The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 6 - Pee-wee's Plague House

Episode Date: July 7, 2015

For the first time, the party ventures forth from the relative safety of the walls of Trunau and plunges headlong into the haunted ruin that is the Plague House! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. And now, Baron, Gormley, Galabras, and Lork all set out for the Plague House. While exploring the burnt ruins of the Plague House. Burnt corpses start screaming, their mouth full of fire and ashes. Baron faces his worst fears. My gun is broken. Oh no! Oh my god. He rolled a one.

So Baron just bolts out of the lighthouse on his way back to Trinam. Fuck you guys, I'm going home. A new clue comes to light. It says screed in orc. And Galabras comes up huge.

Oh my god, I rolled a 20! Oh my god! The adventure continues now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Hey, everybody, this is Troy LaVallee, your Dungeon Master and host of the Glass Cannon Podcast. First of all, I want to thank all of you so much for listening and subscribing and downloading. The response has been overwhelming.

We were all pretty sure that even though we put a lot of work into this, six, maybe seven people would listen. Tops. We have something like eight million subscribers now and a development deal with Disney in the works. Things are insane. But since that's only partially true, please, if you like what you're hearing, tell your friends.

Tell your buddies in your gaming group. Tell your priest at confession. Sing about us from the mountaintops because we're having a blast doing this and we're psyched that this is actually resonating with people. Be sure to follow us on Twitter, at Glass Cannon Pod. Go to our Tumblr, glasscannonpodcast.tumblr.com

to see all the visuals of the NPCs and enemies, maps, and even the party's character sheets. You can also now go to our new website, www.glasscannonpodcast.com, which is a slick little work in progress that we'll eventually have even more fun stuff on there. Lastly, shoot us an email at glasscanonpodcast at gmail.com. Tell us what you like, what you don't like, if you hate Joe and want me to kill Lork, which I'm probably going to do anyway, or any other feedback and suggestions you may have. We're going to keep working to make sure it's fun and entertaining to listen to,

especially with combat. We want to make sure that we continue to try and bridge the gap between the at-home gaming experience and how that can best translate to a podcast to give you, the listeners, a clear vision in your head of what the party is up against. Hey, thanks again for listening. I love you.

I want to kiss you all in the mouth. Enjoy episode six! Okay, so you guys all sleep through the night. You have wonderful dreams of better days. Scissoring lesbians. And now Baron, Gormley, Galabras,

and Lork all set out for the plague house. It's a dreary day. It's dawn, but you don't even see the sun rising. It's pretty gloomy, dark out. You have a bit of a walk, assuming you guys are still staying at the ramble house.

And the plague house is outside of the city walls, way far south. And the ramble house is on the north side of town. So you guys make your way there, kind of mentally stealing yourself or whatever may lie there.

Yeah, Lork picks up his old, he stops at home, digs out his old longbow from the closet, dusts it off. Oh, I like that. Yeah. It's been a while.

Has he used it in decades? It's been a while since he slung the bow, as they say. And eventually, you guys appear, as they say. And eventually, you guys appear, you magically appear. No, eventually, you come upon the plague house. Do I know why they originally built this church

so far from the town? No, I don't even know why. I'm just trying to... Because it seems really dumb. Oh, I imagine that the town came up more after the fall of the church. It's like, you know what? Let's build our town really far away from this fucking church. Also, in my mind, I'm thinking,

because of the war between the orcs and the people of Lastwall and the people of True Now, the border has constantly shifted. And so it's possible there was more going on out there, and this was like one of the last remnants before they built the city wall. Oh, okay. All right, that makes sense. The borders have kept changing. All right, I just wanted to... So you guys come upon the Plague House, and you see it's pretty much in ruins.

There's some broken steps that lead up to a double door, probably about three feet off the ground, the steps. They're in pretty shitty condition. There's a beautiful stained glass window that is surprisingly still intact that you guys see, and it has an image of a woman holding a sword. And then this area here is completely broken down. There's rubble that leads straight into the building. And then you see the remnants of the second floor here. It's pretty much all that is left of the second floor of the building. So straight on, there's a cathedral, like a stained glass window that's intact.

And then to the left, you can see right into the building and into the second floor as you're looking at it. Yeah, you can see into the building on the first floor, just like crumbled building, and then you can see what's left of a second floor above that crumbled part

that leads directly into the building. Okay. We should maybe take a picture of the map at some point. Yeah. Yeah, we forgot to do that last time, but it wasn't as important in your last adventures.

But yeah, so pretty much you can see two ways in from this vantage point. There is the double doors on the shitty staircase, and then there is that opening where the rubble is to the north. Do we get any sense of plague? Oh, it's the Greeks of plague. I mean, like, is there a smell? Is there a rotting odor or anything that's really disturbing that we can get from a distance?

The only thing that's disturbing is just to see this old, twice-burned-down church. But you don't, you get a general feeling of eeriness, but you don't know if you're projecting that or if it's just emanating. Is it, is the structure made out of stone? No, wood. Wow. All right, I think we should, so there's no roof, right?

It's broken in places, no. Like that second floor that you see, and from what you can see, that's all that's left of the second floor, it's pretty much open air above it. Okay. It's like a couple of beams. You could maybe hide from the rain,

but for the most part, it's completely open. So we walk up to the stairs, right? Okay. So the plague house's front doors sit, like I said, about three feet above the ground. They're charred, wooden beams, and ash. It's pretty much all that remains

of a small porch and stairs that once led to the entrance. Lork would like to, can I do a survival check for tracks outside the door? Sure. Let me just finish explaining this and then I'll let you do the several tracks.

