The Glass Cannon Podcast - Time For Chaos S1 | E10 – DMV

Episode Date: May 23, 2025

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It's hockey season, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice rank on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Goaltenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes. Because those are? Yes, we deliver those. Gold tenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes. Because those are groceries and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant

food, alcohol and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role playing game entertainment. Oh hello, welcome back! It's Friday night. it's time for Chaos. I am pretty fired up about jumping into tonight's sesh after last week's humdinger. But I have a couple options for pre-show BANT that I'm going to let you, the players, choose from.

I'm going to give you the basic subjects and then you can pick and then we'll talk about it. The first subject is, what the fuck was the first one? Hobbies, we'll say hobbies, something to do with hobbies. It's, again, I have a very specific thing in mind for each of these. Hobbies, bachelor parties or bachelorette parties for the second one. And then the third one is one that is probably won't will be boring is just

gonna be me ranting, though I'm sure everyone can contribute general contractors. Once again, that's hobbies, bachelor, bachelor parties, or general contractors. We went from very vague to very specific. Very specific. Oddly it has general in the title. What jumped out at you amongst those three scintillating topics? Well, I mean, I feel like the most salacious is going to be the bachelor bachelor at parties.

But again, I don't know the specific question underneath that umbrella topic. I think they're all good. So you can't go wrong with that one. Well, what do you think, Kate? I feel like I would have limited stuff to contribute to general contractors as I've never owned a home and don't need to do any of that really. Fair enough. But I'll listen to you rant.

I love listening to people rant. Okay, I can always call you after the show and let you know. All right. It's really, it's just me being angry. Ross, which one of those really struck you? Is this us coming to a quorum to discuss, to find the one that we're all gonna go in on?

I, like Kate, I think I could really only weigh in on hobbies, because I've never been in a bachelor or a bachelorette party, and I have limited experience with general contractors. Okay. All right, so hobbies is kind of running away here. Nora, you're gonna be the tiebreaker. Actually, there's no tiebreaker.

You're gonna just make things complicated. I'm gonna make things complicated, because like Ross, I could probably only contribute to hobbies But I kind of want to hear you bitch about contractors. Yeah Wow. All right. Well, you might get a little bit of all the Let me start fuck it we'll just go with all of them. Let me start with What I was gonna talk about for bachelor party. So my friend is probably my last friend that is gonna get married. So it's the last bachelor party that I'll be a part of

unless my brother gets married, but it doesn't seem like that's happened anytime soon. So his best man sends out a survey and the five options are the following. Vegas, Montreal, Myrtle Beach, Atlantic City, and Fort Lauderdale. And mind you, this is for mid September. Did you do that on purpose

so that everybody would pick Vegas? Well, you know, I wonder, I wonder, because I've mentioned this to people like, ah, I don't want to fly. Because the other thing is, what's your preference? So I- What's the age range here? They all come like early 40s dudes or- reference. So I age range here they are. I have no idea. 40 dudes or.

Yeah, no, it probably yeah 40s 40s and and not everybody knows each other. So it just be that's my nightmare. Like I hate that. And so that's the good thing about a Vegas is that you can just go hit the crap. They don't talk to anybody. But I I clicked all of them except Myrtle Beach because Myrrtle Beach is just, it's fine. But you don't want to go there in mid September. Why click Fort Lauderdale, but not Myrtle Beach? You know, I, that's a good question. I initially unclicked Fort Lauderdale and then I re-clicked it because I'm like, you

know what, I don't like Florida, but I'll give it another shot. I figured the weather is probably nice mid September. But yeah, no, in retrospect, that was probably a dumb one too. All right, so let's throw out Fort Lauderdale. I'm not gonna pass up a trip to Vegas, Montreal's awesome, but at the end of the day, I'd like to do Atlantic City because I can just drive there in three and a half hours. It's awesome, it feels classy.

It feels like old, you know, like old. It's old, old, it's just old. But it could be cool in that way. Which one would you go for, Kate? Probably, I'm leaning towards Montreal just because like the wild card of not knowing who you're with, I don't know if I wanna go to Vegas with those people, like it could get really weird

if one of them just like off the walls and is like, I don't know, brings other fun things with them or like. Yeah. Well, here's the problem with Montreal. I think Montreal is like very strip club oriented. Oh. And that's not my jam. And so like. I've never been there.

So I was like, oh, a new thing. And it might be cute. Like, it's French or something. I don't know. I think that's the big, the big draw of Montreal. I could be wrong. Maybe, I mean, my buddy's not a big strip club French or something, I don't know. I think that's the big draw of Montreal. I could be wrong. Maybe my buddy's not a big strip club guy. I wouldn't put past him.

But like when you do that and then there's one group of people that's like, all right, you guys have fun and then you look like the loser friend that doesn't wanna go to the strip club. I'm like, well, that doesn't do anything for me. I'd rather just go eat some poutine somewhere. So maybe I should unclick Montreal

now that I think about it. Just Vegas or Atlantic City. Anybody have any qualms with this? Ross, you've been noticeably quiet here. So without any bachelor of bachelor of thought experience. I can weigh in at least on, I was just in Las Vegas a couple weeks ago. It was a pretty good time.

Saw David Copperfield. Oh, wow. It really, quite the experience. Can very much recommend. But I also have experience, I went to Montreal years and years ago and it's one of the coolest cities I've ever been to. Highly recommended, very cool scene.

And was there doing shows one of the coolest cities I've ever been to, highly recommended, very cool scene and was there doing shows and can confirm that the place we were performing was surrounded on, it seemed, every side by a strip club. I would never have guessed. Yeah. Portland's like that. Portland is. I think it's got a very famous strip club.

Here's the thing though. Portland's like that. Portland is. I think it's got a very famous strip club. Here's the thing though, I don't see how, how are the Atlantic City and Vegas options also not gonna be strip club oriented. Like why is it? Well you know what it is, there's other things to do. We only like watching the strip club. Oh yeah, I'm French with. You're going to the, what is it, the Spearman Rhino,

the big one in Vegas? Great, have fun. I'm gonna go just lose a ton of money having way more fun. And in both Vegas and Montreal, you can go experience the joy, the magic and wonder of Cirque du Soleil. This is true. I mean, Vegas is, I love Vegas, but you got to kind of limit your time there. Whereas Atlantic City- Vegas is played out. Do Atlantic City. That's the move. I feel like Atlantic City is the choice. Nora, last thoughts.

I love Vegas. I think I've always had fun there. To me, Kate, you said that would be stressful because if you're hurting kittens, a bunch of drunk kittens. I had the opposite reaction where I was like, wow, if I was not feeling the vibe, I could so easily just fuck off somewhere. Sounds perfect. feeling the vibe, I can so easily just fuck off somewhere. And then just be like, you know what, I got really tired while I like went to go see a different show or something. Yeah, maybe I should really push for Vegas now, you guys.

Or Atlantic City, can't go wrong with either of those. You're gonna lose money no matter what. But yeah, I know there, everybody thinks they're a good time. Like I had the best bachelor party. It was the best three days of my life We just went and watched three Red Sox games in a row at Fenway Park with my buddies It was just like new buddies came every day. We had 20 guys at family It was an amazing time, but other people's parties. I don't I don't like things that other people organize

I think that's just a very me trade, but if I'm not organizing it I'm really not that interested. You organized your own bachelor party? I had to. My best man was very good at it, but he also knows me. He's like, the way you're going to enjoy this most is if you look over every single aspect of it. I said, thank you. You're a true best man. I've actually, I've never been to a bachelorette party. Yeah, we've been to a bachelorette party. I've always had a bachelorette party.

I've always had, I've always been like off somewhere on vacation or like traveling or in school or something. And I couldn't go for whatever reason. We got to send you and Ross some penis straws. It's a good time. You have to use a penis straw. You ain't living. Yeah, God.

He just had a smoothie out of a penis straw, you ain't livin'. Yeah, god. Clarity had a smoothie out of a penis straw. I was just thinking what's missing in my life. Definitely that. It's being a chaotic party with strangers. Weiner, yeah. Yeah, they're overrated. Unless you really like your friends and their friends, then it's a good time.

But nobody thinks that. Nobody really likes that. Yeah, the worst ones are where the cliques sort of happen oh yeah people splinter off into different groups you need to like you got to be that that center of the wheel you know the spokes coming off of you you'll be able to like that's you know you got to have friends that interact with each other i mean i have to say this like coming from somebody who has spent a lot of time working in like sketch comedy clubs, just the words bachelor or bachelorette party send an ice water chill down your stomach.

Oh yeah. If you can't identify the Zach Galifianakis of your group, you are the Zach Galifianakis of your group. That's very true. Mm-hmm. Uh. And they were going to shout things out to help the show. Oh God, that was brutal.

Yeah. I mean, Comedy Club, Sketch Club's, the Bachelor Party! That's the one that I want you to work with. I mean, that's an indictment on the Bachelor or Bachelorette Party organizer. If one of the things on the itinerary is to go to a fucking sketch show. I was always baffled. It's like, you planned this for your friends who clearly is not connected to this and you came to a 1130 PM long form improv show.

The late show, yeah. Oh God. The only suggestions are strip club and penis straws. Penis straws. I need a place. Penis straws. That's not a place. Place their way to heaven!

No. A place that's just Penistras! It sounds like you've all been to awful bachelor or bachelorette parties. Have you been to the greatest ones of all time? Did you have one? I had one and then I also planned one for my best friend.

Oh. So that's two. Spill the tea. My bachelorette party was crazy. My God. I got all of us into a Mini Cooper and we drove to Six Flags. What, the three of you?

Yeah. I think that was me and it was four other people. Wow. I don't quite remember. And you went to Six Flags? We went to Six Flags. We were broke. I was 24.

I was selling tacos and walking dogs. Michael was in school to be a teacher and teaching also on the side. You can teach while you're learning to be a teacher in New York. It's weird. So we were broke. So we went to Six Flags.

My best friend's mom, who was one of my bridesmaids, got us like free tickets from her job or something. So I rented a zip car. We went there. We came back. We went to the bar that we always go to in the neighborhood. Stayed there probably till 4 a.m. Sounds like a great time. And that was it.

That sounds like a great time. Yeah. Yeah. Mostly a regular ass day. See, I think most people, they overdo it. They overdo it. That is, that's a perfect, that's perfect. Guys, call in with your bachelor, bachelor party ideas. We over did it with my friends, but it was really, really good. Well, you have to overdo it, right? Last night of being single.

Oh, my god. One, so I went to one in Vegas, one of many, and we ended up at a pool party that was being DJed by Skrillex. What? Because because it was electric daisy fuckable. Electric daisy caravola. Yeah, that was happening.

We were not there for that. That was just random. So then it was like, I don't know, we could get tickets to this hotel that has a rooftop pool. And we're like, all right. And we got in there and Skrillex was playing and everyone's in the pool and it was not our scene. And for many reasons, this one guy

who kind of looked like a Muppet, like floated past us on an inner tube and just went, cocaine and ketamine and like floated past us. an inner tube and just went, cocaine and ketamine, and floated past us. Then 30 minutes later, he's making out with this incredibly attractive woman. We're like, what's going on? We were stealing other people's towels because that was extra money to get a towel in the pool.

