The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 9 – Sweet, Sweet Marguerite

Episode Date: June 6, 2022

Less than 48 hours later, the boys were back at the HI-FI for their second Glass Cannon Live! show of the GenCon 2019 weekend. This was a party from start to finish as the SOLD OUT crowd spit in the face of the don't send drinks rule, but that didn't stop our heroes from uncovering some campaign shattering information! This is one you have to see to believe or, if you are Matthew and Grant, to remember. Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Grant Berger and Matthew Capodicasa as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/t4scfocyOdQ Recap 11:03 Gameplay 18:40 For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Oh, you thought you could get rid of us! But just like Matthew, every single week we just keep coming back, even though you know you're not wanted. Just like Matthew. Everybody having a fun

Gen Con, huh? Yeah? Yeah? Anybody get to play some Pathfinder 2nd Edition? What about a new game? Anybody play a game they've never played before?

Anybody have random con sex with a stranger? This guy? Yeah. A few woos. Get after it, madam. Good thing we have the brand new glass cannon rubbers. Come on, Grant, throw it out to the crowd.

The dice sold so well, we should just market glass cannon condoms. They're harder to autograph, though. Yeah. No problem. They're also neon colored, though, so that's good. And if our faces were on them, I would never want to use a Joe's just in case it broke. It would be bad. It's a one time

and really, a natural one could be really bad. Exceptionally bad skin. So bad. We would never sell those. No. This is a,

this is a special show for us because this is the first time we've done two shows in less than 48 hours and the first time we've done two shows in less than 48 hours and the first time we've done a show with sunlight. So because of our dedication to you,

we started drinking at 10.30 a.m. Yeah. Had to recreate that experience. You're welcome. But here's the thing. We need you guys to drink like it's 8 p.m. just so we're a lot funnier

So let's drink it The bartenders are amazing Buy everything they have Let's really clean them out So the 8pm show People are like I'm sorry there's no liquor left Glass Cannon Nation We don't know what that means but they drank all of our liquor

That is what that means, but they drank all of our liquor. That is what that means. Speaking of which, anybody have five glasses of club soda? We have some time, but if we could get five glasses of club soda, of various amounts of club soda. I want to take a moment, introduce you to my good buddies, my friends, my business partners, and people I was a lot closer with before money and minor celebrity got involved. Very minor. Very minor.

Very, very minor. Minor, yes. Skid Marr, everybody! Anybody know Skid? Skid, did you ever think at your advanced age that you would get to see not one, but two Gen Cons, let alone movable type? Oh, well, for...

How was Gutenberg? Yeah. I got Matthew. The movable type guy. Matthew loves a good movable type joke. I die for that. Nothing like a Gutenberg joke to start off the evening. Yeah, well first I never thought I'd make it this far

for one thing. Right. But second, this is awesome and I can't see anything. Right. Right now. So, yeah, this bit was good. It's just ruined because Joe didn't bring a suit jacket. It's too hot up here. It's too hot, man. I mean, Skid, I mean Tubbs and Crockett did

eventually take off their sunglasses when they went inside. Yeah. No, they did. There's several posters that my sister had of Don Johnson in the surf shirtless. So, yeah, he could take off the shirt and the jacket. Be honest. Those were your posters. Yeah.

Well, I had to. There was spillover from my own room. I couldn't keep them all. Where am I going to put all these posters? You can take your glasses off, but you all have to do it at the same time. Here we go. Three, two, one. Oh, that's fun. That's cool.

And then the Who's Bubba Riley comes on. Yeah! I feel like Don Johnson just after he got discharged from a hospital. We just had our intravenous pulled out because we're very dehydrated.

We all just pooped so we could clear. Speaking of poop, how are you, Matthew? Look at that little guy. Can everybody see him? We need to get him an extra seat. People in the back there, can you see him? He must look just like a little speck of dust. Oh, thank you. A little tiny bearded speck of dust., can you see him? He must look just like a little speck of dust. Oh, thank you. A little tiny bearded speck of dust.

How are you, pal? I'm good, how are you? Matthew, I'm fine. Oh, thank you. Oh, you really did bring the club soda. Awesome. Thank you. That's right, just a little bit.

It's like ordering something from Starbucks with a little room. We just need a little room for eventual liver damage. Folks. The liver damage. Folks, The liver damage is immediate, by the way. Not eventual. I make fun of you, Matthew, but let me ask you, you're on vacation, technically. It's a work vacation, but are you still

getting up at 5, 3 a.m. every day to write, even while we're doing this? I'm on vacation, so I make it six. You make it six. Well, here's the thing. There's a reason that Matthew is Where he is Because He told me

Even during his honeymoon You woke up At like 5.36 Every single day Of your honeymoon To write right I woke up on the day Of my wedding

On the day of your wedding To write Yeah I had a lot I had a lot of time to kill Well there's a reason That Matthew is Where he is

So give it up for Matthew He works very very hard I had a lot of time to kill. Well, there's a reason that Matthew is where he is. So give it up for Matthew. He works very, very hard. No, it's commendable. It's inspiring. And you've got to let us know if one of your little skits is going up. If I'm not busy doing literally anything else, I'll definitely come check it out. I always like, wait for it.

I'm sure they're very cute. There it is. You're going to feel so horrible in 10 years when he's super famous and the rest of us are all burned out. Nothing left to offer. Homeless. Do writers get... I don't think writers get famous.

Well, you'll be the first. Thanks, kid. Good night, everybody. Everybody help me out here. Grant Berger. Grant. Grant, kid. Good night, everybody. Everybody help me out here. Grant Burger. Grant. Grant Burger. Grant Burger.

Is that Grant David Burger we're talking about? Oh, yeah. We're talking about Grant D. Burger. Grant, I don't want to embarrass you, but I want you to stand up and show everybody how thin you are. Look at this fucking guy. Woo! You have dropped some serious LBs, buddy. 36 so far, buddy.

Or, as it's called in the imperial measure, one capatacaza. He lost one whole capatacaza. Matthew still has to sit in a car seat, technically. What's your secret, Grant? 36 pounds is no joke. I got to say, it's all due to the GCP niche that's in GCP Get Fit, started by Kayvon, the admin.

Join it today. Get a Fitbit, an Apple Watch, whatever. You can compete against me. I've been number one for four months in a row. Join me. But I also have to apologize to you, Troy. Why? Because I've been on this fitness kick,

and I scheduled our annual GCPI exam right before the show, which is why we were all wearing eyeglasses. We're all dilated. That's true. We can't see shit. Oh, God. Yeah. You know, it's a shame.

You lost all that weight, but your head's still about 45 pounds. Look at that thing. That thing is giant. And it's ironic because you've got this big old head, but you're known. Look at that thing. Thing is giant. And it's ironic because you've got this big old head, but you're known for your lack of intelligence.

So you think there would be more brain in there. There's just a fat head surrounded by, just a brain surrounded by fear and anger. I think it's like that thing we fought

in last session. Right. You're a Lovecraftian creature. If I shave the side of my head, you'd see another face right on the side. Yeah. Grant, your mother's like, you had a twin, but it was lost in the womb. We never found it.

It is true. I know twins, and one of the twins absorbed the other's strength, and she's missing a pinky nail and a toenail because of it. You got weird, Grant. Yeah, sorry. Wait, I want to go back. A brain surrounded in fear and anger. Yeah, just a nice construction.

You like that? Yeah. It also perfectly describes you. Well, speaking of fear and anger, Joe O'Brien, everybody! Yeah! Yeah! Yes!

Joe and I hit the con floor early today because we're on dad time, so we're up at seven at the con. And we demoed a game. We played Key Forge by Fantasy Flights. We were like Let's try this Seems to be popular It really doesn't matter

What game we were playing Because every single game I demo with Joe Goes exactly the same way There's an element Of randomness And chance And Joe

It's his turn first He'll take 45 minutes To make one move You try to have A conversation with him And he's just staring At the rule book Staring at the cards

He finally makes his move And then looks up at you. I do something cool. And then he's just like, of course. Of course. You get the one card. The one card. Every card I have sucks. And this happens every single time.

You get the one card. I don't even want to play. Why are we even playing this? Nothing I do is fun. That's an exact impression. I do take a while I'm just going to throw this out here I don't want to take a lot of time analyzing

And I think this card kills every card of yours I'm showing you now And then the guy was demoing He looks at your card and he's like Yeah, that's exactly what that That card is incredible He had never seen it before And I was like, see? I'm not crazy.

It was a good time. Now, I want you all to remember the rules, you savages. Don't send us shots. Don't talk out unless you're funnier than Paula Poundstone. That's easy. And, uh...

And, uh, there's gonna be a lot of talking out. Don't follow your your dreams or we'll destroy you. That's what we learned the other night, right? Don't follow your dreams. Thank you, Grant. Let's recycle that bit. We really crushed the other night. We should add something new. Someone took a picture of it and I was laughing for like 15 minutes.

That was like the funniest thing I've ever done. No podcast. Like out of context, what does that mean? Are they canceling all of their podcasts? We have a dream. It's to cancel all of our podcasts. The market is so satiated. It's been a hell of a run. Let's talk about

Strange Aeons because I want to push the action tonight. I want to get to a certain place that's going to blow this story wide open. Oh my god. I like that. So in order to do so, I need to jump right in. Here comes the recap. Recap music,

Joe! Look at his face. Every single time. He's terrified This is like the ninth one of these we've done Oh there it is Recap Damn it I thought we had a really nice recap

It's a little low That font Little known fact That font costs Little known fact, that font cost $20,000. We couldn't animate it because we spent all the money on the font. Now listen, if you've been living under a rock, if you...

I think you can probably just leave that up for the rest of the show. That's an evergreen. That's an evergreen, that one. It's like a pinned tweet. Unless you've been living under a rock, maybe you don't know the story so far. Four strangers awake in a fugue state

and find themselves in a rundown asylum full of aberrations, haunts, and other strange manifestations that seem to be seeping in from another dimension, intrinsically linked to the realm of nightmares. The four of you. Mrs. O'Lady. You don't have to cheer.

James. Best friend and Sheila. James. Best friend and Sheila. The four of them find a group of survivors and their leader tells you there was an uprising here at this asylum led by a patient named Oliver Zandalus. Praise, praise. At the same time, there were strange tremors

that shook the very Foundations of the building Leaving it in its half destroyed State you need to find A way out of the building but if being Isolated on an island Wasn't enough it's also enveloped In this supernatural

Yellow fog As you continue your search You find dead bodies, both of Zandalus' followers, the Apostles in Orpiment. And now, after Thursday night's show, bodies of doctors from the asylum. Two sessions ago,

back in Seattle in 84, you ended your sesh in a library after dispatching of two ratlings who made their way to the asylum after Tremors destroyed the rat warrens underneath the building. You spare one of them, little Jenny Two-Tails.

Oh. Desna Restresson. And you make a deal with her to go on exploring for you and report back. If she does, you'll teach her how go on exploring for you and report back. If she does, you'll teach her how to read. It's a long story. One that Jenny could not read.

That's not even in my notes. I was just like, I think that'll be fun. She didn't even get a chance to wait for the movie. No. I want to take a sip of this. It's so bad, but I've got so much to say. As you start to pour over The books in the library

To learn more About Briarstone You hear someone Cry out From the doors To the north And so you go there And you see your old pal

Tiny murder clown Standing above the now dead And dismembered body Of Jenny Two Tails And he's covered in her blood He murdered her Because that's what he does First best Yes and dismembered body of Jenny Two-Tails. And he's covered in her blood. He murdered her. Because that's what he does first best.

Yes. Yes. Now the five of you check in with Winter to rest, and then you come back to the library, and you spent 16 hours in real time. It was a very long show the other night. Doing research. We all just fell asleep for eight hours on stage. Right, it was a little weird.

