The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 2 – As If You Didn't Know

Episode Date: May 24, 2022

Your favorite nerds are back with more Strange Aeons LIVE from PAX Unplugged 2018 in Philly! Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Grant Berger and Matthew Capodicasa of The Glass Cannon Network along with special guest Paizo's own Erik Mona as they continue the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Adventure Path! Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/-0gUKm8XK2I Recap 7:08 Gameplay 11:04 For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Welcome, everybody, to Glass Cannon Live! This is great. It's great to be here in the city of brotherly love. Right, Grant? That's right. It's the city of cheese steaks, the Super Bowl winning champs, the Philadelphia Eagles. G-L-E-S, Eagles! And it's the home of Joe O'Brien. Ancestral home. Three things that literally no one likes.

Three things that make me physically nauseous. I'm surprised you've been here this long without vomiting. I'm sick to my stomach. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Everyone loves cheese sticks. Joe, I hate to break this to you, but as someone born and raised in a real city like Boston, and who's lived in a truly great city like New York for the

past 18 years, your city sucks. This is a terrible, terrible city Your sports teams are garbage How dare you Your biggest cultural icon is a fictional boxer That's a stolen joke And only in Philly do you have people like yourself Who pronounce words like water and crayon Like you got a mouth full of cheese whiz and hot beef

It is the natural one of cities like water and crayon like you got a mouthful of cheese whiz and hot beef. It is the natural one of cities. And I hope your son grows up to be a Steelers fan and your daughter a Cowboys cheerleader. Can you imagine? Can you imagine? I'm going to buy him a little Steelers onesie and her a little Dallas pom-pom. I'm totally, that's all I'm buying them.

Every birthday, every Christmas. Send them to the office. Is everybody having a good PAX Unplugged? We are very excited to be back here for year two of PAX Unplugged. We were in this room last year, a year ago yesterday. And we're even more excited to be playing session two of Strangeax Unplugged. We were in this room last year, a year ago yesterday. And we're even more excited to be playing session two of Strange

Aeons live right here tonight. Yeah, we are very excited for that. The dice rolls are real. The deaths are permanent. Grant's dice are loaded. Joe's rage is boiling. Matthew's barely awake and Skid's still drunk from last night. In fact, this is exactly

how all of our podcast recordings go. We have a very special guest joining us at the table, you may have noticed. You may recognize him from the pages of every Pathfinder and Starfinder product you've ever held in your greasy little hands. He is the publisher and CCO of Pies

Awake, Mr. Arcmona. Eric, welcome. Good to have you here. Thank you, Troy. Thank you for having me. You know, obviously this is a show, but we're really just a bunch of nerds playing Pathfinder, and we love just to get to play with you. We don't get to do it that often, so thanks. Well, the feeling is very mutual, my friend. Now I've got to go around the table and talk about the guys. Skid, when we kicked off Strange Aeons in L.A. a couple months ago, you gave me a pretty detailed list of your fears to make sure I didn't go after anything too close to home for you.

I saw that you received a fitting gift last night at the meet and greet. I did. And it actually had occurred to me after saying all those things that it may have been a mistake to broadcast all of your deepest fears to the world. But I did it. And last night,

someone gave me a very thoughtful gift. This shirt I'll hold open. There they are. It's Kai. Kai Ehrlich, who's probably here somewhere. Thank you, Kai. There he is. I took a picture of it. Get him!

Go Rhode Island! Grant, how are you, sir? Doing well, Troy. Grant gave me a bear hug the other night and cracked one of my ribs. I was thinking today, I remember the first time I met Grant, he guested in one of my games for the Jade Regent game, do you remember? Yes. And he's a friend of Skid's, but Joe had met him once.

And I said, well, is he cool? And Joe's like, yeah, he's a good guy. He's just kind of big. I was like, well, what do you mean? It doesn't matter what he weighs. I have plenty of room in my apartment. He's like, no, no, not like big, like fat. He's just like, he's just like rough and loud and takes up a lot of space. And five years later, a more perfect description of Grant Nair was spoken. And five years later, a more perfect description of Grant Nair was spoken. Now my notes say to talk to Matthew about playwriting crap unless we're short on time. In which case, I'll just cut it because no one cares.

So, hey, Matthew, how's it going, buddy? It's going great, Troy. Cool, moving on. I want to thank you guys for coming out tonight. I want to thank you for coming here tonight and for supporting us over the past few years. We have some very exciting plans for 2019. Some tour dates announced and some other big announcements that are coming very soon. And Eric, I believe you have an announcement.

You know, I feel like a con is a place to make an announcement, right? That's what people do at cons. Yeah, sure. You know, I feel like a con is a place to make an announcement, right? That's what people do in cons. Yeah, sure. Well, Paizo is happy to announce that we have signed another sponsorship deal for Glass Cannon, and we'll be working together for a few more years at least. Yeah! Hooray!

A few more years. A few more years. Literally starts today. We did it a while ago and it starts today. My whole appearance was predicated on signing that damn contract. He really raked us

over the coals on that one. Very exciting. This is very exciting. Yes, we're excited to continue the partnership before we move on to a Magic the Gathering podcast. Those nerds

But seriously Whether you buy our merch Whether you buy tickets to our shows Subscribe to our Patreon Whatever you do We thank you from the bottom of your hearts For showing us this love Make sure and come and see us in Chicago

Dallas, Portland, Brooklyn, Seattle Or all of the other cities That we're going to announce for the second half of the year pretty soon. But let's play pretend. Who wants to play pretend? Yes! Yeah! Yeah!

So, how many people watched the first session of this? Okay. Okay, put your hands down. Who didn't watch it? Security? Keep your hands up. Keep your hands up. All right, well, I'm going to tell you what happened,

but I still want you to go back and re-watch it. So when we started this adventure in Los Angeles, the great city of L.A., another good city. Oh, Jesus. You're going to have people waiting for you in the parking lot. They're going to beat the shit out of you. Just throwing D batteries at me. Yeah, exactly. Like you deserve. Well, it's Christmas after all, so...

Troy, it's alright. Just dress like a beloved figure, like Santa Claus, and surely everyone will leave you alone. There's no way they would throw batteries at me then. Well, when we started this adventure, four characters found themselves in a city they didn't recognize as yellow fog started to roll in, followed by footsteps from somewhere within the mist. Now, some chose to run down alleyways up ahead.

Others chose to run directly into the fog. Eventually, though, they were all killed by a strange, eerily gaunt creature covered in rags and tatters. They then awake to find out it was all some strange dream. They're actually locked in a prison, in a dungeon, and they have no recollection of how they got there, where there is, and most importantly, who they are. Just outside their cells, they see a strange doctor cutting into an unrecognizable man with various tools. The man kicks the doctor, the keys go flying, and the characters end up escaping from their prison. As the doctor viciously murders the man on the table, the prisoners then go after her.

She reveals her true form as a doppelganger. And then proceeds to kill the both poorly role-played and even more poorly crafted hungry ghost monk Orc. Before the party eventually handles her with ease. The man is dead. The doctor is dead. And the shitty orc is dead. They start to look around and...

Here's a good orc, damn it! You speak what's spoken to. They look around the room and they find a now cold boiler. It looks like they can climb inside of it and possibly out and up from the dungeon. One of them goes in and all of a sudden a hand grabs their ankle.

It's a rat folk buried amid the ashes who also has no recollection of who or where he is. They find armor and weapons nearby that they think are theirs. One of them, a rather mad scientist, finds a formula book that he thinks he feels certain belongs to him. He looks inside and sees the name Sheila. So he assumes that's his name. He then goes on to name the rest of the crew. Brett Ratner, the rat folk. Mrs. Old Lady.

The old lady. And of course, the man whose name I don't know. For the other guy. They all climb into the boiler up and out into another room. It's dark, but as Sheila casts light on the boiler,

he notices a weird glow underneath it. They go to investigate and multiple creatures rush out to attack. Roll for initiative. Oh, let's do it! Let's do it! And multiple creatures rush out to attack. Roll for initiative. Oh, let's do it! Let's do it! Let's just jump right in. We're at PAX Unplugged. Let's roll for initiative.

All right, let's start with presumably the worst joke. Sixteen. Oh! Let me see you die. presumably the worst joke? 16. Oh. Let me see her die. What about Mrs. Old Lady? 12. 12 for Mrs. O. The man whose name I don't know.

Five. Five. And Sheila? That's 16. Also. 16 also. Brett Ratner, what is your initiative bonus that's 16. Also. 16 also. Brett Ratner, what is your initiative bonus? Plus seven.

Oh. Oh. And plus six. Oh. Close but no cigar. How pathetically slow. Uh. All right.

Rushing out from underneath the boiler are not one, but two dire rats. Oh, no. And then some other really strange creature that Sheila saw with glowing eyes and writhing tentacles coming out of its mouth. It kind of looks like some sort of rat slash octopus face. Okay. And kind of looks like some sort of rat slash octopus face.

Okay. And all of them go first. Oh my god. Let me just see if I got my knee on. Great! Alright. Let's start with, we'll call him Dire Rat number one.

He had to move up so all he can do is a bite on Brett Ratner. That's going to be a 21 to hit, Brett. Yeah, that'll do. You sure? Yeah, positive. A couple things are going to happen, Brett. First, you're going to take one point of damage.

Oh, please. That's only a ninth of your hit points. You're fine. You're fine. You're fine. You're fine. You're fine. I'm fine. Ta-da! Go ahead and roll

a fortitude save. All right. Here we go. Come on. Come on, baby. 14. Everything seems okay. All right.

Okay. You're probably totally fine Probably totally fine I mean unless it has an onset of 1d3 days You're probably totally fine Okay Noted The other one goes up to attack the man

Whose name I don't know 16 to hit That my friend is a hit You take 4 points of damage And I also need you to roll a fortitude set A 13? I guess we'll find out in 1d3 days Now this awful, awful creature that Sheila saw

Comes flying out And goes to bite you, Sheila. That's going to be a 10. That's a hit, sorry. There's no way a 10 is a hit. No, that's a hit, yes. Really? Oh, wait, wait, sorry.

You have a plus six in your shirt. Are you just wearing a one-cloth? No, no, wait, it's not a hit. It's not a hit. Not a hit. I'm sorry. Wait, sorry. You have a plus six in the audience.

Are you just wearing a one-cloth? No, no, wait. It's not a hit. It's not a hit. Not a hit. I'm sorry. I was looking up what alchemists are. Sorry. I thought you said you were looking on Zillow, like for a house.

