The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 7 - Humans, Centipede

Episode Date: July 14, 2015

Our heroes disturb some unexpected residents of the Plague House and face off against their creepiest enemies yet! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. You know the best way to a successful podcast? Lots of quiet drawing. Combat reaches an all-time high. You see from above, two more spiders. What? Come down and... Collaborate with your spiders!

But the crits just keep on coming. If you are rolling criticals for four hours or longer, please call your doctor. See a healer. Holy shit. And despite Matthew's best cackle. That's pretty good. It's good. It's a good start.

It's a good draft. It's a good draft. I need to work on it. Danger still gets too close for comfort. Looks like Galabras will live another day. All right. all right. Oh, this is fun. We're having a good time. All right, Baron Von Spiderkiller.

The adventure continues right now. Hello, my friends, and welcome to the newest episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast. Tis I, Galabras the Cleric, otherwise known as Skid, the guy who plays Galabras the Cleric, otherwise known as Skid, the guy who plays Galabros the Cleric on the Glass Cannon podcast. Hello, it's me. Thank you all so much for listening. We've had an amazing response to the show, way, way better than we anticipated,

and just want to give a couple of shouts out to people who have helped make that happen, one of whom is our good buddy, Steven Stagliano, fan of the show. He is on Twitter, at Steven Stag, Steven with a PH, the proper spelling of Steven. So give him a follow on Twitter and he might follow you back, although he likely won't as he only appears to follow 27 people on Twitter. So I don't know what he's doing. people on Twitter. So I don't know. I don't know what he's doing. Also want to thank Nick Lowe, also another friend of the show and a fan. Marvel's own Nick Lowe, editor in charge of the Spider-Man series of comics at Marvel. He also is a big fan of the show, not in an official Marvel capacity, mind you, but he still likes the show and has tweeted as much. And that's been a huge

help. So thank you at Nick underscore Lowe underscore on Twitter and that's been a huge help so thank you at nick underscore low underscore on twitter he's been awesome also want to thank fan of the show cameron from austin texas who let me know that he actually served in iraq with a fellow soldier named gormley who he adds the fellow really looked like a gormley which i don't know what that means but it sounds horrifying but that's awesome it's got to be a huge advantage to go to war with a The fellow really looked like a Gormley, which I don't know what that means, but it sounds horrifying. But that's awesome. It's got to be a huge advantage to go to war with a witch because we love having one. So it sounds great.

So please also check out our new website, www.glasscanonpodcast.com. We're working on that as we speak. Also, please follow us on twitter at glass cannon pod and check out our tumblr www.glasscanonpodcast.tumblr.com we have all of our we actually got new sketches for our characters uh that got done and they look amazing and i think they hopefully will be up by the time this airs, so please check those out, and a bunch of other cool stuff, maps and other pictures. So, please enjoy our newest episode, Episode 7, Humans, Centapeed. All right, all right. You have found a hope knife that says, for Roderick, my love.

And you're standing in front of a bookcase, a rotten cabinet, and a dead spider. We actually found two Hope knives, correct? You did. You found a rather ornate one in the other room, which you appraised at 100 gold pieces. But this one is clearly much more special, because it is the lost Hope knife that

Brynja originally gave to Rodrik. Gormley wants to search the cabinet. Okay. So you search the cabinet, and there's a bunch of, like, boards are all rotted and kind of gnarled, but you see something beyond the rotted boards.

So the rotted boards are the shell, like the shell inside? Yeah, they're all kind of like warped and rotted, so. Can I roll perception to see what it is? Or can I break it? You have to push aside the boards. I reach in and push aside the boards.

You push aside the boards and you find a couple of things. Nice! We needed those. I need those things. You find an iron flask containing some sort of oil. You also find some sort of potion.

A beat-up scroll case holding two scrolls. Fancy. And you also find two vials of holy water. That's nice. Can I do a craft alchemy on the oil? Sure. Eleven. It's an oil of magic weapon.

Y'all, this is an oil of magic weapon. So you guys can spellcraft the potion or the scrolls. I'm going to spellcraft the scrolls. 19. Nailed it. Do you see 19? Yeah, it was enough, though. The case itself is only worth five gold pieces,

which is pretty good for a beat-up scroll case. But the two scrolls, one is a scroll of Summon Swarm, and one is a scroll of Knock. Oh. Lock box. Knock is good because it opens locked shit. Did you get the...

And... Yeah, so... And the spellcraft thing in general is just like when you get a scroll you don't necessarily you're not necessarily able to read the magic on it because it's a magical you know language that's interesting and different weird and if you're a magic user you can try to roll to see if you can decipher what it says and gormley is good at this apparently it's a it's a i have i have a i have a skill rank it, and it's also because my true now, my artifact hunter status,

I get a bonus in there. Ah, that's cool. So you're like an ugly Tomb Raider, basically. An ugly old Tomb Raider. So here's my question, maybe this will be interesting or maybe not. If I want to use the spell in the scroll, how can I do that uh you basically i mean it's complicated but basically if you have you have to have the spell

available to you uh in your spell list for your class so it has to be something a witch could ever cast like a summon swarm i'm sure a witch could cast and uh you then just if you can if you know the spell you can just read it and automatically cast the spell and the scroll vanishes it's like and then that's right and then the swarm comes in or you can study the scroll memorize it and for a witch and put, you can put it into your familiar's mind. It also destroys the scroll. You don't get to use the spell, but now you have access to the spell forever.

Oh, you do? That's cool. That's like wizards are great, because whenever they find a scroll, a wizard can copy it to his scroll book, and now he has access to that spell. Right, so for a witch, that version of the spell book is the familiar.

