The Golden Hour - Anything Can Happen | The Golden Hour #136 w/Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: June 13, 2025

Chris and Erik are back to discuss the art of picking someone up from the airport (and why nobody wants to do it anymore), the chaos of deciphering cigarette prices at 7-Eleven, and the wild world of parking at LAX1. They also talk about the ever-changing podcast studio setup, the confusion of walk-up Starbucks locations, and the joys and challenges of being a “cool dad”—and much more! Get this episode AD FREE + 2 PATREON ONLY episodes/month only at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcastDraftKings - Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code GOLDEN. That’s code GOLDEN for new customers to get $300 in bonus bets if your bet wins when you bet five bucks.American Financing - Call American Financing today 866 - eight eight six - ninety two sixty two, That’s 866 - eight eight six - ninety two sixty two. https://americanfinancing.net/goldenQuince - Go to https://quince.com/golden for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Call American Financing today to find out how customers are savingan avg of $800/mo. 866-886-9262 or visithttp://www.AmericanFinancing.net/Golden, NMLS 182334,nmlsconsumeraccess.orgSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about But that won't stop us Nothing can stop us As I show you, use the love, just rebrand it enough It's stronger, bigger power cuz it is the golden hour You know what dude we we are it's not even that we moved it's it's not even that Brendan moved. It's not that the show changed. It's that the show is

changing and we're still coming at you, dude. We are, we are, we are, it's not even that it's changing. You know what we're doing? We're transitioning. That's what we're doing. We're transitioning and you know what? Right now, I'm sorry, but were they them? Because we don't know yet. Yeah, right. And we still identify as we don't know. It's fluid. Is what we're saying. But we do we do look like we do look like we have a podcast where we're two two guys would talk to you like this. Hey, we're gonna put together a cabinet. Yeah, so we don't have we we and everyone's always like, you know, is Keep are you keeping it? Brennan's still on the show we we don't

have him this week because he's been moving to Texas we're gonna have him on the show but we always like they were like you want to wait and I was like no let's just do it we don't need him dude you know I'm saying dude and we're scoping out the new area we got a nice you know of course Eric already scoped out the smoothie place. Yeah, there's a taco place over there too. I got a smoothie. Yeah. So Eric will have tried every thing by tomorrow.

And I was... That joke's in honor of Brendan since he's not here. Right, right, right. To continue though. Right. So, but yeah, so we don't know what we're doing with this background yet, but we will. We got a plan. We do have a kind of a plan, but it is cool because we consolidated studios and fucking Lifeline is gonna be here too.

So live it up, dude. Live it up if you're in the podcast, EcoSys, EcoSys? Or like if you watch podcasts, I guess? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Hey, does Kristen ever travel by herself?

She has, sometimes. So Rachel just went to a wedding. She did like a few months ago, yeah. So she went to a wedding and she's like, you know, I, do you check her in? She just, she just handles everything. Well, no, I'll get the flight, but yeah. I'm doing all that. But anyways, she's on the flight home and she, and she says to me on by text, she goes, why are they tracking my bag?

Because on the app it says. Oh my God. Wait, dude. She says, she goes, why are they tracking my bag? Is my bag on a different flight? When's the last time she flew? By herself. I've been doing that forever.

I don't know when the last time. That's the thing. And you know what? I think that sometimes they just turn everything know when the last time, that's the thing. And you know what, I think that like sometimes they just turn everything off when they're, you know. Yeah, sure, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, you do everything, so it's like,

I don't have to deal with it. But I'm just like looking at the thing and I'm just like, what do you mean is your bag on a different flight? Wow. It's literally for her. Right. So you know, yeah. That's hilarious. We're tracking your bag for you, asshole.

Dude. I, we did it. Yeah, no, I, I guess sometimes I get the, like the alerts. Like she'll go to visit friends or something and I'll get the alerts like, cause I'll set up a, someone pick her up, someone take her, someone, someone, you know, the flight. So I'll get the alerts.

And so I know where she is. But also you can do this cool thing. Did you know you can do this thing where you could just type in, you can just the flights, so I'll get the alerts. And so I know where she is. But also you can do this cool thing. Did you know you can do this thing where you can just type in, you can just text like UA150 and then just click it and it shows you that's the best. Yeah, when did that? I don't know, but they snuck that on us didn't they?

Yeah, they did. They, we need to, that's so crucial. Let us know when that happens. And when you find out, you probably found out the same way I found out. So I texted it, I'm like, what's this? Yeah Yeah, so yeah, but see I'm that guy though I track flights like if I'm gonna pick you like if you say hey This is a day in age of uber and all that stuff

You sure are that guy and I'm that guy you never picked me up or anything with flights But I can't I but you know, you. If you don't want to deal with stuff and you say Eric can you pick me up? I'm gonna be at the airport. I know that. I just know you and I know you're a flight tracking motherfucker for sure. Yeah I track flights. I picked Matt Ryfup from the airport one time. Why? He's rich. No it's because he was dealing with some stuff and he was coming in you know what I mean? And he was like yeah I said I'll'll meet you. I said, don't worry about me. You told me this, yeah. And then I just, I wrote, I even put his name on the thing

and I was standing there like this. But I said, but I had a different word on it. People were like, Montez is a Matt Wright fan? Right? No, but I, what were you just talking about? Go to the airport. Oh yeah, I don't pick anybody up from the airport. That's not, no. If you're over 35, I don't pick anybody up from the airport. That's not, no.

If you're over 35, you don't do that. You don't do that. No, you don't ask for it. That's more the thing. You can do it, because you do it. You won't be there for somebody, okay. If somebody asks you to pick them up. Oh dude, oh we're not friends anymore.

And I'm Uber to you. I I charge you I charge you for it In this like, you know what? Somebody asked me for the for the somebody asked me for a flight to the airport You know what I do turned it down That's what I do Turned it down Yeah, I I don't know what what are we talking about? There's I think there's just certain things you just don't ask for anymore. I'm not taking you to the airport.

I'm not picking you up from the airport. I'm not helping you move. I'm not there's like there's like a list of things. I'll say it's a huge one in this day and age. You know, I don't know who can you name? There's like maybe just four people on your list that if they said, I really need you to help me move, who would you help? And then in you, well, how would you even help them?

You would probably like, you'd hire a mover. But you know, but so then who would you actually go like you would go to their house? My parents, your brother, my brother, my wife lives with me for now. So no, that's, yeah, I wouldn't, you know, my kids when they get older, I guess. Even then, it's like, it's such, what a short list. If somebody, if you asked me to help you move, I would text you back, fuck you.

Like, because I want you to understand the severity of it. No, it would be, you know what? It would be a real big discussion. Like if you said to me, I need you to understand the severity of it. No, it would be a, you know what? It would be a real big discussion. Like if you said to me, I need you to help me move, like if you, you, Chris DeLea says, help me move, I would be like, are you okay? No, I wouldn't be. You wouldn't be okay.

Yeah, you wouldn't be okay. If I'm asking you to help me move, someone is in my skin trying to rob me. Because I, I would, yeah. You know what, that's gonna be our code. You're in trouble. Oh, me. Because I, I won't, yeah. You know what, that's gonna be our code, you're in trouble. Oh, okay. You know what I mean?