I was just looking for a condo. Yeah. I like the city. I'd be happy to live here. Thank you, Skid. Thank you. Yeah. Forgive me for doing a little due diligence

while I sit here waiting. It's almost like we play this game professionally. Right. Almost. Almost. Brett Ratner, the floor is yours. All right. Brett, seeing this thing come up at him, is going to go on gut instinct, doesn't know where it comes from.

Okay. He begins this incantation. No, he's not going to do that. No, you can do it. Goddamn casting defensively. He's going to take a five-foot step back. Okay. Away from this thing.

Right. Skittle out of the way. And then... Just hiding. He's going to... I need the man whose name I don't know. He's going to cast Mage Armor. Okay.

So he casts a spell to make himself more defensive. A magical shield goes around him. I would say if there was a Vegas betting pool of things you would do, the easy money was on you casting some sort of protection defensive spell. Well, I mean, it only makes sense. I just wanted to let you know. Oh, by the way, hold on. I have an actual question.

I have a crossbow. Okay. Would we assume that that was in my hand as we climbed up the thing and then walked into this room? Or is it? Yeah, I mean, it's pretty easy to climb up a boiler with a loaded crossbow in your hand. Right by your eye. Right. It doesn't go off.

No, I'm sorry. No. Sheila. So, Sheila, seeing this, having gotten a little bit of advance notice on what was happening, takes a five-foot step back. Okay. And he reaches onto his pouch. His alchemist belt draws one of his little bombs that he likes making so well.

Yep. Yes. And tosses it here, behind these two creatures. Oh, I thought you were going to throw it right at Mrs. O'Lady. No. As much as I want to. So did I. And so that has hit a random square.

Yeah, AC5. Okay, so he hits it. And so each of these creatures take minimum bomb damage, which would be five. Now, let me ask you this. Do they get any sort of reflex save? Oh, yes. It's a DC-14 reflex save. They've got a decent little reflex.

That one failed. Yeah. And that one passed. Okay. So what is it, half damage for the one that passed? Yes. The other one is dead. Yeah!

Oh, nice! Badass. Hurrah! Not bad, Sheila, not bad. Like you might. Next up is the venerable Mrs. O'Lady. Mrs. O'Lady is going to take a five-foot step, and in doing so, as a swift action,

will draw a sword from her cane and try to stab this creature. Mrs. O'Lady, I need you to do me a favor and roll a perception check. Okay. That would be a 21. 21. Get that roll out of the way.

Behind you, inside of the boiler you just climbed up, you hear something scuttling up behind you. Oh, come on. That's what you hear. It's just like... coming up. From? Behind you, behind that little gate that you just came into the room.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like there's where the door is coming up and out right behind you. Okay. Mrs. O'Liddy will hold fast to her intention and stab with her sword cane at this thing. At this thing. Natty 19. Yeah! There you go.

Is that a crit? So that is not a crit. However, that is an 18 hit. You have a minus one. 18? Yes. Perfect position with no strength behind it. That is a hit.

That's a hit. Excellent. Max damage, five damage. Whoa! Nice job. This is a lady. This is a lady. Very impressive. I! This is so lazy. This is so lazy. Very impressive.

I thought you'd like that. Okay. Okay. Grant, stop looking at my computer. It's really awesome sitting here. I saw all the jokes before they happened. It was great. Damn it!

It's your turn! Now, the question is, Troy, two questions for you. Yes, no, and maybe. Okay, misread my AC. Can I have my hit points back? Yes. All right, thank you. Second question.

Wait, I'm not even kidding. I said yes, but I didn't listen to what you said. Perfect. I have my hit points back. I just was like, yes, and it just... Now, no crossbow out. Can I have my shield out and now draw my kukri? Sure. I can imagine as Sheila

was going over to look at the boiler, you were just like, I'll raise my shield just to be safe. Alright. It's a pretty dangerous place so far. I'll allow it. Alright. If I had a shield, I'd have it out. Excellent. I'm going to... I think I can shield bash now. I believe I can.

You want to shield bash? Yeah, I'm going to shield bash. Okay. Just out of terror and fear. Just... Look at the dice. Oh! Natural 20. Oh!

I really like this die a rat, too. All right, roll to confirm. All right. This ain't the play test. 18 on the die. Hold on. Get out of here. That's confirmed, Britt, and it's dead.

I'm sure it's dead. I'm sure it's dead. All right. It already took splash, Dorex. Yeah. Fire damage, and then you just smush it right into the ground. From behind you, Mrs. Old Lady, a gnome pops out of the boiler. Oh, gnome.

Gnome. Gnome. Gnome. Eric, what does this gnome look like? The gnome. Yeah! The gnome that comes out of the boiler is three and a half feet tall. He's got hair like a candle flame of orange, red, and yellow

He's wearing a multicolored sort of streamer-like garment That looks like a jester's garment Or like an entertainer, dancer sort of a uniform But that's not the weirdest thing about this gnome What's the weirdest thing about this gnome? Thank you, Matthew The weirdest thing about this gnome Is that his hands

And his forearms All the way up over his elbows Are covered in fresh Dripping Blood Bright red blood Brighter even than the red in his hair And he comes out of the boiler

And he looks at you, and he takes stock at you. Really quickly, like, almost as if he's afraid, he says, I am not your enemy! Sense motive? Natural 20! You think he's telling the truth. In fact, I don't know who I am.

Where are we? Well, mate, there's a lot of that going around these days, it seems. None of us knew our names or much of our past either, so I went ahead and gave little nicknames to keep everything clear. And you, I think I'll call you Tiny Murder Clown. You're the Tiny Murder Clown.

I love it! Pleasure to meet you. My name is Sheila, a name of which I'm fairly confident is the actual name. Sheila, okay. This is the fellow who I don't know who he is. That's not my name. Oh, no, yeah.

Then that over there, that's Mrs. O'Lady. May I remind you that we're still in combat. It's really more than six seconds. This is taking quite a while. And that man there, that's and that over there, that's Brett Reitner. Oh, pleased to make your acquaintance, he says

and he doffs his non-cap and a bunch of blood sort of sprays off of his hand. Fresh blood. Perhaps you'd like to join us in killing this last enemy. Killing's what I do best. I'm not surprised in the least. So, Eric, your gnome comes out.

You still have a standard action. Oh, is that my gnome right there next to that creature? Yes, on my screen it says tiny murder clown. I would like to attack the creature with a flurry of blows. I take my blood-soaked fists and I punch and I punch and I pooch. And I get a 14 and a 17. That's two hits. See, Joe, that's how a monk is supposed to be. I'm a little gnome.

Saw that coming. I was just waiting. I only did nine points of damage. How many nine points total? Yes. All right. Still kicking. Oh.

Oh. That's all I can do. And now it is its turn. Should it go after Mrs. Old Lady? Or should it go after Tiny Murder Clown? I'm going to go after Tiny Murder Clown. Oh, no. With a claw claw bite.

Oh, no. First the bite, 22 to hit. That will hit. That is going to be one point of damage. But you begin bleeding as well on your turn. First claw is going to be an 18 to hit. That will also hit. I'm not wearing any armor.

And another 18 to hit. So both claws hit as well for two points of damage and another two points of damage. Four points of damage. Thanks for having me on the show, Troy. No, no, no. I'm still fine. I'm still fine. Still up?

Still up? Oh, very much so. You'd have to be a fool to die in your first attack. Ha ha! Ha ha! Hee hee hee! Woo hoo hoo! Laugh it up, Mona.

That's what I do second best. It is now Brett Ratner's turn. Remind us what first best was? Murder! Seeing as he's got this holstered crossbow, he's gonna fuddle around in his scrappings

and try to pull out a crossbow and then slide a crossbow bolt into the chamber, click it in and pull it back. That's gonna take his whole turn. Unfortunately. Thrilling as always. This is first edition, so that's it. Alright, Sheila. That's going to take his whole turn Thrilling as always First edition That's it Sheila

Sheila is Going Seeing that there is a lot of He's going to throw another bomb Were you going to say traffic? A lot of traffic around there? Yeah, he's going to toss a bomb behind The guy there behind the guy there

behind the rats. Okay. Oh, no! Yes, hits the square. Fuck. And that is a DC 14 reflex save. All right. For half damage.

I failed the reflex save. Okay, that's five damage. And it's dead. Yeah! Yeah! Neelo! Nicely done. It is dead.

Yeah Yeah Sheila Nicely done It is dead So now you're in this boiler room Brettner Abner The man whose name I don't know Sheila

Mrs. O'Lady And now This tiny murder clown Comes up out of the boiler Says He is not your enemy And we believe him And you believe him

What do you do? Am I still bleeding? You can probably, you can roll a heal check to see if you stanched the bleeding. Oh, okay. I probably didn't do it. Eleven.

Take one point of bleed and then assuming they'll probably heal you up in a second. Not heal you, but at least stop your bleeding. Oh, I've got a lot of blood on me and some of it's mine. Anything you guys could do to help? Oh! Oh! I love it. Please, my terrifying tiny friend,

allow me to heal you. I'm not terrified. I'm smiling. You're very scary. And that man whose name I don't know will use a blessing to empower his healing, increasing the healing by 50%. Ooh. Let's see. This is your third healing of the day, yes? The second one was a joke on the screen.

Oh, I see. Okay. So I had Bless prepared. I'm expelling Bless. I'm out of spells. Out of spells. Yep. Okay.

You don't need spells. Six points of healing. Oh, I'm not only not your enemy. I'm out of spells. Out of spells. Okay. You don't need spells. Six points of healing. Oh, I'm not only not your enemy, I'm your great friend. Your great friend. I think I may have made a terrible mistake. No, no, no. You guys. I don't know who I am, but I do know something. What's that?

There are dangerous creatures in this dungeon. He's right. There is ample evidence for that conclusion, yes. On that note, can Mrs. O'Lady examine the body of the not-Diorat creature? Sure. Now, how do knowledge checks work in this game, Troy?

Well, you roll it, and I'll tell you what happens. This would be a knowledge arcana. So even though I have no memory of myself, I may still have memory of other things Yes Don't overthink it I think it acts kind of like amnesia

On Gilligan's Island You get hit by a coconut You can still remember how to drive a car made out of bamboo But you don't know who the skipper is Until you get hit by a coconut a second time And then all your memories come back Great, well I rolled a 19, knowledge arcana 19 but you don't know who the skipper is. Until you get hit by a coconut a second time. Right. And then all your memories come back.

