The Golden Hour - Bit Killer Jones | The Golden Hour #129 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: April 25, 2025

The guys talk Nick and Chris bumping into each other at The Laugh Factory, Scott Welch's Muppets interpretation of the guys, Kanye West's newest controversial social media post, magicians, celebs who've aged well, Bryan Johnson's anti-aging journey, Bryan Callen's bad texting skills and much more! Get two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcastShady Rays - Go to http://shadyrays.com and use code Golden for 35% off polarized sunglasses.DraftKings - Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code GOLDEN.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about But that won't stop us Nothing can stop us It's like a show you used to love, just rebranded enough It's stronger, bigger power cuz it is the Golden Hour It's the Golden Hour

No, the thing about Lost was I fully believe they don't know what they were doing The whole time and it just worked out But but but the other shows are pretty good and's terrible it's not it's good yeah anytime you add magic to the real world out of nowhere some of the fuckers dress up as Harry Potter's not the same universe we get the kids flying on the from yeah that's the same from the opening of the episode if there's magic then you know this is about magic I can't wait till episode 10 and then now it's a magic I want I was there to be three or four seasons watching the show I disagree when it was because then you find out

that they're just dead I want of course that's what it was I want there to be I want there to be they're dead on lost yeah it's just a dream world that's what the whole thing is they're just dead oh I Oh, I'm out. No, no, no, it's not more than that. I'm out. They all died in a plane crash. Hey, hey, hey. It's more than that. It's not.

What a terrible, terrible season. It's not. Anytime, anytime. Eric has some other stuff going on today. How many seasons is this? Anytime it's a dream world, I'm out. Seven. Oh.

Yeah, it's terrible. And it's all fake, it's a dream? Yes, yes, the whole thing's fake. Fuck you, I'm with Eric now. Fuck you. Thank you. Fuck you. Boom. Eric says it's all fake. He didn't get the show. He said it's all fake if I'm honest And there's a smoke. He said he stopped watching the black monster and then he said the finale was bad. No no yeah because I watched

Hey, what's true? Hey, I'm good here, right? We're on my side because this guy's obviously exposed himself No no no because I did watch the finale and that's how I found out it's all a dream I'm dead. I'm limbo. Oh I'm out. Yeah, I'm out. They're in purgatory. We live in the real world It's the my favorite show is lost watch watch a fucking Tom Hanks get stranded on island. That's real They're dead. They're in limbo. Oh, I'm out. Yeah. I'm out. They're in purgatory. We live in the real world. My favorite show is Lost. Watch a fucking Tom Hanks get stranded on the island. That's real. I saw that.

And that's not real. It would be like if Tom Hanks is stranded on the island. And then woke up in a dream. All of a sudden there's a dragon. And you're like, wait a minute. Or he wakes up. He's like, oh, that was scary. I'm out.

Yeah, exactly. That's what Lost was. What I want is a full season, a full few seasons of a show that's regular. And then the third or fourth fourth season you introduce magic or a dragon. No now You'd be like what I like that then you're like you're like, what what is this? No, it might as well turn into a musical That's you tell us when you're ready next time get out this conversation Hell yeah, we're live if we started we'll start. Yeah, we'll start fuck it. No Hell yeah, we're live if we started we'll start. Yeah, we'll start fuck it. No

Six, huh? Yeah, I do. I have a six. I finally got all my who I can't wait for a tear So those stuff coming to the states. Well, New Balance will be safe. Yep. That's it. I know They're all gonna cave I'm pretty reliable every country's gonna cave everybody's gonna be like we're sorry here. Yeah here We'll make sure you mean every country's gonna cave cave, dude gonna be like, we're sorry, here. Yeah. Here, we'll make sure you make money. Every country's gonna cave, dude. They're gonna be like, in Europe, they're gonna be like, we cave in fucking China. They're gonna be like, we came in Africa.

They're gonna be like, we cave. And in- Every accent is terrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and- Yeah, it's not, it's a lot. And then- Don't, like, how about this? Don't say the country, do the accent,

and let us pick the country. Okay, what's this one? What's this one? Uh, uh, uh, are we a Japan see how we go I brought it. I brought it wait exactly You had to bring it We said after we died I brought the best out of you Can we said after his voice just got deeper we came no, but he was being lazy Yeah, you just said it then was I'm killing brother. How fast in it. We had to fill in the work I'm chilling I saw Nick in real chilling. I saw Nick in real life.

Oh you did? I saw Nick in real life. Oh, Nick came to the Laugh Factory? Yeah, he was at the Laugh Factory. He didn't even know I was there. I didn't know he was there. I didn't understand the group chat cause like surprise guest.

Yeah, I was a surprise guest. He did not know. For whose show? It was the Laugh Factory, just the weekend show. Oh, okay. Yeah. And then he didn't know I was gonna be there. And I didn't know he was there. And then Kevin got upset. He's like, thanks for the invite. And there was this whole thing. And I Yeah, and then he didn't know I was gonna be there and I didn't Kevin got upset He's like, thanks for the invite and there's whole thing. I and I went take me out of this group chat

I purposely don't invite Kevin every time though and But I always it is always weird to see Nick in real life because he's tall You don't think Nick is tall. He's dressed up today But he's then how about our boy made that cool like Muppet Babies video? Nick hated it. He's like, oh God, that's what I look like? I'm like, as a Muppet? Yeah, dude.

Well. It spurred me to get a haircut. I just looked like shit. I said that because I thought it'd be dope. I was like, look, he's making a video of the show. And Nick's like, oh God. Dude, I saw it. I go, what?

He goes, that's what I look like. Dude, he's very, I look like I haven't watched it did Nick think it was the podcast I saw it and I thought it's fantastic pretty much a month is this AI or is he building these muppets gotta be a it's AI it's like I think he writes a script and then it's our voice is it not actual audio no there's there's a. No, it's our actual audio. Oh, it is. I haven't watched it yet. Oh. Oh, what do you mean you haven't watched it yet? I was waiting. I gotta tell you about how my car blew out a tire

on the freeway. All right, I can't wait. Electric. That's cool, and then also. That's what you look like as a Muppet, though. No, I'm basically a Muppet. That's what I do. Yeah.

Why doesn't, I have gray in my beard, and Chris is like, he's 31 in this. I know, I know, I know. I had nothing, I was- No, I love that you can run a mile. Running a mile is fucking hard. Dude, I can't. Okay, okay.

You're you. I was working out. I'm not gonna do it. It's fucking hard, I don't like doing it. I want this. Change it out. Just a door profile. No, no, no, no.

I'm going to the bathroom. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to the bathroom. They're laughing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to go, no, keep going! the laughing yeah anything to add over there from the peanut gallery you got a headband with a fucking chair

that's amazing that's amazing dude no no I don't like this you shouldn't have said it bro, that guy's so good Did the AI thing of me rogue and all those oh, he's so good. Hey guys crazy, bro I mean, you know, I know it's a talk right now of everything, but it's just so insane They can do I still don't understand it. I know we won't Episode to like make like one thing.

I know and this guy, this guy just falls asleep, dreams it and wakes up and then it's there. Dude. We need you to get on it, Nick. No, no, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick,

Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, way. Scott Welch, thank you. That dude's good, yeah. Yeah, so he did the Rogan ones. Okay, cool.

Oh, I look at all that. Scott Welch. Nice. He's been doing deep fake face swaps for six years. And now- Oh, that guy! Yeah, now AI just- Oh, he's not the guy who did the Marvel Super Heroes thing. Is he?

I don't know. I don't know. I love that guy. He did one of me and Rogan and't know. I don't know. I love it. He did one of me and Rogan and Callan. I love all that. Dude. Yeah, he's so good. Shout out to that guy.