People were drinking coffee. Yeah. We didn't need to do it. It was probably unnecessary. You spend this time doing research about Briarstone Isle, trying to figure out how the asylum was built, and you find out that it was built

under the supervision of Count Hazerton Lowell I, not the fourth, who was the one that Winter came here to investigate. A couple hundred years ago, it was built as a place where the, what's the word I'm looking for? Mentally insane. Mentally insane could come and be cured in humane, non-magical ways. As you dig further, you find out that there were strange issues that came about

as the place was being built. The overseer died mysteriously. How mysteriously? A couple of days after he disappeared, his entrails were found strewn artfully about the site. They shut construction down, but soon thereafter, if you went far away from the island, you could still see little lights floating about the island like people were still working there. It's just the Briarstone Witch, they would say. But that was just a myth. A spook story that criminals would tell their kids at night.

Rat on your pop, the Briarstone Witch will get you. Seven people saw that. I know. I can't believe how young get you. Seven people. I know. I can't believe how young they are. Seven people. Thank you. Well, he got it. Was that a reference? Shut up, Matthew. Oh my god.

Guys, watch Maiden Manhattan backstage on his iPad. You shall not denigrate the cinematic talents of J-Lo. And Ralph Fiennes, their chemistry is undeniable. My friend is in that movie. My friend from college. She plays her best friend in that movie.

That's why I watched it. He's supporting friends of mine he doesn't know. I've seen that movie several times. I've never seen the movie, but I bet you the main character's name has the word maid in it. No, that's not true. The name's Susan Maid.

I'm going to find a way to make it work in Manhattan. I don't know. It sounds like a stupid movie. She is a maid in Manhattan. Matthew, please. You're ruining it. You're ruining the plot. Her name is Marisa.

So you finish all this research. You continue north exploring. And you find, first of all, a completely collapsed room with this single door standing there. A closet, it looks like. You open it up and you find all these jars full of fluid and aberrant brains, spinal cords, tumor-like horns,

all nestled in a dissected body Of a human As you're standing there looking One of the jars comes flying off the shelves At Sheila And you see these undead large headed fetuses Just come out One of them throws the thing at Sheila

The other one comes out Bites best friend and attaches to it Luckily you dispatch of them You keep searching You check the next room and you find two doctors face down on their desk, dead from apparent blows to the back of their head. The next room you look into has fissures in the floor, cracks in the foundation, most likely from these tremors you've heard about. As Best Friend goes to investigate, two dire rats jump out of the fissures.

Meanwhile, Sheila feels a little tap, tap, tap on his shoulder, followed by a surge of electricity. It's Indianapolis. It's Glass Cannon Live. It's our second show in Three days

Let's roll for initiative Let's do it That, Sound, Set, and More Are available at GlassCannonPodcast.com. Looks like Joe had a killer niche to start off with. Talk to me, Sheila, or as I mistyped here, Shella. Shella?

Oh, my God. Shella has got a 23 for initiative. Yeah, there you go. Under my arm, Shella. James. Natural three for a six. Good start, natural three. Solid start of the day.

Best friend. It can only get better from there. Natural 20 for a 19. See, Joe, that one day can happen to you. Nope, no it can't. 19 for BF. Mrs. O. Nope. No, it can't. 19 for BF. Misses out. 10. Aw, 10. Oh. You know what? I feel like

we should start with a surprise round. Let's just get this surprise round right out of the way here. I'm going to start with the dire rats that are both going to attack best friend. Is that okay with you, best friend? No. Okay, here they come. First one goes to bite you flat-footed AC.

I'm assuming a six misses. Second one, 15. Miss. Come on! Don't cheer for him. It's Grant. From behind you, Sheila. Oh, no.

This creature emerges here. See this thing? Oh, no! I'm gonna get you, see? Wait, is that the same thing as Jenny Two-Tails? Is it the same kind of thing? It seems to be of the same species. Okay.

It was invisible. It appears because it is now attacking you with a spell. with a spell. I'm going to need you to tell me if this hits your touch A, C, 18. Yes, that does hit my touch A, C.

It hits the touch A, C of your second level character? In fact, it does. Well, that's as shocking as this grasp. Oh, no. Wow. Worth every penny, huh. Worth every penny, huh? Worth every penny for these kind of jokes. I think you need that drink.

That's as good as Apollo Poundstone, if not slightly better. All right, let's talk about 3D6 worth of damage here, Skip. Oh, my God. Did I get a save or anything? Shocking grasp here. Let's see. Successful. Does it? No. Are here. Let's see. Successful. No.

Are you wearing metal armor? I'm not. All right. I'm still going to need you to take 12 points of damage. Oh man. That is very bad for me. Saving throw. None.

Round one. And it is Sheila's turn. Sheila, this creature is now visible to you, having made an offensive action. Oh, man. I am going... Can I

step back into the doorway space, like there? That little space there? Yeah. Sort of like wedge your body halfway into the wall. Well, the door too so there's a little yeah how about we say you're squeezing so you'll take a little penalty to your a okay so that really matters you're gonna hit him no matter what well yeah so she looked like she steps or he sorry steps back. He, sorry, steps back. He's like, ah! That really hurt my arm! And then he takes a five-foot step back and pops off his little bandolier,

takes a bomb, whoop, and throws it right at the rat guy. Okay. Natural one. Motherfucker. Oh, no. Is that a fan fumble? I think that's going to be a fan fumble.

Oh, no. We were setting up, and you were like, I think that's going to be a fan fumble Oh no We were setting up and you were like There were no fumbles and no crits the other night Is there an Indiana one we could play? Yeah Joe, let's have an Indiana special Because I'm sure 95% of the audience is local I'm not seeing anything too close Wheaton, Illinois 95% of the audience is local. I'm not seeing anything too close.

Wheaton, Illinois. Cody from Wheaton, Illinois. Cody, where you at? Cody. Fuck you, Cody. It's not that far of a drive. Our cameraman made that drive. It's sold out.

You could have carpooled with him, Cody. He couldn't get in. There is like an 80% chance that this is the guy that composed the music we're listening to right now. Really? I think this is Cody. Really? Yeah. No, Danny is the name of it. Danny Hochstatter is the guy.

Oh, no. No, Cody is the composer. Oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Okay. The same ones that composed A 16 Ocean View. Wow. All right.

Cody. Probably better known for that Than this Alright You are suddenly I'm sorry It is The red eye supreme You are suddenly overcome

By exhaustion Due to a rough night of rest And the lack of ability To press on You take the exhausted condition For 1d3 rounds Okay A successful fortitude save

Reduces this condition To fatigued Okay Ooh Exhausted would be Move at half speed, minus six penalty to strength and dex. Oh. Okay. Well, yeah, that would be bad.

Okay, so my fortitude roll is 22. Oh! Against the AC of this creature. You're all right. All right. So it's fatigued condition for how many rounds? How many? What's it?

1D3. 1D3? You want to roll it? Yeah, sure. One round. Not bad. Okay. All right.

We're all right. It's not bad. You can't run or charge and a minus. Any glasses? Two penalty to strength and dex. What happens to the bomb that I threw at him? Yeah, what happens to the bomb that he threw? You roll a one D8.

Yeah, yeah. It just misses. So it's whatever the miss rules are for a throne. I think, yeah, it just goes around your target. All right. Yeah, yeah, it just misses. So it's whatever the misrules are for a throne. I think, yeah, it just goes around your target. Please don't put it right in front of you. 3. 6, 3. Alright, so that ends up behind him. Oh, nice. Which he'll roll a reflex

save to see if he can avoid a little splash damage. 17. Yeah, so he takes no damage. He's alright. Best friend. These are my friends. I haven't had friends in so long. I have to stop them.

And he steps up with a plus one dagger to swing at the diorite in front of him with a three. Oh, man. Eight. Add your bonus. Eight. Sorry I wasted everyone's time. Mrs. O'Lan.

Fun fact. It would take us 67 hours to walk from here to Wheaton, Illinois. wasted everyone's time. Mrs. O'Leary. Fun fact. It would take us 67 hours to walk from here to Wheaton, Illinois. Fun. Fun is a strong word. Just roll a will save

for that fact. Walking in Wheaton. Roll a will save. Tell me why. On the caster guy. Tell me why I have to roll a wheel save. Tell me why. Who's rolling it?

I just wanted to say. The caster guy. The caster guy? How do you know he's a caster? Just cast a spell on me. Cast a spell on Sheila. I cast a spell on you. 14.

You succeed. Oh, come on. You take three points of damage from a mind thrust. Oh, come on! You take three points of damage from a Mind Thrust. Ooh, a Mind Thrust. And then Mrs. O'Lady will take a five-foot step. This is not a great round for the team so far. And you don't want to give these creatures a surprise round and a round to attack without doing a ton of damage.

Not good. Yeah, no, it's not good. Can I take a free action to speak? You always do. Fun fact. Yeah, no, it's not good. Can I take a free action to speak? You always do. Fun fact. I'll ignore that. You always do. I'll say,

Young man, we are friends and comrades of Jenny Two-Tails. She's dead. I don't add that information. We killed her. Roll a diplomacy save. Or check.

Yeah, roll diplomacy save. What's your diplomacy save bonus? Roll diplomacy check. Oh, come on, man. That'd be a natural one. Natural one? Natural one. Oh.

It's a bad start. Anyone want this die? Stop fighting. Guys, please. There's an old woman there. Give it to the choice. You just knocked her over. See, the people on the video don't know what actually happened.

I gotta see these guys live. He just looks at you and says, lies. And now he's mad at you. Oh, no. Oh, boy. It is the dire rat's turn. And these are dire circumstances. Am I right, guys?

dire circumstances. Am I right, guys? Be sure to stick around for Paula Poundstone at 8 tonight. That's why we had to do an afternoon show. 18 to hit, Grant? Exactly. It's only 4.30, but let me tell you, a couple of things are going to happen.

First thing, you're going to take three points of Dimash, and now I need going to take three points of damage. And now I need you to roll a fortitude save. Come on. Natural one. Oh, my God! Yes!

Yes! The heartland has stolen away my luck. We're never doing a matinee again I was going to say Everything seems to be fine Seem to be just fine The other one takes a bite Out of crime here

Oh man these new glass cannon dice They roll Pretty well but do they roll well enough For a 16 to hit you That does not hit Looks like I picked the wrong guy to bite. If only you had purchased some Della Blue Dice. No, no, no.

I saw seven of those in a trash can on the walk over here. How dare you? What a waste of money. What a real waste of money. All right, Mrs. Old Lady. If that's your real name. It's not. All right, Mrs. Old Lady, if that's your real name. It's not. All right, then.

It is this creature's turn, the one that you talked at from around the corner, it looks like. I talked in, I think I talked in that move. So he just, he looked at James and said, lies! It was James that said it. Yeah, well. I don't understand how you talk to it or how I talk to you or where you move. Aren't you behind a wall around a corner? You are behind a wall.

What is going on? I was over here. The map is not perfectly lined up. Yeah, blame that on Troy. Oh, it's the map's fault. Yes. Blame it on the map. No, it's your fault.

It's a big map. It's a big world, Matthew. You're blaming the map. I'm going to do an acid ray at you, Matthew. Are you there or are you... I'm where I am now. You are where you are. I was showing Joe a visual aid.

Well, sorry, James. It's coming at you. Range touch attack. Acid ray. That's going to be, I don't know, a 21 against your touch AC? That'll do. You sure? Okay.

Well, that's going to be... Oh, maybe a max damage. Seven points of acid damage. Oh, I'm sorry. Plus one for every X amount of levers. So that's going to be eight points of acid damage. Oh, that's awful. Give the people what they want.

James dying. No. No, don't you cheer at that! I got emails all week. Kill James. Kill James, they said. They were mostly from my parents. It's a great story to be told.

And it was another James. It wasn't you. I love this goddamn rat. You're up, James. He will take this burn damage and then turn back to the creature and just putting his hands up, do the same sort of thing and be like,

no, I told you, you fool, we're friends of Jenny Two-Tails. And he looks like slightly behind him so as to draw him to turn around. And imagine it like a film, like it zooms up on him and as he turns, she is standing 15 feet behind him. Just going like this.

Wow. Silent image. Wow. Wow. That's good. Wow. Joe's going to role play. That's awesome.