So when the familiar dies you have to start over. Wow. So if you had some badass spells hooked up to your green scorpion and it gets stepped on. You lose by say a half-orc. A clumsy half-orc. I had my

wish spell! Sorry, it's now a pile of goo. I had my wish spell! Right. Sorry, it's now a pile of goo. I'd have to look, but it's something like I can retain two spells from the familiar. It's tragic. It's pretty tragic. It's pretty tragic.

But there is an item that you can get that costs like 3,000 gold pieces or something like that. It's called like a stone familiar or something. And it's like a statue of like a familiar something and it's like a statue of like a familiar and it's like a hard drive for your spells for a witch so you could like save your spells for if your familiar dies you can use this item to transfer it to the new familiar so it's like a pet rock yeah yeah except really really really powerful all right uh and the potion

is a potion of shield of faith. Oh. And that's something that Galabras would use, right? Yep. I'm just rolling that 19 over because nothing more boring to me than a praise chest. I have a mage armor potion. I can still use that, but not as a mage, though, right? Potions, yeah. Potions, anybody can. It actually fell out of your purse when you were trying to extract venom from the spider.

And it shattered. It's a backpack, and I also have a belt pack. It's a valise and a chandelier. Okay, so what I see is we're at this bookshelf and cabinet and dead spider husk, and then sort of, I guess, behind us, I mean, we're facing the room with the going downstairs where the creepy thing came up. Right, you're facing a second door which you know would lead into that stairwell.

Right, but what about the other side of the room? It's just a deeper part of this hallway and you see that towards the end of the room the floor has caved in and you can see straight out to outside because the building out there has also collapsed and there's a pile of rubble about 15 feet high

on the other side of that hole in the floor. Okay, so can... And again, all along your right is this stone that used to just be outside of the building. And it's got runes written on it. Runes that read Screed in Orc. And you can see the sky above you. And even though it's day by now,

it's dark as fuck in here. Okay, so can Lork sort of move towards the gaping hole on the outside, moving along the boulder to the right and just seeing what's on that whole side of the place? What's, I guess guess open to the sky? Sure. Like, is there anything between? I mean, basically, this is where the tracks led into, isn't it?

Where the troll tracks led in? Well, you know they came in from the outside of the building. You would think that they led in around here. But it's unclear because now you see walls and stuff at the end of the hallway, which I am now going to draw. You know the best way to a successful podcast? Lots of quiet drawing. Yeah, people love, listen, lots of visual.

That's what I've heard. And Troy just drew a bunch of happy little stairs. Into the rock. All right, so at the end of the hallway, and that's where you end up right there? Yeah. Can I ask you a quick question, Troy? I'm sorry, we just don't have a lot of time.

Yes, of course you can. If your dungeon master was also an alter ego, like our player characters are, what would you call yourself? Gary Sinise. I don't even know what that means. This is the first name. I believe that name is taken.

I'm your GS. Gary Sinise. Sorry, somebody registered with SAG. All right, so there's a door on my right and stairs to my left. Stairs, yeah. Are they going up? A collapsed stairwell to the left.

Going up or going down? Going, or they would have went up. So basically, you see a wooden staircase that once led to an upper story, and it's all but crumbled to ashes. The northern wall, like I said, is completely collapsed, and the floor underneath is sunk entirely, leaving just a dark, gaping hole in the ground, surrounded by rubble. There's a single door to your right, Lork,

which exits the room, presumably to the outside. Okay, let's go up the stairs. One thing first. Gormley's going to walk over to the hole. Are there small bits of rubble about? Things that I could pick up? Sure. Show me where you're going.

I'm just going to stand on the edge of the hole there. I'm going to grab a piece of rubble and cast light on it. Okay. And toss it down into the... Roll a perception check. Nine. Okay.

As you start to walk there, the floor begins to collapse. Oh, no. Oh, no. I'll try to grab... Lork will try to grab her. Roll a reflex save. I have feather fall, so I can

if I were to fall anywhere, I can... Well, Lork doesn't know that. Reflex save? Yep. Can I eat it? Sure. Am I just going to roll a reflex save, basically? Yeah. 23.

You would have fallen in, but Lork grabbed you and pulled you back and the ground crumbles beneath you and falls into the hole. Yeah! Nice. Thanks, Lork. Lork pulls you back. Don't mention the feather fall to Lork. Let him have this moment. Don't have this moment.

And that collapses. So that space you were standing on is no longer there. So did that happen before I even got to the rock and the light? Yes. Can I do that now? Playing with fire, kid. I stand back some and throw it into the hole. And you want to just throw a rock into the hole?

Well, I cast light on it so it will emanate light. Okay. And I throw it down into the hole so we can see if we can see anything. And how deep it goes. Okay. You throw this thing into the hole and it just goes... You hear it, but you can't see anything. Interesting.

Okay. So let's not go down there. So it's hundreds and hundreds of feet is what you're saying. To thousands. Troy. so let's not go down there so it's hundreds and hundreds of feet to thousands Troy just handed me a note that says Galabras swan dives into the hole wait a minute

that's what you want to do you know what I think it's about time Lork that was a great reflex save you get a bottle cap so what does that mean Troy well I'm glad you asked Orc, that was a great reflex save. You get a bottle cap. Hey! Gormley's left. So what does that mean, Troy? Well, I'm glad you asked.

I forgot. You get advantage, which is a D&D 5th edition term. So basically, any time you want, you can say, I'm going to cash in this bottle cap so that I can roll twice and take the better roll. And you can use that any time. But you can also say... But it has to be a D20 roll, right?

