The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 6 – What Am I Become?

Episode Date: May 31, 2022

We were SOLT OUT at The Bell House in Brooklyn NYC for another raucous installment of Glass Cannon Live! After being welcomed into the chapel by Winter and her merry band of log-lovers, the party found themselves eye to eye with an actual EYE! With the possibility of freedom and clues to who they are just out of reach, the stakes were higher than ever. Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Grant Berger and Matthew Capodicasa as they continue the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Adventure Path! Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/tc_p2DwVy8I Recap 8:32 Gameplay 16:25 For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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all starting at just $99 a month. Stack more, spend less. The Happy Stack, only at Kudo. Conditions apply. Oh, baby! Praise Log! Praise Log! A reading from the first book of Log. Praise Log!

As the prophecies predicted, he ascended the mountain with rough log in hand, and nine days later he descended, and lo, the log was smooth. Praise log! Praise log! There are people working here wondering what the hell is going on. Now we shall undress and perform the orgy of the first log. We joke, but this

is how cults get started. We just keep making a couple jokes about a log, we bring out a prop, and then a year from now, this is how silent Scientology started. It started as a joke. It's funny, when I was a kid, people would give me the side-eye, adults would,

because I think, oh, D&D, it's like a cult. And now... You're right. Should have heeded the many, many warnings. I have a very important question for you tonight, and I want to get serious for a second. I want to get this out of the way right

up top. How are you tonight, Brooklyn? That's what I thought! That's what I thought. That's what I thought. We got a rowdy crowd. Oh, baby, it's Brooklyn, baby. How many of you were at our first live show two years ago with 38 people in the crowd?

Stand up. There were 38 people in the crowd that night. There were 38 people in the crowd that night. At the time of that first live show, we had 99 episodes of our first podcast out. Yes. We now have three, almost four podcasts out. A touring live show. Over 1,200 square feet of office space in Queens. Yes.

And a little booster seat for Matthew everywhere we go. Fits in the overhead compartment. It's in our rider. Isn't he cute? Now listen, we've been to L.A., Philly, Chicago, Dallas, and Portland thus far

on the tour, but this is New York fucking city. I told my wife I'd see her on Monday. Let's get crazy tonight. Yes. I mean it. The sad truth is I'll just stumble home at 4.30 a.m. My wife works on Sundays, so I'll sleep two hours,

then be super dad. Yeah, stinking of booze. Yeah, just, hey, son, let's play a game called Watch Dad Dry Heave. Skid, are you pumped to be here tonight, man? I am. Skid, let me ask you, if you could choose between doing this and doing like a shitty play in front of 40 people, which would you choose?

Oh, man. I was talking to Kevin, our manager backstage. He's like, are you feeling okay? And it's like, I'm a little nervous, but this is nothing compared to the sheer loathing, self-loathing I would feel waiting to go on stage for a play. Like, I hated every choice

I had made, like, up to that point. And this is awesome. This is incredible. Joe and I came to one of your plays once. It was about nine hours long. And you had three lines. And he delivered them with expertise. Thank you. And he came in

in the eighth hour. Yeah, he came in in the eighth hour. Yeah, he came in in the eighth hour. What show was it? I can't remember, but it was so long. I almost threw myself into traffic at intermission. I'll blame you at all. But you were great. Thank you.

You were great. Are you enjoying playing Sheila, the mad scientist? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I think shows like last month were great because it allows you to just role play where none of us know how to play an alchemist. Mechanically, you know. Although they will. I get random rules corrections, as always, from the audience.

Like, you can't do that. It's like, give me five minutes of joy. Put your shit all over my... Oh, you make me feel bad? Grant, you giant goof, how are you? You got a haircut? Look at you. Now, does your hair... I asked her to shut that off before we started. It's just a lot easier to edit with that one.

Does your hair grow like non-giants? Like, does it grow at a normal pace? It grows. I know you. Now I can just. I know you. Now I can just make fun of you. I imagine he has to get a haircut every three days. It's just like,

Grand need haircuts. You should pair up with a little guy and do a buddy cop movie. You and Matthew could do one. Yeah. Well, wouldn't that be great? We'll call it a... We're about the same height,

Troy. No, no, it'll be great. We'll call it Tiny and the Bigs. Detective Lance Tiny. Never thought he'd make it to the NYPD. Custer shot at Matthew

like trying to reach his gun on a shelf. I can't reach my gun. That was until he met Sergeant Dirk Biggs. And Grant comes rolling in. I'll help with that! Drops the gun, obviously.

Shoots, kills the police chief. I don't want to tell tales out of school, but Grant did spill an entire beer backstage like two minutes ago. Seconds ago! But it was with the log. It was with the log. Praise log. Tiny and the Biggs.

Last down the log. Follow the spilled beer. Praise beer. That's taking a turn. Matthew, are you well? Do you not like this tiny and the bigs idea? I mean you know what Troy I don't want to squash your creativity or anything

So just you keep going I think it'll be good This summer I feel good Tiny and the bigs Now what is it like to play at the bell house? I imagine this is the same energy in the room at one of your plays.

Just pure electricity. As people... As people await to hear your words spoken dramatically. Is this what it's like? Thank you. This guy liked it. This guy liked it. I mean, I try to keep my plays less than nine hours.

Okay, well, that's fair. It's a good goal. Joe, how are you, you dirty Irishman? I am so great! Most of you probably know that Joe was the best man at my wedding. Did you guys know that? Yeah, he was the best man at my wedding. Which is ironic, because he is the worst man.

Literally. Like, have you heard the expression, they broke the mold when they made this guy? It's almost as if you were made out of mold. Like, he has such bad luck. The other day I dropped my neon green on the floor and he was like, ha ha, I got it now with his dirty cheese whiz fingers. I'm not even joking he rolled it natural one

like he has he has such aggressive bad luck like I think your parents made a deal with a bridge troll like please

please bridge troll give us a son a son you shall have but he will be cursed with bad luck all trains that he But he will be cursed with bad luck. All trains that he rides on will be delayed. Yes. All games he goes to will be rained out.

And if he ever plays tabletop RPGs. The ultimate. Now that I've sufficiently heard everyone's feelings. There is another way. I just want to tell you this in front of all's feelings... There is another way. I just want to tell you this in front of all these people. There is another way. When I find it, I'll let you know. But I think it's time we get this party started.

These characters are about to have their worlds flipped upside down, and they have already been sufficiently flipped so far since they woke up in this strange place. Guys, sit back. The fun drive has been activated. Oh, yeah. We'll give you a little recap. May all logs be smooth.

Since this adventure began, our heroes have been stumbling around an asylum, trying to figure out how they got there, what this place is, and of course, who they are. Without knowing their actual names, they go by pseudonyms for now. We have Sheila, the mad scientist. We have Best Friend, the coward.

James, the rat wizard. And Mrs. Old Lady. The old lady. After breaking out of a dungeon and making their way upstairs they come in contact with voices behind a barricade voices that differ

from the horrific creatures that had been harassing them thus far but the voices were afraid and unwilling to let the party join them because there's a lot of strange shit going on in this asylum weird extra planar creatures terrifying haunts,

and doppelgangers that can make themselves look like anyone or anything. The voices behind the barricade give the party an option. Go bring back three fresh doppelganger courses, and then maybe

we'll let you join us back here. So we started off last month's session in Portland. Portland. us back here. So we started off last month's session in Portland. Wow, Portland haters in this town. Yeah, a lot of Portland haters.

A couple anti-Portland people. It's more a Portland main crowd. Last session, the party was cleaning up after having killed the third doppelganger they needed to prove themselves. Along the way, though, they met a man chained to a wall, wearing dirty robes with a weird symbol etched on

his head. He could only speak a few cryptic phrases. As they finished their battle, they realized this man who they dubbed Praise Shields, he had run off during the battle. The party was incapacitated. They didn't see him run off. Soon thereafter, they find his body riddled with crossbow bolts

from the aforementioned frightened voices behind the barricade who weren't taking any chances when this madman came running at them. Thankfully, they allow our very lackluster heroes behind the barricade and into a chapel full of people. We have other skills. I've yet to see them. We're different kinds of lustrous. Sometimes ordinary is special, Troy.

On the rare occasion. You guys get in the chapel, you see men, women, young, old, some are sick, some are infirm, and one, for no good reason, holds a lock. The leader of the group, a woman by the name of Winter Klaxa, steps forward and makes an offer to the party. She tells them she knows they probably have many questions. She may not have all the answers, but she does have some. At the moment, however she does have some.

At the moment, however, the survivors in this room need help. The crew aids Winter in the tasks she sets forth. Help a nurse corral a wild patient into taking his medicine. Administer first aid to a child with a broken egg. A broken egg. He was just sitting there. Help!

I don't want to tell you your priorities, but the egg is top on our list. His leg was pretty fucked up too, but it was the egg that needed to cure critical wounds. A praise egg. There's three religious schisms that have happened so far tonight.

That's why he's in the asylum. He never knows what to praise. Praise egg. Help that poor child. He's praising the wrong thing. And then he was with another nurse who was equally in bad shape. They also said, please help us with the cooking and help us with firewood. With the exception of the firewood, you completed the tasks. And Winter walked over with bowls of venison stew

and said, let's talk. And then it was like, info dump, right before the session ended. Here's what's important and what you need to know. The place that you find yourself in is called Briarstone Asylum. You kind of got the sense that it was an asylum. It is. It's located in Versaix County in the principality of Ustalav, which is like, what did you say, Skid? It's like Transylvania, basically.

Yeah, yeah. Recently, a patient by the name that was creepy I was terrified was that Cyrus Cape? she's from Ustalav we have some local Ustalavians here tonight they praise egg recently a patient

by the name of Alvar Zandalus led an uprising in Briarstone. And like the northern halls of this asylum are currently controlled by his followers who go by the name the Apostles in Orpiment. Winter is a sister of the Maiden's Choir Cathedral in Caliphate, which is like the largest city in Ust-Selav. She's a nun. She and her associates were helping a royal accuser investigate strangeness in Thrushmore, which is a county in Ustalav. What strangeness, you ask?

Apparently, the Count of Versex, a man by the name of Hasterton Lowles, recently abandoned his duties. So the royal accuser came to Maiden's Choir Cathedral, and they had reason to believe that Lowell had business here at Briarstone So her associates went off to Threshmore She came here to find out where Lowell's had gone What connection he had to Briarstone

You guys asked about these strange creatures that you've been fighting Where did they come from in all of this? Were they part of the revolt? While she didn't know exactly, she said that the patients and staff who survived and are holed up in this chapel before the uprising even happened, before these creatures even appeared,

they were having nightmares of these exact creatures that you've been fighting. It also appears that the nightmares that you have been experiencing can be suppressed if you rest in this cathedral. And lastly, the reason they are all trapped here and have not found a way out is because there is a wall that has been transformed into something horrific.