What's up with how, oh man, I'm losing it. I'm losing it. I'm losing it. CT. I'm losing it. Damn it, I lost it. Oh. You know how that happens?

Too many thoughts. You just gotta let it go, right? Yeah, and when you try to save it. I get pissed, though. Oh, you know how it happens to make you just gotta let it go, right? Yeah, and when you try to save it, I get pissed though Yeah, I get pissed right like I was gonna be good But then I go like this you you can you can you know, so the that product is gone But the product maker isn't I'll have another good thought. Yeah, right. Yeah, you you know what I'm saying? Yeah, don't be too hard. You can destroy the toy, but I'm a toy maker. Right?

Yeah. So just wait, just wait to see what I got coming up in the pipeline. I'll be on tour. I added so many, oh wait, yo, look at how many days. That's great. Seattle this weekend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be at Laff, Seattle, Friday and Saturday.

If you're in Seattle, fly over to Denver. I'll be in Denver. Dude, okay. So I got Casper and Cheyenne and all these Atlanta, Boston, New York, but look at all these go down. Look at how it goes. What would you look at all the way? Keep going. Starting from where? Pittsburgh, Washington, Tulsa, where are these places? Pensacola. I'm going to go there. That's pretty famous. Yeah, I know it is. Waco. Look, you know what that's famous for. Waco, Texas? Yeah.

Yeah, a bunch of murder. Uh, Omaha. That inspired the Oklahoma City bombing. Brother, Waco, Texas is where that guy was from who had the fucking shootout with the cops. You're talking about the Davidians? Yeah, the compound. Yeah, the Davidians, yeah.

Yeah, what a pimp, dude. Man, man. No, no, no, no, don't say he's a pimp. Come on, he killed a bunch of people. He had a bunch of people killed. No, he didn't kill a bunch of people. No, no, no, no, don't say he's a pimp. Come on. He killed a bunch of people He had a bunch of people kill no culture. He didn't kill bunch people. I know US government did Oh, I know. I don't know. I know. Oh, no, this is facts I know I know about the and then they'll go more than Timothy McVeigh was like what the fuck and that inspired Oklahoma Anyway, I'll be in Waco, Texas. Go to crystal. Yeah calm

No, but we've got a new cult coming there. That's a that's a congratulations coat. We're gonna be there So we need no cult and name one cult that it ended well, that's mine the first cult where it doesn't dude I'm the first cold house. It's just there's no end of times We just chill right the single people suck each other off the married people are just cool living each other in With each other in harmony, dude. It's really nice That sounds kind of cool grass. Is that the sales pitch for the call? I'm working on it's really nice The slogan it's really nice. It's really nice as a good slow. Yeah Crystal ea.com for those two. I got so many new days Chicago. I'm gonna be in dude and then New York

That's next week though, but yeah Dude that fucking that song bangs you ever hear that song slaps and you hear that song now and you go Oh, yeah, it's it's still bangs. Oh, did you see Kanye West? I'm out sucking his cousin's cock. I don't Here's the thing I think I've been podcasting 15 years. Listen man. I'm I'm done with him. Yeah, so no, I'm not it's getting so good. No matter what he does at this point now I'm just like, oh, okay. This is like Eric on loss, bro. He jumped out season two No now I'm back on the Nazi stuff I was like, now I'm back on the Nazi stuff. I was like, all right, man, how long are we going to do this? He's like, yeah, what else can I do? Oh yeah. My name is Ye and I suck my cousin's dick. I was 14. My favorite is my

name is Ye and I suck like it's the beginning of a documentary. You wouldn't watch that? No, no, I'm not saying, well, actually I don't think so. That's just like- Yeah, me neither. Wow. To me, this feels like, this is like, oh, you know why I went crazy and did all that Nazi stuff and ruined my career and all that stuff? It's because of my cousin. Right, all right, right, right, right. So now we're going to be, now he's on his redemption tour. I'm for it.

This is all just too much. America's pretty forgiving, especially when you're talented. We're not supposed to know all this stuff. We're not supposed to know all this stuff. That's my pro, that's my thing. We're not supposed to know all this stuff. We're not supposed to know that. Oh, now you're mad. I'm not, I'm not mad.

We're not mad, it's just I'm over it. We're not supposed to know a lot of the stuff that comes out, you know? You're telling me you don't want to know Kanye's a little fucked up in the head because he was sucking his cousin off at 14? No, honestly, no. I don't, and I don't even want to know anything about Kanye

except for music. Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. When he made College Dropout, was that after the Dick Sucking or before? Yeah, exactly. Well after. Oh, it was after. Well, I don't know. So he was like... Well, who knows? He might still be sucking. So he was okay when he was working with Jay-Z When he was uh you know he wouldn't he when he was like to you know Considered a genius and all that was it after the dick sucking or before I saw my cousin dick anyway That fucking what's that one? I've never heard that be you have I can't say the title in Paris. What I'm trying to say is he was fine. He was fine.

Yeah, now you know, just realize he made some slappers and he's gone. He was fine. Yeah, well, he was fine for 10 years. Wow. Look at this. Kanye West. Oh my god look at his face is Hilarious the important part to correct. Well, that is is that AI that you shouldn't be doing that on TV, huh? It says Kanye West to his cousin

That's big balls. Yeah, his cousin's in prison for life, huh? I Don't murder What? Yes cousin murdered a pregnant lady. Oh, you didn't read the whole tweet, bro. Come on, bro. I was out at This is this Eric's problem. I was done with when he was he was in the black KKK outfit. I was out He goes my cousin that's locked in jail for life. I sucked off He killed a pregnant lady a few years after I told him we wouldn't look at dirty magazines. Okay, man We're kind of jumping all over. Yeah. Well, it's a forget dirty magazines. He killed a pregnant lady a few years after I told him we wouldn't look at dirty magazines. Okay, man We're kind of jumping all over the place. Well, it's a full get dirty magazines

He killed a lady Jesus Christ, and then I sucked them off. There's a lot on back there. Thank don't think don't think Wow There's just too much pain and suffering, huh? Like just I don't know I saw the over sharing like just well just create slappers yeah but it's but like remember like right yeah but you could do like subtle over sharing song with innuendos don't put a tweet out about it and don't have the lyrics be I sucked my cousin's dick no you could as long as the beat slaps bro I gave my cousin a hit I mean dude, yeah, you didn't even there's no way you into it

I don't make it up. Yeah, what's the fucking song? You should call it don't you only call it don't What's the what's the song Where they it's about school shooters and you didn't realize it until way later Oh this one kicks with the rockin out to that till they're like, wait a minute and they were like, hey It's about Columbine. You can't outrun a bullet. Y'all. Oh, that's rocking out to that till they're like, wait a minute. And they were like, it's about Columbine. You can't outrun a bullet, y'all. Oh, that's so dark. Dude, make it like that.

Because it slaps. It did slap, and then you realize you go, ooh. I don't think he's about music anymore. He's not. Even Blink-182, is it the, I never thought I'd die alone, y'all. Did you just die? You just died. That was death.

You know that slapper. That was death. You know that slap right there. You think you slap right there? I can't. You could even do it to the same beat. Pumped up kicks, sucked his dick. I don't know. All the kids sucked dick and the pumped up kicks. I think the beginning of the avalanche was that, you're such a fucking, I love it. Oh, that's loud. It did, it did.

And he's in the suit. But it was a little much and you go, oh, okay. And then it was just that it just became a huge. Well that's a real mind fuck. I like to get sucked, I like to get fucked. When you listen into a slapper, and then all of a sudden, you learn what it's about. Right, right.

Then you just feel like, ah. That's what I'm saying, yeah, no I know. Yeah, but kind of just listen to it and bob your head and keep looking into it. Would you listen to, you would still fucking put on Call of Dropout and be like fuck yeah. All day. Yeah.