You can't use it for rolling damage. Yeah, no, no, no. It's just like, I'm going to try and hit this guy. I'm going to use my bottle cap. Or I need to make a reflex save on falling, like roll twice and take the better one. Use the bottle cap. And then you can also use it to disadvantage me,

where you can be like, I do not want this thing to hit me. I'm going to use this bottle cap to disadvantage you, Troy. And then I got to roll twice and take the lower number. Nice. It's just a thing that's a house rule that we borrowed from D&D 5th, and it's really fun. Even though I don't give a lot of bottle caps out. Ever.

And that one was just really good. Because I'm a great guy. All right, so there's this door that I think is heading outside. Do you guys want to just peek out and see if there's anything outside? Take a peek. Just take a gentleman's peek. Give it an old college peek. I will open up the door, assuming it's unlocked, and try to peek outside.

He thinks he's going to open up the door. It is stuck closed. Use the knock spell! No, sorry. So it's not locked, it's stuck closed. Yeah, it's stuck closed. Kick's stuck closed kick it down kick it down do you want me to try to bust through this thing i mean i don't think it's worth it i don't think there's any point really i'd like to go up the stairs well the stairs are collapsed correct

no no the stairs on the other side that we ran away from down the stairs well there's this other door there's another door the stairs to the far north end of the man? I think go up and down. Oh. Did I misunderstand that? Those stairs down the end just go down. Oh. It's a wraparound staircase. Kick it open, then.

Well, we have one more unchecked door besides this stuck one. Do you just want to check that real quick? Check. First of all, everybody roll a perception check. 22. 11. 21. 11.

Okay. Who rolled the... 22 right here. 22 is the highest? Call me. Okay. Just at that moment, you see from above

two more spiders. What? Come down and... Galabras yells, spiders! Surprise. Oh, my God. I think you have blisters. So they come from over the broken ceiling?

They come from above. Through the broken ceiling? Yeah, through the broken, like, near the collapsed staircase. They were up there on what was left of the ceiling, and they just descend down. One attacks Gormley. The other one attacks Galabros in a surprise round. Roll initiative.

So are they attached to webs? Did they web down or did they... There is a web attached to the ceiling. Grant's die hit my die and I was about to roll an 18 and it turned into a 2. Classic Grant. That sounds like a re-roll to me. my die and I was about to roll an 18 and it turned into a 2. Classic Graham.

That sounds like a re-roll to me. Oh, 1. I rolled a 1. That's what you get. I rolled a 1 too. Classic. Oh boy. Is there any battling music on Sirens?

There definitely is Battling spider music? Again, we should mention that our ambient music and sound effects Are provided by Sirenscape How do you spell that, Skip? That's S-Y-R-I-N-S-C-A-P-E Sirenscape They're not a sponsor, but we do plug them a lot

So maybe they will be That is Sirenscape Yes, that is actually Sirenscape creator Benjamin Loomis. That is his voice. Well, he's Australian. That is how they talk. Who are my 20 pluses?

You're going to have to go way down. Oh man, who are my 10 pluses? 13. 13 fores? 13. 13 for Baron. 13 for Baron. The Dwarven. No one higher than Baron.

Not me. Not Lork. Christmas. All right, who's got nine? Lork's got those old man reactions. Eight? Seven? Gormley has eight.

Gormley has eight. Gormley has eight. Six? Five for Lork. And what about Galabra? That's a one. Sorry. Oh, so you have no initiative bonus.

A natural one is a one. I'm sorry. I forgot. I feel like James Harden dragging this team to 50 wins no matter what happens. Very specific reference. I'm sure there are a lot of nerds listening to this who also love professional sports. I love the Oklahoma City Thunderbirds. Oh, no, no, no.

Those are the Houston Rockets I was thinking of Russell Westbrook I apologize The first thing you notice is these spiders Are pretty big but they don't look as badass As the one that just fought you There's two of them and they're coming down First one attacks

Galabras Oh no Ten I had to check Because I don't know if your AC could be ten Oh no 10 Oh it's a miss I had to check because I don't know your AC could be 10 and then the other one attacks Gormley

and misses and that was the surprise round Quick little note about surprise rounds basically these things stealthed down and so they rolled their stealth check, you guys the PCs rolled your perception check and their stealth check beat your perception check, so that means they get

a free round before combat even begins. Their stealth check beat a 22? Yeah, they are Well, spiders are very stealthy. They're stealthy. And they also came from above the ceiling like little Miss Muffet when she was sitting on her tuffet. Now, the game begins.

Okay, round one. And the spider that just attacked Galabras is going again! Oh, man. This is so unfair. And, ooh, that's going to be a hit. 18? Yeah, that's a hit. Okay.

It bites for one point of damage But I'm gonna need you to do Oh no Poison check? A fortitude save Oh boy What are these spiders Have some sort of

Spider venom? What kind of spider is this? What was that? Craft alchemy check Take their spider away From the barren From their poison Uh Uh Fifteen Help Fifteen? Yeah Fortitude? Spider away from the Baron?

Fifteen. Fifteen? Fortitude? Looks like Galabras will live another day. Alright, alright. Oh, this is fun. We're having a good time. This is fun.

Alright, Baron Von Spiderkiller. So currently, we're in a three long by three long kind of rectangle formation with the spiders at the front. Galabras and... God damn it. Gormley. Gormley. Followed by Baron and Lork. So I'm going to make a little L-shaped move around from the back of this rectangle. So I'm at a diagonal to the spider, please.

So I'm now flanking. I'm in between Gormley and the spider. And I'm going to shoot it with my pistol. Did that provoke an attack of opportunity? No, you took the wide way around. Okay, I trust you guys. So that's a six plus

four is a ten to hit. And what was his weapon, was this? Pistol. Your pistol. Just comes around, shoots,

misses El Spidero. Gormley McGorm's a lot. Well, the last spider was immune to my hexes, so I'm just going to line up my crossbow and take a shot right at it. Fair enough.