Just to give you a sense of the scene, there's two small windows on either side of the door. They're both broken. And like I said, that large stained glass window is sort of dominating the face of the building. And if you remember looking in Roderick's journal, he had a picture of that. Yes, yes.

I'll put that also on the Tumblr. looking in Roderick's journal, he had a picture of that. Yes, yes. I'll put that also on the Tumblr. It's pretty huge, depicting a very colored image of Yomadai holding her sword aloft. So you want to do a survival check for tracks. Yeah, to see if there's troll tracks outside the door or anywhere around. I actually want to check in a sweep around the front of the building. Okay, roll a survival check.

Ooh! 21. Yeah, you see numerous tracks and you do see troll tracks. And where do they go? Where do they largely are they in and out of the front door? Do they go around the side? You see what you assume are troll tracks.

They're larger feet than normal, and you see them both coming and going, but through the whole area. Ah, okay, okay. Looks like there's a troll going in and out over there. Trolls. I hate trolls. Why did it have to be trolls? Ketreza mentioned that in his visions That there

Were things At unrest underneath this place So I think we might go into that hole Into the hole Do we want to avoid the front door? And just go around the side and track the troll? Follow the tracks, yeah. Yeah, sure.

Go on a troll hunt. There are other tracks leading into the front door as well. And they're human-sized? They're like, yeah. I actually kind of want to go through the door. How recent have people been passing through? You see tracks that could have been today or a week ago so like both okay so today yeah somebody came in here today yeah you think so wow you get the

sense of like in the past 48 hours so it's like a utilized hideout of some kind but the area outside here is pretty damp too so the tracks you know just uh from your your past well it's not like a month old or whatever no well can i ask so i no you can't all right moving on now what do you want to ask um i want to ask a lork well i i don't know okay so trolls are we're first level and trolls are kind of badasses not not flood trolls so they're like trolls are like a lesser kind of runty they are okay all right all right all right that was my understanding but make no mistake they're they're like the runt of the litter they're still trolls and we should explain for people that don't know that trolls traditionally can regenerate any damage done to them and to keep them from regenerating you need to utilize fire or acid.

That is the only way to permanently kill them. I want this to be your role on the show, is explaining stuff like that, because I think that would be fun for people who don't play the game. Yeah. And can I get some music for it? Yeah. Skid's explaining minute.

Like, do-do-do-do-do, this is the lore corner. Oh, you want your own skid mark. This is the lore corner. Yeah, the lore corner. Skid's explaining minute. Like, do-do-do-do-do, this is the lore corner. Oh, you want your own skid mark. This is the lore corner. Yeah, the lore corner. Skid mark. It's a good point, though. I'll work on the theme music for you, but do we have some Plague House-type music?

I can do some spooky sort of stuff. Now, Joe, what is this awesome program you're using to play music? Oh, this would be Sirenscape, which Skid turned me on to. Sirenscape, it Skid turned me on to. Sirenscape, it is an ambient dynamics, ambient sound program for role-playing games. It's S-Y-R-I-N Sirenscape. Yes, and

Sirenscape.com, it's free to download, and you can buy individual sound sets or subscribe, which is a really good deal. You get access to all of them. And because it's from Australia, you have to turn your tablet upside down to use it correctly. That is actually true. It's insane.

Yeah. And water goes down at the opposite way that it does here. All right. So, but yeah. Oh yeah. That's so weird. Oh,

spooky. I like hearing it in the headphone. Like we should only play Pathfinder with that. I know. Yeah, we should. In all other games. We got some spooky background there. Okay, so...

Gormley feels at home now. Yeah. Well, now there's this soundtrack. This is much more comfortable. This is Gormley's ringtone. All right, so... This is what I wear when I sleep. Lork is going to start following the tracks around into the open area.

Just sort of, you know, slowly. All right, so you're going open area just sort of, you know, slowly. All right, so you're going open area, not front door. Correct. I kind of, okay.

Do you want to do it different? I'm scared I want to go through the front door. I felt like walking through the front door. So we got two for the front door.

All right. Yeah. I'm no expert at this now. So he'll go around to the front door. Mm-hmm. Okay.

Leading the way. Lork just starts following the tracks. Galabras is like, um, um, um, Lork, I really don't think... Our marching order, for those listening, is Lork the half-orc, who is a ranger? Ranger, yeah. Followed by Baron the dwarf, who is a gunslinger.

Then followed by Galabras? Galabras. Galabras, ourlinger, then followed by Galabras? Galabras. Galabras, our healer, and Gormley the fucking freak. All right, ease down. Back off. And Howie. And Howie the scorpion.

The adorable green stink scorpion. No, Gormley's a witch, though. Gormley's a witch. Okay, great. Now, the porch is all fucked up, and the door is three feet off the ground, so it's going to require at least one of you to make a climb check to get up there, and then you can boost an ally who has trouble climbing. Oh, fuck.

I'm actually pretty good at climbing. So we have to climb to get to the landing of the door. It's just a little tough to navigate. Then the door will be standing in front of the closed door. Yeah, there is a little ledge that you can stand on of what's left of the door. It's just a little, yeah, it's a little tough to navigate. So we climb, but then the door, we'll be standing in front of the closed door. Yeah, there is like a little ledge that you can stand on of what's left of the porch, but it's a little tough. Lork can do that, he'll pull himself up there. All right, so whoever wants to roll a climb check. Try.