We still listen to Michael Jackson. No, I would listen to Michael Jackson. No, I would, I would listen to the, to call a drop out, but, but yeah, I, I don't know. You're such a fucking how I love it. That song fucking bangs, dude. It wasn't around long enough though. Huh? No, that was when it was like three months. Quick, quick. And then you knew he was, you know, a little pump was going to be gone and he died. No, but you know, he was just going to little pump was gonna be gone and or what is that he died no, but you know

He was just gonna fade out. Yeah, because they don't have talent they use they use all the fucking computerized I just want to know what's going on with like to his naked chick like apparently she was trying to commit him or something Yeah, that's why I broke up with her. Yeah Like sort of person that is most closest to you Who is a little off herself fine as hell hell, you're not gonna listen to her? She's like, oh, I love you and I want you to, you should get some help. Well, we're assuming that's what they're saying.

Well, maybe. Who knows how crazy she is. Maybe she's part of the problem. She's dressing naked, you know? There is something about that. Do we have a problem with that? I'm not saying that. No, no, no, that's not what we're talking about.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't talk about her motivation for it. Come on, you know what's up. The motivation for like, why was she doing that? Was he forcing her? Or does she want to do it? She was a part of the crazy and then woke up one day like, I love doing this, we're raging against the machine,

here's my titties. And then he's like in a Klan outfit and she was like, oh no. She was like, oh no, you weren't? Well, he was probably like, put this hood on, this pointy hood. And she's like, well, I don't want to do that. We were like, no, put it on with your tits out. Yeah. Well, I think when it turned, when the whole, the whole Swastika stuff and the Jewish stuff,

that was already too much. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But that was, that was after the naked stuff with Bianca. No, no, no, no. I'm just saying. It was like, we're naked, we're naked, we're naked. We're doing this or making. Well, whatever. I just, you know, either way I'm going to be in Waco, Texas.

So gay tickets at Chrisley.com. And Seattle this weekend. Fly to Denver, go, either way I'm going to be in Waco, Texas. So, gay tickets at ChrisLay.com. And Seattle this weekend. Fly to Denver. Go to Denver. I'm moving to Denver. If you're in Denver, fly to Seattle. No, no, no. Let's take a little break guys because the future is bright.

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He was there. Yeah, we have not there. I don't know if he was there or not. He's at WrestleMania. I was in Kansas. I was in Kansas city this weekend and the club owner, he was there. That's crazy. Uh, who's in the rest.

Are you a WW guy? Really? Nick? I figured like early nineties. Yeah, me too. And then we grow up and we're like, Oh, he was there. That's crazy. Who's into wrestling? Are you a WWE guy? Really, Nick? I figured. Like early 90s. Yeah, me too. And then we grow up and we're like, oh, it's fake. I'm gonna go watch the real thing. When I was 13, I did not think adults

were gonna be watching it. No, and like diehards too. Like, can you believe John Cena's 17 time world champion? I'm like, what? He's got a hair transplant. He admitted it. John Cena. But see, for me, the first time I-

He had trouble for his slang in his 4 time for GT the first time I ever watched wrestling I remember it very vividly. It was Saturday morning You know both Whatever does this end with you suck your cousin's dick I want to hear what happened. I am out know what happened I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I want to hear what happened. I am out. No, what happened? You guys are the worst.

I want to hear it too, but I want to hear it from your cousins. You saw Macho Man Randy Savage, you were jacking off. Keep going. Oh, come on, what happened? No, please, share. Please, where's, I'm waiting for the muppet thing

to come up with this bullshit. This is basically that. My first memory is watching wrestling with my grandma and uncle. It was when Macho Man Randy said- They wrestled together? How's that feel? Come here, sonny.

Great. It's been great. No, this is a tender story. Go on, let them ruin it. Jake the Snake put Macho Man in the role. Then you were jacking off your grandma. No, no, no, it's too far. Come on, man.

That was the black smoke. That was the black smoke. Come on, get in it. No, man, no. Eric, that's too much. Then he That was a black smoke. No man, no. Then he was eating out his grandma and he was like black smoke monster. I was going to say the first one was a bad cause jacking off a woman that doesn't mean that he went worse. Yeah.

He did go worse. He went full Kanye. He went full Kanye. That's what happens when you go full Kanye. Uh, okay so this is just What was happening? They're trying to get away from because the what? I think they're going down. Oh my god Guys out of shape. Oh, no

Stuff save my hoagie. Oh, no, he's that out of shape He's like they just keep coming then skinny guys like watch out to watch away at the end he's like I'm done so this is the only way out oh this would take forever bro no it wouldn't all those people all those people on the laughter trying to get on the up yeah that's what they're going on the down. He throws his hoagie. What a fuck, dude. That's it, huh?

That would be it? After that, your life, you change your whole life? Right? Yeah. You'd have to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Yeah, because this is a zombie apocalypse.

He's fucked. Yeah, but don't say that. Just honestly, the guy's going to die of heart disease. This is the worst kind of zombie apocalypse, because these are just you know they're shame zombies you know. What do you mean? They're just sitting there looking at them they're like you can do it fatty! Yeah yeah yeah it's the real-life zombie instead of you're a fucking fat fuck. Oh no don't let them hear you go run So Yeah, the so did he die or he will he will he's still there. Yeah. Yeah I never show that it would be one of those warnings on the video before I worked out

You always got a click on no, I love it. I worked out yesterday and It just you know, it gets harder, you know, you know what? I'll tell you you probably have experience with this but like Because you know No, but I'm saying he's been different weights, right? You've been all different weights. It's it's way harder to work out when you're heavier You're stronger though. No, no, I'm saying like cardio wise. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. It's crazy. Yeah, right It's crazy bro. It's crazy. Right? I mean, I'm like 10 pounds will do a lot to me.

I'm like, oh fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really wild. It's interesting. Yeah. So I usually try to, I try to, you know, it's hard to keep my dick out of it, but it's, you know, to 20 pounds that it adds

and I have scoliosis because of it. So it sucks. I take a lot of breaks and I have scoliosis because of it. So it sucks. I take a lot of breaks and I sit on my balls. Wasn't quite the gym you thought that was going to be. I enjoyed it. To be honest, I think when that plays on the podcast, it's going to be, it's going to be a banger. Yeah.

It's a slapper. Yeah. That'll be the, there'll be a muppet doing that. Yeah. Live, it wasn't good, but the podcast was great like that. Banger yeah that's a slapper yeah that'll be that they'll be a muppet doing that yeah live it wasn't good but the podcast was great like that since we may have just witnessed Shaq shitting his pants on live tv i think you saw this last night it was funny i haven't seen it you all right big fella you know catching the crap go ahead keep talking jack that's that olive oil you've been drinking.

I know. Hey, take some matches with you. He just ran off live on TV. When you got to go, you got to go. What are you going to do, bro? He's not sitting on a toilet. He's also 400 pounds. It's a half hour show.

Just sit there. Well, when it's that, it must have been really bad. Yeah, yeah. And it really bothers me that it says TNT and then Kia, and it's like TNT, K-I-A on the thing. It's too many letters, like pick one, put Kia somewhere else. There's too many logos.

I think I'm autistic. But I don't. Yeah, no shit. I don't like that. That is too many letters together. I still wanna see you on Love on the Spectrum. You imagine just cleaning up Joe Paterno, yeah, he did the same thing back in the day ran across again again

This is a battle of middle of the game. Is that Joe running all the way across the field? Is Joe Paterno in the end zone? Is he going to the bathroom? Joe Paterno is leaving the field. Fuck this. Come all the way across his offensive line and huddle. He must have to go so bad to run in the middle of the game. Yeah, in football, great art in football, you shit your pants. You don't leave. No, that would, no. Smashmouth football. He couldn't have shit his pants right there.