The best part of it slash dumbest was there was like a little, this black small disc was like floating in the pool. And some of my buddies like check it out, man. Yeah. And they grabbed it because they thought it was like a pill box. Like they were excited about potentially taking unknown pills. Strange pills. Just like, let's take these weird pills. And we got back to the hotel room and they keep trying to like crack it open and it won't open. Right. And they're sitting like, I can't get it. I have some cool friends and I was watching this and somebody else who walks in and had not seen it yet just looks at it and he goes that's a fucking ear gauge. And they grabbed somebody's fucking giant ear gauge fell out of their floppy ear, floated

in a pool and then my idiot friends thought it would somehow get them high. Oh my god. That's fantastic. That's the beauty of the bachelor party. The bachelor party that we planned one of the nights we ended up at a rave. So that would have been fun. Yeah. This is a free idea for whoever can invent the combination ear gauge and pool, uh, pill

caddy. Yeah, you need something? It's an ear gauge. It's a pill caddy. It's both. Um, well, you know, well, I'll let you, I'll keep you posted. I think this will be an ongoing story. I'm going to update you.

I imagine none of these people are going to watch these streams as I give you the real straight dope on what I liked and didn't like. But God, now I feel like I don't want to do this. This sounds awful. It'll be fun. Maybe not. I'm not going to Myrtle Beach in the middle of September. I'll tell you that much.

But now we don't have time to talk about hobbies and general contractors, because we have to play. Call of Cthulhu, but you know what, before we play, let's do a giveaway, let's do a giveaway, or we're gonna start a giveaway. I teased last week that Chaosium sent me all these amazing things, the new massive Neanderthal tip special edition box set, and this bad boy right here,

Cults of Cthulhu, which is it's beautiful. And I joked that I'm keeping it. Well, I am. But they sent us more. So we're going to give one of these away tonight. If you're watching Brennan, our main man Brennan is going to

throw up a link in the chat. When that goes in, you can enter and then I think you have to you have to be watching the stream when we give it away. We should make that the rule so you can't just enter and then go fuck off for the rest of the night. You gotta watch the whole stream! And if you don't, then we'll give it to somebody else and then we'll email you to let you know you should have watched the stream. Anyways, Cults of Cthulhu, beautiful. This is their newest book they just released.

And there's adventures at the end as well. And current players are not eligible, Nora. I'm so sorry. You won't be able to enter. Guys. I want it. Girls, ladies, gentlemen, we are going to play some Massive Neolithoatep tonight

last week. Ooh, man, quick recap. I can't say too much in the recap because I want to hear what you glommed onto. If I start giving you information, I'm just kind of leading you along. Not interested in doing that. Let's go to roll 20 real quick

because I think the best way that I can recap how the episode started is by showing you a photo that I didn't show you yet. I was doing some prep today and I came across this photo and I was like, oh my God, I don't, I was so hyped to show the photo of the fire escape that I never, I never even thought about this one. But this is, this is the, the murder scene. Here it is. This is the murder scene. Here it is. Boom.

Murder. Look at that. Whoa. God damn it. That is what it basically looked like. You walked into room 410 after reconvening in New York City. You walk in Jackson Elias lying on the floor, stomach ripped open. The way I described it is more accurate than what you're seeing here.

This is just one artist's rendition. Intestines should be everywhere, but you see also a mark carved on his forehead. And then these dudes with these headbands with these long, flappy red felt things, they've got their knives. The guy in the back who's climbing out the window, his knife is a little more appropriate, more machete-ish.

And there were three of these dudes. They got away. A chase took place. Vaughn jumped out the window, almost died. I was reading online, some people thought I should have been harsher on you. I'm like, but he roamed. You would have been well within your rights.

I know, you would have been just dead zony. But no, I think that that was heroic and crazy, and certainly first episode of this new section you could have died, but you survived. Unfortunately, what you can only assume were Jackson Elias' murderers, they got away. They got away. You come back upstairs and you're just searching your room trying to find things. I'll tell you what you found, things that jumped out. This symbol carved on his forehead. All this has been is in your little sidebar

here on World 20. But this this horrible symbol that looks very purposeful. You find a letter from a woman named Miriam Atright, I believe. I have no less than 3,000 handouts here that I can see that you guys can't see. It's a real treat going through them. Letter from Miriam Atright to Jackson Elias, care of Prospero House publishers, talking about a book that he was looking for. You find a letter from an M. Warren Bessart to Mr. Carlyle, perhaps Roger Carlyle, the Carlyle expedition, talking about sort of friends, what is it? Inquiries in the old quarter identified one Faraz Najjar

in the street of Jackals, who claims to be in possession of singular curios, which he believes will be of great interest to you. So you know that Jackson was investigating the fate of the Carlisle expedition. Well, here's a letter that was to Roger Carlisle. But then the cops come and you guys just leave a murder scene, run away, covered in blood. Vaughn is just all scuffed up from falling out the window.

Faeru is covered in blood. All of you, just a mess. You sneak out of there into the night. I'm covered in Vaughn's blood. Covered in Vaughn's blood. You reconvene at the Waldorf Astoria. Vaughn is graciously putting all of you up in his beautiful room. You order some bootleg gin and some shrimp cocktail, the works, and you start digging

into, what should we do next? Who should we talk to? You wake up the next morning to the sound of a thud on the door. It's the New York Times. There is an article about Jackson's death and that it's similar to other deaths that happened, other murders that happened over the past couple of years, but someone was convicted of those murders. A lot of different options. Tell me what's going through your head here. This is the beauty of Call of Cthulhu.

Now you've got like a lot of options and as you start to dig into this more, you're only going to find more and more options and some of them are going to be dead ends. Some of them may seem like dead ends. You got to go back later. A lot going on. What do you want to do?

What I remember, I'm sorry, it was the person that was convicted, were they in an asylum? They were in Sing Sing Prison. Oh, in Sing Sing. Yeah, which is still here to this day. It's about 20 minutes from my home in Austin, New York, Sing Sing Prison. And yes, the man that was arrested for these murders goes by the name of Hilton Adams. Convicted of the Harlem murders in October last

and is awaiting execution in Sing Sing. Lieutenant Poole offered no opinion whether this new murder indicates that Adams had accomplices or is innocent of the earlier crimes. Now, because you were eavesdropping when the cops showed up, you saw a plainclothes detective show up after the cops, the uniformed policemen were kind of clearing the scene, and you overheard them refer to him as Lieutenant Poole or Detective Poole. Yeah.

Very strange. So it doesn't say in the article, I don't think we know when that person will be taken off death row. Is that what they call it? They're going to be taken off death row. When you say taken off, you mean taken off or? Murdered. Oh, there's been another murder.

You're free, sir. Oh, God. Clearly you weren't the culprit. Take him off with this chair that's plugged into this wall. Yeah. Yeah, what did you mean by taken off? Knock him off. Killed, yeah.

Killed, yeah. No, it's not clear. It just says soon. Yeah. Because it sounds like we have three different places to go. Because if there were two things to do, we could split off doubles, and that's kind of comfortable. But there's that. There's the funeral.

The funeral's tomorrow. Right now it's Friday, January 16th. But the funeral's going to take place tomorrow morning in Brooklyn, I believe at the Cypress Cemetery. I'll find that for you. But I would assume you would all wanna attend that, but you tell me if you don't want to. Yeah, your dance card is filling up. But yeah, you've got all of Friday to just enjoy the city

and start investigating this horrible murder. So lay it out, Kate. It's the prison? The funeral and going to Harvard. But maybe the funeral is not going to take all day. And we can split up after that. Yeah. And it's not even I don't think it's even Harvard, right? It's it's somebody the publishing house is in New York.

Oh, yeah. It was sent to Jackson Elias Caravey Pub publishing house here in New York from a woman that works at Harvard in Boston. Oh, okay. So we'd have to, yeah, we'd have to... If you go there, you could call. You could call and see if you could ring a ding. Yeah, I think Vaughn wanted to give that woman a buzz. There's also, Nora, didn't you get some car info? Yes, I was just about to ask. So I, as they were getting away, they, I rolled,

they, I noticed that they were in a black Hudson touring roadster, the first few letters of the license plate NYL, was it? Uh-huh, yep. So that's what I got. letters of the license plate NYL. Was it? Yep. That's what I got. How common was this car at the time? Oh, that's a good question. Would it stand out if we like,

or would it just blend in with like, is it the Honda Civic of... Or is it the DeLorean? It's my understanding that it's a pretty nice car, pretty sweet car. I mean, this is information that the police would love to have, because then they could kind of trace the vehicle.

But yeah, it's almost useless in your hands. But it's my understanding it's a nice car. Although there is a detective pool. Or is there a department of motor vehicles? That we could try to. You wanna sweet talk the. The DMV clerk. Front desk person.

Make a tin foil badge and go talk to them. You know, it's funny, at this point, I have to like start Googling like DMV. When did it start? Whatever, who gives a shit? There was a commissioner of the DMV in 1924. So it reasons, yes, there's a DMV. It could be brand new.

That could be a whole little flavor we add to it as no one knows what the hell they're doing. Well, I got yelled at last week for saying that there was a TV. You could hear the TV in the room. No, you couldn't, it was the radio. Look, if there's one thing I want in my role playing game about a fucking Squid monster with dragon wings. It's reality historical accuracy

Don't be afraid of similitude the fantasy doesn't matter Well, you know, I think this is why a lot of people are afraid of playing Call of Cthulhu because they're afraid of fucking it up I know my Joe from the network. He was at first. He's like, I don't want to play I don't know anything with the 1920s. I'm like, ah, who cares? Well, there's a lot of people care Make a graphic make a graphic that whenever we fuck something up It's like a stamp that reads old history or something like that that just comes in Yeah, it is funny to take To get angry.

There's no TVs. Where's the next monster? Where's the next monster? 1924, there was a commissioner in the DMV. Let's say there is a DMV, but if the first commissioner was 1924, it's probably a very small office. They're just getting started.

They don't know what's going on. They don't know. They're easier to sneak into. Exactly. My job is to just be like, yeah, sounds cool. Let's do it. Well, cause we can't contact Lieutenant Poole without kind of admitting that like we were there.

We're newlyweds or not. He's seen many of us. We're crime solving newlyweds. Yeah. There's an angle. Yeah. Have you seen McMillan and wife? Well, so it sounds like this 16th,

the morning that we wake up, that we're all hung over and food comod, we can do one of the two things or both of the other two things that aren't going to the funeral. Yeah. You got some options. And make sure you see the Statue of Liberty.

Yes, the Statue of Liberty. I must see it. You don't want to come to New York and not see the Statue of Liberty. You can't. Obviously, let's role play that. Let's see if any of you were allergic to that shrimp cocktail by doing a luck improvement role for the show this week

We can probably roll that is that's what my character dies of yeah Come back with the most obnoxious character. You know is it like in the electric shock Why'd you give me that? I don't think they did have EpiPens. You just died. Alt history. Alt history. Alright.

You get over the luck. And then you get to roll. Oh, hey-o. Yeah, you want to fail this. And then you get a d10. I failed indeed. I got a one. Oh, no, you lose 30 luck. That's literally what I have right now. shellfish poisoning. I gained four points of luck. Oh, nice. My wife just forwarded me tickets for this year's Polar Express in Whippany, New Jersey.

We went last year and let me tell you, it is a treat. If you love Christmas, make sure you ride the Polar Express. From Atlantic City to the Polar Express, enjoy beautiful New Jersey. Beautiful Whippany, New Jersey. Just imagine if the movie had been in live action and actually watchable. That would have been amazing. Instead of the uncanny valley.

What are you talking about? There was a L.F. Aerosmith plane up there. How dare you, Robert Kirkovich. I just remember trying to watch it on a plane. On a plane. Well, there was your first estate. Everything goes on a plane. Cause you're too scared about dying. dying and he couldn't cut it.