Eight total. 19. The dwarf climbing up better than the stupid orc. Clambering dwarf. Baron does a back flip into a pirouette. Lands right on the doorknob. One foot. Like gently.

And Lork also gets up there. Yeah. All right. And then you guys, I'm assuming you... I give a hand. You give a hand. Y'all help out Gormley. Go have rest.

Okay, so you let them up there. How you doing, Lork? Oh, boy. I'm good, Gormley. Jesus. Freaking me out. You got the bug eyes. Have I shown you my scorpion before?

Yes, I've seen it. I actually had a friend who every time we would sit down to lunch at work would ask me what I wanted to do with my life, and I wanted to cut his throat. Jesus Christ. That's what I want to do with my life. So, okay, you guys stand in front of these rather charred and weather-beaten heavy oak doors.

They're all fucked up, but they look like they open pretty easily. All right, can I do a perception check to see if I hear anything shady or footsteps or come out through the door? Of course they will as well. see if I hear anything shady or footsteps or come out through the door? Gormley will as well. I don't hear anything. Natural one. I'll tell you what you hear. You hear lots of stuff.

Oh, another natural one. Oh, man. What did Gormley get? Gormley got a nine. Damn. You guys don't hear anything. All right. Shit.

I hope it isn't locked because none of us are rogues. Can I test the door? Lorkel, test the door to see if it's locked? There is also an opening in the wall. That's true. Oh, there's no way in. Let's just go home. It's unlocked.

All right, I'll open the door. Okay, you open the door. And now what I'm going to do here is... That sound effect was not from Sirenscape. No, that was me making that. That was a Skidmar original. That was a Skidmar original. That was a Skidmar-scape. Skid original. You guys

see the hallway? So at the far end of the hallway on the left is a single door. On the right directly when you walk in are two double doors. What do I see in the hallway? Is there any... Is it dirty? Filthy? Is it recently used?

The ceilings are about 10 feet high. It's pretty charred, and the ceilings are open in some spaces, but the hallway is pretty much still together. You can see the second floor in some spaces. Yeah, you can still see what's remaining of parts of the second floor. But for the most part, it's pretty charred and gross, and I love this sound. It's perfect.

I love this. So can Lorik look for tracks that maybe frequently in one door versus the other at all? Yeah, it's so, you can try. Nine. Nine, yeah. Everything is, the wood is just in pretty rough condition. Okay.

Let's go in through the double doors. Double doors on the right. Okay. Let's move in. Yeah, can I try to stealthily open the door? Well, is it locked? It is unlocked. All right, can I try to kind of stealthily, like, peek in?

Sure. What do I do? Roll a stealth check? Yeah roll a stealth check. Does it matter? I do. I do too. 21. So you stealthily open the door and you see two rows of scorched wrought iron bed frames taking up the majority of the space in this soaring chamber. Whereas the hallway, the ceilings are only 10 feet high, the ceilings here are like 25 feet high. There is a fire-blackened altar there

at the end of the rows of beds as denoted by that single rectangle that I hastily drew there. There's a double set of doors that you just came through and then there's another door way off in the far corner. Even though it has a very eerie feel to it,

the light of the day is streaming through that stained glass window. And so these brightly colored holy figures are staring down from you from built into the blackened stone walls. That's so creepy. Their visages...

This place is fucked. Notably less damaged than the rest of the room. For some reason, the stained glass stayed intact. Can I detect magic on the stained glass window? Sure. Good call. Oh, no, you just like... I just detect magic.

It is not magical. How about the altar? How does detect magic work there, Skid? Detect magic emanates in a 60 foot cone From the caster's hand And it will Any magical objects Will radiate their particular school of magic You'll be able to detect it

I'll detect magic on the altar as well. Also nothing. I'm just going to do... I'm just going to scan the room with the detect magic. Wow! Anything? Like a radar detector. Yeah, like a metal detector. You're getting a faint sense of something.

But it's very vague. How far is your... 60 feet. 60 feet, yeah. It's very vague, if there at all. And you're not even sure if it's coming from above the room or below. I'm going to go rifle through the altar, see if there's anything in there. Okay, so

show me there. You walk right up to the altar. I'm moving. I'm right out of the room. Okay. No, it's just a... It looks like just an altar to Yomadai that's completely charred and burnt down. What's the object behind me? It's just like a statue.

A statue of what? A statue of Yomadai. Okay, so a statue of Yomadai, a bunch of burnt bed frames. I assume there's nothing. We can see through them. There's nothing underneath them. I'm going to walk along here.

Can I do a perception check along the wrought iron beds? Sure, along there. Looking under them, around them, for anything suspicious? Yeah, roll a perception check. Four. I'll do the same. Four. Ooh.

24. Damn. The dwarf is killing it. Okay, who did you just move there, Skid? That was me. I moved myself into the center of the room. Okay. Gormley will go in through the doors as well.

Okay. So Galabras starts walking down between the row of beds, and just as he does, Baron, you said you rolled a 24 perception, you start to notice the stench of burning flesh. Does it seem like it's coming from this room or an adjacent room? It seems like you got to roll initiative. Oh! Snap, crackle, pop, initiative.

Four, all right. Natural one. But I got plus seven. I just drew another set of double doors here at the end of the room, which I just noticed on my map. Albus double. So we're in a rectangular room with a series of beds.