Plus three, plus two, so that's 16. 16 hits. Hold that thought. I was going to say, that does five points of damage. And which one? This is the one that attacked you? Yeah. Okay.

Now, that was a crossbow. No, no, no. This is the one that attacked Galabras. That's the one that attacked Galabras. Yeah, that's the one you're flanking. Now, here's the... Oh, no. In that case, it's an 18.

Yeah, it still hit. Now, was that a ranged attack into a melee? Did you... Oh, yeah. I guess it was, yeah. So, that would be a minus four to the attack. So, it's a 14. It's a 14?

Yeah. So, you rolled an 18? Yeah, because you forgot the flanking bonus. Ah, so you got the flanking bonus for a plus two, which was just enough for it to still hit for five points of damage. Yeah. Nice job.

What we were just discussing is basically if you're using a ranged attack like a crossbow or a bow or throwing a stone from a sling, if you're throwing into an enemy that's involved in melee combat with one of your allies, you take a minus four to the attack. But he still... Troy, there's no time for this. We're under attack by spiders. Oh, I'm sorry.

I cannot deal... The worst part is I was just talking to myself. All right. It is spider number uno, the one that attacked Gormley, is going to do it again. Oh.

Man. And I dropped my die. Ooh. 13. I have a 13 aces. Oh, brother McBrother. Ooh, 13. I have a 13 aces. Oh, brother McBrother. Oh, brother where art thou? That's going to be three points of damage

from its poisonous bite. Now give me a little fortitude save. There you go. 18. Yeah. Seems like you're going to be okay. For now. For now.

Well done, well done. Lork. Lork is going to, let's see, yeah, he'll just move around. He's behind Galabras. He's going to move around him and just stab with the spear. Okay. Which one are you attacking? The one that attacked Galabras twice.

Okay, the one that Gormley just hit. Yes, the one that Gormley just hit. Yes, the one that Gormley just hit. Natural 20. Natty McTwenties? Natty McTwentieson. Oh, man, he's finding his stride. So now we've got to see if I confirm the critical. Come on, Lork.

Come on, Lork. Do it. Back in the game. Do it. Confirmed. Confirmed crit. Oh, yeah! Is this the first confirmed crit?

This is absolutely the first critical.med crit This is the first Absolutely the first It's only like The second battle Ladies and gentlemen We are currently Pulling a critical card Out of Deckbox By Ultra Pro

You can visit Their website By going to www.ultrapro.com We're so nice That might not be true It might not be true At all

I got it on Amazon Oh I'm sorry This might just be The container For the cards You can buy A very nice card container. All right, so critical. What kind of weapon was that?

It was piercing. All right, so. Nerve cluster. Normal damage, and the target is stunned for 1d6 rounds. Oh! That is very powerful. And then it gets a fortitude save each round to act. So each round it still has to make it.

If it makes it once, it doesn't save forever. Sure. Each round it wants to act, it has to make a fortitude save. Otherwise it remains stunned. Correct. For the 1d6 rounds. All right, roll for damage. And then roll for the 1d6.

Roll for damage. Yeah, Lork! 11 damage. Oh, yeah. So Lork steps up and hits this thing straight in the heart. Doesn't even matter about the... Lork is screaming. He's just like...

Kills it immediately. Yes! Where is this fuck? This guy? Yeah, that... Fuck. Dead. Nice.

All right. Now you guys are catching your stride It is old Gel's turn Old Galabras Alright Gel is going to do a 5 foot step Away from the other spider that's attacking Normally

And I'm going to use My Domain ability Bit of luck I'm going to touch yourself Baron on his penis

tip of my dick that's actually straight out of the core rule book so next time you roll a 20 sided die you may roll it twice and take the more favorable results so you just have bottle caps on you all the time. That's your domain ability is a bottle cap.

I can do it six times per day. That's amazing. Six times? We need to start utilizing that all the time. I keep forgetting I have it. Skid is Viagra. That's why I'm grabbing that dick. Straight up see Alice, if you are rolling criticals

For four hours or longer Please call your doctor She a healer Shit Alright well Perfect timing Well done Cause it's round two

And it's Baron's turn Alright Baron Baron says Much obliged Clever He like touches him on the shoulder Good luck Sixteen Sixteen hits He like touches him on the shoulder Good luck 16?

16 hits But I get to roll twice Yeah Could be a critical Okay the 16 let's go with the 16 The 16's good Oh I used as a swift action Reloading with a paper cartridge

Allow me to You're not allowed to do that after you've started your attack roll I used as a swift action reloading with a paper cartridge. Allow me to... How convenient. You're not allowed to do that after you've started your attack roll. According to the rule book. Oh! Seven points of damage. Oh! Searing bullet right into the eyeball of this thing.

It's still trucking. Gormley. It's some sort of one-eyed spider? Gormley's going to take a five-foot step back and shoot at it. Do I have to load my crossbow? Yes, that's a move action, so you can't take the five-foot. You can take the five-foot step and load it. You can't shoot it.

I'll take the five-foot step and load it. Okay, so loading, ready for another round. It's cocking and jiving. Cocking and balls. Cocking and balls. All right. Oh, the spider has no one to play with. Well, he's stepping right one to play with. Well,

he's stepping right up to Gormley again. He's got a thing. Fuck you, Gormley. For this woman. Uh, and I would say that is a miss. All right.

As that loud S goes through my mic. Lork, the orc. Lork is going to stab again. Fresh off a kill. Another natural 20. Get out of here. Two in a row?