What do you Jackaloons want to do? Well, Vaughn is shaking off because I did not do so good on that luck roll. So I think just like the head is pounding, which makes sense. He was he drinks too much and. Which makes sense, he drinks too much. And is kind of getting himself out of bed, like asking, like called, buzzing down, like bring up a block of ice. There's a good boy. And he's like cramming it into a towel and like putting a water bottle on his head and

like staggering around the room in a robe, but wants to call this Miriam Atright character to learn more about this book that Jackson was after. Okay. Yeah, I would imagine that you, especially at a nice hotel like this, you could phone down to the concierge and get the phone number that you need to contact Miriam Atright. Let's see what you know here on the letter. It just says, Miriam Atright, Harvard University Library. So you get a number for a Harvard University Library call.

You ask to speak with Miriam At right? You're put on hold. You're given another number to call. You call and it's someone picks up and says, hello, you've reached the Widener Library at Harvard University. Um, yes, excellent. A Devil of a time. I'm getting someone. Thank you so much for picking up. Looking for a Ms. Atright, if you'd be so kind. I believe she's on the staff there.

Yes, and may I ask who's calling? This is Vaughn Villiers, a friend of Mr. Jackson Elias, a friend of hers, author, one of the hacks around Prospero House publishers. I'm sure you know the type. All right, hold on one moment. Let me see if Ms. Attright's here. Carter walks up behind Vaughn with a Bloody Mary and wearing one of Vaughn's robes. And it's just like, God damn. Who are you talking to? He's on the phone with the lady. Are we all trying to get the lady from the letter? Is there speakerphone? Put it on speakerphone.

We all huddled around. Faerie's also has a drink in her hand. She like clinks with Carter. She's like, what fun hasn't led is that the way to beat a hangover is to keep drinking. Yes, exactly. Are you an amateur? What the fuck? Hello, this is Miriam Atright.

I was told you're a friend of Jackson Elias's. I'm sorry, what did you say your name was? The name is Villiers, madam. Vaughn Villiers. How may I help you, Mr. Villiers? Well, am I to be given to understand that you were also a friend and acquaintance of Mr. Elias? I would say perhaps an acquaintance of Mr. Lyte? I would say perhaps an acquaintance. I was a great admirer of his work. I'm often told

I have a bit of a ghoulish sense of humor and his often irreverent approach to research and whatnot tickled me. We never met in person, but we've corresponded over the years. He's always busy looking for his next subject. And so I tried to help him as best I could. What was this regarding? He's dead. First, thank you, Tillinghast. First, Mr. Atreide, I'm afraid as a dear friend, Mr. Lyos, I must be the bearer of some bad news. I'm afraid that our mutual friend has met with a,

met with a rather terrible accident. It's best not to pad information such as this with too much flowery language, so allow me to be blunt. The man is dead, madam. There's a long pause. Dead? Should have led with the book. Dead? I can't. How?

Both of you. Dead? I don't understand. How did he die? Don't tell that part. Don't talk about the guts. It's just what I've heard, madam. Of course, it's what you read in the papers. It's that I believe now is a matter for the police, the coroner and Mr. Lyce's

close family. But in so much as Mr. This is just awful. I don't know what to think. He was always so, so kind. And we had always spoke about meeting at some point, either when I was going to come to New York or if he came up to Boston. Oh, that is... and you were a friend of his. Yes, in so much as Mr. Lias can be said to have a close personal family. I suppose I was a part of his professional family. And in his research that took him far and abroad, I was fortunate enough to accompany him on

one of his expeditions. Oh, well, I'm very sorry for your loss. And I yours, I assure you. Well, again, I never met him in person, but it's just tragic. Well, as a woman of letters, I dare say that you must know that while the flesh may perish, we may in a way live on. That while men are doomed to shuffle off this mortal coil, books are immortal, are they not? And as it turns out, our friend, Mr. Lyos, was in the midst of working on such a tome that if it is to

reach publication, may make his name as immortal as any that shines now in our literary firmament. And I, being his humble aminoensis and secretary, am hoping that I may receive some of the information that he was begging of you, that I might complete his great work, you understand. Faerys grabs a notebook. This is good shit, Vaugh notebook. This is good shit, Vaan, this is good shit. Yes. God, my head.

Yeah, well this. Carter gives him a sip of the Bloody Mary. Pass him with that over here, won't you? Chilling House, there's a good chap. He's like putting the nozzle to my chest. Alcoholics on parade. Well, yes, no, I, uh, you are quite the wordsmith, Mr. Villiers, was it? Villiers.

Um, well, anything I can, um, I can provide, any information I would be happy to. You're too kind. The last time I spoke with Mr. Elias was, what is it now, January, was about two months ago. He asked me to track down a copy of a book called, this is quite a story, he asked me to track down a copy of a book called Africa's Dark Sex and I'm sorry could you pronounce that last word Africa's Dark Sex yes yes S E C T S it's a very very difficult word to say to get that C and the T in there you second sir Africa's Darkatissa. What didn't you understand, Mr. Villiers? Oh, nothing. Only to say that I'll take my sects, no matter what shade they are. But to move on.

Yes. No Secatissa in the Champagne Room, so they say. Anyways, he tried to, he asked me to track down this book and I unfortunately had to tell him that this book mysteriously disappeared right here from the Widener Library at Harvard several months before he requested it. Now I must tell you I don't use the word mysteriously, lightly either. One day the book, it simply vanished. It was the strangest thing. I had placed the book back on the shelf myself not but a week earlier after someone had checked it out or it was just sitting in my desk and I knew where it went. But when he requested it I looked and it wasn't there and there was

no record of it ever being checked out either. Now the the African section, at least for this particular subject matter, that collection is not very large. So anyone who works here, we know it quite well. We walk by all the time, and it's an unmistakable book. And it was just simply not there one day. But the strangest thing, Mr. Villiers, is that there was this unmistakable odor in the collection the day that we noticed the book was missing. My tie, inquire, is to the nature of the aroma of which you speak. It was if if I if you were groping for words, was it perhaps some an aroma of decay?

Not to one not to not to offend your delicate feminine sensibilities, but an aroma of rotting flesh. To be honest, it wasn't even foul so much as memorable, but memorable in a way that we all remarked that we'd never quite smelled anything like that. It seemed to be something that had never approached our nostrils before. I'm sounding foolish recounting this story to you. Now that I tell it, I haven't, to be honest, thought of this in quite some time.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no should you should you should find no judgment from me. Miss, after it? Yes, yes. No, indeed. There is some. I find nothing foolish in the strange and unseen. Yes, well, I know I feel terrible that I couldn't fulfill one of Mr. Elias' last requests. I was always trying to help him in any way that I could. I'm sure I was just one of a number of librarians that was assisting him in his research.

Oh, I assure you, madam, he spoke of you many times. Margo nudges Vaughn and is like, Ask who had it last. And you see him like, yes, bloody heck, take another sip. I realize that this may strain the limits of what you may call professional ethics in your particular line of work, but would you be so good as to tell me if you have a record who checked out Africa's dark sects just before its unfortunate disappearance?

Yes, I could certainly look into that and get back to you. I'll be honest, our system here is still, we just underwent a big change in how we've organized these things. So it's not close at hand, but I could absolutely find that information for you and any information that may be helpful. Yes, of course. Ms. Attride, I can tell that I am speaking

to a fellow traveler in curiosity and sensitivity. Please return your call at this number and leave any message of any information you find with the concierge of the Waldorf Astoria in New York, New York. Oh, the Waldorf? Absolutely, I shall, Mr. Villius. And if for any reason your travelers ever take you to Cambridge, Massachusetts, be sure to stop by the Widener Library and I would show you our whole collection. Well, it was not a place that I had thought I might venture, but after a few minutes in your

Tralming Auditorium company, perhaps I will find my way there. Good day to you, Miss Etra. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Ask her if she wants the only copy of the adventures of Carter tilling hast in his paths Right, it's a 1700 page dome Popey adventure tell it just perhaps if we are to make a personal Acquaintance I can show you some other interesting texts of note that that are in my possession. There are more on of a more retail publication variety. SAM and MARISHA and LIAM and SAM and LIAM and SAM and Goddamn it! You fucked it up! Fine. I'll hit up some other Ivy League school library. God damn it. So when's your first date?

Oh, come, come, come. Gentle ribbing, I see. No, no, no. Vaughn, we had no idea that you were such a Tomcat. A ladies man. A Lothario.

Casanova. You seem as if I was darting around. I've never been accused of being anything of the kind. Africa's Dark Sects. This is the publication that he was after. Mysteriously disappeared. Strange aromas given out. And, uh... Well, if there's any more information, I'm sure we can trust Mr. Satterite to send it our way.

Alright, good job, V. Well, yeah, and same to you, C, as I lean over to like suck the straw of your. It's just right here. My turn? Just straight. Just A1 steak sauce and vodka. Yep.

Wait, was A1 around in 1925? Art history. Well, shall we get some breakfast and go to the prison? Sounds like a wonderful day. Now that is a sentence I have never heard. Freilandsauer. All right, well, we got the prison and we got this potential. Guys, I don't know if you know this, there's a Department of Motor Vehicles. It's in its nation stages. We could try to find out who owns this car. I don't. Yes, although I am having

gripped onto this strange work, I must confess, now that my teeth are in it, I can't lose the taste. If there was a bookstore, a library of some kind here in this great city that might have a copy, maybe, just maybe, I could hunt it down. We could try the library here. Yes. It's pretty big. So yeah, they do have a pretty good library in New York

that you can check out. It's got lions, big lions, that's all. But of course, if this Department of Motor Vehicles gets us closer to those blaggards who did such a- It is an unusual vehicle. Going to this Department of Motor Vehicles sounds like it would be so fun. It's just, wow, a department apartment of motor vehicles sounds like it would be so fun. It's just, whoa, a department full of motor vehicles and people there to tell you about them?

Must be a wonderful place to visit. Must be lines out the door. Just a party. Yes, what an incredible novelty. Who wouldn't wish to go to such place? I'm wondering also, because she said that like that book was part of a collection so like maybe other pieces of the collection copies could be at the library I don't know if they would be helpful at all. I took that to mean that there was you know just a section of like the library's collection of African folklore books but I thought that the books were like all by the same publisher or like maybe the same author. We didn't even get the author's name.

We didn't even get the author's name. Oh shit. If you'd like to make a collection. That phone call cost me $200. If only I could just search things at will. I wish I could type something and have the answer presented to me. Why won't my typewriter answer my questions? I wish I could ask my typewriter my questions.

I want to talk into this phone. Siri or whatever name could possibly exist. Well there is an operator. Yes. Oh, maybe she knows. Or he. I don't know how what the sexual politics are of the operating world. Um, yes, well, OK. I think we could easily find out the author is whatever card catalog, whatever at hell. Yes. Yeah.

Getting information is so much harder. Getting information is so much more difficult in this time period, because you have to go to the library, you know, you have to do the research on your own. There was something I was reading today, I'm trying to find, there was a great little box, they have all these little like side boxes where they tell you about like,

oh, at the time, this is something you should know. How hard it is to find information about people because after the war they like cracked down on written reports about individuals to kind of limit the amount of information that was being stored about each individual person. So it was like a, I think it had something to do with like the freedom of the individual after the war ended. They wanted to be like, well, let's not be making too many notes about everybody.

Cut to Facebook. Complete opposite of the Patriot Act basically. Cut to today. So you pretty much have to, if you want to get information, you have to either do it the old school way, you got a cold call, or you go to the library. And I mean, there's pages and pages in here of like, do you want to go to the Columbia library or the NYU library or this library? If this is your jam, I got library info for days.

