The Golden Hour - Alpha Bottoms | The Golden Hour #2 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin, & Chris D’Elia

Episode Date: November 11, 2022

The guys talk haunted houses, ghosts, friends asking for free tickets to their shows, an all new segment called "Whom Do I Look Like?", their favorite Jamaican songs, airplane etiquette, stories of flying first class and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What? Dude. Flex! Time to have sex! That's good, dude. It's a very peanut butter falcon Rastafarian. Yeah, that's terrible. Well, fucking no it's not, dude. It's terrible.

It's like, ooh, that's like, here you go, the movie on the area, word of mouth, still living like that! Oh, I like that. Wait, wait, Nick bobbing his head makes me want to fucking vomit. Me and Nick were in. I know what poe do.

Wait, I didn't realize how white this show was. We're friends that laugh. We're friends that shout. Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about. But that won't stop us. Nothing can stop us. Ooh, yeah It's like a show you used to love

Just rebranded enough It's stronger, better, bigger power Cause it is the golden hour It's the golden hour Is that a Dr. Pepper? That's even worse than drinking whiskey in the morning. Go nowhere and I decided against it. That's fine. Well, you thought about it. I did. They still thought that counts, right? So I thought about it.

I go, okay, cool. And they go, nah. You know why I was about to cuss when we were first minute episode? You know why we're friends? Because you're still rocking the E's. You're still rocking the E's. I stop at the, like,

remember I was buying New Balance, and then people were outraged that the owner of New Balance supported Trump. And I don't care. If I like the shoe, I like the shoe. It's fire. I think what Kanye is doing is not good and obviously idiotic, and it spreads hate, but also... Fire is fire.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know enough about the situation, honestly. You drive a Benz, right? Yeah. You drive a Benz, right? Yeah. Yeah, you drive a Benz, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You like Benz? We all like Benz in here, right?

You like boss? You go boss suits? I know where it's going. You know where I'm going? Uh-huh. You want to beat me there? No. You want to beat me there?

You know where that started, right? Benz made... Nazis. They made stuff for Nazis. Hold on. Nazis. Nazis. No, we heard you.

You didn't... The cough didn't stop anything. Nazis. I'm allergic to them. Did Nazis have a camp in Austin, Texas or Tulsa or anywhere in Ohio? No, but I heard they were marching through Houston, which I'm there this weekend. No, no, no. But hold on, though.

I'm glad you brought that up. Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Because here's the thing, man. Austin and Ohio. And I had to make sure that the Nazis did not have a camp ever in Austin, Tulsa, Kansas City, anywhere in Ohio and Boise. Because I am playing there, yes. Well, in Boise, there's going to be some Neal ones, right? But here's the thing, though.

Chrisley.com, you go there, no Nazis will be there. The shows are live now. Well, you can't guarantee that. I can't guarantee that. Not allowed in, especially in some parts of Boise. People get stabbed at your show. Yeah, that's true. There are no Nazis invited to my show.

But Chrisley.com to get tickets in Austin. I will be there and it's all in like March and May. So go to Ohio. I think I'm in Cincinnati. Chrisley.com. We just added the things. The tickets are going fast. In the first 30 minutes, I sold 500 tickets in Austin.

Okay, dude. Be cool. Okay, be cool. This comes out this Friday, right? Yeah, so it'll probably be done. Yeah, bro. Action more. Okay, be cool. This comes out this Friday, right? Yeah, so it'll probably be done. Yeah, bro. Atlanta Punchline. So tonight you need to go to Atlanta Punchline. You're in Atlanta right now.

Yeah, I'm in Atlanta right now. You're a dirty bird. I know. Oh, you're a dirty bird. And next week, wait, but this is important. Next week, Las Vegas Wise Guys. Great club. Oh, nice.

Las Vegas Wise Guys. Next week. Come on out. Is this a regular episode? Yeah, dog. You're a dirty bird i'm in houston this week thursday friday saturday i will do an appearance on saturday from noon to two at the specs downtown come get some of that award-winning tiger thick and then next week milwaukee friday

saturday only get some milwaukee improv now i'm providence rhode island never even heard of it and then i'm in uh dc dc improv you've heard of providence nope never heard of it. And then I'm in DC, DC Improv. You've heard of it probably. Where are you staying? Nope, never heard of it. Milwaukee Improv. You probably get your... Well, you can't say where you're staying, right? Well, no. You know what? I got Jeffrey Dahmer's old Airbnb. Oh, wow.

Yeah. Is it expensive or what? I'm staying in the basement. Oh, okay. I heard it stinks. Hold on, wait. So stupid. Do you not know about...

You heard it stinks. That's just like, you're just a horrible, like, horrible like one of those type of people you go come on through We had this the smell is being pumped through How stupid was his neighbor there's like a merch table Jeffrey Dumberg heads your heads. Um, are you so Jeffrey Dumber merch out of his Airbnb? Yeah. I'm just saying the hotel where I stayed at, the Milwaukee... That place is haunted as fuck.

No, but it's across the street. Did you say haunted? Oh, so haunted. No, it's just things. It's all good. Every place is equally as haunted and that's zero haunted. That's because you're a vampire.

No, no, no. I'm with you. I'm with you on this, Curse. When somebody starts talking about like, oh, there's haunted, I'm like, I'm out. Prove it for me. Okay?

Is Bigfoot there too? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, ghosts, possess me. I'm ready's haunted, I'm like, I'm out. Prove it for me. Okay? Is Bigfoot there, too? Yeah. Hey, ghosts, possess me. I'm ready. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm in. I'm not with ghosts. Show me.

I'll be nice to you. I won't even be like, I won't expose you. We live in a time where there should be proof of ghosts. A hundred percent. How are you going to prove it, bro? Oh, you don't know my boy, Zach Baggins. You've never seen Ghost Adventure. I know.

I know Aaron Goodwin. Every Thursday, they will provide some evidence for you. They won't. No, they don't. Yeah, they do, bro. I've been on the show, okay? And I've seen the evidence. I'm terrified.

No ghosts are invited to my show in Austin, Tulsa, Ohio, or Kansas City. Or Nazis. No ghosts, no Nazis. If the ghosts are real, they could get in no matter what without tickets. But yeah, we don't want them. Why not just get that ticket money yeah if you're a ghost you gotta what would you pay it with they don't even take a seat yeah exactly they're just floating around so really we could sell space that's good yeah like so it's like 1a above 1a yeah no david lucas says uh i won't give away

his bit he has the best bit on yeah ghost he goes he goes man i don't believe in this ghost shit man because if there's ghosts they'd be like updated ghosts he's like like there'd be some Lucas says, I won't give away his best bit on ghosts. He goes, man, I don't believe in this ghost shit, man, because if there was ghosts, they'd be like updated ghosts. He's like, there'd be some ghosts from early 2000s. Instead of boo, they'd be like, you. Oh, that's funny. That's funny. So you still do it.

Well, no, no. No, there's a whole bit. Yeah, it's great. He goes, I don't want to ruin his bit. I gave his punchline. No, he has a whole bit on here it is it's great

no it's great how about we just right now at that moment just cut to David Lucas doing a bit yeah yeah yeah I love it

I don't think it's out though no it's not he just ruined it we'll just have him do it in the studio we'll just bring him in live do your bit do your bit

you know where I was this weekend my hometown Belco and that's my North Star right yeah you shoved in my face I did you shoved in my face because I'm from there I know I shoved in my face, right? I did. I did. You shoved in my face.

Because I'm from there. I know. I shoved in your face. And I grew up walking by there, you know, Tommy works. Where is that? Denver, Colorado. That's my... Oh, did you do a...

You did a theater out there or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now that I gave you, right? I let you come to my hometown. You gave me your blessing. Oh, okay. Yeah, right? Because I have the key to the city, right?

Oh, wow. And when you go there, you got to check in, right? Yeah. I guess so. You know how gangsters have to check in? Yeah. You come to LA, you come to Atlanta, you got to know how gangsters have to check in you come to LA you come to Atlanta

you gotta check in you gotta check in with daddy right and I allowed you okay look I didn't take 10% like usual no I know

but I'm just saying now my mama couldn't come yeah she couldn't come she said she was gonna come she couldn't come she broke her leg she asked for 17 tickets and then didn't come

she could've had them she could've had them I got you hooked up 17 tickets and free merch and then her legs she asked for 17 tickets no she asked for a bunch though

that would be crazy I've had that happen have you had family do that She sent me tickets and free merch, and then her legs. She asked for 17 tickets? No, not 17. She asked for a bunch, though. That would be crazy. I've had that happen. Have you had family do that? I had a family. I had the most I ever was. One of my family members wanted 20 tickets. And I was like, that's eight grand. Yeah, 100%.