And the hallway leading to that wall is covered with a red sheet. And it's not up there. Gray sheet. Gray sheet. That's poor. That's poor. That's a sheet. Literally, you could have pointed

to one of the red curtains. That would have been really scary. Yeah. Oh, man. Oh. Oh, man. Oh. No. Don't do it. No.

No. No. No. Oh, no. It's worse than I could have possibly imagined. Final cap. Is that how games of peek-a-boo with Archie go? Yes.

Simple. Guys, what do you want to do? Yeah, let's do that. I can't hear them. Well, I mean, James has more questions for Winter. We're still standing there talking to her, right? She says, I'm so sorry. Time for questions has expired.

But thank you for playing chapel time with Winter. I must move on to heal no one, get no firewood, and not help my people at all. Right. She's a level negative two cleric. No, what are you thinking?

Well, I think we should rest at least. I think we need to do that before we do anything else. Someone just booed that you wanted to rest. Someone cheered, too, so... It evens out. It evens out. All right, who wants them to rest?

I'm not hearing anything. It's really quiet out there. James wants to... He's just going to say to say, well, when did you arrive? You said that you had been sent to this place to investigate the disappearance of this count. You found it, what, in revolt when you arrived, in revolt after you arrived, or the revolt already all but finished when you showed up? It's an excellent question. vault already all but finished when you showed up? It's an excellent question. I came here and was inquiring on Hasterton Liles, and they were ready to take me to find out more information, but by the time they were ready to really reveal all that they knew, things started happening. Who is they?

reveal all that they knew, things started happening. Who is they? The ones that run the asylum? Yes. Or any of them here? Did they survive? It's possible.

There was Lusandro. Eliade Lusandro was the administrator. I met with her briefly, but I have not seen her. She could be dead, lost. I doubt she has joined this movement. She seemed a capable administrator. But none of the administrators are here in this chapel with you.

No, no, it's mostly weirdos. And there's no other way out besides behind that curtain. Correct. The entryway into the asylum is beyond that wall. That thing that is now there was never there before. It was just a door that led to the admission area. I believe if you can get past whatever that thing is, you could get outside and figure out if there's an escape.

Right now, all the hallways to the north are choked with rubble, and there's no other way out. If we can get past this wall, I believe we can at least see what's outside. Obviously, if you look out the windows, you can see there's strange weather, but on top of that, there is this yellow fog. I do not know how far it encapsulates the island, but perhaps if you could get outside somehow, we could best determine if there's a way off this island. Have any of you suffered any ill effects

from looking at the wall or it looking at you? No. But in truth, we have not spent much time. The minute we saw this thing start to grow, we covered it for For the children's sake, we did not want to frighten them. While this conversation is happening,

Sheila is just walking towards the curtain. Outside the hall? Yeah. And he just... Where did Sheila go? And he just pulls it aside. He pulls it aside. He pulls the curtain aside. And... Where did Sheila go? And he just pulls it aside. He pulls it aside. He pulls his curtain aside. A couple of things are going to happen.

Let's go ahead and put Sheila right up to that curtain. By the way, check out these pawns or tokens for Roll20. They're the actual artwork from our posters created... How badass is that? This girl who does our posters, her name is Angeline Babcock.

She just emailed me the other day and she was like, hey, I was bored and I made these. And I'm like, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen. No one I work with ever does anything good. Thank you, Angeline. Thank you. We literally got several emails about it from Troy. Yes. I was like,

be like her. Did you check it yet? Did you look at them yet? Be like her, I said. First, let me show you what you see behind that wall. This should work, yes? Grant, why don't you zoom that out and give us a little look. Oh. Oh, no. Oh.

Holy shit, it's like a face wall. A face only a mother could love. Sheila, as you're walking up there, you can see that the hallway does end beyond this dingy makeshift curtain, but this wall has suffered some sort of otherworldly parasitism. There is a mass of stringy yellow

fungus stretching across the stone blocks, and at its heart, bulges and blinks a watery eye. Okay. The size of a wagon wheel. Why are you so sad? Wall, why are you so sad?

Because people... The wailing wall. People littered in this cathedral. Oh, sorry. Skid is terrified. Sheila's not. Yes. Sheila, like, kind of, like, ducks down and, like, looks the eye right in the pupil.

It's like, hello, where'd you come from then? And he, like, reaches out to, like, touch the cornea of the eyeball. Yes, yes, yes! So you reach out to touch the cornea of the eye, and as you do, you just hear... This sad weeping sound, like... And as you go to touch it, it sprouts fangs and just and just goes to attack you.

Oh, man. And misses. But after it misses, two things happen. All of a sudden, three overlapping drowned-sounded voices cry out over each other. It's just like, Who am I become? Who am I become? And then it cries a gigantic tear

that stinks of ammonia. Oh, no. And you see the fangs like recede, but they're getting ready to come back. Guys, we are in initiative and I've already rolled it. For all of us? For all of you. Guys, we are in initiative, and I've already rolled it. For all of us? For all of you.

Oh, man. James, you notice that Sheila's gone. You are where you are on the map. What would you like to do? We're in initiative. We're not rolling. Yeah, I've already pre-rolled it. It's the only reason I asked for your character sheets this week.

Oh, right. Oh. All right, well, he'll hear this growl, and I can't see myself on the map, so he's going to go out to where Sheila is. Okay. Just make a move out there and see what he sees. So you walk out there and you see that.

Ah! How far can you move? He can move 20 feet. 20 feet. All right, I'm going to bring you back to the map here. Let's have you move your 20 feet. Well, this is starting off great. Oh, it's Nick Lowe. It's Nick Lowe. Oh, no. Nick, you know that we're not doing shots. Oh, it's only 7. that we're not doing shots?

It's only 7.23. I know. It's so early. Praise shots. Praise shots. Oh, they're from... Oh, George. Oh, great. James, you can move 20 feet, but it's not going to get you all the way there.

Do you want to double move and go right up to it? Let me do a little reveal action here of the area behind the curtain. I was just going to say that 20 feet is right behind Sheila. Okay, well, Sheila's already right up at the wall. Oh, okay, so past the curtain, up to the wall. Gotcha. I don't even know what's going on yet. Well, you see the wall.

Do you want to roll some sort of check? Yeah, yeah. So would it be knowledge planes, knowledge... I would allow planes, arcana, even religion for something like this. All right. I'll do arcana. It's not knowledge local. I'll tell you that.

17. Arcana. 17 arcana. All right. You see... What is the look on Sheila's face when he comes rolling up behind you? Oh, look at this. Look at all the found, eh?

You see like teeth receding into the eye as you walk up. And with that knowledge arcana, whatever happening here is obviously otherworldly, and it seems you hear the cry as well, that Yeah.

It's some sort of haunt. Okay. So he'll say, Yeah. It's some sort of haunt. Okay. Ah, okay. Oh. Okay. So he'll say, Sheila, step away from it.

It is going to try to infect your mind. No, it's harmless. You're completely sane and well put together mind. Thank you. Likewise, I'm sure. Yeah, that's all he's going to do. He's just going to move for right now. He doesn't want to attack it in case he provokes some ire on Sheila he doesn't intend to.

Ire. Get it? Eye. Shut up. Boom. I thought it was pretty good. It's early. It's early. Stretch it.

The wall goes to bite Sheila again. That is going to be a 16 to hit. That is a hit. All right, so it sprouts fangs and bites you for five points of damage.

And again, who am I become? Become. Become. So weird. Who am I? Become. Become. Huh.. Who am I? Become. Become.

Huh. It is now best friend's turn. Best friend looks down into his heart and thinks, why didn't I get a different best friend in the show? And then best friend swallows deep his Adam Apple oop, and he rushes forward to about 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. Adjacent to Sheila, but not quite adjacent to the wall. Uh-huh.

Best friend says, Sheila, please, I've dealt with the monster of old, but I'm currently diminished. I can't come back this way, come back this way. And that's his turn. Okay. Yeah! Nice! Man, we have some sweet turns going on right now. That's all I can do. Well, you guys were far away.

Sheila went rogue. Mrs. O'Lady, what are you gonna do? Mrs. O'Lady is gonna dash around the corner, up to stand next to James. Okay. And she's gonna cast Detect Psychic Significance on the wall. Oh, nice. I will tell you this. Good answer.

It is significant. And you know it psychically. This is definitely an important part of the adventure. And then I will do a knowledge check, you dick. That'd be good too, yeah. 22. 22. 22, which kind of knowledge? Oh, I'll do Arcana, so 23.

All right, so when you guys came here, you woke up in a dungeon, you saw a doctor performing some sort of gross surgery on someone that was not willing. That doctor then turned into a doppelganger. You've now fought other strange creatures, zoogs, giant centipedes,

beheaded floating hands and heads. Something has infected this asylum from another plane of existence. And this wall is literally living proof of this sort of schism between worlds. Do I get the sense that this is a portal of some kind, or if it's just kind of an effect of the schism? More of an effect.

Uh, cool. Now, where it is a haunt, you would know, as players of Pathfinder, that you can affect haunts by applying positive energy to it. Now, you can't channel, but you can use cure spells, but you have to be able to touch. It's AC 10 to touch,

unless it has other special characteristics. So that is an option, but it does put you right up next to its fangs. We're going into the next round. It's Sheila's turn. Sheila, best friend told you, back off. Well, Sheila's in. Sheila, best friend told you, back off. Well, Sheila's in pain now. So he's like, all right.

So he leans in close to best friend. He says, get me a sample. And he pulls away. He moves away 30 feet. Sheila pulls away. It does not attack you as you move away from it. James. Joe, all you have to do is think of something creative.

God damn it. This should be right in your wheelhouse. Just make a real creative decision that might save the day. James is going to say, fuck it. Pull out his crossbow, load it, and fire it right into the middle of the eye.

All right. See if it does anything. Roll to hit, bro. Get and pull out his crossbow, load it, and fire it right into the middle of the eye. All right. See if it does anything. Roll to hit, bro. Get that bullseye, O'Brien. Come on. I bet you it was AC 10. Does it have an AC of 10?

