The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 13 – Acts of the Apostles

Episode Date: June 13, 2022

Philly's native son, Cheese Whiz O'Brien, returned to his hometown in front of a packed crowd for one hell of a show to close out the year! Initiatives were rolled, tears were shed, minds were erased and good times were had at the first official Glass Cannon Network Christmas Spectacular! Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Grant Berger and Matthew Capodicasa as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/vv6m4x2NtQg Recap 14:23 Gameplay 22:58 For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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If only your sports team With that kind of... If only your sports team showed that kind of enthusiasm. How dare you? With that kind of enthusiasm, maybe the Eagles would have won more than one Super Bowl. Against, arguably, the worst Patriots team in the past 20

years. That's alright. Might have a little asterisk. This one's worse. This year's worse. But you know what, Joe? It's the holiday season. I'm not going to make you feel bad about your poor excuse for an American city. No, because I'm not going to do it.

The city itself does that for me all year long. I want to welcome everybody to the first official, unofficial Glass Canada Network holiday party, huh? Yeah! Happy holidays, everybody. I already regret this hat. I'm sweating. Oh, yeah. It's a million degrees up here.

I'm so pissed I wanted to get eggnog. We forgot to get eggnog. Yeah, we didn't get eggnog. Skid, I know you don't like it, but I would love some eggnog. I hate it. I hate it, yeah. We forgot to get eggnog. Yeah, we didn't get eggnog. Skid, I know you don't like it, but I love some eggnog. I hate it. I hate it, yeah.

However, instead of playing Pathfinder tonight, we will be reenacting the famous Charles Dickens classic, A Christmas Carol. Who am I playing? Chapter one. Marley was dead, after all. To begin with. Marley was dead. I'm sorry.

To begin with. Leave it to Cabinet of Casa to correct me. You call yourself a Christmas fan. You don't know Christmas. You wouldn't know Christmas if it hit you in the face. I've been looking forward to this show for at least the entire year. Haven't you? Oh, yeah.

Well, I have. Well, for one thing, it's... I like doing shows during a convention weekend Isn't that more fun? Because you play games all weekend long You get to return to your gaming roots We get to remember a time when we enjoyed doing this Before people complained about literally everything we do

Welcome to the media, man. That's right. No such thing as bad press. No, there is. There is. Believe me, I know. I'll put that to the test. Another reason I love this weekend

is during the holiday season. Isn't that the best, Skid? It's the most wonderful time of the year, just like the song says And for someone who spreads love and Christmas cheer All year long 24-7 You spread disdain and hatred to everyone you meet

365 days a year I'm just spreading love Skid just disagrees Look at that face of disagreement I like walking around this town We have our traditions, we go to Reading Terminal Market. That's right. We go to that same bar every time.

Yeah. I like seeing all the Christmas decorations. I like seeing all the little kids with their hopeful, smiling faces. They're too young, Grant, to know that they live in a poop city. No comment. Tis the season to be merry,

unless you're a miserable Grinch like Ebenezer Capitacazzo over there. Yeah. Give it up for Matty C, everybody, huh? Yeah. The four of us had to pin him down and stitch that sweater around his slight frame.

Took hours. Evidently not so slight. I'm sorry, sir. We don't make them that small. We're going to need a custom one then. We buy Matthew's clothes in like months, like a toddler.

Are you a 14 now, Matthew? Do you have a petite 24 months? For Matthew? A petite 24 months. Matthew, did you ever just look in the mirror at that fragile

little bearded face and say to yourself, you know what? Maybe today I'm going to be cool. Maybe today I'm going to put my high horse

in the stable for a little while and go three hours without correcting someone's grammar or misquoting Charles Dickens. There's only one person grammar or misquoting Charles Dickens. There's only one

person here who misquoted Charles Dickens. Maybe once in a while I'll hear one of Troy's jokes and not be like, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh. 2019. It would be a Christmas miracle, Grant. Speaking of Grinches, he's as tall as a Grinch, and he also has green spots on his crotch. Give it up for Grant Berger, everybody!

Yeah, Grant! America's number one Eagles fan. Let's go, Bergs! You ingratiate yourself. Fly, Eagles, fly! He loves them. His precious Eagles, he loves them You filthy spy

Get off of this stage immediately Now Grant, does your tribe of hill giants Celebrate Christmas? Or do they worship some sort of mud god During the winter solstice? We stick to the pagan calendar You're probably the only kid at Christmas That didn't receive clothes because they couldn't

Afford that much fabric where would they get all the fabric I bet you were the only kid in town whose gingerbread houses were two story walk ups you're very large you're different and I want you to know every day everything about you is different.

We're going to have a good time today. Oh, yeah. I can feel it. I can feel it. I might make fun of Philly, but this is a good crowd. Oh, yeah. No doubt about that. You can't spell Christmas without two letters from his nickname. Give it up for Skidmore, everybody!

Skid, I gotta know, how much has Christmas changed from the 1940s? Is it true that during the Depression you were lucky to get half an orange in your stocking? It's true. It's true. And you didn't complain about it? No. No? No. There was a war on. What do you want for Christmas this year?

World peace? Cash? I don't know. Actually, I got a couple of great birthday gifts last month from my girlfriend. I was told that she gave me an old original copy of the original James Bond role-playing game. Wow. And an original copy of the old West End Games

Ghostbusters RPG, which I loved as a kid. Yeah, it was great. With the dice and everything. It was awesome. I thought you were going to say she gave you an old copy of the Declaration of Independence. No. I dice and everything. It was awesome. I thought you were going to say she gave you an old copy of the Declaration of Independence.

No. I saw one today. It's my signature. See, it's right there. Right there. Right there under Caesar Rodney. Look. I don't believe what they say

about that Thomas Jefferson. He was a real prick. Folks, to call him the pride of Philly Would be Would be accurate Because this is a city that prides itself On cheese that comes in a jar

Give it up for Mr. Philadelphia himself Joe O'Brien I love every one of you. Wow, so that's where all your comps went. True, uh, oh, I heard that. True story, Joe's parents are in the audience tonight. Now, to clarify, these are not his birth parents, but the kind couple that decided to raise him after finding him in a dumpster outside of Geno's Stakes 40 years ago.

Which is nice, they raised him as his own. I love meeting all of your family, but when your dad walked up to me and said, Hi, I'm Joe O'Brien, I had a great moment. I was like, oh, yes! Joe O'Brien, how are you? We always say there's only one true Joe O'Brien,

and he lives in Pennsylvania. Joe, you're in your hometown. You're in front of a sold-out crowd. In front of people that probably used to beat you up for playing this game! How does it feel? Feels amazing. Thank you.

Please, you're too kind. No, it is. It's wonderful. And I hadn't thought about that much because it's so, you know, we're booking our shows. We're doing our tour. We're trying to get everything in line. And then just when we were backstage here and the Christmas music was playing out here and we could hear it, we put our sweaters on and we're having cocktails. Music was playing out here. We could hear it.

We put our sweaters on. And we're having cocktails. I was just like, I was remembering that like. You know, that I moved away to New York. And I lived there for 15 years. And then that whole time, every single year, at this time of year, I came home. And I loved being home with my family and everything. And I took the train down. And this is what the weather was like.

And we'd walk around downtown. And this is what the music was. And the fact that this show is here now, this time of year, it's amazing. It's absolutely amazing. I love being home. I love being home. My sisters are here as well. Give it up for my sisters.

home. My sisters are here as well. Give it up for my sisters! They're incredibly supportive and understanding of my incredibly nerdy habits. They're wonderful people. You're older, right? Yes, I'm the oldest. I have little sisters. Did you browbeat your nerdiness into their cultural experience? Oh yeah, man. We were kids.

I would force them to play spaceship. I was always the captain, obviously. I'd be like, you on the helm! You on the fire controls! They'd be like, what are we doing? Why? Why is this? I'd throw myself off the bed.

I'd be like, attack against the shield! I'd throw myself off the bed. There were two of them staring at me. What is wrong with them? Attack against the shield! I throw myself off the bed. There are two of them staring at me. What is wrong with them?

I made my sister play with me, too. It's totally clueless and no idea, but very game. There is nothing more wonderful for a man than to grow up with sisters. It is the best thing to... I mean, I grew up playing house. I grew up playing with dolls. It gives you... You understand a lot more than Neanderthals, like this one.

I was an only child for 12 years. What a shocker. You are also the only one on this stage who didn't grow up with a sister. That's true. What, do you think you're better than me, Captain Akaza? You're actually... He's the only up with his sister. That's true. What, do you think you're better than me, Captain Akaza? You're actually... He's the only one with a brother.

Is that right? Is that true? Yeah. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Wow. Wow. What's it like?

We're learning about each other. I never thought of this. It's... It's great. I think we just had a breakthrough. Wow. You almost made me cry. That was...

I almost cried. You did cry. It was embarrassing. You cried. That would have been a breakthrough for Troy. Yeah, well, I have an image to uphold. Everyone sees you as the guy that plays with dolls. Don't think you're ever going to live that one down.

Nothing wrong with that. Make sure you're a well-rounded person. Nothing wrong with that. Don't you have all of the Star Wars dolls in their original packaging? They're not dolls. live that one down. No, it's nothing wrong with that. Makes you a more well-rounded person. Don't you have, like, all of the Star Wars dolls in their original packaging? They're not dolls. They're action figures, Matthew. And you keep them in the package

so they don't ruin the value. Obviously. Now, listen up, all of you people. I know you're excited for the holidays, but we have rules that we enforce. We try to enforce. So I'm going to talk to you

like I talk to them, like, children, stop trying to ruin our show by shouting out. You're not funny. You'll never be funny. And the reason you do this is because your parents

never told you to shut up and they probably should have Jesus Christ It's a fact Well we can only Go up from here Shut up You would know

Not to See your parents Never told you to shut up That's why you do Something like that You Madam Secondly

Stop sending us shots It's not the shots I mind so much as the people walking up on stage and delivering the shots. It's funny the first time, and then it stops being funny for a long time, and then I will admit, it gets funny again.

But I don't have the time for the payoff of that joke. It's a long show. We got time. Keep your Jäger bombs and your mind erasers and your Jamesons to yourself.

We can get them after the show. Buy lots of shots. Just save them for us. They can send up a couple shots. They can send up a couple shots.

I was just funny. I said mind eraser and now I like really want a mind eraser. That's what made me say that. When's the last time you had a mind eraser? What's a mind eraser? We need some mind me say that. When's the last time you had a mind eraser? What's a mind eraser?

We need some mind erasers. Of course. We gotta get Capitacasa straight to Christmas Village. Seven people just ran to the bar. Don't send it up. But shut up. At least say shut up. Mind erasers are cool. But shut up. I will turn this show around so fast!

I'm a parent now I'm like reaching around to the crowd guys and girls and folks and women and men and everyone here did I cover everyone Matthew?

it's the holiday season shut up this is it so whoop-de-doo and hickory dock. The children are all nestled and snug in their bed and I won't stop

until the PCs are dead. Grant, let's take it to the recap. Come on! Merry Christmas, everybody! That was nice. Now imagine during this narrative I'm not wearing this hat.

Because this is serious. We started the year... Let me fix my pom-pom. This is serious. We started the year in an asylum. And we will end the year in an asylum.

If we end next year in an asylum, something's gone terribly wrong. Too many shots. We should have some serious talks about the business if we're still in book one in Philly next year Because we're coming back, obviously

You kidding? But over the course of the year Our heroes went from not knowing who they were Or where they were Or even knowing their real names To knowing they were brought to this place By a man named Count Hazerton Lowles IV A government official from Ustalav who brought all of you here as amnesiacs

And left you here in exchange for being allowed to have one-on-one time with a very peculiar patient named Ulver Zandalus Praise, praise Praise, praise Zandalus C Words fail Words fail They said Ulver Zandalus

by the way he went to knowing that this self-same Zandalus led a patient uprising recently and that along with some mysterious other circumstances has left this asylum as a battleground of insane crowbar wielding

patients known as the apostles in Orpiment, roving bands of undead, eerie extraplanar monsters, and countless dead bodies, some completely dismembered, others with their heads covered in bags. Thankfully, you met a band of survivors who want the same things you want to get the fuck out of here. That's straight out of the text. Last time in Boston.