Who wants to go to the DMV. Who wants to go to the DMV? Who wants to go to the library? Faerus would very much like to go to the library. I would love to go to the DMV. I'll go to the DMV with you. Amazing. All right, Margo and Carter are splitting the party. Oh, split that party.

Ask the P. All right, so Margo and Carter are going to the DMV, and they've newly created DMV. They were gonna create Make Up on the Spot, and then Vaughn and Faeruze are going to the New York Public Library. Not even in role-playing games do I want to go to with a DMV. I'm so excited.

Now, Feyrouz, just want to double-check that the license plate, what you saw was NYL something. I couldn't quite make out the rest of the plate. OK. All right. It did seem like a swanky car. I couldn't quite make out the rest of the plate. Okay. All right. But it did seem like a swanky car. A 1915 Touring Roadster? Yes. It was like NYL and a number.

You had almost all of it. So you've got the- Yeah, it's NYL-. I was a bit distracted by the head scarves flapping in the- Yeah, and the murder. Like a singular the singular numbers that means there can only be ten Actions or was it like a number like a couple numbers. It looks like a single single number All right, just one that was just one off. Yeah, and and Vaughn is like polishing off the remainder of

Tilling has to bloody Marian is like and let's we forget I I may want to at some point in the next couple days seek some professional medical attention. It hurts to stand. Everything is swelling more than the night after. You notice this? Nothing you can do for bruised ribs. You just have to let them heal on their own. Yeah, walk it off, as my father always says. Yes. Also keep in mind, Vaughn, after you saw the thing that was carved into Jackson's head, it evoked a memory in you that you thought, like, with further research, you might be able to unlock more of the significance of this. So while you're at the library, you can roll on that as well.

Awesome. All right, so you guys just crush a couple bloodies, high five, and then leave. Carter sees one other shrimp leftover. It's like 12 hours old, and this one is probably fine. Just eats it. Just pops it through. Room temperature. Room temperature shrimp.

It was boiled. You'll live for it. In what? That's the mystery. Fade up on the two lions standing outside of the New York Public Library. I assume that it's the same building, and I refuse to look and find if that's correct.

So if it is, that'd be Fifth Avenue and like 41st Street, New York City. Big ass library, big columns, Roman columns leading inside. Cut to the interior, we see Ferruz and Vaughn standing at the desk. There's a woman just like looking through files. Excuse me. Oh! God, you scared the shit out of me.

We're not the only out of me. We're not the only ones in here. Oh my God. I didn't know anyone was here. Yes. How could I help you? Magic. Well, we are. My friend and I have a title of a book that we are in search of but Having a hard time things how we haven't found the author's name

But we're trying to find a copy of it if you can help us. Yes You have the title? Yes. So if you have a record of such a book in your in your catalog We're looking for a book by the title of Africa's dark sects sects How do you spell that last word? catalog, we're looking for a book by the title of Africa's Dark Sects. Sects. How do you spell that last word? What kind of people are you? S-E-C-T-S. Oh, so sorry.

Let me see. All right. Let me just take a look here at what we have. A list of all of our books. Africa's Dark Sects. Africa's Dark Sex, Africa's Light Sex. Ah, yes, here it is. Africa's Dark Sex. It's written by a man named Nigel Blackwell.

Nigel? Oh, this is interesting. Published in January 1922, written in 1916 by Nigel Blackwell. This book was banned, actually, for obscenity. And almost all copies were destroyed. I don't know if we have a... I'm sorry, the notes here, they're kind of scratched out and written over again. It's unclear.

We probably did have copies of it at one time or another, but when the book was banned we were forced to give them all up. It's unclear. Would you give me a moment? I'll go check the the stacks here because if we do have it, it'll be in one section. Of course, we'd be much obliged to. Yep. All right. Make yourselves comfortable. And she goes off.

Vaughn. Yes. And she like pulls Vaughn aside. I'm having a hard time believing that somebody who has such a passion for literature would just go ahead and burn a book, even if it was banned. Do you think there might be somewhere in this library that it still may exist? Yes, of course. What happens to books if they're banned at a library? Do they pulp them on the spot? No. Must spirit them away somewhere. Exactly. Did they pulp them on the spot? No. Must've spirit them away somewhere. Exactly.

She comes back a couple minutes later and she's like, it appears we do not have a copy of it. But if you're good with research, I'm sure you could find out some information about the book. I could direct you to a section that may help you But I mean there's just countless books there. You'd have to dig through Do you have other do you have other? Books yes works works by a library other works by mr. Nigel Blackwell Let me see here back in my book I believe this was the only

Let me see here back in my book. I believe this was the only Title by Blackwell film. He was a way to search by author. This would make this so much easier No, no, it appears this it would what limited Information I have here. It appears that this was his only work It may have been a collection of his journals published posthumously hmm Yes, that's all the the notes that the former door librarian kept. Interesting. We'll do the research you suggest, but out of curiosity, what does your August institution do with books that have

been given the boot by the higher-ups. Hmm. What happens when a book is banned here? Well, it doesn't happen to too often Although I didn't think that sort of thing happened in them in in the land of the free the brave, etc Well in this day and age the war changed everything Forgive me for saying so but I think you you, of all people, would understand that. You look like a man that understands the effects of war, if you know what I'm saying. Just so? So perhaps people are a little more paranoid of information now than they were years ago.

Am I to understand that there was something seditious in these pages? Well, one man's sedition is another man's treasure. That's a saying. Anywho, if the police come asking for a book we handed over, it's not like we throw them in the furnace downstairs, but they need to be destroyed one way or another. We just follow the rules. For a public institution. I wonder who is powerful enough to make such a complaint for so obscure a volume that it

could be eradicated from a collection as thorough as your own. Do you have any records of who or how it came about that this book became banned? I... nothing here in my note, no, it just says obscenity. But that could be anything. More Puritan people would find things obscene that you and I would think commonplace. So it's difficult to say. Africa's dark sex, perhaps he was exploring some rather profane things happening on the dark continent.

Perhaps they just didn't know the spelling of the title. It could be. It could be an African Kama Sutra, in which case I understand why it was banned. But I'd like to take a look between you and me. Well, you've been very helpful. Have I? You're too kind, Mr. Just saying your name. Vilius. Is there a Mrs. Vilius?

There is not. Yes, Vaughn Gligarge glanced at her pharaohs and was like, No, I confess I am a confirmed bachelor. Well, you've got what we call around here a librarian's tongue. I confess that that's a turn of... I'm learning all sorts of new turns of phrase today. Well, let me... I confess that that's a turn of, I'm learning all sorts of new turns of phrase today. Well, let me, uh... He would love to find out about that. Yes, well, let's cease putting my librarian's tongue to good use and perhaps pass my librarian's eye over the section in question.

This is becoming more and more tongue-tied. Well, I bid you good day. Miss madam. Miss miss. Yes Miss enjoy our books and she points you in the direction of her books and we fade out of there You fade up on a small office somewhere in lower Manhattan we go inside and there's just three people working in a cramped office and Margo and Carter are just standing there waiting and clearly they've been waiting for no less

than 90 minutes. I don't understand. There's no one in line. There's nobody here. They gave us a number. There's a ticket. There's a ticket of a happy number now, Troy time out for a second Is there a way that we can say?

That is a con man. I used my criminal contacts as listed in the players handbook to acquire a false badge a false badge Police badge. All right, so you want to Impersonate an officer? That's right. Just making sure I'm getting the terminology down. Yeah. When you say it like that.

I think it's easier back then, you know, you don't have to have a badge, you don't have to have a thing with your face on it or anything, they didn't have laser printers. Let's see what your disguise skill is. Five. Oh, shit. It is a five. But, uh. But it's not a disguise skill, it's a disguise skill is? Five. It is a five. But, uh.

But it's not a disguise skill, it's a lying skill. Right, fast talk? Oh yeah, fast talk, charming. I'm gonna get that up. What's your charm? 75. That's right. So you're more charming than you are, duplicitous.

But then again, you could charm your way to a lie. I think it's safe to say that you certainly were able to procure something through some contact here in New York, a friend of a friend. Great. Let's see how it does. Yeah. Okay. So anyway, back, we're in this thing.

We're in this shitty office. Guy comes up. I was just gonna say, I think this is the worst place I've ever been. This is awful. This is not what I pictured at all. I thought there was gonna be marble columns. I thought it would be bigger.

Madam, no liquids. No liquids. We have like open black cups. This is just a Bloody Mary, sir. I don't know what. No liquids, please. You're acting like it's prohibition right now. No liquids in the waiting room.

No liquids. We'll be with you in a moment. Is there a drinking fountain? God, this place is, I feel like my, this is worse than the fat sucking vampires. I feel like my soul is being. It's just like an oppressive. Impressive. This is not representative

of the United States of America. I want you to know this this is not how we operate I don't know. I would I would rather be at does a pyramid this this is stinky My sanity is trembling This place is full of stinky sucking vampires sucking the life out of me Yeah, after another 45 minutes someone comes up. God damn it, it's still going. All right, number 44. Yes, that's us.

Jesus Christ. How may I help you? Ah yes, my fine, non-specific gendered person. I'm a gentleman I'll have you know. Hello sir, my fine sir. How can I help you? Lieutenant Poole NYPD. Sort of flash a badge.

I'm here with my, well I guess for lack of a better term, a German exchange student from the German police force. I know what you're thinking. In Germany they let women be police officers. That was my immediate thought. Yeah, somehow they're progressive in some ways, but I have a feeling they're going to be regressive in other ways as time goes on. Regardless, we are here, we are investigating a missing car.

And to the best of my knowledge, this is the Department of Motor Vehicles, although obviously you guys have only been around for I mean, as far as departments go. No New York Police Department. It's more of a you know, but you guys look like you're doing all right. This office is eight months old. How may I help you, Mr. Poole, Lieutenant Poole? Lieutenant Lieutenant. Yes. So we're looking for to locate the owner of a 1915 Tourig Roadster. Now, I've got the

partial plate. I don't know how many actual driver, what are they called? License plates. It's such a new technology. NYL and then the last number our eyewitness could not identify. So we're just looking to find that and then also the owner of the car because they are wanted in a murder investigation. Murder investigation. That's right. Sounds very important but you don't have that final number. That's the problem is you know eyewitnesses these days it was snowy you know it's been

unseasonably snowy here in New York. It has been very snowy give me a charm roll he's kind of eyeing you like wait a minute this guy's on his fucking horse he's only been a cop something isn't adding up here all right I also have to roll that no cuz he did the talking. Okay, good. Don't worry, we're gonna need you in just a second. This is a charm. I rolled a 43 under 75, so I think that's just regular? Yeah, that's regular. Borderline hard. So, he's like...

Well, Lieutenant, it would be really helpful if you had that final number but Let me see what I have over here And he goes back and he's like what kind of car was it again? It's a 1915 Touareg Roadster I know it's very fancy car Okay Roadster and it's very fancy car Okay Hey, give me a luck roll for Margo. Oh Okay feels unnecessary What oh no no no no

No 96 Oh No My luck is 30. You wanna push that? Push that roll? Pushing it does what again? You get a second chance. You gotta, normally you have to explain what you're doing, but where this was just a general luck roll,

I can eschew that. However, failure on a push roll usually means something bad happens this would be our first push of the it's true I will try it's not good odds but all right here we go nope 86 that's not that's also worse oh dear dear. 86. So you see a guy. We got 86. The guy's looking through some things

and every once in a while he looks up at the two of you. How you doing? Just one second. Walks to the back and leans over and talks to one of the other people in the office. I lean to Vaughn and I'm like, maybe I should have waited outside. No, no, they need to know that women can be cops

at some point in history. The other person looks up past the guy speaking with you and you both smiles and then leaves and goes into like a side office. Okay. And the guy's like, just one minute. leaves and goes into like a side office. And the guy's like, just one minute. Just need a couple more minutes here to look through. This is a murder investigation.