Oh, okay, I'll help you move. Now I know. I need help moving. That won't, yeah. That's gonna be the, you know what I mean? It'll be hilarious if someone was like sexually assaulting me and I'm trying to call you and I'm just like, and he's doing it and I'm just like.

I need help moving. I need you to help me pack my shit. And I forget the code and I'm like, are you fucking kidding me idiot? Are you having gay sex? Just ask for that. Yeah, so I don't know man. Can you get picked up curbside easy at LAX?

I feel like it's impossible to time out and they don't let you. It's hard. No, it's an Uber black, you can do it. Well, yeah, but, well, I, I always have a driver come. Like I have the travel agent set the driver because I'm not, I understand, but he's asking.

No, no, no, I get it. Okay, okay. I just wanna throw something out at you. I don't know how much that is. I didn't either until recently. What would you say, can you give me an estimate? I think it's probably four or $500. Okay.

Do you understand? I park my car at LAX. Yeah, that's great. Not at the economy lot. You don't have to scream at me. Okay? No, you need to be screamed at because this is ridiculous that you're spending that kind of money.

Drive your car to the airport, get a ticket. Why are you so fucking invested in me doing that? Because it's ridiculous that you, what you're saying. All right, all right. Because listen, I know you think it's like fancy and you're like, because there's part of you. No, no, no, that's not even.

Yes it is. I don't think it's fancy. As a matter of fact, to be honest, most of the time that I'm doing that, I'm feeling like embarrassed because I'm like, I don't want people to think I think I'm fucking cool. But you do think you're fucking cool. But not because of that.

Yeah, but you- I can sing, I put an outfit together. No, on a list of things that make somebody cool, right? You know that on that list is how somebody pick you up from the airport. Not- It's not above- Not really, bro.

It's not above dress cool, have your hair look ridiculous. Right, right, right. I'm 6'2", tall drink of water. Okay, here we go. I've got something about me, right? Yeah. All that stuff is what I'm ahead of. But also.

Crazy talented. Also on the list is you should be having somebody pick you up from the airport. It's on there. It's on there. I guess. Maybe it's not in the top 20, but it's there. That's a good, that's a good, that's a good conversation time.

I really, I'll spend time talking about this later. Is that a cool thing or not? No, no, but bro, but all I'm trying to say is this. There's a site, it's called LAX parking. Yeah. You go to it. I'm already out. You pre-do the, then have your guy do it.

You pre-do it. You park your car. I can hire another guy? You got, yeah, right. Let me just have another guy. You already have a guy doing stuff. Have him do this. I'm trying to consolidate. I just tell you this. I just, I don't want to wait for shit. Oh yeah, I know. I get my bag and then I just walk right over to the terminal and there's my car. That's great. That, that, that, okay. So there is a pro to that because you, you don't have to be like, where's the guy? Yeah, that is annoying also this too. Then you're trying not to be cool, right? So you're like, I'll get my bag, you know

He's like no, I'm gonna get your bag. So you're having this kind of like no, I can get my own bag But but at the same time that's his fucking job. So why would you get the bag? Maybe I should drive my car there. That's what I'm saying Especially if it's $500 and it's never gonna be $500. Because you're going, you're two days tops, three days. No, it's never gonna be that. Even if you don't go to this site, I'm telling you, it's still $60 a day.

Think about that. But it might be even better to do it because then I have my car too. That's what I'm saying. Then you're driving home and you're like, you know what, I wanna stop at such and such coffee place. You know what, let me stop and get a lap dance here. That's what I'm saying. Then you're driving home and you're like, you know what? I want to stop at such and such coffee place. You know what? Let me stop and get a lap dance here.

That's fucking three. My wife won't be home till. Now you don't got to fucking convince this guy. Now you feel weird about what you're asking him for. Does it cost extra if you stop at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf? Right. See? Yeah.

All right. I'm going to try that once. But. It's not about, can I tell you this too? It's not about being cheap. No, you yeah. All right. I'm gonna try that once but it's not about the can I tell you this too? It's not about being cheap. No I know. Yeah, no I understand that. Okay good. I understand. It's about spending. If you're cheap that's not a reason why. Right. Yeah. Let's take a break with the boys in Northern Hollywood. Norho. It's your boy. I will be back on next week. All right. We're all feeling it. Costs are rising on everything. Gas, groceries, home repairs. If you're a homeowner, you probably thought, should I call American financing to refinance and pay off this

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So, um, interesting. I couldn't believe when I was at the,-Eleven here before I got in. Because I wanted to like scope out the area so I got, I actually got a Starbucks, which is crazy. I don't drink Starbucks, but I got the Starbucks. It was a fucking walk-up Starbucks. No. Yeah, like, no seating.

You just walk up like you're a fucking Jehovah's Witness. Uh, hi. You know what I mean? I literally knocked. I knocked. you're a fucking Jehovah's Witness. Uh, hi. You know what I mean? Like, um, I literally knocked. I knocked. I go like, I, cause I didn't know what to do. And I'm like, does a car pull up here? I'm like, is this a drive-through only?

So I go knock, knock, knock. And your guy usually does it. Yeah. The guy opens up the window and he's like, Hey, what's up? And I'm like, is this for cars or I said, can I order a coffee? And he says, yeah, I know it's a weird store. And I'm like, wow. for cars or? I said, can I order a coffee? And he says, yeah, I know it's a weird store. And I'm like, wow, all right, yeah, so let me get this. And he's like, people often don't know what to do here.

And I'm like, he's like, I've never seen another Starbucks like this. And I'm like, this is crazy. So I got to Starbucks and I went to 7-Eleven. And I was there, okay? And there were... You know when... Well, you don't know this. Well, you do know this kind of.

When you're the only white person that walks into a convenience store and you hear other languages, you just go, anything could happen. And by the way... You just go... I could die. I could die. I could win millions of dollars. Anything could happen. Right?

Another languages, vernacular. We don't, we don't. It's just so I'm the and all I hear is stuff just, you know, there's some kind of Asian language that's being said. And then there's another Indian guy that's being said and then there's another Indian guy that's just like oh you know and then and then there's like a father and son I don't even know they were like green and and so and so the the lady is saying to the to the person behind the counter okay so this is this is this is like I will spend all day thinking about this, alright? So, there is a... She's trying to get cigarettes. Okay, first of all, you're trying... You just, you want to die.

She was like 70. She was like, I want the cigarette, you know what I mean? I'm like, oh, already you don't even want to be here, okay? On earth. So, she's arguing with the lady because behind it, it says $2.30 off any packs if you buy two. OK, which is already confusing. Yeah, do it by one. Right. Say one fifteen off of each one. Right. But it's like two thirty off of two. We buy two. So I'm like, all right.