Boo. Boo. See, that's Philly Joe. Yeah. that's Philly Joe. Yeah. That's Philly Joe. 41, 33! Last time you started exploring what was most likely the old admissions wing of the hospital. You came upon a room full of beds, and one bed was still occupied. By a patient strapped to said bed.

In the throes of a nightmare. The nightmare ended. And he died right in front of your eyes. Atticus Grimm. Played by Philly's own Joe O'Brien. Saw a yellow vapor. Escape from his mouth. At the moment of death.

And then he turned into a ghoul right before your very eyes. It was like something out of The Walking Dead, I said, the difference being people still enjoy our shows. And our shows are not completely unwatchable garbage where even the main actors have slowly left over time because they know that the show is shit. I just want you to understand the difference between

what happened there and that shitty, shitty show. You continue on. Find another one of these ghouls scraping away at a pile of rubble. The skin from its fingers completely rubbed off. It is just clawed away aimlessly at this collapse.

Like the ghoul before it, Halster Price, played by Grant Berger. Halster put it out of its misery. Then you explore four different patient rooms. Man, this is like 3D. Four. One contained a pile of human carnage and little else. NBD. The next belonged to the Leakland brothers,

one of which you met in the chapel crying over being separated from his brother during the uprising, the other of which, obviously, lost during the riot. You find a pair of carved wooden knights in a tangle of sheets in that room. The next contained a patient who was clearly set upon by the apostles in Orpiment. He perished, but not before killing his attackers by smashing their heads in with a real fancy boot. The next room had the ceiling completely caved in. Atticus found a ring in the rubble up towards the top of the ceiling with the sigil of a family he feels like he once knew. At the end of the hallway, a bunch of curtain frames blocked off a single candle on a stool behind a sheet.

Aldo Casimir, played by Dr. Skidmarn. Aldo bent down to inspect the flame. It was oddly unmoving and frozen in time. It then went out, and then two gross, blood-filled pimples attacked you. And now your parents are wondering what you do on a Friday night, Joe. You're fighting pimples? You used to have a good job. You're now far off.

The door from that room led to a small garden path outside that you deduced led back to the room with that haunted taxidermic birdcage. With the hallway cleared, you headed back north to that room that you saw a while ago that was supernaturally dark. In classic Matthew Capitacazza fashion, his character, Mrs. Old Lady. her, Mrs. O'Lady. She cast light in there and then bullied me into believing that would be enough to overcome the deeper darkness effect in the room. So I gave you

details about the room you shouldn't have had. And all four of you walked in. Matthew is a cheater. He's worse than Grant. And that's saying a lot. Let's not say anything we can't take back, Troy. It's the holidays. I just push, Troy.

I just push against the rules of the GM's world. Well, sometimes you push too far. Sometimes you don't stop me. I will not stand for this sexual tension. Stay away from Matthew. He's long weekends away from my wife.

The door then closed behind you, and Atticus felt a small hand, a Capitacasa-like hand. A little doll's hand. A little... That's a little doll. I can't see anything. What are you, Trump over there,

showing your hands off at? The door... That's a safe way to go, Grant. Take the temperature of the room. You felt a small little hand touch you, Atticus, in the darkness. You then failed a will save and heard a voice speak out to you in the darkness in your own voice saying, You are nothing. You are no one. Blackout.

We see a close up on Atticus's face. He's looking right at us. Imagine you're watching this. His expression is neutral. His mouth isn't moving, but we hear his voice. As if we're hearing his thoughts, he's replaying his father's words in his mind. The word is, Baron Hess, left before your final act.

Walked out in front of everyone. Atticus blinks, his eyes cast down for a moment, then up again, he breathes, mouth still unmoving. You are a joke to them. You can walk like a human, you can talk like a human, but you will never be human. Slowly our view of Atticus rotates around his head until we see him in profile. We pull back to a wider view and see that we are back in the furnace room.

And slowly we also see that there's another Atticus in the room. In profile, he's face to face with himself. The real Atticus continues speaking to his silent image. You are nothing. You are no one. Oh, how true that is. But what if you were someone? What if we were some human?

What would they think of us then? We flash to a table outside of a fine establishment. Atticus sits with three other nobles enjoying a meal. One of the men says, Really, old chap? You must show us one of your tricks. Atticus levitates a spoon from the table. The woman

with the holly and hawk signet ring looks bored and turns her attention to elsewhere in the room. Flash back to Atticus in the furnace room. Still in a conversation with himself, he speaks to the silent the room. Flashback to Atticus in the furnace room. Still, in a conversation with himself, he speaks to the silent image again. Oh, stop being delusional. I don't care about the new illusions.

Oh, some new tricks. Good for us. No, the book has only bought us some time. Time to... Time before they realize once again and get bored with the... The novelty of the illusionist rat. Now we're in a crowded performance hall. On stage, an older human illusionist appears to be talking to the audience

through her reflection in a large mirror on stage. The cloud claps with glee. We see in the crowd, tucked in amongst the high society of Ustalav, Atticus, sitting low in a seat, just watching. Then we go back to the two Atticuses. This is utter nonsense. Hughes and Willis are perfect hacks. Polly doesn't know how to work a crowd.

Even Zelda. Her illusions are pathetic. They're gimmicks. They're not. They don't make the people question their very reality. But yet all of them will be invited

to Baron Hess's before I. And why is that? Oh, I know. I don't need you to tell me. But there is no way for us to... Wait. What if... What if we...

Now if we're in another performance hall. Backstage, looking from the wings, Atticus is watching an older man on stage, standing before a sold-out crowd. A younger man, his assistant perhaps, appears to float two feet off the ground, and the crowd claps passionately. Throughout all of this, we still hear Atticus's voice talking to his illusory self. What if we burnt this filthy old form to ashes and started fresh?

What? What? What did you say? Oh, that is a good idea. You devious bastard. But who? Not Hughes. No.

Not Willis. Don't be ridiculous. It could be Mary. No. Not for those damnable children. We need someone vibrant. Someone who suits who I deserve to be. We now see that same older magician's young assistant in a suit surrounded by admirers as he signs autographs in the lobby of the performance hall after the show. It would have to be the perfect person, though.

Not too conspicuous, but also well-liked. Respected. Talented, obviously. But not too talented. Now we're back in the actual performance hall. The dashing young assistant is now starring in his own show. He's holding his hands above a pot filled with plain, ordinary soil. A hush falls over the crowd, waiting with bated breath to see how the trick will unfold.

And yet again, we see Atticus nestled in among them, watching. Then we hear his voice, still talking to his silent image self. Yes. Of course. The young magician draws a plant

out of the soil that seems to grow at an impossible speed right before our eyes. Cheers erupt all around Atticus as the master of ceremonies of the soil that seems to grow at an impossible speed right before our eyes. Cheers erupt all around Atticus as the master of ceremonies of the theater steps out onto stage, and the plant just continues growing all the way to the rafters.

The crowd is going crazy. They rise to their feet, but Atticus remains seated the entire time as the emcee shouts above the roaring crowd, Ladies and gentlemen, I give you James Netherford. Blackout.

Now we're back in this dark ass room. That was great. Thank you, Grant. Can I also say, it reminds me of something Mrs. O'Lady said early on before we knew who we were, who we're supposed to be. You said if we don't know if we were good or evil, that we should at least operate under the presumption that we were good. I'm thinking about that now after the last couple of little reveals.

Very well done, Matthew, as well. I love you. Thanks, Grant. Wow. Thanks, Rumi. Holiday is really bringing us all together. You guys are in darkness, despite what Matthew Capitacazza would have me tell you.

You can't see a thing! Let's go to the map, Grant. This is going to be terrible. Terrible! Where are we? You would be right... Right? Do it again. See what? Right? See what? Ready? Hey, guys. Hey. Oh! right meow right do it again see what right

meow see what ready hey guys hey oh there he is now he's gone

you feel a little doll hand touch you and a voice cry out in your voice you are nothing

you are no one roll for initiative. Oh my god. Alright! Roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, What do you got there, Skid? 13 for Aldo Kazimir. 13 for Aldo. Okay. What about you, Halster Price?

Lucky number seven. Lucky seven for Halster. Okay. I almost added seven Halsters to my initiative tracker. That would have been a real pain. Atticus. 15. 15.

All right. Good start. The old Philly 15. Matthew. 18. Ooh. Never one to be outdone. Matthew Capitacazza.

Okay. A couple of things are going to happen here. That's the thing he says on the show. Such a dick. While you're all standing there, in the darkness, door closed behind you, you can't see shit,

you hear a faint sobbing. It's always sobbing. At first, it sounds like one small voice, but if you listen closely, which you probably would as your senses start to perk up in the darkness, your sense of hearing, you're really tuning in. If you listen closely,

it's not just one voice, it's actually several different voices overlapping each other, all weeping at the same time. It has this awful sound that just echoes in each of your minds and then starts to slam on your eardrums.

Everybody roll a will save. Oh jeez. Jeez Louise. What'd you get there, Skid? Uh, a two. Is that sufficient? Let me just check my thing Uh, no

Oh, man Oh, dear Really hoping it was a DC two will save I have a minus one will right now For some reason I don't know why It might be from the filth fever Maybe

Well, that's Dex and Con Yeah, Dex and Con Yeah, I don't know You're It might be from the filth fever. Maybe. Dex and Khan. Yeah, Dex and Khan. Yeah, I don't know. You're very sick. I'm very sick. What about you, Grant? 18. In classic Grant fashion, he's fine.

All his characters are fine. Philly Joe. 15. 15. Common theme here. It's a tweener. 15. Okay, Matthew?ener. 15. Okay.

Matthew? 23. 23. There you go, old lady. Okay. I have dex damage. Is that from the filth fever? Filth fever.

Yes. You're sick with filth fever. All right. I'm glad I had you roll those will saves because this effect doesn't require a save. What the? Can't wait till we get the emails about this one. You take a minus one penalty

on attack rolls, damage rolls, and will saves automatically from this effect. Oh my God. Which was a free action to enact. Then all of a sudden,

let's see who gets hit. I mean, we got to go after Philly Joe, right? You just feel a tiny Capitacasa-like bite. That is going to be a 12 to hit you. Now, before you tell me whether or not that's a hit. I got you! to hit you now before you tell me whether or not that's a hit. Such is the power

of Joe's focus that I can get that close. What did I miss? Due to the supernatural darkness in here, you are all effectively blind. That is a 50% missed chance if you're going after whatever is in this room or whatever things are in this room.

You lose your dex bonus to your AC, minus two penalty to your AC, and a minus four penalty on perception checks that rely on sight here in the darkness. Is that a hit with all those minuses? I'm sorry. Twelve. I know it's a lot. What other minuses? Minus two to AC, and you lose your dex bonus. Awesome. You're going to take a little bit of damage, and you lose your bonus. Awesome.

You're going to take a little bit of damage, not much, one point of damage. Yes, even worse, right? Because now here comes the real awful. Now I need you to roll the will save. Unless you want to carry over that 15. I'm so scared. Wait, did you say I took a penalty to will saves because of this effect? Yes.

Minus one. Yes. Okay. Weus one. Yes. Okay. We got this. Nope. We got this. Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe. It's the Eagles against the Dolphins all over again.

That is a six. Joe. Ready for the pass. That is a six. As this thing bites you, you only take one point of damage, but you just feel like you lose your breath for a moment. I don't know if you're just overcome by the fact that you just heard a voice cry out to you in the darkness or something from this bite has affected you corporeally

but you are now fatigued for one hour. Oh. Oh, jeez. Okay. Moving right along, it is Mrs. O'Lady's turn. Mrs. O'Lady, you are effectively blind. All your friends are dying. What do you want to do? Question for you. Yes. So, the reason that the light didn't work,

we talked about this, and let me just make sure I got it right. Okay. Because the deeper darkness is a much more powerful spell and thus can't be counteracted by a spell of lower level. A light spell of lower level.