Two in a row. I got to let me see what I confirm. Statistically improbable. It's an 11 to confirm. It does not confirm. Damn it. But it's still a hit. Still a hit.

Roll for damage. Nine points of damage. Lork kills the second time. Oh, my God. Boom. Roll for damage. Nine points of damage. Lork kills the second spider. Boom! Oh, man! He's like, this feels really good! Really, really, really good! Never get behind a desk again. Fuck that desk!

All right, congratulations. All right. Spider hazard avoided. Nice. And Gormley didn't fall through a black hole. You killed the other spider right? did you kill all three of the spiders? did you have the killing blow on them?

no you had the killing blow on the big spider oh well I still want to call you the orcan man I'll take it alright well done awesome I'll take it I'll take it alright well done awesome would you like to extract a lot of venom Troy just gives you free venom

yes time for an alchemy check on this motherfucker woo one one one give him a bit of luck second spider let's go second spider let's go no eleven yeah All right. Yeah. Second spider. Let's go. Second spider. Let's go. No, 11.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Troy wins again. The house always wins. Okay. Nice job. What is next?

Let's check out that other door. Yes. The one that we haven't gone through yet that was in the first hallway that we I see that door there yes classic door just your box standard door it's just your run of the mill door it opens it closes does it actually open?

let me just look at my paperwork here. What are you, a door salesman? That's amazing. It opens. It closes. It locks. It locks. It cocks. It's basically, you see a hallway in front of you. I lurk, I'll walk down the hallway and look to the left, around the corner to the left.

You turn the corner and immediately... Twelve spiders. Uh, no. Fifteen. You see two giant centipedes coming at you. What the f... Roll for initiative, motherfuckers! Oh my god, Jesus.

Shit, Jesus. God, mother. There's no rest for the weary here. Yes! I just rolled my third five in a row for initiative. Wow. Oh, you're rolling a five-sided die. Oh, damn!

That's the thing. So they're acting very slowly. That's really good for a five-sided die. Troy just put two really gross-looking giant centipede tokens on the map, and they look really good. Troy just put two really gross-looking giant centipede tokens on the map, and they look really gross. They are really gross. Okay, let me roll my centipedes initiative. Oh, that was a good one.

As was that. With 100 legs, you'd think they'd do pretty well on initiative. Yeah. They're pretty speedy. All right, anybody got over 20? 24. 24. You guys are rough. 1918. 18. 18. Oh. Ooh. They're pretty speedy Anybody got over 20? 24 1918 What were your initiative bonuses?

I'm assuming Gormley has the higher initiative She does I have a plus 7 to my initiative And uh Oh boy That was a little much Set up heat Set up heat I'm sorry you guys rolled 18 you said? Oh, boy. That was a little much. Set a piece! Set a piece!

Lork, I'm sorry, you guys rolled 18, you said? 18. Lork, what'd you roll? Five. Okay, Baron, you're up. You just see Lork round the corner and go, jump! Baron shouts as a swift action, Lead them back!

Well, let me use a Texan accent. Lork, lead them back out. And I take a five foot step. Well, actually, I move to the left side of the door. So over here and a square away. Okay. You know what you could do? You could ready an action where if you see them.

Yes. You could move and then fire. I will say that as a swift action, what I already said, which is lork, leave them out, and I will ready an action. So you can hold actions during combat, and you can wait for the opportune moment to go. An action in this game is normally during combat like a second or two seconds. It's very fast, even though it takes a while to talk about it. Super fast!

So you're going to ready an action that if a city becomes within striking distance. I'm going to fire at their fucking skull, or whatever their exoskeleton would be called. Fire when ready. Gormley? Can I take a five foot step And ready an action Yes

So I'm going to take a five foot step Yeah there To the other side I would say So we can flank the door Great You don't have to take a five foot step You can just move wherever you want and ready an action. Great.

I'll move to... Move me back against the far wall. Yep. And I'll ready an action that if I see a centipede, I will evil eye it. Probably won't work. No? I don't. Insects, I think.

It's like insects, I think. They don't have enough of them. Well, he does. Like an animal. You don't know. Give it a shot. Yeah, give it a shot. You gotta learn.

You gotta learn as a character. And then get hugs or loves. Okay, so you're readying... Eagle Eye. Eagle Eye. Eagle Eye. Eagle Eye. Eagle Eye Cherry.

Eagle Eye Cherry. All right, Galabras, old gal. I'm going to use a bit of luck again. I'm going to touch Baron's butt. Good luck. Every Pathfinder game I have with a support character, Baron's butt. And he said, good luck. Every Pathfinder game I have with a support character, I have a strangely sexual relationship

of not my choosing. Yeah, that's true. It's forced upon you every time, and it's true. Alright, Galabros is getting as weird as Gormley. Now, um... Hey. These centipedes are gonna attack Ol... Olork. Olork. Oh, lork.

Oh, lork. All right, so this one steps up here and just, and that's actually the photo of it there. It is going to try and bite lork. 11? Miss. Blocked. Probably a miss.

All right. And then the other one just takes a step up and kind of clogs the hallway there and just making weird sounds like that. Lork, your turn. Lork will... Stick and move, buddy. He's going to attack.

Oh. With his spear. Oh. A miss. With the spear. Oh. We'll miss. With the spear. And then he will... You got some points in health. He will...

Grow a pair? All right, fine. He'll grow a pair. So he's going to draw them back up the hallway towards his compatriots, and he will take an attack of opportunity From them in trying to get away Ah fair enough

But only one So yeah okay so that guy goes to bite you As you're running away and doesn't get you Ah lucked out lucked out alright Looks like you got the bit of luck Uh okay Um okay Next round Baron Um Okay. Okay.