No, but they're like, what? What's wrong with that? What the hell? What? Is that some VIP? No, it's not eight grand. But like, you know, it's not eight grand but like you know it's like i i've had a buddy i he's a friend of a friend and he came here and legit like straight up

multi multi multi million crushing it multi-million my tickets are 20 bucks right right right and he texts me hey man great to meet you hey can you put me on the list for 12 tickets tonight yeah it's just it's $20 you're a millionaire right yeah yeah millionaire it's just for him i would never do that i wouldn't either but he you know for him it's just it's been happening so long and he's just like i don't want to have to click on the thing and do the thing have your assistant set it up i know i know i know no a lot of times it's about like people want to feel special that's what it is yeah yeah it really is more about that yeah yeah they want to feel like they want to feel like that's what it is yeah yeah it really is more about that yeah yeah they want to feel like they want to feel like i know chris right right right right he got me in right but do

you have those guys who are like yo man i had to have to deal with this last weekend yo man uh i'm gonna come through to the to the green room before the show i'm like no no no no yeah after i'll meet you after yeah i don't know i actually hate especially when i know people and they go hey can i come to the show I can't stand that I'm going to tell you why because all of a sudden they become like they have no brain

because it will be like this day of the show where do we park is it dress up is jeans okay I'm here I don't know where to Like hey

Hey You're an adult Yeah Okay Like if Like if you're going to go see Say a Tom Cruise movie Yeah yeah yeah

You just go to the theater Yeah yeah You're not texting You're not texting Tom Like hey Yeah I'm at the I'm at the Cineplex

Yeah yeah yeah You're texting Roland Emmerich Hey how do I get into this Fucking Yeah What was that movie Yeah you got stupid friends Day after tomorrow

You got stupid friends My favorite favorite favorite thing Is like You get off stage Say you're at a club You get off stage hey how do I get into this fucking what was that movie Day After Tomorrow my favorite favorite favorite thing is like you get off stage say you're at a club you get off stage then your friend is there like hey man

and you're like oh I didn't know you were coming yeah I don't want to bother you man oh that's great oh you bought merch I would have given it to you nah I would have gave it to you I go like this

dude thank you so much bro and I kiss him bro because I love that motherfucker yeah me too thanks dude yeah that dick there's a dick yeah um why is it way over here i don't know big big monster like he does that hentai if i did this yeah like you have to you get you get the base yeah and then you just have the the whole shaft is just kind of like he's got right he's holding it it's like

one of these it's like the hentai ones you you know what I mean? Do you know what that is? With like the monster. You ever watch a monster where it's like. Yeah, but what I'm saying is this. The sensitivity part is here. But he's working it and he doesn't want to explode immediately. You trust your mouth skill. Yeah, bro.

Oh, dude, he didn't even hold it. He holds them like this. No, I hold the hips like this. Yeah, yeah, that's what I just said, bro. You hold the hips like this and you just work that mouth, dude. No, I do this. No, I hold the hips like this. Yeah, yeah. That's what I just said, bro. You hold the hips like this and you just work that mouth, dude. No, I do this. That's awesome. He's doing push-ups, bro.

Dude, he's laying on his back. He's going to work out. He's laying on his back. He's just pushing him up like this. Dude, working it, man. Swole. That's great. Indian rug burn.

Ew. Ew, but, you know, nice. Take a break. Let's take a little break, boys, from just chatting about nonsense with each other. Let's talk about something real. I'm in Milwaukee tonight and tomorrow. You have a bunch of shows coming up. You got Boston, right?

Yeah. Doing some arenas, theaters. Yeah, where are you going with this? And then you got San Diego. And then you're at the Wise Guys in Vegas. Yeah. Locals come see you. Yeah, where are you going with this?

Well, I'm just saying is this Saturday, UFC 281 is live from New York, Mad Square Garden. This freaking Saturday, get closer to the octagon with DraftKings Sportsbook, the official sports betting partner of the UFC. Right now, new customers can bet $5 on any UFC 281. What, you got $5 back? Dude, $200 in free bets if your fighter wins. Yep, check this out.

Hold your wieners. Okay. Check this out. Right now, everyone can earn up to 100% boost with DraftKings stepped-up parlays. Go to DraftKings Sportsbook app, place a parlay today with three or more picks. Combine multiple bets like which fighter will win, total rounds, and more. Like, Eric, I've been telling you about fighting, dude. Izzy and Alex Pierce fighting this week.

I think I might have to get on that. You can bet on the favorites. Parlay the favorites. I've actually used DraftKings with my buddies for fantasy football. We do that. So DraftKings is great for that stuff. Yep. And if you want to create a parley and bet on the favorites, you can bet on Dustin Poirier, you can bet on Izzy, you can bet on

Zhang Weilei. Alright? And then you make more money. DraftKings Sportsbooks is where all of us go. Download DraftKings Sportsbooks app right now. Use promo code K-A-T-S. Throw down $5 on UFC 281 and get $ 200 in free bets if your fighter wins that's code kats this saturday at draft king's sports book the official sports betting partner of ufc minimum age and eligibility restrictions apply see show notes for details

let's give them one more read and then we'll get back to the program that you guys all know and love. It's called the Golden Hour. Whether you're looking to pop the question to your man or your missus, you have to make it special. It has to sparkle. That's where my friends at Blue Nile can help you make your celebrations so much better. As the original online jeweler, Blue Nile offers the largest selection of independently graded diamonds and pieces priced significantly below traditional retailers. Blue Nile has helped millions of couples create their perfect engagement ring. Their easy online tools let you choose the diamond shape, size, and clarity, as well

as setting style. Blue Nile's bench jewelers will help you handcraft her perfect one-of-a-kind engagement ring. All right, shop stress-free with Blue Nile's 100% satisfaction guarantee. All Blue Nile orders are insured and shipped for free in the discreet little package. Doesn't give away the surprise. They also offer overnight shipping if you're in a rush. All right? My girl got two diamond rose rings.

I gave one to her. I gave one to my mother-in-law. They love them. Very sweet. Boy, I bet they were happy and you can make your loved ones happy too. Make your moment sparkle with Blue Nile. Go to BlueNile.com and use code CATS to save $50 on your purchase of $500 or more.

That's B-L-U-E-N-I-L-E.com code CATS to save $50 on your purchase of $500 or more. BlueNile.com. Code CATS. Usually it's with Eric, but you know what? We're going to switch it up. Yeah. It's freaky Friday.

So should I drink? Yeah, if you want some. No. Okay. You don't drink? No. Me neither, baby. Nothing ever?

No. Nobody. I know you. Never. No, he's good No. Me neither, baby. Never? Nothing ever? No. Nobody? I know you. Never? No, he's good. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. It's all right.

Nothing? No drugs? You ever had a little Adderall? A little Coke? A little booger sugar? No. No, that's stupid. Coffee?

Yeah, coffee. Coffee. That's the drug of choice. All right. But I will say, in the last few years, I did try a CBD vape. But at most, it was like a 4-1 mix. It had THC in it? Yeah, that's like 15%.

Oh, there's fentanyl in there for sure. You try fentanyl. No. Yep. Dude, you ever see those videos of the cops that are like, let's see what we got here? You know what's fake? You know what's fake? You know what's fake?

That's an urban myth. Oh, I've seen the videos. Like fentanyl, that's fake you know it's fake you know you know it's fake that's that's a that's a urban myth oh i see the fentanyl it's fake like the cops that when they grab the fentanyl then they say if it touches your skin you know the past it doesn't work like that that's a myth well more people would be dying fact check with brendan hit it nick that's fine but i've i've facts that's fine okay but also my father-in-law was a cop for 30 years. I understand, but 30 years, and fentanyl's new, and then also you're spreading misinformation, and fentanyl's going to kill people. You're directly responsible now for the people who die who take fentanyl.

Oh, wow. There we go. And we're going to get restricted for this episode, and that's fine. But just so you know that that's what's happening— I like the Kif fit today, dude. Thank you, and you're Alex Jones. I have no part of this when he gets sued for a billion dollars. I saw a viral video of this girl.

She's at Starbucks. And then I don't know if she worked there or not. But then the guy's like, yeah, your boyfriend's been coming every day in the drive-thru with another woman. Hater. And now they got her in the drive-thru. And she hears. She's like, oh, can I help you? And he's like, hey, baby, do you want anything?

And then they pull up. And she's like, oh, can I help you? And he's like, hey, baby, do you want anything? And then they pull up and she's like so mad and she has that water and the whipped cream and she leans in and she's like, there it is right there. She's like, hi! And she throws the water at them. You want extra whipped cream? And she sprays it. Oh, wow.

But here's the thing about it. The dude, the way he's acting, I was like, this is fake. Chin has a good radar for this because I always think things are real. I was like, oh, the dude's not. The dude, he's a bad actor. Let's see. I don't believe it. What?

Is this the full thing? Because it starts when she's throwing the ice. This is just the intro, but they showed a whole thing. Oh, got you, got you. It's a hook. Yeah, it's a hook. I've seen too much First 48. Can you smell this stuff out?

The other thing is it's ice water instead of hot coffee because she was really pissed. It'd be hot coffee. Well, I mean, he asked for water. So she's like, you know. Nah, but it don't matter. You get what I'm saying. I'm with you, man. That's what I'm saying is like you go, ooh, I like this.

This is really interesting seeing people in the wild be crazy. And then you go the way the guy was like, babe, it's not what you think. I was like, oh, you're terrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just don't say anything. Just don't say anything. Yeah, you would have made a mistake. But people are idiots and they'll believe it anyway. What girl?

What is she? Oh, I can already tell it's fake. Is that him? Is that him? Can I do it? Oh, that's him, girl. Put it on me. Put it on me.

I don't know who it's from. I don't know who it's from. I don't know who it's from. Okay. This is already fake. You can tell. Right, Jen? So fake.

It's fake. Okay, am I right? Hi, welcome to Starbucks. What can I get you? Oh, and she just knows what to say after that? Well, so fake. Okay, am I right? Hi, welcome to Starbucks. What can I get you? Oh, and she just knows what to say after that? Well, like, why is she wearing the outfit? I think she works there. If she works there, it's his girlfriend.

He wouldn't go to that one. I can't see her. I can't see her face. Boom! Duh. That's like the... Duh. God, dude.

It's just like... That alone blew me away, dude. Also, she's way too hot to be working at Starbucks. She's like, can I take your order? Skip to the end where she sees and gets mad, because then you can really see how bad this guy is acting. Well, it's not what you think. Are you going to do this?