So already I'm already I'm like this is fucking stupid What they're doing here next to that next to that sign. Mm-hmm. The signs are this big. Okay next to that it says 935 I mean the numbers are ridiculous. It says 935 for cigarettes, okay, so the lady is like no I want I I want two packs of cigarettes cigarettes and I want to pay the on what it is on the right side right and the lady's like it's not that it's two dollars and thirty cents off if you get two and she's like then what does that sign say? Okay and the other sign does say like nine thirty it says

something confusing like two yeah it says two packs or something so I'm like it is kind of confusing I'm looking and she like, the lady in front of the Asian lady is like, you know what I'm saying? I want to pay that. And the lady behind it is like, no, you cannot. It is two, every, and she's holding two cigarettes here, two cigarettes here. She's like, it's the 9.35, it's the same. And it's going on for two now I'm I'm standing there with this okay and and and they got two cash registers two workers are working on the one person so I'm like do I just I'm like hey can you you know I mean yeah but but they're so fucked so that's how Waffle House fights start. Well, yeah, so I'm saying anything can happen right now.

So now the lady, they're still arguing. The lady comes over and gets my thing. I pay for it. And she says, and I look at it and I realize what the person doesn't understand. And I go, oh fuck, I have the key. Right, wait, this is so funny. I was just about to say, would that knowledge continue?

Right, right, right. So you said, let me ask you, in your mind now you're deciding, can I fix this? Or? This could totally make it worse. Yeah. even though the answer is correct because now i'm like is this even the answer because i'm like how are they arguing about it still when i just figured it out that quickly

do i want to involve myself i'm gonna be here longer like so so i'm like i realize that the lady doesn't see it's so confusing what it says but 9.35 it says really small per per can. Can? Okay right. So now I'm reading this and I go oh so it's 9.35 per pack of cigarettes and then I go but what's a can? I'm like a can of of cigarettes? And I'm like, I don't smoke. Maybe that's what they call it? Ah, fuck, am I, and so now I'm doubting it. So I say, you know, I'm just gonna do this, fuck it.

Hey, excuse me, to the lady with the, who's behind the thing. Really? Yeah. You stepped in. I did, I did. I said, I think that this lady might be confused because she doesn't see that it says two,

it says per, 9.35 per.35 per and then I didn't say can't because I know and she says this lady says where the hell does it say that? Wait, wait, wait, is that the moment you thought I shouldn't have gotten involved? I was still on the line there I wasn't sure but she But she was like, where the hell does it say that? And I said, it says it right there. And the lady's like, it says it right here. And she points to her can. And the lady says, what the hell is a can?

So now you don't justify, because you were like. So now I'm like, all right, yeah, so it was confusing. And once the lady said, well, she said, what the hell is it can I I looked at her and I said I Am NOT helping anymore I've reached the health limit ma'am and have you all had you already paid for your water? Oh, that's why that's yeah Normally, it's just like no, it's crazy. It's crazy. You know, you see some you see some crap going on You're just kind of like yeah, I wasn't sure if they were gonna have you know, cuz the new studio on my right right right right?

Yeah, when you describe what you're walking into this is what I pictured the Star Wars Gargoyles 100% and I don't even mean to racist. It's just like we've my whole thing is like I know that culture is great and and often, especially in Southern California, you'll walk into a place and you're like, I hope they speak English. Just so you know how to converse with them and get what you want, right? I'm fine with the cultures and that's great. We gotta get to one language across the world.

And if that's not English. Just for business sake. If that's not English, fine. We could create a new one. I'll speak Japanese, I don't give a fuck. Yeah, but. It's just like, it's so, people won't do it because the culture, they'll be like,

yeah, but the culture, like, I don't care about that shit. I'll still, you know. Yeah, when you get to the hotel and stuff and you're just kinda like, I just, I'm tired. Just I, I, I want to check in. But here's the thing you're talking about with different cultures and stuff. You ever in a city, you know, here's the thing about when you go to a new place, you know, you're traveling, you're doing your shows, you get to a place, you don't know where you are. Right.

Like, like this could be right next door to the worst neighborhood in this city. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you just don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you're just kind of like moseying down the street to some thing. Oh, yeah. You know, and you walk in and then you're just kind of like,

you're assessing, is this, is this where I die? Oh, totally. Oh, bro. Yeah, you're like. I mean, I can't even, like, there's whole cities where you're like, I'm in Cincinnati, is that bad? Yeah. For comedians, you're just like. I can't even, like there's whole cities where you're like, I'm in Cincinnati. Is that bad? Yeah. For comedians, you're just like, I don't know.

Is this a good place or a bad? Like Baltimore, you know, you're like, don't go outside. Right, right, right, right. But there are cities where you're often like, oh, I don't know. But I, you know, I always think of LA. Say you're in some big city and I always think of LA. Like it'd be like if somebody's like, oh, Chris, we're coming to LA and we found a nice little spot in Inglewood.

You know what I mean? And you're just kinda like, whoa, what are you talking about? So what I'm saying, when I'm traveling, you don't know, comedy clubs aren't in like, necessarily like, maybe they got cheap rent and it's in some weird neighborhood. You're just kinda like, okay.

You're just like, oh they said there was a good soul food place down the street. You just like, I'm walking down the street and it's not till somebody tells you like, okay? Right, right, right. It's like, you know, oh, they said there was a good soul food place down the street. You know, you just like, you know, I'm walking down the street and it's not till somebody tells you like, yo bro, don't. Somebody says, oh, hey, you don't walk around here. What are you doing? What are you doing? But you just, but now I'm always, I'm always hyper aware of it because of knowing how LA is. You don't know. You know, even if the stuff plays famous, like how many times people come to LA that you know and they're like, let's go to Venice Beach. Oh my god, you're like, oh you want to get HIV?

Can they cure that? Oh my god, yeah. Yeah. You're gonna get stuck with needles. That's one of those places where I just go, you don't want to go to Venice Beach, especially post-COVID. I do, but I want to see the guy who rollerblades with a guitar. You're like, yeah, he has AIDS. Yeah, that guy. Yeah, everyone there has AIDS. It's just a skeleton skating around. Yeah. Which one goes? Dude, hey, everyone in Venice, if you're close to that walk, you have AIDS, dude. You if you're maybe if you're on the if you're I'll tell you what, if you're on the AIDS walk, if you're on the the Muscle Beach thing and you look healthy,

but you're about to get AIDS. Because you're gonna, you know, well, you're probably gonna have, not that AIDS is only for gays, but you know, you can get it that way. A lot of gays doing the bodybuilding there. But yeah, so anyway, speaking of bad neighborhoods and good neighborhoods, I'll be in Dania,

I'll be at Fort Lauderdale, Florida. I'll be in Miami, Florida, Houston. I'll be, Texas, that's Houston, Texas. I'll be in Miami, Florida, Houston. I'll be Texas, Houston, Texas. I'll be in St. Louis. I got a bunch of clubs. There's Indianapolis, Irvine, Huntsville, Alabama. So this is my, I set up a bunch of clubs this summer because I wanted to have fun. The theater store, the theater tour. Just going in a club, taking up my spots. I know, I'm sorry, but the theater

gigs start again in September with Utah. So Chrislia.com. Is this Thursday this comes out? No, this will be next Tuesday or next Thursday. OK, so I'm going to be at the. Fort Lauderdale tomorrow then. Go ahead. I'll be at the Grand Comedy Club. Wow. What's that? Escondido. Is that in California? Yeah, in California.