Roll a 9. God. What'd you roll, a 9? 9. Adjusted. A 10 might have hit it. Oh. God. What'd you roll, a nine? Nine. Adjusted. A ten might have hit it. Oh, God. How do you miss a wall?

It's literally a wall. You, like, fired and the ball went back in the chapel. Mr. Lady, I'm sorry. It went right through the egg. Huh? Yeah. Oh, no. It is the wall's turn. The wall just sits there, just crying ammonia, as walls often do.

It is best friend's turn. Best friend is going to say, well, I can't change best friends now, and I've got to get a sample for him. And he takes a five-foot step and takes a swing with the plus-one dagger he received last episode with a super-heavy tungsten die Eli sent back to me backstage. Let's see how it rolls in a prayer to Phrasma. Goes out. A five on the tongue. Oh, no!

Thanks for nothing! Phrasma has deserted you. So what's the total, though? Total is ten. Ten. That's it. All right, so you strike it. Oh, fantastic.

All right. Six points of damage. Ooh. Magical damage. Look at him tracking that HP. Wow. It looks completely unaffected. Anybody here play Strange Aeons?

You guys know about this wall? Yeah! Shut up. Don't ruin it for them. They're not great at this game. I don't care if the whole night is just this wall. He's good

at playwriting. Write a play about this wall. All right, it is... What's your character's name? Best friend? It's Mrs. O'Lady's turn. Wow us, Capitacasa. Mrs. O'Lady is going to say...

What did it say again? What am I become? What am I become? You are become a wall. He's great at path, I bet. That's good. There's more. There's more.

What were you before? Oh. Good question. Good question. Good answer. Good answer. Show me what have you become! Survey says...

I was a log. Oh, no! It doesn't respond. All right, then I'll hurl. It just keeps pulsating on your heart. Skid like this. Oh, don't do that to me just keeps, like, pulsating on your heart. Skid, like this. Oh, don't do that to me. Do you want to feel it on your back?

No, no, don't you dare. Grant, do it to me. Touch him. Yeah. Skid, it's just a giant pulsing eye on a wall. I want a new neighbor. You're going to fire at it, or what are you going to do? I'm going to walk up and ready in action.

Okay. That when best friend clears, I'm going to close the curtain. Ah. Okay. It is Sheila's turn. Sheila, you backed away from this thing after it bit you. Sheila's going to do a Knowledge Arcana also.

That is a 28. All right, so you learn pretty much what Mrs. O'Lady's already learned. This is some infection from the melding of these two planes of existence. And it feels like something connected to these dreams you've been having as well. The one extra

tidbit of information I'll give you is like the what am I become sounds like a real plea for information. For a resolution. What am I become? A wall! Evidently that's the wrong answer.

All right. It is... Do you want to try anything? Yeah. Sheila is going to walk back up to the wall. Good, good. No, I really do want to get a sample. And as he moves, he pulls out his sickle,

and he tries to shave off a little bit of the yellow fungus. Okay. You can just do it. And it's just like... No, don't. Just take a moment. No need to cry. No. As you're shaving it off, and you can see as you're doing it, the fangs are growing out of the

eyeball uh james oh james is going to what am i become he's going to try to answer the best way he knows how he's going to say you want to know are you sure you can handle it? Prepare yourself, for I will show you what you've become. And he's going to cast Silent Image, and he's going to put it in front of it. Oh, nice. Yeah! Wow. A mirror? Beautiful.

Oh, is that what the mirror was for in the other room? Yeah. Oh. Bottle cap! Bottle cap! Bottle cap! Bottle cap! Bottle cap!

Bottle cap! Do it! Do it! Do it! You put the wall up, the mirror image of itself, so it can see itself, and it starts to wither away. Oh, yeah! Bottlecap!

Oh! Oh! Yeah! Okay. Oh. You know what? Let's do some shots. Let's do a fucking shot!

Why? Why? While he's getting those shots, I will say, as this stuff, like the parasite, imagine it's kind of like using a weed killer. It's just kind of like... The eye dissipates, and you see a door.

Whoa. Joe, that was really good. That was badass. I'm sorry that I said that you were cursed by a bridge troll at birth. Even though I'm still pretty sure that's how it all went down. He's a smart guy. He just has terrible luck. Yeah.

I could just see your parents going to some bridge in Philly. No, no, you couldn't. You clearly don't know my parents. Please. They'd take one look at that troll and be like, hippie. No, no, you couldn't. You clearly don't know my parents. Please. They take one look at that troll and be like, hippie. And just like, get out of here.

So fast. Like, get a job, troll. Get a job, troll. You got to shake me down for cash and wishes. Joe, just give him your leftovers. No. A troll can fend for himself. Hey, to the Weeping Wall.

To the Weeping Wall. Where Brooklyn at? Sorry, son. Oh, is that Fireball? Oh, yeah. Was that Nick Lowe? I'm going to get in a fight tonight. It was George.

Thank you, Nick Lowe. George actually got the shots. Nick Lowe delivered them. a fight tonight. It was George. Thank you, Nick Lowe. George actually got the shots. Nick Lowe delivered them. Oh. George. It was George. Thank you, George. I rescind my thank you to Nick Lowe.

Raise George. You see a door. There is a door. There is a door there, but Sheila just got bit. You guys are in bad shape, and you know that the chapel will provide you A night of rest But you could also just take a peek behind the door Mrs. Old Lady will go up and open the door She'll keep her hand on it

In case she has to close the door Praise Old Lady Best friend will take a step back And allow the Old Lady to take care of it. You open the door and you see into a very large chamber. You see white tile spider-webbed

with cracks lining the walls of this truly cathedral-like hall. In the middle of the room you see an oval desk facing staunch double doors to the south. I haven't revealed them on the map, but you would think those are the double doors that lead into the building. More importantly, lead out of the asylum.

The front doors, we think? Front doors. Oh, nice. Nice. The lobby. Towards the back, you see regal stairs. You can tell, even though there's stuff that's gone on here, it was once a very regal looking room. Stairs ascending towards the second floor, but it looks like rubble has crushed the upper flights, blocking passage possibly. You're not sure from where

you're standing. Lofty windows girded by bars reveal yellow mist seething just beyond. It appears as if this grand hall was once perhaps the pride of this establishment. Think about it. If you're committing one of your loved ones or are forced to make some difficult decisions, you bring them here, you want it to look nice.

Yeah, peaceful. Peaceful. Welcome to your new home. And you can never leave. And that's what it looks like. But all that remains now is this broken marble floor and collapsed staircases. There are

however, a number of doors leading from this entry room, which have made my life a living hell. Since Portland. But that's why we play, guys. It's true. To make Troy's life a living hell.

That's why I play. That's not fair. Let me reveal those doors to you. I would say it's dim light in here. How about that? You okay with dim light? Oh, yes. I like it dark.

I'm not asking the audience, Matthew. I'm asking you. Oh, you're asking me? Yes. That's enough. That's all I'm not asking The audience Matthew I'm asking you Oh you're asking me Yes That's enough Sure That's all I'm gonna show you I've already shown you too much But yeah you see

Double doors to the south Another door way off To the north Right It's not Pinging but There's doors all over the place What do you do

I just wanna roll perception Do I see anything in the room Rip off your armor And run in screaming No Okay That's what I would do Thank you for the suggestion But pass Okay Yeah can I just roll perception Roll perception. Do I see anything in the room? Rip off your armor and run in screaming? No. Okay. That's what I would do.

Thank you for the suggestion, but pass. Okay. Yeah, can I just roll perception and see if I see anything in the room other than what you just said? Yeah! 24. 24, huh? Oh, nice. Perceptive. You don't see anything of interest.

Like anything out of the ordinary. You don't see any people, any creatures, or anything. You see evidence of something. But it's really just in... Would you mind being slightly more specific? Evidence of something. I know it's made your life a living hell, but one little bit of information. It was DC-25 to know if it's more than something.

Oh, man. It's in the book. It tracks everywhere. No, it just... So, there's two things really going on here that you've noticed so far. And Mrs. Olay, what's your intelligence? I have a 16 intelligence. Okay.

So you're smart. He's wicked smart. My boy's wicked smart. So you're smart. My boy's wicked smart. She's pretty smart. She's pretty smart. Alright, so you notice that like obviously there are otherworldly creatures in this asylum that have somehow come in

because of something. But it also looks like the building itself has been like shaken by something. But it also looks like the building itself has been like shaken by something. Maybe an earthquake. It doesn't quite look like an earthquake. Like, how are the floors, the tiles cracked and shit? Something, there's like two things that happened here. Now, maybe they're connected.

You don't know, but you're just looking into this giant room. But it appears like some kind of geological I'm talking to Matthew right now. I'm just trying to clarify. Wait. Fucking guy. Get the bottle cap, because he could just interrupt. And now I've lost my train of thought. Yes.

No, you just, you could tell that, like, there are two things happening here, and you don't quite know if they're connected, but you're looking at this giant room that looks like, even if there was a bunch of fights in here, it shouldn't have cracked the tiles or choked the upper floors with rubble.

Is that like as if the entire asylum were lifted out of this plane and taken to another place? Maybe. Maybe. Ooh. Maybe. Maybe. Ooh. Maybe. Are you giving him your... I think he earned it.

You earned it. That's all you know. That's all you know. Have we run... Let me ask this. Have we done knowledge checks on the fog? No. You've really only experienced the fog in your dreams. When you went out to the courtyard when it was raining like fired

acid rain. Again, talking to Matthew. The fog wasn't really bothering you there. But the fog was in your dreams and you look out. When you were in the chapel, you there, but the fog was in your dreams, and you look out, when you were in the chapel, you could see behind the barred stained glass windows, fog out there, you see fog outside the windows here, but you don't, until you get in it, you don't really know. You want to go outside and check it out?

I'll hold off on that for now. I'm going to do, I'm going to detect psychic significance, so it's a 40 foot radius burst around me. Good, good, good spell. So it's a 40-foot radius burst around me. Okay, good, good, good spell. Show me psychic significance! There is no psychic significance in this admission area.

All right, Mrs. O'Lady will turn back to her companions and say, Shall we take a look? Joe, you had something you wanted to say? I was going to say that I thought we did, is the fog knowledge check, would that be rolled in with the Carcosa thing? Because we did do the knowledge check about the fog in our dreams and the place where we were,

and you said it makes you think of this city, possibly this Carcosa's. Yeah, there's nothing in the fog itself that connects you to the very small connection that you made between Carcosa and the dreams. That doesn't mean they're not connected, but it's not like you know about Carcosa, and there's always yellow mist in Carcosa.