Why is he British? You're not throwing hot coffee into a banana loaf, Adam. Sir. Man. Hi. Hi. a banana loaf at him. Sir. Man. Hi. Hi. Yeah. No, wait.

Yeah. Oh, so bad. So bad. No, wait. No, wait. For sure. Some extra whip. Drive away, dude.

I'm going to leave the window down. You need to drive away. Oh, there I am. That's cool. What I don't, I don't like that video. And it's fake. That's what I'm saying, man. Chris smelled it in the heart.

It was immediate, yeah. But it's just like, come on. Eric was dumb for a little bit and then figured it out and that's fine. No, I just was like, you were on the fence, I feel like. No, no, this is.

Honestly, Brendan would still believe it if he were. No, wait, wait. If we didn't bring it up. It's like, you're watching a show like. Brendan would be like, is that a documentary? You'd be watching a show

like American Idol. Is that the shortest documentary of all time? Well, what episode of the miniseries that's real on Netflix is that of on that one? Okay, go ahead. You're watching a show like American Idol. Is that the shortest documentary of all time? Well, what episode of the miniseries that's real on Netflix is that of on that one? Okay, go ahead. You're watching a show like American Idol or something, right? And then there'll be like this thing where they're getting like a ticket to go to the show, right?

Yeah. And then it's like the door opens. Yeah. And then the guy's like, oh, wow. But like the camera's in your place. I know, I know, I know. You know that this is happening. I know that's so annoying. When that kind of stuff happens, I just go, oh, come on, like the camera's in your place. I know, I know, I know. Like, you know that this is happening. I know, that's so annoying.

When that kind of stuff happens, I just go, oh, come on, man. Are people really behind this? Yeah, I think some idiots are, yeah. And those people, honestly, those are the people that go to fucking Theo's show. Stupid. And we just lost another one today, man. We just lost 20,000 followers. No, no, fuck off.

Enjoy that hate, Chris. No, I love Theo, and you know that. But yeah. And he will be a guest on Golden Hour, right? Yeah, we did. I did a show with Theo last Thursday or something at the Laugh Factory. It was good to see him. It was me, him, Trevor Wallace, and who else?

I don't know. Good show. Kyle Varney. Kyle was there, yeah kyle was there yeah taking pictures uh yep before trevor right and then yeah and then he's going on tour with trevor and then he's going with trevor now yeah and i met his uncle i think trevor's a cow no kyle's uncle he introduced him as his mom's husband so i maybe not uncle, but yeah, right there. He's not ready to say dad yet.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I told him he's going to be coming to the show in Cincinnati, that dude. And also just – can I put this out there? Oh, yeah, Casey Fry was there, yeah. What? R.I.P. to Brian Moreno. Oh, yeah. That's sad, yeah.

That's sad. I don't even know what happened. I don't even know what happened. I don't even know what happened. I just saw it. I don't know enough to speak on it. Is it weird when I hear when people pass away, I always go, what happened? Is that bad? No.

Well, you just kind of want, you know. He was young. It's a morbid thing, too. 40 years old. Well, my thing was like, oh, like my first instinct is like, was he shot at like the laugh act or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it affects everybody, right?

But if it's something darker, you know. Yeah. And I don't. He was in his car. I think we asked that because we want to know what level of sadness we want to be yes there's something morbid about it it's like you know you you want to go like well what happened then you find out well it's like he drowned we're like oh yeah you know like then you want to know like he was saving the world oh oh yeah right it's a level of like you know how many kids is he leaving behind that kind of stuff

we just all this really sad man good guy saw him a lot at the gym uh and saw him a lot doing spots How many kids is he leaving behind? That kind of stuff. Really sad, man. Good guy. Saw him a lot at the gym and saw him a lot doing spots around town. And he was very best friends with one of my best friends. And it's just sad. Yeah, it's a bummer. I'm not going to be that guy that pretends I know him really well. Well, I didn't know him really well. I would see him around every now and then.

He's always nice to me. Nice guy. I don't know him very well. It's a bummer. I'm going to bring it down. No, no, no. We should speak on that. You guys don't believe in ghosts anyway.

Well, if there is, Brian, what's up? Brendan, are you a religious person? Have you... What ghosts? What ghosts have you... Have you ever experienced a ghost?

This is the thing. You talk to Bobby Lee and he's like, I saw a ghost upside down in the comedy store window one time and I'm like, Bobby,

no, you didn't. No, you didn't. No, you didn't. No, we – Comedy store is so haunted. Oh, my. Oh, my. You can smell the ghost. What are we talking about right now?

Is there fentanyl in that, man? What are you talking – there's no ghosts. There might be. How? Like, I can't stand that kind of – listen. The only thing – Are you religious, though? I'm more spiritual than I say I am religious.

Oh, spiritual. Okay, now we head somewhere. Spiritual how? religious i'm more spiritual than i say i'm religious oh spiritual okay now we head somewhere spiritual how it's just that i do believe that like this this isn't all on accident i fucking hope not man you know i fucking i swear to god dude i will be so pissed after i die if there's nothing it's just like i will be so angry man dude i am i wanted i wanted like i was always like i don't want to be. When I was a kid, I was like, I'll be religious enough that just in case there is nothing afterwards, I won't be pissed off. Like, do I believe in God? Okay.

But not so much to where I go to church every week and then I die. And then I'm like, for fuck's sake, I could have been jacking off on Sundays. Here's the problem, though. The flip side of that, what if you get to the big pearly gates? He's like, bro, you can go to church once. I feel like that's actually a philosophical argument in philosophy. It's like a bet. I'm serious.

No, I'm not. It's a bet. Live a good life. Pascal's wager. Pascal's wager. Thank you. I don't like that. life yeah pascal's wager pascal's wager thank you and that you know that if you uh so you live a good life in the event that you get to the pearly gates and you're like you're like you should have

done this you know but you should do right dude if you're living a good life to get into heaven piece of shit you got to live a good life because you want to live a good life and you feel like that's a good thing don't assault me but. But we need, but people are, human beings need to understand. That's why they come up with this stuff. Yes. They need to understand. They also need to live for an elevated reason. We're not just animals doing what we want all the time.

But a religion provides for that. Now, me, five years ago, that's what I was doing. However, you have to. Yeah, it's like, he's going to get to the prologue. He's going to be like, However, you have to. Yeah, it's like, he's going to get to the Prodigy so he's going to be like,

ooh, just a second. Too late. It's like when you go to TSA and they got to be like, we got to, Chris has got to go through the other one.

And then be like, Brendan, you have the clear pass. Brendan has the clear pass. Go ahead. Ooh, you don't have clear. Brendan,

Eric, you guys are on clear pass. TSA approved. Go ahead. Chris, can we talk for a second? Brendan, you don't have clear either. Brendan, Chris, you don't have clear.

Yeah, they're going to be like, what is this, a bottle? You can't take this whole bottle. Go to the right. There's people over here. It's you and Theo and me. I'm just like, boy, this is fantastic. I don't want to be in that nerd group. Theo is always like, you know, I don't even know, honestly, if I need, I want to figure

out all this stuff about heaven before I even get in, honestly. I need to understand. Theo, how much it costs, man? But yeah, so, yeah, I don't know. But that's what I'm saying. Like, you know. You need to live, we need to live for, and it's fucking hard, you know. It's really hard to live outside yourself.

I remember I was taking a class. Because I went to Mount St. Mary's. I was going to adult college. So I had a different life plan. Adult college? Yeah, yeah. It was like. For porn, like adult porn.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyways, because it was. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Today we're working on. It was a Catholic school. So I took a class. But it was called The History of the Bible. Oh, wow. So boring.

A lot of people had to leave the class because they couldn't handle hearing what these people were talking about, the actual Bible. Like actual facts, like breaking it down? Yeah, like being like, whoa. Not just faith. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was about the history of the book itself. And when people started to hear that history, they were like, oh, no, no, no, no. I don't want to hear this.

Because then you start to realize, like, oh, the Moors had it. And, you know, I went here, and it's like, like these are just stories and they took things out put things in over the years told over 30,000 years so the people kind of like it's shook their faith you know yeah which they don't like they don't like but religion is good because it gives people like a structure like a playbook to live a good life my mom always wanted to go to church on the big days and i get it you want to feel like you're connected you want big days. You want to go on Mother's Day and stuff like that. And I get it. You want to feel like you're connected. You want to feel faith. You want to hear the stories. I'll go on Easter.

I'll go on Easter. Do you take your kids? Do you go on Sundays to go to church? Absolutely not. No, absolutely not. No, we don't do that. I do my own church.

I wake up and I fucking say, gather around. Anyone can come. It's mostly just me standing in the room. It's a cult though. Everybody gets life rips. It's just me.

That's how they get in. He lays someone down and they put the life rips on their belly. I should get a life rips tattoo. Mr. Ru walks out That's how they get in. He lays someone down and he can put the life rips on their belly. I should get a life rips tattoo. Mr. Ru walks out. Do you know how many people fucking come to my shows and ask me to sign life rips and they're going to get the thing next day? Now, I'm not going to pretend I'm at your level, but we're getting a good amount.

You can ask Mark over. We're getting a good amount of thick boy donut tattoos. Are you really? Yeah. I send it to you every time. So I send three of them. I know. There was a dude that came to my show and he was like, dude, I procrastinated on the Life Rips merch.

And he was like, but I got this. And it was the Thick Boy Flannel. It was cool. Oh, sick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe you should make some like. I punched him right out. Some fake.