It's like San Diego area. So that's that's going to beido. Is that in California? Yeah, in California. It's like San Diego area. So that's gonna be good. And then what else I got? I'm gonna be at Nate Jackson's Comedy Club. Where's that now? He moved, right? It's in Tacoma. Oh, it is?

Yeah, Nate Jackson's Comedy Club in Tacoma, July 11th through 13th. What was it in, Seattle? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. Then I got some Matt Rife gigs. And then in August I'll be in Hyenas, Fort Worth. So I got some stuff coming up

and some other things in between there. Is Fort Worth, is that Dallas or is that Indian, Indianapolis, Fort Worth, Texas? Dallas, Texas, yeah. Is Nate Jackson, was he a comic or something? Yeah, yeah. You don't see a lot of names on it like that. Yeah, Nate Jackson's a comic.

Nate's huge now. Yeah, yeah, he really is. He got big, he was one of those guys that got big off the crowd work stuff on TikTok and all that, yeah, he's great. He's close to He was one of those guys that got big off the crowd work stuff on TikTok and and all that. Yeah, he's great. He's close to Matt. That's how they they talked about it. And like, you know, next thing you know, they helped each other out. Yeah, that's cool.

You know who's huge in this now, too? Speaking of a shout out to him, Max Frickin. Is that what you're gonna say, Max? Yes. He just sold out the forum. I know. You know how I know. You know how I know Max got big. I texted him for the first time ever.

It's been, I've known Max for 15 years. A very good friend of mine. I love that dude, okay? I texted him last week and for the first time ever, he didn't text me back. I'm like, this motherfucker. Oh, oh, oh, wow. I gotta text him again.

It was the night he did the forum, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we're, when you have friends that are close enough where like you don't, like you texted me yesterday, I forgot until today. We're close enough to, you know I'm not just like, fuck this guy, I'm not texting him, I just didn't do it yet. But yeah, yeah.

But yeah, I know, bro. But is that, I know they could set up the forum for different capacity, but. Still! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this is not that. What I'm saying could set up the forum for different capacity, but. Still. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this is not that. What I'm saying is, if he played the 17,000. That's the case I'll play. You know, can you put like 200 seats?

Don't push it, 200. So, but. Like on the stage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, no, but, cuz that can be set up for 17,000 people. If he set it up for 17,000 people, that is crazy, yeah. So, no, but, because that can be set up for 17,000 people. If he set it up for 17,000 people, that's, that is crazy, bro. Yeah, that's, uh... That's so awesome.

That's like the Hollywood one. I'm, I'm, I'm so happy for Max, dude. I mean, that guy's been working a long time. So, yeah, so, but, you know, and it makes you think, like, dude, when I post my clips, the crowd work ones go way better than any of the other ones. I guess that's the other one. I don't like to do them.

It's just, that's what happens. I mean, okay, it's a different thought process because the thought process before was like, don't waste your material, so you post that. Of course, and I get that. I get that. That's great. Right. But what I realize now is like, none of it matters.

Yeah, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. So it's like, post your material. Doesn't matter. Post your artwork. Doesn't matter. You know, if they like you, they like you. I have two full hour sets that I recorded.

Different material. And I'm like, maybe I'll just cut it up and move it you know what I mean it doesn't matter doesn't matter what does it matter if you've got some good moments in them just put it out even if you plan on putting out I know I know I know it's not gonna ruin it like what is this stupid thought we have that like people are gonna like this is why I say you put the mics here to go this way if we we, if someone's gonna be looking at your hour and being like, aw, I saw this bit on his Instagram.

So this is all ruined. Very, very few people are gonna do this. No one feels like that. But I do feel like, well, for instance, stuff happens so quickly now, I have this gay pride bit that I, pride month bit that I would talk about how the corporations are all pandering and silly. I've been doing it for three years now, I think.

And I'm like, yeah, it's a great bit. It's like a good bit that is killer. Sometimes people get mad at it, so it's good. And I'm like like a good bit that is killer. It people sometimes will get mad at it. So it's you know, it's good. So um and I'm like I'll put that on a special but then I'm like somebody's gonna fucking think of a version of this eventually if I don't put it out there. So June came and I was like I'm just gonna put out the video. I put it out put on my Instagram and then um now people are sending me all sorts of like memes and shit that I'm like, that I see that I'm like, oh, for sure somebody would have done a skit like this. Eventually.

There's that and there's also for me, it's just like sometimes things, whatever's happening now, like I came up with a bit because of like, we were talking about that Megan Fox movie. Yeah. Right. And I immediately was like, oh, I'm gonna do this on stage. And I just went on Yeah, right. And I immediately was like, oh, I'm gonna do this on stage. And I just went on stage and I did it

and I was like, oh, this is not something you keep. You know what I mean? It's not something you keep, it's also, they're gonna stop making those movies eventually. Right, and then no one's gonna care about this movie. Even the, yeah, true, yeah, right. You know what I mean? So I just go, all right, put it out and now I'm done.

And then there's this though. This was great, Nick. I don't know if you made this. I did, I all right, put it out and now I'm done. And then there's this, though. Here. This was this was great. Nick, I don't know if you made this. I did. Yeah, Nick made this. This was great. This is this commercial that they did is unbelievable. Football is gay. Football is. Oh, we need a new studio, new studio, just a little working out the kinks, guys. You know, if you don't know, if you don't't notice we've got the fucking wrapping paper in the box behind us

strategically put a drill behind my head to his head really it looks like it's drilling into your head actually because the fucking sky's the limit dude oh my god what they did it for me to but don't put it there if you don't want corny stuffy and stuff I hate this kind of shit by the way oh yeah well no yeah No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. What a great, that's a, I just realized that that's a great TikTok sound. I'd like to take off. Uh, the transgender one, they really only put it on for like 0.2. So here's the thing though. You're a big football player. You're you play for the lions or something.

You just like, just, you know, you know, guy guy football player, and then you're on your thing and this comes up and it says football is gay. That's so weird. Well the thing about it, you know, just think of all the Travis Kelsey is like looking at you know, he's like looking over at Taylor and he's like you know, come here. It's like I don't know this is just a weird sentiment. It is weird but the worst part about it is that the bottom line is you know, you know, deep in your heart that either the NFL is doing this begrudgingly or they just simply don't give a fuck. There is no world where they're like, yeah, actually we are gay. No way. You know that they're not thinking that.

Well here's the thing, dude, that I find interesting, because the NFL is that one place where they kind of just go, hey, we're going to do our own thing. You know what I mean? Oh, somebody got accused of murder. We're going to hold it. We're going to do an investigation. We're going to get Barry Sanders out here to look at the fucking blood spatter. Exactly. We're gonna get Barry Sanders out here to look at the fucking blood spatter. Yeah, exactly.

So the fact that they're doing this is an interesting choice. They really don't have to. Was that from 2000? I thought that was from 2021. I noticed it. The NFL one? They posted it today. Oh, they did? Oh, wow. They're their only ones though. Most of the corporations like BMW, Apple, all the people you saw do it last year haven't changed their logos. Really?

Yeah. It's turning a little bit. Well then good. I'm glad I put that bit on there. No, but here's the funny part though. They do that, but then you look at say, if we looked at NFL Europe right now or NFL or Arabia- Oh, this is one part of my act, what I said.