It's longer than it is wide. Oh! And there are three entrances. So now, anybody roll above 20? I did. Lork is a 21. Oh, Lork! Did you take an improved initiative?

No, I rolled a natural 19 Oh boy Any 1918s? 18 18 for Baron Von Baron Galabras, what'd you get? 4 8 Oh wow, you got a plus 7 to initiative

I'm wily. She's the quickest witch in the West. Okay. Lork, you go first. And what you notice is... There's no visible enemy, right? What you notice is... So Gormley walks down the rows of the bed frames. Galabras. I'm sorry. Galabras walks down

the rows of bed frames and Baron is like, it stinks like burning flesh. And just as he says that, burnt corpses of like, just like people with sores, weeping sores

all over their bodies. Oh, man. They appear on the bed frames, and they just sit up from the bed frame and start screaming, their mouth full of fire and ashes. Oh, my God. How many? Every single bed.

Oh, what? So 12? 12 dudes. Yeah. We should... Wow, that is terrifying. Now, let's attack one of them. They might fall apart.

Yeah, I mean, Lork is going to just off of, you know, knee-jerk reaction. He's standing right next to one of these beds. This thing sat up and screamed ash and fire in his face. He's just going to stab it with a spear. Okay. As quickly as possible. I hope he doesn't miss. Ten.

Ten? Nothing happens. Damn it! Fuck. The air. And the thing is just like silent screaming. That is so... The fuck was that?

Sorry, it's something I ate. All right, Baron's turn. So we assume... Hold on, I can still get a move action. Oh, I'm sorry, yeah. I'm just going to back out. Five foot step? If I may, I mean, is it...

I guess... Yeah, I'll take a five foot step back. Five foot step that way. Okay. Right, the concern, is it... I guess... Yeah, I'll take a five-foot step back. Five-foot step that way. Okay. Right, the concern there is if I move without... If I move more than five feet, I might get these things attacking me automatically just because I'm becoming an easy target.

But if I only slide five feet, then they might not get a chance to hit me. Right. So we assume that every bed frame we see has a screaming fucking fire mouth body in it Okay, so I'm going to whip my pistol out Oh yeah And I'm going to

Let me just whip this out I'm going to place it on the forehead Of the screaming body in front of me And I'm going to pull the trigger And let's see how well I pull that trigger Alright My gun is broken Oh no in front of me. I'm going to pull the trigger and let's see how well I pull that trigger. My gun is broken.

Oh no! He rolled a one. Oh no! So it like backfires or something? Nope, it's just in a broken state right now. I can fix it. I can fix it too. What happens with a broken state? It just has negative attributes to it.

If I rolled a one again, it would explode in a 20-foot radius. Oh, God. Wow, it's kind of great when you think about it. You guys, this is your first real creepy challenge. You walk in, all these screaming. We're just stabbing at air. Lork stabs. He pulls out his gun, fiddling with it.

Smash. Doesn't work. Broken gun. Okay, so now Lork and Galabras and who's up by the altar there? That's Baron. All right, so everybody except Gormley roll a will save. Oh, fuck. Is this against a spell-like ability?

Yes. I rolled a 20. Oh, I rolled an 18. Nine. Okay. Fuck this d20. Galebris and Lork are just like shaken by this stuff, but they steel themselves against what they're seeing. Baron starts running out of the room and is frightened.

Oh no. So on his turn, his turn's over. On his next turn, you have to try and leave the room. On his next turn, you have to try and leave the room. And I think you also take a minus two to all your rolls for frightened. I'm not sure. I can look that up on my laptop. Yep.

Yeah, it's as shaken. So frightened condition is as shaken, except the creature must flee from the source. And shaken is takes a minus two penalty on all attack rolls, saving throws, skill checks and abilities checks motherfucker so your gunslinger with his broken gun

is like fuck this makes perfect sense the man with the broken gun I should have invested in a more well established form of martial arts I don't know why I turned

English while I'm frightened. I was going to say, scared him English. You scared him English. Put some more English on that. It's Gormley's turn. Gormley's going to shoot the nearest Skeletor thing with her crossbow.

Okay. Okay. Roll the two. So that's a point blank shot, so that's a six. Bling! Goes straight through it and lands off the wall. Galabras. Galabras is going to channel positive energy.

Well, actually, can I do just a religion check to see if these things are undead and if I know what they are? Mm-hmm. All right. 18? It is a haunt. Ah.

Then it's too late, I think. But I'm going to give it a shot anyway. So do you tell us that? He's a The haunts The haunts Yeah I'm going to channel positive energy Okay

Can you tell the listening people what a haunt is? I will tell the listening people what a haunt is Haunts are They're kind of a new thing They're basically like traps That like they're supernatural traps That are thing. They're basically like traps. They're supernatural traps. They have a trigger, and you usually have a chance to detect them. They have some kind of telltale sign that you can have an opportunity to see that they're there before they actually are sprung,

if you roll high enough perception, but I guess we didn't do that. And then they just have these varying effects. Negative effects. Basically, you can't attack them. You can't attack a haunt. Physical attacks never work on a haunt. Sometimes it's like bleeding walls and you see

faces coming out of the walls. They usually frighten people or trick them into hurting their friends or you know okay uh so you're gonna channel positive i'm gonna give it a shot i'm gonna channel positive all right channel positive energy and uh and channeling positive energy i think i might have described earlier yeah um i think you did um yeah but this is i'm using it against you can use it either to heal your companions or to harm undead creatures that are fueled by negative energy, which I'm doing the latter, and I rolled a five. So five points of positive energy damage against this thing.

