The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 52 – Foam at the Neck Mouth

Episode Date: October 25, 2022

A mysterious new ally joins the heroes as the search for their quarry before the entire city of Sarnath is destroyed! Brooklyn was on fire for a Halloween-themed show with special guest Kate Stamas! Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa and Sydney Amanuel as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/IC0MmspJIt0 Recap 18:10 Gameplay: 25:08 For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Honey, we're home. How we doing, Brooklyn? You filthy fucking unwashed hippies. Let me tell you something. It's always good to come back home to New York, even though most of us have moved away from the city proper. I love New York

City. When I moved here in 2000, I lived on the Upper West Side for many years, and then I moved to Astoria, Queens, where I met these people, and we started this company. And then I left the dog and pony show that is New York to move to Westchester with the nouveau riche. And by nouveau riche, I mean people from the Bronx who won money on scratch tickets. That is all of my neighbors. But in over 20 years of living in New York, there was only one thing that I really hated about New York.

Brooklyn. Brooklyn. Brooklyn is just, it sucks. I hate Brooklyn. There's an enclave of unshampooed weirdos and I don't like it. Anytime I come back here, sometimes I'm like, you know what, I'm kind of psyched to go to the BK. And I get over the bridge and I'm like, I want to go anywhere else in the world. How many people are here tonight just visiting from out of town? Alright. Alright, you're cool. I have no beef

with you. How many people are actually from Brooklyn? Oh yeah, they sound violent, those ones. First of all, thank you for coming out and supporting us tonight. We love you. We love you so much. Also, you're worse than people from Staten Island.

I hate you. I hate you. That's just fundamentally untrue. It's objectively untrue. I know what I said, and I stand by it. It's hot fundamentally untrue. It's objectively untrue. I know what I said, and I stand by it. It's hot in this can. Folks, even though it's not Halloween, we are celebrating tonight.

Is anybody out celebrating? Close enough. Anybody else in costume out there? Let me see. Oh! We should have a little costume parade. You got a rebel fighter there, Matthew. You've got a friend.

You just assume that everyone in the Rebel Alliance are friends? Here we go. How did you read your history? You hear the way he said that he thinks he's actually in the Rebel Alliance. Listen, there are a lot of differences of opinion. There are a lot of philosophies that got cobbled together

to make the alliance to restore the Republic. All right, Joe? I'm sorry I said anything. You just opened a can of nerd worms. Nerd worms! Nerd worms! Folks, we have a very special guest with us this evening. She has been with the network for going on two

years now. Maybe you saw her as Margot Sauer on the smash hit Time for Chaos. We simply refer to her as Your Majesty. Give it up for the queen of New Game Who Dis, Kate Sabus! we simply refer to her as your majesty.

Give it up for the queen of New Game Who Dis, Kate Stavis! Hello! I love you, Brooklyn! You don't smell. You don't smell. We don't smell. Kate, you lived in this horrible borough for so long, and you loved it so much, you're leaving forever on Monday. Listen, that's not the point. That's not the point. You loved it so much you couldn't wait to buy property

as far away as possible. Okay, well, it's a little smelly. You didn't even come in costume. This is just how you look from living out here. I didn't have to buy much for this. I had to only really buy

the wig and this guitar bag. I had all of it already. I dressed like a teenage boy from the 90s or 80s or whatever, I guess. Let me ask you, how many games of Pathfinder 2nd Edition do you think you've played? Hmm. This might be the first. First one. A convert.

We got a convert. You might say I don't know how to play this game. You're right at home. Cool. I put some Sour Patch Kids in my vodka soda, and it's, uh... I thought you were joking about that. Let me tell you, it's a nice little surprise when you get to the end of the drink. Woo!

We're gonna have some fun. Matthew, you live in this dump now, right? How do you like it? We never talk outside of the show. I imagine you just live in that kind of Brooklyn neighborhood. You walk around in a white tank top. Hey, Mr. Capitagool. You want to eat your mother's gravy?

I mean, yeah, that's basically exactly how it is. I imagine you on a Sunday morning with a loaf of bread under your arm, waving at people on porches. No, no, no. A folded newspaper, the other one. How's the schmooly-a-dell, Mrs. Schmooly-a-doo? I did actually get a schmooly-a-dell the other day.

And I walked out in my sandals and black socks. I didn't, but that's what it felt like. Wave to the kids playing stickball. You ready for the kids playing stickball? I ran into their handball game, and I slapped one of them at the wall. I love it here. It's my ancestral homeland. Yeah?

Do you think you'll stay here forever? I mean, I bought property. I've invested for a little while. Oh, yeah. Well, no. Do you get to flip that shit, man? Parlay it. I mean, it is a co-op. I don't think that's really part of the co-op life experience.

I don't know how it works. Busy week for you this week? Too busy to pick a new costume? Oh! Somebody said it! Busy week at the play factory? Listen, I explored other options But ultimately it felt like

I would get to wear my wedding dress again So I was like why only get to wear it one night In my entire life This is your wedding dress Angeline made this beautiful costume Well no actually I did I was like you know what I should put a little effort into this So I ordered new rank insignia so I could play a different character.

An Admiral. Oh, wow. So actually some thought went into this. You aren't the same character. And the shipping got delayed. But it came today, and I was surprised. I was so excited. And I ran downstairs, and I ripped open the package.

And those fools sent me a next-generation Admiral's Rank Insignia. Disgrace. What's the difference? I can't even believe I'm playing a game with you right now. You think anyone would have noticed? Is it that different? Oh, it's so different. Oh, there we go.

It's completely different. The guy's like, what are you talking about? So, yes. Though I'm obviously playing a completely different character. This is a completely different Starfleet captain from the same era. It's the mirror, mirror version of the last captain that you played. Exactly. Yeah.

That's an inside joke. If I'm not mistaken, Matthew sent an email that said something along the lines of, like, I've been slammed. I think I'm just going to Matthew sent an email that said something along the lines of, I've been slammed. I think I'm just going to wear my costume from next year, but I'm going to change the rank insignia. And I looked at that email, and I was just like, did he just write that? Like as if that is anything close to a different costume? I was very angry.

I think Kate said, I'm going to bring two. And I said, all right, Matthew can wear your backup. Yeah, that's true. Kate, do you have a backup ready? I was planning a backup. No, I don't. I'm sorry. I'm very happy in my costume, by the way. You look great.

This character has less hair than the one from last year. No, you're fine. See, that's where you're wrong. This is a separate captain who just happens to have less hair. No, you're fine. See, that's where you're wrong. This is a separate captain who just happens to have less hair. You really immerse yourself in the role.

He's a real pro, man. God damn it, we're pros. Skid, as long as I've known you, you've been a Queens man. You were Long Island City and now Woodside. Do you like Brooklyn? I know you're a man that's known to have strong opinions on things. I don't. I can go either way on basically everything.

Yeah. But no, I actually like Brooklyn. I like Brooklyn. Good job. Yeah, I like Brooklyn. Yeah, we were just here. Samantha, we were here. She's never really been here.

And I was like, oh, this is really nice. There's so many bars and restaurants. Which is, to be fair, way different than where I live in Woodside, where there's one restaurant in about a five square mile radius. I was like, yeah, this is great. But I do prefer living in Queens just because I know all the cops. That's important. I thought you were going to say,

I prefer living in Queens because Spider-Man versus Captain America. And I do actually live within view of Spider-Man's high school from the new Spider-Man movies. Oh, that's fun. It's good to know those cops. Do you have a full house of PBA cards in your wallet from all over?

It was actually funny. I was at my place in Long Island City, and the cops were hassling some guys sitting at a table drinking beers or whatever. And I don't know what the argument was, but they were just like... Maybe that that's illegal? Well, no. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know what's going on. I know the whole story. Who can say, Joe, what's legal and what's not? Yeah, it's all a gray area. But it was just like, hey, I'm being friendly right now, all right? You don't want to see me when I'm not being friendly, okay? And it was like eight cops. And I was just like, man, these guys are in trouble.

So I'm just like, I'm just going to buy my Diet Coke and get the fuck out of here. And one of them mentioned something about Star Trek or Star Wars. One of them said something about Star Wars. And I was just like, oh. And he was just like, what is that new Star Wars movie coming out? And I was like, oh, that's 2015. It's coming out in 2015. He's like, oh, see, this guy knows.

And I started talking to him. And the one cop, he's like, are you a big Star Wars fan? I was like, yeah, I'm a big Star Wars fan. He's like, hey, Henry, show him your fucking collection. And he pulls out his phone, and this guy has the most spectacular collection of Kenner-era Star Wars action figures I've ever seen in my life, and they're all in display cases and everything.

And I'm sitting there, I'm just geeking out about Star Wars with these cops for like 20 minutes. And I leave, and I was just like, all right, check you guys later. He says, hey, may the Force be with you. And I was like, may just like alright check you guys later he says hey may the force be with you and I was like

may the force be with you too it was amazing one of the best nights of my life it was great that's a good cop did I ever tell the story of how I

almost got arrested coming out of work I was bartending is this when you jumped in the East River I mean there's a number of times is this when you when you live in New York River? I mean, there's a number of times. Is this when you... When you live in New York for 20 years,

you have several almost-got-arrested stories. And I was... This is a bartender gets it. I was bartending, actually, at this club called Taj. I hope it burned to the ground. But it was on 32nd and, like, 5th Ave. And I was working, and I got cut early.

And I didn't want to walk through the mass of losers to get to the bathroom but I had to piss and I'm like, I'll just piss on the street. But that street was full of cops

and so I like had to find a place to pee because I knew I couldn't sit on the train long enough so my old thing was like I'd pretend to be on my phone

with my dick out just peeing on the street. Oh, yeah honey, I'm on my way home and just pissing home just pissing so i looked and i saw an empty cop car and i'm just peeing away and the guy was sitting in like a dark cop car and he comes out i'm like i'm so sorry i'm not drunk i literally just had to take a piss i i work right there uh he goes license and i'm like fuck i'm gonna get i'm going

to get arrested i'm gonna spend a night in the tank. And then I'm like, I have PBA cards. And I pulled up and looking through my wallet, and I had old, expired Policeman's Benevolent Association cards. So I took one out, and I'm like, I have the new one, but here's the one from last year. And another guy comes over, takes it, and goes, oh, Officer Steve, I was in the academy with him. Don't worry about it.

Just get the fuck out of here. Have a good night. That's a public urination license you have there in your wallet. That's really what it is. License to kill, license to pee. Joe, you myopic fool. I imagine, like Mr. Magoo, I could drop you in the middle of Brooklyn and it would be like

dropping you in the middle of the Grand Canyon. Do you know anything about this borough? I don't know my way around Brooklyn at all. Every time I came here, I was like, I'm never going to come back, so I don't need to remember anything. Every single time I came. So yeah, I don't know what the neighborhoods are. I don't know what the vibes are.

I do know that it is, and this sounds stupid to say, but people that aren't in New York need to understand, it is an entirely separate city from the rest of New York City. And it's bigger than any other city that we go to.

So it's like, it's that big and that different in so many different areas and ways. So there's no nailing down Brooklyn. It's an artificial forced merging of the boroughs into one city. We're not meant to function that way. Totally.

But we find a way. It is the biggest borough by population, right? Queens is the biggest by area, and I think Brooklyn's the biggest by population. Thank you. Confirmed. 100%. Now we know. I said to

Joe he should have been a door because then he could have been the door to the north tonight. But he didn't consult with anyone on his costume, so it's very front door. How would a door sit down? That's exactly what I was going to say. This is exactly how

the entire network operates. Troy has ideas, but he doesn't know they don't work in real life. I'm a can. I'm a can, and I'm sitting. That's what I thought. I asked when I saw that. I was like, can you sit down?

Oh, he can sit down. Follow-up question. Can you pee? I cut a hole in my leotard. He was walking around back and forth backstage. He was like, I need to pee, but I'm in a jumpsuit. So I was like, he brought a pair of scissors. Aerate that.

I was like, why are there scissors over the toilet tank? That's why. You're not even joking. Yes. By the way, your Philly's hat is still in the toilet. Yeah.