Wait, what is the image doing, Joe? Meanwhile, you're standing in a puddle of Jenny Two-Tails Right there, exactly where you're standing Oh, is that what that was? Well, he doesn't know that She's unrecognizable Was that a will save to disbelieve that illusion? No, only if he interacts with it

If he just sees it, he just sees her He can, you know, you roleplay that however you want Okay I need some time, a cheerless turn He can, you know, you roleplay that however you want. Okay. I need some time. Achilles turn. All right. He's just looking at you.

Oh, and I'm going to. Looking at Jenny. Looking at you. Looking at Jenny. He turns around, he sees Jenny, and he's just going to slowly back away. Well, actually, that leaves us not able to help with the rats at all. So he'll slide down this corridor and just be ready to shoot if he can. Go into the library, close the doors. Alright, so he's looking at you,

looking at the Jenny Illusion, looking at you, looking at the Jenny Illusion. It is Sheila's turn. Wait, I can't help but notice we went a full round without Tiny Murder Clown acting. Oh, thank you. He's on the map too. Alright, he will... You see,

as you come to the end of the round, Tiny Murder Clown looks at all of you and is like, I have an idea! And he bolts back into the library. You can just hear it. Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee! And he shuts the door behind him. Thank you for reminding me.

It was worth a shot. Sheila! She's a pretty unreliable companion, if you you ask me He'll be back at some other random show So Sheila I think Sheila's going to cast Cure light wounds on himself He's going to take an extract He's really badly hurt

He's very badly burned And he takes that drink Oh nice Nine points of healing. Yeah. Nine points of healing. All right. Did you move at all?

No, I stayed right there. Okay. Best friend. I can't just think about myself. I've seen his eyes. I've seen his eyes. I just stand. I've got a board and sword and I've got to hang and bang. Goes and swings at the person in front of him. Get him!

16 on the die for a 21 to hit. Yeah! That is a hit. Woo! That is a hit. Turn this thing around. Six points of damage against the diorite in front of him. And it's dead.

Yeah! Yeah! It's one diorite, Gramps. It's one diorite, Grant. It's one diorite. Stand up on the third kill. All right, you want to move it all? Five foot step or anything? No, because I want to shield Sheila, who's in desperate measures.

Okay. It is now Mrs. O'Lady's turn. Okay. Okay. Okay. Mrs. O'Lady is going to step out into the hall. Okay. I should step out into the door right there. Is that okay? Can I move there?

Yeah, that's fine. No, what's his name? Tiny Murder Clown. Just close the door. If you hadn't reminded me about Tiny Murder Clown, maybe I would have allowed it, but... Alas. That's brutal that you both took him away and locked us in the room. I know.

That's a really rough narrative. You're such an asshole. Yeah. Well, that's what Tiny Murder Clown would do. No, I agree. That's what he does. So I don't think I've tried this before, so I'm going to try it now.

Mrs. O'Lady reaches out into your mind, the mind of the caster, and casts Deja Vu. What's that? So I put your thought processes on a temporary loop. Whatever full round standard or move actions the creature took on its first turn after I cast

the spell, it must repeat that on the turn after that. Whoa. Wow. So if it goes to ask about Jenny Two Tails, it has to do it again next round. Wow. Wow. Look at that teamwork.

Look at that teamwork. I have two questions. One, is that from Kobold Press? It is from Occult Adventures. Oh, all right. Two, do I get a save? You do not. Oh, my God.

Wow. Holy shit. I feel like this has happened before. What has happened before will happen again. You are ice cold. You know what? I'm doing it on purpose. I know.

I'm trying to see how many groans I can get. All right, so. You don't know what I cast. Shut up. It's the dire rat's turn. And they're mad. They're mad at Matthew. They're going to take a bite.

They're going to try to take a bite. Well, they. The one remaining one. Oh, Natty 18 for a 19 against you, Grant. That'll hit. That's going to be two points of damage. Everything else seems to be just fine, but now it is this creature's turn.

So James casts an illusion of Jenny Two-Tails behind it. It's so funny that you picked Jenny Two-Tails, but I can't tell you why. He turns around and he's like, They were in love. He's like, my love! Oh, bottle cap! Bottle cap!

Yeah! Oh, bottle cap! Bottle cap! It's the only one I have, so share it with your friends. This is so sad. It's a Poland spring bottle cap. Not even. It's Hinkley Springs. Poland's arch nemesis.

Hinkley and Poland used to be brothers until they split off. That's right. They had different views on purifying water. Until they were partitioned by Germany and Russia. And Poland was a fascist.

That's right. Had different views on Vietnam. All right. He goes out, my love, and he rushes to it and goes to embrace her. Okay. So now do I roll a will save?

The correct answer is obviously. No, I'm wondering if it just fails because you would go right through it. I think if I physically touch a silent image, the first level spell, you tell me. I think if I try to physically touch the silent image, if anyone knows,

I think you just immediately would disbelieve it. It's not there. And it's a DC 15 will to disbelieve if interacted with. He goes to grab it. He's physically touching it. He realizes it's not there. And he's mad. Okay. And so he turns around. And he's gonna

have to do this for two rounds. But you don't know that. But I don't know that. I feel like I've done this before. He's going to have to do this for two rounds. But you don't know that. But I don't know that. I feel like I've done this before. He is going to attack Mrs. Old Lady. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't think...

What? Yeah, well, he moves back here. He moves back here. He does what is essentially... A hug? Yeah, it's a grapple. Yeah! That is gross.

If I wanted to go up to anybody and go like this, would you allow it as a free action? It would be a grapple if you tried to hug me, because I wouldn't allow it. But if you tried to hug the love of your life, they'd be standing there with open arms. I call bullshit. Acid Ray at Mrs. O'Lady.

24 against Touch AC. Yeah. For three points at Mrs. O'Lady. 24 against Touch AC. Yeah. For three points of damage. Fuck you, Troy. Fuck you, Troy. Three points of damage. Fuck you. Fuck you, Troy.

Are you telling me? Here's how it goes. Are you telling me that if you saw the love of your life, and you tried to interact with her, say, I'm going to use that word just randomly, that would be worth no action. Have you ever heard of free love? Yes, I have.

Love is a free action. And in that instant, love is a free action. No, no, no. No, love is a battlefield. That's true as well. He got me on a technicality. That's from Kobold Press, though.

The good news is he's going to do the exact same thing next round. I want to know, I love it. It is James's... I want you to show me. James, it's your turn. I'm putting an asterisk on this session. It's 40 minutes in,

we're completely off the rails. And I have 19 drinks in front of me. I should. Here we go. Try and have a conversation with him right now. I can't even do anything. I have no spells. I will delay.

Shocker. Shocker. There goes raising the ticket prices next time around. Oh, no, no. You know what? No. You know what? I will come out and shoot him

Shoot at him It was loaded when I walked in So even though I didn't shoot it last round it was still loaded Alright so I'll fire crossbow Light crossbow at this dude God damn it Miss 11 Right past him

Shocking Sheila Alright Sheila has had enough of this. Sheila steps forward, takes a five-foot step over here, and he shouts out, This is not grouse! And he tosses his third bomb of the day towards this rat dude.

You're going to try to hit him, yes? Trying to hit him. That is a natty 15. That is a 20 against touch. That is a direct hit, my friend. Hell yeah. Natural one. That is six points of damage.

Fire damage. Fire damage, and I don't get any save where it was a direct hit. No save for that, no. All right, six points of damage. Hey, six points of damage is six points of damage Fire damage And I don't get any save where it was a direct hit Six points of damage Six points of damage Best friend Best friend has to stay here to protect his friends He's going to swing out with a plus one kukri For a fucking four for us

Nine to hit Okay well let's see No that's a miss Mrs. O'Lady miss Mrs. O'Lady Okay Mrs. O'Lady Is going to cast Telekinetic projectile And throw a bit of rubble

At the caster A bit of rubble? Rubble Okay Or just like debris Okay debris And I miss And then

She shall step behind the wall Step behind The wall Dire rat's turn Comes after The F Step behind the wall. Step behind the wall. Dire rat's turn. Comes after the F. 11. Misses. Miss.

Yes. Nice. The rat, the other rat turns around and says, Oh, my love! Goes to hug. Isn't there. And then shoots another acid ray. Oh, no, I'm sorry.

Now I get to read the rest of the spell. Oh-ho! Oh, Matthew! Wow. Because you must attack me, because I was your target. Okay. You cannot attack me. So?

If circumstances would prevent the target from repeating the action, such as if the target is dead or the target cannot cast the same spell again, the target, you, becomes confused until the spell ends. Holy Wow! Wow. I guess I got confused.

So you are now confused. I am now confused. Now, do I roll that confusion now, or it's just that's my turn and I do it next time? I think you now now confused. I am now confused. Now, do I roll that confusion now, or it's just that's my turn and I do it next time? I think you now become confused. And the duration of this all is two rounds. So this would be this next round you're confused. Okay. As well.

So I lose the action because I didn't get to do it. All right, Matthew, I'm going to let that happen. It's James' turn. You're going to have a big opening here. Yeah, I can't do anything. Oh, boy. You can run up and hug him. It's free.

Nothing like surrounding yourself with the best and the brightest. You guys are such dicks. You got a bottle cap? I have a second level wizard. I take a five foot step. I reload the crossbow. Okay. And I'll fire at the caster again. There you go. Getting a natural 20 would be nice.

My buddy Ben's die. Come on, Ben. Come on, Ben. Nope. Eleven. Ah! Can't get it. Throw in your fucking bottle cap. I can't get it, man. Keep trying, Joe. Not on a crossbow shot. It's so low to hit anyway. We'll be in Philly in six months.

Maybe by then you can get a hit. Sheila. Wow, it's my turn again. Goes by fast when everybody misses. Yeah. You know what? I am going to cast Shield on myself. I'm going to take an Extract.

Okay. And cast Shield. And what does that give you? A plus two to your AC? Something like that. Something of that nature. Four. Plus four.

Okay. Do you want to move at all? Yeah. Sheila's going to go back around the corner here and go join his friend, Mrs. O'Lady. This is a real bugger, isn't it? Yes. Yes. Best friend. What do you got? I've got to

protect my friends. I've got to protect my friends. Swings out again. Natural fucking 20. Yeah! Very good. Oh no. Critical friend. Critical friend. Get it, Grant.

The entire stage is shaking. He's not lying. The venue is like, sir, please don't run on the stage. I'm so sorry. I apologize for the high five. Roll to confirm. 13 on the die for an 18. To confirm.

That is confirmed, Chris. Just roll damage. It's a die or a rat. Save your time, Joe. Okay, Chris. Just roll damage. It's a dire rat. Save your time, Joe. Okay, okay. 15 points of damage. It only had five hit points. It's very, very dead.

Way to handle yourself there, best friend. Mrs. O'Lady, you are crushing it. Joe, I want you to give Matthew your bottle cap. I think, don't even get me started. That should have been way better than what you did with it. Way better. Nah. It's my turn?

Yeah, it's your turn. Okay. Mrs. O'Lady, since her target is now confused, she'll step out and telekinetic projectile. Okay. And miss. And miss. I think it's this physical table. Yep. And miss. And miss. I think it's this physical table.

Yep. Flip it on these rolls. All right. My dire rats are dead. I'm going to roll a D100 here and see what I'll be able to do. Oh, boy. What'd you get?

I got a two. Fuck. Act normally. Oh. I could have bet you 50 bucks that I was going to roll act normally. I could have bet that as well. And I'm mad. I'm mad.

You have put up an image of his love, which he knows or doesn't know, is dead. You have made him confused. Now he's going to fuck you up. By the way, who sent us these beers? Is it just from anybody? No? What is it? Mystery beer.

Okay. Oh, I know that brewery. Oh, yeah. Mystery Brewery Company? Yeah. Interact with it. Yeah. Oh, it's a free action. It's a free action that's a free action so go nuts wasn't until yeah uh how about we do two magic missiles oh it'd be right uh it's got to be me

that's gonna be at mrs. o lady oh. You're standing right there. Come on. Two magic missiles. Ooh. That's a max damage and an almost max. Ooh, that is... That's actually a lot of damage. Five, seven, nine points of magic missile damage. Ow! How does your mind feel?