Correct. What if... Here we go. Ooh. I love when Matthew says, what if... Hypothetically speaking, let's say I had an item What if? Here we go. I love when Matthew says, what if? Hypothetically speaking, let's say I had an item that was caster level 11th.

What? Where did you get that? You gave it to me. I would never do such a thing. And what if that item emitted light as a part of its effect? Would that counteract the deeper darkness? What is this item that you put on your character sheet for free? It is the Candle of Spirit Protection, Troy.

Oh! Stop! That's gotta do it. You've been foiled! Its actual power may not help us here, but the light might. Does it say it sheds light? Yes.

In a radius? What radius? When it's lit, fine lines of smoke coil out, creating a circular line of smoke in a ten-foot radius around the candle. That's all it says. I mean, it says other things, but nothing about the light. It says nothing about the light? It's a candle.

I don't know, man. Not all candles shed light. That's so true. So true. Yeah. You know the fun ones you put in the windows during the holiday season? Yeah. The ones that don't light up at all, yeah. Nope.

Just the ones that are dark. The ones that are dark. They call them dark candles. Dark candles, yeah. Very popular in the holiday season. See all the windows. No, I don't like it. I don't like it.

Does that mean you're not going to allow it? Yes. Oh, okay. All right. Write in emails immediately following the show. Based on the sound, can I do a knowledge check to see perhaps what this is? Based on the effect I'm feeling, all this information. Yeah, roll a knowledge check.

Or I could do a perception to a fuel knowledge check, whatever you want me to do. No, do a knowledge check. You could do some sort of arcana, or I don't know if you have any occult knowledge, but yeah. I'm going to do arcana, and I'm going to throw inspiration on it. Okay. That's a 26.

All right, so that sobbing you're hearing is some sort of aura that is affecting the entire room. And that is just like, there's a good chance that something is controlling that aura. And until that's suppressed, you're going to take that penalty on attack, damage, and will set. Okay. I would now like to cast Det, damage, and will set. Okay. I would now like to cast Detect Psychic Significance. Okay. I probably heard the sobbing. I also heard it's like fight Atticus, right?

Or Atticus cry out or something. Right, Atticus cry out in pain. So if I could Detect Psychic Significance to see if there was anything, perhaps a creature with a psychic significance in that area to try to zero in for my friends. Okay. Always something with this guy. We're in a room full of darkness. So you detect psychic significance to try and pinpoint

the area where this psychic significance is happening. And you feel like it's... The source of the aura, perhaps? You feel like it's... The source of the aura, perhaps? You feel like it's... You're standing right behind Atticus, and you feel like it's coming from beyond Atticus in a straight line,

possibly right on the other side of Atticus, unless it has some sort of reach. Okay. I share this information with my friends, and then I'm going to telekinect projectile something onto that square blindly. All right. 50% mischance, right?

Yeah, let's do a 50% mischance. Let's see what happens. What could go wrong? I mean, it's going to miss. Ten. Ten in the darkness. Yeah, that misses. Real thrilling turn, Matthew Matthew I'm trying to

I'm trying to learn things Joe you're up what do you got Oh man Can I do a knowledge check To identify if this is a haunt Yeah Yeah do a knowledge religion We've seen a lot of stuff like this before

Perhaps this is The fact of the undead. Ooh, 24. Ooh, nice. Dude, it's a big knowledge check crowd. I love knowledge checks in Philly. Yeah, Philly's a big knowledge check town.

That's always been true. It's always been true. That's always been true. Smart. Smart city, dude. Smart city, dude. You've had to deal with a couple haunts since you came in here. There are elements of this that feel similar to a haunt, but you know that there is a physical source in the room that is physically touching you. Okay. It doesn't feel like what you've dealt with with haunts.

Okay. It's not, it doesn't feel like what you've dealt with with Hans. Okay. In that case, then, I'm going to, you know, I'm not going to overthink this. I think he's panicking. He's freaking out. He's got a loaded crossbow in his hands. I think he's just going to point down right in front of him and fire it. Mr. Lady told him it's coming from right in front of him. He feels this grabbing thing.

He knows that there seems to be some sort of physical source. He's just going to fire into the dark. Let's see what happens. Let's see what happens. Let's see what happens. This is, man, what a long shot. Come on, Atticus. 17 to hit. Roll a 15% miss chance.

Come on, man. Come on, dude. Seven. So sorry. Shoot. Ald sorry. Shoot! Aldo! Hold on, I'm going to move. You want to move?

I'm going to try to move away from it. Okay. Away from this feeling, this gripping. All right, where do you want to move? You tell me and I'll move you because you can't see where you are. I'm just going to shove Mrs. O'Lady to the ground. Out of my way, old woman! And just dash past her.

So you want to move back. Just behind Mrs. O'Lady. You feel that Mrs. O'Lady is there behind her. Well, where I remember the door being. If the door is there and it's closed. She starts scraping frantically at the door. All right, so you take a diagonal step back, and you need Mrs. O'Lady to move out of the way to access the door,

and Halster is blocking the other door. In the meantime, it is Aldo's turn. Aldo is going, can I do a perception check to try to get a bead on the area of the sound that this thing is making? Sure. Uh, that is a 15.

15. You get a sense of the general direction in front of you. Okay. So, Aldo is going to pop a bomb off of his bandolier. Yeah! Spinning it, shake it up, and toss it right at where it thinks the thing is. Tosses the bomb into the darkness. That is a 14 against touch AC.

Okay. And we'll do a little against touch AC. Okay. And we'll do a little concealment cheek. 58. All right. All right. It's on target. Roll damage. Come on, dude.

All right. Whoa. 11 points of fire damage. Whoa. All right. That's good, dude. First blood has been damage. Whoa. All right. That's good, dude. First blood has been drawn. Do you want to try and move at all?

No, because I don't know where I am. Fair enough. Halster Price. Halster is almost overwhelmed by this paranormal energy in this room and this weeping. And he speaks out and he says, Oh, poor and woeful spirits of Briarstone Asylum, I am an emissary of Farazman. I will make sure

that your souls reach their destination where they are meant to be. Until then, Debus, if you're out there, we've found your toys and we will return them to Breton. You will have rest on this plane. But on this day, the Lady

of Graves will not allow any of my companions to go to the afterlife. And he casts Bless to counteract the psychic energy. That's one bonus to my buddies. I love it. A little bit of Bless.

In classic Grant Burger fashion, we'll use Fervor as a swift action to quick heal himself. It's fair. He hasn't taken any damage yet. Just to be sure. I'm hurt from the last episode. I have a slight headache. Step away.

And I'll do, well, he did a really good religion check, so I'll stay where I am. All right. In that moment, you hear a voice in the darkness through the sobs. It's like, Brenton, wake up, Brenton. Oh, no. Brenton, the lamp went out. Oh, come on, dude. Oh, no. Brenton, the lamp went out. Oh, come on, dude.

Oh, no. And if you try to, like, say something or react, you go to speak, Atticus, and nothing comes out of your mouth. You have lost the ability to speak. And at that moment, Mrs. O'Lady feels a little Capitacazza hand reach out to touch you.

Against Touch AC, Matthew, that is going to be a 14. Yeah. 14. Hit? Yes. Touches you. You, too, lose the ability to speak, and you just hear, Wake up, Brenton.

Brenton, the lamp went out. Brenton, the lamp went out. Brenton, Brent, my grandson. Is the light going out, grandson? You hear your own voice

speak back to you. Was that your me? Speak back to you. That's my you. Wait, you were being Matthew, being Mrs. O'L you were being Matthew, being Mrs. O'Lady. Being Matthew, being Mrs. O'Lady. Okay. All right, I think my dad's following along. Right. I'm sure he'll have no questions at the end of the show.

I was trying to imagine having no context, not just of this story, but of role-playing games in general, and trying desperately to follow along with whatever is happening up here. Mrs. O'Lady and Atticus can't speak. They've heard their own voices come back to them in the darkness and it is Mrs. O'Lady's turn. If you want to cast a spell, it's going to be a 50%

fail chance because you can't speak. Unfortunately for you, Troy, all my spells are psychic and don't require verbal components. That's true. That is true. That is true. Baboom! You win this round, Captain

Kaza. I think Atticus had the right idea, so I'm going to turn and open the door that's right behind me. Okay. You turn and open the door, and you see the hallway right outside. Which is light, I'm assuming, right? Right. Perfect light, and it just ends where you are.

It's like a thick wall of blackness right up to the door jamb, and then light beyond. Okay, and then I will step out of the room. You will step out of the room. Roll a perception check. Ten. Ten. You're not alone out there. What?

You step out of the room and you see something hanging out near the corpse of Mrs. Freeling. Bathing in her blood. It's an old friend. It's Tiny Murder Clown.

Eric Mona, everybody. Woo! I made him really big so I wouldn't forget him. There he is. Yeah! And I made him really big so I wouldn't forget him. There he is. Yeah! And I made him Christmas themed. Miss O'Lady, you see tiny murder clowns standing there bathing in the blood.

I say... What's that? Speak up! I just start miming. You start with... One word. And that probably takes about six seconds. Right, that's right.

Six seconds. Six seconds of Pictionary. Atticus, you're up. Door's open. You know that's not Pictionary. I know it's not Pictionary. Captain Akasa's rubbing off on you. That's how we did it.

That's the advanced... LaVallee Christmas. That's the advanced level of Pictionary. Look at blank pages and just make signs at them. You're up, buddy. They're breaking the rules, Troy. They always do. It's your turn, you idiot.

It's my turn? Oh. All right. It's your turn, you idiot. It's my turn? Oh. All right. Did I hear some sort of wailing, some sort of recognition that something exploded and did it cause pain? You heard an explosion. You didn't hear pain and you couldn't cry out.

But you do see light beyond where Mrs. O'Lady opened the door and you heard a voice. Hee hee! Aren't you a sight for sore eyes? Hee hee hee! Three words.

Is it a person, place, or thing? Fishing. Book. I'm just trying to buy time for Joe. book? I'm just trying to buy time for Joe. I mean, I can't do anything because I can't talk to my allies. I have this idea, and I can't talk,

and I can't do it. Is it a hard game? I have no mouth, and I must scream. It's a really hard game. Thanks a lot, Eric. He's panicking. He's going to reload and fire into the darkness. Okay. Twelve. Twelve. Okay. Twelve. Twelve. Okay.

Just flies off. And you're lucky it may have very well hit Aldo or Halster in there. Do you want to move at all? No, I reloaded. Oh, you reloaded. Alright, so you stay in the darkness. Does Aldo remain in the room?

Aldo hears the voice coming from outside. It's like, oh, I think it's Tony Murderclown! And he runs outside and looks wildly around for him. He sees him, and he tries to double-time it over to him and throws his arm around. He says, ah, Tony how to climb a misty saloon march! Oh, I've missed being loved!

This is cuddling! You know what cuddling is? Yes! It's what I do for it's best! For it's best! Yes! And he picks him up and he hugs him and he spins him around in a circle laughing. Oh, this is great! Hee hee hee!

You know you left me in there, right? In the pitch black. Oh no, we're taunting murder clowns outside! Yeah, what a joyous reunion! It is an excitement. He shuts the door behind him. I shut it and shove a chair against it to like block him in there. He was just so whipped into an excited fury.

I was just so excited. I was just so excited. Put the chair under there. We're playing charades. Join in. Join in. Halster Price, what do you want to do? Aldo ran out.

Miss Old Lady ran out. I mean, you would have seen their bodies pass the threshold. Halster's terrified, and he feels kind of an itch at the back of his neck, and he reaches, and he traces his finger along the spiral in the back of his neck. And he uses another instance of fervor to heal himself because he's going in directly to attack this thing. Wow. Yeah, dude. Get it.

Get it. Oh, beautiful. Beautiful healing. GCP on the D6. Okay, so he is going to try to get as close as he can and take a swing. May I do that, Troy? Let's see what you got, buddy. Okay. That is a total of

a 15 to hit. That is a miss. In the darkness. Alone with Joe. It is my turn. I'm not complaining. Neither am I. This tall drink of water.