You don't leave, dude. If I'm a coach, I don't leave. I shit myself while coaching. I have autism. I have autism, for sure. No doubt. But I would do that. What? I've left the stage twice to go.

I've done that once. Yeah. I had to really go. I knew things were different. Once in Houston. Oh man. I was in San Jose. And I was on the stage and I was like, oh.

In mid-joke, I was like, oh did in mid joke I was like oh guess what I'm you know what then I went Frank! You know the middle I was like Frank get up here! I did it twice I did it twice I did once in Houston I'll be back in Houston but I did it once in Houston and I had no idea and then halfway through I was like oh no and then recently I did it like a year ago I don't remember where I was but I was on the road with Denny and I had I had eaten pineapple before I went on stage and drank a full coffee and so I I didn't know it was gonna happen but I know, I should have really while you were doing it You were like it was good. So good though, huh?

Yeah, dude, and so I Go, oh, you know what I go Danny and he comes up on stage and he'd finish and then he was like and then afterwards he was like, oh, I Was shitting when you called me? And I was like, that's hilarious. So he had to hurry up. It was great. So you go back. I know they love it. Yeah, yeah funny yourself I don't remember where it was but that sucks when that has to happen. Yeah happens to me One time I was in the comic-star main room it you I don't have 15 minutes That's the thing though. It's hilarious. It was a 15 minute set. But what was happening was I started pacing?

I had to guide the P real bad, so you're pacing. And I'm doing the jokes fast, and I'm waiting for the light, like, oh shit. And it was like, it just, I wish I had a tape of that because I just was doing it so different. What if you found out that that was the way to where you, like, that made, you started getting, like, really recognized. And people are like, it's like the Happy Gilmore. Like, oh dude, you gotta go on stage.

You gotta, you gotta have, wanna burst your pants. You gotta piss. Yeah. You gotta wait. Drink, drink. You gotta go on stage. It's just the Happy Gilmore, like, dude, you gotta go on stage. You gotta have, wanna burst your pants. You gotta piss. You gotta wait, drink, drink. You gotta go on stage. It's just a weird feeling. But I never had to piss that bad. I know, but when I was younger, I always felt like my body. You usually get up there and you forget about it, yeah?

No, that's not that bad. I think your body locks up for the adrenaline and everything you're doing when you're performing. You know, usually it's like, you just, you don't think, outside shit doesn't matter. Remember when that fucking woman fell on stage and bonked her head and she was talking about the vaccines It's so like dude, whatever Whoever the fuck that person is that shit was hilarious. It's so funny. She's like get on fire

dude like double vaxxed, booster, flu shot, and I'm gonna be honest, I have the shingle shot too. And I still get my period. What? Yes! Traveled, went to Mexico twice. Oh, it's starting to happen. Did shows, meet and greets. You can tell it's starting to happen. Never got COVID. Clearly, Jesus loves me the most. Oh, it's starting to happen. Never got COVID, clearly. Starting to happen. Jesus loves me the most.

Oh, it's starting to happen, you can tell. Jesus goes, all right, bitch, enough. So nice. What? So nice. Here she goes. Fuck. Oh, fuck. It's not funny.

It is not. No, she's fine now, that's funny. She's fine now, yeah. That's hilarious. She's also an asshole. She still fucking talks so much shit. Here's the issue right now. In this moment right now, like what sucks about it is the crowd's like,

what a bit, you know what I mean? Idiots are. Yeah, but there's some parts you don't know. Cause maybe you're thinking, maybe you're in the crowd, like, you know, maybe you think she's doing satire on, she shouldn't have taken all those vaccines You know what I mean? Timing was good. Oh, yeah, you you probably shouldn't have done all that. The vaccines got timing. Yeah, you know

You know, it's weird as I just did the funniest gig in Florida. That was memorable in the last six months I did a gig where I I covered for her. Hmm. They call me last minute. She's still having issues a week. Sorry. She took another vaccine She's long Kovac. It's really fun. Yeah, that's weird. That's funny that that's her. Yeah, she Yeah, she probably got a concussion from that. Oh, bro. Are you kidding? Yeah, she's lucky. She didn't die Yeah, just I was a from this that was a bad and she's not short. No, no, no, she's tall. It was a long way long way to go I uh, well, you know, I'm glad she didn't die but that's yeah Wow, yeah Why are the odds though? I got all the vaccines. I'm fine. I'm not here. We go. Yeah the odds

No, the odds are are pretty crazy to be talking about the thing and then have that happen is insane. It's just. Foushee was like, fuck. Where is Foushee? Are you kidding me? Foushee goes like this. And that's what made her fall. He had a button.

He's in hiding. Why is he hiding? He got his partner. He has his money. He has his money. Everything's so crazy, bro. It's weird. I don't like that shit Oh, I love it. I love it. What you get? No, come on, bro That's what you get bro play stupid game win stupid talk shit about me and I don't I don't even like to see no

No, no, no, she's oh, she's fine. So that's why I get it now She was actually hurt. Yeah, and I can't do stand-up anymore than I'm about guy. That's that that's fucked up. She's fine No, it's like that's what you get. She couldn't do stand-up anymore like but that's you know, 30 people would be upset people in the crowd Now what are you gonna feed? Yeah, yeah do the fainting one. It's like Bert taking a shirt off. She has to faint every show Hey, I was actually just gonna bring that up Bert taking a shirt off. She has to faint every show. Hey, I was actually just going to bring that up. Bert with the shirt off thing. Has he? He's got it in shape. Has he always done that?

No, he didn't. No, he didn't. No, he did it once. And then the feeling he got from it, he's talked about it. He like got it. And people thought it was a party. People started doing it. And he's like, oh, and just started doing it.

And then now it's become like the Ellen thing. Of course, it's a good move career-wise a good we got a rare. I get it so but he has to stop doing that at some point 70 maybe even better For what it is. It's not like he's a rock star Then you gotta go you go like Mick Jagger a certain right okay more okay, but like for that that makes it even better Okay, you know he's gonna be okay if he's 70 comes out of stage and everybody's gonna be like is he gonna do it? It's always gonna be good. Okay, so I think it gets less funny cuz he's getting in better shape Like he said he benched 335 like he's getting better. He's not a TRT. Come on, bro. Better shape is like he's not ripped

Still funny. He was losing some of the beer gut, but let's say he got shredded that ain't funny You take your shirt off. I think that's how we're fucking up. Oh You're already front row. Yeah. No, I think that but I began because of who it is where he came from that would that's what? Everything would be about yeah, yeah, so he would take his shirt off and be in really great shape like the guy's real life since the fucking Yeah, the Scottish guy. Well, I'm saying I think it's always gonna be a thing. It's always gonna work. For Burt. But still though, I understand it always being funny, but the sadness of it afterwards, you know what I mean? Like when you're 70 and you go get off stage

and your shirt's off, I guess your money, you don't give a fuck you got your money, huh? Yeah, fuck it. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Yeah, I would agree. Yeah, you came around. Oh, I'm just thinking about it out it. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Yeah, I would agree. Yeah, you came around. Oh, I'm just thinking about it out loud.

Yeah, you came around. You came around. But the thing is- I'm real, bro. It's not a thing where you have to like- You're making toys? It'd be different if it was like, you know, you're doing a back flip,

or it's a kind of thing where you just like, you feel like, ah, I gotta do that thing. It's not like that. It's not like Jaleel White, okay? It's not like- Right, right, it'saleel White, okay? It's not like- Right, right, it's not, no, yeah. You know what I mean? Who's a good buddy of mine.