They may not necessarily be connected. Did we ever get the name Carcosa, or did we just say that? You just said it, because you watched True Detective Season 1. No, I read one. No, I read also. Yeah, I read.

You read the scripts to True Detective season one? I read all the scripts online before the show came out. The teleplay. Fan fic. Just like he reads the adventures. He reads the teleplays of the shows. I want to be prepared to watch the show that I'm watching. That's smart. Time is a flat circle.

Matthew, you want to go into the room. But I ask for everyone's input. Right. Mrs. Old Lady, I do suggest that we take a rest. Honestly, I'm a bit winded and not so healthy. Because he still has not recovered from the last rest. So, just for the record. Aren't you not just a wee bit curious about what might be in that desk?

Oh, I'm incredibly curious, but I'm not an idiot. It's the non-action which separates curiosity from idiocy. That's the thing. Taking a moment to think about it. You know, Mrs. O'Lady, I found you very impressive, but now you're getting to be a little bit childish. Oh. Mrs. O'Child.

Why don't you go sit down and take a five-minute time out? Oh. And let the grown-ups show you how it's done. By all means, oh lady, best of luck. I hope you find what you're looking for. If it's valuable, I do expect one-fourth of it. But otherwise, good luck to you. I'm going to speak with Winter and find out where the bedchambers are.

Listen, listen, wait, wait, please. I don't like when my friends are fighting. It makes me very uncomfortable. I have a solution. And he turns around and walks right up to the desk and starts searching it. I like it. I like it. You search the desk and there's nothing in there.

Sweet. No reason to fight at all. Now, let's go rest. All right. Yeah, it seems like that was just probably where the receptionist sat. You find a journal. It says intake logs. Something seems wrong here.

I believe I know the answer. It's, and then it cuts off. The pages are all ripped out. Oh, no. Any pay stubs or anything? Yes, there's a pay stub for a Mrs. O'Lady. Well, I'm not going to look. I won't look because that's rude.

I don't want to know what she makes. It's spelled differently. It's L-A-D-I-E. Oh, okay. That's it. So you know it's not you. Weird coincidence, though, that there's another old lady. All right, so you guys want to rest?

Yeah. La, la, la, la. Put James in the chapel. La, la, la, la, la. Can you guys see him bouncing around? All right. Put Shields in there and best friend. Boop.

Mrs. Old Lady. You guys go back to the chap, and you rest. Yes, Sir Winter, we will not have any nightmares, you say, as long as we rest in this place. Yes, well, first of all, she's like, effusively thanking you. Thank you for dealing with this.

Sorry, my name was just input incorrectly. It means the rest of it. Thank you, best friend. You, most of all, saved the day. Thank you for dealing with this wall. So you're just going to sleep and then find out if there's a way out. No, I think that's wise.

I'll tell Captain York to keep an eye on things, make sure nothing comes through that door. The negative of that wall was that we couldn't get through. If there was any positive to be gleaned from it, it's that nothing could also get through to us. Whoops! Well, you take the good with the bad, right? Yes, I guess we'll all just go to sleep with both eyes open.

But are you... Are the people here, now that they've been fed by Sheila's marvelous food, are they well enough to move on? Move on where? Out? Away? Yes, if you are able to find a way off this island, if you go out the front door and see that there is a way for us to escape,

although some are infirm, I believe we could make a dash. Well, then I suppose I have one more reason for bravery. Thank you, lady. No, thank you, whatever your name is. Keep up your best friend? Best friend, very popular in Brooklyn. A lot of best friend fans. It is known.

All right. She also tells you, you know, tomorrow morning when you wake up, I have informed Captain York that you have the freedom to go anywhere you like. Sorry, what was the name? Captain York. You used to call him that. Oh, Sergeant York got commissioned, eh?

No, Crossbow Jackson. Oh, that was he. Oh, nice. Different. Anyways, I told him, you have the freedom to go anywhere you like around our area. When we came here, we didn't take much time to thoroughly search the rooms around our wing here. Feel free to conduct whatever investigations you feel necessary.

But of course, of the utmost importance, if you are indeed willing, is to find a way out. Go to those front doors and look. But please, there are rooms all around here in this area. And you see in that hallway, obviously you came through what they're now using as a gatehouse over here. Up there?

Yep. So there's that. And then on the way to the curtain, there are two doors leading to the south. And she's saying, like, we have those all locked down. We didn't really go in depth in there. So feel free to look in there, too. But the pressing matter is. The knowing laughter is.

Everything's fine. The pressing matter is getting out. Yes, I would really like to find a way out of this hellish place. All right, so you rest, and for the first time since you've slept in this cathedral, you don't have nightmares, you don't have to roll a will save to see if you retain

all your HP. Yes! Yes! Instead, you all permanently die. She rips off her mask, and she's like, ha ha! I'm Alvarez Andaluz No You rest You get your con

Plus your level back In H Pizzle It's a new day Saturday night in Brooklyn Yeah What do you want to do? I don't know about all of you, but getting out is my priority.

Yeah, I should probably... You know what's amazing about these calls for shots, by the way, is that all the first row people are putting their half-drink beers on the stage, which makes me think those are also all for us. Not gonna happen. Pedro also delivered us, I think. Pedro! Looks like tequila shots over here. Yeah, buddy!

Yeah! You know what? Oh, Pedro! You gotta earn those shots. Thank God. I agree. You gotta earn those shots. Pedro!

Pedro! Pedro! Pedro! All right. What do you want to do? If it's up to me, I say we find a way out of this place. I'm not interested in exploring unless we must... Unless there's no way out of that front yard.

But we should at least take a look, as you suggested, Mrs. O'Lady. I'm inclined to agree with the young rat folk. I'm only a rat folk because of what they did to me in here. You'll see soon enough. We'll get the answers. But first we must get off this dreadful island. Sheila wakes up an hour early and prepares

a mutagen and a genius extract. What? So I misspoke last time in Portland. Three time zones away. It's because of jet lag. That's why I misspoke last time in Portland. Three time zones away. It's because of jet lag.

That's why I misspoke. So I don't get a discovery at second level because of my mad scientist archetype. I instead get the mad whatever it is. What did I just say? Genius extract. Genius extract. What does that do? What I do is I take one of my extracts per day,

one of my spells, basically, becomes a genius extract, and so I can drink it, and it has the effect of one random spell one level higher than it is. of one random spell one level higher than it is. But at the cost

of 1d3 wisdom damage when I drink it. That's really cool. Wow. Yeah, this is case in point right here. You're going to wake and bake. It's really like doing a shot of fire.

It really is. First thing in the morning. Wait, so how long does it last? You just drink it and you roll randomly to see what... Yeah, I'm casting the spell. Say I cast Cure Light Wounds to heal myself. It has the effect of one random second level spell also. And I take 1d3 wisdom damage. But you don't know until you cast the spell.

But I don't know until, yeah. That's great. So you might be like, guys, everyone spell? But I don't know until, yeah. That's great! So you might be like, guys, everyone huddle around, I want to cure light wounds, and then you cast Fireball. Right! And blow up the party. Well, not Fireball, but yeah. Guys, come on, get close. Bring it in.

Starting to feel warm, Sheila. Shocking grasp. Alright, so a genius extract and mutagens, which we'll wait till those come into play. Mrs. O, are you ready to go? Ready to go. James the Rat? James also spends an hour memorizing from his eldritch spellbook and switches things up a little bit.

He's getting ready for danger. He's going to bust out that magic missile. If anyone looks over your... I want to use it. I want to hit something without rolling. If anyone looks over your shoulder while you're looking it! I want to hit something without rolling! If anyone looks over your shoulder while you're looking at your spellbook, what do they see? Well, this is the first he's getting these additional spells, and Magic Missile was one of them.

So if you look over his shoulder, you see him peering at a blank page in the morning, and it's not coming through, and yet all of a sudden, as you as you're looking at it like almost like light cutting through the page it's like this arcane writing starts coming into it this symbol of a circle and these lines coming through it in all these different ways and then these stars and planets and weird like extra shit all around it and then you even sort of get the sense of this kind of voice you hear whispering behind you and he just shuts the book what are you doing mrs. old lady why is it me because you're incredibly curious and nosy. I am curious. I was just hoping you might like to bond a bit. We had a bit of a tiff, I know.

Yes, well, we can bond, but I don't want you... You should not look at this. It is very dangerous, that's all I will say. I'll respect your boundaries. Stop plotting, please! Please! I'm trying to prepare mutagens and genius extracts. But he does say to Mrs. O'Lady,

and we agree that we want to go to the front door. Best friend? Now, well, while I did enjoy not having nightmares and waking up in a cold sweat, the man with the log wouldn't stop rubbing it and looking at me while I was trying to sleep. And let me tell you something. His log is not yet smooth. And so I don't want to be the lumberjack to do that, so let's leave.

He comes over to you and he's like, where's your log? My mother said it was polite not to say where my log is. I saw you trying to break up firewood. Didn't do too well. I don't think I'd succeed well on your wood either, sir. Alright then. And he just walks away. I'll take my log business elsewhere.

Sheila steps in and says... Sheila steps in and grabs best friend and says stop trying to use your log lines on my friend give me all of your dice you're out let's go to the

admission area let's do it guys put yourselves in that room this old lady has already determined at least as far as you can see no danger now that you're in there i'm going to reveal some more so you see boom double door another door to the north oh dude this hall extends all the way to the east you see double doors in the beyond there let's say you're walking around and really looking. You see shit over there, bippity-boo, rubble choked.

Yeah, it's bad news. This really was a nightmare for you. Yeah. So. Yes, let's the four of us split up to four doors. Yes. We'll open them at once. One, two, three.

All right, so the way... That would be a cliffhanger. That would be amazing. I would end the show an hour early. Yeah. All right, so at least as far as you can see right now, there are one, two, three, four, five, six, seven fucking doors to deal with. You've got the doors presumably leading out

right here. See that? Yes. See that shit? And then doors to the north which you would assume lead deeper into the asylum based on what Winters told you.

Over here to the far area another set of double doors leading to the south. A single door here to the north. Another single door there.

And then obviously way, way the fuck up here, two more doors. Oh, my God. And then rubble, and that rubble is where the staircase was. You can still see a staircase leading up, so you might be able to check it out, but it looks like the second floor has collapsed. Guys, you have the floor. Best friend immediately casts light. You said there may be dim light in there. It's dim, yeah.

So there's an aura you can see on the map now around best friend. That's nice. Please allow me to lead. Just direct me where to go, please. James is going to cast mage armor on himself. A lot of Mage Armor fans in the crowd.