That was the guy that got stabbed. And you stabbed him. You should sign. Do a sign of Life Rips, you doing it. Then make like a fake tattoo thing. That people can put on on and then they can actually get a tattoo. My merch guy actually fucking asked me about that. He was like, you should do it. I gotta hit up

this guy again. I told you. Alright, so do we have guys? I wanna get the woo woo woos. You know? Well, I think we might do a Golden Hour Ugly Christmas Sweater for our first merch show. That would be great. You like that? Daddy's digging here. I did that with the No Dents one.

Chris and Brendan had a baby. Wow, look at this dude. This guy's Gandalf early years. Oh, that's Jason Momoa's stepbrother. No, this is Gandalf. That's Jason No Noah. All right. I know.

Theo's not here. Someone's got to do those. I'll cut it. All right. No, clip it. Fuck that. Clip this. This is when they remake it.

We need Theo's fans back. They remake it with the ethnic choice. Yeah, exactly. Fellas, loving the new show. Long time fan of all three of you guys. Chris, I actually went to high school with your cousin, Evan. Wow. Maybe I'll cut his name out.

I don't know. No, it's okay. Real name? Kids are right. Anyways. Kids are right. I got a new segment idea for you guys it's called whom do i look like too easy and i need you guys to uh do me a favor use your imagination a little bit pretend

so he's gonna give three options first of all if he shaved his head isis right but with the long hair and good skin he would he looks like a little Jason Momoa. So he's going to give us what? I think you guys should guess, but he's going to give three options of who he looks like. But before he gives the options, who he has been told. Got it. Okay. He's a handsome dude. Well, this is a lot. You can also tell a lot by a person by who they will say they think that people say they look like.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? Because Brad Pitt and I are like yeah yeah twins yeah 100 so you have a huge ego and but my point is yeah i know i know i know so so so if this guy's like people telling me i look like jason momoa you gotta be like you gotta let those go if you're that guy right but if you're that guy and you're like, yeah, okay, cool. And then you're like, you know, people tell me

I look like Jason Momoa. Yeah, that's weird. And then you got props, right? You gotta pick an ugly doppelganger. So I'm gonna go with this guy is going to tell us that people tell him that he looks like Jason Momoa.

Too easy. Jason Momoa all day. That's what I think. But do I think he looks like Jason Momoa? No. Jason no Noah. No Noah? No Noah.

Jason no Noah. Jason no Noah. So what? No Noah. Jason No Noah. Jason No Noah. So what do you guys think? Yeah. Jason Momoa all day. I'm more handsome, and then my beard is well-groomed. That is a good beard. All right.

So the three options I'm going to give you guys of who I look like are Roman Reigns, Steven Adams, or Jason Momoa? Who's Stephen Adams? Stephen Adams is a basketball player. He does look like Stephen Adams. I want to see Stephen Adams. But Roman Reigns is the WWE superstar. Oh, he does look like that.

Yeah, a little bit. A little bit. A little bit. I'd say more than Momoa. So he wants to know. He's asking us who he gets the most. Oh, go to the Roman Reigns on the top left. Roman Reigns if he was, yeah.

Roman Reigns if he got off steroids. Roman Reigns if he was on chemotherapy. Yeah. He'd have no hair, but yeah. Well, I don't think. I mean, no, I don't think. I think Jason Momoa. I think he's going to say.

Steven Adams. Oh, that. Ooh. Now, unfortunately for him. These guys are all sexy. That's the ugliest one out of the three. No way. This guy's fucking good looking. Hold on.

Hold on. Hold on. Dude, his forehead. He's 7'7", and his forehead is from the cave day. Dude, his forehead looks like it's a trunk opening. I like forehead guys. I like forehead guys. There's a squint.

Wait, wait. Do you see him at the meetings? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a high doorway. No, you see him at the meetings? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a high doorway. No, you see him at the headbutt convention? That's how they say hello. No, they just dig out under the doorway. That's how we get in.

He has a spoiler on his eyebrow. No, he does look like him a little more. And unfortunately, he's the ugliest one. But also, he's not. You're 7'7". Nobody's attractive at seven seven a hundred percent correct your shoes look the fashion which ridiculous the cars are too gangly and stupid looking when i see the fucking basketball players come in every every week to their games and shit and they're in like the cool shit they have like the jordan's with their size 18 but i'm saying it's fine big digs

like like when when it's all relative when they're all standing with each other, it's fine. What gets me is you have the basketball player and then you see his hot girl and she's 5'11". He looks like he could hide her in his anus. She's 5'7". She's eye level with his dick. It's just hair all the time. No, I disagree with they're fine. They look gangly and stupid as shit.

They just look awkward. Basketball players got to wear just hoodies and big jeans. That's it. No, it depends on the person, man. Skinny jeans. No, LeBron looks like a fucking. Are you kidding me? LeBron James is an autonomous specimen.

He has some style. I understand that. But 6'7 is fine. 6'7 is fine. No, no, no. I'm saying his body looks all right. Like when Shaq was like at his prime, that dude was 6'7", 3", with 3% body fat. Well.

Now he looks like a big, you know what I mean? I know what you're saying. But I'm saying like when you're that, somebody that looked gangly. Like Kevin Durant looked crazy. Kevin Durant looked bad. But Kevin Durant can look dope in a hoodie. Remember Stacey Augman? Yes.

I actually do. But there's guys like Ben Simmons who dress pretty fly, even though they're gay. But he's like 6'8". And then there's guys. Then also Russell Westbrook looks pretty dope with his fashion. Yeah, but he's gangly as shit. No, Russell Westbrook's like 6'5".

How about DeAndre Jordan? All right, take it easy. He's a. I know, name drop. Name drop. How many times did you drop a UFC? They're not famous. They are famous.

Not really. In your world, they're famous. All right, look, man. Who's this guy look like? Fucking, I said Jason Momoa. I mean, he dropped Mario Lopez the other day.

Yeah, I know Mario Lopez. Yeah, I know. You were dressing up with Mario Lopez in your area. No, we didn't fucking, you know. It was like,

Chris. Yeah. I know a lot of famous people, man. What did he do? What happened? Was it like one of those Yeah. Remember? I know a lot of famous people, man. What did he do? What happened? Was it like one of those? Yeah. Straight transformer.

How do you do that? I'm a sound effects guy. Yeah, that's good. You don't rely on it, though. I like that. All right. So Jason Momoa. I mean, this guy.

The audience right now is like, can we get to the fucking guy? No, the audience says, Jason Momoa, you idiot. All right, let's see. He texted the answer. He said, Jason Momoa. He's got an ego. Too easy. Oh, he thinks he looks, Jason Momoa, you idiot. All right, let's see. He texted the answer. He said Jason Momoa. He's got an ego. Too easy. Oh, he thinks he looks like Jason Momoa?

No, he thinks that people tell him the most that he looks like Jason Momoa. But people do that like they don't know. He thinks he does. He looks at the mirror a lot. Sometimes he's like. I understand. He's got an ego. People tell me all the time I look like Keanu Reeves.

I think Keanu Reeves is very handsome. But I'm not going to be like, oh, people tell me I look like Keanu Reeves. Because I don't fucking think. I think Keanu Reeves is like handsome, but I'm not going to be like, oh, people tell me I look like Keanu Reeves because I don't fucking think. I think Keanu Reeves is like badass and I'm like this fucking silly comedian. Nobody tells you that. All the time. All the time. Are they blind? But they're blind, right? All the time. They tell me all the time. Not a chance.

Okay, last time I got that was Adam Ray's wedding. It was a week ago. From Adam Ray. No, he was joking. Which was a really great time. It was awesome, yeah. But I look just like at Adam Ray's wedding. It was a week ago. From Adam Ray. No. He was joking. Which was a really great time. It was awesome, yeah. But I looked just like fucking... Look at that.

He went up at the laugh back. Do you know the guy with the canneries right there? That's Chris. Yeah. That does look like... I don't know why that fucking trips me up. He was just like... He had like four full seconds before he started laughing. There was a full second where I was like, wait, did... Oh, that's trips me up. He was just like. He had like four full seconds before he started laughing.

There was a full second where I was like, wait, did. Oh, that's a deep fake. I just thought Keanu Reeves went up. I mean, I could see. But I'm saying. I thought he went up. No, no, no. He's the type of guy that would be like, I want to do some comedy.

No, dude. Yes, he is. No, he seems to kind of shy on that stuff. You know what I would get all the time? Aaron Hernandez. Have you? Well, you look just like him. Oh, you look like him. Murder those guys. You know what I would get all the time? Aaron Hernandez. Have you? Well, you look just like him. Oh, you look like him.

Murder, though. Do you know when you're in a franchise and they offer you $40 million to do a movie? Okay, why is he Bill and Ted? What's that? What? That's a handsome murder. That's you, dude. Handsome murder.

Yeah. Gay man, though. He's gay, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So are you. Whoa.

It's okay. Whoa. We get out. It's okay, but you're gay. And you're a bottom. A huge bottom. No. You're an aggressive bottom. but you're gay. And you're a bottom. A huge bottom. You're an aggressive bottom. You fight back as a bottom.

Chris, I do. He's still, he's still doing it. You think you're doing it? He's the bottom, but he's still the, like,

the aggressive alpha. Alpha bottom. He goes right there. Cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And the other guy's just like, I don't know. That hurts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the other guy's just like, I don't know. That hurts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chris is like, you're pushing too hard. Wait, Nick, are you saying you look like Cheddar Bob? Alpha bottom. I got this text this weekend.

It's hilarious. That's you. And someone said, Cheddar Bob reminds me of retarded Nick Davis. Yeah, that's you. I'm glad they added the retarded part because I've been told I just look like Cheddar Bob. Got it. So you're moving up. Cheddar Rob. I think right there, that's you Got it. So you're moving up. Yeah. Cheddar Rob.