Great. Well, I rolled a 19. I was our canon. 19. So this skittish amalgam of beast parts with luminous eyes now gone dark, a rat's tail, simian appendages, and tendrils extending from its mole-like nose is known as a zoog. A zoog. with simian appendages and tendrils extending from its mole-like nose,

is known as a zoog. A zoog? Yes, it's a tiny, magical beast. Now, I would say to you, you would think it has no earthly reason for being in this place, but you don't know what this place is. But why would there be a magical creature just lingering around this boiler room? Why indeed. Fraternizing with dire rats?

Things just keep getting weirder. And the dire rats look like normal, standard dire rats. Just your standard gross rats. I have a theory. Would you like to hear it? I would love to hear it. I think it's some kind of tournament. Who is competing? Well, I don't know. I know I'm competing. That's the third thing I do best.

So just to review, one is murder. Yep. Two was what? Audience? Laughter! And three is competing in tournaments. Yes, well, here's what I've learned already. There are many dangerous creatures in this dungeon.

Yes, well, here's what I've learned already. There are many dangerous creatures in this dungeon. When I woke up, I found a freshly slain orc. A full orc, mind you. Not even a half orc. And before his heart had even fully stopped, I reached my hand into his chest cavities, and I stole his key! Oh!

Wow. Very interesting. Yes. I like it. Yes. Because I have a hungry ghost. Nice, nice. He looks like he took himself real seriously, that dead orc.

This is just going to keep coming up. Yep. Yep. Well, during all this, while she's examining the body, the rat currently known as Brett Ratner is, he's blinking and he's confused. He gets hit by this rat. He hears this madman who refers to himself as Sheila refer to him as Brett Ratner.

You all right over there, Brett? He's looking over. And, you know, he says the name, and he looks over at him, and he's blinking, he's looking around, he's confused. He has no idea how he got here, how he got into these surroundings. No memory of this place. What did you call me, Brett? I called you Brett Ratner.

Brett Ratner. Out of convenience. This is not my name. Of course it is not my name, Brett Ratner. No? Where did you come up with such a thing? It came to me as if in a viking dream Well, it's completely wrong Of mediocre cinema and possible sexual misconduct

It is It is in fact a name that Reeks of fraternities and sexual misconduct Yes I hate it, I don't know why it was given to me I refuse to accept it of reeks of fraternities and sexual misconduct. Yes. I hate it. I don't know why it was given to me. I refuse to accept it.

It cannot be my name. But what my name is, I cannot think. I cannot remember. He's going to his head. As he puts his hand to his head, he looks back, and he looks at his hand, and he's startled. He turns it around. He says, what is this?

What foul sorcery is this? Who has done this to me? What is happening? Some sort of vile creature. He's looking at the dire rat. He's thinking this thing bit me. Maybe he turned into a rat. He's completely baffled by what's happening. Panicked eyes looking at all of you. When did I get here? How did I take the form of this hideous creature? You were like that when we found you, mate. Found me where? Down in the boiler room, like in a pile of ashes, where rats tend to congregate. Pile of ashes?

I can certainly tell you I do not congregate with rats. This is most upsetting. Some sort of cruel trick has been played on me, I tell you. They've done something to me. We must find who is behind this. I am not going by that name. I will not. I am not a rat.

I don't know what my name is, but there is a name lingering in the corners of my mind. The dock recesses. It is a name. I don't know if it's my name, but it is James. I don't know why I know that name. No, it's a fine name. But perhaps it is my name. I've never met a rat named James. It's a pleasure to meet you.

Well, you should not have, because there are no rats named James, and I am not a rat. I'm somehow stuck in this body. I'll find a way out if it's the last thing I do. So your assumption is that you were transformed into a rat? My assumption is that some foul or competing magician has taken my mind and placed it into the body of a rat. Did they do the same thing with your accent? Because it was quite different

the first time. I have no memory of what you see. I had 20 minutes to make a character during a show on stage. Once I got an email, a very friendly email,

that said, please stop doing an Australian accent. And I respect that. I respect that. When your mom sends you an email, you have to avoid it.

Exactly. My mom gave it a good shot. She watched a little bit of it and she was like, it's very good. It's like, how much did it, and she was like, it's very good. I was like, how much did you watch? She was like, it's very good. And then your dad was like, he's not good at sports or nerd stuff.

He's like, jocks make fun of him, and nerds make fun of him. Think about it. Do we need to take a break? I need some water What do you guys do? You're obviously still kind of shook by all of this And new people keep emerging Luckily the last two people you've met have been friends James

And now Tidy Murder Clown You're in this room here. You climbed up through the boiler from the dungeon. Into it, there is a door leading out. You're out of spells. The rest of you are in okay shape, right? I mean, what about you, Mrs. Old Lady? Have you burned some spells?

I'm all right for now. You're okay, Mrs. O? Thank you for asking. That's very nice of you, Sonny. This is weird. You're weird. It'll get weirder. I don't doubt it.

What do you guys want to do? The floor is yours. Anything your imagination can come up with. Joe? I can imagine quite a bit. I got nothing. Perhaps we should see what's behind this door There might be some Wow, that just went Australian for a second

There may be some answers that we could find which would give us a clue as to who did this to us You Shaking, fearful, coward Open the door James, I'd like to thank you before I see what's on the other side of that door. For a moment, your freakish visage

distracted me from the murder clown, and I appreciate that. And that man whose name I don't know will wet himself and approach towards the door. In that order. And creak it open very slowly. He creaks open the door to reveal a hallway.

Whoa. Dun, dun, dun. Terrified of hallways. Truly horrified. No, my father was killed by a hallway. You see as you open the door broken lanterns and right across from you a battered door just lining this cold and rubble-strewn hallway.

Do you take a peek outside? I do. Is it dark? It is dark. Do you have the vision of the dark? No, but I have an orison called light, which I cast on my shield. Ah, and let's peek that out. So you get like a little sliver of light cracking down this hallway.

And you look to the south, and you can make out what looks like a pair of swinging doors lying shattered upon a four-foot-high heap of wrecked furniture clogging a broad doorframe. It looks like some sort of makeshift barricade. You look across the hall, and there are two doors to your left as well as a door to your right on either side of the hallway. I'll reveal this in a second. The doors directly across from you, it looks like something has tried to beat its way through the door in the hallway. I'll reveal this in a second. The door's directly across from you. It looks like something has tried to beat its way through the door

in the past, but succeeded only in weakening it as it just stands awkwardly closed on its hinges. Beating its way in. From the other side? Yeah. Beating it, trying to get in or trying to get out? Yeah, trying to get in. Got it. And, you know, it's completely dark, but there does look to be a little bit

of light streaming from behind the barricade. Let's see a little bit more of the map here. What do you tell your friends? It looks like others may have attempted to escape and enter. This is truly a horrible place. No matter which way we go, it seems our fate may be sealed, but it's up to us to choose it. James, what do you say, my rat friend? Let me take a look.

He sneaks up and around the corner, gives a peek to the left and to the right, and sees the same thing. Yeah, sees the same thing. Doors everywhere. I can see it just fine. I would like to examine this pile

This makeshift barricade And he begins slowly walking down His crossbow pointed in front of him And as you start to walk up You hear, whoa there! We got more here! And then you hear the sounds of multiple crossbows Being drawn back

Oh shit Stay back! Stay back! Stay back! Who's speaking up there? Now, it's really dark and there's all this shit in the way and whoever or whatever is on the other side of the barricade is backlit. It's all really disconcerting

but you do see multiple shapes behind this barricade. Who speaks? We are friendlies. A new voice pipes in. I have my crossbow up as well. Stand off. Another voice comes in.

It's like, draw no closer! Turn around and go back from whence you came or we'll put a crossbow bolt through your rotten brain! We truly must leave. This place is quite horrifying. We cannot go back. Please, you must let us... You must let us through.

You must understand. We are not... We are not dangerous. What do you mean, we? How many are you? Damn it! We are five. Four and...

Well, I'm not going to mention the bullshit. He's thinking about the gnome whose hands are covered in blood. He's like, keep him in the room. Keep him in the room. He looks back. Get us some soap. Time to clean his fucking arms. I will not speak again.

Do not try to bend our mind with your poison tongue. Come any closer and you will be killed on the spot. No questions asked. We can't take any chances anymore. He is going to... He's going to raise his crossbow, you know, up. Exactly. He's still kind of holding it in his hand.

Right. But he's going to raise it to the sky. I will not point my weapon at you, my friend, but I really do think you have this all wrong. We have been attacked by magical creatures in this room. There is something infesting this place and we will do you no harm.

Come closer. I will set my weapon down if you will come closer and you can see. I will speak with you. Stay right there. Bring out your compatriots. Let me see these other vile creatures. All three of you come out. I'm busy

picking through the body of the Zoog, like, just with my fingers and rooting around in its belly. So I'm cool not coming out. It's like, oh, a kidney. I've got some key! Bring them out right now.

Mrs. O'Lady. It was not very polite to call me a vile creature, you know. Yeah, she comes around the corner and he's just like, look, she's clearly an old woman. She is walking with a cane. Who are you calling old? All apologies, madame, but all things considered, we're trying to let them know we are not a threat.

Don't over-exaggerate. Be that way. I meant no disrespect. Just talk to them. Okay. Diplomacy check on Mrs. Old Lady. Where's the rest of them? You said there were three, four, how many? No, here, no.

Back, in the back. There's another one in there, but I don't know, he's butchering a rat or something. Hee hee hee! He finds it all very amusing. I don't. Alright, that's three. Where are the rest? Uh, hello, and

I could use a restroom if you have one back there. Could you please let us in? You stay right there. Keep your hands up. We are quite literally the least scary four people you could possibly imagine. Oh, yes, very clever. How do I know you're not one of them? Who do you mean by one of them?

A creature, some sort of what? Oh, you're very clever. Oh, you're very clever. I see how this works. You know what you are. Shape-shifters. No, no, no. Not at all. Oh, we saw one of them.

No, downstairs in the other room. Oh, I bet you saw one of them when you look at the mirror. No, I don't know. I don't know. Do you think I'd stick myself with this shape if I had a choice? I'm a terribly odd-looking person. We have been fooled before.