And then he will move up to be a little more offensive to kind of stand closer to you. It is James' turn. Rat against rat. What do you got? You fuck. He'll do the same thing right back at him.

Magic missile. Oh! Q Joe getting... I'm done rolling D20s for the night. Q Joe getting really angry. Yeah. Please roll damage. Here comes that one.

Okay. That is a one. Yeah. Please roll damage. Here comes that one. Okay. That is a one. So two points of damage. Zero points of damage for some reason. Okay. The magic missiles just boom, boom. You see them get sucked into a brooch on his chest. Oh, no.

Everything you touch turns to poop. Everything. You know what's nice is your kids are too young to know how much of a disappointment you are. But they're getting close. Your oldest is almost at that age where she can, like, tell her brother, oh, oh, brother,

it's only a matter of time before we're experiencing rainouts, misflights, and cancellations. Because our father is a black hole of luck. I love you, Joe. Get away from me. Touch my hand. Touch my hand. It's a free action.

It is Sheila's turn. I can just sit here and make funny about that. Sheila, what do you got? Things are not turn. I could just sit here and make fun of you all day. Sheila, what do you got? Things are not great. I hate... I feel like I'm spending everything that I have already. Yeah, I'm resting immediately, by the way.

Just to piss you off. Mid-combat. Mid-combat. I lay down and pull out a blanket. Free action! free action! I just... Also, I just saw Joe and Troy backstage, and I can confirm

that they can rest as a free action immediately in any circumstances. There was, like, music playing, people were rushing back and forth, and here's Joe and Troy. Hashtag dad life. Skip, what do you got? Alright, so I'm going to use Yet another one of my last

Bombs of the day Sheila is going to lean out from behind The corner You're going to cope one right up the Date me beauty Date apparently Means butthole according to the Spreadsheets

How lovely So he's going to throw. That is 11 touch AC. That is a miss. All right. Roll a D8. Two. Two.

Okay, so that goes behind him. All right. Roll a save. I think that might be a fail. Yeah, failed the save. So splash damage. Six points of damage. Oh, my God. I'm glad it wasn't a a fail. Yeah, failed to save, so it's splash damage. Six points of damage. My God.

I'm glad it wasn't a direct hit. Yeah. It is best friend's turn. Best friend, you have dispatched of these dire rats that crawled out of the anal fissure. I... What would you like to do? I can't be the reason why my friend's full. I must attack.

Charges up, but not actually charging. Just attacks. Ooh. I must attack. Charges up, but not actually charging. Just attacks. Ooh. 13 to hit. 13 to hit. Where are you? Oh, you got right up in its business. Yeah.

That's a miss, my friend. Oh. That is a big giant. Swift action. Blessing. Heal myself. One point of healing We gave us

Explicit instructions Several consecutive shows Not to do this I have a meeting at 9pm With the president What is this shot? The president of games What is this?

Fireball, it's fireball, I can smell it Oh yeah That smells delicious I have a family James! What is this? Fireball. It's fireball. I can smell it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That smells delicious. I have a family. We haven't done anything deserving of that shot yet, Grant. Put it down.

The mystery beer is a Three Floyds Pilsner. Oh, love me some Three Floyds. Yeah, that's going to be good. That's good. I went to a show and we all got drunk. Who was turn? Is it? What's happening?

Who's the president? Who just went? You just went, right? got drunk. Who was turn to sit? What's happening? Who's the president? You just went. Ronald Reagan. The actor? The actor? Who's the vice president? All right. Mrs. O'Lady.

Jane Wyman? Mrs. O'Lady is going to step up behind best friend. You're right over there. Making a list. And she is going to lob. I got to get a picture of this. Who's naughty and nice? Mrs. O'Lady is going to step up behind best friend.

I'm listening. I'll wait. Got it. Thank you. So she's going to step up behind best friend and lob a little stone over everyone's head. Oh, yes. What is this? And I meet...

You hit a specific square. It's AC5, right? Okay, yeah. Yeah, I get it. Okay, so a thunderstorm explodes ten feet behind. There we go! So this deafening bang sound is treated as a sonic attack.

So this deafening bang sound is treated as a sonic attack. What'd you roll total? A 11. 11? Okay. All right. And what happens? Everyone? No, anyone within a 10-foot radius, which is just you, my friend.

I hate you. So fortitude save. Fortitude save. Okay. Oh, Natty 18. Nothing happens. So, fortitude save. Fortitude save. Okay. Oh, Natty18. Nothing happens. Oh, great. You know what?

I earned this shot. Ha! Literally, we're using up every single consumable to fail. It's its turn. It sees best friend. Best friend, what kind of weapon you have out right now? Right now I have the plus one dagger. Plus one dagger, eh? Alright.

It is going to take a five foot step back. It's confused still, right? Oh, it is. It is confused. Thank you. Oh, the second round. Last round of confusion. I'll roll it right in front of you, Joe, here. Oh, that's not good. That's an 89.

Yes! Attacks nearest creature. What the fuck? That is fuck. Everything comes up Troy. Everything comes up Troy. Uh... I guess I'll just have to bite you, right?

Because if I cast a spell, it's going to provoke from... That's not... Yeah, I think you have to attack. That's for any... You can take a five-foot stab unless it's a touch spell. And if it's a touch spell, Fred doesn't provoke. Yeah, attack nearest creature doesn't say what tactics I have to use to attack the nearest creature. So I take a five-foot step back and I shoot...

Oh, actually, no. You were attacked anyway. So you automatically attack your attacker on your next turn. So, yeah, it doesn't change the outcome, it doesn't change anything. Okay. Five foot step back. Acid Ray misses you. Yeah. All right. All right. What a waste. All right.

This is a big round for you guys. I need you to pull through. Good thing we have Joe O'Brien up next. James is James. I don't know if it's channeling the player, but he is so angry in this room. He's alone in this room now, and he knows this rat's out here beating up his friends.

And he's just, like, pulling out a bolt to reload his crossbow, just talking to himself. This son of a bitch rat is going to take all my spells. When he dies, I'm going to go tell him precisely what happened to his fiancée, and I'm going to leave all the details in. And he reloads his crossbow and angrily steps out into the room like,

just like really, really pissed off. It's like the movie last night. It's like once upon a time. Yes, exactly, exactly. But that's his action, because he had to reload and move, so that's all he can do. You gave it your all, and I appreciate it. New round.

Sheila, this combat is not great. Man, all right. Okay, you know what I'm going to do? What is my... Okay, so Sheila is going to draw his sickle from his belt. Okay. And run down the hall. He's like, ah!

Like, shrieking madly, and run up and hack at this creature. Wow. Bold move, Sheila. 19 to hit. Yeah! AC 19. Max damage, six points of damage.

Sheila! We needed that. So you come up and crush it. Yeah. And he puts his hands up. No. This is alright. Who's next?

I'll tell you all his secrets. Skunk. I'll tell you all his secrets. Skunk. I'll tell you all his secrets, whatever you want. Whose secrets? The Shred Man. What? Shred Man? The Every All.

What? The Final Dream. But if you attack me, I will tell you nothing. No. And it is Best Friend's turn. dream. But if you attack me, I will tell you nothing! Darn! And it is Best Friend's turn. Best Friend has the plus one dagger behind his

ear, ready to throw, and then rolls a diplomacy check. If you tell us what you know very nicely, perhaps I won't throw this knife in between your eyes. And then rolls the check. Let's see.

Alright, that's good. 17. Diplomacy. Alright. If you promise not to throw that knife, I will tell you what I have heard. I have heard things. I have seen things as well.

My ears can eavesdrop from far away. I've heard conversations in the dark and reading through the books in the library. I've learned about this place perhaps learned more than you have. So you can read? Yes.

You mean not like your illiterate fiancé? How dare you, sir? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Did you not know that she was eviscerated? Her chest cavity broken open and her heart and soul ripped out and consumed? James, please, a word. What is he talking about?

I request that you not listen to him. He's a dumb rat. Yes. Not like you, who can cast spells. Yeah, he can't do that. Yes. He normally casts Silent Image every battle. Yes.

No, he's sort of like a parakeet or a minor bird. Those are the only words he knows. He just says them randomly at all times. They don't mean anything. Just throw a sheet over his head and he'll be no bother. What do you know of my fiancé? He'll go right to sleep. What do you know of my fiancé?

We met her and we promised to teach her to read because, well, to be honest with you, we murdered her parents, Marguerite and Frederick. Frederick and Marguerite? Yes. And we learned after we killed them that the next day was the day she was supposed to learn how to read. Are you saying you killed my future in-laws? No. Dear Frederick and beautiful Marguerite.

No, they were killed treacherously by the person you hate most in the world. Bill? William? Yeah, William. Who did this? He's Bill to his friends, but he has no friend of mine. Are you telling me William came up here? Yeah, William was up you take this? He's Bill to his friends, but he has no friend of mine. Are you telling me William came up here?

Yeah, William was up here and he was like, I'm going to kill your parents. And we were like, no, please don't. She's a friend of ours and we're going to teach her to read. And it did nothing to dissuade him at all. And he did it anyway. I can't believe Frederick and Margarita no more. We had spent...

We went to a lake house not but last week and spoke about the big day where they were going to teach beautiful Jenny, the fairest in all the land, to read. Look how Jenny and I talked. We would just buy a home together and sit and read as far as the day was long. But thank goodness

Jenny is still alive. To carry on Frederick and Margaret's name. Well, look on the bright side before you think about that. In-laws are the worst, am I right? No, they were safe. I have great in-laws. Allow me to continue, however.

What? There was a tiny murder clown that ran into your love. But I can tell you one thing. At least at this moment, he has more important engagements during Gen Con to be here. So you cannot engage in revenge against him. You can only heal With the four of us

I'm so sorry And he reaches out to hug him No please That is not a free action against me He's not a willing participant I am an unwilling target You are telling me that not only Frederick And not only Sweet Marguerite

Have passed Are you telling me? Sounds to me like you have an unhealthy fascination with your mother-in-law. Are you telling me that... You know... It's like Sweet, Sweet Marguerite. I looked at Marguerite and I saw what Jenny would one day be.

There are doctors in this hospital that can help you with that. Can you please allow me to grieve for a moment? You say that Frederick is dead. Please. What? Grieve. Grieve along with us, for we loved Jenny deeper than even you.

We loved her truly, purely, and often. What is, what is? By the way, what is that pile of blood and guts you're standing in? Those are cold cuts for your wedding reception.

We're in the midst of preparing them when William himself threw himself upon us, killed her parents and then hired the tiny murder clown to kill her in turn. Curse William. We hate him so much.

You know what? You know what? I believe you. There's something about the look in your eye that I just know you wouldn't lie about something like this. The story just doesn't seem convoluted at all. It's very simple. The details are just too specific.

Yeah, there's so much specificity. How could that not be true? Well, Jenny was headstrong. I knew she would get herself into trouble one of these days. All right, the wedding is off. Yes, it is. It's impossible. It's sad for us too because we wanted

to give you a gift. Well, you could still give me a gift. Oh. In my culture, that's very inappropriate. But I shall try to look at my character sheet and come up with something just right now. No, I have something.

Something very precious that we were saving for you. And he hands him a torch. A torch. May this light the way in the darkness that lies before you. And may its burning flame remind you ever more of the love that blazed

between the two of you in life. That was... That was beautiful. I will cherish this torch for all time. He puts it in his pocket. Oh, God, it's hot! Sorry. You have to put it out before you...

I don't know how to use these. I'll put it down. They had a very codependent relationship. Jenny didn't know how to read. He didn't know how to use fire. I didn't know how to use torches I'll put it down. They had a very codependent relationship. Jenny didn't know how to read. He didn't know how to use spiders. I didn't know how to use torches. Do I comb my hair with this? Oh, God!

All right, listen. Yes, my fiancé and future in-laws are dead, but we should talk about what is going on here. I have information. Okay. We have reached an accord. I will not attack you. You will not attack me.