I think right there, that's you when I tell you you're fired. Right there. Yeah. Wait, Alpha Bottom's a good title. Alpha Bottom? Alpha Bottom's pretty funny. That's today's episode. Yeah, Alpha Bottom.

Alpha Bottom. All right. Hey, guys. Do you have a question or a sour or power? Do you want to be on the show? You want to be on the show. Do you want to be on the show? You got a new segment? Yeah.

Now, where can they send submissions for all this fun stuff, fellas? Well, I'm going to tell you right now. But the thing is, I'm going to make you wait a little bit. And here's the reason. Because Nick has to type it out and then make it bigger on the screen so I can read it. Oh, there it is. The golden hoursubs at gmail.com. We need your submissions.

So send in your stuff and do it and get on the show, and then we'll have fun and either humor you or rip you a new one. Yep, make it good. That's thegoldenhoursubs at gmail.com. We appreciate you guys and look forward to it. Thanks. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. UFC 281 is live from New York this Saturday.

It's going to be a doozy. Get closer to the octagon with DraftKings Sportsbook, the official sports betting partner of UFC. Look, right now, new customers can bet $5 on UFC 281. And you're probably like, Chris, what's that mean? Right? You bet $5, you get $5 back. But no, that's not what happens.

If you bet $5, you get $200 in free bets if your fighter wins. And I'm just like, what? Okay, check this out. Right now, everyone can earn up to a 100% boost with DraftKings stepped-up parlays. Go to DraftKings Sportsbook app, place a parlay today with three or more

picks, and combine multiple bets, like which fighter will win total rounds and more! And you know this, Chris. I don't even tell you or Eric this. You can bet on the favorites. Dustin, Poirier, Wele. You bet on my boy Petroski. You can bet on Izzy. Partly the four of them, you make him bank, bro. All you gotta do

is download the DraftKings Sportsbook app right now. Use promo code K-A-T-S. Throw down $5 on UFC 281 and get $200 in free bets if your fighter wins. That's code KATS this Saturday. Matt Square Garden at DraftKings Sportsbook, the official sports partner of the UFC. Minimum

age eligibility restrictions apply. See show notes for details. Now let's get back to the freaking program. But imagine you're in jail and there's an alpha bottom. What's worse? How about like, what's worse? How about this?

But what's worse? A guy like, you know, like put you down. Yeah. But if he goes, he goes, get it. Yeah. That is. I think that's worse. That's mental warfare.

Yeah. That's mental warfare. I don't know. You come in your cell and he's just on all fours. He looks back at you. Yeah. And he goes, you got work to do. Get in here. Even worse, dude. Do work. in your cell, and he's just on all fours, and he looks back at you, and he goes, you got work to do. Get in here. Even worse, dude.

Do work. He sits you down, and he's just like, so you're going to have to fuck me. It's going to be intense. I think it's worse. Just so fucked up. You're going to have to fuck me, and you're going to have to do that, and I'm going to sit here, and you're going to do all the work. You're going to have to get yourself going.

And those are the rules. There you go. I'm going to turn around, and I'm going to wait. Get hard. I'm going to open up my butt. That those are the rules. There you go. I'm going to turn around, and I'm going to wait. Get hard. I'm going to open up my butt. That would fuck me up. Yeah, especially because he gives you a Viagra, too. Well, I'd shank him, right, from behind.

He'd blow his ass up, face down. No, but he has so much mental warfare on you that he's just like, you're not going to shank me. That's real dominance. That's why you guys want to do get in prison. Dude, that's real dominance. The real dominance is when somebody goes hey yeah fuck me yeah yeah yeah but have you there's guys in prisons like no it's not gay man what do you

think yeah yeah from your gang days is this like a i never even thought of that but that sounds freaking terrifying yeah what if that's how you had to get into the gang you had to like you know that leader yeah the leader is like and you better put it down. Interesting gang, huh? Yeah. Oh, that's a gay gang. What up, Alpha Bottoms? Or they walk in the food court. That's the Alpha Bottoms. Woo! Yeah, yeah.

They walk in backwards. I see merch in our future. They walk in backwards. They moonwalk into the fucking. Hey, what's up? It's the Alpha Bottoms. Oh, no. Here come the Alpha Bottoms.

And they're just athletes. And they come in like this. They got to come in like this. Yeah, yeah. West Side Story. Now they're really gay. They they come in like this. They got to come in like this. Yeah, yeah. West Side Story. Now they're really gay. They're singing. Oh, man.

This is kind of dope. I want in. I'll do it. Oh, here's my boy, Aljo. So you guys don't know UFC. He's the bantamweight champion of the world. He used to be TJ Dillashaw. Before that, he'd be Peter Yan.

He's a New York kid. It's like he's doing well. Nice chain. Oh, no, he's crushing it. Shoes are nice. Number, I mean, world champion. I'm not with torn jeans. Great guy.

I don't understand torn jeans. He's on food truck. It's out right now. First of all, your knees are atrocious. I got good knees. Your knees should never be out, okay? Your knees look like a broken watermelon. It's popping.

You know what I mean? Like you took, like Gallagher. Your knees look like Gallagher is doing a show. Like you took, like Gallagher, your knees look like Gallagher is doing a show. Like that is, like look at his knees. Let me ask you this. Look at that.

Shred City, brother. Oh man, your knees. You on a diet there? Yeah, I was fucking killing it. Damn, you're Shredville. First team all Shredville. Yeah. Oof.

I'll get there again. What that digger do, baby? Wow, your knees are way fatter now. Hey, let me ask you this about skinny jeans, though. You were into fashion. Take a break, right? Hit the showers, fellas. Eric. With skinny jeans, they're out, right? They're not cool anymore.

What are you going to do? I don't know. I actually, my other jeans were packed and I was like, these are skinny, but I don't know. But I'm not going baggy. As our size, we can't wear baggy. I have ones that are not baggy. I don't like how you're trying to have a conversation without turning your back on me. That's not baggy, but it's good.

Come on, now. I wear, you know. Eric's been in with the baggy jeans. Yeah. What are you talking about? He's fashion forward. Dude, all right. Let's see what's up.

I guess burn your skinny jeans, guys. What's up, guys? It's your boy, Aljamain, about? He's fashion forward. Dude, all right, let's see what's up. I guess burn your skinny jeans, guys. What's up, guys? It's your boy, Aljamain, the phone master Sterling. I got Jamaican heritage, in case you didn't know. So I got a question for you guys. I want you to rate these three Jamaicans. We got Sean Paul, B and Iman, and Chad Hanks. Let me know what you guys think.

And of course, I want to say congrats on the new show to the Golden Hour. If you didn't know, I got my own show called The Weekly Scraps. You guys can check that out on all streaming platforms. Thanks for tuning in. Let's check his show out. We got to check his show out. It's a fight show. Yeah, he's great, man.

Really good dude. Weekly Scraps. Dude, Beanie Man? I don't know who that is. I know Chet Hanks, and I'm voting for him, right? Chet Hanks. I got two Jamaicans better than that. Bob Marley?

First one is the dude from Belly, the movie Belly. What is it? I know the movie. The dude, the Jamaican in that movie? I don't remember. Oh, man, dude. That dude is like, you know, boom-ba-clop. Oh, great.

He's like one of those guys. And the other one is that one Steven Seagal movie. Which one? Which one? The Steven Seagal movie. Did the guy die? Oh, that's terrible. But he was great.

He dies in a car crash. That guy was a badass. Brian Marino, say hi to him. And then, where's the ghost? He's here now. Tell him to shave that mustache. And the dude from the Steven Seagal movie, Marked for Death. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That guy was white boy hacha. Oh, yeah. I remember that. I'm too young. And then also, what about Shabba Runks is my favorite one. Shabba Runks. Shabba. Yeah.

Flex. Time to have sex. Oh, my God. I like that. I think that's Mad Cobra. Yeah, your Jamaican accent is just. What? Flex.

What? Dude. Flex. Time to have sex. That's good, dude. No, it's... It's a very peanut butter falcon Rastafarian. Yeah, that's terrible.

Well, fucking no, it's not, dude. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's like... That's like... Here you go, the movie on the area. Word them up. Still living like that.

Oh, I like that. Wait, wait. I like that. Nick bobbing his head. He's not going to fucking bob. Me and Nick were in. I know. Oh, don't. Wait, touch them up. I didn't realize how white this show was here come the unstable

I'm the moon miracle gangster I'm so sorry still living like that what about dude Ian Edwards just turned in his grave and he's alive I'm glad this guy brought this up I'm glad this guy brought this up. Ian Edwards just turned in his grave and he's alive. I'm glad this guy brought this up. I'm glad this guy brought this up.

Because what about fucking Informa? You know, say let me so say I come lamb. I'll let people move down. Attack the man I say. Say let me so myself. Someone down the land. I'll let people move down. Informa.

What are you going to do? You be 40 next? Red wine. No more white Jamaicans. We're out of white Jamaicans. What are you going to do? You be 40 next? Red, red, white. No more white Jamaicans. We're out of white Jamaicans. Hey, are the Island Boys Jamaican? No, dude. They hate each other now.

They're just from Florida. They hate each other. Fake Cubans. They hate each other. They hate each other. They hate each other. They hate each other. Dude.

I thought you knew it was the music, dude. How do you know what it is? No, wait, wait, wait. Dude, back in the 80s, a thing

every rapper would do is they would have a Jamaican song on their album. And I listened to it. And I believe that Vanilla Ice had one.