We will not be fooled again. This place is overrun with lunatics. Now let's think about... Hee hee hee! What was that? Just the wind. Let's think about this logically.

It's true. We could be shapeshifters. We don't know for sure. But, but, if we were shapeshifters, would we not shapeshift into something that could dislodge this barrier and murder you all right now? Oh, nice try. There's plenty of us back here. We can handle all of you. You could be one of them. You especially. We've been fooled before.

Me? Yes. Show yourself! Hi. Can I roll diplomacy on these guys yeah roll diplomacy roll bluff I will roll bluff actually 16 on bluff 16

alright well prove you're not shapeshifters how could I do that? Hold on. And you just hear, like, whispering. I'm amenable to whatever. I said hold on!

Okay. And you just hear, like, in all these voices, just whispering. And James is kind of freaking out a little bit because he's like, am I... He knows he's not in his own body. So he's like, am I a shapeshifter? Exactly, but he's like, am I... He knows he's not in his own body. So he's like... Maybe you are.

Am I a shapeshifter? Exactly. But he's like, I'm not going to get killed by a bunch of... Get peppered with crossbow bolts. He's got to try to come up with some reason. All right. This is how. Bring back a few dead doppelgangers.

And then maybe we'll rethink whose side you're on. As if we don't already know and not just one or two, right? Three! Three bodies and don't try to trick us I know we've hit a few of you already don't come back with ones that we've already killed I'm sorry but this strikes me as a very arbitrary standard of proof

That's something one of them would say! Oh, right. Sorry. You bring back any bodies with a single crossbow hole in them and I'll know you're one of them. Because those are our kills. Three fresh doppelganger corpses.

One of us has a crossbow. Would you mind providing us with an alternate weapon for him? For the record, I do have a crossbow. It's really all I can do. I'm a level one wizard. Hold on. Tough shit.

You can't use it. Better find another way. James turns around and misses old lady. We're getting nowhere with him. I guess we better go kill some doppelgangers You sound almost as if you're delighting in that I mean, I might be one It might be terrifying I might be one as well

Don't tell them, though Deal Fist bump A rotten old lady fist bumping an insane asylum. That's the least weird thing I've seen today. Welcome to Pathfinder. All right. Where do you think we would...

Where's the doppelganger hunting best this time of year? Oh, you know where they are You're probably one of them You are, sir Extremely paranoid, my friend You would be too if you've seen what we've seen What have you seen? Oh, you know what we've seen

Go up north Head up to the north side of this hallway There are doors everywhere They're all over this place. You'll find them. You'll find them. One crossbow hole. And we'll put one in you.

Sorry, I didn't catch your name, sir. As if you didn't know. These fucking guys. He just literally prepared no answers to any questions. This prep must be a breeze. It's so funny. That's what it says for tactics. They just keep saying things like, as if you didn't know.

It's funny to keep doing. You find those corpses, I'll introduce myself. But until then, no niceties. Hi. Sheila, what shall we call this man until he identifies himself? So we've got a little thing going here, so I'm going to refer to you as the paranoid man on the other side of the thing. Very descriptive.

All right. Get out of here. Okay. So we could go back downstairs And get that doppelganger that's dead down there It's true That's one It has no crossbow bolts in it

And it has no crossbow bolts in it We're already up one Yeah That's true So the paranoid fell on the other side of the thing It would be alright if we took in Say an eight-hour rest to better prepare ourselves

to complete the arbitrary standards of your test of proof. As far as I'm concerned, you can rest forever. It would be my pleasure if you never returned. Great. Good.

As if you didn't know As if you didn't know It's alright to rest for eight hours As if you didn't know you're allowed to rest Incredibly rude, truly Well why don't we rest, let's rest and then Alright Sheila Back into the boiler room we think

Yes, yeah We know we've cleared it of that rat filth. Yeah. And then the rat walks into the room. And then the filthy rat walks into the room. As you guys walk in, I'm about to step out, and I'm like, do you think it would help if I talked to him? Just turn around. What? Ah!

You're quite horrified by the fire. Yeah, yeah. You, have you always been in this body? Is this your... This is my choice. Like you don't know? I don't know who I am. I know that I collect souls.

What? That's a good one. I would personally like to go to sleep right now next to you. Cuddling is what I do fourth best You should give Tiny Murder Clown The first watch Clown will eat me You want to go back in the boiler room Yes

And rest Yes, I would like to examine the area through which they came See if there's hold in the floor or any such thing That we could patch up Alright, pile back in the boiler room and roll a perception check You roll a perception check You do roll a perception check Natural 20

Natural 2 We'll go with Joe's roll You don't see anything Natural 2. Ooh. We'll go with Joe's role. You don't see anything. No, uh, Mr. Old Lady, what's your dark vision situation? I don't have any, but I'm sorry, James. Thank you so much. You're welcome.

James had cast light. He did? What else did James do? Right? No, I never did such a thing. The man whose name I don't know. Oh, he's got light on his... Oh, yes, yes, he certainly did. All right, so you look under there,

and you see what looks like two unused sun rods beneath the boiler. They're about four feet from the nearest edge, but you'd have to be a small or smaller creature to reach under there. I'm pretty small. Tiny murder clown. Yes?

Would you mind doing us a favor? I will do so with flourish. I get down on my belly and I wiggle like a worm until I can get those sun rods. I think that might be the fifth thing you're best at, wriggling. It's eighth. I'm sorry. Slowly filling in the top ten list. So, you're going to rest. Day one comes to an end. I'm sorry. Slowly filling in the top ten list.

So, you're going to rest. Day one comes to an end. You guys, you know, work out your watch schedule. And you go to bed. I thought you were going to make us do that live, and I was like, that's what they pay their good money to see. Right. Who's got first watch? you're going to make us do that live. And I was like, that's what they pay the good money to see. Right.

Who's got first watch? All of a sudden, Matthew, you're sitting down on the floor. And you're not in the boiler room anymore. Your legs are crossed over each other. And you're either meditating or like chanting under your breath but your eyes are open

and you're sitting across from a mirror just kind of looking at yourself but like you're going in and out so you're not really focusing on your image that you see back but your lips are moving ever so gently.

And all of a sudden, a voice you've never heard before stirs within you. You're shook to your very core, even though you're in this meditative state. And then you finally open your eyes, and the reflection in the mirror you see is yourself sitting on the floor

cross-legged. But the reflection looking back at you is hauntingly different because in the mirror your head is like cocked back all the way. Your mouth is like elongated open.

And a strange mist mixed with sludge is emanating from your mouth up into the sky. That's unusual. Joe, James all of a sudden finds himself sitting outside somewhere at a table, and there are other people sitting at the table with you. They look like they're nobles. They're all dressed in fine clothes.

You look down at yourself. You, too, are dressed in fine clothes. Finally, thank you. There's two men, one woman, and you. And you're all drinking tea. It's very sophisticated. One of the men pipes out. It's like, oh, chap, you must show us one of your tricks.

I was just telling Barnaby that you're the finest illusionist I've ever seen. Please, please show us one of your tricks. And you protest at first, mostly for show, and then you're like, oh, all right. All right. I'll do it. And then with a flourish of your hands, you wave them over the table before hovering over the woman's teacup. And you really make a show of it, and all of a sudden you float a single spoon up into the air.

You just focus on it, and they're all like... But you all of a sudden get lost in the spoon because you see in the reflection of the spoon what looks like a city. of a sudden get lost in the spoon because you see in the reflection of the spoon what looks like a city. And all of a sudden their clapping gets like warped sound as you're just like drawn directly into the spoon. And now you're in the city itself. There are streets going in every direction, tall buildings warped and bent over,

blotting out the sky. As you stand there, very quickly a yellow mist begins to roll in from all sides, quickly surrounding you, erasing the city from your view. You're in shock, looking around at this yellow fog, surrounding you, erasing the city from your view. You're in shock, looking around at this yellow fog, thinking it's now going to envelop you, when all of a sudden it parts.

And a very gaunt figure, covered in tatters around its face and hanging from its body, just stands there across from you. Even though you can't see its eyes, it appears like it's surprised to see you. It, like, cocks its head a little bit and then slowly just, like, floats towards you. Oh, God. Come on, man. And as it's floating towards you,

its hand comes up to, like, caress your face. Come on, dude. And it just looks like this. And you're like, ah! And that's it. Oh, man. Eric, you hear water lapping against wood followed by the undulating feeling of being at sea.

You wake up and you're in the hull of a boat. You're lying on the floor surrounded by other sleeping people. You look down and you see that your hands and feet are shackled. In fact, you quickly realize that you're manacled together with all the other people below deck on this rather large boat. Your chains are long enough, though, to give you freedom to walk about, and you see that there's a periscope towards the corner of the room near you. You amble over to it over the other sleeping people and look through the glass to see that wherever you are, there's no land in sight in any direction. You try to reach for the door, but you realize that your chains are just too short and the doorknob is out of reach.

You go defeated and lay back down. Soon afterwards, the door opens and some creature, naked from the waist up, covered in tattoos, opens the door and hurls a body into the center of the room. He then walks up to it and attaches the body to manacles on both its hands and its feet. And then he leaves, locking the door behind him. Click. You just sit there staring at the body, and then you get up and slowly approach it. It's like

in a fetal position with its back to you. So you just poke it, and it doesn't move. So you poke it a little harder. Still nothing. So you really give a little harder. Still nothing. So you really give it a good poke, and... Your finger goes directly through its back.

And you just, like, immediately pull it out. And then the body rolls over, and you see that it's a corpse. In fact, as you look around, you see that all the other bodies in the room you're chained to aren't sleeping at all, but in fact, fetid corpses in various states of decomposition. Ever so slowly, the corpses begin to bloat around you like water is filling up the hall, hemming you in and pushing up against your skin.

Your screams begin to be muffled by the dead bodies. I don't have a joke for that. Grant, you're standing at the beginning of a long dock leading out to sea. Up ahead, maybe 50, 60 feet away from you is a figure standing at the end of the dock and you feel relief because you recognize this person to be your brother.

You're kind of doing that dream thing where you're walking towards him, but he seems like he's getting farther away as well. And you think he's going to jump off the dock because that's what you did every summer to celebrate the end of school. You went to the dock and you jumped in the water. But he beat you to the end of the dock this time because you couldn't get your boots off as fast. Because you're stupid. Remove boots check is based on intelligence.