Oh, those fish town nights. Oh, no. In the darkness, the sobs continue, making you feel just a little bit weaker. Atticus has no voice. Mrs. O'Lady has no voice, and Atticus is fatigued on top of it. At that point, Halster feels a little claw come out to him. Excuse me, teeth bite him,

or attempt to bite him. 24 to bite, good buddy. That's a hit. That is going to be two points of damage, but I need you to roll a will save. Okay. 16. That is going to be two points of damage, but I need you to roll a will save. Okay. 16.

Chorus DC 16. You are not fatigued for one hour. Moving right along, it's Mrs. O'Lady's turn. Mrs. O'Lady, they're hanging out in that room. You don't know why. You have no idea what's happening in there, and you don't feel like they're doing a lot of damage. A lot of help. Did we, in the brother's room, we

discovered some objects, right? Yeah, a pair of carved wooden knights. Did we take them with us? You did. Who has them? You do. Indeed I do, Jor-El. I don't know. Do I? Um, yes. Sure.

Yeah, you would. Sure. Of course you would have the carved Who else would have them? Who else would take them? I will draw them And then thrust them into the room Draw them To show them

Like offering them out Offering them out into the dark You just stick your hand into the darkness Your hand, you can't even see it Foot in front of your face Of course I can't accompany this a foot in front of your face. Of course, I can't accompany this with any kind of verbal components. Right, you just stick it out there, and you just hear...

Brenton, the lamp went out. Brenton, the lamp went out. That's it. Okay, and that's all I'm going to do? That's it. Okay. That's all I'm going to do. That's all you can do. Draw, thrust. Atticus, wow us with something cool.

Really give us that old Joe O'Brien creativity. Really make the hometown crowd amazed by your level of creativity. Oh, my God. You creativity. Oh, God. I'm sorry. I'll delay. Oh, man. I'm assuming when he casts or throws a bomb, I don't see anything, right?

You hear an explosion. You don't see anything because of the magical darkness. Oh, God. I'm going to load and fire again. I'm invigorated by the bless. I have it. I'm going to shoot. Come on, man.

Nope. Even worse than before. Enjoy that. Even worse than before. I just did my mind eraser. Oh, my God. So, Matthew. Go.

This is how you do a mind eraser. You sip it from the straw, and you drink it all in one gulp. I'm not going to do that, Joe. It is Aldo's turn. It is not during the show. Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it. Come on, Philly Matthews. Mrs. O'Lady is immune to peer pressure. Aldo, you're hugging Tiny Murder Clown.

You know his actual name. You think that he doesn't even know his name. Oh, this is the best. I've missed you guys. Sorry for abandoning you at such a delicate moment. Oh, I missed you. Again. I miss you so much.

Me too. Come on, hurry. They need our help. Yeah. Mrs. O'Lady and Atticus need our help. And he drops him down and runs. He double moves back into the room. Double moves back into the darkness.

Love it. Right past Mrs. O'Lady's outstretched arm. And what do you do? That's it. Okay. That's right. You double move. arm. And what do you do? That's it. Okay. That's right, you double move. Halster, what do you want to do? Halster has no other choice but to stand and fight this poor lost soul.

It's to send him or her on their way to Ferasmus' embrace. Natural 20. Yes! Natural 20 Yes Critical crack Critical crack Critical Critical

Roll A 50% missed chance Dude 85 Oh That was close Wow That was close

That was very close Close to that 86 That is a critical hit. Yeah. Come on, confirm it. Let's do it. I got to confirm. I know you had a mind eraser.

I know. I got a lot going on here. I could really be breaking some rules right now. Not a confirm. Oh, no. So exploding dice. All right. I'll give you exploding dice.

Come on, explode them. Here we go. Explode them. That's a total of nine points of damage. Okay, so you're hitting something. You know you're hitting something, but that sobbing is just continual. You don't hear, like, a reaction to the hit, but you know that you just, like, hit something. Hit something physical.

Hit something physical that's, like, low to the ground. Oh, boy. Yeah. All right. I'm done. New round. The sobbing continues. All of you are still affected by this aura of sobs.

And in the darkness, something goes out to just hug Atticus. Oh, no. Oh, no. It would be nearly impossible for you to miss. I missed. Natural two. What's the total? Four.

Oh, yeah. My AC is currently nine. Something reaches out to just grab you and nothing. Sweet. It is Mrs. O'Lady's turn. All right. The objects didn't work. O'Lady's turn. Alright. The objects didn't work. What are the words it's saying to me?

Wake up, Brenton. Wake up. The lamp went out. The lamp went out. Alright. Operating under the assumption that perhaps in the darkness there is some lamp, I'm going to move back into the room and begin to kind of feel my way around. I'll go to the left and feel my way around the wall

to see if I ever hit anything resembling a lamp. You hit Aldo, Atticus. And then? And then a wall. And you don't feel a lamp. But you do feel that you reach the end of the width of this room. You move into the room, you move about 15 feet to the left, and you hit a wall.

Can I keep going and double move the full complement of my movement around the room? Yes, you can. How many spaces can you move? I mean, I have 30 foot movement speed, so. Alright, so this is interesting. But you're blind in the dark, so it's half speed, right? Unless you make

an acrobatics check. Shut up, Joe. Am I wrong? And eventually, I don't care. You... You, uh... No, to move full speed, you need an acrobatics check. You feel a door.

When you're blind. A door. Another door. You feel a set of double doors. Ooh. Open it. Fuck it. Let's go.

I would like to, but I'm out of... I believe I'm out of actions. You are out of actions, but Mrs. O'Lady has found a door on the opposite side of the room, and it is Atticus's turn. I run to the door that I don't know about, that she didn't tell me about. I can't tell you because I can't speak. Damn it. I am going to do the same thing, though, because I had the same idea.

Straight up. Just sort of start walking around the room toward my right. Okay. So you walk the opposite way. Yeah, I wanted to try to get people to cast light or turn. I know light didn't work, but, like, maybe some sort of torch would suffice for, like, turn the light on. Interestingly enough, you walk to the right. You walk past Halster, who's also stepped into the room.

And along, you get to a wall almost immediately, and you feel a door leading out to the east. Okay. And if I, actually, I'm going to do that as a double move, I'm assuming, because my speed is 10 feet. So you can either continue moving along the wall or open that door. Okay, I'll open the door. Okay, you open the door, And this I can show you. Shugga-gugga-gum. Little room.

Oh, wait, I moved out, though. But that's you. Oh! Okay, so we're in a really tight little room. And is this room lit? Oh, right, because you showed it to us. Dude, it's totally lit. No, but you have dark vision, and you can see what this room looks like.

Okay. That's what it looks like, and so that's your turn. It is now Aldo's turn. All right, Aldo is going to throw another bomb. Okay. Taking off his belt. Throw it. Hit it, Aldo.

No. That is a 10 against Touch AC. 10 against Touch AC. 10 against Touch AC. Might be a hit. Roll a 50% mischance. Oh, come on, dude. Come on. 51.

By the skin of your teeth. Yeah, that'll hit. Yeah, dude. Oh, phenomenal. That is 13 points and 40 each. You dropped a bomb on me. So in the darkness, Atticus is just chucking bombs. So safe.

Hoping for the best. And luckily, where he's throwing them, no one else has been within range of the splash damage, which you would know if you could see the room like I do. Do you want to move at all? No, I feel quite rooted where I am. Halster, you see, you're in the room as well, about ten feet in front of you,

Atticus has opened up a door that leads to the east. You can see the light not streaming in, but you can see a wall, a door jam full of light to your ten feet in front of you. What do you want to do? Grant Berger. I'm going to swing again. Until everyone else leaves, I'm going to swing. Okay. Let's see if we can...

I have a feeling we might not be doing anything to this. Maybe, but I felt like my sword hit something. I feel like Red Destiny made contact. So until everyone else leaves, I'm going to swing. 17 on the die. Yeah, baby. Obviously. Roll your 50% mischance.

Here it comes. 92. Oh, yeah. 92. Oh, yeah. Classic. All right. How much damage? All right.

It is 10 points of damage. Nice. Okay. Okay. Okay. Swinging out in the dark wildly, throwing bombs. What could go wrong? The next round, and oddly, nothing happens.

The sobbing continues, though. But nothing happens. None of you continues, though. But nothing happens. None of you get touched. None of you get hugged. None of you get bit. Time moves forward. It's Mrs. O'Lady's turn. I'll open the doors.

Mrs. O'Lady opens the doors. Show of hands. How many people have played Strange Aeons? Good. Good amount of people there. Yeah, good amount. Let's open these doors up. And me, they regret my decision.

I would like to direct you to the map. What the? Oh! Oh my god! Oh my god! This gigantic space might have once been a cafeteria, but perhaps an assembly hall. Now,

it's the village of a savage tribe. Wildly burning braziers stand amid yellow tents and scrap structures, mostly constructed of broken furniture, scavenged sheets, and torn mattresses. Portions of the western, and you can see a little bit deeper into the room, maybe the northern wall looks like they've completely collapsed, but ramshackle barricades have risen to surround them.

To the east, two sets of wide stairs climb perhaps to the floor above. Around the stairs, nearly a dozen bodies hang crucified upon the walls. Oh, my God! Dried crimson streaks below them, sacks cinched around their heads. Jesus!

It's just crucified bagheads, guys. Relax. Jesus! I'm sure everything's fine. Tendrils of yellow mist creep throughout the entire space, wisps endlessly lapping and fondling the bizarre encampment. There's a strange dampness in the air that you feel, Mrs. Old Lady,

from the fog seeping in, and while the fog isn't nearly as bad as what you experienced in the courtyard or when you went outside and fought that gross, tumorous pile, it still limits your vision to about 40 feet into the room. When you open the door, a small crowd begins to form. Just looking at you,

emerging from the makeshift tents Crazy eyes looking Appearing out of the mist in the back of the room 30 of them or so And they're all brandishing mismatched and improvised weapons Many of them dressed in the same yellow stained robes Synonymous with the apostlesles' Adornment. And they keep their distance.

What do you do? Opening a door is a standard action, right? No. It's a move action? It's a move action. You've got one more. I will close the door. Yeah! It's a Christmas miracle! Move action. You got one more. I will close the door.

Yeah! It's a Christmas miracle. Sorry. As I'm closing the door... As I'm closing the door, I do the universally acknowledged sorry, my fault. I see you're all quite busy. I'll just excuse myself. Sorry, sorry.

There's something else. Atticus, you see across the room from you. Obviously, you're standing looking into another room. I'm going to tell you what you see in that room, actually. But from behind you, where Mrs. O'Lady was, you now see Mrs. O'Lady's silhouette lit up by the light streaming in from this other room. But for you... Actually, light doesn't penetrate this darkness. You know what, Grant? Nobody cares.

You made a whole big deal about it at the beginning of the show. Just wanted to make... I wanted to make clear that no one saw Mrs. O'Lady. They just thought doors open. No one. No one helps me. Joe, in your room, you see a couch and small desks covered in paint flakes and thick dust filling what looks like a communal office. You saw an office earlier in this thing that looked like it had two desks where two people worked. This has the same kind of feel.

That's all you see. It looks like there might have been some work happening in here. But it's just desks. And there's a door leading out that you would know goes back into that room where you fought

those apostles in Orphanage. Where I nearly died. Almost died. Atticus is going to run into the room, go behind this desk, slam his back up against it, like diehard style. And reload his crossbow.

Okay. Aldo Casimir. Can I ask a question? Yeah. When does Tiny Murder Clown get there? Yeah, for real. Were you not putting him in the initiative order? He goes after Aldo. I forgot about it. Oh, man. He goes right now! I can barely remember me either.

Twice in a row. Sorry. You should have said something earlier. So just to recap, I'm dressed in my yellow and red Jester's outfit. I have my flame-colored hair. My arms are covered with crusted blood. And I've just been rummaging around in the corpse of a rat creature, right? No, here you've been rummaging around in the corpse of a rat creature, right? No, here you've been rummaging around

in the corpse of an old woman in a wheelchair. Sounds right. Okay, so, and I can see in this room, it's dark. So, yeah, the room that you're standing in is darkness. Do you have dark vision? No.