Brooklyn's a Mage Armor kind of city. It's a Mage Armor city. It goes over well here, that's why I prepared it. Let's make a pact with each other. If the first two doors we open are boring and lame, we open the next four at once. Put him in. Put him in.

Put him in. Suicide! Suicide! Front door? Of all the work he did, of all the things he prepared, I can tell you for 100% certain he didn't prepare four doors opening at once. I could do it.

Oh, I don't doubt it. And then next month we'd start a new adventure band. All right, this front door, let's go. Best friend, with me. Okay, I'm here. Rat man. So, yeah, you made your way straight there. You didn't go looking in these doors in the hallway leading up to the curtain.

We just want to go right to business. You don't want to go back to the chapel gatehouse. You know, now that I'm here, I think we should double back to those doors in the hallway. No, it's too late. You're already at this door. I have a strange feeling like something is interesting there that we should check out. What do you guys want to do at the front door? Open it? Just open it up? I'll listen at the door.

Listen at the door. Best friend rules. Twelve. Five. I've always found listening at the door to be pointless. Yes. It's a waste of time. I've always found listening at the door to be pointless Yes It's a waste of time You hear the faint sounds of yacht rock

Oh wow Do you have the Playlist cued up Alright Shut the fuck up Stop right now I know that singing voice I know that singing voice. I know that beautiful voice.

Stop. Prepare yourselves. I'm going to try to open this door quietly. I don't know if something's going to jump at us, but I don't think it will. I think we'll be fine. Arm yourselves. He's going to load his crossbow and then slowly

try to do a stealth check opening the door. Sure. Fuck. Fuck. Fourteen. Okay. So you grab the handle, and you try to do it, and your hand kind of slips on it,

but you realize that these strong wooden doors are resisting the effort because they're completely swollen in their frame. Whatever shook the building or whatever has made these doors... You're going to have to break through. They're stuck. Best friend? Strength check? Anyone want to aid?

Because I don't think best friend's going to do it. Can the aides come in? I have a minus one strength, but can I aid? Sure. Roll an 11. I don't aid. Sheila? What? You want to aid?

Skid's on Facebook. I aid. You'd aid. Plus two? Oh, I aid. Alright, plus four. Alright, let's give another one with a tungsten. Fucking three. God damn it.

So that's a total of seven plus three is ten. Yes, it sure is. You just like, ow. That is a strong wooden door. Yeah, you don't get it. And you realize you weren't even close to getting it. So if you guys want to take 20, you can just keep hammering at it and break. Do you want to break it down?

Well, break DC, I don't think you can take 20. Well, whatever. Yeah, we'll keep hammering at it. Yeah, it's not even break DC. It's just keep chipping away at it. At the damage. Yeah, and doing so may destroy the doors, so you want to take your time with it.

Yeah. Because you don't want that fog seeping in. Yes. So I'll say over the next... Few minutes. You know, over the next few minutes, about ten minutes, you finally break open.

Was this a good idea? I don't know if this was a good idea. In hindsight, maybe not. Sadly, it's too late as the doors open and we're fine. Alright, we have three

rounds of shots waiting for us right now. And we have yet to do anything to earn them, so we have to wait. Let's do one thing to earn wait. Let's do one thing to earn one. Let's do one thing to earn one. Let's go. You see the grounds outside. As the door opens, this vapor starts to seep into the room and start kind of filling the room as well.

But the real thick part of it is still about 30 feet away or so. Even though it's not represented on the map, that fog is all around. And it's coming into the room. Like tendrils of it are seeping into the room as well. Doesn't seem to be affecting you. Does it smell like anything? Smells like patchouli. Quick question, though.

James was clearly aiding me in my strength check earlier and now he is 15 feet away from the door. How did that happen, Joe? Yeah, Joe, let's put James 30 feet outside. I make a mad dash into the fog. Blindly. Everybody roll a perception check.

Everyone's looking outside these doors. Imagine these four characters just looking outside into the fog. 14. 14? 18. 19. 19? Skittles?

Five. Five. So everyone except Sheila, you look into the fog, and you see these, like, vague, bulbous masses moving deeper, much deeper into the mist. And you hear what sounds like the faint churning of a distant but gigantic stomach. Oh, God. It's kind of like... It's Paula Deen.

It's Paula Deen. Just one stick of butter and you got yourself a stew going. Paula Deen walks out of the mist. No, you hear this gurgling. You see the fog. What do you guys do? Can I roll a knowledge check? Yeah. What would I roll?

I don't know. What do you want to roll? Planes? Sure. Do you have knowledge, Dean? Oh, I have James Dean. Oh, no. That doesn't apply. It's not all Deans. 23 knowledge planes. 25 knowledge planes.

Oh! I'm sorry, Joe. 25 knowledge planes. Oh. Oh. I'm sorry, Joe. Troy was talking to Matthew. All right, so James steps outside. Mr. O'Lady, are you staying inside around the corner there, or are you going out with James? Sure, I'm going out with James. Okay.

So you go out with James, and you're just looking into the fog. And you're surrounded by the fog, and the fog is slipping into the room, like I said. And you're just rolling on all its planes. And I mean, this is exactly what you experienced. Not you, because your character died in session one. But you... I have no memory of that. You remember this...

Like, beginning this adventure, like, caught in this world, surrounded by vapors, seeing these bulbous masses, and then a figure emerging out of there, covered in tatters and rags. James, even though you came into the adventure shortly after your first character died,

I imagine as you were in the boiler, you were experiencing these dreams as well. So the fog is not strange to you. You've seen this as well. As you stand there looking, you see those bulbous masses. You hear that gigantic stomach. You do not see a creature in tatters,

in rags come out. However, as you're listening to them, As you're listening to them As you're listening to Paula Deen in the distance You start to hear this like It is It's As all of a sudden This quivering pile of tumorous flesh just emerges from the left of you.

And it's got a vague face on it. And it's just like... Oh, God! Roll for initiative. No, no, no! Oh, God! Roll for initiative. No, no, no! Oh, God. Oh, come on. Come on, James.

Come on, James. Let me show you what this thing looks like. Blah. Oh, God. Oh, no. You want to give me the wide view here? There it is! Oh, God!

Oh, God! Just piles of, like, pockmarked tissue heaping upon one another. And you can see, like, the half-formed visage of a face in there. Paul Dean, so mean. the half-formed visage of a face in there. Paula Deen. So mean. I know, she's mean.

She might be a Patreon supporter. She could be. She's like, I'll pull my pledge. But I'm really excited for Emerald Spire. Let's talk about Anish. This thing talk about Anish. This thing is right on you. Mrs. O. Lady.

Seven. Solid. Sheila. Seven also. Praise no one. Who's got the higher Anish bone? Plus six. I'm plus two.

Okay. So Sheila. You're rolling natural one. Who's got the higher? Anish Bone. Plus six. I'm plus two. Okay. So Sheila... So you rolled a natural one. In other words, yes, I have rolled a natural one for initiative. James. Well done. Well deduced, Sherlock.

She is an investigator. That's true. Nice job, Hercule Poirot. And I'm a psychic. And a psychic, too. Jamesy? 27. Natural 20, baby!

Whoa! Starting off hot. Should you, like, buy a lottery ticket tonight? Yes. Yes. That 20! Best friend. I think best friend thought that he should have gone first

because he has this shield and a sword, but then he's really elated that James is going first. So he got a 17. 17. All right. Good, good. Fair numbers by all. We're going to start off with James.

James, this weird pile of flesh, large creature, comes ambling up to you guys as you're staring into the mist, just blah, blah, blah. Just roll a perception check. Natural 20. What? Two in a row, baby!

20. This guy's chaining 20s on a It's amazing! perception check. Wait. Wait until the attack rolls. Just wait. Just wait.

There is something about that face that is familiar. Oh. That face. You know it. You don't know why you know it? I know the face? You know it.

Oh, my God. Oh, well, that freaks me out a little bit. Oh, jeez. No kidding. It says, hello. Yeah, well. Hello, James. No, it didn. No kidding. It says, hello. Yeah, well. Hello, James. No, it didn't say that.

That'd be funny if it did, though. You are flanking Mrs. O'Lady. I would just hit Mrs. O'Lady and get the sneak attack damage. Can I do a knowledge check on the creature to see? First of all, is it an aberration? No, it's totally normal. You find it in everyday society. This is tough.

This guy runs a deli downtown in downtown Threshmore. You know the list? How dare you call me an aberration, sir? My family built this town. It's like an oozy type creature So dungeoneering Dungeoneering Okay, let's see if I can find out anything about what this is Or how to fight it

19 19 Alright I can give you I can give you two bits of information But I'm going to give you one for free As long as Grant doesn't Google the creature I can give you two bits of information. But I'm going to give you one for free. As long as Grant doesn't Google the creature.

It's called a hungry flesh. Ooh. What a great name. Well named, yes. Hold on, I'll take it from here, Troy. I got it. Hungry flesh is... Grant. Damn it.

This screen is only here for Grant. Only for Grant. Only here for Grant. Throw it up there on the screen. Just put the PFSRD right there. Boom. Let me ask you this. What do you... That's amazing.

Stop it. Grant? What do you... Let me ask you this. What do you want to know? If it's something I recognize or someone I recognize, I guess I want to know...

I want to know how to fight it. Basically, I want to know what it's weak to. If it can be damaged and not destroyed. If it can be quelled but not killed. Oh! Saints Row 2! Saints Row 2, that's bizarre. I'm literally the voice when you steal a car

and do radio commercials. You can't kill me in that game. But I'm glad people are wondering how. It's funny that enough people have Googled that, though. The most Googled search, yeah. Or they hop all night. How? How?

I played this game for days. I want to kill this guy on the radio so bad. This creature has regeneration. Okay? Okay. Now, the bad news about creature has regeneration. Okay? Okay. Now the bad news about regeneration is like Fire! Yeah, okay. You want to use fire? Great. But then you've got to kill it that next round or the regeneration

kicks back in. Unless you've got some dude that just keeps firing it to hold off the regeneration. Regeneration can only be paused for one round. That's one piece of information. You also know that... You wanted to know specifically, does it have any... Well, how about what its immunities are?

Like, is it immune to mind affecting? Is it immune to... Well, it's amorphous. So because it's amorphous, it is not... It is immune to precision damage. It's immune to crits, so don't get excited when you roll another 20. That won't happen. It's also an ooze,

and oozes have their own... Yeah. This is not a creature that you're suited to fighting. However, you haven't been suited to fighting any creature in this game. It's not really a change of pace. So it's business as usual. Yeah.