As you're stumbling dumbly down the dock, trying to remove your boots as you walk, you look down for a moment as they leave your feet, but then you quickly look up to see your brother scream as green tendrils snap up from the water and tear him down below. Just as you rush to the edge of the water and look down, you just see blackness and get lost in it. Skid, Sheila is in midair, like flying through the sky. In front of you, pushing you in one direction is a massive fire,

like an explosion that's propelling you through the air, like an action movie. But it's all happening in slow motion, and then all of a sudden it really quickly speeds up, and boom, you hit the ground, and you smash your head against a rock. Slowly, you start to regain consciousness, and you realize you're like on the shore of a lake, maybe, or some sort of pool of water. It might even be an ocean. You can taste the blood in your mouth,

so you pull yourself towards the water's edge to take a drink. As you're cleaning out your mouth, you approach the edge of the pool, and you see your reflection in the water, but it's a face that doesn't belong to you. And all of a sudden, the face melts, and you look down at your skin, and your skin is just melting into water as well. Everybody roll a will save.

Oh, yes. will save. Just one, Joe. Let's go with that first roll. Damn it. Eric, let's start with you. Well, I rolled a one. Oh. And I got a five.

Okay, you rolled a natural one Sure did, Troy What about you, Matthew? I too rolled a natural one Oh, no Yes For a total of a four Joseph Natural four

For a total of a six I think I got it I also rolled a natural four Natural four. Oh. For a total of a six. I think I got it. I also rolled a natural four. For a total of a nine. Oh. Eat it, Joe. Skid.

I rolled a natural two. Natural two. The matter is, Mike is done. This is a horror story. The Mike died of dysentery. Alright, so you rolled a natural two. All of you failed your check. Troy, is your heart doing this right now?

Yes! Yes! Troy is your heart doing this right now Yes Yes Two things happen You all wake up And have healed zero points of damage It's too late I already did it on my sheet You should have told me earlier dude

On top of that Eric the tiny murder clown, and Matthew, Mrs. Old Lady, you wake up and you look down and you see visible bite and claw marks all over your arms that weren't there before you went to sleep. So in addition to not healing anything when you wake up, tiny murder clown takes three points of damage, and Mrs Murder Clown takes three points of damage. And Mrs. O'Lady takes two points of damage.

Who the hells was on watch last night? You wouldn't let me do it? I saw nothing, I'm afraid. Let me examine this. He looks at it and rolls a heal check. Fail. Natural three. Most of that is or, you know, rolls a heal check. Fail.

Natural three. Most of that is orc blood, so don't mind that. Sorry, Joe. I know. It's like, I gotta move on. So you rest.

You don't get any healing. And in fact, on top of that, two of you wake up even weaker. You get your spells back. Can I roll a knowledge check on what happened? Sure. Which one? Anyone. Knowledge

arcana? Sure. I'll also do that. Yeah. I'm gonna use a point of inspiration as well. So that is a 27. Ooh. Yeah. I'm going to use a point of inspiration as well. So that is a 27. Ooh, 27. Okay. You start to remember the dream that you had. I don't know if it's something you share with your fellow members, your fellow party members, but you start to remember that dream and other pieces of the dream start to come into view. And you realize that something that happened in that dream is very similar to the first dream that you had before you woke up in the dungeon.

And the dream itself is preventing you from healing. You weren't strong enough to fight the effect of this dream. And on top of that, you were so weak-willed that a part of the dream physically damaged you. But the bite marks is what's interesting to me, that it manifested as bite marks. Both of us, even though our dreams were different, the injuries were the same.

Right. And you remember when you woke up in the dungeon, you had a bloody nose in that first dream, and you woke up and you still had a bloody nose. Right, right, right. So there are remnants of the dream world and the physical world sort of seeping into each other. Do you share your theories?

I share my theories and my dreams. So, quick question. Yes? If your wounds were based off of some sort of a weakness of character, how do you explain mine? This is a place full of mystery. I guess we'll just have to find out. Okay.

Wait. Wait. And he grabs his spell book. And he starts, like, leafing through it. And as you see his spell book, I don't know if any of you have ever, any of your characters have ever seen his spell book. And he starts leafing through it. And as you see his spell book, I don't know if any of your characters have ever seen a spell book before, but it has arcane writing in it, strange symbols telling you how to prepare a given spell.

A spell takes up a page of a spell book. This spell book is entirely different, and it is written with scribbles all over it, like notes all over the margins, pages and pages and pages. It looks like the writings of a madman, right? From afar, that's what it looks like. And he's flipping obsessively through, and he's like, this is ringing a bell. Yes, it's something.

Something. He's flipping back and forth. He doesn't find anything, but you get the sense that he's somehow studied this dark, but you get the sense that he's somehow studied this dark, deep, hidden underworld that is reaching out and touching you, trying to grasp at your mind. I can't find it at the moment, but something tells me there's... The answer is in here somewhere, if I can decipher it. He continues to look through, but he doesn't have anything particular to offer. What is that book?

I know it's my spell book. I know because I know it's my handwriting, but other than that, it seems a bit wild and crazy. Yeah, I've got a formulae book, and it looks quite a bit different than yours does. Mine doesn't look quite so... insane.

Of the two of us, I truly thought I was not the insane one. No, me too. My money was on you all the way, mate. And now, evidence is mounting up that I was wrong. Something tells me that just the horror of this place alone is not the only thing happening here. I know that there is great darkness seeping between all of the things that we consider to be safe and normal in this world. The spaces between this world and the next, perhaps? Yes, yes, the planes.

The dark tapestry. Ooh. The... Yes. Yes, quite. Yeah, no, I've heard of it. Between... Yes. Yes, quite. Yeah. The darkness between the stars, what exists there. Yeah.

Spooky stuff. The thing of nightmares, I dare say. Yeah. I had a nightmare as well. And he explains it, says what it was. Perhaps, Mrs. O'Lady, your... That's Mrs. O'Lady to you. Mrs. O'Lady, your deduction... That's Mrs. O'Lady to you. Mrs. O'Lady, yes.

Your deduction of what happened to you, I think it is quite astute. You are exhibiting quite a bit of intelligence. I think if we all put our heads together, we can figure out what's happening here. I always say, I think I always say, if you just sit down and think it through and... Yeah, something like that. Right, I... I, something like that. Right. I haven't sat down. We're not so great yet on the intelligence part yet,

but we'll get there, I'm sure. Did you just call me stupid? Well, you picked up on that quite well. I believe we... Regardless of what we find to be the secrets holding us here or what is creeping into our minds we have to find some way to

bring these bodies of doppelgangers back to the what seems to be the only sane people in this place. Yeah. So I don't really understand how we're going to do it without killing Eric. I'm no shape changer. So how many hit points

do you have? A lot. Oh. Jason helped me with my character. No, but I mean you didn't heal, right? Oh, yeah. Well, I have nine hit points. Oh, okay. I mean, I have as many as Matthew fully healed.

I have ten fully healed, actually. Oh, sorry. Oh, okay. I mean, I have as many as Matthew. Fully healed. I have ten fully healed, actually. Oh, sorry. All right, cool. I'm sorry. I thought you were down a lot further. I was, but we got healed. I mean, I wouldn't say notice me healing. Me neither, by the way.

A good warrior is a healed warrior. And that man whose name no one knows. It's just in the corner kind of sobbing. And he's whose name no one knows is just in the corner kind of sobbing. And he's like, this is a nightmare in the waking life and the dreaming life. Oh my god, oh my god,

oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Oh, no, no, no, no. It's all right, don't you think? Sheila. Yeah. I'm here. Sheila's here. Don't worry. No need to cry. Sheila, you're the closest

thing to a normal person. And it's entirely... It's a frightening thought, isn't it? But it's true. Yes. Your touch is alluring and comforting. Thank you, Sheila. Well, listen, I know, I think that I may have a thought that may bring you some Sheila. Well, listen, I know, I think that I may have a thought that may bring you some

comfort. Yes. So, so, James, there, James. There is, yes. He mentioned the dark tapestry, and he said that it's like the stuff of nightmares. But, from what I can recall, I think it would

be more aptly described as the place that nightmares come from. Are we going there? I think so. Oh, shit. So buck up. Just chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken steak. Please, really, the man whose name I don't know what it is, you're going to have to pull it together.

You're the only one with a massive sword here. We're going to need you if we're going to take down these doppelgangers. It's a kukri, but I guess it's big for a rat. Excuse me. I am no rat. You are mistaken. And I will prove it soon, but first

we have to get through that barricade. You do walk and talk like a person. You're some sort of rat person. A person rat. Yes, I'm very well aware of how I appear. I'll call you Mad Mouse from now on. Okay. Does anyone need healing?

I'm sorry, I'm done crying. I would be much more effective. I volunteer as tribute. And that man whose name I don't know will use two blessings to heighten both of these heal spells and will be out of spells for the day. Sounds great.

Oh, seven plus one is eight. Twelve points of healing to you. Thanks. I needed three. Oh, great. This little lady, I'm sorry, I'm all out Okay Alright, I'll heal you Eight on the die, so max

Wow I'm feeling great You see, you're really quite capable Don't be so afraid You're going to be fine As long as we're all together, we'll be fine Stiff upper lip and all that, yes. So do you want to go downstairs and pull that doppelganger

Yeah, let's get that doppelganger first. I'm not sure I want you guys to see what I did to that orc. Oh, I'm sure he deserved it. He's a filthy, filthy orc. Would you like to... Do you want to go down first and cover him with a blanket or something? I think that'd probably be best.

Right, fair enough. Do you scuttle down first? Yeah, I'm going to scuttle down first. All right, so you go back downstairs and, you know, you see that same scene. There's still one door down there that you never end up going through, but you do see that the orc has been ravaged. I'm going to try and stuff the candy back into the

pinata, if you know what I mean. You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube. Yeah. I guess I realized that shortly thereafter, and I just kind of stick my head in the boiler and bang the side and be like, it's no use, never mind. Come on down. This is so hideous.

All right, so you grab that corpse, and you just take your time bringing it back up through the boiler, and now you're back where you were. What do you do? Only two more doppelgangers. Should we go check out that other door to see if there are any more doppelgangers Should we go check out that other door To see if there are any other doppelgangers down there? Yeah, I was thinking maybe we should check that other door It's unlocked, right? It's when we checked it before

Because he tried to lock it and he couldn't We have the key to the cells No, I think that door's open, though Yeah, you checked the door And realized it was unlocked and then stupidly was going to lock it. Right. Right, that was that very stupid thing you did.