Because I know secrets about the Shred Man, the Everall, the final dream. I will tell you. I will tell you what I know, what I have heard. But then you must let me go so that I may find a new mother-in-law.

That's his priority. Jane's just like, I knew it. I knew it. You seem the type. Just keep an eye out after we let you go for Eric Mona. He's a bastard. I shall. All right.

Is it a deal? Yes. We have an accord. Who is this? Who is this man you speak of? I do not know what you know. I do not know what you have heard here in your travels. This is not my home.

Perhaps when you spoke to Jenny, she told you that the warrens below this edifice collapsed and forced us to the surface. But in my time here, I have learned much. The Shred Man, the Every All, the Final Dream. Evidently, he's been on Briarstone for a very long, long time. They say he was once a servant of the

Briarstone Witch. Oh, man. That he's also a servant of the Great Old One. What? The one they call Hastur. Oh, wow.

And then he like leans in and whispers, puts the torch up to his cheek, and uses his hand instead. I've heard them say in the shadows that once the Shred Man has turned his malevolent eye on a victim, he hounds her to death.

Many of the patients who have passed away in their sleep were victims of this Tatter Man. Victims of this Tatterman. I can tell you that when we slept in certain places in the asylum, we felt attacked. Do you think that that could have any connection to the Tatterman? I don't want to meet the Tatterman. Please don't make me say hello to the Tatterman. Don't make me buy an ice cream from the Tatterman.

I don't want to buy an ice cream from the Tatterman. I don't want to buy an ice cream from the Tatterman. Do you hear me? It's okay. I'm so sorry. All of a sudden, in the distance, you hear... Let's say, hypothetically, that more than one of us has dreamed of a man with a tattered face. Yes.

What would that mean for us? That you are marked. That he knows you. And if you yet still live, he is waiting. Waiting for the right moment to take you down and sacrifice you in Hastur's name. Oh my god. Pass?

That's up to him. What if we were to defeat the Tachiman? Jesus Christ, I'm so scared. I know, I'm really... I'm so scared. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do I've heard whispers of those who have tried They've tried And failed You've seen the bodies here You are not safe when you are awake You are not safe when you sleep

The Tatterman chooses when to find his victims He will get you when he is ready Does he come physically to this plane? Does he only exist elsewhere? The plane of the mind? He walks within the plans Through them Through them

Over them Under them In them Nailed it Well, can he be Can he be Can he be I'm not saying anything now

I'm sorry If your people The people that lived under this place before the terrible thing happened, have been able to avoid the Tatar men, how do you evade his power? I stay up here. I learn what I can, and I sneak back into the fissures. Though our warrens are gone, we must carve out

new lands. I'm only using this place as a temporary home. Now that I know that Jenny is no more, and Frederick, and sweet, sweet Marguerite. Oh yeah.

Busted. I will. I will return below ground per our deal and carve out a new Warren. Will it? Are the Warrens, are they safe now that they've been sapped? I do not know.

One guy gets that. Yes, one person from Tampa Bay enjoyed that Warren Sapp joke. Do you know of a man... That wasn't a joke. It wasn't a joke. I really did want to know. It just happens to be a guy named Warren Sapp,

and I thought I'd do a twofer. Moving on. What do you know of a man named Alva Zandalus? Oh, Alva Zandalus. I've heard of him. I think he's in cahoots. Yes, yes, he's in cahoots with this Tatterman. Oh, yes.

They are best friends. Does the Tatterman recruit agents, as it were? People to work for him on this plane? Yes. Oh, yes, I've heard that as well. Yes. Can we do a sense motive on any of this? Yeah.

That's probably a good idea. Twenty. Five. Natural one. 25. Natural one. Mrs. Old Lady, you get the sense that he will say yes to whatever you ask him because he doesn't want to look stupid. But he's not lying about what he's heard.

It's just if he doesn't know the answer, he's embellishing because he wants to look smart. Can he actually read? Yes. We put a book in front of him. Read it! Let me get that torch and the book burns. Is that how you do it? You! Yes. You seem to be an uncommonly Is this how you do it? You.

Yes? You seem to be an uncommonly smart and intelligent creature. Thank you. I hear things. I'm smart. I'm not dumb like everyone says. I hope your first child would be a masculine child. It won't now because my fiancé is dead.

You are but young. I am old. Are you absolutely certain this sandalus is working for the tattered man? The most, they say, as a student myself, they say the mark of intelligence is to know what you know

and know what you do not. At that, he sort of stands back. I mean, that's what I heard. From whom? It's the whispers in the darkness. They may not all be true, but if it's the mark of intelligence to be precise, perhaps not. But you should still be wary.

This is Andalusian, and his followers, they are dangerous. And they roam about these halls, these very halls that you are in now. But listen, I must go. If William is nearby, I do not want to see him.

After he murdered my fiancé. I owe him money. I owe William five dollars. Not to mention his murder of my fiancé. It would just be awkward. And your true love. If I had to see him. In one day.

In one day You don't want to run into someone you owe money to Who also killed your fiancé No So I should, I'm gonna go And he goes Hold on No, what? He's hanging on to one of the words

We need to move this along The fissures through which these rats are pouring Yes Could you speak to them on our behalf? Could you tell them We need to move this along. The fissures through which these rats are pouring. Yes. Could you speak to them on our behalf? Could you tell them to give us safe passage to the north as we seek to fight this Zandalus and his followers? Is there any way you could tell them we are allies? Yes.

Yes, I can do this for you. If I give you the mark and you should run afoul of any other of our tribe, they will know that you are cool. So what is it? A tattoo or something? No. Are you ready? Yes. He just shits in his hand

and throws it. So many ways that could have him. So many ways that could have gone. So many ways. And you too, young man. You must... Could you put it on my feet? All right, good luck.

And he goes away. All right. Throws shit at everybody and runs away. Yes. I like how he was a rat caster that suddenly became a monkey. That's what he looked like.

There he is. Hey. Hey. Did we ever get his name? Did I miss that? Oh. Sorry. He popped back up.

Fog of War. My name was Ratch Mamby. Ratch Mandy. Ratch Mamby. How dare you? Ratch Mamby. Goodbye. I am no longer part of this adventure.

I know that spell. Well, now that we are marked, we are safe to pursue our call to the north. I actually could do with a bit of rest. I am utterly exhausted. I am horribly injured. I'm bleeding. Yeah, me too. I need the help of Winter

and her medics. So we go back and rest and return to the spot immediately. Immediately. We have no nightmares. But in that rest, this friend doesn't feel so good. By the way, I think you're doing... Oh, wait, this is a new one. This is a new one.

You did the last one wrong. I did. I didn't do this one wrong. Okay. Because the frequency is once per day. You wake up and you're feeling just a little shitty. Oh. You take three points of dex damage.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Are my other damages gone? That should be gone? Yes. We'll say you arrested away the other ones. Three points of dex damage and only two points of con damage. Holy shit.

And you know what? Roll another fortitude save. Eat dex, two con. Would you like a bottle cap, my friend? Ooh. Really, Joe? Might be a good time for that. Joe, that's so sweet.

I love you, buddy. Hey, man. These are important saves. Hug it out. Hug it out, guys. Show me that smile again. Show me that smile. Don't ask another... I fucked that up. So close.

I fucked that up. That would have been awesome. It's all about timing. Grant, roll two D20s. Take the best. Skid, could I grab one of your Norse Foundry GCP die? Oh, yeah. Blood of our enemies red. Still on sale. There's more available.

All right. So we have the Mayshun. Well, I won't spoil it. Just roll it. Okay. A natural 20 on the green and an 18 on the Norse Foundry. All right. That's one save towards the cure.

Okay. Not all the saves towards the cure. Fine. You, three points of dex damage, two points of con. You have one save towards a cure that needs two. What are you thinking about doing? You want to go back to right where you were? Look it, there you are.

Can winter help us with any healing? Yeah, they have channel positive in there. We can just boost it up. Winter's like, yes, normally I would, but I just don't feel like it. No, no, no, before you rest, before you rest, I have all of my cure lights and I have three more fervor.

Oh, okay, so we're good. You're good. You guys are fine. Imagine you're back to full with what best friend has and because you slept in the chapel you are not plagued by these living nightmares. Can I do a

knowledge check about the tatter man? Yeah, sure. Sing us a song, you're the tatter man. Sing us a song tonight. Alright. Alright. Sing us a song, you're the Tatterman. Sing us a song tonight. All right. All right. What knowledge would that be?

It's hard not to stop. Yeah. The Tatterman? Yeah. What would you roll? I'm asking what knowledge to roll. There's no, like, there's no occultism in first edition, so maybe a history, I would say even plain.

Arcana? Yeah, it'd be harder to see on Arcana. Acknowledge Tatterband. I'm talking to Matthew Grant. 21, no, I'm sorry, 22 history. Never heard of him. Wow. You can ask

about Hastur, though. I think Hastur, in real life, is like a Mesopotamian deity, like a real Mesopotamian deity that was worshipped back in the Sumerian or Babylonian period. I have an uncle that worships Hastur. Yeah. But it's like a ram god or something. It's really weird at family reunions.

Right? What knowledge on Hastur? Knowledge. Which one do you want to roll? History. All right. Or Arcana. Now, planes would be best.

I can do planes. Do planes. What is this on? Hastur. 23. 23. You just know of other names in which Hastur has gone by. The unspeakable one.

Oh, no. Him who is not to be named. Also known as Asatur, Zastur, Kaiwan, or the King in Yellow. Oh, no. No, no, no. He's got legit chills.

Yeah. It's so scary, dude. Yeah. God. He just worships the King in Yellow. I'm sure everything will be fine for the next six books. God. He just worships the king in yellow. I'm sure everything will be fine for the next six books. Okay.

You're back in this L-shaped hallway. You already went down this way. You found those creatures which were known as pickled punks, which was kind of fun. I love a good plosive. Then you found those two dead doctors that looked like maybe they had been smashed over the head.

You're not quite sure. You went into this dilapidated room with the fissures, fought the dire rats, and Ratch Mamby found out their whole situation. There are two doors, one to your left, one to your right, and another one up ahead. What are you doing? Chill, I'll leave it to you. I'm still taking a methodical tack. After all, I didn't come here to fuck spiders. This guy gets it.

This guy gets it. He gets it. He gets it. I don't get it. I was told by Nicole Ashley. God damn it. Someone in Seattle told me that that's a big Australian thing that they say. It's like, come here to fuck spiders,

and it means something. I don't know. So I'm going to open this door to the left. Open the door to the left. Show me fuck spiders. You open this door. It was Ashley. It was one of the dozens of Ashleys

that we have in our fan base. You see a door. I Um, you see a door. I mean, you see a room. It looks like a ruined lounge. The ceiling of this room has collapsed. Uh, it looks like this,

the collapse has crushed a table and a well worn couch. It kind of looks like a, like a teacher's lounge or a doctor's lounge in this case. Um, maybe the doctors would use this to take a break from their research, relax for a bit, but the ceiling has destroyed most of the furnishings in here.

You don't see any creatures. I'm going to do a quick perception check, just searching the room. Eleven. Eleven, yeah. You don't really see anything. All right. Open the door to the right. Open the door to the right, and let's show them what they win.

Another room. No! We are plagued by desks. Everywhere. They've taken over this place. What is this, an office depot? I know, it looks like a law office. It's just like a big conference room and a bunch of smaller offices with desks.

I know, I know, totally. It's like a startup. The poor summer associates have offices with desks. I know. I know, totally. It's like a startup. The poor summer associates have to share this office. I know. That's the interns. This would look like a typical physician's office if it weren't for the preponderance of grotesque anatomical sketches scattered about the room,

mostly depicting human and brain deformities. Can I ask a question? No. I'm going to ask it anyway. Okay. You seem to make some extra mention of the horn-like tumor we saw back... Can I roll some sort of check on that

to see if I recognize it? Let me give you a little more flavor and then see if you want to ask a deeper question. All right. Because in this room, there is a display case with a couple of those jars with fluid in them that look like they have been broken. And a bunch of empty spots where those things once were. Are they labeled? Yeah. of empty spots where those things once were. So... Are they labeled?