And I don't remember the song. I'm going to do that with my comedy. 35 minutes in. Boom, boom, boom. And I don't remember the song. I'm going to do that with my comedy. 35 minutes in. Boom, boom, boom. Okay, booyakasha. Here we go.

What's the deal with cell phones, man? Oh, you're so stupid. Have you ever been to a kiosk at the Glendale Galleria? Why they try to spray you with perfume? That's Italian. What's Jamaican? Perfume. Have you heard of Jamaican before? Not really, man. What's Jamaican? Have you heard of Jamaican before?

Not really man What's Jamaican? Yeah there you go Oh I love how it's R-O-S-T-A I told you that this dude had a If this was Patreon we could listen to that I've never heard of it Well you know Patreon episode

We'll have to do that Boom boom boom yeah Chet Hanks If you could play his Jamaican accent It is just fantastic It's great It's great We had him old school king this thing Yeah we did His Jamaican accent, it is just fantastic. It's great. It's great.

We had him old school king this thing. Yeah, we did. He was a wild boy. Tom Hanks brought all four of his kids to the Golden Globes. He's got four kids? It's crazy. Four's going to be fucking. Yeah.

I may not know what love is, but I know what splurting is. John A. I know it. Oh, here he but I know what splurting is. John, eh? I know it. Oh, here he is. This is where it popped off. This is it, yeah. Puka, puka, puka. Big up, big up the whole island. Massive, it's your boy Chet and I.

He's at the Oscars, by the way. From the golden gloves, you all see. We've seen it, Father Tom Hanks, by the way. We've seen it, and I watch. Soon forward come. Big up, tune in. Father Tom Hanks. Imagine you're Tom Hanks now, and you're looking over and you see your son.

I love it. Dude, his White Boy song Bro Just gets my bones Why did he do that Like why was he doing that He's so good at it It's hilarious It's so funny man He's so good at it

You just wait till I like that dude You just wait till Calvin's rebelling against you I'll be right there with him What we doing I'll be in the videos With my son

That's the hardest thing Like Yeah yeah If you're a kid of a comic And you think you're gonna to get them, good luck. You're proud. You're proud. You're proud.

All right, all right. I get it. I get it. That's me as a dad. Yep. Imagine Tom Hanks at the Oscars. He's up for whatever. Captain Phillips.

No, but it's like this, though. He's being interviewed. Then he's like, big up, big up, big up. Yeah, and then I really enjoy doing this movie. He's all, big up, big up, big up. His son's in the back. Yeah. Big up, big up, big the back yeah he's just over here like oh god big ups he's just are you probably just they obviously what kind of relationship do they have is it a good relationship they i know they cut him off we couldn't ask him about his parents when he came on but i know they cut him

off for some reason because he's a white rapper that sucks sucks. Your dad cuts you off? Who knows, man. Especially when your dad's Tom Hanks. But who knows? Who knows if that's even true? Yeah, who knows the relationship? Who knows? He was a good guy. I liked him.

Oh, yeah, Chet's great. Yeah. I heard Tom's great too, though. You know what? I don't know. I have no idea. You know, there's a poll that came out and said,

who would you vote for for president? Tom Hanks was number one. People's stupid, right? I mean, who's voting on that? Because who knows if he's forced. Did somebody win the $1.9 billion? No. Two people did? One person in LA.

Lottery? Powerball. Somebody won in LA? That makes me mad I didn't buy the ticket. That's great. You know what's crazy about it? They're going to actually get a billion dollars. They're going to be a billionaire. You know what they can get?

They were breaking down the KTLA this morning. Shout out to Dallas Diamond Reigns, the weatherman. Get to it. Get to it. You can take a one-time lump sum of 980 million or you can get 1.4 million over 20 years. Nobody says to do that. Everybody says get the lump sum. Every lump sum.

If it's $900 million, all good. I'm not saying I'll take that. Okay says to get the lump sum. Yeah. Every- Oh, yeah. $900 million. All good. Yeah, I'm not saying I'll take that. Okay, so here are the options. I'm saying those are the options. Here are the options. So on one hand, the option is you get $900 million.

I'll take that one. Oh, okay. It's actually probably going to be more because of the people that bought. It was 1.9, but it grew to 2. So it's going to be an actual billion dollars. But you know all this does is just add to the pot for taxes in California. For them? Yeah, but who cares at that point?

If you're paying a billion dollars in taxes, it doesn't matter if you got a billion dollars in taxes. Think about people who bought tickets. Think about people who bought tickets. That's all that goes to taxes. What helps the schools? A portion of it goes to schools. It's fine. Oh, does it? Prove it. Like the ghosts? You know, a portion of it goes to schools. It's fine. Oh, does it? Yeah. Prove it.

Oh, like the ghosts? Exactly. You believe all the wrong shit. How do I believe the wrong shit? You believe in ghosts, but you don't believe in like, even if like 10% goes to schools, it's helping. I know. And this guy's like, yeah, but ghosts.

Right. They're fucking our mouths. We'll prove it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I bet you we can prove it. And this guy says there's proof. His buddy has fucking proof on ghosts. How much money has gone to the schools from the lottery?

We can Google that. Hold on. What are you going to do? Are you going to Google it on CNN? There you go. CNN. Let's believe CNN. It's Alex Jones.

Oh, my God. He's Alex Jones. Yeah, Alex Jones Jr. over here. Oh, wow. I bet you guys didn't even vote. I vote for a noma. Not only do I vote for that, I vote for everything that is possible on the day of voting. Like I voted for American Idol.

I voted for, you know, the chicks that, Hey, yeah, vote for me. A magazine magazine. I vote for that.

I do every, I spent all day. Yep. I call in. Yep. I do old episodes. They're not even active anymore. The number's not even active.

You guys remember when it used to say, if you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again. Hold on. And then it would go, and then it would go, message C5. Do you remember when it would do that? Would you ever wait it out?

I never wait that long. I wait. That's shit to do. It does that. The way you did that, I thought Eminem was going to start like, mom's spaghetti. I had shit to do. It does that.

The way you did that, I thought Eminem was going to start like, mom's spaghetti. He's just like, wow, this is a weird message. Okay, fine. What you got, Nicholas? He was really enjoying the show. He wasn't even ready with the shit. I was looking for more shit. Oh, wow.

You're fired, right? Yeah, he's been fired. We can't have this. He doesn't work here anymore. Hey, how about Callan had his wedding celebration on Saturday? He had it on Saturday when everyone's out of town. And I go, all your close friends are comics. We're all touring. Nobody's going to be able to go.

He knew I was going to be at Foco. That was a clear message. I don't want you there. Yeah, fine. Like, right? You know what, Eric? When you're right, you're right. Yeah, it's a clear message.

You knew we're right. Yeah You know we're calm. He knows all the buzzer comments. You went I went yeah, dude He missed you guys. Yeah He really wanted he didn't plan I guess is his wife's wife did also but also my wife was like, hey We're gonna celebrate on Saturday. Oh dude on Sunday though, cuz you know friends are fucking comics, you know, Brian Brian looks young there. Does he? Yeah, I stared off into the sky. They both look great.

But yeah, congratulations. That's fucking amazing. I know. I wish I was there. I had to be in Denver performing for 4,500 people. Sorry. And I was in San Antonio. My celebration was bigger.

No, I know, but my celebration was bigger. Mine was also better. And the people there liked me more than the people there at his. Except for Chin kind of liked me. I hate to parlay on this, but I was in San Antonio with only 1,200 tickets. That's sad. It's a bummer. I was in L.A.

Oh, you could have went. They're not really friends. Yeah, I'm not friends like that. You hate your enemies. Are you and Callan aren't friends? No, yes, they are. He's been in comedy for 40 years together. I'll listen to this guy. I'm old like Brian Callan

No, how are you? I have no idea. I know he's 50 Yeah, you look better. He just turned 50. Yeah, cuz if I shave this I'm like, how old you know How old you think chin is? They already know my age. No, they don't 61. I know you're See one Asians like they I know they go they go they go they go and then they hit 75 Fucking black people are too though. Yeah, Ian Edwards, no one knows how old he is. I feel like you don't really age either though. You don't age either.

Neither do you. You don't age either. I was just saying, Ian might be 81 and no one knows. I always say, you know how I always do this thing, I say, well, we should... I want to buy a plane ticket for him. Yeah. To get his burger. Just to get his.

Ian, I'm flying you, but I need your. Yeah. He's like, no, I'll just meet you there. Yeah, he'll find a way to get out of it. I'm eating. He will find a way to get out of it. Has Ian ever ran in his life? Oh, dude, he was playing soccer.

Yeah, he loves soccer. Yeah, he plays. He's a soccer head. Dude, that guy chills and walks everywhere, though. Premier League soccer. And he's vegan. Yeah, I know. plays. He's a soccer head. Dude, that guy chills and walks everywhere, though. Premier League soccer. And he's vegan. Yeah, I know. Wow.

He's so fucking funny. Brian Callen's producer of his solo show, The Brian Callen Podcast, is my buddy Dylan Wren, and he's been on Ian's soccer podcast that he's been doing for like four years that no one has ever. That's so funny. I know about that. That's so funny. My favorite was when Ian went on Rogan.

He started talking about soccer, and you see Rogan go. Yeah. Yeah. And then Ian just kept doing it. Because he's a monster. I know about that. That's so funny. My favorite was when Ian went on Rogan. He started talking about soccer. You see Rogan go. Yeah. Yeah. And then Ian just kept doing it. Because he's a monster. You know what I mean? Rogan's a monster. Yeah.