I just want to press upon you the need for alacrity here. Yeah, no, I understand. We gotta move things along. Lieutenant Poole, we're just, we're just taking a look at a couple things here. Okay, I mean, there's other people dying as we speak. People are dying everywhere. Okay, you said it was a roadster, right?

Turing Roadster. Turing Roadster. Both of you give me a psychology roll. Okay, come on. 49 under 50. Ugh, 81 under 50. Margo, you get the sense that he's stalling. Oh, I might nudge Carter, maybe whisper that in his ear.

I think he's stalling. I might nudge Carter, maybe whisper that in his ear. I think he's stalling. Yeah, I mean, obviously I could tell that too. That's obvious, this is clear. No you couldn't. Yeah, no, I could totally. No you couldn't. I don't know what you're talking about. What do you think I could've?

You should, I could've. Um, okay, gonna have to get a little crazy here. Once I double check whatever stats I have that are worth a damn. I think I'm going to go wait outside. It's just so stuffy in here. You're gonna bail on me? I don't feel useful.

What are you talking about? You're giving me moral support. Keep me quiet. I'm not useful right here. I think I'm just suspicious that I'm here. Okay, all right. Okay, hair detective, you wanna go outside and look for any more murders that could be happening

while we're sitting here? The thumbs up our asses, that sounds great. Yes, sir. Okay. I turn around and leave. Just go right out the door. No, we'll be, just a moment, he looks back at the door. I don't understand. For the other employee, just one no, we'll be just a moment. He looks back at the door. I don't understand.

Or the other employee. Just one second, please. Please wait right there. I go, I go. Yes. Okay, that's fine. I hope you guys are great. This is gonna ruin relations

between the United States and Germany. Okay. This is the worst it's ever gonna be. He says, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. And then he goes into the side room as well. Oh, god damn it. Is there anyone, is there, so wait, two out of the three employees?

One other person typing, nervously. Do you trust, yeah, do you trust those guys? Hey, Typey. What? What's the deal with those two? Are they weird all the time? No, no, I don't know what you're talking about. Listen, I feel like I can trust you.

Where are the records for who owns what cars here? They're all over. There's a lot of people here. So all these filing cabinets? Have you ever gotten a tour of the central department of the NYPD? Have you ever seen the inside? Do you want to maybe gotten a tour of the central department of the NYPD? Have you ever seen the inside? Do you want to maybe get a tour? I'm keeping watch outside. If cops come, I'm going to know.

So why would you not get a tour? Why would you not want a tour? You can see hoodlums. You can see derelicts that we pick up. You can see my collection of blackjacks that I use, you know. We cut to Margo, who's now outside, and you see a police car rounding the corner and coming towards the building.

I open the door and just yell, and we gotta go, now, we have to go. Okay, well, I hope you guys are happy. You fucked an investigation. What? Tell them about that tour Well, you'll blew it and they come out and and the other guy like calls to the person typing like to come in the back office Yeah, you're under arrest once I leave once I I'm gonna walk out and I'm gonna come back and you're under arrest. I hope you're happy. Carter, now!

Okay, I'm gonna go now. Fucking shit. Carter, you rush down the stairs. D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d- Real quick to see what happens. God damn it. Demarger, got it. Naish, do you remember last year when I did a couple streams where I constructed custom miniatures of our like iconic network characters from years past over on Heroforge? Well, I am pumped to say that Heroforge just sponsored the GCP. That's right. They're in the house, baby. They're Naish members themselves. And they're running an awesome spring sale this year for one week only from Monday, May 19th to Monday, May 26th. Go over to HeroForge.com and you can get 10% off physical miniatures, even color printed ones,

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table. Was there just books that you've been pulling down from the shelves? What's going on here? Feyruz, as we're just generally glancing over the section and seeing if there are any other books by Nigel Blackwell, Faeru's also knowing, like being, library being like her element, would know, she's keeping an eye out to see who's around and if there are any back rooms, staff-only areas. any back rooms, staff only areas. So maybe like us, she could do like a spot hidden for something that, any areas that would contain books

or rooms that weren't generally open to the public. Yeah, give me a spot hidden as you're skulking about. Yes, because you know, we're at the part of this Yeah, give me a spot hidden as you're skulking about. Yes. Because, you know, we're at the part of this and, you know, this series where we've seen a lot and do crimes. Sure. It's fine. Do crimes.

Rolled a 58 under 80. Okay. Regular success. This library is massive. So you're looking around, I mean there are doors for sure if you kind of stealth up to one and open it. Sometimes it's a janitor's closet, sometimes it's just like a room full of nonsense. You never really get the sense that you're near something that might have

hidden stuff. Now you do come up against some locked doors here and there, but there's no, it's such a massive place you don't get the sense that you'd be able to find anything particularly like secretive without knowing exactly where you were going. Raspberries. Raspberries. Indeed. Like finding a needle in a haystack, Vaughn. Damn annoying that the library doesn't contain the book you cited the book you want but I can I maybe roll library use to see if we're getting any

further info on either Nigel Blackwell or Maybe books that reference Africa's dark sects for sure newspaper articles. Yeah, both of you give a give a roll on their cool cool All right. Oh Yeah, now we're talking Alright. Ooh, yeah. Now we're talking. This is why we... Regular success.

See, this is why we play role-playing games, so we can be really good at the library. This is why we play. This is why we put on pads. That's right, baby. I rolled a two under 31. Woo! Extreme. Extreme success.

I think this is Vaughn's, this is basically the long distance tutelage that Elias was kind of like, they were like I think corresponding a lot about the occult and stuff. And Vaughn was maybe not as diligent a reader beforehand, but he's been burying himself in books in the intervening time between Peru and here. So he's a little bit more fastidious about it than he would be normally. All right. So you start looking around. Trying to find out any information about this book, you very quickly can tell, unless it's hidden somewhere, that they indeed do not have a copy of it here at the New York Public

Library. They may have very well had one and had to have it handed over or destroyed. But you do find plenty of books that reference it and reference this Nigel Blackwell. He was an author, an anthropologist, and he had some other works that were basically forgotten and you don't find any of those works here and none of them really did that well. In fact, it appears that Africa's Dark Sex had a very limited publication run before it was banned. And it was banned as a part of the obscene, what is it called, the obscene publications act that was passed, actually no that's in 1959. Well there was another act that was, basically

it happened in England where they banned a bunch of books and this was one of the ones that didn't pass muster. So it was banned. It appears that only like a dozen or so copies still exist, but they're almost all exclusively on the other side of the pond, with the exception being most likely this one that was in the Widener Library that mysteriously disappeared. In terms of subject matter, you are able to glean that it was like a travelogue of the author's travels across Africa. And perhaps dealt with his experience with the cults out there. So it would make sense. This is what Elias was interested in, but what the specific subject matter of the book is,

you're digging around and you just can't find it. And it makes sense. There's only so many copies of it. And it wasn't that popular. OK. Is there? Oh, god. I mean, oh, go ahead. I mean, this isn't, could that extreme success maybe spill over into learning more about

the mark that we saw? That's what I was just going to say, yeah. Okay, yeah. Are there books on African folklore that we may be able to find those symbols in? Like, we'd be looking in the same sorts of books that that stuff might turn up, but especially if we discern that it's, it's probably of Kenyan origin.

Yeah. I like that. Be a little bit more precise. I like that, I'll roll that over. So when you looked at it, the first thing that came to all of your minds, I think Margo was the first one that really got to at it, the first thing that came to all of your minds, I think Margot was the first one that really got to study it,

was like, oh, it looked like maybe a flower. And then when you looked at it, it reminded you of Demendoza's mouth, that lamprey-like mouth. But then you're like, no, it's not quite that. I mean, maybe it is, but no, this is like a cult symbol that's Kenyan in origin. You find a name of a cult that originated in Kenya known as the Bloody Tongue.

And... Not to be confused with the librarian's tongue. Hell! You connect that symbol to this cult known as the Bloody Tongue. You see images that are very eerily similar. Maybe not an exact replication, but eerily similar where you're like, okay, I see, I could see the connection here. But the ongoing existence of that cult is unclear. This seems to be an older cult. It operating in modern times doesn't

seem believable. But then again, neither did what happened to you in Peru. So you can file that away. The bloody tongue. All right. Well? Yeah. Well, it's something, but as far as Mr. Blackwell's travel log seems about a at a dead end. Yes. Seems the only copies that haven't vanished into the ether are back where I came from.

There must be another copy somewhere. There must. There must be a broker in rare and banned tomes, antiquities, and they specialize in catering to those with rarefied tastes, yes? Of course. I mean, just given the academic circles that I've seen in Miskatonic, that there would be great interest in such works as these. I find it hard to believe that these would be destroyed. Yes.

I mean, perhaps there's a bookseller we could reach out to here. Must be. Some sort of dealer or... Perhaps... If it was confiscated, do you think the authorities might have it? It is possible. But, um, I, uh... I wouldn't want to be waltzing into the police after our little escapade last evening. In fact, I don't want to see the police ever again.

No, do I. And we fade out of that scene. And we come up back on Margo and Carter. What is the plan here? Just act natural walk away from from the from the building and turn a corner. Okay, we're just gonna walk Yes, not run. Okay. I want to run. I really want to run Like with every fiber of my being I really want to run. Like with every fiber of my being.

Okay. Okay. No, you want to walk? All right. That's fine. We did my thing. It didn't work. Let's do your thing.

Let's walk. And is your goal to sort of walk in the opposite direction slowly as this police car pulls up outside of the DMV? Just like a pace, like we're New Yorkers trying to get somewhere and then we're going to turn the first alley corner sidewalk we see somewhere else.

Just loudly whistling. Whistling. Uh, why don't you give me a stealth roll. What do you guys even have for stealth? I've got 37, I tried training it but didn't really get... I got 60, I trained the bejesus out of it. Okay, let's start with Margo. All right.

I think this was a group stealth roll. Come on. 80. 80. Okay. You can push it. Maybe you get close enough to spend some luck. How did yours go?

I got an 11. I'm gonna try pushing it again. Okay. Hang on. 40. Okay, but you can spend luck to make it a Rigo success. Okay, I will spend three luck to get 37. Okay, so Carter.

And I got an extreme. You got an extreme, slipping away from the cops. You do this for breakfast. That's what I do an extreme. You got an extreme, slipping away from the cops. You do this for breakfast. That's what I do, baby. So you just like, you see an alleyway up ahead and you're like, I can slip in there. You slip in there, you turn around and Margo's not there. And you're like, all right, Margo, this way,

just follow me, it's gonna be, whoa. Margo, where did he go? And you're looking, you see the cop come out and kind of like eyeing up at the building and turns to look at you and you then duck into the side alleyway with Carter. Where did you go? Oh my gosh, I'm so pissed. A stealth! Why weren't you stealthing? What is stealth?

It's, I don't know, think of a German word for disappearing into the vapor. Ah yes, the vapor. Okay. The vapor is what I was... The vapor. Did they see you? What's going on? Are they following you? I don't think so.

Maybe we should still continue walking. Let's keep walking casually down this alley. Yes. You keep casually walking down this dark alley in the middle of the day. Oh, you know what I do? Is there like a dumpster or something? Sure.

I throw the badge. Oh, you know what I do? Is there like a dumpster or something? Sure. Can I throw, I throw the badge. Throw the little, I don't wanna get caught with that thing. It says little deputy on it. Yeah, fuck that thing. That didn't even help us.