Yeah. What do the labels say? Really gross stuff in Latin. It's my worst language to read gross stuff in. Yes. Can I do a check to see what these are and maybe why that particular one might have been attracted to the punks?

Yes. Yeah. And everybody roll a perception check, too. Nine. Nine. 19 perception. There it is. And what other checks should I roll?

Knowledge. Knowledge. Knowledge. Dungeoneering, arcana, history, planes. History. Go with history. 21. 21. All right.

So you're looking at this and you just think, okay, maybe this doctor was really focused on figuring out how physical ailments were connected to mental ailments. Because everything seems to be having to do with the brain, the head, the spinal cord's connection to the brain and whatnot. So whoever's office this was, it looks like it was one doctor. This was his or her focus. As you're doing the perception, you see that there's this gross slime trail leading from the display case out the door. And if you take a peek around, you see that that slime trail leads all the way back into the room where you fought the pickled punks. So the only connection you can make with your vast intelligence

as an old lady... Mrs. As a Mrs. Old Lady. Thank you. Is that these fetuses with hydrocephalus came to life somehow. Obviously, a lot of strange things have been happening here.

Maybe whatever has brought all these other creatures in, they came to life and they started trying to free their friends. And they brought them over to that closet to build a society. And that little tumor that was thrown at Skid on a different shelf, maybe it was ostracized from their weird little society. This is so fucked up. Awful. This is literally so fucked up. Gross.

Gross indeed. All right. That's all. I mean, you're deducing this now that you fought the pickled punks and you see the slime drill. It goes back and forth like one at a time. They were taking their family back. Maybe the doctor that did the studying is that desiccated body in the closet.

I'll teach you for studying us. Oh, my God. Doctor. Well, I'd like to leave here And move on The high fives No no I would like to move on To this northern room

Which I feel like we're only seeing a portion of right now Well what's funny is as you get closer To that northern room You see a placard outside the door That says northern room, you see a placard outside the door that says Dr. Eliage Losandro. Oh, no. That's who Administrator.

That's who Winter came to talk to. That is who Winter spoke with. She seemed like a capable administrator. Flashback. But I did not get to speak with her long. Eliash. That guy liked it. That's a good flashback.

This is the administrator's room. Can I do a perception at the door? Mm-hmm. 20. 20. Nothing. Check for traps? Yeah.

16. Nothing. All yours. No traps. Not at all. As far as you know. Mrs. Old Lady, we have to open this door. I'll be the one to open it.

I've taken the slings and arrows of our enemies before. Please. And then open the door. James is going to cast Mage Armor before he opens the door. Yeah, I'm going to cast Shield also. Oh, I can bless everyone. Oh, that'd be good. Yeah, I'm going to cast shield also. Oh, I can bless everyone. Oh, that'd be good. Yeah, I have that wand, so three

charges of bless go off, too. Yeah, it's just one charge. All right. So, boom. That lasts, what, one minute? Yes. All right, so everybody gets, what, a plus one to hit. Open that door quick. And you open. And that lasts, what, one minute? Yes. All right, so everybody gets, what, a plus one to... Hit. Hit.

Okay. Open that door quick. Open that door quick, and you open. Who opens the door? Best friend. Okay. Oh, boy, what a room you're about to see. Oh, boy.

More desks! Oh, what is that? What is that? What the fuck is that thing? Oh, God. Don't worry about it. Wow. Oh, no. Wow, wow, wow. What the fuck is that thing? Oh god Don't worry about it Wow Oh no Yellow fog soundlessly roils

No! No fucking way Against the cathedral like windows Of this opulent Two story office Oh god The ground floor, the one in which you're on Features overstuffed

furnishings, elegant side tables, and an altar-like desk of dark marble. No, not the desk! No, not marble! You see a delicate spiral staircase and balcony of dark iron rising

up to a lofty library overhead. Both floors' fixtures frame the lake of blood spread across the floor's center. Oh my god. No. This office, if it was, obviously,

the office of administrator Eliage Lissandro combines the features of a psycho psychologist's office, a psycho's of a psycho psychologist's office a psychologist's office and a queen's lounge. Everything is very overly opulent. You'd think whatever benefactors

the asylum had, no expense was spared furnishing the administrator's room. It's the devil wears Prada. Alright, I got some language. All the made Manhattan fans really like that one Thank you. All the Made in Manhattan fans really like that one. While the furnishings and books

in the administrator's personal library appear to be impressive, at first glance, there doesn't appear to be anything especially remarkable here, except for the pool of blood in the center of the room. But rising up from that pool of blood

This is horrifying. is a murky, multicolored, mostly yellow fog. And as you're standing there, best friend, at the door, and you see that fog kind of moving about, it appears that there's a figure possibly kneeling on the ground in the middle of the pool of the blood, surrounded by fog. Who are you? Are you an adherent to

Zastor? Are you a worshipper of the king in yellow? If so, well, we will entreat with you if our conversations lead to nothing.

We are prepared to battle you. So answer me now. Do you want to speak or do you want to battle? What an intimidating war cry. I'm scared, God damn it. The fog just keeps moving and you see

eventually what looks like a face of this person or creature and doesn't even appear to look at you. No response. Please, let me approach this creature. I've been lifted up by the power of Sheila's firebombs. I've been lifted up by the knowledge of James's... Whatever James does. He's a filthy rat. I don't care about him.

And Mrs. O'Lady's kind countenance and That's all I have? A kind countenance? No, no, no. You also throw... That's better than what James had. That's true. You also throw books of Scientology against our foes.

You want to go up to it. I'm going to go right. Does anyone else want to move into the room Or Give back up to best friend here Sheila will move into the room And stay about ten feet behind Best friend I will walk into the room behind Sheila

And just keep walking in This is a lady who will also walk into the room Will also walk into the room Best friend You walk up to Best friend, you walk up to it, and as you walk up, you have to like pierce through this

pea soup fog to get right up next to this person. And you do see it is a person that is kneeling on the ground. It looks like this. Oh! It's in fog of war. Its mouth just that is kneeling on the ground. It looks like this. It's in fog of war.

Its mouth just... Come on, man. Move it a little bit. Its mouth. Can you see that? Yeah, that's perfect. Its mouth just opened like... Awful. With this endless multicolored fog coming out of it.

Oh, man. I need you to roll a will save, Grant. Oh, my God. Okay. Here we go. Come on, dude. Natural two. So an eight, Ray? Ray?

Ray? I just thought of the most innocent thing I could. Something from my past. What did you do, Ray? What's the total? Eight. So you see best friend walk through the fog, and just as it looks like he's getting lost in it,

you just see him collapse to the floor. Oh, God, no. And as he collapses to the floor, if this was a movie, everything would go black. And you would just hear clang, clang, clang.

And then slowly the lights would come up on a young best friend, uncovering his ears as a visiting lord plunges a now flattened and shaped iron ingot into the rainwater barrel adjacent to the forge's great black anvil. He looks at best friend. That's how malleable iron becomes if the forge is hot enough. With the right tools, we may harness the power of the forge to impose our will. You, young best friend, shiver at the visiting lord's words tentative gray eyes dart up from

a malnourished skull your hair best friend looks like it's falling out in clumps and your eyes can't quite make contact with the yellow pool sunken deep in the skull of the visiting Lord. He continues, he says, I suppose you mustn't know the slightest about imposing your will, though, regrettable for you. But there is good news. The Lady of Graves has spoken to me, and I am to impart unto you an indelible gift.

Embrace it. Just then, the visiting lord slams his greaves into the back of your skull with vicious ferocity. You squeal in pain, sobbing as tears intermingle with flesh, fresh blood from your now fractured skull. Simultaneously, the visiting lord places his boot upon the small of your back and pulls a brand from the forge.

I'll never forget this boy. Neither will you, should the mother of soul see fit to send you back. Flesh crackles audibly like so much bacon

upon a skillet as a wicked spiral-shaped bran plunges into young best friend's upper back, in between his bony shoulders, and his vision fades to gray. Roll for initiative.

Oh, yeah! Nice! Roll for initiative! We're having fun. You guys having fun? Wait, I think... Oh! Wait, what? Fireball!

Flashback Fireball! World Reflex save for half damage! You earned it. Let's see what everybody got here. Sheila. Eight. Eight. Best friend.

Zero. Zero. That'll be a one, but you are asleep. Mrs. O'Lady. Eleven. Eleven for Mrs. O. This guy's dead. James. Ten. Mrs. O'Lady. 11. 11 for Mrs. O. This guy's dead. James?

10. 10. As it were. Round one. Mrs. O'Lady, you see best friend steps into that fog and just collapses and hits the floor. It's my turn?

Yes. No, I'm just talking to you like we're old friends. As if. It's just bad enough, you will. We all rolled talking to you like we're old friends. As if. It's just silly, Matthew. We all rolled that badly? I was still recovering from the fireball. Garbage. All right.

Can I do a knowledge check on the figure in the blood and fog? Sure, sure. Let's see what is going on. It's tough to see, man. It's going to be a really tough check. You know that you can't... Every time you think you have it in your sights, the fog roils against it.

You've got to get up there. Let me refine. I want to know what happened to best friend. Okay. Perception check. Perception. 20. 20.

You saw best friend walk in. You didn't see him take any physical action. You didn't see the creature in the fog take any physical action. You saw him walk in and collapse. Okay. I'm going to hold my breath. Okay. Cover my mouth with a rag and walk up to best friend and rouse him.

Okay. Wake up! What are you doing sleeping at a time like this? Roll a will save. 19. sleeping at a time like this? Roll a will save. Oh. 19. You fall asleep too.

No. All right, so you... Oh, you step right up behind him there. I mean, I have to touch him to arouse him? And you shake him. Shut up. Yeah. Try to arouse him. And you shake him. Shut up. Yeah. Try to arouse my friend.

Leave me alone. He just said, Rouse, not arouse. Must. It is a free action, yeah. Must. That's right, it's a love track. The sun's still out.

Must not make other jokes in my head. Find a toy. Your son may watch these videos someday. He never will. It's so hard. You won't care. Oh, no. That makes it hard to.

All right, sorry. I can't help it. All right, he wakes up. Wow. Wow, all right. He wakes up. Wow. Wow. All right. You wake up, but you feel awful. Prone?

Prone. No, he lifts you off the ground. You were sleeping standing up. There are plenty of spells in this game that put people... Yeah, no, you collapse to the ground. That's your... That's my turn. Yes, that's your standard action.

We'll say, James, you're up. Okay. Are you suggesting that there's a chance I could get a better knowledge check if I was closer? Like if I step up next to it, it's a better If you step up next to it If you're right next to it, you'll be able to see it You'll have a better range of vision To be able to try and figure out what's happening

Is it partially concealed right now? Oh, yeah, yeah Because of the fog, okay When you're far, you know, in terms of Pathfinder terms It's 50% missed chance if you partially concealed right now? Oh, yeah. Because of the fog? Okay. In terms of Pathfinder terms, it's 50% mischance if you're trying to attack it. Oh, it's... 20% if you're up close. So if you get in that 20% range right next to it, James,

then you could maybe not have to roll against such a high DC. Okay. He's fascinated by this. This creature seems like a key to unlocking something and hitting it with a crossbow. Well, it's not going to do anything. So I wonder if... Could you look at that list for me by this. This creature seems like a key to unlocking something and hitting it with a crossbow. It's not going to do anything. I wonder if... Could you look at that list for me and tell me

if this creature is any of those things? Can you bring that list back up? Basically, the bonded object that's around his neck is specifically to identify creatures of the Elder Mythos. It gives him bonus to knowledge checks and defenses against them and stuff like that, But it's very specific

creatures. I have no idea what this is. We talked about this at Character Creation. I was like, alright. Oh, yeah, that's in there. Oh, yeah, you're going to see that one for sure. Is it any of those things? The Glass Cannon Live. The only live podcast where you can watch people read lists. No. Okay.

All right. He is going to step up. Fuck it. He's going to step up and try to identify this thing. First, I need you to roll a will save. Okay. Fail. Hold on. Identifying is a free action. Could that happen before the will save? No. Damn. You're not trying to hug it. It's time to open the box.