Okay, so yeah, you can't quite see, but you did feel Aldo come up to you and you see, we'll say it's dim light in here. You can tell that everyone else is on the other side of the room. Aldo came and hugged you and then ran away. Right, but the room he ran into is dark. It's total darkness. Okay. I'm like,

I've got a trick for this! And I cast dancing lights, and I start juggling. I have actually no idea if this really will work, but we'll see. So he's like, and he just walks into the room. Just walks into the room. Into the dark room, yeah, juggling his Dancing Lights. All right, so we'll say that you make it up to the door. Sure.

Because I stole a turn from you. So we'll get you up to there. You walk in with the Dancing Lights, and the Dancing Lights disappear. Oh, shit. And now you're in darkness as well. Oh, no. the dancing lights and the dancing lights disappear. Oh, shit. And now you're in darkness as well.

Oh, no. So, previous round you walked up there. This round, cast dancing lights and walked in. The lights go out. Aldo. Aldo is... Can he see what's going on on the other side of this door that Mrs. O'Lady just opened? So you...

When she opened the door, you looked... You were probably able to look in. When I saw, yeah. And you saw, obviously you didn't see the full scope of what Mrs. O'Lady saw, but you did see people in there. Okay. He is, man. I'm going to go ahead and throw

another bomb. Okay. Oh, man. That is, it's pretty dark in here. That is an 80-13, so that should be a 17 to hit. Roll a 50% mischance. All right. 82!

Oh, man! 82! The bomb hit. Unlike every bomb you've seen Aldo throw since you met him, it doesn't light up. You just hear the sounds of it. And all of a sudden, the room lights up. Yeah! And as it does...

Oh, I thought it would never happen. As it does, you see the small skeleton of what looks like a child crumble to the ground from the blast of this bomb. And all over the child was like

drawings with crayons covering its body. And it just crumbles into a pile of bones. Can we speak again? With the pile of bones? No, just... Can we physically talk? Can we physically talk?

Yeah. No. One hour. You can't talk. Can't talk for an hour In real time It's 9.44 Yeah no You can't talk for an hour

Mrs. O'Lady will bang It's already 9.44 Oh dear Mrs. O'Lady will bang Her sword cane on On the wall To get everyone's attention And then point

Towards the door And be like... Let the record show, she's saying, don't go in there. You're out of combat now. Atticus will come back in the room. Hi, everybody. Look, everyone! It's Tony Moodle! It's been a long time, you guys. Look, everyone. It's Tony Murticlain.

He's back. It's been a long time, you guys. Hey, if... I'm going to take a step closer to the pile of child bones. Okay. I mean, like, nobody cares if I have dibs on the soul, right? And I just start rooting around in the bones of my hands. Rooting around, moving the little drawings.

And I close my eyes and just pretend like I'm doing something. Okay. Because I can't actually absorb souls for two more levels. Just rooting around. Oh, yo, this feels good. This creature, I sense great pain. Woo. Go.

So that's what Tiny Murder Clown does. Mrs. O'Lady waves her arms and suggests we get out in case they're coming. As you do that, you hear a knock at the door that you open. Oh, wow. Well, at least they're knocking.

That's pretty polite. Very polite. What do you do? Open the door. This is the only polite thing to do. He's right. I open the door. You open the door.

Step away first. Because we don't know for sure who it is. They could be good. It could be anyone. They knocked. They could just be curious as to what's happening with this child. Wouldn't you be? I would be.

Who can fault them? Open the door. You open the door and you see that these people in the yellow robes have formed a little circle around the door. Oh my God. They're even more terrifying because they're all the same pod. Yeah, yeah. And where's the one that knocked? Did they just teleport? There's no one in front of the door.

He's hanging on the wall with a bag on his head. They're just standing there. They've got like a bedpost with nails on it, crowbars, whatever they could scavenge. And they're just looking at you, Mrs. Old Lady, right? Mrs. Old Lady

looks back in hopes of finding someone who can speak, and she goes... And they just... They look at you kind of strangely. Go ahead and roll a perception check. Uh, 22.

Okay, so you stand there, and while all of these strangers wear a bit of yellow, some of them have the robes that you've seen all the apostles wear, others just have, like, little yellow markings on their clothing. They don't look like the battle-hardened brutes or glassy-eyed cultists that you've dealt with thus far. Oh, good. And as you stand there... That's good. A man sort

of splits the crowd in the back, and he's wearing the coat of a Briarstone doctor. You know it's a coat of the Briarstone doctor because you found some coats in another room very early on in the adventure. And he's coming and he says,

Stand down, stand down, everyone. Ah, yes. More come to gaze beyond and to serve the opament. Welcome, friend. Oh, perhaps friends. Oh. Mrs. O'Lady gives a very childlike thumbs up Atticus just like

puts his crossbow away it's just like like the wrong welcoming committee two people who can't speak, it's great Houser like climbs like grabs the edge of the doorframe and peeks his eyes over and says, We've yet to make any friends yet besides Crossbow Jackson. What might your name be? I'm Halster.

And he hides back behind it. And the crowd starts to back up a little bit as he pushes through and gets close to you, and he's smiling, big, giant smile, wide eyes, and he's looking at the other ones like, we have more that have come, and he gets up to you, and as soon as he's close enough to you, Halster, he desperately whispers under his breath, nod and follow me if you want to live.

Oh, man! That's awesome. Nod and follow me if you want to live. Oh. Badass. That's awesome. Nod and follow me if you want to live. Halster nods immediately. Like way too hard so everyone can see it. Ah, yes, wonderful. More to follow the Orpament. Come, my new friends, and close the door behind you.

We never know what else lurks beyond right this way. Atticus will close the door. And he pushes you deeper into the room. This is awesome. Oh, my God. As he pulls you deeper into the room, you just see all these cultists. Some of them are glassy-eyed, like what you're used to. Some of them just look afraid,

to be honest. As you're walking past, you see various doors leading out of the room. You see staircases to the east. I think I told that to Mrs. Old Lady. Good God. It's a giant room. And any place you are in the room, you can't see beyond 40

feet because the mist is creeping in. You see there are barricades to the left. That mist, yellow mist, is just seeping in and filling the room. As you get deeper in, you see to the north as well, the walls are crumbled and they've got like wood slats up trying to block the outside from getting in. But still, these tendrils of yellow vapors seep in. You get to the back of the room, and he takes you into this tent here to the north, the northmost tent. And you all walk inside.

Tiny murder clown, Mrs. O'Lady, Atticus Grimm, Halster Price, and Aldo Casimir. Who are you? Grimm, Halster Price, and Aldo Casimir. Who are you? You just said who we all are. A narrator was... I don't have the same access to the narrator that you do.

Oh, I see. We are like those around you. We are the chosen few who have survived the disaster that has befallen this place, and we are all fit to fight. My friend, this is not the time to make light of the situation. I know that is not the truth. I just want to know who you are, really. I am not part of that. I have been forced into this situation.

Sense motive. 20. You think he's telling the truth. My name is Halster Price. And I'm trying to escape this place with every inch of my soul and every effort my body can give. My name is Dr. Ren Elborn. I study and treat diseases of the mind. I only started working at Briarstone a week ago and at the time I was

excited for the job. That is a rough second week. Yes, it seems hard to believe now in retrospect. Like many of the people that you see out there, I became trapped here when

a patient named Alva Zanderloos provoked a riot and the asylum fell are you are you familiar with zanderlust oh we've seen this handiwork many times yes there are people out there that will follow him to the ends of the earth but there are many out there that are like me trapped here under zanderlust's reign we pretend to be a part of the cult, and he lets us live. Those who don't hang upon the walls outside. I'm sure you have many questions, but I must know, how did you get here?

How did you survive the rooms to reach the cafeteria? Let's go to the recap. Don't do it. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Tell me in your own words. I'll have my music.

Oh, the weather outside. How did you get through all that jazz? Thank you, Underground Arts. What an unbelievable story. 30 minutes later. No, an hour later, so that James... Yeah, exactly. One hour later. that uh james yeah exactly one hour later that is truly amazing well i'm sure you must have many questions for me please ask away

why did you crucify all those people. I did not crucify anyone. That was Xandulus and his people. Oh. In all seriousness now, can I talk? Or am I still... I was just looking around

for something to write on. No, you can't. They have the bags on their head because it was Agra Lumis who did that to them. I have, uh, an ink pen. Okay. And parchment.

So I'm going to write that, that Mr. Lady and I can't speak. We feel the effect will wear off soon. Okay. Uh, how long can we hang, hide out here until we can speak? Okay. Are we safe here for the next hour? Yeah, you know, yes,? Yes, you are quite safe. In fact, once I know a little bit more about you, you could even stay here and rest, if you so choose.

But in answer to your question, the bodies hanging there were victims of Agra Loomis. She's one of Briarstone's only truly dangerous patients. She killed nine men in Rosenport over 40 years ago. They called them the Bag Lady Murders, since she always wrapped up her victims' faces. Apparently she passed between prisons and hospitals, but finally ended up here. She's got to be nearly 70 now, but she's still strong

as the devil. Those who did not join Zandalus immediately were hung, and she insisted to cover their head in bags. Did you say Rosenport? Yes. I know that that's where Zandalose was transferred from

to come here. Whoa. Grant. I took notes. I did a Control-F, Command-F. I'm on a Mac. I looked up Rosenport. That's the PDF for book one.

No, it's not. It's strange Eon's notes. I'm 90% sure. This asshole won't give you a bottle cap for anything. I don't have any. I have bottle caps for you to give him. If you want to give him, I can loan you some bottle caps. Let's wait until he really earns it. I have a bottle cap for my water bottle.

That's trash. What do you know of Xandulus? I know that he's a mute and that he can see perhaps beyond our own world. He came here with much interest. Furiously scribbling over there. Right, artist. Yeah.

Are we still painting? He's able to draw an obelisk outside of the grounds of the... Yeah, everything there. Let's just quickly do a... We do this again. Oh, God. All the way around the side

And we cover all of our sandals. By the time you explain it, now both of you can speak. Yeah! That was a thrilling 33-minute conversation. I just picture it as those of us who can talk like killing time. It's just like, sorry, from the area? Did you go to school around here? Oh, I have a question now that we've been here 40 minutes.

Yes? Is there a door out of here or anything like that? Like to the outside? There are many doors, though we are only allowed to go so far, some based on the rules and some based on the creatures that lurk beyond. Well... Powerful creatures? Yes, as far as we know. Would you say they have a deep reservoir

of inner strength? I do not know their inner workings, but we all fear them deeply. You know what? Knowing inner workings is what I do 11th best.

Well, then I'm sure you'll do just fine here. Is it your plan to go deeper into this? What is your plan? Lord, where is Zandalus? Tell us that first. Where is he? Does he patrol this area? Does he watch over you personally?

Does he and his closest followers keep to what remains of the hall upstairs. You cannot get there through these stairs here, as the upper floors above have crumbled and clogged the stairwell. But deeper in, you can, but no one is allowed up there. Xanderlose's thugs stand guard, but worse, the weird mist collects up there like Xanderlose's thugs stand guard, but worse, the weird mist collects up there like snake in a hole. Who knows what they do in the fog,

but we all hear the chanting and screaming, though we pretend we don't hear. How many of them are you that are pretending and would prefer to not be here well i do not know who is pretending and who is not but i know that there are many people here that are victims they have no choice in the matter it was either stand in line when zandalus took over or be hung on the wall it's wall. It's not so much that they're pretending, but they are prisoners. We have also seen others

that were apostles of Orpiment and they turned into ghouls. Do you have any information on that? Why would these acolytes eventually turn into something they never wanted to be? Ghouls, you say?

I haven't heard anything about them turning into ghouls. Do you know the name Winter Klaxa? Winter Klaxa? It seems to ring a bell, but no. She is rallying survivors to the south. They've created a strange cult of log worshippers. They have found strength in the wood. It has bound them together. There are other survivors here in Briarstone?