Your Philly's hat is in the bathroom. It's in the bathroom. It's not. I threw it in the toilet. Skitter, who are you this evening? Who are you

playing this evening? Oh, come on, man. Let me introduce you to a personal friend of mine. It's the M41A pulse rifle, 10 millimeter, over under 30 millimeter,

pump action grenade launcher. Oh! Now with real grenades. I'm Ripley from two movies. Merged. You should have put some tootsie rolls in there. Although I actually, looking at myself in the mirror, I actually look way more like Linda from Bob's Burgers.

But I did spend like $200 on this pulse rifle from Nerf. So maybe you're Linda from Bob's Burgers dressing up as Ripley for Halloween. Oh, Bobby, I'm Ripley from Aliens. Bobby. Oh, I'm an alien. I'm gonna shoot him. Kate, you're dressed up as a popular character

from a show I didn't see. What? Yeah, I didn't see. What? Yeah, I watched season one. It was cool. Okay, well, watch the next three. Do I have to? I feel like only the new one is good, and I get to sit through a bunch of garbage. No, they're all really good.

Are they? That was a lukewarm response. You really liked the season, though, enough so that you were like, that's my costume. Yeah, it was pretty good. I also just kind of wanted to do something easy and I already had this whole outfit except for the wig on Eddie Munson from season four of Stranger Things.

I was worried you too would be a can of white claw. That would have been awkward. I was thinking about too would be a can of white claw. That would have been awkward. I was thinking about it. We have got, oh man, how many people know Strange Aeons? I played it, played through to this part in the adventure. Okay. It's going to be fucking awesome.

You're going to have so much fun tonight unless Kate fucks it up. I'm going to fuck it up. But let me ask you. Not that bad. It's going to be funny. Set the bar low. You never know. Let me ask you, Brooklyn.

Are you ready to rock? Yeah. Woo! I said, are you ready to rock? All right, calm down. I'm full of Mexican food. Joe, can you hit me with some nice, sexy music? Sexy? Sexy, scary, spooky.

Halloween music. You got the Monster Mash on there? I like the opening of the Monster Mash, where he just tells you what the song is going to be about. I was outside late one night. My eyes beheld the scary sight. Kate, this is your first recap. Enjoy it. I will.

Because it may be your last. No, you're going to be great. It's totally not. Oh, I like the confidence. Totally not. Oh, I like the confidence. Our heroes have been... Unnecessary and rude. On this boat adventure for almost two months of actual game time.

And it has been an adventure. of actual game time, and it has been an adventure. They are on this boat because they're trying to find a man named Count Hazerton Lowes IV. We've heard this name over and over again since we were here four years ago, or however long it was. This is a man that some of them used to work for in some way. And at some point during their employ, somehow the count or one of his associates had their minds erased and had them committed to an asylum. Well, they got out of the asylum and they made it to the count's estate

and they ransacked the place, killed a bunch of people, and they find out where he is. They find out that he is heading way, way far to the south, to the nation of Taldor in search of a book called the Necronomicon. Yeah, this is a dark tome full of dangerous knowledge. Now this boat journey has been brutal Because not only is traveling on the boat Full of its own trials, tribulations and dangers But as they've been unraveling the mystery of the count Reading his books and his journals

They realize that he was spending time Enacting these rituals to enter the dimension of dreams, to further his research. So the heroes have been enacting that same ritual. And they know that Laos went there. And while he was there, he met this figure known as the Mad Poet. The Mad Poet imparted some of these dark truths to Laos. And these truths were so strong, this knowledge was so powerful, that it actually fractured a piece of Laos' mind that stayed behind in the dreamlands. And this fragment calls himself the Yellow King.

Well, they've met the king. And the Yellow King told them that Laos traveled the dreamlands in search of several gifts to give the mad poet. Because you don't just show up at the mad poet's doorstep expecting to talk. You have to offer gifts. So you find out what gifts Laos gave him. And you say, I'm going to go find those gifts too. So you've been going in and out of the dreamlands, all over this strange dreamscape,

finding these gifts. You now have three of those seven items that Lowell's allegedly found, but getting them has not been easy. Two of your companions died recently after stopping in a seaside town full of religious zealots. And at one point,

two of you actually died in the dreamlands trying to acquire one of these gifts. Thankfully, if you die in the dreamlands, you don't die in real life, but your mind is addled with a madness instead. Die multiple times in the dreamlands and you feel as if things could get much worse. Your character, Joe Atticus, already has one madness. Your latest trip to this dimension took you to the city of Sarnath in search of a green statue of a water lizard.

And after enacting the dream ritual, you found yourself in this hedonistic city-wide bacchanal people drinking and fucking all over the place they're celebrating the 1000th year since sarnath destroyed the city of ib a primitive city full of these frog people who worshipped a great old one named bokrog in fact you learn that this water lizard statue is not a statue of a mere water lizard, but a statue of Bokrug. And when Sarnath destroyed Ib a thousand years ago, they took that statue and they put it in one of their great temples as a war trophy. But then the next day, that statue disappeared. Not great news for our heroes who find themselves

in this celebration. But every year, the city of Sarnath celebrates the destruction of those stupid frog people. And since this is the 1,000th such celebration, it's a very drunk and sexy party. At first you find yourself separated as you wander about the thousands upon thousands of guests who try to ply you with drinks and propositions. But eventually, this ball is disrupted by four ib shades, ghosts of the deceased amphibian people who storm down the steps of the seawall and begin laying waste to the guests. Luckily, you make short work of them. But then there's an even larger commotion as people begin rushing down all of the staircases up on the balconies, yelling that the waters have

risen over the seawall, threatening to destroy the entire city. And with these waters, even more of these shades, in fact, one of these shades is holding aloft a green statue of a water lizard, perhaps the very same statue of Bokrug you seek. After these people come down with this news, it is a madhouse. Gesser, climbing over each other to run away. And in the pandemonium, you see two of your companions, Suki and Zantar, get like pulled away with the crowd. They're pulled away. You can't even see them anymore. They're not here.

Suki, speak to me. They're gone. They're not here! Suki, speak to me! They're gone. You look ahead, and behind a couple of barely see-through translucent screens, you do see a staircase leading up to the top of the seawall, presumably, and a little rivulet of water running down the stairs. But the space between you and this staircase is full of people stampeding over each other.

Let's go to the map. Take you to the map. I'll take you to map. Here it is. It's really poorly done here. I just threw a bunch of copy pastes. The map is so much nicer than all my purple dressed women. This is right at home.

I feel like we're on the boat. Right. It's such a faux pas that everyone came dressed in the same purple dress. That is, yeah. Very embarrassing. Well, everyone knows

that the Thousandth Celebration, it's customary to wear purple. Some people didn't get the memo. Red guy. Ethel Merman, you'll notice next to your character there is a little hooded executioner figure with the number one on it.

That means you are doomed one. That's right. You cheating son of a bitch. Doomed! These ghostly frogs that came down and hit you, they only struck true once and it was on you, Ethel, and just by touching you with their ghostly hands,

not only did they do damage, but they left you doomed. I didn't appreciate it. What'd you say? I didn't appreciate it. It wasn't meant for you to appreciate it. It was meant to make the game more difficult. And it succeeded, because now, even though you have the die-hard

feat, which lets you go all the way to dying five, the doomed condition now means you die at dying four. I hope more of these shades don't hit you, and then you die at dying three, or two, or one.

We'll see. What do you do? Or one. We'll see. What do you do? We can see the staircase that's leading up. Can't do it. Too many people wearing purple. It's so fucking rough. So much purple!

Atticus turns to his right. Suki! There, the stairwell. I'm so happy you're still on the map. You turn around. You clearly speak. Wait, is she? No, she's like, fuck!

And she's gone. Oh, no! And you see her pull... And thrown out the window? No, just put right here. As I said, this map, last Thursday or whenever we played, this map, imagine, extends far beyond

what we're actually seeing here. But I did reveal that little staircase with that little rivulet of water. Do you still see her? She's stuck in the wall! Help her! We gotta save her. Oh, she's back Okay well done

Well done You having fun Joe? I'm having so much fun Atticus can you get to Suki? Oh easily She's right next to me Thankfully she wasn't pulled away in the crowd Suki

Suki Suddenly a bloody Pentagram She wants it pulled away in the crowd. Suki. Suki. Suddenly a bloody pentagram appears on top of Suki. No. And sucks Atticus Stumbleback from the clearly arcane cultist symbol. The pentagram begins to expand. Oh, no. No.

Oh, no. And then you just see Suki explodes. Ah, the chamber. Oh, my God. Oh no Oh no And then you just see Suki explodes Oh my god Oh my god Her blood covers that Horrible Text Sydney Oh my god We have to tell Sydney Text Sydney

Oh no Another new character She has to make another new character Not it Yeah for real And she clearly put effort into Suki. That's rough. What a way to go.

Exploding pentagram. It's okay. She's just going to be back on the boat, but she'll have some sort of mental illness. Some sort of madness, yes, because she exploded at this party. It was a great party until I exploded from that pentagram. That bloody pentagram.

Yeah, I mean, there's just too many people between you and the staircase. If you try to push forward, even a hulking brute like Ethel Merman, you find yourself really swimming against the tide. You're getting pushed back for every step that you try to take forward. You're getting pushed back, too. Atticus is going to move to Aldo. He's going to dodge around the crowd and get close to Aldo. Atticus is under an illusion spell, an illusory disguise,

which makes him appear as if he is a beautiful, blonde, blue-eyed halfling. Oh, hello. This is a pretty young thing. What do I owe the... Oh, God, it's Atticus. Oh, I forgot about him. It's me. Hello. This is a pretty young thing. What do I owe the... Oh, God, it's Atticus. Oh, I forgot about that. It's me. Right.

Oh, God, that voice. Got to change that, too. Something within the dreamlands. Let's go. We must move away. Yeah. And he's trying to get away. Like, he's going to move with the crowd.

Away from... If we can't get past them, then we'll move away from the flood that looks like it's going to burst over the top of the stairs right yeah if you start to move in the direction that suki and xantar get swept up in you find it's actually easier to move away and uh ethel you quickly learn that like trying to go in the direction of the danger uh it's it's it's proving to be useless and so you two uh if you turn and start to go in the opposite direction, you find that it's a lot easier,

but you don't know where you're going. And there's obvious danger here. And possibly the statue that you seek is in the direction that you can't get to at that moment. There is this like, almost like an explosion, but it's not a loud blast,

like a bomb, like one of Aldo's bombs. It's almost as if the space between you and the stairs like folds in on itself and all of the bodies between you and the staircase

just get like torn apart. Severed limbs, heads, torsos fall to the floor, flopping. And standing amidst this carnage is a hooded figure with their hands splayed. They then bring their hands to their side, and you see them walk amongst this carnage, reach down and start to grab some of the limbs and slide them into their

folds of their robe then they look up and remove their cowl what do they look like Kate! oh yeah well um What do they look like? Kate! Oh, yeah! Well, she's got a really big, imposing staff.

It's all twisted. They're all with her. Like, all the cup fingers standing behind her taking notes. Can I get you some water, Kate's character? Yeah. Like a stick staff. Oh, I see. Oh, I'm sorry.

That makes more sense. Classic stick staff. Twisted, it's grim looking. It's adorned with hideous skulls and bone motifs. Her cloak, it's really long and thick. It was hooded. When she takes the hood down, I mean, you don't really see anything that remarkable

compared to maybe what else might be underneath the cloak. Her hair is long and smooth, dark, blunt bangs. Her face... There we go. One of us. She's maybe got some

colorless skin. Lots of ear piercings. Translucent skin? Translucent? Not translucent. But maybe as she's leaning down to go pick up some of these parts, you see more of it open. And underneath the collar, you see a wide, gaping mouth where her neck is.

Oh, whoa, okay. With pointed yellow teeth. Oh, whoa, okay. With like pointed yellow teeth. Oh, God. And as she's picking things up and reaching, you see like her nails are long and dark, like charred bone, like they're thick. And her hands kind of look like the texture of chicken feet. Oh, my God. She also has a doll.

Okay. Talk to me about this doll. She's got a doll with her. Talk to me about this doll. She's got a doll with her. It looks very simply made. It's pink. It has baby boo buttons for eyes. And like a little sewn smile. And like just a little red heart on its chest.