Okay, so you see almost all of them start fading out, but they're still active. There's only like three of them that are still active on there on the uh screaming position so you definitely did something yeah yeah it uh it definitely had an effect oh okay cool uh all right now it is lork the orc um lork is uh yeah knowing that this is a haunt and seeing how the magic hurt them he's's going to assume that he's not going to be able to do any real damage. So I think he's just going to kind of back out and just kind of cover the witch.

Gormley. So you're going to back out of the room or back out of the space? Yeah, back out of the room. Back out of the room. Okay. Baron now. Baron runs out of the room. Back out of the room. Okay. Baron now. Baron runs out of the room. Out of the room.

Unless, okay. How far do I go? I can only move 20 feet. I'm a dwarf. Okay, but it's double move because you're running. I just went through not a door. Whatever, it's fine. You run outside of the building. You run outside of the building.

You run outside of the building. You're probably here. So Baron just bolts out of the plague house on his way back to Trinidad. Fuck you guys, I'm going home. Okay, now Gormley and Galabras roll another will save. I'm actually totally okay with this outcome right now. I bet you are.

Nine, nine. Eighteen. Galabras is now frightened. Oh, no. And now it's Gormley's turn. Gormley is going to... Galabras is still in the room. He is currently in the room.

I'm going to back out of the room. Just leave him? Yes. Yeah, Gormley's just going to back gonna back is there anything magical you could do like can you do you have any harming spells I mean I could cast burning hands but if we reach it if you find any trolls or anything I only like all right that's it once right right tough call all right so we push you or can you help Galavris? Can I assist him?

Or like try and, you see Galavris like, ah, he starts to split. He's like, I didn't get all of them. Couldn't kill them all. So can I, yeah, can I kind of reach for Galavris and take him by the arm and try to guide him out of the room? I mean, he's going to bolt there.

Anyways, I didn't know if there was some sort of power you could have to shake him out. But yeah, so you bolt out of the room. And now Galabras also bolts out of the room. All right, so we all leave the room. All right, Lork will go outside and be like, Galabras, you said it yourself it's just a haunt

come on man shake it off shake it off Taylor Swift fix your gun so do you guys stay out there for a few minutes yeah

okay and eventually Baron and Calabros are halfway back to and they're like chasing them down they're fine they're like chasing them down. They're fine.

They're fine. They shake it off and they come back. We're both slow so you guys can easily both overtake us. Are we still in combat technically or can I do something of my own volition now? You can do something of your own volition. I'm going to use a really neat class ability for the gunslinger

which is called Quick Clear, which allows me to remove the broken condition of a firearm as long as it was from a misfire, which is what happened. So I basically pop open the chamber and clear the pistol stuff out, and I reload it with some black powder. All right. And a bullet. Nice.

Okay. with some black powder. All right. And a bullet. Nice. Okay. I'm assuming you guys, I'll just say you made the climb back up the stairs,

and so you're back in the hallway outside. And I close the door to the room of horrifying bed monsters. Well, you know, and Lork is thinking, and he's basically saying to these guys that the one thing, though, about, you know, and Lurk is thinking, and he's basically saying to these guys that the one thing, though, about triggering something like that to scare us out of there is because there's a reason they don't want us in there. So just keep that in mind. Like, I didn't see, you know, our perception checks,

we didn't notice anything of value, right, or information that would be vital. Well, you never, like, had a chance to check anything. I mean, you started walking around, I think you rolled a four perception. Right. And he looked at the burnt-out altar, and then the haunt was triggered. Right. But when you channel positive energy, it almost wiped all of them out.

Right. Just kick the door open and channel at him. Yeah, we could just try going in again with a channel positive. Yeah, I could do that. How many times a day can you can you cast that uh I can do it four more times today yeah let's do it let's do it okay so yeah I do just that okay and your range is probably good enough to even stay in the hallway uh yeah. Okay, so channel away. Two. Two damage.

They all give one last scream and disappear. I see. That's why you need clerics, man. The best clerics are the bomb. You would know a lot about clerical work, Lork. Damn it.

Yeah, Lork just kind of looks down because he can't really talk shit. He just missed a point-blank stab at an unmoving creature. It's been a while. It's been a while, man. Shaking off the rust. All right, Lork will go in and take a look around the room again. Yeah, I... Galabras.

I'll try to get a better perception. And Gorma. Fuck me in the fucking butt. I guess that's a bad roll, Galabras? No, I rolled a 20. So you nailed it. 21 for Gorma. Seven for Lork, so no good there.

13. Lucky number. Lucky 13. Lucky number. What was the highest one? 21. 21. Okay, so you're looking around the room.

You see through the ashes of the furniture and tucked away in the corners of the room a pretty decent little small haul of ornamental valuables, including an ornate hope knife, a heart-shaped gold locket, and 63 silver pieces. Oh, my. And 63 silver pieces. Oh, finally. Can I...

Let's get out that cash. Those things have gems in them, right? The locket? Or the Hope Knight? Yeah. No, it's just... It's really ornate. It's like...

It's worth as if it stays intact. But it's like an alloy or a metal? How many silver pieces? You can appraise it if that's what you're asking. Yeah. How many silver pieces? 63 silver pieces. Is there an inscription on it that says,

To Roderick, my love? There isn't, but good question. I rolled a natural 20 plus 323. I'm going to let that roll for both then. The Hope Knife is worth 100 gold pieces. Nice. And the Heart-Shaped Gold Locket is worth 45 gold pieces. Nice.