Remember the real dumb idea you had? Let me tell you about what it is like to play with these guys. You can check that door if you want. Yeah, let's check it. All right. Please allow me to check it. I need to be braver. Be my guest.

All right. Don't worry. I'll be right behind you, mate. Whispering words of encouragement. Talk about something other than dark tapestry, please. All right. All right. Do you know the difference between the spleen and the appendix?

I think one of them processes blood, correct? I don't know but they both taste terrible. It's alright. I'm sure they both taste fine. It's alright. Let's open the door. Can we discuss our dinner plans

later please? Light on the shields. Can we discuss our dinner plans later, please? Light on the shield. Actually, light on the kukri. Okay. And we'll open the door and peek out. Open the door, and you are just smacked in the face by an overwhelming stink. You hear flies buzzing on the other side of the door as well.

You can see across from you and up With the light of your shield There's a broad chute extending diagonally Through one of this cellar's Half-crumbled stone walls Beneath it Lies heaped More than a dozen mutilated

Humanoid bodies Nearby there's also a Flight of rickety wooden steps climbing toward the high ceiling. But, obviously, no one in the room is able to use those stairs. The smell of rot and decay in the room is overwhelming. Let's take a look at the map here, because that's what it looks like.

Oh, God. What? Oh, God. Who publishes. What? Oh, God. Who publishes this garbage? Oh, God. Oh, I'd like to have a word with whoever's responsible for this. It smells like spleen in here. Oh, it's terrible.

And kind of stealing himself against it, the man whose name I don't know will go into the room and look at the stairs. The stairs are too high for me to reach? No, they look pretty unsteady, but they're sturdy enough to climb to a landing. But however you look up and you see that there's a fallen wall blocking the passageway out of the room. Got it. You could climb up, though, and look, but it looks like it's just clogged with rubble. Detect magic in the room.

Just across anything in that big pile of mess. You detect magic, and you don't feel anything. This is where she was throwing away her experiments. I don't know if we should go in any further. Yeah, James almost immediately, like, covers his nose. He's realizing he's hit with this very strong smell and walks away from the room

immediately. You see that the bodies had to have come down the chute and landed on the panel's pile. Down the chute. Oh, it's like a garbage chute. And it's like pyramids up to the chute. Hey, maybe one of them's a doppelganger! And I'm gonna go in and start rooting around through the bodies.

No, this arm's too short. This one's too fleshy colored. Roll a perception check. Fifteen. Fifteen. You notice as you start rooting through the bodies that they're all wearing the same thing. They're all wearing a plain white uniform with buttons on the front. And you didn't obviously fight the doctor that they fought,

the doctor, but it's very similar to the outfit of the doctor that you guys fought, the woman in the other room. Now roll a fortitude save for rooting through dead bodies. Yeah, I sort of thought that was coming A ten I'm sorry, that is a fail It's been a fun guest spot

Alright, you fail And you're rooting through And all of a sudden you have a cut On your arm Probably from the dream bites And some sort of horrible thing gets into your cut. And you're like, that's going to hurt in 1D3 days. That's going to affect my dexterity in 1D3 days.

It's going to be a huge setback for the Dallas show. It's going to be a huge setback for the Dallas show. You get a little sick. You realize, shit, I shouldn't have done this. Maybe I should have put some gloves on. But you're looking around and you're like, I would have to spend 10, 20 minutes looking through here and maybe you'd find something. He hasn't detected any magic on the room,

but you can take the time if you want, but you're worried now about getting more sick. Room's empty, folks. Can I come back out? Come back out. No doppelgangers. Yes, please. Back upstairs. What was the

body that she was vivisecting on the table? It was naked, right? It was a man that was shirtless from the waist up. Obviously shirtless from the waist up. Obviously shirtless from the waist up. He was shirtless from the ankles down. That's slightly reassuring, I suppose, that at least he wasn't...

But his pants didn't match that uniform? No, he looked to be somebody totally different where it's like she was wearing the same outfit as all of these corpses. All right, that's really weird. But now you have one of the three required doppelgangers to perhaps win over whoever is on the other side of that barricade.

So Sheila drags the body across, like out into the hallway, says, don't shoot, don't shoot. Here, we have procured the first of your three required doppelganger bodies. Alright, just leave it there and move along your way.

Alright, will do. But first, I realise that overnight I've forgotten the nickname I gave you, but I thought of a new one. I'm going to call you Crossbow Jackson. Right? So we'll be back with the other two. That's much more clever. No problem, Crossbow

Jackson. Mr. Jackson, we were thinking about going through that door with the battered end. It looks like someone tried to get through. Did you remember hearing that? Do you have any idea what may have done it? As if you didn't know. God damn it, Jackson! Damn it, Jackson! You know very well

what's behind that door, sure? Go out that door if you like. Get some fresh air. I'd love that. We could deal with a bit of fresh air. It is lovely this time of year. Great. I just got out of a room filled with 40 dead bodies.

Well, 41 if you count the orc. I don't. Just stay away from that door right near the barricade. The rest of the hall you can do as you wish. Why? Why stay away from that door? Because I said so! Okay. Sorry I spoke.

We want to go through this door? You've got a door across from you and down, and then it looks like at least one door up the hallway to the left, and then the hallway just continues onward. James, you've got 60 feet of darkvision, right? Yes. So I can show you a little more That room you see that there's at least one other

Door there and then Rubble begins choking the hallway but The hallway continues on As far as you can see there are two doors Up that way up farther I don't know which one to choose Perhaps we should start at the beginning And go in this door begin at the

Beginning yes yeah good plan I will Stand right here Perhaps we should start at the beginning and go in this door. Begin at the beginning, yes. Yeah, good plan. I will stand right here. Let's go. Right here. All right. I like how Grant the coward is always the one that has to... He's facing his fears. He's the bravest of us all.

Best of luck. Also, I think just for the sake of brevity in combat, especially, for short, I will refer to you as Tigwitz. Yes, that feels right. Yeah. Tigwitz. Good. Oh, good.

All clear? Sure. I can't wait to die. Tigwitz. Tigwitz. Tigwitz. Good. Tigwitz. Clear and breach, Tigwitz. Good. Tigwitz.

The clear and breach, Tigwitz. Do I get C4? Set the charges. Set the charges. All right. And Tigwitz, with his lit kukri, will open the door. All right. You open the door, and you see a courtyard.

Oh. Oh, he did say fresh air. He did. Lovely. You can see there are trampled Flower beds like smeared And squashed across The mud in this courtyard On all sides there are stark grey walls

Climbing toward a narrow Gap of sunless Sky Looks like there's a collapsed shed Out there another collapsed wall And a doorway to your left Hmm Thank you

They got it That joke landed Yep Tigwitz is going to avoid entirely the outdoors And attempt the other door That he sees Is he able to open said door? So you go outside?

Outside right here, and then immediately to this square to attempt opening that door. Okay. As you go outside... Oh, boy. Roll a perception check. Not great.

Twelve. Twelve. Well, that's enough to notice that there's like scabby stains in the puddles of mud oh faintly leading from the door to your left that you're going up to like into that room there j Jesus Christ. And also as you step outside, you feel like raindrops hitting you. Oh, no. But you look up and you don't really see, like, storm clouds.

And the rain is, like, burning hot. Oh. Roll a reflex save. Eat. You're okay. But you realize if you stay out here any longer, you're going to have to avoid the rain, or you're going to take damage as the rain burns your skin.

And just like Missy Elliot, I can't stand the rain, and I enter back into the hallway and let everyone know, we can't go out there. We can't go that way. It's impossible. Impossible? Shall we continue further down the hallway? Sheila goes, like, he says,

What do you want about, Mike? And he, like, reaches out his hand out, tries to catch a few raindrops in his hand. Okay. Roll a reflex then. Ooh, that is a 19. All right, so you just, it kind of like brushes against your hand, and you're like, that hurts.

It's burning, scalding rain. Can I see it? It's just hot water? Yeah, it's just like hot water. Oh, wow. Well, that's strange. You know what's stranger? What?

The aeons. Oh! What a beautiful view. Come on. To a cannon. We went an hour and a half without a single pun. That's right. I'm so tired of all these Star Wars.

Can't wait to get out of Africa. Yeah, so you just stick your hand out, and you're like, oh, God, that burns. But you're able to quickly pull your hand back in before you take any damage. Okay. Anybody have Dungeoneering? Yes. All right, roll it. Natural 20. Ooh, yeah, there you Yes. All right, roll it. Natural 20.

Ooh, yeah, there you go. All right. 28. So they're telling you what's going on out there, and you realize that that door leads to whatever is beyond that door is the room above that room with the heaped bodies. Oh. Oh.

the room above that room with the heaped bodies. Oh. And you saw scabby stains in the mud, like bodies were perhaps being dragged into that room. So it stands to reason that there's probably a chute in that room that they're being, that's where they're being

dropped through. But who's doing the dragging there? Who's throwing them down there? When that happened? You don't know. And none of us were wearing the white uniform, right? And it does kind of look like a uniform. It's like a sanitarium attendance, it sounds like.

They were inmates. Like an orderly, maybe. It is pretty believable that we're all in a sanatorium. Yeah. I don't feel perfectly sane. Mrs. O'Lady, so you have some knowledge about these sort of things. What can you tell us about doppelgangers that might be like a piece of useful information? Let me consult the GM.

Roll an knowledge check. All right, I'll throw inspiration on this as well. 18. 18. So you've already seen now what they can do. Joe, what's your roll? A natural fucking four, man.

Is it knowledge arcana? You know what? That's a good question. Yeah. Yeah. God, I'm so good at that. Yep, not today. Not today.

So you've already seen what it can do. Before, its face changed to look like the hungry ghost monk. Remember, it was like, quiet! And its face changed. It looked like a perfect copy of a female doctor. You never thought otherwise until its visage dropped and it became the doppelganger. So you just feel like in a moment anyone among you could be one and you'd never know. And there's no sign, nothing we can look for?

No. Yeah, is there anything like a blood test or something? Like do they bleed normal blood or does their blood look different? I mean, if you just go around stabbing everybody. Yeah, or just doing like a... You'll figure it out. Send it off to the labs. Or just doing like a diabetic stick test or something. Do we know if they could contract a disease by rooting around in dead bodies?