This is from my buddy Jack from GCP Nation who gave me this. It just is a brown bag that says open when you absolutely need a bit of luck. Whoa. You do right now. So I think this is a good enough time for that. Oh my god. This is gorgeous. It's a beautiful die roller and a

fucking flask, dude. Whoa. Yeah. Oh, my God. The flask has beautiful art on it. It says, the blubbering humdingers. Potions for magic persons. Get lucky tonight. Is it empty or is it full?

Oh, it's full of booze. Oh, wow. Take a sip and roll a will soon. I'm going to take a sip and roll 2D20 since I have a bit of luck. But you don't get a bit of luck

from a... Woo! Wilson! I can't help but notice this is a Felix Felicis potion from the Harry Potter universe and your dice roller is marked with the symbol

of the Deathly Hallows. Oh, wow. You're a wizard,inary. Here we go. Let's get that. We'll save James. 15? It's a tweener. It's a tweener.

You're alright. Yeah! Jack! Jack! It's a lot more fun if he fails. All right, so you're up there. Roll your knowledge check. Planes?

Yeah, planes would be best. Okay, come on, James. Let's get this again. Jack! Yeah, buddy! All right, here we go. Knowledge planes. Fart. You didn't take we go. Knowledge planes. Fart.

He didn't take a shot before that one. Yeah, 14 on knowledge planes. Okay, that's enough to let you know one piece of information. This is a creature known as, I mean, I say creature, and that's not really the right word. Entity? Entity? Entity is closer.

This looks like it was a normal functioning human being, but something happened to it. And the something that happened to it transformed it, at least for the moment, into something known as an Onerogen. normally a creature that is like a gateway between this world and another. The gatekeeper. The fog coming out of its mouth seems to be

have something to do with the connection between the two worlds, but there's something about this one that's a little off. Like maybe it's malfunctioning. I just looked up the word onerogen. Not in Pathfinder terms.

Okay. And it comes from the Greek root dream and to create. Oh. Wow. That's what happens when you wake up at 5.30 to write plays. Googling. I do it often. What do you want to do, Joe? That's what happens when you wake up at 5.30 to write plays. Googling. Googling.

I do it often. What do you want to do, Joe? What are you thinking about? Talk to me. I don't know. He's just going to, I mean, again, he's transfixed by this thing. It's a gateway to another plane. He would love this.

Do you share this information? Oh, yeah, yeah. He says it. It could be a gateway Probably somewhere horribly awful But it seems like something's off with this one I don't know if it would be safe I would certainly love to get away from all these desks

Looking around Should I take this portal? And God I don't know You're right up next to it dude He's gonna reach out and Wait did you touch it or did you just walk up to it? And, uh, God. Um, I don't know. You're right up next to it, dude. He's going to reach out and touch it. Wait, did you touch it or did you just walk up to it?

He just walked up and immediately collapsed. He's going to touch it. He's going to touch it and see if there's any effect. Oh, boy. You just touch it. And in that moment... It's okay, it's me, James. It's like, uh...

It's just me and Jimmy. We James. It's like, uh... It's just me and Jimmy. We're cool with the rats. Show him my tat. You just touch it, and you're like... Your head goes back, and for a moment, the rest of you in the room just see, like, mist sputtering out of James' mouth.

Like it's traveling through this onerogen, through James, but it's like... And in that moment, James, you find yourself... Thank you. ...strangely, yet again... Oh, God. Oh, dear. Oh, my God.

The sun's still out. That's more Fireball. Must act. You find yourself strangely in another library. This time it's this like huge open space that defies logic in many ways. Think like Grand Central Terminal, but instead of just that

wide open space with the big board, just endlessly high shelves full of books and tall gothic windows letting in random shafts of colored light. Question. Come on, guys.

Are there angry Long Island commuters there? Roll a perception check. It's not your dream. Above you, James, you see a round tower extending from the center of this chamber, and it just keeps winding up as far as you can make out. You can't even see the top. Each level looks like it's packed With column after column of books

Packed tightly together And you're just alone in this cavernous place But as you're looking up at this tower Somewhere far up above You see a glowing light Surrounding a small section of these archives Perhaps there's a sconce there or maybe someone

roaming the stacks with a candlelight. You're not 100% sure. Or a torch! Or a torch. It looks like the only way to get up, though, is it's not like there's that staircase, but to get up there, it's this series of perilous ladders that climb the side of the tower.

But you do it. You start ascending. After taking a few steps, you look down. It looks like a mile to the floor. And so you're really like clutching to the ladder as you climb up, up, up. You tell yourself, don't look down, don't look down, don't look down. Finally, you get up there. And just as you do The glow fades

And you see now That it was surrounding A single book You walk up to the book The spine looks worn Looks like it's falling apart And then in plain yellow letters Block letters on red fabric

It's printed The life and death of Atticus Grimm And then in plain yellow letters, block letters on red fabric, it's printed, The Life and Death of Atticus Grimm by James Netherford. And when you see the name James Netherford, it strikes you to the core. Just as that name seems to call to you from beyond your obscured memory, and it hits you that this must be you. You are James Netherford, but what were you? A scholar? A researcher? A biographer?

This is what's going through your head. You go to draw the book from the shelf, and you get the sense that it hasn't been touched in centuries then you stop for a moment as you have the distinct feeling that you're being watched you turn around and two levels above you you see shadows start to form of a

creature that is clearly not human and then the shadows turn into a visceral creature. The lower part of its body has no discernible legs as this blocky mass just sits square on the ground. Its torso sprouts many arms that appear folded in front of it

while a perfectly round head is perched atop its slowly swaying neck. The length of an arm. Are you trying to kill us? God, so many shots So this weird head On like a stalk Is like swaying back and forth looking at you,

and the creature says something menacing to you in an unknown alien tongue. Do you have a drop like that? I do, yeah, somewhere. The drop is called skid. What? You speak languages that don't exist very well. That's true, yeah. Listen to Ruins of Aslan.

Raiders of the Lost Continent. Yeah. Do you have it? I don't see it right now, but... Well, it doesn't matter, because you hear that voice, that... This alien language, and the book... Oh, there was it.

The book flies from your hands towards the creature. Oh, there was it. The book flies from your hands towards the creature. Oh, come on. And then you're just like... And you're back in this room with this woman that you just touched. What do you do? Oh, and nothing else... Nothing else happened. Oh, well, that would be the end of my action. You're reaching out and

touching someone. That's a standard action. So that'll end my turn. Bottle cap! I'd like to'll end my turn. Bottle cap. Bottle cap. I'd like to voluntarily end my turn. Bottle cap. Bottle cap. The problem was... Bottle cap.

You didn't... Bottle cap. You didn't do it lovingly. If you did it lovingly, you'd have been fine. Yeah, yeah. That is true. I was like, I hate you. You're standing right there and this creature just

with the mist coming out. But otherwise unaffected. I mean, this creature seems to me to be the key to some very important knowledge. Right, but unfortunately, you spent your turn. I got it. Get out of here.

Don't touch me. I've been waiting for that for about an hour and 15 minutes. Anybody from Indianapolis? It added a sense of unease to the proceedings. Yeah. This creature that you touch, after you lift your hand away from it and come back into the present realm,

as it's standing there with its mouth wide open, its arms just come up absentmindedly and just go and slam at two of you. Oh, come on, man. Who's right next to it? Oh, that's going to be Mrs. O'Lady. No, excuse me, James and best friend. You watch your mouth

when you're talking to me. But when I touch it, it was corporeal. It was definitely corporeal. A 12 against James misses, yeah? Yes. And then a 13 against best friend misses. So it's just like... It's minus four

against best friend. Because he's prone, right? Oh. Best friend, 13. Minus 40 or AC. Exactly. Hey, Joe. Thanks for bringing that up or AC. Exactly. Hey, Joe. Thanks for bringing that up.

Thanks a lot, Joe. Hey, Joe. Good job, Joe. I love you guys. Joe sucks. Don't stress. It was only four points of damage. You're fine.

Uh, that's what this creature does. It is Sheila's turn. Sheila, you, you see things now happening. When Mrs. A lady came up, she saw a best friend collapsed to the ground. James walks in there. You didn you see things now happening. When Mrs. O'Lady came up, she saw Best Friend collapse to the ground. James walks in there. You didn't see anything, but now you hear like, ah!

So I see them unconscious, but like crying out as if in a dream. They're asleep. Wow. Alright, so... I made my 20% mischance, by the way. Okay, so he's going to... Alright, Best Friend is over there. Okay Okay so he's going to run up to Mrs. O'Lady

And try to arouse her I'm awake Wait I never fell asleep Arouse her Okay alright I succeeded at my will save Okay so wait who's asleep Nobody So would a Spellcraft knowledge arc I succeeded at my will save. Okay, so... Wait, who's asleep? Nobody.

Nobody, okay. So, would a spellcraft knowledge arcana or knowledge nature check reveal anything? You gotta get right up next to it. I do. I get right up next to it. Go ahead and roll a will save. All right. Three.

Sheila falls down. And Sheila, all of a sudden, your eyes open, and you see a wooden spoon in your hand. And you look around, and you're in an empty room. Very small room, and you feel compelled to take that spoon and just start scraping at a little place near the,

where the floor meets the wall. You're scraping, scraping, scraping. And then you start scraping away at saltpeter that you find stuck to the walls down the bottom. You're just scraping away. And now that you're in your body, you're scraping away as quietly as you can manage, looking over your shoulder. You don't know why, but you feel like someone might be watching you or might find you at any minute. So you're scraping, scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape. You then take all the scrapings

and you grind them together with some unseen substance using this spoon and like a, looks like a prisoner's bowl. It's like a crude mortar and pestle. Pestle. Then you tear a square of rough fabric

from the rags, draping your gaunt body and carefully dollop the strange compound into it. You then twist it closed and just wait. And you don't know what you're waiting for, but time passes. And then eventually you see flickering lights and shadows on the walls up ahead of your cell. You're in a jail cell. And then the cell door opens. And a guard enters.

A bucket of gruel in one hand. And a guttering torch in the other. Perhaps the very torch. You gave to Ratch Mamby. He says, fading time, Ratch. He says, fading time, wretch. Seizing the moment, you toss the bag directly at the flaming torch. It explodes.

Yes! And the guard screams, as he catches fire. You then edge along the wall of the cell, careful to avoid the dying spasms of the burning guard. And like an animal, you dart out the open door and into the darkness of the catacombs beyond. Oh, badass. Sorry. It's really good. Sheila is

collapsed on the ground at his best friend's turn. Best friend, you have been woken up by Mrs. O'Lady, but you are prone and just took a wallop from whatever this creature is. My friends have all tried so hard to be alive in this place. I can't let you take them.

I can't let those yellow eyes take what was mine again. And he swings out to attack. Natural two. Damn it, Grant. It's cool. It's really bad, Grant. There went the kamikaze. Let's

everybody do our kamikaze shots, by the way. Oh, dear. It's been nice to know you all. The train has left the station station I have a meeting at nine Mrs. O'Lady you're up Hang on That was at the least a double shot

It was delicious Mrs. O what do you got Uh okay We don't get out a lot No I'm a little impaired Hang in there man Mrs. O'Lady has seen We don't get out a lot. No. I'm a little impaired. Hang in there, man. Mrs. O'Lady is seen.

Matthew, you're so good. Please note that Joe tried to arouse Matthew, which is a free action. Mrs. O'Lady, what do you want to do? Mrs. O'Lady has seen what perhaps she identifies as the oracular visions of people touching creatures they shouldn't touch. And will take a step, a five-foot step, you might say, this way.

Okay. And she shall reach out To grab the creature And try to rouse the creature From its incapacitation Okay Incapacity? Incapacitation? You shake it

Incapacilicity You try to Reverie We could use the word reverie Yes Sure Shake it from her reverie It does nothing

Mrs. Old Lady It does nothing Nothing at. Old Lady It does nothing Nothing at all? Nothing James, you're up It's like we're nothing at all Nothing at all Nothing at all

Stupid sexy Flanders I'm sure it can be killed We must break this connection There's no safe passage here He's going to take a five-foot step. When I shook the person, what happened? Did they just react? No, it was just like...