Throw the badge in there. Did you guys have a plan on what you were gonna do to meet up afterwards, after your individual journeys for the day? Nothing that was discussed on this stream. But that doesn't mean it doesn't exist in the realms of imagination. Possibility. Like meet up at a coffee shop somewhere in between both or something. At the ice skating rink in front of the big Rockefeller Center.

We're both of us walking backwards trying to get away from where we are and bump into each other. No, but I mean, obviously Vaughn and Faeruz went to the library, Margo and Carter went to the DMV. It's probably going to take about the same amount of time, although Vaughn and Faerûs were closer to the library from where they're staying at the Waldorf. But I would imagine there was a plan to either reconvene at the Waldorf or at the next place you wanted to visit. So I can hand wave that if you guys pre-decided.

What was the other, oh, where were we gonna try to go to Sing Sing? Yeah, that's all I can think of. Yeah. All right. Meet at Sing Sing prison at 3 p.m. That would require taking a train. In that case, we would be meeting at the station at a certain point, I guess.

Okay. You can meet at Grand Central and hop on a train to Ossining. So do all four, I'm down by the way. I want to get that out of the way. Do all four of us want to roll into this prison? I miss you guys. So my vote is yes, but. Yes.

Okay, great. It's time for chaos. Whatever's most chaos. Maybe I'll stay outside. I feel like I'm just like a beacon of bad luck today and who knows. No, no, Margo, you can't think that way. You know, it's the accent. It can go so far.

I mean, Vaughn is on a book hunt, so he could try to stay in the city and try to find an Esoteric bookseller to see if he could find another lead on the missing book. What other leads do you guys have here before we commit to all of you going or one of you going? I can also break into this fucking DMV when they're closed. We could. And go through the records. I kinda like, I kinda wanna do that. Oh yeah, Carter's especially pissed at these people

that jacked him in his mind. He charmed, he's like, I don't understand what happened. I charmed the shit out of that guy. Things were going great. I don't know, I just think I pushed my luck a bit. Yeah, so there's the books, there's a prison and there's anything else. The only information we got was that, that letter about Cairo and the street of jackals. We know that Lieutenant Poole is on the case.

Yeah, we can just email that guy in Cairo. That'll be a quick turnaround. Sure, yeah, well. Sure, yeah, we'll email him. Yeah, we'll set up a Google Meet with Warren. It's called an elegant mail. It's just you write in a fancier script. Oh, you mean an email. An email.

I get my suits tailored at the email. Yes. Yeah, that letter from M. Warren Bassard that doesn't seem to, you don't seem to have anything you can follow there. It's also six years old. Right. It's six years old. The Miriam outright one is a little more recent,

but you called and spoke to her. Carter's gonna break into this DMV. And he, if someone wants to come with him, that's cool. I will definitely come break into a DMV. Switching up teams here, Carter and Faeruz are going to wait until nightfall and break into the DMV, while Vaughn and Margo take a train to Osining. Cut to the train. We see the just Austin. Cut to the train.

We see the just exterior shot of the train silently going heading from the city into Westchester. It's about 30 miles north of New York. And then we see Sing Sing Prison. It's funny when we were looking for houses in Westchester, we didn't know where we wanted to live. We're just like, ah, you know, we like some of these towns, but we don't really know the towns that well. And we were in Lake Placid at a brewery and talking to the woman, one of the owners, it was like a husband and wife, and we go to the same brewery every time we're out there. And we were like, we noticed the the the prizes are pretty

good in Austin and she's like oh you don't want to live there the prisons there so what I saw us today in this I was like, that's pretty cool. So you get to Sing Sing Prison and you just walk up to the front door. Tuk, tuk, tuk. Hello, prison. You must answer three riddles. There's a bridge and a moat. The American system of justice

is as much of a relic as I thought. I joke, but I imagine it's a light like, what are we just, how do we get in? You're not used to being around something like this. And you finally find like a visitor's entrance and you open a door and it's just a very, very small room with a kind of like a bank teller's window that you can see through and there's an officer

Sitting on the other side of the desk. He doesn't even look up as you enter Question did we ever get a name of this of this? Alleged mark moiterer who was in the article Adams Hilton Adams. I knew I root that in somewhere Did I do it there? Hilton Adams. I knew I wrote that somewhere. Did I do it? There. Great. Hilton Adams. Founder of the Hilton hotels. This is a thing that no one knew. Oh, they know. It was a big scandal when he was arrested. Come back.

All right. So he's just he's just reading the paper, doing the crossword. So I mean, I'm sure on the train ride, Margo and Vaughn would have discussed their plan of action here. So, I don't know, do you have any pitches? I mean, why can't we just ask, we are visitors. Do we need a reason? And then, if they say no, I mean, I find that foreign charm gets you quite a long way in this rather provincial country.

But failing that, is there perhaps another course of action we might undertake? Perhaps I could say that I'm offering my services to him as legal counsel. Oh, maybe. I don't know if there's any sort of, I have no sort of papers or method of proving that. So I suppose I'll have to rely on charm again. The foreign students at the college and they're writing an article about... A true crime. Yes. And these murders were just so... I don't know, sensational.

And we would like to interview Milton. Yes, of course. You were an artist, perhaps. Yes, of course. I am here to sketch his portrait for the article. See, this is why we brainstorm. Yes, we are so smart. No bad ideas.

And so I guess with that, we are so smart. No bad ideas. And so I guess with that we approach the corrections officer at the desk. Marco just really doesn't want to impersonate someone high level and legal again. Yeah, the CEO doesn't even look up. He's like, how can I help you? How can I help you? You might be able to help us, old man, if you'd be so good as to provide us with some visitation with a gentleman who I believe is currently a tenant of this institution. What's the name? Mr. Hilton Adams. Adams.

Hilton Adams? Yes. Yes, sir. Do you have a letter of introduction, an appointment, any sort of credentials? We are students writing an article. Looks at the other cup. And students. Yes. Yes. We're an exchange students.

Yes. For an exchange students. For an exchange students, okay. We would like to write an article about the Harlem Murders and who better to talk to than the perceived murderer himself. And I am here to do a portrait of him for the paper. Or I mean, I do have my camera probably on me. Or just take a picture. A collaborative thing to know

between the universities of Cambridge, Frankfurt and Harvard. At this point I take out that little note folded so that just the seal of the Harvard letterhead is visible and flash it like credentials and then tuck it right back into my coat. Yes, we are studying what goes on in the mind of the killers.

Yes, I mean, we believe that there are analysis, the late and most recent tools of analysis of dreams and we might be able to probe what makes a killer turn bad. We might be able to probe what makes a killer turn bad. Uh-huh. Yeah, they're Fort exchange students. They think they're going to speak to this guy that's heading to old Sparky. Talks to the other cop. Listen, I don't know who you guys are. This guy's on death row.

We don't just let anybody come in and talk to him. Now listen, if I thought you were maybe friends of his wife, which, sorry to say you don't look like friends of his wife, that's one thing. Maybe you're with the reporter that comes here all the time from the Times. That doesn't look like that's the case either, but either way, if you're not with one of them, or you don't have any other credentials besides this Harvard letterhead, I can't let you in. Well. You don't know that we don't know his wife or that reporter.

We are students of reporting and the... What the hell are you talking about? You don't know. You don't know. So you're going to get to roll a charm. Listen, I don't want to sound prejudiced, but I don't think you're friends of his wife's, and if you're friends of the... What's the reporter's name?

It comes in? It's Chozenberg. Chozenberg. If you're friends of Chozenberg, then come here with her. We speak to Miss Chozenberg with great regularity. I'm surprised she didn't give you a letter of introduction for us. She swore that she would do such a thing. I didn't know they had a foreign exchange program with the New York Times.

We should get a foreign exchange program here too, right? I wouldn't mind a week off from being a SEAL. You guys can come do my job and I'll go eat... What are they eating in Germany? Donuts? I'll go eat donuts in Germany. I think they're making fun of us fun. Would that be fun? Well, this fucking guy will drink some tea.

You come back here and do paperwork all day. Tommy will go drink tea and I'll go eat some German donuts. Get the fuck out of here unless you're coming with a reporter or with Mrs. Adams. Well, gentlemen, it's been very, very charming meeting the both of you. Poor Fawn, he's so sophisticated. I bid you good day, sir. And I think maybe I'll just try to take that as like, damn it, should have

rather foolish to think we could gain ingress to prison just by walking away. Here's the thing. This seems so obvious now. That we should have reached out. Yeah, wait until nightfall and then break in. Break in to the prison. To the prison.

Yeah, I mean, they obviously, they sort of left you away. However, you do get some information. You get to know that his wife's been there visiting and this reporter, Schozenberg, whose name you know, because she wrote the the article of The Times that you read this morning. So. Yeah. So I think she's our best contact if we want to pursue this angle.

Unfortunately, you've wasted half the day taking this train ride. But beautiful, beautiful train ride. Beautiful, beautiful country. The next train heads back to New York at 730 piece. The fucking Palookas just make fun of you. We see nightfall as a lovely little conversation with the Keystone Coppers. But um, what else is there? You guys are just dejectedly getting back on to the 730 train heading back into the

city. But that's, that's what investigating is sometimes and then we cut to The the person that was typing in the DMV is the last one out you've been scoping that watching them locks the door checks it hops into her horse rides it home They fucking had back then. Art history.

You like pan over and you see Faeruz has these binoculars and she's wearing, she has her hair like pulled back and tucked under like a newsboy hat. She's wearing like Catherine Hepburn pants. But I know those Hepburn pants. She's got a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. As like she's looking through the door. I pan over to Carter going, tss, tss, tss.

You guys are just in this little park across the street from the DMV watching, and you see the last employee. Oh man, I'm so jacked. Alright, killing ass. The last person has left the building. It's been so long since I broke into a place I'm so pumped. Yes! Oh this is gonna be great if you're alive. I've only broken into my father's office. All right, all right. So listen, I'm gonna show you a couple pointers, okay? All right. Here, follow me. You never want to go, like as we're crossing the street Carter's like, you never want to go in the front door because that's the door everyone sees.

So you want to come around the side here. Stop me if I'm going too fast. Yeah, no, I'm alright. I'm following along. This is the kind of thing you don't learn in a library, sister, alright? This is the kind of thing you've got to be out on the streets. I have broken into my father's office plenty of times Yeah, and that's really that's you know. I think that's adorable, but this is this is the DMV Okay This is the inaugural DMV this is Titan Fort Knox. I'm sure this is good at least And at least now we don't have to wait in line.

Oh God, you don't know. I can't explain to you. She pulls out a hair pin from her hair. All right. Now let's go see if we can find a side door here. You can actually head down that same alley that you and Margo ducked into. It's alley.

You see a rat run by with that badge in its mouth. That thing was made of chocolate this whole time, I had no idea! I gotta talk to Lenny the Fence. You do see a back door leading into this building. There were other offices in this building as well, but there's a main door in the back that's padlocked. Okay. Alright, this is your standard s29 padlock right Carter pulls out his little leather Envelope foldy thing that he had last episode if you haven't listened or watched it check it out

real plug There are other if you don't know there were other episodes before this one So I'd like to Carter would like to locksmith this padlock. Okay, give me a locksmith roll. That's real bad. That didn't work. Oh. 81 over 43.

I feel like that snaps this thing in half. No, but a fail on a push roll might, unless you let your friend Fae Roos try. Alright, this is just, this is part of the job, okay? Sometimes it doesn't work the first fucking time. Right, well, half this needs a woman's touch, and she takes this hairpin out of her hair and attempts to pick this lock. You talk so much trash. I rolled a seven. Okay. So this is the deal.