Is there anything interesting on the heart-shaped gold locket? An inscription? Or if you open it. A Polaroid? Yeah, there's a couple Polaroids. You get the sense that it's something that belongs to, like, teenagers. Roll a perception check. Or, yeah, perception.

20. Natural? No. Adjusted? Adjusted. 20 for me? No. Adjusted? Adjusted. 20 for me, too. Well, I'll boost him. Yeah, I mean.

I'll give him plus two. So 22. You get the sense that maybe this is where teenagers came to make out. Ah. And this is like. There's nothing sexier than a bunch of fiery bed ghosts. Nothing turns me on like that. Oh boy.

Our parents will never come here. Yeah. Because of the horrifying undead monsters and trolls. Wait, wait, wait. That doesn't turn you all on? Gormy's like, I used to come here often in the past. Roderick and I. How do you think I know everyone?

Yeah. Didn't you have a sordid past with Roderick? Was it at the plague house that has been very unclear since day one maybe so it's like the Trunel version

of like the the cliff that everybody kind of drives up to yeah make out point look up make out point

love is lame yeah love is lame okay so the room is clear so there's a the door in the back right not the double door.

Okay, the small door. Yeah, the small door. Lork wants to open. Okay. You open it up, and it's like an annex. There's two iron doors connecting this small stone extension to the plague house's main building. small stone extension to the plague house's main building. A large steel

lockbox sits in front of a steep stone staircase that winds down into darkness. Oh. And it's the underneath where we want to go. It's where Roderick was looking. Can I examine the lockbox?

Lockbox. Yes, you can. It's a steel lockbox. Can I open it? It does not open. Are you saying it's locked? Who locks a lockbox? What the fuck? Lockbox. And we don't have, again,

a rogue. Just show me where you are. Walking just into the room. Okay. Okay. You roll a perception check. All of us, or? It would just be Lork,

because Lork's the one that walked into the room. I don't see anything. I rolled a five. Five. Baron's in the room also. I rolled a 17. Okay, you here. I turn a 17. Okay. You here.

I turn to them and I say, Rats. Rats. I'm not upset at anything. They're actually rats here. Sounds like it's coming up the stairs. Alright, I'll tell everybody to back out. Back out of the room? Back out. And shut the door?

Alright, so you go back into the that room. No room? Back out. And shut the door? Alright, so you go back into the that room with the No, I'm not going to shut the door. I'm going to watch to see if anything comes up the stairs and be on guard. Okay. You look and you see like something furry come to the top

and then go back down. And how big was it? Rat size? Pretty good size. Bigger than a rat. Like dog size. Ooh, rat of unusual size. Don't forget, it's really dark here.

I mean, I'm sure you have dark vision. Yeah, the Lord can see in the dark. Yeah, it looked like the size of a small dog, but you didn't see its whole body. And it sat pretty low to the ground? Yeah. It was a capybara. Creepy. I ate one of those, or like a smaller version of it sat pretty low to the ground? Yeah. It was a capybara. Creepy.

I ate one of those, or like a smaller version of it. Yeah, it was in Bolivia. It was a, well, they called it a guinea pig, but yeah, it was a tiny capybara, pretty much. How was it? Delicious. Oh. I missed the beginning. Did you say you ate a rat?

Yeah. And it was delicious. Grant was recently in Bolivia For work And he ate a rat I also had Alligator fried And ceviche style I've had alligator I've had alligator too

Alligator's badass I guess I'm the only one That hasn't had alligator You weirdos You fucking Alright so You rube Look

Basically Lork Is going to tell these guys That there's a creature there That's kind of patrolling the stairs Do we want to just go fight it Or do we want to back out And check behind us I'm okay fighting Unless you want to invest Basically, Lork is going to tell these guys that there's a creature there that's kind of patrolling the stairs. Do we want to just go fight it, or do we want to back out and check behind us? I'm okay fighting unless you want to clear out the first floor. I would like to. I vote for clearing out the rest of the first floor.

Me too. Okay. Okay. So there's double doors in this room, too. We can go through there, Lork. There's double doors that lead out to an area you haven't explored, and then there's the double doors that lead back to the main hallway where you guys first walked in. There's double doors that lead out to an area you haven't explored and then there's the double doors that lead back to the main hallway where you guys first walked in.

Alright, so double doors we have not explored yet. Okay. Do you open, said double doors? Yes. Dumbledore. Okay. So this opens up into sort of a hall,

a larger hall that's obviously in ruins. The support walls and pillars that once connected the plague house to the huge boulder behind it. That's that giant thing I drew behind it. Oh, I thought that was a lake. I know, I don't have a black pen. Now I do, but I didn't want to do that.

I was going to go for a swim. Just take a quick dip in mid-combat. So yeah, you've got the walls and pillars that once connected the flake house to this huge boulder have burnt and crumbled right into the chamber, revealing now this entire face of a giant monolithic stone,

as well as much of the sky above. Jagged runes have been painted onto the rock in long, broad strokes that reach all the way from the top of the rock to the bottom. Are they familiar at all? Knowing the graffiti that we've seen.