They would never, they don't do it. What do I say? I say if you cared, you'd also care about gays in the countries where you can get beheaded because of it. Boom. Like you don't, you don't, you can't just do it in, in USA and then in Saudi Arabia be like, ah, all you care about is putting people in BMWs. You don't give a fuck about. Every, in every Saudi Arabia movie, if there's a gay scene, it just cuts away, you know? Right before this.

Right, right, right, right, right. You know, then it's just like. Right. They just cut away to like, you know. Yeah. Fuck, we're so smart, bro. And we're fixing the world. Really, what we should be called,

we should rename this podcast called Fixing the World. Fixing the World Hour. That's actually a good podcast name. I wonder when Shits and Giggles guys will steal that. Um. Since you, we talked about that last week, That's such a good podcast name. I wonder when shits and giggles guys will steal that Since you we talked about that last week the babies have been coming out in full force. Oh Yes, just on comments. Yes their posts For shits and gigs and they still just no acknowledgement? They're not. Oh wow. Yeah, I don't know if they're Oh man. I don't think they're really coming hard. Look, they want to pretend like they're a cult.

They got to understand what a cult is and these people will get on there and these are the real babies. They call each other babies dude. The baby. It's so weird and uh i let it i let it go you know i talked about it for a little bit but i was like whatever because honestly deep down it's like oh they're doing it because they like they like me yeah right so then i'm like uh but then they they fucking make they're making money they're patreon's like $25 for the log cabin thing. I'm like, this is my shit but this guy was like He said to me that oh, this is hilarious He's like, I know I noticed that this is happening and I went to check to see this guy sent me a DM

At this time I knew they were he said he said I knew they robbed that shit off of you Didn't expect their pod to get as big as it has at this time I knew they were nicking your shit and saw that James followed you on Instagram to double check since then he must have unfollowed you to cover tracks. But he definitely followed you in 2020, 2022. How hilarious is that?

That he was like, ah, this crystal is great. It's so funny. Oh, he's doing stuff I like. I'm gonna use that. I'll unfollow him. No one will know. You know what, in honor of Brendan, you should have added some Am I Right?

Oh, Am I Right, yeah. Well, that's, I mean, I guess, I don't know. It's... Oh, and okay, so... Also, since last week, we've had a lot of people sending in other guys who are kind of... That are also me? Your essence.

Oh my God. Okay, all right, play it. of people sending in other guys who are kind of that are also me. Your essence. I play it. No, you got the, yeah. Australia, dude, get out, live somewhere else. Find, don't not there, dude. They're the size of fucking middle schoolers. I think they could be the same size as a small coffee table. Yeah, sorry for- What are you doing?

Sorry this guy exists now. There! I feel like sometimes- You know, when I see this, people will be like- Does this guy follow you? I don't know. Probably not. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. But, and it's fine. And this guy looks funny to me.

He looks funny. He is funny and whatever. Maybe he see my podcast or whatever. But also like, I don't own any of that cadence. I influence his influence and influence is great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great. I took it from people.

So that's funny, but this is hilarious. It's hilarious that people send me this and they're like, no, no, but I mean, I just feel like it. So that's funny, but this is hilarious. It's hilarious that people send me this in their life. No, no, but I mean, I just feel like it's more like a, it's more like a language, you know? Yeah, yeah. There's other podcasters that do it that I, where I noticed and then I've become,

oh, he does follow me. Well, there you go. See, that's all it takes, bro. I'm gonna follow this guy. I love this guy, Vinny. No, but what I'm saying is like, okay, here's the thing. Here's the thing though. And his thing was true.

Cause you know who does this all the time? I gotta start a podcast with this. A lot of NBA players do this kind of thing. This is beginning to think like- They steal Chris's bits? Yeah, yeah, they steal, no, yes. NBA players? Yes, they do.

That's exactly what they do. They go on things and it, like it happened to Ian Edwards, I think it was Gilbert Arenas, literally was doing Ian's bit. And then it turned into a thing because people were talking about it. He was like, well, I don't even know who that is, whatever. So what I'm saying is like,

fine, but if you have a guy, these guys, they follow you. They, they're inspired by you. Yeah, and they're like, but all, but what we're saying is like, if it's going to be so closely, just, well, that's not that, it'd be different if it was like an homage and they were like, Oh, I love Christian. Even Chris Lee would say this.

If shits and gigs followed me on Instagram and they had messaged me, I love your shit. I wouldn't be doing this right now. Right. I really wouldn't be like, I, I, I, it's still egregious and I would still be like, that's kind of weird. But I, I wouldn't be like, fuck these guys. Right, right. You know? I don't mind.

There's another guy who does a podcast, I'm not even gonna mention him, because I like the guy and I think he does good podcasts and he's funny. And he was, you know, he, he does stuff sometimes like me and I appreciate it. I like it and we talk and it's funny. Yeah. But like, but like, you know, I like it and we talk and it's funny. Yeah, but like but like You know look it's hard to do a solo podcast. Okay, it's hard to do a solo podcast So obviously you've seen somebody who's done a solo car. I guess you're like, oh, I like the way he does it I'm gonna be influenced like that. That's fine, dude. That's fine. I love it

I think it's sweet, but that shits and gigs things is another level, bro. But so anyway, what is another guy? Yeah, this actually was said to me by my girlfriend just because she thought it was funny. So we had to have a talk just about that. But when I saw it, I was like, OK, hold on. What did I use to do? But I forget what it is. We're good. He asked me if it's weird being straight in musical theater.

A little. No, it's not. I've always said that the gayest thing I've ever done was play high school football. Oh god. He asked me if it's weird being straight in musical theater. A little. No, it's not. I've always said that the gayest thing I've ever done was play high school football. I've never had a dick thrown on my shoulder in ballet class. There was a kid on the football team who would brag about tackling people by grabbing their nuts and he called me gay. He'd be like, I got him by the nuts. And I'd be like, I have to go to rehearsal to kiss girls.

And he'd be like, we played on the same team. But I don't- That laugh and then the, but I mean, maybe that's how he laughs. I don't know, but- He doesn't follow you. He doesn't follow you. See now that. But maybe he did from 2021 to 2023.

But here's the thing about the guys like this is just just do stand up dude Just do stand up. I get you don't have to because you can get viral on that kind of stuff But I'm sure this guy's great guy, you know, I and I don't this is not well This is a thing. This is like other non bro guys are looking at this like oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah sound the same Yeah, yeah, yeah, y'all sound the same. Yeah, some knucklehead. Yeah. He's only got 900 followers, and that video got 145,000 likes.

Wow. So going viral doesn't do shit, because no one followed him. Yeah, this guy's cool. Plus it's like, dude, yeah, he's cool. What's in the algorithm in a weird way, then how many people- I want people to talk like me.

I wonder how many people took it. I want everybody to be annoyed like I want to I want to I want I want everybody to be annoyed with the way I'm talking. I want everyone to talk like me You don't understand. I like it. I like it. This is Vinny guy Shades of it. Thank you. Thank you. I'm gonna follow this guy right now Vinny LaCosta He's gonna love it Vinny Lacosta.