It's like, but you know, that's not something you wanna do all the time. What was he doing? No, I'm saying, will you always have to be Urkel? Oh yeah, be Urkel. That's different. Oh no, but be Urkel. You know, but I'm saying that's where you,

the feeling you probably- Yeah, he pocket-dodged me wrong. I picked up, he said, did I do that? Right, right. Every time he would have, you know what I mean? Yeah. He has to do that. That's good. It's gonna play well on the podcast. What's, or it's like Geller, Gelliger. You think he wanted to fucking break those fucking watermelons? Sorry, Michelle Gelliger. Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to say, thank you. Thank you. What's his name?

Gallagher. Gallagher. Gallagher, bro. Oh, my bad. I had to pull a reference out from the seventies. He's the most famous guy who ever smashed watermelon. So he's the only guy. Well, they say his brother pretending to be him. Yeah. Gallagher. That was Gallagher. That was who he was talking about guys. He's like, it's a, it's a, it's like a, you know, one of those bands, tribute band, tribute band.

Let's take a break here dudes My nuggets gonna win it all. No they not. The NBA 82 game grind is done way too many games, right? And now the real fun begins the NBA playoffs are here and the Nuggets gonna take the crown So if you're waiting, I hope so. They lost last night great. It's 1-1 They should have lost the first game too. Whatever we won Listen if you want to bet on the playoffs and bet on my nuggets They lost last night. Great. It's one one. They should have. They should have lost the first game too. Whatever we won. Uh, listen, if you want to bet on the playoffs and bet on my nuggets, you can do it with DraftKings Sportsbook. They got you covered. The official sports betting partner, the NBA,

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Crazy guy is that guy that mr. Like just trying to stop his aging. Oh, dude I don't know you know that guy bothers me Yeah, I guess you don't hate you don't look good. You look terrible. Well in comparison to where he did and you, and you will go out in the sun and shit. No, he's not healthy. That guy's not the epitome of hell. I don't what, so somebody's like, can you, he's like, can you believe I'm 50? He looks 50 dude. If you look at his face, what was he look 20? He doesn't look 20. What's he look 30? He doesn't look 30. He also doesn't look healthy. What's he look 30? He doesn't look 30. He also doesn't look healthy

No, he looks bad. He looks like this is the whole thing. I don't get it I don't it's not about oh you look young you look bad. No, you look like a malnourished vampire. Okay, but I'll say this though He is just like David Blaine in this way. Yeah. This is all an experiment that he's doing and he's the guinea pig. So it's not even like maybe he thinks he looks good or not. No, he's literally trying to see if he can stop aging.

Right. And we'll find out. So he does all this stuff. Like it's a crazy regimen. Yeah, I know, I've seen it. I'm like, no thank you. No, it... I barely wanna take this multivitamin. I take I forget

Bro or like you go to the road you go Right, right, right. I'm like now wait till I get I guess I'll die early You know or I have this like I have I have this good You know this like organic protein shake shit that I'm like, I'm gonna take a shake every morning Instead of eating some fat breakfast, you're right And then you know two days go by four a week. I have it on a subscription so when new one comes I'm like fuck! I guess I gotta drink three today. Fuck I got too much of this shit. So I can't even imagine I was watching this documentary and I was like my god my god I've know like in the morning I have to do this this this this this and this and

then I have to take an afternoon I do that he's not living No, but that's what I'm saying it's an all an experiment so maybe in the end He'll get shot. He comes up with something that he's like learn from it. No, no, no I'm saying he might come up with something that we go. Oh now he's selling a drink that actually works Maybe in like ten years he discovered something but in the meantime He's the guinea pig. Yeah, I get it. And it like it looks crazy. You just you look you look so bad, you know his You know, his breath is horrid. Yes You could smell it from across the room you go fucking guys gonna show up you're like be 12

I mean, yeah, but he looks good. You go, no he doesn't. You don't believe in soap and shit, right, for his body? But here's the thing, bro. Rarely somebody looks good. Rarely somebody looks good. There's that. When you hit 37, everything after that,

I don't care how you work out, I don't care how you look, I don't care what you do, you're still gonna be, oh, you look good for your age. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what, you hit that mark, where're still gonna be, oh you look good for your age. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what, you hit that mark where you're like, oh you look good for your age.

But what if he comes out in like 10 years and he's like, oh this whole younger thing, I sucked my cousin's dick at 14. Right, that's why. And we're like, oh we forget. Dude, this is an epidemic. You know what, Brendan's the exception. But it's not a surprise.

What do you mean? I'm saying, if he said he was 28 right? Thank you. I could believe that but that you know, but you're always gonna be You can work the fuck out people gonna be like Yeah, but nobody here's but it's because he's fucking all puffy and shit don't try bringing me down but I got nothing yet not now easy but but dude he's because he doesn't have wrinkles because he's all fucking puffy, bro No, but it's like Yeah, but there's a certain like there's certain like when a man like gets to a point where I don't care like yeah I get it have surgery. There's no turning back. There's no turning nothing you can do

I totally agree with him what a guy's like you start early. No, he looks 50 50 that just is doing some shit. That's all that is look I've always looked older than my age and now I still do you know you have any well Hey, can you ever catch? Now I still do you know you have me well Guy talking at a party you buy get the fuck out of here. It's weird. It's weird, bro You know his breath you'd be like he's so close He you know he's right here, and you're like I don't care that you weren't did all that shit, and he's that you know you had a fancy party everyone's dressed up But he's just in a white

I'll be right back. I gotta take some of these. Yeah. Dude, he's got an IV with him, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everywhere he goes, he's got like, you know, I don't know. I mean, the... That guy's gonna die before all of us. Somebody's gonna fucking strangle him.

You literally have to be surprised. Like, you literally, like, when's the last time that's happened to you guys? Anybody in here. What, what? You meet someone, and you're like, damn, this person looks great. Then you find out that they're like 15 years older than you thought.

Mike Young used to be like that. Now he looks a little older, but Mike Young, I was like, oh, you're fucking 50? Yeah, no, there's some. Like Frank Grillo, who'll surprise you. He's in insane shit. But yeah, how old is he? Dude, he's Calhoun's age.

50, what is 50? That's pretty good. Yeah. There's certain guys you're like, god damn, you're only- Oh, Chin. Chin's 104. What's that's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah, there's certain guys you buy god damn your own Oh chin Yeah, chins a fossil Chins a fossil is a good example and you don't realize it. Oh Looks terrible See no bags been working it been working it over there.

And you don't realize Chin's age, so you ask him to Google something, and he puts on his glasses, he's all like, oh no. He goes like this. And you're like, K-Bin! Can you Google something? He says, I have encyclopedia Britannica. I saw Calvin at the airport.

But I get a text from him, and he's like, it's like rude text. Well. Like super rude. And I'm like, what the fuck's up with this guy? But I look up, and he's like it's like rude text Well like super rude and I'm like fuck's up with this guy, but I look up and he's standing right there That's funny. What are you doing? The shit that he Was so rude. I was like, why would you say that to someone? Yeah, I said, are you okay? Right across yes He did let's see. Let's see what he sent me recently. I talked to tell him about this

I'm gonna tell you the same thing. Whenever somebody reads group text messages, it's never funny to the outsiders. I disagree, I think I- No, Brian reads his and Will Sasso's all the time, and when I say it ruins the podcast. Brian is not, he does it bad probably. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? No, you can try, go ahead. Brian's fucking hilarious. He's great, but his texts are not it's not about yeah yeah it's not about even necessarily the texting it's like on text get it you know what it is get a clue on when to bring it up he doesn't bring up stuff in the at the right times bro yeah you're probably never brings dude we would be doing a bit on like 10 minute podcast and then he would just like it would be like full-fledged. It would be like oh we were like oh, we're gonna kill it

We know where the railing and then he's just gonna be like tear. I have HIV and you're like dude Now we have to do that bit. Yeah, you fucking ruin both bits. Wait your turn. Yeah, we'll do that bit, too so anyway Bit killer Jones that's where that came from. Yeah, Bit Killer Jones. Bit Killer Jones, bro. Wow, Bit Killer Jones, dude. What a bunch of fucking idiots.