Bear they any resemblance to the graffiti that we've seen? No. These are something completely different. They're just runes. Does it look like a language? It's just runes. Yeah. Does anyone... I a language? Or it's just runes? Yeah, does anyone... I know dwarven. I know

giants. You speak orc, right? I speak orc. I speak orc as well. For those of you who speak orc... Oh, I also speak giant. Roll a knowledge local check. Or linguistics. Wait, for people who speak orc? Or linguistics. These are runes. I have linguistics. And you speak

orc? The people who speak orc can Or linguistics. These are rooms. I have linguistics. And you speak orc? The people who speak orc can roll a knowledge local check. If you don't have a skill point in knowledge local, you can't roll knowledge local untrained? Yeah. You should be able to.

I mean, it's just your basic knowledge of what's around you. It's unadjusted. I'm going to do it again. 18. Ooh. Two. 15. A dose. Dose. 18 2 15

a dose dose it says screed in orc S K R

E E D does that word have any meaning to us it does not screed with a C instead of a K does

the runes are painted on this rock and this rock, Lork, you know that people sometimes refer to it as the Freestone and someone wrote Screed in these weird orcish runes Firestone? Are they cut

into the rock? Are they drawn in ink of some kind or chalk or blood? You recognize it, Lork, as war paint. Ah, hmm. Okay. The only other things of interest in the room are a cabinet and a tall bookcase

over here in the back corner. This is a cabinet, and this is a bookcase. Galabras is going to search the bookcase, and Gormley's going to go look at the cabinet. Okay, let me resolve these one at a time here. So, Galabras, you want to look at the bookcase? Yeah.

Okay, roll a perception check. Ten. Ten. Ten, you say? Yes, ten. Ten. Ten. Ten, you say? I, yes, ten. Okay. You see a hope knife lying in plain sight

on one of the shelves of the bookcase. Can Baron take an even closer look? Mm-hmm. Twenty-six. What the hell, man? Damn Damn you rolled a 19 26 A

You also see carved onto the bookshelf R plus B With a heart around it I turn to the group and I say Roderick and Brynja have copulated here And there's a bunch of I say we're going to have to go Roderick and Brynja have copulated here. And there's a bunch of... And I say, we're gonna have to go back and talk to Brynja. Hope she hasn't

left town. We didn't tell her. We did. Oh, we did. Oh, we definitely did. She's a person. What is your role? So we told her. Baron, what's your role for perception? 26. 26. You also see a large cobweb

connecting the bookcase to the cabinet, and right at that moment, a giant spider jumps out. Oh my god. Roll initiative. Oh crap. Would that have jumped out if I hadn't seen it? Yes, and it would have had a surprise round

on you. 21 for Gormley. Oh, there you would have had a surprise round on you. 21 for Gormley. Oh, there you go. That's that improvement. 25 for Baron. On a steel horse I ride. All right, so this was, it comes out of the bookshelf? It comes out of cobwebs connecting the bookshelf and the cabinet,

like off in that corner there. Okay. Make sense? All right. Who got what for, who are my 20 pluses? 25 for Baron. 21 for Gormley. Wow.

1918, 1716? I have a five. Five for Lorc. I have a five. I have eight. Galabras has an eight. How old is Lork? 44. I feel like Lork has low T.

Low T? Low testosterone. Low testosterone. No way, man. No way. This is all going to change when I'm level two. Damn it. It's got Lork T. this thing just kind of jumps out

Oh Troy just produced a really scary looking spider Token It is a giant spider The size of As big as if not bigger than Baron Whoa So it's pretty gross

What are you going to do? Gormley's going to make out with it I sense This is right do Gormley's gonna make out with it I sense This is right up Gormley's alley Hey It is Baron's turn I'm gonna use my feet up close and deadly Spend a grit point And fire my pistol at him

Don't break it dude Oh that is a 19 to hit. Nice. 19 to hit. Hits. Yeah. Just grazes it. God.

We should all have to roll and not be deafened. In like this small room, all set, extra time. It's like, boom! What is this magic? What the fuck was that? Stop doing that. Thunderstack. Five points of damage

Five points of bullet damage Nice shot It's blunt and piercing by the way Bullets are Again gunslinger best class ever Gormley Gormley is going to evil eye the spider I can do that right because it's a mind altering effect

But the spider has a mind presumably Yeah I can do that right, because it's a mind-altering effect, but the spider has a mind, presumably. Yeah. Okay, so it's a DC 14 will save. I'm going to do it on your attack rolls. Okay. You go to look at it, and it just shakes off. That wasn't even planned.

That just naturally happened. I love you, Sirenscape. And you realize that it was immune to it. Immune. All right, I'm going to take a five-foot step back. Fair enough. Good plan. And now the spider goes out and goes to bite Baron. Uh-oh.

Does it have to move? Like, does it have to get close? Oh yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't realize he moved. So it takes a step up and just bite City. No. Eleven. Does not hit.

Oh! The dwarf dodgers. The old dwarf dodger. 11? Does not hit. Oh. Just misses. The dwarf dodgers. The old dwarf dodger. All right, Calabras. Move to Canada. All right. To Canada, dwarf dodger.

I shot myself in the foot. Oh, shit. All right, I'm going to... Well, I'm going to swing at it with my mace and almost certainly not hit it. Let's see what happens. It'll be funny. Oh, my God, I rolled a 20.