He's gonna love it. Vinny Lacosta. I like this guy and I'm gonna follow his. Well he wants to do stand up right? Or something. Well I think he does, does he do stand up? I guess I have no idea. Lacosta, I'm following him. Who's got a big following?

I don't know, he follows me. All right, he's got like, what is he at, 546,000 followers? Hell yeah, he follows me. That's a big following. We're following him. If he's a comic, you know what I mean? Come on. There we go. I mean, what are you supposed to do? Just take a little break because the NBA Finals are here.

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This summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cop, Good Burger and Transformers Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices Pluto TV stream now pay never Dude, I finally I saw the final reckoning Tom Cruise mission impossible. Oh, is that the the final one? It's supposedly it's so

ridiculous, okay Like like I was just saying saying, just think of- I heard it's good and then I heard it's bad. You know what it is? It's not- It's Mission Impossible 6 is what it is. Yes. Yeah.

You know what I mean? It's like you know what it is. Yeah. He's like surfing in the air on a plane. What I didn't realize it was like, they did this great thing of this, a guy that was in the first Mission Impossible, who in the movie, they said they sent him away.

The guy was like, I want this guy in an Alaskan such and such, you know, because because Tom Cruise broke into this vault and this guy, you know, they brought this guy back. Was that the is it the old Lajina dude? Yeah. Yeah. It's like 30 years. And when he was saying it, I was like, wow, the first Mission Impossible was 30 years ago. Dude, how awesome is that? That's crazy.

How awesome is it that you can just be like some guy in Mission Impossible 1 as an actor and you're like, haven't been doing much. And then you don't really become a big star and then Mission Impossible 6 comes along and they call you. Just like, are you fucking serious? And then you don't really become a big star and then mission impossible six comes along and they call you. Yeah, I'm just like Are you are you fucking serious? He's actually great. Yeah, no, he's good. He was great, but I meant

dude, you know how his whole thing is to do like Impossible shit like as Tom Cruise right right in the movie, you know what I mean? The what he does in this movie. Yeah. Yeah, you're just like there's a. In the movie, you know what I mean? What he does in this movie, you're just like, there's a scene in this movie, man, where for four minutes, there's no sound, because he's underwater, you know what I mean? And you're like this in the theater. Oh, he's gonna die.

What? You're like, is this the last scene? Right, right, right. Is this it for him? Floating soon. So wait. It's pretty incredible, but I just thought the story was just so outrageous. It has to be. You know, it's six. It's number six.

But I just find myself like I find. It's more impossible than the first five. How can it be? This is number eight. Oh, I thought it was six. Yeah, I believe it's number eight. It's is number eight. Oh, I thought it was six. Yeah, I believe it's eight. This is number eight, yeah. Oh, I thought it was six. Wow.

Yeah, man. So, but you saw the ad that they did for, I guess they did it for Instagram where he's just literally tethered to the plane from 1930. Yeah. And it's just like, and he's like, hey, go see the movie. You ever, you see that? Oh, I haven't seen that. Bro, it's like, I'm just like, what are you doing? But sure, sure, sure, sure.

It's, you know what, for they used to be, I feel like they get worried about, because the insurance is so expensive and shit. Yeah. But that is, this is worth way more for the- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Makes you want to see it. Like this is crazy. Look at this, play it.

Hi everyone. Wish I could be here with you. I'm sorry for the extra noise. As you can see, we are building the latest installment of Mission Impossible. And right now we're over. The guy is just staring right at his dick. The other guy.

Yeah. And we're making the entrance. And he's like, the guy's like, I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. Tom, can you. Look it, look it, look it, so close to the.

And they basically say, Tom, we need you on set, come down. And then, and then watch this. Just watch this. I mean, this is so so crazy this is crazy but then watch this oh my god it's all right just it's fine And a very special screening of Tom Sondland average in its entirety. So please enjoy today. They couldn't even get the sound right, because it was just like, the song was just like, it's too high up.

We'll get it again. Let's see it in the movie. So why is he so comfortable? Bro. Yeah. Dude, dude, dude. Yeah. I mean, I don't care how strapped in you are.

Yeah. That is, you're like, uh, uh, uh, uh. I mean, you're this, Tucker's like, turn the sound off before they do the swoop thing. I don't know what I'm gonna do. Uh, uh, uh.

You know he is. You've been on those fucking rides at Jurassic Park. Like, get the fuck out of here. The guy's, he's insane. That's, one thing I I say for this movie though that he looked more like how he looks What do you say? I'm saying like in the first installment of the Christmas seek it's like all right I do in the first movie you could tell like oh, they probably CGI him the whole movie Why because of his face? Yes, you know, they may look younger or whatever. Yeah, whatever they do that I'm sure they could do work. Why, because of his face? Yes. They made him look younger or whatever.

Yeah, yeah, whatever they do now. I'm sure they do work. But in this movie, his hair was, I think it was like, he was like, this is Tom Cruise now. That's the thing about- This is 30 years later and here we go. That's cool. That's the thing about, obviously,

he has gray hair, right, all over. What is he, 60? I think he's got your thing. Really? Where he grays, but it's not. He's got a, he's 62? Can you not have gray hair for that long? Wow.

And of course, he runs in this movie. He runs in every movie. But when you've seen him run, you're just kind of like, man, this dude's incredible. So if that's his real hair color, that's pretty wild. That's crazy to look at that now. Because you kind of don't notice a person at each. I know, I know.

Well, especially a guy you see every day. Yeah, you see. And then you see all the movies. And then when you see that, you go, oh, shit. Oh, you know what's another one? This happened, too. OK, him and Eddie Murphy got the same shit because the new Beverly Hills cop on the thing

and I was looking at that and I was like, oh, and then like it said, because you watch this and then I watched the first Beverly Hills cop and I was like, oh my God. He was- Eddie Murphy's in it, he's just like, what? What? What the fuck?

The heat is on. In his diaper. Yeah, man. I was like, this dude really, he doesn't age, but yet he just ages differently. So Tom Cruise and Eddie Murphy do age. Yeah. But they just don't age like how everyone else ages. It's just weird because...

Look at that. Well, look. How old is Eddie Murphy? He's got to be 60. That is incredible that that's how he looks though. Yeah I know. Yeah that's crazy. But when you see how, see 64! He's older than Tom Cruise! Yeah. I mean it's like what I'm saying is like... Well did you see, you know it's funny because you see like rappers are finally getting to the age, finally just getting the age where they're a little old.

Like Will Smith is- You mean the good rappers. No, you mean you're talking about the ones that like really like the, cause there's been some old rappers like Kumo D is old. Right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. But like now it's like, you know, you, like when you see Jay Z now, you're just kind of like, I don't know if you should make any more albums. Right, right, right.

You know? It is pretty any more albums. Right, right, right. You know? It is pretty wild, dude. Yeah. But you see, you saw Will Smith rap on that thing. The internet's, it's so funny because if there was no internet, Will Smith rapping like that, whatever it would have been on, not the internet, like a show or late night show, would have been, everyone, all you would have heard about is how awesome it was but there are people on you know I'm saying and I'm not saying it's good or bad I mean I think I think like to be

whatever 60 and do that is kind of cool but like you're not gonna sound young doing it anyway so right you know when he all right. Dude, but it's like, it's like, I just take a bite that's bigger than I can chew and then chew it. And I'm like, it's kind of cool, but also you're 60. But like, but I'm like, you see on the internet, people are like, bro, just stop rapping. Like somebody with like a million followers would be like, just stop rapping.

