bringing you to a hazardous place. Okay.

So I add four to my CMB and then add that to my 20 roll? Yep. He's fine. 18. Wait. No, I'm sorry, 19. No, I'm sorry.

No, that's not right. It's 23. What is it? 14 plus five plus 4 is 23. This is Baron's death music. 14 plus 5. It's like the Jeopardy music for Troy's math. In slow motion, he's just falling.

Yeah. And you said my CMB as in boy, correct? Right, so you added your CMB, plus four, plus the die. 14, yeah. And you got 23. Correct. 23, exactly. It does not lift you off of the face. Nice.

Galabras. I need some bit of luck shit. Is Uyghur doing anything, or is she just... Oh, I completely forgot about Uyghur So after Galabras So she's not entangled But she has to take an action now She's just been kind of like

What do I do So she's going to make an action after you Okay I'm going to Attack well I'm going to attack with a hammer Right with the spiritual spiritual weapon uh miss and now do you move galabras yeah i think i actually get a standard action i think the hammer hacks acts on its own after i cast it so yeah you can spend i think a swift action to move

it but yeah yeah as long as it stays in oh wait the thing moved which means you have to move the hammer down to it okay all right well i do that uh you feel the vines are still moving all around you calabras so you don't feel like it's difficult terrain but you feel like you've got to get out of there. Okay. Yeah, it's a move action to redirect it. Okay. So as a standard action, I move. Okay. To the edge of the platform. All right, so you move up to the edge of the platform

just out of the range of where all these things are flapping around. Iwiga backs up. She succeeded on her reflex save to get out of the entanglement. She backs up to the back end of the platform, and she's like, it's been a long time since I've done this, and she shoots lightning at the giant dragonfly.

Wow. Hits. Yes. And does six points of damage.fly. Wow. Hits. Yes. And does six points of damage. Thanks. Thanks. Nice. Good job. Okay. Round three. Lork the orc. Do I

have a clear shot at this thing? Well, it's in melee with that hammer. No, that doesn't matter. There's lily pads, and it's 20 feet down. Are the lily pads... The lily pads, and it's 20 feet down. Are the lily pads can I not see it? Oh, the lily pads don't affect your... There's enough complications in the room. The lily pads aren't going to affect your shot. You're just going to take

a minus four. Alright, so I'll do... Roll your fortitude save. Why do I take a minus four? Because it's a melee with the hammer. Not the hammer. The hammer doesn't matter. Oh, okay. It's a melee with Baron. Oh, it is still. Okay. Another failed fortitude save. My god. Okay, okay, it's a melee with Baron. Oh, it is still. Okay. Another failed Fortitude save. My god.

Okay, so minus two to attack. Oh, we should all roll those. Yeah, just all roll them now so we'll remember. Yeah, Gromling has failed every single one. I'm rolling like a fiend. That's a blind Grom! Benverine! He's freaking out. That is

a 17 to hit 17 misses Ben Vereen You tell me man You can tell him to stay I can't He can't jump to another loop Clearly I don't understand what's happening in this room

You say he floated 20 feet down I'm about 50 feet away from him 30 feet away from him And he goes down 20 feet This thing I'm about 50 feet away from him, 30 feet away from him, and he goes down 20 feet. This thing is buzzing over Baron, attacking him. You think he's looking at me and I'm giving him instructions? He's not going to jump to his death.

And it would be... If he can attack the dragonfly, he would do that. Alright, let's try it. Ben Vereen is going to attack the giant dragonfly. I could see that. You could jump up. It's like a dog trying to-

Have you actually seen a wolverine? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's not as tall as Baron, but we'll allow it. All right. Baron is four feet tall. He will swing a claw. 11.

Swing another claw at it. 18. 18 hits. There you go. That is three points of damage. Zero damage. Well, then I'm not rolling anymore. He hits with the bite, but it doesn't affect him.

Alright, so Ben Breen just bite, bite, bite. It doesn't even phase the dragonfly. Gormley. This DR is brutal. Failed her fortitude save. Oh, by the way, my hammer, any damage it does bypasses the oh yeah i've got that okay yeah yeah magic damage all bypasses all dr uh gormley you're blind and you're flying i'm still so i'm still blind still blind could i would it be

reasonable that i could follow the sound of lork's grunting and bow shooting to like know where the platform is uh it's conceivable and i could shout like lork where are you yeah i mean you're if you just want to try and fly and land on the platform you could find your way over there great all right so i'm gonna fly and land on the platform like grab lork as i'm doing and as i'm flying yeah i'll guide around as i'm as i'm flying i'm gonna draw the wand of cat's grace and when i grab lork for my action, I'm just going to cast Cat's Grace on Lork. Nice. Okay. Cat's Grace on Lork. Very well. Baron, what you going to do?

Baron's going. Can I take a five foot step back on the lily pad away from him? Sure. Okay. So I'm going to reload with my fire bullets. It's not a large creature, so that's. Yeah. I'm going to reload fire bullets uh and i'm gonna

shoot at him just point blank shot not deadly aim to hit 21 21 uh roll of concealment 42 uh also not to be an asshole but doesn't that provoke an attack oh you said you took a five-foot step away from him? So now he's not in melee with him. Okay. It is the chaser's turn. Dragonfly does the same thing to Baron. Swoops down with a bite.

Ooh, might have missed. 17. Fuck you, dude. You know I'm blind. Oh, your AC is down. And he has no bonus AC I forgot you take 16 points of damage

it definitely grapples you and tries to do the same thing Baron roll an escape artist or CMB plus 4 Troy you make me sick I can roll an escape artist too? no I'm sorry CMB plus 4 roll the 2

11 the dragonfly won 6 seconds earlier Oh, roll the two. 11. The dragonfly. One, six seconds earlier, swooped down, grabbed Baron by its jaws and just couldn't lift him off the thing. Did 15 points of damage. This time it's just like attacking. It comes in, grabs Baron in its bite,

does 16 points of damage or whatever it was, lifts Baron off the lily pad and drops him to the floor. And we'll pick it up here next time. Oh my god, that's awful. That is awful. You're horrible. Outro Music