Under, under 23. So it's not, it's just a regular success. Oh, it's a hard success. It's a hard success. So Connor hard success. It's a hard success. So Karla's like, while you're like jiggling away, Karla's like, listen, don't feel bad when it doesn't work. Okay. Everyone tries, everyone gets nervous the first time.

Click. Click. Super fast. What did you say? Oh, cute was it? That's beginner's luck. That's fine. She puts the pin back in her bun that she has pulled back

and she takes the lock off her door. Okay, all right. Why don't you hold this? Yeah, that's fine. That's what I do. I hold doors for ladies. That's how I'm a gentleman. Right.

Shall we? Yes, fine, whatever. You hold the door for expert locksmith. Whatever. You hold the door for expert locksmith. You're a ruse. It was one of the skills I worked on during the four years that we were having here. You're waiting to use it.

You slide down the hallway, you're coming through the back, you see the staircase leading up. Same staircase you and Mongo took, and the door leading into the office, which is obviously locked again Okay. All right. I'm gonna do this. Would you like to try? I got it. I got it This is what I do. The first one it's cuz it's cold outside and my hands were numb I'm gonna lie school this

This thing perhaps your Nana can knit you submit my Nana died Okay, just so you know TB. Thanks for bringing that up I got an 88 over 45 My Nana died You distracted me about the Nana bullshit That's fine another one broken right, that's fine. Another one broken, cool. I'm gonna try to pick this lock again.

Suck him, suck him. Who does she get to kill? No, did not get it. Okay, talk a big game. This is the reality of lock breaking. Who's gonna push? Right, well. Can I take a listen at the door and just?

Yeah, for sure. Just to be safe. You watch the final employee leave, but who knows? Maybe there's a night watchman. Yeah. It'll be a listen roll. Do it. Okay, okay.

Do it. Okay, okay. That is a 19 under 65. So that is, I don't, that's not an extreme, I don't think, but it is definitely a success. It's a hard, yeah. Especially after the two of you have been fucking around with the doorknob, you listen and you don't hear any movement,

so you feel pretty confident there's no one inside. Now this door, this door, is this one of those like, what's this door? Is there like a frosted glass kind of top side, you know, like in the noir? Is this like, think in the door situation? It's a door that would say principal.

Exactly. It just says, Department of Motor Vehicles, like a fancy script. Yeah. Okay, so it's a, it's got a glass element to it? Yep. Okay, so this is the D. But you could push the locksmith roll

I know my I did not I rolled way too high to always push it. What do you what is it? It's not like luck. Well, if you push it, what does that mean? So you push it and describe what you're doing differently and if you succeed you succeed if you fail There's a negative consequence. Is it a padlock or is it a doorknob lock? This one's a doorknob lock, like a deadlock. So I think what I'm going to do, because this is different from the padlock, I'm going to inspect it. I'm going to readjust the hairpin, bend it back

differently to adjust to this lock and try it again. It's not gonna work. It's not gonna work. Whatever you're doing, it's not... You bent it. 17. That's fine. Under 47. All right. Was that a hard success again? No, it's a regular.

Regular success. On your pushed roll, you succeed and pop open the door. That's- You see the office. My theory here is that this door was not locked. We should have just tried to open it. I'm gonna do you a favor telling Haste, and she takes out another hairpin from her.

You should invest in some of these and puts it in his hand. All right, that's fine. That's all right. And he puts it in his, whether like if you see him kind of like turn away from her, like whatever, and then he looks at it, and he's like, God dang, this that's fine. That's all right. He puts it in his leather Like if you see him kind of like turn away from her like whatever and then he looks at it He's like God dang, this thing's awesome You see inside it's the same office as before there's a desk

Sort of separating the back part of the office you gather hop over or there's like a Little door that you could push open to get behind it and that's where all of them were with the back part of the office. You can either hop over or there's like a little door that you could push open to get behind it. And that's where all of them were with the back office. You saw the guy initially looking through a book that is still there. What do you do? Carter hops over the desk instead of going through the thing. Dukes of Hazards over the desk.

Okay, this is another important lesson, Faeruz. Right. Dukes of Hazards over the desk. Tssst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst-tst- I'm just curious what my acrobatics would be if I could do a back handspring behind this thing. Like Catherine Zeta's Jones in... What is that? Inch round? Yeah, what role would that be to try to attempt a back handspring over his scoot? Oh, there's no athletics here. Yeah, what's fun? Jump?

We already know your jump isn't that great. my jump is probably really shitty. Where is it 20? You know what let's let's give let's give tilling has something to be proud of because I I know I'm gonna flub this role I'm gonna attempt a backhand spring. It's you try to look fancy. Yeah, I'm trying to look fancy this Miskatonic graduate student. I rolled a 48. So you guys are just trying to one-up each other. Yes, and I've boof, and she

Oh, did that hurt? You see her just go You just see her legs go up and then she just stumbles over and you hear you just hear the sound of crashing behind the desk. A couple of cast iron pans at the floor.

Can't be perfect at everything there, that's. And then she just springs up, I'm fine. All right, that's fine. A couple of keystone goofballs. Come over here, are you done? Come over here, There's this book. This is where this asshole was looking before. Fuck me over.

You were the one giving me a lesson. Yeah, well I didn't tell you to back handspring off the desk. I thought it'd be- That's not a cat burglar thing. That's a, that's a nimble, that's a cricket burglar. Cricket burglar? Yeah, that's another level. You're not there yet.

Fine. All right. What is it you want to show me? You know it's a black 1915 Hudson touring roadster. Hudson. You know the license plate is NYL and a number. Give me a library use roll both here. Oh, god damn it.

Hey. Hey. Time to shine. A lot of books here. Lot of books. A little lot of records. I rolled a 44 under 50. 44 under 50.

What about you, Carter? I got a 56 over fucking something. 20. OK. You see license plate NYL 3, 4, 5, 6, and NYL 7 is tied to a 1915 black Hudson. named Thomas Witherspoon. And then there is a note that looks freshly inscribed that says, stolen. Shit.

Carter's just holding one of the other books upside down because he failed the roll. None of this makes any goddamn sense. What'd you find? Oh. As she like turns it upside down, hands it back to him. Well, I found records of the vehicle. There's good news and bad news. Hmm. Which one do you want first? I'll take that. I mean the bad news sounds great.

Well, it's stolen. So I don't know who is actually driving the vehicle. But it belongs to a one Thomas with a spoon. Okay. Is there an address that belongs in the records? Is there? I don't know. Oh. You succeeded enough that now you can start referencing other filing cabinets and you find a Thomas Witherspoon

and he lives up in Harlem, off of Lennox Avenue. Sweet, I hear there's a renaissance going on there right now. It sure is. We could see if this Mr. Witherspoon recalls anything from being still. He might not have seen anything, but he might have seen something. Yeah, I mean, it's better than nothing. Let's shag ass out of here. And then, Carter...

Shag ass? What does that mean? Carter goes over to the desk. Shag some ass. The desk of the guy who was talking to him. Maybe there's like a family portrait. Or there's like a picture, photograph or something.

He just wants to vandalize this guy's desk. So it's him and his wife and three kids and they're just spiraling the long, long beach. Carter gets a found pen, draws like dicks all over it. And like, mustaches and some spectacles. Yeah, fuck this. He's just covering dicks. Urinate on his chair.

He's going to hate that. Oh, all right. Don't look though, I'm not gonna go. All right, fine, I'll turn around. I'll turn around. Tell me when to turn back around. Back in the train, Vaughn's like, I'm sure that he was fruit right, fine, I'll turn around. I'll turn around. Tell me what to turn back around. Back in the train, Vaughn's like, I'm sure that he is fruitless as our search has proved.

Tillinghast and Gibran are conducting their side of our little two-pronged attack with the utmost decorum. Yes, they are very focused in criminal and searching. I guarantee they are just doing a good job getting in and out very quick. Yes, yeah. I come back and card like, this is cat burgling lesson 42.

You leave your scent just like a cat. Mr. Nice guy. Well, he's pissing on this photo. You gotta tag, you gotta tag things like a real cat. Cat burglar, oh, I get it now. Yeah, exactly, see, that's how it started. Originally in medieval times, Capoeira goes pissed on everything.

Then somehow that got lost. I've underestimated you, Tiddinghast. Okay, I'm on that. But story-wise, are you guys drunk? Did you like go to a bar? I'm like, I'm drunk. To like a speak easy before you came to Tiddinghast. We were downing Bloody Mary since the morning, so.

I'm not a heen since 10 a.m. Yeah, a man drifts by saying, cocaine, ketamine? I think there's low-level drunk ever since Peru. I'm going to miss these characters when they start dying. Never. All right, so we fade out of there as Carter is pissing on a photo that is now got a ton of dextron on it. And he was just just like, this is hilarious. And we see Grand Central Stray Cern as Margot and Vaughn are getting out at like 845 at night.

It's dark. Everything is closed. If they wanted to follow up on any other leads. You got a funeral tomorrow morning. Call it a night. And then what about Carter and Fae Ruse? What is your plan after? The mission accomplished.

I mean, I say we go back to the. Go to the bar. Let's go to Double V's pad and chill. Tell us the story. Yeah. We should see it now. So let's say you all convene at like a bar near the Waldorf, there's like an Irish,

oh no, there's no bars, right? There's no bar. But there's speakeasies. There's speakeasies. We find the bar. There's speakeasies like in the basements of plenty of these places, more uptown than downtown, but like staying at the Waldorf. Sure, the bellboy could direct me to some.

McCarter's got criminal connections that I'll exploit every single episode. And for right now, let's say it's to find a speakeasie. Yeah, between your connections and a couple bucks, you can find something. So like, Vaughn and I are already there and we're just kind of like, huddled over our drinks, like murmuring to each other. What should we do tomorrow and the next day? I don't know.

And I imagine you both walk in, just like triumphant. Just strutting. Right. Ah, here we are. Hail, hail the conquering heroes. What? Woo. We found something. We got a clue. Well, you've got one over on us, Mr we are. Hail, hail the conquering heroes. What? Whew. We found something.

We got a clue. Well, you've got one over on us, Mr. Braun, and that's for certain. Didn't find the concierges at Sing Sing, none too compliant with our little quest. They didn't let you into the maximum security prison? Yes, as it turns out, just walking in there without so much as a lens of introduction

was a rather fool's errand. In Germany, you can just walk into a prison. So it's canon. Just as easily as you can walk out. Yeah. But there is someone that perhaps we can question about the murders. The reporter whose beat it was,

one Schossenberg might be able to give us some information. Oh, maybe a German. Ooh. Hello. You know? Well, there is only- Well, I showed Feyruz how to pick some locks. I think she learned a thing or two. And we got- I picked all the locks.

Yeah, that's right. You know, showed her how not to do it. And then we found, with the car, we found it was stolen. So we got a name of the owner, we can maybe hit up, find out. I don't know if he's seen anything or perhaps he hasn't seen anything, but it's worth a try. Yeah.

Yeah. But more importantly, Faerûz told me to piss on that guy's desk and I fucking pissed on that guy's desk. He urinated all over that man's desk. Oh, I'm mix-a-rated all over it. Ah yes, you were explaining the history of the cat burglar. Exactly, yeah, you see? Yes, how does everybody know this except for me?

Very few people understand this. Most people think it refers to agility. No, no, no. No, no, no, it's about tagging. Spraying, if you will. Marking your territory. Yeah, did you guys already drink or what's going on? Never stopped old man.

Okay. I'm also wondering here, is it worth it to try to find this sister Carlyle, Erika? Oh. Sister Carlyle. Yeah, the one who led the search for a brother. Maybe we can add that to the list. Yes, of course. A society type, I should think. Oh, that'd be great.