Next round, Baron. Can I hold my action again? You can shoot through my square. You can shoot through me. Okay. I don't think you can see. I can't see around the corner, though, right now. But yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I'm going to continue to hold my action until they come out. Or no, ready, ready. Ready my action, yeah. So I'm going to continue to hold my action until they come out. Or no, ready, ready. Ready my action, yeah. Which is shoot them if they show up. Okay, so he's still in readying mode. Gormley. Still readying. Readying the evil eye.

Galabras. Who has now used two bit of Lux. Yeah, I'm'm gonna move over To the opposite side Of the door And wait for One of these things To come through

So currently We are in like a Are you gonna ready An action there Galabras Yeah If one comes Within

Macing range I'm gonna mace it We are in a Crescent shape Formation Around a door A bottleneck on the other side that the centipedes have to cross

through and we're basically going to whack a mole once pretty much all right bring it centipede and sure enough they bring it this thing just kind of comes actually no it can't move one more moves right up into the middle of all of you

and attacks Lork again before he attacks they get oh that's right it comes out and now you guys had been ready triggers all the ready to action so we'll start with wait wait wait let's start with oh yeah let's start with Baron I'm going to go in initiative order

Baron so I rolled a 16 on my first roll. My second roll is a 2 again. Amazing. The exact same two rolls. So it's a 20 on the first roll. The 20 hits. Six points of damage. So this thing turns the

corner and once it enters the door Baron bears down on it Shoots it and kills it Oh my gosh You know what? That kind of sucks Because I rolled another 20

Oh no Hey, hey I believe you, Galabros It's right here You can't kill it twice Definitely Joe has just made a face To suggest that he does not.

Damn it. All right, now that... Does that... When that thing's dead, does Gormley and Galabras' action still happen? Or no, it died, so they still... No, you said you were going to resolve it in initiative order, so... So we have to ready new actions

if we wanted to ready new actions? No, because we didn't take our action yeah I would say that they're still readying yeah sure why not it's much more interesting than like hold on let me look uh okay so sure enough this thing comes around the corner sees it's dead brother

and stays right there uh I don't believe it has any ranged attacks can Gormley see it? I think she can see it. Yep, that's within Gormley's range. So now Gormley gets its... Do an evil eye.

Evil eye. So if it's subject to it... So you do your evil eye, and it does nothing. Fair enough. You're so useless. Level one. Sometimes there's a little bit of truth in comedy, and sometimes there's 100%.

No, I'm kidding. We love you. All right, so now it's going to be Lork's turn. Okay, Lork will step up and attack. And Lork is using a spear, so he's not in direct melee range. Yeah, he's going to reach an extra square away and stab. Ooh. Fifteen.

Fifteen hits. Yeah! Nine points of damage. And Lork kills the other side. Yeah! Nice job! Nice. Nice. I'm digging this combo here. You guys are really good. The spear and the firearm.

Very effective. You guys are doing good. The spear and the firearm. Very effective. You guys are doing really well at killing minor vermin. Not right. First level, man. Just level grinding, man. That's what you do. Level grinding. That's what you do, dude.

Speaking of which, are we still first level? This is the sixth episode. I know, I know. I can't just give it away. Oh, God. What do you want me to do? Some sort of dance? What do you want me to do? Some sort of dance? Like, what do you want me to do?

It's your sick, twisted mind one. What do you want me to do? Earn enough XP to reach second level? Not on my dead body. All right, so this room here, Lork, you would have seen, having rounded the corner, most of this room is in complete shambles. You realize now, as it was pretty clear, that this was the collapsed wall that you first viewed when you came upon the plague house. So that wall is just a heap of rubble.

But there is a staircase to the northeast leading to a wooden loft upstairs, which you realize is the second floor, that little piece of second floor that was still left over. Whereas the rest of the top floor was pretty much unusable. And then the area beneath the loft is just filled with fallen beams, bricks, debris, totally impassable. So there's stairs that lead up there. Can I do a perception check

for any other hope knives or lockets or used used condoms sure lambskin uh 15 perception uh okay you uh you look around and you don't see anything but you do notice uh a secret door. Ooh! Secret doors are the funnest. Worst fun would be grammatically correct. It's right there. And when you open it, it just leads to the debris of the stairs. So maybe it was something that...

Like a secret door under the stairs? Yeah, it would have been. Where Harry Potter lived. That's where Harry Potter lived there. I don't read those books, so I don't know what that means. You're a wizard, Gormley. Fucking nerds.

Come on. I'm a witch, thank you very much. Well, do we want to check out that loft? Because if we want to send somebody up, I can go because I have Feather Fall in case the ground is not placed up. Do you have any climb skill, though? It's always best to send your caster alone into an unknown room. If you don't have a climb skill, I think that either lork or barren. Is it a climb?

Is it broken stairs up? No, the stairs, they look like you can walk up. I'll let you go if you want to go. But leave your armor and weapons. Just leave your weapons and abilities behind. Did you take a journal we could possibly... Leave your journal with us.

It's probably best if we blindfold you in case there's a Medusa. Do you want to come with me? I can only feather fall myself. I can't feather fall. I'm not concerned. You don't have communal feather fall? What kind of witch are you? Why don't you go ahead up and Galabros and I will follow right behind.

Alright, so I'll go around the corner. I'll polish my gun. I'll come up. But this time, G come up to the loft. Alright, but this time, Gormley leading the way up into the loft. Gormley leads the charge. Yep, Lork right behind. She does love old artifacts.