But he was though, he was Bit Killer Jones, bro. Been sitting on this for a while. It's too late though. Yeah. Speaking of not knowing when to bring it up. Jesus Christ, that's actually great. That's the best one you've ever done, it was just too late. Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Look at that, Eric! That's Eric! That could be you, Eric. Well, you know what I realized? Go ahead. Go to the Eric one. You know what I realized? No matter what, Eric is fucking ugly.

I knew Nick was gonna fucking. That's him getting back at you. You feel better? I knew Nick was gonna get. It was too mean, though. Yeah, I know, but that's why I knew Nick was gonna like it. God, look at Brendan, bro. why I knew Nick was gonna like it Look at Brendan, you know what you look like a twink bro. Look at you. You look gay as fuck

I looked gay. I looked gay, but you look you look like a raver cuz he's putting our face on a gay man's We're all but you don't think Eric looks gay. No, he looks like the asshole. Yeah, the guy that, you know, he looks like he has a brothel full of fucking young tweens. That's a thing of blood from the people I have locked away. You look like that guy. Oh, fuck, what's his name? SARS guard. Peter?

Not the... Oh, Eric Northman from True Blood. No, not him, not him, the him the other stars guard oh the guy from in glorious bastards him yeah that's you that's pretty good sorry hey guys it's like Smith over in Crystal like shit to be honest though. That really is kind of weird how that looks like that, right? He's gonna look you're fine looking bro. I'm I look so unhealthy. I Don't like anything about what that guy's doing. No, me neither. Callum wanted to bring him on the show.

I went, absolutely not. Of course he did. What, what, can you try and get younger? Fix your hair. No, but you know what the thing too is, is because the guy is so... About himself. Yeah, it's such a hippie-ish sort of like weird sciencey thing.

It's gonna be boring. You're just kinda like, it's gonna be boring because it's like he believes in Bigfoot, okay? And he's been working on this Bigfoot theory for years. And no matter what, he's gonna be like, no, Bigfoot exists, I'm gonna find him. And at a certain point you're like. We can't go anywhere.

So thanks for watching, you know what I mean? What am I supposed to say? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh cool, so you took that many vitamins? Thanks for watching, like, fuck it's so boring. Oh cool. So you took that many vitamins? Thanks for watching Fuck it's so boring It's like 10 minutes of him going over all his I go Brian you listen to that guy's great. Thank you listen to that guy

Thanks meat broth that new You know what guys thanks for watching the show the show. Let's go to ads. Let's go to DraftKings. You know what I mean? What are we doing? I think Brian was in communication with me. I go, see how many times you can bench 225 and get back to me. How much do you think Brian is trying to get in on it?

What did you say? What if Brian was trying to get in on it? Well, he is. Okay, so Brian is 58, right? He needs to fix his hair. He looks... That's fine, but he looks way better than that guy. But here's the thing too, though. This guy's trying to say he stopped aging, and they always have that like,

your true age, that computer thing. Here's your true age. It's always like, it's still three years off, right? So if you're 58, so now you look... 55. 55. People are going to be like, oh, you know, it's like,, Oh Still fucking 50 bitch Also, there's some there's some that's hilarious. Also, there's something different when dudes try to fight father time

You're like, what are you doing? Do this is gay. Yeah girls doing like I get it like growing dogs doing just like to quit I don't know man. Like no, no, but go ahead. No, no, go ahead. No, just even with girls though There is a stoppage. Oh for sure facts. You know what I mean? So there's so sometimes you like you see a chicken you like oh wow looking good, but the moment you can go Oh, she has some work done. It's Cinderella done. Yep. Yeah, you should yeah, you should stop Like you know who's the best JLo you cannot tell Yeah, how old is she? Is she 25? She 70.

God, I've never been a JLo fan. Cause you're a gay man. You don't think she's pretty? She is very pretty. Her body is, she's beyond, looks good for her age. She's beyond that. She got some, she's built different. She like the LeBron James of bad bitch.

Look, I get it. You know what I'm saying? She's very hot. It's like oneBron James of bad bitch. Look, I get it. You know what I'm saying? She's very hot. It's like one of those, it's a weird thing. It's like, it just doesn't... Bro, I know she's hot. Go back to that one. I like other hot chicks.

You stumped him, Chris, Nick, on this picture. Well, that's so much Photoshop. I mean, that's fake. She doesn't look like that. Yes, she does. No, she doesn't, bro. Yes, she does. That's her taking the picture. That's her ass

Was a different photo this woman right here is different from that that's for sure Photoshopped a lot and that's fine I'm not saying you know, look she's hot obviously She's a 10. She's a 10 Stream all the movies and shows you love for free on Pluto TV. Say what now? Showtime. That means drama is free with heart-wrenching stories from Love and Basketball, Power and Greenleaf. In this family, we live by the spirit. And laughter is free with gut-busting comedies like Pee and Peel, The Neighborhood, Everybody

Hates Chris and Boomerang. Watch all the hits all for free from all your favorite devices. Oh my God, I love it! Feel the free Pluto TV free from all your favorite devices. Oh my god Feel the freak Pluto TV stream now pay never But I'm not arguing she's not a ten. You're arguing that you're not attracted to it drives me. No, it's just my preference I oh, that's right. Bring up a coat hanger Nick. No, no, no, I find a lot of women Bring up a skinny coat hanger for Chris. I don't like skinny coat hangers.

Yeah, you do. Bring up a girl with no ass for Chris. Look at her. Fuck you, dude. It bothers me. There's Chris. Oh, that's hot. She's hotter than the coat hanger.

You just accepted that one. Look, she's obviously really bad right there, but a still picture is different than I'm saying like, you're with them, I don't know, she just, for me, she doesn't have that thing, that visceral like, fuck.

I know I'm- Yeah, cause she doesn't have a beard and a dick. Nah dude, I know that, I know that Yeah, because she doesn't have a beard and a dick. Nah, dude. I know that... I know that... You're out of your mind. I'm in the minority. I know that. And I am not...

No, only 2% of Americans get it. Well, you have to hit the TMZ picture. I'm not saying she's not beautiful. I'm not saying that. She's very hot. With the long lens, and you see the realness. To the right, Nick. The one she's...

It's two pictures back to back. She's tan in one, white in the other. Yeah, there you go. That's the like, you're on vacation and a long lens guy catches you and you're like, oh. The one on the right's doing a leap, but she's also bad. I know, but what I'm saying is that she's- Do we have a problem with either of those?

No, no, no. I don't have any problem with it. Let's get back on subject. The point is this. There's a certain point where it like, okay, you gotta stop doing this. You know, and I think for men it happens, it's so much more visible for men.

What do you think, for men, 40? No, no, but there's like, like for instance, Tom Cruise, you know? Like, I bet they spend millions of dollars on his face. To fix him in the movie. Oh, got it, yeah. You know what I mean?

And it's like. Maybe at this point, yeah. You know what I mean? But it's like now you're just kind of like, cause you know, but he's great. But like, if you put up the picture of him in the first Mission Impossible, and then you see him now and you're like,

oh wow, yeah, he has aged. Right, right, well we see him every week and a half. Yeah, yeah, so it's like he just stays, yeah, gradual. People just start to get old. But I think for men, it's like when they try to stop it, that's when it looks crazy. Well, also some people just age badly.

Some people just, they don't. No, that's weird. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Nick, the funniest shit ever. Did you ever? It makes so much context, it makes no sense. That ruined my day. But I love it. Yeah, baby.

I didn't even want him to do the first one. Woo. I don't like any of this. None of these make me feel good. I love this one. I don't like any of it. Donnie, give me a good. I love this one. I don't like any of it. Um. Donnie, give me a diet coke.