Rogan's a monster. Like, come on. Enjoy soccer. Dude, I, four years, what was it? It was about four years ago, I said to Rogan, I was like. Four years ago? Yeah, about four. Probably three, actually.

Okay. I said. No, you're forgetting COVID. Yeah, but before, it was right before covet yeah so three yeah well and i it's been four years it doesn't matter four years give us four just go with four another story's wrong i said to him my buddy said hey aaron rogers really wants to do rogan and i said oh wow okay he said can you you know you know rogan can you talk to rogan so i texted rogan hey buddy i don you you know you know rogan can you talk to rogan so i texted rogan hey buddy i don't know how interested you are but aaron rogers wants to

do your podcast and my buddy knows him and he told me to hit you up and so i figured it would be cool rogan writes back who's aaron rogers i mean you had to cut to he just had him on the podcast and i know that because of the football because ayahuasca. Because of the ayahuasca. Because he started doing ayahuasca. He's having a horrible year. Like, if it's not about UFC or whatever, I'm like, you don't know who, I know who Aaron Rodgers is. He hosted Jeopardy.

Oh, he did? Wow. Yeah. It's so funny. Oh, Aaron Rodgers did. Yeah, Aaron Rodgers hosted Jeopardy. Oh, he was great at it. He could have been full time.

Oh, you want to talk about Rogan? Rogan must just be in a bubble, man. It's just. No, he just doesn't give a fuck about... You don't watch sports either. But he's still athletic. I know who Aaron Rodgers is, though. But I think for Rogan, he's so busy with everything else.

Yeah, of course. And he's balls even fighting. Of course, yeah. And he never... As a kid, he never really... But it's just so funny that you don't... Like the major sports. That you just...

That was so funny. No, I told... Similar thing, because Aubrey's my boy. He's the best friend. You keep touching me. I know. I love this shirt. It's really annoying, but you do it every episode.

Well, you know what? We're going to have to have a montage of that. I'm going to have a guard. I'm going to get a guard. I'm going to get a guard. What did you say? You're going to have to have a montage. Oh, well, you don't get to touch the plastic.

But that's how I show affection. That's fine. I touch. But do it. You know what? I'm fine with it, but don't always hit the same spot. It's like water torture. Just do different things.

Hit the back. Even that's fine. You don't get how strong he is. It's like water torture. Just do different things. Hit the back. Even that's fine. He doesn't get how strong he is. You can't just give me- Yeah. What's up, Brandon? Yeah, my uncle did it. My man, what's up?

My uncle would do it growing up. My uncle would- You're a- You're a dense boy. It's dude. Your shit should be dense boy. I mean, the brand's Thick Boy. That's the dude.

But it's different. You know who gave me the nickname Thick Boy? What? Mark Norman. Mark Norman gave me Thick Boy. I know. Dense boy. Yeah, because it means two things. Like big, but also dirt. You know who gave me the nickname Thick Boy? It's Mark Norman. Mark Norman gave me Thick Boy. I know. Dense Boy. Yeah, because it means two things.

Like big, but also dirt. You know what I mean? What? I thought we were having a good day. No, I hate you. Sorry, I never liked you. I don't even care anymore. You can kill me.

Oh, and another shout out to also RIP Aaron Carter. Really sad. Really sad. Died in a bathtub, right? Yeah, he was huffing. He went out like Whitney. Yeah. Went out to Beverly Hills Hotel.

Right. She haunts that place. So sad, man. I'm sorry. No, she doesn't haunt that place. You know people, I think they charge extra to stay in that room.

The one that she died in? Yeah. People are morbid like that. Imagine you're at the front desk and you're like, can I get the... Can you imagine someone do that? Like if you went to the

Chateau Maramount or whatever it's by the time store. Chateau Maramount, yeah. Yep. You stay at the John Belusi suite. John Belusi, yeah. John Belusi. Chateau Maramount with John Belusi.

What's it called? What's it called? What's it called? What's it called though? That has to be the clip. Come on. It has to be the clip. Come on. It has to be the clip. Is it not a tricky hotel name?

Oh, is it tricky? Is it not? Is it not? Hey, guys, it's tricky. It's a little tricky. Hold on. Hold on. Shin, what's it called?

Chateau Marmont. Yep. And John Belushi. Well, John Belushi's easy. John Belushi. Yeah, it's it called? Chateau Marmont. Yep. And John Belushi. Well, John Belushi's easy. John Belushi. Yeah, it's easy. That's all tricky. No, just the Hotel Marmont is tough for me.

Chateau Marmont and John Belushi. And you can stay there. You can get the room that he passed away in. Oh, got it. Okay. I didn't know that. Yeah. You know I give tours for Charles Manson, L.A.

Yeah, you better clean your fucking language up. That would be great. No, no, no. No, they love it. Okay. I didn't know that. Yeah. You know, I give tours for Charles Manson. Yeah. You better clean your fucking language up. That would be great. No, no, no. No, they love it. There's a thick boy. And here I'm sunstripped. And Brendan's like, yeah, for now we're passing the Chateau Mar-Mom. And someone's like, did he say mom?

I'm sorry. Is that what it's called? You know, one time I was driving in one of those star buses. You were in it? No, no, no. I was driving and a star bus pulled up and it was like, see the stars. Then I was looking and I was like, hello. Oh, I know.

It's so funny. How come you guys are not? I know. I know. It's so funny. To your right is Montez from Workaholics. They never even. I know.

What a treat when they pull up and it's like The Rock. I just, now I can know. What a treat when they pull up and it's like The Rock. I just, now I can't. What a treat. Now I can't stop thinking about like Star Tours with Brendan. And it's just like, it's just Tricky Tours. Tricky Tours. We just stay away from the hard to name streets. You're just saying all names wrong.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that was great. Thank you. Tricky. I needed that. All right, let's see what's up. This is a new segment. I'm calling Nick shows you guys stuff.

People DM Tim. Okay. Good segment a new segment I'm calling Nick Shows You Guys Stuff People DM'd Him. Okay. It's a creative segment. I like the title. And this is, remember Mason Ramsey? Theo would hit him. Oh, this is the dude that. Theo would hit him after the show.

This is the singer guy? Yeah, yeah. But he's got his own countdown of like when he turns 18 so he can get all the ladies that. Oh, this kid's massive on YouTube. My kids watch him. Oh, my God. So this kid is... What's his name?

Mason Ramsey. He's massive, though. Remember he was on Ellen, but he was the kid in Walmart singing? Oh, no, I know who he is. She likes to weigh a twang. I know who he is. My kids love his shit.

But yeah, he's just ready to turn 18 and get a bunch of pussy. So hold on. So he's. He's really big, huh? He's big. Yeah. Still. Yeah.

Still pretty big. How is the Internet going to be mad at him? That's what I want to know. You know what I mean? Well, he's country. Country doesn't hate like the rest of the groups. Yeah, he's right. You're right about that.

Good point. Good point. Country like rallies around each other. Look at Morgan Whelan. Oh, look at him. He's growing up. Look at him. Yeah.

Why not? He can sing too. Yeah. He dresses like Howdy Doody though, right? That's a nice shirt. Come on. No, that is. No, back in the day.

Back in the day he did, but he was really young. Because his parents were dressing him. Yeah, yeah. You ever look at pictures of yourself? You want to go to your parents and be like, yo, yo, yo. What is this? Yeah. Oh, you ever seen Big Daddy?

You know when they let the kid dress himself? Dude, I was in a silk shirt, a bolo tie, some baggy JNCO jeans and cowboy boots. That's what you dressed as? Yeah. When? My first day of first grade. Really? That's like six years ago?

Yeah. I told my mom, like, what were you doing? She's like, that's what you wanted to wear. I wore, on the first day of school, I think two different years as a kid, I wore a tie because I wanted to. Because I thought it was the first day of school, I wanted to wear a tie. And hold on. Wow.

And that's cute, dude. I agree. First of all, that's going to be Calvin school I'm going to wear a tie and hold on and that's cute dude I agree first of all that's going to be Calvin he's going to have a briefcase all business because that dude is serious with like

he's going to start an app and second grade yeah yeah yeah he's going to have this like so let's see what we got blocks his lunch is going to be like this yeah yeah yeah

you know what I mean tablecloth he's going to have a lit candle in there he's going to be like are you a hit man yeah it's a good guy you know a lit candle in there. Are you a hit man? Yeah, it's a good guy.

A lit candle. Is he the guy from The Professional? No, he's... He's going to have a candle. And he's just going to be like, you know, forking knife at lunch with his chicken finger. I don't let my kids leave the house in sweats. Do you? I don't let them wear sweats outside the house.

Sweats? What are you, anti-sweats? Never. Why? Have a little respect for yourself. He's fucking fine. You'll never catch me wearing sweats or shorts outside the house. What?

Oh, that's crazy, bro. Never, unless I'm headed to the gym only, but my day, never. Never, never. Have a little respect for yourself. Just fancy sweats. Bro, fucking little respect for himself, he says, with a fucking hat with the holes in it and shit. You know what I mean? You don't ever have like a top and bottom matching sweats, you know?

Like joggers? Yeah. Like a nice top? Maybe it's like, no. For my kids, no. Wow. They can't wear sweats outside the house. Interesting stance.

Yeah, this is weird. Interesting stance. Yeah, have a little fucking respect for yourself. They can beat people up and drink, but no sweats. Correct. Correct. You can beat them up in style. You better have jeans on.

He fucked me up, but goddamn, I got to give it to him. He looked fantastic doing it. Why are you anti-sweats? What happened to you? To me, people are too lazy. Society's too lazy. You on a plane, people in sandals. Well, that's different, though.