Joey, you seem distressed. So do you want to talk to her? I can't tell if Troy's idea was like, we'll bring in Kate and have her play the boss. That's how you'll kill her. This will shake things up. Or if I have to find a way to role play being friends with this nightmare.

You are in the dream. Like chicken leg texture. Oh, wow. That's all I've got. There she is. Oh, no. Why would we react in a friendly way

to this thing? I don't know. So Ethel Merman is standing directly across the blood scape from her. And he's got his hammer and his axe in his other hand. And he's just like, okay. So he looks back to Atticus and Aldo. So do I kill her?

Oh, yes. Yeah. Is that a go? This is the one. Shee! Wait, where's the idol in our view right now? It's not. As far as you know, the seawater is coming over the seawall.

Remember, this wall in the back is like 50 feet tall, unadorned. It just has this staircase, and you see the water coming down. So they said the water is coming over and with it a bunch of these frog ghosts and one of them is holding the statue. So it's upstairs. So someone just said they're holding an eye. A lot of people are yelling now. So we don't see the eye. You would think you'd have to climb the stairs. I'm sorry. I don't know

whether to address my comments to the mouth on your neck or the mouth on your face. Not to be rude. Well, just look into my eyes. I could do that too, but I have a thing where you... Don't look in her eyes! No, no, don't worry.

I think it's good to look people in the mouth when you talk, because then they can't lie to you that way. Don't be frightened. Listen, I just recently been through a divorce. Now is not the time, not much frightens me. That's good

to hear. So, are you with the frog ghost or are you not with the frog ghost? Oh, I'm not with the frog ghost, no. Okay, guys, she's not with the frog ghosts. No. Okay, guys, she's not with the frog ghosts. What? Whose side are you on?

Do I need to choose? Whose side are you on? I don't know either. Well, maybe we're all on the same side. We're trying to recover that idol. Did you see it from up there? Did she seem to come over the wall? You just saw her

just emerge like she did whatever she did in the middle of this crowd. Oh, okay. Then started collecting weird trophies. You need my help with something? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Oh. Sure?

Yeah. He's like not looking her in the eye. Look him in the mouth.s looking him in the mouth. Always look him in the mouth. I can't lie to you if you look him in the mouth. Wait, are you a guest at this particular function? You could say I'm a visitor. What's your name?

Eris. Eris? That's a great name I know I say we trust her I like you completely she's got a great mouth two great mouths

and both of them speak truth you know not many people say that I mean I call them as I see them. And I love Final Fantasy VII, so I'm more prone to... I'm more prone to accept what she's saying as truth. Are you a creature of the Dreamlands? No. So you've traveled here as well?

Accidentally. Are you trying to escape, or... That would be nice, yes. Well, then let's fucking go. Okay. Can we ask her anything besides yes or no questions? What are you doing here? Oh, good one.

Ah, I'm stuck here. I got here accidentally. Where are you from, originally? I'm from the Mana Wastelands. Oh, I don't know it. I've never been there. Not many people do because they're wastelands now. Oh, that's terrible.

Oh, that follows. But if you must know, for trust's sake, I've been trying to figure out how to lure more children. And I thought perhaps in their dreams, so that I can feed my mouth, Nick. So that I can feed my mouth, Nick. Wait a minute. Wait, wait.

I was 90% on board. Ethel slowly swivels his head backwards. And I... I got stuck here trying to reach their dream land. The dreams of children. Well, they're the tastiest treat, but they are quite stinky. And it's what my patron desires. Patron?

My patron. Who's your patron? Well, the great Baba Yaga. Oh, I knew it! I knew it! I saw the chicken hands and I was like, Baba Yaga, like, exactly. So, all right, so now I'm on the side of don't trust her because it's one of the most nefarious buildings in the history of where I'm from. Are any of you children?

No, I may look like a child, but no, we're young and hard. You don't have anything to worry about with me I don't want to eat you actually you know it's true we haven't even run into any children now that you mention it I'm not particularly fond of them yeah they're not they're noisy they're not great so

I mean maybe enemy of my enemy and all that etc I assure you also I I have enough parts. I don't want any of yours. Don't even know what that sentence means. Well, we're good. Do you want help? Yes.

We need all the help we can get, regardless of how monstrous that help might be. Well, that can be pretty helpful. I believe it. Right, okay. Oh, God, they're going to kill us! Hold on, hold on, hold on. We're still working this out.

The city is going to be destroyed! We haven't decided how we're splitting the gold yet. Relax. Hey, we have a deal in place. We're not renegotiating, right? No, no, certainly not, Ethel. For fuck's sake. Well, look, Hayley, we'll get a share of gold

to Ethel, and then a share of children's souls that we come across can go to Eris. Yes, yes, Eris, I would assume that mere gold holds no value for you at all, right? Why would you assume that? Because you seem... I like nice things.

I like nice things. She puts her hair behind her ear and you see all her dangly earrings. Those are nice. I like gold, too. I'll share some of my children's souls. And even trade, Aldo, some gold for the children's souls?

What do you think, friend? I don't know what the rate is, the exchange rate. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out, yes. I guess we should just go with this, and then, you know, and then if something goes horribly

wrong, then we can renegotiate in the future. But we can re-evaluate what's happening here. But I think right now, being as we're about to be killed by frog ghosts and a flood, we should just accept the help as offered. There's no children about. And, you know, we'll burn that bridge

when we come to. Cross that bridge, as it were. Frog ghosts and flood, or a new best friend. It is an excellent suggestion. Beyond you, that wall in the back, beyond it there is an idol. That idol is what we seek. If you help us get it, Ethel will help you get the souls of children. Fantastic. I'm in. I'm not sure that was in our agreement.

No, it's standard boilerplate. You've got to read the agreement. God damn it, that's exactly how my ex-wife got me. Kevin of Keezy. So, yeah, well, I mean, what do we do now? Oh, God!

Did she clear the way? They're dying! Yeah, it looks pretty open. All right. Let's move toward the wall. Let's see. It was a good thing you slaughtered those people. Now we have a way to get out of the room.

Really cleared a lot of spice from a dance floor here. Remember, these people sucked. They were... I don't like these people at all. Like I told Kate, I was like, it's like celebrating Columbus Day with an orgy. Which is how I always did it. That's right. Stop talking about

Staten Island. You're going to piss them off. You guys going to take it to the staircase? Yeah. Take it to the staircase. You go to this steep staircase, and it ascends through the inside of what is at least a 50-foot tall seawall. And as you ascend, the water pouring down these stone steps makes it uh makes the climb slippery uh but other than that there's really uh no other people in your way everyone has rushed down there so if you take your time and you watch your footing uh you start to near the top of the staircase and as you do there is like this green mist that is coming

down from outside over to the top of the staircase and so as you emerge into the mist you notice that this thin green mist is composed of very fine particles and they seem to like cling to the bare parts

of your skin, your hair, your clothes, almost imparting this slick, waxy sheen to your body that doesn't seem to be harmful, but it's certainly unusual. And the mist is so thick that it's hard to see too far ahead of you. Beyond 100 feet or so, you just see shapes in the distance. You're not quite sure what is out there. As you get to the top, there are, oddly enough, some narrow, decorative

crenellations along the north. Oh, yeah! You might even call it a crenellated tower. Some narrow, decorative crenellations along the north and west sides of the seawall that rise about five feet or so every 15 feet,

give or take a couple feet. And along the wall, as you emerge, you see several bodies just floating in like a few inches of water face down. Their corpses already starting to bloat.

And then water just splashing over the top of the seawall. I think one of you, while talking to the guests, they said, oh, during the celebration every year, the waters rise up. It's like a part of the celebration. And then the next day they come down.

Well, never did anyone say that it comes all the way over. And you look and you see this lake or ocean or whatever it is. It is all the way up to the top and it is coming over and it has started to kill people. As you take in the scene though, you don't see any more of these Ipshades that people were talking

about. Perhaps your 45 minute conversation with the neck mouth meant they moved on to another town. But you don't see them and you don't see anyone holding a water statue of Bokrug aloft. What do you do?

I don't know. Excuse me. Excuse me. Does any of you happen to have a statue of Bokrug in your possession? At that moment. Oh, good call. On every side of you, peeking out of the mist behind

the crenellation, you see these one, two, three multicolored balls of light just appear out of nowhere near you and crackle with electricity. Roll for initiative.

Let's fucking go! Let's fucking go! Let's take it to the map! You think you like this map? Wait till you see. Sorry, Paizo. There's a new map in town, and it's this one. Whoa.

Oh, no. Oh, come on. Oh, no. Are they going to be the worst enemy to ever fight in Pathfinder? Well, let's take a little zoom in on them. Oh, no. They look like friends. Just some

purple skulls with a ton of faces. I'm sure everything's fine. Let's start with initiative. Aldo, what'd you get? I got a 29. 29, solid. Atticus? Natural 2. For a 13

Brutal Ethel Merman? Also a 29 Also a 29 And is it Eris or Iris? Wow, not paying Eris, I was looking for my initiative bonus It's Eris Alright, Eris, what did you roll?

I rolled a natural 15 It looks like I have a plus 0 initiative It's Eris Alright Eris What did you roll Are you still I rolled a natural 15 It looks like I have A plus zero initiative That can't be right That is incorrect You know what it is Your perception bonus

That's your initiative Ooh I got a 25 then Ooh Way to lie We're having a good time Alright It is The creature's turn We're having a good time. All right. It is the creature's turn.

The one nearest Aldo and Atticus just comes over to you. I don't like it at all. And it goes to shock you with electricity. Do you have that shock the monkey drop that we added? Oh, I will in a few moments. Okay. Natural one. Yes!

That's how you want to start the show. Troy's gonna roll. That's really shitty. All right, so where it is a natural one, we'll do a fan fumble. And why don't we bring it back home to New York City? New York City. Is this a magical attack? No.

It's not? Melee or range? Just a quick question. It shot lightning, is that right? Let me just see if it's magical. I wasn't really paying attention. If it's not an astromech droid, I think it's a magical attack. I'm sorry, it is.

It does have the magical property. Get right out of town. I was too busy making sure that the Yankees lost, and so I wasn't listening. And they did. Yes, magical. So a magical fumble, that's bad. Oh, magical fumble might be bad, but you'll probably get lucky

because you're Troy. This one from Scott P. in East Hampton, Connecticut. Scotty P.! Scotty P., what's up? Scotty P. Scotty P. in East Hampton, Connecticut was the nearest New York fumble. Magical. All right. I didn't know Scotty Pippen Hampton, Connecticut was the nearest New York fumble Magical I didn't know Scotty Pippin listened to our show

I didn't know he moved to Connecticut Well, a lot of people do after they retire Scotty Pippin's fumble is titled Unintelligible Philadelphia Accent Perfect You have spent too much time around people with a Philadelphia accent. Okay. Perfect. You have spent too much time around people with a Philadelphia

accent, and your magical mishap results in you only being able to speak in borderline incomprehensible slang, lingo, and dialect. Your spell fails. You must roll a will save. Go ahead and roll a will save.

That's not really a spell. Your magical attack fails. All right. I'll reword it on the... All right, so this is a 20 against Aldo's AC. That is a fail. That's a fail. That is a failure.

Failure is... Poop! Your speech is so unintelligible, you are unable to cast any spells requiring verbal components for 1d4 rounds. But I guess that doesn't require verbal components, so you're fine. Certainly doesn't.

Oh, look at all the water. In fact, if you had... If you had... Look at all that water, dude. What? How many iterations are there in this museum? Wooter. I'm going to shock the tall one with lightning.

Our schools are terrible. If you had succeeded, it would be better than you felt. That's classic Troy. Classic. LaVallee's gonna roll. Alright, well, just for fun, as my last action, I will disappear. Yeah, I mean,

this is it. This is the worst. Troy told us before we went on stage that this was his favorite encounter that he'd read in the book. Which usually bodes really well for us. Yeah, we were immediately like, oh, so it's going to suck.

No, it's going to be fun. We're going to have so much fun. You don't even know. But right now it appears to be invisible. However, you could still attack it with a flat check if you think you know the square. And there's other things that might go on as well. In the meantime, it's another one of my characters' turns

because you guys rolled shitty. So the one right next to Ethel Merman dumb character name is going to attempt to shock you. I'm going to use neon green. Shock.

