The Golden Hour - Best Of: Vol. 1

Episode Date: March 7, 2019

We're looking back at some of the funniest moments from King and the Sting, such as Aunt Horny Lorny, pregnant crossfit chicks, Kelly Kapowski vs. Topanga Lawrence, words of wisdom on vasectomies, Bebop & Rocksteady, the survival of gingers, J-Rod's fat hog, the fellas ripping each other's drip, and plenty more of your faves!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

back off my broccolini get your life together it is don't touch me bro i'm not touching you dude what up dog what's up playboy not much bro uh well can you see me yeah i can see you why what are you talking about are they remaking hook what are you talking about? Are they remaking Hook? What? Are you talking about my handicap? I'm talking about your eye patch. Yeah, I have on an eye patch, dude. I'm challenging myself. You look like Jack Sparrow's side piece. That's what you look like right now.

You definitely look like a fucking dude that works at Foot Locker. You look like every white dude that works at Foot Locker. Get your whistle, Brendan. I mean, Brendan, definitely a male thot. Dude, you're a thot that drinks Pedialyte and hangs out at playgrounds. I spend time outdoors, but... Yeah, it looks like it. You're a male thot.

It's like you got fired from Garth Brooks. Look at him. Is it Chinese New Year? Are you Chinese? No. I'm not either. Are you? Nope. Oh, well, what are we talking about? Why are we talking about Chinese New Year? I mean, look, I used to do steroids by the interstate, dude. You got Picos then?

Oh, dude, and we used to pull off my buddy, and he died, actually. Ate a bunch of pills and drove him to an embankment, actually. R.I.P. Billy Conforto. Damn, Billy. Yeah, 45-year-old homoerotic bus boy. Oh, damn. Oh, you got the black lung, too. Oh, I got the hater, man. I don't bring that

fake shit. A lot of people are like, I have bronchitis, you know, but really they're just a complete nerd, you know. Man, I hurt a muscle in my arm. Doing what? Nothing? I don't know. I think I rolled over really hard in my sleep. Did you roll over in your teddy bear?

I don't know what happened. Teddy Ruxpin? Yeah. It's Ruxpin. It's Ruxpin? Teddy Ruxpin. Get over it. Dude, Teddy Ruxpin sounds like a black dude. I used to have a vice principal named Raleigh Coleman, and he used to sleep in the trunk of his car over there during recess at the school.

It sounds like a security guard I had over in high school. Oh, Teddy Ruxpin? You know Mr. Ruxpin? Don't fuck with Mr. Ruxpin. Bro, there's some- Why do you have earbuds in? Oh, do I? I't fuck with Mr. Ruffskins. Bro, there's some... Why do you have earbuds in? Oh, do I? I didn't realize that.

Sorry. Bro, you know goddamn well whoever picked these, Theo can't be looking at this. His PO officer ain't going to have this. He's going to flag this fucking... Now his dick's filling up. You guys know this is going to happen. That means I'll pop off, officer,

and I'm about to pop off when I see these shorties like this. Theo got that. Buzz, buzz, boner. I'm boned up right now. Do you want to see that heater? Damn, bro. I knew it. I fucking knew it.

I know when Theo's going to pop that boner, bro. You know it, boy. I fucking know it. I can feel it in the air. Grandma Lorna. And I guess her nickname's Horny Lorny. You're crazy if you don't think she's racist. You're crazy if you don't think she drops an N-bomb every three seconds in her household.

Bro, they don't have N-bombs in the UK, dude. Oh, she has all the bombs. Really? Oh, yeah. She don't like anybody unless you're white. Has this guy been hiding in the closet? Is this a Holocaust survivor? Who is this dude?

Talking about the Monopoly man before he went bald? Look, I mean, did they give somebody been keeping their grandfather in a, uh, in a box? What is going on? Here's my issue with CrossFit girls. They're good girls. Okay. They're nice women. The problem is some of them get pregnant

and they continue to do deadlifts, sheer jacks, you know, wall killers and all of this shit, you know, fucking midget cakers

and all it is, whatever they're doing, you know? These labia stompers, they're out there doing all these different things. It's dangerous.

You know, I'm not trying to be at the gym and step on a damn zygote. It's a bitch move, bro. If God wants you to have more kids, fire that fucking sticky icky in your girl, man Bus loads, that's the way life goes Okay

Damn, bro Hold on I'm Tony Robbins today Bus loads, that's the way life goes Okay Bro, it's your eye patch that's made us both smarter, bro Yeah, I'm cool Dude, I'm gonna leave mine down

i don't want to see any more this i'm dropping the fucking patch on you dude bus loads that's the way live girl almost forgot it okay first of all dude yeah hey boys this is elsa calling from new york city i shot my first porn film the other day and it was anal. Oh, and speaking of ass, I saw the Rip My Drip segment last week and Theo, my love, all I got to say is baby got that. Gang, gang. Dude, she wants to fuck your ass.

No, she doesn't, does she? Yeah, that's the vibe I got from it. I thought she was from that movie. Do you want to build? No. Do you want to build a snowman? Let's not drag that into this because that is not the Elsa I watch. Well, it looks like she probably works like that girl at parties. I'll say this. She seemed like a lady that's really thinking about her future.