But in terms of like, is it weak to this? Is it weak to that? No, you've just got to, you've got to take it out. Okay, so he'll share all that kind of loudly to his allies here. What does he say?

He says it, he's immune to precision damage and don't get excited about your crits, best friend. Do it in a song. Sing it. Don't get excited about your crits, best friend. Do it in a song. Sing it. Don't get excited about your crit. I was more of a magician than a singer, and you can see why.

That's great. That was awesome. Take his bottle back. Wait, wait. I just remembered something about my past. I cannot sing. I'm a terrible singer in life. That's too bad. It's like the

King's Speech. That was great. Yes. It did sound like that. God damn it. Alright, he will... You also, it has regeneration, so any sort of fire Sheila, any sort of fire will help keep it down once we get it

low enough. And he's going to take a five foot... Actually, no, he'll just take a move action because he's already loaded. Over here and try to fire at it with the crossbow. Okay. And just try to chip away at it a little bit. See if he can't sink a bolt into that gross flesh. That's fair. Natural 19.

Oh my God. That's fair. Natural 19. Oh, my God. That is a 20 to hit. 20 to hit? Yes. That is a hit, my friend. Beautiful. And he will do five points of damage. Five points of damage.

Do I get the sense that it went through? Is it... Let me ask you this. That does piercing damage, right? Yeah. Okay. So you did five points of damage? So it hit, and you could see, like, it damaged it,

but then, like, the flesh grew back. But also grew a little larger. Run! Wow, okay. So it went, boom, damaged it, and then like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It is now best friend's turn. Oh, shit.

Close the door and lock it. Best friend will give cover to Mrs. O'Lady because if there's anything he respects more to Mrs. O'Lady because if there's anything he respects more than Mrs. O'Lady, he doesn't know what it is. I mean, you have lost your memory, so that makes sense. Exactly. So best friend is going to step up.

Do a knowledge relitch on the way there. Kind of, ooh, what is this thing? Let's see what happens. Good, good. Okay, that's a 12. Also the wrong knowledge, so you know nothing. Yeah, I just thought I'd try. And then reaching out with a plus one dagger.

Oh, boy, I'm rolling like crap tonight. 13 to hit. 13 to hit. Hits. Oh, all right. This is a giant target. All right. Nine points of damage.

Okay. Magic dip. I don't know if you saw James' crossbow bolt hit from where the angle it was because you were behind. However, you come out there and you slash it, and James, you see that whatever he did really took a good chunk out of it. Best friend ever was good. Keep it up. However. However.

However. You slash it. It causes this giant crease, this fissure inside the creature. It fills up. Not all the way. And then grows. Does this change anything? The fact that my dagger

counts as piercing and slashing damage. Does that change anything? It's even worse. Oh. counts as piercing and slashing damage. Does that change anything? It's even worse. Oh. Yeah, something about your piercing

and your slashing weapon. It did damage, but then it felt like that damage came back. Maybe not all of it, in your case. But then it grew larger after the damage. It's its turn. after the damage. It's its turn.

So let's let's kill a character. Good luck. I think it's going to happen. Should I go after Mrs. O'Lady? Yeah, you're right. Fuck her. I'm going to attack her.

Slam it just like... Boom! With a slam! 12 to hit. Miss! Oh, yeah! Oh, lady! Shit on a shingle.

All right. All right. You win this round, old lady. Shit on a shingle Alright Alright You win this round old lady It stays there It just stays there So weird What am I become It is Sheila's turn

Wait does it say that No I didn't That would have been a twist It just looks at you and says Mama No That would have been a twist. It just looks at you and says, Mama! Mama! No, it doesn't.

That'd be horrifying. We must care for it. We must. It is ours. We will raise it as our own hungry flesh. We shall move into a row house in San Francisco. And run across the field to a great 90s theme song. Sheila is going to

step into the room and back behind Mrs. O'Lady a bit. And Sheila is going to prepare one of his bombs. Okay. Okay. And plucks it off his bomb delirium. one of his bombs. Okay. Okay. Okay.

And plucks it off his bomb delir. Spits in it, shakes it up, tosses it at the creature. 20 to hit. That is a hit, my friend. All right. That is nine points of fire damage. Woo! All right, nine points of fire damage,

and does it do any splash damage to Best Friend and Mrs. O'Lady? Oh, it would, but actually, I toss it at the back quarter. Okay, that's totally fine. Yeah, so you hit it. That hurt it. Yeah.

And you would also know, based on James' knowledge check, that at least for the next round, it you hit it. That hurt it. Yeah. And you would also know, based on James' knowledge check, that at least for the next round, it cannot regenerate. This is the time to make some moves here. Mrs. O'Lady, this thing really reared up. You also recognized the face as it came down on you. It is not your child, but it is someone you feel like you know or have seen before. Yeah, fuck it up, man.

Don't really have the ability to do that. Mrs. O'Lady is going to full withdraw. Okay. I'm sorry. I think the crowd is... My backup character is only like 70% Completed Alright so Mrs. Old Lady

Full withdraws Live in Brooklyn It is James' turn It's a new round I will tell you this The fog now has overcome this area. Has started to fill up the lobby. And it is 20%

mischance if you're up next to it. 50% mischance now if you're throwing or shooting from range. Oh, dear. So do with that what you will, James. In that case, he's just going to try to deal some damage.

Begins the incantation. And magic missile. That's a great way to be concealed. Now, is it... Sorry. I don't think so.

And it's just... At second level, you don't get an additional one, right? It's still just one. No, it's just one. It's taking a shot. Yeah, come on. All right, come on. Max damage.

Okay, that's four. Four points of damage. Four points of damage. Boom! Force damage. Boom! Hits it. Yeah, you got to do more to earn that.

No, that was good. It did some damage. That hurt it, this is the round where it cannot regenerate And then I'm gonna load my crossbow As a move action And magic missile That lands true, even with the 50% concealment, because it's magic fucking missile Best friend

Well, there's no time I'm like the president of strike Damn it, out of the's no time like the President's strike. Damn it, out of the box. Time for the tungsten die. Come on, Grant. Okay, 15 to hit. Let's get some. Let's do the concealment. Now, question. On a recent podcast, Joe

flipped the rules upside down. I'm wondering, am I trying to go above a 20 or below a 20? Just above a 20, right? For a good sealment? You're right next to it. Yeah, 21 or above. 96.

Wow. No. Oh, yeah, no, it is. I thought it was 69 for a second. I thought it was going to be awesome. Eight points of damage. Nice. Okay.

That's great. And that was, again, slashing and piercing? Yes, and from a magical weapon. All right, so this is what I'll tell you. That damage looks like it went through this time because whatever Sheila did has stopped its regeneration on this round. However, it still does get bigger. So weird.

The area near the bottom of it where you're standing starts bulging out towards you. You strike up there. It's getting bigger and it's turned. It's like the blob. Or an erection.

Yes. The hungry flesh. Hungry flesh. Always have an erection with a family. I'm going to ask this question as delicately as possible, but do you see faces in erections? It's up to you. I don't know. You see someone you know?

Yes. You see someone you know? No. I'd rather have to look up to determine if it's someone I know or not. Yeah, don't look in the eye. That's the important thing. Don't stare directly at it. The hungry flesh is going to attack best friend,

and this might be a best friend. I might just take you out right here. Natural 20. Oh! To confirm Out of the box In the box It's going to be close 17

Exactly a confirm That was very anti-social, Grant Wow This is really going to separate the best friends from the hungry fleshes. Should we do a fan critical? They might be here. I want you to pick the first one that looks like it's from an address that could have come here. Oh, man. Okay.

Okay. Oh, how about George from George for the Shots? Maybe from Linden, New Jersey? No? No? No. That's all right. Use them. It's all right.

George from Linden. Spirit, spirit. That's smart. He's right there. Yeah! Praise George. Praise George. I mean, let's see what happens.

That's great. All right. That's smart. Oh, wait a minute. This is bad for us. Yeah. I'm reading it. I'm like, oh's see what happens. That's great. All right. That smarts. Oh, wait a minute. This is bad for us. Yeah. I'm reading it. I'm like, oh, this is good.

Without concealment. Oh, concealment. Oh. Sorry, George. That's fair. 38. I remember when I was 38. I can still see the faces on erections.

Okay, here we go. That smarts. The strike hit a nerve cluster and has caused severe pain. Double damage. And the target must make a will save to overcome extreme pain or it is not able to take full attacks for 1d4 rounds. So it actually doesn't affect you. Well, I'm so glad I'm second level.

Yeah, at only second level, you can still make move standard in swift action, so you're fine, but it is double damage. This could be really, really bad. Really? Yes, because it's... I'm going to walk you through this. Let's roll that double damage. This could be really, really bad. Really? Yes. Because it's... I'm going to roll the... I'm going to walk you through this. Let's roll that double damage to start.

Not terrible. Eight. Twelve points of damage. Okay. Then it attempts to grab. Oh, no. This is what I was afraid of. All right.

That is going to be a 17 against CMD Just beat it And then it constricts No, no, no, oh god I'm going to say unconscious and dying Seven points of damage Best friend is alive And if you take him down

You are going to hate my backup character You are going to hate my backup character. You are going to fucking rue the day you took down Best Friend. Am I right, Brooklyn? Yeah! That's right! If you strike him down, he shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine. Grant, I also need you to roll a Fortitude save.

Oh, shit, it's really stacking up. It's a juicy beast. Okay, it's not great, but will a 12 suffice? It will not. However, for the moment, everything seems perfectly fine. But you feel a weird sickness in your erection face. It is now... Somebody really liked that one.

It is now Sheila's turn. This thing has grappled and constricted. Slammed, grappled, constricted, and diseased best friend. Sheila, what do you do? Sheila says, Get your tentacles off my best friend! Hold on, best friend!

And Sheila tosses another bomb in its direction towards its rear quadrants. That is a 16 to hit. That is a hit. And concealment. Yes, thank you. Kinds. 50%. Let's go for 69.

64. Alright. That'll play. Oh! 11 points of fire damage. Max damage. Wow. That's pretty good. That's good, Sheila. Again, it will not regenerate the next round.

Beautiful. And Sheila's bombs, it's not getting larger when those bombs hit, like your attacks and your attacks. You're just running away, Matthew, so. For one round. Well, it is your turn, Mrs. O'Lady. Okay, can I do a knowledge check? Yeah. It's got a face.