You can smell people's feet is gross. Smelling people's feet, having your feet out is gross. Do you go through the day with board shorts on? You don't want to be that weird guy that wears sweats with no underwear to the strip club. Well, someone say that's smart. That sounds like a good idea. That sounds smart. Yeah, no, the guys do that, I'm sure, right?

I've never done that. I've never done that. Fair move. Silk basketball shorts with underwear yeah no i know guys do that yeah yeah i used to go strip club all the time and like i would see dudes just showing up with like just you know yeah basically nothing yeah yeah just naked dudes it's all science makes sense it's just what it's science what is less fabric yeah i mean yeah yeah more sensitive rocks off you don't have to pay for it i mean guys are creeps man i would never

do that uh what are you saying nick uh just that account passenger shaming they'll it's a lot of viral videos of people posting like bare feet up on their right right it's insane to me but the person who runs that account former flight attendant and fan of like the podcast they write me about they've written me oh i didn't know it's a thing i love them yeah to me it's great like feeling back in the 50s and 40s when guys wear wear suits and top hats and, like, dress really nice. Yeah. Fast forward now, people barely working. They're zooming in.

Yeah. They're in sweats all the time. Yeah, but here's the thing, though. It's just a respect thing. On a plane, though, the planes don't respect us either. The seats keep getting smaller and smaller and smaller. There you go. So, like, what are we talking about?

Like, I'm supposed to dress up? I'm supposed to dress up sitting in, like, a lawn chair? Well, not if you're on Spirit Airlines or Southwest. Like, come on, bro. Okay, I'm just saying, man. I don't always, like, I'm not getting first class every time. Sometimes I'm just like, you know. Yeah, you're basically saying.

Give her some jeans. You're basically saying, airlines, you better respect me more or I'm showing up in fucking board shorts. Boom. Yeah. Yeah. I get it. Toes out. I got sweats on.

Barely. No, no, I can't. I don't. I'm never going to be out in public in slippers. Right. Just for the simple fact that when you go to the bathroom, you realize how much pee gets on your

feet. Oh, it goes everywhere. Bro, what the fuck is that? Why is he? What is that? Mashed potatoes underneath this foot? What is that? Throw up? What is going on there? His bandage is coming off. He's gotussing. He's pussing all over. Oh, for fuck's sake, bro. That brown carpet, Southwest.

Yeah. That's terrible. Bro, when your boarding group see you on Southwest, fuck my life. Let's see here. Oh, wow. Have your shoes on, bro. Wow. That's Brian Tell.

That is horrible. I would say something to that person. Well, you would think that the fucking people would, right? Sir, get your corns off the fucking thing. Yeah, but who do you think you are? Have a little respect for yourself. Who's your parents? Yeah, no, okay, so you've said that a lot.

And you don't fuck with them. Yeah, okay, you make your point, but you keep saying have a little respect for yourself. Let's move on from that saying and say a different thing. Like what? I'd rather you do this than hit me. We're just off the rails at this point. Podcast is great. Is that Jason Momoa? That's our fan, the submitter.

Somebody submitted this? No, I was just kidding. And he's in a suit. Oh, weird. A successful guy in a suit on the airline. No, this is a flight attendant. One time I was on Qatar Airlines. Really fancy. Yes, this is a flight attendant. Okay, one time I was on Qatar Airlines. All right? Lit.

Really fancy. Yes, very fancy. All right, so I'm sitting in the, I'm in first two, right? Wow. And then like, there's a TV this size. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like a good five feet away from me.

It's like, you know, and I'm sitting there and then this guy comes over. That was when you caught up on my podcast or what? No. You were watching it? Oh, okay. The guy walks up with a suit on and I go like this oh i'm sorry am i in your seat but it was the flight

attendant and the dude went like this first time oh that's hilarious and i was like yeah that shit was so fancy that when we were landing we were about to land and i was like oh i know i've been there can we go around one more time Can we go around one more time? That's so funny, dude. Can we go around one more time? I really do. Because I was in the middle of a movie. Oh, I like that.

You're like, no, I'm going to be at this shitty airport. Y'all cozy? I'm cozy as hell. That's very rare, though. It's rare. But when it happens, like, oh, man. I've had that a few times. When you're so into a movie.

When you're on a really good airline. I'm saying when you're on a really good airline. Like, this domestic shit is not good. Well, I'm going to Boston. I'll be in Boston tomorrow or something. Ticketschristian.com. But I got the lay down bed. Early flight?

East Coast early flight. I don't know, but it's still not. No, no, no. It's not what you're talking about. It's not Qatar, Emirates, Australian Air, Qatar. JetBlue, East Coast? Man. Oh, bro. JetBlue, but they got some good ones.

American has good ones. Turkish? Sometimes you got to look at what plane you have, though. I do that. I never look. And then you pay for a first class, you eat that old ass soup. Yeah, I know. You know what it's about, too?

It's also about, like, it'll be a better plane if you're going to a city that's a hub of the airline. Yeah, Chicago, Atlanta, Dallas. Boston, Atlanta. Yeah. I flew to Atlanta the other day, and it wasn't. It was just like this shit, and I was like, somebody fucked up. It drives me nuts. But wasn't that nice when that guy was in a suit,

came in like, oh, this is nice. Yeah, because they're working there. Like, I don't know why these fucks aren't in suits, okay? Yeah, dude, we should make that happen, bro. And pay for the suits with your own fucking money. Pay for the suits with your own money, dude. You think we want to look at Mark's fucking hair? Mark's suit's going to be pretty.

Hair up, Mark. Dude, you know what? He needs a net. A man bun. A net. A man bun. We don't want that shit all fucking flying everywhere. Dude.

Mark's suit's going to be expensive. There's drinks around here. Shit's going to change. He needs to have a hair in his arm. Yep. Yep. Speaking of which, they're empty. Mark, get more fucking drinks.

That's empty. That's empty. We love Mark. We do love Mark. Mark in a tailored suit not gonna be a cheat oh no Mark's a no Mark's a cool dude

and honestly we make fun but Mark bro shows up in a suit you don't want him in a suit because he'll take all your he'll take your ladies

he'll fuck your girl oh yeah and you get it you'd be like I get it those are the rules dim the rules but I think

I think that's we isn't that how that is anyway what when a girl comes to you and she admits, I was cheating. And then you go, what? And they're like, it was with. Jason Momoa.

Michael B. Jordan. And you're like. Yeah. No, I get it. I was sorry. I can't tell on her about that. I know. What is this?

Pretty face. Damn, Mr. Blue Eyes. He got a pretty face. Hey, Mark, is that a headshot? He looks like, what's that one actor? No, it's just like a random picture of somebody. Really? It looks very set up.

Wow. It's like the lighting. Go to the one in the suit. Wait, that's a random picture? Hey, go to the one in the suit for me. I used to sell real estate before. There's one right there. Yeah, it looks like you're selling dick right here.

Are you selling dick? Because that's what it looks like. Damn, daddy. Well you're selling dick right here. Are you selling dick? Because that's what it looks like. Damn, daddy. Well, this one he looks- Fresh shaved. Yeah. Yeah, it's good. And he got them DSLs, y'all.

What's going on? Damn, that guy. Eric, we have to go, okay? This is it. He got them DSLs. I'll be in Boston tomorrow or two days, and then I got- You're doing small venue?

Is that the Wang? Atlanta. It's the Wang. I'm here in Atlanta right now. Come. And then I got there. You're doing a small venue? Is that the Wang? Atlanta. It's the Wang. I'm here in Atlanta right now. Come see me. God damn it. Atlanta Punchline. And then next week, Wise Guys in Las Vegas.

Please come check me out there. Wise Guys. Great club. I'll be in Vegas. Vegas. Go out there and see it. Wise Guys is a great club because Keith runs it, who runs Wise Guys in Salt Lake City. But then also our boy Pauly Shore. Yep. Pauly's a part of it. I opened that club. Great club. It's for great club because Keith runs it, who runs Wise Guys in Salt Lake City. But then also our boy Pauly Shore is involved.

Yep, Pauly's a part of it. I opened that club. Great club. It's for the locals, too. If you're trying to see Jay Leno and some bullshit magic from First Angel. Local Vegas, come see me. Go see him. Wise Guys is a great club.

I was just at Skank Fest in Vegas, so come see me now at the club. It's just me. Come on out. Go see Eric. And if you like DSLs, my DSLs will be in Houston tonight, tomorrow, Friday, Saturday. We have an appearance at the Specs giving out Tiger Thick on Saturday from noon to 2, then two shows Saturday night. And then, oh, shit, next week.

Oh, wow. That scared me. That scared Daddy. That scared Daddy. And that really scared me. And then that really scared me. Wow, this is how it should be. Wow, what if he was really that tall?

So much better now. Hey, watch your mouth. Shut your mouth. And then Milwaukee next week. Friday, Saturday, Milwaukee. I didn't even get to do my dates. Providence, Rhode Island. And then DC Improv, December.

Austin, I'm up there. Tulsa. We got Ohio dates and Kansas City dates. They're live now. Go to chrissy.com. That looks so funny. When I used to work in an office, I'd be live now. Go to chrissy.com. That looks so funny. When I used to work in an office, I'd be like this.

Coming in for a landing. Oh, my God, bro. And then that's when people were like, you know what? You got to try comedy. This might not be funny, guys. 20 years later, I am still doing it. All right, guys. Love you. Golden Hour, baby.

We're friends that laugh. We're friends that laugh. We're friends that shout. Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about, but that won't stop us. Nothing can stop us. Ooh, yeah. I can show you used to love. Just rebrand it enough It's stronger, better, bigger power

Cause it is the golden hour It's the golden hour