Yes. You must not mention this outside of the tent. Okay. There are some in here who believe in Xander Luce's creed, who believe in the prophecies he put forth. Should they know there are survivors, hold up elsewhere they will go and they will kill them. You must keep that to yourself.

What are the specific details of those prophecies? What does he believe is going to happen? And what does he need to do to make it happen? I wish I knew. You're worthless! Slap him in the face. Wasting our time! I have secured Xander Luce's tolerance, if

not his trust, by treating the wounded here in this little makeshift hospital that I have made. I have made myself useful, perhaps even indispensable. You're like the medic in the mob. Yes. They take people to the hospital. It's like a veterinarian with mob ties.

Everyone goes there with gunshot wounds. There's like dogs barking in cages. Yes, I spent most of my time working on diseases of the mind of gerbils. But luckily, I was able to transfer that over to helping people missing limbs. Does Andalus, does he ever come down here to check on

what's going on? At first, he did. But now, he just sends his thugs to tell us what we are to do. Everyone stands in line now. And he looks in the direction of those bodies hanging on the wall. How many thugs are there? I do not know.

Roughly. I do not know for sure. Like six? Seven? There is more like four. Less than six. More than two. Three.

Oh, really? Like, there's not that many? I do not know for sure. We have not seen all of them, but I assume he is well protected. But it's more like five than like 25. As far as I know, yes, but there are other things that lurk the hallways. We may not be much to look at. I agree.

We are. Excuse me? Only I can say that. But we are somewhat powerful. It's true. What other things lurk the halls? I do not know for sure. I have been confined here, but some

of us go deeper to try and scavenge what food we can. There's nothing much but potatoes left in the kitchens. Oh, no. I'm so... I hope you secure them. You'll be sworn by wolverines that can stiff them out. Be sure to keep them in a

high cabinet or something so they don't come breaking in. We know of a wolverine who resides in the outer plains. Well, we are all very sick of potato-based food. Impossible. Is it your desire to go

You truly are crazy. The Irish never get sick of the potatoes. I can see now why you've been interred here in this asylum. Yeah. Never once in my life, man, I really can't have any more mashed potatoes. I was like, yup.

Is it your plan to try and take down Zandalus? It is our plan to escape. And if it and take down Zandalus? It is our plan to escape. And if it means taking down Zandalus, then I believe yes. That will be the only way. You say you have powers, madam. What sort of powers? We are all talented in our own ways.

I'm fueled up with no fewer than three souls right now. I've got an old woman, I've got a rat woman, and I've got a worthless half-orc. Full orc. Full orc. So they say.

Don't you dare speak of the green loser that way. He was light green at best. That's true. Also, I throw bombs. I use the power of my mind to hurt people and learn things. Even if you were to go upstairs and take out Xander Luce's guards, he is still locked away in this maze of fog

up there, from what we understand. So it seems to me if your plan is to escape, and if removing Xanderlose is the only way, perhaps I have an idea. I, myself, have been

unable to do such a thing, but if you consider yourselves capable, perhaps this plan will work. He leans in. No, back up. Not that. No, no. Please.

I have personal space issues. He reeks of potatoes. Listen, listen, quiet. Shut up. Shut up. Sandal... Sandal... Sandalus

calls his most devoted... I'm so uncomfortable. Don't play kiss chicken with me. Kiss you right on the lips Grant Xanderloose calls his most devoted acolytes His onerogens Most stay locked away with them upstairs, from what we understand, but at least one watches over the northwestern tower.

I have no idea what he does up there, but I think he's alone. If you got to him, you could perhaps wring some of Xandalus' secrets out of him, maybe even learn how to get rid of this awful mist. Once it's gone, a way out can perhaps be procured. And what you do with Xandalous

is up to you. Can you guide us to this northwest tower? Look at him. He's so excited. Bless him. I miss you guys. The doors to the northwest will take you there.

Keep moving west until you go west no more and you should find stairs. This is all I know. You are well versed in working on diseases of the mind. Yes. But not diseases of the body. We are very

ill. I feel us weakening by the day. Do you have any sort of medicines? Anything that could help us? Such as what? Such as the cure for filth fever. I... Or the spell

Lesser restoration I do not have access to spells and what not Are you all ill? All five of you? Our supplies are very low I feel fine Not all as lucky as him very low. I feel fine. Yes, we are all not all as lucky as him.

Maybe I could find something here. And he reaches into like a medical bag and he's like here, take this. And he gives you a potion of cure moderate wounds. Oh. This actually

tracks with what you said about Briarstone Asylum They didn't want to use magic to treat these mental ailments So good job, Troy Yeah That's really all that we can part with All right You win this round Which way do we go?

To the north West To the? To the north West To the northwest To the northwest To the store I mean I'm ready to go I don't know about you guys Oh I'm ready

I think we're just gonna get I'm ready Sicker if we wait Yeah And we might as well just go Alright so There are two doors He's made it seem to you

That like both doors Lead to the same room He'll tell you that Like both doors Lead to the same room But the farther tell you that. Both doors lead to the same room, but the farther you go in, he doesn't really know what's in there. Are they trapped? They're both heavily trapped. No. Move yourselves on the map up to those doors. Let us go. With all haste.

Halster, open the door. Of course, as is custom. Oh, Mrs. O'Leary turns to Tiny Murder Clown. By the way, we learned some things about you. Oh, that's right. What do you mean? We found your file. Right?

Yes. We found your file Was it thick? No No I know him, that makes sense You go through the files And you find it again

It says, matching his physical description His name was Ferbal Hoss. Originally from Nizwan, Ferbal was exiled from his homeland after offending a council member, or excuse me, a member of the council of three and nine. Colon.

Claims to have the power to seal souls. That tracks. I mean, does any of that sound familiar to me at all? The seal souls part really... That really sings. That really hits home. That really hits home.

Plays on my heartstrings, yeah. That's one thing that did remain after all this. But Council of Three and Nine, this one, no, it's like vague recollections. But that's about it. Wow. Verbal Huss. Verbal Huss. Would you like us to address you as Verbal? I kind of about it. Wow. Verbal Huss. Verbal Huss. Would you like us

to address you as Verbal? I kind of like it. I mean, you can call me whatever you want. I kind of like Tiny Murder Clown, too. I like Tiny Murder Clown.

I'm a fan of Tiny Murder Clown. I'll call you Verbal. I mean, what's really your name? Your name that your mom gives you or what your friends

call you, right, buddies? Yeah. It's a term of endearment. Alright. I'll be Tiny Murder Clown as long as you guys are alive. Aww. That's nice. Do you plan on helping us to stay alive?

For the next 20 minutes. Okay. Then probably again in a few months. You guys want to open the door? Yes. Absolutely. You open the door and you see a room that's sort of an upside down L shape. To the

north there's more rubble collapse. Directly across from you to the south you you see a door, and then the room stretches on. I'll give you a little flavor. You see at least one fireplace, but it looks like a row of fireplaces standing among heaps of barrel-sized pots and cooking implements in this ruin of what was very clearly a kitchen. There's doors all over the place, southeast. Atticus, who's busy talking to his buddy Matthew, you would see with your dark vision, there's a door on the far side of the room as well.

I can see with my dark vision, there's a door on the far side of the room as well. Yes, but multiple corners of the room have collapsed. How much dark vision do you have? 60 feet. All right, so I'm not really giving you... You guys, you all can't see this, but you would be able to see that there's this weird little line of rocks

that looks very deliberately cordoning off the westernmost door. What do you do? I'm going to say... I have a feeling we're going to be up against something rather dangerous. Let's move quickly and not hesitate. I'm going to reach out, I think, and touch Mrs. O'Lady. And I'm going to cast...

I'm going to cast Fox is Cunning. Fox is Cunning on Mrs. O'Lady. Okay. Uh, give her a plus four bonus to intelligence for the next three minutes. Ooh. So let's move quickly so she can case the area, knowledge checks, stuff like that. All right. So do you move into the room?

Yes. All right. Where do you go? Uh, I'll just move my character into here. I think in this, uh, upside down L or right side up seven, Halster will go straight to the rocks. So Halster beelines him up to the edge of the rocks. Aldo hustles after him to be close to his best friends. Okay.

TMC, run TMC. He's going to come along as well. All right. He's going to come along as well Alright so They're all in kind of a straight line They're going to investigate that rock pile While Atticus and Mrs. O'Lady hang out Towards the back of the room

Can I roll a knowledge check on the rock pile? The formation perhaps? Which knowledge would you like? Engineering I don't have that one Oh you want to do Arcana to see if there's any What were you trying to figure out? Any kind of magical significance want to do Arcana to see if there's any... What were you trying to figure out? Any magical significance?

Yeah, then roll Arcana. That will be a 31. Oh, wow. That's high, Bob. That's high. Definitely not any magical significance. Oh. You're 100% sure.

Is there anything unusual that I just note with a perception check? Yeah, go ahead and roll a perception. 24. Nothing unusual per se other than they're blocking off that side of the room.

You don't know if they're blocking off the fireplace or if they're blocking off the door or if they're blocking off the collapse. This looks intentional though.

This isn't just... It looks very intentional. Are they big rocks or are they small rocks? the collapse. This looks intentional, though? This isn't just... It looks very intentional. Are they big rocks or are they small rocks? They're various size rocks. Is there one that's under five pounds? No. Yeah, sure. There's one under five pounds.

I will lift it to see what happens with my telekinesis to see what happens. Lift the rock. Oh, that's cool. I know, right? Do you fling it or you just levitate it? I lift it and move it out of its spot. Nothing happens.

I drop it. The room explodes. Seeing... Aside from the explosion, everything seems to be fine. Seeing this, getting an idea from Mrs. O'Lady, Atticus is going to step up. And he's going to reach out and do the same exact thing. He's going to mage hand up a rock. Okay.

And throw it at that far door. So it's like, dunk. And just see if there's any reaction to that. Throw it at the far door. Dunk. Roll a perception check. Someone else like to roll a perception check. Nine.

You see the rock hit the door and just fall. And we wait a minute. Not a minute. Sorry. We wait four seconds. Nothing happens. Push forward. Nothing. Let's push forward. Halstah, quickly. Actually,

Aldo is going to just search each of these fireplaces in turn before we move on. Alright, so Aldo's plan is to search one, two, and then three fireplaces. Yeah. And Halster will go ahead of him in front of the third one before he gets there to protect him. So, like, he'll do the furthest away one, the second one, and then as he gets to the third one before he gets there to protect him. So he'll do the furthest

away one, the second one, and then as he gets to the third one, Halster will be in front of him. Where's Tiny Murder Clown going? He'll stand behind Aldo and go, What are you looking for, buddy? Mrs. O'Lady? I'll join Halster. Okay, you join Halster.

And Atticus? I'll join Mrs. O Erlady and Halster. Okay. So you let Aldo kind of do his thing. Aldo, roll a perception check. Ooh, that is a 23. So you see these big barrel-sized pots in all the fireplace, but they're inert.

There's nothing happening with any of them. Whatever this kitchen was originally used for, it hasn't been used in a while, as far as you can tell. So you search the first fireplace. You find nothing. You go over to the second fireplace with Aldo and Mrs. O'Lady, excuse me, with Halster and Mrs. O'Lady right behind you. Nothing. You get up to the third one, and all of a sudden you hear a noise of like a pot clattering. Ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting. But you don't see anything cooking on any of the fireplaces. But then all of a sudden, the pot that's there

starts to move. Oh, no. Everybody roll for initiative. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Roll, roll, roll, roll, roll for initiative.

Give it to me straight, tiny murder clown. 13. 13 for TMC. My lucky number. Mrs. O'Lady. 20. 20 for Mrs. O'Lady. 20. 20 for Mrs. O'Lady.

Atticus. Are we no longer fatigued? Yeah. No, it's been an hour. That was from the other thing. Then that is a 21. 21. Philly Joe.