I want to know if it's immune to mind-affecting things. Okay. Roll a knowledge. Knowledge. Dungeoneering. 14. Okay. You want to know if it's immune to mind-affecting effects? Yes.

See how I stall while I look at the immunities? So mind-affecting effects, that's what you want to know? Yeah, I'm thinking about mind-affecting effects. And what was it, 14? It was a 14? What is wrong with dying, Matthew? Wait, is that adjusted or was it on the natural 14? Natural 14.

This is all buying. Mind-affecting? It adjusted mind-affecting. It is not immune to mind-affect all buying. Mind affecting? Just mind affecting. It is not immune to mind affecting. Okay. Okay. Excellent news. I'm going to do a mind thrust.

Oh, yes! Oh! Finish it. Roll a will save. You roll a will save. Busted! Busted! Oh, Oprah... Nine. Fail.

So you take six points of damage. I overload that thing's mind with a glut of psychic information. A glut, I say. Your killer was a fraud! A glut, I says. What I say. So you. Your killer was a fraud. Ah.

I'm glad I said. You shoot your mind at it or some thrust of energy from your mind. And as it strikes in your mind, you just hear. Sandaloo. Oh, praise, praise. Sandaloo. It's so creepy. So it's kind of like, boom, boom, ping pong.

We're going to a new round. This thing is in bad shape. All courtesy of the MVP, Sheila. Best friend is in its clutches. And it is James' turn. Yes, hold on there, best friend. I'm going to try to stun it. Perhaps it will drop you.

He's going to focus on his Eldritch, his Talisman of Revealing. Okay. So this necklace that he has on, all of a sudden this sort of strange eye like clinks open like Doctor Strange's. Oh, nice. And it's just like, kink, and out of it comes this horrifying, you might say, ear-piercing scream. Oh, nice.

It's just like, ah! And you have to roll a what save? Will save? All right, what kind of damage would this be? Sonic damage. Joe, I think you forgot something. You forgot to turn in your bottle cap. Just kidding.

I don't think we can use it for negative for his anymore, right? You can't use it at all. So there's that. That's such a real handicap on the bottle cap. Fortitude, fortitude. Okay, question. Now, I didn't do it for your mind thrust because I forgot, but you still can't see this thing from your distance.

The 50% mischance on ranged attacks. Would there be a mischance for spells? No. Whose side are you on? Yeah, I don't have an attack roll for the spell. Okay. Dude, I... Shut up. attack roll for the spell. Okay. Neither did I. Shut up.

Also hit me. What did you say? 12. That is a fail. Yes! Yes! So this ear-piercing scream shreds this thing. It does three points of sonic damage, and it is stunned for one round.

Oh, hell! Amazing. It is immune one round. Oh, hell! Amazing. It is immune to stunning. Oh. Could have used that with my 22 knowledge check. But you still, the damage got through. And it did not grow larger.

I'm sorry, best friend. Best friend. Best of luck. And I start moving toward the door. Best friend, you're grappled. It is also grappled, since it is the grappler. What would you like to do? Don't worry, James. I'm excited because I'm dying for the excitement of a live show in Brooklyn, New York, United States of America.

Let's stab out at this piece of shit, Paula Deen. With a seven. Is it grappled? Are you applying grapple to it? And it's a hit, yeah. Its AC is six while grappled. Wow. Yeah, oozes have very, a lot of oozes have very low AC. Okay, six points of damage.

It deflates. Yeah! We're Brooklynette! We're Brooklynette! Yeah! Let's do some shots! Wait, wait, wait Not to bring the room totally down But concealment

When I'm grappled? When I'm grappled That sounds like fucking bullshit Just roll above a 21 Or you don't get your shot Hey, does everyone understand now Why I hate Matthew K. Carrasco you don't get your shot Hey does everyone understand now Why I hate Matthew You already had your shot

What a piece of fucking garbage 25 No sleep till You already took an advance on your shot. He's right. on your shot. He's right. This shot is for all the people that think Pathfinder and Dungeon Dragons

is a bunch of asocial people hanging out in their basements away from society. Yeah, fuck that. Shooters. That was tequila Pretty sure it was whiskey I had whiskey

That was whiskey I think mine was tequila I don't think you've ever had whiskey I don't know how they fit the worm into this shot glass Oh, there's the tequila Alright, so You want to collect free parking? The Monopoly?

Skid, you landed on Park Place. Do you want to? What game are we playing? All right, no. This thing deflates. The fog has now started to envelop the admission area. Throughout this entire time, the fog, every round, has been seeping in, filling 10-foot squares every round that you've been out here.

You guys look all around you, and you can see a big picture window to the stage right, your left over here, that looks into another building that you would think is connected to, see those south doors in the lobby? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There must be a building there. But for the most part, everywhere you look is just fog and it is starting to envelop you. And as you're standing there,

everybody roll a perception check. 24. 24. 10. Sheila? 21. All right, so everybody except James, you see two more of these things

start to sludge towards you. We maybe should leave. Mr. Lady, help me. We must get best friend back. Fall back. Mr. Lady runs and jumps through the plate glass window. I'm kidding. No, no, no. I'm kidding. That would have been awesome. Awesome minute. Also,

I'm like 80 pounds. I probably would have bounced off. I'm like 80 pounds. I probably would have bounced off. I'm incredibly bruised. Mrs. O'Lady helps get best friend up to his feet. James and Mrs. O'Lady help best friend get inside. Oh, come on. We can show TJ Hooker. Just do it. We don't even see Sheila. Sheila!

If you're out there, come back! We can't just run away, though. We have to cover the door to protect the others. No, leave it open. I'm sure it's fine. All right, so you run back inside. And we'll squeeze the door shut. All right, you close the doors. Within a minute, the fog that has started to fill the room dissipates. Can we do knowledge checks on the fog before that happens?

Sure, sure. I would say knowledge arcana or planes. 23 on Arcana. 17. Or Plains, did you say? Or Plains, yeah. 18. Yeah, so the fog itself doesn't have any, we'll say, magical, harmful properties.

It's really just providing concealment, but it is enveloping. From the time you were out there just looking around, if you looked to the horizon, it looks like it's enveloping the entire island. Now, in the dream that you had, not you, you died, but in the dream that you had, you would, like, walk into the fog

and then, like, walk out and be, like, 70 feet away from where you walked in. Now, obviously, seeing all those bulbous masses in the distance, some of which have come out. Some look giant. They weren't all the size of this. Some look like colossal giants walking

around in the fog as well. That's so cool. So ridiculously cool. You feel like there is no way out. Certainly not out the front door. I think Grant wants to say something. Here's a question. Yeah.

I'm wondering if these creatures only exist in the fog, or if they might change if they come in from the fog. So I want to drag the gelatinous body of Paula Deen back inside. You want to go back out there? Just to grab the body and pull it back inside To see how it reacts to clean air Okay, so you open the door Heal myself, I'm not doing it I'm a death door, I mean, come on

James, lead the way There were two more closing in on us So you fool, you fool There were two more closing in, right? Directly? Yeah, you saw two more come out of the fog Then I wouldn't do that No, I'm not going out there Oh, do it! closing in, right? Directly? Yeah, you saw two more, like, come out of the fog and come out. Then I wouldn't do that.

Yeah, you wouldn't. No, I'm not going out there. Oh, do it! Sheila starts prying open the door to get out there. No, Sheila, Sheila, perhaps another time. Right. Just give me a cue.

I'll be there. Will do. As you guys are sort of recovering from that battle with the hungry flesh, best friend, you feel really, really shitty. And whatever that thing had on its body, you feel like you yourself are being infested with tumors. Oh, man. You take one point

of con and one point of charisma damage and you are still sick. The tumors are growing inside of you. One point of con, one point of charisma? Yes, sir. Can I ask a question about the stomach sounds

that you described? I'll allow it. Did we get the sense they were coming from that creature or the creatures or was it the environment around us? It felt like the environment. It felt like it was maybe even in your head. It was the type of thing that you wanted to look to the other guys and be like, is everyone hearing that stomach

sound? It felt like it was all that stomach being digested. It kind of felt like that, too. Because you said the ground was shifting if, like, the convulsions and the constrictions of the stomach. Have we been eaten by some great creature? I also think that as soon as Best Friend

sees these tumors going through himself, he just goes, My God, do you realize what we've seen? This is madness! There's no reason there should be tumors walking around in yellow fog. Why can't we leave this place? Why? This is insane.

We don't have the answers, best friend. Hold it together. Slap. Those people in there are counting on you to be brave. Now, lift your chin. Be strong. Don't be a weak, weak individual. You're very wise for a rat.

I'm no rat. I'm no rat! What, Hump? Can you heal yourself so we can open another door quickly? I've already healed myself because I'm a coward, first and foremost. You guys have a lot of options here now I don't know if deeper into the asylum Is the option yet You also know that like you don't have great news

For winter There's also that room at the gatehouse that we were being led to open Well no there's rooms back There's the gatehouse which you walked through That had those two guards And then there's rooms back. There's the gatehouse which you walked through that had those two guards. And then there's the two doors to the south which, you know, at least you know they are safe. You feel as if they're safe. They just haven't been investigated.

So you have those two doors to the south. You have the gatehouse which you haven't looked through which they've looked at. They just don't know. They don't have the eye that you do, Mrs. O'Lady, as an investigator. And then there's nine sets of doors in the admission area. Should we quickly take a look in those rooms we haven't been in and then make our way into one of these other doors? Yes. Maybe there'll be something to help.

I could go for safe. Yes. Perhaps they missed something in their first glance at these rooms. Okay. So which one do you want to do? Do you want to do the first one you would come to? Sure. And then the second one?

Sure. All right. So you open that door just past where the curtain was, and it is an empty room. There's no one in it. However, there is... Thrilling. We know what the live audiences want.

Yeah. That's right. Empty rooms, baby. Gets them every time. Whole lot of... Brooklyn has always been an empty room kind of crowd. What's that mean? All right, so you see candles sort of array themselves

before a violet wall hanging, embroidered with the shape of a spiraling comet, which you know to be the sign of phrasma. There is a wall of bars dividing that room, but that door there, inside of the room, behind that door, is a room of files. It looks like a personal shrine. And you said that the nurse leader said that maybe if we found our records, we would know about why we were here. This is incredible!

This must be our priority. Mrs. O'Lady wants nothing more than to get a look at those files. Yes, I'm with you, Mrs. O'Lady. All right, it's locked. This room is full of religious iconography. It would make sense. This is an asylum.