Whoa. Mace Windu. Critical. Roll to confirm. Let's get critical. Fuck you, spider spider I did not confirm that's a hit so what's

you want to explain the critical well I didn't get the critical okay so the way criticals work is a 20

if you roll 20 on a 20 sided die it is a critical hit and ordinarily it's like double damage or times 3 damage depending on your weapon. But I have these awesome little critical cards

that describe very specific things that happen on a special attack like that. But when you roll a 20, so then you have to roll again. You have to roll a 20-sided die again to see if you make a normal hit. Not a critical hit, but a normal hit. If the second roll would result in a hit on the creature then that is a confirmed critical and you get to draw a card and you get a

bunch more damage get a bunch more damage another like different like cool effects we should also mention that some weapons have a higher critical range they can go from like 18 to 20 right yeah some weapons like you can roll like 18 or higher 19 or higher. It's still pretty rare and awesome when it happens. Yes, and unfortunately I am a shitty warrior. Bing! So I did not. But I'm going to roll an eight-sided die for damage. That's pretty good damage.

Three damage. Three damage. Lork the Orc. So creepy. Lork the Orc is going to step up Orc Is gonna step up And do a little Attack on this thing Ooh Can you get in the flanking?

You always get in the flanking? Oh yeah Oh yeah Oh you'd have to Yeah No you can Well you have reach Yeah I have reach

And if I flank it It's gonna Attack No no no Because Gormley Oh yeah Gormley's there Okay so I can get On opposite sides of it

So if you're On opposite sides of an opponent That's fl flanking, and you have a plus two. Get an advantage to hit. Okay, I'll try to hit it with my spear. Let's see what you got. 17 to hit. Lork steps up. It dodges right out of the way.

Jesus Christ. Round the two. Baron. Shoot it again. As a swift action with rapid reload, Baron reloads his weapon with a paper cartridge. Just a piece of paper? Well, it's a cartridge that holds.

It's a piece of paper that holds. Yeah, it says bang on it. It holds some powder, right? And then the penguin from the Batman TV series pops out. No, and it holds powder and a bullet. It just assists in reloading. It also makes my broken status misfire range go from one to one to two. Oh, okay.

There's more risk. Let's see what you got. Oh, he rolled a 17. It is a 21 to hit. Boom! Nails the spider in the face. Hope you like getting shot, spider. I don't.

It speaks comments. Oh, it's a seven damage. Whoa! It's one dead spider. Boom, shoots it. Still. Oh, come on. Kicking away.

It's a badass spider. This thing took two bullets to the skull. I'm doing this straight by the book. Straight to the dome. Fucking dick. Gorm Lee. Will level her crossbow and fire point blank shot. That is a 16.

16 misses. Misses. Now this spider is sort of trapped on all sides here. It knows it's trapped, so it backs up into the corner with a five foot spider step. Spider step, spider step. Take a five foot spider step. And it shoots a web at.

And he sighs. Lork. It goes, shoots a web at the Lork man. Lorkarama. 14. Miss. 14, the web flies over Lork's head. Ducks his head.

He may be tough, but he doesn't do a lot of damage. Galabras. Okay. Galabras. Newly confident? Yeah. Galabras. Newly confident? Yeah. Galabras. This is like, I'm a death-dealing maniac.

Let it ride, Galabras. Steps forward and swings again with his mace. 14. 14 misses. Lork the Orc. Take another stab at it with the spear. Wait, when it was flanked, when it backed away, did it incur an attack of opportunity?

No, because it took a five-foot stab. Okay. So that's free. That one's a freebie. First one's free. 21. 21. To hit.

Oh, that's a hit. Drives the spear in. Stab! Seven points of damage. Piercing damage. Guess how many hit points I had left. Seven. Seven points of damage. Piercing damage. Guess how many hit points I had left. Seven. Seven.

Oh, yeah, Lork. He stabbed straight through it. He's back in the side of the head. Right, exactly. And it dies. I'm going to have to file a report on that. Nice job. I use my Survival skill to see if there are any

Poison glands or anything of value Or use on the spider Sure 14 No It's nothing you'd be able to extract unless you were like super high level into like extracting poisons but it's also

dead so for every second it's dead that poison is getting less and less venomous um can I use my craft alchemy to do that you could try alright let's see 24 24 damn Let's see 24 24 Damn

I mean So it's roles like this That put DMs in a position Where they're gonna have to like Actually think Alright You have a You have poison

You have some poison You are poisoned Congratulations Just give him some spider poison What's it gonna do Just give him some spider poison He's not even gonna be? He's not even going to be able to use it Ever Ever

It's also never going to hurt anything Alright you're able to extract a little spider poison Awesome You have one vial of spider venom But most importantly You've got to roll now a save To see if you poisoned yourself That is some big dick

No no no If he rolls a one on the craft alchemy check He exposes himself. Oh, is that what it is? Yeah. All right, you got your spider venom. This guy does not want to give up anything. Not even worthless, worthless spider venom poison.

He gets off on being withholding. Tell me how much you want it. Tell me how much you want it. That's an arrest of development. That is an arrest of development. I got this. I think you should get a bottle cap for that. I gave you the venom.

That's all I can say. It's very creative. I will give out a nice job bottle cap at some point. I just keep forgetting to do it. Have we described bottle caps yet? No. Well, we're never going to get any. We're never going to get one.

When someone earns one, I'll describe it. Okay, so you've got your venom. I know you're all on the edge of your seats. I wonder what the fuck a bottle cap is. I can't wait to sell that Venom. Okay, so... So now, yeah, so now you've found a... You found the Hope Knife, and you stand in front of the bookcase,

and there's a cabinet there as well. And you look down, and on's a cabinet there as well, and you look down, and on the hope knife it says, for Roderick, my love. See you next time. Oh! Damn it! Outro Music