Well, we got a funeral tomorrow, so we should probably keep drinking. Yeah, keep drinking. It's going to be such a drag. Yeah. drinking. Yeah, I keep drinking. It's going to be such a drag. Yeah. I confess I'm rather dreading it. To Jackson. To Jackson. Here, here. Cheers.

You toast. Be proud of us today. You toast to Jackson, he would not. He certainly would not. You. No, we bumble-fucked our way around that entire bestie. He would be rolling over in his grave, but he has not yet been interred. But we fade out of there as you toast to poor Jackson Elias, who is regretting putting you for an Inca poof.

Troy, come back to that face of his corpse corpse because I feel like it would be perfect. Right now it's the expression that he has. You're like, aw. Good grief. Oh man. Such disappointment. These bozos. We fade up on Cypress Hills Cemetery

in Brooklyn on Saturday, January 17th. I close my eyes. The guy just finished playing Dust in the Wind by Kansas. Oh yes. On a recorder. Insane in the membrane. Frost in the wind. Cypress Hill, yes, yes.

The ceremony is brief and non-dominational. It's rather poetic. It takes place during a light snow shower. Nothing too much that you're like, ah, can this be over quickly? It's just, it's rather beautiful for such a somber moment. The turnout is small. Is there anyone who looks like a sibling or a parent? No, it doesn't seem like he had any family.

There are, there's two other men there and a young woman. As the service continues, the priest says, is there anyone that would like to share a a particular memory that you may have of Mr. Elias and his exploits. Faerus pushes Tillyhast forward. Yes. Yeah, I'll say. Myself and my compatriots over here, these three jokers, we met, we met Jackson a few years ago, had the adventure of a lifetime. And he showed us that there's more to the world than just what's in front of our faces. And for me, he showed that there's more to life than just what I want.

And there's the people in your life. And he kind of looks over to the other three and he's like, they're the ones that keep you going. And I was excited to see Jackson again, not just because he was going to take a look at my best-selling upcoming novel, Carter Tillinghast and Ventures of His Friends or something like that. It keeps changing. But he was a good man and he changed all our lives for the better, even if what he might

have shown us wasn't the prettiest things on the face of the earth. So thanks, Jackson. While Carter is giving this speech, Feyrouz will be looking around and gauging the facial expressions of each person, seeing if anything about Carter talking about adventures or something speaks somebody's interest. Right, when he says, we were adventuring with him, like both of the men, like, lean over to each other and whisper something to each other, wide-eyed, the other two men that are standing there. And then looking around, are there any, can we see the vehicles? Is this like an out of, are they too far from where we're all standing or can we see if

there's that car we were looking for? Give me a spot hidden. 26 under 80. Right, so you don't see that car in particular, but you do see several cars and you do see more cars than the number of people at the funeral. And so you start looking around and you do see there's another like, almost like group of people kind of huddled together a respectable distance away. It's unclear if they're, it doesn't seem like they're a part of this,

there's no reason for them to be over there, but they do seem engaged with the ceremony. Feyrouz will look over at Margot, just make eye contact, and then point her eyes down at her camera, back up at her, and then over at those two gentlemen. Yep, she signals, okay, got it, and tries to sneakily take a picture of the huddle of people.

Okay, so you snap some pictures of the group of people and the other attendees of the funeral as best you can, as slyly and stealthily as you can. Maybe Carter sees that Margo's trying to surreptitiously take photos and then it's just like, how do I say goodbye? We really need you to make noise because the soft snow probably. What we had. God damn. From the good times.

Thank you sir, thank you for sharing your stories. I'll stop there. There's several more verses. Quite a sonorous baritone you've got there, Tilling has. Just came out. Part of it is it bounces off the mask. Helps with acoustics. The priest says, I'll leave you with these parting words.

Although there are only a few of us here today, I'm sure you all know that Jackson Elias touched the lives of many during his time here on this earth, both through his work, which will live on forever, and also through his bright, adventurous spirit, which can never be extinguished. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, in Jesus' name we pray. Amen. The priest bows his head and walks over to each of you and grasps your hands and solemnly, somberly looks each of you in the eyes and does the same to the young woman and the two men. Then he walks off in the direction of his car. As he does, the two men approach the four of you and one of them is sort of like a 48 years old short squat white guy bald with like curling grayish red

hair. He's got some pin-snay glasses on that he's fiddling with as he walks over. The other guy is like a small wiry African-American guy who is like His hands are constantly moving and he's he's looking all around. He's looking at that other group and he's looking at this other gentleman He's looking at the young girl. He's looking at you. His eyes are kind of darting around He looks to be in maybe his mid-50s and and the young girl hangs back, and she can't be any older than like 19 or 20 years old. But the first guy comes up to you and says, I couldn't help but over here, you were traveling with Mr. Jackson, Mr. Elias, with Jackson.

Where did you travel with him? Looking around to each other. South America, mostly. South America. Peru. Peru, you... He looks at the Colton. These are the four that traveled with him to Peru I he said his adventures in Peru with the four of you It changed his life and and if you knew if you knew Jackson, which I died I I I know that you did That's that's saying a lot. I I just this is just tragic. What's happened?

I'm sorry that we're meeting under these circumstances. Jackson spoke of you, didn't he, Carlton? And he looks at the other guy that he refers to as Carlton and he's like, yes, yes, Jackson always spoke of you. We've lost a great mind in Jackson. I'm sorry, we should introduce ourselves. My name is Carlton Ramsey. I'm Jackson's lawyer. I've been his lawyer for as long as he's been a professional writer, but I'm also his dear friend. We both are. This is Jonah. He's like, I'm sorry, I haven't

even introduced myself. I'm Jonah, Jonah Kensington. I work with Prospero House Publishers. I was Jackson's publisher, but like Carlton here, we were his friends. I don't wanna say we were his only friends because you four were also very important. But you know, he was, whenever he came to New York, we were his guys. And it's just tragic.

It's just, how are you guys doing? It's been a lot to take in. I'm very sorry for your loss. It's just terrible. I keep sitting in my office thinking he's gonna come bursting through the door with a big shitty grin on his face, ready to talk about a new adventure

that he's getting locked into and how close he came to death yet again. Yes, it's in few people I've encountered in this world in which there was such a potent mixture of courage and compassion. He must have realized. It's a tragedy, I'll tell you. And what kind of sick people would do something like this? I mean, I haven't heard all the details, but what I've heard, I got some friends over in the, over in the 14th.

Some, something's not right. I want you to come by my office this week. He, he, he, He came to me before all this went down and we chatted. It's a long story but like I want you to come by so we can talk if you can. He hits my card and he hands you his card, Prospero Host Publishing, Jonah Kensington, Lexington Avenue. Come by, let's talk. I don't want to do it here especially with all of them. And he points in the direction of that group, and that group is like moving closer and closer

now that the priest has walked away. And who, just who are they? Mr. Kensington? Vultures, that's what they are. And the other guy speaks up, he's like, Mr. Kensington means that they're reporters. They're here to further their careers with a story and it won't be long before they're on us. But I too would like to speak with you.

Mr. Ramsey named all of you in his will. And we're going to be doing the, I can't believe it, I can't believe that this is actually happening, but we're going to be doing the will reading Monday at my office. This is my niece, Willa. And he introduces his niece. This is my niece, Willa. She works for me as well. I would love it if you could attend. Willa can give you the directions. But it's important that we speak. He specifically mentioned all of you. And I think there is some things you should know.

Yeah. We definitely want to know what he was currently up to, because something's up. Certainly. Certainly. Yeah, I don't want to, before he can even say anything, like they have now started to send on you, excuse me, how did you know Mr. Elias?

Pardon me, aren't you his lawyer? Mr. Kensington, Mr. Kensington, is Prosperous House gonna release a book on this? And you're just getting like, now they've descended upon you. Once one spoke up, they all start talking over each other. Faerûs starts bawling her eyes out and just like inconsolable

so that she could just peace out. What about the rest of you? Try to follow suit with that, probably very overwhelmed. I mean, like I feel like I'm also maybe looking out to see if there is a woman there, if Rebecca Schozenberg is here. Is there a woman among the journos? Let's go. I'm just crushing it today.

82 over 62. Everyone see shit. You're looking, I mean, there are men and women. No one's really jumping out at you. I also had this thought, can I try also? Yeah, absolutely. No. End of campaign.

Unfair. You lose. You know that, buddy. All right, okay, that's more. Unfair. You lose. You lose. No thanks, buddy. All right. Okay. That's more. That's more like it. I rolled a 21 under 75.

All right. So you look and yeah, you're, you get the same idea as Margo. All that time spent on the train, maybe you're talking about like, we're going to find out about this in the reporter show. It dawns on you. Maybe this, Schozenberg is here and you see a a couple women, but they're all kind of like this, and then there's one woman, small, dark complexioned, black hair, kind of separate from the crowd,

like she's not approaching, and you lock eyes with her, and she looks at you, and she kind of gestures like, can I, can we talk? And I glance over at Margo like, yeah. We make the nods. And I'm like, and I walk through, excuse me, excuse me. Fucking carrying buds. As we get through the.

Taking pictures and she's like, I'm so sorry for your loss. And I'm sorry you have to deal with all of this. I'll admit I am a reporter as well but I'm not here for a story. I think I may be of help. My name is Rebecca Schozenberg. I write for the New York Times. I actually wrote about Mr. Elias' death. She looks around, just making sure that everyone else is too busy. Kensington and Ramsey, they're old hands at dealing with the press, so they're just kind of walking away, walking towards their cars. Some of the reporters are going with them, but the other ones are hounding Carter and even Farrouz a little bit even though Farrouz is kind of splitting off and

sobbing. She's like I also wrote about the Hilton Adams murders. Anyways, here's my card. This isn't the time or the place but I would love to talk to you and your friends a little further about this. I truly think I can be of help. She hands you her card, Rebecca Schozenberg, reporter, New York Times, offices on West 43rd Street, and then she just bows her head and she's very

serious. I'm very sorry for your loss. Thank you. And she she turns and scurries off and you know, you guys turn back to Carter, who's now like getting bombarded. Carter, do you enjoy this at all? Oh yeah, Carter's trying to like, he puts his arm around Faberou's, he's like, she's just so upset because she didn't know how to pick locks until yesterday when I showed her.

So as you can see, it's just inconsolable. And she's wailing. She takes mittens that she's like drying her eyes with and shoves them in his chest. Ugh! But the name is, again, it's Carter Tillinghast. Keep an eye out for my published works. My folio really is what it is.

The adventures of Carter Tillinghast and his pals. Coming soon once I find a publisher. Thank you so much. No more questions at this time. ["The Last of Us"] Guy comes up and says, "'Carter Tillinghast,' you said, huh?' And Faeruze, you turn and says, Carter Tilling asked, you said, huh? And Faeruz, you turn and you see Carter

is like chatting with these guys and you see this guy step up and he looks so familiar to you immediately. But you're like, how do I fucking know this guy? You can't quite place you. Then maybe you walk a little closer to get an ear shot and it hits you right when he opens his mouth. He's like me, uh, Mr. Tilling asked, I'm, uh, Lieutenant Martin Poole from the NYPD.

I want you, points at Farrouz, you, points at Von, you, and points at Margo, you, to come with me immediately. And we'll see you next week. Oh my god. You're sitting there like broadcasting your name, taking lots.

Just having a ball. Just having a ball. Just having a ball. Life of Rally. I knew that would push the pot forward. Consequence of shmonsequences. You're going downtown. It's time to make your membership official.

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