You don't think that? She's trying to get a job? Is it something that's going to become extinct? Now, that would be great. Here's what gingers should do. What? extinct. Now, that would be great. Here's what gingers should do. If they started saying, hey, we're legally, statistically, we are becoming an extinct species. Then imagine you get money every month just for being a dang ginga. Like the goddamn Indians around here. Well, I mean,

that's one way to put them, but yeah. I mean, some places they're kind of getting wild, but I'm saying this about the gingas, bro. Don't kill the gingers. Get the documentation that you're an endangered species and get the money you deserve. Oh, man. Damn, bro. Made me want to pull my pants down. Please don't. Damn, bro. Made me want to pull my pants down. Please don't. Mm-hmm.

Oh, wow. Hit that high note. Octavia Spencer, bro. Hitting them Octavia. All right. Celine Dion and this bitch on the beach. It's the king in the stands You look like Captain Planet's side piece.

You know how when gay guys start freaking looking like each other when they hang out too much? That's what you look like. You look like, obviously, you sell cologne at a gas station okay definitely dude you look like a dude that's been held back in every grade you look like a gay hitman that's what you look like that's what you look like like yeah don't worry boss i'm going to fucking suck the guy's dick till he die. It's okay. Your logic is all over the place, bro.

Mine? Yeah, bro. Your logic dripped out of your ear in a freaking octagon, bro. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Dude, your logic is hanging off the back of your neck. You're the only guy who got all C's in homeschool. Your mom gave you C's. That's the cousin of Family Tree.

He gots a rope swing on it you know what i'm saying bro somebody's somebody's playing in the branches playing hopscotch in that family and both of them got a real kind of tit beat thug looks a little bit like terrence howard if terrence howard was kind of like a thicker white guy who might be latino it looks like sean yeah looks like a man's arm guess what if something looks like a man's arm it's a man's arm. Yeah, looks like a man's arm. Guess what? If something looks like a man's arm, it's a man's arm, dude. You'd be surprised, dude. What's the name, Chin? Alyssa, 25 years old. What's the first name, Randy?

Is it Randy Alyssa? What's Alyssa stand for? Ow? Is it ow? You mean ow? Oh, shit. The Bay Club. Debate Club. That's intense.

King of the Sting, what's better? When you're in a public washroom and you slap out that fat fucking hog? Are you taking a piss in the toilet stall? Are you taking a piss in your rain? Let the debate begin. Hell yeah, dude. Was that the greatest video submission of all time? Shout out to that dude.

Wow, I think we, yeah. I used to lease land from that guy. I think you owe that guy money. I'm sure. From back in the day. I was talking about old Theo. You've turned a new leaf now. Get your drugs out of his face, bro.

Yeah. He had that hog on him. Boy, you see that pork sausage? That wasn't turkey, bro. Hell no. That's that pork brisket, bro. Hey, guys. This is Jason from Austin, Texas, and I have a debate club topic for you.

Kelly Kapowski or Topanga? Come on, bro. Kelly Kapowski or fucking Topanga kelly kapowski verse everybody she was the best oh i jacked off relentlessly as a child really that's oh man for me this was a big deal man bebop and rock study and are they both male yeah they're both male although the pig looks like he's down for either or. He looks like a transgender kind of hero. Well, I wouldn't say that. I think Bebop looks a little lesbian for

sure, like a healthy lesbian kind of. Really? He looks transgender to me. Or a Raiders fan. Might be an A-type, you know what I'm saying? That's true. Pansexual. I think he looks like Theo. Yeah, I could see that too. I could see that. Same nose. Underbite. You have an underbite? Oh, you do. I see it from here. Yeah, yeah yeah i don't think

i do like i was joking dog you do you do sir i looked over here like this you look like a you look like bubble gum you look like bubble gum if you got sammy sosa's lotion oh dude bro you look horrible i look horrible yeah you look like a community college mascot dude you look like a child bro i look like a child yeah you know sure it says america's game all right what game america's game on there bro teamwork all right friendship you idiot all right you know what the best idea you've ever come up with bust into those lava lamps yeah fuck a sock fuck a towel jack off in the lava lamp yet now you got entertainment why don't we make those bro yeah sea monkey lava lamp yeah yeah sea monkey sea men key see men monkeys we gotta work on the title see we're halfway there shout out to females yeah shout out to females and feet um female

and females dude and um mailman yeah and that's a mailman a mailman man brandon shan you seem not my name bro okay sorry barry you seem not my name bro okay birdus not my name bro okay brandon shan nope it is crazy how much semen goes to waste every day in america when you think about it think about how many loads are dropped right now millions upon millions not thinking about that at all i was thinking about other normal stuff like what i need to do later today well no you just said think about it yeah just think about how much is wasted i don't think about how many are hitting the fucking floorboards right now floorboards some sort of savage what are you, a pirate? Floorboards? What are you, on a ship? What are you, on a cruise ship jacking off? I'm on the Mayflower, brother.

All right, let's get you out of here before you die, and we don't want to get that on camera. I just got to get my legs above my heart. And at the close today, I want to say that, you know, I know we rip each other a lot in this place because Brennan deserves it, and he would never hear uh any truth about himself if he didn't listen to someone who knows stuff like me but you can't read so doesn't bother me yeah you don't know what reading is do you think it's looking at a book still color

in your off time you use coloring books so doesn't bother me yeah Yeah, you thought there were- You're stupid. Two rivers in the world. Correct. The Nile and the Colorado. Because that's all that matters. DJ Rat King, Rat King, you seem like the type of dude who would rent a van and give kids rides after school. Thank you.

And I can approve that and I think it's nice of you. Thank you. And you also smell like hummus in studio so that's nice as well. I was giving you a compliment you fuck. You were? You're a fucking idiot. You fucking idiot.

I'm gonna leave. I gotta be somewhere else anyway. Yeah get the fuck out of here. I am. I'm trying to leave.