Aldo. 16. 16 for Aldo. Halster. Halster has a 16. Yes. Aldo,ster. Halster has a 16. Yes. Aldo, what did you have? Grant forgot the name of his character.

No, no, no. We were going down the line, and then he skipped over to Aldo instead of Halster, so I answered. 16 for Halster. What did you have, Aldo? 17. 17. Boom. Okay.

Billy Joe. Billy Joe. Yeah! Matthew, there's only a few minutes left in this show, really. We just rolled initiative. I think it's time for a mind eraser. It's time to erase your mind! Enjoy.

Oh, come on! Made me drink alone. Mrs. O'Lady is immune to peer pressure. He's got a 9 o'clock train tomorrow, but I got a 9 o'clock job to go to. Drink that mind eraser. Woo! Yes.

I thought it would work. You're a foolish man. As soon as the three of you get up there, the cauldron tips over, and a vaporous spectral image of a lean man's sobbing face pours out of the end of the cauldron, filling the area for a moment, just like, oh, and then it just dissolves. Oh, no. Everybody roll a fortitude save. Oh, my God. Everybody within that area.

So just the two of you and Mrs. O'Lady, not TMC and Atticus. Eight. Eight'Lady. Not TMC and Atticus. Eight. Eight. Thirteen. Thirteen. Six. You all feel really, really bad. But you don't know why. Round one.

It's Atticus' turn. Atticus, you see them all buckle over in pain From something happening within their stomach You see this spectral face emerge as well What do you do? It dissolves as soon as it comes out So there's nothing there There's nothing there

I delay You delay, Mrs. O'Lady Billy Joe Wait, wait, wait No, I don't delay I'm going to do a knowledge check Okay I'm going to do a knowledge check. Okay. I'm going to do a knowledge religion.

Boo! Give them what they want, Joe. All right, I'll delay. You win. He is dressed like Santa Claus in Philadelphia, so it makes sense that they boo him. Can I roll a knowledge check? Yeah, roll a knowledge religion. I don't have that one. Wait, can I roll it untrained?

I don't know No As long as the DC is 10 or lower, you're fine Can't roll it untrained unless you're a bard You got nothing I will move Move away from it or move past it? Move past it

Move past it towards the direction of the door? Yes Okay, Aldo, what do you do? You're going to move away from it or move past it? Move past it. Move past it towards the direction of the door? Yes. Okay. Aldo, what do you do? Aldo is... All right. I think he's just going to step back towards this other door down on the southern wall. Okay.

And he's just kind of like searching his body. What's happening to me? I feel utterly buggered. Something. Mate? That's Aldo, all right. Halster, what do you do? If Halster can't see anything or act on anything, he will...

God, I want to delay, Joe. I've never done this before. You never do. Get into it, dude. Join the club. We are in the city of brotherly love. We are in the city of the Liberty Bell. Let's delay, baby. Yeah, baby.

Yeah, baby. It's exactly how the rebels, the revolutionaries, that's how they approached the war against the hated British. Oh, no. Delayed, the hated British. Oh, no. Delayed, delayed, delayed. Oh, thank you. Delayed until General Howe

just got tired of running after them and surrendered. Tiny murder clown. So, there's nothing to see at this stage. Nothing to see.

It seems like whatever happened has happened. And your friends have been affected by it. But that's it. But their brief... Oh. Oh. Oh. Well, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to plant both of my little feet with the upturned

toes with the little bells on the end. I'm going to hold out my fists and I'm going to ready to punch something the second that I see it. Readies to punch. Atticus, I see it. Ready's to punch. Atticus, what do you do? Nothing has happened. This thing came out, and it's gone.

You don't even feel like you're in danger anymore. I'll do a knowledge religion. Do a knowledge religion. Maybe see if whatever happened is past and is done. 18. Yeah, some sort of haunt. The haunt took effect. It may happen again.

You want to get the hell out of there. Yeah. All right. I'm not going to move until this thing shows its face and I can punch it. Yes, he will turn to Aldo and be like, Open the door. Get us out of here before this thing re-emerges. Too right!

And on his next opportunity, he does so. It is Mrs. O'Lady, then it's Aldo's turn. The door is down to the south? Yes. I'm sorry, I moved myself in the wrong space. I will move over and open the door. Mrs. O'Lady moves over and opens the door.

There are a few people in this room. Oh, goddammit. There are few people in this room. Oh, goddammit. There are four people in this room. Oh. What? Oh, no. Those ones in the back are creepy! They're like the Shining twins.

Oh. Oh, no. Come play with us, Mrs. Old Lady. Come play with us. Okay. Okay So you open the door And you see cracks Everywhere immediately on the south Side of the room

The wall is completely cracked Like there are two doors leading out Somewhere but that wall is a Disaster and they've got like Really poor barricades Up against it. There's smoke that kind of billows out of the room as you walk in from cooking fires. There's doors all over the place. You walk in and you see four of these apostles in

ornament. Two of them turn on you, brandishing those same makeshift weapons that you've seen all throughout this. And when you just came into the giant cafeteria full of these apostles. And then the other two turn around with frying pans in their hand. There is a distinct smell of potatoes in the air. And they're like, who are you? Where are your robes? We're in training. We haven't received our robes yet.

We haven't earned them. Training? Training for what? We are being inducted as apostles in Orpiment. You are in training for... We were sent to gather potatoes this way. We're all a bluff, Jack.

Come on, Matthew! I can throw inspiration on this. No. Thirteen. We've never went through any training. No, no, this doesn't add up at all. What's your story over there, crazy hair? Looks at Aldo.

We're in training. I believe you. That woman in the back steps up. She's like, gentlemen, please, please. Obviously, they are friends of the Orpament, unless they came through and murdered everyone in the large hall. No, exactly. Would we even be here if we weren't friends?

I put my bloody arms behind my back. Yeah, look, he's just a regular gnome. Look at him. Bless him. I want you to look me in the eyes and say you didn't murder anyone in the eyes and say you didn't murder anyone in the previous hall. We didn't murder anyone in the previous

hall. No. Do we all have to say it? Of course not. All together now. We didn't murder anyone in the previous hall. At all. Offerment. Good. Apostles.

Are you at all interested in some potatoes? Yes. Oh, I'm so hungry. What kind of potatoes? We have... Scalloped? All sorts of potatoes. O'Grodden?

We're very sick of potatoes. I made a lovely potato filet the other day. Filet? I'm very tired, and all I have to work with is potatoes. I made a lovely potato filet the other day. Filet? I'm very tired and all I have to work with is potatoes. Potato loin. It's like a...

Yes. Yes, we have a stuffed potato. It's stuffed with other potatoes, of course. And of course... Potato stuffed potato.

Potatoes au gratin, but instead of cheese, it's really just more potatoes that we melt over the potato. Oh, a patuckin! Yes. Oh, well, at Thanksgiving this year, we all roasted the potato.

Yes. I carved it, of course. I imagine you have vast and unparalleled skills at peeling potatoes by now. Unfortunately, yes. I was a pastry chef before this all went down. I'm yes. I was a pastry chef before this all went down. I'm sorry.

I've disposed with pleasantries. My name is Ivory. Ivory Gardine. I was the pastry chef. I say pastry chef. I was the pastry chef back at my former job, but things didn't work out.

I ended up here, and my talents perhaps went to waste. Patients don't need creme brulee. Were we going to eat, by the way? This would be real more interesting if we were eating at the same time. Yes, um, what? We don't have a menu, per se,

but, uh... Just give us potatoes! Here's a potato. Oh! I just scarf it down like a dog eating a piece of cheese. That looks delectable. Yes, no, it's not. It's very terrible. But anyways, there's so much to discuss.

Gentlemen, please put down your crowbars. They're obviously with us. These are my friends, and she points to the other three people. We're all cool. I don't know what your story is, but we don't mean to hurt you. We're more afraid of what's happening here than anyone. Anyways, I was a pastry chef and I came here and my talents were wasted. When the riots went down, I made cookie dough out of the remaining supplies and was able to give it to the rioters. And for some reason it worked.

It kept me alive. But now all I have is potatoes and I can't make cookie dough out of potatoes. And so I feel as if our lives are at risk. Isn't that right? And they're all like, yes, we're very sick of potatoes. Well, perhaps if we were to journey forward, we hear

a rumor that somewhere near the Northwest Tower there might be some flour. And then you can make potato gnocchi. Oh! Which is kind of like a pastry. Roll a bluff check.

Okay. Come on, man. Eight. Oh, goddammit. Ten. Ten. Why would you lie about the presence of flour? I'm sorry.

It's a very dark time and we must be given hope. I love gnocchi. We ventured forth in the vain hope that we might find some flour as to make gnocchi. And yet, here we are. We come through these haunted halls and we find a pastry chef who might be able to make it. Should we find some flour? Is that not, in and of itself, a minor miracle? Sometimes hope requires a bit of self-delusion.

Exactly. And we are masters of that. We know for certain if we do not go through that door, there will never be any flour. He's right. But if we do, there might be. Yes. She looks at all of you, and just as she's about to speak, suddenly the doors to the south that were blocked by debris, I said like really poorly made barricades, start shaking violently. Like... And all four of them just like

Back up against the wall The two guards, the non-cooks like hold their weapons And they just like They're shaking, watching as something is just like Shaking the door violently What is that? And then it stops What was that?

What is in there? We don't know But that? And then it stops. What was that? What is in there? We don't know. But if you are friends to us, and you are here more than just to bring us flour, perhaps you

would deal with the threats outside as much as I would love a good gnocchi or a tart. Or a tart. I would much rather good gnocchi or a tart... Or a tart. I would much rather not be murdered by whatever that is. It's only a matter of time until that door and our shitty barricades give way. Perhaps you could go investigate what lurks beyond. It would be a great boon to the apostles in Orpament.

As well to me, I've regarding pastry chef. I think we can arrange that. Tiny Murder Clown. Yeah? How are you at investigating? Um, investigating's what I do about 40th best. Sounds good enough for me. Head right in, old friend.

We'll follow you. Oh, you want me to go first? I wouldn't dream of surpassing you. This will be a moment that everyone will remember. The triumph of Gerbil Voss. Ferbil Voss. Ferbil. Oh, Ferbil. Okay. Tiny Murder Claw.

Runs through. Gerbil Voss. Oh, Ferbal. Okay. Tiny Murder Clown, I just want the door. Runs through. Ferbal Boss. After me, lads and ladies. So TMC runs out. Which door, left or right? I always take the left-hand path. So Ferbal Hoss, nay.

Tiny Murder Clown opens the door. Tiny Murder Clown, nay for Verbal Haas. That's true. Nay. Not to be Matthew, but... And it leads... You really Matthewed me there. Been Matthewed. It leads to outside.

Oh, I've escaped! You don't see anything. You don't see anything. You don't see the source of that door shaking. You do see a tree, but it looks like it opens into a courtyard. There's a sour smell in the air, and the mist is sort of wafting throughout.

You can see, but the mist is moving constantly as the air kind of tunnels down into this opening in the asylum, and it's making the mist move so rapidly that sometimes you can feel like you can see deeper into the courtyard, and it looks like it goes on for a while. Other times, you can't see more than 10, 20 feet in front of you. There are eddies in the fog, creating like phantom shapes among the shadows of bent trees and wilted foliage. You can see that probably at a time this had the makings of a very

picturesque courtyard but now all the plants are dead and the air hangs thick with the smell of rot. What do you do? I run into the mist and disappear. Go follow me you do? I run into the mist and disappear! Go follow me, you guys!

And just run into the chaos of the mist. Goodbye! Follow me! Come on! Tiny Murder Clown disappears into the mist. There's a small little path there that he walks along to the left. What does Mrs. O'Lady

do? I follow Tiny Murder Clown. You follow Tiny Murder Clown right on his heels, and you start to see a little bit more of this courtyard. There is a pathway that looks to encircle it, and you can see off that door leading out the other way, there's another pathway, so maybe it circles the courtyard. You can't quite tell.