Shock. Okay. 30 to hit. Yes. Just raising the roof. Yeah, like the kids do. The podcasters in the show. Troy was raising the roof.

Here comes some damage. All right, so there's going to be 13 points of electricity damage. A little electricity damage. Zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-zika-z Piece. Quick cue. Going invisible. Free actione? No. A straight up action. Oh, but you didn't move. I did not move. Thank you, though, for questioning me. So we know where they are. Thought I could get them.

Don't ever question me in front of the show. We know where they are because they didn't move. They're invisible. You know what makes me very upset? We are almost an hour into this show, and you didn't even say that Francis is here. I know. Francis is here. Any fans of Get in the Trunk?

Yeah. No? Well, if you watched Get in the Trunk, Francis Maremma is in the house. Where is that son of a bitch? Where are you, you dumb bastard? Where are you? Oh my god. He left. I bet you he went drinking with Randy, who's also here. Yeah, Randy's also here.

You're probably in a strip club right now. We waited too long. I see you, Senator! There we go. Yay. There we go. Francis! There we go.

And Del is here again, too. Del is here. Good buddy, Del. Del and Francis and Randy. What a crowd. Thank you for coming. You guys can leave now. Have fun at the bar.

Have fun at the bar. We'll see you there in a couple hours. It is Aldo's turn. Aldo, one of these things is still visible, but the other two came out shocked and ran. I would like to do an identify check. I'll allow it.

Can I use Arcana? Yeah, Arcana. These seem to be magical creatures. Okay. That is a 26. Yeah, these are Will-O-Wisps. I knew it! I knew it. Remember old Mossmoon back in the day? I do. The first Will-O-Wisps. I knew it! I knew it. Remember old Mossmoon back in the day? I do, yeah.

The first Will-O-Wisp on the network. Now here we are, back in New York, back where it all began, and you're fighting three of them. So he turns to the party and says, Stay your spells! Magic is no more used here! And he's going to throw a bomb

at the one that he can see. Now I will tell you something. Were you rolled high enough? I want to give you an actual piece of information, because Willowips and 2E work differently than Willowips and 1E. They are immune to magic, but it's just immune to spells. But there are some spells that get through, and those spells are Fairy Fire, glitter dust, magic missile,

and Matthew's favorite, maze. Oh, okay. Oh, that is your favorite. Wow. Ethelcast maze. Ethelcast maze. Will do.

So yeah, fire when ready, Skid. All right, I'm gonna throw an alchemist fire bomb. Okay. That is a 19 to hit. 19 is a miss. It's not that funny. It's just a bad roll.

Big Will-O-Wisp fan in the front row here. That's a big old miss, but not a crit fail. Okay, so that's two points of splash damage to the creature. All right. And this is the one past Eris? Yes. Okay. Yeah.

And that's it. That's it? That's it. Because I did identify action, and then I told them what you just told me, which is the second action. That's not an action. Just to talk. No, it is. It is.

To talk? To tell your friends? Yeah, yeah. Doing that stuff, that's an action. So, yeah, that's my last action. Thank's not an action, just a talk. No, it is. To talk? To tell your friends? Yeah, yeah. Doing that stuff, that's an action. So, yeah, that's my last action. Thank you for being honest. I appreciate that. Matthew's never honest. Yes, Skid!

Matthew, you can learn a thing or two from Skid when it comes to honesty. I can learn a thing or two from Skid in general. Yes. Full of knowledge. Big Rings of Power fan, too. He'll talk about that. You can talk about any VIPs out there.

We can talk about it at length after the show. Ask Skid about the Rings of Power. Ethel Merman, please take the stage. Ethel is going to charge at the one that is visible. Yeah. He's going to use an ability called Double Slice.

Ooh! Twice as nice! Which is very cool. I basically take two, I can use a two action, it's a two action jaw. Okay. A little two action jaw.

Look what's happened to me. Does that include the movement? Or the movement is action one and this is your final actions for the round? The latter.

So basically I make, I roll twice to attack with both of my weapons, because I'm dual wielding, but I can do it without the multiple attack penalty, and I combine my damage for the purposes of defeating DR, etc. So many nerd boners in the audience. I almost rolled two 19s,

and then one of my die just flopped over to be a three. Oh! Okay, so that is going to be a 21 on the Warhammer and a 35 on the hatchet. The Warhammer misses, but the other one hits. Okay, is that a crit?

35? I'm sorry, no. Just to give you an idea of what we're dealing with here. I won't be hitting these guys tonight. It's going to be 14 points of damage. 14 points of damage! Ethel Merman!

13 points of damage. 13 points of damage. Thank you for being honest. I learned something from Skid today. That's good. That's what we all try to do every day. Well, it is that Will-O-Wisp's turn I refer to him as Will-O-Wisp 2

And he will Try to shock you That is going to be a fucking 29 Yep Rocks dude rocks This is starting off so bad. Ooh. 18 points of electricity damage.

Oh, man. Sheboygan. And then here's what I'm going to do, just because we're all friends here. I am then going to go invisible and then try to strike you again. Okay? So it goes invisible, tries to strike you again, and I'm assuming misses with a 24, right? That misses. Okay, but this is why I'm a nice guy.

As it's invisible, when it uses its shock attack while invisible, that arc of electricity allows you to see exactly where it is, making it only hidden. DC 11 flat check to hit instead of DC 15, I think, or whatever it is, until it moves. So you know where it is. That's a DC 11 to hit instead of DC 15, I think, or whatever it is until it moves. You know where it is. That's a DC 11 to hit. You're welcome. Thank you. Someone that appreciates a little gamesmanship from the GM

to help the players. Ladies and gentlemen, making their first turn as a part of Glass Cannon Live. Give it up for Kate Stamis. Yeah! Kate! What does Eris do?

Who is this person? Well, she can do so many things, but since these guys don't like spells... What is she? Can I touch Athol from where I am? Yep. I didn't even look.

Yes, the answer is yes. All right, so listen. Ethel murmured this way. Don't be scared. And she just touches you with her chicken hand. Oh, God. It's a moist chicken hand touches your neck. And she just says some stuff you don't understand.

I don't understand. And these eyes start forming all around your body. And this allows you to see in all directions at once. Oh. And you cannot be flanked for one minute. Wow, that's awesome. Nice. So eyeballs appear all over his body?

Yeah. Ah! It's only temporary. Don't worry, they'll go away. I don't have to turn to you. I am helping away I am helping I am helping this is a very interesting situation

I can't say it's not a little terrifying once the terror goes away you'll just feel the power okay so that was two rounds. This is a very interesting situation. Nice. Yes, Kim! Professional. So that was two actions?

That was two actions. So you got one action left. And then with my last action, since I can't see anything, I'm going to cast shield on myself, which is a cantrip. And it'll be there until my next round. Alright, so we're dealing with some sort of

spellcaster. Well, she's a witch, right? How dare you? How dare you? She's a patron. She's sitting right here. She's a patron. I thought you were

talking about Kate. You don't know. You don't know, dude. I don't know. Kate, do you want to tell them? Yes. She's a witch! She's a witch!

Well, it is the season of the witch. Kate, do you want to tell them? Yes. She's a witch! She's a witch! Well, it is the season of the witch. A couple fans of that old song. I love that song. It is Atticus's turn to round out the round. What do you do, buddy? Oh, he looks at his spell list that is useless, and I am going to try to buy some time for myself, and so I'm going to do self-defensive measures for the moment

and he's going to start by casting Mirror Image on himself. Okay. So, and multiple Atticus's, three of them start moving within the space and then I will also cast Shield and raise all four of them, raise up a shield to try to encourage the creatures to keep attacking Aldo.

Go for the easy mark, he screams into the flood. Well, that's the end of round one, and we go into round two, and it is those two Will-O-Wisps that are right near Aldo that are going to attack. So the first one does exactly what the one near Ethel

Merman did. It goes to attack Aldo and as it does it becomes semi-visible. That aura of electricity showing you where it is but it still may be hard to hit if you choose to attack it and it goes to shock you where it is, but it still may be hard to hit if you choose to attack it. And it goes to shock you, and it misses!

And then it tries again. And that is going to be a 23. On me? Yeah. That is a hit. That is a hit. Oh, no! Roots Magoots.

Shit. Fucked my D8. Can't you take my D8? So sorry. All right. Lost a D8. 13 points of electricity damage. Okay.

The other one moves towards Eris and Atticus. It also becomes slightly visible as it goes to attack. Oh, let's say one, two, three, Eris, four, five, six, Atticus! Eris! With a little

shock! Value 25 to hit. That just hits with my shield. Oh, with the shield you take 14 points of electricity damage and then with its final attack it will go after

Atticus and probably miss and does. Wait, what is the result of that roll? The result of that roll because you asked nicely, is 14. Oh. Yes. That is a critical fail, which is important because it does not destroy an image on that fail.

Thank you. Thank you. Okay. Boom. Rules are fun for me. Okay. Let's rock. All right.

Come on, Ethel. Kill it. All right. Thank you. Oh, this doesn't bode well. Ethel opens a book. Uh-oh. Be decisive, Merman.

There's no time. Hey, how about these pocket core rule books? Yes. Thank you, Paizo. Nice to have you on stage. I've been meaning to read this. I hear it's pretty good. It's just fucking long.

I hear good things. I can't put it down. It's not a page turner. It is Aldo's turn. Aldo, round two. These things are surrounding you and your friends. You've taken some damage. What do you do?

Okay, so would I know... Are these things undead? Are they technically undead? They don't have that distinction, at least listed here. Because they have skulls. They're aberrations. Okay. This is a very interesting aberration.

Very interesting aberration. Ooh, that's a good title for this app. Oh, yeah. Okay. All right, I'm going to, God. Good luck peeing in that title for this ep. Oh, yeah. Okay. Alright, I'm gonna... Good luck peeing in that jerkin'. The bladder to the north! The king of the north!

What a disgraceful king. To the wall with you! To the wall! Yeah, I'm gonna throw another Alchemist Firebomb. Okay. Which one? That's the one that is visible adjacent to me. Okay, now they're both going to require a DC 11 flat check, but you can roll to hit first if you want.

Okay, I'll roll to hit first. Okay, that is a 29 to hit. Okay, now give me that flat check. Failed on the flat check. Poop salad. How many actions? But that is two more points of splash damage. Okay.

The one to your right or to your left? The one to my left. Okay. Oh, wait. To my skid's left, not... Well, now I'm confused. Wait. Is it the one that's like

to the north or the one next to Atticus? The northernmost one. Okay. Okay. That wasn't the one you clicked. Okay. Okay, two points of damage.

Got it. Okay. I'm going to throw another bomb at it. Okay. Okay, that's 22 to hit. That is a miss. Okay, so two more points hit. That is a miss. Okay, so two more points of splash damage. Got it.

And I'd like to aid another. I would like to aid Ethel Merman. Okay. I would love to use my... I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can use my Arcanist skill to aid him. Okay. To say, these creatures, they're weak under the jawbone or something. Like some arcane bit of knowledge that would help him.

Yeah, I don't think, it's totally GM fiat here, and the way you're describing it is cool to work. Because you and this idiot would be the only ones that have any sort of arcane knowledge. Perhaps your new friend Eris. Well, maybe the witch would have some as well. But you're wicked smart and so I like this. Give me an arcana check and I'll let you know if it helps.

Okay. Okay, that is a 30. Alright, so that's a critical success. So, Ethel, you'll get a plus two circumstance bone to your check. That's actually not true. Are you a master, Skinny? Because I'm a master in that skill. I was just going to ask.

Actually, it would be plus three, but since I got a crit, it's a plus four. So it's a plus four to your attack. All right. a plus four to your attack. Alright. So you get a little bone there on your turret. I now finally know the barest amount of Pathfinder 2nd Edition that I can explain things about it.

He's back, baby! And now it goes from Master to Commander. What would you like to do? I am going... Shut up! That's funny. What do you want?

I don't know your rank. I don't know that show. The Master and Commander is one thing. All right. Okay. All right. All right.

I'm going to attack the one before me that is currently invisible. Yes. But it's hidden to me, so I have to roll a flat check. Yes. You want to roll that first? You want to roll the hit? I'll roll the hit first. Okay.