Oh, you know what's funny? Okay, so I, I don't know, maybe people hate. I'm like, I stop rapping. And it's like, dang. Okay, so I, I'm not gonna make people hate. I'm like, I've talked about it on my podcast, so who cares, but like, remember I told you, I went on Family Feud, all right? So the other team on Family Feud, Lil' John was on the other team. And his son.

Lil' John? Lil' John? That's what I said. Lil' John and- I think his name's Lil' Sway or something. Ambryo John? But anyway, my point is, I thought to myself, no matter what or how cool you are,

no matter what, like when you're, is his son being like, dad. Oh, you know what, I was just thinking about this. You know what I mean? Like dad, come on, like, you know what I mean? I was just thinking about this. Like if his son, if dad's like, yeah, yeah, you know what I mean?

And then it's like, ugh, nobody does that anymore. I was just thinking about that. That's so funny, I was thinking about that yesterday because I was thinking about when my kids are in high school and I drive by to pick them up. Yeah, that was the other team. I was like, am I gonna? Too Short, E40, Lil Jon, what's his name?

The DJ, that's his DJ? The DJ. That's his DJ. I gotta tell you something right now. Too Short and E-40 talk a lot of shit, man. That doesn't surprise me. It was just, we were in the green room area just going at each other. That's hilarious. You know?

Too Short thinks he's so funny. Yeah, well, everybody thinks they're fucking comedians. No, but this dude thinks he's super funny. I know, I know. Well, because everyone fucking saying he is funny, probably his whole camp is like, damn, Short be funnier than a motherfucker. You know what I mean? You know they do. Like, damn, you want me short?

Oh, the thing about Short is he funny as a motherfucker. We was clowning each other. Then I got into the elevator. And he was on the phone on the elevator. Two yeah he sees me he goes like this hold on a second I'm about to get into a fight that was well that doesn't hurt you that doesn't hurt your argument that hurts your argument on it he's not funny you know I made it funnier than it probably was stick a little break here listen I'm not a big on trends type of guy, but I'm big on clothes that feel good and last most of all.

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order and 365 day returns that's q u i n c e dot com slash golden to get free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash golden let's get back to the program album number 10 remember that shit shit. Nick, pull out the app. Album number 10. You think Google would get them? I want to see if the app will figure that one out. How do you do it again? You just go on Google and you do the

let me see if I can do it. I need the Google app. Oh, okay. Forget it. I need the Google app. Oh, OK. Forget it. Let me see if I can. Here it is. Yay, nay, nay, nay, nay bunch of Mexican stuff. Ah, it was all, uh, what do you call a mariachi song? That's hilarious. Oh man.

They got to, you know what, dude? He had it in the wrong language. He had to change the language to English. So what were you thinking about? Were you thinking about Calvin? Not thinking you're cool? I drove by his school and I saw kids that were older than him

hanging out and I was like, oh wow that's so weird. Calvin and Billy are going to be that age. And I thought, what if I... and then I saw a car beyond the kids and I was like, that's where I would park if I had to pick Calvin up because I wouldn't be right there because I don't want to embarrass him because I'm his dad. Right? So but then I'm like, but then I go like this. Not me. But then I go, because I got that too. So I'm like, but then I go like this. Not me. But then I go, right. Because then I go, because I got that too.

So I'm like, then I go, I wonder actually if I'm, maybe I'm cool dad. Fuck it. I go, maybe I go, I go, I've been in some shit. I'm a comedian. Maybe they know that. I pull up, be like, oh, yo, Cal, come in. I make them laugh and shit. But that, but that, and is, even if you are a cool dad, that, what I'm talking about right now, what I'm thinking, that is what uncool dad thinks.

So you never really know. No, no, no, that's for sure. My thought process is I know I'm not cool dad. You don't give a fuck right now. I just don't give a fuck. I love you. I'm like, there was a great scene in that Spider-Man cartoon, right?

Where he's a cop and he goes on the thing. He's like, tell me you love me. Right. You know what I mean? That's me. Yeah. Yes, I agree. That's me, too. You know what I mean? I'm picking my kid up like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool.

How old is Kelvin now? Five. Has he ever had a moment? It's probably too early where he's like, get away from me, dad. So no, but he does um, he does this thing where but I think it's because he learned it from My wife is is that when I make an obvious silly joke Usually about like farting Kristen will say dad

And she's been doing that since so now Kevin goes dad So it's it's really cute though. It's really cute So so it has that air of it, but it's not technically that no Um, but it's awesome bro still just a little cave man But i'm starting like I said, i'm starting to understand because he's just like because he was he there Rachel and him were sick It's crazy. So like right now he wants to be around he wants to be around her, so he just goes like this. Go! He says that, go!

And I go. He wants you out? He wants me to go with, he wants to go find her. You know what I mean? So he goes, go! And I just go, all right, cause I was in his room, cause I got him a bed, so I'm trying to get him used to like,

okay, how's the bed? Not a crib. Not a crib. We just got him a bed, you know what I mean know I mean so you know and we just make sure there's nothing on the ground make sure yeah you know I mean yeah be good so he's like you know then he just he just goes he says you know he points so cute and he says go and I say okay where you want to go show me yeah and then he goes soon as I say that he was like cool they understand yeah yeah yeah yeah they

understand he's just like beeline he And he went to like, you know, like the door where she is, and he bangs on the door, you know, cause he knows that's how he finds her. That's so cute. And I'm like, all right, let's go. And he just, you know what I mean? Dude.

He's so big. Let me tell you one more thing. I had these little Nerf hoops in the backyard. So like maybe a month or two ago, one of them he could just slam dunk. I made a little video. the other one he was having a little trouble. Now he could do it.

This morning, kuuuuh! And throwing it in, yeah! Dude, like this. He's like, kuuuuh! You know what I mean? I'm like, wow! It's like, they grow so quick, man.

I love Sean Kemp, your baby says, I love Sean Kemp. What? Dude, the, how old is he now? 16 months on the first. Okay, so, well, okay, so yeah, that's cool. Billy is now, he's, you know, oh, he's over two, so he is like, says sentences like, dadda, poop or something.

Like if I went to the bathroom or something, you know. Like two word sentences. And, but understands a shit load. Like you'll be surprised at the stuff that they understand. Oh, I can already see. Yeah, I know you can. And so, I'll just waiting for it to be five, Calvin said the word individually the other day.

I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? Don't use that, you don't have to use that word, just say one of them. And so, yeah dude, it's crazy. But Billy, I looked at Billy because Sam, my dog, was outside peeing on the side of something outside. And we go, oh, Sam's peeing, and Billy's just like this, looking at Sam peeing.

And then Sam walks away, and then Billy looks at me. And then I say, what did Sam just do? And Billy walks up to the part where Sam was peeing and lifts his leg. And look at me, like that's what he did. I was like, oh my God, that's hilarious, dude. No, but then you're just kinda like. I know, now he's gonna pee on the house.