So Todd. So, um, yeah, I think that, uh, that is so weird. Nick did all that. Would you say something to your wife? If, if at like 45, your wife is younger, right? 36. There's a 45 star get work done. Would you say something?

Well, first of all, how would she get work done without asking me? Yeah. Well, yeah. She'll figure it out. What are we talking about? done would you say something? Well first of all how would she get work done without asking me? She'll figure it out. What are we talking about? No but the thing is like that's where you just you gotta oh man you gotta hey well let's well hold on are you like you know let's maybe we'll do yoga together or I don't know that's the one like I think yoga ain't fixing some faces and tits no no no I know but but I'm saying you have to be the one to be like, you know, you look beautiful, you know what I'm saying? You have to be- I mean, dude-

We have to be secure in ourselves. It's hard. You think your validation's enough? It's gonna have to be. It's a tough world out there. I'm not letting her out of the house. They're getting really good at certain things. Like lip injections used to look horrendous no matter what, and there are a lot of them look are like wow that looks really

even BBLs man you get that right it's like I know good for you girl I know I know but then it is a certain that they've been on that for a minute but yeah a certain point though we're gonna find out about all this stuff is gonna be like the Botox people that have done Botox yeah you look fucking crazy well it depends on how much I think It depends on how much later. It depends on how much I think. It depends on how much I think. I know, but there was a time when people were just doing it.

There's like 17-year-olds doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they'll overdo it. And now they look crazy. I'm not even going to mention a person. He died. Right, but you could, see, here's the thing, though. I think that's what he's talking about.

You could clearly, no, that's not what I'm talking about. But this is, you could clearly see that she got work done Like there's a certain point. Well, she looks like a saber tooth fucking tiger Yeah, they all know everybody that gets work done starts to look like they all have the same but sometimes yeah You'll see but yeah, I got down and that person is no I love And that's the guy from sleepwalker from Stephen King But I don't I feel like like sometimes you'll see a woman and you're like she just got it done and it like didn't settle yet and it looks bad and Then you'll see them a year later and you're like, oh they actually look way better. So I've never seen oh really?

I feel it always looks like this I'm saying it always looks like this It always they've had no that's that's that bitch got a full face then, like the movie Face Off. I'm sorry, my little nip and tuck. That's completely different than what you had. She got a new face. She's hearing a mask. But I think you just, you, you, you keep going.

You don't stop. It's, it's like, whatever we think the definition of youth is, like she thinks that that's the definition of youth when she was doing that. And that's not youth. Like whatever like you're scared of this lady. You know what when you see it and it's not this. You know people think that it's because I have wrinkles I look old. No, no, no.

There's something else. It's like whatever that thing is. Big ears. Whatever it is. She don't got it. Most people don't have it. And that's why they look like that. No, you look at that and you go, 75.

Right. Yeah. I'm not thinking like, I'm not thinking 40 right here. But you know what a 30 footer loop is when they don't do anything to their face and it gets all fucking old, but then their bodies are pained. That's when you're like, oh man, I'm conflicted right now.

I got a face of Brian Callan, body of J-Lo. That's cool. Nick. I'm conflicted right now. I'm gonna face a Brian Callen body of J. That's cool No, Nick Yeah, so it's like I don't know you know you like Wayne Newton Well, that's well, that's but that's too much. It looks crazy. I would never fuck him No matter what are there some good examples. Maybe when he was 30, but are there some some good examples but you don't know you shouldn't know that's when it's good brother my brethren but as you get older man you're gonna you know what I like to see is this this is one of my favorite things it's like I remember

back when I first started in the business and they'd be like some actresses or female comedians and they thought they were like, oh yeah, I'm the shit. That was 20 years later. Still not the shit. And I'm like, oh hey, you look great. Right, right, right, right. You shouldn't have been a cunt 20 years ago. You're talking about women.

Yeah, you shouldn't have been a cunt 20 years ago. You're talking about females. Now it's time to. old. Oh no. Yeah. Yeah. You should have known this was gonna happen. Women should always be nice. Yeah. Because they're. They like bananas. Yeah. You got it. Hey sweetie. Sweetie. We're gonna be around a long time. Yeah. And I'm gonna look fine. Oh, I love seeing that. Yeah. Yeah, but they all it's a one out of 30 or no one out of 50 will look Shops like from behind though Oh, damn! So I was like, from behind though. Yeah.

One out of 50, I suppose. One out of 50? What do you say? One out of how many women? Comics? No, no, no, no, just women. That they were like, wow. It depends what they get done.

No, not even. I'm not even talking about work or not. I'm talking about like, some women age very well. Exactly. Very well. You're like, wow. Helen Mirren is an example of a sexy old bitch. Like, some women age very well. Exactly. Very well. Selma Hayek. You're like, wow. Helen Mirren is an example of a sexy old bitch.

Yes. Yes. Helen Mirren can get it. I mean, you know. Bring her up, Nick. I was thinking like Selma Hayek. No, Selma Hayek. I'm 100% sure.

But she's still not 70. We're talking. She's 50 something. No, no, no. Selma Hayek's bad as fuck. She's banging. Yeah, she's still not, she's not 70. We're talking. She's 50 something. Yeah, no, no, no, no. She's on the high X-Bad. She's bangin'. Yeah, she's so. Fuck you guys.

Fuck you! Turn it, look. She says she's aged well. No, bro. If you don't think she aged well, dude, she's 70 something? She looks exactly the same. As?

She has some fucking Teddy Grahams on her for for for hold on I didn't know the titties were like that you ain't bad about it bro you don't know shit let me see what she was young Nick oh she was bad he was yeah she's a baddie just not her is it Wow holy. But some women, look, you're never gonna, obviously, no guy looks better at 75 than they do at 50. Right, right, right. But, you know, it's like, you're gonna, you wanna look good for your age, like you said.

Oh, but what we're saying too, though, is like, you know, I think people forget that life is gonna continue. Mm-hmm. Do they? And then, like, you know, you get to a certain point where you're like, oh, well, you know, you get to a certain point where you're like, oh well, you know, you weren't a nice person. Yo, this is fucked actually.

Only 15% of women show interest in five, eight men on dating apps. So you know that's 7%. Well, you know, I was gonna say 3%. Some women are like, yeah, but then. There's some lonely bitches out there like, yeah, I like to ask if he's nice. No, women, this is the thing I don't like about how like, yeah I can't ask if he's nice. No, women are...

That's the thing I don't like about how like, look, I know men are more superficial when it comes to looks, obviously, but it's like so annoying when women are like, men are so shallow and it's like, dude... We all are. Data five six guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what, it's a protection thing. I know, and I get it, I understand biologically.

But then you get a honey badger every now and then like Casey was under five eight. Yeah, real honey badger. No, he's fuming. Real honey badger. He's fuming over there. He's fuming over there. He's fuming over there. He's fuming over there.

He's fuming over there. He's fuming over there. He's fuming over there. He's fuming over there. He's fuming over there. He's fuming over there. He's fuming over there. He's fuming over there.

He's fuming over there. He's fuming over there. He's fuming over there. He's fuming over there. He's fuming over there. He's fuming over there. He's fuming over there. those two. But to your point like your wife wouldn't even engage with you if you were 5'5". I would have to. Not a chance. I would have to yeah it would be tough. I would have to be. On the other side of that like you wouldn't even holler your your girl's way if she was 300 pounds like my wife goes what happens if I get 300 pounds? I'm out. Not me bro Sweetie, you know this. If my wife gets 300 pounds, bro. Fuck yeah, bro.

We ain't doing, we are sitting at home and we are chilling and she gets to watch all these fucking J-Horror movies that I wanna watch and I just keep feeding her. I don't give a fuck, bro. I don't give a fuck. I don't want her to be 300 pounds, but if she's 300 pounds, oh bro.