Sorry, I was wearing my sunglasses. I didn't see that coming. Yeah, yeah, they're grand-stemming. I think I just peed my pants. A second ago, it was like... Just mindlessly smashing at them, but you shook it. I think I just peed my pants. A second ago, it was like, just mindlessly smashing at them, but you shook it.

It was just like, like Weekend at Bernie's. Keep your distance if you can. James, you're up. He's going to fire off a magic missile on the creature and see if it does anything. We are trying to, I guess it's not helpless,

it didn't attack us, but mostly it seems like not within its right mind. Are we just going to kill this thing? Well, we tried talking to it. It's a conduit. It tried talking, it was unresponsive. We tried touching it, it gave us visions, but had no...

And I got in my ID check that it was a gateway, but it's broken. Something's wrong with it. It's not operating properly. Just like 12 hours ago, I tried, you were broken and unresponsive. I tried to shake you and you didn't do anything. I didn't try to kill you. Well,

maybe you should have, Matthew. The show would have been a lot better if you did. All right. I'm rolling damage. Okay. So three. Three points of force damage. Best roll of the night for old Joe O'Brien.

Fired up about force damage. You hit it with the force. And it just crumbles to the ground. Oh. Oh. What? Joe, you're a genius. Or an idiot.

Or a monster. Or... It crumbles to the ground, and you know that, you know, if it was going to act again, it would have done so right now. You are out of combat. It is just slumped over.

What? And not breathing. Can I do... Now that I'm up close, can I do some sort of knowledge check? I'm going to take this shot. Yeah, the fog. Fireball, baby. Tell my wife I love her.

Tell my wife I'm married. I'm flattered, but I'm married. Sorry, honey, I'm married. Just FYI. I'm marriedattered But I'm married Sorry Sorry honey I'm married Just FYI I'm married to you I'm married Honey

We have a child Alright So the mist dissipates After James murders This poor creature It's just sitting there And the thing is It's still on its knees

It's just like Oh come on Come on Come on A long long time ago knees, it's just like... Oh, come on with this. Come on. A long, long time ago, I can still remember. That music plays, and the camera goes, make me smile.

What did the camera do? It just went like, oh, come on. Take your glasses off. Take it. Yes. We're going long. Oh! We're going long. Oh. We're going long.

We have to. We have to. We're going long. We're going long. So gird your lawns, because we're going long. We're going long. We're going long.

So gird your lawns, because we're going long. Yeah, Nick lawns, because we're going long. Yeah, Nick! To our boy Nick Lowe. Guys, you only do a live show in Indy twice this week, as the old saying goes. So let's go a little, not unlike Grant,

a little long. It's a compliment, man. Just a little. Just a little. Just, yeah. What do you want to compliment, man. Just a little. What do you want to do, Mrs. Old Lady? Can I roll a knowledge check on this creature? What knowledge was it? I forgot. Planes, man.

I'm drunk. Yeah, for the record, we have to get off the stage soon. I know, I know. But if I'm going long, I mean a couple minutes long. I roll a natural 19. Plus I threw an inspiration. Okay. So that is going to be... What, you don't even care?

You don't even care about my rolls anymore? No, I said okay. Oh, okay. You guys need a couple's counseling. 31. All right, 31. Within this obscuring mist that cloaks this onerogen lies denser eddies of planar potentiality.

The fog itself was charged with extra planar energies that manifest in a variety of ways depending on the plane to which the Onerogen was linked. Blinked. This creature, perhaps Dr. Elias Lossandro, the administrator of this place, seemed like a test subject that failed. Failed who? The Tatterman? Failed the person that tried to use her as a vessel to connect between plans. Must be an attached man. This is her lady.

No, it's Sandalus trying to make contact. Sandalus, he is. Trying to connect. Praise, praise, praise love! Oh, shoot! There's a praise log sign in the front row. I just want to say that for the record. It's beautiful.

Hold it up backwards for the video Turn it around E-SERP Goal I thought you wanted to say it backwards E-SERP Goal Sometimes my arms bend back Oh god don't even.

The gum you used to chew is coming back in style. Yeah, this is the... I don't know the reference, and I refuse to be frightened. What do you want to do? Whatever this creature was, it looks like now that it's collapsed, there are still scars on its face from whatever happened. This mist that was coming out of it has scarred its outer appearance.

It's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's gone. She's gone. I mean, we're in our grand office. Maybe we should search the office? You search the office.

Yeah, I want to search the office. Yeah, search the office. You search the office. Yeah, I want to search the office. Search the office. Do it. Let's just take 20. I'll take 20. You want to spend some time in here. It doesn't appear to be any other threat. Two of you are downstairs. Two of you say, I'm going to go upstairs. You climb that spiral staircase. You start looking around.

As you're looking around, you start to find some interesting things. a little more information but you also find out as you're looking that basically you gain the knowledge that all the files about everyone here in the asylum appear to be but a room away from where you are. Yes, the administrator's back room. So, just reading journal, I mean, you're spending a while here,

I'm assuming, like trying to really dig deep. Oh, yeah. You find some very interesting things. I sniff the velvet curtains. You find her journal, and you're like, you really want to dig into her journal,

but you see something in there that leads you to believe that you're about a room away from the House of Records. We go to that room. There's a door behind us to the south. Is that what we suspect it would be? I refuse to look at the map. We go to that room. I mean, there's only one door. We go to that room. I mean, there's only one door.

We go to that room, Joe. It's a hallway. You open that door. Damn the torpedoes. You see a hallway. You see a hallway. Yes. I think now would be a good time to rest.

All right. I'm so drunk. I know. I want to keep Matthew on stage as long as possible I know With his sunglasses and everything You're in this room You're in her study And you're looking at her records

And it gives you a very clear picture of how the asylum is set up Now obviously a lot has changed Due to the tremors, due to the infestation of the Dreamlands, due to the patient uprising. But you realize, like, there might be information on you, not but a room away. So we go quickly. You open the hallway door, and and you see another long hallway full of five more doors. Oh, great. One, two, three, four, five.

We're about a room away. But it appears that this door here to the south, that first door is the records room. Open it. Open it. James opens the door.

Do it. You open the room to the records room. He stumbles in, drunk. Drunk and smelling of cinnamon whiskey. He burps and starts sifting through the files. All right, what happened to us? What do you guys know about records?

I'll tell you what happened. What do you guys know about records? Tell us about your records. I'll tell you what happened. I just want to know. This happened. And then this happened. Matthew.

All the while this was happening. You opened This happened. And then this happened. All the while this was happening. You open the door and you see the handles of dozens of drawers frown from the faces of numerous matching cabinets. This is the records room. Everything you read in Administrator Elias Lassandro's study led you to believe this would be where you would find out that information. It looks like someone has ransacked the room. Many of the drawers are open, and their contents, volumes worth of stray parchments just blanket the floor. I'm assuming you start digging through these.

You start looking through the papers. Take 20. Take 20. Take 40. You start looking through the papers. Take 20. Take 20. Take 40. You start looking through the papers. Yeah, we'll take 40. That's good. It appears that they can contain the personal histories and treatment records of

all of Briarstone's patients. Everything is out of order though because the room's been ransacked. It would take hours to go through it but you have the time. We take hours. We have the skills. We have the technology.

To research. I will research the shit out of this place. We must rebuild this live show. I will attack this library. About three hours into your research, everybody roll a d20. Highest one discovers this for flavor. Four. Fifteen. Damn it. Everybody roll a d20 Highest one discovers this for flavor Four

Fifteen Damn it Skid, what did I get? Natural 20 Yeah! Ridiculous He's dripping Alright, Brett's dripping

Alright, alright He's tripping. All right, Brett's tripping. All right, all right. Best friend, you're looking... No, no, no. Sit down, sit down. All right, all right. Lost a couple pounds. He's going to get naked now. You'll never get that shirt over that head.

Seriously, it's put on in two pieces We have to help him before the show We have to stitch that shirt over that head every night Whatever shirt he's wearing You don't want to know what we prepare for How we do to prepare for these shows Oh your sunglasses buddy Did you know they broke? Oh no it's okay it's fine

Hey my name's Grant I just want to do a striptease for you Is they broke? Oh, no. It's okay. It's fine. Hey, my name's Grant. I just want to do a striptease for you. Is that okay? I've been waiting outside to stop and shop for a while. You know, we're so out of control. I just looked at this guy, and your shirt is the color of your skin. I thought you were just shirtless. Like you were tailgating this. Like this is a Florida-Georgia game

down in Jacksonville. All right. All right. All right, Grant, we have to get out of here. Please, please. Everybody shut up. Everybody stop. Wait, wait, shut your mouth.

Shut, shut up. Everybody shut up. You roll the natural 20. Yes. You find out this information. Shut up. Everybody shut up. You roll the natural 20. You find out this information. Hold on. Let me just move the urine from my pants to my other leg. There she is. Oh, God. All right.

I'm soaked. I'm soaked. Please. For the love of God, hurry. Please. For the love of God, hurry. Please. Three hours into the reading, you guys are pouring through these books trying to figure out what is going on here.

Eric Mono would have peed ten times by now. It's true. You're pouring through these. I love you, Eric. And best friend finds something. It's like, oh, I found something that's very interesting. And you see that it looks like there were a group of people

that were brought here to Briarstone by Count Hazerton Lowell IV. Himself. The very one that Winter came here to figure out, like... Wasn't he supposed to be investigating or something? Like, looking it over? He had some connection to Briarstone,

and he disappeared. He left his posts. And so Winter and the Sisters of the Maiden Choir were dispatched to try and figure out, like, what happened. And so she came here. It was her job to come here, because they found out

he had some weird connection to here. It was her job to come here because they found out he had some weird connection to here. It appears that he brought a group of people here. Who were they? They worked for Laos in some capacity. Shut up, Matthew. Sorry. They worked for Laos in some capacity prior to being institutionalized. You'll enjoy this when you watch it back, Matthew.

I count on it. The reason that it jumps out to best friend is because the records mention that they are, or were, amnesiacs suffering from a manner of fugue state. What? And you see files of several people. He brought us here? He brought

you here. This what? Motherfucker. And you see photos and profiles. Photos? On every single one of you. Photos? Wow.

This is astounding. Yeah. Cameras? On so many levels. There is a picture of Mrs. O'Lady. What? And it says... In color.

Kartha Malasord. What? What? Underneath it says, cashier for, in italics, nameless books in Threshmore. In parentheses, possible front for criminal activity.

What? What? What? What? Mrs. Old Lady's running numbers? She's cooking the QuickBooks? Son of running numbers? She's cooking the QuickBooks? Son of a bitch, she's cooking the QuickBooks? There's a picture of best friend.

It says, Halster Price. Abducted by a raiding force of phrasma-worshipping zealots. Forced to apprentice at a blacksmith. Oh. Colin suffers from intermittent seizures. Oh, no. Is Colin suffers from intermittent seizures?

Oh, no. Stay away from him. Stay. No, please. Don't stop it. wonder they committed him. That's really, really good. Doesn't belong in polite society. Please.

No wonder we've had so many nightmares. Skid, I will pee everywhere. I know. You must stop making jokes. Please, hurry. There's a picture of Sheila. Yes. Oh, no.

Hold on. It says Aldo Casimir. Underneath, court alchemist of the Belerick, comma, Duke of Westwald. Whoa. Dude. Nobility. comma, Duke of Westwold. Whoa! Dude! Nobility! Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of... And then you're flipping through

and you find the file for James. The... Just some shitty rat Security Just a spot out rat This fucking guy out of here This guy out of here Looking for love

The dossier says Illusionist slash entertainer for hire Works in and around Ustalav You're a fucking magician? It's illusionist. Illusionist, Michael. Illusionist, Michael. But the name doesn't say James Netherford.

What does it say? The name says Atticus Grimm. And we'll see you in Atlanta. Outro Music