Just asking for a friend. Yeah, you don't know. So, what do we want? Do we want to try to run out into the rain and open that door and go in? On the off chance there's a doppelganger still in there, or do we want to move on to the next door? Yes, that's precisely what we should do.

Great. You go first. That's a foolish idea. I say Tigw should do. Great. You go first. That's a foolish idea. I say Tigwitz goes. Yes. Tigwitz would actually like to take the hallway, James. Okay. After you. And I'm going to cast Mage Armor on myself.

Okay. So Tigwitz is actually going to walk to this other door here and attempt to open it. Okay. I don't want to get caught out in that rain with no healing. All right. Troy, can I catch up with the party? Join them a little bit. I can't move from the guy.

I think you have control over him. Oh, Tiny Murder Clown? Yeah, Tiny Murder Clown. Tiny Murder Clown. Yeah, your name's not coming up. TMC. Run, TMC. Run, TMC, run! Yeah, I'll fix that. Okay, TMC. Run, TMC, run!

Yeah, I'll fix that. Okay, thank you. So you want to check that door. Yes. All right, open it up. Click. It looks like a storage room. It's a pretty small little room.

Supplies crammed onto wall-mounted racks, but they're all, like, broken and just hanging from the wall. And it just reeks of chlorine in there. And there's shelves that are stuffed with shit, broken containers, but it's a real disaster in there. It's the pool guy's shit. Anything look interesting? You feel like if you spent five or ten minutes, you might find something in there. But at first glance, nothing. Shall we take the time?

Let's take ten. Take the time. Take ten. Take the time. All right. You take some time and roll a perception check. Natural 20. Oh!

There you go, dude. You find some stuff in there. All right. After about five minutes, you find a lantern, a hammer, three winter blankets. Ah. And that's it. Lovely. All right.

Solid. Way to build it up, Troy. They all come in handy. We go camping. We come back with the doppelgangers who are like, all right, now. Come back with three winter blankets. We have them. And then we'll know.

Yes. And now that we're further down this hallway, is James's amazing dark vision able to unveil any further down that hallway? That's a good question, Grant. I'll allow it. Thank you. Yeah. You see more rubble sort of chokes the hallway up ahead. Yeah, you see more rubble sort of chokes the hallway up ahead.

And it almost, you would feel like it blocks any further progress, but it turns off to the right about, you know, 20, 30 feet ahead of you. Or even more than that, 5, 10 can't see it, but why would they need to see it? James, let's just check one more door before we attempt to go outside. Yes, let's go. Move hastily. Click. I only have so much time on this spell. All right, you open the door, and it's the same situation in there. Just a bunch of shelves, sinks of chlorine, and stuff everywhere. You might be able to find something in there if you were to root around. Do we know, can doppelgangers shape change into hammers or blankets?

Like Odo? That's primarily what they change into. Oh, no. Kill it. You start stabbing the winter blanket. Yeah, do you want to look around? On to the next, Tigwitz. Let's go maybe up around the corner.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, guys. Those blankets, are they thick enough to protect us against that acid rain? Do you think we could use them as a shield? Oh, that's a great idea. Yeah, maybe. Would they be? Let's take it outside and put our hand outside

with the blanket covering it and see what happens. Okay, are you searching that room at all? Yeah, let's search the room. Okay, just take 20. Well, actually, no, don't. Okay. Are you searching that room at all? Yeah, let's search the room. Okay. Just take 20. Well, actually, no, don't. Okay. All right, we'll take 20. Tigwitz, you go in there and search?

Sure. Okay. So while you're searching, you're like, oh, yeah, there's some stuff in here as well. But underneath the pile, the pile starts to, like, wiggle and move. Oh, no. And a couple creatures come out that Skid might be interested in.

Oh, come on. Oh, no. Because they're two giant centipedes. Oh, come on. It's the first one. It's the first one on the shirt. It's the first one on the list. They come out to attack.

But, Skid, you've got to imagine, they're giant centipedes. They're not like this big. They're just like the size of a dog. That's bad enough. That's plenty bad enough. Roll for initiative. Oh, okay. All right.

Let's get in there. All right, come on. There's got to be a good one in here. Come on. Brett Ratner. Excuse me. That's my old name. James.

Not two shabs. That's a 19. 19 for James. 19 Ratner. Excuse me. That's my old name. James. Not two shabs. That's a 19. 19 for James. 19, yes. Sheila. Sheila? Sheila. Oh, sorry.

21. 21 for Sheila. All right, Mrs. O'Lady. 16. 16. And Tigwitz. Tigwitz also got 21, but shall yield to the mighty Sheila. Shall yield to the

mighty Sheila. Well, Sheila, you're up first. What about Tiny Murder Clown? Oh, I'm sorry. Tiny Murder Clown, I'm so sorry. I got a 7. You're down with Tina. You got a 7? Yes, you in the back. A 7.

Alright, 7 for Tiny Murder Clown. Sheila, you are up. You hear Tigwitz go, Tigwitz, my new best friend! And he runs up. He draws a sickle from his belt. Ooh! And if he can, is there room for him to get into the room?

Yeah, you could. They haven't acted yet, so you can move right past Tigwitz. So he kind of pushes his way past Tigwitz and swings his sickle down at this horrible creature, and that is a nine. Nine, even against flat-footed, is not a hit. nine. Nine, even against flat-footed, is not a hit. As this dog-sized, crawling thing with a bunch of legs just stands right up at you with its sucker

facing your mouth. You scared me, Sheila. Tigwitz. Tigwitz screams. Swings his kookery. Oh, shit. Ten. So sorry.

No Tigwitz. James and the giant peach. James. Assuming, yeah, he's got his crossbow out. He's going to shoot it at the... The door's open, right? The door is open, yeah. Shoot it right through there.

Might get a little bonus, but they're flat-footed, so. Okay. Come on, come on, come on. 13? 13, flat-footed. Yeah, that'll hit. Yeah! All right.

There we go. James? Six! Six! Six damage! You kill one of the centipedes. Nice job. Yes!

Shoot straight through it. Huge thank you, by the way, to Norse Foundry, who gave me these aluminum dice. They're awesome. Like heavy, but not too heavy, and a natural six. Nice. Well done. Thank you. You earned it, Joe.

Things are looking up. Things are looking up. Everything's coming up, Milhouse. It is now the centipede's turn. Skid, it's going to go after you. Oh, no, it isn't. It just kind of reaches up and goes to, like... What?

Yeah. Yeah, I took it. Minus four, yeah. I did. Ah, natural 20. No. Oh. That's a miss.

No. That's a miss. Natural 20 with the bite. Oh, it was sitting on a 20 to confirm, but it is not confirmed. Okay. It is a hit, however. It's going to be four points of damage. But now I need you to roll a Fortitude.

Oh, come on. Come on, Sheila. Oh, 13. You're all right. You're all right. You're all right. It is Mrs. O'Lady's turn. Mrs. O'Lady is going to step into the room, swift action,

pull out her sword from her sword cane, and stab at the other sentry. I'm going to stand up. That's where I'm standing. Natural one. Mrs. O'Lady. Mrs. O'Lady. Mrs. O'Lady.

Say it's not true. It's true, unfortunately. So sorry, Mrs. O'Lady. Terrible tragedy. It is Tiny Murder Clown's turn. Not a lot of room there, Murder Clown. Yeah, can I not get in that half square on the top? You know what?

You're a gnome. I'll allow it. All right. So then I move 30 feet to get just north of Mrs. Old Lady. Okay. And I see what a struggle. Give him a tiny motor car. I see what a struggle that Sheila in particular is having with this terrifying centipede.

And in order to cheer up the room as I make my attacks, I sing a little song as I recall the Hungry Ghost song. Would you like to hear it? Oh, yes. Oh, yes, please. Would you like to hear it? Hey, Skid, would you like to hear it? Oh, yes. Oh, yes, please. Would you like to hear it? Hey, Skid, would you like to hear it?

I would love to hear this more than anything in the world. If I could put souls in a bottle, the first thing that I'd like to do is to put my fist in the gist of your identity just to steal it from you. I'm going to throw up.

And then I punch. Get it! The song's better than the attack. I got a 10. A 10? Yeah. I'm so sorry. How about a plus four for the song?

It was actually a minus four. Oh. It's funny. Like, the lyrics don't bother me at all, but the tune makes me physically nauseous. Okay. I hate... That's cool. I got one based on Cats in the Cradle for the next round.

Well, it's Sheila's turn, and you could attack Tiny Murder Clown. No, but Sheila's fine with that. But Skid is not. Uh-oh. No, but Sheila's fine with that. But Skate is not. So Sheila is going to take another swing with the old sickle and miss. Miss with the sickle. Tigwitz! Come on, Tigwitz!

Ooh, there you go. That is a critical threat. To confirm. 17 on the die confirmed. That thing only rolls 17 and higher That's the best I'll let you know where to get it later When you want to kill Joe again

Just give me the damage It's dead you killed the set of people Cut its head off Dead Dunzoni Not bad Alright now with the threat alleviated, you go and you search, and you find more stuff in there.

You find 10 feet of chain, a set of manacles, two more winter blankets, and a tarnished old silver necklace. Ooh. Is it magical? It is not. See how I got you to tell me that? I know, I know. I thought about it.

Hello, this is Captain Madden. And you, a movie comes up. Level up. Yes. No idea what that was. Can I examine the necklace? Sure. I examine the necklace.

It's a tarnished old silver necklace. I have a, sorry Mrs. O'Lady, I'm sorry for assuming that you're married by the way, originally. What a name to you. Can I, I have a rather high appraise skill, so perhaps I could appraise it to see what it's worth.

Eleven. It's worth about five gold pieces. Pocket that for lighter. Good for a few beers down at the old pub. All right, so you feel like you've cleared out both of these storage rooms. Nothing really of interest in there. Obviously, these centipedes were just rooting about through the damage. And you do see a lot of damage in the hallway and to these rooms,

but you don't know what could have caused it. There's no, like, obviously you saw the door that's punched in, so there's some element of struggle and whatnot. But, like, why are these hallways and rooms collapsed? It doesn't quite make sense. What do you want to do now? Well, let's take these blankets down to the rain and see if they can protect us enough to get into the other

room. I think that's the best course of action. And if they don't, we'll go check what's around the corner. Okay. Moving right along, you know, you put the blankets on and you're like, yeah, if I move pretty quickly, I can get into that room. So who does it? Tigwitz? Happy to do so.