I'm going to do the double slice again. The double slice? You know what? No, actually. I'm going to use a different ability called Exacting Strike. So if I miss here, the next

strike doesn't count towards my multiple attack penalty. Okay. I'm going to roll a flat check at the same time. That's a cool ability. A little flat check at the same time. Which die is it? Green is going to be the flat check. Okay, Joe, keep him honest. He's a liar. I failed on both. Well, I don't know.

With the plus four, actually, that's going to be a 26 to hit. That's a miss. This, by the way, is your front line fighter. What would you like to do with your remaining actions? It was a natural four. That was one action. So second action, I will do and I miss, so I do another strike

at my full attack bonus. My bodysuit is tight. With the warhammer. All right, that's probably a hit but a miss on the flat check. 32 to hit. 32. Awesome hit. What did you give the flat check?

10. What a shit. All right, so does that count as a miss? That is a miss, yes. So I'm going to do one more strike at my full attack bonus. Awesome. Come on, you're due, Caps. Okay, okay, okay.

So it's going to be a 31 to hit and a 19 on the flat. Yeah. Now we're talking. All right. That's all. 14th time's a charm, Matthew. You got it. 22 points of damage.

Woo, baby. Holy shit. 22 points of damage. Woo, baby! Holy shit! 22 points of damage. Just take the Warhammer. I was trying to bring it down the skull inside of the purple haze. Awesome. Dude, I wish you had got multiple hits. That would have been even better.

But really cool round. Nothing's ever good enough for you, Troy. Now it's my turn. And I'm gonna shock you! Ooh, we might be talking critical territory here. I know you got a high AC. 34 to hit? Not critical, but it is a hit.

Okay. Let's talk damage. Ooh! 13 points of electricity! And then I will also go invisible for a moment and then try and shock you again. Ooh, ooh, ooh.

27 to hit. Yes. Damn. Cha-pow-pow-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo. Somebody knows that song. It is going to be a shitty seven points of damage. Ethel is at less than half his HP.

Oh, man. Oh, dude, come on. I mean, Will-O-Wisps are so ridiculous. Yeah. I'm shocked that two casters arranged character and Matthew can't get through this combat. I mean, we'll get through it one way or another. I'm just letting everyone know.

I'm in some pain! Still, no water lizard statue in sight. Thank God you have a cleric. It is Eris's turn. Eris, what do you do? They need some help. Ugh. You've prepared your whole life for this moment.

I know. I spent so long preparing my spell list earlier, and I just... You know what? I should have known when you were excited about this that it was going to suck for us. Yeah. It usually means bad for you. It's so rude. This is what happened.

Run it back. You were like, I have this amazing idea. I was emailing you so excited telling you about my witch. She's going to be ruined on stage, and I'm going to love it every minute of it. We talked about a situation at lunch today where this happened to you,

and you're seeking revenge on me now. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. This is how we roll, Kate. You know what? Can I roll some, I don't know what, can I roll some sort of knowledge check that could help me fight them? Well, your buddy over here,

the bomber, he rolled the knowledge check and he told you everything you need to know. If you have access to fairy fire, glitter dust, magic missile, or maze, then you don't have to worry about it. But, yeah, these are the worst possible enemies for a caster. Well, I do have access to magic missile. Oh, yeah. Blast it! So I guess I access to Magic Missile. Oh, yeah. Blast it! So I guess I'll do that.

Yeah. Yeah! Nice! Like three times? All right, no, hey, listen, that's great. Use it or lose it. Let's talk about Magic Missile and 2E. You can use one action, or you can use all three actions if you want. You send a

dart of force. Good writing, Paizo. Streaking toward a creature that you can see, it automatically hits and deals 1d4 plus 1 force damage. For each additional action you use when casting the spell, increase the number of missiles you shoot by one to a maximum of

three missiles for three actions. And you can decide which target takes each missile. Do you want to load up on one? Do you want to spread it out? Talk to me! I feel like it's useful to try to get one of them out. And the one by Ethel has been hit the most, right? It sure has.

And you know what? I'll tell you, if you start hitting them and one of them goes down, I'll let you use the other one. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. Oh, my you. If you start hitting them and one of them goes down, I'll let you use the other one. Oh my god, thank you so much. Oh my gosh, thank you so much. You're new here and I want you to have a good time.

Wait, so wait, I rolled the D20 first. Stop doing that. Just roll a D4. Wait, no. Oh, they hit automatically. Yeah, they hit automatically. This is also my first time playing a spellcaster of anything in any game. Wow.

You're doing great. I'm doing a good job. And she's doing it in front of a crowd of people. It's fun. Okay. Give me a D4. Two, four, two. Two, four, two.

So three, five, three. 4 2 2 4 2 So 3 5 3 11 points of damage And you kill Yay Brooklyn K Brooklyn K Brooklyn K Brooklyn K

Brooklyn K For two more days. A shouting example. Yeah, I know. She's moving upstate. Upstate Kate! Upstate Kate! Upstate Kate! Oh my god, we have to call her that.

We have too much fun here. Alright, so one of those whipsps is gone. One of those whipsps is gone. Whispsps. One of those whispsps. Atticus, what do you got? You got magic missile, too? Oh, yes, I do.

I watch this witch and think, I also have access to that basic spell. It's the first time it even occurred to me. Let me do something that won't help. Everyone will cheer if you cast Magic Missile. Okay. I'm going to cast Magic Missile. Okay. I'm going to cast Magic Missile. There it is! Yeah!

And his name is John! And his name is John! Well, you bullied me into it. The question is, do they have attacks of opportunity? I assume they don't, but I don't know. You have not seen them take any reactions. Okay, then I will fire off three missiles at the

one directly between Eris, me, and Aldo. That's all packed in the middle there. So it's point blank for Atticus. Three missiles. That was max. We're on that 4-2 train, you and I. 4-4-2.

So that's 13. 13 points of damage. Yes! Yeah! I got one! You know why that's clutches? Because you don't have to worry about doing these flat checks. They are unerring missiles.

Guaranteed damage. Yeah, that's why I honestly paused on it because I was waiting for you to be like the rule says they have to be seen. I don't know the rules. So I'm going to let it happen. So you paused to consider whether or not to nerf yourself.

Right. I just nerfed Joe a second ago. Skade will nerf you for you. Nerf the whole crowd. I've got six more rounds in this thing. It's round three. This one next to Aldo strikes with, oh, dude. This might be a crit.

35 to hit. Yeah, that's a crit. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. 32 points of crit. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. 32 points of damage. Oh, no. Oh, come on, dude.

Oh, no. It's almost his birthday. I know. 32 points of damage. It then moves to close on your friend Atticus and goes to strike Atticus and misses and then the one next to him what was the roll?

it was another bad roll it was a 16 fuck he hits an image one of the images vanishes yeah getting it right trying. Getting it right. Trying to get it right around here.

We appreciate it. Your hard work does not go unnoticed. The next one goes to strike you at full attack bone. Hello, Natty18. That is going to be a 35 to hit. Atticus? Yeah. Okay, so now you have to roll 1D3.

Okay. And on a 3, you would hit me. A D3, and on a 3, I hit you. On a 1 or a 2, you miss. On a 5 or a 6, yeah. I'll do it again. Dummy. It's like playing with my 6-year-old.

Just roll it on the table. This is how my daughter rolls dice. We just started playing board games together, and she gets the die, and I'm like, all right, so you... She goes, okay. And she throws it 15 feet across the table.

How did that even occur to you to do? Just drop it in front of you. You know what? Why don't we just take the roll as is? It's by your feet. Just tell me what it says. All right, I'm going to look. All right, Brooklyn.

I'm going to look. Don't look. No. Don't look it in the eyes. Five, six is a hit. It's a three. Yeah. Are you sure? Destroy's in it. No, I'm not sure because it's a weird font is a hit. It's a three. Yeah. Are you sure?

Destroy's an... No, I'm not sure because it's a weird font. I know, it looks like a five. Let's just keep it moving. Let me just get up. Oh, fuck it is a three. All right.

That's another image. That is another image. For those who are listening at home, he said, oh, fuck it is a three, but that's another image. Right. But that would have been a crit. That would who are listening at home, he said, oh, fuck, it is a three. But that's another image. Right. But that would have been a crit. That would have been a crit, too, right?

Would that have been a crit if that had hit you? At 35? Yeah. Yeah, so, yeah. Good for you. Yeah. Good for fucking you. Second attack.

Also coming against you. Fuck your images. 12 plus 15 is a 27 to hit. Also hits. 1d2. I've got one image left. Do I have any d4s? All right, so 3, 4 is a hit.

It is a 3. That is a hit. Sweet. Here we go. That's going to be almost max damage. Almost max damage. 19 points of electricity. Oh, man.

And then it will slide, slide, slippity slide down towards Ethel and Iris. Iris, Iris, Iris, Iris. This one took damage. Finish it! Aldo's turn. Aldo, what do you do? You don't have to yell at me. You can just give me instructions. I'll do them. You don't have to yell. I'm sorry I shouted. Thank you.

I appreciate you saying that. I am going to throw a... What is it called? I'm going to throw one of those weird... A bomb. It's called a bomb. A bomb. What are they... Ghost charge.

Ghost charge bomb. Do they take positive energy damage? You know they're not undead. Right. That sounds... That's magical though, right? It is, but but Is it spellish They're immune to all spells

What is it called ghost charge is more of a property Than a spell It's the name of the thing Positive damage Splash damage what do you guys think Does anybody know this game better than us Does it have the keywords on it does it say magic No it doesn't. It says

alchemical bomb consumable positive splash. I'm going to say that can affect it. Okay. I see skulls. I think positive damage is going to hurt this thing. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Yes, that's the beauty of the keywords. It really does help.

Keywords is key. 2E is pretty good. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Okay, that is a 33 to hit. That's a hit. Alright, dude, that's a big one. Flat check? Yes, DC 11. 19 on the die.

Yeah! Aldo! And that's not a crit? No, not a crit, but definitely a hit. Okay. All right, that is... I think only a natural 20 is going to crit these fellas. I know. Okay, that's four points of positive damage.

Okay. Or five total with the splash. And it is enfeebled one. Ooh. Okay. There was a nice ooh in the audience there. Yeah. Ooh. Enfeebled one. Ooh. Okay. There was a nice ooh in the audience. Yeah. Ooh.

Enfeebled. I found out how to do this. Boop. That little one. Isn't that fun? Oh. I learned that today. Be stronger one?

No. You're enfeebled one. Aw. All right. Is that your turn, buddy? No, I'm going to throw another Alchemist Fire at it. Okay. Oh, dear.

I love you just smashing it into the, like, ethereal skull. Yeah. Smashing it into the... It's like they're trying to put it in its mouth. Eat this. Unfortunately, that is a 13 to hit damn it that's a fumble

but it wasn't a natural one we're not going to do the fumble route okay so and then I'm going to do another attempt to aid Ethel with another arcana sharing your knowledge to this

idiot. Yeah, it's like, no, just hit it in the teeth! It's spectral teeth! That is a 23 on the check, so that's plus three on your next attack. Great, plus three on your attack, and it is your turn. Aiming for the teeth.

Sink it up. All right, so I'm going to do... Well, first thing first, Ethel's going to touch himself with... When I think... Do you poke yourself in the eye as you do that? Oh, yeah. Ah! Ah! Ah! God! You needed to have

I touch myself ready, Skip. Can you have I Touch Myself ready, Skid. Can you have that ready for next time? Next time. Next time. That's a good one. Come to Philadelphia. You'll get to hear that, and I'll explore it. Get it!

So I heal 14 points of damage. Woo! Let me just mark that down. 14 heal. Was that one action or two actions? One action. All right, so now I'm going to do a double slice with my Warhammer and my hatchet. This is all going to go together.

Let me do that. I'm going to do a flat check for each one. You're technically two attacks. No, how many actions is it? Two. Yeah. All right. All right.

So this will be for the Warhammer. That's going to be a fail on both. Well, with the plus three. F-O. Doesn't matter if you failed on the flat check. Failed on the flathammer. That's going to be a fail on both. Well, with the plus three. Doesn't matter if you failed on the flat check. And this is for the hat shit. Did you call it a hat shit? You said it weird.