Atticus, looks like you moved out as well. Yes, following Mrs. O'Lady into the mist. Following Mrs. O'Lady into the mist. Aldo Casimir, what do you do? He says, come on, best friends. We've got to protect our other best friends. And he runs out under this tree sitting here and gets next to Mrs. O'Lady to see what's happening.

Okay. And finally, Halster Price, what do you do? Shit, I love potatoes. Oh, and I've got to go. And he runs outside. You run outside as well. So you're out there in the mist, rotting trees. Sometimes you can see deeper in.

Sometimes you can't. Tiny murder clown, you're at the front of this. Leading the charge. What do you do? I search forward and take a right around that corner and go deeper into the mist. I'm not afraid of anything. Fellas, we're home free! into the mist. I'm not afraid of anything.

Fellas, we're home free! Verbal Hoss slash Tiny Murder Clown delves deeper in and you see that the courtyard just continues on and on. Mrs. O'Lady, what do you do? I follow Tiny Murder Clown.

You follow Tiny Murder Clown. Aldo Casimir? Same. I'm sticking with Mrs. Aldo Casimir. Same. I'm sticking with Mrs. O'Lady. Sticking with Mrs. O'Lady. How's the price? I like this plan.

It's a good one. Let's go with it. So you stick to the path there, moving along. Atticus, something very strange about this. You can't quite wrap your head around it, but it just, it's very unsettling. Moments ago, you heard a ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. You walk out here and you see nothing but a vaporous courtyard.

All your friends keep moving along there. Something seems off to you. What do you do? Can I do a knowledge check? Yeah. Can I do, I don? Yeah. Can I do... I don't know, man. This is crazy. Knowledge religion? Knowledge arcana?

I don't know. I'm just going to follow them. Okay. You're just going to follow them. Yeah, I have a bad feeling, but it's like, it's just a horrible place. You always have a bad feeling. At that moment, things get really, really weird. Aldo, roll a perception check.

23. You're walking along, and you're a little bit off the path, whereas the rest of them are following. You went up to that tree, and then you sculpt along to the tree. There's only so much room on the path, and you're not moving single file. You're walking along out there, and you've got your eyes peeled all around you, and it looks like there is a white horse galloping deeper into the mist. Oh, and behold, I saw a white horse galloping deeper into the mist. Oh, and behold, I saw a white horse. At that moment, around Atticus's feet,

the yellow vapor and fog in the courtyard seems to curl around your leg and start grasping at your ankle and pulling you. At that same moment, all of you hear, as the body of a ghoul just explodes in front of your feet. And! Something comes down. Uh-oh.

And goes after Mrs. O'Lady. What is it? Oh, no. What does it look like? I think I know what it is. It's the tickler. Let's go a little long tonight. No! We're going long. We're going long.

We're going long. So give your love. We're going long. Just a little. Going long. Just a little. Going long. So give your love.

We're going long. Thank you, Nick Lowe. Everybody roll for initiative. Oh, my God. Roll, Ricka, roll, Ricka, roll, Ricka, roll, Ricka, roll for initiative. Just a little bit long. I want to finish the year, finish the season with a bang. Literally and possibly.

No, just literally. Oh, no. Atticus, what do you got? I got an 18. Okay, not bad, not bad. Not bad. Mrs. Old Lady? 13.

Aldo? 21. 21 is good. Halster? Four. Four. I don't like it. Tiny Murder Clown.

19. 19. 19. Tiny Murder Clown. 19. 19 for Tiny Murder Clown. Okay. Oh, boy. First thing that happens, that fog that was roiling around your ankle there, Atticus. Atticus. It tries to trip you. It's going to be a 16 against CMD.

I have a killer CMD. No, no, no. Yes, hit. Yeah, it hits you. The fog yanks you and you trip and fall prone. On the ground. Onto the moist ground. At that moment, above Mrs. O'Lady,

a faceless, eerily gaunt creature with a long body and a weird moist tail comes down and tries to claw you. Oh god.

23. Oh my god. 23. Oh, my God. Oh, no. A couple of things are going to happen. First, you take eight points of damage. Okay. Then it tries to grab you. Oh, no. Natty 18.

Oh, no. So this thing above your head comes in, claws you for eight points of damage, and then grapples you. And you all of a sudden feel very light as it slowly lifts you off the ground. It is Aldo's turn. Aldo, you see this. You hear Atticus fall to the ground. A body exploded in front of you, and

Mrs. O'Lady has been clawed and grabbed by who knows what. Can I do a perception check to see if I can make out what it is that's grabbing Mrs. O'Lady? Yeah. That is an eight. An eight. It's

all happening very fast. You can't quite get a good look at it. It's got wings. It's got this long tail. You have no idea what it is. Okay. I'm going to try to throw a bomb behind it to catch it in the blast radius of my bomb. Here's the problem.

It's flying in the air. There is no time. Oh. Well, then... I am going to charge it and hack at it with my sickle. Okay. So you step up and give a swing with your sickle. Oh, that's a natty 19.

Yeah, dude. There you go. Every little bit counts. So that is a 19. That is a hit. So that is a 19. Four points a hit. So that is a 19. Four points of damage. Four points of damage.

On hand, Moe Lighting! Perhaps the first sickle attack from Aldo in however long we've played this. Quite some time, yes. Tiny Murder Clown. Something about this. Yeah, this feels familiar. Very, very familiar to you. Yeah.

Before I do anything, I just yell out to Mrs. Old Lady. And I'm like, don't worry too much, Mrs. Old Lady. This thing picked me up once and it mostly just tickled me. In the brain. And then I'm going to. Now I'm even more terrified. I'm going to move around. I guess I can move my own guy.

I'm going to move around to get adjacent to the creature. Okay. You've got enough movement to get over there. Now, obviously, it's flying, so adjacent is relative, but you can get within attacking range. Oh, yeah. It's still within swing range. If it moves up at all, you're out of your range.

All right, so here's what I'm going to do. This is going to be pretty cool, I think. I'm going to leap up and do like a little backflip thing. Okay. And try to come down with both of my heels on its back. And what I'm doing is a hungry ghost monk trick that is called a stunning kick. And if it's successful, I can move it five feet. And I'm going to just try and push it further down to the ground.

Ooh. Nice. Nice. All right. Give us a chance. Roll to hit with your stunning kick. Ooh. Nice. Nice. All right. Give us a chance. Roll to hit with your stunning kick. This is huge. This is huge, Mr. Mona.

Oh, all right. I got a 22. Oh, yes. That is a hit. Yes. Yeah, dude. All right. So it's actually called Punishing Kick.

It needs to do a DC, unfortunately, 13 fortitude save, I assume. Yeah, DC 13 fortitude save. Crushed it. Well, it's still gonna take some damage from my foot. How much damage are we talking? I mean, a little. D4 plus 1. Take this, you

feel healed! I did two points of damage. Two points of damage. Oh, man. That was one punishing kick. You healed it for two points of damage. That's good. I did. That's good.

Come on. Come on. It's the end of the night. Atticus, you're on your back. The fog just tripped you. Mel Torme. The velvet fog. Atticus

is just going to, in a panic, on the ground, he's going to cast mirror image on himself. Okay. Give himself multiple images. New spell. New spell. Never rolled a mirror image d4.

Five images! Wow. Five images! Wow. Wow! Max images! That's great, because you're clearly the target of this thing. So you're going to need all those images. And then he stands up. And then he will stand up.

Mrs. O'Lady, you are in the clutches of this thing. It's bad news. And it seems that way. Yeah. So I'm going to roll to cast defensively, and if I get it, I'm going to need you to roll a will save. Okay. Roll to cast defensively.

Casting while grappled is a different DC, no? Yeah. Even for psychic spells? What's that? Even for psychic spells that require no somatic or verbal components? Oh! What do you guys think? Psychic spells, do you still have to...

Yeah, I heard a yes. That's all I needed. Sorry. One yes. So the DC is 10 higher. No, I don't know what the DC is. I mean, my DC is 17. Okay, make it a 20.

Okay, I still got it. Okay. Okay. So I got to roll a what? Will save. Okay, will save. Now, I still got it. Okay. Okay. So I gotta roll a what? Will save. Okay, will save. Now, if it, actually, when it took damage against Eric, I had to roll against Tiny Murder Clown, I had to roll a fly check

to make sure it didn't drop five. Oh, yeah, sure. Made it. So I'll do the same thing here. What kind of save? Will. Oh, failed. Oh, on the ground. Get him. Alright, seven points of damage from a mind thrust. Not bad. Nice.

I'll tell you right now, every little bit counts. It is Halster Price, and then I say, please kill this thing. I would like to get back to the ground. She very calmly says, Halster will step over the six Atticus's or Atticae, however you want to say it, and get into flanking position with Aldo, I hope. I know he throws bombs, but I think he can still throw fists.

I'm armed with a sickle. I'm armed with a sickle. He shot the sickle. I forgot. Here we go. Here is the attack. That should be a 22 to hit. That is a hit.

All right, dude. Here we go. This is huge. Minimum damage. Six points of damage. Oh. Brutal. Oh, that is...

Oh, no. That is so bad. Very, very, very bad. It's its turn. Let me put it on the screen here. You want to see what it looks like? Yes. Yes. I on the screen here. You want to see what it looks like? Yes. Yes.

I have it right here. I just got to expand it so you can really see what this thing looks like. Look at that. Oh. This was something I read that Lovecraft dreamed about as a child. Oh, really? He would see it crawling over the edge of his bed. Oh, my God.

In his nightmares. And he said, one day I will create that creature. And it will be the creature that kills Mrs. O'Lady. No. Because on its turn, it does a few things. First of all, it tries to maintain the grapple. Crushes it. Surprise, surprise.

I get so many bonuses to maintain it. You had no chance. Then, it flies up into the air with you. Flies up into the mist. Triggering five attacks of opportunity. Triggering five attacks of, well, whoever has a melee weapon out

will get an attack of opportunity. My first domestic weapon. Natural 20. Yes. Natural fucking 20. Yes. Oh. Yes.

Trag. Trag. Trag. Trag. Trag. Trag. Trag. Trag.

Roll the confirm. Natural 17 on the confirm. Oh. Oh, baby. Oh, my God. Wow. Oh, my God. Wow. Oh, my God. That's...

Hold on. Chris from Moscow, Ohio. The Picard Maneuver. With an incredible rush of adrenaline, you move with an unbelievable burst of speed, double damage, and you may immediately take a five foot step leaving a mirror

image of yourself behind that lasts one round. In addition you can make one extra attack at your normal bonus. No save. Skid, I love your Star Trek references. Have fun explaining this one. Wow. That is cool as hell.

I literally didn't even see that when I picked it. Wow. I'll tell you right now. You're all going to get this attack. You're going to get this attack. You're going to get this attack. And Eric is going to get this attack. If you kill it, there's a chance Mrs. Old Lady will survive.

If you do not kill this thing, I'm telling you right now, there is a very small chance she will survive. Roll damage. Well, clearly I've taken inspiration from Captain Kirk's Corbomite maneuver. Yeah! We thought this was a Kobayashi Maru situation. But there is hope. Make it so, Mr. Data. Come on, come on That is 13 points of damage

Okay, and then still alive You get another attack And I get another attack Your normal attack bonus 11 Miss Okay Halster

Come on, Halster Oh, come on Let's get a Philly special right here. Oh, that's not good. 18 to hit. Come on. Was that an 18? Yeah, it's a 10 on the die.

Or an 8 on the die plus 10. Either way it works. That's a hit. Yeah! Nine points of damage. Ooh, all right. It all comes down to the one and only. Still alive, special guest, Eric Mona.

Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric. Come on, dude. Come on, dude. I got a 12! Oh, no! I'm sorry, that is a miss. Eric Mona, tiny murder clown, misses. I hate this game. It maintains the grapple and it lifts Mrs. O'Lady into the air.

Fly check to see if it can go straight up. Natty 19 on the fly check. He can't stop right now. Crush City behind this screen lifts you up 20 feet. You are now concealed by the mist. And we'll see you next year, everybody. Oh!

Oh! What? Oh! Oh, dude. Oh, you guys. Thank you. Oh, you guys. you