Alright, you go in there and sure enough, you see there's a room with just an open chute going down, and the chute is lined with blood and, like, leftover entrails. Awful. I'll do quick perception around the room for anything unusual. 11. Yeah. I mean, it's certainly an unusual room, but...

Is there anything unusual in here? Just a routine horrifying body shoot. Just looking for something usual. I'm going to jump down the chute. Tigwitz is going to go outside now with his blanket and see how far he can get around this corner and try to see the outside a little bit more. Okay, and you still

have light cast on your shield. Yeah, you see that to the north a rock wall has collapsed, clogging the north. There's no way you could get over it, as far as you can tell. And it's just, is it nighttime, or it's just? It's just this, like, sunless gray sky. But because the walls.

So it's overcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And you see everything's crumbled over. Weird. It's gross. Tigwitz is going to take a lap around to the bottom part of the outside, too, to see if there's any way to escape, maybe.

I don't know. Yeah, roll a perception. Okay. 17 on the die, 20. No, you see that, like, to the southeast, there's a shed-like structure that collapsed as well. It's not on the map. And you think that, like, there might have been something here,

but, like, you can't even root through it at this point. So it's just a big old mess, but it doesn't look like there's anything else of interest in there besides those dragging bodies. After this far outside, Tickwood's bravery is fleeing from him, and he comes back and reports his findings to the group. Tickwood, get back in here. Those winter blankets can only protect you for so long.

Here you are. And you see the blankets are covered in holes from taking fire damage. They're like steaming. Yeah. So cool. Right, so up around the corner, yes? Yeah.

All right, so you move forward up the hallway. All of you moving along at the same time? Yep. All right. Let me reveal. Thank you. James will stop Tigwitz and say, hold a moment. Let me take a look. And he just sort of peeks around the corner with his dark vision, not fully exposing himself,

just looking around to see what he sees. So you see up ahead that the walls between the hall up ahead and what looks like it might have been an office here to the right have collapsed for the most part, exposing debris-covered desks, toppled lockers, and, of course, several bodies, most of which look human, piled together near a door. Oh, God.

Whoa. Oh. In that foul stench, I would imagine. They're pretty fresh. It's pretty stinky. No, you can get in the door. You know, you might have to kick a couple of the bodies to the side,

but it looks like most of the furniture and the supplies in the room have been completely destroyed, again, by whatever is causing the destruction in this edifice. There might be a desk or two still intact, but more importantly, it's just bodies. Cover your nose. He continues to move up.

Don't let it get in your cuts. Tigwids, come up here. Come up here. Okay. Which way are we going? Towards the door or not? I had really told her to run through these bodies, but I can't if we have to.

Pull yourself together, Matt. James is now looking this way on the map across. Can he see any deeper? Is that just a wall right now? That's just a wall. Oh, it's just a wall? Okay. Yeah.

I'll reveal it a little more here. So the door is the only path that we can see out of this area. Yeah. You're up there, James, or is Tigwitz up there? Tigwitz, I believe. Tigwitz, roll a perception check. Stay. Keep my distance. Ooh, not good. Seven. Seven.

Yeah, you do notice that three of the bodies, at least, appear to be doppelgangers. Oh! But they're all riddled with crossbow bolts. See? That's how they get you. So... It was a rigged game.

Yeah, the game was rigged. It would seem that Crossbow Jackson and his men may have had an earlier battle around this area, retreated from there back to where they are now. James, roll a perception check. Come on. I just granted that. You granted that die. Come on, come on. Natural four. Come on. You jowed that. You granted that die. Come on, come on.

Natural four. Come on. You jowed that die. Thank you, jerk. You granted one and jowed the other one. Yeah. For a total of four. For a total of four.

Yes. You have a plus zero perception. Actually, I have a plus one. Five. Yeah, you just see these creatures with the overly long limbs, the stretched out noseless faces, the dead eyes. So creepy. They've just got holes all over their body and still broken bolts sticking

out. Right. Can I listen at the door? Sure. 22. 22. So you go to listen at the door and you just hear a voice from behind you in the pile of corpses. What?

And it's like, help me. Help me. Help him, help him. You help him. I don't know what's in there. James, take a step back. Point the crossbow at the pile. Point the crossbow at the pile, and you see where the voice is coming from.

There's like a grandmotherly old nurse in a nurse's uniform laying there, and she has like corpses laying on top of her, and her leg is completely destroyed, like a wall fell on it. It's like basically just hanging from the bone from her knee down. Like you're not a doctor but you think it probably needs to be amputated. And she's just like, help

me. Mrs. O'Lady, be careful. We don't know what sort of shape they could take. Yeah, can I do a sense motive? Sure. Keep a crossbow trained at it. Nine. Yeah, I mean she looks like she's in pretty bad shape. Does she look like she has any key?

Yes, she's loaded with a key. Always good to check before. Please, do you have any water? Shoot her! I'm already very hurt Mrs. O'Lady will suggest to the others That we pull her out And maybe we get the manacles ready

Be careful Alright so you pull her out Ever so gingerly because she's just like Aching along the way as you pull out And you see now her leg is just like Sinews and chunks. It's like when they attacked, I ran,

but the foundation shook, and this wall collapsed on me. Please, please be gentle. You can lean me against this wall. Do you lean her against the wall? Uh, sure. Okay, so you kind of like put her there. She's like, how's my leg look? Am I going to be okay?

Am I going to walk again? We'll go looking for it and let you know. Will I dance at my daughter's wedding? Will I be able to dance at my daughter's wedding? It's the one thing I told her before I went to work. I can't wait to dance at your wedding. You can do anything you dance at your wedding. You can do anything you put your mind to.

What happened? What were you attacked by? I'm not quite sure. There's so many shapes moving about. These creatures here, I did see some of them, but when I ran, I'm not strong. The foundation shook,

and I fell. This might seem like an odd question, but what is this place exactly? I don't know. It's some sort of... asylum. Everything's... everything's hazy. Do you work here? I believe I do. Do you know your name?

No. No, I don't. Don't worry. I've got you covered. You're in good hands. From now on, we will call you Mrs. O'Lady Jr. A lovely name. Why are you here? Where are you from?

I don't know. Well, about that. Downstairs, and then before that is sort of a mystery. Yes, it's a bit vague for us as well. Much mystery is happening here. Perhaps, could you use the wall as a brace, and can we get her back to the rubble? Perhaps they will look after her.

They might recognize her, those behind the barricade. Oh, good idea. I'm pretty sure at least some of us were inmates. I pointed his journal. You don't look at my journal! Tucks it behind. Make no mention of it. Yeah, can we try to drag her back to the...

Drag her? Screaming. You go to pick her up to the... Drag her? I'm screaming. You go to pick her up. She's like, please, please, no, my life, please. Please, I just need to sit here. I just need to sit here for maybe a couple of days. Do you have any food? Water? Do we

have any food? No, you must move. We must get her out of here. Let's go. I can stay here for now. If you promise to come back, leave me some water and bring rations if you can find some. Right. Well, if you insist on sitting on the pile of corpses... No, not on the corpses. I'll sit here on the wall.

Here, look. There's an old lady. I'll move her here. Oh, I love your gown. It's really fabulous. Thank you. I'm going to wear it to my daughter's wedding. Is it clean from the knee down? I promised her it would be clean from the knee down.

So when I listened at the door, right, did I hear anything? Just the old lady said... You listen at the door, you don't hear anything. Can I check it for traps. Sure. Uh, that's a 25. Doesn't appear to be trapped. Uh, I will stealthily open the door. Stealthily

open the door to reveal a ruined hall. Uh, most of the area, uh, like everything you've seen, clogging, uhging the hallway below it has collapsed into a heap now that you're out there you hear like the occasional pebble

just clink clink clink like the mound hasn't completely settled yet and you also feel like more rubble could collapse it at any moment you see across from you surviving doors leading off the hall to the west that look like they could be opened with a minor

bit of effort because some of it is blocked. But you could get over there and open the door. Minor effort is my specialty. And also you notice that the hallway opens up to the north. that is what you see.

Shall we proceed? Promise you'll come back. Could I do a knowledge engineering just to see this structurally, if it seems like something might come down on us every minute if we walk in there? Seven. Seven. It looks totally in there. Seven. Seven. It looks totally safe. All right. It won't come down anytime soon.

You're fine, Tigwitz. Thank you. Advance with caution. It's that kind of concern which keeps me going. And Tigwitz steps into the hallway. It tries to open this other door right here. Okay, do you still have light on your shield? I got it, baby.

Okay, well, roll a perception check. Natural effing two. Oh, come on, man. Five total. Five total. Well, as you're scanning around, even with a five, you notice that there's something to the north. Oh, what

is it? Like you're kind of shining the light over on your way to the door. Oh, what is it? Like you're kind of shining the light over on your way to the door and you're like, something's over there, but you don't know what it is. I very fearfully take a step into the north and say, Who's there? Hello? You look up there

and you see more collapsed hallway, completely blocking it and a corpse buried on the ground face down, its bottom half completely covered by rubble. I imagine everyone else being entirely quiet and just like the sound of my heels as they hit the ground as I approach this corpse.

And it's very slowly. And we'll kneel down and look at the corpse. Examine it. So you walk up and kneel down next to the corpse. Sheila, what are you doing? I'm right behind him. Don't worry. It's just a dead body. It can't hurt you. Well,

I mean, there are literally dozens of ways it could, but don't worry about those. James? He's just inside the door. Hasn't even come around to the body yet. Okay. Mrs. Old Lady? Mrs. Old Lady will step up to see what's going on. And Tiny Murder Clown?

I will follow. All right. So Tiny Murder Clown goes up behind Mrs. Old Lady. And as you're all leaving the room, the woman is like, Please, promise you'll return. Promise. James. No.

I said please. James, you kneel down to look at the corpse and you see something moving on it. And all of a sudden, a tiny little diminutive head floats up

and goes to ram itself into you while two disembodied hands start crawling up your body to strangle you. Oh, my God. James, you hear somethingangle you. Oh my God. James, you hear something behind you. I knew it. You look at Mrs. Old Lady 2 standing there.

Oh no. I told you. With no leg beneath her knee smiling at you. Oh my God. And we'll see you in Chicago. Oh no! And we'll see you in Chicago. Oh! Thank you, guys.

Thank you for coming out. Thank you all so much. I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be fine I'm gonna be fine I'm gonna be fine I'm gonna be fine Outro Music