You said hat shit weird. Do you wield a hat shit? Hat shit? Just like a hat full of shit. You slap it, ghost. Yeah, that's what he does. You're a weird guy. It's especially weird because I fell in a flat check again. It says fairy fire,

magic missile, and hat shit. Gets through. Hat shit, not immune to hat shit. It has resist four against hat shit. That was a national 19 with another flat check. Oh, my God. Buy this man some dice.

Is that your turn? That's my turn. He looks so beaten, so dejected. Eris. These are the dice that kill. The die that kills Sir Julian. Can you help this dog and pony show? I wish I could help your hat shits,

but I don't think I have a spell for that. He's got a bad case of the hat shits. I had to do this naturally. I guess I'll use my first time playing this game as a level seven witch to cast another magic missile. Perfect. Hey, oh! Dude, if you can do that all day, just go all day.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Same thing, three turns. Three actions. Three actions. Are you attacking the one next to you? Can I discern which one might be weaker? Yeah, the one right next to you. It's going to that one.

Come on. Finish it, Eris! I got a four. Nice. And I got a three. And I got a four. Wow! Oh my god. 14 points of damage. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Ethel, you watch as someone effectively hurts the creature. What are your takeaways? My takeaways is that I might be focusing too much on the negatives in my life. And that yes, I do tend to approach

every situation with violence. I would argue that's actually a boon in my field, but no, never mind. I guess your wife didn't agree, though. She did not agree. At one point, she said, and I'm going to quote here, she said, you're like a merchant of violence,

a merchant of death, Ethel, which I could not argue with, and was very hurtful. That sounds hot. Yes. Your wife is missing out. Or your ex-wife.

Yeah, neck mouth's into it. Ex-wife, yeah. Whoa. All of Ethel's... My sensing of... Sparks. All of Ethel's eyes that are all over his body just go... I think he's giving you the eye

what's that rom-com rom-com drop you have it's like the kiss me music oh yeah I've got that a witch and a mercenary meet in a flood we bat all our eyes

at each other. All over my body. I have no idea whose turn it is. Let's say Atticus to round out round three. What do you got, Atticus? Oh, boy. Okay, then Atticus is going to release the power contained within his arcane bonded object.

Around his neck hangs a talisman of revealing, an amulet of cosmic knowledge that is dangerous to behold. of cosmic knowledge that is dangerous to behold. And he uses it very rarely, and I didn't want to use it here, but I feel like this is life or death. And this thing starts to twist. And it unlocks, and then

through it bursts a full slate of magic missiles. Oh, cool! At the one right in front of Ethel Merman. That is a four to start. That is a three. Nice! Come on! I lost

my D4. And another three. So that's 13 points of damage! Yeah! Gone! Yeah! Yeah! Awesome. Thank you for those that said Brooklyn Joe.

A lot more Brooklyn Kate fans. It's all right. This is Kate country. I'm not going to let it hurt my ego. I do rule the entire North. We don't need to immediately be competitive with each other. We can both rule together. That's true. I like this. Well, Kate is moving on Monday, so you'll be the with each other. We can both rule together. That's true. I like this.

Well, Kate is moving on Monday, so you'll be the only reigning... Wait, were you talking to Ethel? Did I just embarrass myself? As long as the North can be sovereign, then we can rule together. And as long as our rule is based upon haunting child's dreams,

I'm in. See? This is great. You're also going to be devouring their souls. Oh, right. Devouring souls. It only makes us stronger. Yeah. You gotta do what you gotta do. And... And that, grandson,

is how the King of the North and the queen of New Game, Houdis, got together and brought together the two kingdoms before the great doom. The end. Grandpa, I don't understand any of this story. Do you have any actions left? I'm picturing Peter Falk reading that story to Fred Savage. And in the end, the king of the north and the queen of New Game Mootis

lived happily ever after. That's your Peter Falk impression? Peter Falk. And the king of the north. I have one eye. Do you have any other actions left? I know, that was a three action John Jamski. I'm having so much fun.

All right, there's a lot left here. There's one of these creatures left. It's enfeebled, so it enfeebly tries to strike out at Aldo. That is going to be a fucking 30 to hit, dude. That is a hit. You guys need some healing and fast. Oh my god. Rocks!

16 points of electricity damage. And then it starts to slide around you to get to your friends and will attack Eris. Eris! That's going to be a 25 to hit.

Yeah, you hit me. That's exactly right. Not happy about it. Well, join the club. I rolled a complete wrong dice. Alright, that's going to be only 11 points of electricity damage.

Okay, you're fine. Can you guys finish this creature this round, Aldo? No. No. Yeah, if you're asking, no. I'm going to throw... All right, I'm going to throw another... Well, actually, wait.

First, I am going to take a... I'm going to throw another... Well, actually, wait. First, I am going to take a... I'm going to swallow a potion. I'm going to take a potion, an elixir of life, minor, to give myself a little bit of a health boost there. So... You drink a minor. Okay. All right.

Yes, I'll give it to her later. Jeepers. All right. That's seven points of healing. that's seven points of healing. That's seven points of healing. I will take that. And then I'm going to throw Elcus Fire. Boom.

Oh, my God, that is a 90, 19. What's the total? That is a 35. Okay. Hit, not a crit, but I need the flint check. Right, shit. That is a 19 again. Okay. Hit not a crit, but I need the flint check. Right. Shit. That is a 19 again.

Boom. Whoa. Back to back 19s. Show me what you got. Okay. That is 14 points of fire damage. Now we're talking. Okay.

And with my last action, I'm going to again try to help Ethel. It's like, no, seriously, listen, stab it in the fucking mouth, whatever. Okay, and that is a crit. So that's plus four on your attack. Okay. All right. Mouth, mouth, mouth. It's your turn.

Okay. Ethel's going to step up. Okay. And I'm going to step up. Okay. And I'm going to do a double slice. You really need to show up this round. I've already... Didn't I kill one earlier? No. No.

Aeris killed all. Aeris did. In a couple days, you will be the only one among us who still lives in this horrible burrow. Will you do it justice with these rolls? God, I hope so. Thank you. Three people are cheering for you.

Okay, on the Warhammer, no. Have you taken that plus four? I rebelled on the flat check. Oh, yeah, the flat check is a killer. The flat check is killing me I would have hit you almost every time That time I

Passed the flat check and that is going to be A 24 to hit It's a miss Oh Is it plus 4 on every roll I mean miss. Is it plus four on every roll? I mean,

so this is like, it's two actions, but it's a single sort of event. So, I mean, if it was me running the game, which of course I'm not, I would say, sure. We could also say I failed on the flash attack so I couldn't see it.

So when I went with the second strike and I was able to see it, then I applied the plus four. Right. You know, what we're doing is we're having him pre-roll these, but it's actually a reaction, this aid, which is supposed to aid one action.

Right. Roll a die to see which one he aids? What? We roll a die, 50-50, to see which one he aids in. So you're not going to use the one that you initially failed on?

You want to use the one that would turn into a hit? I just want to make sure we're clear with this. I failed a... We can roll a die for shits and giggles. I failed a flat check.

Uh-huh. I didn't say I failed it. I didn't say I missed. I see. Okay. Yeah, let's roll a die. 50, what works? I want to roll a D100. Okay. And I want you to roll a die. 50. What works? I want to roll a D100.

Okay. And I want you to roll a 51 or higher. All right. 47. Oh, my God. Never say that I'm not fair. You may continue your shitty rolling. I feel like Joe must feel all year long.

Yeah. I see it in your eyes. I see the failure in your eyes, and I recognize myself. As he said, every day he wakes up, and he's got to be me. It's still true. All right. We know Ethel cannot do anything for us,

and will never do anything for us. Let's see if we can finish it off another way. It is... Are you done over there? I killed some stuff last week. You did. You sure did, buddy. We didn't play last week.

You sure did, buddy. Eris, you're up. Okay. So she's looking at... Now that is better. Yeah, that's a good costume. Troy has covered his head with his White Claw can costume, so it literally looks like we're being jammed by a White Claw costume.

But let's point out that the can does not actually say White Claw. It says white clam. Yes. Knock off white claw. Yeah. Yeah. Are you ready to party? I'd love to play with a can of white clam.

This is a dream come true. I love white clam sauce. That's great. All right, what do you do? So, yeah, she looks over at Ethel, and although she's, like, turned on by all your eyes and you talking about skulls and stuff, she's also pretty frustrated that you're not hitting anything.

And she has to, like, use her final level one spell slot for magic missiles instead of anything else I prepared for that slot. Hey, you know what, though? You're burning low-level spell slots, and you're doing the only significant damage of the party, so... I'm sorry. A girl has to do what a girl has to do.

And you know what? I just hear you talking shit about your wife or ex-wife since I've met you, and just maybe... maybe she's a little bit right. That's like being on a first date and just talking about your ex the whole time. Yeah, it's true.

Dude, this entire relationship escalated and fell apart in 12 seconds. It's so true, it's so true. In 12 game seconds. 12 seconds. Yeah. This is like a really tightly compressed episode of Below Deck. No, it's pretty standard. That's true.

That's how it usually goes. Okay, yeah. Same John. Three missiles. Nice. We can share culture. Culture. A three, a two, and a two.

All right, three, four, five, six, seven, plus three. Ten points of damage to this dude, this enfeebled will-o-wisp. Yeah. Good lord. We're going to be here until midnight. Are we anywhere near where you thought we would get to? Nope.

I just love how your mind works. Like, the most impossible creature to fight in a timely fashion. An invisible, constantly incorporeal, flat-check creature. We'll burn through that in the first 15 minutes. And then we'll move on. We'll burn through that in the first 15 minutes. I really thought you guys would cook. We're literally going to double the dice rolls and we'll have a 50-50 chance each roll that you won't hit.

And I'm sure that won't happen. In my defense, I wasn't planning on a love story. It is Atticus's turn. It's a love story, Troy, baby. You can't prepare for love. You're right. You know what, Kate? You're right.

I know. It's very wise words. Atticus is so... You can't prepare for love. You're right. You know what, Kate? You're right. I know. It's very wise words. You can't prepare for love. He's so useless right now. Atticus is going to... Did you dye your beard? I did. Unlike others sitting right next to me, I committed.

You know what's funny is you didn't dye it. Why am I being dragged every time? I was talking about White Claw over here. Take it easy, Mr. Defensive. I will say you didn't dye it to change its color. You dyed it to make it actually look like a real man's beard. Yes. I dyed it to make it look like a young man's beard.

I was putting it on backstage and I was like, oh, hello. Those greys just went away. It's like Walt Frazier now. It's awesome. Yeah. I'm very excited about this. Is that Ricardo Montalban over there? Yeah.

For the audio audience, I'm dressed as John Snow. I stab at thee. What do you do, dummy? Oh, I'm going to do something I meant to do every turn and forgot every single time because I think it's so important. There's big news in the Glass Cannon Network

that has not been shared with everybody. You folks here who are live here saw him come up on stage earlier tonight. Our good buddy, McD is also here and I'm here to tell you officially as of November 1st he is joining the Glass Cannon Network

as a full-time employee and he will be your community manager. He's going to be hanging out with everybody and helping us grow the network. So thank you, McD, wherever you are. McD! He's probably backstage working his ass off because he's an unbelievable guy. Oh, sweet.

That's true, probably. Awesome. They yelled, he's getting you pizza. Wait, for real? Yeah. Okay. That's one thing Brooklyn does right. That's true.

That is true. All right, let's... I don't know what to do, honestly, so I'm just going to go quick and get this over with. I am going to... Kill it. I'm going to aid. And I'll try to aid Ethel with...

What would you do? I mean, you have to just pick anything and just, like, make it up? You've got to make a case for whatever it is that you're? You've got to make a case for whatever it is that you're trying. You have to make a case for whatever it is that you're trying to do. Are you a master in any skill? Yes,

I am. I'm a master of Arcana. Hey, you know, we already made that. You have solid precedent behind you here. Yes. This is a common law. While you were in the bathroom, and I approved it. Okay, great. So then as a master of Arcana, he is going to feed Ethel this information that will hopefully, you know, describe the creature's location a little bit better so that maybe that flat check will be better.