So most of this wooden loft is surprisingly still standing. It's the only remnant of the building's destroyed second floor that you could actually walk on. This roofless chamber is completely exposed to the elements and filled with just debris, soot, fire-damaged furnishings, and charred wooden beams. There is a large

soot-covered brass statue of a goddess with a longsword. Longsword in one hand and a kite shield in the other, standing precariously on the northern edge of the platform, right above the rickety flight of stairs. Beren does a perception check on the floor to see any structural inconsistencies or weaknesses. Is that okay?

13. You seem like this is okay. Like, you can't go running and jumping around up here, but you feel like it's going to hold you as long as you don't do anything stupid. Galabras is going to do a religion check on the statue, see if he can identify the goddess in question, which I think I know what it is, but... 10.

DC 10 recognizes the statue as Iomidae, yes. I knew it. Now, do any of statue as Iomidae, yes. I knew it. Now, do any of you worship Iomidae? Hell no. Ah, God. You did grow up in a city that is predominantly Iomidae-based. Yeah, you know, Lork probably does, honestly.

I don't know. It's hard to say because he's got a criminal past and stuff like that, and now he's kind of like... Born-again Christian. You could be looking that through. But isn't Yomadai lawful, good, all things good? I mean, he's chaotic neutral. He can't take that, right? I wonder.

It's two steps away, isn't it? A religious transformation for him if he did decide, like, now's the time. Well, no, no, no. What I'm saying is, like, as a player, I probably didn't know that Lork does have a deity. Yomadai's cleric alignments are lawful good, neutral good, and lawful neutral.

Okay. So then he can't. Glory, good, law, sun, and war? Good to know. So yeah, no, not Yomadai. So none of us worship Yomadai. None of you worship Iomadai, okay. But you appreciate a good god statue when you see it. And maybe it's just being imbued by your recent kills

or the fervor of the moment, but you all feel immediately imbued with more powers as you level up to second level. Oh, snap! Nice! Well, maybe now I will go Iomadai. with more powers. As you level up to second level. Oh! Snap! Nice! Well, maybe now I will go Yomadai. I've had a religious awakening, too.

Fuck you, Desna. Holy shit. What have you done for me lately? All right, give us a little quick synopsis on leveling up. Yeah. So, once you earn a certain amount of experience points, like you, your characters learn gradually, get better at what they do as they experience the world, a certain amount of experience points like you your characters like learn gradually like get better at what they do as they experience the world and um you get a little better at everything

like spell casters learn new spells everybody gets new hit points you get a little bit better at like hitting things and a little bit better at staying alive yeah yeah and different levels like can come with certain perks depending on your class. And you can earn feats, which are little tricks that you can do. There's a lot of different things that can happen, but basically you just get a little bit better. And I think ultimately it's why we play, right?

I mean, leveling up is the coolest, funnest part. It's the great feeling. Outside of building the character. Learning new abilities, getting better at what you do is just the best. Da, it's a great feeling. Outside of building the character, like, leveling up. Yeah, learning new abilities, getting better at what you do is just the best. Right. Now, I asked you guys before you came to bring a fully leveled up second level character, second level of your character sheet so that you'd be prepared just in case you leveled up.

Any fun new tricks you guys can do or new shit? Hell yeah. Yeah. Let's start with Calabras. What's some of your new shit? I now have 15 hit points instead of eight. My saves went up slightly. My fortitude, my will saves both went up by one.

Anything interesting? I have an additional spell. Hold on. I have an additional spell, first level spell. That's good. I think my channel positive energy went up too, right?

No. No. I don't get more channels per day. No, that's only based on your modifier. I thought you meant like, don't get more channels per day no that's only based oh it might fire sorry it might i thought you meant like uh do you get more per day no i think is it i don't think it's 2d6 at third level i think isn't it it doesn't say it does that's one of the things like this program we use to do our characters like well cgen hero lab would tell you hero yeah yeah uh i don't know i'll i'll look it up.

So you might have a new, a stronger channel. Probably not. We'll have to look that up. One question I have about Skid's new statistics is he already mentioned his health points. However, in the interest of integrity and people not fudging their hit points don't we decide to roll with the dungeon master to make sure we do we yeah we do and actually what i did i i just i was at work and so i wanted it so i rolled uh a uh eight side of that twice and i just took the higher roll oh that's actually that actually is fine yeah wait didn't i i thought i rolled with you no no you did for in our other

game oh but not so you just straight cheated. I did. Well, it's an honor system thing. We're all friends here. I rolled with Joe and Matthew. And I sent a video of mine. Yeah. A brief, very brief video.

Matthew emailed me. He's like, can I call you to roll hit points? And I sent an email back two seconds later. I just rolled for you. I rolled a one. Was it? And he's like, I love that you are always close to a D6. Never far away from you.

Matthew, do you have any new stuff for Gormley for the second level? Yeah, we got some nice hit points. What did you end up rolling? I rolled a five. Oh, nice. It was a D6. A six. Gormley is uh which is pick a patron at first of all a mysterious force they don't quite understand but imbues them with certain

powers and at second level gormley gained jump which uh if i can the crisscross song exactly i just break out into song no uh it gives me a plus 10 enhancement bonus on acrobatics checks made to attempt high jumps or long jumps wow oh that's your agility thing

that's my agility thing yeah yeah I also gained a new hex cackle you're really getting less creepy I see as you level up

can we hear a quick cackle from you Matthew I'm working on a good one I mean to be honest with you, I can give you a draft. Yeah, please. It's like...

That's pretty good. It's a good start. I mean, it's a good draft. It's a good draft. I need to work on it. But I can use that as a move action once per round, and that allows me to extend the effects of other hexes, including Evil Eye, for one round each time.