There's a chapel. There would probably be a cha sense. This is an asylum. There's a chapel. There would probably be a chaplain on hand at the asylum. So it stands to reason that this was probably his or her personal shrine. If the chapel is right there,

this was his or her office. But also hanging on the wall is a cat of nine tails. Sexy. Detect magic on that. Oh, it's magical. Oh, yeah. But not in the Pathfinder sense.

Oh, hell. Can I try a disabled device on the lock? You sure can. I bet you fail. Yeah, my don't know. My dice rolling has not been great. 20. DC 20.

Oh! What? This is a lady. Let's do a shot, huh? Yeah! Wait, do we have another one? Oh, my God! I'm going to wind it down, huh? Do we have another one? Oh, my God! Oh, this is tequila.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear. That's you! That's you! That's you! That's you! That's you! Oh, you guys.

Ta-ta-ta-ta. That was tequila. You don't like tequila? DC 20. You break through. Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. That was tequila. You don't like tequila? DC 20. You break through. Ka-chink. That is amazing. And you see hundreds of files

documenting Pash patients as well as, like, a subset of Briarstone's current population. You also find a cabinet that holds cleric's vestments suited for a cleric of Phrasma, which there is not in the party. A clean leather lash. War priest?

War priest work? Maybe. War priest vestments? A clean leather lash and a box containing two scrolls and a wand. Oh. Let me upgrade you. I assume you'll be able to hit your spellcraft check,

so I will tell you it's a scroll of cure light wounds. Oh, very nice. A scroll of sanctuary. Oh. And a wand of lesser restoration. Oh. Wow. Much. a scroll of sanctuary, and a wand of lesser restoration. Oh, wow! Watch. With seven charges left on it.

That is great. These files, it would take you hours and hours and hours to go through. Great, great, we do it. It's the first thing that we do. Do you want to take hours to look at it? Yeah. All right, so you look through. I don't think you understand that this is the thing that Mrs. Old Lady has been the most excited about since waking up in this place.

So you woke up. You went outside to just get some fresh air. Fought a hungry flesh. Killed it. Came back in. And then you went into this room. And now you've found these records. You broke in.

And you look and you look and you look for, I'd say, about four hours. And you don't see anything in there connected to any one of you. Can we do a perception check to see if these were tampered with, as if our records were removed? Yes, that's going to be... You can go perception, or if you have a high enough bluff, I'd let you roll a bluff check. Ooh! 25.

Beats me. 13. Sheila, you feel pretty confident that, like, nothing has been removed from here of significance. So, if anything, even though that doesn't tell you who you are, it tells you that you're not part of this. That we're not inmates? Maybe not inmates.

I mean, is most of it in patience? Most of it is like all of Briarstone's patience past and current, and you're not listed in there. So if anything, you should learn from this that maybe you were something else. Do we see Loic Alshonin? Yep.

Everyone that you've met, Loic Alshonin. Well, Nasia's one of the nurses. Nurses. But they're in there. What about... Bates, the young boy. What about one Mr. Vandalus? Oh.

Does it have his strengths and weaknesses listed? You do see paperwork for Elver Zandalus, but it is very... It looks like most of the papers have been removed. Oh. Words fail. Words fail. All right.

So you see, like, yes, Alvarez Zandaloose, human, male, admitted, and then like everything is taken like it's been brought to another part of the asylum. Frustrating. Yeah, very frustrating. You guys want to check the next room? Yeah. Alright, so you open the next room

and Swim, swam, swam. There are three... Swim, swam, swam. There are three Swim, swam, swam. There are three people inside. Oh. There is a man and two children.

You should just open fire on them. Yeah. I bring you love. All right, so the room itself, there's a nest of cushions and linens squeezing between the room's rear wall and a battered desk in the room that's covered in, like, origami.

So there's, like, a bunch of folded animals. There's a giraffe. There's, you know, a bird and a fucking elephant. I don't know. Again, there's a bird and a fucking elephant I don't know Again There's a sculpted emblem Of a spiraling comet Overlooking the otherwise ransacked room In the chapel there are

Statues to every deity But the prominent deity was that of Phrasma Both of these rooms are dedicated Directly to Phrasma The shelves on the walls have all been chopped up. You think, oh, this is probably part of the kindling. There are three people in this room.

There's a man and two children. The man is played by Anthony Carrigan. Do you know this guy? He's on Barry. I'm going to bring up his picture right now. Do you know this dude? Make it small, and then I'll zoom in because of Fog of War. No one can see.

You know that guy. You know him on Barry? He plays the... I think he plays Zaz in Gotham City. Anyways, he plays the man and both is a young boy and a young girl

And they're both played by Matthew Capitacasa And you open the door And the two children are They're holding twigs I can see the twigs And he's holding a giant log And he says oh my name

is Talman Leolis I watch the children and the children watch me oh Troy sense motive seven Troy. Sensimotive. Seven.

The children are like, we like to watch. You are going down the wrong road. What are you doing in this room? This small cramped room. Everyone is over there. Why are you not with the rest of them? He's like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm not used to talking to people.

I literally just watch the children and they watch me. Watch you what? What did you think? I wasn't thinking anything. I watch the children. We do origami. I've heard about you from Captain York. You guys are cool.

Just stay away from the kids. And you're cool as well. Thank you. That's what I've heard. Seems like there's another podcast being recorded by the bar. What's going on in the bar over there? It's a class accident. You've got like five minutes left.

Just chill out for five minutes. So, yeah, he's just like, he's a little creepy. I obviously made him extra creepy, but he's just, he tells you, like, he's in charge of watching the children. He has them doing, like, special projects like origami. And Winter would verify this? Winter would verify this, yeah. He's cool.

Best friend's going to run over to the cabinet and look up Tom and Leo Leis' records inside to see if there's anything wrong with them. There's no tone. No, he's cool. Oh, he's cool. Yeah, he's cool, guys. He's actually, if you look up the records, you see that he worked there. He was a nurse. Okay. He's very handsome. And he's just, he's

very concerned with the children. If you corroborate with Winter, you find out that he worked in the children's wing of the asylum, and so he took a special interest in the children when all this the asylum, and so he took a special interest in the children when all this shit went down, because these children are both Are there more than two children?

Or are there only two children in the whole? Well, there was a child that you healed that was in the chapel, but these two children are here, basically between Winter and Talmud, they'll tell you the like they're here to watch over them in case they have nightmares.

Because the nightmares have been infecting everyone. That's so scary. But yes, he is not a pedophile. Shot! Do these folded animals do anything besides bide the time?

Do they protect you? Are there any properties they have? Just occupy. You know, he pulls you aside and he's like, it helps occupy their minds because there's a lot of crazy stuff going on. I saw that you disposed of the wall.

Thank you. We put that sheet up to keep them from being afraid, but yes, they are suffering, like all of us. But since they are children, they are more susceptible to these nightmares. Can I show you something? James comes in, and he gives a weird rat smile to one of the children. And they're like, it's like, no, no, no, it's quite okay.

Cut the mic, cut the mic. Can I see that? Rachel, cut his mic, please. Can I see that bird? So there's this little origami bird. So little Matthew Capitacasa with pigtails. Yeah. Hands on the bird, he takes it for a moment.

Hands on the pigtail. And he's like, and he's like, show them. Show them that all will be okay fly for us show us the lightness of your being and he casts prestidigitation and the origami bird like flies

into the air that's kind of cool and then it comes down and it lands back in his hand and he says see everything will be fine and hands it back to the girl. The Matthew Kabat-Kazan. Right. And she's like,

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Please leave! Please leave the children! And he slams the door and puts you back. He's outside, he's like,

tough crowd. Tough room. He's outside. He's like, tough crowd. Tough room. That child. That was why she was committed. It was a magician that once did something like that. I have terrible instincts. If only you had read his file. That was in your pile.

All right. So you've searched those rooms. There might be some stuff in the chapel gatehouse, but nothing of, like, important significance, because there are guards in there. They would have searched that room. What do you want to do now? You've got this admission area that has doors going all over the place.

You know that you can't get out. This door to the south, the southeast, seems like it connects to that plate glass window, or as you or that picture frame window that we saw. I'm definitely curious about that. I'm curious as well. I like the way you think. I like the way

you think. I like the way you think. No. No. I thought... No. Alright, so you want to go check out that room. All right, what do you do? You guys are all over there?

Check it out. Who does what? James will open it stealthily. Okay. Best friend will step back ten feet. Eighteen. All right, there is a lot of interesting things in this room. Okay? Okay. There are a lot of interesting things in this room. Okay?

There are a lot of interesting things in this room? There are. Subject for agreement. Shut up. Shut up. Can't help it. This entire show is made up. Just like your grammar rules. It's made up with words and words matter. That doesn't deserve

applause. Thank you for that. As though this room had been plucked from the halls of That doesn't deserve a pause. Thank you for that. As though this room had been plucked from the halls of some warm country estate, it is filled with inviting furnishings. You see a hearth ready for a fire. Doesn't that remind you of home? Yeah, I wouldn't know. Artwork populated by picnicking families. You see a cage in the shape of a grandiose mansion

with colorful taxidermic birds inside. You see those large windows that you thought about jumping through that may have once looked out over colorful flower beds but now only show yellow mist. Let's see, is that it? Oh no, actually there's two more things. Lying on the ground is

a body that looks like it was beaten to death. Jesus. And above the hearth is a beautiful stuffed elk that has a battered corpse impaled on the antlers. Oh, God. Do you walk into the room?

Yes. Yes. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. What do you do, Mrs. O'Lady? She wants to go to the body on the ground and see if it's all right, if it's still alive. So you go and... Unless it looks obviously dead.

What do you do, James? James walks in a trance towards the elk, looking at the body, because it seems like some sort of symbolic kill, and he's very fascinated by this. Okay. Slowly walks toward it. What do you do, best friend? Best friend sighs and walks in lockstep with Sheila into absolute madness. Sheila, what do you do?

He just said what I did. As you walk in and do your things, as Mrs. Old Lady leans down to check out the body, you just hear... Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep. The pleasant sound of birds cheeping. Cheeping? Cheeping. I thought it was Tommy Wiseau.

Chirping. Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep. And it's coming from the direction of the birdcage. And then it's like cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep. And it starts to sound like this intense screech that fills the room

and all of you start to feel the ground underneath your feet disappear and we'll see you in Seattle oh oh oh no oh And we'll see you in Seattle. Oh, shit.

Oh, no. Oh, God. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it.

That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it.

That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it.

That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it.

That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it.

That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. Thank you. Outro Music