I can't see it, guys. I know. He shares his detect magic ability with him. Let me just... Well, now, wait. You should wait, because you're right. It is technically a reaction. So you should wait until his attack and then roll.

You should announce it now. I already rolled it, so I will save that roll. And then I'm going to cast shield on myself. And then I'm going to run away. Wait, are we boxed in? Is this like a wall that I can't get past over here? Is that like a drop-off? No, no, you can hop over that.

You're spry. Okay. So he's just going to move away a little bit. Okay. Sweet. Cool. Then that's the end of round four. It is now round five, and this thing still gets to go.

So first, it's going to attack Eris with my neon green. Oh, just rocks all night. 33 to hit. Oh, no. That's a crit. Oh, really? My AC is 23.

Yeah, that's what we call in the business a crit. Oh, no. You've literally done that for every roll. 36 points. Oh, no. I'm good. Don't worry.

I'm fine. I'm going to walk it off. I can hear the confidence exuding through your voice. You'll live forever. Second attack is on Ethel Merman. Ooh, that's going to be close. That's going to be real close. 29 to hit.

That hits. Oh, Ethel. Oh, Ethel. Sad sack. That is going to be 16 points of damage. And then it is going to just fly away. Does that provoke an attack of opportunity? In fact, it does.

Oh! Look at you. Well, I'm sure you'll do something. So Ethel is just like, he's trying to wipe the green haze and the water splashing off of his glasses Can't see anything Can I use my thing now? Yeah, do it now

Okay, so plus four in my attack I'm going to re-roll Use my hero point to re-roll my Yes! We call them bottle caps But I'll allow it He's changing dice for a different Okay, okay.

So, that is a plus four from you. Yep. Okay, that's going to be... Would you get to the good part? 35 to hit. To hit. Hit, not a crit. Okay, that's going to be 17 points of damage.

Whoa! Now, did you move to the creature that's now 15 feet away from you? It was a reaction. Oh, this was the reaction. It's a reaction. Okay, how many points of damage? 17. What was the flat shark?

16. It's dead. Yeah! Yeah! Did I hit it? Did I hit it? I can't see anything. Yes, you finally hit it? Did I hit it? I can't see anything. Yes, you finally hit it.

It's dead. Okay. Well done. I'll admit that wasn't my best show. Well, they are an extremely, extremely elusive creature and ruin gaming tables worldwide. I was just being tough last time. Does anyone have any healing?

I'm pretty hurt. I'm pretty hurt too, actually. I do. Help. Here. On my turn, I'll give you a little... Wow, is this the regional theater production of Max Cannon's Pathfinder game?

What? I do. Yeah. What do you give her? You guys are out of combat right now. Oh, we are? All right. Okay. We were just watching Blackadder season one

a couple weeks ago in the hotel room There was one They come, this witch has been burned Does anyone know what happened here? I don't It's so fucking funny So I keep repeating it That was a really fun night

I thought I was dying for most of it I know, yeah, you were pretty sick Well I wasn't, but I thought I was dying for most of it. I know. Yeah, you were pretty sick. Well, I wasn't, but I thought I was. Right. We had a good time regardless. What do you guys do here? You look ahead in the mist and you see in the distance in the distance

shapes starting to form. You saw it when you first came up, but you got distracted when these will-o'-wisps attacked. You see what looks like half a dozen or so shapes starting to come towards you into the mist and starting to

come into focus. Some of you are very hurt. Do you do any type of healing whatsoever or buffing? What do you do? Quick! Matthew, what do you do? Do you have any more healing? Yeah, I pass out. I make a quick elixirs of life, and I hand out one to each of you. Oh, amazing.

Well, it's not great. It's 1d6 plus 1. Oh, that isn't great. It's not. That's a real good way to describe that. I want to level up so I can get a better option. All right, so what you do is you quickly make these elixirs and just start handing them out to people, and you guys chug it, and you get one D6 plus one.

Guaranteed Joe rolls a one and gets two hit points back. Joe, could you roll that D6 real quick? No. I got this. Well, if we have enough time, I can give you, like, two each. Do we have, like, only rounds? Well, let's roll this and see what happens. Well, let's roll enough time, I can give you, like, two each. If we have enough, like, two rounds. Yeah, do we have, like, only rounds? Or do we have, like, a minute? Well, let's roll this and see what happens.

I rolled a two. Well, let's roll this and see what happens. That's not good at all. Six. Yeah. All right. The king in the north. The king in you.

All right. Woo. Eris, what do you do during all this? While Aldo's quickly making these elixirs and these shadows are starting to emerge from the mist? What do you do? She's more of a death person and not like a keeping things alive person.

Okay. So she drinks the little soda that you made her and gains three hit points. Okay. Do you do anything to help the party? Healing myself, I think, is trying to help the party. Yeah. I like the cut of your jib. Other than that.

You're not built to, like, blast healing spells or you have any potions? No, absolutely not. No, no, no, no. Do you have no absolutely not no no no no any potions on your person that you can check okay uh what's your name atticus what do you do anything do you have any potion ah man i am scouring oh this is what we should do if someone's coming in for like one session and they're building their character. We just have them take that character building wealth, whatever it is, and spend it all

on potions and stuff we can use. Just like here, just throw them all out and then die. You know what, Skid? A good friend

would have done that. I spent it on bracers to boost my AC, which didn't fucking matter. Give it to me! No, it didn't. Every round, Troy was like, I don't know, 29?

I don't know. 34? Every single round. I haven't rolled below 16 in a month and a half. Maybe once. It's such an amazing comment. Do you do anything? No? King of the North? I'm an indecisive king.

I'm in quite a lot of pain right now. Ethel is holding on to the crenellated tower for support. They electrocuted me like 17 times. Aldo, did you do two Johns or just one?

Two each. Two each. Oh, okay. I'll buy another one. Ethel, you can have my Two each. Oh, okay. I'll roll another one. Here we go. Ethel, you can have my other one. Oh, thanks. Oh, I appreciate that. Sometimes when we're two

When your honesty is two I rolled a two for the one you gave me, Joe. Can we, like, try to perceive if this is going to be another fight? Yeah, dude. Oh, I think it's going to be a fight. Or like detect magic and stuff. Can I do...

Oh, wait, wait, wait. I am going to do something. I have an idea. Fuck it. They're coming toward us, right? Yes, you see these shapes starting to come into view through the mist. Alright, he's going to say, come closer!

Get together! Move yourselves on the map. He wants to squeeze everybody into a box, essentially, like a ten by ten. So, impossible. I guess, I don't know. We just need to squeeze into a... Oh no, they're Impossible. I guess. I don't know.

We just need to squeeze into... Oh, no, they're in with intent. See this wall? The water's coming over. Ethel can stand right to the left of Alvin. It's fine. It's actually fine. They're fine where they are. Man, I'm just gonna cast everything I got. I'm gonna go ahead and cast Invisibility Sphere.

Ooh! And say, don't move until you need to. And we all vanish. Okay. We seem to just completely disappear. How big is this sphere? It's a ten-foot aura emanating from me. Okay.

So as long as you're within ten feet of me, you are invisible. And we can all see each other. Nice, Troy. Look at that quick aura work. Troy's an old hand at this. As everyone knows, I'm a master of Roll20. All right, so you drop this invisibility sphere.

At that moment, you see these shapes emerge they are coming from far away and from below and they're rising up floating in the air you see four more of these shades that you fought downstairs that you made quick work of just just flying through the mist, these amphibian creatures that are translucent, ghosts, perhaps, of the citizens of Ib that were wiped out by these people of Sarnath. But in the middle is a fifth one that looks a little bit different, and it rises up, and above its head,

it is holding a statue, and above its head it is holding a statue. A loft. There it is. Do you want to go long tonight? Okay, when are you leaving Brooklyn? You got another ten minutes? I mean, I can go until Monday. Alright, we're going long!

We're going long! We're going long! We're going long! So good to launch, because we're going long! We're going long! We're going long! So good to launch,

because we're going long! It's fun to dance it's gonna go long. It's fun to dance in a can. Roll for initiative. Alright. Oh my goodness. Roll for initiative. Let's see these some bitches. Here's the first one.

Sha-con-con-ca-goo. Here's the next one. Scooby-dooby-doo. And then this-Doo. And then this one over here. And then another one over here. And then this is the one that is holding the Isle of Loft. He looks a little different. Yeah, he does. Because I steal these from the internet.

Let's see what he looks like. Oh, wow. Frog people. Frog people. And they're flying. It's like crab. It. Frog people. Frog people. And they're flying. Frog crab. It's like, people. They're flying.

Aldo, what did you roll? 21 for Aldo. 21. Atticus. 30 for Atticus. Much better. Ethel. 34. 34 for Ethel. 34.

34 for Ethel. Eris. 10. Eris. I rolled a natural one on my GCP die. Oh, no. So I blame all of you. Be sure to buy your own glass case.

I'm available in the merch store after the show. Eris of the Man of Wastes rolls a 10. Nope. Anyway, you know I have it. I can imagine what would happen. It is Ethel's turn. Ethel, you were red hot in that last battle.

Can you fly? I cannot. What would you like to do in your invisibility sphere? Hold. Wait. Atticus whispers to you. Ethel will hold. They can't see us.

Okay. Ethel will hold. They can't see us. Okay. Ethel will hold. Cool. Exciting. To ready, you spend two actions to have one to do one, have one action? I believe so. That is correct. I'll hold. I'll hold. It's probably more viable. You will delay, is the term you will use. It is a free

action, and you can jump into the initiative whenever you would like. Forgive me. I delay. I don't do it as often as you. I don't know the terminology. How dare you. It is Atticus's turn. Atticus, what do you do? Atticus double checks

a rule. No! No! And then he casts fly on Ethel Merman. Oh, yes. And now you can go, but wait until the

perfect moment. They don't know we're here. Do you still have what? Do I still have the eyes all over my body? Yeah, I'll say because it's more fun for you to have it.

This is an increasingly weird situation. So, yes, now you can fly, but he says, wait until the perfect moment. They can't see us. Well, he doesn't know that.

Oh, in fact, I will use that for my last action. What's your last action? Knowledge check on these guys. Or, you know what, let's do knowledge check on the new creature that looks a little bit different than the others. Okay. What should I be rolling? You can roll religion

if you have it. You probably don't. But, you know, a good arcana roll, or maybe even Society. Perhaps you read about the citizens of Ib in the Dreamlands. I have all of them. So, like, is there one that's the best? Religion would be best, but Society would be second best. Okay, then I will roll Religion.

Let's get it. Come on. That is a 24. Okay. Well, you fought these regular shades downstairs, and you know they have DR5, or not even DR5, Resistance 5 or Resistance 10 against non-magical. But looking at this other one,

this seems to be like a priest of these people. So he's a little stronger, maybe a little higher resistances, and maybe, just maybe, he can cast spells. Yeah. The one in the back, he said, Priest, you will cast spells at us. Be quick.

You will cast a spell on us. Yeah, he's just trying to keep his voice. I don't know, trying to buy time if they can't see us. There's no indication they can see us. Bide your time. Once one of us attacks, the invisibility sphere will be gone. Well, I don't know if that's true if Ethel leaves the sphere and attacks. But if we attack from within the sphere, it ends it for everyone.

Yeah, I would think if Ethel leaves, he's on his own. Right. But I think if you attack from within the sphere that it would make it. That's how I read it, but I didn't read it. Truth be told. We're going long. We're going long. Is that the end of your turn? That is. Alright, Ethel, do you want to fly like a hero towards

these enemies? No. Okay. You're gonna hold. That's not what I'm paid for. You're gonna hold, okay. Well, these shades begin to go, and one of the ones to the far north just begins slowly coming over the wall, and it comes over the wall,

and it lights. And this is part of it. We can stand on these faces, right? Yeah, like see where the water is rushing? That's all standable terrain. Yeah, that's all standable. They're floating in the air, but this one came flying over like that.

And then you'll see that a couple others follow suit. The other one, it looks like they're looking for something, and they're flying over. Body's just laying in this water as it laps over the edge. And then it goes to Aldo's turn. What a tough situation. Yeah, this is tough. I really...

I mean, not to give it away to Troy, but I would love... I would listen. I would love to be... There's a situation to happen where two of them are adjacent to each other, so my bombs would do a little more damage. Yes, yes.