Yeah, he's gonna just pee. Wulff's doing this thing now where he just like dramatically lays down, you know, just wherever. Wulff, you gotta change your diaper. Oh, yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just bro, Jesus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have an upswing of it.

They'll go, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said, why are you so dramatic, man? I know, I know, it's so funny. Why are you so dramatic? Dude, I, it is so fucking, like, my, when I think of this shit like that it's just like I forget what I was gonna say I forget what I was gonna say fuck god damn it well well look at some videos that Kevin said in we got about eight minutes We're doing good. Mm-hmm. Um, I forget what I was gonna say

Damn it, and I'm pissed you remember whatever it's fine. What's this? Honestly There's some shit I would do for real if I wasn't a I'd be doing. I'm furious I didn't think of this. He's killing it. He's killing it. His face is great. That's what I'm saying. I don't know what to look at more, the guy's face or the...

Also, I'm getting horny. This guy's got some big ass fingers, huh? Yeah, he killed it. He's gotta be gay, right? This would be... His hand is. Or he jerks off to it. Yeah. I would want my jerk off hand to have like a little,

some little shorts on. Look at the Scorsese clavicle. Why are they, those are funnier than they should be. Any kind of GIF or meme. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're funnier than they should be. What's all about context? I did a thing where, I wonder if you could find it,

maybe ask Chad to be here or something, but like I did a thing where I tied up the end of a straw to my thing and it looked like one of those old Tupac, how Tupac used to tie it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Uh, yeah, those are silly. Yeah. Uh, oh man, there's one guy that does it crazy good. Oh, what's he call it? He does it like this and he, and he got eyes and this is the, oh, what? Impice or something, whatever it is. You somebody here on the, somebody listening to this knows what I'm talking

about because it's kind of viral, but that guy's got big hands too. That guy. Yeah. This really capable. He's just really capable my little hands would be like a little midget yeah you'd have to you'd have to work at uh what's at a club on the on hollywood the fucking that the short people jumbo's clown room yeah right with my little hands yeah With my little hands. Yeah. Uh, Miss Ohani.

Mmm. That's a good song choice for that guy with that hand too. That was like a... Man, that...what was that? Who was that? There's this video... There's these videos I watch on Snapchat. This guy, he just doesn't blink.

He just sits there like this. And he watches pimples being popped. But he looks like that guy. He's like that kind of guy. And he just, it's just like, I don't understand why people watch. I don't either. Him, I get why, because I watch all that stuff.

I love pimple popping stuff. Pimples and earwax and all that. I love seeing all that. But like this guy, he just, but now there's new ones too. There's like super hot girls commentating about that. That's how you know it's over, bro. Once the hot chicks get ahold of it, it's over. Bro, podcasting was the shit.

And then hot chicks started being like, wait, I'm a podcaster. Over. It's over. The Golden Age is over. Dude, once Hot Chicks get a hold of it, it's done. I don't care what it is. It is done. They're the last to know. But you know why?

Because they don't need to know. Because they're too busy getting so much fucking attention. Dude, I remember when I had a podcast, my podcast, it got to the point where it was very popular. And I would say, you know, I'd meet women, and I'd be like, yeah, I have a podcast, and they'd, all the hottest ones would say, what's a podcast? Oh, man. They were the last to know, because guys were always trying to fuck them. I was that guy. You know what I mean? And you thought the podcast would get you in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly, yeah, yeah. So you know I got a podcast.

Yeah, I got a podcast. You know what that is? Oh, oh, let me explain. All right, so it's like the radio, but on your phone. Eww. No, I know, I know. Just do what I can do to sell tickets. Yeah, so, but yeah, once they get ahold of it, it's over, bro, right?

Yeah, well, that's what it is now. Movies used to be dope, and then I got Hot Chicks involved. Now everything's fucking Marvel. Remember when movies were good? Yeah, he had Meryl Streep, she was pretty, but like, come on. She's pretty, but not, no, I mean,

anywhere in the country, you'd be like, okay, oh, she's a pretty woman. Okay. But, but, but, but bro, now you got a Megan Fox. Yeah. Movies are over. She's too hot. Yeah. And it's not her fault. Sometimes I just, it's like, I don't know, like you, you suspend your disbelief, but you're just kind of like, what? Like when, imagine being pulled over or you're getting, you're getting pulled over by Megan Fox. Or at war, shot by a fucking. Cause you'd be like this, you'd be like, he'd be like, you'd be like.

You'd be like this. Fuck, fuck. Yeah, yeah, no, you'd be like. I don't think I'm gonna make it. She'd come up, you'd be like, I don't think I'm gonna make it. She'd come up and be like, oh, word. But yeah, you're like bust in and you know, boom, it's Megan Fox. You're gonna be like, what's up, girl?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Yeah. What's your number? If I ever get out of this, what's your number? What's your Instagram? I used to have a joke about it, cause like I remember Fantastic Four,

Jessica Alba was. Yeah. And I was like, if the scientists looked like Jessica Alba in that universe, what are the ugly bitches doing? Oh my God. You know what I mean?

Yeah, what do they do? What do they do in that universe? They gotta be the villains. Like in that universe where Megan Fox is a Navy SEAL, what do the ugly chicks do? What are they doing in that universe? Those women would just be too, like literally it would be,

oh, the woman would just be like, I have too many babies. I have too many men have wooed me. And I just, yeah. She was bad as fuck, huh? Just Galba? Yeah. Now she's like a trillionaire. It's crazy. Because of the- and I just, yeah, she was bad as fuck, huh? Just Galba? Yeah.

Now she's like a trillionaire because of the- Her baby stuff. Oh, is it? That's what's happening with, what's her name, Bieber's wife. She's about to sell her makeup brand for a billion dollars. God bless. They need the money apparently.

No. Yeah, they'll be fine. But God bless, bro. That is so awesome. But check it. Check this out. Think of this for a second. You're Justin Bieber. You're a big pop star. You got a whole lot of money. You're super famous. You marry a girl. She's famous. She's a model, but not on this level. There's no world where you think he ever thought that his wife was going to become a billion. Yeah, true. But also during the pre-nup stage is what I'm saying. But also, but also he she wouldn't have been that if it wasn't for him.

But you know what I mean? But still, no, she's beautiful and I'm sure she she is a great business mind. But but they work together. But power couples are awesome. Yeah, they they they they work that that's that's what I'm saying It's like you go. Wow What universe you think like? Someone so famous well, I'll be top 20 famous person in the world. Yeah, and then your wife becomes a billionaire

Yeah, I said that remember Ali Wong had that joke about how her husband's parents Like made her sign a prenup or something and she's like I'm rich now motherfucker or somebody whatever whatever the joke was it's like you shouldn't assign her you should sign her parents Your son gets none of my money. How does that feel? Right? Yeah. So, I'm gonna be in Fort Lauderdale tomorrow.

Get your tickets St. Louis, Missouri, Indianapolis, Irvine. Escondido Grand County Club. AirGripen.com. Go check it out. And guys, don't worry, we're working on this. And Patreon is still around and everything that we're doing. So please, you know, stick around with the golden hour. We got a lot coming your way. Well, yeah.

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