That's pretty sweet. And as we've seen, Evil Eye, very effective against... Insects. Insects. But that's good. Now you know, like, when you fight an insect, like, he's probably going to be immune to mind-affecting effects. And he was. What about Lork?

Lork, as you know... Lork the Spider Slayer. Lork rolled max hit points, which is phenomenal for a guy who's going to try to take a lot of the damage. So he's up to 23 hit points now. Oh, yeah. It's a big jump. Good to know. I'm going to attack you more. Right?

It's a little easier for him to hit things now. The damage is still the same, but a little easier to hit. things now. The damage is still the same, but a little easier to hit. And his fun little special ability that he got at this level is... And this is a ranger special ability? He's a ranger, right? He's a ranger. He got

rapid shot. So he can now shoot his... If he doesn't move in a round, he can shoot his longbow twice in one round. That's huge! Yeah. Because what level do you normally get two attacks as a ranger? Third, fifth? Sixth level.

Sixth? Yeah, sixth level you get two attacks. Most people don't get rapid shot until third level at least because you have to take point blank shot first. Right. So it's like a prerequisite to take it. But rangers have this special thing where you pick a line of expertise for the rest of your character. And I picked archery. And you can take any archery feat without prereqs for the whole length of your character.

That's badass. Yeah. So I took it second level. I can shoot twice in a round, which is awesome. Now I take a penalty to hit, meaning it's going to be harder for me to hit if I take two. I become slightly less accurate. A penalty to both rolls? Yeah, a penalty to both rolls.

But if I do hit both, that's phenomenal. Still, you're rolling the dice more. That's cool. Grant, what do you know about Baron's second level? He's a little more acrobatic. He now is really great at sleight of hand. So I can conceal my weapons. Is this your card?

Exactly. I can pickpocket people, small items. If I get captured, I can hide my various accoutrements. In your butt. One exciting thing for the listeners, I think, is that you're about to hear a live hit point rolling section. You didn't do it before? Whoa, this is exciting.

So Troy and I, Gunslinger has a D10 hit dice. The highest hit dice you can have in this game typically is D12 for barbarians and fighters. D10 is the next highest. D8 is reserved for clerics typically.

Rogues. It's based on their role in the game, so someone who's more tankier and a frontline person who might have less versatility would have higher hit dice. Someone who's more versatile and can do cooler things, like our wizard. A glass cannon, if you will.

Basically, every level you go up, you get to roll that die again to see what your hit points are, but our house rule is since you could very well roll a 1 on a d12, and that would be pretty shitty, I roll with the player, and I let him take the better one. So here we go, Grant.

I rolled a 5 out of 10. Oh, a 2. The 5 is better. Hey, you can't go wrong with a 5. That's 50% is solid. Solid. Yeah, could be worse. A solid day's work. And that's why we do that, because if he just rolled a two and went up two hit points, you're going to be fighting much harder monsters at second level that could kill your character

without having those hit points. Speaking of killing your character, you guys ready to go downstairs? Oh, before we do, I did look it up, and you get your channel goes up at third level. I just saw that, yeah. Yeah, you get nothing special at second level. Yes. But you get an extra first level spell per day that's right and i also i think my base attack bonus goes up one so i finally get a bonus on my roll to oh there you go yes oh galabras the tank back in action see now because i have the confidence but you don't need an attack bonus when all you roll is 20s I know it's true

you really wasted that base attack bonus I totally did alright so you guys see the statue of Yomadai and then we work our way back down

the only way to go is the creepy stairs down with the dog sized creepy crawly thing right? as far as you know here's a quick

question for you. So I took damage in the last combat. I've just leveled up. So is it just, do I, if I had three points of damage, do I just go to my new HP and then subtract the three points of damage? No, basically your threshold now is higher, but you retain the current level of damage until you heal. And if you're unharmed?

If you're unharmed, then you have a higher threshold, but you retain the hit points you have. So once you take your next rest, then you can go back up to full HP. Oh, so we still have our level 1 hit points, right? So I still have 8. So maybe before you go downstairs, you want to channel and make positive energy over here. Yeah, I'm at a 6 right now.

A 6 HP. Oh, yeah, that's not good. I'm going to channel positive. Everybody gets 3 points. 3 hit points, alright. Okay. You still got what? 3 channels left?

I have 3 left. No, 2 left. 2 left. Well, I'm... Yeah, three left. Nice. No, two. Two left. Two left. Well, I'm sure there's nothing downstairs, so you guys will probably be fine. Okay, so you go back to the stairs? Yep.

Yeah, uh... Yeah, okay. Should we just charge down here? Yeah. Good? Why not? Don't want to rest up to full hit points? Everybody's good? Yeah.

All right. I'd love to rest. Well, let's see once we cast some spells. Okay. Maybe then. If you guys want to be little bitches about it. Oh, strong words from a dwarf. I do.

I do want to be a little bitch. Yeah, I mean, just obviously we've got to, let's see if you can use your potions. It means this kid's going to be your big healer right now, so he's going to keep him alive. Okay, so what's the party order going to this door? Lork will be up front with, I assume, our dwarven friend Baron right behind him.

We're the Mel Gibson and Danny Glover. Do you want me to take up the rear, Gormley, or would you rather? It doesn't matter to me. All right, I'll take up the rear. Okay. I mean, mechanically,

strategically, you should not. Because a bit of luck. You should be able to touch one of us easily and quickly. Oh, actually, yeah, that's true. I should be... Yep. Yep, okay.

And we just hope Gormley doesn't die. Fingers crossed. All right, so I open up the door again, bracing for a fight. Okay. And just as you do, a number of dire rats come running up the stairs at you. But you know what? Let's do this encounter next time. Oh, man.

Mother. Fuck you. Outro Music