But... They'll definitely eventually bunch up. Oh, man. Okay, I'm actually... We're going long. but they'll definitely eventually bunch up oh man okay I'm actually we're going long I'm going to go outside of the sphere I'm listening oh I see you

and he's going to throw a ghost charge at the thing closest to him oh you son of a bitch okay fire when ready charge at the thing closest to him. Ooh, you son of a bitch. Okay. Fire when ready. Okay. That is a 26. 26.

So you move. You throw this ghost touch, because you know that these things have resistance to all damage 5, but ghost touch gets through. And a 26 is a hit. Yes! Okay. That's seven points of positive energy damage,

and it is enfeebled one. Oh, seven points of positive energy damage, and enfeebled one. Let me get my little muscles going. One more action? Yeah, I have one more action, and I'm going to try to assist Ethel Merman again. I'm going to use a society check this time.

Going back to that well. Ask it to dance! Oh, okay. That is a 25, which I think is a crit, right? For an aid check. I think if you're five over the DC, I think it's a... DC's 20. No, it would be 30 would be the crit.

Okay, okay. Well, that's plus one. Okay. A little plus one bone. Again, we did it before instead of the reaction, but I don't really care. We're all friends here. Who cares? Except Randy.

No, we're all friends. All right, Aldo, hell of a round. You see that other shade just... Come. This is so scary. We're just like huddling in the sphere. These ghosts are just converging on us. Anyone ever seen Garfield Halloween?

Oh, that's terrifying. It's great. It's really scary. I make my son watch the really scary part with the old man in the chair. Yeah, it's messed up. It's freaky. But the pirates, this is what's happening. They're coming over the wall here and they're just like sniffing out.

Do they see you? Eris, your turn. What do you do? Okay. Do these people, frogs, look like they are resistant to spells also?

Your friends, I imagine they can free action tell you they're not resistant to spells, but they do have a resistance to all damage five except force, ghost touch, or positive, and then double resistance against non-magical, which shouldn't affect you at all. So if you have any force spells, ghost touch spells,

or positive energy spells, you don't have to worry about that resistance. Otherwise, even the greatest of to worry about that resistance. Otherwise, even the greatest of your spells will take resistance. I'm going to cast Mirror Image on myself. Cool.

Taking a page out of Slow O'Brien's book. Hey, listen, I've got 19 hit points after all of that. Yikes. You won't be back. Whoa. So, right. So there's three images now.

I don't have to roll for that or anything. And then I'm going to use a focus spell. So you see her cast something on herself. What? And maybe you'll find out what that is and maybe you won't. Okay. Wow. Okay. Try and hit me and maybe you will. Don't tempt me with a good time. Alright, so you

just cast mirror image. I like it. I like it a lot. Ethelaticus, anything you guys want to do there? You already took your turn. I took my turn. Okay. Ethel, you're still good here? Holding for now. At that moment.

Oh, no. A few hundred feet away, again, these green mists that are, like, sticking to your skin make it hard to see what's happening

in the distance. You know, beyond the fact that these creatures have emerged 30, in the distance. You know, beyond the fact that these creatures have emerged 30, 40 feet away. You see somewhere from beneath this ocean a hulking Godzilla-like shape. Emerge.

Oh my God, it's the God himself. Oh my god, it's the god himself. Oh my god. And you just see, and you can't see it from where you are really, but you can sense a massive, massive creature emerging from the deep.

And as it emerges, you see it sort of do something and all of a sudden, like, a huge tidal wave washes up and over and through these ghostly shades, not affecting them at all. But smashes into all of you. And you're able to probably withstand most of it as you're thrown back. But the stairs, your only means of getting away, as it were, crumble. Oh, no. Oh, my God.

Wow. So there's no way back in. There's no way back in. We're waking up from here, one way or another. It is Ethel's turn. Ethel, what do you do? So the caster hasn't gone. The priest hasn't gone.

Actually, Ethel, give me a will save. All right. How did the other creature not go? Was that a mistake? It's just waiting. 90-19. What's the total? That would be a 32. So close. That's the total? Uh, that would be a 32.

Mm, so close. That's a fail. Oh, my God. Something about the presence of this creature, the aura surrounding it, is so overwhelming that you become Stupified 8. Oh, my God. Okay. Now I know what you meant. Yeah, okay. Oh my god Okay Now I know what you meant

You are stupefied 8 by the presence of this creature from the deep Take your turn Your thoughts and instincts are clouded Stupefied always includes a value You take a status penalty equal to this value

on intelligence, wisdom, and charisma based checks and DCs including will saving spells, attack for all spell DCs That's the real nut punch, because in order to awaken from this dream, it is a three-action will save. Oh, no. Then you now have a minus eight, too. All right. Being stupefied, Ethel is going to fly

straight at the priest. Yup! Yeah! There you go! Come on! Get this shit done! He's like, ah! Thunder! As he does so, he's gonna sheathe

his hatchet, drop it into the slot on his belt. Because when he reaches the priest, he is going to attempt to disarm to try to knock the statue out of the way. Oh, yes. Awesome. Please add the stupefied condition to your card. I did. It doesn't matter. It's an athletics check against your reflex, DC. Athletics John against my

reflex John. Athletics happens to be my best skill. Oh, come on. Nobody likes the braggart. Don't talk shit, Matthew. Just get it done. Alright, against my reflex DC, that's gonna be 10 plus my reflex save. I'm stalling while I look for it. There it is.

29. Success. Yes! Don't get too excited. Because on a regular success, all you do is weaken your target's grasp on the item until the start of that creature's turn Attempts to disarm the target of that item

Gain a plus two circumstance bonus And the target takes a minus two Straight from the rule book Page 243 Okay If you get a second regular success then Does that Do you knock it free or do you always have to get a critical success

To be able to I don't know that's what's unclear to me it makes it seem like for a critical success you knock the item out of the target's grasp and it falls to the ground in the target's space which for this creature is it just falls into the sea yeah we would

lose it then I kill it he's going to drop it as well but you can always dive in and swim. You can always dive after. There's a lot of things that can happen in this magical game. What's my fly speed from the fly spell? How dare you ask me that question?

I was asking Joe. In front of a live audience. It's equal to your speed or 20 feet, whichever is greater. Let me Google that for you. Okay, so I had to double move, so that's all I can do this turn. Okay. Okay. You fly, and you try to just loosen its grip.

I just try to, like, punch it out of its hands. Atticus, it's your turn. Give me a will save. Something about this unspeakable presence of this creature is so unsettling. Come on, natural 20, Atticus. You need it. Nope. You find yourself... Well, now we need to see if it's a critical....st, natural 20 Atticus. You need it. Nope. You find yourself

stupefied eight. Oh, man. Guys, this is my favorite part of the adventure that I read in the book. I love it. My favorite. Right here. Right here is the best.

What do you do, dummy? The king of the dead! The king of the dead! Oh, God, I hate this. I hate this. I mean... I like dancing in the dark. First you make me do Stupefied 8,

then you're like, your turn! Fuck. I mean, that you're like, your turn. Fuck. I mean, that's all intelligence, everything. I don't really understand how this works. This map. Oh, man, my will save is so bad. Okay.

I don't know. Ethel... Oh, God. You're Stupefied, ain't you? Are you worried about losing this invisibility sphere? No, no. I think that it's arguable that it's just gone. It's so hard to say.

The wording on the thing is very weird. Invisibility sphere says specifically it's like... This is untenable. This is untenable in battle, however. Once an encounter begins, creatures remain invisible until most... until at most the end of the first round, at which point the spell ends.

So I guess it's just over. It's poorly worded. It is poorly worded. Especially with the duration is ten minutes. But, you know, I would say you're still in it right now. That's just GM decisions. Still in it right now. Okay, then I will just...

God, this sucks. I will just end it. I will attack the creature that is in front of Aldo that he had hit. I will just... Yeah, as the water is flowing over, he's just going to take some of the loose debris that is coming over the

wall and fling it at the creature with a John Jamski. A little telekinetic John Jamski. Good. I'm going to try to hit that thing. Fuck, I don't know what to do about this John Jamsky. Short telekinetic John Jamsky. Good. Good. Thank God. I'm going to try to hit that thing. Fuck.

I don't know what to do about this priest. It's too far out. There's nothing I can do. That is a 21 to hit. 21 to hit, but this is physical damage. Obviously, even though you're using a spell to telekinetically throw stuff at it, that is a hit. But it will take. Oh, nice.

Resistance five. You remember when you fought these before, very low AC, but the resistance five, actually, it would be resistance ten because it's non-magical. Okay. That is 19 points of physical bludgeoning damage from the broken stones flying at this thing.

And nine of it gets through. Yeah. Okay. Something. Something. And nine of it gets through. Yeah. Okay. Something, something. And then the shield will drop. The invisibility sphere will drop, and he'll raise a shield. Ooh, a little raised shield?

I didn't even know you had a shield. Yeah, well, a magical shield. A magical shield of force will come up in front of him. The truth comes out. It is Ibshade number two's turn. You might ask, who does number two work for? He just flies towards Aldo.

Oh, no. And brings the doom of Ib upon you with a touch. Ah, it's racking touch comes out at you. Jeepers, rock city. Again, 16 on the die, 29 to hit. That's a hit. You want the good news?

No, it's all bad news. It's going to be 10 points of damage. Okay. But you, like Ethel, also get racked by the doom of Ib. You are doomed one. Okay. Oh, boy.

Doomed one. Ready? Boop! There's my one. If that was a crit, you would have been doomed, too. Okay. It hits you with that, and then it will... It is going to

try and attack you again. Obviously, less chance to hit here. 26 to hit. Yeah, that's a hit. So, my god. My god. You take five points of damage and you're doomed

two. Okay. Jesus. I mean, every hit dooms you another layer. It's very, very bad. This is very funny. At that moment, the priest, the priest of Bokruk in the back takes his turn. He's wise.

And he waited. And he holds the idol aloft over his head and you could almost hear above this squall him speaking in a now dead language as he activates this statue of Bokrog and just energy just washes over

all of you. Everyone give me a fortitude sign. Let me make sure it's not Will. Fuck, I haven't written it. a fortitude save. Let me make sure it's not will. Fuck, I haven't written it. I think it's, wait. Yep, fortitude save.

Does it provoke an attack of opportunity? Since you're casting a spell there, my friend. Is he manipulating? Is that a spell? It's an interact action. Yes. Yeah. That provokes. Will you allow me to use my attack of opportunity

to punch the idol out of his hand with his arm? Oh! If you roll a crit, Oh, yeah. Okay. If you roll a crit, I will say that you can attempt to disarm.

Remember, it's also loose. So you get a plus two. You get a plus two. You get a plus two. And he used his cap. I used my cap, yeah. How embarrassing for you. It was a good idea.

For a minute there, it looked like we might get out of the show on time, or, you know, relatively on time. Time is a flat circle, Matthew. Everyone roll a fortitude save. Hugsicles. 26. 26. Pretty good. Pretty good. 26 pretty good pretty good how'd you do Joey

oh hero point You did not roll a one, did you? No, what a shit stick. No. What did you roll, Matthew? 26? He rolled a six on the first roll, rolled again, got a seven. It's improved. Steady improvement.

You just need four or five more rolls and you, got a seven. It's improved, steady improvement. All right, so... You just need four or five more rolls, and you'll have a success. 26 for Matthew. Would you roll total? 19. I used my hero point, because I rolled a two,

and then I rolled a 10, so it's 24. And Skid? Natural 20. Well, let's start with the critical success. You take no damage. Yeah. Damage?

Matthew and Kate's character takes 26 points of damage. And Atticus takes 52 points of damage. And is dying, too. Oh, my God! Atticus is dying, too. Oh my god! Atticus is dying too. All of you are wracked with pain and you see this creature start to emerge from the mist

with tentacles dripping from its face. It is the great old one, Bo-Krug. Oh no! And we'll see you next week! No! We love you, Brooklyn!

Brooklyn! Kate Stavis, everybody! Kate Stavis! Kenny Cage-Stevins! Thanks for listening to the Glass Cannon Network. For more podcasts and live streams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. And for exclusive shows and content you can't find anywhere else, subscribe today at patreon.com slash glasscannon. you