You're never having sex. I'm never leaving though. No, she's becomes your fat friend at that point. Cool. All right. Let's parent together. Yeah. You're basically a gay man.

I don't give a fuck. I'm not leaving. Dude, I would stay with my wife, even if she was just a head. Bro, I don't give a shit. We're with each other. I'll get a bowling bag and put you in it and let's go. What I'm saying is preference seems to be only okay.

He's crazy, huh? Yeah, preference. I'll never leave, I'll never leave, bro. This is all about preference and I think everybody is allowed to have a preference. Yeah, dude, talk about types. Yeah, everybody had, like, you know, it's like, I used to do this on stage, I would like,

talk about preference and I would go to a white guy and be like, you ever dated a black girl? And like, you could tell. He goes, ew! You'll match. That'd be great. This show sucks. That would be so funny. But sometimes, you get a little culture, but I'm like, dude, it's fine. It's all good.

Your mom's white, your aunt's white, your sister's white. You like white girls. Right, right, right. It doesn't mean, you know what I mean? You want to keep the bloodline pure. I get it. It just is what it is. It's the same thing, but if a girl's white, like a guy.

Yeah, yeah. No, no, I know, I know, I know. But I just think that when a guy has a preference, all of a sudden, it's because of, this is why Trump won. Right, yes, it turns into this whole, yeah. It turns into a thing where it's like, you couldn't have preference. It's a deal with Joe, it's like, you know,

if a guy, you know, you don't like a short guy, you know? But then let's just turn it on the side. We don't like fat girls. It's the same. Oh, that's funny, yeah. Turn it on the axis. That's funny. That's funny. He's short, but then let's just turn it on the side. We don't like fat girls. Oh, that's funny. Yeah That's funny short Like Eric would you be with your girl she had like 350 pounds. Yeah, of course. No, I ain't leaving And you know, I'm not leaving bro. I'm telling you the truth. I ain't leaving dude if she's 300 pounds, bro Here's here's a difference. What's up? Here's a difference in my situation

Yeah, somebody might say to me somebody might say to me be like well, you know you you're a fat guy different No, no, you know, you know what but I came in fat. Yeah Yeah, well there she signed up for this I started like this. Yeah, she signed up for this You sign up for this. I don't want here. That's why I if your girl was like I'm in the bigger dudes and you got to like 150 pounds. She'd be like, what the fuck? That's like when, that's like when my wife is like, not everything's a joke. And I'm like, from the beginning, from the beginning, yeah, that's what you signed up. I had the same thing with Rachel. Rachel said,

it's like, you know, it's like, you know, you're, you know, you're teasing, you know, it's like, yeah, that's what got you wet. Then she would say, she would say to me like, you know, oh, this reminds me of my brothers. They used to tease me when I was growing up. I was like, that's why you. Yeah. That's what you know.

Welcome to the circus. Welcome to the circus. This is what we do. But anyway, all I'm saying is everyone is allowed to have preference. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't make you, you know.

I'll tell you what the issue is. Fabulous. No, no, no, no. You have a preference. And everything that's not your preference, you talk about negatively. Yeah, I hate them Yeah, so that's why I hate me because I'm like JLo's pretty but not for me. He's like fucking Fuck you. Yeah No, no, no, no, no, but here's the kids the best example of it

It's like when a woman when these women that talk about I don't like that alpha male stuff, right? Oh, yeah And they talk about it negatively. Right? They talk about it negatively. But there are women out there who want an alpha male. Yeah, 99% of them. And they have to be quiet. They have to be quiet.

They have to be so quiet because, you know, they're talking all this shit and they're just kinda like, well, I kinda like when a guy grabs my elbow like, how, yo, yo. I'm just saying that, saying that's a preference. It's just a preference. I saw something online the other day. Do you think most women would rather be with

a guy that is the shit, you know, alpha male, whatever you wanna call him, that cheats or a beta guy that is like... Alphabet that cheats. You think so? Well, what were the results then? Oh, I don't know. I'm saying it's a question that was positive.

There's no way to vote or there's no editing? You want to vote? Yeah. Make a vote. Make a vote on the thing. Would you rather be with a guy that... Well, no, if you do the vote, they're not going to answer honestly. They would pick the guy that cheats because they think they can change him.

Right! Isn't that the truth, bro? Isn't that the truth? I'll change him. That's true. Save your... All I'm saying, you know what I would prefer people do? Stop telling me what you don't like. And tell me what you like. So all those women out there who are like,

I don't like alpha male. Ah, okay, okay. What do you like then? Because they're gonna start describing and you there who are like, I don't like alpha male. Okay. Okay. What do you like then? Yeah, cuz they're gonna start describing and you're gonna be like Yeah, yeah, it also like billions of dollars and tells everybody to shut the fuck up But also those those bitches complaining like you have a choice like that like you have a ton of options Well, well some well, you Well, women have options, but... As you get older, your options go away. Yeah.

I find that the older a woman gets, the more woke they get. The more like... Oh wow, interesting. Yeah, right. The more they start to be like, well, you know, you can't have your tits on the internet. Right, right, right. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah, but yeah, bro.

When you were 26, we'll get these pics of you. Yeah, whatever. you were 26, yeah, yeah take take these pics of you. Yeah, yeah No shit, it's not fair That's what we shouldn't put everybody in an umbrella like all women think the same all men think the same No, because we have these different phases. I think men have I think men are closer to like all different phases I think men are you know, really? I'll be in a minute. I can't wait till we can just turn off his, I'll be in Winnipeg. Chats on Zoom.

Winnipeg, Boston, New York, and a bunch of new dates all throughout. I've got, hey, shut the fuck up. I got Chicago. This weekend. Go to chrisaleah.com. That I'm really promoting right now. Well, I have 3,000.

I have other dates, but I just want to promote this date right now. Daytona Beach. Let me ask you a question That image right there behind the thing of me. I hate it. I I don't doesn't look like you I don't think that's me. It's not it's a I did somebody do something Because the guy who made my website no, no, no, that's a photo The all these photos are from my my guy that I bring separate for that I don't know what that shirt is and that back doesn't look like my hair Find another picture of me in that shirt. I don't know cuter obviously, you know, it might it might even be a chick

Is that a chick? Look how small the shoulders are. Are we still going? I think it's AI. Me too. I think it's AI. All these people look weird. If that's AI, I'm gonna fire him.

Because he's in focus. Why are they standing? Yeah, and there's also a black guy in the crowd. Yeah, they're not even standing cheering. Well, a lot of times they stand for me. They're just looking at you like this. That's how you do it. Yeah, they're not even laughing.

If somebody was going like this, yeah, Chris. That guy standing has arms folded. Yeah, they're I mean laughs somebody was going like this Yeah, Chris that guy standing has arms. I think I have to have to change this from your cult. Oh What is that picture? But but look I got it. I got asked. It's AI But that's a fireball offense if I said hey put photos of me on the thing and then he put that up if he was Like that's a fireball offense. It is guys scramblingambling right now He's watching the pocket. This is gonna disappear It's gonna be a weird picture. Why are they not fucking clapping? That's weird by the way, you don't remember some guy being in the back of you, you know, like well No, that that does happen. That will be Sam. I kind of like this

Hey, yeah, no, you're it out. Yeah. All right. I'll figure it out. All right anyway, that's fine Love you Chris the dog Pluto TV has all the shows and movies you love streaming for free Hey, just figure it out. Yeah, all right, I'll figure it out. All right, anyway, that's fine. Go to chrisley.com. Pluto TV has all the shows and movies you love streaming for free. That means laughter is free with gut-busting comedies like The Neighborhood, Boomerang, and Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Bueller. Mystery is free with countless cases

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